#these last few months have been a horrible void

[midastouch013]

Exes And Stomach Flus

Based on this request

Summary: You just came back from a horrible date, so what happens when you hear your ex throwing up on you way back.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort. Self-loathing (N). Break ups. Throwing up. Sick Nat

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The echoes of a disastrous date reverberated in your mind as you trudged through the walls of the avengers compound. The evening had been a train wreck, courtesy of a pick-me chick whose incessant need for validation grated on your last nerve.

The terrible evening was a stark reminder of why you had distanced yourself from the dating scene in the first place. But even as you tried to push the memories aside, thoughts of Natasha flooded your mind, bringing with them the pain of your breakup.

It had been months since Natasha ended things, leaving you with more questions than answers. There were no explanations, no closure—just a void where your relationship had once thrived. In the aftermath, you had retreated from the avengers, fearing having to see her, seeking solace in solitude as you tried to heal the wounds she left on you.

And so when you reached Natasha's door, yours just 3 more down, you hesitated. Sighing heavily, ready to go to your room and drown your sorrows with a bottle of wine.

You, however, stopped when a muffled sound caught your attention—a retching, guttural sound that sent a pang of concern through you and before you knew it, against your better judgment, your hand was knocking softly on her door.

"Natasha?" you called out, pushing the door open cautiously. The bed had been abandoned but the bathroom lights glowed, and the sight that greeted you was unexpected, yet strangely familiar. There she was, Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow herself, hunched over the toilet, a ghost of her usual composed self. The sound of her sickness echoed in the room, stark against the backdrop of her vulnerability.

You stepped inside, closing the door behind you. "Hey," you murmured softly, approaching her side. "Are you okay?"

"I'll survive," she said cold and abrupt, although the weakness showed clearly

And that made you falter, feeling like an intruder in her space. The pain of being near her, yet so far from the intimacy you once shared, threatened to overwhelm you. You considered leaving, seeking solace in the company of someone—anyone—but the sight of Natasha's vulnerability rooted you to the spot.

"Nat," you murmured softly, torn between your desire to help and the ache in your heart. "Do you want me to get Clint or someone else?"

You were sure she'd ask for Clint, Wanda at the least, but Natasha's response was immediate, a desperate plea that cut through the air like a knife, a stark contrast to the previous response. "Please, don't leave me," she whispered, her voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

"Nat-asha, I don't know if this is a good idea," you protested weakly, your heart torn between conflicting emotions.

And for the first time in the last few months, her eyes look up at yours with a silent plea in her eyes. A look you knew all too well—a silent request for comfort, for you to be there in her time of need.

Despite the turmoil within, your heart couldn't ignore the silent plea in Natasha's eyes, nor the desperation in her weakened voice as she begged you to stay.

“Please”

For what felt like an eternity, you battled with your own emotions, protesting weakly against the overwhelming urge to leave. But with each passing moment, Natasha's grip on your hand tightened, her silent plea resonating within you, until finally, with a heavy sigh, you relented.

"I'll stay," you whispered softly, the words barely above a breath, yet weighted with the depth of your emotions.

Natasha's relief was palpable, a flicker of gratitude shining in her eyes as she leaned into your touch. "Thank you," she murmured, her voice barely audible over the quiet of the room, the silence, not for long though, as she hunched over the toilet again.

As Natasha retched again, you winced in sympathy, a pang of sorrow tightening your chest. Without hesitation, you moved closer, your hand rubbing soothing circles on her back as she endured another wave of sickness.

"It's okay, Nat," you whispered softly, your voice a gentle reassurance in the midst of her distress. "I'm here. You're going to be okay."

Natasha's only response was a weak nod, her grip on your hand tightening as she struggled to regain her composure. Despite the pain etched on her features, there was a quiet determination in her eyes—a silent acknowledgment of your presence and the strength it brought her.

