#these r the choices i make
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people will really go up to shapeshifters like "oh what's your true form? oh but what do you really look like?" are u hearing yourself. do u hear how insane u sound
#*walking up to a creature with no static unchanging form* hey what's your static unchanging form#*walking up to a creature WITH a static unchanging form*#hey what would your static unchanging form be...#if u were a completely different person making completely different choices living a completely different life#sweet baby heimlich manuever idk. a neon hyena furry with a side shave? how do i know#what r u a uquiz#no. no you're not. because a uquiz asks *politely*
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible
reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight âčïž
#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3#too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture#its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it#there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic#the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho#plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric...#... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages'#that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world#i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it
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knighted
#MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME EMOTIONAL. BAUL CALLING HIM BY NAME NOT CALLING HIM HUMAN. WEAK AT THE KNEES#i think ill only have time to draw these two pieces before i leave for the holidays so i want them to be a set. i think its fun#talked abt it on twt but artistically its SO fun that book 7 has the 'good guys' w the colors of the night. greens and purples and darks#and the 'bad guys' of the humans strike their queen down with a brilliant yellow light. the light IS the darkness is conceptually yummy#trying to lean into color choices and intentional comps lately. lilias piece reading L>R feels like the angle pushes down on him#here sebek faces with the eye's movement so its more positive. like hes climbing towards his beautiful bright future. ouughj#never before in fandom have i wanted to so clearly break down my own art choices like a historian but diasom does smth to my brain#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#baul zigvolt#ch 7 spoilers#suntails
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asked my brain 'have you had enough of veilguard yet' and it answered with 'remember when you wanted a vivienne romance so bad you made it up'
#ellana and everything about her. i think she makes multiple questionable choices#but it leads her straight to viv so its all fine actually#i also think her writing and reasoning is super shoddy because i was 16 when i played dai. but now older and not wiser i think#i could make her work. especially as a woman who believes in the power of propaganda#and also because. i have seen so much s/olavell/an (I HAVE NO ISSUES W U GUYS) and thinking of my own lavellan siblings#so i will post crops of sketches. cant keep going like this....#no real mention of vivienne in the game ive GOT to (remembers suicide jokes r bad) blow up a chantry#vivienne de fer#ellana lavellan#my art#dai
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rebellious general catalina and her friend mariavera
#all that and im still missing details...#i woulve liked to make it bette r but i have other proejcts unfortunately revue takes hold of my brain at the worst timing#and i have no choice but to comply#hanayagi kaoruko#tendo maya#revue starlight#revstar#starira#shoujo kageki revue starlight#kaoruko hanayagi#maya tendo#my art
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he's so fucking funny and he knows it
#also sid and i are so alike it makes me cry#in all the weird ways though i sadly did not also get the successful traits just the quirky annoying ones#like not caring much about eating diverse food choices lmao#malkin#anyway geno should talk more just so i can listen to his accent like đ„°#just sayin#geno I know u r handsome and can just sit there and look pretty#but pls
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It is GredPandering hours đđ€đ
#grace stray gods#freddie stray gods#Farishta Bandi#pan stray gods#Stray Gods#stray gods: the roleplaying musical#GredPan#Freddie and Pan r metamours btw :)#tbh Pan and Fred could be interchanged for the grpchat meme but I personally like Greddie to be established first#and then Grace goes 'uuh yeah so I still like Pan. if that's okay??' and then Freddie supports them#bc she's not gonna make Grace choose a second time <3#a polyamorous bisexual making a choice... the answer is always both ofc
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Sometimes I think about hetalia and im like: hey man, what the fuck was all that? Who the fuck let that happen?
#and then i keep recovering memories abt really odd stuff#like. everything about this show seems absolutely radioactive#but like i was watching it as a kid and it wasnt until i was in high school that i started to b like... hm theres something#weird about this. what did adult anime watchers think abt the show? bc as an adult it about boggles my mind#like its such a bad idea on its face and the choice to set a lot of it in wwii with the axis powers like uncritically at its center#makes it even more fucking bazaar. i would absolutely watch a documentary delving into the history of the guy who created the show#the studios that allowed for producion of the manga and the anime and then the public perception#bc i was not really a fandom person when it was big. like i watched the show and read some fics but i didnt really interact with people#i only kno a few horrible things that fans did but im sure there was a lot of really weird stuff#just like. the more i think about it the more insane it seems#a cursed fandom fr#there r two words that make me cringe truely and deeply and one of those words is hetalia#the other is the unironic use of the word yaoi bc i grew up on the early 2010s where i can assure u it was used liberally and earnestly lol
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that moment when you realise Helena Eagan has never experienced freedom the way Helly R has
#âI am a person. you are notâ ok but she gets to make her own choices#ok but she has never sacrificed for a father who only loves her when shes useful#ok but she knows what she wants and she goes for it without fear of judgement or consequence#ok but you can chain her body but her spirit remains unbroken. can you say the same?#severance#severance season 2#severance s2#severance spoilers#helena eagan#helly r#nuclear war speaks
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/27a686824d2f84b949e3f076f787313c/72a0504c77bef90d-28/s540x810/81444f9d9b00d14a453e7cef7e14ff215ce2431c.jpg)
miscellaneous tribe doodles
#I didnât think these out too much#this is my general design for the tribes#if I was to design them from scratch theyâd look quite different I imagine#but I like to keep them close to source material since they are fanbased#art#digital art#fanart#art practice#dragon#wof#dragons#wof art#sandwing#seawing#icewing#nightwing#dc NightWing fans get jumpscares by wof art cuz u guys r doing it to me xD#rainwing#mudwing#skywing#leafwing#silkwing#hivewing#none of these are characters btw#i am aware that the SandWing has an earring#itâs just a choice#can be interpreted as qibli#but just an earring in my eyes#main reason for making and posting these is the realisation that all of my recent posts have been text with no art for my mutuals </3#Iâve been struck with artblock
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9dbd4513395b3cc82b865e8ec91a5e51/cd1a04569288a7e0-26/s540x810/785b1424bf0d99750b983e93ca003c00279db766.jpg)
dirtyhands putting on a show tonight.
