#they also don't talk much which is great
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I HAVE THR GREATEST IDEA!! Raindeer centaur!Y/n with orca!Eclipse and she finds two calves of sun and moon raindeer centaurs and bring to eclipse how would he react??
Oh my gosh, Reindeer Centaur Y/N!! You'd have a thick, brown coat and velvet horns. Strong and stout, you traverse the ice and snow with a silent forbearance.
Eclipse sees you before you ever see him. He's immediately enamored by the beautiful centaur trotting around snowbanks—he has to see you up close! It takes patience, but he follows from the coast, and he's rewarded. He finds you. He introduces himself the only way he knows how.
You kneel at the water's edge, hooves folded underneath your body as you wash your hands in the thick salt. The taste warns you to not drink it, but it does well cleaning away the sweat and grime from constantly moving. You lower your hands, cupping a gentle handful to wash the fine, velveteen fur of your neck when you realize a face is staring at you from below the surface, grinning.
You slowly straighten where you sit and he follows, emerging from the water in soft splashes and a gleaming gaze. He sizes you up as if deciding where to take the bite first. You, calmly, regard him, and listen to his gushing of how beautiful and handsome you are! He flicks his tongue over his teeth when he tells his name. When you share your own, you study how his claws thrum against the ice and how intently he locks eyes with you.
He often calls you 'my dear' and adores touching your antlers and stroking your thick, velvet fur. You take your time letting him close. When you're not racing along the ocean shore, you'll watch Eclipse breach, showing off with grandiose splashes before he pops up to catch your reaction.
On one rare occasion, he convinces you to lie down on your side, four cervine legs sprawled out, and lay your head on his stomach. You're both quiet the sight, a centaur and a siren, sprawled close together, but you don't mind his claws petting through your hair and scratching between your antlers so long as he's gentle. He sings you lullabies that lull you to sleep (you swore you wouldn't drift away so easily but he had other plans.)
When you're ready, you stroke his head fins and touch his flukes. He's practically beaming under your interest and snowflake-soft palming. He melts when you allow him to press his cheek against the velveteen fur on your reindeer half. He's clingy, but you gradually settle into his constant touches and affectionate affirmations with your treasured time.
Later, much later, when you cross a field, and discover two small bodies with bumbling cervine legs struggling through the snow, you calmly take a calf of beige and buttery yellow colors, and the other, blue metal and silvery, under your arms. They're just old enough to hold themselves up. They bawl, not yet having found their words. The twins nuzzle into your fur. It's not a pretty picture—two abandoned centaur young, but it's nothing you and Eclipse can't handle.
He accepts them without hesitation as you thought he might. It's not a question of acceptance but a matter of finding the right manner in which to tend to the children. You gently point out to Eclipse how the nub markings show how the buttery-yellow babe will have horns like a blossom of petals or a fan of sun rays, and the blue metal babe will have a singular horn like a shooting star or the crescent curve of the waning moon.
(He names them Sun and Moon, and you agree; it fits them fine.)
Eclipse watches over the three of you at night, quietly lapping at the ice's edge while you hold the babies close and provide them with warmth. (Eclipse laughs when the babes attempt to suckle on you, much to your bemusement.) During the day, he stows away though never too far and you find good moss and ferns that Sun and Moon can nibble on. You watch over them, minding predators and coaxing them to stabilize their gangly legs and hold themselves high. Evening falls, and you reunite. Eclipse plays with them tenderly, keeping them from falling into the sea but stimulating them to build their strength and their mind. They take to you both, much to your silent fondness. It's an odd little sight, but you're a family.
You wouldn't have chosen any other.
