#these tasks are always so much work
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*˖ ⊹ TASK TWO: STYLE & AESTHETIC
If there's anything Nour loves just as much as music, it's fashion! She's always looking for ways to get creative with her wardrobe, proclaiming that styling is a must (no matter where you're going)! She has a collection of items that make any wardrobe fitting for any occasion and most likely has the closet you envy. Over the years, she's found her identity and appreciation for herself through clothes.
NOURS MUST HAVES: You can never wear too many rings and necklaces. Accessories are a big thing for Nour, and she often visits flea markets and antique stores for her jewelry, looking for items that are one of a kind.
YOU'LL ALWAYS FIND HER IN: ...denim! Nour loves denim and owns it in pretty much every item you can think of. Her overalls are her favorite, but you'll most likely see her in her staple maxi denim skirt when she's not in her work uniform.
THE WARMER THE BETTER: Nour's not afraid of color and tries her best to feel comfortable in everything. These days, however, she's found herself warming up to the colors of fall. Orange, brown, red, or earthy green is what she's been sporting lately. She often dresses to the season, finding it fun to match her color palette to go with the season.
#stillwater: task#*˖ ⊹ you set my soul on fire ╲ tasks#these tasks are always so much work#but so satisfying at the end <3
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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"It takes guts to grow up like you did-- thousands of years simmering beneath every kind of oppression man could think of."
"With the sky kissing the crown of my head, knighting me with space to roam and the bravery to explore it [...] Big, open fields of barley and rivers like slivers of silver, marbling my veins."
"And yet you prefer...?" "After all that life?" a breath, a laugh, caught between teeth. "Something cultivated by your own will-- the work, the dread, the sought resolution-- it is far grander than the possibility, the dream of it."
art by @fooltofancy (just. fantastic. look at them. !!!!)
#OUROBOROS#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#yor/yana#go commission vin if you want to like literally sob. The lines! THE LIIIINES!!!!#I'm so happy I could snag these bdfhksjdbf AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#never in my life did I think anyone could do Y justice in how I see them in my head. and here's vin absolutely slam dunking every line#I was very. emotional. when I got the art-- I've just been served with some dental problems and whatever the fuck else. been in a fugue sta#e when working on ouro (so much is getting done but endless tasks to do!) and this just. perked me up. (sobs) i love them so much. so.somuc#You haven't seen much of Y in the public demo but they have so many things !!! going on!! and I can't wait to share it and hear from you#often I wonder what peoples theories are on Y. I've heard the rumors#the pondering on a particular theory. and it gets me all giddy-- not bc it is wrong#but because it isn't always entirely right. sdlkfjhslkdjfhsd I love being cryptic LMAO bye. love u
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On one hand my phone is my bestest friend who protects me and shows me so many beautiful wonders. On the other hand I wanna throw this fucking lump of metal into the sun before it can erode my brain any more than it already has. Do you understand.
#i love you immediate access to all the information and learning I could ask for#i love you being able to listen to music or stories to brighten up dull tasks#i love you being able to befriend amd communicate with people all over the world#i love you keeping in touch with people who I otherwise would have drifted away from#i love you independent creators being able to create and distribute their creations without needing money or connections#i hate you centralization of the internet under fewer and fewer multinational megacorps#i hate you platforms designed to keep me addicted and scrolling so they can show me more ads#i hate you shortened attention span#i hate you echochambers that allow extremist beliefs to fester and spread like never before#i hate you Internet Panopticon#i hate you expectation that I always need to be available for communication 24 hours a day#more than anything I hate the fact that I'm made to feel guilty for being addicted to my phone#when I was given this highly addictive thing as a Literal Child#and also you pretty much Can't Not have a phone as a young working person in the 21st century#I'm gonna claw my hair out please help
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This was supposed to have a couple other effects on it but I formatted it wrong and gave up lol. My first animation ever!!!!!!!!!!
