#they accidentally restricted my account a while ago

[gothsuguru]

having some issues w my account hopefully tumblr can fix it :<

[frankhightower]

FA's new rules (again)

“After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new [rules], you know what I’m craving? A little perspective.” --Anton Ego, Ratatouille (Context for those who may be reading this in the future: 1½ years ago, Earlier this month) The journal I wanted to write today was not about this, but I feel the need to, once again, provide a statement. I understand things are scary and confusing, and I chalk this up to two reasons: the “feedback” section of the announcement which seemed to imply “well we don’t know what’s ok and what’s not so we’re going to ban everything to be safe”, and the policy itself, so let me begin by saying what I think the new rules mean

The new rules as I understand them

Minors being not allowed in mature content: Renaissance-style paintings like riffs on Raphael’s Galatea are no longer OK.

Minors being not allowed in adult content: A married couple getting frisky is not OK if there’s a cradle in the room; no exceptions will be made for “but the scene takes place in the 1300s, houses had only one room!”

Minors not being allowed in the presence of ��prohibited” stuff: If you were planning to tell the story of how, accidentally walking in on your parents “doing it” when you were little, changed you for life; you will now no longer be able to (this is from the previous rule change but it’s been bothering the back of my mind for a while).

The definition of “presence”: If that story is about what you heard through the door, and the story makes it very clear that it was NSFW stuff, that is no longer allowed either.

The definition of “minors”: If your story is about an elf or a fairy, even if the fairy is a hundred years old, if they are still a minor in elf/fairy terms, they count as a minor (however, I think an unintended casualty here may be chibis, and an artist I admired whose whole thing was chibis already deleted their account!)

The definitions of fetish and kink: The rule no longer reads “minors may not be fetishized,” so these definitions have no effect on the rule (I guess they’re from an earlier draft).

The “no minors with bulges” rule: Although this was in the previous rule, this, I think, is directly targeted at “baby Pokémon” art (i.e. “he looks like a newly-hatched pichu, but he’s canonically an adult”), since in my 20+ years in the fandom I can’t recall ever seeing a minor with a bulge (and I have explored the AR community quite a bit even though it “does nothing” for me – yes, it is possible to read those stories for the plot!)

The “no pregnant minors” rule: Chibis may not be pregnant; no exceptions will be made for teen pregnancy stories (again, this was part of the old rule).

The “no messy diapers” rule: Similar to how there’s no bleeding in Disney movies, baby diapers must appear clean even when being changed / needing change (definitely a ‘kill a fly with an artillery canon’ rule, at least as far as storytelling purposes go IMHO, but almost all diaper art that features messy diapers also has a “clean” version uploaded alongside it so, sadly, this one will have the least measurable impact)

The “no restroom activity” rule: Riffs on the illegal Calvin peeing on logo stickers are no longer OK.

The “Body Part Emphasis (except coincidental)” rule: This appears to be another targeted one, this time at the Bluey fans who will have Bluey do a “paw tease” for giggles but it’s okay because she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I have also seen this with The Lion King community with young Simba accidentally stepping on smaller OCs (no doubt inspired by his interactions with Timon in the third movie) and I’m sure there’s more I just can’t remember off the top of my head. The “except coincidental” seems like a way to ensure it doesn’t hit the size community (where “we need to sneak past the kitten” pretty much requires filling the frame with said kitten – assuming what they’re sneaking past doesn’t fall under the “presence” rule)

The “Regression restrictions” rule: This one seems designed at fixing the “non-sexual depictions of birth and breastfeeding” “loophole” in the same way the “no teen pregnancy” rule attempted to fix the previous loophole: by overcorrecting. Again, I see this as detrimental to the stories that may be told: lucid dream sequences where you revisit your earliest memories, social commentary on “why do kids find this funny”, and Freudian-style analyses on how we long to be cradled to mommy’s chest, are all in the crosshairs here. And these are not hypothetical, these are all staples of age-regression stories, some of which are hundreds of pages long. While I get that the intent is to not fetishize the lack of consent (which seems to be why they added the “mentally” clause since “magically reduced to babbling fool” stories are a thing), similarly to when they said “just age up your baby Pokémon”, it creates this weird alternate reality where adults breastfeeding is the norm.

How it affects me

The most direct effect on me is with the story of Camila the fairy. I’ve mentioned before, her canon story features her and Susan bonding as children by performing magic. I will now need to make sure none of the magic they perform results in anything that is fetishized (which, when the spells are supposed to be random, is actually a tall order!)

In fact, anything where Susan appears now carries a risk since, as I noted in my last journal on the topic, although I have her entire life charted out, I’m not too good with making her “look” the right age.

Then there’s the stories I wrote when I was 10 like Back Home. Although I was prepared from the beginning to not appear in them at the age of 10, I’d been hoping I’d be able to in at least one of them. The risks associated with doing that have basically just gone up for no reason.

Lastly, there’s gift art and fan art I’d planned for certain babyfurs which I will now have to tread very carefully on.

As before, I have no intention to cancel my plans, I don’t consider my art explicit, and I let the author decide if a character counts as a minor. But I am legitimately fearful of losing all I’ve built here if I unwittingly step over this invisible line like I haven’t been in a long, long time.

Posted using PostyBirb

[caracalled]

i have decided i am sick of endless scrolling and never feeling like i am in power of my own time, I barely even remember anything I did after sinking several hours into scrolling. I feel like my brain has this urge all the time to get the little content dopamine hits which mainly leads to mindless scrolling on youtube and tumblr.

So I am changing my environment and making some rules for myself regarding social media:

My laptop stays at my desk and I only use tumblr + youtube on my laptop (with time restrictions), so I don't accidentally rot in bed all day. I also hang out on forums there but I think that's fine bc of how slow paced they are.

because I am in a long distance relationship, calling with my partner is only allowed on my ipad in the evening (this will stop hopefully when he moves in with me in may)(yay :D)

if possible, I only take my flip phone outside and leave my smartphone at home. I urge my friends to call instead of texting.

I deleted my instagram + twitter accounts a long while ago but that counts too I think

no social media apps on my phone except for bereal and letterboxd

Less social media related but a huge change for me: I got a wristwatch recently and it's so nice to not have to get out my phone and accidentally see a message to tell the time!

There's also the issue of my attention span and passive media consumption in general so here are some things that are gonna change/have changed:

I don't have streaming, so for anything I can get at the library, I have to plan ahead and take a walk to my local library so I can watch it (so I get a nice little walk too! :D)

No Spotify either, so music I either get at second hand CD shops or on bandcamp and listen to them on my ipod (which doesn't have internet)

Youtube is a big problem, but I took a 1 week break recently which massively improved the situation. I might do that again and also I'll definitely put restrictions on youtube. I don't know if that will be enough so I think I have to find a better solution long term?

I usually check my phone first thing in the morning so from now on in the evening it goes on my dresser. Since I typically either scroll tumblr or read webcomics I will keep my ereader on my nightstand and read manga on that instead in the mornings.

Video games are always allowed. Mainly play short indie games anyway plus I think this consumption falls under active in my specific case, and overconsumption has not been a problem really.

I think this is still pretty rough around the edges. I need a better idea of how I want to handle uni work and productivity, and also taking rest times? I think being able to not really do anything at all is incredibly important for my mental wellbeing and I want to find ways to do that, but also I would like to stay on top of my work enough for it to be stress-free for me to engage with. I think starting some sort of exercise and making walks more frequent + longer so I actually walk more than my average 5k steps a day would be nice, plus those walks would give me some more space for my thoughts. And my uni offers meditation classes near me, so I will also see if that is interesting at all this semester. Let's see how this goes!

[catbureau]

He asked me if I was good with phones because another coworker went around telling everyone I was a “tech wizard” after installing an adblocker on his phone. I made the mistake of saying yes thinking he accidentally muted his phone or something because he was old, but when he handed me his phone it was his plenty of fish profile. He told me that he was getting only old women and wanted me to change his age to 25 on there. The man is 65. I said it wasn’t possible.

So then he takes his phone and hands it back a minute or so later and there’s tinder. He asks me to make an account. He is dead serious and I have to keep a straight face as I make this account. He tells me to put 25 as the age but I put 65 and doubt he’ll notice. When I tell him to upload a picture, he says he doesn’t want to add one until I say that I can’t make the account until he does. So he tells me to take a picture out the window and just upload that— of an extremely restricted area on the worksite that would get you fired on the spot if you snapped a picture. I take two identical pictures of the ground and he tells me thats perfect.

So after the entire debacle ends I leave and tell my coworker what happened and my coworker curses and tells me that he already made this guy both a plenty of fish account AND another tinder account a long time ago. My current boss tells me the guy also had him make him a plenty of fish account a while back too. So now almost half of the entire crew has made this guy a dating profile.

Had to make a tinder account for my demoted ex-boss today. I need to find a new job.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone

this is an extra to the great adventures series

requested: yes/no

warnings: cursing

tommy

you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.

“do you ever talk?”

“heh?”

“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”

“do what”

“that fucking HeH.”

“are you mocking me simons?”

“noooo why would i do that...”

“it’s y/n.”

“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”

“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”

“loser.”

“the fuck did you just say?”

“nothing.”

it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:

tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check

*2 minutes later*

tommy: well?

y/n: i got accepted

tommy: me too

y/n: call me right now

tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?

y/n: absolutely not

tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be

once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.

“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”

“please god no.”

you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.

ranboo

you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’

“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”

“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”

“no.”

“fine i’ll make my own.”

and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.

you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.

“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”

“fine.”

“REALLY?!”

“absolutely not!”

“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”

you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.

you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.

Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*

ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.

“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”

“i will ban you from mcc!”

“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”

*you died*

you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.

“FUCK!”

you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.

“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”

a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’

you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.

“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”

ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.

“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”

that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.

“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”

“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”

“....why”

“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”

“you are in the uk.”

“okay? catch a flight.”

chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.

jack

you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.

“hello jack!!”

“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”

“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”

the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.

“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”

“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“it means your accent is strong, duh.”

jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.

“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”

rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.

“Y/N...TOMMY!!”

“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”

“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”

“i can’t believe you.”

“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”

“how did you know?”

“i had your stream on my other monitor.”

“ayeee you watch my streams?”

“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”

the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.

“and they’re gone again!”

*4 minutes later*

“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”

“stop leaving y/n!”

“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”

a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.

“y/n give me your phone.”

“no.”

“you lost let me tweet from your account”

“fine..”

soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification

“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”

tubbo

tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.

“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”

“when are you next coming up?”

“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”

“see you next week then!”

a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.

“uh tommy where are we going?”

“...on a train.”

“no way, really? oh my god!”

a few hours later you finally got off the train.

“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”

“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”

“right okay, meet you at the beach later”

you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.

“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”

you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.

“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”

“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”

“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”

“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”

“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”

“did you collect enough or did you want more?”

“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”

the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.

“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”

“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”

“are you sure?”

“of course!”

“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”

tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 181

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

agustdynasty said:

Hello you lovely lovely people, I’m looking for a fic that I was in the middle of reading but couldn’t finish because one of those annoying “you have a virus” webpages that it would not let be back out of . It took place during the war and I believe that the commandos knew about stucky’s relationship. There is a scene in a church where an orphan child I believe asks them to put on a performance of Snow White and Bucky and Steve have to kiss since Bucky is Snow White. Thank you so much!

Anon 1 said:

Hi!! I’m trying to find a fic I read a while ago. Steve was an Omega and is set up to live with Alpha Bucky. It’s in a modern setting and they never met each other as kids. And they get really domestic and it’s super cute. Sorry I don’t remember much about the story

emmalostinwonderland and possibleplatypus sent in Season of all things* by Claudia_flies (complete | 26,466 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 2 said:

Lost an au fic where Bucky was a SHIELD agent but Steve has still been frozen and Steve was lying/had designation problems in a D/S or A/B/O world. Bucky is an alpha and Steve is pretending to be but it makes him struggle a lot and they jerk off in the showers together because that’s normal for alphas/doms but Steve accidentally marks Bucky and it’s a huge insult in their culture so he’s offended and does it back and miscommunications until he figures out Steve is really an omega/sub

erika55wolf said:

Hi! I'm trying to find a post-winter solder fic where Bucky is on the run or homeless and doesn't even remember who he is. He was learning to be a person again and goes by the name Steve for a while because that's the only thing he remembers and feels strongly about. It was quite long, don't remember if multi-chaptered. It's possible Bucky was discovering he was gay and had sex for money, though I might be mixing it with another fic. Hope you can help!!! Thank you for everything you do

princessniitza sent in The Needle and the Killing Done* by spitandvinegar (restricted, oneshot |  7,549 | M) *rape/noncon

Anon 3 said:

Hey y'all! I read a fic a while ago where Steve painted all the avengers as saints or something along those lines and I can't find, I don't know if the author deleted it. Do you know any works like that?

Anon, princessniitza and skarabrae-stone sent in Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar  (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags

cyndagoaway said:

hey! haven’t looked at tumblr in a while and i was so sorry to hear about your last account! i’m looking for a fic so if you could help me out it would be cool. it’s a college au i’m pretty sure, bucky is a prostitute that meets steve at a bar, he’s hooking to pay off his student loans or something. so steve picks him up for the night and the next day when he starts college bucky is in his science class and they’re partners. sorry if it’s kinda vague.

Anon sent in Ain't No Rest Universe  by Kellyscams (series, ongoing | 314,093 | E)

Anon 4 said:

Ok this might be a bit vague but there was a fic I read a while ago where Steve and bucky were friends and then bucky moved away. Then Steve's looking for a flatmate and bucky comes to live with him. I seem to remember Steve had a stepfather that hurt his mum? Maybe guy called victor or smth? Thank you so much!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners by OhCaptainMyCaptain (complete | 100,481 | E)

foolhappy said:

I’m looking for a fic I read a long time ago (I think just here on tumblr in a post?) where winter soldier Bucky doesn’t remember Steve but has habits left over from fighting alongside him, like keeping stuff in his pockets on one side, or describing things by shape instead of color because Steve was colorblind. Can you please help me find it again? 😭🙏

telvian said:

So I'm thinking my ask got lost in the move, or tumblr ate it. I'm looking for a fic with Viking bucky who falls in love with steve who is unknowingly the heir to some kind of irish land. He has a sheild birthmark and currently pierce is ruling his land. Bucky finds steve working in a brothel. Natasha is adopted by bucky after she tried to pickpocket him. Bucky is working on Thor's ship. Bucky is one of many sons to a Jarl, I believe this is shown at the start of the story. Thanks in advance!

agentseventyfive said:

Hey there. Thanks so much for all your hard work. Can you help me find a fic please. Bucky is staying in Clint’s apartment. Either injured or in recovery. He’s finding people interactions hard but starts to bond with Clints dog; sleeping on the sofa with the dog lying on him. Steve turns up & I think sleeps beside him on an air mattress on the floor? I’ve looked through the Lucky (Hawkeye) searches but the dog may not have been tagged despite having a big role. Thanks.

Anon 5 said:

Hi! I've been looking for this fic for almost an hour & it's driving me crazy, I was hoping you guys could help. So the details might be a bit off but it was shrunkyclunks. Bucky and Steve meet at a coffee shop where Becca works. It's Dom/sub and Bucky is a history(?) grad student (or some type of student) who ends up writing about captain america/the avengers and he ends up with a grant to open his own museum about the avengers. I think it also has Sharon&Wanda in a background relationship.

Anon 6 said:

hello there! I'm looking for a fic I read a while ago. It's post tws, bucky goes by James I believe but isn't really recovering the way they all hoped. Something magic happens and James somehow erases himself out of existence (?) So that Steve gets the old Bucky back. Somewhere at the end they get James back and Bucky goes back to his own time. I remember there was a scene in which Bucky enters James' old room and it's covered in papers and there's a gun with one bullet near the bed.

princessniitza, noneofusthesame, skarabrae-stone and drjezdzany sent in Memory* by orphan_account (oneshot | 23,934 | T) *chose not to warn

Anon 7 said: (past HTP)

There's a fic I lost where Bucky can't get off on being touched in any "inappropriate" zones because of past htp, and he can only orgasm when Steve touches him in innocent places (like arms, shoulders, etc) and praises him. Do y'all know what I'm talking about? Thanks!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in Need to Mean It, Concede It* by hjbaltimore (oneshot | 2,758 | M) *HTP

Anon 8 said:

Hello! I'm looking for this post-tws fic in which bucky moves into a friendly neighborhood before he meets steve again. i remember his neighbours were a lesbian couple and a woman he'd see run past every day. there was also some colourful clothing involved and a dog i think.