#kaz brekker#shadow and bone#six of crows#crooked kingdom#qqart#my gay ass had larger ambitions but got bored so let's clean up this sketch n call it a day!#waiting for my tablet pen 2 come home..................#then i can make real drawings again..#thank god the end of s2 they replace his ugly brocade vest w/ a nicer suit the textile decisions on this show sure r.. choices. lol
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hater alert! far too many people say that juriâs character arc âisnât about her being sad about being gay, itâs about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gayâ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juriâs character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and âsaveâ her from these feelings. like if you think juriâs entire character is just âsad about shioriâ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juriâs locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian thatâs still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesnât want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. thatâs why she forfeits the duel!!!! sheâs clocking out sheâs quitting sheâs saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do
#ok got that out of my system now (rewatched ep 29 duel too many times)#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#idk i just see that argument so much and it makes me so sad#bc i get where ppl r coming from there r a lot of unnuanced âsad bc gayâ narratives out there#but juriâs whole arc is about actively challenging and deconstructing that idea#and it deals with the sadness that comes with being closeted with knowing youre gay and not really liking that about yourself#and eventually she does accept and embrace that aspect of herself but CRUCIALLY she doesnt do it via romantic validation#in fact she does it in the face of like. All Opposition Ever#no one says hey juri if you were gay thatâd be totally fine actually haha#ruka tries to save her from her lesbianism!!!!!!!! like!!!!!!!#it is juri and juri alone who makes this resolution and that is just So Fucking Important to me#shes so. she is the queer character of all time to me i literally dont care no one else will ever come close#LIKE!!!!!!! THE CASTLE WEEPING ON HER WHEN SHE MAKES HER CHOICE!!!!!!!#accepting that part of yourself and having the symbol of matrimony and heteronormativity WEEP over you#no one ever validates juriâs choice to accept her queerness but she keeps making that choice#and her in episode 37âŠâŠ.. god i just might keel over and die girls when juri utena touga parallelsâŠâŠ#anywayyyyyyy love and light i love juriposting#shut up daisy
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new year's eve
A/gathario ft. sick A/gatha being too stubborn for her own good. 8.7k words (đ) There WILL be a part 2 to this at some point, but given how long this took it might be a minute lol.
All of this was inspired by @flutterytickles's tags on this post about the idea of a professor AU and a New Year's Eve party, and when I say I took that and ran with it...đł
I am MORE than happy to yap about this AU forever, but really all you need to know for this is that everyone's teaching at a small, liberal arts college in Boston. A/gatha was hired as an English professor, but now mostly teaches American history through literature and print culture. R/io studied environmental science with a focus in botany and also poetry in school, and she took a pay cut specifically to teach at a school that would let her do both. Other than that, I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!! <3
Please don't reblog to non-kink blogs! Minors DNI.
âSo itâs not going to be a party,â Rio said. âAt least not according to Lilia. But Alice and Jen will be there, and a few other faculty members and some of Liliaâs grad students, and Alice assured me there will be good food, lots of drinks, and probably karaoke if they can find a way to hook it up to Liliaâs TV. Sounds like itâll be a good time.â
âHmm,â Agatha hummed. Rio had her on speakerphone on her desk while she was tidying up her office, using the time that barely anyone was on campus to prep for the spring semester without anyone commenting on how many empty energy drink cans she was hauling out to the recycling bin.
âWell you know how I feel about karaoke,â Agatha said. Rio thought she heard the sound of her clearing her throat, but she chalked it up to static on the line. âBut is Lilia actually inviting me or is this you asking me to come with you?â
âBoth,â Rio said. âLilia doesnât have your number and she figured you wouldnât be checking your work email over the holidays, so she asked me to ask you. And I would like it if you came with me.â Rio paused. âYou know, if you want to.â
There was another little burst of noise on the lineâthis time it almost sounded like a sniffleâbefore Agatha spoke again.
âWell, I promised Nicky Iâd take him to the parade and the fireworks at the Common tomorrow, but thatâll be over and done by eight.â Agatha paused and this time Rio was sure she heard a sniffle. âLet me talk to the kid next door, see if he can sit in after I put Nicky down and IâllâŠâ
Agatha trailed off, and Rio frowned.
âYouâllâŠ?â
âHh-hold on, I n-needââ
Rio could hear Agathaâs breath stutter, and then before she could even process what was happening, she heard what sounded like a poorly-stifled sneeze from a distance like Agatha was holding the phone away from her face.
âBless you?â Rio still wasnât a hundred percent sure she was hearing things right, but she still spoke loud enough for Agatha to hear andâshe assumedâroll her eyes at. What she wasnât expecting, though, was Agathaâs shaky voice when she brought the phone back.
âD-donât,â she started. âIâm notâŠn-nahâŠnotâŠhhehâEHTtschu!â
That was definitely, for sure a sneeze that time, and though Rio couldnât see it, she could tell by the involuntary little groan that followed that Agatha wasnât happy about it. Whether it was about sneezing in general or about Rio acknowledging it with another, more enthusiastic âBless you!â was anyoneâs guess.
âUgh, sorry,â Agatha said after collecting herself again. âYou were saying?â
âI think you were saying something about getting a babysitter? But, if youâre not feeling well we donât have toââ
âIâm fine,â Agatha said firmly. âItâs just some gunk Nicky picked up somewhere. Itâs probably just one of those twenty-four hour things, Iâm sure Iâll be fine tomorrow.â
Rio was pretty sure that wasnât how colds worked, but Agathaâs tone told her the topic was not up for discussion, and Rio didnât feel like pressing the issue would be helpful. This was Agatha, after all.
Last spring when theyâd first gotten paired up to teach an interdisciplinary studies course on floral symbolism in classic American literature and poetry, Agatha had neglected to inform Rio that she was horribly allergic to about half the flowers theyâd be talking about, so Rio hadnât thought twice about showing up to the very first class with a fresh arrangement of native wildflowers to sit on the podium between them as they took turns going over the syllabus.
Agatha had done an admirable job downplaying her reaction for most of the hour-long class, only stifling the occasional sneeze into near-silence over her shoulder, but the second class was dismissed, sheâd dissolved into the single most dramatic, drawn-out fit Rio had ever seen, blushing furiously the whole time and still insisting she was fine when she could gather enough breath to speak.
Rio had run up to her own office to grab her own bottle of Zyrtec, sure the whole time that this was going to get the whole class cancelled, and her partnership with Agatha would be over before it had even properly begun. With the meds in her system, though, Agatha had pulled herself together shockingly quickly to teach her afternoon class, and to Rioâs surprise, not only did their joint class proceed as planned (after a serious, Rio-initiated discussion of what parts of the syllabus Agatha was and wasnât allergic toâwhich Agatha was also blushing furiously throughâand an Agatha-initiated tacit threat to never speak of the incident again), but Agatha had been grateful enough for Rioâs help to offer to repay the favor by taking her out to dinner.
One thing led to another, and now, nearly a year later, they were dating, all because Agatha was enough of a stubborn bitch about her allergies to not keep antihistamines on her.
Rio had never actually seen Agatha sick before, but she assumed she probably wouldnât handle that much better.
âHh-ITSchu!â
Another sneeze from Agatha drew Rio from her thoughts.
âBleââ
âNot yet, IâŠheâETshiu! Ugh, fuck.â
âSalud,â Rio said.
âShut up,â Agatha grumbled. âIâm fine. Just let me talk to the kid next door. I would never say this to his face, but heâs a total loser, thereâs no way heâs got plans. I gotta check if Hanukkah changes anything, but Iâll text you when I know?â
âSounds good. Love you, and get some rest!â
She could practically hear Agatha roll her eyes before she shot back a, âLove you too,â and ended the call.
Not half an hour later, Rioâs phone lit up with a text from Agatha.
Teenâs free to babysit. Pick me up at 9?
Itâs a date, she replied.
~**~
Agatha was already waiting on the front steps when Rioâs overpriced Uber pulled up in front of the elegant Beacon Hill brownstone. Her hair was down, falling in loose waves over her shoulders, and she was wearing lipstickÂ, which wasnât unheard of, but the deep raspberry red shade of it made something in Rioâs brain short out, and suddenly her only thought was about how badly she wanted to fuck it up at midnight.
