#these songs make me feel sad sometimes
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This song was on SCTV, but it's also just a nice soft song. So I'm going to share it:
youtube
#music#canadian music#Ian Thomas#dave thomas#it's a nice soft song#these songs make me feel sad sometimes#But they're also so relaxing#Youtube
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currently yearning in a way only boys can
#yes i’m still thinking abt song of achilles it ripped out my heart#but also idk if this is a universal experience#but sometimes i feel like i mourn the fact that i didn’t get to experience childhood as a boy#like getting to be rough and lanky and awkward and soft and strong and all the things it’s okay for boys to be#like not that it’s ‘bad’ for girls to be that obviously#and i still tried to#but i feel like it came less naturally and alienated me#like i just want to be feminine in the way boys are???? if that makes sense#and i’m sad that i never got to have the experience of growing up as a boy and falling in love and all the things that came with that#and i get this almost like . jealousy when i think of it#it’s like this hot anger but i think it’s really just grief#IDKKKK WOOF SORRY FOR RAMBLING HAHAHAHHAHAA#anyways idk if this is universal but!!!!! i’m gonna go think abt my doomed gay lovers#(aka reread song of achilles)#LOVE YOU ALL HOPE YOURE HAVING A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!#q speaks
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4am tots
#Mother Chappell Roan and her songs are to blame for this!!!#so fucking Bop!!! but making it's giving me existential crisis for some reason HSAHSAHSHA#like i'm alright with ending up alone ngl. i feel better Alone actually!#tho sometimes i get into this same stump wondering if i'll ever be worthy to be blessed with a loving partner#ok sad time over. im gonna play Stardew Valley LMAOOOO i miss my Elliott </3#tim rambles#my art#2024
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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[ID: three digital illustrations based on episodes of the owl house. The first image is based on Understanding Willow and features Amity and Inner Willow. Amity looks at Inner Willow regretfully, holding a hand to her chest, as Inner Willow stands surrounded by pink fire, yelling at Amity with steam coming from her eyes. Lyrics are written crookedly across the background: "I'm not here for your entertainment/your the kinda guy that likes some fun/am I just here for a bit of amusement?/you'll never be my NUMBER 1!!!".
The second image is based off For the Future and features Willow and Hunter. Hunter hugs willow, his face obscured, as she sobs and vines glow green around them both. The lyrics this time are written more neatly in the middle of the image and read "are you bored?/or are you scared?/what happened to secrets we shared?/ Did I say something/? Have I crossed the line?/you know I never meant it/when I said I was FINE!".
The final image is both drawings on one canvas with no lyrics. Each image has a dark blue background. End ID]
Thinks about Willow's repressed emotions and eats glass. Cutely (song is Con Man by The Tuts!)
#the owl house#toh#willow park#amity blight#hunter toh#hunter noceda#(aw i haven't used that one in a while :'))#Understanding Willow#For the Future#i have to go shower so i can't add tag commentary rn all i can tell you is RRRAGH GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG AND GET FEELINGS ABT IT LIKE ME#I'VE WANTED TO MAKE THIS FOR WEEKS AND I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT#i wish you could see hunters face but it just didn't work with the proportions so i had to live with that#SAD. ah well there's other blonde boys (<- cruel joke abt grimwalkers)#not about him though. it's about willow#i think (and this is a big maybe) once I'm done my rewatch of s2A (and the frog show cause I'm rewatching that too)#I'm gonna rewatch EVERY willow ep right before ASIAS and then go from there#she's special she deserves it#same way i might rewatch the gus episodes before Labyrinth Runners. it's just a little ritual i have sometimes :]#anyway. oooooh you want to appreciate willows repressed rage and fear and sadness soooo bad#also I'M SORRY IF THE HAND LETTERING IS BAD FONTS JUST LOOKED TO GOOFY. I'M TRYING BARE WITH ME
