#these questions have not failed me yet
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as a white woman i think a good question we can ask ourselves is "is this oppression or are my feelings just hurt" and/or "am i being attacked or am i simply uncomfortable"
#these questions have not failed me yet#and have helped me learn and grow as a persom#white women#i saw a vid where a woman asked if black women would rather be in a room with a white man or white woman and the answers were frequently#white man hands down#and i ALMOST did the exact thing dudes did with the man vs bear debate#where im like. um no thats wrong#but the above Qs saved me again from being a dumb idiot#thank you Common Sense
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
#man its rough when people who dont have anxiety have to ask a million questions that the answer is just The Anxiety#like im sorry i dont socialize or want to have a conversation while three other people are in the room talking#its just a lot of overstimulation ok im just suffering please stop asking me things...#i get the loop of im failing a social interaction in my brain which makes it harder to win at a conversation#like every normal person would consider conversations as something you can lose or fail or win (?)#had another coworker who ive only really seen ? but he argues with the one asking me about my hobbies n social life#and so i saw him today and he was i think probably training or showing another guy around#and he was real quick to say no to helping me and im lik e???? i didnt ask for help?#and the other guy was like is that a constant thing? and he said no not me yet but he had to assert dominance#and i looked at him and told him very plainly#i am a pushover with anxiety you dont have to assert dominance at all i promise#and he actually looked kind of taken aback and guilty for snapping on me for no reason so then im like#oh great just me saying i hope to not cause problems caused a problem#anyway ........ i wanted to draw a halloween thing but i just dont have the spoons rn
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genuinely scared after that Jacob interview, it feels like he doesn’t even know if he is coming back for s3😭
oh nooo, I wouldn't worry at all. jacob has GoT training, he's the one person from the cast we can trust to not spoil a ton of stuff (like. statistically he is the only one out of the men who hasn't just started telling people entire plotlines.....) and sam even said that all he knows about s3 is that 'they're writing it.' again, as rolin said in a post-s2 interview, 'I own the night' is not an exit line. rolin loves jacob, jacob loves iwtv, the show needs him to function with any kind of validity, I promise I don't think a thing of it
#jacob is also a silly <3#but for real until the show makes me lose trust i'm going to have trust#and whilst i have questions about the general handling of marketing and stuff#the writing of louis is not something i've felt failed at yet
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When wounded by the past, Lestat will force his way through the initial pain and then refuse to acknowledge the untreated injury, letting it turn septic and rotten, all the while insisting that there is nothing wrong. Armand meanwhile wants to examine every inch of an injury, yet upon determining that it will likely heal in time if never work quite the same, he decides to amputate the limb anyhow.
#having a lot of thoughts about the ways that characters try and fail to deal with their own trauma#I'm trying not to speculate too much about Armand because I don't want to bring my own preconceptions to interpreting the show#however that not trailer did give me a lot of ideas and suggested answers to the question I have been wondering#namely what is the lesson that Louis feels he has learnt about memory and the past from Armand#that quote in the not trailer where Louis says that he is more himself without these memories#baby girl you have so many problems#fun fact: this post is a replacement for my previous unconcluded musings that was tagged 'I won't get into this yet'#Lestat de Lioncourt#Armand#Interview with the Vampire#Jagged Jottings
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My dad just told me that he thought that my fic should come to an end...
I was going to tell him something about how I was proud of how much work I had gotten done over my first free weekend and the first thing he says is
"Not to kill your buzz, 30 thousand words is a bit long, don't you think you should finish it because people are going to get bored"
I hadn't even told him what I had done before he shut me down
And when I, understandably looked at him surprised he got mad at me for assuming he was stupid
First of all, when was the last time you opened a fucking book?
Second of all, when was the last time you wrote fanfiction?
Third of all, have you even read my writing? No you have barely asked me about it
And when he tries to say that "Well I'm finding it really hard to show an interest in you and talk to you because you treat me like I'm stupid"
I explain to him that fanfiction is different, and he said "Well you didn't explain that to me"
Sir you didn't ask, and you didn't let me speak before you started ranting at me and you made a sweeping generalization so don't get mad at me when I'm surprised by what you said
Ignorant fuck I swear
#daddy issues#venting#fanficiton#wayward rambles#wayward rants#shit post#im so fucking mad#he just fails to be a decent person around me somehow#like didn't ask me a question he made a statment#and when i was confused by this because he had nothing to back it up he got mad at me#he made a point about how all books have to end and i'm like...yeah but also series go on forever sometimes. have you seen percy jackson?#the average word count for a novel is literally 70k to 120k#im not even close yet#ignorant fuck
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sorry but i need to share the thought of Bailey being the closest thing the LIs (except. Robin i guess) have to/can consider as a father/mother-in-law when in a relationship with the PC is fucking hysterical to me 💀 knowing them they will just disapprove all of them regardless of who they are
#degrees of lewdity#bailey the caretaker#bailey: your weekly debt has been increased. now it is $4000 for you and robin; and $4000 for making me deal with your horrible taste.#(tbf bailey for sure thinks i have horrible taste in my current save. i've brought both kylar and whitney to the orphanage now.#and whitney calling him my 'daddy' was what inspired this post. ah yes; bailey; whitney and kylar's father-in-law......)#bunny talks#(though i've heard that bailey and eden seem to have more lore than just eden being my buyer if i fail to pay him. have yet to discover it)#(if it wasn't seen in game and it was a question vrelnir answered pls pls tell me through my inbox. or just tell me anyway i'm curious)
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genuine question, do you like maths?? i have a vague feeling i saw your post of tags or something that said something about it but i cannot figure out if it was in fact you or if it was even positive ahahah
Yeah that was me! I don't go looking for math problems, but when I happen to do them, I tend to enjoy it. Wasn't always this way — elementary school math was about speed and memorization and I hated that — but I had a really good teacher in upper secondary school, and it became about creative problem solving. It feels the same as writing a poem in meter or managing to untangle a really bad knot in a ball of yarn.
#i can't do math in my head or memorize formulas#and i'm not precise‚ which is bad for questions that are only numbers. like. 5+6=? type of stuff#because if all you need to is write the final answer‚ then if that answer is wrong‚ youve failed. don't get the points for the exam question#but! upper secondary school math! my beloved! (specifically lyhyt matikka‚ idk what pitkä is like)#there's a book that has all the formulas in it and you can use it and look them up even during exams. no memorization#it doesn't explain *how* the formulas are used but still#and there was more time than there ever was in my previous schools. and finishing fast did not mean you were better. i could take my time#and there were so many... worded questions? like instead of pure numbers they present the problem to you in words. phrases. prose#here is a situation. solve it#and you get to choose HOW to solve it#sometimes i could not remember how a formula worked‚ or hadn't quite figured out a recently taught technique yet#and i just. figured out a different way to solve the problem#can't remember the answer to 5x8? let's count 5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5 instead#38/7? lets draw 38 little balls in the margin and separate them into groups of 7 and see how many there are and how many strays get left out#like that but applied to lots of stuff#and it was enougj! it was fine! it was a valid way to solve it! i got the right answer!#unless i messed something up! a + turned into a - by accident somewhere in the middle of the equation#but! part of this level of math was that it was encouraged to write our whole thought process down#and i‚ unable to do it off the paper anyway#i wrote down ALL OF IT#and the teacher saw where i went wrong and that it was little precision things but that i had the techniques down and#i still got most of the points for those questions instead of losing everything because of an incorrect number at the end#these differences have meant everything#math is puzzles. puzzles can be fun#some of my first memories of math class are of me sobbing under my desk#i cried a few tears in all my matriculation exams too‚ even for my favourite subjects. but not math#one of the most important questions was a geometry one. i shine in that area#i grinned doing it
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i want blossom to have a moral and i want the moral to be "appreciate and care for your younger siblings." i feel like that is probably not the moral of blossom though.
