#they are a lot of work (not only the cleaning and the diet but they’re also REALLY smart and take a lot to keep entertained)

[bee-wg]

Year 2:

“Jay! What the Flip?” It’s the ass crack of dawn, and Theo is already trying his best SpongeBob impression.

“Whaaat?” I yelled back with a mouth full of pancakes.

“You put your dirty clothes on my bed again!” He squealed.

”Dude, you asked for it. What are you whining about?”

“Boys, What did I say about yelling in the morning?” She yelled.

“Yewn, bwintow!” I think Dad was telling us to break it off, but he’s too lost in the Cream Cheese Danish.

Can’t blame him. Delicious and high protein? There’s nothing better.

Theo rushed down with a constipated face. 

“Ewww. They’re still wet to the touch. Wait. Is it dripping sweat?”

Okay. I overlooked the wet part, but he asked me to have it. 

I’ve been cleaning out some gym clothes that don't fit anymore, and Theo wanted some. I’ve decided to fully commit on football and my stocky phase, so I gave that shirt one last try yesterday. It was definitely not made for a more rugged build person. As I walked around the house, I unknowingly soaked it. I used to be disgusted with sweating. I would shower and wash the clothes by hand after each morning run. Recently I’ve been sweating a lot easier, but Dad told me to look at the bright side of things, and I do see it. Usually I would only sweat when I get a real good workout. Since it's easier to sweat buckets, that means I’m getting lots of exercise.

That leads back to this. I don’t feel as compelled to wash them anymore. They’re the result of my hard work on the journey back to being shredded. 

“No more pancakes in the morning for the month.” He said.

“What?…But…You can’t do that.” 

His face tells me, “Yes, loser. I can.”

***

“What happened, dude? Your cat died?” Brad asked.

This is supposed to be an easy practice because it’s the last before the summer. I guess Coach woke up and chose violence. 

I’ve been only doing a few yards of Quick Steps and Sumo squats. My lungs are now collapsing.

I’m only 230 pounds; there are players heavier than me doing better. I’m doing something wrong. It must be because I didn’t have protein pancakes for days.

“Dude, you there?” Brad asked.

Trying not to wheeze, I replied.

“Yeah, S’all good. I’m just hungry.” 

It would be an understatement. When you’re used to protein goods pumping your belly full of energy every morning, what does five English muffins and some hash browns even do?”

“Hahaha, classic Jay. You’re the man.” Brad answers with a slap on my back.

“Gosh, you’re getting sweatier than Aiden.” He said in disbelief.

“Oh, by the way. Aiden’s going to Costco to buy a speaker for our dorm. You mind giving him a lift?” Brad asked.

“Bad timing man, my dad broke the old Toyota. It’s taking a long time to repair.”

“No problem. I’ll see you next semester then. Take care!” Brad waved as he sprinted out of the field.

***

I felt like I could eat a horse when the bus arrived. I passed through the usual stops, and finally.

The warm smell of chicken nuggets invites me.

I pull out my phone and check. Ten consecutive days. I can definitely redeem a free meal today.

“Welcome, what can I get you?” The cashier asked.

“Can I have the Double Western Deluxe Combo?” “ I have the loyalty discount.”

“Thank you, here’s your number.”

After what felt like forever, they finally called my number. 

It’s a pretty big meal, but today’s situation calls for it. 

I’ve been doing pretty well sticking to a fries-only diet when I’m here. With some occasional burgers and soda thrown in, I’ve accumulated a few thousand points to have meals like this once in a while. The only downside is the bus here takes way too long. I guess it’s better than the neighbours knowing I’m a regular customer. 

As I finished the fries, I saw a guy wandering outside with my university’s gym bag.

Wait, is he from the team? 

Wait, is that Aiden?

No. Shit, Is Aiden waving to me?

He’s probably waving to someone else.

Then the door’s jingle chimes.

“Yo, I didn’t expect to see you here!” Aiden said.

My alone time is ruined.

“Yeah man, me too. What brought you here?” I asked.

“Just bought the speaker and couldn’t find any restaurants here. I thought Costco had a food court.” He looked down at my plate.

“Whatchu havin’? Oh Damnnn, that’s a chunky burger!” He said in excitement.

“Haven’t had them in years, my mom hates that shit.” 

I just wish to crawl into a hole at this point.

“Yeah, my mom hates them to-” 

“I should have one too.” Aiden interrupted.

”What?”

Then he came back with a smaller combo with a box of salad.

“Oh man, I’ve been wanting to have a taste for so long,” Aiden said with glittering eyes.

He got a few bites of the burger and fries, then moved on to the salad.

“So what are you doing this summer?” I asked.

“Oh, not much. Probably hang out with the guys. My dad wants me to go to a training camp though. It’s not like I will play football after college anyway, so what’s the point?”

Then we talk about dorm drama and who the coach is going to recommend to the NFL scouts.

He is actually quite chill to talk to. 

“You don’t like it?” I point down to his unfinished burger.

“No, it’s the best thing I’ve had in years. Definitely beating celery or carrots. I just have a diet going on, and I kinda impulse bought this.”

“I could finish it for you.” I offered.

“Really? Thank you so much dude!” He said.

“You’re actually pretty fun to hang out with. I always thought you had a stick up your ass.” He added unhelpfully.

By the time the last of his burger and fries disappeared in my stomach, I was ready to sleep it off when I got home. 

My phone rang, waking me up from sleep. It’s 2 AM.

Probably Number Seven. He always calls at an odd hour. 

I picked up the call.

“Duuuuuuude, I didn’t know you go to fast foods. I thought we don’t keep anything from each other.” Instead of number seven, Brad said.

“Jay, knock it off,” Theo grumbled on the other side of the room.

“Keep it down, Brad. What is it?” 

I knew shit would get out of the bag sooner or later. At least I had two weeks of peace.

“Next time let me join too!” Brad said.

What the hell is up with these people? 

“Fine, whatever. Let me go to sleep.”

“Thanks a lot, man. I’ve never had fast food before!”

I have the feeling that this is going to bite me in the ass later.

Brad is calling me. Again.

“Dude, what?” I asked calmly.

“Woah, no need to get so worked up.”

“I asked some of my mates, they all agreed to meet up at the mall’s parking lot,” Brad said.

What is going on? It’s only been five hours since he last called me.

“Don’t forget to bring your laptop and an empty stomach! It’s gonna be an epic summer.” Then he hung up on me.

I should be used to Brad’s bullshit by now. He’s been like this since high school.

The bus on the way there is as tedious as usual. 

Why did he tell me to go with an empty stomach? Didn’t he know that I get really grumpy without any breakfast? It’s worse now without pancakes.

He looks at me eagerly, like a dog finding its treat.

“What is it, man?” I asked as he led me to the back of the restaurant.

Then, no Harry Potter bullshit, he opened the wall.

“What the hell? There was a room back here all this time?”

“Wait, Brad. You rented a party room?”

“It’s sick, right? I thought we could chill here for the summer, and go to the river nearby when we’re bored. Oh, I also brought the guys here. And a projector!”

“How did you afford this? I didn’t know you were rich.” I look at the big ass room with my friends in there already playing video games. Even Aiden the snitch is here.

“Oh, I have a pretty successful OnlyFans account. I thought I could spend it on you guys.”

“…”

“…”

“Good for you, man. Gotta hustle in this economy.”

He ordered a party combo with a bunch of salad. Then we started playing video games. It wasn’t until I was on a losing streak playing Yoshi on Mario Kart, I realized. They were staring at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

“So…Can you help us finish?” Aiden said.

Oh no. Not again. I turned to look at Brad.

He responded with a toothy grin.

“Please Jay, you have, like, the biggest appetite out of all of us. Look at all this free food going to waste. I bet you’re still hungry.”

“There are five of you,” I said.

“Marcus can help,” Brad added.

“Wait, me?” Marcus said.

He’s the team’s linebacker. The only guy bigger than me.

“Fine. At least it’s free.” I said reluctantly.

The fact that all of the juicy meat is screaming for my attention might be clouding my judgment.

We continued playing games, watched some movies while I munch

It was pretty fun. I got to talk to the people I wouldn’t usually talk to.

For example, I didn’t know Braxton played piano or Oscar was a hardcore Pokémon card collector.

The rest of the summer continued and the guys would meet up about three times a week.

I should’ve said no the second time Brad asked. But how can I let the food go to waste when the guys need me?

Marcus doesn’t come often because he’s occupied with his boyfriend. So the guys developed a way for me to eat all of their share. I would drink a dubious amount of water to expand my stomach in the morning, giving me more space. 

It was incredibly stupid, but when the guys cheered me up while I devoured the last of the remains, I felt pretty proud of myself.

By the end of the summer, not wanting to waste the last of our freedom. Everyone has been scrambling for things to do.

That’s where Brad’s dad comes in. He organized a BBQ party by the beach and invited all the football Dads from high school who were still in their little group chat. Of course, we are invited too.

“Oh come on, Jay Jay. You have to go, or else I’m gonna be all alone.” Brad whined.

“No Brad. You’re gonna be with twenty people, you won’t be alone.” I replied.

“If you’re worried about not having any swim trunks that fit, you can borrow from my old man, or we could go shopping together.” Shit, he’s awfully insightful.

“Your dad is like, 500 pounds. I’m not that fat, dude.”

Then Theo asked me if he could join cause he had grown out of his swim shorts too. Whatever that means.

That’s how we ended up here with Brad showing me an ugly Hawaii print speedo with a blue Jay on it, and Theo laughing his ass off with him.

“No, I’m not going to wear that,” I said for the final time.

“You’re no fun, Jay,” Theo said.

“Right? This guy gets it.” Brad replied to him.

“So you’re the culprit who made Jay fat,” Brad asked.

”Dude, you don’t know the half of it. I basically sacrificed myself to advance his cooking career.” I added.

“I don’t know. I would think taking care of his laundry, dishes, and meals, just to have him burp in my face and snore at night makes up for it. If anything, I'm doing too much. I should stop doing the protein pancakes agai-“ 

”Theo! You’re literally the best chef in the world. I am honoured to be your Guinea pig for the rest of my life.” I said.

He smiled 

Yes! Crises subverted.

“Hahahahaha you two are so strange.” Brad, who is still listening, said.

The possibility of protein pancakes being taken away from me sends shivers down my spine. I try to refocus on Brad’s shenanigans.

He came out of the fitting room with a professional swimming Jammer.

Why did he even take his shirt off? Goddamn washboard abs.

“Don’t you think it’s too extra for the beach barbecue?” I asked.

“I think it fits him nicely,” Theo said.

“Theo, you get me,” Brad said, then winked at him.

Is he trying to rizz my cousin?

“It’s my turn!” Theo said, grabbing a few trunks he chose.

Then he came out, without a shirt too, wearing a bright orange swim shorts.

“I see you’re putting my gym membership to good use.” Goddamn washboard abs, where did that even come from? Now that I think of it, he’s been fitting my old gym clothes better.

“You look awesome, Theo. The orange fits you nicely.” Brad said.

“I guess it’s my turn,” I said without enthusiasm.

After struggling to pull it up my ass. I walked out with the ugly print forest green trunk that’s wedged between my inner thighs; with a shirt on, thank you very much.

“Woah, look at those hefty thighs,” Brad said.

I’m out of options, and there’s no way I’m walking into another swimwear store again. So we made our way to the counter.

The day for the beach finally arrives, and I can already feel the swim trunks digging into my ass.

What’s more annoying is that Mom and Dad are now angry at me.

I would be angry at myself too.

Now I’m in a car with no AC, listening to how I should make better life choices.

“Jay, I didn’t think you would sneak off for fast food without telling us.” Mom said.

She caught the extra burgers I sneaked in to munch on at night this morning.

“Jacob, don’t you remember what I told you about garbage food?” Dad asked.

He said my full name. He never says my full name.

“If you want fried chicken you could ask mom to make it. You know it’s healthier at home.” Dad said.

“Am I not making enough, Jay?” Mom asked.

“I’m sorry Mom, I know I shouldn’t go,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it, honey. We can get through this together. If you want more fried food, Theo and I will make lots of it at home.”

“I got you, Jay,” Theo said, patting my shoulder.

We finally got to the beachside. After finding a shade to park our car, Dad struggled a bit to get out of the car. It seems like the old Toyota is seeing its last days. We might need to upgrade the car soon.

I know Dad is probably not mad at me, but his disappointment was worse.

Hopefully he can forgive me after getting some barbecue in his stomach.

We started setting up the chairs with Brad’s dad as more of my high school friends and their dads started coming in. I haven’t seen most of them since we graduated.

Dad went to greet them and it looked like he fit right in.

He was the Dad everyone’s dad was jealous of but couldn’t help to like him.

I was pretty shocked when I heard Dad wanted to come because he always declined their barbecue invites. 

He was the fittest of the group, but it looks like he is one of the heavier guys here. Dad told me he’s almost 260 pounds now, so Theo and I will probably lose again this year.

I feel conflicted. I wanted to look like Dad before when he had chiselled abs, but I also want to look like him now when he has a much larger presence with the same amount of confidence. I can’t do either correctly.

“You daydreaming, bro?” Brad said.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get the boxes out,” I replied.

“Just so you know, you can tell me whatever you want, Alright?” He said.

“Thanks man, appreciate it.”

He’s too pure to know about my problem with how my abs or belly doesn’t look right.

We got the tablecloth pinned in place to withstand the wind, then set up some disposable tableware.

“Good job, son,” Dad said as he patted my back.

I smiled for the first time today.

Brad’s dad put us on watch duty for the grill while I fought not to drool on the food. 

I’ll get my share. Old people first.

“Jacob? You’re all grown up! You’re a big boy now, almost as big as me. I bet you made your father proud.” Mr. Lancaster said. 

“Mr. Lancaster, you’re here! I didn’t know you were coming.”

He used to take me to his house with Ms. Lancaster when my mom was busy, or when Dad was substituting for other teachers.

Avery and I used to-

Wait, Avery is here?

I looked around to scan everyone.

“Oh, my boy is having a problem with his car, so he is probably not coming.” Mr. Lancaster said.

“We have the same issue too; it’s been a mess. Say hello to Avery for me, eh?”

“Of course, good to see you, Jay.” He replied.

I sighed in relief. I don’t know what to say to Avery if he comes. I missed him, but I also ignored him a couple times when I spotted him at the fast food place.

We served for an hour and a half. I probably lost the 60weight pounds I’ve gained, and my stomach is definitely deflated now.