#y/n might be confused for being unfeeling or uncaring#but they're just very stoic#and believes in 'actions speak louder than words'#they also don't talk much which is great#they fit the trope of A likes to talk and B like to listen#and Eclipse sure loves to chat#reindeer!reader#reindeer!sun#reindeer!moon#orca!eclipse#apex polarity#add this one to the pile boys#guardianangelsblog
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This episode validated me so much. I left a comment on one of the shorts on YouTube, and I fucking clocked it. I was right. K and Evan worked together on helping people after Magic Broke, and after Evan left K felt like they had to do everything on their own. I'm just gonna attach my original comment below (everything bolded is to emphasise what I feel very validated on due to the new episode):
YES. Exactly! K and Evan are, fundamentally, very similar in their complexes around others vs the self, aka how they view themselves and how their value is tied to their usefulness. I don't know why they broke up, but my money's on the fact that both Evan and K were drowning in guilt for their actions relating to the breaking of magic, and that put a strain on their relationship. Especially as both K and Evan started to become self-destructive (or, even more in Evan's case) in their attempt to "fix" their mistake. I have an inkling that their breakup was more due to them drifting apart because of their Atlas Complexes (taking the world/their family on their shoulders) rather than an explicit Wrong having happened.
But yeah, Evan is fully in the right about his bodily autonomy and K having ignored that. However, what this clip doesn't include is K's actual reasoning and mindset around this. They wanted to "fix" Evan the same way they've been "fixing" magic as Itsy, and they thought they could do it all on their own; do a massive task that should have been done by a community all by themselves. K attempting to heal Evan and then proceeding to royally screw it up was just the natural progression of K's spiral; they were going to create an explosion at some point if they continued to act as they were. It was just, unfortunately, Evan's arm that got blown up, and not their van.
I am just. I called it. In a YouTube short's comment. I called that the reason for K's erratic behaviour was due to their guilt and sense of responsibility, and K nearly spelled it out when talking to Jammer. And with this confirmation, I feel even more bolstered in saying that I genuinely think that K didn't think through their actions when attempting to heal Evan; they saw that Evan had been hurt and scarred after their breakup, and most likely felt guilt over that. They weren't there for him, which led to him being hurt and having an injury heal wrong. K's a healer at heart, someone who tries to help and fix things, and here's living proof that they weren't enough. That they weren't there for Evan because of their own complexes. They just...hadn't considered what it means to heal an already healed bone, especially when magic is less "whimsical" and a lot more realistic right now.
I could go on and on about K and how their character is amazing, but I'll leave this here for now and bask in the feeling of having my analysis hit true. It's really helping my confidence which I need, oh no I have so much to write for my thesis
#Misfits and Magic#Mismag Spoilers#Misfits and Magic 2#Mismag 2#K Tanaka#Evan Kelmp#Dimension 20#text_loke#meta from loke#i am also just constantly rotating that argument in my head. and how K was talking about how THEY felt like THEY didn't love Evan enough#because Evan didn't believe K and K felt like that was THEIR fault. like. ugh. i love K Tanaka SO MUCH#Erika does a WONDERFUL job with their characters#i just have SO MANY THOUGHTS about these characters. i could talk forever about them#also want to write a post about Sam and about how her mirror-magic isn't because of her being an influencer#but it's instead because she reflects and mirrors others. she's always what everyone else needs#which is why I'm worried about Sam. because she may very well be hiding some deeper hurt that we don't see because she's GREAT at hiding jt#anyway. mismag does things to my brain
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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midnight thoughts: like, I know there's a decent number of people in the LU fandom who haven't played the games or have only played botw/tears onwards. So, how familiar are people with zelda music? Like, would anyone be interested in like a fandom discussion post talking about music that stands out from each title?