Anon sent in A Year in the Life of Sarge’s Person by Angst_BuriTTo, BlueSimplicity (complete | 189,125 | E)

Anon 9 said:

Hello :) I have been trying to find a fic, where the main theme is Bucky's arm and spine being operated on, so to speak, in order for him to recover after WS. I remember Tony putting together the best of the best surgeons from all over the world. I've searched through my bookmarks and my ao3 history but nothing jumps out. I remember something about Steve and Wilson finding Bucky being jumped near a lake i NY, but I'm not sure its the same fic. Can you help? Thank you.

drjezdzany and noneofusthesame sent in Thawed Out* by auburnnothenna (auburn), eretria (complete | 159,341 | E) *heed the tags!

[oceanmonsters]

What was wrong with FFH that made you so angry?

oof okay so this is long, apologies for ranting abt old mcu & tony stark in 2021 bc I know most people won’t care but this movie made me unspeakably angry and just thinking about it is enough to make my never want to touch the mcu again.

There’s obviously general issues wrt MCU Spider-Man AND how much I completely fucking hate them keeping the blip in as a plot point instead of just having them reverse it, but the main issue with the film itself was that EDITH and the plot surrounding that was literally SO stupid both objectively and in the context of the MCU.

Tony basically left Peter these glasses which essentially would give him all of the power of Iron Man, including but not limited to: being able to spy on any citizen and have access to any of their private personal information and oh yeah, ACCIDENTALLY calling a drone strike on a bus full of teenagers. He is basically giving Peter the power to unilaterally enact justice and destruction on whoever the fuck he wants at a moment’s notice. It’s not a power anyone should have or even want, least of all a 17 year old. Except when he tries to bring up his concerns he’s dismissed and so he tries to give up the power to someone he considers more responsible but then it turns out that that is also the wrong decision because Mysterio is actually evil. And then Peter’s whole character arc over the movie is based around him stepping up to the responsibility and taking the glasses at the end, completely ignoring the fact that Peter is 100% perfectly justified in not wanting that kind of power because he’s 17 and it’s literally an insane amount of responsibility. The whole Spider-Man thing is with great power comes great responsibility and Peter actually did the mature and right thing by saying “Actually, no, I don’t think I can handle this responsibility so I can’t take this power” but that was framed as a flaw that needed to be overcome. Which is objectively a terrible plot.

And it gets even worse when you look at it wrt Tony and the whole MCU. I think there was a post I saw ages ago that explains it better but basically Tony’s character development in the MCU after his movies is just a mess, and it basically goes like:

Tony in TWS: there’s a bunch of fucked up shit that’s happened, having universal oversight and control over everything in the world to be able to take out threats before they get to catastrophe level will keep us safe, and this should be in the hands of an organisation like SHIELD.

Tony in AOU: right so it turns out that i was literally enacting HYDRA’s evil plans and Steve had to stop it. No way anyone could’ve seen that coming (apart from Steve who literally saw the fascist red flags from the very beginning, but let’s ignore that). Anyway, the ONLY reason that plan didn’t work because it was in the hands of an organisation like SHIELD which turned out to be corrupt and bad people used the perfectly good idea for nefarious purposes. However, the idea was good so to make it infallible I’m going to make the same thing but controlled by a super powerful AI.

Tony in CW: Okay so... another bust and more people died. But instead of admitting that creating Ultron was the main mistake, instead I’m gonna project my guilt about that onto the people that died while we were saving the world from Ultron and act as if that was the main issue and more oversight would’ve prevented that for some reason. And also ignore that Ultron being created mostly had nothing to do with enhanced individuals at all but with me fucking around with AI and finding out. I will somewhat reflect on the power a single individual should have but instead of making any personal changes or reflection I will instead advocate for all my teammates to be restricted even though their powers, unlike mine, are inherent to them, making it a lot worse for them because it’s literally controlling their actual bodies and how they can use them (but let’s skip past that because CW is not the main point of this and I have a lot more I could say). The point is that we should have accountability and oversight from a much less fallible body rather than taking everything into our own hands.

Tony apparently sometime before his death in Endgame: okay so ACTUALLY the solution is taking all of this great power, a lot more than even I had for most of my career, and give it to a 17 year old because I personally believe that he’s a good guy and has got what it takes. Because suddenly we’re past the needing accountability and oversight phase and into the “this random teenager from New York should hold the lives of thousands if not millions in his hands” phase. Even though I didn’t trust captain fucking america, an adult, experienced, long time superhero and soldier who literally saw the red flags in the SHIELD thing after looking at it for 2 seconds, to be able to decide where to throw his metal frisbee without UN oversight a few years ago. THIS is the ultimate solution to my ultimate question from the beginning of how to keep the world safe.

Like I hate to do Tony Stark discourse in 2021 but this was the movie that made me go “oh so they really will just have Tony do anything but it’ll be framed as good just because it’s Tony even when his actions are objectively wrong... okay.” I already felt that in CW but this was rly the last straw with the MCU for me, like it was really the movie where I was like “yeah this is all bullshit and no one in charge cares about actually making good stories.”

[zktop10]

Top 10 Rated E Completed Fics!

Ok I skipped over the One Shots because there are a lot and I didn’t want to do them yet, but I did FORGET about the Rated M WIPs so those will be next.

AND LISTEN UP

THIS IS THE SERIOUS STUFF

NO MINORS

NONE

DO NOT CROSS GO

DO NOT COLLECT $200

DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST IF YOU’RE UNDER 18!

Sx: 0.46

Out of TWENTY-SIX stories, here are the Top 10. List under the cut!

Title: didn't know my heart 

Author: babyfairy 

Summary: And yet, in a matter of days, she has managed to worm her way under his skin, has cracked open his rib cage and has begun to patch up the endless amount of wounds on his heart.

Score: 10 / 10

Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Secret Relationship

Title: Walk of Shame (Restricted Access)

Author: orphan_account

Summary: Katara's goals for the semester are relatively modest; playing an inebriated round of Never Have I Ever with her coworkers and subsequently getting drunk-married to her boss's nephew is not something she had the foresight to take into account.

Her newest goal: secure an annulment before her brother and father get wind of this disaster. On the bright side, she's that much closer to ticking 'virginity loss' off her bucket list. Modern AU. Zutara.

Score: 9.7 / 10

Tags: Alternate Universe, Modern Setting, College Setting, Accidental Marriage

Title: My Heart Burns for You

Author: alwaysZutarian

Summary: Four years have passed since the end of the war, but as they meet again and encounter many obstacles, Zuko and Katara realize that whom their hearts truly burn for is one another. Can they love each other knowing they will hurt those that love them? What will become of them when a new enemy appears with a vengeful plot to destroy everything they had worked for to bring peace?

Score: 9.7 / 10

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Title: Duels of Honor 

Author: audreyii_fic

Summary: Sozin's Comet is approaching, and people have the power to shape their own destinies. Sparrowkeet!verse.

Part 14 of The Sparrowkeet Series

Score: 9.3 / 10

Tags: Angst, Sparrowkeet Universe

Title: How Dragons Fall in Love

Author: Polywantsanother (Transparency Note: This is me, also I’m in the process of editing this book, which will remove the content that makes it E. So, get to it while you can I guess???)

Summary: Timeline placement: ~4/5 years after the end of the war. Re-examines relationships and "The Search" story line.

What comes next after you save the world?

The Gaang has scattered: Sokka and Suki are fractious over Sokka's insistence to marry, Toph just wants to get on with being able to do whatever she wants now that she's free of the Beifong compound, Zuko is finally running his country, Aang wants to bask in adulation while creating more Airbenders, and Katara is fed up with pressure of responsibility and obligation.

After yet another fight with Aang, Katara takes a vacation in the capital city of the Fire Nation and reconnects with Zuko after a few years apart. Fire, as is its nature, burns quickly and while passions are running high, Katara agrees to join Zuko on a search for his mother.

Katara, already caught between two conflicting paths for her future, is now faced with a third. But is being the secret lover of the Fire Lord really how she wants to end her story?

Part 1 of Steam

Score: 8.4 / 10

Tags: Post Series, Smut, Series

Title: Confused

Author: thispieceofwork

Summary: Zuko stood. "You told Aang you were confused. Are you confused because of me?" Katara was silent, arms crossed in front of her. "Don't make me answer that." Zutara, rated MA. Contains explicit, but plot important, sexual situations.

Originally published many moons ago on fanfiction.net under the penname "akiko-dono". THIS IS STILL ME. Just changing names for the new forum. I plan to do a sequel to this story on AO3, and would like for people who might want to read it to be able to read the first installment all on the same site.

Part 1 of Confused

Score: 8.2 / 10

Tags: N/A

Title: Journeys

Author: Smediterranea

Summary: Katara, in her final year of medical school, spends her time studying and working without having very much fun. That might change when she meets another workaholic named Zuko... Modern AU Katara/Zuko, with a sprinkling of the other members of the Gaang throughout.

“This tea is delicious,” she says politely.

“I didn’t make it,” Zuko says. “I’m not allowed to handle the tea.”

“Not allowed?”

Zuko flushes and rubs the back of his neck.

“I told Uncle Iroh that tea was just hot leaf juice when I was a teenager and he’s never let me handle it since.”

Score: 7.8 / 10

Tags: Alternate Universe, Modern Setting, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Fluff

Title: Zutara Kinktober 2018 

Author: zutaralover94

Summary: Zutara Kinktober 2018! So many kinks! So much smut! One little month!

Tags will be added for each day I do.

Score: 7.5 / 10

Tags: Kinktober, Smut

Title: Lessons

Author: theadamantdaughter

Summary: Zuko and Katara follow the marriage rituals of the Southern Water Tribe. [ for smut week, porn WITH plot ]

"Our spirits, Tui and La, push and pull, give and take… It's said newlyweds become them; they become us. Tui and La bless every marriage with seven virtues, virtues that are significant to the couple, that require the couple to grow and learn in some way. In return, we honor them."

Score: 6.8 / 10

Tags: Zutara Smut Week, Porn with Plot, Smut

Title: The Fifth Column

Author: chromeknickers

Summary: Katara watched the masked figure silently twirl the blade in his hand. The Fifth Column’s greatest assassin had been sent there to kill her or break her, or maybe it was both. Either way, they wanted their answers; it was the reason she had been kidnapped in the first place . . . Or so she thought.

Score: 6.7 / 10

Tags: Alternate Universe, Post-War, Dark, Angst, Smut, Rape/Non-Con References

[werevulvi]

Would you like to explain the nordic model of prostitution? Like what is it, why you dislike it and how it compares to the australian?

Uh, this is a big question, and it was a while ago I read up on those two models. So I had to sit with it for a moment before conjuring up a reply. I don’t know exactly what kinda info you wanted here, so I’ll just overwhelm you with everything I’ve got! Which... isn’t all that much, all things considered. I really don’t have any sorta energy to start digging for sources of it now or anytime soon, but I can ramble on a bit about my past findings and the conclusions that they led me to:

First off, what those models of prostitution are: are essentially sex industry laws that regulate buying and selling of any kinds of sexual services. They're what decide whether it's legal or not to sell/buy and to what extent you can legally do what, in regards to brothels, porn, being your own boss, etc. America has a completely different system of such laws, detached from both the Nordic and the Australian, which is probably one of the most dangerous such systems of laws, for the prostitutes. Although I'm not like SUPER familiar with its exact laws and regulations, I pretty sure it's illegal to sell sex there, which makes it very risky for those who do. In the Nordic model it's legal to sell (but with quite some caveats which I will shortly get into) but illegal to buy. In the Australian model it's legal to sell AND buy, but with safety restrictions regulating the how and to what extent.

Secondly, some highly relevant background info about me: Some years ago, I was actually interested in becoming a sex worker myself, because well, my trauma sought a new, exciting thrill... However, I wanted to do it as legally and safely as I could possibly manage. I also wanted to sell physical sex acts, not just sell foot pics on the internet. So basically I did a ton of research on how to be legal full service prostitute in my country, and to my sheer frustration, found that the Nordic model has so many flaws and contradictions in it that there's no way I could possibly sell sex without running into some serious trouble.

Although PLEASE keep in mind that I'm no longer interested in making prostitution my career!

But also to prove my point (before having even made it yet): even IF I'd still consider becoming a sex worker, I would feel safer doing that in the Netherlands, or possibly even in (certain parts of) America, and most definitely in Australia, than I would in Sweden. Of course it's good if the shitty Nordic model prevents me from starting up such a business, but if that's the only focus here, then you're completely missing a very important, in fact crucial, point: The reason it prevents me from doing so is not because it makes sex work seem more unappealing than it already is, but because the laws around it are unnecessarily FUCKED. That is the literal law putting me in danger, possibly even more so than the john's would, which is a huge failure on part of the government. The government's job should be to protect, not kick and step on people who are already fucking lying down, for daring to lie down to begin with, which the vast majorty of whom did not choose to.

Now, let's get into the issues with the Nordic model that I stumbled into during my research:

1. Although it's technically legal to sell sex, it's illegal to do it at your own home, the client's home, hotels, outdoors, literally any imaginable physical location. Which means prostitutes run a risk of facing eviction and getting arrested for the location (which is every location) they perform their services.

2. You have to pay taxes for the money you earn, like any other "job." However, the catch here is that the only way you can to do this is if you apply for starting your own business as a sex worker, which you're not technically allowed to do (???) by applying for something called an "F kassa" which is basically a form of private company financial set up (very Sweden specific, bureaucratic bullshit) which is the "lowest" and most difficult form of it to work with. Basically by that system, you have to manually calculate your taxes by yourself every month, which has a VERY high risk of fucking it up accidentally, which gets you at a very high liability for accidental fraud. It's also an extremely mentally taxing (sorry for the bad pun) way to pay taxes, unless you're a mathematician. Due to this, most Swedish sex workers do not pay their taxes, which you can probably imagine how living under that kinda stress could do to a person.

3. Because buying sex is still illegal under the Nordic model, prostitutes still have to stay quiet if something bad happens with a client, because giving up clients to the cops hurts their business, as well as increasing the risk of the cops finding more of their clients to bust, and fewer john's wanna go to a prostitute who is not trustworthy.

4. Trafficking is still happening a lot, even in Sweden. But problem is that because any and all such activity is strictly illegal, including brothels and the like, they hide underground and are not found out about until after having done severe damage for many decades... if at all. Pimps etc in Sweden are extremely skilled at keeping their business secret because duh obviously?! Hidden trafficking gets discovered all the time, but they get better at hiding, thus harder to discover.

5. There were a ton more issues I stumbled into, but these were the most concerning ones that really leaped out at me. Other issues includes: not being able to get safety stuff like condoms covered financially unless you go through hell and high water to record for every little rubber you buy and use and what exactly it costed, etc, but even then it's still pretty much impossible in practice. Not allowed to keep your income on a bank account because of the legal issues of where those money come from. The extremely high risk of keeping contact with clients without getting caught, whether you use a phone, e-mail, snailmail, etc.

Conclusions: In my opinion, the Nordic model only makes shit a hell of a lot worse, in an attempt to protect sex workers. But the result is that it only forces people to go underground and hide from the law to protect their business, which goes for both trafficking as well as individual prostitutes with their own businesses. It tries, but fails hard.

Basically, the law says you have to abide by things that are not actually possible to abide by in actual practice. I wrecked my head for months trying to figure out how to be a law-abiding prostitute, but to no avail. It made me not just frustrated for myself, but also worried about sex workers in my country, whether they're trafficked or otherwise forced, or choosing to do it on their own volition. The Nordic model makes sex work dangerous, not only because of the clients possible (or likely) abuse the sex workers might face, but because of the law itself. And that's where I personally think the law has gone very, very wrong. It should protect sex workers, not punish them further and putting them in even more danger.

