#they also don't talk much which is great
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I HAVE THR GREATEST IDEA!! Raindeer centaur!Y/n with orca!Eclipse and she finds two calves of sun and moon raindeer centaurs and bring to eclipse how would he react??
Oh my gosh, Reindeer Centaur Y/N!! You'd have a thick, brown coat and velvet horns. Strong and stout, you traverse the ice and snow with a silent forbearance.
Eclipse sees you before you ever see him. He's immediately enamored by the beautiful centaur trotting around snowbanks—he has to see you up close! It takes patience, but he follows from the coast, and he's rewarded. He finds you. He introduces himself the only way he knows how.
You kneel at the water's edge, hooves folded underneath your body as you wash your hands in the thick salt. The taste warns you to not drink it, but it does well cleaning away the sweat and grime from constantly moving. You lower your hands, cupping a gentle handful to wash the fine, velveteen fur of your neck when you realize a face is staring at you from below the surface, grinning.
You slowly straighten where you sit and he follows, emerging from the water in soft splashes and a gleaming gaze. He sizes you up as if deciding where to take the bite first. You, calmly, regard him, and listen to his gushing of how beautiful and handsome you are! He flicks his tongue over his teeth when he tells his name. When you share your own, you study how his claws thrum against the ice and how intently he locks eyes with you.
He often calls you 'my dear' and adores touching your antlers and stroking your thick, velvet fur. You take your time letting him close. When you're not racing along the ocean shore, you'll watch Eclipse breach, showing off with grandiose splashes before he pops up to catch your reaction.
On one rare occasion, he convinces you to lie down on your side, four cervine legs sprawled out, and lay your head on his stomach. You're both quiet the sight, a centaur and a siren, sprawled close together, but you don't mind his claws petting through your hair and scratching between your antlers so long as he's gentle. He sings you lullabies that lull you to sleep (you swore you wouldn't drift away so easily but he had other plans.)
When you're ready, you stroke his head fins and touch his flukes. He's practically beaming under your interest and snowflake-soft palming. He melts when you allow him to press his cheek against the velveteen fur on your reindeer half. He's clingy, but you gradually settle into his constant touches and affectionate affirmations with your treasured time.
Later, much later, when you cross a field, and discover two small bodies with bumbling cervine legs struggling through the snow, you calmly take a calf of beige and buttery yellow colors, and the other, blue metal and silvery, under your arms. They're just old enough to hold themselves up. They bawl, not yet having found their words. The twins nuzzle into your fur. It's not a pretty picture—two abandoned centaur young, but it's nothing you and Eclipse can't handle.
He accepts them without hesitation as you thought he might. It's not a question of acceptance but a matter of finding the right manner in which to tend to the children. You gently point out to Eclipse how the nub markings show how the buttery-yellow babe will have horns like a blossom of petals or a fan of sun rays, and the blue metal babe will have a singular horn like a shooting star or the crescent curve of the waning moon.
(He names them Sun and Moon, and you agree; it fits them fine.)
Eclipse watches over the three of you at night, quietly lapping at the ice's edge while you hold the babies close and provide them with warmth. (Eclipse laughs when the babes attempt to suckle on you, much to your bemusement.) During the day, he stows away though never too far and you find good moss and ferns that Sun and Moon can nibble on. You watch over them, minding predators and coaxing them to stabilize their gangly legs and hold themselves high. Evening falls, and you reunite. Eclipse plays with them tenderly, keeping them from falling into the sea but stimulating them to build their strength and their mind. They take to you both, much to your silent fondness. It's an odd little sight, but you're a family.
You wouldn't have chosen any other.