#rays random ramblings#music is a huuuuge part of the games!#zelda music is what got me into playing music#I dunno I wonder#I want to complain about FSA's credit roll again LMAO#when was the last time there's been discussion about the Twilight Princess Hyrule Field night theme#and how you can hear Malon singing?#or about how albw's final boss battle has what's probably the most triumphant rendition of zelda's lullaby?#how in this fight and the botw dark beast fight - you already know by the music that you are going to win! it's so uplifting and hopefull!#the botw dark beast theme isn't the theme of the beast- it is the theme of the voices and memories of the people of Hyrule!#and how they are in this moment with Link! it's not a monster's theme. It's a culmination and a triumph! He's going to win!#Wind has his own fanfare. the game opens with The Legendary Hero (Time)#but when Wind gets the triforce he gets his own acknowledgement from the main loz theme#called Hero of the Winds! which is just cool! I'm such a sucker for snare haha#noble demon's arrangements are really good but I want to point out the aol palace music in particular#and how idk- how the flute has the main loz theme and is the lead at times and you can follow it- like that's Link there he is!#the arrangement is so fun because it goes between sneaky and bombastic.#Hyrule is being SO sneaky!#there are so many good and goofy minigame themes too.#Wolf. Link. Can't. Sing!#there must be creative ways to tie the music into characterization or themes/moods with writing and comics as well#so much of Skyward Sword's music is cinematic or reflective.#Ravio's music is so goofy clumsy. the albw minigame theme has similar vibes to tease Legend to#LIKE nearly all the zelda characters have their own themes and motifs! All the locations! Do people know this??!!!!#is there a place to talk about this???#the Demise fight has the same like rising notes thing as Ganon's theme! I'm not a music theory person so I don't have the right words#but the parallels are super cool.#also like to any artists / writers / animators there are websites with the sfx from the games ripped#like if you want Link's yells and voice lines as individual .wav files that's totally a thing you can just have#Legend sounds real silly it's pretty great
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i'm still getting the hang of making gifs but it's already interesting to see the editing magic happening
#i don't understand coloring gifs yet but ill get there eventually#i just mess with the saturation/darkness/hue of color ranges#i dont even touch whatever middle gray or whatever is#and i obvsly do like general saturation and exposure and contrast and sharpening etc.#also i know im constantly saying this but i dont think the average person understands how much work making gifs or video edits is#a quick run of the mill 30 sec. edit to which i do nothing special for will take over an hour. probably closer to 2.#like i recently made a lichen edit and it took around that time#yet it was soooo basic#it takes HOURS to create even a minute of an edit or an amv#also i think making gifs is such a great help with making edits/amvs bc of the whole coloring/etc. editing thing#obvs it has a lot of other stuff to it too and so does gifmaking but yknow#leevi talks#also did u ppl know my description has links to stuff i make#just saying hehe#my gifs tag
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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!
How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!
I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.
Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.
#hazel levesque#hoo#mj talks#like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there#the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus#of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo#which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died#even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level#and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real#heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing#she deserves it <3#nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it#and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered#hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches#and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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mostly I prefer to play in the space and explore/ build on flavor text given by the books rather than outright reject or contradict it wrt things like races and classes in dnd but once in awhile I'll suddenly remember that canonically lizardfolk don't experience emotions and only respond to threats by logically assessing them as such because they're too primitive to feel fear
#FEAR? FEAR BRO???#YOU THINK TACTICALLY ANALYZING WHETHER A GIANT BEAST TRYING TO KILL YOU IS A PROBLEM IS *MORE PRIMITIVE* THAN *FEELING FEAR???*#WHEN YOU SEE A LIZARD OR A BUG NOTICE YOU AND START RUNNING AWAY DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING#'ah I see-- a much larger animal has noticed me. it may wish to predate me or it may simply pose an unintentional threat by being so large'#AND NOT 'AAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!' ????????#IT'S BAD WORLDBUILDING MAN LMAO IT'S A SWING AND A MISS FOR ME DAWG!!!#my PERSONAL take on this is that lizardfolk don't EXPRESS feelings the same way other humanoids do#and also culturally feel differently than a lot of other peoples#which leads to the perception by others that they don't Feel-#which coincidentally is convenient for other peoples particularly in positions of power to be able to abuse and exploit them#lizardfolk make GREAT manual laborers and footsoldiers :) they literally can't feel pain or fear :))#like. with warforged you can play in that space because 'do/ can they Feel' is classic robot shit because it makes sense for what robots are#lizardfolk is people. like that's not even a supernatural being within the fantasy setting that's a normal-ass animal the same as a human#'they don't feel love' okay fine that seems pretty maladaptive for a species that apparently builds societies but fine#'they don't feel fear' bud yes they fucking do what are you talking about. I don't believe you! that's stupid!!