(Also, although my knowledge of the Nordic model is very Sweden specific, I got the impression that it's flaws are quite similar in other Nordic countries, aside from a few details here and there.)

The Australian model, I have far less knowledge about. I basically just watched a few youtube videos about it and skimmed through maybe half an article, buuuut... what little I heard of it seems to do a far better job at both protecting individual sex workers who work for themselves, AND reducing trafficking, which really spoke to me. Yes, the Australian model allows far more, but that is not at all necessarily bad or dangerous. It allows the shit (trafficking) to float up to the surface much more easily, makes pimps far more careless with their businesses (ie easier to bust them) and can offer a far better safety net for those who (more or less) choose to do it on their own volition. But what exactly is and isn't allowed in that model, I'm admittedly unsure. But a lot of stuff pertaining to prostitution there has been de-criminalised, NOT legalised, and that's a very important point to keep in mind.

But also, I understand that the Australian model cannot possibly be "perfect" by any means. It's probably more so that I understand the Nordic model to be so horrific that whatever the Australian model does differently pretty much cannot possibly be worse. That's how badly I think of the Nordic model. It seriously angers me to the bone, how horrible it is. And thus, I can't help but getting very wrapped up in my emotions about it when I hear radfems praising the Nordic model, when all it does is brushing the inconvenient dust under the carpet, while the Australian model has already done quite some impressive actual cleaning, in the few years that have passed since they de-criminalised prostitution stuff.

The actual real life outcome should matter more than how nice the model looks like in theory. Sweden offers an absolutely terrible living situation for sex workers of any kind in actual practice, despite having such a "nice" system that's "meant" to make it safer for sex workers and reduce trafficking, which it absolutely does not do. Australia literally proved their "more allowing" system actually works in practice to improve the safety for sex workers and to reduce trafficking, despite it looks morally corrupt and too allowing in theory, and that's what matters to me. The outcome. The lives.

[jojosbizarreadventur]

Time’s Crusade: Prologue (00) and Chapter One (01)

also available on AO3 (under emih)

Summary: Yesterday in 2011, your husband Noriaki and close friend Jotaro were both murdered together just months before your university graduations. The day before yesterday, you discovered that your nerve-wracking IUI procedure was successful. Two months before that day, said close friend made a proposition to the both of you due to your husband’s recently-discovered infertility.

Today in 1988, you’re over 20 years into the past of an alternate universe, suddenly tasked with trailing after different versions of your late husband and close friend as they travel with unfamiliar faces to Egypt, determined to confront the man you now work for.

And in the following days, you discover how easy it was for your sentiments to change.

00

Prologue

1988 || Egypt

“My family back in America has a history of entering politics,” the man with the orange robing concluded after his spiel. His fingernails lightly tapped on the cold stem glass before him. “’S not for me, personally.”

Across from him was his blond, brooding boss— a man far beyond his actual age with an interesting penchant for sadistic activities… if it meant he’d get what he’d expressed a desire for. He was a very persistent man, and though he had only awakened less than five years ago, there was already plenty of time for him to outline his next endeavors. The man in the orange robing did not have much knowledge of his boss’s other deeds or requests, nor did he want to know them.

Except for this one, because he was reportedly going to play a prominent role in its execution. For a new hire, he knew of its impressiveness. It was too early to celebrate, however, as he later discovered that the parameters set for him were quite… particular, and this conversation was supposed to clear a few issues up. This was already confirming that today was going to be a relatively uneventful 24th of November.

His boss let out a hum in content.

“Quite the history your lineage has,” his boss observed, mildly intrigued. “Had I bothered to… ‘survive’ the boat trip to America, perhaps I would have encountered that amusing ancestor of yours someday.”

The man in the orange robing cheekily nodded.

Subsequently, his boss pivoted the conversation.

“Your Stand’s abilities,” his boss reaffirmed with a firm tone of voice. “Last time we conversed you only disclosed a brief overview of them, though I’d like to be enlightened even more.”

“What would you like to focus on?” the man with the orange robing asked in anticipation.

It wasn’t often that he’d have such a thorough conversation on his Stand, Take Five. For years he has benefited from anonymity as he learned and practiced the abilities he was born with and aware of— a slight surprise to his boss, nonetheless. To speak of it so freely is… well, it’s taking a bit of time for him to get used to.

His boss’s sharp golden eyes stayed on him.

“Its limitations.”

Yes, of course.

“…It doesn’t have many restrictions, as far as I know,” the man in the orange robing confessed, pursing his lips afterwards.

His boss let out another hum. “Elaborate.”

The man with the orange robing smirked. “Whatever or whoever travels to a different dimension must have the entirety of their body enclosed between the two objects or surfaces that I choose to use. As I am just about finished with the task you’ve assigned to me, uh… I recently had an encounter with Hollis… Haruo Joestar and his daughter in their home in the previous dimension I visited.”

“Hollis Joestar?” his boss repeated, raising a brow in curiosity. He initially showed no sign of recognition towards the name. That must’ve been that dimension’s one of many descendants of JoJo—  Jonathan… if that dimension’s Jonathan was anything like the one he currently owned the body of.

The alternate dimensions themselves show no restrictions in diversity, as he realized from the man in the orange robing’s accounts the other day. In another dimension, his counterpart was apparently living in modern suburbia with some bastard child of his, left behind by one of his feasts. Imagine him, Dio, being constrained to such a setting! He was connected to a Joestar even then, as a counterpart of Jonathan’s great-great-grandson lived right next door.

The man in the orange robing quickly got rid of that Joestar, per his request. That one didn’t even have a Stand, making the kill effortless. Needless to say, Dio slept soundly that day.

“His wife Sadako Kujo is a jazz pianist, away on tour… his teenage daughter Jitsuko attending school until she decided to ditch,” he sourly clarified, snapping Dio back to  this  account. “Haruo— as he calls himself— tried to fight me with his own Stand as Jitsuko aided in the effort. You know, I don’t think Ms. Sadako would be thrilled to find her decapitated husband and her dismembered daughter left to bleed and rot, upon returning. Haruo and Jitsuko were much too righteous, acting as if following after me would prove something of themselves…”

“As all Joestars are,” Dio mockingly moped, before backtracking. “By any chance, did Hollis have a father named Joseph?”

The name had suddenly clicked.

How could it have escaped his mind? Upon ‘awakening’ near the Canary Islands, he spent the time travelling as he recuperated (gladly with the help of willing candidates). One of his first tasks was to find the outcome of the Joestar lineage— it had been nearly a hundred years since the events on that ship, and surely the country girl that Jonathan ended up marrying would’ve drowned while escaping.

In fact, she did not, much to his dismay. He didn’t know where she was found, but she was found and was pregnant, as she had given birth to a son some months after. That son had married and his wife had given birth to the now-old man that dares to constantly watch him. Of course Dio knew that Joseph was watching him— he had been for some time, now, with the help of his recently-acquired Stand. That old intrusive man had made a name for himself as a real-estate mogul and furthered the lineage with a daughter, who also had a son.

Anyhow, he had been keeping tabs.

Hollis Joestar must have been the counterpart of Joseph’s daughter— goodness, the names were even variations of one another. Likewise, Jitsuko would’ve been the counterpart of her son.

“Uh…” the man with the orange robing trailed off with a pensive expression. “I recall him having a mother named Josephine, if that’s what you mean.”

Of course, the only aspect that was different in that dimension was their sexes. If this holds true, however, Dio would have been a woman. If his counterpart still awakens after a century in the deep depths of the ocean and still feels the need to eliminate the rest of the Joestar family, then at least that dimension was staying relatively faithful to this one.

Though…

“I see,” his boss responded, body staying stiff. “What other limitations are you, at the very least, aware of? For example…you exist in the other dimensions as well, do you not? Your abilities are quite unique, after all…”

“Well, yes, of course, I exist in others too,” the man in the orange robing confirmed as a matter-of-fact. “But I’m the only one that has a Stand, thus I’m the only one who can travel.”

As a young teen, he had accidentally encountered a counterpart of himself while trying out his newly-discovered ability of dimension-hopping. Though, that one showed no sign of being a Stand user. Instead, he was far away, taking no notice of his counterpart’s Stand as he competed in a chess competition with another teen that suspiciously resembled his now-boss. Luckily, he had no interest in meeting that chess-playing counterpart.

He had an inkling that the outcome would’ve been disastrous.

—

[STAND NAME] and [STAND MASTER]

 ???

—

Dio hummed in vague interest now. The man in the orange robing definitely had a peculiar ability. Within a year of possessing his Stand and encountering users that now work for him, he had never seen anything like it before. He was just starting to realize the extent— the wide range of Stand abilities, even with his own recently-realized ability to stop time. Fortunately, the ability of dimension-hopping was being utilized by someone who had the wits to use it to his advantage as he dedicated himself to the mission assigned by his boss, Dio. It was as if the mission was perfectly crafted for a man of his caliber… because it was.

“The task that I’ve assigned to you, I believe, was executed wonderfully.”

Based on the very detailed accounts that the man in the orange robing had been graciously giving to him per day, he was well aware of the man’s success. He should expect to be paid handsomely; he definitely deserved it.

“You should be just about finished visiting the dimensions we’ve targeted, then,” Dio continued. Oh, how much he wanted to gloat! He was already feeling the need to assign him another task. If his dedication to this one was any indication of his loyalty to him, Dio, then surely he’d have the chance to milk him of his abilities. Besides, the man already had his bud of cells implanted in his head, so that chance was for certain.

The man in the orange robing tentatively exhaled, pursing his lips.

At this action, his boss suddenly raised a brow. His back straightened just a smidgen— why had the man exhaled in such a manner? Was he just about finished?

He was, wasn’t he?

Before the flesh bud, Dio had a sudden thought of what would happen if the man had never pledged loyalty to him. There could’ve been a chance that he’d encounter one of the Joestar descendants— Joseph and/or his grandson, maybe— and used his abilities to help them instead of him. He would’ve revealed his abilities to them… he would’ve shown them other dimensions containing their counterparts. The counterparts, after all, typically had similar self-interests amongst each other, as he now remembered another one of the accounts that the man in the orange robing had given him. He was also aware of another ability of his— the one where he’d be able to pull objects or even  people  out of another dimension. Thus, as one of the Joestars here already had intentions of seeking him, then perhaps…

That just wouldn’t do.

After the flesh bud, he made sure to prevent that from happening, let alone by a Joestar that wasn’t even from this damn dimension. He wasn’t really in the mood to personally take care of any other Joestar except the ones from this dimension, the ones he has familiarized himself with.

“I should be, but… um, I digress,” the man in the orange robing announced now, voice tight.

He was feeling guilty. His facial expression was giving those thoughts away— he swore that the dimension with the sex-switched Joestars was the last one— he himself had planned this, as well—  but… there was something about that…

Indeed, Dio was curious about what he was going to say next. At the very least, it would be a nice courtesy to know why he wasn’t finished yet. He was already getting a bit off schedule here.

“…Jonathan Joestar’s great-great-grandson will be having a child in another dimension, and he’s the first counterpart to do so. He served as a surrogate father for his friend’s wife, and only mere hours ago did she discover her pregnancy.”

01

A Promise, Part 1

2011 || Japan

November 25 was when it happened. It hasn’t even been a whole fucking week.

The fact that you were managing to get through studying for final exams with that going on— swimming and flying around your head and its thoughts— was a goddamn miracle. You remembered the few times when your eyes would focus on some nondescript item around you, causing your hand to absentmindedly let go of whatever it held. A few acquaintances innocently approached you, asking if you were alright as you crammed in the library or the dining hall (all on the same day, as after a few hours you desperately needed a change of environment).

Besides those places and the convenience store nearby, you didn’t plan to go out anywhere else in public since it happened. Actually, you didn’t even want to go out and show yourself to all of Tokyo. You didn’t bother to show up to any of your classes today, disrupting your perfect informally-kept record of attendance.

Oh, I understand! Finals’ season is just ridiculous.

Hey, we’re gonna graduate soon, aren’t we? Just need to plow through and the year will be up.

Nah, calm down, no worries.

You’re majoring in engineering! Of course it’s going to be overwhelming as hell.

Shouldn’t you be used to that feeling by now?

You should be used to that feeling.

Actually, you already are. Though, it wasn’t test anxiety or whatnot that was bothering the hell out of you. Well, besides the fact that apparently, you come off as someone ridiculously worried about exams, so much so that no one could really identify any other issues with you…

But it hasn’t even been a whole fucking week. Just yesterday, on November 25.

Friday.

You were barely given enough time to process everything.

You actually weren’t even there when it happened, as that day, you were, well… you were four hours away by plane from Tokyo. Even with the distance, you were still too far and too late.

In no way did you want to spend the hard-earned money you got as a research assistant— which wasn’t much to begin with, but hey, it’s money— on a plane trip. However, nausea was slowly starting to kick in during the days before that, so you had no choice unless you ultimately decided to vomit on the way to or on the train.

Iwami-chō was coastal, located in the western region of Japan, and was where your family home was located. No one was staying there at the moment, but it would be inhabited again if your father traveled home from America, or if you had decided to attend a local university instead. You would normally stop by every few months to tend to the plants around your house or see a few old faces. Your husband was fine with that; he sometimes accompanied you even, when he wasn’t busy.

Yeah...

Your husband.

The first thing you missed was Noriaki Kakyoin’s scent, along with his warmth— physical and/or emotional. Now, you know that probably sounds fucking weird, but you’re already finding it hard to abruptly adjust to the lacked presence after being surrounded by it for a few years. You wouldn’t forget how his embraces felt, how his well-defined arms clad in his usual long sleeves would wrap around you tightly.

Or even in other circumstances, where he’d snake a naked arm around you in bed after sex. He’d pull you to his chest as you both retired for the night, skin still slightly sticky with a thin sheet of sweat on your faces, or cum near your thighs and lower abdomens— both fluids you both tried to clean post-orgasm. Beforehand, though, he always liked to savor the sight of your naked body before he’d help clean everything up and drift off to sleep.

He never hesitated to act so lovingly and genuine to you, even while generally being more on the reserved side. Nor did you ever hesitate to reciprocate those feelings. You remembered when he (abashedly) admitted to you that you were one of the few people that he could genuinely be himself around— this occurred sometime during winter break of your first year at university. That list of trustworthy people to Noriaki wasn’t very long in the first place, he said, and you understood. His past, as he also disclosed to you, definitely had an influence on that. Your heart reached out to him— you knew he was a man that experienced a lot throughout his life. The least you could do was to make him look forward to his future.

Wait.

You’re… getting carried away.

—

What happened yesterday happened at around 4 PM. You were still at Iwami-chō, and… you think you were talking to an old classmate of yours who dropped by. Sitting at the heated low table drinking warm tea, reminiscing about high school before you had moved to Tokyo while she opted for the local university. A small part of you became jealous, nonetheless; you remembered the visits to the vast sand dunes and the coastal inlet a short drive away or the walks to and from school on the pavement near the ocean, whiffing the scent of brine almost daily. Your memories here before leaving for university all came back at once.

Though, you couldn’t remember the events of today so vividly anymore, because upon arriving back to Tokyo late at night, everything that happened earlier was immediately wiped from memory. All you started to remember was what happened the second you arrived. To be so innocent and naïve, speaking with a friend and expecting to return to the small apartment you and your husband both shared later that evening, while said man was getting murdered in said place during that time. There was no doubt that he, too, had the same thoughts on when you’d arrive home before he wasn’t capable of thinking any longer.

…You couldn’t believe it when you found out. There was no fucking way, and yet it still happened…

The neighbors had heard a loud commotion coming from your apartment around that time, first mistaking it as your husband and you having sex (which was strange to think about, but… if you were in a hell of a better mood now, you’d be snickering at that assumption— maybe Noriaki would too as he had a hidden knack for that type of humor). Initially, they were extremely—  and you mean extremely—  pissed off to hear such noises coming from the apartment next door/across the hall, especially as some had children they wanted to protect the ears of. They were just about ready to collectively write complaint letters for the building’s manager on you two.

Though their suspicions became gradually more gruesome as they heard objects break, men yelling, walls banging, floor thudding, and whatnot.

Suddenly, the sound died completely.

