#these people and their lore really make me consider it
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Right, I forgot to post something about Reincarnation ending for real yesterday, so. uhh. what pseudo-deep thing do I have to say about all of this...
Reincarnation is allowed to end and its contents are allowed to be ""inaccessible""* and everyone involved in its production knew it was going to end like this from the start even if they likely thought it wouldn't end quite this abruptly.
Yesterday Matsukawa literally said on Twitter that one of the first things Yoko Taro told him was to keep all the design work they did in consistent structures so they could easily publish them afterwards, they knew, they're not as stupid and helpless to corporate greed as some of you seem to think they are.
*heavy air quotes here because it's not inaccessible, there are at least three seperate fan projects documenting its content and even all of the in-game data has been publicly archived by fans - how much more accessible do you want an online game to be after it ends???
I know we love to complain about live services because that's a buzzword to do with capitalism (which is indeed bad) but like. It being inherently impermanent isn't what makes it bad. Theater plays are inherently impermanent and I have yet to see someone complain that Theaters still perform plays seasonally and then change what they're playing. What if I couldn't see Faust 1 last year and this year they're only playing Faust 2??? i dont think faust is a theatre play
Video Game Archiving is weird because yes, there's basically no downside to keeping something accessible forever aside from cost - and yet to me it has kind of started to become a little bit like hoarding in the fear that you might need it eventually. Like sure, why not store a video game in perpetuity if you could, someone in the future might want to look back on it after all - but like. Do you really need to be able to play a video game to do that, to understand what it tried to do and how it executed on its premise?
If nobody actually liked NieR Reincarnation's gameplay - which a lot of you complaining about it ending seem dedicated to point out any chance you get - then why keep it around as a game and not just as recordings or in writing? And whose responsibility is it to record that stuff? For the most part History wasn't recorded by those that made that history happen either. History can be recorded in writing, in photographs, in paintings,... so why can Video Games only be recorded as that Video Game?
I think these discussions are important to have and it sucks that it's always undercut by "Well but Corporations should do it, especially since they only don't do it because of money" - which is perfectly true and I agree with that, just for the record - and yet even in a better societal structure than Capitalism these problems would remain. If money wasn't an issue should every person ever posting anything on the Internet have to make sure it will always remain there for people that haven't seen it yet just because they could? Taken to the next step, are you allowed to remove something from the Internet if anybody finds it some amount of impactful?
The answer is pretty easy. If you care that much about it you will just have to record it yourself somehow - like a lot of Reincarnation's fans already did. And yes, video games have an interactive component that is now lost - but so what. If that was so important then write down what it meant to you! Make art that expresses what Reincarnation made you feel! All perfectly valid ways to record and experience history!!!
I feel like some of you people haven't had the pleasure of not being able to afford a certain video game console anywhere in the foreseeable future but knowing there's a game on there that you would love and so you decide to experience it through everything but playing the game itself. That game for me was Drakengard 3 on the Playstation 3 - and it was my favorite game of all time before I actually was able to play it 7 years later. And I think that's why I'm not particularly bothered by Reincarnation being taken offline, because I know you can appreciate it and everything it had to offer without actually playing it - because in Reincarnation's case a lot of people did the actual work of making it accessible online and that includes both fans and the devs for structuring their game in a way that makes it easy to do so.
But all I see is this weird insistance that Lore will be lost and that people won't be able to understand NieR 4 because they can't play NieR 3 to catch up on the Lore anymore even though
a) that hasn't been a thing for a single Yoko Taro game. The only time that ever happened is YoRHa:Dark Apocalypse and even there it didn't actually happen, people just fully misunderstood what part of the story was the actual A Plot and blamed them not understanding that on the Lore.
b) Reincarnation has maybe a handful Elements of concrete Lore and each of them can be summarized in 2 Sentences at most - case in point Noelle's RoD crystal is now part of the official timeline.
3) Drakengard's lore has never been explained once, not even in Drakengard itself, and yet a lot of people were able to love it and/or everything following in its wake - so clearly the lore is not that important, is it?
I also can't help but point out that 10H's story is literally about how she has to rewrite stories from her own memory of them because they keep being maliciously changed and that when she loses access to them completely the first thing she does is to recreate them and then she ends up giving them to someone else to experience (which ends up being herself but aah, technically somebody else)
Anyways, something completely different as a reward for reading all of this bs: Do we think Accord is a Player Insert? Is the Player Accord recording what they're experiencing for the "greater sake of Humanity"? We're always watching the Player Characters from a Third Person View - Who's to say that's not actually Accord's First Person View?
Has Accord been here the whole time?
#nier reincarnation#yoko taro#what if i entered my fuck you got mine era#these people and their lore really make me consider it
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol
⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himbo—#— The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guy™️ kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#—But I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will 🤫🤐 now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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on todays episode of “things no one wanted other than me” we have transmasc amber
#okay actually he got pretty good reception in the server so. maybe not JUST me#still considering names. ambrose and alexandrite were both recommendations from people in the discord so im considering those#also considering aven (in reference to aventurine which is a greenish color)#however thats also the name of the hsr guy so. not sure#this idea was prompted by me thinking about my amber rewrite#cuz part of her whole thing is that shes stuck in this box that the public has put her in after an incident#and shes not really seen how she wants to be#and then i was like. waittttt a second. not being seen how you want. your perception of self not matching peoples perception of you#hence transmasc amber#it would make more sense if i went into detail with ambers lore and honestly it makes TOO much sense#like im considering it as an actual route to take#hmmmmmm#amber#amber lightvale#glitchtale#art#fanart#koro art
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I think you hit the nail on the head with "[previous Crow lore] didn't shy away from the fact that it sucked" whereas Veilguard glorifies its organized crime, and handwaves unsavory practices that such an organisation would have to commit to keep itself in power, and which had been shown as quite ruthless (and realistically revolting) in previous installments.
Can anyone really look at a lawless criminal organization whose main business is assassination, whose methods of ascension are murder, conniving and blackmail, and whose most unbreakable tenant is "never abandoning a (murder) contract," and accept that it can somehow maintain itself morally righteous? Can anyone say that the family currently at the top of the feeding chain of this organization has managed to outsmart the others, accumulate disgusting wealth, properties and businesses, and maintain power for several years through ethical freedom-fighting? That three entire families have managed this impressive feat? Like, for real?
I'd be pikashock if, like OP, I didn't know a thing or two about the mafia in the real world, and how badly the movie industry romanticized it.
It all comes across as pretty disingenuous in Veilguard considering what we knew about the Crows, and let's be honest -- "the crows never abandon a contract," which Lucanis repeats a lot, is a loyalty-or-death oath worse than omertà. With Zevran we're actually shown the horrors of such a vow and the consequences of choosing life over loyalty (never-ending hunt! makes me think of Roberto Saviano!). With Lucanis we're just given proud patriotism, which would make sense given his position... if only we'd been allowed to see even an ounce of the violence it must've taken for Lucanis to be the Crow growing up in the most ostentatious mansion of Treviso. If only we'd seen how growing up in such a context could make a person like Lucanis buy it. He could have been a character who unironically argued that "recruiting children into the Crows is better than letting them grow up in orphanages or brothels. at least with the Crows, if they do their job well and survive, they can ascend into guildmasters, maybe even talons." All we get is this, which fully ommits what "stay with the house long enough" would mean, or the fact these recruits may very well be children (but nah! it's just house arainai that is bad, not us!):
Lucanis: Houses recruit all the time. From armies or the trades. And we steal promising Crows from each other, too. Lucanis: Stay with a house long enough, and you'll get the family name though. Bellara: So you're like Dalish clans! But with murder. Lucanis: "Assassination", please. We get paid. Murderers are hobbyists.
Lucanis tells the companions about his contracts on Grey Wardens (merciful euthanasia), against Venatori (faceless evil) and against A BRONTO! A BRONTO?! That’s how much they want you to accept that he’s never done anything evil. He’s just a guy who loves cooking for others, puts his nation and family first, and only takes contracts with “merit” (against people deserving of death) and with properly drawn contracts; don’t worry about it. Oh, and he mentions a contract on the ruler of Nevarra, too, but that's just a little nudge to the fact that guy is 100% an undead.
The best they give us regarding unmerited Crow violence is this:
Emmrich: Do you have any say in your... targets? Lucanis: You want to know if my victims deserved it. Emmrich: Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked. Lucanis: Everyone wonders. Lucanis: I've never killed an innocent, by my count. Lucanis: I cannot say if yours would agree.
In comparison, Zevran downright tells us that he tries to avoid killing innocents, but that occasionally there is a bystander and it's been known to happen. He admits to it in a much less palatable way. Zevran also tells us about contracts against adjacent family members of the royalty the Crows had been paid to kill (an innocent person whose crime was being the sibling of a royal). He tells us about killing a mage (but we don't know that she committed any crime), and a rich merchant. We know their positions, and therefore we know that they "deserved it" due to... being in the way of other people's powergrabbing or financial success. It's far grittier than Lucanis's bronto. If the Crows painting themselves as saviors is in-world Crow propaganda (which would have been cool, since we're seeing the top dogs now instead of the foot soldiers like Zev), then we should have been given at least crumbs of the other side of the coin in Veilguard itself -- if we're depending on other installments of the franchise for that information, then that is not text in Veilguard, as OP points out. In fact, Veilguard's narrative undermines and vilifies actual government (the mayor in cahoots with the gods) to make the Crows even more heroic and "concerned with the wellbeing of Antiva and its people" because, after all, Rook is working with them so they must be honest in their intentions.
Veilguard boils everything down to "good" on one side and "evil" on the other in typical Disney fashion, and yeah, the Crows sit on the good side with little nuance and it rightfully irks anyone who'd rather see the gritty complications of organized crime rather than see it that romanticized.
Furthermore -- Yeah, Veilguard reduces Antiva to "Crow nation." In Origins, Zevran tells us of several actual products Antiva makes, and Inquisition also does a better job showing us non-Crow sides of Antiva (the merchant families! Josephine!), but in Veilguard Lucanis tells Emmrich that the Crows keep Antiva afloat fiscally..........
Lucanis: It seems like a lot of work making corpses walk around. Emmrich: The effort involved varies depending on the deceased. Lucanis: I meant that it creates work. People to watch the undead, people to build the necropolis, gardeners to tend to the grounds, tailor to make all the fancy clothes for skeletons, Jewelers! Lucanis: The Grand Necropolis - it keeps Nevarra afloat, doesn't it? Through wars and blights and disasters. Emmrich: It's been our bullwork for... Oh, you mean fiscally. Emmrich: Yes, I suppose. Lucanis: Like Antiva and the crows. You start where we leave off.
How does that make any freaking sense?
Yeah. The killing people org is what runs Antiva's economy. Mmhmm, sure.
This is an equally incoherent rant. I just had similar thoughts sitting in my drafts for so long I decided to chip in too because I couldn't agree more with OP.
Incoherent rambling about Antiva and organised crime
Hello, you read it a bunch of times in my disclaimers: I'm Italian. I love lore. Again, I'm not claiming Antiva as Italian, I am just analysing the lore through that lens because it's my culture. I fully recognise that Antiva is a mélange of Spanish and Italian culture, but I don't feel comfortable speaking on behalf of something that doesn't belong to me, so I only stick to what I know.
I've been hesitant to write this up because I find it really hard to express myself coherently. I have very ambiguous but also very visceral thoughts about the way Antivan lore shifted in Veilguard.
On the one hand, I think a refresh of the lore was needed. To me, the idea that one of the most popular fantasy renditions of my culture revolves around the concept that the entire nation is governed by organised crime is... unpleasant. There are so many more interesting things in Italian history, like trade guilds, maritime republics, etc. that like, did we really need that level of stereotypisation? I don't know, I think we could have done with something more tasteful or interesting.
As someone who people in real life have asked if my country was really governed by the mafia, seeing it in my fantasy game is just another reminder that that's how we're perceived abroad. Not a fan of it.
Despite this, I really enjoyed Eight Little Crows and The Wigmaker Job because of the focus on family politics, which is something that is very culturally relevant. At the same time, I was afraid it would lean more and more into the epic narrative of the mafia that has been promoted by American movies that couldn't be further from the reality of organised crime.
But I frankly don't even know what to make of what they did with Antivan lore in Veilguard.
As I said, I recognise that a revision of the lore was needed, and it's hinted at in previous installations. It doesn't come from nothing. Zevran has been cleaning up the Crows via murder for decades now. It must have had some effect. The new guard of Talons is also presented in a more idealistic and politic/trade oriented way in Eight Little Talons, but nothing of that or almost nothing makes it in the actual game. It's handwaved away.
And that doesn't sit right with me.
The previous rendition of Antivan lore was painfully stereotypical, but sadly, it was at least a merciless and raw mirror to look at. It didn't shy away from the fact that it sucked.
What we have in Veilguard is... much more painfully surface level. I don't really know what to make of it.
Nowhere it mentions reform, or a revolution. I think that's the direction they were going but there is no text about this, only subtext.
I can't really come to terms with how the topic was banalised and emptied out until it turned with something so shallow that is more an aesthetic than anything. Like as if we're cosplaying the mafia. And that is unacceptable.
Let me tell you in no unclear terms. The mafia sucks. It's not an aesthetic to be worn. It destroys my country from inside out and I have a stomach ache every time I see it glorified.
It exploits and kills innocents continuously and it poisons my country.
Some real life examples of what the mafia did:

Heading reads: strangled and thrown in the acid. It's about an 11 years old whose only "crime" was to be the child of someone who was in the mafia and testified against it to the authorities.
In 1992 the mafia blew up a highway to make sure they killed a magistrate who was fighting against it. Four people died and 23 were injured.

To this day the mafia is an accomplice of real world slavery and exploitation on top of the plague of drug and weapon trafficking and its businesses are not even a local issue anymore, but worldwide.
As you can imagine it really hurts in a visceral way to see something that still causes a lot of harm to real people being trivialised and made into an aesthetic.
And this is where my semi-coherent thoughts end.
I don't know where to go with this. I enjoyed parts of the crows arc and the more intimate family drama aspect. My rook is unapologetically a crow. I write Antivan lore tidbits because I find it fun.
I just wish we could have had that in a more sensitive or meaningful way. Something that was thematically satisfying.
#veilguard critical#dav critical#rant#lawless mafiosi are not freedom-fighters or indispensible merchants#but veilguard gives its players very little even in the way of subtext#to arrive at the conclusion that this can only be in-world propaganda#it 100% wants its players to believe lucanis and teia and viago#and how could you not? with how cool these characters are?
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godsona or something
#not canon whatsoever#just a fun idea#not necessarily a rabbit user#i just like the rabbits colors so thats why#it would honestly be an interesting au#characters revolting from their god who's using their existence as entertainment#my art#im just gonna use this as an opportunity to ramble#ive been thinking about removing luka#he doesnt really a have a purpose other than being marinettes future boyfriend#and he also kisses steph that one time#but lion can easily replace that role#it makes even more sense lol#i tend to forget about him#fucking insane that netiher of my otps will probably be possible because the characters dont exist what the hell xd#christ this kind of stuff would be easier to thinka bout IF I ACTUALLY KNEW WHO THE FUKCING BUTtterfly is#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#doesnt help that it keeps changing every 3 months LMAO#so it currently went from andre to bustier#nathalie is always there#i cant see the other people somehow getting the miraculous without dying or whatevs#considering the lore#caline honestly makes a lot of sense to me now#fu has been fucking me up also#i comepletely forgot lol#until i thought about the grimoire and the begining#he sort of disappears after that
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As per my earlier promise, time for a proper response (long reply under the cut):

Yeah!! I do think it was kind of weird that the tribes releasing and the archon quests didn’t correlate with eachother: Act 1 and 2 had the first three tribes, but then acts 3 and 4 came out, and *then* two more tribes (along with an interlude quest that was. i mean it was alright. it sure does exist), and *then* act 5, and two more patches later we got the final tribe. They should have kept the format of previous nations where initial act 1 + 2, region release and act 3 + 4, and then act 5. Masters of the Night Wind, Collective of Plenty, and the Flower-Feather Clan should have all released in 5.1, so act 5 could be in 5.2 where we have seen all the regions already. Ochkanatlan and Tollan could have released in the same patches as they currently do.

!!!!!! (positive)
Another benefit of the tribes all being out before act 5: the interlude quest could be about all the characters, and not just limited to the Flower-Feather Clan. Heck, there should have either been two interlude quests or, again, an extension to existing quests- something for the characters prior to the war arc, and something afterwards/for recovery, because everyone went through a lot.