#y/n might be confused for being unfeeling or uncaring#but they're just very stoic#and believes in 'actions speak louder than words'#they also don't talk much which is great#they fit the trope of A likes to talk and B like to listen#and Eclipse sure loves to chat#reindeer!reader#reindeer!sun#reindeer!moon#orca!eclipse#apex polarity#add this one to the pile boys#guardianangelsblog
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#NOT character tagging. for reasons j feel are obvious#honestly i shouldn't even be posting this here I'm responding more to twitter sentiments but they'd cook me on there if i posted this#anyway sometimes i think ppl (again the twt ppl specifically. tumblr timsteph fans mostly normal) are doing that thing-#-where you get so deep into a hyper online discourse cycle that you end up reproducing mainstream sentiments from scratch#''let men date women!'' this is what some of you sound like when talking about timsteph to me /j#there's a lot to critique about how Tim's been written since canonizing his bisexuality!#personally I've noticed (and seen other ppl notice to) that some writers seem unaware that tim is bi#not in the sense of making him straight but in the sense that they seem to think he's gay bc none of his relationships w women-#-are acknowledged as having been. relationships#or if they are there's an idea that tim was using them to 'hide from his true self' or something#genuinely problematic sentiment!#i also don't really find the ''he should cheat on bernard!'' jokes funny#like lets bffr Tim's cheating was NEVER acknowledged as cheating he was seen as a good all-american boy#so like. bringing that trait back and acknowledging it as cheating ONLY after he comes out as bi? i get it- ironic homophobia but-#-i really don't like it!#anyway. close your eyes and focus on the daminika like the rest of us /j#or the stephcass jason dancing image which will live in my head and heart forever despite arguably being ooc as well <3#bc it's funny <3 and at least I'm self aware <3#also much MUCH more importantly DC POWER SPECIAL EXTREMELY GOOD GO READ IT FOR DUKE#and jace but i haven't read future state yet bc i tried and got. extremely bored 😞 sorry jace you seem really cool#but he's great in the story dynamjc duo with duke. loved it love them want more#special was sold out at my comic shop tho so i couldn't grab a copy. might hit the other shop in town today to see#BOOST THE NUMBERS WE NEED A POWER COMPANY ONGOING GANG#anyway yeah. tim & steph thoughts. you can just say you like them you don't have to do all that
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I was tagged by @pegasusdrawnchariots. Thank you very much for the tag! I'm doing this before I forget and six months pass again lol
Three ships: Heathcliff and Cathy, Jack and Lacie. No one else holds a candle to these two truly, not even close, but I love Penelope and Odysseus, Lancelot and Guinevere, Hector and Andromache, Orpheus and Eurydice if they can be considered a ship at all given they're more structure than meat, Otacon and Snake, Han and Leia, whatever Cyrano/Roxane/Christian have going on, Rhett and Scarlett but also whatever Rhett/Scarlett/Ashley/Melanie have, Henry and Fanny, Obi and Shirayuki, Red and Blue/Green, Razumikhin/Dunya/Svidrigailov, Fermín/Ana/Víctor-Álvaro maybe, Kalpas and Sakura perhaps, Dong Mae and Ae Shin I guess, Ijichi and Gojo but also Gojo and Utahime, though these two are newish and probably I should not include them. I don't even know if I would say I ship many of these things, mostly I find the dynamics interesting.
First ship: hmmm I'm not sure. Perhaps Han and Leia when I was nine? Although I got into Star Wars for Anakin and Padmé. I remember having a lot of feelings about Zuko and Katara when I first watched Avatar when I was twelve. Although thinking back it may have been Red/Blue or Otacon/Snake/Meryl, or even Frank/Naomi, back when I was between 5-9 yo.
Last song: I can't recall. Perhaps Blue from Cowboy Bebop? Or Inkpot gods by Amazing Devil. They're actually both linked to the sunrises fic, which is why I listen to them.
Last film: For a few dollars more, again xD
Currently reading: I'm rereading On the Infinite Universe and Worlds by Giordano Bruno. Also comparing two editions of Cantor's Mathematical works, which I don't know if it counts even if it implies reading. Oh and Jujutsu Kaisen! This time steadily, in order, from beginning to end. I'm always taken aback by how much I care about this thing and its characters.
Currently watching: Cowboy Bebop! We're almost done with that, though. I guess you could argue I am also still watching Jujutsu Kaisen, even if I haven't watched an episode since last August. I think I'll give it another try soon. I suck at watching stuff.
Currently consuming: nothing. I have water with me, but nothing. My time or my life, I guess, in a broad sense.
Currently craving: a better life lol Jokes aside, nothing either, besides cherries (I always want cherries). Perhaps a small pastry, pretty but not too sugary. A lemon macaron or a red bean or matcha mochi.
