#these tags are unhinged i'm sorry

[cidandy]

i can't STAND this guy !!!!!

pose under the cut

[lyctorism]

#they really did that

[hunxi-after-hours]

“A Boyfriend and a Girlfriend Rush to Save the World in a Haunted House"

aka professional voice actors Yang Tianxiang and Su Shangqing improvise a deeply chaotic 2 minute scene

Original Video: bilibili

You may know 杨天翔 Yang Tianxiang as:

Lu Guang (Link Click, donghua + audiodrama)

Fei Du (Silent Reading, audiodrama), Chang Geng (Sha Po Lang, audiodrama)

Lan He (The King's Avatar, live action + donghua + audiodrama)

Hei Xiazi (Reunion: The Sound of Providence, live action)

Jin Guangyao (MDZS donghua)

Gao Qi (长安三万里)

among many other roles

You may know 苏尚卿 Su Shangqing as:

Cheng Xiaoshi (Link Click, donghua + audiodrama)

Xie Lian (TGCF, audiodrama), An Ze (Little Mushroom, audiodrama), Cao Chunhua (Sha Po Lang, audiodrama)

Cao Weining (Word of Honor, live action)

Wu Xie (Ultimate Note, live action)

Jin Guangyao (The Untamed, live action)

Qiu (Big Fish and Begonia, animated film)

among many other roles

[heartoferebor]

[Image description in Alt]

"Morale has fallen." - An extremely normal Venom/Ocelot interaction for @sir-yeehaw-paws ◕‿◕ (also: Hi, MGS nation, I have officially arrived)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

English 🤝 Hebrew

Shortening words until they are unintelligible to outsiders

[chirpsythismorning]

This specific frame reminded me of something…

For those who still can’t see it, allow me to elaborate.

[cat-mentality]

PLS ELABORATE ON THIS [the theory on which eggs fit which sins]

OKAY BUCKLE UP ANON!!!! This is straight up tin foil hat territory, i'm just like manifesting from nothing because it is incredibly fun in my mind

For this to make a little of sense i'm going to consider Purgatory as my catholic school taught me- A place where the sinners go to repent to their sins, either for all of eternity, if the sins are too big or too terrible, or until they have been forgiven and i'm taking Dante's inferno as my guideline on how this whole thing operates.

I'm also going with the theory that Black Cucurucho was the one responsible for taking the eggs/scaring them away, maybe to make them vulnerable and fall on his trap, is my personal theory that the Black Cucurucho is literally the anti-Federation, as in order versus chaos and as such he is looking to destroy everything the Federation is building and using the egg's to do so (and also Cellbit!!! If it's not the Rebels giving him the information i bet on Black Cucurucho more than the Feds themselves).

So, basically: The eggs get kidnapped by this new strange force (not evil per say, not more than the Federation itself, but less interested in pretending not to be, like the Anfitrião in Ordem Paranormal) and they get stuck in Purgatory, who is made by 9th circles, divided by the type of sinners they are set to punish. The tickets are the passage to get into the circles, Virgil acted as Dante's guide in this case the train will be responsible for taking them from one circle (island) to the next IF they manage to complete whatever task will be set in their way.

I believe the placement of each egg (in my delulu head) has less to do with their own sins, as the Black Cucurucho is not really interested in them but rather in the suffering he can inflict on the parents using them, but in the mortal flaw he sees on their parents.

Chayenne i would put being stuck in the 1st circle, Limbo. It's the less worse of the nine as it is the place where the unbaptized and virtuous pagan stay, endlessly walking in eternal darkness.

Why you ask me?

Well Chayenne IS the son of the Angel of Death. His other father is also a being blessed by death (or cursed with life, your pick). He worships the Blood God. He is dear to the Goddess of Death herself.

What's more pagan than that?

Besides Chayenne IS virtuous himself, he is a warrior, devout to the Blood God however not for bloodlust, but for the desire of protecting those he loves and cherishes. Little Chayenne, walking endlessly searching for his siblings, praying to his fathers' goddesses to shine a light, to show him the way, to protect his siblings, but receiving nothing back as the goddesses is forbidden from interfering with the living, even the ones toying the line into her realm.

I actually changed my mind and we are putting Tallulah in the 2nd circle, Luxury. Now, we about to play loose with the definition of luxury here as this is the circle where the damned are tormented with strong winds that drag them through hell, i'm focusing not on Luxury as a carnal sin, but rather the element of desire.

And for this we are going to consider Wilbur as the parent being punished, not Philza.

Wilbur who left for fame.

Wilbur who left for months and months and months. Who lusted for the world, who wanted to be known, who wanted to be adored, who lusted after a life of his dreams.

Wilbur who in his lust for the world forgot the one person who always considered him her whole world.