Mavuika’s Flamestrider section in her character stories does explain her bike quite well, it’s just unfortunate that (afaik) you need to have Mavuika (or a wiki) to see it. The information is really interesting, and I don’t think a summary from me could quite do it justice, so here’s the wiki link

And yeah!! But also, there should have been more elaboration on past archons too. Gosoythoth mimicking the voices of past pyro archons was an extremely cool addition, except for the fact that we had no idea who those people were. We had adequate enough information about Xbalanque, but the other ones we knew nothing about. The only information we get about them is a sentence or two from the description of the Traveler’s Ancient Name (the inventory item), and Cochanina was mentioned in Mualani’s signature weapon lore but that information contrasts heavily with her information in the Ancient Name. Along with there being “countless other” Pyro Archons- even a brief cutscene of sorts would be enough to show how different the system of archonhood in Natlan is compared to every other region.
As for the point about Mavuika’s design being affected, I 100% agree with you but I’m pretty sure this is a problem for. Most genshin characters actually, where their designs typically don’t convey these small details (which is why I think Ifa having a lot of scars is a refreshing design choice, considering it makes sense that he might be injured by Saurians he takes care of. Hoyo, give Kinich scars too, please. please)

As someone who watched this whole situation go down in real time, I don’t think it was entirely Natlan having *high* expectations, just *different* expectations. Since there was so few information about Natlan prior to its release, there were only a few things mentioned about Natlan’s hot tubs, graffiti, etc and a lot of people expected Natlan to be a technologically disadvantaged fiery hellscape of sorts-so a lot of people were shocked when the vast majority of Natlan wasn’t that at all, so those high expectations weren’t there anymore when it released. (Almost the entire cast having light skin did not help one bit, but this is a subject that I do not have an opinion on)
(From my own personal experience, I think one of the reasons I like Natlan so much is that I actually had fairly low expectations going in to the region. The initial landscape didn’t look very interesting, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely enjoyed the story and the characters. Fontaine had a good series of Archon Quests, yes, but I wasn’t particularly attached to any of the characters (except Furina). Meanwhile I almost immediately became obsessed with Kinich, and the rest of the Natlan cast genuinely has entertaining characters that I enjoy seeing onscreen. If I don’t care that much about a character, no amount of good quests will get me to care about them, but if I love a character with 3 minutes of screentime then that doesn’t change the fact that I love the character)

THAT LAST LINE!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sure if I’ve ever properly made a post about this but generally, (for Genshin, *especially* for Natlan and Sumeru characters), people tend to redesign certain characters not because of their love for the character but out of the hatred for their design- and I think this sentiment could apply to all of Genshin too, and perhaps all of life even. People should do things out of love instead of out of hatred. It gets draining to see people constantly hate on things. I am not a hater and I don’t quite understand people who are. But back on topic- I think the Genshin fandom would be significantly improved if instead of constantly hating on things we dislike, we talk about the things we do like.
(And something to note is that I find that comments under official Genshin account videos, posts, etc on YouTube tend to be much more positive than those in other places. I find this fascinating, and if anyone knows a reason for this let me know)
I spent way too long writing this. Thank you so much OP for giving me the opportunity to write about my feelings about Natlan. You made a good post. Shaking your hand respectfully.
Have we been too critical with Natlan? Too harsh?

This art actually made me realise that Natlan isn’t as “modern” in terms of design as people put it. With Kinich and Wriotheseley right next to each other, you can easily say that Kinich’s bandana and earrings make him look pretty old-fashioned compared to Wriothesely. Even in the background, the Fontaine girls’ fashion has a completely different vibe while Ororon and Ifa do look like they’re from tribal settlements.
“Kinich looks like he should be in zzz.” The more I look at it, the less likely it seems. Sure, Kinich’s design doesn’t give that same ancient vibe like some other characters from other nations do, but he doesn’t feel “modern” enough to fit into zzz either. He’s stranded somewhere in between.
I’ve seen some people say that they don’t know what “Natlan” is supposed to be, as in it’s difficult to group the Natlan characters as part of one nation. Well, I believe the very “Natlan” thing about the characters (minus Mavuika and Varesa) are their accessories and the patterns on their clothes. There is a certain tribal vibe to each of the characters-
Kachina’s little forehead accessory, her top, and the arm cuffs
Mualani’s beach theme along with her bangles and the patterns on her skirt
Citlali’s clothes, her hair accessory (especially with the feathers) and her bangles and arm cuffs
Kinich’s tattoos, earrings and bandana
Chasca’s earrings and her cape with tassels
Iansan’s arm cuffs, necklace and the feathers and tassels
Ifa’s necklace and feathers
Ororon’s tattoos, scarf and cape and the patterns on them
Xilonen’s bangles and rings and her excessive hand accessories
What is Natlan? Flamboyant earrings, tattoos, feathers in the designs, tassels on their clothes, bangles and arm cuffs. Natlan character designs are not simple, they all have a bit too many tiny patterns all over them.
The main problem came with Mavuika’s design. I don’t remember Natlan hate being as overbearing as it is now before Mavuika’s bike was revealed. On top of all that, she is supposed to be from 500 years ago. And yet, she was seemingly the most modern character in Natlan.
As for Natlan’s technology, no, most of it is not more advanced than Fontaine, except Mavuika’s bike which was pretty uncanny (and Varesa’s stickers).
Chasca’s gun feels like a very primitive, very risky, attempted two-in-one version of the Antoine Roger Aircraft and a gun. Xilonen mentions that her gun is harder to tame than the wildest of qucusaurs.
Ajaw is an ancient dragon, and according to the lore, the dragons were highly advanced. Ajaw can also be referenced back in the “Little One” world quest in the Sacred Mountains. Also, during Tighnari’s quest, Abattouy’s experiments were recorded and were displayed through a projector. We also have film makers in Fontaine, and to present films, we need screens where they can be projected. So, we can say that the ‘projection’ technology is not a sudden thing unique to Ajaw.
Another problem with Natlan was the pace of the story.
Being released after Fontaine, people had high expectations for Natlan. Those high expectations only led to people being more disappointed with the archon quests. In Fontaine, every character got enough screentime or mentions for us to learn about their character. They made us grow attached to the characters and created a very emotionally immersive experience where the traveler wasn’t the main character. Almost every Fontaine character was the mc in their own rights.
Natlan, on the other hand, leaned into the typical “otherworldly hero saves the day” cliché with the traveler. The quests were also much shorter, not giving us any time to sympathise with the characters.
Giving credit where credit is due, the 5.1 war quest was phenomenal. The voice acting conveyed panic and the environment showed the destruction of war. Hoyo, overall, was heading in the right direction. And yet, Chuychu’s death didn’t hit hard enough because we barely knew her.
I don’t think most of the people would have minded it if the overall quest was 2 hours longer but elaborated more on the characters. Hoyo should have given us more time, more instances to familiarise with the cast while slowly building up for the war.
Commissions with Kachina to clear out hilichurl camps, visiting the Scions of the Canopy with Kinich where we’re shown how much busier they’ve gotten, searching for Xilonen only to realise she’s all over the place trying her best to get the weapon ready. Nature is very sensitive to changes and animals are highly perceptive to disturbances and this could have been conveyed through Ororon and his farm and Ifa and him noticing the saurians getting more restless.
The war arc should have been after all the tribes were released. This way, we could’ve gotten to know the characters better and the situation would’ve had even more of an impact. What made the desensitisation worse was the fact that the tribal chronicles, the supposed story quests, barely focused on the characters themselves, thus making us even more disconnected.
They didn’t have to give all the tribes their own, major region. They could have made the tribe areas smaller and released them as part of one region and instead given us land with destruction. This part comes under environmental story-telling. We could have gotten map expansions showing how some places have become inhabitable, like the islands in Inazuma.
We also could have gotten a really cool cutscene with all the characters during the war. Natlan has introduced new travel mechanics and a cutscene where we see the things in first person through another character’s eyes would have been really cool.
We could’ve had Mualani surfing over the water and falling in as she’s trying to get to places that need her, the camera angle switching to finally show Mualani, getting back on her surfboard. Kinich traversing through the thick woods, the leaves getting in his face. He turns to look at the destruction around him, knowing that the people laying on the ground may never wake up. Xilonen roller skating and trying to rescue people. Varesa rushing up the volcano and breaking the rocks along her way. A cutscene like this could have conveyed the sense of panic everyone felt during the war. It could have ended with Chasca, stumbling to the ground in front of the Stadium with Chuychu in her hands.
Also, you’re telling me the power of the six heroes was enough to break through the false sky, and yet Mavuika only needed the traveler to help her put an end to the 500 year long struggle? When the traveler needed to get to the hotspots, they had to wait for the hot air balloon to slowly take them there? While Mavuika, the only person with a bike, the fastest vehicle in the nation, stayed back in the Stadium?
If Mavuika didn’t have a bike, perhaps certain parts of Natlan wouldn’t feel so odd.
What could Mavuika have had instead? I was imagining her abilities to look like Bakugou’s from My Hero Academia. To put it in simplest words possible, Bakugou can create explosions from the sweat on his palm, and can use those explosions for movement and attacking. Mavuika’s abilities could have revolved around thermodynamics.
Another thing I wish they had highlighted with Mavuika was why the pyro archon is human. Perhaps they could have added points such as “the fire power burning away at the weilder’s body, and since it gets too much for them to handle, the pyro archon has to be switched regularly, and is thus human.” They could have added other clues to this in her design, such as making it seem like her skin is slightly burnt near her hair.
I will add more to this as and when I notice things. This was just me clumsily putting together my thoughts on Natlan’s design and story. And the more I think about it, the more I realise that my distaste for Natlan was more heavily formed by community opinions rather than my own. “Complain impact” really does feel apt when all the people have done is point out the shortcomings rather than appreciate the overall details.
If you got this far, thank you for being patient with me. I would love to hear your thoughts too!
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is there anyone else out there who has so much respect for people who make insane, out-there aus/ships that are so far from canon that all of the content for it is supplied by their own mind and if yes do yall see ME as one of those people
#sorry i’m so high and i just realized that when people who haven’t been following me the whole time see my tags they feel like they’ve#accidentally walked into the middle of a novel and they’re missing ALL of the context#if that makes any sense#like since i’ve made javieran as a ship i have been brainstorming and building them and their dynamic up VIA POSTS HERE and so those who#have been following me for a while have the full context and we’re on the same page. as i post more and more about them i post about them in#situations where you NEED the full prior established context to understand literally anything that’s happening#like i can’t post content that isn’t basically a continuation of everything else ive ever said. for some reason i cannot make anything that#can be perceived out of context. i think i just said the same thing 10 times. but j guess that also makes sense as to why when new people#find my account 9/10 times they will go and scroll through every post LMFQO they’re like “’i know what happens to them months in but i need#to know how it starts !!! i’m INVESTED !!!!!!!’ LMFAO wow i’m actually insane#thank you to anyone who follows me and has kept up with the lore. i don’t think anyone who actively interacts with me now has been around#since i MADE the ship in 2018/2019 but there are a few who followed me almost immediately after i came back last year (earlier this year(?))#shoutout oizy pete and moss my goats#i wouldn’t consider myself a creative person by any means but idk. like i used to be but i feel like ive lost it but maybe im just insecure#anyway. i’ll probably delete this later but i was just thinking. it’s very rare that i will be allowed to post things that are outside of my#‘brand’ because for some reason i always have to be a brand when im posting. or anywhere. but when i get really high i turn into a human#being#weird. anyway. i’m going to go play cowboy game now.#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero talks about himself for 40 hours#i think that was my ramble tag. i can never remember.
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I'm so excited for this next fic, and i want to post it right now this very second so i can force my 3 readers to read it. But I need to finish typing up the 2nd edit first -- it's not done
but man. imagine if it were done? I really feel like i outdid myself with the analogy this time. Or will have. Once it's done. It's not done.
#i just wish people were interested at any level#BUT ITS OKAY. Because this series is beautiful and it has a lot of depth and it will all weave together like a tapestry once its done#and god willing eventually someone will comment on all the references ive made or consider the multiple meanings of some of the word choice#it's not obvious yet but it will be hopefully#this next one will really help start to bring it together#and like unfortunately the first one has the least depth and layering to it because i didn't know i was going to go this crazy#but i think it's okay i think it still works#and also i keep making little edits to it anyways that's helping bring it in line a bit more#i'm just so into writing these guys i'm having fun with art please talk to me#still defective#and the update on the 13th if they put more lore into the game might destroy all that i have planned and created#but that's. just the way it is sometimes.#if this isn't the story it should be
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i DO live like this and my discord wips are a mess, i have to literally tag names onto the end of them because my writing style makes me not use names for like 300 words so i have to keep shoehorning the characters names in so that i know which snippet it was and it is Awful you would not believe the sheer state of that snippets channel
sometimes rotting is a very necessary part of the creative process!! on occasion you just have to grow moss and become nothing but bones and after a while it’s like Okay i can write now :)
fic writing is so EASY compared to all the context and lore and world building and character growth nd MAN i just wanted to write my silly guys being silly but now i have a doc open to the lore of how gods work so that my stupid guy will make a little more sense!!! what IS this!!!!!! when i write fanfiction i just sit down and recount wow lore to myself for 30 minutes while making beastly noises and then i’m normal again and can write fanfiction!! obviously fic writing is still difficult because of.. the horrors.. but at least i can blame the faults in my fic on blizzard :)
i was about to fight for the honor of my Totally Organized Discord WIPs but then i thought about it and yeah.. yeah. they’re kind of. messy… they all have individual channels and i am too scared to look thru them lest the spirit of my old work come alive to kill me or something
my ships are always so stupidly niche i can almost guarantee you my wip would be the first fic in MONTHS if not EVER for some of these anime fandoms i had one for a ship that didn’t even have a TAG i didn’t even know what to do i was so startled!! on the bright side though by virtue of simply posting a fic it could potentially spur other people to write about it which would be a net gain so… perhaps!
that is so real of you.. i don’t have any right actually i just remembered i used to try to read fanfic on my 3ds and it was terrible it wouldn’t even load the page half the time and i frequently had to mess with the internet because my 3ds hated staying connected to wi-fi
They Are In Character To Me (putting a blanket over canon characterization) in my heart this Is how they are in canon and if you try to tell me otherwise? well uhhhh uh (i explode)
staring in fascination and dread at whatever you're doing with your fic organization. i cannot stress enough how insane it sounds. compels me though
you're 100% right. i don't write i mostly Shamble and Crawl, shedding moss and fungi after myself,
be careful anon. the line between "quick lore to make things make sense" and "oops! all worldbuilding!" is very thin. then again if you go over too much you can just turn the whole thing into a ttrpg campaign for your friends or something :)
independant channels of discord wips 🤝 one gargantuan wip document in your notes app striking the fear of god into the writer's heart at the thought of digging through the damn thing
being the one (1) person to write for a ship is Better Than Drugs actually and you should definitely do it,
#asks#anonymous#making a story idea into a ttrpg campaign CAN be considered entrapment#because you trick people into caring about your ocs and suddenly you have the world's tiniest most obsessive fandom for your silly guys#'sit down and recount wow lore to myself for 30 minutes while making beastly noises' ended me btw. mood.#my current philosophy is 'forgot to mention this so things don't really make sense. it's fine because blizzard did the exact same thing'#reading fics on the 3ds...good times#i read the entirety of bend around the wind (tony stark/loki fanfiction) like this and it definitely added to the experience#the poor console was so bad at loading ffnet
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This is piracy and extremely disrespectful to the creators of the books and campaigns and Wizards of the Coast. I don't care what beef you have with them, but this shit is how small time artists and creators end up fucked.
You take from big time companies like wizards and all of a sudden people think it's okay to just take and post anything for "free". If you're broke you're broke go to a book thrift or a comic book store or save, you lacking funds doesn't give you the right to take those funds from other people. I'm not saying fuck you if you're lacking money, I've been there, it's super frustrating, but you can't steal from other people.
Piracy is a crime for a reason and putting the links here is extremely harmful to Wizards. PLEASE don't use this and if anyone who reblogged and or OP would delete that would be AWESOME.
Reblogging to spread that it IS PIRACY. Please don't use the links.