#where the hell are they going with song han. like what is going to be the point of that character#maybe he is an object lesson in being nice to your didi who idolizes you? but. probably not.#there was a point to ming'er. multiple actually. but i can't figure out song han yet#still bored by the romance. watching romance show and only caring about the little siblings...i have Failed as a viewer#but if the main characters were just nicer to their younger siblings i wouldn't be distracted by how underappreciated they are#it's like there's something pending that i'm waiting to be resolved and until it's resolved i can't care about any of the stuff#that the narrative wants me to care about#okay so song mo is going to die in a year. that's nice. is he going to spend any quality time with his brother in that year?#<-not the question i think i am supposed to be fixated on but such is life#blossom#my posts
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I need ppl to understand that if I text them randomly with an odd question, they should immediately assume I'm starfished on a wooden or tiled floor staring up at a moving fanblade, even if, physically, I am not
#Laying on the floor watching ceiling fans is an experience#That's coming from someone who has a mild fear of them#Shout out to ppl who have bunk beds and ceiling fans#How have you not been decapitated yet#That always terrified me#You can also tape glow sticks to them#Makes a beautiful image#So glad it's the weekend now#I get to be less socially present#I should point out#That's immediately what I think of when I ask a friend a question online#Every time w/o fail#I'm bored#And have run out of tags#:p#random thoughts
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There are two wolves inside me. One is trying to convince me to do extensive research for the job interview tomorrow and the other is saying “wing it”
#there’s yet another that’s saying ‘cancel it’ but no i want to do this#i’m just sick of working from home. it has made me realise that i have zero ability to self-motivate myself or to set up a schedule#and stick to it#(case in point: i’m on here at 10:19 on a thursday morning instead of working)#thank god i don’t have concrete deadlines to stick to because i would’ve failed all of them and gotten fired#anyway. to be honest i don’t know how much research i NEED to do? like i don’t know what they’re going to ask me#it’s either going to be a super informal interview where they basically have already made up their minds to hire me if i seem credible#or it’s going to be a long drawn-out process of structured interview questions and ‘tell me about a time you went above and beyond at work’#which… is a GARBAGE question i’m sorry. above and beyond??? girl i earned minumum fucking wage at my last job#i’ll go above and beyond when you pay me more than the bare fucking minimum. £12 an hour?? you’re lucky i showed up and didn’t steal stuff#i think my ‘research’ is just going to be making shit up to be honest#i have figured out where this place is geographically. i have looked at the website (which mostly just had pictures of a big pool)#i want to look at coshh guidelines and shit again and i want to make up some stories about me being an exemplary employee#because i know that just having been slightly above average is not enough. i’ve been slightly above average at most things my whole life#and it’s never enough#tbh i might just print out the job description and highlight the parts i already fit (so i know to talk about that in the interview)#and then find ways to make it look like i COULD fit the parts i don’t fit. or could learn to do so#i don’t want to doooooo this i hate job interviews. i hate bureaucracy#i hate having to beg for a job from companies that should be begging people to work for them#considering the fucking insane amount of duties they want to give you for fucking minimum wage. but anyway#if you need me i’m going to fight with my printer. it’s trying its best but ‘its best’ is not good#personal
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Not to ask obvious questions that may not be worth asking, but, in Good Omens Season 2, when we see Michael’s trial someone (can’t recall who) says something about how one prince (I think prince is what they say) being sent to hell is fine but two shows an institutional issue and Michael (being a prince) won’t be demoted to hell because of this. Is Satan/Lucifer (because from what I googled they seem to be the same in the Bible) the prince they are referring to as the first one to be cast out?
#I don’t know very much about the original text of the Bible and I haven’t yet read the original Good Omens book#so I’m not sure if my question would be answered if I had read either one#it also seems like there may be different systems of belief when it comes to the angels and there titles#so idk if that plays into it at all#I tried google and it failed me#I just wanted to ask cuz it seems like there are a lot of hints that Crowley might have previously been and archangel#or at least a very powerful angel#and I wasn’t sure if this was possibly another hint or if this is just Bible knowledge I don’t have#good omens#good omens season two#good omens spoilers#crowley#good omens crowley#good omens michael#archangel michael
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OOF ending an episode just before a final death save is so rude.
Also I love that you can judge the damage output in an episode by how many times the gang calls Murph Brian lmao.
#shout out to anyone who was listening live when Rogue Gods went up I would have lost my damn mind.#spoilers in the tags#Also mmmm this short rest is full of terrifying information Jake and Emily saying that they would go with Thiala without question#to get Bev back is SOMETHING can you IMAGINE#Like imagine if the reincarnate failed and Thiala swept in with a secondary offer - woof#naddpod#bahumia#yet another episode that makes me want to troll through AO3 for fics.
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men who dont share caring responsibilities of their newborn baby, who say things like 'you can see to the baby during the night, and I'll see to them during the day', who make their wife/gf/partner (who is still recovering from giving birth!!!!!!) do the vast majority of the care work, should actually literally just kill themselves.
#this is lifted from a real life example of someone known to me#the man in question is also practically unemployed!!! he has a failed business and now works 1/2 day a week. yet he can't bring himself to#get up in the night to see to the baby? actually die.#i hope she divorces him#i already have many many reasons to hate (and i mean hate btw) this man#this is just yet another
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I'LL BE GENTLE.
nsfw (18+). includes first time, virginity loss, unprotected sex, porn with feelings, caleb is a virgin loser who pretends he's a sex god but is actually ready to cum the moment he slides it in, cunnilingulus, lots of nicknames, belly bulge because caleb is huge, creampie (because i firmly believe he's into breeding). likes and reblogs will be very helpful !!
”Hng... is it all in yet?”
The question almost sounds silly, reminiscent of the times you went on trips with Caleb and you'd ask him if you were there yet every five minutes. But you can't laugh now because you feel like your body's about to split apart, filled to the brim as Caleb breaches your cunt as slowly as he can manage.
He's gripping each side of your waist, his restraint felt through the faint trembling of his fingers. Be patient, he chants in his mind, sweat dripping down his temples. If you're not careful, you're going to hurt her.
But all that leaves his mouth is, “Just half. You're too tight, pipsqueak. Feels like you're about to cut my dick off.”
“Half?!” you exclaim in disbelief. You do know for a fact that Caleb is quite... big. Not that you have a frame of reference — this is the first time you've seen one, most definitely the first time you've ever taken one, but knowing you only have half inside you when you feel full is. Kind of making you crazy. Just a bit.
You hit him in the chest with a loose fist. “This is your fault. You're too big.”
Caleb laughs weakly, sounding like the wind is knocked out of him. “You're blaming me for something I can't control now?”
“Yes, I am. How do you even— walk around with that thing? I don't think that's a normal size.” You're blabbering. All you've said thus far is probably the most unsexy thing Caleb's ever heard, nothing like the dirty talk in the porn DVDs under Caleb's childhood bed that he insists were from his high school friends and he didn't watch any of it.
Even so, the desire in Caleb's eyes doesn't dwindle. He leans down to caress your cheek, the softness in his expression making your heart race. “Well, too bad. This is the only one you're getting.” He traces the line of your jaw, peppering kisses over the column of your neck. “You can't do this with anyone but me, right?”
It isn't a question, and Caleb certainly won't take no for an answer.
“...Caleb, you say the craziest things someti— ?!” You squeak as Caleb starts rubbing your clit in tight circles, sucking new marks onto your collarbone. You loosely grasp his flicking wrist, conflicted between pushing his hand away or pulling it closer. “Don't— do that so suddenly— ah!”
“I know you can take me in. You just have to try harder,” he murmurs to your skin, feeling your walls spasm around his cock with every flick of his fingers. Watery noises soon follow his motions, embarrassingly audible along with the whimpers you try and fail to hide. His heart squeezes in his chest when you hold onto his back tighter, letting out small ‘ah-ah-ah’s that send heat directly to his cock.
“Caleb...” you mutter weakly, dazed eyes staring at the ceiling. “Caleb...!” you gasp with more urgency when he changes the rhythm, rubbing faster as he slowly slides another inch inside your pussy.
“Just a bit more, baby...” Caleb hisses as you engulf him in your warmth, walls clenching around him wetly. “Yeah, that's it... just like that... mn, good girl...”
Finally, you feel his pelvis press against your skin, the entirety of his thick cock inside you. You let out a shuddering breath, fingers running through Caleb's sweat-matted hair, attempting to adjust to the new sensation of fullness.
The feeling of being full is indescribable; it feels new, perhaps a bit uncomfortable, and yet it's also fulfilling, knowing you're connected with the person you've always longed for in the most intimate way possible.
Caleb's panting with the exertion of holding back, his hand cupping your cheek, tenderly swiping over the soft skin with his thumb. “Do you feel any pain?”
You shake your head, leaning to his warm palm. “No, I just feel... a lot right now.”
Caleb smiles in relief, pecks a kiss on your forehead, and sucks in a breath when his gaze trails lower on your body. His hand on your waist moves to splay on your stomach, the direct pressure evoking a sharp “ah!” out of your lips.
“N... no way...” you stare at the faint bulge in both mortification and arousal. “Is that— your—”
Your stomach is... not supposed to look like that. It isn't, right? But Caleb is looking at you with such awe and wonder, tracing the highest point of the bulge on your stomach, the tendrils of desire swirling in his gaze darkening further.