Note to self: If I ever need to lose weight again, just stare at tasty barbecues all day just to have none of it.

“Ahem. Woah cool! Look at that shiny thing over there. I’m going to go fetch it!” Brad said suddenly, then ran off.

“Wait, you still have your-“

He ditched me.

I tried to flip over both of our grills to no avail.

“You need help?”

“Ahhhhhh!”I yelped.

Ave laughs with his usual lopsided smile.

“I thought you were,” I said.

“Dead? No. I caught an Uber.” Avery said.

“Right. Long time no see.” I reached out my hand for a shake.

“Seriously, Jay? When did you start doing that shit?” Ave said.

Same old Avery then. I took my hand back and hid a grin.

He looked so different I didn’t know how to react. By the looks of it, he’s almost doubled my weight, maybe around 450s. 

“Haven’t seen you in a while. You look good.” He said.

“You looked good too.” Now that I see him closely, it suits him, makes him look sturdy. His ass is hanging out in the back like a bra though.

“What were you up to this past year?” I asked.

“Well you know, I screwed up the football scholarship. But it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me.” He said.

“I was pretty depressed for a bit, so I decided to go on one of the self-searching trips to some countries and states...”

Then he told me about the kind people and assholes he met on the way, as we finally sat down with our share of Barbecues.

Ave said that he got to eat food he never imagined existed, learn about cultures that changed his perspective on things.

He said he has never felt freer of any emotional constraints than he is now. I couldn't stop my smile from forming. I’m really happy for him.

He has always been harsh on himself. When school didn’t work, he dedicated his all to sports. On his way there, I felt like I lost a friend.

We talked for hours about the airplane seats being a bitch and how he’s sorry for whoever sat next to him, or about how I am addicted to fast foods and pancakes. He’s probably the only one I know that can relate.

I was lost in the conversation, with Brad interrupting occasionally with strange looks of wiggling eyebrows or smug smiles. I really don’t know what he’s on.

It’s when Dad is folding up the seats, and Brad’s dad cleans up the grill. Ave asked me.

“Wanna do this again sometime? My dad’s coffee shop has a new brownie coming up that he’s really proud of.”

Yes, of course. I wanna learn more about you and be friends again.

“Sorry, men. School is going to be busy. I also need to focus on football more this year, or I will get too fat to play.” I said.

“No problem Jay. You know I’ll always be there for you.” Avery said.

I tried to one arm hug him and he fully embraced me. His body is so warm and unbelievably soft.

For a moment, I wished I was proud like him. But I’m not free like him

Gathering supplies Dad brought, I walked back to the car, forgetting to ask for his number.

The school year started without much fanfare. But the feeling of estrangement grew.

Hanging out with the team was fun, but playing the game just doesn’t bring me the same amount of rush and anticipation anymore, instead, I look forward to the meal after the game that brings me the rush. It’s not like I was playing the game much anyway; I’m a glorified Waterboy now. My job is to refuel the Gatorade or water, then squirt it into the guys’ mouths. After that, I just need to hand them the towel and sit back to finish my hot dog. 

I know the team appreciates me. I would keep doing it for them if not for Coach’s disappointing stares. He probably thought I would be a star player like Dad, but I ended up fatter than the linebacker. I would be disappointed too.

My decision was made following the buzzing call of our defeat.

Chapter 3 ->

[hesperisms]

// The Alphabet of Zayne

"If you can't grasp it with one hand, try using both hands..."

// summary: my attempt at the lewd Alphabet A-to-Z of Zayne.

// content warnings: 18+ (mdni), the whole thing is lewd, says so on the tin.

// a/n: goes without saying, but these are just my personal headcanons around Zayne. yours may be different and that's A-OK. Sylus Alphabet coming up next.

likes, reblogs, comments are always appreciated!

A // Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): Being a doctor, Zayne has you up and out of bed into the bathroom right away, giving you a cheeky pat on the backside if you protest as he hustles you out of bed, telling you that you need to go pee (he does not want to be the cause of a UTI and will feel terribly guilty if he has to support you through one). If your legs are too shaky he will carry you bride-style into the bathroom himself and will happily join you in the shower cleaning up after your sessions because it gives him more opportunities to worship your body.

B // Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner): Zayne likes his hands, mostly because you've convinced him that they're fantastic. He's always had skilled, dexterous and lithe hands and they've enabled a very successful career, but they became his favorite body part the day you gushed over how hot they looked when your couples glint photobooth photos came back. It amused him that you couldn't explain what you loved so much about them, but now rather than hide his scars, he will find ways to roll up his sleeves around you and give you a subtle show after work because he knows it turns you on. Conversely, his favorite body part of yours is also your hands; how they fit so small in his, the way you brush your fingers over his bottom lip when you cup his cheek, the way your fingers feel snaked through his hair in the throes of passion, how delicately they wrap around his cock...

C // Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): When Zayne cums, it's a lot; multiple bursts, thick and milky white, never watery. Even his precum is kind of thick and milky and there's a lot of it, he's an oozer. He's never been the type of man to masturbate before he met you and even now, he needs to feel desperately needy to, so he's pent up a lot and unleashes it on you every time you're together. Given his high sugar content in his diet and his predilection for sweet treats, his cum always tastes vaguely sweet, one of the reasons why you let him continue to eat as many sweets as he does.

D // Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): If you give him the opportunity, prior to you taking a work trip, Zayne will sometimes steal your panties. You don't even question it when he starts to buy you lingerie sets and panties. There's no need to call him out on it, he's not greedy; he'll only ever take one pair at a time and you always find them washed and returned to your panty drawer by the time you return home. It started by sheer accident; he slipped your soaking wet panties off under your dress when you two were fooling around in public one night and he didn't want you to lose them so he pocketted them and you both forgot about it. The next day you'd gone away for work for a few days and when he found them in his pocket doing his laundry, full of the scent of you it had driven him into a rare masturbation session.

E // Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): Zayne was a virgin before you. He'd never especially been interested in women, his studies had always come first and then his career, so relationships took a back seat and then before he knew it, you were back in his life, taking your rightful place with him. When things started to get more serious with you, he started to do some research privately so that he wouldn't disappoint you in bed, nothing lewd like watching porn but journals on erogenous zones, g-spot identification and stimulation, clitoral sensitivity and squirting. He wanted to be prepared for anything you might throw at him, because while you were his first, he's reasonably confident he's not your first, but he's never wanted to ask and have it be confirmed.

F // Favorite position (this goes without saying): Girl on top. He loves having you in his lap, straddling him, your perky tits bouncing right in front of his mouth, he gets to look into your eyes while you ride him, he can't get enough of it. This position feels like a cheat code to him, it lets him hide some of his inexperience because it lets the natural curve of his cock apply pressure to your g-spot and he can circle his thumbpad on your clit to provide you with extra stimulation. He's very intense in his need for you, so if you're not careful you'll find your chest and neck covered in love bites after a session in this position.

G // Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): Zayne has a very dry, cheeky sense of humor, so jokes made in the heat of the moment sometimes get misunderstood and taken seriously. That said, he leans to the more serious side when he's being intimate with you, but during foreplay he will make jokes, tickle you, laugh with you.

H // Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): Zayne is meticulous in his personal grooming, he knows body hair can trap in body odor, so he maintains himself impeccably. His chest and his armpits are naturally bare, but he shaves his treasure trail completely and manscapes his pubic hair into a cropped short, neat little bundle. He's very particular about his hair, he doesn't like it out of place, but he'll make an exception for you stroking his hair or grabbing fistfuls of it in a moment of pleasure.

I // Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): Zayne is obsessed with you, so he's very romantic - every session with you is him making love to you. He wants to look into your eyes, capture every moan, every whimper, every tremble and lock it away in his memory for the times you're not with him, he wants to worship you head to toe. Every time he's with you, whether he's being slow and teasing or more desperate and needy, he's seducing you.

J // Jack off (masturbation headcanon): As mentioned above in C and D, masturbating is rare for Zayne - if he's getting off, you need to be involved in some way or it's just not worth it for him. He's never been the type of man to watch porn and get off for the sake of it, it needs to mean something for him so he'll only ever masturbate if you've called him or facetimed him and stirred him up, or if he's had the opportunity to steal a pair of your panties to keep him company while you're out of reach.

K // Kink (one or more of their kinks): You and Zayne have naturally slotted into a soft dom / pleasure dom type of situation in your bedroom antics. He knows you have a praise kink from the way he felt your heart rate surge the first time he called you a good girl, and driving you wild drives him wild, so he loves to play into it for you. Conversely, the first time you held up one of his expensive silk ties and said you'd been a bad girl that needed to be tied up, he felt an incredible rush of blood to his loins. When you look up at him doe-eyed through your lashes and call him Sir, it sends a jolt straight to his cock.

L // Location (favorite places to do the do): Zayne doesn't like to rush his lovemaking and he's a very private, stoic person, so he prefers the bedroom, or the couch. He has slipped on occasion and made love to you in his office with the door locked and his evol having frozen over the handle so it can't be turned, but he has a reputation to consider so those moments of weakness are few and far between. When you're in his bed, he can encourage you to be as loud as you like and he can join you in really letting go.

M // Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): In a word, You. Your pleasure is like a drug to him, he is obsessed with worshipping your body, feeling you come undone on his cock, his hands, his tongue, committing every little mewl and cry of passion to his memory. He needs to hear you screaming his name in pleasure, nothing turns him on more.

N // No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Zayne doesn't swear, he doesn't like to hear swearing from you either. He feels quite strongly that you can express yourself lewdly and dirty talk without needing to resort to it. He also won't do anal - if you try and bring up the suggestion to him, he will go full Doctor mode and explain to you in detail why anal sex isn't going to have any benefits for you. Finally, being the jealous and possessive type, Zayne will never share you with anyone in any kind of polyamorous situation or a threesome. You're his and his alone.

O // Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Zayne is a munch, he loves to eat you out. When you get back from a work trip he will be on his knees in front of you at the door, slurping away at your pussy like a man that hasn't eaten a proper meal in days. Due to his lack of experience sexually he's a messy eater, loud and dedicated to suckling orgasms out of you back to back until you shove his face away from you. He loves to kiss you after he's eaten you, rubbing his sopping wet lips and chin all over your mouth so you can taste yourself on him once he's done. He's very touch-sensitive so he rarely likes to receive head because he finds it hard to edge himself and not just cum down your throat, but every time he lets you, he insists on kissing you afterwards.

P // Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): Depending on the mood that you've stirred him into, Zayne is either slow and sensual, or slower but intensely forceful. His idea of rough sex is not hard and fast, but pulling all the way out slowly, then slamming back into you and pressing his hips deeply into yours until you cry out, making sure you feel him as deep as you possibly can.

Q // Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Zayne doesn't like quickies at all. If there's a situation of you two having a potential quickie, he would rather edge and tease you and leave you wanting until later when he can get you home or back to your hotel room and properly pleasure you. If you're being insistent, he might slide his hands under your skirt and finger you at traffic lights to get you off while he drives you somewhere, but he won't partake himself, he'll save it for later in private.

R // Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): Being a doctor, he leans towards the risk-averse. He's open to roleplaying sexually with you, open to some more vanilla bondage aspects like tying your hands with his tie or spanking, but he doesn't get too exotic. Despite you being the love of his life and woman he wants to marry, he insists on condoms even though he knows you're on the pill because the pill isn't 100% effective on it's own. If you asked him about stopping the use of condoms however, he'd be open to it...but it needs to be your ask, he'd never ask you himself.

S // Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): Due to his inexperience, once he's inside you Zayne tends to cum somewhat quickly and only lasts a few minutes, but being a surgeon and very fit, his stamina is through the roof so he recovers incredibly quickly and is ready to go another round in a very short amount of time. He'll cum, eat your pussy to another orgasm and by the time you're done falling apart on his tongue, he'll be ready to slide back in and go again for you.

T // Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): Zayne bought you an app-controlled egg vibrator during a particularly long stint away from you where he'd been working remotely for almost a month. It has a two fold purpose: he gets to ensure he's still pleasuring you even when he can't be physically with you, and he gets to be sure you're going to bed and sleeping at a reasonable hour. It has a pavlovian response in you, the closer to 10pm you see the clock get, the wetter you start to get until you see the little push alert that tells you he's logged into the app and is waiting for you to turn the toy on.

U // Unfair (how much they like to tease): Zayne is an incorrigible tease. He will stir you up relentlessly whispering all sorts of tantalizing nothings in your ear in public, but if you try and touch him and act on them, he won't let you. He will edge you in his lap, holding your hands behind your back, coaxing the answers he wants to hear out of you or he'll stop touching you.

V // Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): He is a MOANER. Zayne is very vocal, gasps, moans, whimpers, growls, pants, all of it escape his lips shamelessly in moments of passion, when he orgasms it's loud and needy, moaning your name in a throaty whine of pleasure. It's another reason why he tries to keep his sexual activities in private and will only have sex in public if he's absolutely sure no one is around (ie: in a secluded garden in the dead of night) because he is LOUD.

W // Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): Zayne would love to experiment with using his evol in a pleasure situation, but he's a little intimidated by the prospect of an evol backlash when he's so unrestrained so he hasn't bought it up to you yet. The idea of making a little ball of ice he can roll against your clit, or a toy of ice he can slide into you is something he's interested in exploring in the future though.

X // X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): Zayne is circumsized, given both his parents are doctors too, and he's a grower, not a shower. He looks fairly average soft, but grows to about 7.5 inches when erect. He's got a curve straight upwards to his cock and it sits high, which makes it perfect for straddling him. He's got average girth, nothing excessive, but you're so small compared to him that it still requires warming you up before you can take him.

Y // Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): His body years for yours all the time, it takes no time at all for you to feel him get hard against you if you cuddle him too long, if you rub your ass against him deliberately to tease him, if you shift in his lap a little too much when you're cuddling watching TV or playing games together. It depends on your moods and situation as to whether or not you'll both act on it and have sex, but his body is keenly enamored with yours.

Z // Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Due to his PTSD from his time as a battle medic at Mt Eternal, Zayne can sometimes be a light sleeper, so a session with you can be just what he needs to exhaust him enough to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep without his regular nightmares. He tends to fall asleep very quickly in your arms, because it's where he feels the safest.

[arielleslipgloss]

Victoria Secret Is Back!! Here’s Your Guide To A Victoria Secret Angel Makeover (Part 1)

“I feel like when people judge me they’re not judging me, because they don’t know who I am.” - Gisele Bündchen 🪽

Hiii doll, welcome to Arielle’s makeover store!! It’s looks like you set an appointment for a Victoria Secret Angel transformation. Is that correct? Perfect, relax and take some notes if you like!

