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Hello gang!

How are you on this fine day? Hope you are fine. Well today is my birthday!!! 🎉 I wanted to know how the mercs would celebrate with us. I'm fine you writing any merc so go crazy 😼

Anyways, take care and remember to stay hydrated 😈

Happy Birthday, Anon! I hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I hope you enjoy these headcanons!

Mercenaries Celebrate Your Birthday

Scout

- Probably forgot it was your birthday. But when someone else (or you) remind him, he’s immediately excited.

- Whips out one of his Ma’s birthday cake recipes from when he was a little kid. It’s a simple cake, just one layer with some frosting slathered on top, but it’s still pretty good!

- As for gifts, he gets you something a few days later. He’ll get you some snacks that you love, but are difficult to find in New Mexico. It’s not much, but he still hopes you’ll enjoy it.

Soldier

- Soldier is insanely good at remembering important dates, including birthdays.

- Instead of the usual trumpet-blaring and shouting the USA national anthem to wake everyone up in the morning, he’s yell-singing “Happy Birthday” at the top of his lungs

- Gives you a strong pat on the back and congratulates you on another year of fighting the good fight. Now go forth and beat the crap out of whatever the next year of your life is going to throw at you!

- At the end of the day, you find a box in your room with a note attached that simply says “Use it well”. Inside, you find a worn, but still very sharp shovel. Perfect for beating people over the head with.

Pyro

- They absolutely remember your birthday, and they are very excited about it.

- They make you some cupcakes that are only slightly overcooked, as well as covered in mountains of frosting and sprinkles. They give them to you while mumbling to the tune of “happy birthday”.

- As for presents, they like giving lots of small trinkets. Whether you like pretty rocks, silly pens, trading cards, plushies, miniature figures, anything of that sort. They’ll always be able to find a bunch of small things you’ll like!

Demoman

- He gets pretty excited when he realizes your birthday is coming up. When he was a kid, he never really got to celebrate his birthday all that much due to spending his childhood an orphan. But now he loves celebrating them regardless of whose birthday it is.

- Sets up a bunch of things at a good bar near the base. There’s darts, pool, foosball, beer pong, and of course, plenty of drinks and good food to go around. He makes sure the whole team is there, celebrating with you and having a good time.

- You mean a lot to him, and he wants to make sure you have a birthday you’ll always look back fondly on.

Heavy

- He remembers birthdays very well, as they are important in his family. To Heavy, you are close enough to be considered family.

- Back home, birthdays were often celebrated with lots of food and good drinks, and he’ll do the same for you. He gets together with a few of the other members of the team that you’re close with, and they all work to make a lot of rich, filling dishes that he knows you’ll enjoy.

- He also sets up Poker with the entire team. Jokes are made, drinks are had, money is won and lost, and it’s a great time for all.

- You are surrounded by friends, and you are loved. That is the best gift he can possibly give to you.

Engineer

- He knew your birthday was coming up, and he made sure to prepare ahead of time.

- He works for most of the day, so you don’t see him much until the evening. He cooks your favorite meal for dinner, complete with delicious side dishes that complement it perfectly. He makes sure to make more than enough for there to be leftovers, allowing you to enjoy the food for the next couple of days, as well.

- If you have any creative hobbies (or have been wanting to start a new hobby) he will gift you the supplies needed for it, as well as tools of his own making. He built them himself with specific measurements and materials to best suit you.

Medic

- Always remembers birthdays. Being the team’s doctor, it’s important for him to remember these sorts of details!

- He wouldn’t be able to do much, due to the fact that he still has to work. Today being your birthday won’t prevent someone from getting shot or blown up, after all. But he will still cheerfully wish you a happy birthday when he sees you.

- If you take any medications, he’ll tie a little bow on your refill when he gives it to you. But when you open it up later to take your medication, you find a little note inside:

- “Happy birthday mein freunde! Wishing you another year of good health! :)”

Sniper

- Pretty chill about birthdays, doesn’t take them too seriously.

- When he finds out it’s your birthday, he’ll give you a nod and a smile, wishing you “happy birthday, mate”.

- Towards the end of the day, he’ll come to you with a couple of drinks you like and just hang out. You’ll just have a good ol’ time sitting back in some lawn chairs and chatting about whatever while watching the sun go down.

Spy

- Doesn’t really share the excitement surrounding birthdays. Nonetheless, he still remembers when they occur, and that includes yours.

- If you mention it to him, he’ll give you a curt “Happy Birthday”, and won’t say anything else about it.

- But later in the day, a small box will appear on your bedside table. There’s no note to reveal who had left it there or what it was for, but deep down, you knew the answer to both of these questions. Inside is a small, but very expensive and high quality accessory that you’ve always wanted. You never told anyone about it, but it seems you didn’t need to.

- The first time you wear it, you swear you see the tiniest trace of a smile on Spy’s face.

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The mercs reaction to being handed a kitten!

Mercenaries Are Handed A Kitten

Scout

- He’s never been around cats before. Never had any as a kid, and the base isn’t exactly a great place to keep pets.