Slowly, Caleb pulls out until only the tip remains inside, and you watch as your stomach flattens with his movement. “Fuck,” he says with feeling. “Please tell me I can move.”
No, you can't, you want to say. Just the sight of him filling you up — in the literal sense of the word — is overwhelming. But you know Caleb is holding back for your sake. Always has been.
Has held back probably before you could even remember, playing the role of an older brother figure looking out for his reckless sister to suppress the feelings he's long learned to ignore. Has held back every time a boy looked at you with lovestruck eyes in high school, staring at the love letter on your desk but never commenting on it. Has held back whenever you told him you were going to a mixer your friends cajoled you into joining, zipping up your dress for the night and reminding you to call him when you were done so he could come pick you up.
He has been holding back even just a while ago, patiently stretching you open with his fingers as he kissed away the apprehension in your eyes, often asking you if it hurt and if you wanted to stop. And if you said yes, he really would; he'd wash you up, carry you to the dining table, and cook up a midnight snack for you before cuddling to sleep. You know that because Caleb would do anything for you.
So now, with the veins on his arms pronounced from the strain of gripping the sheets, his eyes attentively looking at your expression for any signs of pain, you can only say one thing. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.
“Fuck me, Caleb.”
There's a hitch of a breath. And then he slides home.
Each thrust of his hips is pronounced with wet plaps, obscenely loud while slick dribbles out of your cunt, pooling into the sheets beneath you. His cock is covered in your arousal, glistening in your wetness, and he pounds into you again and again, watching your cunt cling to him every time he pulls out.
“You seriously...” Caleb groans, his loving gaze tinted with hungry desire. A delighted thrill runs through him each time you call his name sweetly, nails raking down lines on his back, the cutest noises leaving your mouth. “I wanted to treat you gently, but I can't hold back if you say it like that.”
He's dreamed of this for a long time, as far back as a teenager hitting puberty. The prettiest girl on his bed, disheveled by his doing, clinging around him as he pounds her to the mattress, able to take her however he wants and allowed to whisper the overflowing affection he feels without needing to hide it anymore.
It was once a fleeting dream. Just something he knows will never come true, so long as your relationship doesn't change. At one point, your relationship even almost seemed irreparable.
But you stubbornly pulled him back to you. Even when it hurt you. Even when he was content to look after you from a distance. Even when he accepted that no matter how much he wanted you, his love would never mean anything if you didn't love him back.
But you allowed him this much. You allowed him to be in such close proximity, to shower you with affectionate kisses, to lick up your tears. You gave yourself to him, your firsts, your heart, your love.
It's more than he ever hoped for.
“Mine...” he mumbles to himself, kissing at every expanse of skin he can reach. “You're really mine...”
Caleb's hands roam over your curves, caressing your body with care, plucking away at all your sensitive spots. A smattering of red marks appear with every press of his lips, and he never gets enough of seeing them bloom.
“C-Caleb, don't suck there... Everyone's going to see them,” you whine, trembling with the pleasure. His hips never stop driving forward, aimed at the spot that makes your toes curl, your walls squeezing down on him. It's hot, wet, and so damn good to feel you gushing around him, soaked in your warmth.
“Let them see.” He sucks another mark beneath your jaw. Satisfaction curls deep in his chest when he thinks how it'll peek through the collar of your hunter's uniform. “It'll drive away the pests.”
It's not something he'd say on an ordinary day. But restraint slips from his fingers each time you indulge him, and this time is no different.
“Ah, mmh, haa...!”
“Does it feel good when I thrust shallowly like this?” He presses insistently against a spot that has you writhing, clawing at his back. “Or you like being fucked deep?”
He sheathes himself in one go, the sound of his balls smacking against your ass absolutely filthy. Squealing, you cream around him, fresh spurts of slick soaking his cock. “Fuck,” you gasp, grasping at his broad shoulders for purchase.
Caleb grins. “Yeah,” he breathes out, feeling your wetness drip down his thighs, “that's what I thought.” And he does it again.
Plap, plap, plap. The slap of skin on skin continues to ring out, each time wetter than the last. You're trying to bury yourself under the covers, but Caleb certainly doesn't mind the mess. Revels in it, even, watching the glistening slick coat him further.
“Come on, now, don't hide your face,” he coos, picking up the blanket you've taken to hiding your face with. “I want to see you.”
“Mmgh... no way...” your voice is trembling, teary eyes looking up at him in a show of upset. “I'm— ah— making a weird face right now...!”
“No, you're not.” He presses a kiss on your forehead. Your closed eyes. The tip of your nose. “You're so cute. The most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on. So don't try to hide, yeah? Let me see you.”
“Ah, hn, Caleb, that's— !”
“Feels good here?”
“Yes, yes, right there! Ohh...”
Caleb groans, “You just squeezed me so tight.” He licks a stripe up the valley of your breasts, tongue swirling around a nipple, all the while never leaving his eyes on your pleasured expression. When he grinds against a spongy spot, you jolt underneath him, a loud cry of his name spilling from your lips.
So cute so cute so cute, the desperate chant in his mind continues to say, his hips tirelessly driving forward to plunge into your warmth. You sound so sweet, gasping and moaning uncontrollably, crying out for his cock.
“Caleb,” you sob, trying to string together a coherent thought. “Is it just me or, mmph, you became even bigger?”
Caleb laughs, almost apologetic. A peck lands on your jaw. “Sorry, sweetheart. I can't help it.”
You hit your fist on his back. “Help it! I think I'll split into two if there's even just an extra centimeter in me...!”
“Even if you tell me that much...” he hisses through gritted teeth, trying to keep his head clear in spite of your walls spasming against him, hot and wet and so slick he hears every move he makes. “Mm, fuck... You feel too good inside, baby... I've been trying not to cum since we started...”
He buries his face to your neck, breathing in your scent. You shiver, his warm breath tickling your skin, thrusts slowing but hitting deep all the same. “A-are you close, Caleb?”
“I'm doing all I can so I won't be, pips.”
“Well, I...” you swallow, weaving your fingers through his hair. “I don't mind if you... cum first.”
“No.” His hands find your thighs, gripping at the soft flesh to spread your legs wider. Your folds are an enticing color, sucking around his cock, and he has to bite his lip to avoid letting out a pathetic moan. “This night is about you. I want to make you feel good.”
He sits up, and you almost protest when he pulls out, the gaping emptiness nearly leaving you cold. “Wait—”
“Shh,” Caleb leans down, hooking your legs over his broad shoulders. “Leave everything to me.”
He pools saliva at the tip of his tongue, letting it drip down your cunt. He smears it messily around your clit with his thumb, rubbing and prodding, watching your face twist in pleasure with a hooded gaze.
“Caleb, you— haa!”
Whatever you're about to say is interrupted by a scream when Caleb begins to lick, his tongue lapping at your pussy almost hungrily. He swirls it around your little bud, encloses it around with his lips to suck. You begin pulling his hair when he dips his tongue inside your hole, drinking up the juices that overflow and drip down his chin.
Caleb has never looked so disheveled before, sweat dotting his skin and almost looking feverish. He looks drunk between your legs, utterly intoxicated by your taste, lapping up everything he can collect on his tongue. He doesn't mind suffocating like this, his nose buried in your scent, sucking your essence. He certainly doesn't mind it when you start grinding on his face, pulling him even closer, nearly leaving him with no room to breathe. His cock feels close to bursting at the sounds you make alone.
“Ohh, that feels so good, Caleb! Mm...!”
“Shit, you really like this, huh...”
Caleb doubles his efforts, plunging his fingers into your cunt alongside his tongue. He spreads your hole, digs his digits deep, thoroughly pleased when your wetness never stops leaking. It just keeps coming out, soaking his fingers and the bottom half of his face.
“Caleb, I'm close,” you whine as you shake, hips grinding back to his skilled mouth, “I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, cumming—”
You moan high and reedy, back arching as you lose yourself to the pleasure. Yet at the first spurt of cum that lands on his tongue, Caleb quickly sits up and pulls out his fingers.
He pins your legs to the mattress and thrusts back inside in one go, your pussy still spasming from cumming.
“Fuck!” you scream, nails scratching down his back. “Wait, I'm still cumming! I just came!”
Caleb doesn't stop, fucking his cock deeper with each splash of your cum soaking his skin. “You're so fucking tight when you cum, fuuuck...” he hisses, hastening his thrusts, hips having a mind of their own. Everything feels so good that his mind is getting dumbed down from your delicious warmth. “Baby, give me one more, I have to feel you cumming around me.”
