#these mood swings are weird AF

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

Best one yet 🧡

[katyspersonal]

nobody:

Kood: Oh, so, you "like" Messmer? Say the exact amount of strength applied which it took him to impale every single Dancing Lion that he hunted. Name the day he finished reforging his spear for it to become throwable and how many times did he have to throw it. Say the exact timing, down to tens of second, which it took him to cu-

Queelign: I am literally lurking in the cemetery waiting for those graceless Hornsents to visit the graves of their killed ones to ambush and kill them too, Queen Marika would be so proud of me! :D

Wego: Man I wish I had friends, too bad I literally have no one, I am so lonely I'll have to resort to resurrecting dead people :( *spoken literally nearby fellow Knights, including his literal pupil*

Salza: Hey just because I take #1 place amongst everyone else in the Crusade in terms of how many villages and houses I've obliterated doesn't mean I am no longer an intellectual elite. I am the most civilised, cultured and intelligent person here.

Hilde: These idiots do not understand that even the Erdtree itself stand on cultural appropriation! How can we fight in the name of Marika and uh... I think that guy literally named Whore at some point, with that big lion...? if we ignore how much was stolen from the Storm Lord and Godskin Apostles? I swear I am the only one who truly gets it smh. Can't wait to get rid of all Hornsent already so we can use their knowledge to build our OWN Divine Spiral, it will be sick af 👀

Messmer: Hahah no one loves my mother as much as I do, I understand what is better for her Order more than she does herself *mood swing* I hate that bitch, why she never loved me?! *crashes a head off a statue of her* *mood swing* Oh god I am the worst being I am more of a curse upon her than any of these graceless barbarians were ever, disowning me was not enough, she should have killed me... *mood swing* I should have burnt her and her Erdtree instead while I had the chance to do so, only in death we could stand equal *mood swing* I love her so much I can at least find comfort in destroying everyone who doesn't fit her world, it is the least I can do to atone for being born graceless myself *mood swing*

Rellana: Pledge to the Golden Order was a weird era but now we are so back, Stars/Moon and Fire have always been together, since the times of Fire Giants and Astrologers! But to think of it, does the 'Fire' that swears to exterminate everything spurned of the grace of the Erdtree count, if it was Erdtree's enemy? Strange, how the very thing that existed as its enemy got tamed to serve it instead? Dammit, my flawless brilliant logic got a crack in it all because of Messmer's mommy issues!!! (still love him and will die for him tho 🥺💙)

Andreas: I can excuse fascism and genocide, but I draw the line at being a SNAKE!

Huw: <prev so real, had I known my bestie was a snake I'd definitely not go and have sooooo much fun hunting Divine Beasts. I am so deceived.

Edredd: To think of it, more soldiers got executed here for no longer wanting to do genocide than fell from the blades of Hornsents, but idk a job is a job 🤷‍♂️

Garrew: *has the most fucking questionable Crucible aspect ever seen except no one wants to actually question it*

[ink-and-dagger]

Hii, idk is this a weird request but. Silcos s/o fainting.

SO I got the idea 15 minutes ago when I got up too quick and just bam, lights out. My first thoughts waking up on the floor was just 1. Wtf 2. Wouldn't it be hilarious if my fav villain was looking at me confused af rn.

So like. They've just been discussing something, maybe the s/o was sitting on his couch while Silco got some paperwork done and then like

Silco: dear, could you fetch me the last weeks reports from downstairs(or sumn)

S/o. Ye. *gets up and BAM*

YUH UH. LOVE YE BYE

It isn't a weird request at all, and even if it was I love being sent weird shit. I realise that this ask is nearly 3 months old but I hope you're okay💜

I've actually had this half written for a while, but realistically I can’t see myself finding anymore time to extend or finesse it, so I’m just gonna post it as is. It's short and pretty rough, but I hope you enjoy all the same!

Also I hope you don't mind but I've used Astrid as the reader because this is just very in-character for her🥲

Silco x Reader || Silco x Astrid || Fainting || Unedited drabble

The toes of your boots tap absently together high above you - perched as they are atop the back of the crimson chaise in Silco’s office. The rest of you sprawled in a diagonal swoon across the seat cushions.

“You’re doing it again,” Silco chides beneath his breath ­- a mockingly melodic baritone from his seat at his desk, eyes not lifting from the papers in front of him.

Your boots halt their tapping, and you drop your book page down upon your chest in a huff.

“Bored,” you complain.

“Yes, you’ve already mentioned,” he responds patiently, “Which is why I suggested some quiet reading.”

You pull a face and discard the book on the coffee table, “Can’t get into it. Feel restless.”

A lengthy exhale hisses from his nose, and his gaze ticks upwards to meet yours. Long, unimpressed face upside down in your vision from your position upon the sofa.

“If you’re feeling restless then you can make yourself useful,” his attention drops back to his work, and he gestures towards his bookshelves with a flick of his pen, “Fetch me the profit ledger for this quarter. Bottom shelf.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Now.”

You roll your eyes and swing your legs off the back of the sofa in a single dramatic swoop to spring to your—

“Sweetheart?”

The voice swims and warps at the edges of your mind. Loud and distant all at once. The surface beneath your spine is hard and coarse. Your vision remains obscured by a fluttering curtain of darkness which slowly recedes to the outer edges in swirling patterns of dappled red and chem-green.