As the waves of nausea subsided, you helped Natasha to her feet, her body trembling with weakness. With careful movements, you guided her to the bathroom sink, supporting her as she rinsed her mouth and splashed water on her face.

"Can you stand?" you asked softly, concern lacing your voice, when you realised she had finished throwing up.

With a determined nod, Natasha attempted to rise, but her legs wobbled beneath her, threatening to give way. Without hesitation, you stepped forward, your arms wrapping around her waist to steady her.

"I've got you," you murmured reassuringly, your voice a gentle anchor in the sea of uncertainty.

Together, you guided Natasha to the sink, supporting her as she leaned against the counter. With trembling hands, you picked up the toothbrush, applying toothpaste with careful precision.

"Here, let me help," you offered, your touch gentle as you guided the brush along Natasha's teeth. With each stroke, you could feel the tension in her body easing, her breaths coming easier as the discomfort began to fade.

As you helped her rinse her mouth and splash water on her face, you couldn't help but marvel at the vulnerability she displayed—the quiet strength that lay beneath her fragile exterior. She'd only ever shown you this few months after you started dating, and that was after you had admitted that you loved her.

With Natasha leaning against you for support, you guided her to the bedroom, your movements slow and deliberate. You helped her change into fresh clothes, your touch a silent reassurance of your presence.

You settled Natasha into bed, ensuring she was comfortable before taking your place on the opposite side, leaving a significant space between you.Then, in the stillness, you heard what seemed to be a small sniffle, followed by another. And another. And soon enough the sound of Natasha's silent tears filled the room. 

As Natasha's tears fell and she let out her first sob, something she never does, only ever silently crying, your concern intensified, your heart pounding with worry. "Nat, what's wrong?" you asked, your voice soft but urgent, reaching out to touch her trembling shoulder that faced away from you.

She recoiled slightly, as if your touch startled her, before finally turning around and meeting your gaze with eyes brimming with pain. "You… you'll hate me," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own cries.

Your brow furrowed in confusion, your own heartache mixing with concern for her. "Tasha, whatever it is, you can tell me," you urged gently, your voice tinged with worry.

“The reason-” she cracked, unsure of what to say, “The reason we broke up-” 

With a shaky breath, Natasha hesitated, her lips parting as if she struggled to find the right words. "It wasn’t you, it was me," she finally managed, her voice thick with emotion.

A surge of frustration and anger rose within you, the pain of her abrupt departure still fresh in your mind. "What do you mean, it's not me? You ended things without a word, Natasha!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with emotion. "You left me without any explanation, and now you expect me to believe it's just you?"

As the words spilled from your lips, a torrent of hurt and betrayal and partially confused with why she was bringing it up in the first place, Natasha flinched, as if your words were a physical blow.

She let out a shaky breath.

"I felt unworthy… like all I could offer you was pain and darkness," she confessed, her voice trembling with self-condemnation. "I'm a monster, and you deserve so much more than that."

Natasha's confession struck you like a dagger, each syllable driving a wedge deeper into your heart. Your throat tightened with unshed tears as you listened to her unravel before you, her voice trembling with pain and anguish.

"I'm broken, Y/n," she choked out, her words a broken whisper against your chest. "I don't deserve your love... I don't deserve anyone's love."

Natasha's words hung heavy in the air, her words a painful echo of her inner turmoil, and you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. The weight of her self-loathing bore down on you like a crushing weight, threatening to break you more than you were by the breakup. And as she broke down before you, her sobs echoing in the darkness, you knew that you couldn't let her face this pain alone.

With sure hands, you quickly gathered her into your arms, pulling her into your chest despite the resistance in her movements. She pushed against you with all her strength, her cries of anguish muffled against your shoulder as she tried to push you away. But you held on, refusing to let go, your grip firm and unwavering as she struggled against you.

With each push, each desperate attempt to break free, your heart broke a little more, the pain of her rejection cutting deep into your soul. But you refused to give up, your love for her outweighing the ache in your heart. And so you held her close, whispering soothing words into her ear as she fought against you, her cries growing louder with each passing moment.