Tallulah lusting after safety, lusting for a place to belong, lusting to leave a mark in the world so that it doesn't forget her, trying to grab onto anything to prove her worth and her value but now being stuck in those winds. dragged without a destination, powerless and alone.

Pomme is then in the 3rd circle, Gluttony. The 3rd circle is the circle for those who were gluttons, who over indulged, are now stuck in pits of dirty, freezing mud, tormented by Cerberus and also a storm of snow, hail and thunder.

Etoiles, always hungry for the next fight, for the next dungeon, for the next opponent.

Baghera always hungry for answers, for things she cannot have, cannot do (she wants an explanation about what happened to her, she wants to save her friends when she cannot even save herself, she desires for the world to be good and kind).

Antoine, always hungry for power, selling his soul, his family, to achieve it. Devouring faces, devouring stories, devouring lives, swallowing everything whole until he doesn't even know who he was supposed to really be.

Pierre always hungry for connection, for warmth, hungry for those he meets, trying to fill the void in his heart with the temporary warmth of another body.

Pomme hungry for adventures, hungry to prove that she is worth of love (she remembers, those first days, the distrusts, the coldness, the way they considered not taking her and she never wants to feel that cold), Pomme being stuck, helpless when she knows so very well that helplessness gets you killed, that it makes you weak and unworthy.

The 4th circle, Avarice is empty, of the eggs at least. A respite, as much as they can have in that place.

They find Ramon in the 5th circle, Wrath. Localized on the Styx, the river that cuts through the Purgatory, made of boiling water and blood, that is the place where the wrathful are locked on eternal fights on the surface of the river, on the bottom the sullen are forever stuck drowning on the things they never got to say.

Fit who lived his whole life in a desolate wasteland where fighting was the only thing he could do. Fit who knew no rest, no peace, no sound of those fighting and those dying.

Fit who fought his whole life, who is still fighting, who doesn't know how to rest, who doesn't know how to forgive, who chokes on his wrath, who forces it down his throat because he wants to be better but anger was all that he knew during most of his life.

Fit who looks at those people in their eternal battle, bleeding and making others bleed for no reason, with no end in sight, with no real purpose but to cause harm, and feels at home.

Ramon who tries so hard to be light, to support and help his father in whatever he needs, who drowns his own feelings because he doesn't want to bother others, because he wants to be the rock they can lean on, drowning at the bottom of the Styx.

Leonarda is on the 6th circle, Heresy. This is the circle where the sinners had the intention of sinning, the one destined to those who denied the existence of god, who went against the beliefs of their time, and now they lay on open graves as fire burns them.

And what is Foolish if not a non believer?

He believes in no god, no authority, no deity. He believes in himself, he believes in his family, he believes in what he thinks is right.

Oh he plays pretend of course, he smiles at the Federation, he works for them, he joins the Ordo, he participates in their reunions, but do he believe in any of them? Does he commit to one dogma over the other?

Of course not.

Foolish is a non believer. He will join the side that offers him the most, he will betray them as easily as he joined, he will jump from a place to another as long as that keeps his family safe, as long as that is what is better for them.

Foolish who sins and smiles as he does so.

Little Leonarda who believes in her Pa above everything and anything else, burning in a never ending fire. Little Leonarda who doesn't give a fuck about anything else as long as he is okay, as long as he is by her side, who would follow him into whatever mess he got himself into, who couldn't care less about other's morals or expectations, who would gladly sin as long as they are together.

Richarlyson is on the 7th circle, Violence. This circle is actually divided in three parts but i think only two would be used the Valley of the Phlegethon where the ones who were violent against others were submerged on a river of the blood of those they hurt, and the valley of the suicidal, where those who were violent against themselves became either trees, eaten by harpies or chased by hungry dogs.

And well, it's self explanatory isn't it?

Who has spilled more blood than Cellbit? Between the war, the prison and not the Island he has enough blood on his account to drown them all.

Forever? Oh there are bloodbaths in his past too. There is rage that blinds, that takes hold of him and only leaves when he is standing in the aftermath of a carnage.

Mike does not mind blood. Never has, never will.

And who hurts Pac more than he does himself? Who hates Cellbit more than he hates himself? Who blames Forever for things, more than himself?

They may turn their rage against the world, may bath it into blood, may spill it until rivers form but they drown themselves in it too.

And Richarlyson? Little boy who saw too much, who knew death and suffering too early, who lives at war with a part of himself who wants nothing but to hurt and destroy.

Finally, Dapper is on the 8th circle, Fraud. This circle has ten pits in it, each designated to a type of sinner with their own punishment, raking from being whipped by demons to being submerged into boiling tar or being dressed into shiny clothes who were as heavy as lead.

And what is BadboyHalo if not a fraud?