He pounds you to the mattress relentlessly, every trace of restraint gone in his body. The only thing in his brain is the single-minded focus of making you cum again, pulling out more sweet noises from your mouth. He delights in each spurt of arousal that comes out when he presses against a good spot, and he knows it's good because you squeeze around him so nicely.
“It feels so good,” you sob to his shoulder. “Caleb, ohh, ahn!”
“Feels good for me too, princess. You're perfect, fuck!” Caleb snaps his hips, almost reaching completion. “I'm gonna cum soon. Where do you want it, princess? Where do you want me to cum?”
You wrap your legs around his waist, causing him to slide even deeper inside you. “Inside! Cum inside!”
He swears under his breath, cock pulsing. His hand travels south to toy with your clit again, rubbing incessantly to make you cum faster. Clear liquid squirts out of your cunt and he fucks you through it sloppy, holding your legs steady while you writhe from the overstimulation.
“I'm going to cum inside you, baby.” With one last thrust, he stills inside your cunt, releasing his cum deep inside. “Ohh, princess, I'm cumming— take every last drop, fuck, shit—”
He crushes you to the mattress, squeezing you in his arms as his cock shoots out strings of cum. “You did so well,” he murmurs, kissing everywhere he can reach. You lean more to his touch, tired yet fulfilled. “Sorry, that was too much, wasn't it? Does your body hurt?”
“I'm fine...” you wince when you feel cum drip out of your cunt at the slightest shift of position. “...Caleb.”
He's still kissing you all over your face, hands cupping your cheeks. “Hm?”
“You're still hard.”
Another kiss on your brow. “Don't mind it, princess. I'll handle it myself.”
“Oh...” you fiddle with the tag on his necklace, gnawing on your lip. “I was going to say I could help out.”
“...”
“Caleb? ...Did you just cum a little?”
“No, fuck, just— come here.”
#love and deepspace#caleb x reader#caleb x you#lads#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#caleb x reader smut#love and deepspace x reader smut#love and deepspace smut#lads smut
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𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 | Harry Castillo x reader

↝ masterlist | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi
summary | Five years of being his assistant and five years of failed attempts at finding love with your help, but maybe the obvious answer has been there the entire time. Alternatively, you fucked your boss? Uh-oh.
author's note | harry...randy...who knows. i'll change it if needed but given the name tag, this is what i'm sticking with for now. skip the lecture about not writing until the movie is out, this isn't hurting anyone so don't bother me about it, xo. the horny demons always win. i listened to this song i repeat while i wrote, felt fitting.
content warning | 18+ MDNI, power imbalance (boss/assistant), work wife/work husband type beat, mentions of failed dating, being superficial, mentions of sugar daddy things, expensive gifts, reader is a godly assistant with a will stronger than mine, he smokes, they drink, sex while inebriated, he's down so bad, also oral!, tense morning after, open-ended
word count — 4.5k
You knew him better than anyone.
From his breakfast order down to his specific choice of underwear, like you weren’t making the weekly purchases and filling up his rarely used fridge in the apartment that was way out your price range, arranging his schedule down to the minute, booking his flights, packing his bag.
Really, Harry should just marry you.
…it was more of a joke, but you’ve teased him about it once or twice.
He called you his work wife anyways, but in reality, you were just his assistant.
He did trust you with his life, though.
More importantly, his love life.
“Kim flaked,” he tells you over coffee, perched at his kitchen island as you typed away on your laptop, looking up briefly with eyes that begged for him to explain, he does and makes a show about, mimicking a more feminine voice as he relays the message she gave him, “same song and dance—you’re great and fun but I can’t do anything serious right now,”
“Were you nice?” you ask curiously.
Harry rolls his eyes at that, like it was a stupid question to ask. But, eventually he nods.
“Did you ask questions?” you continue, fingers folding over the screen of your laptop to close it.
“Plenty, she works in finance, loves the color blue, wants to travel,” he could go on and on, throwing his hands up in defeat before they slump to his side, “maybe I should try out a real matchmaker—not that you’re bad at it—”
“You think I’m bad at it,” you smile knowingly, “don’t you?”
“No,” you’re unconvinced, “besides—you’re my assistant, I never meant for that type of responsibility to fall on you, you know?”
“I’m doing both of us a favor,” you remind him, “I think…it just takes time.”
And fortunately, all you had was time.
It felt pointless for Harry to spend a chunk of cash to have someone pair him up with the supposed love of his life, though you knew that money wasn’t a problem, you felt a weird responsibility to protect him, unsure how quickly someone would take advantage of his kindness.
“There’s a gala,” you tell him offhandedly, “next week. I already cleared your schedule for it. I think…maybe you should just peruse this time.”
“Peruse?” he chuckles, eyes creasing in amusement, his crow’s feet deepening with the emotion, “You’re a control freak, you sure about that?”
“That’s just mean,” you retort, “you’re paying me anyways—if you didn’t like it you’d fire me.”
He knew you were right, sipping quietly at his coffee in response.
He was frustrating, predictable, and painfully superficial.
Every date was an exercise in appearances—perfectly tailored suits, dinner at the most exclusive places, charm turned up to eleven. And yet, none of it ever stuck. He was overcompensating and you weren’t sure why.
He was a good guy, down to his core, and in the five years you had worked with him there was never a moment you thought he didn’t deserve love, he was perfect. Too perfect.
That was the problem.
“You know, you’re like prime age to be a sugar daddy,” you tease him, knowing how he felt about the topic, “there’s plenty of apps that I can—”
“You’re relentless,” he grumbles, “if you ever did that, I’m firing you on the spot.”
“You wouldn’t,” it was a gentle challenge, smirk flashing across your face as he returned it with fondness, “without me you would crash and burn, Mr. Castillo.”
And he knows it.
–
The gala is a bust.
So, as a bandaid to his wounded ego, you order takeout and keep him company in his big, lavish apartment—it wasn’t the first time, it wouldn’t be the last.
You knew what the issue was, but there was a sinking feeling in your stomach that told you he wouldn’t receive the information well.
It was after every failed date, every expensive dinner.
They saw him at the surface, the charming man with an easy, warm smile.
You saw the man who kicked his shoes off and stripped himself of his suit jacket the second he walked through the door, who couldn’t resist a late-night binge of his newest streaming obsession, someone who insisted on stirring his coffee counterclockwise because it made it taste better, a man would text you pictures of squirrels in the park that he would feed on his way home.
It wasn’t that you were pining over him. You just knew him better than anyone.
“Why are you so dead set on marriage?” you ask him over dinner, turned toward him on the couch as he reaches for the remote to pause the show on screen.
He’s had this conversation before, but he’s never asked you any questions on the matter.
“What’s your opinion on it?” he’s avoiding, clearly, but you’ll bite.
“I don’t date, I’m not interested, signing a piece of paper isn’t going to signify my feelings toward someone if it came down to that,” you admit, “I’m not cynical, marriage is fine, but this stuff takes time,”
“Well, I’m not getting any younger,” Harry gripes, arms reaching over the back of the couch as he mirrors your position.
“Oh, please,” you scoff, “you’re forty-nine.”
“Almost fifty,” he corrects, “I’m ancient.”
“O-kay,” you sigh, “do you want honesty?”
“I’d hope you were being honest with me all the time.”
“No,” you laugh softly, “like…brutal fucking honesty?”
He’s silent, but attentive.
“You keep choosing women who treat you like they’re next getaway vacation and you fall for it every time,” his forehead creases at the words, looking hurt by your words, “I see your bank payments every month, the activity—”
“It’s not like money is an issue,” he defends, causing you to sigh dramatically and fall back against the arm of the couch in faux distress.
“This is impossible,” you groan, staring up at the ceiling before you feel his hand circle around your wrist, tugging gently,
“Okay, I’m listening,” Harry says softly, pulling you upright, “I’m sorry—I am.”
“You want it to work so bad,” you tell him, “I see it—every time you approach someone you put on that smile and it works, but you’re giving so much and yeah, maybe some of them like that, but I’m sure a few would just enjoy a nice dinner here, or something simple. I think you forget to realize that someone can just be interested in you, for you, not for what you are or have,”
It’s profound, the way his face softens at your words, his touch still lingering around your wrist.
You’ve never even considered or entertained the idea that you might find Harry attractive or even attainable—for one, you had signed a contract that agreed to a professional work relationship, as a benefit for both of you, not that he ever had any intention to begin with.
You’ve been with him for so long, it feels, a fresh and young mind to help keep him active and busy, constantly refreshing ideas and helping him not feel like he was stuck, and you were damn good at taking care of him when he’s often tended to neglect himself.
The only thing you know is that he’s never looked at you like that.
Like you could see straight through him, all his flaws on display.
But, that was because you knew all of them.