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god i love sundays
#i open my eyes i make coffee i call mom we talk for at least one hour#it's kind of a ritual at this point#and funny how things are much better when we have a long conversation once a week#i used to be mad at her for reaching out when i was working or busy or sad or anything in general#now we don't talk much during the week because she knows i'm busy and she respects that#but she knows i'll always call on sunday morning and we will talk about everything that happened during the week#and it's always great and we don't even fight anymore#i used to say my mom is messed up so it's better not to talk to her but hey#one thing i realized is that i am messed up too so why do i always blame her for everything#she's just a human being#we should be more gentle to each other#and i guess we finally found a way to communicate#idk#we also say “i love you” at the end of every conversation now and god i really need it#and i guess she needs it too#anyway#it's better now#she's doing better and i am doing better#which is great#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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the current state of the one with the clones is me whispering to clone!ichiro you have got to fuck him faster than this and him hissing back i am fucking trying?? because this 4p clone sex pwp is now
and there's still. there's still no fucking p.
#icsm dailies#WHAT IS HAPPENING dream rap battle isn't even OUT yet and they are already doing severe damage to my. everything#speaking of which when i saw the delay announced i was#(sorry) but i was seriously like lol. lmao even#because i was there#I WAS THERE GANDALF#WHEN ARB WAS DELAYED... AND DELAYED......#as soon as i saw dream rap battle's original release date i was like lmao yeah that's not happening#anyway i say all this with great affection and appreciate them for not rushing a subpar product out#or working their team too unreasonably hard#ok what am i talking about now this was supposed to be a post about clone sex#MUCH LIKE THESE FICS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT. CLONE SEX. AND. THERE IS NONE#not YET. but we will. we will get there one day#also i feel like i should once again clarify that this is in no way a dream rap battle au#i don't even know what all that is about yet exactly i want to be surprised#i'm just taking the nisenii and nisetoki designs and running the hell away with them
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I've spent like, the past two weeks or more trying to draw curls and it's just not happening. when do I admit that I'm just washed up and can't do this anymore lmao
#tae talks#seeing the follows on bluesky and like#how do I tell them I'm not the artist they thought I was anymore#like yeah I'm depressed but I've also stagnated so much that I don't know if I can recover#and last year was great! I drew a little and wrote a LOT#and I don't think I've written anything significant since March#which I spent barking about Magnus#in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter so why can't i just stop#i haven't enjoyed it in so long I just feel obligated to do this
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crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot
#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass#1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere.#either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him#3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound#4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them#(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before#but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting#which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??)#5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important'#6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it)#& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later)#i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later#so they must be busy talking about something else. but what??#that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#homura cats arc#horrible exorcists#my posts#sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because#sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru...#also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along?#also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses...#he has matoba's schedule memorized lol#natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~#*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*
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#Robin processes emotions on main#im feeling so overwhelmed today :(((#everything is too much and I can't do it#I'm sure I'll survive the semester and do Fine but it's all so much and I just want to stop#I just. I just want to stop. I want to slow down#I could enjoy these classes and projects I know I could—if I had enough time to concentrate on any of them 😭 🐀#WAAAAAAH#also my sensory sensitivity is acting up which is Just Great!!!#I wanna stoppp I don't want to have to keep up in class I want to talk to my friends more I'm lonely.#SNIFF.
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I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.
First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'
Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."
It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."
I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.