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yes, there are absolutely some kdrama tropes that i would like to leave in the past, but also. when some kdramas still have that genuine kdrama flair that remind me of kdramas from my childhood (but in a good way) . . . giggling and kicking my feet! i don't care if some tropes are corny and cheesy, i'm still relieved to find the sillier kdrama tropes alive and well
#caroline talks#this is me talking about my demon btw#it's been a hot second since i've seen a romance-centered kdrama that actually isn't either too sad or a little too corny for my liking#sometimes. i do actually want to watch a silly fantasy kdrama that makes me giggle to myself#also like. song kang is slowly gaining my respect as an actor#i wasn't very convinced by him in nevertheless (which was probs the point)#but i remember watching navillera and sweet home and admiring him SO MUCH in each of those shows#because one made me sob and the other made me feel sad for song kang's character#and y'know! my demon is fun!#i think he absolutely has that kind of handsome face that makes you think 'wow. he's either a literal angel or the scariest demon in hell'#he also. is rocking the leather coat so nicely. if there's one thing about me.#i love when coats--
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Y'all ever stopped listening to your favorite bands for about 2 years for reasons you don't even know yourself. Maybe it's because you're busy. Maybe it's because you thought you've acquired new tastes. You really don't know. But then suddenly you listened to one song of theirs again and now you're sobbing over how good the songwriting was? And now that you're not a dumb High Schooler without much experience you understand the lyrics even more?
Anyways that's me with Fall Out Boy right now lmao. It's high time I listen to their new album later.
#incoherent rambles#ansy-stalks#confession: would yall kill me if my fave album of theirs is MANIA hAHAHAHHA—#LISTEN#NONE OF THE SONGS WERE A MISS— lord i remember how people criticized that album in its release and how fans are worried about the dubstep-y#vibe (me too cuz “yo idk much about music but how will andy & joe do this live im sorry im dumb 😭”)#then again none of their songs in their wholeass discography is a fricking miss anyways /absolutely biased#even their covers are fun to listen like I Wanna Be Like You??? That sht is on repeat lmao. I Wann Dance With Somebody?? good sht dawg#I think my second fave album is either Folie & Save Rock and Roll? Just cuz Folie is my vibe and SRAR were all dhxjkwjfiaokeixiw <33#Every fan loves Infinity On High for sure— Golden & ILALWTWIATTGYO (me & you) makes me sob every time#broooo the raw ass line of “I saw God crying at the reflection of my enemies and all the lovers with no time for me”#and “the best way to make it through with hearts & wrists intact is to realize two of the three ain't bad. aaaIIINT BAAAAAADDD—”#for folie a deux there's not a damm instance where I did not feel sadness over What A Catch Donnie. Dawg. The way Elton John sings his part#too bro 😭😭😭😭#AND HOLYYY SHT THE AFTER(LIFE) OF A PARTY PHCCKKK I FORGOT HOW THAT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME HOLD IT IN HSJDJKSOSID#i would skip that song cuz it makes me so sad sometimes 😭😭😭😭#OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT LET ME RETHINK MY ORDER OF FAVE ALBUMS HAHAHAHHAHA#“I'm a stitch away from making it AND A SCAR AWAY FROM FALLING APART. APART. BLOOD CELLS PIXELATE AND EEEYEESS DILATE- KISS AWAY THE TEARS#AND KILLS ON THE MOUTH OF AAAALLLL. MY FRIIIEEENDS—“ PHHHHCCKCKKKSIEOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭#JDJAI WAIT AND THE ENTIRETY OF SOPHOMORE SLUMP#OKAY I NEED TO STFU IN THESE TAGS HAHAHAHAHHA#okay to defend my MANIA adoration (do people still hate this album? hope not). ***Bishop's knife trick.***#“I'm sifting through the sand.Looking for pieces of broken hourglass.Trying to get it all back—put it back together—As if the time#had never passed. I know I should walk away but I just want to let you break my brain and I can't seem to get a grip. no. no matter how I#live with it. thESE ARE THE LAST—“#I'm sorry. the delivery is just too delicious.#MANIA is a fricking mixbag of weirdly mainstream inspirational songs- to suddenly; drugs- to actually being unhinged- to one of the saddest#“im tryina redeem myself” song(s) (heaven's gate- church- and bishop's)#okay i really need to shut up 😭#aight. i will stop.