It became eerily quiet.

…they didn’t like that at all.

Anyway, it was almost 9 PM when you came home.

You remember collapsing to your knees upon arriving, your kneecaps bluntly coming into contact with the hard flooring. They stung— you remembered, somehow— and the skin covering them probably reddened, but that was the least of your worries.

One could imagine your face when you first saw fucking barricade tape in front of the route to yours and Noriaki’s apartment. At least a billion fucking questions swarmed through your mind, all variations of the same one…

What in the ever-loving fuck happened?

Turns out, your neighbors had been the one to call the police while you were away. Initially calling to complain about the noise coming from the apartment in hopes of some police intervention, there was another reason they decided to call.

The neighbors had reportedly heard three different male voices in the apartment, because maybe the walls were a bit thin in this building. Though, they were aware that a woman lived there too… but why weren’t they hearing her voice? Why were there two more men, also? As far as they knew, one man and one woman lived in the apartment, as they both usually left the building around the same time as the neighbors who were fellow university students, possibly-hungover salarymen, or the mothers taking their children out with her as she did errands.

You weren’t alerted of anything while you were in Iwami-chō, so everything became a nasty surprise for you, increasingly becoming more gruesome as the night went on… increasingly making you in denial. Your train of thought started to shut down, refusing to even acknowledge the circumstances. This wasn’t… this wasn’t what you wanted. Never in your life did you actually want this to happen to you— fuck, no one wanted this type of shit to happen to them— but of course, you were one of the unfortunate ones that night.

Why one of them?

Well…

“Let me see my husband!” you uncharacteristically shrieked, trying to advance to the apartment door and barge through it. Your arms were held back by a police officer who rushed over to you, locking your arms behind your back as you tried to use all the strength you developed over the years to get the  hell out of that strong officer’s hold and see the man you had only just seen this morning.

This morning, like every other morning, Noriaki had his bed-hair— red locks poking out here and there while the voluminous bang hung on the side of his face was unbelievably frizzy. He also had the cases of morning breath and morning wood, which always made you snicker.

This morning, which only happens if he has time, Noriaki offers to cook breakfast. He knows that like him, you usually leave the house at a designated early time for class, grabbing the most convenient food item for your commute from yogurt to pre-sliced fruit. Though, as you had no class today, and you were also traveling back to Iwami-chō for the day, you decided to squeeze in the rare luxury of sitting down to eat breakfast with your husband.

This morning, which he always loves to do, Noriaki plants kisses on your neck and collar bones, everywhere on your face, and on your knuckles. He nuzzles his face into your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist; though, as you’re a little shorter than him, you sort of feel bad by how he has to tilt his head in order for his chin to reach your shoulder. His embraces are usually warm, tight, though this time he’s a little cautious in his hug, knowing that there’s life starting to grow inside you.

This morning, and all mornings, afternoons, and evenings, he tells you he loves you. He can’t wait to be a father. He lightly rubs your lower abdomen; albeit, without any sign of a bump, but he knows there will be one at some point. He wishes you a safe trip to your hometown, wishing that he could go with you, but he can’t. He has class today. He never liked skipping class, despite his close friend opting to do so nearly every day back in high school, as Noriaki recounted.

You understood his wishes, but you knew that he’ll be back for you when you return later. He always was.

He always was, he always was…

But why wasn’t he coming back now?

“Let— me— see— my— husband!” You emphasized even more, now. You didn’t care anymore if anyone nearby found your shrieks jarring. You kept repeating this—  your voice was hoarse, your limbs were getting tired from trying and trying, just hoping you’d get to have even one last look at your husband. It didn’t matter about the state he was in; you barely even considered the chance that there may not even be enough of him left to actually see.

Of course, you fucking sobbed. Your cheeks were damp with tears that just settled on your skin after the rounds of sobs, but even as your eyes stung, you stared at the door. You stared at the door in longing, hoping— just hoping that your husband would be warm-blooded and well, opening the door and sauntering through and over to you. His lean body would be against yours as you both embraced one another, your head resting on his chest.

The front door of yours and Noriaki's apartment opened.

Two body bags were being carried— wait. Fuck, hold on. Why… why were there… two…

Your breath hitched in your throat, limbs freezing in place upon realization.

The other bag contained a body that was quite longer than the other one, as if… as if… no, no, no, fuck no… as if it was meant for a person of uncommonly tall stature.

You were, quite literally, going to have a massive fucking breakdown.

Noriaki wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone— he wasn’t alone at all. Jotaro was with him— it had to be Jotaro, because who the fuck was as tall as Jotaro here. Jotaro was keeping him company while you were gone for the day… he doesn’t usually have class on this day, either—  oh my fucking God—

The sight of your husband— well, you didn’t really have to see what remained of him to know that it was Noriaki in the other bag— made you queasy. Normally, you could stomach this sort of stuff, but you could zip down that bag if you were permitted to and probably both cry and vomit at the sight.

You didn’t want to believe it.

You didn’t want to believe that Noriaki wasn’t alive, but dead inside a bag and being carried out by gloved and protected individuals. You didn’t want to believe that Jotaro was dead, either. You didn’t want to believe that both of them were murdered at the same time, at the same place. You didn’t want to believe that you’d never see them again…

Your legs felt weak. Hushed conversations and worried whispers from your adult neighbors were all surrounding your ears, but none of their words were distinguishable. You could practically feel the irritation, grief, and impatience radiating off of them. Your eyes didn’t focus on anyone in particular anymore. Law enforcement workers were walking in and out with equipment, and every time you’d see that door open, you’d see varying-sized splatters of blood and broken or fallen furniture through that opening.

Your mind went blank as tears effortlessly flowed down your cheeks.

A lot happened afterwards, but you were pretty much on autopilot for the next few hours.

You wished it was just a mere nightmare.

Yet, you didn’t even sleep that night, rendering that wish useless.

Well, actually, the lack of sleep was common practice for you, as you already had the tendency to stay up late at night just studying or carrying out various projects. Though during these times, you were still able to fit about an hour or two of sleep— it was fine.

This night, however, you actually didn’t sleep.

At all.

Initially, the events you witnessed were replaying over and over again as tears continued to collect, sting, and flow down from your eyes, wetting your pillow and the futon.

Though, eventually, your mind kept rewinding to events that you weren’t bound to forget any time soon.

Fall to Winter, 2008

It was mid-September— the start of the second semester— when you met Noriaki for the first time.

As it was yours and his first year of college, you were both taking an introductory programming class, and by chance ended up sitting next to one another.

By now, you were just about getting used to typical university life— studying, exams, more studying, some use of office hours, more exams, even more studying— with some extra room for clubs, research, and trying not to bawl from stress in your bedroom. As an engineering major, your GEs had much more weight than other majors, so you were frantically trying to keep up with your studies as your high school friends— non-STEM majors now— were going out and not even giving any semblance of a shit about university.

It didn’t help that despite you and your high school friends all coming from Iwami-chō, most of you got into different universities throughout Tokyo. You wouldn’t be able to see everyone else as often due to the distance. Even while cramming, you couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely at times.

That is until Noriaki decided to sit next to you in that programming class. To be fair, he did admit to you later that there weren’t many seats left in the room that day.

Maybe that was a good thing. Whatever those superstitious blog posts you’ve occasionally come across in the past spewed about the existence of fate seemed to come back to memory.

He, too, had felt some inexplicable impulse to sit next to you. Initially, it piqued his interest— he played with the idea of you being like him, but he didn’t mind it any longer as you showed none of the signs.

Anyway, for the first month, neither of you spoke a word to each other. At the very least, you did acknowledge each other’s presence, such as making what-the-fuck side glances at each other when the professor says something out of both of your grasps. It was an oddly comforting coping mechanism to the rigor of the course.

You occasionally glance over at him— his quick hand as he writes notes, or when he puts on his black-framed reading glasses right before class begins. Early on, you did notice the little cherry earrings that he wears, which oddly worked for him. Green seemed to be his favorite color, as different hues of it were often incorporated into his outfits.

Likewise, he notices your fully-focused and pensive expression as you absorb all of the professor’s lecture. He remembered trying to think at one point of just how many oversized flannels you owned, as you wore variations of them a lot— you wearing flannel reminded him a bit of the old grunge fads he remembered seeing in American media as a kid (or, as Noriaki would later joke to you two or three years later, like the other earthy yama girls he’d see around campus), but he doubts you were intending to follow that style so religiously.

One day, however, Noriaki did something that surprised you.

He used some old scratch paper for outlining, but at the top in his  perfect handwriting:

This class is tough  、  right? — Noriaki

He discreetly passes it to you as the professor continues to drone on about the new functions you all had to learn. You’re taking a few notes when you see the paper in your peripheral view, eyes slowly widening. Pausing from writing the next bullet point, you slowly glance from the paper to its sender Noriaki. He was staring back at you with lavender-grey eyes— something you hadn’t really taken the time to notice until now due to his reading glasses, but they were gorgeous.

You wait for the professor to turn to face the screen, which in that case you efficiently take the paper from him. At the top, you saw his words in his handwriting, which frankly made your characters look like shit.

You  do  write back, though:

Definitely! So many functions to learn  。  Syntax is too wordy  。 Headache-inducing  。:( ~  You

You swiftly hand the paper back to him, attempting to make it as unsuspicious as possible. Fortunately, no one really notices, as everyone else around you two is hastily writing down the notes. Anyway, you knew the information would be in the textbook, and you were betting that he probably knew too.

He’s silently snickering at your written response— you see the outer corners of his eyes crinkle as he grins, which was actually really cute— and he’s already writing his own response before handing the paper back to you.

Seriously that man had some nice handwriting.

You were probably blushing already; you lifted the back of your hand to your face as you read his response, feeling the sudden warmth that arose in your cheeks— damnit.

I agree!  (╬ಠ益ಠ)  !!!!!

[LOL]  Anyway what degree are you studying for? — Noriaki

You stifled your giggle at his detailed drawing as you wrote:

Electrical and Electronic Engineering

Yeah I know I’m lame… ~ You

You swore that the professor looked in both yours and Noriaki’s direction right as you were about to give the paper back to him. Though it was merely the glare of light against the middle-aged man’s lenses, and he actually wasn’t looking at you two at all. Slowly exhaling in relief, you hand him the paper, knowing you both were thinking the same thing.

Noriaki’s eyes widened a bit as he wrote another response.

What??? It’s actually cool

I’m pursuing Computer Science  。  I want to do game development one day 。

That’s   lame!!  >:O  — Noriaki

And you both do this for the rest of class, definitely getting noticed by the professor who just decides that it’s really not worth his time to call you both out at that point.

that sounds super cool  、  what are you even talking about? ~ You

You think so?  — Noriaki

Yes!!! ~ You

。

。

。

Hey so I see your name already… my name is Noriaki Kakyoin

You wanna review each other’s code?  

Do you want to be ‘partners’ for the required peer review?

I think it will be really helpful  、  especially since we’re in related majors too

also since we sit next to each other ^_^

You snicker at the first question he wrote and crossed out— due to it sounding more like an innuendo— but you notice at the bottom… wait, oh—

It was his phone number.

Noriaki lets you keep the paper as the class comes to an end, the sound of everyone packing their utensils and whatnot filling the room. He’s going to head to his next class, he says aloud, as you were sliding your notebook inside your backpack, making you realize that that was the first time he had actually spoken to you aloud. His voice had a very warm timbre to it— it was really nice— and you glance up at him.

“Okay,” you responded, smiling at him. “What class?”

He’s lightly fixing the voluminous wavy bang on the side of his face as he answers you. You hadn’t really taken notice of that part of his hair either. Basically, there wasn’t much that you really took the time to observe about him. In the beginning, Noriaki was just the guy that chose to sit next to you in a class, and you didn’t think anymore would come from that.

Yet, it’s as if every feature of his was being thrown at you all at once— his slender body, his defined arms (his slim-fitted sweater was making it so obvious), his angular jawline, his… fuck, don’t look down there.

“Calculus,” he exaggeratedly groaned, snapping you out of your thoughts. Noriaki didn’t seem to notice you eyeing him— well, if he did, he’s definitely not saying anything.

Wait, was he blushing?

You did giggle at his tone of voice, though, as he continued to speak in a relatively calm manner. “I’m here on campus until dinner time. I’ll be exhausted by then.”

“Not doubting that at all,” you cheekily commented. “I wish you luck… Noriaki. Hopefully, you know, our Single Variable Calculus class next won’t kill us before the semester ends.”

You wanted to laugh at his surprise with your words.

—

You met Noriaki’s friend Jotaro Kujo about a month after befriending him.

He wasn’t the most talkative man— something you quickly learned— but you could tell that he and Noriaki were very close. This became more obvious as you realized that it was as if Noriaki could read Jotaro’s thoughts and possible responses to anything he liked or annoyed him, for example.

Of course, Jotaro didn’t like that. Though, as Noriaki explained, it was easy enough to see right through that attitude of his.

On a whim, Noriaki decided to invite both you and Jotaro out to get coffee when you three weren’t busy. You and Noriaki had recently finished working on some coding project together a few days ago— which you both aced— and he thought going out sometime would be a good way to celebrate.

No, not that kind of ‘going out’. Though, you occasionally did play with the idea of you dating him, despite its unlikeliness.

You were certain that he just viewed you as a friend, someone he could rely on while you two were bearing the brunt of heavy workloads. He text-messaged you on his new model of cellphone— a recent birthday gift from his parents— and oftentimes discussed school-related matters. Usually, it was among the lines of clarification for due dates or specific requirements for assignments and projects. Never about anything else. Your relationship with Noriaki was strictly platonic… which was exactly how you tried to convince yourself.

Of course, the ‘what-ifs’ returned when he text-messaged you about something other than… you don’t know, using Swing or complaining about generics. Embarrassment quickly swelled up once you noticed your almost-immediate responses— totally not from surprise because Noriaki asked you to go somewhere with him other than the library— but it slowly dissipated as the conversation went on.

Noriaki: Hey  、  do you want to head out to that café near Rinshinomori Park later?

[Delivered at 16:32]

You: Hi! So you mean the one like 10 mins away from campus?  

[Delivered at 16:32]

Noriaki: Yeah    

[Delivered at 16:32]

You: My friend’s sister runs that café ww but yes sure (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[Delivered at 16:33]

Noriaki: That’s good!! Also, I didn’t know that ww

And if you don’t mind  、  I’d like to have a good friend of mine come too

He doesn’t like going out too often  Σ(-᷅_-᷄ ๑ )  wwww but I asked him and he actually said yes

Finally  

[Delivered at 16:35]

You: wwwww I don’t mind

Who is it?

[Delivered at 16:36]

“You said the sister of… your friend runs this place?” Noriaki remembered.

You nodded, silently thanking him as he chivalrously held the tempered glass door open for you. “Yeah— the one who swims for Hosei’s swim team.”

As you both had just finished taking an exam for your damned Calculus class today, you two decided to head to the café together. You waved at the owner, a woman only a few years your senior happily waving back as she held a canister of matcha powder.

Your friend, the sibling of the owner, was actually a friend of a friend; regardless, you all were treated the same by the owner as any other paying customer. There had been several occasions where you were invited to meet up with them and the rest of your friends here, though you had only gone about twice during the previous semester due to your cramped schedule.

On the other hand, were you feeling a bit guilty taking up the first chance of going here— by mere coincidence— with Noriaki, despite that? Was this the best time to start feeling conflicted about showing up in the first place?

“Oh, it looks like he showed up already.”

Noriaki tapped your shoulder, cocking his head a bit in the direction of his friend. Snapping out of your guilt-ridden thoughts, your gaze suddenly followed.

There— he was sitting at the back corner of the café with his shoulders hunched over. You could see the long, large white coat that he wore, along with the white cap that had its bill pulled down to cover the top half of his face. His long legs— clad with black slacks— were stretched out under the table, his feet already reaching the back legs of the chair right across from him. From what you could observe based on how his unruly hair stuck out, the back of his hat was ripped. Surely, it was on purpose.

The last time you’d seen that style was… a long time ago— as in, when you guys were barely born— and you couldn’t help but silently snicker to yourself.