Who even knows who he truly is, what he truly thinks? Probably not even himself.

This is a man of many layers and many masks, a man who presents himself in any way he thinks is right regardless of what he truly feels or thinks, this is a man who will lie to anyone, including himself.

This is a man who embodies every single sin punished, who could easily be put into any of the pits. Is he not a seducer? Is he not a liar and a thief? Corrupted by his own darkness? A hypocrite, to others and to himself? Does he not sow discord, does he not give bad advice?

And isn't Dapper too much like their father? Little Dapper who lies and lies and lies, who hides behind her own masks, who is now being punished because they do not know who they truly are underneath all the masks.

And the 9th circle, the last one?

Betrayal.

Sometimes the only way to leave hell, to leave Purgatory, is to be worse than the devils.

[mikichko]

i wish we had spoiler tags so i could talk about how reader would go out of their way to piss graves off

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[dunkelrotzuschwarz]

Der Herr des Waldes Album Cover & Tracklist

Dfl Version

[ex0rin]

Jack Quaid as Richie Kirsch | Scream 2022

[ghostofvalorie]

That Essay

@forsaire tagged me and now I MUST provide! You opened Pandora's box on this one.

To adhere to the rules I will first provide FOUR and ONLY FOUR of my fictional crushes! And to make it easier on us all I've narrowed it down to games only, so here we go!

I'm starting off from the very beginning of my journey into crushing on non-existent people, and people who have read my tags before might know this one already!

Malik Al Sayf from Assassins Creed 1 - 2007

A man whom you've wrong by being arrogant and then spends the next few hours of the game being yelled at by him, and rightfully so. Not only do you cost him his arm and place as an assassin in the brotherhood, but his younger brother as well.

Eventually Altaïr stops begin a prick and apologizes and Malik, bless his heart forgives him.

Still... not me rolling into Jerusalem hoping, wishing, to get yelled at because Malik's Voice Actor goes HARD <3 I love him and his 7 whole polygons! NEXT!!

Keeping it somewhat chronological:

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2 - 2011

He beeg. He got horns. He is technically an antagonist in the game but he has a moral code that makes sense to him that he is willing to kill and die for. Qunari famously live their lives incredibly black and white so to him he is in the right, even if we disagree.

But he just got a wholeass vibe, and he'll say nice things such as

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you" and I mean, with that voice... say no more sir. *takes shirt off*

NR 3: Adam Jensen from Deus Ex - 2011-2016

My cyborg husband <3

Ex-swat turned security guy, then interpool agent (depends on which game you are playing)

He's just an incredibly good guy, the sweetest person on the block. Ofc it depends on how you play and what choices you make, but MY Adam is a sweeheart that will go out of his way to help people.

And my boi got sass, he'll be snarky to literally anyone, his boss, the cops, criminals you name it.

He's also secretly a little funny. <3

Nr 4: Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 - 2018

I mean first off, he do a little *mlem* when he drinks coffee... Do i even need to say more?

Arthur is just such a perfect sad boy. Raised to believe his only worth lies in killing people when in reality he is incredibly competent, sharp and caring. Again depends on how you play the game, but my Arthur is the goodest boi in the west.

Now that was four, oh but look, somehow completely unrelated to all this, some other honorable mentions seems to have ended up after the cut, how silly of me!

And @xintothewoodswegox, show us what you got!

Beast from Beauty and the Beast - 2017

No further comment, your honor, if you've seen the movie you should know.

Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect - 2012

How can we not love the powerful nerdass space magician! He's caring, he is cute, he is Canadian and schrodinger's person of color!

He also glow blue, what else can you possible want? I for sure do NOT kick my feet and twirl my hair anytime he wants to talk to me.

Eris Goddess of Chaos from Sinbad - 2003

I MEAN LOOK AT HER?!?!?!? Again an antagonist, but she is sexy about it.

Helga Sinclair from Atlantis - 2001

I'm-I i mean, I don't even have words. Every time I SEE Helga my brain flat-lines I can't help it.

THAT GIF THO???

Majima Goro from the Like a Dragon series of games

No comment, because if i start i will NEVER stop, he's story is too good.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley from Call of Duty MWII - 2022

I could literally put ALL the characters from that game in this list. ALL OF THEM, but to keep this somewhat short I've chosen ONE and i've chosen Ghost, the most tragic man alive.

Kar'niss from Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023

Another TRAGIC boi, missunderstood and abused </3 I could take care of him. LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM LARIAN

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr - 2018

You didn't think I'd squeeze in a vampire this late, did you?

I wasn't overly impressed by Jonathan from the start, BUT, he is FASCINATING if you play him as a bloodthirsty villain willing to murder everyone for power! I'm here for bad-boy Reid!