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looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
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:/ turns out i haven't bothered to learn anything for piano in THREE YEARS oh no................
#rubia speaks#it's not that big of a deal like i haven't really craved to play piano or else i would have#and when i feel like playing an instrument i prefer to play guitar. or sometimes ukulele#but not being able to play piano skillfully feels like a failing to me. i felt the same way before i took up crochet again#years ago i got it in my mind that i have to be jack of all trades proficient at all#as if it's.... not enough to do well all of the things i already do well? it's overcompensatory for sure.#i would be in awe of someone with even a quarter of the skills i have but because it's me i feel like i have to make up for being me#by being good at more things#but my knowledge is only at the depth of parlor tricks. i can play a song and a half. i can make a square or a border#but if i have to read complex sheet music or any crochet chart or written pattern my illusion of knowledge crumbles to dust#i might like to take up piano again though at some point. if only to finish learning Goodbye Yellow Brick Road#i was getting kind of fine at playing it. i'm a little bit sad i stopped#(and i do intend to learn more crochet 100%. someday i will learn more things for it)
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Evan kelmp man that you are ……………..
#the psychosis metaphor. the guard dog nature. it’s not a wound it’s just healed badly. i realize this thing is just here to hurt people and#I think man I know that song and I keep kicking. telling stories that are normal to you to get a worried looks and ppl asking if you’re okay#literally brennans explanation of how evan felt fighting that salamander was so.#this character was created in a lab to make me specifically crazy. and boy oh boy is it working !#I can’t get over aabria referring to his arm as ‘not a wound just healed badly’ and that the only way to fix it is to break it again and k#being so convinced they can help it’s so. I can’t put into words buts it’s so. that’s their whole everything.#evan isn’t broken he’s just healed wrong and people around him can’t or won’t accept that. and it’s coming from a good place (sometimes)#but it has the same effect in the long run which is the reinforcement that he is wrong and bad and needs to change but he CANT bc he HAS#healed. he isn’t carrying around an open wound he has worked on that but that shit never goes away. it’s there forever and it looks wrong an#scary to people and it probably always will but it works#he said it’s different metrics of success I kept the arm and then k tries to fix and he loses the arm. do you understand me.#do you you see. can anyone fucking hear me.#it’s about being so scary to the people you love that your success is still cause for concern and they don’t understand that you’re doing#better !! you are doing good !! I’m not sad anymore he said and it’s. oh god.#anyway mismag makes me feel ill if I think about it too long so I have to stop now#prsnl
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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2
#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore#we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life#i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible#if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green#and later this year i think i might change my name#it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random#i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel#really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am#to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate#but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it#but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so#when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy#i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that#also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els#sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w#not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else#but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway#that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but#all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not#im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help#it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning#nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my#feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions#i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary
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venting so much i ran out of tags lmao