A face above yours. Eyes that don’t match beneath dark, pinched brows. Mouth drawn tight and age lines deep with apprehension. Cute though.

Your mouth quirks into a dopey smile.

“Hey there handsome,” you trill.

Concern darkens to irritation, “I’ve told you not to lie upside down on the sofa like that. You’re as bad as Jinx. At least she has the excuse of adolescence.”

“S’comfy.”

“Be that as it may, you—don’t even think about it,” Silco growls, pressing firmly on your sternum to force you back down to the rug when you attempt to shift up onto your elbows.

“I’m fine Silco. Just stood up too fast is all.”

“And do you think repeating that mistake is the best course of action? Lay still.”

“Cluck cluck mother hen,” you grumble. But your complaint goes ignored. Silco shifts from his haunches to sit properly at your side, and his arm snakes beneath your knees to lift them, gathering them in a bundle up onto his shoulder.

“Not now Silco. Not in the mood.”

He offers you a slow, unimpressed blink, “It’s to help the blood flow back to your brain. I shouldn’t think it will take all that long to fill up again.”

You flip him the middle finger and his annoyance chips away just a crack, allowing through a tiniest of smirks.

[smolwritingchick]

I'm curious to know what jungkook and the rest of the members would be like, whilst jennie is pregnant. Would they be very overprotective or just let her be?

This is SO cute! 🥰

Jungkook will be the most overprotective. Always wanting to carry stuff for her and do everything for her. If she asks for anything at all even if it’s in the middle of the night for ice cream or a weird craving he’ll immediately grab it. I was thinking avocados will begin to be one of her number one cravings. Wanting it with everything she eats. As she is closer to her due date he’ll be following her everywhere trying to see if she’s ok. If the media tries to bombard them he will get upset along with the rest of the members as they protect her.

Jin: Shockingly Jennie will think Smarties are nasty during her pregnancy so she won’t be eating them again until after she gives birth. I see Jin always on snack duty and food, paying close attention to what she craves. I see him being pretty overprotective too. Also I remember an ask about the boys’ moms giving her recipes that helped during their pregnancies. So I see Jin learning how to make them and cooking for her.

Jungkook: there will be times Jen will tell him she’s fine and can grab something or carry something. And with her occasional mood swings she will get annoyed with him and the others, telling them to chill. I also see Jungkook giving her the best massages and making sure she’s extremely comfortable when sitting or in bed.

J-Hope: I see him also being very overprotective. He’s always been like her guardian angel ever since he noticed her allergic reaction to pineapple. So he will totally always be asking if she’s all right. I was thinking when she gets heartburn for the first time he’d immediately have her eat bananas to help soothe it. And will ask if she ate a banana today just in case the heartburn comes back

RM: he’ll let her be. And also will do research to help her with her pregnancy. He’d also tell the guys to give her her space if he notices her getting moody from their constant overprotection or from her hormones. He’ll be pretty observant on her moods and know just what to say or do to keep her at ease. I also see him helping Jungkook relax whenever he feels on edge about Jennie and her aches or pains during the pregnancy

Jimin: I also see him being more chill. He’ll be attentive to her like the others but won’t act so overprotective. Him and Taehyung will be freaking out and excited to see their OTP becoming parents. He’ll be helping her with the nursery and everything. I do see him and another member bickering over baby clothes or what should be in the nursery

Taehyung: I see him being more chill and leaving her be, too. Of course he’ll be there for her but knows she’ll be fine with everyone else and himself checking on her. He’ll always get so giddy feeling the baby bump and trying to talk to her stomach.

Suga: I feel like he’ll also leave her be. He knows his precious smartie is in good hands with him and everyone else but he won’t be too overprotective. he will make sure she has breathing room. I also see him getting very emotional feeling the babies kick for the first time when she happily asks him if he wants to feel. And telling the guys to let her breathe when the overprotective members are crowding around her to see if she’s ok.

With her hormones going crazy there will be times she’ll want them all to leave her alone. Overall if anyone tries to overstep their boundaries with Jen and her baby bump like trying to touch her stomach without asking, they’ll definitely get upset and call them out on it. I’ll do my best to make the pregnancy chapters whenever I get there fluffy af ❤️

[amongdestiny-qu33n]

My mood swings are so weird. Like just an hour ago I was crying and stuff and now I’m all a sudden happy af.

[lieximhuman]

Mood swings r weird af-

Like u can be having a awesome day, then BOOM- all ur energy is drained from u and I feel like u can barely get up… pass 6h or so and then u r back to ur good day 😐 wtf

[spectruminterests]

“The Lives in Time of Katherine Kaye”

A silly story about my silly OCs! (But there is also Drama and Angst!) I’m posting this in case anyone has heard something about my soulless mad scientist and her chaos-gremlin younger self and wants to know more, or just for anyone who may happen to be interested lol.

This is kinda a draft/summary of the story so far and as such, it’s a mess, but it’s still very long so I’ve put it under a readmore! (TW for (fictional/fantastical) medical stuff, medical procedures without consent, self-harm, internalized ableism of the anti-neurodivergent variety, identity confusion, and child harm/endangerment)

Some characters and a little worldbuilding, before the story gets started:

Beastfolk/Auracai (a weird fantasy race I made up that’s kind of like elves crossed with catpeople):

Beastfolk age at about half the rate of humans and look like normal humans, but with semi-retractable claws, thin catlike tails, red eyes, and sharpened canines.