I'm tagging @13eyond13, @cavarage, @bluebellbanshee, @eroshiyda, @nerd-bastard, @wearileigh, @mordredsheart, @jillvalentine, @song-of-amethyst, @whatevsbla, @elegyofthemoon, @redcandieddust, @peregrintook, @cutemercutio, @xonference, @fifteenrubies, @ccprovolomies
I'm tagging everyone ever, but I rarely remember to do these and I've been tagged in things before by many of you so you're all getting tagged. No pressure, though
#I've been toying with the idea of rereading Persuasion lately for some reason so I may do that soon#I also want to compare that book by Giordano Bruno and some other texts as well as some of Cantor's ideas to some Taoist and Buddhist ideas#and I have a bunch of texts that the Korean girls pointed me towards but I wanted to find them in physical form first#but my faculty's library doesn't have them so I guess I'll have to download them or read them on the Internet#yet I didn't find but fragments of them doing a few quick searchs so it's being a bit annoying and I postponed it#Which is why I took on doing the Cantor edition comparison first instead#Are titles written in italics when not from books in English? In Spanish they are (whole work title —music album book film or show name—#would be written in italic and between “” a part of it —chapter name or poem name or episode make or song—)#But now I'm doubting whether that works that way in English#Special ship mentions to Xellos and Filia from Slayers and Shigure and Akito from Fruits Basket#even if I never finished either Slayers or Fruits Basket. Extremely juicy extremely sexy extremely fucked up dynamics I think of often ♥#Behlul and Nihal too. I talked about them just yesterday. Sorry for this @faintingheroine xD#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Edit: included Dong Mae. I can't believe I forgot about him. I don't really ship ship them but I adore the unrequited shit show Dong Mae has#Dong Mae/Hui Seong/Eugene is a wonderful dynamic with great ship potential. Eugene and Dong Mae are great together#Unfortunately I don't like Eugene and also Hui Seong/Dong Mae are way funnier so I love them way more#Everyone's dynamic with Dong Mae was the best tbh. His loyal right hand? The mute girl? Kudo Hina? All great#Hui Seong also had wonderful dynamics tbh. With Hina he was so much fun and I loved him with the girl who was cheeky and practical#and honestly perfect for him yet was too late to be perfect because he already loved#The secondary characters in that show were so great. Eugene I disliked so much I don't even see Lee Byung Hun all that pretty#even though that was why I chose to watch it lol. Oh Lee Byung Hun and Ethan Hawke have such a good dynamic with great ship potential#in the new Magnificent Seven. And I adore in Warlock (the 1959 Western) what the two main characters have going on. So fucked up#I was sure tumblr would be filled with that identity/double/other me thing they have but when I looked up the tag it was basically empty#Criss Cross and Sweet smell of success also have very good shipping potential in the dynamics Burt Lancaster has
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sometimes in the fandom you see some art that is SO beautifully made but goes SO against the grain of how you perceive the drawn character(s) like I want to reblog it so much because it's so visually gorgeous and the artist is amazing and deserves to know this but I'll fucking die before letting that particular interpretation of the character(s) anywhere near my blog
#personal#don't take it as vagueposting#it's about A LOT of art I've seen over the years and I just got reminded of some of it#fandoms in general tend to take the characterization of nuanced characters in certain very specific direction#that irritates me to an absolutely unreasonable degree#and I don't want to rain on anyone's parades#it's fandom and it's for fun there is no way to enjoy your fictional guys wrong#so I mostly keep silent about it#but given sufficient time pretty much every fandom drifts into the state where I can't engage with it#without seeing red like three posts into the tag#even the art tag#and I feel so weird sitting there with my different perception#pretty isolated#which is self-imposed and not exactly bad but still weird#luckily I have some close friends that I can still have in-depth discussions abt the media and characters with#but online fandoming eventually gets blood-boiling rather than fulfilling#which is especially idk weird?#given that I'm mostly drawing fandom stuff#and I kinda SHOULD be interacting with the fandom#and I'd love to have talks of those fictional guys#they are great guys and I love to talk about them#but then I poke my nose into the fandom and my blood gets boiling#it's weird being a fandom artist outside of the fandom is what I'm saying xD#especially once you get used to the boost of motivation and productivity that comes from being in the fandom#and I kinda miss that but also well nothing to be done about that#don't mind me and sorry for the rant