As she drew closer, though, she realized that the lipstick was a distractionâand a damn good one at thatâfrom the subtle little signs of illness on the rest of her face. Her makeup was impeccable, but up close, Rio could see the shadows of dark circles under her eyes, the barely-there pinkish tint at the tip of her nose, the subtle crease in her foundation that showed just how often she'd beenâ
Right on cue, Agatha scrunched up her nose with a small sniffle, and judging by the way her hands twitched at her sides, she was really fighting the urge not to rub it. Rio would never say it out loud, but she was pretty sure it was one of the cutest things sheâd ever seen.
âHey,â she said.
âHey, yourself,â Agatha said. Those raspberry lips twitched upwards, as Rio wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Her skin felt a little warm for someone outside in the middle of winter. Rio couldnât be confident it was high enough to be a fever, but she filed the thought away for later.
âSoâŠ,â Rio started as she pulled out her phone to look up Liliaâs address. âHow were the fireworks?â
Agatha sighed heavily. âWe didnât end up staying. Nicky didnât sleep well last night, which meant I didnât sleep well last night, and we only made it halfway through the parade before he decided he wanted to go home.â Agatha sniffled and scrunched up her nose again. âPoor kid was practically falling asleep on his dino nuggets. I put him to bed and hhâhe was out like a li-ihhÂ-light.â
The slight hitch of her breath drew Rioâs gaze upwards, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Agatha scratching the bottom of her nose with her thumbnail.
âOh poor thing,â Rio said, definitely not talking about Agatha; that would be ridiculous. âAnd how are you feeling? You sure youâre up for a wild party?â
Agatha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. âI think I can hiih-handle whatever Liliaâs got planned.â
âYou sure?â Rio lowered her phone and met Agathaâs eyes. âBecause we can just stay in, especially if you didnât get much sleep last night. I hear theyâre letting Andy and Anderson drink on CNN again this year, and we could do those Lego flowers from Christmas and just take it easy.â
Yeah, Rio thought to herself; that was a safe angle to approach it from. Asking outright if she was under the weather was a surefire way to get her to dig her heels in deeper, and while Rio was pretty sure that was going to happen anyway, she wanted to make sure Agatha knew she had an out if she wanted it.
As Rio had predicted though, Agatha shook her head.
âNo,â she said. âIâm fine. I already missed the baby fireworks, and I donât even remember the last time I got to go out for New Yearâs, so Iâm not missing this.â She punctuated her statement by audibly clearing her throat, and she glared at Rio for noticing. âAnd I feel fine,â she snapped. âStop looking at me like that.â
âOk,â Rio raised one hand in a mock surrender. âIn that case, it looks like we have a choice between a pretty straightforward thirty minute walk, or we can take an Uber thatâll shave a whole five minutes off that time forâŠâ she refreshed her app and her eyes widened in shock as she wordlessly showed Agatha the inflated price on the screen. âSuddenly Iâm thinking itâs a great night for a walk. What about you?â
When she didnât get an answer right away, Rio glanced up from her phone and took in the dazed look that had settled over Agathaâs features, the way those raspberry lips parted, one hand hovering in front of her mouth as her she scrunched up her nose once more in vain beforeââhiETâSHhiewââITSHhyu!â She aimed both sneezes into her elbow at the last second and then sniffled wetly as she rummaged around in her purse forâŠwho the fuck still carried handkerchiefs in the twenty-first century?
âBless you, bless you,â Rio said lightly, as Agatha blew her nose once, dabbing lightly at her nostrils to keep from completely destroying her foundation. Rio couldnât help but notice that once she was done, she shoved the handkerchief in her pocket instead of putting it back in her purse.
 âThanks,â Agatha muttered. âHow long did you say the walk was?â
âGoogle says thirty minutes.â
Agatha gave a haughty sniff as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. âCloser to twenty if you walk like you live here,â she said. âI vote we do that.â
There was a part of Rio that thought about protesting further, but she knew it wouldnât do any good, and besides that, Agatha was a grown woman who could listen to her own body. If she wanted to push herself for the sake of a stupid work party then who was Rio to stop her? And also, Rio selfishly really did want to mess up that lipstick against a backdrop of fireworks.
âAlright,â she sighed. âIn that case, vĂĄmanos.â
With a swish of her long coat, Agatha set off down the block at such a pace that Rio had to jog to catch up.
~**~
Lilia lived on the top floor of a refurbished tenement building in the North End that was all decorative brick work and copper patina on the outside, with an interior that looked authentically pre-war. Which war exactly was anyoneâs guess, but Rio was putting money on Civil.
The chilly night air had made both of their noses run, and they paused in front of the elevator to collect themselves. Rio pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her hand and swiped briefly at her nose. Agatha, on the other hand, took a bit longer to recover.
Sheâd been mostly alright on the walk over as far as Rio could tellâthe fresh air really had seemed to be a good moveâbut now that they were back inside the dry heat of the building, it was clearly taking Agatha a second to gather herself. She had her handkerchief out and was running it on one finger under her eyes and around her nostrils, but her nose, it seemed had other ideas.
Her breath hitched once, twice, and she tipped her head back, her mouth just open enough that Rio could see she was pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth to try to hold it back. It wasnât enough, though, and Agatha let out a particularly vocal gasp right before she pitched forward with an itchy-sounding âhiihâIIShu!â
âBless you,â Rio said.
âUgh, thanks,â Agatha grumbled. âMust be the temperature change. Iâm fine.â
She at least had the decency to flush as Rio eyed her skeptically, but before Rio could say anything else, Agatha was slipping the handkerchief back in her pocket, sliding open the metal grille in front of the elevator, and waving Rio inside.
âCan you just promise me something?â Rio asked as the elevator groaned and shuddered its way upwards. Agatha didnât say anything, but she side-eyed Rio curiously. Rio took a deep breath and flexed her fingers at her sides as she said, âPromise me if you reach a point where you want to leave tonight for any reason youâll tell me?â
âIâmââ
âI know youâre fine,â Rio said. âAnd Iâll let you be the judge of your own body. Iâm just telling you that if you want an out youâve got one, no questions asked.â
Agatha considered her words for a moment. Her lips were pressed in a thin line as she ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then she sighed.
âAlright,â she said quietly. âThank you.â
âAny time.â
The elevator jolted to a stop and they stepped out into a long hallway. There was music and laughter and a scent that Rio could only identify as âmiscellaneous party foodâ wafting from their left.
âIâm gonna take a wild guess that Liliaâs that way,â she said. She glanced over at Agatha who just tossed her hair over her shoulder, cleared her throat, and sniffed once more before nodding in the direction of the sound.
âShall we?â
Rio hesitated for just a moment, captivated by the way Agathaâs mask slid so smoothly into place. She had hardly realized just how much she got to see when they were alone until suddenly she was faced with the Agatha that was ready to actually walk into the party.
The little signs were still there: the way that her foundation was starting to separate and smudge around the tip of her nose, the way her lips parted ever so slightly so that she could breathe without the air catching audibly on the building congestion in her sinuses. Â It was an impressive performance. Frankly if Rio hadnât seen evidence to the contrary, she might have even believed Agathaâs little act.