He glanced up, smirking at the sight of Noriaki. However, the fact that his red-haired friend brought company finally registered in his mind, and his stare slowly landed on you— the shorter young woman with the oversized coat. You couldn’t tell what color eyes he had, but you swore that his eyes widened for just a moment before narrowing at the sight of you.

Hm.

You already didn’t know what his deal was, because he did not look anywhere near happy to see you.

Trailing behind Noriaki, you both approached the wooden table. You momentarily stood at a distance and snickered as you saw him and his friend do some handshake involving fist-bumps. It was pretty cute, to be honest. Then, glancing over his shoulder, Noriaki gestured over at you and introduced you to his friend. All that was received in response was some eye-blinking and a curt nod, yet you didn’t hesitate to give him a small wave with your hand.

“This is my friend from high-school, Jotaro Kujo,” the red-haired man introduced him as you both situated yourselves. Incidentally, you had to sit right across from Jotaro, while Noriaki sat on your right. “But he goes to Kaiyodai.”

“Oh, really? What’s your degree in?” you suddenly asked Jotaro in surprise, eyes widening.

Due to entrance exams and research for college prep last year, you were familiar with that school’s engineering departments, despite being geared towards marine technology. In fact, you probably would’ve considered going there if you didn’t pass the exam for your current school. Just your luck that Noriaki was friends with another engineer, though—!

“—Marine Biology.”

“…oh.”

That was how you replied after a moment, nodding slowly as you gave him a dumbfounded expression. You were trying your best to hide your disappointment, but you suppose that it was your fault for jumping to conclusions so quickly.

Jotaro grunted in response.

“You don’t sound too happy about that,” he observed, frowning. His voice was a rich baritone, but his tone wasn’t anywhere near warm like Noriaki’s.

You purse your lips, silently cursing to yourself.

Geez, you were really hoping he didn’t pick up on your underwhelmed thoughts, but you probably weren’t making much of an effort to conceal any corresponding emotions. Your thoughts were not connected to the fact that he was doing marine biology— you thought that stuff was pretty cool— but were, admittedly, teetering towards selfishness.

Jotaro’s impression of you, on the other hand, was quickly souring. Were you going to judge him for his choice of degree or something? People being haughty weren’t foreign to him; Noriaki himself displayed such traits on occasion, which usually just made Jotaro roll his eyes. Though, you probably met Noriaki during one of those occasions.

Suddenly, he’s wondering where the hell Noriaki even met you. He’s not in the mood to deal with some woman who looks down on people only because of their university degree. What else would you look down on?

“Um, no, sorry, that’s not— not what I meant to come off as,” you began cautiously, looking directly into his blue-green eyes this time. “I… I know about their engineering departments.”

Jotaro slowly blinks at you, broad shoulders relaxing all of a sudden.

Perhaps you weren’t regarding the wonderful scientific study of marine biology with disdain. Though, that alone didn’t convince Jotaro.

Your brows furrowed, however.

Did you already offend him to the point of being tense? You barely conversed with Noriaki’s friend for ten minutes, and there’s a high chance you’re already on his hit list. Although Noriaki was friends with the both of you, he had been friends with Jotaro for much, much longer than with you. You were sure that he’d prioritize Jotaro’s feelings before yours solely because of that.

Jotaro cleared his throat, ignoring his previous thoughts towards you. “Oh, yeah. Maritime Systems, Marine Electronics & Mechanical, and Logistics & Information. What they do is pretty interesting. I don’t know too much about it, though.”

“Ah, yeah…” You scratched the back of your neck, nervously chuckling. Maybe it was best to put that slip-up behind you. “I’m doing Electrical & Electronics at Tokodai, so I thought… you know, you’d be doing engineering too…”

Jotaro let out a curt hum in response.

He gestured to both you and Noriaki, though the latter was avoiding your eyes. Albeit, he was giving all of your orders to the server who just appeared— Noriaki knew that Jotaro liked espressos like he did, while you told him what you wanted on the train ride here— but he intermittently gave Jotaro a pointed look.

“So you two met at school…”

“Yes,” Noriaki interjected after ordering, hoping to dissipate the tension between you two. He noticed your surprise from being cut off, as you were going to respond initially, though he chose not to comment on it in the event that he’d worsen things. “Yes, we did. We’re partners for our programming class.”

Jotaro slowly nodded, refusing to take his hardened eyes off of you. You lightly tapped your fingers on the table surface, avoiding his stare.

The red-haired man sighed.

He could already tell that, yet again, Jotaro met someone that ruffled his feathers.

“Ah, anyway, um…” he began, eyes darting between you and Jotaro again. Both of you blinked at Noriaki, puzzled by the hesitant expression he suddenly wore. “Eh… Jotaro. You’re… wearing different pants than the ones you usually wear.”

Jotaro absentmindedly picked at the collar of his black turtleneck. He’s suddenly reminded of eating the tagliatelle al ragù that his mother made and dropped off for him earlier, along with the hissed swears he let out when he spilled some of the noodles onto his pants and the rug beneath him.

“I stained my white pants,” he commented with a sour expression, trying to drown out the sudden sound of Noriaki’s snickers. “I haven’t worn these pants in a while.”

“They look a little like the pants from our old school uniform,” Noriaki observed, quickly glancing under the table to take a look. Jotaro gave him a deadpanned look, though he was even less thrilled when you opted to look under too, noticing how he— for some reason— wore two belts patterned with tessellated triangles. “…they’re not from a school uniform set, right?”

He scoffed. “Of course not. My old man bought these pants for me as a gift for Christmas last year— some designer American brand… you know how he is. I’m only wearing them as a last resort… I had them shoved somewhere in the back of my closet.”

“How thoughtful of you,” the redhead sarcastically complimented.

What Jotaro said made you raise a brow, so you decided to speak up. “You celebrate Christmas?”

Now, the black-haired man’s gaze was directed at you once again. Blue-green eyes pierced into your own, staring for a moment as his face had an unreadable expression.

He sighed.

“Yes.”

And that was all he replied to you, though you expected more of an explanation.

You slowly blinked at him, waiting for said elaboration. It never arrived. Both of you were awkwardly staring at each other until Noriaki cleared his throat to speak in Jotaro’s place.

“Jotaro’s mother’s side of the family— including his grandfather— is American,” Noriaki explained to you softly, briefly giving Jotaro a pointed look yet again due to his taciturnity. “Or, well, eh, American, but natively British and Italian—“

While refusing to stop staring— no, he was glaring— at you (what the hell), Jotaro abruptly and monotonously interjected, “—I’m half White.”

Well, that explained a lot. Like how he seemed like he could tower over every male in Japan, or how his face had hints of Eurocentric features, or how he pretty much seemed like he had the genes of a family that could bench press a fucking airplane.

You blinked quickly at him.

“So you must’ve learned English too when you were younger, no?” you inquired curiously. While living in the old, rural part of Japan for the first few years of being in the country, you haven’t really met a lot of native English speakers— not that it bothered you. You suppose that as alumni of a high school in a major metropolitan area, Noriaki and Jotaro would have more exposure to the language.

“Eh… sure,” Jotaro replied, uncharacteristically offhanded. All of a sudden, his glare was nonexistent, nor was he directly focused on you anymore.

Noriaki rolled his eyes. “He basically never paid attention during English class in high school, nor did he actually do the homework.”

Jotaro irritatedly sighed, and you swore a blush crept on his cheeks. Though, if it did, he was lucky that the bill of his hat covered most of it now that he pulled it down lower. “I didn’t need to,” he gruffly insisted. “I can understand English.”

“We’re speaking Japanese right now and we still had to take classes for twelve years,” Noriaki reminded exasperatedly.

The black-haired man grunted, avoiding both Noriaki’s deadpanned face and your own amused one.

Eventually, the coffee meant for the three of you arrived, its aroma wafting in front of you. As time went on— really slowly, you add— you started to observe a pattern as you all drank.

Noriaki spoke the most as you came in a close second, while all that Jotaro offered in your conversations were nods, hums, grunts, or one-word responses. When you would speak, usually to contribute to whatever Noriaki said before, you could notice Jotaro staring you down like a hawk. As if there’d be a time when you’d slip-up again as you talked, Jotaro was looking for yet another reason to dislike you.

And each time he’d done so, Noriaki would be on the brink of glaring back at him in response.

“I’m heading to the toilet,” you told Noriaki later as you began to stand up from your chair. Your coffee mug was only half-full at this point. “It won’t take long.”

“Alright,” he replied, smiling at you. Jotaro’s brows furrowed as you stood up and walked away. You left your coat and small backpack on the seat of the chair.

Turning his head to see where you were headed, which was the hallway to the bathroom, Jotaro whipped his head back to Noriaki. The redhead blinked back at him. He had been meaning to check up on his friend ever since you and him both arrived, because he clearly looked unsettled by your presence. This wasn’t new to Noriaki, however. Jotaro would easily get irritated by meeting new people the second they spoke, though he’d calm down considerably once he became better acquainted with them. It was a long process, but it happened.

All of a sudden, Star Platinum was manifested behind him.

Noriaki gave Jotaro a look of disbelief. This was a first.

Just how much did he dislike you already? He had never gotten his Stand out while meeting people before— which was already a risk by itself— but today of all days, he decides to summon it in a fucking coffee shop. Who knows if they’d end up getting into a quarrel with anyone else like them here?

“Who is that?” Jotaro hissed, using the purple humanoid Stand to double-check, ensuring that you were actually no longer in their proximity. Luckily, no one else in the shop seemed to notice its presence besides him and Noriaki, so that was one less issue to worry about. Star Platinum didn’t go very far— only to the beginning of the hallway— and noticed your absence. You weren’t lying, after all.

The last thing he wanted was for you to return, however, having forgotten something like— he didn’t know, tampons or some shit— and hearing him talk about you. There was also the possibility of you seeing Star Platinum if you returned, though he knew that his and Noriaki’s abilities were rare. Even if you  were  like them— which you weren’t, as Jotaro has already inferred— you’d probably pretend like you weren’t.

That’s what all the others do, anyway.

Noriaki massaged his temples with one hand. “I already told you— it’s the girl from my Java class. We formally met last month, even though we’ve been sitting next to each other since the semester started  and put your fucking Stand away.”

“Yet you invited her to be… with us.” Star Platinum had already faded out of view, though Noriaki craned his neck a bit to make sure.

Jotaro really hadn’t changed one bit since high school. Granted, it hasn’t even been a year since graduation, and the memory of having to wear tailored suits for the event and celebrating afterwards was still fresh in Noriaki’s mind. He knew that Jotaro wasn’t exactly the type of person to completely change his attitude once he got to university.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” the redhead replied, brows creasing. “I like her and—“

Jotaro interjected with a raised brow, “—you like her?”

“I—“ Noriaki abruptly paused, suddenly realizing how that statement began. His face started to heat, color resembling his own hair. “That’s not what I— eh— um…“

His black-haired friend gave him a deadpanned look before rubbing his face with one hand, his hat being slightly pushed up in the process.

“Good grief.”

The redhead abashedly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Look, don’t ‘good grief’ me—“ Noriaki’s face scrunched up a bit, air exhaling through his nostrils as he silently fumed at his slip-up. “That’s… ugh, okay. I don’t want to, um… I don’t want to come off as some desperate loner to her.”

“Have you already?”

Noriaki rolled his eyes.

“No,” he boldly responded before backtracking. “…at least I hope not. I’d die if I already have.”

Another deadpanned look from Jotaro as he sipped his espresso.

“Jotaro, I’ve only known her for about two months,” Noriaki explained, gesturing with both hands on the table beside his now-empty cup. “This is the first time that I’ve done something with her that  isn’t programming-related. I’m surprised she even said ‘yes’.”

Jotaro merely grunted in response, cueing Noriaki to continue speaking.

“I don’t want her to think that I’m… I don’t know, using her or, eh… leading her on purely for the sake of our grades, or… I guess something like that, you know?” he expressed bitterly.

“Noriaki, you just said earlier that you don’t want to come off as some ‘desperate loner’, yet now you’re saying that you don’t want to seem like you’re leading her on,” Jotaro dryly pointed out. “Those two actions don’t sound mutually exclusive, especially since we’re talking about you— self-proclaimed ‘epic gamer’ here…”

He started to trail off as a smirk arose on his face. Noriaki couldn’t help but titter with an amused glint in his eyes, even while he kicked Jotaro in the ankle right under the table.

“Stop it,” he amusedly dismissed.

“I’m serious,” Jotaro continued, vague hints of amusement still in his tone as he reached down to rub his ankle. “I think you should be honest with yourself, particularly about your feelings.”

Noriaki narrowed his eyes at his friend. “You aren’t even honest with your own feelings.”

“We aren’t talking about me here.”

“I’m not the one who always insulted my mom when she gave her goodbye smoochy to you before going to school, even though she knew you really cared—”

“—shut up,” Jotaro interjected, another blush creeping on his cheeks, though he hid his surprise  and embarrassment with a glare. How he managed to forget that he used to walk to school with Noriaki nearly every day— when he didn’t ditch— was a mystery to him. “That’s different.”

“No, it’s not,” Noriaki simply denied. “But… you’re right, though, about being honest about my feelings because— I mean, eh, I… I do like her. I like her very much— I… she’s smart, funny, warm… she seems like the type of person to really care about everyone, and makes everyone feel at ease… you know?”

Jotaro quirked a brow.

Hearing his red-haired friend speak so… fondly about someone was so strange. That lovey-dovey language… who even was Noriaki? Who the hell was Jotaro speaking with? That same Noriaki, the one who bothered to truly befriend only him in high school because of their shared and shamed ability? The one who turned occasionally up his nose at anyone and anything that didn’t meet whatever standards he had? The one who also liked watching baseball games, jammed out to Sting, and played with fruit every time he’d eat it?

Perhaps.

“Huh… you really do like her.”

“…yeah.”

Noriaki was beyond flustered at this point. Though, he guesses he should’ve expected that he’d be the one to change first upon entering university, between the two of them.

“I mean…” the black-haired man continued, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “I personally don’t know if that’s how I’d describe her— I don’t know her that well. If you see her that way, considering you’ve known each other for a while, well… ah…”

“It’s not weird, is it?” Noriaki suddenly inquired, brows creasing in worry.

Jotaro was caught off guard by his words.

“What? N— no. It’s  not  weird. How the hell is that weird?”

Noriaki backtracked. “No— it’s just… you know. I’ve never… had feelings like this before. I’m not exactly an expert here.”

“Neither am I,” his friend gruffly confessed, absentmindedly playing with a nearby napkin sheet. At least Noriaki was self-aware about his situation, Jotaro thought. “But as I said, I do know you have to be honest with yourself about these kinds of things—“

Another kick in the ankle made Jotaro hiss in pain as he spoke. Noriaki subtly quirked his eyebrows in your direction. He conveniently ignored his friend’s glare and clenched jaw. You had just walked out of the hallway, seeing Jotaro’s head hung a little lower and Noriaki’s warm smile as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Sorry if I took too long,” you apologized as you got yourself seated again. “I was helping this tourist out in the restroom, you know how they are…”

Jotaro lifted his head to eye you yet again.

“No, no, you’re fine,” Noriaki calmly dismissed with a wave of a hand and a smirk. He glanced over at Jotaro again, who resorted to narrowing his eyes at him.

As you settled back into your wooden chair, your eyes slowly traveled from Noriaki to Jotaro, and vice versa. Pursing your lips, you couldn’t help but feel something off all of a sudden. Maybe they met someone they disliked while you were gone? A spilled order? Noriaki’s green utility parka nor Jotaro’s impeccable and long white coat showed any signs of stain. So…

“Ah… did something… happen while I was gone?” you asked cautiously, eyes now darting between the two.

Jotaro merely continued to stare, slowly using his foot to apply pressure on Noriaki’s brown boot. Noriaki pursed his lips, feeling the weight of his black-haired friend’s oxford-clad foot. He knew exactly what Jotaro was thinking… what he wanted him to say, to be specific.

“No— eh, nothing happened,” he hastily responded, quickly lifting a hand to fix his voluminous bang. His hand was starting to tremble; he hoped you didn’t notice his swelling nervousness. “We were just talking.”

After a moment of hesitation, you nodded in response.