#nami#gif#one piece#fanart#ennies lobby arc#nami & robin#water seven arc#animation#i can't believe i made this lol. so much work... i've always wanted to animate!!!!!! ITS REALLY FUN!!!!!!#I <3 repetitive tasks hashtag autism#cat burglar nami#nami one piece#nami op#straw hat pirates#ennies lobby#water 7#water seven
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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having another one of my job-related crises
#where are the jobs for blokes that do fuck all. where are they!!!!!!!#i am quite literally looking for jobs where you do nothing. you do not understand how much i dont want to do anything#granted my current job has a certain amount of doing nothing in that i have the time to look for jobs where i do nothing#but i want to do even more nothing. do you understand#if i lived on my own i probably would consider some weird night shift job#but its probably better i have the routine i have living during the day like a normal person#despite the drawbacks of my cursed routine#where are those jobs i see people making tiktoks about where you do fuck all in the office and send like one email a day. id kill for that#my dream is to be paid for like. mostly sitting somewhere where i can work on my needlepoint#id even do mindless data entry. PLEASE pay me for mindless data entry i love repetitive tasks. if you let me listen to music im unstoppable#ive come across a couple data entry jobs but i think they always require a college degree#and its like oops sorry i never had the time or money for that! still dont! however i can promise you my autism is qualification enough#my dad talks about the market research jobs he used to have and how for like the entry level jobs there#there was clearly so much goof off time they were playing early computer games and shit#but there were like so much more data entry jobs that i guess are obsolete now bc of technology#and its like yes technology good but theyve destroyed an important job category: jobs where you do fuck all#whenever i have one of these crises i also check out gigs n jobs on craigslist and unfortunately everything there seems so sketchy#like every 'personal assistant' job sounds either super pervy or like im going to get serial killed#i should get paid a million dollars a year for doing nothing at all i think#anyway once again my only option is my successful director dreams. would be great if theyd actually happen#<- guy that doesnt spend enough time actually working on creative works in progress#well anyway. such is my mental state today thank you for your time
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Last drawing of my summer class, we were only given an hour but I think I made good progress (this was a test of sorts)
This will be the last time I'm studying under this professor, so I'd like to share his art page (I think it's neat to see how his approach to art has influenced my own)
#charcoal#portraiture#if you'll allow me to be sappy#I'm a bit sad this class is over#...actually#a bit sad? the understatement of the century#was crying my whole drive home haha#I've had the same professor for three semesters in a row#have worked with him for a little under a year and thats CRAZY#i feel like I've improved so much#i feel the need to justify majoring in art sometimes bc it can seem a little pointless#but I've learned a lot about using my own skill to meet task requirements that aren't necessarily things I'm used to#among a bajillion other things that help with art a profession (I'd talk about it but i would never shut up haha)#and of course i feel like my technical skill has improved massively#my art finally feels like... mine#there's always going to be room for improvement#but in this moment i am content#feels nice#anyway that's the end of the semester :D considering doing requests again to celebrate since that was super fun#I'll also be doing a few master copy studies soon#would be cool if anyone wanted to join me in that#will put up another post if i decide to open requests!#classwork
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About the whole ADHD "finding a way to motivate yourself without using the stress of impending deadlines" thing:
I hate to say it, but learning to be nicer to myself changed a lot of that for me. I really truly hate to say it. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you gotta find a way to be nicer to yourself inside your own head, in whatever way works for you. I know it sucks so bad to hear.
The other thing is, if my brain is really refusing to tackle a task, often times the main thing I'm feeling is confused and understimulated. Which leads to me sitting there with the jeopardy theme song playing in my head, and then I unconsciously gravitate towards something that's more stimulating and therefore easier to wrap my head around. So overstimulating myself in some sensory way helps me be less confused about what I needed to do. Everybody's brain is different, though.
And uhh the other thing that helped is concerta, and listening to my body, and working on not being so ashamed when I failed. Which means you will probably have to fail a little bit unfortunately
#im so so so sorry#it sucks so bad because so much of what i found that works sounds so much like the trite advice we always get#you have to do it while being nice to yourself. if you try it while still motivating yourself through shame it won't workkkkkk#and the path to chipping away at all that learned shame is really individual and difficult#but the shame and stress are buddies that go hand in hand. they come from the same place#i had to make myself physically incapable of tolerating stress before i realized that it just doesn't matter#like you have responsibilities to your neighbors and loved ones and some of them are time sensitive. but HOW you complete them doesnt matte#and you just will mess up. there is nothing you can do about that. you have a disability. ADHD is a disability#''but if i mess up I'll face severe consequences. that's why i motivate myself through stress in the first place'' YEAH I KNOW IM SORRY MAN#it is still good to try and untangle the shame around doing tasks. it's still helpful.#even if it doesn't help you be more productive it will help your relationship with yourself and the world.#which is actually a really worthwhile and not at all selfish thing to prioritize. believe it or not.#anyway. love you!! sorry!! byeeee#personal#brain stuff
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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the little girl at the bus stop just had the most enthusiastic, info-dump-y of rambles about how the bus that's coming is "literally the best bus" bc it's apparently bigger than the others which you "can see from its shape" and how great this bus ride is going to be
#so precious I stg#I adore this child that I don't know so much#and the lil boy listening to her giving her all attention was also very precious#then again I'm in a good mood anyway since I get to leave at 2 pm instead of 3 since I started work at 6 am#which was mostly to let the electrician into the rooms he still needs to check and test#and my boss was very kind and nice in his response to my long message about all the bs at work with my colleague#so I have the go-ahead to refuse to join the meeting on Friday which is great bc that was the biggest worry#colleague lady was still in a shit mood all day and fairly rude when I asked her a question ABOUT THE TASK SHE WAS MEANT TO DO#BUT WASN'T DOING bc she was “busy” as always and being short-tempered with everyone#but oh well. not gonna ask her abt anything anymore unless it can't be avoided. may she stew in her own frustrations#I bought cookies yesterday on my long walk home past the lovely paeonias at the park#so I'm gonna do my best to have good days anyway#the other colleague I had a tiny bit of beef with bc he kept closing tickets prematurely and I had a nice chat#and have come to an agreement on how to avoid this issue from now on bc apparently he's also doing five jobs at once#so fingers crossed that works for us but either way no hard feelings which is nice
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if u like l4d you should play drg its like l4d but endlessly fun
#-- like left for dead in the loose sense that ur given a task to complete while fighting hordes of enemies. and its good#never gets boring bc you always have things to work for and missions to complete and the worlds are randomly generated#it runs off a 'battlepass' system but its one i actually enjoy. youre able to switch between seasons at any point with saved progress#all of the mission types are fun and it continually adds new enemies/encounters/structures as you play#like im still finding new shit w my friends n ive played like 150 hrs#it feels so rewarding challenging fun...... im constantly awed by how much thought is put into the mechanics and the environment#theres sooooooo many ways they couldve made this game annoying like so many others. but they dodge the bullet every time
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Did a quick drawing of my OCS to try a different way of drawing handles : )
#i love this so much more!! the wwy i used to draw handles looked so flat it always bothered me but i think this looks great :)!!#the yellow core is task manager i got then on an art trade with jj does stuff : )!!#i think i found a good story relevant spot to put them in so i chose my circus au!!#task manager is a they/it/she btw and shade is a he/she!!#shade is the blue and red one and he gets stolen by birds at least 2 times in this au#ill probably work on it at some point bc i think putting aperture labs in a consept like a circus is very interesting to me#i also need to make designs for train au at some point#portal#portal 2#portal oc#Task Manager portal (oc)#Shade portal (oc)#shade is technically named compass core too btw!!