Of course, the fact that she had gotten to see that evidence to the contrary at allâeven if Agatha was denying it the whole timeâwas also not lost on Rio. It made her stupid, lovesick heart flutter in her chest just realizing that Agatha trusted her that much. It was also mildly annoying knowing that it would be that much harder to tell if Agatha reached her limit tonight, but theyâd cross that bridge when they came to it.
She must have lingered a bit too long, though, because Agatha noticed she wasnât following and raised an eyebrow at her.
âAre you okay?â she asked, looking pointedly at Rioâs hands.
Rio hadnât even noticed that she was fluttering her fingers at her sides, but the sudden awareness made her stop and flex her hands.
âYeah,â she said. âLetâs do this.â
Rio reached the door at the end of the hall first and knocked right below the brass 4F affixed to it. When no one answered right away, Agatha tried the knob and found that it was already unlocked. She glanced at Rio with a shrug before pushing it all the way open and leading the way inside.Â
Rio's first impression upon stepping into Lilia's space was that it perfectly answered the question, "What if an eccentric gender studies professor with a fortune-telling side hustle had lived in the same rent-controlled apartment since the 70s?" which wasn't a question Rio had been asking, but it was nice to have an answer nonetheless. The entry way led into a spacious living room filled with squashy, mismatched furniture. Decorative lamps on various surfaces gave the room a soft, warm glow, and there were tapestries and artwork covering nearly inch of exposed wall. It was inviting and a little overwhelming in the same way that Lilia herself could be and Rio found that she kind of liked it.
Her second impression was that she and Lilia definitely had different ideas of what "not a party" meant. There were far more people than she had expected here. She vaguely recognized some other faculty members and a few of Liliaâs grad students and TAs who hung out around her office a lot, but she was only halfway through her second year of teaching, so there were still more unfamiliar faces than familiar ones.
"SooâŠ," Agatha started, leaning close to Rio's ear as she slipped out of her coat, "Are we sure that Lilia understands what a party is?â
Rio bit back a laugh as the hostess in question rounded the corner. âDid I hear a knock? I thought Iâoh, Rio, you came!â
Before Rio could react, Lilia swept forward and enveloped her in a brief, but warm hug that had Agatha pressing herself flat against the wall to stay out of the way.
âOh, Iâm so glad you were able to make it,â Lilia said. It wasnât until she stepped back that she seemed to notice Agatha. Something flickered behind her eyes for a fraction of a second before her wide smile was back in place. âAgatha, itâs nice to finally see you outside of the office for a change. Did you two come together?â
âSort of,â Agatha said at the same instant Rio said, âKind of.â
Lilia raised an eyebrow, and Rio glanced over at Agatha who was starting to get a sort of dazed look in her eyes, so Rio quickly took over.
âWe split an Uber,â she said. âThose holiday prices are crazy, but if the alternative is the green line on New YearâsâŠâ she trailed off with a shrug and an eye roll, and that seemed to be good enough for Lilia. Or at least, if she had further suspicions, she was good enough not to voice them.
Out of the corner of her eye, Rio could see Agatha bring her hand in front of her mouth in a loose fist, her thumb resting along her jaw and her first finger pressed against the bottom of her nose. It wasnât entirely out of the ordinaryâone thing about Agatha, the woman was always touching her faceâbut Rio guessed from the way Agatha scrunched up her nose that it was a little more practical at the moment.
Rio was about to come up with some excuse to try to shoo Lilia away, when someone else called her name from elsewhere in the apartment. Lilia glanced in the direction of the voice and sighed.
âI suppose I should go see what all the fuss is about,â she said. "You two feel free to make yourselves at home. There's food in the dining room, drinks in the kitchen, and I think someone brought some..." she mimed smoking a joint as she trailed off, and Agatha snorted. "If you want to do that, though, just do me a favor and take it outside or on the fire escape. The scent lingers in here like nothing else.â
âUnderstood,â Rio said.
Lilia gave a satisfied nod before turning on her heel and disappearing back into the festivities.
Rio turned towards Agatha just in time to see her shove her face into her bunched up coat and muffle a forceful sneeze into it. She came up for air with a slightly dazed look on her face, her mouth still open in preparation, but after a long moment of anticipation, nothing else happened. Agatha exhaled with an angry huff and hung her coat up on an empty hanger.
Rio did the same after her, except she nearly dropped the hanger when Agatha suddenly swore behind her. Rio whirled around just in time to see Agatha crush her nose between her thumb and forefinger as she pitched forward with a pair of stifled sneezes that were nearly silent save for a soft, choked off little gasp.
 Rio almost felt a little guilty for it, but she couldnât help noticing just how different these cold sneezes were from Agathaâs allergic fits. It was a strange thing to think about, but with her allergies, Agatha seemed to have some semblance of control, at least at the start. The tickle tended to be a slower, more torturous build that Agatha was shockingly good at hiding, and the sneezes themselves started off as soft, tickly little things that she was scary-good at keeping quiet. This cold, by contrast, seemed to keep her on her toes, sneaking up on her and then backing off just to come back with a vengeance, and Agatha was clearly already getting frustrated.
Agatha released her nose with a heavy sigh and a wet sniffle, and when she noticed Rio looking at her, she frowned.
âWhat?â she snapped.
âNothing,â Rio said. âBless you.â
That seemed to soften Agatha around the edges for a moment, and she muttered a quiet, âThanks,â before she brushed past Rio into rest of the apartment. âLetâs find the kitchen,â she said. âI donât know about you, but I could use a drink.â
Rio rolled her eyes, but followed along anyway. It was less than two and a half hours to New Yearâs, but she had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
~**~
When Lilia had said there were drinks in the kitchen, Rio had expected champagne, some prosecco, maybe some kind of fancy Italian wines and some seltzers in the fridge for the grad students. What she hadnât expected was a downright undergrad-rager amount of boxed wine and a rainbow of Jell-O shots, but now that she was looking at the spread, she realized that yeah, actually, this kind of tracked.
There was indeed an array of random seltzers and cheap beer in the fridge along with a couple of bottles of something bubbly with sticky notes on them warning that they were not to be touched until midnight. Rio grabbed a mango White Claw and turned around to see Agatha debating between the wine and the shots like it was a matter of life and death. After a moment, she reached a compromise with herself in the form of downing a purple Jell-O shot and then immediately grabbing a plastic cup to fill with room-temperature Franzia, because sure, why not?
âHey, Rio, you made it!â
Rio spun around to see Alice approaching with a beer in hand and a bright smile on her face.