You knew everything about him, even the worse bits.
His bad habits, his self-inflicting ones, everything that he refused to bring to the surface.
Harry’s fingers still lingered around your wrist, the weight of your words sinking in.
But then, just like he always did, he broke the tension with a huff of laughter and frowns as he brushed you off.
“You just think I’m a sucker, don’t you?”
You shook your head with a faint smile, returning your arm to your lap.
“No—I think you like to see the good in people. So much good that you’re willing to ignore red flags.”
“Jeez,” he chuckled, clutching his stomach like you had physically wounded him, “that hurt.”
You shrugged and reached for the remote to resume the picture on screen, “You’ll survive.”
–
It was your day off—Sunday, the one day.
“Have you seen my cufflinks laying around?” he asked over the video call, “Shit—my tie, too. I can’t find it anywhere. I thought you said you laid it out for me.”
“No, I said I had it hung up and for you to lay it out before you showered,” you correct him, laying tiredly on your couch as you watched him search around frantically, hair damp and his bare shoulders on display, only catching the briefest glimpses of the towel around his waist as he turned the camera around, “Waitwait—go back!”
“There’s no fucking way you saw it,” Harry argues, “I’ve been looking for the last ten minutes—”
“In the pocket of your suit, the tie is there,” you tell him, “and given that you probably tossed the suit on the bed like you always do, the cufflinks are probably somewhere hiding under the blanket,”
He tosses you against the mattress, your screen succumbing to darkness as you wait, some shifting of the sheets before you hear him make a sound before he appears again, cufflinks pinched between his fingers and a look of defeat on his face.
“What would you do without me?” you ask with a cocky grin, finger hovering over the end call button as he shakes his head.
“What was this for again?” Harry asks curiously, laying you down upright as you caught a glimpse of his bare chest as he shrugged the crisp, white button down over his shoulders.
“It’s a charity auction, your favorite,” you chirp, “and you’re flying solo, so—don’t do anything stupid or…crass,”
“If I paid you double a day of work would you go?” Harry asks after a long pause, glancing down at the screen, “Triple?”
“Triple?!” you gawk, “see—you’re insane, this is what I’m talking about,”
He chuckles despite your response, “You’re good at keeping the sharks away,”
There were particular hawking businessmen who made it their mission to hunt Harry down at events and keep him occupied, eager to do business, whatever it may be—you were the unspoken master of redirection, as much as he refused to admit it.
“Can we grab dinner on the way?”
“Burgers?” Harry asks, perking up slightly.
It was a constant go-to for you and him.
You nod through the screen, “Don’t even bother with the tie either, I’ll do it.”
–
“I can’t believe you roped me into this on my day off,” you whisper at his side, earning a half-smirk from him.
The charity auction was as lavish as you’d expected.
Crystal chandeliers, gold accents, and far too much champagne and hors d'oeuvres.
Harry’s hand found the small of your back the moment you arrived, steering you through a sea of designer gowns and tuxedos, feeling uncomfortable in the tight dress and stilettos that you only wore on rare occasions, biting at your heels.
“You’ll survive,” he grins, grabbing you both a glass of champagne and pressing it into your waiting fingers, “I’m gonna…peruse, alright?”
“Don’t say it—that just makes you sound like a creep,” your face scrunches up in disgust as you sip at the alcohol, “just go—go, I’ll…handle everything else.”
The evening passed in a blur of small talk and polite smiles, but somewhere between the endless speeches and bidding wars, you found yourself on the balcony, the cool night air a welcome relief in the stuffy ballroom.
You smell him before you see him, the thick and rich scent of his cologne so familiar you swear you could find him on that alone, turning over your shoulder to see him closing the door quietly, cigarette pack tucked in his palm as he approached with a neutral expression.
“You okay?” you ask, leaning against the railing of the balcony.
Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and then plucking a single cigarette from the box, “Honestly? I’m just tired of it.”
“The auctions? Charity?” you inquire, a small smile tugging at your face.
“All of it.” He looked at you, his gaze lingering as he lit the tobacco, “The events, the dates, searching for—I don’t even fucking know at this point,”
“The offer stands…” you say jokingly, though he knows exactly where this is heading.
“If I wanted a sugar baby I’d find one.”
Your eyes roam over his figure as he puffs at the cigarette, pulling a deep laugh from his chest before you’re pushing him away playfully.
“Let’s go,” he tells you with a deep sigh, stubbing out the end of the cigarette and tucking it away for later, tossing his arm over your shoulder as he readied to guide you through the crowd, always protective in spaces like this, another thing that was special to him.
–
The ride home is quiet, like it always is, both of you sitting in the backseat with the partition up, watching as he looked through his phone with a scowl, occasional typing and sending a message.
Eventually, he looks at you.
“Thank you,” He says with a soft tone, “I know this isn’t your favorite thing to do.”
You tilted your head into the headrest and smiled, crossing one thigh over the other as you worked at your heels to remove them, “Oh, it wasn’t that bad—the free alcohol is always a plus.”
He chuckled at that, silently helping you remove your shoes with a soft squeeze to your foot.
That was normal—but, it forces you to pause.
His natural instinct to help, to touch, to comfort you.
Your brow furrows at the gesture before you shake it away, blaming it on the buzz of alcohol in your system, watching as he continues the gesture with the other foot.
“Having you there makes it bearable, is all,” he explains, looking up at you briefly as he undid the tie around your ankle, “you…calm me, I guess.”
You swallowed. Hard.
The warmth of his words lingering in your chest, in his touch against your ankle, “You’d do the same for me.”
And he would—if you ever needed anything, anything, Harry was there.
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “without question.”
The sincerity caught you off guard.
You turned to study him, the familiar slope of his nose, the line of his jaw. There was something about the way he looked tonight—tired, maybe, but softer.
And he keeps looking at you, checking.
The car moved smoothly through the dimly lit streets, the city blurring past in streaks of gold and blues and reds. The hum of the engine was steady, the faint sound of music barely audible from the front, through the glass, the back lit up dimly by the trim of lights on the roof and door.
Harry leaned back, one hand moved against the seat, his other hand dragging slowly over his thigh—restless.
Instinctually, without thinking, you reached for his hand.
It wasn’t purposeful. Just a simple act of absentmindedness.
You’ve done it a hundred times before.
Tugged at his sleeves to fix his cufflinks, brushed lint from his lapel or pants, adjusted the collar of his shirts. Constantly fixed his hair, touching him wasn’t new.
His skin was warm. Not hot, not cold.
You felt the slight twitch of his hand, like he was debating whether to move. Instead, his fingers shifted, just a fraction, enough that the edge of his thumbnail brushed over the inside of your wrist.
The contact was thoughtless, nothing.
But, in the same moment, it felt like everything.
The way his eyes watched the movement, roamed your body like they had before but with a different implication, his eyes half-lidded and relaxed, wondering how much alcohol he had consumed himself—this wasn’t friendly.
And it definitely wasn’t professional.
Harry’s gaze was on you now, your face, as you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his hand.
Then his thumb moved.
Up.
Barely.
A soft drag along your pulse.
It was half a decade of avoidance, defeat in his heart and mind, and fear in your own.
Broken, by the car rolling to a stop outside of Harry’s apartment building.
“We’re here, Mr. Castillo,” the voice of the driver came from the front, a nod of acknowledgement as his hand slipped from yours.
“Oh, hold on,” you were scooting aside to let him out, readied for the next stop as he cocks his head toward the building, “I’ve got something for you—I’ll drive you home, don’t worry,”
“Harry,” you stress, looking down at his hand that waves you toward him, extending out for you to grab, insistently as his fingers wiggle in wait.
Turns out, he wasn’t totally lying.
That something was accompanied by a seven thousand dollar bottle of Leroz Aux Brulees—you knew that because you had purchased it during his trip to France, the supposed city of love.
“I’m going to murder you,” you tell him as he places the bottle on the counter and keeps the closed case of mystery at his side, “hide your body, flee country—I hate surprises, you know that.”
“I think you’ll like this one,” he grins, popping the cork on the bottle and pouring two hefty glasses, eyeing the deep red as it glugged into the glass.
“You know, if you wanted company you could have just asked,” you tell him, “I get it, you’re lonely,”
He knows you’re only teasing but it stings nonetheless, both of you taking a long and heavy sip as his fingers swirl over the velvet casing before he’s pushing it over quickly, tapping it with his fingers, “Open it,” he encourages, eyeing you over the rim.
You place your glass down and pry it open slowly, carefully, like you were deconstructing a bomb, but as the piece inside comes into view you find yourself at a loss for words or thoughts.