“Beastfolk” is what humans call them, referencing their “animal” traits. They call themselves Auracai (this is both singular and plural)

They’re originally from another dimension that contacts the human world (the main story’s world) only occasionally - essentially rare but not unheard of immigrants in this world. 

Sometimes people end up in the wrong world by accident, without a way to get home, as travel between worlds is more “randomly/accidentally slipping through the cracks” than intentional, reliable travel.

Beastfolk can sense souls when in direct contact with someone, humans can’t. 

Katherine Kaye (the main character/characters)

2 versions of her in the story, the emotionless mad scientist adult and the adolescent little chaos gremlin

Auracai/Beastfolk

Has Autism + ADHD + Anxiety

has a much older brother, Theodore, who’s been taking care of them since they ended up in the human world together

KT (the adolescent chaos gremlin version of Katherine)

28 (equivalent of 14)

Mischievous streak

A prankster

Really intense emotions, prone to overreacting

Senior in high school because of weird aging

Amateur singer/songwriter/musician and this is a major part of her personality

goes by KT because “it’s like ‘Katie,’ but cooler!”

Both a STEM nerd and an artist

Dreams of having an impact on the world, both of changing things for the better and of being cool and famous

Self-perception swings with her moods: often confident to the point of arrogance or overconfidence, but during a breakdown she’s full of self-loathing and shame.

Wants to travel, explore, and live a somewhat adventurous life; an ordinary office job would never satisfy her. Boring AF and a total waste of her potential.

Pigtails/twin tails

Likes to act cute to get what she wants

Dr. Kaye (the soulless mad scientist/adult version of Katherine)

Removed her own soul (heart/emotions/creativity/etc.) in an experimental process, which she tested on herself in a frustrated attempt to prove herself and to stop having such intense mood swings + be more productive and “better” without her emotional overreactions.

Ended up getting stuck in the past because she was researching interdimensional travel in an attempt to find a reliable way to get back and forth between the human world and the Auracai world (in this story time travel creates a new timeline/slightly different reality)

creepy ever-present smile (this was a form of masking and a coping mechanism, and remains a habit)

egotistical and doesn’t really realize the extent of it: she thinks that without a soul she’s become perfectly logical and efficient and immune to emotional biases. (This is revealed to be untrue when she has to reevaluate the idea that her current “emotionless” state is an improvement.)

now has really limited emotional range and is coldly logical most of the time

still has a few common emotional states though: excited/passionate/enthusiastic about her work, frustrated/annoyed/exasperated with people who are “not smart enough to see her vision” or “keep getting in the way,” amused at others’ incompetence or at messing with people, and a state of discomfort/guilt/concern about what she’s lost and what things have come to that is usually easily repressed and ignored, triggered by reminders of who she used to be

Really any emotion she feels is almost always mild enough to easily ignore.

Started promoting her soul-removal procedure as a “therapy” for anxiety, depression, various other mood disorders and emotional issues, and autism-related intense mood swings.

tends to dismiss other people as running on “mere irrational emotion”

Age: ~80s (early 40s) (She basically has a midlife crisis after getting stuck in the past lol)

she doesn’t tend to go by her first name and absolutely refuses to answer to the nickname “KT,” even from Ted.

almost completely lost her creative, playful side. No interest in anything artistic, including the music she used to love. “Fun” is not only unnecessary, but largely impossible for her, and anything involving conveying or coping with emotions? Forget it.

KT’s brother/guardian: Theodore Kaye

Perpetually exhausted, at the end of his rope

Nicknamed Ted, rarely goes by his full name Theodore

~ 50 (equivalent of 25)

Responsible because he has to be

Introverted

Low energy

Autistic (I love giving everyone the ‘tism lol)

Loyal to his sister, has a special connection with the one person who was there for him both before and after getting stuck in a different world

The story so far:

KT sees something about Dr. Kaye in the news and it mentions that she’s Beastfolk, which makes KT think that maybe she and Ted have a relative they didn’t know about. So KT goes on a bit of a wild goose chase trying to contact this person who might just be someone who happens to have the same last name. They meet, and Dr. Kaye explains the time stuff. Ted is looking for help and Dr. Kaye is like “oh yeah should probably do that, younger me will probably be a great collaborator when she’s a little older.” Ted gets the feeling that something is off about Dr. Kaye, but kinda doesn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Clearly, this is his sister, or a version of her anyway, and although KT is a prankster, she’s a good kid. It’d totally be fine to trust her with… herself. Right? Right?

Time passes, Dr. Kaye recommends KT books, KT gets increasingly curious about Dr. Kaye’s weirder habits. She plays pranks on her, thinking her future self will laugh. She’d laugh. Dr. Kaye pretends to be amused the first time, then doesn’t react at all. She doesn’t react to a lot of things, actually, seeming to have no interest in much of anything, not caring about the things KT has liked her entire life. Something must have happened to her in the future that she refuses to discuss in order to create this weird disconnect, right? 

Meanwhile this entire time Dr. Kaye has just been… watching KT be herself, which causes her a slight, odd feeling of discomfort that she can’t seem to explain. 