But slowly, oh so slowly, the resistance began to fade, her struggles growing weaker as the tears continued to fall. And as she finally collapsed against you, her body trembling with exhaustion, you held her close, your arms a silent refuge in the midst of the storm.

Gently, you brushed the tears from her cheeks, your touch tender as you cradled her close.

"Nat," you began softly, your voice a soothing balm in the darkness. "You're not everything you claim to be."

With a shaky breath, you launched into a heartfelt monologue, your words pouring forth much like the contents of her breakfast, lunch and dinner, a few moments prior

"You're not a monster, Nat," you asserted, your voice unwavering. "You're one of the bravest people I know. You escaped the Red Room, survived it. When Clint and I gave you a chance, you took it, you took it and never looked back. You're not broken—you're a survivor."

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you continued, recounting the countless moments of humor and warmth that Natasha brought into your life. From her dry wit to her fierce loyalty, each trait painted a picture of a woman far far far away from the despicable figure she saw herself as.

"And let's not forget how you save millions of people, on a weekly basis" you added, a note of pride in your voice. "You risk your life all the time, from stopping bombs from detonating to fighting aliens conjured by gods, and because of you, countless lives were spared. That's not the mark of a monster—that's the mark of a hero."

"And don't even get me started on the cute things you do," you teased gently, a playful twinkle in your eye. "Like the way you scrunch up your nose when you're concentrating, or the way you pretend to hate it when I steal the last slice of pizza. Those quirks, they make you who you are. They make you human."

Leaning in, you pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. "Tasha, you deserve the world," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. 

"You in the months we were together made me the luckiest and happiest person in the world, just by being next to me. And no matter what lies in your past, no matter what mistakes you think you've made, I'll always see you for the incredible person you are."

Despite the tears still lingering in her eyes, Natasha couldn't help but chuckle at your words, a faint glimmer of light returning to her gaze.

Natasha's tear-stained eyes searched yours, a glimmer of hope flickering within them. "You really think so?" she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," you replied, your own voice filled with conviction. "As a matter of fact, I know so"

She gave you a small smile which didn't last long as her stomach lurched again and she was scrambling out, from under the covers.

As Natasha rushed up from the bed, the urgency in her movements palpable, you couldn't help but spring into action once more. Hurrying after her, you offered your support, holding back her hair as she retched into the toilet once more. The sound tore at your heart, a stark reminder of her vulnerability in this moment of weakness.

Once she had finished, you helped her back to bed, guiding her gently until she was settled against the pillows. As she leaned back against you, her breathing labored, a moment of vulnerability passed between you, her words hanging heavy in the air.

"I still love you," Natasha whispered softly, her voice barely audible over the sounds of the room.

You froze, her admission catching you off guard. "I… I just got back from a date," you stammered, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

The hurt flickered in Natasha's eyes, a guardedness settling over her features once more. With a determined look, she tried to sit up, as if preparing to distance herself once more.

But you couldn't let her, you wouldn't. Without hesitation, you reached out, gently placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Nat, wait," you urged, your voice filled with urgency. "I'm… I'm still in love with you too."

And that seemed to click in her head as she relaxed in your arms again but a small tension lingered in the air, the weight of your admissions still hanging heavy between you. And, just as the silence threatened to become suffocating, you felt a spark of mischief flicker within you.

"Well, I suppose that's one way to get back with your ex," you quipped, a playful grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

Natasha's chuckle was music to your ears, a soft melody that chased away the lingering tension in the room. "I guess you're right," she replied, her voice laced with amusement, before adding. "I'd kiss you right now if my mouth didn't taste of puke."

The humor in her words caught you off guard, a burst of laughter bubbling up from deep within you. "Well, that's a mood killer if I ever heard one," you joked, the laughter easing the weight from your shoulders.

And so, a toothbrush and paste later, you finally got to kiss the ruby red lips of the love of your life again. Knowing that it only got better from this.