Your eyes are wide, staring up at him with parted lips that tingled from the lingering alcohol, knowing you should have cut yourself off at one glass of champagne and refused to come inside, that you should have just went home and enjoyed what little bit of the day you had left to yourself.
Now, you were looking back at a necklace so delicate you were afraid to stare at it too long, embedded with a cluster of diamonds and nearly two years of your rent if you were doing the math correctly in your mind.
Always about the numbers, Harry constantly teased.
“I saw how you looked at it the other day,” he admits, “and I owe you a hell of a lot more, but it…I’m trying to say thank you for…being you,”
“I’m not taking that,” you refuse with a laugh of disbelief, sliding back over to him gently, downing the rest of your wine in one go to forget how fast your heart was beating in your chest.
“You are,” Harry insists, “consider it a bonus—Christmas is in a couple months, too.”
“You know…this is exactly that kind of stuff a sugar da—”
Harry makes a noise, shaking his head.
You bite your lip in thought, ignoring his subtle annoyance at your comment.
It was fucking beautiful, really.
You sigh, using one finger to turn the case back toward you, examining it closely.
Quietly, Harry presses his glass into the counter and rounds the edge toward you, his chest at your shoulder as he reaches for the jewelry, working carefully at the clasp before he’s motioning for you to relax your shoulders.
It wasn’t the stillness of the moment, but his touch, again.
He’s methodical in the way he touches you, dragging his hand around your neck as he fits the necklace into place, his fingertips pressing against the column of your throat in a way that tickles slightly, shifting uncomfortably until you hear the faint click and he breathes behind you, hands resting at your shoulders.
You’re not sure why he hasn’t moved, but you find yourself turning to speak.
“I’m just going to call an uber,” you tell him, “probably shouldn’t drive since we’ve both been drinking,”
“Yeah,” he agrees, but it sounds hollow, his eyes not following you as you move.
You hop from the chair and bend down to grab your shoes, but his hand is curling around your bicep and pulling you up and he’s staring again, the charge of his touch sending a jolt through your body as freeze,
“Come here,” he beckons, too natural.
And you listen.
He’s soft, every part of him. Skin, clothes, hair, lips.
He’s kissing you gently, like you might break, but you can tell he wants more.
Needs more.
“Are you going to regret this tomorrow?” you find yourself asking as he parts from you, licking at his lips as you both take a breath, letting the moment settle.
He shakes his head, “Are you?”
“Maybe,” you answer honestly, “maybe…not—fuck, I don’t know,”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he promises, but you knew that was a lie.
Still, you nod in understanding.
–
He’s so tender with his touch, slipping you out of the dress in the dim light of his room.
Even softer as he guides you to your back and spreads himself on his belly between your legs, fingers interlocked with his at your hips as he buries his nose between your folds, his tongue splitting your cunt open in a sharp gasp that has you throwing your head back. His lips traced a slow, deliberate path down your body, igniting sparks along every inch of your skin.
He kissed along the curve of your thighs, teasing, tasting, until the tension was unbearable and with each flick of his tongue, each gentle suck, it pulled you deeper into a haze of heady desire.
This was reckless, dangerous, but neither of you found the moment to pause and think.
You wonder if things had been building to this for a while—if it was always supposed to happen this way or if he was acting off of greed; lust and companionship, even if just for a night.
You know you can ask him to stop at any point and he would, but even as his tongue brings you to your first orgasm of the night and he’s guiding you to your stomach, reaching blindly into his bedside table for a foil wrapping the crinkles loudly in the silence, you want this.
It was embarrassing how badly you wanted this.
He fucks you slow, too.
It was torturous, his chest flat against your back as he palms his cock and feeds it into you.
You don’t talk, neither does he.
But, his low moans and stuttering breaths speak for him.
If you could see him, you’d know how furrowed his brow would be, a hand sliding over the curve of your ass until he can reach your thigh, beckoning for you to raise it without speaking.
You oblige, the angle of his thrusts changing on a dime.
“I can’t believe you’re real sometimes,” he admits like he’s confessing a sin.
“Please,” you plead—please stop talking, please keep going, please fuck me.
You couldn’t decide.
You feel him nod where his forehead is pressed between your shoulder blades as his fist curls into the sheet beside your head.
“Another, gimme another,” he pleads, the fingers on his other hand curling under your neck to life your chin, not expecting to meet his eyes as he leans over you.
The expression on his face so raw it makes you flutter around him, his lips parting in a deep, guttural groan, “I know you can,” he nods hurriedly.
And damn, does the praise work.
Your whimper breaks him, breathing out shakily as you locked eyes when he comes, slow and forceful thrusts until you’re nothing but an exhausted pile of tangled limbs.
“Greedy girl,” he comments through the haze, a weak giggle bubbling from your chest.
He pulls out slowly, a low grunt as he does so.
You’re not sure when you fall asleep, but you wake to a startling amount of weight over your stomach, an arm splayed possessively, the faint outline of a ring as you drag your hand over the limb.
It’s only as your eyes pry open that reality hits you, stumbling out of bed quickly.
No…nononono, where the fuck were your clothes? Jesus.
You stumble around half awake, searching for the silk dress on the floor, feeling accomplished when you find it and hastily redressing yourself as Harry stirs in bed, encouraging you to hurry, to slip out before he can say anything.
Your shoes are already on and you’re reaching for the doorknob when the voice comes, the weight of the necklace that still remained on your neck, two empty glasses of wine on the counter, a night of hasty choices and urgency laid out like a crime scene as his voice rings out from behind you, pleading.
“Don’t—don’t go,” Harry begs, “You don’t have to go,”
So much of this was wrong—it complicated everything.
Your life, your job, your relationship with him.
He can see you slipping, fingers inching toward the knob as he approaches you in a hurry, barefoot and shirtless, the kind of scene you shouldn’t be comforted with, like this was all normal to the both of you.
You’ve seen him like this a thousand times, but not when he’s looking at you so vulnerable, heart tore open and stapled to his chest, beating against your own as his hands splayed out over your cheeks.
“I don’t regret it,” he assures you again, “so please—stay, okay?”
“What changed?” you ask, voice trembling, “Five years, Harry. Five.”
“I’ve been running in circles this entire time,” he admits, “you know it—I know it.”
You had been there the entire time, learning every part of him without judgement, cataloging his flaws and skills, learning how he ticked and what motivated him. You had never quite settled on the ideal person to fit in his life as his partner, it surely wasn’t you.
It couldn’t be you.
“Please, don’t go,” Harry echoed once more.
The sick, cruel joke of it all was that this was your job.
You had nowhere to go. If it was any other morning, you would just be arriving, leaving his breakfast in the kitchen and starting your day.
You nod solemnly, “Of course, Mr. Castillo.”
It was painstaking, forcing the mask back on.
But, you couldn’t deal with this now.
Or ever, even.
Harry looks at you with a confused sadness, thumbs rubbing at your cheekbones before his hands fall to his side.
You’d figure this out, you always did.
#harry castillo#pedro pascal#harry castillo x reader#harry castillo x you#harry castillo x y/n#randy castillo#the materialists#my writing#pedro pascal fic
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misty invasion - hidden motive
━ .ᐟ✧ PAIRING: zayne x female reader (afab)
━ ✧.˖ GENRE: smut, porn with some/little plot, porn with feelings
━ .ᐟ✧ WORD COUNT: 3.6k
━ ✧.˖ WARNINGS: mdni, explicit sexual content, slight spoilers to ‘hidden motive’ (zayne’s misty invasion card), knee humping, titty sucking, titty sucking through clothes, titty nibbling (zayne is a boobie fiend), slight predator and prey, switch!zayne (he’s dom but kinda needy and vulnerable), use of Y/N, sub!reader, unprotected sex, cumming in panties, reader on top
━ .ᐟ✧ LINKS: video | ao3 | sylus's version | raf's version | xav's version
━ ✧.˖ A/N: haiiii guyssss i decided to upload the boys’ misty invasion fics one at a time! first up is baby zayne <3 his card inspired me so much, it was so intimate and passionate.
next up will probably be sylus, hopefully will post in maybe 3ish days! I haven’t watched raf’s or xav’s but i have ideas for them. I’m excited to write, i’m praying i don’t burn out…hope you guys enjoy :) love ya’ll! also i am more active on twitter if you guys would like to follow me there, my link is in my masterpost!
THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL NEVER POST MY FICS ON OTHER TUMBLR BLOGS. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND ON AO3.
✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖ nsfw | minors dni | 18+ only | minors dni | nsfw ✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖
Spontaneity was not something Zayne preferred to indulge in.
He had enough of it in his hectic surgery schedule, so in his personal life he tried to keep things as predictable as possible.