Beastfolk, unlike humans, can sense someone’s soul when in direct contact with them. Dr. Kaye is careful to avoid touching people and not make it weird, a habit she formed before getting stuck in the past in order to avoid making other Beastfolk uncomfortable with her soullessness, and has become more important now that she’s stuck in the past and is attempting to hide her lack of a soul.  She also usually locks her bedroom door at night, but one night the door is accidentally left unlocked, and KT notices and tries to play a prank by putting a fake bug in Dr. Kaye’s bed while she’s asleep. She touched Dr. Kaye by accident  - she didn’t really mean to violate her boundaries, but she made the necessary contact and what she sensed was terrifying. 

KT: *screams*

Kaye: *wakes up confused* what the hell are you doing???

KT: *too scared to react*

Kaye: I forgot to lock the door, didn’t I? And now you’re in my room staring at me like a deer in headlights. Just what do you think you’re doing?!? 

KT: I, uh, it was just a prank, I didn’t mean to wake you up, you- your soul…

Kaye: *finds the fake bug* you touched me, didn’t you, as you were messing around trying to plant this ridiculous plastic bug for me to find in the morning… and I suppose I should explain things now that the cat is out of the bag, shouldn’t I? 

She explains to KT about removing her soul and KT is horrified, but even more fascinated. She wants to know more, even though she also wants to run very fast in the opposite direction, and her other self is happy to explain.

KT: *holding Dr. Kaye’s hand, still fascinated by the strange emptiness inside of her* Does… does it hurt? Not having a soul, I mean…

Dr. Kaye: It doesn’t hurt anymore… but it did, at first. I won’t lie to you, removing it was… an extremely painful process. Of course, in most cases it’s done under anesthesia… though I obviously didn’t have that option. After the procedure, there’s definitely some pain, some lingering soreness, which is rather unresponsive to painkillers, but the worst of it fades naturally fairly quickly, and in a few weeks it’s entirely gone.  There’s also a certain sense of emptiness, afterwards… it feels like something is missing deep inside of you, which I suppose is true, but it’s a feeling I didn’t find it hard to get used to. That empty feeling never truly goes away, but it’s distressing at first mostly because it’s disconcerting, rather than being painful. It’s something I can sense even now, if I’m thinking about it, but I no longer find it bothersome, and I haven’t for a long time. 

KT: That… kinda makes sense? And you said you don’t really feel emotions anymore? 

Dr. Kaye: Yes, and that’s been an immense relief. No more anxiety, no more meltdowns. 

KT: … no more happiness, though? 

Dr. Kaye: I suppose you could say that… but I would say that might simply be the cost of being free of emotional bias. I do find I sometimes experience mild emotion-like states… I’ve found it unpleasant to be interrupted while I’m working, for example… but such experiences are transient and low in intensity, and as such they are easily dismissed. 

Dr. Kaye then explains her plans to republish her discoveries in this timeline and promote her soul-removal procedure as a “therapy” for a variety of emotional problems, as she did in her own time. KT, understandably, freaks out further. 

Meanwhile Ted starts realizing that something is deeply wrong with Dr. Kaye and wants his sister back. Eventually Dr. Kaye decides her kid self needs her “treatment” a little early because she keeps “being difficult,” as well as wanting to spare her younger self the suffering of having to live with her emotional overreactions. She tries to figure out the best way to present this to KT so she’ll agree to undergo the procedure willingly, but also prepares to do it by force if necessary, convinced that she knows what’s best for them. KT asks Dr. Kaye about her regrets, which with everything makes the repressed issues come back to the forefront. As she tries to say she regrets nothing and to ask KT to follow in her footsteps, these words somehow seem like a lie. KT is horrified, but her screaming and freaking out just solidifies in Dr. Kaye’s mind that she’s overreacting. She lets KT wear out her panic until she breaks down in despairing tears and states that if KT doesn’t stop resisting, she will force her. 

“KT, listen to me. I’m you. I know what’s best for us. This is for your own good. Now, you can be good and listen to reason, or you can keep fighting and I will have to forcibly sedate you. Either way, when you wake up you won’t have to be sad and scared like this ever again. The pain you might feel now will be nothing compared to all the suffering I’m sparing you.” “W… will… I’m never going play pranks or sing or play music or draw or play pretend ever again will I… but I guess I have to grow up and give that stupid stuff up anyway… I… I have to grow up faster like you and stop that nonsense…”

Dr. Kaye realizes in that moment that she hasn’t done a single creative thing, hasn’t hummed a tune, doodled in the margins of a notebook, made up stories to fall asleep to, anything, since the day she cut out her soul. Is that worthless, or is that something she’s subconsciously missed for a very long time? She remembers that cutting out her own soul was originally an act of desperation and self-hate. She reconsiders everything.

 Meanwhile KT is escaping. She runs home to Ted and cries in his arms. Dr. Kaye realizes that she doesn’t actually want KT to end up like her, and tries to apologize for everything, but is pushed away by Ted. Not wanting to waste this chance to tell her past self what she wishes she’d known, she disappears, but begins to write a diary/memoir of all the regrets she’d never let herself “waste time” dwelling on and all the useful life things she knows from experience that were hard or impossible to find in books. She leaves it for KT one day, around the time of KT’s high school graduation, and KT reads it and tries to find her again. Despite Ted’s deep distrust of Dr. Kaye, they reconnect, originally through email because Ted understandably doesn’t want Dr. Kaye anywhere near his sister. KT really wants to apprentice under Dr. Kaye, as working and training under an experienced mentor is common practice for young people in the Auracai world, and she argues with Ted about it. 