Here is a free pdf of the players handbook
Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything
Here is a free pdf to monsters manual
Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything
Here is a free pdf to dungeon master’s guide
Here is a free pdf to volo’s guide to monsters
Here is a free pdf of mordenkainen’s tomb of foes
For all your dnd purposes
#dnd#important lore#wizards of the coast#piracy#support content creators#creators#artists#writers#anti piracy#sorry if these seems dramatic#stuff like this just really urks me#because if people have beef with a company like wizards they stop considering the regular workers there and pull shit like these#you're depriving them of funds and if you deprive them of funds they can't make as much of the content you all love enough to pirate#just saying there are hidden factors#so maybe think before you act
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i'm lowkey excited for the next 3D zelda game because i want to see where they go AFTER botw. will they keep some elements of the open world? will they include aspects of environmental storytelling? what will they do? i'm excited to see it
#legend of zelda#i don't think they'll go back to something fully linear like tp or sksw honestly#i was pleasantly surprised to see some design elements from botw return in eow#things like the lynel design and the map design. i kinda wasn't expecting it#although. botw was a sort of soft reboot to zelda too#i think going back to a linear game would be a step in the wrong direction#yes oot was revolutionary for its time but that was in 1998. oot was among the first 3D games where you had free range of motion#we've come SO much further than that. and a lot of the games people consider to be the best from the last decade or so#are the ones with the full open world. like botw#(which in itself inspired a lottttt of these games)#like here's my controversial opinion but the botw lore is some of my favourite in the franchise#not entirely for what it is but for how it's conveyed#you're supposed to see things in the overworld and make connections or interpret it yourself#so like. there's this village in between akkala and eldin that's been burnt down. and there's a red wizzrobe dancing around there too#there are lines of swords in the ground in fort hateno that i think are meant to represent graves#(there are a lot of graves/implied graves in botw)#zelda has all these little drawings and notes over her study. that's all her research and it's somehow mostly untouched#anyways! i'll shut up now aksjskdjskdj#i should play it again soon but i feel unsatisfied if i'm not at least a little freaked out playing a video game now akdjskdjdn#resident evil has RUINED ME. totk depths were helping but idk. botw isn't really all that scary#(guardians don't count once you know how to kill them. neither do lynels)#(yes i will fight gold lynels for fun)
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Someone on insta: I think Evanna and [their oc] would be good friends!
Me: Sure why not?
#note tho i. dont really use evanna w like other people's ocs 😅#i wont discourage people but tbh if someones gonna say something like this to me#and keep in mind! i am actually okay w people wanting their ocs to befriend mine#gotta know that i have like. layers of lore and relationships already built for my ocs#so i will probably not engage in rp and if you want me to consider our ocs friends#i will probably like. be considering them an alternate version of my oc#if that makes sense? hopefully it does 😅#idk i just found that once i left the rp scene i just enjoyed making ocs for my own stories - i dont really use them elsewhere#anywho#amber's shit you can ignore
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AH I also had a thought to make a pinned (feels sacrilegious to me and the way that I am LMFAO) but not so much an introduction (that's what the bio is for that's all you get 😤😤😤) (which maybe I could update too actually 🤔) BUT
I'm a very disorganized person in general try as I might to have SOME semblance of organization. But I think it could be useful to list some tags that have specific things in them. Like I do wanna get more serious about comics/storytelling especially, plus I want to start collecting/compiling more Askr refs -- making a masterpost of where to find everything could be useful! Plus might help me figure out consistent tags for it too.
Much to think about......
#i'm just. you're getting all of me and you're getting none of me at the same time.#moe is the only person here who gets sideblog rights. becuase its become its own entity that's its blog now.#i might wanna update the pinned on that one too though actually.........#actually i should do a carrd for moe too. moe gets carrd rights bc it's a silly little guy. with SO much lore in it#LIKE i guess what i'm getting at is i want to make more information readily available/easily accessible#without having to have sideblogs about it bc. i am a normal man who is really normal. about everything regarding the self.#esp in proximity to other people i'm like super well-adjusted about it 👍#i never want to have a dedicated artblog. the CLOSEST exception i will consider making is when i do my longer comics#that are like. several pages of stories. like maybe a comic masterpost blog that i'd store all that on.#but that is so far off in the future like i still haven't even finished that veronica comic that was intended to be a two parter#but idk even what the second part is aside from vibes LMFAOO#ENOUGH. I AM GOING TO BLEACH MY HAIR
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Surrender to You
☆--- paring: sylus x reader
☆--- summary: You suggested a reluctant marriage of convenience due to your struggles in the N109 Zone. Now Sylus, will show you what it truly means to surrender both body and heart to him.
☆--- word count: 6.2k
☆--- warnings: mdni, oral sex, mating press, missionary, bit of background story (not really lore accurate), reader is a virgin, soft!dom sylus, size kink if you squint, sylus is in love fr, no protection is used (wrap it before you tap it)
☆--- a/n: the amount of time it took me to edit this was a bit ridiculous
The N109 Zone has danger lurking throughout it. From the darkest alleys to the stores, they all had one thing in common: The prioritization of information. That is your current motivation. You need more information and quick. Since the death of your beloved family members, you could no longer be complacent. It’s been hard being left in the dark. You thought you could trust the hunter’s association to be honest with you, but that was a lie.
You asked around a lot… from your hunting partner, Xavier, to your colleague Tara and even your boss, Jenna. No one could answer you honestly. Most of them barely “knew” what the N109 Zone was besides the fact that it was perilous. But that much was obvious.
You took to your own devices, relying on your resourcefulness. You looked online and did intensive research. All you could find out was that a significant catastrophe had transpired... Wander's took over, something to do with the state of protocores, resulting in a significant division between city areas. As a result, the sub-city known as the N109 Zone was established. You could not explain why, but you were sure it was due to the deaths of your parents, as well as your grandmother and childhood friend.
Initially, the plan was to invade the area, get information, meet some people, and decipher everything while remaining incognito. Unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. You were kidnapped by the most prominent organization in the N109 Zone, Onyichinus. Run by… Sylus? “Yeah, who the hell was that?” you thought aloud. You had never heard of this dude; I mean Onyichinus... Yes. But, even the Hunter’s Association defined the organization as faceless. It was an arduous task to uncover the head of the unit.
So that is how you ended up here, making a bargain with the devil. The other factions in the area had been restless since discovering your Protocore Syndrome. It was considered a hot commodity. Everywhere you turned, there was danger. This made your job to find the truth more difficult. As a result, you only partially appreciated Sylus's presence.
“Look, all I want is some information,” you said. Your eyes narrowed as you took in Sylus’s figure.
“Ah, is that so? And what exactly do you want to know? Everything comes with a price.” he replied. His head tilted slightly, a slight smirk forming on his lips.
You thought carefully, considering your following response. “It’s not your business; just know that intelligence on Protocore Syndrome has spread, and it’s impossible to handle business. So I’d like to make a deal.”
“And what would that be?” Sylus reacted with amusement.
You replied swiftly, not missing a beat. “We should marry,” you responded confidently.
Sylus arched an eyebrow, his eyes flashing with something, almost a mix of interest and amusement– that smug bastard, you thought. You attempted to hide your scour; you needed this more than you needed to get one over on the gray-haired man.
“And how does this deal benefit me?”
“That’s for you to decide and for us to discuss,” you acknowledged. A great silence overcame the room of Sylus's office. You stared at him, holding your resolve, waiting for a reply.
“Deal”, he replied suddenly. You disguised your surprise, sticking out your right hand to shake his. “Good then.” You said, recovering swiftly.
“I will handle the guests; you handle the small planning details. Utilize Luke, Kieran, and my card.” Your thoughts were threatened by disbelief. The ease with which he was complying with this was astounding. You wondered, honestly, what Sylus gets out of the arrangement. You told yourself it's nothing to do with you. Finding the truth is what matters; this is only one more step to complete your goal.
☆---
The venue you chose was stunning. The ceiling mirrored the most beautiful mosaics. The depictions of gods and angels were magnificent. You had never seen something so gorgeous. You reflected on the story presented in the ceiling. What would your life be like under this 'arrangement'? This was serious. It was real and binding. You were having second thoughts, wondering if the information was worth it all. But you encouraged yourself, "Of course, it’s worth it, y/n! How can you live the rest of your life without knowing the truth?” you affirmed aloud, looking around the venue. Everything felt real now. It's only been a few weeks at the Onyichinus base, but it has been productive intel-wise.
Moving on through your tour, you looked straight ahead at the expansive hall where the ceremony would occur. It was covered in intricate detail. The mosaic patterns worked down the walls, creating various shapes of circles and rectangles in its stead. In front of the walls was a white display of roses. The flowers were delicately spread throughout the venue, covering the reflected pattern on the marble floors. You moved your feet, looking to where the audience would be. Your heart plummeted when you realized you would only know Sylus, Luke, and Kieran. "It is just business, y/n," you said to yourself, adjusting your expression.
You truly outdid yourself; aside from the grandeur of the ceiling and walls, the remainder of the venue echoed the luxurious color schemes of white and black, with gold touches throughout. It was beautiful, but it was purely professional. Despite the vibrancy around you, you could not help but feel the sterility of the place. You kept your guard up, even to yourself. This is a warzone, and you have allowed Sylus to invite danger.
As you walked to the reception area, you could not help but admire the luxurious atmosphere. The black marble floors mirrored the massive tree in the center of the room. Chandeliers dangled from the strong branches, illuminating the space. You wandered around the white gold seats and tables, admiring the centerpieces. A glass foundation supported large bouquets of white roses in the center of the table. Each table had the right tableware and a black tablecloth folded into black swans. Reminding you of the rationale for your decision, you must persevere to achieve actual change.
You looked up as you approached the grand double doors at the end of the hall and noticed Sylus watching you silently. "I trust you managed the guest list," you remarked, jerking out of your thoughts. “Of course, sweetie. Only the most important people. Though I did include a few surprises—what is a wedding without some fun?" he quipped. You rolled your eyes at that. Why is he always insisting on pet names? This is not meant to be authentic.
“This is supposed to be a business arrangement, Sylus. ‘Fun’ wasn't exactly part of the plan.” You sighed harder than you wanted to, and Sylus simply responded with a slight smirk and laughter.
“Whatever you say… sweetie.” He then turned and made his way out of the wedding venue, leaving you standing there in shock. “Well–are you coming? Assuming you’re hungry, should I let you continue standing there looking lost?” You felt your face flush.
“Fine,” you said, quickly moving through the grand double doors. You slipped outside, watching as Sylus opened the car door for you.
☆---
A few days later, you found yourself in the venue's dressing room, staring yourself down. “This is fucking crazy,” you exclaimed. The realization struck once more: this is happening.
You were wearing the most stunning gown. It was covered in thousands of tiny diamonds, sewn individually into the dress. The neckline reminded you of a wide v-neck as it rested between the valley of your breasts. Pushing them out just enough–you looked amazing. The dress was perfectly fitted to your curves, and you turned to admire your backside, noticing the cutout of the dress. The fabric rested just above the crack of your ass, but you could not help but admire your good looks.
‘One thing Sylus definitely can provide is unlimited money,’ you laughed out loud. Turning back to face yourself, you admired the mermaid bottom of the dress accentuating your curvy body. You felt like a whole new person.
Your swirling thoughts were cut short by the knocking on the door. “Yes?” you replied, swiftly turning towards the sound. Luke and Kieran opened the door and made their entrance. "Wow," they said in unison. "You look so beautiful, y/n!" Luke said. "The boss will undoubtedly love this dress on you," Kieran remarked. "And off," Luke added, getting pushed in the arm by Kieran. Your cheeks warmed at the statement; you had not considered consummating the marriage.
Because once again, this is business, you convinced yourself. Even though Sylus is beautiful, his eyes, nose, and plump lips… “Anyway, this note is from the boss. We’ll see you out there, y/n,” said Kieran. You took the note from him and watched as they both walked out.
A shudder ran down your spine as you held the note in your palm. You looked up to see Mephisto, who "cawed" at you as he flew through the open door.
“He’s probably running to tell Sylus I got his note,” you commented, side-eyeing the door. The note had a red wax seal on the front of the black envelope. You opened it, and a little pop revealed the white note. You pulled it out with shaking hands.
“I promised you forever, and I don't break my promises.”
You felt your face flushing by the second. This note was so sudden, so why did it feel like he was talking about something deeper than these words reflected? You ran your hands over the words on the page, interrupting your thoughts, and you heard your song start.
“You can do this, y/n,” you said, leaving the dressing room. Now is where the real work begins.
You stood at the end of the aisle and looked around. You recognized some of the biggest names in the N109 Zone. At least Sylus kept that promise, you thought. The piano rang the most angelic symphony, bringing emotion forth in you.
You began your walk, stride confident, keeping your head high. Sylus stared at you, his smile widening as you worked your way before the steps. He reached down, grabbed your hand, helping you up the steps to the altar. The officiant began to address the crowd, but it felt like it was just you and Sylus. Why was he looking at you like that? You pondered.
“I’ve waited for this moment longer than you know,” Sylus whispered for only your ears to hear. You cocked your head slightly, you were going to ask what he meant by that, but the officiant addressed Sylus, stating the vows, “Do you take y/n to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.” Sylus’s red eyes flickered as he looked down at you. “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do you apart?”
"I do," Sylus responded, his big hands attempting to secure the large rock to your finger. Your eyes watered slightly at the sight. Why is this so intense, you wondered, as the officiant recited the vows to you. Of course, you responded with an "I do."
“You may kiss the bride.”
Your heart skipped a beat. Sylus didn't hesitate. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out to cup the side of your face, his thumb grazing your cheek. His touch was gentle but possessive, almost telling you that now you’re his.
He kissed you firmly but slowly and deliberately. Sylus doesn't rush his kiss with you, almost like he is savoring the moment. The way his lips moved against yours sent warmth coursing through you, pulling you deeper just for a moment.
For a second, you hesitated, thinking you should pull away and make distance. But then Sylus slid his hand around your neck, pulling you closer and deepening your kiss. And you went with it, kissing him back, slowly at first and then increasing the intensity.
The world around you faded. It felt like it was just the two of you. Allowing the kiss to linger on longer than it should have. When Sylus pulled away, his lips parted slightly, and you felt his warm breath against your skin. He whispered just for you to hear:
“If you wanted more, sweetie, all you had to do was ask.”
You felt your chest tighten, and you swallowed hard at his statement. You hated that he could make you feel like this. You forced yourself to look away. “Don’t get used to it,” you muttered quickly, knowing your heart raced at the kiss you shared.
Sylus smirked while looking into your eyes. “We’ll see about that.”
☆---
The reception truly went off without a hitch. Some people you’ve never met made elegant speeches, wishing for happiness and prosperity. This was so fake you fought the urge to roll your eyes at the theatrics displayed before you. You glanced at Sylus, admiring his features as the current speaker discussed alliances and protections.
When Sylus leaned into your ear, “Is my face more interesting than the speech, sweetie?”
You rolled your eyes at him and returned your attention to the speaker. “He’s so cheeky,” you thought. Despite your harsh admissions, you secretly enjoyed his playfulness. It made this whole ordeal feel lighter.
After serving food and drinks, Sylus walked you around the room. The reception hall buzzed with conversation. The guests mingled about discussing business deals disguised as casual conversation. Sylus worked the room effortlessly. His hand rested on the small of your back, sending tingles up your spine as he made contact with your bare skin.
“Ah, there you are,” Sylus said smoothly, flashing a charming smile. “I want you to meet Mr. Blackthorne. He’s one of the key players in the project we’ve been discussing.”
Mr. Blackthorne turned to face you, offering a firm handshake. His gaze lingered over you, measuring you up. You returned the handshake, nodding politely. “It’s a pleasure,” you said.
Truthfully, your mind was already wandering. The prospects of the evening had been exhausting. The smiling and pretending were weighing on you, and Sylus’s insistence on blurring the lines between you wasn't helping. Focusing was so hard your mind constantly drifted back to the kiss you shared just hours before.
Mr. Blackthorne spoke about contacts, future meetings, and something else—but you couldn't tell what. Your eyes continued to drift around the room, searching for a distraction. You tried your hardest to avoid looking at the white-haired man beside you.
After a few moments, Mr. Blackthore excused himself. “I hope you both enjoy the rest of your evening. We'll be in contact soon, " he said, nodding and walking away.
A smile became present on Sylus’s face. “Sweetie, I think you missed that entire conversation,” He teased, his voice amused. “I could see it on your face—completely checked out. What were you thinking about, hmm?”
Your face heated instantly, and you shot him a sharp look. “I was listening.”
“Really?” Sylus raised an eyebrow, leaning in slightly, his voice dropping to a hushed murmur. “It looked to me like your mind was somewhere else entirely. Let me guess… still thinking about that kiss at the altar?”
Your eyes widened at his assertion. “It was just a kiss, Sylus,” you said curtly.
He chucked at your discomfort, “Sure if you say so. But next time, you might want to pay more attention when I introduce you to someone important. We wouldn’t want them thinking you’re too distracted by your new husband to focus on business, now would we?”
Your pulse quickened the way he said, “Husband.” “I’ll try to keep that in mind,” you shot back. You felt like a firecracker inside.
Sylus grinned at you. “Good. Because I have a feeling I’m going to be keeping your attention quite a bit from now on, " he said, grabbing your hand as another guest approached the two of you. The conversation was a perfect invitation to shift your mind from his teasing.
The wedding ended quickly after that. When you looked up, you felt that the wedding had ended, and you were in the backseat of an old luxury car, staring directly at Sylus. The mood was slightly lighter than at the wedding, yet it felt heated. And he could not take his gaze away from you; he was blatantly checking you out, making the ride seem shorter.