âOf course,â Rio said. âI wouldnât miss it!â She took a sip of her seltzer and surveyed the room. âAlthough there are a lot more people than I expected when Lilia told me specifically that this wasnât a party.â
âThatâs Lilia for you,â Alice said. âAnything less than a full-on rager doesnât count as a party to her. But for what itâs worth, itâll probably start to clear out by 11:30ish. Most people just use this as a rest stop for a bit and then walk to the waterfront to catch the fireworks. But theyâre missing out because thatâs usually about when Lilia gets stoned enough to break out the oracle cards and thatâs worth sticking around for.â
âSounds like fun.â Rio hadnât even heard Agatha come up behind her, but there she was eyeing Alice over the rim of her plastic cup of cheap wine. âWhen do we break out the Ouija board and start telling ghost stories?â
âOh hey, Agatha,â Alice said. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she glanced from Rio to Agatha and back again like she was trying to connect some invisible dots. âI didnât expect to see you here.â
âYeah, good to see you too,â Agatha said flatly. She took a long sip of her wine, and she held her cup in front of her face a second longer than strictly necessary to block her nose from view as it twitched just the slightest bit. A tense moment passed where Rio couldnât tell if Agatha was actually going to sneeze or not, but she recovered quickly, lowering her cup and shouldering past Rio towards the dining room. âIâm gonna get some food.â
âOk, bye, Agatha,â Alice said drily. She shot Rio a look. âI didnât know you twoâŠâ
She trailed off, and the implied ellipsis hanging off Aliceâs words felt like a set trap for Rio to walk into. Sheâd had the feeling that her officemates were starting to suspect something for a whileâfrom the sounds of it there was even a betting pool nowâbut Rio wasnât going to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that easily.
It wasnât so much that they were trying to keep it a secretâsneaking around like teenagers wasnât really all it cracked up to be when they were both parties involved were closer to fifty than fifteenâbut with a kid in the mix, and Rio being so new, and AgathaâsâŠwell, being Agatha, they justâŠnever really cared to make a grand announcement to their colleagues. At some point it would come out, that much they both knew, but for now it was still sort of thrilling to have such a secret that was theirs and theirs alone.
So it was with all of that in mind, that Rio managed to say, âLiliaâs the one who invited her.â She took a swig of her seltzer and wished she had grabbed something harder. âWe just split an Uber here.â
âAh, sure,â Alice said. âItâs just funny; Liliaâs been trying to get her to come to stuff for years now, but this is the first time sheâs actually shown. I wonder what changed.â
âYeah,â Rio mused as she watched Agatha disappear around a corner. âI wonder.â
âOk, wellâŠâ Alice bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands together as she took a slow step back. âI need to track down an HDMI cord to try to set up karaoke, but Iâll be around.â
âIâll see you,â Rio said.
She gave Alice a half-hearted wave and then followed Agathaâs trail into the cramped dining room where she found Agatha trapped in conversation with a short woman with a neat blonde bob who Rio vaguely recognized from theâŠadmissions office? Student life? Something like that.
Whatever they were talking about, Agatha hardly seemed to be in the mood for it, but the woman clearly wasnât taking the hint. Agatha had her hand in front of her face again, the knuckle of her first finger moving slowly back and forth under her nose as she nodded absently, her attention clearly more on her nose than her conversation partner.
If Rio had felt a little guilty about watching before, she felt downright voyeuristic now. From the corner of the doorway, Rio had a perfect view of Agathaâs profile, and she watched with rapt attention as Agatha managed to wrestle the tickle back long enough to interject.
âThat sounds great, Sharon, but you see, the problem is that I donât want to, soâŠâ she trailed off with a contemptuous, open-handed shrug, and the womanâSharon, apparentlyâjust laughed.
âOh, Iâll get you one of these days!â She wagged a finger playfully in Agathaâs direction before glancing down at her empty cup. âIâm gonna get some more wine, but Iâll email you once we get back on campus!â
âIâll delete it,â Agatha called after her in a mocking tone.
She waited until Sharon was safely out of the room before whirling around and coughing into her elbow. She recovered quickly enough, but kept her arm in front of her face for a moment too long. Rio could see her shoulders tense and then release as she smothered a trio of sneezes against her sleeve, each tripping over the next like they had taken umbrage at being held back for so long. âHiihâTSHh!-hâTSHh-TCHhu!â
âBless you,â Rio said.
Agatha startled at the sound of her voice and spun around to glare at her.
âIâm fine,â Agatha said through gritted teeth.
âI didnât even ask.â
âWell you were thinking it and thatâs bad enough,â Agatha snapped.
Her voice was starting to take on a more noticeably-congested edge, and Rio found herself wondering if sheâd have to put her foot down at some point. Either Agatha was a better liar than Rio had thought if she had been feeling this bad this whole time, or she was going downhill faster than Rio had assumed she would, and frankly Rio wasnât sure which was worse.
âIs this where theâŠoh. I hope Iâm not interrupting anything.â
Rio and Agatha both spun around to find Jennifer Kale smirking at them from the doorway like she very much hoped she was, in fact, interrupting something.
âYou wish,â Agatha growled. âWhat do you want, Jen?â
âMaybe to socialize?â Jen said slowly like she was trying to explain the concept to a child. âAt a social event? Although I canât imagine you have much experience with those.â
âCan it, Kale,â Agatha snapped. She took a long sip of her wine and shouldered past Jen on her way back into the kitchen. âIâm not in the mood.â
âNice to see you too, Agatha!â Jen called after her. She turned back to Rio and rolled her eyes. âYou really canât take her anywhere, can you?â
The question felt equal parts loaded and rhetorical, and given JenâsâŠhistory with Agatha, Rio figured her safest option was to plead the fifth. She ignored Jenâs pointed smirk and took another long drink of her seltzer.
âWell, forget her,â Jen said. âI was actually hoping to run into you here. I heard back from my mother about those old Home Garden magazines we were talking about? She found some of my grandmotherâs old issues, and she said sheâll send them out to me next week. I can bring them into the office when they get here if you want to go through them.â
âOh, sweet!â Â Rio had been working for most of the fall on a proposal for a class on Victory Gardens and the development of urban home gardening, and some of the earliest primary sources had proven to be a bit of a bitch to track down. âYeah, Iâll be in and out of the office the next few weeks before the semester starts, but Iâd love to get my hands on anything youâve got.â
âCool,â Jen said. âIâll keep you posted.â She gave Rio a soft smile and looked like she was about to say something else, but Rio took the pause as an excuse to slip away.
âIâm gonna go mingle a bit more. You know, network or whatever, but Iâll see you around.â
âYeah,â Jen said. âYeah, Iâll see you.â
Rio grabbed a star-shaped sugar cookie off a platter at the end of the dining table and popped it into her mouth as she slipped out into the living room before Jen could say anything else.
Agatha was across the room, in another tense conversation with a woman Rio definitely recognized from the library, but she couldnât quite place the name. Dottie? Sarah, maybe? Either way, Agatha saw Rio looking and shot her a sharp glare. Rio took the hint and headed over to where Alice was fussing with Liliaâs ancient CRT TV.
It turned out it didnât even have an HDMI port, which meant the karaoke idea was getting nixed, but after a little bit of snooping in the cabinet underneath, Rio found a dusty plug-and-play joystick with a collection of old arcade games that was still in working order, and it only took a few rounds of Frogger before a full-on tournament broke out.
Rio lost sight of Agatha as a small crowd started to gather around the TV, but despite that, if she was being honest, she was kind of actually starting to have a good time. As the clock ticked ever closer to midnight, the crowd did in fact start to thin out, and those who were left were mostly reaching a pleasant state of being under their influence of choice. Conversation and laughter flowed easily, and Rio found herself suitably distracted from worrying about Agatha.