In this NEW series, I’ll be going over things like fashion, perfumes, makeup, hair, nails, what you eat, and more!! I hope you all enjoy this series, let’s start on your makeover💗

Before we actually get started, please keep in mind I’m not a doctor and I don’t own any photos that are being used. Thank you!!💋

1. Start Eating Clean!! I know you’ve probably heard someone say this before, and maybe it’s time you actually listen to them for once. If eating clean is confusing, no worries. Let’s start with the basics!! Now, the first thing is mindset. It may seem off topic, but trust me. What I mean by this, is think of eating healthy as a lifestyle. Many people think of it as restrictive diet. Which, it’s most definitely not. Instead of thinking of it as being “restrictive” think of it as discipline. I can tell you based off of my experience that this way of thinking works!! Next step, is to eat real whole foods. Literally start eating what God has provided us with since the start. Eat meat for protein, fish for healthy fats, naturally fermented foods for probiotics, fruits for healthy digestion, nuts for fiber, vegetables to improve your immune system, etc. Real whole foods, will make real impacts on your health. And let’s not forget supplements help a lot too. However, I would talk with a professional about what supplements to take. Overall, everything listed helps to get that inner and outer glow.

2. Body Care!! The key to soft skin, smelling good, fighting skin issues, and obviously feeling/being clean. As always, let’s start with the basics. A simple body routine consists of a body wash, something to exfoliate with, (ex: African net or exfoliating glove.) and lastly moisturizer. Super easy, effective, and simple. However, let’s crake it up slightly. If you wanna smell good try a dry brush, quality sugar scrub, Moroccan Kessa glove, body wash, scented lotion or body butter, shimmery body oil, deodorant, and the cherry on top perfume obviously. Now, me personally I really only do all of this together once a week. Cause the truth is, it does take a while to do all of this with my hair care routine. However, in the end it’s so rewarding and I feel amazing every time. All of this is completely optional of course, EXCEPT the first routine I listed. If your not doing the three step body care routine I listed at first, sorry but I’m just gonna assume you smell bad. The first body care routine is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. Well, now that you know that let’s go over some products. I am not gatekeeping here, so here are some my favorite body care products. Starting off strong with, the dry brush from Kitsch that’s available at Ulta Beauty. For good quality sugar scrubs I love making my own or using Josie Maran’s (available at Sephora & Amazon.) For finding an affordable and amazing Kessa glove Zakia’s Morocco (on Amazon) is perfect. When it comes to body washes, Dove and Naturium (Target) are my top choices. My favorite body lotion is from Naturium, but Esos lotions (Target) smell amazing. Another great Josie Maran product is their body butter, it’s leaves the skin soooo soft. Next, is NUXE’s shimmery body oil that’s available on Amazon. I will be skipping my favorite deodorants, since I feel that everyone has different preferences. Which, leaves us with only perfumes left. My favorites are Strawberry Poundcake (Bath & Body Works), Philosophy Warn Cashmere (Ulta Beauty), and despite not listening to her Billie Eilish’s Eau de Parfum smells like a literal glazed donut. Hopefully, that all helps!!

3. Be Kind!! The year is almost over and it’s never too late to share your love with others. So be kind to everyone, even if they have hurt you. Try complimenting people more, like the VS models would hype each other up. Maybe try giving 1-3 compliments to people you see. Oh, and always remember to be kind to yourself. It’s much harder to be nice to others, if you can’t be nice to yourself. So, take this advice as you will. Just never forget that you won’t remember that argument in 5 years.

4. Skincare Secrets!! I’ll be listing the top skincare secrets I’ve seen the angels share for perfect looking skin. Starting off with, eating their skincare. Whether it’s Gisele Bündchen’s Elderberry jello or Adriana Lima’s avocado smoothie. The angels know it’s important to eat and drink their skincare. Some recipes the angels have shared like Miranda Kerr’s celery juice and Candice Swanepoel’s favorite smoothie are amazing for your skin. Overall the angels aim for clean and beneficial foods/drinks. Which, I go over in the very beginning of this blog. Next secret is, lymphatic drainage facial massages. These massages are perfect for sculpting your face, and super easy to do. I mean all you need is, either a gua sha or your hands. Plus with the internets help, you can find videos on what massages to do. Now, what I’ll be sharing next is no secret. However, drinking water is a MAJOR step to having glowing skin. If you’re not drinking enough water your skin will let you know. Seriously, water works miracles for your skin. It reduces puffiness and inflammation. Which are things you’ve probably experienced. So, go drink your water right now if you haven’t. Last skincare secret of the angels I’ll be sharing is, facials. Most models have facials done regularly or for big events. However, it can be a bit on the pricey side for some. But no worries, I’ll be revealing how to have your own facial at home. For facial we’ll be focusing on cleaning your pores. First things first, is steaming the face. The benefits of steaming your face are honestly endless. Which, is why I love facial steamers so much. For those who don’t own a facial steamer just use a bowl, hot water, and a towel. Simply, put your face by the steaming water and throw the towel over your head. Then, wait for about 10 minutes. Next, grab yourself a clay mask. I personally loveee Zakia’a Morocco Ghassoul Organic Clay Mask. Once you’ve applied your mask, keep it on for however long is instructed. After that, rinse it off and wash your face with a gentle cleanser. Making sure you thoroughly cleanse your face for at least one minute. Last steps, are to moisturize and massage your face for a good ten minutes. And just like that, you have an easy and quick pore cleaning facial at home. That I can guarantee you is probably 10x cheaper. With that all being said, that’s all of the skincare secrets I have to share in this blog. However, I of course will be sharing more in my other upcoming blogs!!

5. Workout!! As we know, working out is so good for our health. It’s incredibly important for our bodies to move everyday. Now, I’m not saying to do an intense workout everyday. But, maybe go on a 20-30 minute walk everyday. You can also make a workout plan. Try aiming to do pilates, a dance workout, or any workout in general every 3-4 days each week. Not only does this help with a busy schedule, but also will make you feel productive.

6. Sleep!! In order to have a proper makeover you must get sleep. Getting sleep for at least 8 hours will help with your energy, digestion system, eye health, and your brain functioning properly. Sleeping will overall improve your health. So, making a night routine that will help you go to bed at a certain time.

7. Read And Journal More!! Reading and journaling can often be used to refresh our minds. Both can help relive stress, anxiety, and improve our health. Of course, be mindful of what you read. Some books can be bad for our health, so be aware. However, taking a break from our phones to read or journal should become an everyday habit. Maybe go outside and be with nature as you read or write. Take the time to breathe and sort through your thoughts.

8. Self Care Sundays!! Before the new week comes along, take the time to do some self care. Workout, shower, do karaoke, a face mask, eat nutritious foods, drink tea, watch your favorite movie, wash your bedding, read or journal, plan for the week, go on a walk, dress up cute, do your skincare, clean your room, give yourself a spa day, etc. Just do what you love and what makes you feel genuinely happy.

”The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.” - Gisele Bündchen 🐚

Thank you dolls for reading this until the end!! I hope you enjoy this series 💗

Remember to trust your intuition and stay pretty.

Xoxo, Arielleslipgloss 💋🎀

[fire-bugged]

The mercs reaction to being handed a kitten!

Mercenaries Are Handed A Kitten

Scout

- He’s never been around cats before. Never had any as a kid, and the base isn’t exactly a great place to keep pets.

- But the moment that little ball of fluff starts purring in his arms, his heart is melting. It’s just so cute!

- He has never felt anything so soft before, and he can’t stop smiling. Ends up trapped on the couch when they fall asleep in his lap. He doesn’t want to move and accidentally scare the little guy away.

- Also finds out the hard way that he’s allergic to cats. Cannot stop sneezing after only five minutes of petting the kitten. Worth it.

Soldier

- For the most part, he’s indifferent about cats. They’re cute, but beyond that he doesn’t have much of an opinion of them.

- But when the kitten starts play-biting him, he has the biggest grin on his face. He didn’t know cats could be so ferocious!

- Soldier now has a new favorite cadet. He trained the cat to attack ankles and leap down from high places to claw people. The only problem is that they can’t distinguish between teams very well. No one is safe from the feline terror. He’s still trying to figure out how to fix that little issue, but he’s incredibly proud nonetheless.

- The cat also gets along very well with Lieutenant Bites and the other raccoons. Maybe a little too well… they’ve learned how to sneak out of the base and tend to come home smelling of sour cream and garbage. Frequent baths are a must.

Pyro

- Absolutely ECSTATIC! They’ve always wanted a cat!

- They are immediately in love with the kitty. They spend SO much time getting cat supplies, alongside a ton of cute little cat toys, a cat tower, and a scratching post.

- Their cat is super chill. Completely unbothered by anything or anyone. Pyro uses this to their advantage to put the cat in cute little outfits sometimes. They have an entire cork board filled with photos of their cat in adorable costumes.

- The cat is allowed to freely wander the base, and Pyro loves to just follow them around and watch them do cat things. Whether it’s climbing up onto shelves, bathing itself, or just lounging in a sunbeam, Pyro enjoys hanging out with their cat.

Demoman

- When you hand him a kitten, he’s a bit hesitant at first. It’s far too dangerous to have a cat running around, the wee lad is going to be blown to smithereens!

- But to his surprise, the cat proves itself to be a fairly tough little guy. They’re able to stay out of trouble, mostly keeping to themselves and not getting into anything they shouldn’t. They’re also a skilled hunter, and single-handedly got rid of the base’s mouse problems.

- Demoman quickly took notice of how well the cat keeps rodents out of the base, and he gained a lot of respect for them. He’s a man who appreciates hard work.

- The cat is very food motivated. If anyone has food, they’ll follow them around yowling loudly until they’re given some table scraps. Demoman is the biggest sucker when it comes to this, and is the sole reason why the cat has gotten a bit fat. He can’t help it, they’re just so cute when they want something!

Heavy

- After being a mercenary for so long, there isn’t much that surprises Heavy anymore. However, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting you to suddenly hand him a kitten out of nowhere.

- The little ball of fur fits perfectly in the palm of his hand. He knew cats were small, but this thing is absolutely tiny.

- Refuses to feed it kibble. Heavy’s philosophy is that if he wouldn’t want to eat it, the cat shouldn’t be expected to, either. The cat’s diet mostly consists of various cooked meats, instead.

- The cat ends up being the type to perch on his shoulders. Whether Heavy is spending time in the rec room with the others, reading, cleaning Sascha, the cat will always leap up onto his back and curl around his shoulders and neck. Heavy will always reach up to gently pet the cat before returning to whatever he was doing.

Engineer

- He’s always been a dog person, but he’s familiar with cats thanks to how often he came across barn cats back in Texas. So when he’s handed a kitten out of nowhere, he’s got a fairly good idea of how to care for it.

- The kitten is a bit timid at first, but with a bit of patience, gentle encouragement, and tasty cat treats, Engineer is able to get the little guy to come out of their shell.

- The cat is an absolute cuddle-bug. They love to sit on his lap while he writes out new blueprints for his buildings. They like to swat at his pencil while he’s trying to write.

- The cat also likes to lay on top of the dispensers around the base. It’s one of their favorite places to nap.

Medic

- Medic is a bird person, not a cat person. The moment he’s handed a kitten, he immediately becomes a bit nervous. He doesn’t mind cats, but he doesn’t want them anywhere near his birds.

- He’ll likely find a new home for the cat with one of his teammates. So long as the cat is kept far away from his surgical ward and private quarters, then he’s fine.

- He may be able to cheat death in countless ways, but he hates the thought of his doves getting hurt. He’s not going to take that chance.

Sniper

- When he’s initially handed the kitten, he has no idea what to do with it. He’s never had a cat before. The only pet he’s ever had was a Spotted Python he had as a kid.

- The cat is very timid at first, running and hiding whenever someone comes close. Sniper can’t help but sympathize with the poor thing. It’s clearly scared and doesn’t understand what’s going on.

- He starts trying to gain its trust by leaving food in places close to where it likes to hide, and keeps his distance from those places. He never tries to approach the cat, not wanting to scare it away. As time goes on, the cat eventually starts to realize that Sniper isn’t a threat, and becomes curious instead. Sometimes, it even creeps up to him and gives him a cautious sniff, only to immediately run away the moment Sniper notices it.

- Progress is slow, but eventually Sniper is able to pet the cat for the first time without them being scared. They even begin to purr, and Sniper cracks a smile at the sound. All it took was a little time and patience.

Spy

- He had a couple of cats in the past, and he loved them very dearly. He hasn’t had a cat in years, but the moment the little kitten is in his hands, he can’t help but immediately fall in love with it.

- He’ll pretend he didn’t and act annoyed about having to look after it. But when you come back a couple hours later to check on him, that cat is melting in his lap and purring louder than a chainsaw.

- Absolutely spoils this cat. Only the highest-quality wet foods for them, as well as the plushest of cat beds to sleep on. However, the cat still prefers to sleep in his lap. Good thing he keeps a lot of lint rollers handy.

- He is also allergic to cats. He does have medication to help with it, though, so it doesn’t bother him as much.

[soobinskii]

jisung nsfw a-z headcanons.

warnings : smut.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

– sweet boy just wants to lay there for a few minutes. he gets so overwhelmed after he cums, just wants to lay there and listen toy your heavy breathing after.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

– he likes his arms, after all, he's worked so hard on them. getting them big n strong just to hold you up.

– he likes your ass, holding it, watching it jiggle, looking at it as you walk. jiji loves the shape of it. you wanna get him turned on easily? sit on his lap.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

– his cum is a bit thick, not hard-to-swallow thick but definitely thicker than average. but it's sweet, due to his diet. he mostly cums in you or in your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

– whenever he's alone & jacking off, he always moans your name out like a whore. if you were to walk in and hear him doing that, he'd be more than embarrassed.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

– not experienced at all, he's only watched porn & has never gotten to "under the belt" touching. the most he's done in his relationships was kissing to light makeouts. he learns quickly though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

– reverse cowgirl or doggystyle, basic but like i said, he loves your ass. he wants to watch the recoil as he fucks into you. he wants to spread your cheeks and watch you fuck back on his cock, creaming all over it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

– he gets very focused, so he doesn't think to crack any jokes. but if something happens, he starts to loosen up his focus and cracks jokes here and there.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

– trims it just enough for it to not be in the way, he's kinda clueless/indecisive on how he wants it shaved or what's most comfortable for you. he's clean about it though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

– during the moment, he's not very romantic, infact he's not really saying anything at all. he's kinda lost in a trance while you fuck back into him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

– honestly he probably jacks off a lot. as much as he can even. every little thing just gets him horny. every little thing. his hormones are raging & the blood is ready to rush to his cock every second.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

– masochism : he's a bit of a masochist, he wants you to mark him up & bite him. he loves seeing bruises, bite marks and the works after you two have sex.