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Cards 👏 cards 👏 cards 👏 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Damned#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#You may remember my DAX card - cough - and also my Stanley card! Also cough huh actually lol#Stanley's looked much more like this tho#Which would be because they're all part of the same printed set!#I actually have another like dozen-ish of these#Might show 'em off in the end-of-year roundup 👀 But for now it's just these guys! The sillies!#In very legible ink lol - I can read it and they're my notes so that's the important bit#I think Thrax's last name would actually be ''Roja'' tho so that's on me#Also why is Drix called Drixenol when his full first name is Drixobenzometaphendramine - where's the L come from#I've been Jonesing - pun intended - to fill out Ozzy's ''personality'' section for aaaggesss#I keep trying to pick at a scene with him and it's just not turning out! Need an easy-overview of his traits and features lol#I did actually have a new idea after making these so I think I was onto something lol#He has a very fun character type ♪ He's oddly socially aware for how annoying he can be! He does it on purpose!!#Drix is the exact opposite so they're great contrasts to each other hehe <3 Drix Tries to be helpful and fumbles it but he's so earnest!#Also finally got me decided on their room placements - so much easier to coordinate them at Night with that square#They don't have roommates Yet but based on who was inhabiting which rooms originally....o3o It's an idea isn't it hmmm#I went and read Thrax's description on one of his wiki pages as well and he was described as ''Cold'' and I was like uhm???#Like yes he does kill in cold-blood - he's pretty unflinching and indiscriminate with what and who he aims his fire power at#But with his hot-headed attitude and overall heat aesthetic I have a difficult time calling him Cold exactly - cool for sure! Haha#But yeah I dunno about that - he's also a nerd which I find very fun haha sets up a powerpoint presentation for his thugs#And just ends up doing the main bit himself anyway! He just likes to talk about his plans hehehe#It really is double-fun to have them all from different points in their timelines ahh ♪ Who and what they know so fun to play in#The secret-keeping and surprises are my favourite part! Mismatch and uncertainty! Love that#I also had a lot of fun with their background splashes :) Ozzy gets blue cells - Drix gets his pills and some fizzles#And Thrax's cell-destroying fire and flames were stylized so cool! Also has a bit of a pollen look as well! I enjoy
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i stop eating my popcorn when it's a quiet scene lmao i stop eating it because i know it Makes Noise and i want everybody to just be able to focus on the film . while some people decide THAT'S the moment they have to tell their friend something????????? you couldn't wait until the scene was at least over??????????
#and i fucking hate when ppl laugh when nothing that's on the screen is supposed to be funny in any way lmao#can you get a fucking grip#the moment is all quiet and serious and then this mf bursts out laughing mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonderful#they also moved around a lot .#waved their hands around and everything#the guy sat up in his chair a good few times and he was literally in front of the screen lmao#maybe they fucking forgot they WEREN'T in the last row#also . there is a good chance they were doing some Funny Business#which is also just#great#she had a little thing in her hand and i at first thought it was a smart watch or smth lmao#but why keep it in your hand and not on your hand and why have it close by and not in your bag#and now that i say this them moving around so much makes more sense too doesn't it#😍😍😍😍😍#i don't understand how some people have so little regard for others#no matters whatsoever#it really did piss me off so fucking much#again i think if it had been a funny little movie . them laughing and talking wouldn't had mattered so much#but can you just fucking read the room#we're watching this relatively QUIETTTTTTTTTTTT horror film#this is not the place nor the time for any of that#sighh#i hate it#left a fucking mess behind too lmao didn't throw their shit away or anything#kysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss#mayor of loserville
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i'm still getting the hang of making gifs but it's already interesting to see the editing magic happening
#i don't understand coloring gifs yet but ill get there eventually#i just mess with the saturation/darkness/hue of color ranges#i dont even touch whatever middle gray or whatever is#and i obvsly do like general saturation and exposure and contrast and sharpening etc.#also i know im constantly saying this but i dont think the average person understands how much work making gifs or video edits is#a quick run of the mill 30 sec. edit to which i do nothing special for will take over an hour. probably closer to 2.#like i recently made a lichen edit and it took around that time#yet it was soooo basic#it takes HOURS to create even a minute of an edit or an amv#also i think making gifs is such a great help with making edits/amvs bc of the whole coloring/etc. editing thing#obvs it has a lot of other stuff to it too and so does gifmaking but yknow#leevi talks#also did u ppl know my description has links to stuff i make#just saying hehe#my gifs tag
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As a bona fide DMC enjoyer for about however long it's been since DMC4SE released. Gotta say. Not sure how I feel about the new anime?