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Most of my sinus infection has cleared up besides the occasional cough and irritated throat but now this ear infection.... everything hurts can I please have a break before I have to go back to work just a day without pain so I can clean up my sicknest without feeling like ass
#i live with my parents but my mom is having a horrible flair up of RA so she's bedbound and can't help me at all and dad is the only one#the only one working atm so he's not doing anything besides that#its just a little frustrating because whenever mom is sick from her flare ups or if dad gets the sniffles im like#I'm like what can i do for you are you comfortable do you need anything can i make you food let me clean up etc#but when i go down for 3 days of being visibly miserable everything i ask is the world#ask dad to pick up my perscription but god forbid i ask him to do any other task on the way home that involves making 2 SEPARATE LOCATIONS#ita fine hes just. idk#plus mom has her RA flare up and idk#it just feels like nobody in this house is particularly sympathetic when im feeling miserable but im ALWAYS sympathetic when they are#the first 2 days i was doing nothing but sleeping or rolling in pain in my room and no one came to check in on me to see how i was doing#then yesterday my mom says shes taking us both into urgent care but leaves without me in the morning when i was too sick to wake up when she#called for me.#she was like I just really was in so much pain and you didnt get up and i wanted to go asap and i called you#anyway so because i was so sick i couldnt wake up i had to drive myself to urgent care which is also fine im a big boy#anyway. circumstances or whatever. im also real salty bc ive felt like shit for like 4 days
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have y’all been streaming kimikawaii~~?
#silly little edit from a few days back that i made while skipping a dinner with the extended family lmao#the rest of the mona cds (aside from the one in her hands) s t a y e d in bc fansa shichauzo yk#i miss mona… i w a s thinking about tling at least a few pages of idol sengen tomorrow (since it’s a holiday)#then i received the handover (of job tasks) that im apparently supposed to do on friday and. lol. byebye idol sengen…#man. im not even formally trained for like half of friday’s tasks… but o h w e l l.#as an aside: im not so secretly envious of the dude who joined at the same time as me. he seems to be vibing pretty well over ‘ere.#he even said that working is ‘like being in a school lab’ with the furnace being the most dangerous thing he has to use#but if this guy’s having so much fun w h y do i have to handle concentrated acids every day???? aaaaaaaa this isnt fairrrr#though. here’s a psa for all ye acid handlers out there: always make sure the exhaust of your fumehood/fume cupboard is switched on#aka ‘i thought that id be fine using the fumehood with the exhaust off bc i was just gonna pour 2 acids. then i saw the fumes.’#i dont think i’ll forget the sight of the white vapours wafting off my concentrated hydrochloric acid for at least 3 days…#um. well. that’s enough about work tales™️. anyway!!!! stream kimikawaii!!!!!#so glad kimikawaii mv dropped last week frrr it saved my life (exaggeration)#i even recalled my childhood friend(?) of sorts thanks to it even though i haven’t thought about him in years… wonder how he’s doing though…#aaaaand yup. that’s it from me~~~~ stream kimikawaii and manifest ckun mv for soon™️!!!! that’s all gn guys~~~~
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sorry for liveblogging my reaction to your fic in the ao3 comments. it will happen again.
#sorry if authors dont gaf im always going to comment this way bc i ADOOORRRRREEEE when people comment like that on my fics#like yes we are in a 2 person bookclub for this thing one of us wrote#tell me what lines you liked tell me what bits made you laugh or blush tell me tell me tell me#my beautiful system of only using firefox reader mode to read fic and only being signed into my ao3 on chrome makes this an easy task#like i am truly just switching apps to add a note in the comment as i read#and idk to me its like. the author puts in so much time effort thought into this whole work#and i think we all (at least i know i do!) really love when people mark out specific parts that moved them or made them giggle#it makes me feel really seen and i hope my comments do the same for other writers ^•^
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