“I thought you really wanted to go to a human university? Wasn’t that your big dream?” “Well kinda, but that was before I met Dr. Kaye! She’d be the perfect mentor because she’s doing so many things and they’re all the things I’m interested in!!!” “Are you completely forgetting that she tried to take your soul?!?? As far as I’m concerned, she’s unstable and dangerous.” “Okay yeah maybe she’s a little unstable but she wouldn’t be dangerous at all to me, she didn’t take my soul because she actually listens to me, remember?” “Katherine. Stop for a moment and listen to yourself. I can’t believe this is a conversation we even need to have.” “I’m trying to listen to myself, that’s kinda the whole point! ;) Someone keeps saying it’s a bad idea!” (KT doesn’t consider herself and Dr. Kaye to be fully one and the same the way Dr. Kaye does, but the joke was far too good for KT to pass up.) “You know what I meant, and it did not involve the potential future you that’s a soulless lunatic!” 

Dr. Kaye starts asking KT for advice on moral and emotional matters, and KT feels needed. Ted begins to relax a little, though he still really doesn’t trust her. Dr. Kaye invites KT to join her on some kind of research trip, and KT sneaks away to do so against Ted’s orders. He is livid with her… but it is a little reassuring that she’s quite unharmed and had a good time. Eventually Ted’s attitude of “I am not letting you walk to your death” softens into “I’m not sure if I can stop you, and it’s really on you if you get hurt after I tried to stop you, but please text me every night with an update on your latest song or art project or whatever or just something about your day, something that’s you, so I know you’re okay.” So KT gets her apprenticeship, and the Katherines end up forming a sort of symbiotic relationship, with Dr. Kaye acting as a mentor, guardian, and voice of reason to KT, and KT acting as Dr. Kaye’s heart and soul and conscience. Dr. Kaye is still soulless but is starting to come to terms with it now… not exactly “okay” but no longer ignoring that there was a loss and more willing to listen to others or at least to her kid self. Although she also likes to say that if she regained her former emotional range now, she’d probably have a heart attack… especially when KT is causing trouble.

[complicitsacrilege]

Tagged by: sent by a friend on Discord!

nicknames: Nick, Nickel, Nicholas Nickelby, Nickelback, Knickerbocker literally any name with Nick in it that my colleagues come up with LMAO

sign: Taurus☀️ Capricorn🌙 & ⬆️

height: 5'5

last thing i googled: "best trans masc romance novels"

song stuck in head: I've been looping Brutal Swing by Igorrr & Of Kali Ma Calibre by Diablo Swing Orchestra lately

dream job: artist/writer! I'm really into ceramics & getting into digital art

wearing: black house robe + slippers

favorite movies/shows: Hellraiser 1 + 2, Alien 1 + 2, Lawrence of Arabia, Only Lovers Left Alive, the IWTV show, John Wick, Blade Runner, House of 1000 Corpses {most Rob Zombie movies ngl}, & Chopping Mall

favorite song: too many to choose just one so I'll give a few bands! Murder By Death - top fave band. Love them to pieces. Igorrr - weird af but my hyperfocus/panic de-escalation {don't ask why idfk} music of choice. Shostakovich - self explanatory, Shostakovich slaps. Handel - again, self explanatory. Creature Feature - when I'm feeling like a weird creature. Rammstein - uhh who doesn't love Rammstein?

favorite instrument: I've played several, but my favorites are viola da gamba and cello

aesthetic: comfy goth? Is that a thing?

favorite author: can't pick just one! My fave genres are horror & romance {monster erotica lately} for sure, but some authors I love are Anne Rice, Iain Reid, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant, Tolkien, T. Kingfisher, Rachel Harrison, Alisha Rai, Alyssa Cole, and Holly Black

random fun fact: my favorite scents are lavender/vanilla and peppermint/vanilla depending on my mood. Also rain/the smell just after a thunderstorm. And the smell of my pup's fur.

Tagging anyone who wants to do a thing {tag me if you do, I wanna see}!

[joyboythehopepunk]

being told i'm very intelligent and self aware since i've been young. being told i'm very mature for my age. people in my age group and adults in my life noticing i was introverted, self-isolating, and/or had no friends. people noticing it was hard for me to get close to people. people noticing i had very intense emotions and mood swings.

people noticing i wasn't normal. that i was weird.

enter pretty privilege. enter high masking. enter sun-coded (but depressed) individual.

my outward characteristics and peoples' biases (neither of which i can control) along with my constitution (being autistic, trans, brown, attractive) seems to REALLY vex people.

up to the point they only zero in on three aspects of me:

i'm hot. i'm trans. i'm weird af.

also note: not having any proper support or love because of my characteristics and peoples' biases/expectations.

makes for life on nightmare mode. i am single and lonely and probably gonna die alone because of shit i can't help. because i can't find ONE person i can love and be loved by.

and i know i'm not the only one. i know i'm not. but this is shitty. shitty af.

the worse part is being misunderstood and mistreated. and no matter how many times or how many ways you try to explain yourself people still get it wrong and have the worst takes ever.

Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.

For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."

Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Why have the past few days been so hard I don't even understand. It's like I know all of the tools to help myself and heal, but like sleeping for example. I know I need to get enough sleep but I keep waking up extremely upset and it's ruining my mornings. I know I need to eat better but I barely have an appetite. I'm on my period and I absolutely fucking hate it. I think I may have some period-related distress disorder or something because this just can't be normal. I wish there was something I could take like an aspirin but instead of pain it would alleviate ridiculous mood swings. My period makes me feel so out of control of my body and so uncomfortable. I'm glad I have found a way to skip it for the most part, but then when I do have one it's 20x worse!!?? So either have it a quarter of the year being a nuisance or 4x a year but terrible?? Idk fml. I feel like a fucking teenager again which is 100% not my fucking speed. I am grown I want to act grown in so tired of bs people and bs situations and bs "how things should go" when it comes to social situations. I don't know how to fucking date anymore and I feel like so FUCKED UP from this past relationship. I'm so used to wringing myself dry, squeezing every drop of myself into someone just to get completely fucked over and forgotten about. I can't do that shit again. But if it's not 100%, what the fuck is it?? 10% 20% 50%? I can't imagine giving 50% of myself to someone I don't fucking know. Maybe like 5% haha. That's expendable, but is that enough to garner anything serious?? Or just a bunch of bs????? Help me please anyone 🙃

7:41am seriously coming to terms with how fucked up my last relationship was. And coming to terms with the fact that it has fucked me uP. I do need therapy tbh that would be an investment for me this year. Idc if it's through the school or not their wait-list is so stupid and long.

I want to be around more women this year, men are just making me lose my fucking mind.

7:21pm just got off of another last minute shift! I called him earlier until he finally picked up bc I can't understand his weird ass games. And weird ass games is 100% correct. He said he "silently cried" in public at his gfs parents house last night bc they kept playing songs that remind him of me.... Bro wtf... I literally don't know what to say to that shit. Then I confronted him about why he took me off everything so abruptly and he basically said that everyone else told him to. He just does whatever everyone else tells him to do, he's such a loser. Then he said that anytime his phone goes off, calls or texts, he gets anxious bc he thinks it's me calling him?? Apparently I make him so anxious now... bc he was the dumb one to get such a paranoid gf a week after we broke up, apparently I'm still the cause of numerous fights between them... Literally tho this is 100% NOT MY FAULT. YOU CANNOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT BLAME ME FOR WANTING YOU AFTER YOU TELLING ME REPEATEDLY THAT YOU WANTED ME AND THAT YOU REGRETTED EVERYTHING. HE'S LITERALLY A FUCKING CRAZY NARCISSIST PUSSY BITCH.

I'm fully convinced that he's a narcissist now bc goddamn ALWAYS HE IS THE VICTIM!!!!! This shit is unbelievable!!!!! I don't ever see us getting back together bc like I said previously, the respect is GONE. On top of being an asshole, he literally has no fucking balls and just takes his fragile ego out on anyone he thinks he can treat like shit/ less than him. Goddamn I feel bad for that girl but on the other hand, she gets what she deserves !!! She can have your crazy ass I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's like he's reverting backwards too, really acting like a brat ass teenager again, love triangles and generally NOT BEING A MAN AT ALL. Literally he acts like a child with no emotional regulation and it's sad af honestly. It's really just sad. That's why I cry. Not because I miss him, but bc I feel bad that he really is such a fuckup and I thought I could help him. I cry for my own grieving, overly kind heart that I gave to someone so fucking helpless. Beyond help at this point bc there's so many fucking people ENABLING HIS BEHAVIOR. I am literally outnumbered by stupid fucking idiots who think this shit is acceptable. I simply cannot. Good luck bro.

[suckitsurveys]

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) That’s a good question. There are a lot of widows in my family, so I am not sure who still living has been married the longest. I also couldn’t tell you the years anyone in my family has been married, except for my cousin Ann and her husband, because they got married the year I was born, so 34 years lol.

Do you have any Eastern European ancestry? I am mostly Eastern European actually.

Where is your car parked right now? In the parking lot across the street from the building I work in.

When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? I traveled to Boston alone last weekend. I mean, I was going to see a friend, but I flew there alone and back.

Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes.

What’s your favorite movie series? The Toy Story series.

How are you feeling today? I am stressed AF and sick and sleepy and irritated and hungry.

Look to the right - what’s the first thing you see? My coworker’s chair.

^^ What does that thing remind you of? My coworker???

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I put red streaks in it in 7th grade.

What is something that’s considered a luxury, but you wouldn’t want to live without? A phone, I guess. Or sushi.

Do you want to move anytime soon? Not super soon, but we have been considering it.

Did you have coffee this morning? Yup, currently still drinking it.

How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? Ahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I went to a shitty fucking private Luthern school that was so focused on shoving religion down our throats that I feel like I learned jack shit.

What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? This one has been pretty eventful and interesting. This year has been my “yolo” year. I’ve been to so many comedy shows and Lollapalooza and flown a lot more.