Yet he was graced with an absolute menace of a girlfriend, who, from the second she walked into his life, created chaos in her wake. Always running off on faraway Hunter missions, telling him only after she’d already left. Coming back injured, with a frustratingly adorable and sheepish smile, trying, and failing, to convince him she was fine.
God, you drove him utterly insane.
Which is why now, the normally composed, self-assured, and controlled, chief cardiac surgeon was unraveling at the seams beneath your seemingly innocent touch.
“Why does it smell sweeter than usual?” Zayne’s voice is raspy and breathless from the torrid and heated kiss the two of you had just been locked in. The razor blade and shaving cream had long since been discarded and forgotten.
Before you can respond, he’s pulling your wrist towards his reddened face, making you fall on top of him from your seat on his lap. You’re left straddling his one knee as you fall forward. Your wrist grips the leather recliner cushion by his head to catch you as he cups your lower back, just above your rear, pressing your body deeper into his.
He nuzzles his face into your wrist that's planted beside his head, absolutely enraptured by the scent of your lotion. The scent of you.
Taking another deef lung full of your pheromones mixed with your fruity lotion, his intense hazel eyes desperately seek yours, like he’s conveying his desires with the golden green orbs. You open your mouth to question his unusual behavior, but Zayne’s one step ahead of you. His knee raises to push your backside towards him, making you lose your grip completely and collapse completely atop him.
The recliner chair swings wildly at your combined movements, and you find yourself struggling to steady yourself. In your brief moment of helplessness, Zayne hoists you towards him, burying his face into your chest. His lips find your collarbone instantly, his knee nestled between your thighs to help balance you.
You gasp at his tongue lapping languidly at your fragrant skin, your fingers grasping his shoulders as he sucks at your sensitive collar, no doubt leaving a bruise. His lips dance dangerously close to where your silk camisole hangs off the swell of your breasts.
“Are you taking a break from work?” you ask between your raspy pants. Zayne continues to indulge in your skin, moving lower until his face meets your hardened nipples, separated only by a thin layer of silk. His tongue softly brushes against the soft material of your top, stroking at the swollen peaks through the smooth fabric. His knee grinds into your thighs, craving the warmth and dampness of his most favorite place.
He has to physically pry himself away from your chest, a dusting of deep peach painting his flustered face.
“Do I look like I can work right now?” His question is simple, but the aggressive demand that hides underneath them is urgent, nearly feral. You don’t get a chance to get another word out before he’s sinking back into the warmth of your chest.
This time, his lips close over your entire nipple through the soft silk of your sleeping cami, making you cry out in surprise. Your fingers grip his hair as he absolutely devours you through your top, the silk dampening with his saliva. His teeth come down to graze your sensitive peaks and you have to push him back before you lose yourself to the pleasure.
“...You don’t have to be so intense,” you urge him, despite the clear and inarguable fact that you want more. Clear from the way the panties you’d slept in start to dampen against his bare knee that peeks out from his robe.
Zayne looks unamused, almost sulky, as he mutters, “No working, and not allowed to do anything else…” He looks up at you, mischief briefly flashing across his eyes
He sits up, wrapping his strong arm around your shoulder and bringing you to him in an intimate embrace. You flail forward at his sudden movements, the rocking of the recliner chair making it impossible to find any balance. He takes the opportunity to drive his knee deeper into your core, making you moan lewdly. His chin rests on your bare shoulder, words hot and breathy against your pulsing neck, “Well then…my love, what exactly do you allow me to do?”
His actions make it difficult for you to speak, brain focussing solely on the pleasure he’s both giving you and keeping from you. At your wordless moans of excitement, Zayne continues.
“Will you allow me to do this?” he rocks his knee deeper into you, effectively humping you against his leg. Your nails dig into his muscled back at the unexpected ecstasy, his knee rubbing against your clit in the most sinfully perfect ways.
Zayne hisses at the feeling of the sting of your nails, only making him more desperate to take you right there on his living room chair, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
With his lips at your neck, he slowly and torturously pulls the flimsy straps of your loose top down, until your breasts are pressing against his exposed chest underneath his luxurious bathrobe.
His hands descend to hold your waist firmly, gently pulling you away from his chest so his hungry mouth can find your soft breasts again.
You throw your head backwards when his warm and wet mouth captures your bare skin into its embrace. Zayne is absolutely relentless, bouncing you filthily on his thigh as he absolutely devours your breasts. His teeth and tongue work in tandem to suckle pretty little bruises into the swell of your chest, and around your pert nipples.
Zayne looks up at you from underneath his eyelashes, heated irises drinking in your quivering form atop him. His erection pushes against the feeble restraints of his tied robe, creating a tent in his lap that twitches with anticipation. It brushes against your stomach as he grinds his knee into you, giving him just enough friction to need to bite into your breast to hold back his desperate moans.
You cling to him, trusting him to take all control of your body and of your pleasure. Your nails continue to draw angry red welts into his back, as you feel the familiar coiling of ecstasy in your gut.
You tap desperately on his shoulders, not wanting to make a mess in your panties that are already sticking to your wet folds.
“Z-Zayne, wait I —”
He brings his thumb to your lips, pressing softly against your parted lips, all the while his own lips never leave your aching tits. Against them, he mumbles, “Don’t deny me. Please.”
You’re briefly snapped out of the mind numbing pleasure of your quickly approaching orgasm at the sound of his plea, bordering on a feral demand. It’s so rare to hear him so unraveled and desperate, to hear him demanding things from you. A man who never asked anything of anyone, especially not of you, the one person he treasured more than life itself. It’s so rare and raw that you can’t help but want to give him everything he wants.
You bury your face into the top of his head, his addicting scent invading your senses, and you kiss him gently, “Never, I would never deny you.”
Zayne inhales sharply, groaning at your sweet words, ”Good girl.” He pulls you down fully on top of him again, the leather chair reclining until it’s nearly flat. Your ass is arched into the air, your face pressed into his chest, as his knee pushes into you with renewed vigor.
His lips find themselves sucking urgently at your nipples again, his knee moving faster, wanting to see his beautiful girl come undone all over his thighs. His tongue lathers tortuous circles around your hardened and swollen peaks, soothing the areas in which his teeth bite down softly.
“Let me see you, love. Please. I haven’t gotten to feel you since you ran off into danger without telling me, again.”
Your heart clenched as you realized that was where all this desperation and vulnerability was coming from. You want to apologize, but his unforgiving knee against your weeping cunt made it nearly impossible to get the syllables out.
“I-I’m – nnghh – m’sorry.”
His hand roughly grabs your chin, turning you to level with his smoldering hazel eyes. His voice is gruff and inquisitive, eyebrows raised in doubt, “Are you, sweetheart?”
You whine at his words, his actions only becoming more relentless, as if forcing the responses he wants out of you, “I am!”
The corner of his lips curl up, so faint you can barely see it. An arrogance Zayne so rarely lets show.
“Then show me. Show me how sorry you are.” With each demand, his leg drives harshly into your clit. You nod vigorously, eager to please him.
His darkened green eyes cling to yours, his voice deceptively calm and soothing, “Say it, love.”
You want to respond but the way he’s punctuating his every word with a hard intentional thrust of his knee into your aching cunt makes it impossible to do anything but moan lewdly into his ear, your head hanging down with your hair falling over your eyes.
He pinches your abused nipple, guiding your eyes back to his demanding hazel ones, the golden flecks glowing brightly as they savor the sight of you.
“I-I’m – unghh – s-sorry. Should’ve told you. I’ll be good, just-just let me cum f’you!” You bury your face into his neck, embarrassed by the words coming out of your mouth but unable to stop them all the same.
“Let me see you,” he grunts. When you lift your head, bleary eyes fixing on his, he smiles. It's faint but effervescently warm.
“That’s my girl. Now tell me, hm? How is my beautiful girl going to make it up to me?”
Your eyes fill with tears, overwhelmed by the pleasure his knee brings you, and the raw feelings that are masked behind his lewd words. His facade of filthy demands that hide the suffocating emotions, the same emotions he’d felt when he saw your name on the list of hunters dispatched to the wanderer quarantine zone. Emotions that he was now taking out on your ever-so responsive body.
“Anything you want Zayne, anything,” you gasp, your eyes locked into his as he continues to hump his knee into you,
His breath catches audibly at your words, pulling your chin towards him to capture your lips in a raw and passionate kiss, one that felt like it might stop time and space as you knew it.