------------------

[charmedreincarnation]

TW: SA, possibly death??

Hey there fellow witches and warlocks, it's spooky season and I am loving it! I recently discovered the void state through yoga nidra and your reverse psychology method charm, and I was ready to manifest my dream life. October is my birth month and my favorite season, so I was excited to see what the universe had in store for me and whoa did it come through.

It's unfortunate to see that SA victims like me and others are still getting death and rape threats. I was inspired by a blog who shared her experience with yoga nidra, but then deactivated due to trolls sending her horrible messages. It's sad to see people hating on others' success, but we won't let them bring us down.

I manifested everything I desired of course my mind came through!! - from my desired face, body, aura, zodiac, personality, voice, talents, friends, family, and so much more. A few things I've manifested include a dark academia mansion, billionaire parents who aren't known, a witchy and Halloween-themed small business, and an eco-friendly private jet.

I know some of you may be concerned about the "death note" I've manifested, but it's just for fun - I'm a huge fan of Light Yagami from Death Note. I won't actually use it, but it's a cool spook factor to have.

Here’s a tiny list anyways ⬇️

🎃Desired face, body, aura zodiac, personality, voice, talents, friends, family and so much more. I had this long wattpadd story ass list that I obviously won’t share here but trust me my mind came through .

🎃open minded witchy family, dark academia ass mansion, Pinterest dark academia wardrobe in my massive closet that’s the size of a room, billionaire parents who aren’t known (I love my privacy and I love being mysterious), wattpadd billionaire love story to happen in the future. Yes not now…. I’ve been ugly all my life so I want to be a slut right for a bit not sorry, everyone loves and falls in love with me, Idgaf personality, Scorpio sun moon and rising, bold attitude that is adored, but a kind heart for the people I love and so much more. Again like most people I had a very long list on my google documents

🎃I own a witchy candy and Halloween small business!!! but I’m going to be making 100 million dollars a year so I will be a billionaire in the future. I like working and having a craft and it’s just so me, ugh I love my life !!! But I’m going to hire my two best friends that I manifested so we can all be successful rich witch bitches who travel the world and have too much money to spend

🎃an environment friendly private jet. It won’t affect the environment as I love the environment but I also hate flying commercial! I’m also vegan now, I couldn’t be one before due to health issues, but I love animals 🥹🥹🥹 and now I’m rich enough to have healthy tasty cruelty free food.

🎃anyone who sends death threats, rape threats, or engages in a bitter manner on that tea page including the owner will never get into the void until they grow up and acknowledge that they’re weirdos. I’m not as forgiving as these other big blogs. Bye ✌️

🎃anytime I say “you’ll die alone” when im arguing with a man 🤮🤮 (incels, misgyonists, racists not men who aren’t insufferable ofc love y’all) they actually will, and no one will ever love them, until they grow up and once again acklowege their faults. As you can see I’m very into vigilante justice and I’m petty 👻 I’m a witch anyways so now my craft will be perfect.

🎃all my spells and curses work! And any harm attempted to be done to me always backfires On the person 10x worse ! Yea this is my world everyone’s just living in it.

🎃psychokenis, my eyes being able to turn red, divine protection for me and my loved ones, the ability to speak to animals, and never aging. The last thing I manifested a way to benefit all !!!! research age regression and see how we will all be eternal youthful witch bitches in the future ;) I got inspired by my grandma who retired but us too old to enjoy her life. Now she can and we call be 150 and still sexy with 0 bodily pain. I also always hated how we slowly decompose and lose bodily function until we die.. like why can’t we be sexy and bodily abled forever!! This will also help with health issues and diseases like cancer! Just one way to give back for my blessings. And the rest is just to spook bitches tbh I don’t plan on actually doing anything but speaking to animals.

🎃I manifested a death note. Now before y’all start I just really love light yagami I don’t think I will actually use it or maybe I will just to spook bitches but whatever

🎃so much more that I don’t want to share because it’s too long!