“You planned the perfect wedding, but tonight is where the real deal begins, sweetie,” Sylus suggested. The driver maneuvered the luxury car to the massive private gateway of the Onyichinus base. The base itself was vast and Gothic. You had never really stopped to appreciate the building's grandeur before. You reminded yourself that this was only temporary.
Entering the gate revealed a primarily gray and black building spanning at least a few hundred acres. The arches rested so high in the sky that they broke through the beautiful tranquility of sunset. Large windows, elegant arches, detailed carvings, and the crow resting at the highest peak of the building. How had you not realized the beauty of this place amidst the chaos of the N109 Zone?
Distracting you from your realizations, Sylus reached for your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts and the car. This felt different now. Sylus led you into the great corridors, walking for what seemed like miles. You walked through the two doors into Sylus's bedroom.
The room was dimly lit, and soft candlelight cast shadows across it. The wedding had been a blur, but now the evening had ended. It was just the two of you.
His room smelled so fucking good. A simple vanilla musk? But it was so amazing that you wanted to bury your face in his sheets. You heard the doors click behind you, bringing you to the present. Sylus leaned his upper back against the oak doors, his giant chest moving up and down, the only sound in the room being your breathing.
“You’re safe with me, no matter what,” he said, moving off the door and towards you, standing by his bed. Your heart pounded in your chest; it felt so loud that it drowned out the silence. You knew this moment might come, but now you stood before Sylus.
“You’re nervous,” he said softly, his voice lower now, less playful than it had been all evening.
You swallowed, and your throat felt tight. You didn’t know what to say. The air had a thick, unspoken tension. This was supposed to be part of the deal—another step in this arrangement. But now you feel vulnerable in front of him.
Sylus stepped closer, his movements slow and deliberate, giving you time to feel every bit of space he closed between you two. His hand came up, gently brushing your hair out of your face. The touch was tender, and it made your breath hitch.
“You don’t have to be,” he murmured, his thumb lightly grazing your jawline, tipping your chin upwards so your eyes met his. “I’m not in a rush.”
Your chest tightened. You knew Sylus for his confidence, his teasing—proficiency at getting under your skin—but now, there was something different in his eyes. A softness you didn't know he possessed.
“I—I don’t know what to expect,” you admitted, your voice almost a whisper. You felt so exposed; your inexperience was so evident. It was increasingly hard to maintain your usual composure.
His smile was slow, warm, knowing. “You think too much, sweetie.”
He leaned down, brushing his lips against yours—not demanding, not forceful, just soft and testing. The kiss was meant to calm you and reassure you, yet you found yourself responding. He slid his hand to the back of your neck, slightly deepening the kiss.
When he pulled back, Sylus’s red eyes searched for yours. “Tell me if you want to stop,” he said, his voice quieter, more serious now.
You bit your lip, your heart still racing. You were nervous, but some of you also wanted to trust him. How he looked at you, and his touch sent sparks through your skin… you wanted him.
“I don’t want to stop,” you admitted, barely loud enough for him to hear.
He kissed you again, but this time with more intensity, his lips moving against yours with a deliberate, intoxicating rhythm. Each brush of his mouth sent a warm shiver through you, and instinctively, you rose onto the tips of your toes, your hands pressing against his chest as if to steady yourself. His heart beat strong and steady beneath your fingertips, grounding you as your pulse raced.
The kiss deepened, his tongue softly parting your lips in a request for more. You hesitated only momentarily, then parted them, inviting him in. His tongue brushed against yours, teasing and coaxing, his every movement confident and controlled. It was overwhelming and perfect, a mix of dominance and tenderness that left you breathless.
Sylus pulled back slightly, his breath warm against your swollen lips. He was grinning now, his eyes dark with desire and amusement. “Why don’t you let me help you with this?” His voice was a low murmur, and before you could respond, his hands slid to your waist, his fingers curling possessively around your hips.
With a slow, deliberate motion, he turned you, his body pressing against yours from behind. Your back pressed to his chest, and your breath hitched as you realized what he was doing. He had positioned you in front of a mirror. Your wide eyes met your reflection, and you could see Sylus’s smirk in the glass, his gaze fixed on you with a heat that made your skin tingle.
“Look at yourself,” he whispered in your ear, his lips brushing against your neck as his hands moved to the fabric of your dress. “So beautiful when you’re nervous.” His fingers began to undo the delicate fastening at the back, his movements slow, deliberate, as if he was savoring every second.
The sight of him undressing you in the mirror, the way he watched your every reaction, sent a thrill through you that you couldn’t entirely suppress. You felt vulnerable and exposed, but there was something undeniably magnetic about the way he controlled the moment, making it impossible for you to look away from the reflection of your shared desire.
Sylus leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your bare shoulder as your dress began to loosen under his touch. “Let me show you how good this can be,” he murmured, his voice a silken promise that sent heat pooling low in your stomach.
And as his hands continued their slow, teasing exploration, you realized you were already too far gone to resist. His movements caused the straps of your dress to loosen, but you held the fabric against your chest, not letting it fall.
He pressed soft kisses against your earlobe. “Let it fall,” he commanded tenderly. Your breath hitched at his command, but you complied, allowing the dress to fall forward, revealing your nipples.
“Beautiful,” he said. Reaching his large hands to cup your breasts. Sylus pulled your body back till you were flush against his broad chest. He was moving his hands to play with your nipples. He rubbed them softly, allowing them to harden between his fingers and tugging them forward firmly. He watched your reaction in the mirror as your face contorted slightly to tug your bottom lip between your teeth.
He grinned, removing his hands from your nipples to the back of your neck. He dragged his middle finger down to just above your ass, where the fabric of the dress ended. You tilted your head slightly at the movement of his hands. You missed the warmth of his hands on your nipples, but you didn't dare ask for them back as you wanted to see what he was doing next.
Suddenly, you heard the hidden zipper opening the rest of your dress. You stepped forward out of the dress just in panties, turning around to fully face Sylus. “You’re so beautiful,” Sylus murmured, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he gazed down into your eyes. He pulled you in for a soft, lingering kiss—just enough to make your heart race. You flushed under his gaze, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks but not daring to look away.
“Let me help you, Sylus,” you said, your voice barely a whisper. “I can’t be the only one left like this.” You reached up, gripping his tie and giving it a playful tug, your eyes gleaming with mischief.
His smirk deepened, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Take it off then,” he challenged, his voice low and teasing, daring you with his trademark confidence.
Your hands moved to unwork his tie, pulling him closer to you, causing him to chuckle slightly and grab your bare waist. You shuddered slightly under his touch, continuing your steady exploration. You discarded his tie to the floor and began unbuttoning his perfectly fitting shirt. It was a red button-up. You slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing Sylus’s beautifully sculpted body. You innocently peered up at his intense stare. He watched your every movement so close that the only sound in the room was your shared breaths. You drew your finger from his collarbone down to his navel, where you watched him flex slightly at your touch.
You slid his shirt off, letting the fabric fall to the floor before lowering yourself to your knees in front of him. Sylus raised an eyebrow, a smirk curving his lips as he looked down at you.
“And what exactly do you plan on doing down there?” His voice was rich with amusement and teasing but edged with something darker and more intense.
You glanced up at him, a slight pout forming on your flushed face. “Helping you undress,” you replied softly but with playful defiance.
Your hands moved to the front of his pants, your fingers steady as you unbuckled his belt. The sound of the leather sliding through the loops was the only thing breaking the tension in the room.
You looked up at Sylus, licking your lips. You pressed your hand against the bulge in his briefs. Your eyes widened a bit, realizing his size. It’s so big.
Sylus’s hand reached down, his fingers threading through your hair gently but firmly. He tugged you up to your feet with one swift motion, pulling you close until your chest pressed against his. His eyes, dark and heated, locked with yours as his other hand slid around your waist, securing you against him.
“That’s enough of you on your knees, sweetie,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous with a hint of a smile on his lips.
Without another word, he tilted your chin up, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, leaving no doubt who was in control of the moment. His touch was possessive, but there was a gentleness in how his fingers trailed over your skin, as if he was savoring every inch of the contact.
He laid you back gently on the bed. You looked up at him, patient and waiting, propping yourself up on your forearms.
The noise in your mind was silenced as all you could focus on was Sylus. He dragged his large hands languidly down your body, stopping at the waistband of your underwear. It was a lacy white piece that beautifully complimented your skin. He hooked his fingers underneath it, tugging the fabric down the length of your legs before discarding them behind him.
You held your legs together, not daring to let them fall apart. Sylus’s hands worked between your knees “Kitten, relax for me”, he said softly, looking longingly into your eyes. You allowed yourself to relax a bit as he pulled your legs apart. “That’s my girl,” he drawled.
“Fuck, you’re drenched” He knelt before you, his hands coming to rest on your thighs as he leaned in, his hot breath fanning over your cunt. His fingers traced slow circles teasing you, his eyes locked on yours.
“Do you want me to taste you, sweetie?” The question tested your resolve, and he waited for your response.
“Y-yes,” you whispered. Your hands moved up to cover your face.
Sylus’s lips curved into a smile, his eyes gleaming at your permission. He leaned in, his fingers parting your folds before pressing a single, languid, wet kiss against your core. The sensation of his kiss caused you to arch your back, “Oh god, Sylus.”
“mhm, you taste so sweet,” he murmured. His voice was thick with desire as he continued to tease you. The sound of his voice, the noises from his mouth as he made out with your cunt, made you wetter.
You felt his rough hands hold under your knees, pushing your legs further apart, splaying you open for him.
“Tell me how it feels, Kitten. Tell me how much you want me to make you cum for me.” Your back arched off the bed, your hands moving to grip his hair. You felt heat moving through you.
Sylus took his time, drawing out your pleasure. He was focused on bringing you to the edge. He spent time learning you, tasting you.
“Please… p-please, Sylus, I want to come.” This was the first time you've ever been touched like this, and you loved it. You had never felt anything like this before. Touching yourself could never compare to what Sylus was doing to you.
Sylus’s tongue flicked faster, and his fingers moved, pressing that sensitive spot inside you. His eyes opened and locked onto yours, his gaze fierce. He was testing your reaction and pressing the little spot inside you firmer.
You squirmed against his face, and your moans escaped you. You gripped his hair harder, pulling his mouth closer to you.
“Say it again, sweetie. Beg me to let you cum.”
Fuck, his mouth is filthy.
His tongue swirled around your clit, drawing your orgasm nearer.
He wanted to hear it, wanted you to surrender completely to him, to trust him. His lips closed around your clit, sucking down on your nub hard, driving you closer and closer to the edge. His fingers joined in, working your insides as he stroked your slick cunt with his mouth.
“Say it, kitten. Say you want to cum for me.”
“I want to come for you, please!” you shouted. Tears threatening to fall off your eyelashes.
Sylus’s lips curved into a satisfied smirk, his eyes glinting with triumph as he felt your body tremble beneath his touch. Your orgasm crashed over you, and pleasure flooded your senses. Your legs spasmed as you came on his tongue.
He held you down while you came, allowing you to ride out your pleasure. His tongue lingered until the very last moment, leaving you quivering and desperate for more.
You lay against the bed, your body slowly coming down from the high. You couldn't find the words for a moment, your mind still swimming from what he’d just done.
Finally, you managed a shaky breath, your voice soft but laced with disbelief. “I… didn’t know it could feel like that.” Your cheeks flushed at the admission.
Sylus hovered above you, and you could feel the heat radiating from him. His eyes lit up with satisfaction as he looked down at you, watching you try to catch your breath, your flushed cheeks, and parted lips.
He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as his hand slid up your thigh, sending another shiver through you. “I’m just getting started. Trust me, it can feel even better.” His tone was both a promise and a challenge, daring you to let him take you further.
A shaky breath left your lips, and a wave of heat ran through you from his words. A small smile fell on your lips. “I guess I’ll have to trust you, won’t I?” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you turned your head to meet his eyes. Your tone was still nervous, but your body’s response to him showed how you felt.
You leaned in, brushing your lips against his, your heartbeat thundering in your chest. “Be careful with me… just for now,” you said, smiling slightly, allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable with him.
His hand slid to your waist, fingers curling around your hip as he pulled you toward him again.
“Oh, sweetie,” he murmured, his voice a smooth, velvety purr, “you don’t just ‘have to’ trust me… you’re going to want to.”
His fingers traced slow circles on your skin, sending shivers through you. “Trust me,” he whispered, “I’m very good at making you want more.”
At that, you turned him towards the bed, pushing him down on his back. You straddled him, and you felt his clothed bulge pressing against your naked pussy, leaving a wet spot on him. You laid your hands on his chest, rubbing your hands down his hard body. Your heart was pounding through your chest. You moved your hands to push down his briefs, feeling his cock in your hands.
Sylus flexed his abs at your touch. His lips parted slightly, his breath catching in his throat. You wrapped your fingers around him; he felt heavy in your palm.
Sylus watched you through half-lidded eyes. Waiting for your next move until he switched your positions. You were now underneath him, his cock hard and ready, resting against your thigh.
He sat up and positioned himself at your entrance. His eyes trained on where you’d be connected. The head of his cock rubbed against your arousal, catching on your sensitive clit. Your breath caught as he moved to press his erection inside.
Fuck. You felt your walls stretching to accommodate his thick cock. You saw the flush forming on his cheeks through your teary eyes.
He bottomed out in you, finally looking into your eyes. “Breathe for me, kitten.” And you did. His hands came down by your head, caging you in. His hips moved backward, pushing back into you slowly.
His mouth parted slightly as he looked down at you, “You feel so good.” he grits out.
His thrusts were slow and deliberate, his eyes locked onto yours. You stayed there, not daring to look away. Your breath hitched, and your heart pounded out of your chest. You could feel him throbbing inside you, causing your walls to clench around him.
Sylus moves by repositioning your legs on his shoulders, allowing him to move deeper within you. Your tits bounced up and down at the power of his thrusts. He moved his hands to pinch your nipples. The pinch of his fingers shot heat to your core, making you squeeze around him again.
“Fuck” he purred out, his eyes closed at the feeling of you wrapping around him. He moved his hands in between your legs, settling on your clit. He rubbed it steadily, flicking it between his thumb.
Your mind was empty from Sylus fucking you. He was hitting that sensitive spot inside your pussy over and over. You felt your body tensing up again, the wave of pleasure starting to work through your body.
“Come for me one more time, kitten. Let me hear you.” Sylus whispered into your ear, pressing your legs back by your head. You felt him kiss the shell of your ear. You could feel your sensitive nipples rubbing against his chest, his thumb playing with your clit.
“Come for me, Wife.”
You gasped, body trembling as the tension in your core built until it snapped. “Sylus…!” you cried out, your voice breaking as your body twitched uncontrollably in his arms. He held you firm, grounding you as his thrusts remained slow and deliberate, each one pushing you further into bliss.
“Look at me,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. You forced your eyes open, locking onto his. His beautiful, red gaze never wavered, even now. The look in his eyes was more than lust—it was a connection, raw intimacy that seemed to transcend the physical. It made your heart skip a beat, just as much as the sensation of him inside you.
His pace faltered then, his movements growing erratic as he drove into you deeper, harder. “Fuck,” he growled, his lips parting in a low, primal sound that sent shivers through you. His body tensed, muscles tight as he pushed as far into you as he could, his release crashing through him.
With a final groan, Sylus collapsed forward, his weight settling over you as you both came down from your highs. His breath was warm against your skin, his heartbeat slowing in time with yours.
He lifted his head, eyes softening as they met yours again, a tenderness replacing the intensity from moments before. “Thank you for trusting me, y/n,” he whispered, brushing a thumb gently across your cheek.
“You’ve given me every reason to,” you said, smiling at him gently.
☆---
yall this idea was stuck in my head for a solid two weeks. i blame twitter l&ds stans for this. I SWORE i did not fuck with sylus like that up until a couple weeks ago...
#sylus#lnds sylus#lads sylus#lad sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x you#sylus qin#love and deepspace#i need him#desire that#x reader#sylus smut#lads smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut#sylus x y/n#sylus x reader smut#sylus headcanons#jupiter`~writes
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call it quits or call it destiny | h. umemiya.
✮ tags ; afab + fem!reader(she/her pronouns, referred to as a girl, gets dressed up by tsubaki and kotoha), reader gets their hair braided (no desc of texture) and puts on makeup, lore heavy reader backstory + personality, deliquent!reader, gap moe, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, themes of insecurity, mutual pining,the use of she/her for tsubaki, jealousy, confessions, loss of virginity, creampies / unprotected sex, oral (f!recieving), fingering, 18+
✮ wc ; 13.9k (dont. don't say anything)
✮ a/n ; me when i completely lose my mind because i have a weekend off. whats wrong with me.
anyways. there's no major triggers for this but be forewarned reader is meant to be very rag-tag deliquent type. she has a strong personality and generally is not feminine. she is like a mangy street cat a bit. also if u want u should listen to easily by bruno major while reading.