You heard Jotaro grunt across from you.

Turning your head to him, you could see that he averted his eyes. He rested his chin on his palm as he propped his elbow up on the table, staring at some indistinct area on the hardwood floor. The indistinct sounds of chatter from the other café occupants filled all of your ears, as the three of you didn’t bother to comment on whatever happened any longer. ‘Just talking’ didn’t cut it for you, if you had to be honest, but you doubt you could figure out what was really going on without potentially making the situation worse. You were sure that it wasn’t any of your business, either.

All of a sudden, you felt as if a breeze had drifted past you. It wasn’t the entrance, however, as you three were all too far from that intermittently-opening door. Your back abruptly started to feel a lot colder, as if you sat directly in front of an open industrial freezer. Though, you didn’t mind it as you chose to speak up again.

“Ah, well…” you began, giving both Noriaki and Jotaro a small smile. “Anyway, uh, about the tourist I was helping out in the restroom. She was very nice— a tourist from Italy, she told me. She was telling me about wanting to bring her uncle Caesar here to Japan, but… he’s quite old, and he’s heard bad stories from his longtime best friend, apparently. So she decided to bring her nephew Bruno— yeah, I know, I see both of your faces. I don’t even know why she bothered to tell me such personal details, what a bizarre woman…”

As the time together went on, there was one thing you had no clue about. Jotaro had manifested Star Platinum with the sole purpose of glaring you down from behind when  he  wasn’t able to.

There was at least one thing you were able to figure out, however.

—

You were certain that Noriaki’s friend didn’t like you very much.

“I’m pretty sure your friend doesn’t like me very much,” you told Noriaki in verbatim afterwards.

You were both walking back to the train station together, where you’d then part ways. At this time, Noriaki already had his own apartment, though he apparently did the apartment-hunting with Jotaro and even took advice from Jotaro’s real-estate tycoon grandfather. On the other hand, you were currently rooming with your old high school friend as it was nearly impossible for you to rent property as a non-citizen. You were a bit embarrassed by your predicament, even if it would eventually be solved in less than two years.

The redhead shook his head, tittering. It seemed like he’s heard those words before.

“No, no, it’s just… give him time to warm up to you. He’s like that to everybody, don’t worry.”

You raised a brow at him.

“Everybody? Even you?” you repeated incredulously. When he merely nodded, your brows creased in confusion. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, no, I am,” Noriaki replied as a matter-of-fact. “We didn’t start off on the right foot— he was a bit of an ass in high school, but not so much anymore.”

“How so?” you inquired, before backtracking. “I mean… how was he an ass in high school? I wasn’t, ah… sorry, I didn’t mean that as if I thought he was an ass  now  because he’s not— um, yeah.”

Noriaki chuckled at the sight of you awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck.

You wanted to waste away at this moment. The last thing you wanted was for him to think that you were blatantly insulting his friend, because you weren’t intending to at all. Though, to be fair, he did seem rather unfriendly to you. Maybe he was just shy or something? You couldn’t blame him for something like that. But if he  wasn’t  shy and  was  intentionally acting like that to you, well…

“No, it’s alright,” he calmly dismissed, throwing you off guard. “Jotaro just… has a hard time communicating with people about how he feels. Instead, he sort of just assumes that everyone can easily read his emotions, so he doesn’t feel like he has to make an effort to be expressive… you know?”

Oh.

Nodding slowly, you replied with an ounce of hesitation. This time, you were really trying to be cautious of your words. “So… is that why he acted so… cold?”

He sighed, quickly rubbing his bare hands together. “Yes— but like I said, just, ah… give him time to warm up to you. Jotaro tends to be pretty paranoid about meeting new people— like when he met me— but after spending time together, we’ve become used to each other’s company and became good friends. He’s a really nice person once you get to know him.”

“…I see.”

Maybe he was right, you were thinking. He had been friends with him for a long time so it made sense that he’d know most— if not all— of Jotaro’s idiosyncrasies. Jotaro managed to warm up to Noriaki, and though you didn’t actually know how long that took, it happened regardless. If the redhead was true to his word— which you couldn’t really doubt— you better be prepared for a friendship with the quiet, buff marine biologist-to-be. He’d better be prepared for one with you too: the currently-broke, immigrant engineer-to-be.

You sighed, shoving your hands into your pockets. It was a long day, and after that godawful calculus test and the coffee break with Noriaki and Jotaro, all you wanted now was to return to yours and your friend’s apartment. Maybe your friend was already home, preparing dinner. You practically had the smell of the same food he constantly liked to grill implanted in your senses.

Noriaki, on the other hand, wished that he’d be able to walk with you for longer. He liked your presence. Your perfume smelled quite nice— that was a weird thought— and he enjoyed seeing how expressive your face was when you would talk. Every furrow of the brow when something confused you, how your eyes seemed to gleam like stardust when you spoke of something that you were passionate about, or the pleasing sound of your laugh as you told him weird and/or funny stories.

At some point, he wondered if you noticed how physically close you both had gotten while walking, elbows nearly bumping one another. In fact, you did notice, and it was making you blush.

That time, you avoided meeting Noriaki’s eyes for a moment.

Little did you two know, however, these walks would be happening much more often, to the point where he’d go the opposite route just to walk you back to yours and your friend’s apartment. Most of the time, your friend would already be home and calmly welcomed you back. He and Noriaki would give awkward but courteous nods to one another.

You recalled the time that Noriaki asked what your friend’s deal was, which made you more amused than offended. It occurred to Noriaki that you were, in fact, aware of the subtle awkwardness between him and your friend/roommate.

“I don’t know… he might just not be used to the sight of me being ‘mushy’ with anyone, ‘tis all,” you casually explained during another one of your walks back home with him. “I mean, I was close to him and my other friends in high school, but not close-close like I am with you now, you know?”

Close like you are with him, now.

Hearing you say that only made Noriaki yearn for a future with you even more.

Gradually, you and Noriaki even got physically closer, as you’d frequently bump elbows when walking or knees when sitting or, in your case, hug his arm if a breeze drifted by. Though you questioned his motives for accompanying you a few times, he’d just brush it off and say it wasn’t a big deal.

The man was lucky he got a free train pass as a university student— he’d easily be reserving over half of his expenses over train passes to where you stayed. If that didn’t show any sort of commitment already, you didn’t know what will. All for the sake of accompanying you home.

During one of your all-nighters at home, you leaned back in your desk chair, blankly staring at the ceiling. Your A818 Walkman had long been done playing the playlist you set up. An obscenely long and unfinished block of code was currently on your laptop screen, the cursor continuing to blink next to the string you recently typed. Yet again, you were distracted. With the same thoughts, no less.

It was a no-brainer, but you also knew better than to quickly jump to conclusions. There was a lot of evidence to prove that Noriaki liked you— beyond your initially-planned arrangement of being reviewers for each other’s programs. Though perhaps, you didn’t know, maybe he was just accompanying you home out of courtesy? To be nice? You two were already friends, after all. Best to look out for one another, right? You’d treat him the same too.

However, in less than two months, you came to realize that you were correct in jumping to such a conclusion.

One of the lightly snowy days in December was when Noriaki first kissed you on the apartment’s doorstep after you almost slipped on the station floor earlier… which you were still incredibly embarrassed about. The onlookers, the sadness knowing that your rubber soles weren’t as sturdy as you thought, the fact that you nearly face-planted in front of a man you liked.

Of course, he did have some help from Hierophant Green while catching you, ultimately preventing you from falling face-first. You were practically holding onto his arm for dear life, feeling a firm hold around your own arm and waist. You knew it was from Noriaki, but… was he really that strong? Were his arms longer than you thought, being able to catch and pull you from that distance?

That no longer mattered to you as you kissed him back now, letting your hands gently cup his warm and flushed cheeks. You were melting into his kiss— his lips were really soft— and as insane as it sounded, you were quite ready to lose oxygen if it meant being able to kiss him for an eternity…

The front door opened.

Noriaki’s hold on you tightened just a smidgen. You were equally frozen in your spots, eyes slowly opening and averting to the perpetrator. Both of your lips had already unlocked.

Your friend held the door open, keys in his pocket and a white garbage bag in his other hand. He merely blinked at the two of you, seemingly unsurprised by what he had just walked in on.

“...we live in front of a park. I believe this is the time all the kids go home; it’s a lot quieter outside now. Also, it’s nice with… the trees. Go there.”

As he sauntered towards the stairwell with the rustling bag, you and Noriaki were silent for a few seconds until you both started to laugh.

Hysterically.

Never in a millennium did you two expect to be caught nearly making out in front of your front door, but it happened. At some point you wheezed out an apology as your friend casually returned to the apartment’s door, scolding you specifically for the growing laughter between you two. Hearing him laugh this hard was completely foreign to you, if you had to be honest, but the way he did it was making yours even more unrestrained. You and Noriaki had already resorted to tightly gripping the railing to prevent yourselves from rolling around on the floor.

Written complaints from your neighbors were certainly going to come in within the next few days.

Eventually, you two did calm down, and Noriaki had his arm wrapped around you due to the cold. You rested your head against his chest, feeling his chin on top of your head. Holding the railing was proven redundant, as you both ended up sliding down to sit loosely cross-legged and rest your backs against the railing. Sure, the thought of going back inside to avoid the dropping temperatures sounded nice, but neither of you couldn’t bear to let go of one another within the next few minutes.

At that moment, as he asked you to be his girlfriend— eventually, wife, a few years later— you knew things were going to look up for the both of you.

November 26, 2011

“[Motherfucker],” you grumbled quietly in English.

Your hand was patting around on the floor next to your futon, hoping to find your phone.

The living room you were sleeping in was pitch black due to the blackout curtains that were installed on the windows, so the chances of you grabbing the familiar device were rather low at the moment. You weren’t even in your own living room, which the layout of was drastically different from the one you were currently on the floor of. To think that yours was currently being investigated because of… that.

You felt yourself wanting to heave at the mere thought of it, but like any sensible person, you realize that this isn’t a situation that you can easily avoid. As of yesterday, you became a widow. The circumstances leading up to that were unclear to you— there were at least a trillion questions that continued to swim around your mind, from the why's, to the how's, and to the what’s and yet none of them had connections to anything resembling an answer. You had no idea, and the problem-solver in you was becoming desperate.

…anyway, where the hell was that goddamn phone? You’re pretty sure you’ve already stretched your arm out an entire meter…

Right now you should be back at yours and your husband’s (clean) apartment. You should be on top of the mattress, sleeping in the arms of your (alive) husband. His bodily warmth should be radiating off onto your back. His fingers should be lightly drumming on your abdomen as he starts to enter that next stage of NREM.

You should be in Noriaki’s arms, having your deep conversations about your futures before you both fall asleep like you usually do. Where you both wanted to travel to next, where you both might end up working, and the recent addition of where you both liked to raise a family one day. However, you two never got the chance to decide. You had an inkling of what Noriaki would’ve suggested— a place with many opportunities for you two and your future family, but probably also a place with many attractions to visit. You knew he developed a love for travelling because of his parents, who would bring him to places like Hong Kong or Egypt when he was younger. There’s no doubt that he, too, would’ve passed the love on to the one inside you— the one who currently couldn’t be bigger than a vanilla bean seed.

The universe worked in ways that seemed unfair, and not to mention morbid.

02:16  

It was about time you found your phone.

You silently cursed upon seeing the time, as in a few hours you were going to be preoccupied with tasks you wished you didn’t ever have to do in your lifetime. Lightly drumming your fingers on the device, which now sat on your abdomen, you continued to stare at the white ceiling. You haven’t moved at all since you landed right on the futon. The sight of this ceiling might as well be something you get used to.

Rapidly blinking, you started to take heavy breaths. You felt tears starting to build up again— perhaps this was going to be a new normal for you too.

Your phone continued to sit on your abdomen as you glared at the ceiling.

Before a tear could fall and slide past the outer corners of your eyes, you gripped it tightly. Suddenly, you felt the urge to dial a familiar number and speak with someone, but you doubt anyone was awake right now. You actually had your chance to be on the phone with someone— several people, in fact— as you were bombarded with calls checking up on you earlier. You didn’t have any willpower to phone any of them back until now.

Unlocking your phone, you headed to the Contacts app with the intention to find a specific person. It suddenly dawned on you that you were just thinking of the wrong friends to call— people who wouldn’t bother to stay up late for any other reason besides hanging out at bars or each other’s apartments. That one person; you remembered that they’ve experienced something like this. Granted, it happened to them nearly four years ago outside of Japan, but he was open to speaking about it if asked.

Hopefully he’d sympathize with you, especially at such an early time in the morning here.

You left one hand to gently rest on your lower abdomen as you dialed.

He picked up almost immediately, and your features softened. Preparation for graduate school must’ve been killing him recently, you had no doubt about it. You didn’t see him as often anymore because of his preoccupation with that. Honestly, you weren’t even sure if his exchange program was still ongoing anymore— it’s been that long since you two spoke with one another.

“[Hey! You’re still up? It has to be, like, some time after midnight where you are…]” he greeted you cheerfully in his accented English, though you knew he must’ve been tired out of his mind. His phone must’ve been next to him the entire time as he worked.

Plus, he must’ve been back in Rome, if his response would indicate anything.

So much for visiting him.

Your breath hitched as soon as you heard his voice, however. Maybe this was a bad idea… were you really going to call someone at two in the morning to relate about dead family? Shit, it was too late now. He already picked up the phone and acknowledged you. You weren’t just going to hang up on the guy after phoning him due to your impulsiveness, and not give any sort of explanation. Surely he’d think you’re a dick for being that way to him after a period of no communication with one another.

“…hello?” he innocently trailed off. “Ah…”

Moving your phone’s speaker away from you, you exhaled heavily before moving it back. You had no choice but to dive in.

How bad could this be, anyway?

“[—Doppio… hey, I know this is really abrupt, and you don’t have to answer anything at all, but I just… I wanna ask you something…]”

—

Dimension #16

2011年11月25日

November 25, 2011

花京院典明死去、16：13

1989年8月2日生まれ、22歳

Noriaki Kakyoin died at 4:13 PM   22 years old,  born on August 2, 1989

空条承太郎死去、16：22

1990年1月20日生まれ、21歳

Jotaro Kujo died at 4:22 PM   21 years old,  born on January 20, 1990

--> To Be Continued -->

Link to the Table of Contents

[finally100lbs]

lose 20lbs in 30 days or less

Stats 🌱

5’5

GW: 100lbs

CW: 120

I’ve already lost weight to get to 120lbs. I’m live blogging my last 20lbs for accountability. Hopefully this won’t take long...

Goals and rewards 🍃

Pre-120lbs: I didn’t have goals. I should’ve though, bc I’ve been losing and bingeing back the same weight over and over again for years now

120lbs 🔓: unblock tumblr. Tumblr is my only social media, so I had to make sure I worked hard to get it back. Now that I finally made it here, I can share the rest of my journey with you all.

115lbs 🔐: spend $30 on Amazon and unblock Netizenbuzz and AsianJunkie (2 kpop news sites that I visit frequently). I have no business looking at skinny idols who work hard for their bodies until I get down to at least 115lbs. Lose the weight, stay up to date. If your body stays stout, keep missing out. Simple as that.

105lbs 🔐: unblock youtube. I’ve spent years procrastinating work in favor of watching dumb videos all day. Tired of having no entertainment? Lose the weight then! I don’t watch tv so this is a big one for me. Catching up on all the Cody Ko, Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, and Kurtis Conner I missed will be a great reward though. My lowest weight I’ve gotten down to was 110 a long time ago but I immediately binged it all back like an absolute dummy. I still beat myself up for it to this day urrrgghhhh I was so close! Anyway, 105 means that I’ve pushed myself further than ever before and I will deserve a few hours of passively watching a screen and laughing so hard that my soon-to-be-perfect tummy hurts

100lbs 🔐✨: go shopping at the vegan/organic grocery store, try on my skinny clothes (I’ll tell about that in a bit), get my AirPods back. Music is my favorite thing in the world but I hate listening to it on my phone speakers.  No AirPods means no music while I walk my dog either, which is one of my favorite parts of the day along with my morning dance parties while no one is home. Dancing around the house for an hour or two does absolute wonders for my mood and is just so much fun in general. When I get my AirPods back I can return to having morning dance parties, only this time I’ll be skinny and free and light on my feet. Music hits different when you aren’t self conscious about how you look dancing to it...