#i think im hallucinating ?????#i have my headphones on (listening to boyfeel on repeat n choppin up some paper)#and keep feeling / seeing shadows in my peripheral vision#im probably just dehydrated and having bad floaters but i dont like it :)#today has also been bad dramatically awful#life isn't serious there's no reason to feel this heavy#oop very emo thoughts incoming#life can't be meaningful or ill miss my parents too much but can't be meaningless or im living without them for nothing#im just. struggling very hard this year. idk#i had so much health bullshit going on for months that i put off going to a psych n now im so busy that it feels bad taking time off for it#and im also scared of getting on meds bc the idea of being dependent on something that i might not have access to is.. auuughhh#idk dude my adhd has been debilitating lately and i feel so stuck and sometimes i think i have ocd bc my compulsions are so fucking bad and#all my mental bullshit with my breathing has slowly been driving me wild and peaks my anxiety#and sometimes i worry abt being bipolar bc my mom's mom is and my mom's best friend told me she thought my mom might have been#bc the way my moods are so low or so high is exhausting it feels like i haven't had a “normal” day in so long#but also atp when im happy i feel manic bc idk how to healthily experience happiness anymore#idfk y'all !!!! im also very nonverbal these days#ugh and still going back n forth on telling my therapist ive been suicidal again bc i dont want him to have to report me or anything idk#a few months ago i made a joke about offing myself and he got rly serious n said he'd have to take action if im serious so im leaning no#like. i wouldnt actually kill myself. i just don't want to exist sometimes in this life#its just been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard lately without my parents or grandma#and even after all these years it's still heartwrenching to think about continuing to live this life without them#like. i just want to make them laugh. i just want to feel their arms around me in a warm hug. i just want to dance to their favorite songs.#i don't want to think of them and see their dead bodies anymore. i want to remember them healthy and smiling.#i would take care of them again in every lifetime but fuck dude. i just want to remember their good days instead of the end. can i please#please fucking invision them at their best. i want to remember the dad that played baseball and video games and whose laugh filled the room#i want to remember my grandma who was so sassy but kind. whose button nose crinkled when she smiled. who taught me to happily be dramatic#i don't want to remember them being frail. i want to forget the frustration i saw in their eyes. i want to forget seeing them struggle#(insert sadness about not remembering my mom at all)#just. fuck dude. my life is simple and i am safe so i shouldn't complain. but things feel so fucking hard sometimes. i feel so heartbroken
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flau enjoyers i am cooking up something sad
got this song on loop babyyyyy
god
also it's for the dragons rising of the au so like oh boy
#diino fl!au#diinoposting#do i even have any enjoyers#if i do then please make yourself known if you're ok with that#sometimes a guy feels unappreciated but even one person enjoying what guy makes can change everything#it's just nice to feel appreciated every now and then#y'know#ok yeah the song is making me sad too this is crazy
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goodbye to a world
#wow actually me talking#Marvel#Mcu Loki#mcu thor#Thor odinson#Loki odinson#Edit#Once again i am inflicting pain apon ye unfortunate followers#Because sometimes when I think of a sad song and remember a sad character I cry#Other times I make an edit to capture that feeling into a condensed orphan source and pawn it off to friends#Yknow how it is#But yeah anyways holy shit wow this song#I listened to it for the first time years and years ago and still it makes me cry every time
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To be honest I kind of just want to write a fic set after Frontiers where Tails ends up in Possum Springs and befriends that crew. Not for any plot reasons, there's no plot really, but just so he can hang around with a bunch of people who have problems and negative feelings and think it's A-OK to feel and express those negative feelings. They treat him like the kid he is because they're in their twenties, and he explodes with everything he's been through in a way to prove that he's not just a kid, and Mae responds with the NitW-certified understated, "Jeez." They take him to smash lightbulbs behind the Snack Falcon. They let him sit in at band practice. He helps Bea out at the Ol' Pickaxe so she can finally fire the creep that assaulted her. (She at first tells him that's probably a violation of child labor laws. He goes, "what are those." She says "fuck it" and hires him.) He and Lori get to gleefully shout, "everything sucks forever!!" while laying on the train tracks because sometimes you've just got to embrace the fact that, yeah, things suck! And maybe they always will! And maybe that's okay! Maybe it's okay to not be okay!!
There's no plot. This follows the events of NitW too, so there's no danger from the cult. Tails is aged up a little maybe, perhaps 12 so that he and Lori can be closer in age (since she's 14), because I want them to be besties and later pen pals. (She gets him a friendship necklace that's two halves of a star. Together they spell "BFF." She gives him the B, because he has a big brain, and keeps the second F because she wants people to think it means "fuck."