So, fellow hot bitches and witches , keep manifesting your dreams and never let anyone bring you down. Remember, we were born to be happy, rich, and loved. It is in your DNA and my word is final !!!!! I’m gonna leave my dream life and be a whore now lova yaaaa 🖤🖤🖤

Lmfao slay 😭😭 idk if it’s too early or what but this sending me for some reason! Anyways I wish you all the best in your life and dreams. Have a great spooky season! I love witches and Halloween too 🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️

[icarusdescending7]

Aquamarine - Chapter 5

Ao3 | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Your fiancé died seven years ago, and you joined the military in his wake to fill the void his death put on you. Now, you work with the 141 for an assignment, hunting associates of their enemies.

Their Lieutenant, however, given you an uneasy feeling. You have a vague sense of familiarity with him, but from where?

-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-

Price did throw you a mini celebration, he felt bad for missing the day. Gaz and Johnny made a crude little cake for you and everyone sat together and had a good evening. Almost everyone, anyway. Ghost seemed pretty distant the whole time, more so than usual. He would only talk when spoken to but was otherwise off in his own world. Eventually, he retired to his room for the night, leaving the rest of you to your own devices. You all ended up drinking a little bit, which was a mixed bag. Johnny was a very loud drunk, Gaz giggly, and Price the sleepy kind. Unfortunately, that left you, the sad kind, to get all sniffly with them and ramble about the things that make you sad. By the end of the night, you were crashed out on top of your bedsheets, sniffling in your sleep. 

~~~

“Alright sweetheart, I gotta go. I’ll text you in the morning and we’ll call again tomorrow, okay?” Simon said, his voice slightly muffled from the phone speakers.

“Okay, Si. Tomorrow. Sleep tight.” You said, yawning. You sniffed a little, “I love you. Stay safe, okay? I want to see you again soon.”

“You know I always am, love. I love you too. Goodnight.” He said. You both hesitated to hang up, listening to each other breathe for a moment before he hung up.

~

‘Good morning. I hope you’re okay.’

‘We still on for a call tonight?’

You texted him at 6 am this morning when you had woken up. Usually, he’d respond in a few hours, but it was almost 5 pm. It concerned you.

‘Simon? You okay?’ 

‘Si?’

‘Love?’

~

It had been a few weeks since you last spoke to Simon. This wouldn’t bother you normally, considering how busy he was with work, but this time was different. He hadn’t said anything about being unreachable the last time you called, he hadn’t sent a text alerting you to an emergency… nothing. The anxiety ate away at you, chewed at the back of your mind like a horrible migraine. You stared at your texts to him, the long string of messages from you taking up the screen. No reply. 

A few weeks turned into a few months, and you finally got a message. All it read was ‘I’m sorry.’

Wait, what? What? ‘I’m sorry’? What does that mean?

‘Simon? What does that mean?’

‘Please respond. What does that mean?’

Just as quickly as you sent those messages, they were quick to stop delivering.

~

You woke up in your clothes from the day before, your head hurting from dehydration, cheeks dried with salt. Your phone had gone dead from the countless messages you’d sent Simon, not going to bed until you passed out. You put it on the charger, getting up to shower and change clothes. By the time you got out, your phone was back on but no new notifications came in. You set it down and sighed, looking over at the wall. 

A series of pictures lined them, dating back a few years at their oldest and a few months at their newest. You and Simon were the center of each, getting stupid pictures of the two of you at the pier, in the park, at restaurants, parties, and gatherings. All of them made your brow furrow— “What did he mean by sorry?” you asked aloud, staring at the photos. Deciding to send one last text in hopes he received it, you picked up your phone.

‘Seen 3:23 am’

So he did see them. But he didn’t respond. He must have blocked you but regretted it and unblocked you when he knew you’d be asleep. 

‘Is this your way of ending things with me?’ You asked, sending the message. It went through and was immediately seen, but no reply came. You dropped your phone, grumbling to yourself.

~

A few days passed, and you were sitting on your couch staring into space. You didn’t have much energy to do anything but stare. You hadn’t eaten anything but a bag of chips, and you found yourself sipping on a warm glass of water. A knock on the door drew your attention from the nothing you were thinking of. Slowly, you got up, going to the front door and peering through the peephole. The sight beyond made your stomach drop— two soldiers stood beyond with grim looks on their faces. You hesitantly unlocked the door, opening it just enough to ask what they were there for. 

“Are you the spouse of Lieutenant Simon Riley?” One of the men asked, turning to try and peer at you through the crack in the door. You sighed, opening the door fully.

“That’s me, yes. Well, his fiancé, technically but…” You trailed off. “Sorry. Is there something I can help you boys with?” You knew the answer, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. You knew exactly what words were going to come out of his mouth, and you were already bracing for it. Your mind blurred out all the words that he said, except a few.

“…was killed in the line of duty. We’re sorry for your loss.”

You couldn’t keep yourself upright, knees buckling underneath you as the truth hit you like a bag of bricks. One of them rushed to catch you, not letting you hit the floor as you fell. Tears flowed like a broken dam and your shoulders shook. The news wreaked havoc on your mind, sending you into a swirl of agony. 

He was gone. He was gone and you didn’t have a chance to say goodbye! He left you alone with only his memory! Didn’t people normally get the honor of getting their spouses tags? Or a uniform? Or even their personal effects? This isn’t right! This isn’t right… Memories flashed through your head, showing you the life you shared with him. The way he smiled, how bright and beautiful it was despite all the devastation he’d seen. The way he laughed, how he snorted at your jokes, how all of it made your heart warm right up even when you were low. The feeling of his hands in yours now becoming a cold memory, knowing you won’t ever get to feel that warmth ever again. You won’t ever get to hear him say “I love you” again. Or sweetheart, or love, or your name. 

Was loving him worth the pain of losing him?