✮ synopsis ; you've been quietly pining for umemiya for a little over ten years with no plans of confessing.
you did not have a plan for what you would do if umemiya confessed to you first.

Once a day, everyday - Umemiya will come into your store, pause, smile, and confess his love to you before going off on his own.
And once a day, everyday, you reject this confession with a soft huff telling him to quit being stupid before shooing him away.
It's become a ritual. A fixture in your daily routine that you're not allowed to ignore despite how hard you're trying.
He's been doing it for three months, more or less.
His reason for confessing everyday? Because he’s waiting on the day you confess back, of course. Which you've refused to do for the last few months and will continue to refuse for as long as you’ve got.
It's not because you don't like him, alright?
You've known Umemiya since middle school and you've liked him for about the same time. One of the core memories of your childhood is the day you met him, crying while sitting on a swing-set, after what felt like the worst day of your life.
( On the day you run away from home, you seriously consider not going back.
You don’t really know how long you sit there. People walk by but most of them move on quickly. It’s mid-day before anyone bothers to stop and ask you something.
"I've never seen you around before.” A strange looking boy approaches, friendly and unassuming but not entirely cheerful “Did you just move here?"
You keep quiet, closing your eyes and hoping your lack of response is enough to push him away. Your hope fizzles out when you hear the swing creak as he sits besides you.
"I'm Umemiya Hajime. I live close by." His voice is airy and causal. "I'm sorry you're having a bad day.”
"Fuck off," You reply bluntly, frowning. “I don’t need sympathy. Leave me the hell alone.”
He pauses before pushing himself slightly forward to barely swing.
“I couldn’t leave you alone while you’re sad,” He voices willfully. "It might make you feel better to talk about it."
In disbelief at his response, you finally look up and asses him properly. It doesn’t do much to change your initial unfavorable impression. White hair, blue eyes and a little taller than you. You’re definitely about the same age. All of that to say, there’s something weird about him that you can’t quite place.
Despite his manner and way of speaking though, you don’t actually think he’s that weak which makes his whole aura even more unnerving to you. His attempt at being non-threatening doesn’t work for him. He’s being a real try-hard about trying to make you comfortable…
Either way, he’s got an air about him that puts you on the defensive.
Talking to someone about it had never been much of any option, and somehow it pisses you off that he’s being so brazen about it.
Maybe if you tell him about, he’ll stop prying into your business. Or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to let off steam.
You don't care anymore. You wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve.
"I don't live here and I didn’t move. I ran away." You reply.
He keeps looking at you, curious, inquisitive and sympathetic.
"Why?"
"I broke a girls nose." You scowl. The words rise up in your throat like bile. Make you feel cornered. The wounds too fresh. "It—she bullied me for years for one. And I never fought back, it was all petty bullshit anyway and I didn't like getting calls home. I didn't care about that but she—it wasn't for nothing. She was causing trouble for Sensei."
Umemiya keeps to himself, humming in response to your troubles. Your voice breaks on your next sentence, chest tightening.
"It doesn't matter what she does to me but—" Your hands ball up at your first. Your throat feels thick, eyes suddenly watering as your chest throbs . "Anyway, I couldn’t let it go like normal."
He hums. "So you hit her?"
You shake your head, sniffling. "Not at first. Just told her to shut up. Said that she didn't know what she was talking about. She hit me first..." You screw your eyes shut, sighing. "...said she was gonna spread rumors about him just trying to get under my skin and be malicious,” You lean back slightly and look up towards the gray sky. “I punched her after that."
You realize he's looking at your bloodied knuckles, but he isn't making an expression that you can read easily. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to someone like this who wasn’t Tsukimori-sensei.
"Are you crying because you got in trouble?"
“Who cares about that?” You sigh “Sensei had to put his job on the line and take responsibility for me,” Your brow furrows in frustration. “He’s the one person I don’t want to cause trouble for,” You grip the iron chains of the swing set with a closed fist and finally admit what you’ve been avoiding to say out loud. “I don’t want him to hate me…”
The kid besides you smiles absently at your words. Half-way between listening and recalling something else, it seems like. You can’t help but wonder what the hell his deal is. You barely know him but you’re spilling your guts.
He speaks after a long while. "I don't think he sees it that way. I think you should try to talk to him about it."
You make a face, rejecting the idea. "What? No way."
Umemiya shrugs, smiling - though it doesn't quite meet his eyes.
"He sounds like he cares about you. If he knew your reasons, there's no way he would hold it against you. And it’s important to share your burdens with people who care for you." You look over and see him smiling somberly at the mulch beneath his shoes before returning back to what you’ve grown to know as his usual self. "Anyways, I think we should be friends. Tell me your name."
You sniffle again. What a weird guy. Well you say that but
You still give him your name.
"What a pretty name,"
When you tell him to shut up again, your new friend Umemiya just laughs.
And you find you feel just a little bit lighter.)
That night, Umemiya walked with you to take the last train and told you to come see him again with good news.
You aren't sure what compelled you to follow his advice. Maybe because he was the first person who sat down and listened to you about it other than Sensei himself.
Tsukimori-sensei was your school counselor and the only adult in your entire life that seemed to worry about. You didn't have any friends in middle school and you were a scary looking delinquent girl without a mother and a mostly absent father.
But Sensei was always incredible gentle to you and incredibly kind. And despite what rumors that girl tried to spread - he was never anything more than an important mentor.
It was fucking embarrassing crying in front of him but because you were honest - you got to keep in touch with him. He attended your middle school and high school graduation - supporting you as you started to sort your life out. Became the closest thing you ever really got to a parental figure.
Over time, you got close with Umemiya and developed strong loyalty to him. You attended an all-girls middle and high school the next town over - totaling one other friend in all six years of your remaining education. Lack of socialization meant that Umemiya somewhat became the very center of your existence.
It was easy to visit him thanks to parental neglect. You sort of melted into his life. Tsubaki once called you his guard dog as a half-joke, but there's some truth to the sentiment. Quick to defend, quick to heel, and always happy to see him.
You, like many people, owe Umemiya a lot. His meddling over the course of ten years gave you reason to push forward. He even encouraged you to try and attend school and not give up on living a half-decent life.
You've got a never-ending list of short-comings but being with him didn't make you hate yourself. It made you want to be better because you knew Umemiya would accept you for whoever you decided to be.
So despite your delinquency, you managed to graduate high school. Post-graduation, you attended a vocational culinary school and became a patisserie before moving to Furin for permanent residency. You opened a bakery and supply bread to Kotoha-chans diner.
You made something of your life mostly 'cause of Umemiya. He's not your only friend anymore but he's still your best. Even though you never really pictured things like dating or romance - in some way it only makes sense that it'd be that meddling, kind-hearted idiot that you end up falling for it.
Lovesickness aside, you respect Umemiya more than anyone in your personal life.
He’s stuck around with someone like you this long after all. That means a lot to you.
Somehow the two of you mesh well despite being totally opposite.
You decided as soon as you realized it sometime in high school that you'd keep your feelings a secret for the rest of your life. You had a strong resolve in your beliefs about the whole thing which made it easy. You hid 'em so well even Sakura's stupid accurate romance detector didn't uncover them.
When you picture Umemiya's future - it was easy to picture the kind of woman he would end up with. Another kind-hearted idiot like him, a social butterfly. Someone a little softer.
In any case it definitely was not you. You didn't need it to be. You've received so much from him already, you never entertained the idea. Plus, Umemiya has dated other people over the years, so in your head there was never any hope to cling onto.
For all reasons listed above, a requited romance is at the very bottom of your expectations.
That's why you've been in this fucking conundrum.
To say it was a complete shock to you when Umemiya openly confessed to you many months ago would be understatement of the goddamn century.
He confessed right on the last day of Spring, totally out of the blue.
(It’s a little unusual for Umemiya to call you at this hour. If it were anyone else, you’d be a little upset since you’ve gotta be up around four-am to get prepared for the day.
It’s him though so you’re particularly tolerant, yawning as you find Umemiya on a familiar swing-set, still wearing your PJ’s.
"Why am I out here in the middle of the night with you?"
Your words lack any real malice as you sit down. Umemiya remains totally quiet. It's unusual for him to not immediately go on a tangent upon seeing you.
"Oi. Earth to Hajime." You frown at him. "Did ya get beat up before coming here and scramble your brain? Give me the popsicle before it melts."
He looks over at you and chuckles as he hands you the bag from the convenience store. You ignore his odd behavior and open up said popsicle before it melts - carefully splitting it down the middle and giving him the bigger side before going to town on your own. He takes it from you but doesn't even bring it up to his mouth.
Weird.
"Did something... happen? Like seriously happen?" You take a long lick of your iced treat. It's melon flavored, your favorite. "Seeing you frown doesn't feel right. Gives me the heebie-jeebies."
He cracks a little smile at that. It makes you feel better. He shakes his head.
"Mm, nothing happened. I just have something I want to tell you."
You nod in understanding. "'kay. Take your time."
He blinks, surprised.
"Hm? Aren't you gonna scold me for wasting your time?"
"Nah. Whatever it is must be serious if it's making you all introspective or whatever. 's fine. Bring me coffee tomorrow and I'll forgive ya."
His lip twitches up. "I l really like that about you."
You feel yourself flush and wave a hand at him. "Ahh, shut up."
He pauses for a second then shakes his head. "Mm. It's more like I like everything about you, actually."
You twist your face in confusion. "What are you on about now?"
"That's what I came here to tell you." Umemiya says after a deep breath. He says it so casually you wonder if you're mishearing him - leaning back to look up at the stars. "I really, really like you. I just felt like I had to tell you that"
You stare at him in disbelief.
"Wha—huh?"
He doesn't even flinch as he repeats it.
"I like you."
"No the hell you don't."
He furrows his brow with a light laugh. "I just told you that I do, silly."
"But that's—" You don't say the word impossible. You really want too, but you know exactly how he would react if you did. You simply shake your head. "No, you don't."
"I thought you might respond like this so don't worry but how about you?" He shrugs then looks at you intently. "I thought you might like me too."
Your eyes go wide. Oh fuck.
You feel like a deer caught in headlights. You know you should be happy about this, deep down. That'd be the normal response.
But you just feel complicated as shit instead. Fuck does he mean? Umemiya.... likes you? There's just no way that's true. Not after all of this time. And how the fuck does he know you like him back when you've been keeping it in?
You can't bring yourself to look him in the face and lie. Your heart rises to your throat as you shakily stand to your feet.
"Stop...thinking whatever you've been thinking. I'm going home." You reply in complete panic.
The minute you say it, you turn on your heel so you don't have to look at his face. You don’t even want to know.
And before Umemiya can catch you and try to talk it out, you bolt.
What the fuck was that?)
For the last few months, you've been avoiding the topic of conversation as much as you humanly can.
The possibility of Umemiya even just accepting your feelings was already far beyond your imagination, but him returning them? Confessing first? That wasn't even in your realm of possibility.
Ever since then, you've been losing your mind trying to force your life and train of thought to go back to normal. You’ve done all of the math on it.
Realistically, you can't ignore him. Your lives are so mixed together it'd be impossible unless you went under protection and changed your name which you briefly considered. You thought of turning him down but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to actually do it despite how good you are at keeping it in. Either way, your best option logistically is feigning ignorance and trying to keep the whole thing out of your mind entirely which should've been easy.
Tricking yourself into believing the whole thing was a dream? Lightwork.
Except. Except.
Umemiya just won't give up.
He confesses to you again every single day. Worse, he doesn't care whose around to hear him. No one in your friend group seems even the tiniest bit shocked by it which doesn't help the situation. You can't get used to it, can't get used to him being so fucking cheeky as he stops you midway through normal conversation to tell you he loves you.
He's persistent to a fault and while you've done well feigning immunity - you can't survive like this.
You've graduated to tell him to go away and treating the whole thing like some big joke.
But honestly?
You're avoiding having a proper conversation about it. Umemiya is especially keen in not letting you forget that. And determined to make you confess.
But you're not going to to let him sway you.
You've got principles, after all.
__
After you close up shop on Friday, you get dressed to attend a kickback with all of your friends.
It's a barbecue technically - commemorating the end of summer. Togame is really into grilling and in their weird domestic partnership, Chouji really enjoys hosting. They've done this once or twice a year ever since they started living together.
Once you've finished cleaning up the store, you take the train to Kotoha's place - mistakenly assuming you'd leave as soon as you got there. However you failed to realize that Tsubaki and Kotoha would be getting ready together.
You got jumped as soon as you walked through the door - so now you're wearing a different pair of clothes that Tsuabki got for you and waiting for them to finish getting you dressed up so you can leave.
Tsuabkino is inches from your face while Kotoha braids your hair. You feel itchy and exposed but with both of them here there's no way you're going to get out of wearing it.
"Can we just go?" You grumble, not enjoying the feeling of being poked and prodded.
"No," Tsubaki insists, frown making her expression pinch. "You have half an eyelash on. Sit still."
"He'll be happy to see you dressed up," Kotoha adds, trying to encourage you. You frown and look down.
"Whatever. I don't care about makin' him happy."
The both of them pause and stare at you until you fold under the pressure - screwing your eyes shut and making you flush.
“Such a blatant lie.”
Tsubaki giggles. “Right?”
Your face feels hot. "Ahhh, alright already. Shut up."
"Honest girls are much cuter," Tsubaki coos. You give her a half-assed glare.
"Don't you like Hajime? Why're you trying to set me up with him still?" You mumble. You always think they’d make a perfect pair.
"Of course I like him. He's my prince." She smiles at you. “But it’s a little different to how a certain someone loves him. And well, if you knew the way he looked at you…"
You frown, feeling hot all the way up to your ears as you ball your fists up and look down at your lap. "Whatever."
"You should stop trying to worm your way out of it," Kotoha adds, much less sweetly. "You know how he is. He couldn't give up on you for ten years like some idiot."
You blink. "Huh? But ten years would mean -"
Kotoha braids your hair even tighter making you wince. "I know. You're both stupid like that."
"Don't be mean, Kotoha-chan. And you, be a little more honest, okay?"
You sigh deeply.
"Ain't like anything is gonna happen either way. I already told you both I'm not accepting his confession,"
"Cause you're a huge wuss, yeah we know."
You elbow Kotoha lightly.
"Maybe nothing will," Tsubaki hums mischievously. "But it feels nice to dress up for him, right?"
You pretend the thought doesn't make your hear flutter.
Tsubaki does you the kindness of laughing lightly before moving on.
__
You arrive to the function an hour later than planned and stick mostly with Kotoha and Tsubaki until half way through the evening.
Loosening up with a few drinks, the three of you part ways to catch-up with different people. It's not rare you see them, but it's not often everyones schedules allow them to be in the same place.
Lucky for you, Umemiya does you the courtesy of not confessing during the first half of the night before food comes out.
(Though you do spit beer in his face after he calls you pretty, which he takes on the chin after cleaning up.)
After dinner, the function simmers down significantly. People quietly break off into groups and chat to each other into the late night. About that time people split whatever desserts they brought among guests.
You brought cookies and something specifically for Chouji and Togame as thanks for hosting.
Towards the end of the night, you find yourself sticking sort of close to Umemiya. Though he's having his own one-on-one conversation with Hiragi while sitting next to you , turned the other way.
You busy yourself catching up to Suo, Sakura and Nirei - all of whom you consider yourself close to.
Of them, you're the closest to Nirei which always surprises people.
The kids a total wimp but he helped you years ago study to graduate so you're a little closer to him than everyone else. He's a great guy though and you hang out alone sometimes too.
The conversations gone far left at this point in the evening.
Suo leans back against his chair and looks toward Sakura besides him with a lazy smile.
"Sakura-chan would make a great wife."
You snort listening to them bicker. Sakura grows beet red, throwing an empty beer can at Suo's head that he catches gracefully.
"Go die."
"What? You're good at domestic work and you have a cute side, Isn't that all you need?"
"Shut up. I'll kill you."
As Suo breaks out into laughs, Sugishita comes down from the kitchen just in time to catch the argument. He crinkles his nose up.
"Oh, Sugishita-kun. 'Sup."
He nods to your greeting as he leans against the wood railing of the outdoor deck.
"What the hell are you two talking about?"
'What? You mean about Sakura being a good wife?" Suo asks. Sugishita crinkles his nose.
"Don't phrase it so repugnantly but yeah I guess."
"We were talking about marriage 'cause I was complaining at work."
"What's happening at work?"
Nirei sighs as he lays it out again to Sugishita after having given the spiel to the three of you once.