– comfort sex : not really a kink, but he just wants you to comfort him or vice versa. he loves comfort, especially when he doesn't know what to say in certain situations.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- on the couch. he likes the vibe of the living room & he's always there, so naturally he enjoys the couch. (or in his gaming chair, ill get to that later.)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

– literally anything, you could bend over to pick something up while in shorts (or even sweatpants) and he's picking you up and taking you to the bedroom while palming himself.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

– doesn't like extremely sloppy sex. he does not feel like cleaning up that much after. he'll wash the sheets, change them & shower, but when there's too much and you both just feel slimy after, he doesn't like it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

– loves giving and receiving equally. he's good at giving & the groans he lets out while receiving are so deep and sexy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

– mostly fast, he gets lost and drunk on you and doesn't come out of that headspace until you're both finished.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

– he doesn't mind them. if you're down, he's down. he makes sure you cum first before anything, because he feels bad asking for a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

– doesn't mind them, likes experimenting but isn't too big on risks. he'd rather try tying you to the bed before he does anything in public, he's so shy.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

– he lasts about 2-3 good rounds. he has good stamina, but gets overwhelmed when he cums. when he's overstimulated he can't do anything but turn into a whiny mess.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

– doesn't currently own any, other than a fleshlight maybe. he's down to try more though, preferably on you so he can see your reactions to different things.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

– he enjoys teasing a fair amount, but mostly just wants to get to the point. only teases every once in a while.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

– he's not very loud at all. he lets out small whimpers and grunts. he mostly pants and gasps, like he's about to cry. he sounds very cute.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

– he watches porn. if you let him record while fucking you, he's watching those videos / if you don't want him watching porn he won't. he acts like a gooner, brainwashed by you. he always just wants you. when he gets into this mindset he can get a bit subby but still prefers to top. just cannot get enough of his beautiful partner

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

– he's somewhat long but not very girthy. just a small bit over average but skinny. still big enough to make you cum hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

– his sex drive is really high. he wants you at every second of the day. small touches go a very long way with this boy.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

– eh, doesn't really fall asleep. he can stay up and game or do other non-demanding tasks for a few hours. after he lays down for a bit, he's good to go.

a/n : i read this one jisung gooner fanfic and cannot get gooner ji out of my head 😵‍💫

[coolpointsetta]

roy looks good doing everything. actually, he almost looks better than that when he’s doing absolutely nothing at all. coming home after a night out or spending the weekend at his mum’s and finding roy curled up on the couch with a book never fails to send that feeling into jamie’s gut.

roy looks good wearing a suit, he looks good wearing nothing. he looks good in the kit he wears for a charity match. he looks good while working out, while cooking, while cleaning.

jamie had always known roy was an attractive man. and he’d always thought that roy had looked his absolute hottest while dominating out on the pitch.

he was sorely mistaken.

roy looks his absolute best buying groceries.

saying it out loud, it sounds like the most unsexy thing in the history of the world, but it’s true! jamie was once an unbeliever, but he has seen the light.

grocery shopping for them is a very important time. jamie’s diet is still held within the boundaries that the nutritionist sets, but roy is a master of creating meals that are nutritious and delicious, so he needs very specific ingredients.

their routine is as follows: roy writes down what they need in the order that they’ll pass it in the store (“the store is organized the way it is to make more money. if we map it exactly right, we won’t be distracted” roy always says) while jamie keeps trying to add sweet treats like jaffa cakes or biscuits. roy always says no.

and there’s something hot about roy giving him a glare that only makes jamie want to tease and press more.

but after the list is made, they get in the car and drive to the store, and the entire way there, roy has one hand on the wheel and the other hand on jamie’s thigh, rubbing his thumb over his skin in a way that drives jamie absolutely insane.

(and if roy gets a blowjob in the parking lot before they go inside, who’s to say?)

but the hottest part of it all? the actual act of grocery shopping.

it’s hypnotic. jamie always finds himself unable to look away as roy walks through the aisles, adding items to their cart as they go. he inspects a loaf of bread, staring at it like he’s playing bad cop and this lump of flour is about to break the case wide open. he carefully turns over each piece of fruit, making sure they’re not bruised or already too far gone to do anything with. the way roy uses all five senses when picking something out; sniffing it, feeling it, sometimes tapping it to try and hear how ripe it is.

and don’t get jamie started on the way roy’s hips sway as he leans against the cart, pushing it along. because sometimes jamie has to stare down the closest produce just to get some of the thoughts out of his head.

jamie himself is utterly useless while grocery shopping, because he still wanders off and tries to add sweet treats to the cart, all of which are removed with a glare. which is extremely hot too. the glare that is, not roy taking out jamie’s favorite candies. that still sucks.

but there’s just something so…secure about going grocery shopping with his boyfriend. maybe secure isn’t the right word but it’s the one jamie has on hand. other words include happy, horny, delighted, and content.

and so they pay for their shit and they leave, passing on the plastic bags and using their reusable ones instead.

the one thing jamie insists on doing while grocery shopping however, is carrying every single bag inside in one go. mama didn’t raise no bitch, and these muscles aren’t just for show. and this would be relatively easy if he just let roy take a bag or two, but this is jamie’s time to shine, so he scoops up their reusable bags in his arms and walks their groceries into their house all by himself.

if roy reaches for something, jamie switches all the groceries to his other arm to take roy’s hand.

(and if jamie gets a quick blowjob before the ice cream melts? who’s to say? maybe roy finds grocery shopping with him just as hot)

[its-time-to-write]

hi my lovely !!

i’m such a big fan of your jamie work and was wondering if you would consider writing about jamie using bantr ??

like she works at richmond and jamie had like a massive light bulb moment when he realised who he’s chatting to but also that he may be are falling in love

totally get if not on your radar !! x

Here you go!! I haven’t written a fic with Bantr yet, so this was fun!!

not saying you’re in love with me 

Dating apps aren’t really your thing. But to be honest, are they anyone’s thing? Or are they like resumes, where everyone just pretends they’re easy and lies about their qualifications?

It doesn’t matter, because you’re on one anyway. 

Keeley Jones (damn her) had hunted you down and practically begged you to sign up for Bantr. 

“Look, you’re young, sweet, and mad fit. Can’t have a bunch of hot footballers in the app and no ladies!”

You had groaned as you put the chicken for today’s lunch in the oven. It’s not easy being Nelson Road’s on-campus chef. There are diet plans to follow, and a million hungry boys all the time. 

It also means you can’t escape Keeley when you’re in the middle of prepping lunch. As soon as it’s served and cleaned up, you can go home. But for now, you’re at her mercy. 

“Keeley, just because I’m the only twenty-something girl on staff here doesn’t mean that I want to date a footballer. Go bother Samantha. She’s what, thirty and goes on dates every weekend? She’s a perfect candidate.”

Keeley pouts. “I’ll set up your whole profile for you. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re talking to someone, just if you like it, yeah? I’ll help you with meals for a week.”

You point your tongs at her. “You will not even think about touching my food for the rest of eternity,” you warn. 

“So you’ll do it, then?” Keeley asks, giving you the full puppy dog expression. 

You consider for a moment. You’re single at the moment, and have been for a good long while. It wouldn’t hurt to be on Bantr and anyway, it’s not like anyone will know who you are. 

“You’re sure it’s anonymous, then?” you ask. 

Keeley jumps up and claps her hands with a squeal. “Totally! Oh my god, I’m so excited for you. I’ll set it up right now. Give me your phone.”

You point to your bag. “It’s in there. Passcode is-”

“Already know it,” Keeley interrupts. You’re not going to question how or why, you just nod and throw your gloves in the trash. 

“Hairnet looks great on you, Keels,” you say conversationally. 

“Fuck you,” she replies, not looking up from your phone. “And- done! You’re ready to start bantering. Ooh, there are a LOT of men nearby! Wonder how many of them are part of AFC Richmond?”

You shoot her a glare, but she just grins. “Put my phone away,” you tell her. 

She slides it back into your bag. “Just promise me you’ll tell me if you like it. I’ll never ask for anything ever again,” she promises. 

You roll your eyes with a laugh. “Sure thing.”

—

STRIKE09 has sent you a message

You grab your phone as soon as it lights up. Keeley’s going to be fucking thrilled that you’re enjoying Bantr this much, and that you’ve been chatting with someone for a week. 

You open your phone to your chat. 

STRIKE09: finally off work

STRIKE09: how’s ur day

STRIKE09: burn anything?

BAKERGURL22: that was a one time thing!!

BAKERGURL22: work was fine. got off early so I could try a new recipe at home

BAKERGURL22: hbu?

STRIKE09: not bad. lads stole all my lynx so im going to boots to get more

BAKERGURL22: u really know how to romance a girl

STRIKE09: ah shit yea should probably try harder to impress u

You chuckle. Whoever STRIKE09 is, he’s been impressing you from the first day. Always asking questions about you, but never too invasive. Flirty, but not over the top. You’d set your age range in 20s-30s, so you were relatively confident this wasn’t some old creep. 

Your phone buzzes so you look down again.

STRIKE09: what did u make today?

BAKERGURL22: lemon cupcakes. not very healthy but super delicious

BAKERGURL22: I have to cook all this healthy stuff at work and sometimes I want to unwind and bake something with too much sugar ya know?

STRIKE09: bet theyre mint

BAKERGURL22: no they’re lemon

STRIKE09: oi, we got a comedian

BAKERGURL22: look, I had to make plain chicken and a salad with fucking olive oil as a dressing today

BAKERGURL22: it was so gross. I apologized 2 the staff but like, it’s what they all requested

BAKERGURL22: worried im gonna be banned from cooking ever again

Across Richmond, Jamie Tartt nearly drops his phone in Boots. He knows exactly who the girl on the other end of this conversation is. The question is, do you know who he is?

He’d assume no, based on the way you’ve been cagey about work. Not private enough though, because he remembers you making a face earlier that afternoon as you said, “Sorry this lunch is such shit, but I guess you all probably don’t care. I swear I’m a better cook than this.”

Jamie had smiled and kept moving, but he’d been thinking about your scrunched nose all day and the sweet way you said sorry.

What are the odds that he matched with someone who worked in the same building as him?

Apparently pretty high.

Jamie’s not really present the entire time it takes him to check out. He’s grateful that the combination of his hoodie plus the tired teen checking him out means he doesn’t have to talk to anyone. 

He kicks off his shoes and flops onto the couch as soon as he gets home, trying to figure out what to say. Should he say anything? What if he does and you decide you don’t like him?

He shrugs it off and puts his phone away for the night.

—

You frown at your phone for the hundredth time this morning.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Keeley asks from her position at the coffee pot.

“Haven’t heard back from my Bantr match. It’s really strange. We were talking last night and then he just stopped responding. He at least sends me a good morning message, but I haven’t even gotten that.”

Keeley gives you a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, babes. Ghosting is an epidemic. Have you looked at any of your other matches?”

You shake your head and say, “Nah, I wasn’t really interested in them. I really fucking liked this guy. He was sweet, funny, and so good at flirting. I dunno, maybe it’s easier to be like that because it’s all through a screen, but it felt like we had an actual connection.”

“Well, you don’t have to message anyone else if you don’t want to. You can delete the app altogether.”

You say, “Thanks, Keels,” then go back to chopping vegetables. One bright spot of the day is that lunch will be less shitty than yesterday.

You slide the vegetables in the salad just in time. You hear the familiar rumble of AFC Richmond coming in from the field so you plaster a smile on your face and get ready to pass them their lunch.

—

The rest of the afternoon slides by in a haze. You put an earbud in as you wash the dishes, say goodbye to the office staff, then head out the front door to your car. Someone calls your name and you jump. “Jesus, Jamie.” You turn around to see him push himself off the wall by the door. It looks like he’s been waiting there.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “You headin’ home?”

You say, “Yeah, I only work for part of the day. What are you doing out here?”

Jamie wraps his hands in the front of his shirt and considers what he’s going to say. He’s been thinking about it all morning, and he’s still not sure what the right approach is.

“Look,” he begins hesitantly, “y’know how Keeley’s promoting Bantr?”

“Yeah,” you say.

“I been chatting up this girl, like, and she- I dunno, I really like her. I was thinking we could meet in person but I don’t know if she’ll… fucking… want to.”

Christ, he’s stumbling over his words like a goddamn fool.

You raise an eyebrow and say, “Okay..? Are you looking for advice?”

You’re beyond confused right now. This is the longest Jamie has ever talked to you, and certainly the most awkward he’s ever been. Usually he takes his food with a wink and a “Thank, love.” Sometimes he’ll even through in a compliment.

Jamie untucks his hands just to shove them in his pockets. Fuck it.

“I know it’s you,” he says bluntly. You open your mouth to say something, but he keeps talking. “Figured it out last night when we were talking. You made lemon cupcakes yesterday, yeah? You hated lunch yesterday and said sorry for it like a million fucking times. My username is fucking stupid, just my position and number.”

He stops, unsure where to go from here. Meanwhile, your brain is whirring a mile a minute. 

“You’re Strike09,” you say slowly. Jamie nods and you slap your forehead. “Oh god, I was flirting with you! Shit, this is so fucking awkward. I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew who you were.”

“No, that’s the thing.” Jamie takes a few steps, closing the distance between you. “Don’t think we would’ve done it if we fuckin’ knew each other. But we did. And we like each other.”

Your head is still in your hand. This is too much. You’re conscious of the fact that you’re still in your hairnet.

You look at him just long enough to ask, “So what’s your point?”

“We should give it a go.”

You snort. “Yeah, right. What’s your actual point?”

Jamie looks at you incredulously as he says, “That is my actual fucking point! I like talking to you! I think you’re fit! I know I’m fit and you like talking to me. I sneaked out of training to talk to you. Told Roy I weren’t feeling well, and he’s gonna send someone to check on me soon so if you have a real reason why we can’t try dating, I want to hear it.”