What was the first social media site you ever used? I’m not sure if it qualifies as social media but Yahoo Chatrooms? Lol. Or Xanga maybe?

Do you have any exes you really regret dating? Nah. They’re all irrelevant. What brand of laundry detergent do you use? We use Tide.

Are you prone to mood swings? Not usually, but it can happen.

Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? I mean, not a huge lie? Maybe something about time management skills lol.

Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Not my sister that’s for sure.

What was the last thing you bought, other than food? Uhhhhhhh Dayquil.

Do you smoke? Or vape? Just weed occasionally.

What are you dreading right now? Everything.

What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? He was a dick.

Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? Sarah’s apartment in Boston!

Do you have any step- or half-siblings? Nope.

Have you ever been catcalled? Duh.

How old were you when you started scheduling your own doctors appointments? 22 or 23, I think?

Have you ever driven across an international border? Nope.

When was the last time you spoke to a neighbor? Sami texted me yesterday about getting a new kitten.

When was the last time you washed your bed sheets? Around a month ago.

What do people always seem to think is weird about you? I don’t know, ask them.

Ever notice how high schools in movies/tv shows are portrayed way differently than in real life? Sure.

Do you ever braid your hair? Yes.

What food sounds the most appetizing right now? Crab legs.

[zzzora]

Everything was dark and my mind was numb and I felt like nothing

And then it's like, I gradually return to the living and it's like

Okay, time to feel like a regular human being with a mind that works again, I guess?

[i-write-boop-spoops]

Guzma as an expecting father! headcanons

ignore the fact I'm a day late for father's day, it's dilf! guzma time!

features: pregnancy and discussion of symptoms, a smidge of angst, and some mild references to sex

Enjoy!

Oh shit.

Well, this wasn’t part of the plan

It’s not necessarily unexpected though

Admittedly, you two had been rather lax when it came to protection

And as much as he talked up his pull-out game, Guzma found it very hard to put his money where his mouth is when he’s about to bust a fat nut

So here you are

His baby

His fucking cinnamon applin

Almost in tears as you tell him that you’re pregnant

From all the shock, he doesn’t know what to say

He doesn’t know what to feel either

His mind is a swirl of emotions

It takes him a moment (or several minutes) to fully comprehend the situation

Not great, since you’re freaking the fuck out waiting for his response

Eventually, he just gives you a big, reassuring hug and tells you that he’s here for you, and your baby too.

In reality, Guzma likes the idea of having a family with you

And you’re his boo, he’d do anything to support you, no matter what

He really really wants to be a good dad

A provider for your burgeoning family

The kind of man you deserve

So first things first – well after he takes you both out for malasadas to calm yourselves down and celebrate - he’s gotta get a job

He’ll take anything

Fast-food chef, janitorial duties, cashier, Pyukumuku thrower…

Hopefully some professional battling to get some legit earnings

Next thing, you two are moving OUT of the Shady House

And by extension Po Town

That place is not suitable for babies

You don’t stray too far though

Getting yourselves a cramped (but thankfully two-bed) apartment in Malie City

Lowkey

And by that, I mean HIGHKEY

Guzma thinks you’re hot af pregnant

Man is like 100 times more handsy

Which is wild considering how handsy he already was

But his touches are a lot gentlerand loving

Though still quite protective and possessive

My man may or may not have shed a tear when he felt that first kick

Guzma goes back and forth on whether or not to propose to you

On one hand, he loves you, and he wants to give your baby a more stable home

But on the other, he doesn’t want you to feel like he’s just doing this because you’re pregnant and it’s “the right thing to do”

Plus, weddings are so stressful

And expensive!

Eventually, he decides to wait until after your baby is here to propose

After all, they’d make such a cute little flower boy/girl on the big day!

God-mon Plumeria!

You two set up the cutest little nursery for youe baby

Ideally he wanted to fill it with brand-new stuff

But that wasn’t totally feasible, so many things are second-hand

Some from when you were born!

One of the new items though, is a cutiefly teddy

It was the first thing he bought for the baby

First thing he bought from his first pay-cheque actually

Walking home tired and stressed from his first week on the job

He’s usually pretty good at dealing with your symptoms

Gives you back-rubs, holds your hair back when you’re getting sick, over-indulges your weird-cravings…

Seriously he went out at four a.m. trying to find somewhere that sold pickled lumberries so you could have them with some yogurt and peanut butter

Though considering the fact he is new to all this + he has 0 patience things can get a bit hairy sometimes

Like he is not good at handling any mood-swings

Or when baby kicks him in his sleep

One thing he does enjoy about you being pregnant is that you’ve taken to wearing his clothes a lot more

They’re big on you, so they’re perfect for your changing body

We all know how he feels about you in his clothes 👀

He keeps ultrasound pictures on him at all times

Just as a reminder of his little larva

Makes the tough days easier

He loves being the big spoon even more now

Finding great comfort and excitement in holding you and cradling your bump while he falls asleep

When baby finally comes

Yall know ya boi is gonna be right by your side

Doing his best to support you through this traumatic, demanding time

(though I can also totally see him just chilling, casually eating a sandwich while you’re pushing out a LITERAL human baby from your bits)

Once baby pops out, and you get to hold your little one

Guzma wraps his arms around both of you, gazing at the wonderful life you’ve created together

And after a moment he asks:

“So, Guzma Jr.?”