~~~

You woke up with a start, shooting upright with your heart racing and your head pounding. You shook as you looked around for your phone, trying to check the time. When you found it, the time read 3:57 am. You had a new text too, from Ghost. 

‘Can you have nightmares quieter? People are trying to sleep.’

It was a fresh message, sent mere minutes before you woke up. You took a shaky breath, steading your hands as you crafted a reply.

‘Like you’re any better.’ 

‘I am. I have padding on my walls for a reason.’

‘Whatever. Means sound shouldn’t come in either, or something like that.’

‘That’s not what that means.’

‘Who cares?’

‘Not you, apparently.’

‘Correct. Anyway. Its too early to go back to bed. Coffee?’

‘Sure.’

You took another breath, a lot more stable this time. You got up to get ready for the day and clean yourself up from your hangover. Eventually, you met Ghost in the kitchen and had a short conversation before Soap came in, who took over the conversation.

[secret-engima]

I have tea and a soap box let's spill something shall we (Wakfu Rant)

*sips tea*

I've been in this fandom for like. A month? more? Depends on how long it took me to work through the show. I've not actually interacted with the *fandom* at all, just the canon stuff and my own spiralling insanity. But while I'm here I might as well make enemies /s. Therefore:

Oropo is a much more compelling character deserving of redemption than Qilby. Qilby:

Had a loving literal goddess mom and a bunch of loving siblings.

A beautiful planet and thriving culture he could go anywhere and do anything on

The capability of going into space without any technological aids once he got bored of the Eliatrope world and started to suffer the effects of his eidietic memory thing. We know for a fact that Eliatropes and their dragon sibs literally don't need so much as a helmet to vibe in space, they could have gone out there any time, explored the cosmos a bit, found cool things as souvenirs and brought them back to show off to his siblings.