“I don’t,” you admit. “It’s just a lot to process.”

Jamie nods. “Yeah, alright, yeah, sure. Let me know. Um, I have to get back before someone finds me. I’ll see you around.”

“See ya,” you halfheartedly reply. 

You think about Jamie the entire way home. You head straight to the kitchen and mechanically begin pulling out baking supplies. Cooking is fun, but it’s also your job. Baking is how you unwind. You’re halfway through an orange tart when you realize what you’re making. 

“Damn it!” you cry. Fucking Jamie. You smack down your spatula and grab your phone to text Keeley with a request. She responds almost instantly with Jamie’s phone number. 

He picks up on the second ring. 

“You rejecting me over the phone now?” he quips. 

“How’d you know it was me?” you ask. 

“Keeley,” he replies, and you can’t stop a smile from spreading across your face. 

“Same,” you say. “I wanted to tell you that I thought about it, and I want to go out with you. I don’t know when you’re free, but I’m around after 3pm pretty much every night. God, that sounds super lame.”

Jamie laughs. “So if you sent me your address, I could be at yours in…”

“Fifteen minutes,” you supply. 

“Set a timer, babe,” Jamie says. “Bet I can make it in ten.” 

[bunnypansy]

NSFW Alphabet: Idia Shroud!

Rated R, for EXPLICIT CONTENT!

A short script about Idia Shroud's sexual preferences!

Featuring: Idia Shroud, and you!

Beware! This film contains: sexual content (obviously), mentions of (hentai, fucking machines, sex pollen, tentacles), choking, praise, overstimulation, dumbification, gender neutral reader

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

By the end of the night, Idia is a wreck- highly likely you're doing the aftercare babes. The best you'll get from him is some cuddles and kisses before he conks out.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hands. Soft hands, rough hands, big hands, small hands, skinny hands- Idia just looooves hands. Idia likes how it feels when you run your hands over his skin, the way they feel in his hair, on his cock. He always thinks your hands look pretty, no matter what they’re doing.

Honestly, Idia isn’t sure he likes anything about himself; but at the very least, he has a love-hate relationship with his skin. Obviously he’s very pale, and he bruises very easily; on one hand he likes having your marks on him, on the other it’s very embarrassing that hickies show up like highlighter on his papery skin.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Geeze. Sorry Idia lovers but his diet isn’t very good and he definitely doesn’t drink a lot of water; it’s not tasty, pretty bitter, and thicker than syrup. The moment you start fucking he tries to change his diet and drinks more water- he feels very very bad about the texture and taste of his cum. Don’t tell him how you feel about it, he’ll shrivel up and die with shame. He doesn’t cum very much, only a couple little spurts- honestly it’s kinda cute.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Do I even have to explain this one? It’s hentai- or more accurately, hentai, doujins and smutty fanfiction. Yeah, I’m projecting, what of it? He keeps a spank bank hidden deep on his pc full of his “material”, and he buries it even deeper when you two start getting it on. What’s his favorite genre you ask? Ohh well, sex pollen, tentacles, fucking machines. If you ever find it, he’d be mortified.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

EXPERIENCE?! IDIA???? Very funny babe, this man’s only experience is his fleshlight. Chances are he’s kissed more frogs than people, and don’t even get me started on sex. You’re going to have to guide this hot mess through every single step, buckle in baby.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

There’s two! If you’re pegging him (yeah I’m bringing it up this early), he prefers doggy style; this way he can muffle his noises and hide his face pretty easily, bonus: your strap/cock almost always hits his prostate at that angle. Now, if he’s the one putting it in you, he likes the cowgirl position, this way he can put his hands all over you and watch your expression all while doing very little work. Most of all, Idia prefers positions where he can stay still and just take whatever you do to him, pillow prince vibes for him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Not at ALL. If you make a joke during sex, chances are Idia won’t even catch it because he’s too deep in the moment. God forbid you laugh about something, Idia’s delicate pride will be injured forever. He’ll need to stop immediately so you can reassure him that you still find attractive and no, you weren’t laughing at him- even then he’ll still need to stop for the night to reassure himself.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Alright sports fans, this is the one you've all been waiting for… yes he's got little fiery pubes! I think he's got a happy trail, and he's the type to not shave so don't worry about it disappearing. Like I said, he doesn't really shave, but if you two are regularly fucking, he'll trim and clean it regularly.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Idia is a very very insecure man, he needs lots of reassurance and care. Maybe it's not all intimate, but there's never a moment that you think Idia doesn't love you. When he gets really needy, he'll pull you closer and bury his face into your neck, whimpering right into your ear.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Man is horny. Hooooooorny. I'd say he jerks off at least once a day, with or without you guys regularly fucking. Idia is basically always in his room and on the internet, so if he feels the need he'll just pull up some good ol porn. The way Idia masturbates is almost frantic, humping into his own hand and whimpering- he's wayyyy too loud. The only obstacle is that he has to shoo Ortho out of the room to go do something else.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise: Is this really surprising to anyone? Idia is a delicate man, getting praised for anything makes him a little bit squirmy, but hearing it from you? He can't manage to say anything to you during the act, but his favorite thing to hear is "good boy".

Hair pulling: Idia's got a lot of hair! It's easy to your hand in it and yank hard, earning a cute little moan from him. Use his hair as a handle while you fuck him from behind please (:

Choking: Listen. Grab Idia by the throat. His eyes roll back and he drools all over himself- if you choke him out before you get started, it'll get him brick hard in a second.

Bondage: guy is a rope bunny. A lot of his kinks are about giving up control, considering Idia has played adult a lot of his life, and bondage is the number one way to give up control.

Blindfolds: Again, blindfolds are a great way to take away control and Idia likes being a little surprised by what you're doing!

Overstimulation: Idia loves when you make him cum so much it hurts, so much he goes stupid, so cute ((:

Dumbification: We all know Idia is anxious, and a sex is a great way to turn off his brain! He's heard that he's smart all his life, tell him he's a good, dumb boy and he'll melt into a little puddle of cum

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

BEDROOM. Sorry freaks, you cannot take this guy outside, he's too domesticated; he'll be way way way too freaked out to get or stay hard. Don't put him through this.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Praaaaise. Kill me for being repetitive, but Idia is most motivated by your words of praise! No matter the position, Idia is mostly here to serve you. He wants to hear how good he's making you feel, and how good he's being!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Idia is incredibly turned off by degradation. Mental illness does enough of that for him, and even if you claim that your harsh words don't reflect your true thoughts, Idia just can't shake it off; it eats him up at all hours. In the end, degradation would really just erode your relationship.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Idia is giving pillow prince. For one, his big sharp teeth make it awfully hard to give head without shish-kebabing your bits, most people don't wanna risk that and especially not Idia. Second, Idia just makes the prettiest noises while you suck him off, why would you wanna do anything else? He drools and wails and nearly sobs like you're sucking the soul out of him- it's a sight to behold.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If Idia is the one setting the pace, you'll have to get used to his somewhat erratic thrusts. He goes rough and fast in short bursts, then slows to a crawl- he's not trying to be a tease! He just gets overwhelmed so quickly…

Now, if you're the one doing the work, you'll quickly find that Idia prefers to start slower, then work up to a much faster pace- go too hard too soon and he'll cum early, and that's just embarrassing! Well, for him anyway

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Idia is horny with a capital H, so he won't mind a good quickie! Never expect it outside the comfort of your own home, however, if you get needy out in public that's between you, your right hand and the nearest bathroom.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

I think Idia is rather open to experiment? As I said, he's low on experience and reads some kinky material, so he's likely to try anything once as long as they don't violate the three Ps (Public Places and Piss)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Idia is here for a good time, not a long time. Sort of. To be clear, Idia is very sensitive and he's not going to last very long, but! He can go many rounds. Each round might be about 20-45 minutes, but he can manage at least 5 before he gets overstimulated, and even then, he's happy to keep going.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Before you two were a couple, Idia already owned a couple of toys, notably: a pocket pussy, and a butt plug he got to experiment with, but has been too scared to use. However, with some gentle nudging, you can get him to expand his tastes! Idia might not enjoy using toys on you, he's never quite sure what to do, but pleeeease use toys on him. His favorite combination is a 6-inch, studded vibrating dildo and a vibrating cock ring, drives him absolutely crazy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not at all, really? He's a bit too eager for that, he wants what he wants, and for the most part, Idia does not want to delay getting dicked down.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

So loud. Gag Idia Shroud for the sake of your neighbors and eardrums. The man while whine and whimper while you suck him off, he moans so loud while you fuck him. Idia finds it humiliating and tries to stay quiet, but he's just so sensitive

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Idia cannot manage to take a single flattering nude, sorry guys ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I think he somehow always makes his dick look scared in his photos

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

7 inches, don't think there's much of a size difference from when he's soft or hard. His dick is veeeeery pale, with an almost mauve-ish tip; no birthmarks or anything, but really prominent veins. #1 member of the leaky cock gang, he gets wet very fast and very easily.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Idia is incredibly horny, and getting together only makes him Worse™. He'll probably hit you with a "u up?" At least twice a week, if not more. However, Idia gets very anxious about seeming needy and puts off asking you until like midnight.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quickly, I think? Idia will knock out pretty quickly after you two finish up, he's not much of a physical activity guy. He does like some pillow talk after sex- mostly you reassuring him that he did well, that you enjoyed everything and that you still want him; but that's only going to last five minutes before he falls asleep. Clean up can happen in the morning!!

That wraps up our showing for today folks!

I hope I wrote Idia okay? He's not really my cup of tea so it was hard to think of things for him. Hope this quenches your thirst!

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

How reckless could a race of people be if they could heal rapidly? If someone got hit by a car in real life and needed a few months to start walking again, and over a year to do anything like martial arts again, for these people, they'd be walking in a few days and doing martial arts in two weeks. If they would die on impact, then yes, they would die. If they would die in an ambulance, it depends but they would still have a chance. In real life, cuts that take a few days to heal will be healed in several minutes. They definitely do feel pain of course, but as a whole, the general populace has pain tolerance just below those of elite athletes in the real world. I'm imagining these people might be the daredevil type.. could it be very common to get cuts and bruises, not strange to see some of the worst kids or teens getting cut nearly every single day, multiple times a day. I mostly want to focus on the injured = not a big deal bit. Or getting injured as part of normal daily life. But what else might this affect? More surgeries happening because people decide the recovery time isn't an issue (doesn't eliminate other factors of course) How about piercings? If someone goes half a day without piercings, their hole would close. Maybe... medicine that stops the healing process? But how expensive could those medicines be vs getting pierced again?

Tex: So there’s this plant, called plantain. One of the common varieties is known as Plantago major. One of its primary uses in herbal medicine is to heal wounds - and it’s very good at it!

A little bit too good, unfortunately, and it often comes with a warning to clean out wounds first before applying it, because it has the tendency to work so quickly at encouraging skin to knit back up that infections can easily be sealed underneath. This is a problem, because in order to heal the infection, the skin must be cut back open, lest someone risk the infection spreading to the blood and causing sepsis (if not, in bad cases, necrosis).

“Super healing” has many of the same flaws. In practice, the process of healing is rather complex, and while there is some overlap in steps (excess blood cleared away, immune system response to pathogens, phagocytosis, signals sent to regenerate broken tissue or other affected organs), doing too much of only one process can have detrimental effects on the patient in question. It’s the reason why in first aid you clean a wound first, then apply medicines, then apply bandages.

Things like bones, and the squishier bits called organs, take time to heal, because they’re not only reallocating resources to grow new cells (i.e. neurogenesis, osteogenesis, etc), they’re also going through the entire pathway of fighting infections (i.e. B cells, T cells, etc) and checking for cancerous markers of cells that duplicated incorrectly (uncommon, but non-zero possibility). It’s a lot, lot more than “add calcium to bone” or “make skin whole”.

Regeneration of tissue is also rather itchy, and uncomfortable. That, barring anything else, is going to make a lot of people think twice about how many injuries they’re willing to risk. Compounding injuries compounds the discomfort, and most people wish to avoid being uncomfortable if there’s any other option for a situation.

On top of that, rapid regeneration would require a large amount of resources for both calories and micronutrients. This translates to being hungry all the time. Humans can generally heal quickly with a good diet and enough sleep (the brain regulates the flushing of metabolic waste during sleep, Patel et al.), which is why it’s seen as a good sign for hospital patients to have an appetite and also to have a regular sleep schedule.

You can handwave as much of this as you like in your worldbuilding, but to borrow SAW’s general rule, “you break it, you bought it” in terms of internal consistency.

[shadykazama]

hii!! I wanted to ask if you still write for overwatch and if you do, could i request baptiste nsfw alphabet??? tyy

No, thank YOU whoever you are for requesting this!! I haven't done one of these in a hot minute and I honestly haven't been motivated much to write recently but I'll be DAMNED if I ignore a request for this angel. Bap needs love desperately, he's like easily top 3 hottest overwatch characters! Ugh 😩 anyway-

OW Baptiste NSFW alphabet~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

🧡 He is a romantic through and through. Will pepper you with kisses and let you rest on his chest after he cleans up. And I do mean HE. Cause he won't be letting you do any of the work, you are his prince/princess!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

🧡 Loves your hips! Grabbing them to pull you into a hug- or grabbing them during much less innocent activities is 100% his go to.

🧡 He loves his arms! Listen, that man works out. He puts a lot of effort into being strong and looking good. Besides just being proud of his hard work, big arms means he can toss you over his shoulder or keep you safe. He also loves when you grab onto his arms while he's fucking you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

🧡 Unsurprisingly, his cum is thick and doesn't have too much flavor. He has a really good diet which affects how he tastes! I definitely headcanon him as having had a vasectomy; he's nowhere near ready to have a kid and is a responsible individual who knows he's able to lessen the risk. If you're not uncomfortable with it, he loves to cum inside of you- but if you'd prefer he didn't, he usually tries to pull out and cum in his hand so he doesn't make as much of a mess.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

🧡 He's lowkey into exhibitionism and would love to fuck you in a public space, but he knows there's simply no way he'd actually be able to do it. At best, he may ask you to make a video with him for his eyes only.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

🧡 He's a huge flirt and an ex-mercenary, I can definitely see him being experienced with both men and women. Regardless of how experienced you are, he's positively gentle with you the first time you guys have sex. He wants to get to know you, and your body, the best that he can.

🧡 If you're inexperienced, he'll go slow and gentle, and will talk you through it with words that will leave you blushing red like an apple.