"One of my superiors at work is a lot older than me and keeps bringing up marriage," Nirei explains woefully. "It's all he talks about. He thinks I'm seeing someone."
Sugishita frowns. "Eh? What gave him that impression?"
A good question you hadn't considered asking.
You raise your brow at Nirei who laughs awkwardly while he holds your gaze.
"You know that picture of us from highschool? When he came to the cafe at your school festival?"
You smile spitefully, crinkling your nose in faux distaste. "The one wear we wearing those stupid maid costumes?"
"Yup. That's the one. It's a good picture of us so I keep it on my desk and he saw it so..."
"You keep a picture of just the two of you on your desk? No wonder he got that impression.” Suo adds.
You sense Umemiya suddenly tense which you find weird. He's still talking to Hiragi though when you glance from the corner of your eye. You brush it off.
Nirei blushes, elbowing him.
"Shut up. I've got group pictures and stuff too. But he just singled out that one cause you know,"
You nod in understanding before it dawns on you. Your eyes widen. "Oh, shit? Does that old man think you're dating me?"
Nirei closes his eyes and sighs. "He won't even let me correct him."
You pause before breaking out into genuine laughter.
"Pfft, that's terrible." You reply sympathetically, taking a sip of your beer before giving a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make it work for you though, eh? Tell 'em we got hitched forreal and then I'll call you on the phone and nag you to get home for dinner so you can leave earlier."
Nirei acts like he's touched making you laugh even harder. "You'd do that for me?"
You give him another toothy grin. "I'll even help you fake some wedding photos. We'll be accomplices." You lean back with a shrug. "You gotta wear the dress though."
Sugishita laughs at that. "You being a blushing bride is a little..."
You snort, shooting him a dirty look "Shut up."
"Deal. Not a bad plan honestly." Nirei says with a sigh. "Whatever gets me out of the office early."
"Even if that means being married to me?" You joke.
He smiles at you. "Aw, what do you mean? That's the best part."
You chuckle at him good-natuedly and the conversation quickly moves on.
The alcohol is starting to make you dizzy so you eventually tune out as the four of them talk, glancing at Umemiya from the corner of your eye.
You swear you catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking.
__
For the rest of the night, Umemiya is off.
No one else can tell. You know that because the atmosphere remains light until everyone leaves around two-am. There's no blips or tension, no awkward pauses.
But you know Umemiya. He's been real weird all night and it's bugging the shit out of you.
It's a well past two now, and you've just left the late night cab you took with him. Umemiya lives close so he's walking you home.
He's usually energetic after a get-together like that so his dead silence is weirding you out. You're pretty good at figuring his feelings out but for once you feel totally clueless.
It feels as if even the cicadas and crickets have gone to sleep. There's nothing bu the streetlights overhead and soft glow of the moon, coupled with the soft click of your shoes on the pavement. Occasionally, a car will pass by.
At one point, it becomes too much. There's still a few minutes until you're home.
You stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around to look at him. Umemiya pauses, startled as he stops with you, and doesn't smile which only makes your concern worsen.
"Oi. What's up with you?"
"Hm?"
You cross your arms over your chest.
"Don't 'hm' me. You've been in a bad mood few for the last few hours. It's gonna bug me all night if I don't ask, so what's up?"
He stares at you.
"You noticed?"
"How could I not notice?"
"I was hiding it pretty well, I thought." He states more than asks, half-smile on his face.
"Yeah. But well," You shrug. "I'm always looking at you for better or for worse. So. What's wrong?"
He stares at you a long time before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. You've never seen him like this. You've seen him pissed off before, seen him mildly irritated - but never this... pouty? It's not like he's pissed.
He's quiet, taking a deep breath of cool night air before sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a good look at your face.
"Do you know that I like you?"
Your eyes widen as you blink wildly.
This is what he wants to talk about?
He pins you down with his stare, hands in his pockets and intense as ever.
"Don't even think about bolting this time, okay? I'm asking you seriously. Do you?"
Your eyes flicker down the concrete - feeling extremely uncomfortable and suddenly sweaty. You shrug, unsure of what else you could say or do.
"Hard not to know." You mumble. "You tell me everyday."
"But do you get it?"
Your frown deepens.
"Of course not. How could I possibly get something like that, stupid?"
He takes a deep breath. "But you like me, don't you?"
Panic sets in. If you could sink straight into the Earth you would.
"...Never said that."
He calls your name quietly. "Look at me, at least. Stop running away from me and just look."
You know you're being stubborn but you can't help it. You've kept it a secret for ten years and all of a sudden he wants you to tell him you like him? You've held it in for so long already and he's telling you not to run away.What other choice is there?
One wrong move move and everything will come crashing down inside of you. You can't even lie about it either.
Damn it.
"I won't look." Your voice is warbly and it makes you feel so pathetic you could die, tucking your chin petulantly "Don't wanna,"
Umemiya frowns at you.
"If you say you don't like me I'll let it go."
You remain very quiet and close your eyes tighter. He sighs softly, making your chest hurt.
After a minute, you muster up the courage to be dishonest - determined to drop it at all costs. You're slow as you pick your head up.
"I don't like you," You repeat slowly, carefully - trying not to stumble the words. "So quit it, alright?"
He laughs humorlessly and holds your gaze.
"That's the first time you've ever actually lied to me. You're terrible at it,"
"I'm not lying." You snap. Umemiya smiles somberly when he sees tears on the corners of your eyes. He steps closer to you. You freeze. When his hand reaches cups your cheek, you feel your legs lose all their strength and close your eyes. You're terrified to even look at him, not wanting him to see what you know is obvious on your face.
He wipes them as he tilts your face towards him slowly.
"Tell me, at least. If you're going to refuse me, don't I deserve to know why? Do you hate the idea of dating me that much?"
You shake your head. "Stupid. How would anyone hate that?"
"So I deserve to know why you're turning me down."
A long moment of silence draws you out of your feelings. You guess that's fair enough. Maybe this way he'll leave you alone - as long you're clear about your reasons. He’s the earnest type after all.
You manage to suck up all your tears and clear your throat enough to give him an explanation.
You step back a little from him, putting some distance between you as you stare down at the sidewalk.
"You know... I respect ya more than anyone else. You've always been someone I admire. And I uh, owe you a lot. So I only want the very best for you and all." You scratch your neck, taking a deep sigh. "For me... regardless of my feelings, I want you to be with someone who really fits, you know? Well put-together and everything. Someone that suits you better"
He pauses before frowning.
"Regardless of your feelings? Does that mean you were willingly pushing them aside?" He says distraught. "For how long?"
You shrug, trying to lighten the conversation. It’s too devastating otherwise. "About ten years, give or take."
The sheer distress in his face makes you want to keep talking, just he doesn’t look so disheartened. Like some explanation will clear things up.
"It ain't a bad thing, Hajime. You've given me a lot and I'm serious when I say I want the best for you. I love you, if that's what you wanna hear. I'm content just being besides you as your friend." You say with a shrug. "I can be kinda selfish but there's a limit to my greed,yknow."
He looks like he's in shock.
"Wanting someone to love you back isn't greedy or selfish."
You find you don't have anything to say with that, but hope he drops it for the time being.
Umemiya stares at you seriously. It makes your breath hitch meeting his eyes, blue with all the depth in the world. You feel like you can't pull yourself from his gaze.
"And there was never a possibility? Not once that I could've liked you? That I wanted to be with you?"
"It doesn't matter." You say. "And no, it never crossed my mind.."
"Stop saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters. Your feelings matter the most so don't toss them aside so easily. Do you really believe that you're not right for me?"
You aren’t sure how to answer him.
"You think you're not good enough for me." He says with some realization more than asks.
It's the first time you see his face change. When you look up, he looks well and truly angry. The whole thing is confusing.
"I'm sorry," You say. It’s such a timid thing to say but you don’t know how else to fix.
"It's not—I just don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. I don't like hearing someone I love get spoken about like that.”
You ignore the sentiment again and wait in the quiet. You always thought this would be an easier conversation to have but it hurts.
He sighs a bit, getting closer to you again. He’s less upset than before but there’s something else in his expression.
"You wanted to know why I was upset earlier right? It's because of you and Nirei-kun." He admits.
"What about him?"
"You talked about marrying him so casually. I overheard and it bothered me all night."
Your eyes go wide.
"I—it wasn't serious."
"I know that. I never thought I was that childish either but you being married to someone else as a joke." He laughs humorlessly. "I really hated it. That’s why I asked if you know how much I like you."
You feel frozen in place by his admission.
Umemiya steps towards you faster than you can muster up a counter for why he shouldn’t bother.
His arms around you feel sudden. His grip on you is so tight, like you could slip through his arms all at once if he loosens it. He smells like cologne and beer and summer but it's not unpleasant. He rests his chin on your head and lets out a deep breath.
Your chest is throbbing for different reasons now. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want."
You're stuck. Your mouth moves faster than your brain.
"Why me? And why now?"
Umemiya pulls away to stare down at you. You can't bring yourself to turn away from him.
"It was always you. I felt guilty... for wanting to you that way when you were a precious friend. Wanting to treat you delicately when you were strong and proud." He admits. Hearing him say that out loud embarrasses you to no end, “But it was those things that made me love you. Strong yet clumsy. Prideful yet honest. Awkward yet trying to be gentle. Loyal. And always considerate of everyone. Of me, when I was taking care of everyone else."
Your stomach feels like it's going to erupt. You're losing your resolve faster than you know how to mend it.
"Stop saying stuff like that."
Umemiya holds you tighter and shakes his head. "No. How else will I get you to change your mind?"
"I won't change my mind." You say stubbornly.
"I love you." He repeats.
You squirm.
"Stop it,"
"I want to be with you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to stay by your side forever. I want to do things with you and make you feel good. I want to make you smile. I want to grow old with you."
Your hearts fluttering. Fuck.
"Idiot. What are you saying? Let me go."
"It has to be you for me. I won't have anyone else no matter what you think. The person I love is you. I love you."
"Hajime." Your voice is shaking.
His drops down to a whisper.
“I can’t change how you think of yourself overnight but I can tell you that there’s no point in trying to push me away. Whether or not you accept me, we’ll never stop being side by side - so please stop fighting it.”
You put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away. “Stop it,”
"Please tell me it's okay to love you how I want too," He says, soft and doting while he crushes you in his arms. "And please love me in return."
You put your hands up to your misty eyes wanting to wipe them away as he melts through the rest of your resolve like it's nothing. It's hard not to be moved. You've been pretending for ten long years that you don't love him at all and he's declaring his love for you like it's the easiest, most sensible and sane thing in the world.
A kind-hearted, willful, meddling idiot. How you are you supposed to push him away when he's holding you this tight?
"Shit," You voice, huffing as your voice shakes. "Don’t be stupid, alright? If you’re so insistent, I wont let you back out if you meet someone else."
He laughs wetly.
"I already tried meeting other people, but it's still you. Always was."
He smiles above you. 6'2 with watery eyes with the look of pure relief like it's the best news he's ever heard in his life. It's too much for you. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if you're gonna die.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks.
Your eyes go wide as you look away, not wanting to look too eager. "That's..."
He makes another puppy-dog kinda face. "Please?"
You're embarrassed by how easy it makes you give in. "...Do whatever you want."
He laughs bright and warm as his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and kiss you with all the passion he can muster. It's intense, almost suffocating the way he slots his lips against yours and breathes you in. He doesn't let you up from it, doesn't part from you for a second even when he pulls away - noses brushing and stealing the air from your lungs.
It's your stupid first kiss and it's perfect - so perfect you wonder if you're going to wake up in a dream. He kisses you hard and makes you stand on your toes to chase his lips when he pulls back. Elated. Ecstatic when you grasp the front of his shirt and keep kissing him when he stops.
He pauses before littering your whole face with pecks even as you weakly protest, unable to stop frowning but feeling the happiest you've ever been.
There's so much longing in between you, you feel like you could die. You feel helpless.
"Can I come home with you?" He asks, once he stops - only holding your hand a short distance away. "I want more time together."
You feel your skin burn hot as you nod, all while trying not to read too much into it.
"Yeah."
__
You barely get to lock your door behind you before Umemiya crowds you in the door way.
His arms circle around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder.. Broad chest against your back, you try not to flounder as his warm voice caresses your ear.
You're going to die young if he keeps this up.
"I love you,"
You flush. "Enough already. And let me go so I can wash up."
"Do you need to sleep early? Thought you were closed tomorrow. Wanted to talk a little longer."
You pause.
"...Sleep?"
"Hm?"
You both freeze as the miscommunication dawns at the same time. You try to pull away from him as soon as you realize, skin burning hot. You're quick but Umemiya is quicker.
"Hajime." You say gravely. "If you don't let me go, I'm gonna kill you."
"No way," He laughs as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. "Is that why you let me in? Were you expecting something?"
"Shut up! Don't say anything, I swear I'll —"
"Don't be like that, baby. I'm not making fun of you. Hey, turn around. Look at me."
You're upset but you think the reason is more embarrassing then the feeling.
"Don't wanna,"
Umemiya laughs as he gently turns you around to face him. In your utter mortification, you can barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.
"Stop staring."
He doesn't.
"Do you normally invite guys in just 'cause they ask?"
"Wha—no! It's because it's you, stupid!"
He smiles in satisfaction.
"You shouldn't say yes so easily even if it is me. What if I took advantage of you?"
You think he's just being smug for the sake of it, which is pissing you off. You grab him by the front of his shirt.
"Fuck off. Maybe there's a reason I said yes."
He pauses before his eyes widen. You push your hand against his mouth before he blurt anything else out but he's quick to pry your hand away.
"Don't say it." You hiss.
"I was planning on taking my time. I cherish you and I want to make sure you know that. I'm just a little surprised you’re moving so quick when you were telling me not too long ago."
You can feel the tips of your ears growing hot, feeling even more self-conscious. "Whatever. If we're just going to sleep I still need to wash up."
He keeps his arms behind your back so you can’t move.
"Hey. Didn't say that. It's not like I don't want to do it with you. Just don't want you to regret anything."
You give him an flat look. "I was prepared to give you my virginity and you're worrying about that. Unless you're planning on backing out, there's no way I would."
"Your—" His jaw drops a little.
You drop your voice down just a little close as you grab his collar.
"If you get it, then hurry up and fuck me. Stupid Hajime."
He gives you the dopiest smile you've ever seen while your face grows increasingly hot, leaning to in to press a kiss to your lips. He brushes his nose with yours. Laughter from deep in his chest.
"Yes, ma'am."
__
Once you give Umemiya permission to have you, you get the feeling that there really is no going back from here.
You both know it. The tension in your bedroom is so thick you can barely breathe around it.
Umemiya lands gently onto your bed - sitting up as he holds you by your waist and pulls you over to him. You're so aware of his touch it makes your nerves feel they're on fire. You're not a total virgin - at least not enough to be feeling this worked up over someones hands lingering on your waist.
But they're Umemiya's hands—Hajime's hands, so you can't rationalize your thoughts of out it. His hands are strong and big, a little calloused and rough from the gardening and fighting. You can feel how much he adores you in a gesture so small it makes you concerned for your own heart thinking about how the rest of the night will go.
He invites you into his lap gently, so pleased by the way you go to him so willingly. You spread yourself over him with your knees on either side of his thighs. He's big - wide and broad.
Your barely hovering over his bulge as you lean your weight onto him. His hand barely brushes underneath your top, just barely touching the skin.
You shiver.
"Are you really sure this is what you want?" He asks. "I don't mind waiting as long as you need,"
You give him an bored look. "Not very convincing when you're makin' a face like that,"
He chuckles nervously. "That bad?"
You nod before adding a little bashfully. "Dunno if I mind, though."
He buries his fact against your chest all of a sudden making you jump.
"The hell?"
"You're so cute when you're honest like that," He mumbles into your chest, cheek pressed against your tits.
"Jeez, shut up. What're you talking about?"
Umemiya pulls back and leans forward - enough to breach the inches of space between you. Nose to nose, your eyes meet. A bated breath, you put your hand on his shoulders and work up the nerve to kiss him.
It's chaste. Mostly for you to break the ice otherwise you're sure you're gonna pussy out.
He smiles at you when you pull away.
"See what I mean? So cute," He hums, and leans in again. "Come on. Kiss me again."
Something about him is different when he tells you to kiss him. It's not smug or cheeky. But it's not casual either. Softness tinges his words, his touch - his whole demeanor screams like he loves you absolutely. It makes your heart rate pick up again, hands shaky as you try not to lose your nerve.
He's restraining himself though. How he intense he could be vs how soft and calm he is being. You know Umemiya like the back of your hand so you want him to do what he wants. It's hard to find your voice.
"You don't have to.." You cast your eyes down in embarrassment. "…hold back with me, either. I'm not some maiden."