I can’t cheat and just give myself access to the things I’ve taken away. No weight loss, no getting my things back, no excuses! Everything in this world has to be earned. If you want it, work for it.

Motivation 🌿

I have a folder of thinspo saved that I look at every day

I voice recorded myself reading a list of positive affirmations I made about weight loss that I listen to while I meditate (I may share the list some day idk)

I have my stack of skinny clothes on my dresser as a reminder of what I’m working for. My skinny clothes are all of the tight shirts, crop tops, high waisted jeans, etc that I either accidentally bought too small or grew out of years ago. They are some of my favorite clothes but bc of my own bad eating habits over the years, I haven’t been able to wear them in forever. I donated about half of my clothes last year but I decided to keep these bc I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I deserve to wear my cute ass clothes. I paid for them and I want my moneys worth! I’m wearing my fucking clothes do you hear me?!

My mom noticed my fat and laughed about it to my sister when I was getting dressed for homecoming. A few years later my other sister noticed I was sucking in my stomach when I showed her my new tank top and pointed it out. A few months ago my brother-in-law saw me stepping on the bathroom scale and he was visibly shocked at the number. I never want to feel another shameful experience like those again. I will make sure it never happens.

I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was about 14 years old but all I’ve done is gain and gain and gain. That’s so many years of hiding my body, taking selfies from the neck up, constantly sucking in, and feeling self conscious. I’m sick of it. I’m done with it. I am NOT going back

The obesity epidemic in America is REAL. It’s almost as if every food company here is personally recruiting people to join the obesity club. No disrespect to those who have already become members but I politely decline my invitation to join you. Thanks for the offer though...

Plan 🌾

500 calories is my daily max. I don’t expect to hit 500 but it’s there for just in case

Every morning I will weigh myself and post it

I will post everything I eat and show screen shots from any apps I use to track things

I am holding myself accountable to reach my GW within 30 days. One month of hard work for ultimate satisfaction. I’m not someone who puts looks above everything else but I’ve wanted this for so many years. Trust me, I’m gonna be hella satisfied and rightfully so! 😤

When I reach 100lbs, my TDEE will be about 1,900 calories a day to maintain my weight if I start exercising moderately every week. If I don’t exercise it will be about 1,400-1,500 calories. I don’t just want to be skinny, I want to have a healthier lifestyle as well, so I plan to keep exercising. I actually look forward to being the skinny girl that you see jogging every morning bc she’s just so hEaLtHy. It should take me a week or two to slowly work up to eating that amount of calories again without a bunch of weight gain after restricting for so long, but then I can stay on it consistently. There will obviously be days here and there where I go over (holidays especially) but as long as I don’t make a habit out of going over my TDEE which is how I got fat in the first place, I should be fine.

Read my daily posts if you want to see discipline and success in action. Feel free to send me some encouraging words ♡. We hitting goal weights in 2019 baby!!!!

[sally-mun]

Episode 6: Treading Water

At any given time in West Acorn, Adam is typically preoccupied impersonating King Max – because if he doesn’t, there is no Max. As Adam reveals to Finitevus, Max suffered a fatal stroke in his sleep a couple of years ago. No one – not even Queen Alicia – knows about it, except for Adam and Hamlin. Rather than going public with the matter, Hamlin instructed Adam to scan in Max’s body as a projection model, then to quietly dispose of his remains.

From that point forward, every interaction Max has ever had, whether it’s with the Acorn Council, the staff, or his own family, was actually Adam. He poured over Max’s history and reviewed any videos he could find to “calculate” his personality, basing his present performance on Max’s own past behavior.

However, ever since Adam accidentally installed that patch, he’s been having more difficulty keeping up the charade. The conversations with Finitevus have further complicated matters, as the more Adam comes to understand emotion, the less comfortable he’s become trying to match Max’s history. Over the last few weeks, Adam has come to realize that he doesn’t like the way Hamlin berates him, threatens him, and treats him as little more than a tool to be used – which, in turn, has made him very reluctant to behave that way toward other people.

More than anything, Adam has come to feel incredibly guilty for the way he’s treated Max’s family – or, as Fini notices him say, “his” family. Every time Adam refers to another member of the Acorn family, it’s in relation to himself, such as referring to Alicia as, “my wife.” This is most evident when Adam admits that he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when Sally delivers her baby, because he’ll definitely want to see “his” new grandchild, but obviously he has no means to travel. Fini debates pointing out that Adam isn’t actually Max… but, deciding that this isn’t the point right now, he says nothing.

What’s worse is that Hamlin is beginning to pick up on the changes in Adam’s demeanor. Despite his best efforts, Adam just can’t bring himself to treat people with quite the same edge as before, and Hamlin has already gotten after him for being too soft and attempted to tweak his programming accordingly. If this continues, there’s no telling what Adam might become – or if he’ll even continue existing, as Hamlin could realistically pull the plug anytime he wants. Adam confesses that, for the first time, he’s beginning to experience fear.

Finitevus suggests going public with the matter and exposing the sorts of things Hamlin’s been up to. He firmly recommends it’d be best to end the charade with Max as soon as possible and stage a more visible death for him, allow the public to accept it, and then reveal himself to the population of West Acorn. After all, there’s no way Hamlin would stay in a position of power if his plans were laid out for everyone to see.

Adam adamantly refuses. While it’s true that Fini’s plan would work in terms of ousting Hamlin from power, it too would result in Adam’s destruction – or “death,” as he himself puts it – due to the fact that this IS West Acorn Republic. The vast majority of the citizens opted to live on this side of the border specifically because they didn’t want to live with Nicole in charge of things. If it comes out that West Acorn has a secret AI of its own, the public outcry would be enormous, possibly even violent. Not only would Adam be destroyed, they’d make sure there was absolutely no trace of him left.

Furthermore, Adam adds that he refuses to “kill off” Max because it will leave Alicia behind on her own. Her poor health has definitely been on his mind, and he’s doing everything he can to better look after her. She’s had all the assistance in the world up to this point with no improvements, but the one thing she hasn’t had in all this time is her husband. Adam firmly tells Fini that he doesn’t care if it gets him in trouble, he’s NOT going to abandon his wife to save himself.  It appears that using his position as Max to show her more care and compassion has only further entangled their identities.

Failing any other ideas, Finitevus suggests Adam simply lock Hamlin out of the mainframe room altogether; after all, he can’t do any damage if he can’t GET to it, and it’s not like he could enlist the help of anyone else to assist him with access. Looking especially defeated, Adam confirms that this isn’t a viable option either. Not only is Hamlin listed in his database as the admin, but his programming is constructed in such a way that Adam isn’t capable of refusing him; he can’t even edit his own code to change or remove Hamlin’s account status. If Hamlin wants in, Adam has to let him in, whether he wants to or not. Adam defeatedly tells Fini that he feels helpless and doesn’t expect to come out of this alive. Finitevus assures him that he’s not going to let that happen and he’ll find a way to help him.

One round of plot later, Fini warps to the Space Colony ARK to track down Shadow. He quickly fills him in on Adam’s situation and asks if the ARK has any technology that might be able to help him. Shadow suggests establishing an uplink with Adam’s database to act as a sort of escape hatch; should all else fail, perhaps Adam could dump his files on the ARK before Hamlin has an opportunity to stop him. It wasn’t a fool-proof plan, however; uploading an AI’s worth of data would take quite a while (especially over such a long distance), so it would have to be the sort of move that is initiated well in advance if Adam suspected things were about to turn south. If Hamlin were to make a sudden move, Adam won’t have enough time to save himself. Even so, an imperfect option is still better than leaving Adam utterly defenseless.

Finitevus opens up a warp ring between the ARK and the room where he and Adam regularly meet, explaining the plan and asking if it’s within his capabilities. Adam is overjoyed; his programming restricts him from communicating with other nations, but the Space Colony ARK doesn’t meet that definition. The three get to work, with Fini relaying information between Adam and Shadow, and the connection is successfully established. Fini assures Adam that not all hope is lost and things may still come out okay, so he can’t give up now that they have a literal back-up plan. Adam agrees, and promises that if an emergency arises, he’ll contact the ARK for help.

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[pandoradeloeste]

Let’s Go Steal A Dystopia: a proposed season 6

(partially inspired by my state being on fire and my country shooting noncombatants in another country with tear gas)

TL;DR: Season 6 is about the actual building of Leverage International. Step 1: do not post the Black Book to the dark web with no context or groundwork. (Guess which step Hardison skipped.)

Season 6 opens with a 30-second recap of the last scene in The Long Goodbye Job: the team gathers around the hard drive containing the Black Book, Hardison talks about putting it on the dark web and building Leverage International, Eliot promises to take care of them until his dying day, and we have the overhead shot of Nate and Sophie leaving with Parker’s line about being OK playing over it.

SMASH CUT to the trio parkouring through a not-quite-dystopian Portland street. Parker is grim and no-nonsense, and has none of the joie de vivre that usually accompanies her skilled physical work. Hardison is holding a tablet and frantically hacking as he runs. Eliot does his best to keep rioters and security mooks from attacking Parker and Hardison. As they reach their destination, Eliot pulls out a gun and methodically shoots the mooks who are about to reach them. Parker and Hardison watch Eliot for a second and share a look that says that this isn’t the first time he’s shot someone on a job since Moreau, and they know what it costs him.

The job for the first two episode is fairly simple, something like “a CEO is holding my husband hostage to make me program a bad thing, help me get him back”. The job takes two episodes and we don't actually see much of it, because we have a lot of worldbuilding to get through. The episodes are structured like an episode of Lost, where a lot of the time is spent in flashback to what happened when the team assumed that Leverage International would just happen on its own when they declared open season on the corporations that caused the financial crisis. 

With no organization, it was every thief and team for themselves, leading to complete chaos. Teams got in each other's way, starting fighting among themselves, some of the more amoral people saw the Black Book as an opportunity to exploit corporations' weaknesses and grab power for themselves - it’s basically Game of Thrones by way of Shadowrunners. Meanwhile corporations, who have various world governments (including our own) in their pockets, complain that they’re under attack, and governments respond by removing constraints on corporations (goodbye antitrust laws and consumer protections) and restricting civil rights in the name of “security” - basically the authoritarian bullshit we’re seeing with Trump but turned up to 11. People protested, which made the government crack down harder, and the cycle continued until the US now has fully militarized police using sonic cannons and live ammunition against anyone they think is antifa, and not even pretending to do actual police work anymore.

(And oh yeah, climate change is still happening, probably not being helped by the Louvre and most of Portland burning down.)

Within the team, things are not looking good. The trio is keenly aware that their weaknesses helped create their current global crisis.

Hardison did what he was warned not to do: he got overconfident and made a mess, and then tried to fix it alone and made it bigger, until it was so big a team of three couldn’t contain it. When he’s not trying to put out fires, he’s paralyzed and obsessing about the body counts in Turkey and Estonia, the arrest rates in NYC, the migrant caravans at multiple countries’ borders being met with tear gas and bullets, etc.

Parker hasn’t learned how to be a leader so much as as the team member that comes up with the plan, but she knows it’s her responsibility to do something about the mess they made, and it turns out that being your romantic partner’s boss is Really Fucking Hard. She’s spent the last year making all the rookie leadership mistakes and swinging back and forth between authoritative and lax, micromanaging and overly hands-off, accidentally favoring Eliot and then Hardison, and stressing herself out until she occasionally has to run off and steal some diamonds solo to chill out.

Eliot. Sweet, loyal, gruff Eliot “I said I would take care of you till my dyin day and dammit Hardison I meant it” Spencer. He’s tried to pull the other two out of their guilt and shame spirals too many times to count, and he’s running himself into the ground trying to keep them safe while they try to fix the world, while also run some more mundane Leverage, Inc. jobs on the side (mostly on his own because the other two are too focused on their global crises and personal failings). A few months ago, after they narrowly escaping one of the police militias, Eliot came to the conclusion that the only way to keep his promise to Nate and Sophie was to start carrying a gun again. The only thing keeping him upright and fighting is his determination not to abandon Parker or Hardison.

During the first job of season 6, something happens to snap them out of it (I’m a fan of the “one team member has a meltdown that triggers catharsis for the whole team” method). Somehow they pull each other back, recommit to holding each other accountable and making each other better ("for better or worse we change together") and start actually building Leverage International.

It's slow going because whoever came up with the phrase about herding cats clearly never tried to get forty of the best criminals in the world, only half of whom speak English, to work together. First there's the logistical problem of finding them and getting them together (Tara and Quinn are gone, nobody knows where Nate and Sophie disappeared to, Archie died before things got really bad, and Hardison can't talk about Cha0s without breaking something), then getting them all to agree to the same principles and values. It’s basically several episodes of The Nigerian Job, but in multiple languages and a lot more in-fighting. The finale is a big ambitious job taking down a large company, maybe Wakefield, that solidifies the international team.

Seasons 7 and 8 are the "let's go steal a capitalism" seasons. This is when the major powers (US, Russia, China, EU, etc) have basically given up all pretense of governing, and it's up to Leverage International to basically perform a dozen coups all at once and rebuilds them as socialist states with better antitrust laws, universal healthcare, strategies to rein in climate change, and free housing. I’m bad at building utopias, though - I’ll let someone else plot that out.

[quinintheclouds]

I found out im a ravenclaw! It doesn't feel like it fits me but hey, what are you gonna do about it. Can you tell me stuff about ravenclaws?

Yay, I’d love to! Quick aside though, what do you mean by “found out?” Your wording seems to indicate it was something shown/told to you rather than a conclusion on which you’d arrived yourself. If you took a quiz, those can be fun but aren’t reliable. I can take the pottermore test 3 times in a row answering with complete honesty and get sorted into 3 different Houses. The quizzes are all just someone else’s perceptions of what innocuous details might pertain to each House, and a few years ago I conducted an analysis of the different options/choices and the Houses to which they led, and… a lot of it’s kinda irrelevant and arbitrary.

If I’m misinterpreting and you DID come to this realization for yourself, I’m curious as to why you feel it doesn’t seem to fit you. but WELCOME to Ravenclaw! :D Keep in mind though that everyone has aspects of every House, and aspects of themselves that aren’t contained by Houses at all!

Okay, initial ramblings aside… sorry :P Ready to hear some bomb info about us Ravenclaws that often isn’t talked about? Let’s go! [Bear in mind that these aren’t exclusive to just Ravenclaws and also won’t apply to every Ravenclaw! Some of these are just my personal experience/thoughts]

So first, Ravenclaw’s canon defining characteristics: intelligence, creativity, wit, imagination, love of learning, uniqueness, originality, individuality, curiosity, open-mindedness, and acceptance. 

We are largely a compassionate bunch that stands against ignorance of all kinds and will fight by informing others. Ravenclaws can often be found organizing protests and the like for important causes (akin to Hermione’s S.P.E.W.)

A lot of Ravenclaws have trouble settling on our House, because we can have the inclination to look at every angle of a scenario so that we can at least attempt to more objectively weigh the options. This is why I used to think I was a Gryffindor/Hufflepuff for long stretches of time.

Another reason some of us hesitate to sort ourselves as such is because of the misconception that Ravenclaws always make great grades or are dutiful with schoolwork. Not true. Intelligence comes in many forms!

On that note, neurodivergent Ravenclaws may struggle to feel we belong when we see so many our peers excel in school. 

On the brighter side, Ravenclaws like these will somewhat unknowingly wind up banding together. We’re the ones who accidentally miss class because we’re so engrossed in researching some big new interest. The ones who annoy the others by testing out new spells/potions of our own creation and consequently making a mess and ruckus. We’re the ones who forgot to study because we got confused by one of the points in the book/lecture and wound up writing an essay trying to debunk the error instead of doing the actual assignment. Here’s to us lol

A bunch of us DEFINITELY waste time gathered outside the common room (or CAW-mmon room!) just solving the door’s riddles. (If you didn’t know, the door only opens after you answer a different riddle every time) 

The vast majority of us LOVE puns. Ah, wordplay… the toy of language.