#squiggposting#deeply personal shit just bc i feel like it and have been brooding on the final topic of this post#(if me being a writer is a waste or not) for a while#idk man it's the internet which is great bc it means i reach so many more people than i would without it#but it also means i don't really see the impact i have unless i'm told or happen to find it#i feel a little bad sometimes. like i should be more grateful for what impact/acclaim/positive influence i do have#but a lot of days i just feel...numb about it? i don't want to say i'm taking it for granted or feel entitled to more#i also talked about this to one of those people: that i have a hard time feeling things sometimes#both in a clinical depression way and that sometimes i just can't summon the emotions i think i should be#idk man i think i'm just at a point in my life where my identity (and honestly health) is in too much flux#and i'm also so damn lonely that i keep overthinking things that i shouldn't#venting#it's just weird to me how i sometimes think i feel too much/too hard and sometimes i don't feel ENOUGH#i think it doesn't help that like my dayjob is something i only generally find interesting but find no fulfilment in#so like. writing is pretty much what i've got to make life feel like it means something#everything else feels like it's something i'm forcing myself to do or is part of some long term plan or is an obligation#or something i 'should be doing'. writing is the only thing that i do and i push myself in bc i love it#if that doesn't mean something then nothing in life means anything
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I can't believe I hadn't considered the possibility of Sherry having a T. Corp ID before now ... it'd be perfect for her.
#I don't believe I've talked much about her relationship with T. Corp but it's ... complicated to say the least#because of Hubert certainly but also due to other factors#someday I shall elaborate ... for now I am thinking about Sherry working for T. Corp#I haven't the foggiest idea which Heathcliff she'd be paired with ... perhaps one of his E.G.O ...?#or maybe it'll be a Mirror World where she's still close to Hubert#much to think about ~#si: to a great mind‚ nothing is little 🤎#LCB Sherlock#limbus oc#scattered pages
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my 1 (one) stardew opinion is shane should not have won the bachelor poll
#stardew valley#like i love shane but his storyline is not improved by him being a marriage canidate#if anything his bland post-marriage dialogue and 14 heart event dampen the message#and clint would have been a GREAT bachelor#linus not so much because he would have suffered from the same post-marriage dialogue dampening as shane#and he's too much of a free spirit to be tied down to your farm#like maybe he'd have a similar romance path as krobus? like you don't get MARRIED married but you have a commitment ceremony!!!#and the wizard... need to be in a love square with the witch and caroline...#his hidden dialogue. the situation with abigail. his adulterous past. his condescending behavior towards the player.#i also don't think he'd marry the player though. would probably make you soul bonded or something#maybe it increases your health or smth? and if you get divorced your health gets cut in half for like a week while you slowly recover#idk i really like the idea of him cursing you if you divorce him. 'not a very mature way to express anger' my ass#clint... i need to marry him...#there's a mod which makes his storyline WAYYY too similar to shane for my liking#with him going to therapy and stuff#but it DID make him realize being around emily makes him uncomfortable which i really like#i think a good route for him to go down would be him recognizing that what he feels for emily is not love or even desire#it's anxiety. emily is nice to him which makes him uncomfortable because no one is nice to him#which he confuses for attraction and he confuses her kindness for reciprocation#i think if emily ever asked him out he would turn her down#like emily would come up to you and be like 'hey i realize clint has a crush on me and i think it's really sweet so i'm gonna ask him out'#and then she does and he just goes 'O-O erm... no thank you...'#which confuses emily but she accepts being turned down and later on#clint talks to you about it like 'i thought that was what i wanted but her asking me out made me really uncomfortable and i don't know why'#and in a romance route he gets with you specifically because you make him feel calm :)#originally i wanted to say this was my most controversial stardew opinion but a LOT of people hate shane. so#also emily shouldn't have won the poll either!!!#sandy would have been a MUCH better option to flesh out her character and the desert more#marnie would have been interesting considering her relationship with mayor lewis#and i hate penny so i would fuck her mom out of spite lmaoooo
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