He smiles at you a little. "You really do know me better than anyone, huh? I was keeping it together pretty well."
"Look I know I’m kinda difficult…I'm not real good with stuff like this either," You fidget with the collar of his shirt with your free hand. "But once I say yes I don’t back out. So don't worry about scaring me off or putting too much pressure on me or whatever. ...'s fine to just do what you feel like. I’m scared out of my mind but I wouldn’t do that to you,"
“Don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll do my best to make you feel secure. Might take some time but we’ve got our whole lives.” You flush at the implication. He smiles a little. "Whatever I want seems like a lot to give, though."
"Well...depending on what, I'm might not be good at it,"
He shakes his head. "I don't want anything like that."
"What do you want then?"
"You." He says easily. Your stomach flips. "All of you. I just want to make you feel so good you can't stand it. Want to worship you top to bottom. There's not a single part of you I don't want."
You flush. "The hell... I meant like a blowjob or some shit."
He laughs. "I know. And I want that too, another time." He hums, taking a deep breath. "Right now I just want you to feel so good for me. Is that okay?"
You can't look at him. You can barely stand how bashful you're being, but you can't even play coy. Something in you is bursting at the seams.
You love him so much you don't recognize yourself, or your voice, or how you're acting. It makes you sick but you can’t do anything but go with it. "Yeah. 's okay, if it's what you want."
"It is," He says, leaning in. "All I've ever wanted."
You ignore the latter half of his comment as he finally goes to kiss you again.
He pulls your body close to him as you do. Until your chest to chest, arms wrapped around the span of his shoulders as you press your lips together soft and slow.
He slides a hand underneath your top, undoing the clasp of your bra. He lets his palm stay on the center of your back while you keep kissing - straps of your bra falling down your shoulder as he splays his fingers to feel more of your skin and hold you. Hugging you close to him, his other arm wraps around your torso. His forearms feels especially strong they way they hold you by the waist.
You're so close to him. Kissing him so deep, his tongue sliding against your lips. Something about the kiss is languid but the touch is so hot it makes your skin burn. You feel wrapped up in him, can't even tell whose heartbeat you're hearing.
More of your weight ends up in his lap as you feel your knees go weak. Something hard presses against your clothed cunt and you gasp a little into his mouth.
"Oh, shit." You mumble in surprise. Umemiya laughs.
"You're making me feel good." He hums.
Your face heats up. "I barely did anything."
"You just being on my lap is more than enough."
You make a face at him before rubbing yourself over the zipper of his jeans, slow and deliberate trying to get a feel for it. You hear him moan, nearly jumping out of your skin in surprise.
The way Umemiya moans is a lot for you to process. Breathy and a little low. It resonates through your whole body like a caress.
You make a few more tentative passes over his bulge, just to hear him do it again. Driven by your instinct more than anything, you lean into kiss at his jaw - making use of the limited experience you do have to try and draw more sounds from him.
"What're you thinking about?" He asks, still breathless. Maybe amused.
"Like the way you sound." You mumble in reply.
"I thought I told you I wanted to take care of you, hm?"
You frown. "So what? I can't touch you at all?"
He thinks on it. "You can touch me everywhere else and you can have your way with me later, if you want it. I don't wanna cum too fast."
"I'm just..."
He shakes his head. "You're underestimating me. I'm still a guy, you know? With a woman I love at that. There's no way I would make it through our first time if I didn't focus on you. Don't pout,"
Hearing him describe you in such an embarrassing way makes you flush. You roll your eyes half-heartedly. "Fine, whatever."
He smiles.
"Good girl. C'mere. Lay down."
You decide not to think about how effected the praise makes you as you comply.
Umemiya lays you down carefully, making sure you're comfortable before hovering over you. He looks a lot more imposing from this view - the dim lights of your room making his face seem more well-defined. Your nipples harden in arousal, peeking from underneath your shirt as he stares long and hard.
"You're so beautiful to me."
He leans down and presses a hot kiss to your jaw, just underneath your ear before slowly kissing down your neck. Open-mouthed kisses along delicate skin, tongue sliding over every patch he scrapes lightly with his teeth. You fidget underneath him, a dull throbbing between your legs. You try to figure out what to do with your hands but you’re too nervous.
He kisses your throat where it's extra sensitive and you bite back and involuntary noise.
"Don't hold your voice, please?"
"It's embarrassing,"
"It's not," He assures, bumping his forehead to your shoulder lightly. "I want to know what makes you feel good. Let me pay attention to you."
You frown but nod ultimately.
Umemiya isn't the first sexual encounter you've had in your life. You've done other things, but you've never really gone all the way with anyone. All of your other partners were mostly strangers - people mutually interested in using someone else to try and get off.
This is the first time anyone has taken this much time with you. A little kissing and groping, sometimes touching your chest.
No one's ever touched you like this, though.
His hands feel like they're all over your body no matter where they actually end up being. Makes your heartbeat rain drumming on a tin roof. Makes your stomach tingle, a heat in your calves and a prickly feeling on your back. Your whole being drowning with pure anticipation.
"Take this off for me." Umemiya mumbles. You nod, feeling absent as you wiggle yourself out of your tight little tee and toss it somewhere.
The air shifts again when you're naked. His eyes drink you in, tracing the soft lines and edges of your body. Looking over scars and stretchmarks with pure, blown out wanting that shoots lust straight into your veins.
You want him to fuck you so bad it's killing you but the very thought makes you feel so shy you could die.
"You're beautiful," Sounds dirty the way he says, makes it spill from his lips like wine tipping over a glasses edge. "Perfect. Every inch of you is so perfect."
He proves this to you by kissing you again. Running his hands over your skin. Up against curved sides and down against your arms, brushing the back of your biceps and forearms.
Infatuation in his touch ruins you. Makes your voice let out. You can't think of anyone whose treated you so preciously in your entire life and you find you don't resent it as much as you should.
(You find it feels so good to let someone touch you so kindly. A touch like you're being loved.)
Nonetheless it's embarrassing. Of course it is.
But it's so hard not to feel pulled in when you feel the way he kisses you. Draws a trail with his lips and tongue from jaw to shoulder blade - kissing down your biceps with his hands on your body, taking gentle inhales of your scent.
Anticipation makes your stomach tie in knots but finally he relents. Both hands squeeze the soft weight of your chest, palms brushing your hardened nipples.
"Fuck."
He laughs a little, heavy with want. "Yeah? Do you like being touched here?"
"Mm." Is the best reply you can get out.
He brushes against the tips with his fingers in a feather-light gesture, testing the waters before rubbing with a little more pressure. Your body jolts from the stimulation, wetness pooling and dampening your underwear. He leans in and takes one of your nipples into his mouth making another dull wave of lust wash through you.
And he makes sure to pay attention to both. It's just like him to be so attentive to some shit like that. Your spine arches as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, letting his tongue flick across them and giving into a sweet friction. You buck your hips up against instinctively, gripping onto the sheets as your sense of restlessness grows.
Your voice is whiny to your own ears but you can't calm down to save your life.
"You're taking too long," You huff. He laughs lightly, looking up at you from underneath his lashes.
"Don't be impatient." He tsks.
"It's enough already,"
He shakes his head. "Nope. Still got a long ways to go. Promise you'll have me when you're ready for it, so just try and focus on feeling good."
You make a frustrated sound. "It's embarrassing being the only one feeling good,"
He pauses before standing up on his knees. He takes his black t-shirt off in one swift go until his torso is bare, and undoes the top button of his pants. He gives you a little glance. "Better?"
There are too many layers of that to process in the moment it happens. You mumble. "A little,"
He beams. "Good. Now let me take good care of you,"
Sliding down lower, he kisses you from sternum to navel. Hands gripping at the softness of your sides, smoothing over the bare skin as he his thumb finds the waistband of your skirt. He glances up at you, silently seeking your permission. You nod back at him, watching him slide the short skirt away from your waist.
The sudden air feels cool against your skin. He presses his cheek against your belly, both hands on your hips..
"You're gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I thought. I feel so lucky being able to touch you when you're this perfect.” He praises endlessly.
You cover your face with your arm.
"Ugh. Quit it. You're sayin' too much."
"Seeing you get so shy when I praise you a little is so cute." He trails his lips down further and further - just above your sex before stopping. "You're so cute."
He sits back, standing up and bending your legs slightly at the knee. You hold the position as you feel him massage your calve. Thumb drawing hard circles in the muscle, slowly working his way up to your knee. He kisses you afterwards trailing the same spot his hands were touching seconds ago before moving onto the other side.
There's nothing you can call it short of worship. The nagging feeling that it's undeserved is washed away each time Umemiya holds your gaze.
Devotion colors every touch no matter how small. And it’s so obvious, so prominent - it feels outright wrong to deny the fact it’s there.
You think the closest thing you can compare it too is the way Umemiya gardens. A patience as his fingers root through earth and soil, a kindness towards delicate things that makes even hours of work under the sun look beautiful and easy. His expression is what's most uncanny - what makes you you feel so hot.
An expression that says he loves doing it from the very bottom of his heart - not even a hint of apathy or complaint.
A face that says he loves every long, drawn out motion and actions of repetition all fro the very core of him.
Having it directed at making love to you so blatantly makes you more aroused than you know what to do with. You don't know how to let yourself be treated like the most cherished flower in Umemiya's garden - and you aren't so sure how you're meant to get used to it no matter how much it makes you feel...nice. You don’t have any other experience.
Which is why you're trying to be patient. Trying to be at least temporarily secure in whatever he sees in you that makes him worship every inch of you, memorizing all your ins and outs.
Umemiya places hot, wet kisses on your inner thigh before laying himself between your spread legs - breath barely hovering over your sex.
By the time he gets there, you feel utterly melted into your sheets. Your mind is hazy, impatient and wanting as strong hands secure your thighs. He's so close.
"I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"
"If you don't do something soon I'm gonna kill you."
He laughs warmly. "I'll take that as a yes."
You pause. Umemiya waits.
"I didn't uh," You clear your throat. "Wasn't planning on getting laid so y'know. Haven't shaved in a while."
"Were you worried that I'd change my mind? I like it for the record. Feels natural." Umemiya says. "It's your body so there's nothing I would dislike about it."
"You're too much." You reply back in earnest. You cover your face with your arms. "So cheesy."
"I'm being serious." He says suddenly solemn with how sincere he is.
The sudden change is amusing. You pause before breaking into genuine giggles, unable to help yourself.
"You're really somethin', yknow that?"
He's quiet for a long time. Long enough for it to catch your attention, turning your gaze more clearly towards his face. Swiftly, he pushes himself up to catch your mouth in another kiss. It stuns you a bit, very different to all the rest. More teeth and tongue than lip.
"I like you," He murmurs, forehead to yours. "How can someone be so cute?"
"Would you quit embarrassing me and get on with it?"
He smiles. "As you wish,"
Umemiya settles back down between your legs after easing your panties off and putting your feet flat on the bed to give himself more access. You can barely look down at him doing it. His fingers brush the slick hairs back gentle as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy apart and look at you more intimately.
You can feel him. Feel his every breath and movement. He stares at you awestruck. "How is all of you so pretty? Even here it's such a beautiful color."
"Stop looking so much,"
He takes a breath, taking in your scent one more time before pressing a kiss to your clit. You make an attempt to squirm away from his grip as his finger dig into your thighs and hold you down. The strength of it knocks the wind out of you, forcing you into place. Umemiya pushes his tongue and gives you a long, tentative lick through the seam of your cunt.
Your whole body breaks out into shivers at the sensation. The warm weight of his tongue on your sex makes feels like an electric current through water - your toes curling as he makes the same few passes over and over. He collects your pooling arousal on the tip as he drags upwards and flicks your clit tentatively. You grind against his face instinctually, hips chasing the pleasure. Amused laughter vibrates against your core as you do, mumbling at you to be patient while he's still face deep in it.
You let out another pitchy whine before he finally stops teasing. He lays his tongue flat against your clit, cupping it lightly before drawing it around experimentally. He watches carefully as he plays around with pressure and angles - trying to see what makes you react the most. You can feel how closely he's watching you.
You cover your mouth with your hand when he does find it, your voice breaking off as he licks carefully right where you need. He smiles into your cunt as he toys with your with the sensitive bundle of nerves, pleased by the change in your reactions. The obvious pleasure he's making you feel.
Something blooms into your chest. You've never—
"You're—" You close your eyes, hands tangling in the sheets as you break out into a fever. "Ngh, never had someone l-lick me,"
He must've heard you because he seems to laser in his focus the minute you say it. He's lapping at your clit so deep, licking precisely and holding you with nose against your bush.
You reach down tentatively, pushing back the hair falling in his face and he gives you a look so lovesick you want to run away. The pressure changes gradually, more intensely.
It feels better somehow. Makes you feel restless. Your whole body curls in tight with want at the sensation of it, the lower expanse of your belly tensed. You're shaking as you drift closer to the edge, arousal upped by the wet sound of him sucking your clit.
"Hajime," You warn, spine starting to arch as you helplessly try to pull away from the intense sensation. It's not familiar to your body, so much so your mind can barely make sense of what's happening to it, "Cumming—c-cumming!"
Something in you goes undone as Umemiya keeps pace during your orgasm. All the tension inside of you suddenly comes loose - specks of white matter behind closed lids as you screw your eyes shut. Your back curves up into arch, your hips trembling, your insides pulsing. It comes running into you, crashing into your body as waves of pleasure drown out the noise in your head. He eats you out until you feel borderline hysterical.
You feel melted and reshaped by him - yanking him off when he continues to be insistent after you're too oversensitive. He laughs when you pull him away, resting against your thigh as you take worn out heaving breaths.
He kisses the inside of your knee as you calm down, bright smile on his features - painted pink with a slight flush. "You came. I'm so happy."
You look at him in shock. "You're a scary guy."
He pushes up to kiss your temple, voice soft. "Did I scare you?"
Your stomach flutters, tucking your chin. "You were intense, but I didn't... hate it or anything."
"Yeah?" He grins, pressing a few kisses to your cheek and face before whispering against your ear. "Then, is it okay to go farther?"
You nod silently. Umemiya smiles.
He stands up on his knees, pushing his hair back as your eyes are drawn to his pants. You reach out for the waistband of his pants unthinkingly, hooking your finger into it. "Isn't it stuffy?"
He blinks, frozen before rubbing a hand across his face. "Ah a bit, but it's fine."
"Take 'em off. Please?"
Umemiya looks unusually distressed by the request, but follows through without another word. You watch him undress - revealing the tight black fabric of his boxer briefs snug against his waist. Your eyes go wide as you see the outline of his cock - head still half hazy. You voice your unfiltered reaction.
"Your dick is so big,"
He laughs breathlessly. "Are you trying to stir me up? What's with you?" He pauses to lay down besides you. You turn to lay on your side and face him a little better. "You're being cute. I'm not used to seeing you so docile."
"Shaddup," You reply half-heartedly. Your body is still on fire but it knocked the wind of you to cum once already. "Your fault."
He grins, a hint of smugness as he laughs. "That's true."
"You gonna fuck me?"
"Mm, yeah. Gotta open you up first or it'll hurt."
"I've put stuff in before. Toys. Should be fine."
"Still wanna play it safe. It's your precious first time after all."
You make a face before pulling him into you, hugging him tight as your whole body breaks out in a shameful flush. "Then hurry up and do it already."
His arms slide underneath where your laying, holding you to him as he hikes one of your legs up. He slides his free hand in over your leg - his forearm holding your thigh. You press your face to his neck and shoulder - hiding your expression. "Guess I should huh? You were always impatient,"
You can barely tell him to shut up, the way your body waits for it. A warbled little noise leaves your mouth as he slides his middle finger through the sticky folds of your cunt - careful as it catches on your hole. Wet and so aroused, the first finger he puts in goes in completely smoothly with no real effort
Umemiya speaks low and soft as he holds you. "I don't know if I can get used to seeing you like this. I'm glad no one else but me ever wil You’re really all I think about lately," He catches the lobe of your ear between his teeth gently. Your head spins. "People misunderstand you because you're prickly, you know? For a long time, only I knew what it felt like to be liked by you. I liked that,"
"Why are you—mmgh,"
He slides another finger in carefully after the first one slides inside of you with no resistance. His voice is so hot against your skin, the low bass of it in your skull as he speaks so close to your ear.
"Don't get me wrong I'm happy seeing you with so many people surrounding you. But I was a little sad too. And it kept getting worse over the years until I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t figure out why for a long time and then it clicked,” Umemiya explains. You realize half way delirious this is his real confession. God, you’re gonna kill him. “Suddenly it was all I thought about. I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to monopolize you. It was my first time having thoughts like that,”
Another finger slides into you easily. Umemiyas fingers are so much bigger than yours. Thicker than they are long. The stretch is enough to make you gasp.