While this is very clumsily and blatantly retconned in s4, in s2 Qilby is very open and blatant about the fact he willingly picked a fight with Orgonax with the INTENTION of forcing his entire people to flee their world into space just so he would have more company than Shinonome. An entire world and no doubt thousands of Eliatropes and who knows what pieces of their history and culture were lost because this man, and I remind you again that s2 Qilby taunts Yugo with this fact no matter how s4 woobified him, wanted to FORCE his people to join him in space rather than just let manning the fuck up and going out there with his sister on a buddy roadtrip.

Seems very convinced that some or all of his specimens in his lab are the last of their kinds, which at best means he intentionally targeted dying species on alien worlds to capture and put into jars for literal eternity which is all kinds of animal cruelty (assuming some of them aren't sentient!!) and at worst means he is the reason they are the last of their kind because Qilby wanted his souvenir to be Unique.

when his people finally found a new world to settle on and be happy and try to reclaim their culture, he instigated a SECOND GENOCIDE, this one taking out not only their home world but literally every. living. adult Eliatrope (and dragon considering the propensity for dragons to have Eliatrope twins as stated in s1). Literally thousands if not millions of people are dead, thousands of children are orphaned and left trapped in a realm where they cannot *grow up*, the vast majority of his own siblings are dead and oh look at that. He's stuck in sensory deprivation hell. Man. If only there was some course of action he could have taken that would not have led to him fighting his own siblings, losing his arm, and getting stuck in the white void of horribleness. Man this truly is a tragedy of fate. Definitely no way he could have gone back into space without the Zinit. Definitely could not have just hopped on Shinonome's back with a packed lunch and gone out there on his own knowing he would have a loving family to come back to whenever he got lonely. Man.

upon breaking out of the White Void Of Horrible he is even more mentally unstable (and yes I know he's mentally ill during the above events, that does not excuse his actions when he is aware enough of them to gloat about them to yugo later) and immediately decides that he's going to kill this entire world in order to leave and he's going to take his siblings and the few surviving eliatrope kids with him by force.

has ANYONE other than me noticed the incredibly dark and horrific implications of him apparently planning to kill Phaerys and Yugo (and Adamai likely). Yugo says he couldn't go through with it and I'll believe that, but the fact he apparently consciously PLANNED it. Am I the only one who saw that scene and went "if he kills them, then they go back to the dofus and hatch without any memories, which means he will be able to RAISE AND GROOM THEM in the Zinit to believe that whatever Qilby says is right and do whatever he wants, like galavant in space for eternity".

S4 can retcon as much as it likes to make the Orgonax thing an accident and Qilby a mama's boy (which I freely admit was funny and I would have enjoyed in any other villain), but going off s2 and moving into s3 I REALLY cannot see why people like him more and hate Oropo.

And even if we DO count s4's retcon that made the first incident an accident the SECOND WAS STILL DAMN WELL INTENTIONAL. And Qilby is still responsible for the death of thousands twiceover on top of the death of an entire culture. All of Eliatrope history, culture, science, medicine, *music*, *STORIES*, it's all gone save for whatever the Emrub kids happen to remember (and the kids will not remember it accurately because they are children). All their architecture is destroyed, all their native cuisine is GONE and so are the ingredients to make them. All because Qilby wanted to force them into space WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO GO and HE COULD HAVE GONE ON HIS OWN AT ANY POINT WITH SHINONOME.

Speaking of Oropo! Let's look at what we know about him for comparison!

Was created by accident and is intimately aware of it.

was thrown back in time and lived most if not all of his life perpetually terrified of changing history or accidentally erasing himself and his siblings

Not only saw all of his siblings die off over the years but had their energy absorb into him in something that is no doubt extremely traumatizing to undergo. if any of you have watched the Oropo-centric ova, man for a mastermind manipulator he sure do look like he wanna cry and throw up and curl in a little ball when two of his siblings die in front of him and he is forced to assimilate their life energy.