Spoiler alert below, some thoughts
Objectively, this series is fucking amazing. The team behind it very clearly love and adore DMC. This whole show is a loveletter to the games, the characters, and the world. But it felt... I don't know? Maybe it's just because it's a new universe. An animeverse as an alternative to the gameverse. And like. The characterization is all incredibly on point. Like. Yeah, Lady would join the military if Arkham died there and then. Yeah, she is fucking racist as hell. Yeah, Dante is a disaster in every single way and she even points out his usage of humor to cover his insecurities. Yeah, Vergil is the storm that is approaching (WHICH IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. HE SAYS THE FUCKING LINE. IT'S BEYOND FUNNY.) Yes, I WOULD fuck the White Rabbit in every single form.
But. Idk. I see people talking about the ending being off and I agree very much. It throws Lady's characterization, which has been great so far if not my preferred kind of Lady (and not my preferred Dante at the beginning but that's just because I am a demonic Dante enjoyer). Vengeful Lady is better than racist Lady in my humble opinion and I wish they had more of that. Could've just had Arkham involved somehow idk. But like. Her whole thing is learning to understand, but she... Doesn't. Instead, she condemns Dante to imprisonment and Hell/Makai to the full force of American colonialism (AMERICAN IDIOT BEING PLAYED OVER THAT SCENE CRACKED ME UP. PERFECT BTW. If it weren't for the butchering of Lady in those last couple, like, 30 seconds that allowed it to happen I would consider it one of the best parts). And then it's implied afterwards that Vergil... Joins Mundus of his own free will. Which. Yknow. Uh. Well. Erm.
(Also ngl I'm kinda pissed at using the fall scene for the White Rabbit. Like. No!!!! He has no personal connection there!!!!! I know it's a fanservice cameo but it doesn't mean anything like that!!!!!!!! THAT'S FOR VERGIL MAKING A DECISION THAT WILL HAUNT BOTH BROTHERS THE REST OF THEIR LIVES)
But yeah uhhhh. Mixed feelings about the animeverse. Maybe just because it's new and I'm not used to there being any kind of alternate DMC universe aside from the reboot that never happened fuck you, maybe it's because it left off on a cliffhanger and the story's nowhere near finished yet (still miffed abt the cliffhanger tbh. Like. DMC shouldn't end on cliffhangers, it should end on "and then everything was calm for a while" timeskips that let Dante get more wrinkles), maybe it's just me being confused as to why they gave Agni and Rudra actual heads
But yeah. Mixed feelings.
I'm gonna go play DMC5 again now
#devil may cry#dmc#yeah this is. odd.#its weird seeing lady like this.#its weird seeing DANTE like this#i know intellectually that in the books and stuff he didnt actually know abt being demonic somehow#but like. even with the start of dmc3. he seemed to be fully aware of his demonic side#he just didnt like it very much because Childhood Trauma#also lady being so dismissive of everyone else's tragic backstories while she uses hers to justify genocide is.#that's not my fucking Lady. that's not the Lady who lent Dante the Kalina Ann in the fight against Arkham.#also Cavaliere That Isn't Trish is very weird. very very weird#loved the scientist dude though. wish he lived longer#i will now stop talking in the tags and risking spoiler talk#just. idk. great show. i don't know how i feel about it atm#except that vergil is the storm that is approaching#which remains the funniest fucking thing in history btw. he said the fucking line
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god i love sundays
#i open my eyes i make coffee i call mom we talk for at least one hour#it's kind of a ritual at this point#and funny how things are much better when we have a long conversation once a week#i used to be mad at her for reaching out when i was working or busy or sad or anything in general#now we don't talk much during the week because she knows i'm busy and she respects that#but she knows i'll always call on sunday morning and we will talk about everything that happened during the week#and it's always great and we don't even fight anymore#i used to say my mom is messed up so it's better not to talk to her but hey#one thing i realized is that i am messed up too so why do i always blame her for everything#she's just a human being#we should be more gentle to each other#and i guess we finally found a way to communicate#idk#we also say “i love you” at the end of every conversation now and god i really need it#and i guess she needs it too#anyway#it's better now#she's doing better and i am doing better#which is great#[i say whatever and whatever that i want]
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the current state of the one with the clones is me whispering to clone!ichiro you have got to fuck him faster than this and him hissing back i am fucking trying?? because this 4p clone sex pwp is now
and there's still. there's still no fucking p.