🧡 If you ARE experienced, however, he'll shift his attention toward learning what you like as quickly as he can so he can give you the time of your life.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

🧡 He loves fucking you in any position where you can easily grab his arms or he can easily grab your hips. He's a simple man~ I'd say missionary with your legs pinned up beside your head. Or- alternatively, holding you up against a wall.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

🧡 As romantic as he is, he's just as much of a flirt- and a playful one at that. It's rare that he's not cracking you up with terrible pick up lines or the corniest lovey dovey comments ever. He wants to see you smile and have fun with him!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

🧡 He's very well trimmed, well kept, clean 🤌. He doesn't mind hair on his partner at all, but cleanliness is important to him!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

🧡 Oh gosh, this angel?? You'll never feel more loved than when he's got you held in his arms. You are his god given solace and heaven on earth to him. Between cheesy lines and overly sweet comments, he'll spit out some poetry every now and then that will have your heart melting as he makes a mess of you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

🧡 I'd say he does it the normal amount, but more interestingly- he really likes mutual masturbation. Something about watching you touch yourself or vice versa is extremely hot to him and though you can't really tell, will leave him a blushing mess.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

🧡 Fun is the most important part of sex to him, fun and intimacy. So what does a fun loving, flirtatious, sweetheart like? Well roleplay of course! It's as silly as it is sexy, and if that doesn't scream Baptiste I don't know what does.

🧡 Exhibitionism, to a small degree! It's his dirty secret.

🧡 Praise!!! He could make a sailor blush with that silver tongue of his. He will never leave you feeling unloved or unworshipped.

🧡 Marking. There's just something SO hot to him about you leaving marks on him. Claw up his back, his arms- leave your lipstick kisses all over him, give him hickeys!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

🧡 The bed is most preferable, since he likes to take his time, but if he's in more of a rush or just feeling frisky he'll take you on the kitchen counter~

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

🧡 Form. Fitting. Clothing. 🙌 Show yourself off! He thinks your body is perfect and will melt when you show off that confidence.

🧡 Dancing. He's a good dancer and would love to dance with you. Get a little bold and start putting on a show for him~

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

🧡 Will NOT do degradation or receive it. It's a huge turn off for him.

🧡 The furthest he'll go with hitting you is maybe playing around with some toys or spanking you to be cheeky, but I think any actual pain play would be a no for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

🧡 This man LOVES getting his dick sucked. LOVES IT. And damn does he look good while he's receiving. He'll sit nice and good for you, one hand on your head, not pushing or putting pressure- just there ground himself. Leave bites or kiss marks on his thighs and he may cum right then and there!

🧡 He's skilled at giving as well, though I think he'd prefer receiving. That won't damper his enthusiasm to pleasure you though! He's more than happy to have you mewling underneath him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

🧡 Prefers to take it slow and have fun with it, but is very susceptible to begging. If you ask for more, he'll give you more. He's more than capable of ruining you. Likes to make corny doctor jokes afterwards though.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

🧡 Prefers to take his time, but that's just because it's more fun to him. He's more than willing to drop everything and succumb to some carnal pleasure with you every now and then~

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

🧡 He'll try just about anything once as long as you ask. He makes it really clear too that he's open to any suggestions and won't judge you for them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

🧡 He'll normally stop after one or two rounds depending on how tired you are, but he can push three if you really beg him. He'll never leave you unsatisfied though, regardless of how tired he may be.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

🧡 Toys are his allies!! He'll never see them as competition. He doesn't own any to use on himself, aside from maybe a prop or two for his roleplay stuff, but any and all toys you bring to the relationship, he'd be more than happy to use on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

🧡 He's not too bad, he likes seeing you happy and pleasured more than anything, but every now and then he'll get a bit of a teasing attitude- usually when he's going down on you. There's just something about how cute you look and how in control he is that tickles that part of him that wants to make you whine and beg a little.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

🧡 He's extremely vocal, both in words and in moans. He'll be the loudest when you suck him off, since he's not worried too much about anything else but how you're making him feel. His moans aren't shy, they're very full and pretty.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

🧡 He's a switch, leaning top. Even when he's on bottom I see him more as a power bottom than anything.

🧡 Thinks it's hot when you ride him, but can't help himself and always helps you out, grabbing your hips and thrusting up in time with your movements.

🧡 His inner thighs are pretty sensitive and a good way to get him squirming.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

🧡 Big. I will not apologize to anyone, this man is PACKING. Easily nine inches if not more. He's circumcised and around average thickness for his size. He's a shower not a grower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

🧡 Average if anything. He's a huge flirt, but he's also a busy guy- he's got a fairly normal libido and a good amount of self control. Getting him riled up enough to make him lose control is tough, especially since when you start, he'll tease you right back!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

🧡 Not a big napper, and is used to not getting much sleep, so I'd say you're more likely to fall asleep before him. But if you don't, he likes watching TV before bed and will let you pick what you guys watch.

Thanks so much again for the request, Bap is such an angel!

Have kitty Bap for making it to the end! <3

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Heyy sorryy about the fem!reader issue!!! I read over the rules again😅

But can you do the request with gn!reader?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ candy rule ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹ [og request they’re referring to]

|| aaron hotcner x derek morgan x spencer reid x reader

warnings: reader breaking the rules, lots of talk of food/candy

-

It’s not that you don’t know what the rules are, you do, Reid even wrote them out on a laminated piece of paper so you could reference them whenever you needed. But you’re not great at following them, at least one of them.

Brushing your teeth, cleaning up your toys, holding one of your caregivers hands in public, you can follow all those and most other ones, it’s the candy rule you don’t like. Even before they became your caregivers the boys knew you had a killer sweet tooth, they’d seen how you and Garcia kept bags of treats tucked away in your bags, or how Jj always got you sugary coffee with carmel swirled in, so they knew it’d have to be a rule to cut back.

Spencer’s explained the importance of having a balanced diet and how too much sugar can lead to problems with your teeth or make your stomach upset. Aaron and Derek have also stressed that they know you get a bit more hyper when you’ve had a lot of sugar so they want to avoid the inevitable sugar crash that’d surely come afterwards.

It hasn’t stopped you, not fully. You’ve been careful to cut back and to not keep as many sweets around so you won’t reach for them, but there’s still a stash of chocolates sitting in the front pocket of your to-go bag.

It’s where you’ve pulled candy from as you sit beside Jj on the jets couch, she’s reading a book completely obviously to your rule breaking behavior, so it’s working out nicely for you.

“Ahem.” It’s not til Derek clears his throat that you notice he’s moved from where he was playing cards with Elle and is now standing in front of you. You can only stare up at him, there’s still a wrapper in your hand and half a piece of toffee filled chocolate in your mouth. There’s no getting out of this.

“Hi Der.” You give half a smile that does nothing to smooth over the look on Morgan’s face.

“Is that chocolate?” You can only hand the wrapper over, hoping the ones shoved into the front of your bag go unnoticed.

“You know you’ve already had your candy for the week.” The week rule has worked out nicely, you get a certain amount you can eat whenever you’d like and Aaron usually keeps track that you’re not going through it too fast as you’ll be upset by the end of the week with nothing left. It was finished two days ago and in your defense, the case you guys caught was long and hard so you think you deserve something extra.

“C’mon, let’s go find Hotch and Reid.” Derek sighs and holds his hand out for you which you gratefully take, at least this means he isn’t that mad at you. You’ve all talked over discipline and what breaking the rules mean in depth, none of your caregivers wanting to accidentally upset you or do something you’re not comfortable with.

“Hey sweetheart.” Aaron smiles up from his place beside Spencer, both of them sliding their respected books onto the small table as they take in Derek’s expression that reads less than impressed.

“What happened?” Hotch asks outright, he’s never one to dance around topics. Derek’s hand grips yours a little tighter, nodding for you to explain but also offering that extra bit of assurance that everything’s going to be okay.

“Was eatin’ candy that I wasn’t supposed to.” It’s more mumbled than you had hoped for but neither of the boys need you to repeat yourself, they simply nod then look over to Morgan.

“I think after this case we can go on easy on them, but we’re definitely taking those chocolates out of your bag. Mhm I saw those too.” Your mouth falls ajar at Derek’s head shake, not angry, a little teasing if you’re honest, but you know those candies will never be seen again.

“You wanna go with Der to clean out your bag or stay with us?” Reid asks and while you’re sure you’ll sit down and talk about this all once you’re home, you find comfort in not being bombarded with questions or yelling, and you’re able to breathe easy when Hotch lifts you to sit between him and Spencer.

[sassyfrassboss]

Apparently Meghan goes ballistic when Archie and Lili get even the slightest mark or dirt on them that their nannies are constantly bathing them both and changing their clothes repeatedly throughout the day so that Meghan won’t go off at them AND the kids. My cousin actually used to work for them in an area without a NDA but now works for a much better family in the area with much better connections…

The kids are only allowed in a certain area of the house alone, they are not allowed to eat or drink in certain areas of the house, the dogs are not allowed in the house and any instances that either child or dog has been it is just for show and kids aren’t allowed to play with any of the dogs.

The kids follow a strict diet of everything being free - vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, nut-free fat-free and organic foods are only to be given to them. Lollipops are sugar free and organic, Archie is said to hate them but eats them because they’re candy and fun looking. None of them get anything sticky or that can spill or melt like ice cream, that whole story about Archie in the car getting picked up was utter baloney.

At school as well Archie freaks out about getting dirty or doing anything messy. He likes getting out in the garden at home but the whole Archie and his chicken story is also baloney, it’s just Meghan wanting to compete with how outdoorsy the Wales kids are and how they have animals. Archie and Lili are only allowed to be around the chickens if it’s photo-op time. But back to Archie at school, he doesn’t like sharing and steals other kids lunch items from them because it’s something he wants and looks better than the gruel he gets from home.

Meghan is desperately wanting Archie to be known as Prince while at school but the board and heads disagreed but all of his items have HRH Prince Archie labelled on them and it’s also known that Meghan doesn’t allow him to have any friends that she hasn’t approved and won’t allow him to play with them. Archie doesn’t talk about home often though and doesn’t speak about Lili, and neither Harry or Meghan pick him up from school, it is a burly big man who chauffeurs the children and their nannies around.

Harry does spend a lot of time away from home and Meghan has a lot of parties, when this happens Archie and Lili are sent to the cottage to sleep and be. When Meghan is drunk she is combative and she is angry so staff usually lock the gates and don’t let her out the estate.

Doria is such a bitch and is literally so degrading towards everyone even Harry and the kids. She is no happy go lucky grandmother and like Meghan feels Archie and Lili should be seen and not heard and basically be perfect statues nonstop that do not misbehave or not do what they are told. The whole salt and pepper together is the tip of the iceberg as if Archie and now Lili don’t do anything exactly how Meghan wants, and Doria wants then they are punished. But it’s also staff too, a maid was fired because she didn’t clean exactly how Meghan wanted. Nannies are belittled and basically abused by Meghan and work basically 24/7 every day.

My cousin says that Meghan has got no friends in Montecito and she has become Public Enemy Number One because she won’t stop flirting with husbands, this is one of the reasons why David Foster doesn’t want anything to do with her. Meghan apparently had something going on with a Russian man who is linking them up with South Africa, interviewing Putin etc. Nacho’s wife hates her too btw, pwife as Delfina says now means puta wife.

HOT TEA ALERT

None of this really surprises me, except for the kids having to be tidy and clean because there for a while Meghan looked like a hot mess every appearance she made...

[marvelmusing]

Making A Splash

Pairing: Mermaid!Darklina x Human!Fem!Reader

Summary: Aleksander and Alina are well known as the most powerful Grisha, mermaid-like creatures with extraordinary powers. When you’re hired by the man who has captured them, you do everything you can to help them return to the sea.

Warnings [18+]: smut, fingering, Alina is innocently handsy with the reader and doesn’t know how to change into her human form without understanding human anatomy so the reader offers to help her learn (Aleksander helps)

My Masterlist

Lunch breaks are always spent with Alina. She likes it when you bring sushi, since the little morsels are small enough to drop between the gaps in the net that covers the top of her tank.

Her happy little clicks and splashes with her tail bring a smile to your face and you’re glad she seems to like you despite what your colleagues are like. Most of the people you work with are only here for the money, or because they owe Mr Lanstov money themselves.

Aleksander prefers something simpler, so you usually bring him some dried herring whenever you visit him. He never eats in front of you, so quite often you leave immediately after dropping the fish into his tank.

Mr Lantsov would probably have you killed if he found out you were giving them anything other than their strict diet. But you know they’re miserable in their separate tanks, so you do what you can to give them some sort of comfort.

The old man had spent a lot of his family’s fortune to locate and capture these two creatures. They are known as Grisha, and bear a strong resemblance to mermaids or sirens from human mythology. Though the Grisha are even rarer.

They have incredible abilities. Aleksander can summon shadows whilst Alina can manipulate sunlight. However, their powers only work when they are in saltwater. The artificial filtered water in the tanks here has reduced them to nothing but an average sea creature.

Alina had been visibly distressed for weeks after her separation from her partner, whilst Aleksander had simmered with murderous rage until someone strayed too close during a tank cleaning session and were claimed as his victim.

If you hadn’t intervened it’s likely that Aleksander could have been killed by Lantsov’s men that day.

Brought on as an academic informant due to your knowledge of mythology, you had stayed to try and ensure that Aleksander and Alina wouldn’t be harmed, though you feel as though you are failing at that a little more each day as the weeks go by.

“Hello, Lina,” you greet her with a small smile.

Deemed much more placid than her partner, the net that had covered the top of her tank since the beginning had been removed yesterday. Toeing your shoes off, you tentatively hang one of your legs down into the water of her tank, then the other one.

She immediately swims over to you, placing both of her cold wet hands on the top of your knees. The simple cotton sundress you’re wearing means the cool water sends a shiver down your spine as you move your legs lightly through the water of her tank.

“Hi, sweet girl,” you say softly as she rests her chin over one of her hands.

Pale white tail swishing happily through the water, she smiles up at you. The artificial lights above you cast a shimmering rainbow of colours over her scales. Her skin isn’t the soft caramel colour it was when she first arrived here and you can’t help but worry about her lack of sunlight.

Water droplets roll down her face, slowly soaking the hem of your dress but you don’t mind. A few strands of hair cling to her forehead, which you smooth away gently.

Even though it was only yesterday that the net was removed, Alina seems very comfortable with physical contact from you. At first, you had been worried that she would be cautious or maybe even violent without the net preventing her from touching anyone.