That was, at least, until she caught sight of Agatha slipping away from the rest of the party, making a beeline for the bathroom down the hall with her hand against her face.
That got Rio distracted enough that she ran Ms. Pacman straight into a pixelated ghost to a collective groan from her audience, but Rio found herself not really caring. She passed the joystick off to Alice who was going for the high score on Galaga, and picked her way out of the crowd.
âYou good?â Jen asked.
âYeah,â Rio said. âIâm just gonna grab another drink.â
She headed into the kitchen and grabbed another seltzerâa wild berry Truly this timeâand made a pit stop in the dining room to grab a couple of those sugar cookies in a napkin before following Agathaâs path down the hall towards the bathroom. She was barely halfway to the door when she heard the unmistakable sounds of AgathaâŠwell, struggling.
âHih-TSSHhiu! Heihh-hhETshiw!â Rio heard what she assumed was a hand slamming down hard on the edge of the sink, followed by harsh fit of coughing that only seemed to feed back into the cycle as Agatha paused just long to inhale sharply beforeââHHETâSshiu! Motherfucker!â
âAgatha?â Rio knocked lightly on the door with her knuckle. âItâs just me. You ok?â
âF-fuck off,â Agatha growled. Her voice was really starting to go nowâit sounded low and scratchy, cracking between syllablesâand though she made a point of turning on the water in the sink, Rio could still hear her sniffling miserably.
âAgatha, come on, donât do this to yourself.â
She got no response to that, presumably because Agatha knew that her voice wasnât helping her case at this point. Rio checked the time on her phone; it was after eleven now. If sheâd known a few hours ago that this was where they were going to end up, sheâd have put her foot down at the start. She should have pushed harder when Agatha was still malleable. Now it felt like she was talking to a brick wall. Or a closed wooden door, she supposed.
Just as she was about to get up to go back to the party, she heard Agatha clear her throat.
âIf Iâb bothering you so mbuch you can just fuckiâg leave,â she snapped.
âAgatha, thatâs notâŠâ Rio trailed off as Agathaâs words actually hit her.
Oh.
So thatâs what this was all about.
âListen,â Rio said. âIâm not leaving you. Not because of the party and definitely not because youâre sick. Youâre kind of fucking stuck with me whether you like it or not, and Iâll give you space, but Iâm not leaving you. Take as much time as you need. Iâm heading back out to the living room, but Iâll be here for you whenever youâre ready.â
The water stopped running and Rio could hear Agatha sniffle again. She didnât say anything, but then again, she didnât really have to. It was enough just for Rio to know she was actually listening. As she started to turn away, she suddenly remembered the cookies in her hand.
âOh, and I brought you a little something to eat. Theyâre right out here if you want them.â
There was a narrow little table with a collection of candles and crystals next to the bathroom door, and Rio set the napkin-wrapped cookies on edge before she headed back down the hallway. When she reached the end, she heard the bathroom door open and shut, and when she turned around, the cookies were gone.
~**~
By 11:30, the party was smaller, but rowdier than ever. Lilia, who had been out on the fire escape more than once, was giggling her way through a tarot reading for Jen over the arm of the other couch. There was music blasting from someoneâs phone, and a cheer went up as Alice finally broke her high score. Everyone that was left was talking or laughing, and it was easy enough for Rio to slip back into the fray and plop herself on an overstuffed couch cushion without so much as a glance her way.
The minutes seemed to drag by impossibly slow. 11:45 turned to :50, turned to :55, and Rio was starting to think she might have to press her luck and check on Agatha again when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and speak of the devil, there she was. Her hair obscured most of her face so Rio couldnât get a great look at her, but she tapped Rioâs shoulder and nodded towards the fire escape, and that was all Rio needed to scramble to her feet and follow her.
There was no one out there at this time of night; everyone left was inside, watching reluctantlyas Alice unplugged the game and tuned the TV in to the Times Square ball drop. Agatha slipped out the open window onto the metal platform, and before Rio could even process what they were doing, Agatha grabbed the railing of the narrow stairs leading up towards the roof and started to climb.
âOk, not that Iâm not glad youâre out here again, but what are the fuck are you doing?â Rio asked, trying not to notice just how high above the city streets they were.
Agatha paused and looked back at her. âI waât to watch the fireworks.â
She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like it had been her plan this whole time, and though Rio hated the thought of setting foot on those narrow, creaking stairs, she had to admit that, yeah, she very much did want to watch the fireworks too.
She followed Agatha, and they both scrambled over the lip at the top. After the hazy warmth of Liliaâs apartment, the chill breeze was a welcome change, and Rio had to admit, the view was nice from up here. Rio checked the time on her phone. Two minutes to midnight, and she swore could feel it in the air.
âYou donât have to kiss mbe or adythiâg,â Agatha said. âI just thought this mbight be dice.â
Ninety seconds to midnight.
âWould you stop me if I did?â Rio asked.
Agatha scoffed. âYouâd really risk catchiâg this?â
âWhat can I say?â Rio shrugged. âIâm feeling lucky this year.â
âBut Iâb gross.â
Rio pressed her cold hand against Agathaâs fever-warm cheekâoh yeah, she was definitely going downhillâand guided her gaze up so she could take her first good look at Agathaâs face in the moonlight.
Agathaâs bright blue eyes were watering so badly it looked like she was crying, and though her mascara had held up valiantly for the last few hours, it was starting to smudge in earnest now. The makeup around her nose was a patchy mess, clinging to the dry, reddened skin where it hadnât been rubbed off entirely. Her lipstick had honestly held up surprisingly well, although the edges were starting to get fuzzy. All of that coupled with her irritated frown as she sniffled and wrinkled her nose again made her look so pathetically adorable that Rio could almost melt.
âSee thatâs the funny thing,â Rio said. âYouâre saying gross, but all Iâm seeing is the most beautiful woman in the world.â
Agatha blushed furiously, but she let Rio pull her closer.
Ten seconds to midnight.
The air was humming with electric energy. Rio was sure there was nowhere else on earth sheâd rather be.
Five!
They could hear the countdown from all directions.
Four!
Agatha swore as her nose twitched and she aimed a loud âHh-ITShoo!â into her shoulder.
Three!
Agatha sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.
Two!
âLast chaâdce to back out.â
One!
Rio smirked. âNot on your life.â
Happy New Year!
All at once, the city erupted around them, but Rio hardly paid it any mind as her lips met Agathaâs, waiting and eager, and for a moment, they were the only two people in the world. Rio could taste the artificial vanilla of Agathaâs lipstick, could feel Agathaâs poor, abused nose against her cheek as she tangled her fingers in Agathaâs hair and savored absolutely everything about the moment.
Agatha was the first to turn away, gasping for breath that couldnât break through the wall of congestion in her nose, but she didnât pull away from Rioâs arms.
They stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads pressed together as the fireworks over the water lit up the night sky around them.
âRio?â Agatha finally croaked.