“Absolutely not!”

[simps-and-scribbles]

Headcanon: HQ reactions to you smelling like different body wash

Tried my best to make it gn reader!

Genre: fluffy af

Characters: Kuroo, Bokuto

Author note: may do more characters for this headcanon if I think of more scenarios 😄

Tetsuro Kuroo

You had been sitting on the couch with Kuroo now for about half an hour watching tv, initially when you came in the door he had given you a big smile and a hug as he normally did, but as you sat down on the couch you slowly started to notice his demeanour change and a small scowl had taken over his features. He was giving one word answers to all the conversations you brought up and it was really starting to worry you, it wasn’t like him to have large mood swings, that was bokuto’s department.

Kuroo stood up from the couch, unwrapping the arm he had around your shoulder, I’m just gonna look for something to eat he said quietly. You watched him run a hand through his hair and sigh as he went to the kitchen. Something was definitely up.

“Is something wrong tetsu?” You asked following him. He pulled a juice box out of the fridge and leaned against the counter, contemplating his response.

“actually ya there is” he said taking a sip of the juice, “you smell weird.”

“What!” You exclaimed immediately smelling your armpits “but I just showered” you said.

“No that’s not what I mean…” kuroo said “you smell like men’s body wash and I know it’s not mine…did you…are you…” kuroo struggled to get the words out, clenching his fist he looked away from you. It suddenly clicked in your head what he was worried about and you quickly rushed over to him.

“Babe no, omg no, did you think I was with someone else?” You said cupping his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “I had to use my brothers body wash because I was out of mine.” You said smiling.

“Well now I feel dumb.” Kuroo said rubbing the back of his head.

“It’s okay, I hope you know that I would never do that to you.” You said wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him.

“I know, I don’t even know why I thought it in the first place” he said, returning your hug and taking a deep breath. “But could you please get some more of your body wash, I miss your smell” he said and you nodded your head giggling.

Kotaro Bokuto

It had been 2 weeks since bokuto had left for his training camp and you were really starting to miss him. You thought you had gotten used to him leaving every couple months for tournaments or training, but for some reason it was worse this time around. Thankfully he would be back tonight.

You could barely contain your excitement knowing you would see him in a couple hours. Deciding not to waste anymore time you went to shower and get ready for when he would be back. You pulled on your favourite outfit and ordered food from Bokuto’s favourite take out to have when he got home.

When you heard the car pull up you couldn’t stop yourself from running out the door to greet him. “Kotaro!” You yelled excitedly.

“Hey, hey, hey! Y/n!” He greeted you with his signature smile, dropping his bag and outstretching his arms for you to jump into. His strong arms wrapped under your thighs and your arms wrapped around his neck as you locked your lips to his. You were so happy to finally be in his arms again, cupping his face you kissed him hard. His grip on your thighs tightened as you deepened the kiss and you let out a little moan as he walked to the door with you on his hips. Feeling dizzy you released the kiss, your eyes clouded with lust.

“I missed you so much” you said looking him in the eyes before burying your head in the crook of his neck.

“I missed you too” he said, hugging you closer taking a deep breath. When you reached the porch he set you down, his hands still resting on your hips. Suddenly, he started smelling your hair, your neck, your shoulder.

“Kotaro, what are you doing?” You said giggling at his silly antics.

“Why do you smell like guys body wash?” he asked, pulling back to look at you with his puppy dog eyes, his hair beginning to droop slightly.

A small blush tinged your cheeks, “you don’t recognize it?” Kotaro’s head turned to the side in confusion “it’s your body wash, I was really missing you so I bought it to make it feel like you were nearby.” You said nervously as you confessed your secret.

“Ahhh!” you yelled in surprise as bokuto picked you up and placed you back on his hips. “Kotaro!?”

“You are too cute y/n.” He said kissing at your exposed collar bone as he walked you both to the bedroom.

[moralscoded-blog]

does    anyone    wanna    talk  .        like    if    you    crash    my    im    or     like    this     and    i’ll    crash    yours   ??        or    d / iscord .

[honey-milk-depresso]

write up about asher duke margaret

About Asher: 

Twisted from the Duchess (Alice in Wonderland)

160cm

A first year Scarabia Student

Feisty af-

Mood swings a little-

Tsundere to everyone, but mostly to Deuce

Acts hostile to Yuu(ri) at first but soon got along with them rather quickly.

Riddle, Trey and Chenya’s childhood friend, sort of.

Same elementary school and onwards as Riddle and has a one sided rivalry with him, although Riddle has no idea what the fck is up with him-

very determine to “beat” him-

Riddle just sees him as a weird but adorable junior who at least knows how to abide to the rules.

From the Rose Kingdom.

Has a musical major, specifically in piano.

He still is quite frail, and can get easily tanned in the sun.

Apparently, he looked ugly back then, and got made fun of for looking funny, being short and weird. He wanted to be like Riddle because he thought they look quite similar, and worked super hard to be on his level.

Admires Deuce for wanting to be an honor student for his mother. While he just wanted to be one for the sake of “beating” Riddle, he also want to make his grandmother proud.

Lives with his grandmother, and has a caretaker look after her using the remaining piano contests prize money he won.

He worries what happens if he ran out though-