“Hajime—“
He curls them up, careful until he finds the spot he’s looking for. Your body reacts, another sensation of pressure as his middle finger rubs tenderly against your gspot. You weakly try to wiggle away as he holds you firm.
“I felt a little guilty, too. You’re my very best friend. You’re independent and diligent. Tough. But you know, when I saw you for those few months - all I could think about was how much I wanted to spoil you,” He whispers. Something in your body shifts the way touches you. Pushes in further and further - stretching until it’s easy for him to be inside. “Somehow everything I liked about you became so cute I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t help but want to dote on you over every little thing even though I knew better than anyone you didn’t need something like that.”
Your eyes well up but not necessarily from emotion. Totally overwhelmed. You don’t feel like you’re gonna cum but there’s something else that’s waiting and each time he thrusts his fingers into you it comes a little closer. Your voice is shaking.
“It—fuck, quit talking. Somethings gonna—“
His smile grows a little. It’s the first time it looks so hungry.
“I was happy in general when I realized you liked me too. Even when you were being stubborn, I liked the way you couldn’t turn me away. I liked how happy you looked talking to me as usual as if that alone was something so precious,” He hums, so focused and precise as he stretches you open on a third finger but never once losing his train of thought. Like saying all of these comes to him so easily it doesn’t matter. “I didn’t want to corner you. But it felt like I couldn’t rest until you were mine completely. Which is why I’m being so unfair to you. Why I’m so persistent. ”
Your voice breaks on a whine. “It’s gonna come out—“
“You make a pretty face when your heads filled with nothing but me. I don’t think it’s bad to wanna stay that way,” He hums, almost conversational as he presses a kiss to your skin. “Go on. Let go,”
Something hot sprays between your legs as Umemiya fucks you open on all three of his fingers.
A rush of warm liquid squirts onto your sheets as your legs shake wearily. Umemiya marvels at the mess. Your hands curl into fists, nails digging in your palms as he finally pulls them out - leaving you stretched, almost gaping.
You lay limp in soaked sheets as you pull away from Umemiya with a very weak glare.
He’s smiling at you, dopey and lovesick.
“Too much?”
Angrily, you smack at his bare chest over and over, trying to recover your pride.
“You’re insane. What’s,” You swallow thickly. “What’s with you.”
He shrugs. Wordless, he flips you onto your back again before hovering over top of you. Pressing his forehead to yours, he brushes your noses together and plants a tentative peck on your lips as if trying to gauge whether or not you’re upset. He melts when you kiss him back, smiling happily.
“Were you like this with your other girlfriends? No wonder they broke up with you,”
He laughs. “Mm, no? I was more of a gentleman.”
You break out into another exhausted fit of laughter.
“Pfft, yeah? Guess I’m pretty special,”
“Yeah. You are.” He kisses you again. “Wanna keep going or are you too tired? I don’t mind if we sleep.”
“Stupid. I said it already didn’t I? Hurry up and fuck me.”
“Okay, okay. Let me go get the condom from my wallet,”
You wrap your legs around his waist and stare up at him plainly as he tries to move, keeping him pinned in place. You’re frowning, brows furrowed with a hard glare. He stares at you.
“Did you want something else? Water?”
“Want you to fuck me,” You restate, arms reaching up to circle around his neck. “Just do it already.”
He pulls back to look at you seriously.
“Do you know what you’re asking?”
You flush. “Of course I do. Stupid. Are you trying to get me to say it out loud?”
“I might think I’m deluding myself otherwise.”
You sigh, looking at him flatly as you try to tamp down the part of you that’s screaming to be more tactful.
“Don’t bother with the condom, a-alright? Or pulling out,”
He looks like he’s experiencing the shock of his life. “But…”
“Stop being dumb or I’m never gonna have sex with you again.”
He nods suddenly solemn. “Fine. But,”
You give him another look that silences him. He sighs again, getting the message before kissing your cheek and pull back to sit up on his knees between your legs. Pulling his briefs down, his cock springs free. It looks a lot bigger than you saw underneath the fabric, weighed down from it’s own weight even though it stands up stiff. He opened you up with three but you wonder if it’ll be enough not to stretch you open.
You reach your hand out to touch it tentatively, feeling it’s weight and heft. He clears his throat but seems content to let you. The palms of your hands cup the shaft, feeling all the veins pulse. The tip is sticky with precum. You pull your hand away, another sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming you.
Umemiya hovers over you again, placing he length of his cock against your pussy. You shift a little feeling it slide against you, hard and hot.
“Gonna put it in now, okay?”
Nodding, you put your legs up. You take a deep breath when the head pushes in, letting out an involuntary noise. You feel well-stretched but the thickness of his cock is still enough to make you feel it in your legs. Umemiya is focused above you, barely sliding the tip through your folds as you open up around him. The air feels punched out of your lungs on just the first inch.
His face is strained is he holds his hips steady, leaning down to tap your foreheads together. “Feeling okay?”
“Mm,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. Feels different.”
“Different?”
“Yours is bigger than all the stuff I own,” You explain. “Feels hotter. Harder, too.”
You feel his cock twitch inside of you suddenly, shocking you. He smiles sheepishly.
“Gonna push in a little more, okay?”
You nod, watching as Umemiya so slowly presses his cock into you further. Enough that it doesn’t hurt when you take him, as much as it just feels like something is inside of you. You feel a warm sense of satisfaction at how full you feel. You feel like him like he’s in your stomach, taking up so much space. After a while of pushing, stopping, and going again - he finally bottoms out.
“You feel incredible,” He murmurs, half-smile on his face. Your stomach flutters. “It’s hard not to cum right away. Feels so good inside of you. I love you.”
You feel yourself twitch, frowning at the expression of delight Umemiya has. You put your hand against his fact to keep him away but he kisses your palm and moves it. Bottomed out, he grasps both hands and holds them - pinning them to the bed as you watch him wide-eyed.
“Think you’re used to it?” He hums, clasping your fingers together. “Is it okay if I move?”
You feel so damn bashful. “It’s okay.”
He kisses your forehead. “I’ll go slow.”
As promised, Umemiya pulls out carefully before pushing back into you. You’re so wet that it slides in without any real friction. It takes a few thrusts of him going slowly for your body to get adjusted to the sensation. After a few motions, though - it starts to feel different.
Starts to feel good. Really, really good.
“Oh,” Your eyes flutter open. “Shit. You c-can go faster.”
“Yeah?”
You nod, trying not to seem too eager.
When Umemiya picks up pace, you feel your the whole lower half of your body weaken all over again. Something in your legs, your spine go soft against the bed underneath, a sudden unusual arousal swelling. Somewhere in deeper as he cocks thrusts against your gspot, knocking against it with more force than before. The change in pace coupled with the visual of Umemiya over you, face drawn together in focus as he fucks you is too much. Split open on his cock, you can hear how wet you are each time he moves.
“Feels…” Your words come up empty. “’s so much.”
“Yeah? Is it too much for you, baby?”
You shake your head as your thoughts get increasingly cloudy. It’s like there’s nothing else your body can focus on. The way his cock drags against your sensitive, silken walls. The feeling of being full to empty and then full all over again. The way your pussy gets so much wetter each time he moves, sloppy and sucking him in so tight. You can feel your body want for him.
Umemiya lets go of your hands, sliding one between your bodies. Palm resting on your sex, he lets his brush against your clit. The difference it makes is significant, makes your eyes go wide. He smiles a little, hair falling in his face as he pushes it up with his free hand.
“That’s it,” He hums, contented to keep at it like this. “Feels good, right? Your holding onto me so tightly it’s hard for me to pull out even though you’re so wet.”
You make a whiny noise and wonder if other peoples first times feel this good or if you’re just outrageously lucky. You decide on the latter he fucks you faster and matches his thrusts with the movement of his fingers. You’re warm all over - skin scorching as your hands find his biceps and shoulders to cling onto.
Your voice is so whiny when you call out for him “You’re so deep, ngh.”
He laughs, deep and raspy. “Yeah? Tell me what you’re feeling,”
“It feels good when you’re in me.” You reply drunkenly. “Want it faster. Please,”
He complies with your request almost immediately. You cry out loud, physically incapable of holding the sound in as he gets to fucking you faster and harder. Your pussy is throbbing. Senselessly horny, you pull Umemiya closer to you as he fucks you and smash your lips together. You feel so good, so thoroughly fucked and completely out of it. He’s in you but you want him even closer, want the scent of his skin to mark you.
A second time your body builds up to that familiar feeling but it’s so much farther inside. An orgasm pulled right from your core. Stomach tied in knots as Umemiya fucks you hard, you wrap your legs around his waist and take him.
“That’s it. You’re so good. Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Let me feel it” He murmurs against your skin, holding you close. “You’re making me feel so good. So cute. Go ahead, it’s okay. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.”
Pliant to his request, you hold onto Umemiya for dear life as your body gives into second orgasm. Your nails dig into his biceps as the built up arousal gives way pleasure - and you cum hard with his cock sheathed all the way inside of you. All the wind gets stolen from your lungs as you press forward with another kiss, your whole body trembling violently as you let go.
Umemiya sweet talks you through without letting go once, only stopping to take a pause when you’ve fully ridden out your high.
You stare up at him in a daze as he takes a breather to kiss you, still hard as he’s bottomed out inside of you.
“You gonna cum soon?”
“Mm,” He nods. “Yeah I’m close. If I move, I will.”
“’s okay to cum in me,”
Umemiya laughs warmly. “I’m already about too. You’re not helping,”
You smile a bit as you hug him close to you and tell him again that it’s fine. Before long, he holds you too, whispering the same three words into your neck as he finally lets it out. It’s a weird feeling, thick white ropes of seed spilling into the deepest parts of you.
You don’t really hate it, though.
“I love you,” Umemiya repeats. Tired you don’t try to fight yourself.
“Love you too,”
__
The next morning, you’re stirred away by the sound of your front door unlocking and the sound of Kotoha’s voice echoing through your apartment.
You’re still half-way asleep, so it barely dawns on you that anything is off. Not cognizant enough to think twice, your body tries to go back to sleep.
Or it does until you hear a very loud shout coming from your kitchen that wakes you up with a start.
“No fucking way,”
You sit up suddenly, hearing faint conversation before the sound of steps barreling towards your door. You just barely manage to pull the sheets up over your chest before she comes storming through the door of your bedroom.
You watch her eyes scan your entire room, mentally collecting data before she finally lands on you. As your brain starts to load back in, your eyes go wide with horror at the look of pure scandal on her face.
Fuck. You were supposed to be having dinner with her and Tsubaki tonight. Usually you confirm with them in the mornings since your up. It’s not uncommon for her to drop in when you don’t reply to check in since you live close by.
Fuck.
“You—Oh, I have to text Tsubaki-chan, I can’t believe—“
Before she gets to finish her sentence, Umemiya appears behind her in your door way. The sight of him only adds fuel to the flame of your embarrassment. You went another round or two before bed last night and it looks like it too. Shirtless in sweats he left over a while ago, his biceps are covered in scratch and with a few hickies, he’s wearing his hair down with a cup of tea and a very apologetic smile.
You cover your face with your hands unsure of how to deal with the feeling of pure mortification.
Kotoha snaps a picture of your room that causes even more distress.
“If you don’t delete that right now, I’m gonna kill us both.”
“In your dreams.”
Umemiya laughs warmly. “Please don’t kill each other.”
He slides past Kotoha coming over to you. Bending down to kiss your forehead, he pulls the blanket up over you so you’re more well-covered. You give him an incredulous but Umemiya is unfazed - smiling as bright as ever.
“Good morning,”
“I can’t believe my eyes,” Kotoha says. She points at Umemiya. “You, go put on a shirt.”
“Fine, fine. Stay for breakfast,” Umemiya says with a smile. “It’ll be nice having it with my two favorite people.”
You make another face as Umemiya gives you a long, affectionate look before disappearing. She sighs as she looks at you, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I would ask if you’re gonna meet us for dinner but you don’t have a choice anymore so show up at seven. I’m gonna leave before that tactless idiot comes back. We’ll talk later.”
You nod in understanding. She turns to leave but then turns back with a genuine smile.
“And, well - congrats. He’s a tactless idiot but he does love you or whatever. Cherish each other,”
You flush, nodding your head. “Yeah…thanks.”
With that Kotoha leaves quickly. Umemiya returns still shirtless, pouting a little when he notices she’s gone.
“She left already?”
“Of course she did. I can’t believe you would invite her for breakfast.”
Umemiya shrugs. “No point being coy about it. I thought it’d be nice. I was looking for a shirt but I guess I don’t need one now,” He sits besides you on the bed, turning to face with a goofy smile. “Anyways, good morning.”
“You already said that.”
“You didn’t say it back,”
You frown. “G’morning,”
He smiles suddenly before grabbing you from underneath the blankets and sheets - pulling your naked body ontop of him as he grins. Sunlight pours through the window as he holds you to his chest, kissing the crown of your head before pressing his cheek into your hair.
“Mm, yeah. It’s a really good morning after all.”
“You’re stupid.”
“And you love me,”
You fail trying not to smile. Damn him. You're so happy it hurts. You roll your eyes.
“I guess so.”

#windbreaker x reader#umemiya x reader#windbreaker smut#umemiya smut#writing tag#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya hajime smut#bro#im sorry if there are still typos i edited this so much
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Nerdgasmic Rhapsody



pairings: loser!dom!ellie x popular!sub!reader
cw: flufff!! ellie's an absolute cutie pie. cursing (obv), oral! (r receiving), tribbing (maybe?), nipple play, after caree!!, pet names: sweetheart, baby, princess, that's all i think!
wc: 511
a/n: (intentional lowercase!!!) first ever ficcc omg🥹 i have never ever in my life written a fanfic before so pleaseee don't judge and also feel free to point out some mistakes and stuff!! I take criticisms as i'm sure it'll help me a lot throughout my writing journey :))) can't promise I'll post consistently considering I'm insanely dumped with school works but I'll definitely find time to do so. anyways i hope u guys enjoy this one!! Feel free to hit me w some ideaaasss :3
after you had made it official with the biggest dork on campus—ellie—people would randomly come up to you in the hallways and tease you, not believing how sweet she actually is. after all of your previous relationships, ellie is the only one who genuinely cared for you. despite her shy and nerdy demeanor, she's really fun to hang out with. she'd continuously yap about space, the comic books she's read—savage starlight—and drop all of its lore to you. the whole fucking lore. although you hardly cared. she was too adorable. most of the time, you would find yourself just looking at her sparkling green eyes, topped by her matte, black glasses, her hand gestures, and the soft smile plastered on her lips while she speaks. she's even more beautiful up close. how could others not see that? whilst ellie can be a total cutie pie, you cant deny how fucking insane she can be in bed.
when eating you out, she'd flick her tongue out relentlessly on your leaking hole. firmly gripping on to your thighs, she already knows your next motive. "nuh-uh, sweetheart. keep them open for me." she shoots you a knowing glare before diving back into your drenched core, keeping eye contact all the while. her gaze roamed over your appearance, hair disheveled, eyes rolled back, and completely fucked out. "s-sorry, baby–fuck." you moaned as you clutched onto her dino-printed sheets. so fucking cute. after you'd climaxed for the 3rd time, she'd climb on top of you and slip her tongue down your throat, allowing you to taste yourself as she grinded her own throbbing cunt against yours. your soaking wet pussies rubbing, and creating the most delicious rhythm together. she absolutely loved your boobs. she adored how it just bounces up and down as she rolled her hips above you. she took your nipple in between her thumb and her index finger and pinched them, making you flinch at the feeling. her glasses were all fogged up and crooked, but she couldn't care less. she was too engrossed on drawing out more of those angelic sounds that slips past your lips as she pleases you. "doing s–so good f'me, princess... fuck–so hot." when you had both finally reached your peak, she'd lean down and gently clean up all your juices from between your thighs with her tongue.
she gives absolutely the best aftercare imaginable. the routine would start with cleaning you up with a wet towel, swiping it's soft material across your face, your breasts, your legs, your inner thighs—she had always taken care of you in the most tender and loving way. she loved hearing your soft, exhausted sighs of relief, as you watch her with a smile on your face all while savoring the chocolate she so graciously offered you. after ellie finishes cleaning you up, she would settle beside you, enveloping you in her arms as she wrapped them around your waist. her lips showering your neck with gentle kisses as she whispered heartfelt words of affection. "i'm going to marry you one day."
YAAALLLL OMG I HOPE THIS DIDN'T SUCK TOO HARD😣😣😣🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i hope u guys enjoyed this one, i really enjoyed writing thisss!!
tags: @ellstronaut
dividers: @khaer @plutism
#lesbian#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams smut#ellie smut#ellie fanfiction#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#loser!ellie#lgbtq#wlw#smut#wlw smut#dom ellie#sub reader#popular reader
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