- But the moment that little ball of fluff starts purring in his arms, his heart is melting. It’s just so cute!

- He has never felt anything so soft before, and he can’t stop smiling. Ends up trapped on the couch when they fall asleep in his lap. He doesn’t want to move and accidentally scare the little guy away.

- Also finds out the hard way that he’s allergic to cats. Cannot stop sneezing after only five minutes of petting the kitten. Worth it.

Soldier

- For the most part, he’s indifferent about cats. They’re cute, but beyond that he doesn’t have much of an opinion of them.

- But when the kitten starts play-biting him, he has the biggest grin on his face. He didn’t know cats could be so ferocious!

- Soldier now has a new favorite cadet. He trained the cat to attack ankles and leap down from high places to claw people. The only problem is that they can’t distinguish between teams very well. No one is safe from the feline terror. He’s still trying to figure out how to fix that little issue, but he’s incredibly proud nonetheless.

- The cat also gets along very well with Lieutenant Bites and the other raccoons. Maybe a little too well… they’ve learned how to sneak out of the base and tend to come home smelling of sour cream and garbage. Frequent baths are a must.

Pyro

- Absolutely ECSTATIC! They’ve always wanted a cat!

- They are immediately in love with the kitty. They spend SO much time getting cat supplies, alongside a ton of cute little cat toys, a cat tower, and a scratching post.

- Their cat is super chill. Completely unbothered by anything or anyone. Pyro uses this to their advantage to put the cat in cute little outfits sometimes. They have an entire cork board filled with photos of their cat in adorable costumes.

- The cat is allowed to freely wander the base, and Pyro loves to just follow them around and watch them do cat things. Whether it’s climbing up onto shelves, bathing itself, or just lounging in a sunbeam, Pyro enjoys hanging out with their cat.

Demoman

- When you hand him a kitten, he’s a bit hesitant at first. It’s far too dangerous to have a cat running around, the wee lad is going to be blown to smithereens!

- But to his surprise, the cat proves itself to be a fairly tough little guy. They’re able to stay out of trouble, mostly keeping to themselves and not getting into anything they shouldn’t. They’re also a skilled hunter, and single-handedly got rid of the base’s mouse problems.

- Demoman quickly took notice of how well the cat keeps rodents out of the base, and he gained a lot of respect for them. He’s a man who appreciates hard work.

- The cat is very food motivated. If anyone has food, they’ll follow them around yowling loudly until they’re given some table scraps. Demoman is the biggest sucker when it comes to this, and is the sole reason why the cat has gotten a bit fat. He can’t help it, they’re just so cute when they want something!

Heavy

- After being a mercenary for so long, there isn’t much that surprises Heavy anymore. However, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting you to suddenly hand him a kitten out of nowhere.

- The little ball of fur fits perfectly in the palm of his hand. He knew cats were small, but this thing is absolutely tiny.

- Refuses to feed it kibble. Heavy’s philosophy is that if he wouldn’t want to eat it, the cat shouldn’t be expected to, either. The cat’s diet mostly consists of various cooked meats, instead.

- The cat ends up being the type to perch on his shoulders. Whether Heavy is spending time in the rec room with the others, reading, cleaning Sascha, the cat will always leap up onto his back and curl around his shoulders and neck. Heavy will always reach up to gently pet the cat before returning to whatever he was doing.

Engineer

- He’s always been a dog person, but he’s familiar with cats thanks to how often he came across barn cats back in Texas. So when he’s handed a kitten out of nowhere, he’s got a fairly good idea of how to care for it.

- The kitten is a bit timid at first, but with a bit of patience, gentle encouragement, and tasty cat treats, Engineer is able to get the little guy to come out of their shell.

- The cat is an absolute cuddle-bug. They love to sit on his lap while he writes out new blueprints for his buildings. They like to swat at his pencil while he’s trying to write.

- The cat also likes to lay on top of the dispensers around the base. It’s one of their favorite places to nap.

Medic

- Medic is a bird person, not a cat person. The moment he’s handed a kitten, he immediately becomes a bit nervous. He doesn’t mind cats, but he doesn’t want them anywhere near his birds.

- He’ll likely find a new home for the cat with one of his teammates. So long as the cat is kept far away from his surgical ward and private quarters, then he’s fine.

- He may be able to cheat death in countless ways, but he hates the thought of his doves getting hurt. He’s not going to take that chance.

Sniper

- When he’s initially handed the kitten, he has no idea what to do with it. He’s never had a cat before. The only pet he’s ever had was a Spotted Python he had as a kid.

- The cat is very timid at first, running and hiding whenever someone comes close. Sniper can’t help but sympathize with the poor thing. It’s clearly scared and doesn’t understand what’s going on.

- He starts trying to gain its trust by leaving food in places close to where it likes to hide, and keeps his distance from those places. He never tries to approach the cat, not wanting to scare it away. As time goes on, the cat eventually starts to realize that Sniper isn’t a threat, and becomes curious instead. Sometimes, it even creeps up to him and gives him a cautious sniff, only to immediately run away the moment Sniper notices it.