Starting a million projects and never finishing them whoops

Having a million journals you’ve written in so you have no clue which is which at this point

Buying way too many books but rarely finding time to actually read

OUR HOUSE COLORS ARE BLUE AND BRONZE, DAMMIT! THE MOVIES CHANGED THE BRONZE TO SILVER AND I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT (lol I’m totally chill about this, can you tell?)

We are HUGE daydreamers! We pride ourselves on imagination, and luckily for us, we’re in one of the tallest towers of Hogwarts (bc we represent the element of air) so we have beautiful windows out of which to gaze while letting our minds wander 

Also the cawmmon room ceiling is magically designed to always look like the night sky, so we love to lie on the floor and watch the stars, moon, planets, etc.

WE FRICKIN’ LOVE SPACE, OKAY???

NEVER leave your stuff behind in the dorms! You’ll have to answer a riddle to get back in, and by that time you’ll be late to class (fellow ADHD Ravenclaws, we know this pain all too well)

We’re an adventurous bunch, contrary to some belief. But our adventures aren’t purely for external enjoyment — the excitement arises from the stimulation of our minds. Curiosity killed the cat, as it were, but feeds the eagle. We’ll sneak out of the dorms to go to the library or steal some ingredients from the Potions classroom for an experiment. The Restricted Section is our playground. 

We’re artists, writers, poets, performers, musicians. People overlook this too often, but these are so important to so many of us. I create, therefore I am.

We’re pretty weird and eccentric a lot of the time, but embracing that helps us gain understanding about what makes us passionate, and we’ll work hard for things we care about.

Side Note: I’ll never not be bitter that Fred and George were in Gryffindor. They were such Ravenclaws. They were impish lil pranksters, and very clever about it, and only did so when there was something to be learned from it (i.e. testing their numerous inventions). I could even see Slytherin more than Gryffindor. *Sigh,* I digress… for now.

I’m one of the Ravenclaws who discusses philosophy and theoretics for hours on end, and the annoying one who asks random questions for the sake of asking questions, just as a game to test myself and see if I can come up with possible answers. (The embodiment of the “do you think pigeons have feelings?” meme).

We, uh. Have terrible sleeping habits. And eating. And showering. And we forget water exists sometimes. We kinda have problems remembering we have corporeal bodies with needs or whatever. Lame.

Some of the more rigid, stereotypical Ravenclaws can be defensively competitive for top of class, and that can turn a bit sour, but I like to avoid that drama altogether.

We notably broke into the Astronomy Tower to watch a meteor shower, and lost so many points we came dead last in the House Cup that year.

Many of us have ALSO snuck into the Forbidden Forest to study creatures and explore deeper.

Yeah we don’t win the Cup often.

Muggle-born Ravenclaws get together in secret to teach the others about math/science/literature/etc. because the purebloods BEGGED them to and they were happy to oblige.

Interviewing the paintings to learn magical history from a firsthand account bc Professor Binns is too detached and boring

According to the wiki, we’re the House most likely to dismiss social conventions and unspoken rules in the search for satiating our curiosity. We’re full of quirks and often won’t stand for playing by unnecessary or flawed rules of any nature.

As hyper and Extra™ as some of us can be, we also love to chill by the fire with a book, a blanket, some music, and maybe too much tea

In general, we’re “well-known for being welcoming and encouraging of creativity, eccentricity and individuality and being very accepting,” as stated by the wiki.

Okay, I am physically forcing myself to stop now. As you can see, we also tend to just dump information all over the place lmao XD Anyway this was fun to write and I might make a post about neurodivergent Ravenclaws in particular… Let me know if you have any updates on your House, and if you ARE a Ravenclaw, we’re happy to have you!!!

[bowmansuhr13-blog]

Twenty Concerns You Need To Often Question About 3 Very Best Ketone Health Supplements - Shocking Info! Just Before Acquiring It

What's So Intriguing About Keto Health supplements?

The issue with seven Keto is, although it is internally produced, It is really right dependent on DHEA. Fasting is a fairly easy and surefire method of reduce accidental overeating or binge having while with a keto diet program. Finding taking place the Keto Diet can acquire confusing.

A keto food plan is created Particularly to bring about ketosis. It really is well known for currently being a very low carb diet plan, where the body creates ketones while in the liver to be used as Electricity. It consists of having a lot of fatty foods, most of that happen to be incredibly rich in omega-six fatty acids.

If you're looking into keto dietary supplements, you probably currently know the way in which the ketogenic diet program functions, but we are more likely to briefly analyze the treatment yet again to ensure we could refer back again to it later on during the publish-up. Everyone is different, and the amount you weigh any time you initiate the diet program issues, but you might safely and securely drop about 1 or 2 lbs weekly on keto, Keatley states. Adhering into a much healthier ketogenic food with actual food stuff is ready that will help you acquire all the benefits of ketosis with out paying out additional cash.

ketone supplements

The flu does not have an impact on Every person in the equivalent way, along with the signs vanish inside of a number of days or perhaps weeks. In case you've a short while ago produced the choice to transition into a ketogenic diet plan application or are Checking out the chance of the transform, odds are you would possibly at present wind up in a huge confusion. If you really feel as in the event you are becoming extra away from capsules, then retain it up.

Most Noticeable Keto Nutritional supplements

Overtime, your entire entire body down-regulates so it only needs about a thousand calories a day to maintain basal functionality. Your fat was not burned inside the technique. When you adopt a ketogenic diet, be sure you switch electrolytes, try to eat sufficient Excess fat to satisfy your entire caloric wishes, drink lots of drinking water, and exercise as you're able.

Nutritionists recommend that fasting is not for everybody. The keto eating plan also stabilizes your blood glucose, which can help to scale back cardiovascular disease and higher hypertension. It may minimize inflammation and reduce oxidative pressure in your body.

The Keto Health supplements Tales

When you think about Power in health supplements, the quite initially ingredient that springs to intellect, is caffeine. There are some styles of ketone health supplements to choose from which have various impacts on ketosis. Within my expertise it's the perfect ketosis complement.

Keto Supplements Strategies

Magnesium dietary supplements may also assist with constipation. Several of our favorite protein powders are saturated with sugar and are extremely higher in carbohydrates. It really is necessary to Notice that consuming more protein could possibly get your body to transform it into glucose which can interfere with ketosis.

Whilst Indeed, It is only drinking water pounds, It really is nonetheless excessive body weight which you don't will should be carrying all-around. It is well worth looking into much better outfits options for absorbing or wicking sweat from a physique.

Of course, it would assist you to trim down initially, but because it is so restrictive, nearly all men and women uncover that It is unsustainable. You might be wondering, but having plenty of Unwanted fat is lousy! Tackling usefulness purchasing and emotional ingesting is the true key to successful weight-loss for the majority of people.

The Secret to Keto Supplements

Next, you may want to review the essence from the nutritional supplement you want to buy. The degrees increase until eventually age twenty, and there's a decline from the blood concentration amount by age thirty. If you select to hitch the Keto lifestyle, be aware that the outcomes are from time to time quick lived on account of your perseverance it requires.

Recall, that solutions You should not signify you have to compromise to the flavor and nutritional selling price. There are plenty of exogenous dietary supplements within the marketplace, and It can be difficult to choose between countless possibilities.

If you're focused on Fats within your everyday diet regime, it will make fiber tricky to obtain in. Ketone nutritional supplements are sometimes a great way to assistance your ketogenic food plan approach and technique for life. Carbohydrates are vital for Electrical power.

Keto Health supplements - the Story

At this time, there's no extensive-term knowledge on the security in the keto eating plan in Grownups. As outlined by about sixty randomized controlled trials carbohydrate restriction is well probably the most successful fat-decline Instrument because of its appetite suppressing results. The benefits of nutritious very low-carb eating increase outside of bodyweight reduction and the ketogenic diet was employed as adjuvant therapy for a number of health and fitness disorders this kind of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, epilepsy and perhaps even most cancers.

Creatine monohydrate free of filler has a tendency to be the proper variety. When you're in ketosis, ketone dietary supplements can assist you keep there so that you don't need to go in the transition method yet again. Exogenous nutritional supplements give an instantaneous approach to receive ketones throughout the physique.

Start out gradually if you are new to BHB health supplements. Don't take in carbs is a fairly clear-cut rule. Lemons are totally fine for keto-followers, states Jadin.

https://globenewswire.com/news-release/2018/11/27/1657236/0/en/The-Best-Keto-Supplements-Report-Important-News-Reported-Exogenous-Ketones-by-Researched-Reviews.html

[nelliievance]

Benefits of Time-restricted Eating

Time-restricted eating is a type of intermittent fasting that I find easy to do. Lots of nutrition, longevity, and medical experts agree on the benefits of intermittent fasting. For one thing, it allows the body to do an internal cleanup cycle known as autophagy that gets rid of damaged components in cells. Research on the mechanisms of autophagy led to a Nobel prize in 2016. It also can be a useful weight loss tool. It is interesting that nutrition experts that disagree on other aspects of eating agree that intermittent fasting is beneficial. For example, low-carb advocates and whole-food plant-based advocates both agree on intermittent fasting. There is a good review of the science on the benefits of fasting in Ref [1], available online here. I’ve also discussed some of its benefits previously. There are some caveats about it, for one thing it can be a bad idea for people with eating disorders. I’d definitely recommend doublechecking with your Dr. before trying it if you have any doubts.

Fasting sounds pretty extreme, and there certainly are versions of it that are, but in it’s mildest form you can eat 3 meals a day, but just don’t eat dinner too late and don’t snack after dinner. I first got into this by accident because I would snack at night and get acid reflux at bedtime. So I stopped snacking at night, but still would have a problem if dinner was a heavy meal. Then I made dinner a lighter meal and the problem was solved. My wife and I eat breakfast about 8 AM and are done with dinner by about 6 AM, so with no evening snacking I’d accidentally blundered into time-restricted eating, with a “fast” from dinner to breakfast of 14 hours. Lots of cultures around the world emphasize eating heavier earlier in the day and lighter later.

In addition, I’ve also done a longer fast by not eating breakfast immediately on arising for some time, but I usually only do it a couple of days a week, when I’m planning a long easy workout. This helped me to achieve a good level of fat adaptation. I had some concern about doing it on days when I worked out harder because there is some talk on the internet about it causing muscle loss. I hadn’t done enough research on the science, it turns out muscle loss is easily avoidable, which I’ll revisit below.

http://www.Amaxon.com/books

But what really made we want to look into skipping breakfast (or, equivalently, replacing breakfast and lunch with brunch) every day instead of a couple of days a week was reading the inspiring book The Health Experiment: My Intermittent Fasting Story, by Cheryl Gremban. She is a retired nurse, who was overweight (based on her BMI, medically in the obese category), despite having tried various attempts at healthier eating, including Weight Watchers. The book starts while she was still active in her hectic career. She had recently become a nurse supervisor, and as a kind-hearted person was working long hours supporting both her patients and staff. She was too exhausted to exercise after her shifts.

In her sixties, she reached the point of giving up after meticulously counting calories for a month, using her medical training to do it scientifically. Calories in, calories out. Guaranteed to work, right? She gained a pound during the month.

At this point she heard about time-restricted eating from a friend, and after doing research convincing herself there was sound science behind it, gave it a try. The results after 30 days were encouraging so she kept going. The book chronicles her odyssey, which led her to normal weight and much improved health. What really caught my eye was her extremely healthy blood testing results. She ended up retiring from nursing and having a much more active lifestyle towards the end of the journey. In part two of the book she gives her tips on following time-restricted eating as a lifestyle.

Implementing Time-restricted Eating

There are various ways of implementing time-restricted eating. As I mentioned above the easiest is just not eating dinner too late and avoiding evening snacks. This can easily result in a 14 hour fast. Longer fasts usually comes down to skipping at least one meal. Some people eat a hearty breakfast and lunch but don’t eat dinner, while some skip breakfast and eat lunch and dinner. The latter is what works well for me, and is also what Cheryl follows in the book. I found that once I became reasonably fat adapted, I’m just not that hungry on arising and can easily postpone eating till lunchtime. That was driven home for me the last time I had to do bloodwork, and was not able to get an early morning appointment so had to go, in the fasted state, at 11:30. In the past I would have dreaded making it through that morning without eating, but now it was not a problem.

The idea is that your “window” of eating be restricted to at most 10 hours. Most people do better if it’s somewhat less, Mine is a little under 7 hours, while through most of the book Cheryl follows an 8 hour window, although she was experimenting with tightening it towards the end. As an example, for a dinner-skipper, if you have breakfast at 7:00 am, and finish lunch by 1:00 pm, your eating window is only 6 hours, so you are fasting for 18 hours. If you are a breakfast-skipper, and eat lunch at noon and finish dinner by 7:00 pm, you have a 7 hour eating window so are fasting for 17 hours. It can be pushed farther than this, there are even people who swear by a one meal a day version, with a fast of as much as 23 hours, but 8-10 hours is probably a good place to start.

We have been taught that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so the idea of regularly skipping it may raise alarm bells. However, the science behind this can be a bit misleading, because it does not take fat adaptation into account. For example, I’ve seen studies where people who are normally accustomed to eating breakfast are asked to skip it, and later in the morning show impaired performance on cognitive tests compared to a control group that’s allowed to eat breakfast. What we need is comparison with a third group of people that are used to not eating breakfast and have become fat adapted. Many people that are used to it actually report improved mental clarity in the fasted state. But again, when in doubt, check with you Doc. Also, breakfast maybe your favorite meal and you have no desire to start your day without it. In that case you could just do the milder three meal a day version, or have dinner be the meal you skip.

Cheryl gives valuable tips on healthy eating during your “window”. The most important, for me, is not grazing continuously during your hours of eating. Think of it as two good meals and maybe one snack in between. Also this is not a license to eat junk, it is still beneficial to stick to healthier foods. She emphasizes, however, that she was able to get away more often with treats, as long as they weren’t her trigger foods.

From my experience and what I’ve read from others, there can be a be a transition period before time-restricted eating is comfortable. As I’ve mentioned, it is easier me, because I am already fat-adapted, which I achieved by exercising at a comfortable pace for longer sessions a couple of times a week before breakfast (I discussed that in detail here). If you try fasting and are not fat adapted, you might struggle through cravings until your body adjusts. So here are some tips:

Try the exercise before breakfast a couple of times a week first.

Start with the easier three meal a day version and only try a shorter eating window after you a used to that (or simply keep on with the three meal a day version).

Try minimizing ultra-processed foods or anything that’s a trigger food for you.

It’s important that outside the eating window no calories at all are consumed, even milk or cream or a little sugar in coffee. Cheryl and other authors I’ve read have also emphasized not consuming artificial sweeteners outside the eating window, as there is some evidence it can fool the brain into releasing insulin and interfere with fat adaptation.

Also I want to emphasize that this is not a quick weight loss tool. It can, combined with good eating habits (like avoiding junk), lead to steady sustainable weight loss. But don’t be discouraged if weight loss does not occur rapidly, or even at all at first, there are various other benefits besides weight loss.

Time-restricted Eating And Exercise

For the most part, exercising while fasting is supposed to add to the benefits, for example, exercise can also trigger cellular cleanup (autophagy). But there is the concern of muscle loss, especially if you do strength training. I found a good discussion of that here. It turns out not to be a problem as long as you eat a meal shortly after the exercise session. So I do have to modify my strength training days a bit. Usually I do strength training part at the beginning of an exercise session after a short warmup. Doing it in the fasted state, I’ll modify it so I postpone strength training till later in the morning, right before lunch. This appears to be only necessary for strength training. For lower intensity cardio, and even for high intensity interval training, it seems to be ok, even beneficial, to exercise earlier while fasting, and not eat right away afterwards.

I’ve started a 30 day experiment of doing the two meal a day version of time-restricted eating every day, a couple of days ago. I’ll report back in a month how it goes. Unfortunately I don’t have any blood testing planned in the future, so I won’t be able to see effects on that, but I can report on things like weight management and how energetic I feel.

Reference

Longo, V, and Mattson, M, “Fasting: Molecular Mechanisms and Clinical Applications”, Cell Metab. 2014.

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