Tails: "So . . . Brains Forever Fuck?" Lori: "Exactly" :3)
I just think it would be fun and maybe what he needs. Everything's dying in Possum Springs and everything sucks, Mae is severely mentally ill, Bea is cut off from her dreams, Gregg and Angus have no way of knowing if they'll ever manage to get out, Lori was probably going to be the next target of the cult. But hey, they're still alive. They can still smash lightbulbs and build crazy robots and tightrope walk on the power lines and have knife fights (ok that's just Mae and Gregg) and play grunge rock as loud as they can during band practice. Angus can tell Tails about a universe that doesn't care, and people who do. Gregg can commiserate on what it feels like to feel worthless, and Bea likewise on how it feels to be overwhelmed but knowing you have no choice but to keep going anyway. And Mae can save him the trouble of paying for a shit therapist by telling him, look, the only therapist around will tell you to just journal your thoughts and feelings. So do that. Maybe it helps. She doesn't know. But she does it, so hey, might be worth a shot.
I don't know, I just like thinking about it. Don't know if I'll ever write it, but the idea of Tails and Lori M being pen pals regardless is one I like a lot (as well as Tails taking a burned CD of the band's EP with him when he leaves, and actually picking up on that journaling thing big sis Maeday told him about . . .)
#i recently rediscovered the song ''Ghosts'' by Mandopony which is based on NitW#and it makes me think of this concept a lot#the thing abt the Sonic characters is that feeling negative things is often like . . . they try to fix it for each other?#which isn't bad per se; there's no bad intentions there#but whether it's Sonic or Amy or whoever the idea is always -#no no don't feel sad! believe in urself!! be happy!! be optimistic!! etc etc#but sometimes you NEED to feel bad. sometimes you NEED to just scream abt how much everything fucking SUCKS#bc feeling it & screaming abt it is the only way to get to accepting & moving on from it!!#so i think being around ppl who are like ''yup things fucking suck bro. have a drink (wait how old are you again)'' would be healing#plus there's one lyric set in ''Ghosts' that really works for post-Frontiers:#''I found the stars but I lost my mind''#idk. i'm just thinking abt it a lot#night in the woods#oh ALSO since Gregg is ALSO a fox he could teach Tails the trick where u put cups on ur ears#& then u can hear the ocean#v important trick for him to learn#sth
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Sing me to sleep Sing me to sleep I'm tired and I I want to go to bed
Sing me to sleep Sing me to sleep And then leave me alone Don't try to wake me in the morning 'Cause I will be gone Don't feel bad for me I want you to know Deep in the cell of my heart I will feel so glad to go
(....)
Don't feel bad for me I want you to know Deep in the cell of my heart I really want to go
There is another world There is a better world Well, there must be Well, there must be Well, there must be Well, there must be
Asleep by Emily Browning
#music#sometimes i feel so much like this song💧 i...i...(sigh that so horrible)#i mean i not suicidal and would never have the courage to take out my life💦but sometimes i...i wish i didn't exist#I wish I wasn't me(i hate this feeling I hate this thing i don't understand why i have this!!!?i don't understand! i want to understand💦)#this song gives a little nostalgia cuz i finded at 2017(that's a little far now💧)2017 i used to have...14 years(sigh) time passes💧#This song remind me of p1nkie pie💧(kinda resonate but...that's so sad💧)also remind me of j1rachi...and chip#and i used to also associate with daniel back then (but nowadays i don't know if combines with him)#this song always makes me cry💧💦 (especially the ending) I even avoid listen to this song#I feel so hopeless sometimes i really don't know what makes me keep going#🎶There is another world There is a better world Well~there must be...there must be🎶💧#*I feel a little better now but still i hate this feeling(and i still relate to this song sometimes)*#personal#Idk if i take this post out yes or no cuz gives me a bad vibe but at same time i don't like to pretend that i am ok
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