âYeah, love?â
 âI dodât feel very well,â Agatha said. She let her shoulders drop and rested her head on Rioâs shoulder so that her next words came out even softer. âI thigk Iâb ready to leave ndow.â
âOh, you are, huh?â
Agatha nodded weakly against Rioâs neck. Rio bit back a chuckle and carded her fingers through Agathaâs hair, which just made Agatha press closer. She was for sure running a fever now, but Rio didnât think she needed to say that part out loud.
The fireworks were starting to die down now. The city that slept by 10pm was already quieting again, and a cool breeze blew across the rooftop, making them both shiver. That was enough to finally spur Rio into action. Despite Agathaâs low whine of protest, Rio took a step back, and reached into Agathaâs pocket to find her crumpled handkerchief. She offered it to Agatha who rolled her rheumy eyes, but accepted it gratefully and set about wiping away the tear tracks and the smudged eye makeup. There wasnât much she could do for her foundation at this point, but after a moment she managed to pull herself back to some semblance of her usual self.
âReady?â
âH-hold on.â Agatha held up one finger as she inhaled a shaky breath. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lips parted, and she stayed like that for a long moment, beforeâ
Fuck, I lost it.â Agatha scrubbed at her nose with the crumpled handkerchief in frustration before flipping her hair over her shoulder and following Rio to the edge of the roof to step gingerly back onto the fire escape.
The party was well and truly winding down now, but those that were left seemed occupied with champagne and company, so no one seemed to notice when Rio and Agatha slipped back inside. For a second, Rio almost thought they could make a clean break for it. Theyâd grab their coats and slip outside, and Rio would text Lilia a brief goodbye once they were in the Uber back to Agathaâs place.
That kind of luck didnât seem to be on their side, though, because Lilia caught them as they passed the kitchen doorway.
âOh, Rio, are you leaving?â
Rio stopped dead in her tracks like sheâd been caught sneaking in after curfew. She could feel Agatha stiffen and clear her throat next to her.
âOh, uh, yeah,â Rio said with a nervous glance at Agatha. âItâs getting late andââ
âI have to let the babysitter go,â Agatha chimed in. âRio offered to split a car.â
Her voice was fading in earnest now, but Rio noticed how carefully she was choosing her words so at least she didnât sound too congested on top of it. Her explanation seemed to be enough for Lilia, who smiled at them both.
âWell, get home safe,â she said. âHappy New Year! And Agatha, I hope you feel better soon!â
Agathaâs jaw dropped and she looked like she was contemplating homicide or suicide or both, but Rio just gave her a shove in the direction of the door and gave Lilia a soft âHappy New Year,â and a shy wave in return.
She grabbed both of their coats out of the closet with one hand while she pulled up Uber on her phone with the other. No way they were doing that walk again tonight.
âOk, driverâll be here in three minutes,â Rio said.
When Agatha didnât respond right away, Rio looked up to see her frozen in pre-sneeze torture, her lips parted, eyelashes fluttering, brows knitting together as she took a breath in, and thenâ
âOh fuck mbe!â Agatha scowled and pinched the bridge of her nose hard.
âOh, pobrecita,â Rio breathed. âLetâs get you home.â
Agatha rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, the lost sneeze snuck back up on her with a vengeance just as Jen and Alice passed by on their way to the kitchen.
âHHTâSCHiu!â
âBless you, Agatha!â
âFuck off, Jen!â Agatha called back.
With that, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, held her flaming cheeks high, and stalked out of Liliaâs apartment, leaving Rio to call out a soft, âHappy New Year, guys!â before jogging to catch up.
~**~
The ride back to Agathaâs place was short and quiet, and even though she hadnât strictly been invited, Rio followed Agatha inside where Agatha paid the babysitter, kicked off her shoes, and tossed her coat in the vague direction of the coatrack before throwing herself down onto the couch in the parlor.
Rio had been in Agathaâs house more than a few times, but thisâAgatha being this miserable in her own homeâwas new enough territory that she wasnât quite sure what to do with herself. She shed her own coat and shoes, and picked up Agathaâs so at least they wouldnât be a tripping hazard later, and returned to stand behind the couch.
Agatha had one hand dangling towards the floor and the other over her eyes like if she blocked her vision, she could pretend the night had gone differently.
âSo,â Rio started carefully. âWhat are you thinking? Do you want me to stay?â
Agatha moved the hand over her face and looked up at Rio with red, watery, exhausted eyes.
âI cad take care of byself,â she said.
âI know you can. Thatâs not what Iâm asking.â Rio leaned over the back of the couch and reached one hand down to brush a lock of hair out of Agathaâs face, curling it gently around her finger. âDo you want me to stay?â
âYouâll get sick,â Agatha whined.
âAgain, not what Iâm asking. And for what itâs worth, you did have your tongue in my mouth less than an hour ago, so Iâm pretty sure that ship has sailed.â
Agatha started to laugh, but it quickly turned into a cough that only seemed to irritate her nose as she quickly brought her hands up to cover an itchy sneeze. âhH-IItschu!â
âSalud, baby.â
âThagks,â Agatha grumbled. She sniffled wetly and wiped her nose roughly on her sleeve. âUgh, feel gross! I hate beiâg sick.â
Rio bit back a laugh. âI donât think most people really enjoy it.â She had moved from playing with Agathaâs hair to scratching lightly at her scalp. Agathaâs eyes fell closed and she moaned into Rioâs touch.
âLet me ask a different way,â Rio said. âDo you want me to leave?â
Agathaâs eyes opened again, and when she looked up at Rio with her flushed cheeks and her sniffly nose, Rio felt like she could melt into a puddle on the spot. The flush in Agathaâs cheeks deepened as she slowly shook her head no.
âOk,â Rio said. âThat wasnât so hard, was it?â
âShut up,â Agatha muttered without any bite.
âIgnoring that because youâre sick,â Rio said. âNow what do you say we get you somewhere more comfortable than the couch so you can get some actual rest, hm?â
It took a few more minutes of gentle prodding from Rio to get Agatha to her feet and up the stairs, but once she was moving, she seemed to be able to handle herself. She poked her head into Nickyâs room before heading to her own room to change while Rio busied herself digging around in the bathroom medicine cabinet.
All Agatha seemed to have was a bottle of Advil, a box of Zyrtec, and a mostly-empty bottle of grape-flavored childrenâs cold medicine that was missing the measuring cup. Rio vowed to make a supply run in the morning, but for now, the Advil was probably better than nothing. She filled a glass with water from the sink, and then grabbed the allergy meds for good measure and headed for Agathaâs bedroom.
Agatha had already changed into an oversized t-shirt with an ambiguous number three on it, and a pair of worn flannel shorts that were practically indecent. Sheâd pulled her hair into a loose bun, and she was just finishing wiping off the last of her makeup with a wipe that she tossed carelessly in the direction of the trash can. It missed by a long shot, but Rio thought it was cute that sheâd tried.
âHere,â Rio said, holding out the water and two ibuprofen tablets. âYou didnât have much, but this should help keep your fever down.â Agatha took the meds and washed them down without protest, and Rio offered her the box of allergy meds. âI donât know if theseâll do much, but they might at least take the edge off until I can run out to the store tomorrow.â
Agathaâs cheeks flushed a deeper pink. âAbout thatâŠâ
âWhat are youâŠ?â Rio trailed off as she pulled the blister pack out of the box and found it completely empty. âWhy was this still in the cabinet if you knew it was empty?â
âTo remind myself to buy more,â Agatha said like it was completely obvious and not actually one of the most ridiculous things Rio had ever heard.