#icsm dailies#WHAT IS HAPPENING dream rap battle isn't even OUT yet and they are already doing severe damage to my. everything#speaking of which when i saw the delay announced i was#(sorry) but i was seriously like lol. lmao even#because i was there#I WAS THERE GANDALF#WHEN ARB WAS DELAYED... AND DELAYED......#as soon as i saw dream rap battle's original release date i was like lmao yeah that's not happening#anyway i say all this with great affection and appreciate them for not rushing a subpar product out#or working their team too unreasonably hard#ok what am i talking about now this was supposed to be a post about clone sex#MUCH LIKE THESE FICS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT. CLONE SEX. AND. THERE IS NONE#not YET. but we will. we will get there one day#also i feel like i should once again clarify that this is in no way a dream rap battle au#i don't even know what all that is about yet exactly i want to be surprised#i'm just taking the nisenii and nisetoki designs and running the hell away with them
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#Robin processes emotions on main#im feeling so overwhelmed today :(((#everything is too much and I can't do it#I'm sure I'll survive the semester and do Fine but it's all so much and I just want to stop#I just. I just want to stop. I want to slow down#I could enjoy these classes and projects I know I could—if I had enough time to concentrate on any of them 😭 🐀#WAAAAAAH#also my sensory sensitivity is acting up which is Just Great!!!#I wanna stoppp I don't want to have to keep up in class I want to talk to my friends more I'm lonely.#SNIFF.
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I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.
First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'
Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."
It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."
I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.
#squiggposting#deeply personal shit just bc i feel like it and have been brooding on the final topic of this post#(if me being a writer is a waste or not) for a while#idk man it's the internet which is great bc it means i reach so many more people than i would without it#but it also means i don't really see the impact i have unless i'm told or happen to find it#i feel a little bad sometimes. like i should be more grateful for what impact/acclaim/positive influence i do have#but a lot of days i just feel...numb about it? i don't want to say i'm taking it for granted or feel entitled to more#i also talked about this to one of those people: that i have a hard time feeling things sometimes#both in a clinical depression way and that sometimes i just can't summon the emotions i think i should be#idk man i think i'm just at a point in my life where my identity (and honestly health) is in too much flux#and i'm also so damn lonely that i keep overthinking things that i shouldn't#venting#it's just weird to me how i sometimes think i feel too much/too hard and sometimes i don't feel ENOUGH#i think it doesn't help that like my dayjob is something i only generally find interesting but find no fulfilment in#so like. writing is pretty much what i've got to make life feel like it means something#everything else feels like it's something i'm forcing myself to do or is part of some long term plan or is an obligation#or something i 'should be doing'. writing is the only thing that i do and i push myself in bc i love it#if that doesn't mean something then nothing in life means anything
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Found this in a charity shopped picked it up based on your recommendations

It still has the poster. Would you recommend looking at anything prior to this?
I also remember reading a comic years ago with these guys but all I. Really re,ber was thinking it was very interesting to have a Captain from a pre first contact world. I might be misremembering that bit.
Any way thank you looking forward to giving it a go!
Hey! You're in luck this is actually the very first book of the series!! it's an anthology of the first 4 books. i really recommend it, i found it pretty easy/pleasant to get through. majorly silly stuff happening here. esp at the end, not to spoil anything though.
#also if you then wanna keep reading hmu i have most of the books physically and a lot i should have digitally as well 🤫#re: pre first contact civilisation#its more of a colonized opressed world type thing? so they got first contact with the federation for peace talks despite not having invente#space travel bc they were colonized by another alien race#which has a lot of potential thats not used as id like it to be most of the time#I have my own opinioms on Calhoun but I think there are certain books where he's written well.#He's.. a lot. If you don't really vibe with him (as i did and do) i recommend eventually checking out#the Captaons Table book about him. it literally made me go wait this is a good character. what the hell.#st:nf#star trek new frontier#i did think calhoun was annoying in this and I had to fight through to keep reading#its a lot of macho stuff that men find cool#also pretty cool about this book is a bigender intersex character with neopronouns#which js cool for the 90s but yk. hes pretty 90s about it ('him' being peter david)#which is ok i guess there are other problems with hir character that are much worse#i do recommend the series tho. id be curious to hear what you think!#i still have an ask from you where you invited me to share info on my blorbo Soleta#shes from this!#oh also theres a LOT of sex in these#its a big theme and there are many jokes#it bejng star trek a lot of it is . not so great . consent wise. thats a star trek thing honestly theyre bad at it
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hi! I recently came across your tgcf fics, and I wanted to say you’re a phenomenal creator. the recovery series fic and the gloves fic and just all of them. thank you for your content and great attention to detail.
do you have any thoughts/hcs on FXMQ and Xie Lian you’d be willing to share? within the original story or the universes of your fics!
Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them! (ノ*^▽^*)ノ.。:*☆
hmm, random thoughts about the FXMQ... a silly headcanon: Feng Xin has very much been hoisted by his own petard by heckling Mu Qing! That is to say, he'll harass Mu Qing relentlessly about something stupid only to be confronted with a similar situation and realise that there's absolutely NO way he can act in anyway similar to Mu Qing or he'll never hear the end of it.
(For example, he has tolerated some truly atrocious divine statues in the past because he's heckled Mu Qing so much about how picky he is with his divine statues that there's no WAY he can say ANYTHING without seeing that smug bastard's face in his head so he just has to bite his tongue and tolerate some unspeakably ugly statues.)
Mu Qing doesn't generally suffer from similar overthinking (he'll just prepare to kick FX's ass if he dares to say anything about it) except for things more directly related to himself. I think he genuinely finds sewing/embroidery/etc rather relaxing work but he'd rather die than have anyone ever see him do it because he's made such a big deal about not doing that sort of "servant" work anymore.
(He actually really enjoyed stitching Ruoye back together because it gave him the perfect excuse -- he's returning a favour!! and Xie Lian is hopeless!! of course he had to!! -- and he secretly considered using white thread to embroider some invisible little designs just because he doesn't quite want to stop... only he knew he'd get caught if he messed with Xie Lian's spiritual device like that and gave up the idea)
#tgcf#bene speaks#so anon will you send me a FXMQ hc back?? 👀 i know others have given that pair more thought than i have#though it does all make me wonder how mu qing (and feng xin) would feel about ruoye after learning about its origins#more fond or more resentful?#or guiltily realise that its been too long and they don't feel anything at all about it but wonder#if they should - if they would if they were better people#this is an irreverent goofy little idea off the top of my head but i dunno... i haven't written much with these guys yet#but i have thoughts#their entire dynamic with xie lian#the way they are so wholly in need of each other but also so intensely distanced from each other is... *chefs kiss*#none of them are REALLY friends by the end of the main series#not really#were they ever friends? proper friends? hard to say since we only have xl's pov and his pov is really biased especially in regard#to his past behaviour - he judges himself quite harshly#were they friends? did was the hierarchy between them mean that they never really COULD cross that divide?#i like to think they were and they did but still. 800 years is a long time#feng xin and mu qing have SUCH a horrifically and deliciously complicated relationship#there's so many old resentments between them + inherent ties that can't quite break + jun wu's fucking meddling#(and my GOD jun wu's meddling in that trio... would love to pick at that more... that would be a great fic#one that parallels fx/mq(/xl) and yy/qyz... give me a hurt/comfort fic that builds on that god#i am fascinated by what a renewed friendship could look like between them after 800 years now that they're all on somewhat equal footing#we got a great taste of mu qing wanting to move past old grudges and really pursue that which healed me after the wwx&jc ending in mdzs#but they all have so much baggage to shed and things to talk about... man it'd be intense#so yeah. this is a long tag ramble to say i definitely HAVE SOME FUCKING THOUGHTS about the mess that is the xianle trio (quartet)#anyway thanks for asking anon that was fun to ramble about
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doing insulin pump research and like the 780G system is genuinely very cool they're doing exciting fucking things AND the sensor is no longer the scariest thing you've seen in your life, but genuinely. from the bottom of my heart. why is insertion so complicated.
#they just keep pulling out tape#there's adhesive on the sensor there's a piece of tape over the sensor there's a piece of tape over the#idr what it's called fucking thing that talks to the pump#THERE'S ANOTHER PIECE OF TAPE OVER THAT#... i hate medtronic's tape i have always hated medtronic's tape#it HAS gotten better. it has. but that's so much.#for the record. for the record. i have been using the freestyle 2 for two years and uhm. i do not use other tape#outside of the adhesive ON the sensor#also this looks. like four times as complicated to do by yourself#deep sigh#but the benefits are like. they will make my life so much easier.#if all of the little bullshit doesn't make me insane and i don't go bankrupt trying to pay for the fucking thing.#and it's arm instead of torso which is great one thing to figure out how to wear pants with is enough.
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