But with you she seems rather affectionate. The thought of her being touch-starved, missing Aleksander, has an ache settling into your chest.

“I brought you some treats.”

Her head perks up as you reach over towards the small cloth bag you had brought with you. Pulling out a little plastic box, you open it up and laugh softly when she uses your knees as leverage to peer up into the box.

She grins happily when she spies a collection of her favourite types of sushi. With her hands being used to keep herself above water, you feed her a few pieces from your own hand.

Once she’s finished she nuzzles her face into the palm of your hand, licking whatever residue from the sushi remains on your fingers.

She seems very curious about your legs. Her cold hands hold tight onto your calves as she retreats into the water to examine the rest of your legs which are submerged.

Her fingers are delicate as they trace over your toes and when she touches the sole you flinch at the ticklish feeling. She re-emerges at the surface of the water, tilting her head questioningly at you.

She brushes her fingers over the same point and you laugh and squirm away from the feeling which draws a pleased giggle from her. It’s a sweet sound that makes your smile soften.

Then she nudges her way between your thighs, placing both her hands on each of them. She smoothes her way upwards to the hem of your dress, then she slips them underneath the fabric. A frown creases at her brows as your skin warms with a flustered blush.

You don’t know how to tell her to stop her exploration, not when she seems so delighted by what she’s found. She tilts her head, a sweet confusion in her eyes as she looks at you, her hands close to the edge of your panties.

When her hand reaches between your thighs to touch your pantie-clad mound she frowns at the feeling of fabric restricting her discovery. Embarrassment flares in your chest as she tilts her head with a small wrinkle at her nose and you realise she’s smelling your arousal.

She moves to duck her head under the skirt of your dress and you press your fingers against her forehead to stop her. The frown on her face deepens and an adorable pout puckers at her lips at being denied the chance to look at you.

For a long moment you stare at one another, your chest heaving and skin flushed as she paws gently at your panties in protest.

The bell on the wall buzzes, signalling the end of lunch and shattering whatever tension had been rising between the two of you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Alina.”

Unfortunately, you’re overrun with work for the rest of the afternoon, meaning that you don’t get the time to see Aleksander like you usually would. During your afternoon you like to visit him and tell him how Alina is. Although it does mean that you stay late, so you decide to walk by his tank on your way out.

The warehouse is quiet, aside from the whirring of the tank filters, as it appears everyone else has gone home for the night. Once you open the door to Aleksander’s area of the warehouse you freeze before descending into a panic.

Aleksander’s tank is empty.

They’ve done something to him. They’ve taken him away. He might have been sold to some illegal breeding programme or a psycho private collector. Maybe he attacked another worker and they had killed him for it without you knowing.

Horrific images spill into your mind. Lantsov might have his body cut up and sold to a high scale restaurant or sent to some specialist taxidermist to become a decoration for his dining room.

Too consumed by your fears, you don’t realise that you’re shaking as you stare into the empty tank.

Alina. You need to get her out of here. She’ll be heartbroken when she realises Aleksander is gone and your own heart breaks at the thought. Maybe you can find him, before it’s too late.

Then a sound catches your attention and you spin around quickly.

There’s a man standing a few paces away from you. He’s wearing a dark shirt and grey shorts which you recognise as some of the spare clothes that belong to the divers who clean out the tanks. But he isn’t one of the divers. His features are recognisable even without the black tail.

“Aleksander.”

He nods slowly. You gape at him. Mere seconds ago you were picturing his grisly death and now he’s here in front of you. Standing in front of you.

“You’re alive. You’ve got legs,” you stammer.

“Yes.”

Stumbling backwards a little, your jaw drops open.

“You can talk?”

“Yes.”

Adrenaline floods through your body, making your head dizzy and anxiety prickle over your skin even as relief settles in your chest. He’s alive.

“All this time, you’ve been able to understand me?”

He nods again.

“Thank you for looking after Alina.”

You shrug lightly, still overwhelmed by everything that’s happening.

“It’s the least I could do.” There’s a small pause before you say, “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

He nods.

“I overheard some discussions regarding experiments on Alina. I can’t let that happen.”

Horror runs through you at the thought of the scientists who work here experimenting on Alina.

“Let me help you.”

“Where’s Alina?”

Moving towards another door, you push it open.

“This way.”

He follows you immediately.

The two of you are quiet for a moment, before you ask,

“Have you been able to change your form this whole time?”

He nods slowly.

“I learnt how to several hundred years ago. But Alina has never changed into her human form before.”

“That explains her fascination with my legs,” you remark, then blush at the sight of his mouth quirking into a small smirk.

“Grisha are visual learners,” he remarks. The blush on your cheeks spreads down your body as you see his gaze lower to your bare legs. “And I can certainly see the appeal.”

There’s a flip in your stomach at his words and the sight of his white teeth biting down on his lower lip momentarily.

Alina all but leaps from the surface of the water when she sees Aleksander. He remains on the platform at the edge of the tank as she loops her arms around his neck.

“Sasha!” She nuzzles her face against the hollow of his throat. “You came for me.”

He places his hand on the space between her shoulder blades, pressing her into his body as they cling to one another.

“Of course I did, milaya. We’re getting out of here tonight.” He leans back to look at her, iridescent tail swaying in the water. “But first you need some legs.”

Her eyes widen.

“Sasha, I’ve never- I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I believe in you.”

He gestures lightly towards you.

“You’ve seen her legs up close before, haven’t you?” Alina nods. “Do you think you can change form based on them?”

She shakes her head with a frown.

“I don’t know what’s between them.”

There’s a pause and Aleksander blinks at her.

“What?”

“She wouldn’t let me look there.”

At that, you look away with burning cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” she asks you. Aleksander chuckles softly.

“Nothing, Alya. Humans are just rather modest when it comes to their intimate parts.”

When you manage to look back at her, she looks embarrassed, her dark eyes widened.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Alina,” you reassure her shyly.

Inhaling shakily for a moment, you turn your attention back to her and ask,

“Would you- Do you need to see?”

Aleksander turns to you sharply.

“You don’t need to,” he insists in a low voice that makes you shiver.

Instead of answering, you tug your panties down from your hips, allowing them to drop from underneath the skirt of your dress onto the floor. Then you nudge your shoes from your feet.

“Would you hold onto me, so that I don’t fall in?” you ask him.

He nods.

“Of course.” He settles down onto the edge of the platform, his legs hanging into the water. Then he gestures to you. “Come here.”

He situates you into his lap, your back pressed against his chest, chin tucked into the crook of your neck whilst he hooks your legs over each of his so that you’re spread wide for Alina to settle herself between them from her place in the tank.

“You’re sure about this?” he murmurs against your ear.

When you nod, he pulls the hem of your dress upwards, bunching the fabric around your waist to reveal your lower half entirely to Alina. She places her cold hands on each of your thighs and you shiver at the feeling of being so exposed.

His hand squeezes your hip lightly.

“Try not to squirm.”

“Sorry,” you mumble, biting down on your lip.

He breathes out a small laugh.

“Like a little fish in a net,” he teases.

Alina’s hands wander experimentally over your thighs, squeezing at the soft flesh and pinching the muscles there gently to test the texture. Once again, you squirm which draws your attention to Aleksander’s growing hardness against the curve of your ass.

He tightens his hold on you, effectively pinning you down onto his body and you whimper. Alina glances up in concern.

“Don’t worry, Alya,” Aleksander soothes her. “Some humans are a little sensitive, that’s all. Keep going. You’re getting to the best part.”

She parts your folds curiously with a glimmer in her eyes as she stares down at your cunt which you can feel throbbing under such innocent scrutiny.

“Pretty,” she murmurs softly. Aleksander hums in agreement. “Why’s it wet, Sasha?”

“Oh fuck,” you whisper under your breath.

“That happens when humans are aroused,” he informs her lightly as he takes one hand and traces his finger over your nipple.

The weight of his gaze on you is heavy and you drop your head back against his shoulder and close your eyes to escape the dizzying mixture of arousal and embarrassment running through your body.

Aleksander releases his hold on your hip, snaking his hand down to draw Alina’s attention to a particular area. When his finger circles over your clit, you gasp and buck your hips forward.

“This here is a very sensitive spot,” he tells her. “But touching it correctly can provide a lot of pleasure, as you can see.”

The blush that warms under your skin is almost painful with the humiliation of being held open like this for Alina to watch. Aleksander’s amusement makes these feelings even more intense as they bloom in your abdomen.

Then he moves down to your entrance which is aching for some friction. He dips his fingers into you slightly and you provide him with a soft moan.

“Oh you’re just dripping for us, aren’t you?” he muses against your ear. Then he talks down to Alina, “You can slide your finger in here, Alya.”

She slips her finger into you tentatively, curling it in a exploratory manner that makes you writhe in Aleksander’s lap. He wraps his arm around your waist quickly, stroking one of your thighs with his free hand to soothe you into remaining still for Alina.

“That’s it, good girl.”

You’re not sure which one of you he’s praising but it threads through your body like warm honey - thick and heavy.

Aleksander grasps at your breasts, nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck as he continues to instruct Alina.

“Slide it in and out, Alya love.”

His hand on your thigh returns to your clit, rubbing light circles there that makes you moan louder with pleasure. Chest heaving, you lose all coherency as you succumb to their touches.

“Do you think you can cum for us?” he asks, mouthing leisurely over your neck and threading his hand through your hair. “Do you think you can show Alina what it’s like to cum?”

Nodding desperately, you cant your hips forwards, chasing your pleasure as they work in tandem to bring you to the peak of your pleasure. A broken gasp escapes your lips as you cling to Aleksander, his teeth scraping lightly over the space beneath your ear, and you climax suddenly.

He murmurs soft praises against your skin and directs Alina on how to lengthen your pleasure without overwhelming you, but it all feels so distant. After a few moments, he guides your unfocused gaze back to meet his dark eyes.

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly.

“Good,” you answer in a sigh.

Alina licks at her fingers, swallowing down your release eagerly with her dark eyes widened in excitement and awe.

Aleksander smiles, leaning forward to kiss your lips for the first time. At the edge of your awareness, there’s the sound of splashing water, but you’re too consumed by the firm motion of his mouth working against yours to pay it any mind.

Then a set of chilly fingers hook delicately under your chin, pulling you away from his kiss to meet another pair of lips. A delighted shiver rolls down your spine at the feeling of Alina’s plush lips against yours, particularly when she takes your lower lip into her mouth and sucks against on the sensitive skin.

A soft moan bubbles in your throat and she grins at you, dark eyes alive with mischief. Then you look down to see her legs. Covered in water droplets that roll over her muscular thighs, her skin is the same warm caramel as the rest of her and you wonder whether she tastes as sweet as she looks.

“As much as I would love to continue this,” Aleksander says smoothly, a keen glimmer in his eyes as he watches you and Alina. “We should get moving.”

Clarity returns to you, and you nod hurriedly as you stand.

“I’ll go get some clothes for Alina.”

With damp feet, you head down the steps, away from Alina’s tank to find some of your own spare clothes that you keep in case you ever ended up falling into one of the tanks. They won’t fit her perfectly, but it will do for now.

Aleksander has his arms looped around her waist when you return to them and you hand over the bundle of clothing you had retrieved.

Drying down your feet with a towel, you slip your shoes back on before remembering your missing panties. With a frown, you search for them unsuccessfully until Aleksander speaks.

“We’re ready.”

Deciding to abandon your search, you nod.

“Let’s go.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Five months later…

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Aleksander wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Currently mixing ingredients together by hand, you aren’t free to return his affection without smearing mess all over him.

“This smells divine,” he murmurs. The scent of salty sea air clings to his skin. “What are you making?”

“Fish cakes. Where’s Alina?”

“She’s just drying off.”

“Did you have fun?”

He nods slowly with a smile.

“We did.”

This little cottage by the sea allows you to live in peace, free from any other humans, while Aleksander and Alina can return to the ocean whenever they wish.

He traces his nose over the mating bite on your neck, the tangible proof of the bond between the three of you. Aleksander always seems much more carefree after returning from a good swim.

“Did you miss us?” he asks teasingly.

Warmth spreads over your body as you focus on separating the mixture you’ve created into small circular portions.

“I always miss you, Sasha.”

He presses a gentle kiss to your heated cheek.

“Ulla should arrive once the summer begins. She will know what to do.”

Aleksander’s half-sister is what humans would consider a sea witch. He’s certain she will be able to help you find another form to shift into so that you can be with Aleksander and Alina when they return to the sea.

Alina hops up onto the kitchen counter, dipping her finger into your bowl to retrieve some of the leftover mixture. Being from the sea means they both eat fish raw or cooked, and she hums in delight at the taste.

Over the last few months, you’ve become rather creative when it comes to your lovers unique diets and tastes. Cooking for them is one of your favourite things. Aleksander is very fond of your fish pie while Alina will eat anything that is bite sized.

“Would you help me cover these in breadcrumbs, Alya?”

She nods eagerly, bounding down beside you and rolling up the baggy sleeves of Aleksander’s shirt that she’s wearing. She rarely ever wears her own clothes. A glance down at her feet reveals that once again she’s stolen your socks and you doubt she’s wearing anything underneath her shirt.

Aleksander is more at ease wearing human clothes, and you can feel the comforting warmth of his woollen jumper against your back.

They have arrived home early today, you had been expecting them to turn up just before dinner. As a result, you’re wearing comfortable sweatpants, a small vest, and one of Aleksander’s cardigans. The thin golden chain around your neck is there as always, the glimmering pearl at the centre was a gift from Alina.

The contentment you feel with them blossoms in your chest as Alina tells you excitedly about the baby sea turtles they had seen today while Aleksander occasionally makes his own additions to the story from his place behind you as he continues to provide affectionate touches.

This life couldn’t be more different from what you had planned for yourself, but you’ll be eternally grateful that these two beings swam into your world.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

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[insane4fandoms]

As thanks for our little chat earlier, here are some random headcanons on my EgoPats! Talking with friends always seems to get my creative juices flowing.

Caliban doesn’t have quite as big of a sweet tooth as irl Matt does, but he still appreciates some sugary stuff along with savory stuff (i.e. his and Murdock’s hit-targets). His favorite treats (aside from Diet Coke, because duh. He’s an Egopat, lol) are typically gummy alligators or gummy sharks. Yes, he always makes sure to start by biting the gummy’s head off, because that’s just how you eat gummies, okay? (This was actually inspired by that Gummy Food vs. Real Food Challenge on GTLive; it’s one of my favorite episodes, so many hilarious moments.) 