At his intensely possessive lips, his throaty demands, his insistent knee wedged into your cunt, it isn’t long before you come undone all over his knee. You cum with a strangled cry, your fingers digging crescents into his muscled shoulders. Your eyes squeeze shut at the feeling of the filthy dampness against the fabric of your panties. Zayne groans at the angelic sight of your face contorted into pure pleasure, his erection painfully hard against his silken robe, pressed into your quivering belly. The heavenly vision of you cumming was almost enough to have him erupting right against your stomach.
“That’s it my love, just like that,” Zayne coos as you cum over his knee, still rocking gently into you as he helps you ride out the waves of your ecstasy. His slender fingers rub soothing circles into the small of your back, cooling your burning skin.
“So good, so good for me,” he murmurs into your hair, your head resting on his shoulders as the post-orgasm tremors come and go. His lips press into your scalp, the moment feeling absolutely and idyllically perfect.
You’re so blissed out you almost don’t feel him shifting beneath you, slender fingers pulling your soaked panties to the side. It isn’t until you feel the all-too familiar feeling of his fat leaking cockhead nestled between your folds, right at the entrance to your most sensitive parts, that your bleary eyes open.
You watch him, cock in his fist, swiping up and down your drenched lips, head hung down in pleasure as he watches the way your pussy quite literally invites him in. A thin layer of sweat glistens on his furrowed forehead, his restraint hanging on by a thread as he tries to calm himself before he burrows into you like an absolute animal.
You grab him by his chin, guiding him to look up at you. You take his throbbing manhood into your own fingers, in place of his. He stares at you heatedly, your languid actions driving him to the edge of insanity. Your body quivers as his cockhead catches on your clit, your body still reeling from the orgasm you’d just experienced on his knee.
Zayne’s hand encompasses yours, your joined palms holding his aching cock at the base. He repeats his plea from earlier, his voice raspy and breathless, “Show me.”
His desperation makes you bite your lip in anticipation, and you nod before sinking down onto his thick member. Your body grapples with the stretch as you slide further and further down, as Zayne writhes below you, panting rapidly and fingers digging into your waist.
“You’re so damn perfect,” he rasps, fingers bruising your hips with the intensity in which they grab you, “Give me more, please love.”
You grin at his rare pleas, teasing him by stopping halfway, not letting him enter you fully. His desperate moans and grunts make you giggle, and you relish in the way his large hands hold you so possessively, in the way only you are able to make him lose control.
Zayne chuckles darkly at your teasing antics, “You don’t sound very apologetic, sweetheart.” He raises his eyebrow at you, in a playful warning. You open your mouth to speak, but it’s cut off with a scream when he slams you down on his thick length, his strong grip pulling you down until your ass meets his thighs.
The impact of your thighs against Zayne’s lap is sinful. Zayne groans at the way he can feel the globes of your ass shake against him, your pussy clenching to accommodate the sudden stretch. And Zayne doesn’t even let you ride him, instead using the raw strength of his arms and thighs to bob you up and down his length, in a rhythm that had you seeing white.
“Nnghh – P-Please Zayne!” you plead, but for what you’re not even sure. You certainly don’t want him to stop or slow down. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, holding on while he bounces you like you weigh absolutely nothing.
Zayne grunts in response, too lost in the feeling of how your walls cling to him, how your body responds to his touch and thrusts like he owns you.
“Always — hah — throwing yourself — fuck! — into danger. Without telling me,” he grits out, his thrusts into you harsh and passionate all at the same time. You can tell by his tone that he’s more hurt than he is angry about you running off to the frontlines of a nearby wanderer quarantine. The deep timbre of his voice conveys more worry and vulnerability than it does domination and accusation.
Your heart flutters at how adorably pouty Zayne was being, in his own way. It was rare for him to act on his emotions like this, and it reminded you of how far the two of you had come. His hands gripped you forcibly, almost as if he was afraid you’d disappear on him again. His face buried into your chest, savoring your intoxicating scent like it was the air he needed to survive. The way your warm plush skin tasted on his tongue and felt against his canines.
So you let him throw you around like a fucktoy, letting him feel how absolutely and irrevocably his, you were. You held him tightly to your chest, kissing the shell of his ear as he rutted into you like a madman, suckling on your breasts like he thought you might lactate for him. The blend of possessive domination and raw neediness was driving you insane.
Zayne tears himself away from your chest, looking up at you with heated expectation, his eyes hazy with animalistic desire, “Nothing to say, Y/N?” He punctuates his question with a harsh thrust that prods against your g-spot, all the way to your cervix.
You gasp out, almost choking for air, “M’sorry Zayne. I-I’ll make it up t’y-you.” His fingers grip you tighter as he relentlessly bounces you on his lap, his fat cock bullying into your g spot. Your teeth dig into your lip as you feel your cunt trembling, close to release.
Zayne nestles his face into the area where your neck meets your collarbone, gasping out as you get increasingly tighter, until it feels like he’s suffocating with pleasure.
“Let me cum in you,” he growls, moving back to your chest, nipping at the swell of your breasts, lapping at a reddened bruise he’d unwittingly left there. Zayne normally wasn’t keen on these juvenile displays of affection, leaving hickeys like a horny highschooler. But something about the way you constantly threw yourself into the face of danger for others, left him uncharacteristically uncontrollable and unrestrained.
“Let me leave my mark in you so you know better than to go running off into danger without me again.”
A string of whimpers escapes your mouth at his possessive yet sensitive words, clearly still miffed at the memory of your injured state after saving the pair of young siblings in the quarantine zone. Your talented, self-controlled, god-like surgeon, falling apart at the seams, for you.
It’s all enough to have you at the cusp of another mind-bending orgasm, your eyes rolling up as you try to warn him, “Z-Zayne, c-close.”
Zayne chuckles as you warn him. How adorable you were to think he needed to be told, as if he didn’t know your body like the back of his hand. That he couldn’t feel the telltale way your pussy pulsed and quivered around his cock, so tightly it threatened to break him.
“Look at me, my love. I need to see you.” He rams up into you, hands possessively on your hips, bringing you down forcefully with each upward thrust. You focus your eyes on him, eyelids hooded with an exhausted pleasure.
Through your blurry vision, you can see that Zayne is close too. His jaw ticks dangerously, teeth grit to hold the swears back. His golden emerald eyes meet yours, and he smiles, his fingers threading into the back of your head.
“Just like that, look at me when you cum,” he demands, pulling your face forward to capture your lips in a final kiss that would have you tumbling down the cliff of ecstasy. His tongue demands entry, teasing the seam of your lips. His fingers cup your face, thumb stroking your cheekbone.
You moan into his mouth as your body succumbs to yet another orgasm, your fingernails scraping into his back. Zayne groans into you as the sting of your nails against his skin intensifies the pleasure of your pussy practically wringing his cock dry, forcing the orgasm out of him.
It’s a passionate and furious gnashing of tongue and skin, his thighs, wet with your release, pounding up into you. Your combined whimpers of pleasure mix with the wet smacks of your ass against his thighs, creating the most sinful blanket of lust-filled ecstasy in Zayne’s living room.
His seed erupts inside you, hot, plenty, and demanding. Demanding to be inside you. Demanding to claim you.
Zayne’s thrusts slow, but don’t stop, plugging you completely full of him. He finally pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily as goosebumps of overstimulation litter his skin. He keeps going until you tap his shoulders in surrender. He chuckles, lifting you easily off of him, removing himself from you.
Your thighs quiver as you remain seated on Zayne’s lap, his fingers rubbing delicate circles on your waist. His lips brush gentle kisses on your collar, savoring the moment of intimacy and adoration that falls over the two of you.
Zayne shifts so that he can look at you, cupping your chin gently in his fingers.
“How are you feeling Y/N?” His deep voice is filled with concern, eyes searching yours, “Was I too…enthusiastic?”
You giggle tiredly, your voice filled with playful teasing, “Maybe a bit. But I loved it. I love you.”
Zayne chuckles, bringing your face back down to rest on his chest, his bare skin peeking through the robe that had become untied amidst all the movement. He cradles your head against his body, his arms secure and protective against you, his lips pressing kisses into the top of your head.
“Can you blame me?” He presses his lips into the space below your ear, leaving a trail of kissing down your neck and along your shoulders.
“When you’re constantly worried about the woman you love…it can leave one a bit pent up.”
His lips on your singed skin has you shivering against him, your fingers trailing up and down his chest, “And are you still…pent up?”
The corner of Zayne’s lips quirk up, the blood rushing back south as he feels you writhe against his most fleeting touches. Always so responsive to his touch.
Zayne uses one hand to guide your chin up towards him, his smile hungry and affectionate all at the same time. His other hand holds yours, and you jolt off his chest when he wraps your fingers around something wet, hot, and hard.
“You could say that.”
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