âOk, scratch that then.â Rio tossed the empty package into the trash can. âDo you want anything else?â
Agatha shook her head as she set her water on the nightstand.
âJust hurry up and câmere,â she said, making grabby hands in Rioâs general direction. It was quite possibly the cutest thing Rio had ever seen, and she wiggled out of her nice jeans and into a spare set of pajamas as fast as she could so she could crawl under the covers with Agatha, who immediately attached herself to Rioâs side.
âIâb sorry I was a bitch earlier,â Agatha mumbled.
Rio chuckled as she leaned her cheek against the top of Agathaâs head. âLucky for you, I kind of like it when youâre a bitch, because I know you donât mean it.â Agatha grumbled something unintelligible against her neck, but Rio continued, âAnd because the sooner you get being a bitch out of your system, the sooner we get to do this.â
âLove you,â Agatha mumbled sleepily.
âY yo a ti, mi amor,â Rio said. She reached back to turn off the lamp on the bedside table and then pressed her lips against Agathaâs warm forehead as she settled back down.
Agatha was already out, her breathing coming in congested little snores that made Rioâs lips twitch into a smile as she felt her own eyes growing heavy. Her last conscious thought before she slipped into sleep herself was that there was nowhere else on earth sheâd rather be starting the new year.
#it is almost 4:30am i have work tomorrow but the hyperfocus came in clutch it felt like it took me five minutes to get this polished#never have i claimed to make good choices in the throes of fic writing sdhvnhdfv#i am actually like absurdly proud of this silly little fic so i hope y'all like it too!!#part 2 will be probably a little more a/gatha too but don't worry r/io is DEFINITELY getting a turn with this đ#a/gathario#a/aa#snzfic#sneezefic#witchywrites#anyway i love you all and this lil community so much and now i'm gonna go sleep for a million years or at least until my alarm goes off đ«Ą#(also my cat keeps trying to bite my computer as i post this so hello from my cat i guess)#(he didn't help but he wants to be included)
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gsps really are the most Dog of all dog breeds
Iâm honestly surprised there are not more shorthairs on dogblr. Whatâs the hold up people. They are basically just a Malinois minus the teeth and brains and there are like 50 of those bopping around on this site! That and gsps are truly a dime a dozen. I could go on Craigslist right now and find a few byb litters. (I wonât. But I could.)
In all seriousness I think it has to do with the fact that the people who enjoy them unfortunately tend to lean conservative đ especially once you get into the hunting community. Being obviously gay or trans in hunting spaces is not super comfortable or safe feeling and I can only imagine being non-white in these spaces as well. That and the popular training methods used for gun dogs are⊠interesting. To say the least.
Some snippets of the books I was given when I was trying to get into hunting :
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That isnât to say that these are completely void of any useful information, there are lot of simple training steps that make perfect sense for the task the dogs are doing. But I think you have to take some of this with a grain of salt; when I was trying to get into hunting I found that I was able to achieve the same results with less adverse methods, plus my mentor was much more versed in modern dog training and conditioning. Brandyâs training is more of a blend of the two- the most adverse tools we used was a woah- harness (phased out pretty quickly) and an e-collar for long distance recall (again, there is a bit of a trade off of comfort for safety- the dogs job in the field necessitates being off leash and pushing out far ahead of the handler, and they can quickly get out of sight or earshot. Having a Vibrate-based recall cue simply makes sense. This should be paired with a gps collar just in case⊠I was told many a horror story of dogs falling into mine shafts and only being found because of the gps Tag).
Force fetching was never on the table. I saw one handler with a rubber bumper covered in toothpicks so his dog would not bite down too hard on it⊠never had to do that either. Iâve never had to strap an e-collar to my dogs belly. I donât have to force my dog into a down to teach her. I donât step on her toes (on purpose).
Her WOAH command maybe took longer than I would have liked, but itâs solid with lots of practice. Her recall is great and regularly practiced, and I donât need an e-collar to reinforce it. She has a wonderful natural fetch, though we never formalized it. Sheâs beautiful when sheâs on point, and itâs amazing to just see her do exactly what she was meant to do with little input from me. Truly no greater feeling than watching her cross back and forth across a field in front of me and freeze into a perfect point. Itâs like she wants to chase the bird/rabbit/whatever SO BAD sheâs shaking but her genetics wonât let her.
If I had the money to get back into hunting and falconry I would do it in a heartbeat. Itâs a hobby thatâs been sidelined since losing my job for obvious reasons, and itâs the first thing I want to pick up when I have a more stable income. If and when that will happen, I am unsure
What the fuck were we talking about. Oh yeah.
Dogs of all time for sure. But very much a dog that is good at the one thing they are good at, and if you DONâT do that thing, they can beâŠ. A bit much. Being so environmentally focused can be difficult for people I think. Itâs just not what many people are looking for (even though they give world class cuddles). That and the energy level; I donât think itâs too bad, especially now that they are older (we go out for runs like 2-3 times a week) but also I simply would not leave the house if there were no consequences, so having a creature that will dismantle my furniture if I do not go get some vitamin D is a great motivator. The dichotomy of being a Velcro dog and being nearly oblivious to their handler when they are off leash is interesting, and probably why you donât really see them in many sporting dog circles, or working outside of hunting. You gotta cement that recall before you let them off leash, ESPECIALLY being able to recall off of wildlife, and you gotta work really hard to reinforce handler engagement. I joke that Brandy is an idiot, but everything she needs to be able to do seems to be hardwired into her, and the things I had to teach her (recall, leave it, drop it, WOAH ect) she picked up quickly and hardly ever has issues with. (Dont talk to me about loose leash walking though)
Regardless, I love their personalities, their niche behaviors, their energy level, their ability to be the goofiest silliest idiots, their soft soft floppy ears, I love how they talk back to me when I talk to them, I love their big booming barks and club feet. I love that we are ultimately exploring the world together, and the joy we share when running through the woods or on the beach. I love watching them leap into the river with reckless abandon. And then at the end of the day, all they want to do is get under the covers with me and fall asleep. They are perfect monsters and I canât see myself without them.
#sorry wtf is this#idk why the tangent I am sorry#no one else is talking about them so I will#disclaimer every dog is an individual ect ect#and Iâm not trying to shit on people who use adversives in training#your journey with your dog is your own and ultimately you will have to make an informed choice of what is best for your dog#as I am writing this Brandy is curledupon my lap and snoring#also Iâm not a dog trainer so donât like. come for me.#asks#they r popular jorring dogs though#itâs the running so so fast and the crazy endurance I think#energizer bunny ass dogs
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SDCC 2017
#HE#Andrew Lincoln#*#andygifs#THE WHITE SHIRT WAS SO POWERFUL#now im lyin on the cold hard ground#S I R#cease and DESIST#under the dictionary definition of man#probably#im sure#excuse me sir please put your forearms away thank you#or pin me down with one#but you have to make a choice#who said that
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