Penn is pretty interested in Vulture Culture. Yeah, his fossil-hunting already plays a huge part in that, but he’s just sort of fascinated by the skulls/bones of modern animals as well as those of prehistoric creatures. (Bonus points if the bones happen to have been painted for whatever reason.) Granted, they’d have to be ethically sourced for him to collect them, because he’s nice and conscious like that. 

Some of LeviathanPat’s traits/abilities are more instinctual than “at-will.” The biggest example of this: an extra eye that can sprout on his forehead, larger and darker than his primaries. While he can choose to grow and retract extra eyes (just like he can with extra mouths, limbs, etc.), this particular forehead eye only opens up when his emotions are running high, or when he’s in a serious situation. I guess you could say that the forehead eye is, in itself, a type of Sixth Sense. (Though, as a cosmic abomination, L.P. definitely has way more than six senses, lol. Also, this was inspired by one of the ways you’ve drawn him in the past, so…thanks!)

Penn loves gemstones and minerals just as much as fossils. Sure, his career is paleontology, but he just really likes shiny/colorful things on the side. He’ll occasionally keep pieces of fossil for his personal collection, but only on occasion, since, y’know, museums need fossils for their exhibits. So, gemstones are a little easy for that kinda stuff. (And, with that first headcanon in mind: have you ever seen that art trend where crystals are attached to or even grown on cleaned animal skulls? If not, they’re all over Etsy, so, you’re welcome, lol. But yeah, Penn would LOVE to get one of those.)

Along with helping Yancy out with musical stuff, Ozzie has a love for drawing. It’s just something he’s been doing since he was little, though he’s currently much better at pencil-work than painting. 

Patty does a variety of things in his off-time from dancing, but one of his favorites is sculpting. He’s had quite a lot of practice, but he usually tends to just make small pieces for decoration. This includes little clay charms for necklaces (yeah, he definitely made one as a present for Delux one time, lol. I’m thinking maybe…a little black fox? Obviously Delux can’t wear it when he’s working for fear of losing it on the streets or at a client’s place, but we both know he’d still appreciate it.) 

Despite being a terrifying outer monstrosity, LeviathanPat is sort of claustrophobic. This is due to all the time he was trapped in the underground tomb that Penn and Illinois accidentally freed him from. He usually spends a lot of time hunting outside at night (because of his whole window schtick), but if he ever finds an opportunity to actually go inside a place, then it’ll have to be good and spacious for him to be comfortable. (Along with his shapeshifting skills, LeviathanPat is also capable of sizeshifting, which he can use in a pinch. Though, due to his pride, he’d never even consider turning smaller than a human, lol). 

Ahhhh all of these are great!

Some of these headcanons are not much different than mine, you also definitely got me to rewatch the gummy vs real video, always makes me laugh to see Matt and Steph freak out over the gummy spider lmao

Here’s some small headcanons I had because why not

Penn would absolutely be a skull collector, but most importantly he would be a cat. Illinois would be chilling on the couch one day and Penn would jump on him and ominously hand him a deer skull and smile before walking away, leaving Illinois to sit there dumbfounded and a little scared of where the hell Penn got that.

I’d imagine Patty sleeping in the most pretzel like positions ever to be seen from humanity lol. Imagine being his roommate and walking into the room to see him sleep in a way like he’s posing for a renaissance painting.

Patty would also be a god at drag makeup. Like give this man a makeup palette and he’ll go face your face the vision of god.

I think Ozzy would be (and forced to be) Yancy’s costume designer when he wants to do a musical number. I like the idea of a brute muscle having the most patient hobby like art. I also think painting is much harder personally, but with a bit of good behavior, he’ll probably learn to paint watercolor.

Caliban, my man, would 100 percent horde all of the Diet Coke from others. Bro does NOT like to share when it comes to his treats. Even R.D. would make Caliban hesitate to give up his precious soda, but one look from her and he’ll melt and gladly hand one over. Azalea and Murdock on the other hand they’ll fight like cats for one. (Mad would get his head chopped off before he could even ask)

Now LeviathanPat, I got plans for him, but one funny headcanon is that while his shapeshifting is effective and sometimes in his advantage, he definitely got ran over one too many times by a random car. Not in his eldritch form, but maybe around like a bear size or deer when he wanders.

He also hates hunting season as he was also mistaken for a deer one too many times, and it was getting tiring or either killing or scaring off the hunters. I would also agree on LeviathanPat being claustrophobic due to him being trapped in the tomb, but one thing he may not find unnerving?

Possession, he’ll just have to find the perfect host to leech on…

And he had already laid his eyes upon him the moment the tomb was opened.

[fawnandshadows]

How You Get The Girl

Chapter 9

Chapter 8

AO3

Warnings: Language

CURRENT DAY

Elain stared at the image. 

And for once, she was more concerned about the picture itself than the amount of likes and the comments and the impact this would have on her career — not that she was even career oriented, but this time she found herself caring more about what (who) was in the picture than anything else. 

She was excited. 

Excited to have this small connection to Azriel. This bond that was new and delicate and burgeoning and was for the sole intent of her happiness. A connection with another person that didn’t revolve around her status, her money, her anything that wasn’t her. 

It was as exciting as it was frightening. 

Because what if Azriel didn’t want everything that came with that connection? The lack of privacy, the invasive questions, the total abandonment of normalcy. 

Elain chewed her lip as she looked at the picture. The glint of his piercing and the cigarette tucked behind his ear. The small, small smile on his mouth that was nothing more than a tiny upturn of his lips — his dimple hidden, not for the rest of the world to see. His curly hair was more unruly than usual. His brown hand on her pale skin, so close to her neck, so large. 

All day Elain worked on moving herself in. Focusing on her clothes and wearables before opening any of the boxes with things and clutter in them. 

She stayed in her pajamas since she didn’t have her mother hovering over her shoulder, ensuring that she would be “presentable” if company came over and making sure that every hair, every crease, every everything was in order. 

It was freeing to stay in her little flannel shorts and cami all day. 

Dinner time came around and Elain still had the apartment to herself. The remnants from the party were mostly cleaned up ,— Elain wondered who she had to thank for that. 

The brick walls were bare, and a huge window overlooked the park underneath in a secluded part of the city. Elain thought about closing the currents for the sake of privacy, but it was such a beautiful day that she didn’t want to block out any light. 

There was already a time where Elain had left her curtain open and someone snuck pictures of her and sold them to a tabloid. She was just sitting at her vanity, doing her makeup, but she felt so slimy and dirty afterwards. She showered endlessly after that and only felt clean after a week had passed.

So, she decided to take a chance and left the curtain open so the sun could shine through the penthouse as she drifted back to the kitchen and started pulling out ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. It felt like another small act of rebellion, a way to stick it to the strict regimented diet that her mother always forced on her. 

Halfway through the batch, when Elain was bending over to take the cookies out of the oven, Feyre walked through the door. 

“Those smell amazing,” She beamed, toeing off her shoes. “I could smell them from down the hall.” Nyx was perched on her hip, smiling at his aunt and clapping his hands. 

Elain immediately dropped the cookie sheet and rushed over to grab her nephew from her sister, cuddling the small warm body to her chest and smacking a kiss on his chubby cheek. He immediately snuggled into her embrace. 

“Help yourself,” Elain said, nodding to the cookies that were cooling. “I baked a lot, so I’ll bring some downstairs when they’re all done.” 

“I think Azriel is the only one down there,” Feyre noted, picking up a cookie and munching on it. “Mor has the day off, right?”

“Yeah,” Elain confirmed. “I said I was just going to move in today, so she could relax before my shoot this weekend.” 

Feyre nodded and sat at the counter, taking another cookie. 

“How are you feeling today? After everything?” Her blue eyes looked at Elain kindly as she brought up a thumb to wipe away a crumb. 

“Pretty good,” Elain handed Feyre back her son so she could finish her baking. “I talked to Azriel a bit, and he’s ok with everything. But I’ve mostly been ignoring it.” 

She busied herself with her work so Feyre wouldn’t notice the blush twinging her cheeks. 

“Az does love his privacy,” Feyre noted, a touch of concern lighting up her voice. “And mom’s been calling me all day at the studio. And she hounded me for answers when I picked Nyx up this morning,” Feyre sighed “She’ll probably show up here any minute now if she can’t get a hold of you.” 

Elain deflated a bit at the words because her sister was right. Her mother would only let herself be ignored for so long. 

“I texted her this morning, but I’ll send another today.” 

—— ——

Elain stood outside of security’s apartment, just two floors beneath the penthouse, and willed her heart to beat at a healthy pace as she raised her hand to knock on the door. 

She stood in the hallway in the same flannel shorts and tank top that she had been wearing all day, and she prayed that Azriel opened the door quickly. Elain didn’t even think to grab her sweatshirt before flying out the door. 

She just…wanted to see Azriel. 

The door creaked open to reveal a disheveled Azriel. Gray sweatpants hung low at his hips and a faded, wrinkle t-shirt hung from his muscular frame, and his black hair stuck up in every direction. 

Her heart stopped as she took in his tired eyes. 

“Were you sleeping?” Elain asked, taking a step back and clutching the tupperware container tighter. “I can come back. I don’t want to disturb you,” She pushed the container full of cookies towards him. “These are for you.” 

A dark hand gingerly took the cookies from her as he opened the door a bit wider.

“Want to come in?” Azriel offered, stepping to the side. 

“If you don’t mind?” Elain took a hesitant step inside. “I really didn’t mean to bother you. I can leave.” 

Azriel shook his head and motioned for her to come inside. 

“Chocolate chip?” Azriel asked, closing the door as Elain stepped inside. 

“Your favorite.” Elain said softly, her eyes taking in the surprisingly neat apartment. She wasn’t sure why she thought it would be messy, maybe it was just the thought of the four of them rooming together in such close quarters, but there was no way Rhysand would tolerate a mess. 

“You know my favorite cookie?” Azriel asked, leading her to the breakfast bar and in their kitchen. 

“Of course,” Elain said, sitting on the stool Azriel held out for her. “I know everyones. But I wanted you to think of this as down payment for the next tattoo. And they’ll be plenty more. Promise.” 

For some reason Elain held out her pinky to him. 

Azriel looked at it for a moment before wrapping his warm pinky around hers. 

Elain bit her lip, thinking of the secret thoughts that were tossing themselves around her head. 

“There was something else that I wanted to ask you, but I’m not sure how you’d react. And I don’t want to pressure you. Or make you feel uncomfortable.” Her breath was unsteady. 

“I don’t do face tattoos.” 

Elain felt a grin tug at her lips as she took in their intertwined pinkies.

“I was thinking about last night,” She chewed on her bottom lip, slowly taking her hand back. She raised her feet to rest on her stool and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Do you think it’s weird that I don’t like head?” 

Azriel froze. 

Elain’s eyes were fixed to the container of cookies in front of them. 

“We all have our preferences, and we aren’t weird for liking or disliking certain acts,” Azriel said slowly, thoughtfully. “But, I would say the issue was with your partner. Not you.” 

Elain waited a beat before saying, “It always felt awkward. Even when it was more enjoyable, I always felt slightly uncomfortable. You don’t think that’s odd?” 

She could feel Azriel’s gentle gaze on her. “No,” Azriel said softly, not a hint of judgment in his voice. “I think you were with the wrong person.” 

Elain nodded slowly, biding her time before saying, “I was thinking that was a possibility as well. And it’s hard for me to meet people I feel comfortable and safe with, you know?” Elain took a deep, shaky breath. “And I was home alone all day and I kept thinking about who I know and who I feel safe with. Because I want to enjoy sex. I like writing it and I like reading it, so I always felt like I should enjoy it, you know? Anyway, I was thinking about the people in my life and if there was anyone I would feel comfortable…exploring sex with?” Her voice turned high and slightly squeaky. “And I could only think of one person,” Her brown eyes met his intense, bright hazel gaze. “And that person was you.” 

-------

tagging: @123moiaussi @fuckmelifesucks @thefangirlofhp@sakurakittypeach @nikethestatue @tswaney17 @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @feyredarlinq@duskwhisperer @nyxreads @rinadragomir @secretpuppyflower@captainbrucebanner @ultadverb @irisesforelain @shedoessoshedoes  @magnolia-blossom87 @sheenabeene @nivem565  @casuallivi @rhysiedarling@elain99-blog @athena-85 @swankii-art-teacher @reverie-tales @jujugirlfrombookstore @shadowflorecita@shy-violet-soul @thisloveseternal

[veterantrainerray]

For the folks worried about my retired team members:

Wright’s doin’ much better. He’s never gonna recover fully, but he ain’t in pain. And he don’t mind stickin’ to work around the ranch instead of battlin’. Most of what he does is help transport crates. We got a lot of raw material that needs to be moved around the ranch. Granite and feed for the Rhyhorn herds to munch on, grass seed after a stray Fire-type starts a prairie fire, that sort of thing. He’s able to cross the entire property with a full crate in around seven minutes, so he’s saved a few projects when we forgot somethin’. For reference, the truck needs ‘round 45 minutes to make the same trip with an empty bed. His wind attacks are also precise enough that he helps cut and trim the plant life around the ranch. Most days he’s hanging around the twins in case they need him, but he likes to fly laps around the ranch to keep an eye on everything too.

Piezo’s becomin’ something of a local celebrity among the Galar rangers since she retired from battling too. I’m told they ain’t used to havin’ raw power like hers on their side since most of ‘em don’t raise partners of their own. Bein’ able to direct all of that to move metal at a distance lets her intervene in situations most could only try to clean up after the fact. She still spends the quiet days here on the ranch, though.

Old Spooky and my Slowking are fast friends, and I swear the two of ‘em are havin’ philosophy conversations while they do mundane tasks ‘round the ranch. I don’t ever ask ‘em to, they just tend to find maintenance tasks like organizing and cleaning that needs doin’ and do it because they can. They ain’t ever far when they’re needed either. I can’t help but appreciate their hard work, even if they don’t think anything of it themselves.

So my partners are all doin’ well, and have fully adjusted to the quiet life here. I’ve adjusted their diets and care routines to account for the lifestyle changes and they’re all in good health. And I still get an occasional apology letter from Bede ‘bout what happened to Wright. I keep tellin’ him the fault’s mine, but I guess the kid’s got a gentle heart under it all.