- Progress is slow, but eventually Sniper is able to pet the cat for the first time without them being scared. They even begin to purr, and Sniper cracks a smile at the sound. All it took was a little time and patience.

Spy

- He had a couple of cats in the past, and he loved them very dearly. He hasn’t had a cat in years, but the moment the little kitten is in his hands, he can’t help but immediately fall in love with it.

- He’ll pretend he didn’t and act annoyed about having to look after it. But when you come back a couple hours later to check on him, that cat is melting in his lap and purring louder than a chainsaw.

- Absolutely spoils this cat. Only the highest-quality wet foods for them, as well as the plushest of cat beds to sleep on. However, the cat still prefers to sleep in his lap. Good thing he keeps a lot of lint rollers handy.

- He is also allergic to cats. He does have medication to help with it, though, so it doesn’t bother him as much.

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Btw, ask box is currently empty! If you have any scenarios or certain headcanons you want to see me write, send in a request! I’m eager to write more! :D

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Romantic Scout x Reader Headcanons

- To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Scout is pretty awkward when it comes to romance.

- When he first caught feelings for you, he was anything but subtle. He would start flexing the moment you stepped into the room, trying to catch your attention with his good looks and “tough guy” attitude. But the moment you tried to talk to him, he would blush up to his ears and stumble over his words.

- He is always trying to impress you. Hope you enjoy watching him try to do something stupid and then fall flat on his ass, because it’s going to happen a lot. At least twice a day. But even when his ego is bruised, he still puts on a smile and tries to play it cool. As long as he makes you smile, he considers his efforts a success.

- Scout absolutely loves physical affection, including public displays of it. He will be holding your hand or have an arm wrapped around you at every possible opportunity. He likes being able to show off that the two of you are a couple. He loves you, and he’s going to make sure everyone knows it!

- Scout also tries to show his affection through gift-giving, most often in the form of meals he cooked himself. Ma made sure to teach him well before he went off to become a mercenary. He has a ton of her recipes copied down, the margins of which are filled with silly doodles he made. He always whips out the fried chicken recipe the first time he tries to cook for someone. In his opinion, it’s the best one! But he also has some really good recipes for clam chowder, homemade pizzas, pot roast, chili dogs, and an absolutely amazing Boston cream pie. It’s not often that he cooks, but when he does he tries to make it as good as he possibly can.

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do u have any romantic!medic x reader headcanons?? :]

Romantic Medic x Reader Headcanons

- The way Medic approaches romance is similar to how he approaches practicing medicine: incredibly unorthodox and a bit extreme.

- His love language is Acts of Service, and these services often translate to medical services. After all, medicine is what he knows best! Need a procedure done? He’ll happily do it for you! Have a mild stomach ache? He’ll offer to give you a new stomach! Feeling normal? Well maybe you could feel even BETTER with a second heart or an extra kidney! He can get a little over-excited about it, but he means well and genuinely wants to make your life better.

- Quality Time is the best way to show him love. He spends the majority of his time in the surgical ward, healing his teammates and working on bizarre experiments. Having you seek him out to spend time with him while he works means the world to him. The fact that you take genuine interest in his work, listening as he rambles on about what he’s working on and what he wants to accomplish… oh, it makes his heart feel full to bursting.

- If you offer to assist him with his experiments he will be practically vibrating in excitement. Medic would love nothing more than to share his work with you. Whether you assist him with performing surgery or are the one being operated on, he’s over the moon either way.

- Public displays of affection are not something that Medic really does. In front of the others, the most he’ll do is give you a sweet peck on the cheek in passing. This is usually just because the two of you are so busy a majority of the time. You don’t really have the opportunity to do much more than that. Plus, Medic is covered in someone else’s blood ninety percent of the time.

- In private, however, is another story. After a day of risking his life on the battlefield and healing the team, being able to hold you close is the best cure for his stress. He’ll hug you from behind and nuzzle your neck, peppering you with kisses and sweet murmurs. He won’t want to let you go, being content to just melt into your warm embrace for the rest of the night.

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Hello, call me Bug!

I play tf2 a lot and really love the characters, and this is where I’m going to be sharing my writing and brainrot for them. I am an adult, and I use she/her pronouns.

I love X Reader stories/headcanon lists and am finally going to try writing some of my own! Requests/prompts are open and welcome. However, I do have a few rules and things to keep in mind…

Things to Know

- Requests may take a few days to write

- I typically use gender-neutral pronouns in my writing

- I write for all mercenaries + Miss Pauling

I will NOT write the following:

- Sexual topics or fetishes

- Extreme Gore or Torture

- Child/teen reader

- crossovers with other media

- Freak Fortress (I’m not very familiar with it, sorry!)

List may be updated as needed, but for now these are the only rules for requests! Thank you for reading this over, I look forward to your suggestions on what I should write!