Lastly, for now:

Corvo Attano from Dishonored - 2012

Also an incredibly tragic man, who's fate you hold in your hands with your actions!

He's just hot, he's a dilf, he can succumb to grief and violence or rise above it to save not only his daughter but an entire empire from destruction.

I'm not sure i've y'all have noticed the pattern yet but let me spell it out for you:

PEOPLE THAT CAN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY ME! Look at them all! So STRONG! So POWERFUL! Fuck, mess me up fam!

And the beauty lies in that they never would. Or I mean Eris might... but I'm in a firm belief that the others would never harm someone they care about and ain't that just the purest thing you've ever heard.

Now this was only the highlights of my fictional crushes, I've kept most of the absolute freaks out for now. Maybe I'll do an updated list later where werewolves and Cthulhu makes the cut, we'll see. Now I know HP Lovecraft wasn't a very cool dude to say the least, but you expect me to be normal about the big tentacle monster? REALLY?

Lower your expectations.

[moe-broey]

Wait a minute

I can literally just put them on my backpack front and center. (Plus a close-up on the cluster of Things where Céline lives!)

[thatonepikminperson]

How to kill all of the Pikmin 3 Bosses with ease, aka, how to drop kick six toddlers

Yes, I'm doing one for Pikmin 3, because I also have played this game too much. SHUT, I had quite a while to play this game, and I have learned the ways to beat the shit out of the local six children of this game, aka, the bosses. (Spoilers for Pikmin 3 and it's bosses down below, btw)

FIRST OF ALL, I'm just going to say this once. Unless a boss fight demands you use Rocks, never bring them to a boss fight*, they are ASS at fighting. Bring Reds, trust me.

*There is an ONE exception, and we'll get to them

Armored Mawdad

So this boi is really easy after the first ten seconds. You basically go for the very back of his tail (The tip thing) and break that. He will shake off Pikmin and rest on a wall. Rush the creature with your Pikmin (Reds first) and watch as he gets capped at 1 HP. Then when he comes down again throw one rock at it and dead

Vehemoth Phosbat

Fun fact, you only need to build half of the bridge. No joke, choose which pile you want to bring over. You can put one Captain in the dark to lure the Phosbat over, just keep in mind that you should rush the pile as soon as it starts to try and eat the Captain (It will fail.) Once half of the bridge is built, wait for the Phosbat to try and eat the Captain in the dark again, call them over, throw 20 Yellows and the Captain over and light the room up. From there, you can just bully the Phosbat with the lights you never turned on because yes they still stun the poor bat. GG easy no re.

Sandbelching Meerslug

Easiest boss in the game, like not even by a long shot. The strategy is simple, bring 100 Reds and win. That's it. Just bring 100 (I think 60 should still work, you just got to be more careful), and when the slug does his sink hole thing, RUSH THE MOUTH. It shouldn't kill any Pikmin, and it forces the slug to come up. Bombless and way easier than before.

Scornet Maestro

First of all, why do you need help with this boss. Second, if you are having trouble, just bring another Captain and have the attacks go onto them. Just remember the attacks the Maestro does don't lock in immediately, they can still switch.

Quaggled Mireclops

Alright, you got two options. ONE: Bring 100 Wingeds, and some Spicy-Spray and auto win, or two, Use Blues and Suffer. I suggest the Winged strat, as it's easier and more funny to pull off. Just rush the guy, then rush him again. Also keep an eye on his health as half way, the tonuge attack changes.

Plasm Wraith*

*(THIS IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE ROCK RULE)

ROCKS. This is the only boss fight I'd recommend using Rock Pikmin, for the shear fact that the main attack this Wraith does WILL NOT KILL THEM. The only things that can kill them are the elemental attacks and as long as you don't suck, you should be fine. Rocks can take out Fire and Rock elemental attacks at any time, electricity you gotta be fast, and Water is a don't even try. Other fun facts with this fight, one, if the Wraith is floating, just walk away. If it has nothing to attack, it's forces to land back down, and two, if the Plasm Wraith feels as if it's surrounded, it will walk into one of the elemental attacks. Try to whistle your Pikmin back BEFORE that happens.

[shadowspirez]

kinda amusing that people keep insisssting that i must like squipemy because i'm... into jeremy or something?

like did i not post enough squip mpreg fer you? this is shadow squip-fucker erasure!!! 🗣🗣🗣

[bluevelvetea]

Do you like Akam? Or pulp novels? Or both?

You're in for a treat today! A spicy treat ✨

Get your copy now! You can start reading @kebuyo's fanfic 'Turbulent Tides' right here right now!

Featuring the feared pirate captain Rye and the sailor Rei who might find more than he hoped for at sea... Might contain some historical inaccuracies but they're for the best I promise...

Cover art inspired by every pulp novel featuring pirates that has been written like ever