"Supposedly" staged several key villain creation events which I personally press x to doubt because it's so clunky when mixed in with s1 and s2 lore BUT if we graciously assume that he did then gee. can't possibly be a factor of the third bullet point and his terror of erasing the timeline with his own existence can it? Can't possibly be Oropo falling into Every Heroic Time Travel Trope Ever where the hero ensures a certain event happens in order to maintain the timeline in key points hm? Even if it's a bad idea?

Has been successfully and lovingly married? partnered? mated? to a badass half-dragon wife for literal centuries and every time they are on screen together before the Dramatic Amalia Bullshit they are loving and balanced and give off so many Old Married Vibes and then THEY RESUME that dynamic for the few seconds on screen they have before they both die.

Adopts and raises hundreds of orphaned demigods who apparently were more than happy to live in the Tower and follow him throughout their lives, and in fact show no sign of abuse or manipulation in their behavior until the finale when Anakam decides it's time for everyone to think Oropo is horrible

is actively DYING when we meet him and not just dying but faced with the prospect that there is no happy ending for him. He will never see his loved ones in the afterlife, he will never know peace, he will be assimilated by his creator Yugo and at *best* be essentially digested into raw wakfu and at *worst* be a ghost stuck in the head of a man he has extremely complicated and negative feelings about for the above time travel and sibling trauma.

Adamai EXPLICITLY MENTIONS THAT OROPO IN S3 IS ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER when he goes into his more Blatant Villain Moments. Which sure, could be "the mask" falling to reveal someone "oooo evil" but isn't it far more likely he's acting out of character because he's dying and having a crisis about it.

canonically hates violence, but was so desperate to ensure his loved ones would have a better world he was willing to resort to turning himself into a suicide bomber to "create a better world". Was this a good idea? no. but ppl apparently love to point out how Qilby is mentally unstable to justify his behavior soooooo like. Why is that excuse not applicable to the guy who's literally spent his entire life being uncertain he's even real and has a right to exist but is real enough to DIE and never see the people he loves again and therefor go off the rails in his attempts to make something better for them?

in s4, the same season that makes Qilby sympathetic so if you count that as canon then by gods you better count the Oropo moments as canon, Oropo gives Yugo a reprieve from the literal life sucking torture he's in, helps him get a new outfit, and lets Bouillon play fight him (because again, Oropo hates Doing Violence) to keep him distracted and SANE while his body is being horribly tortured. In the end Yugo even confirms they are real and a part of him which is literally all Oropo wanted in his dying speech if you rewatch the finale and boil down his fury to its bullet points (he is a clone without a future and literally says stuff along the lines of just wanting to be REAL and wanting Yugo to ACKNOWLEDGE him).

For a supposed mastermind villain who wanted Yugo dead Yugo sure does seem Super Duper Alive in the months/two years/whatever timeline Ankama is using this hot second since he created the clones and was therefore *no longer necessary* for Oropo to keep alive.

At the end of the day Qilby actively chose HIMSELF over the wellbeing of others and got multiple siblings killed as well as two worlds and an entire civilization/culture wiped out. OROPO set himself on a path of similar destruction and then ACTIVELY TURNED BACK because he was faced with the choice of his ambitions or HIS LOVED ONES and he PRIORITIZED THEIR LIVES OVER HIS OWN AND HIS OWN GOALS where as Qilby not only did not do that, he didn't do it TWICE. TWICE. Oropo's death count is miniscule and he chose to sacrifice himself rather than lose the people he was doing this for and Echo knew he would make that choice, which means she also knew his love of them was genuine. You cannot compare that to Qilby and tell me Qilby is in any way better.

Okay rant over I'm going back to planning my wakfu canon rewrite and my various Echo/Oropo oneshots thank you and good day.

[lunar-writes-things]

Alright, alright. Hear me out. There is not enough boatem x reader on tumblr, so can we get a fic set in the SoB universe, like, a cute date night with all the babys? Or even like, a moment during season nine where boatem has to reassure the reader that they'll still love them even if they don't live in a big group anymore?

To make a wrong right

Pairing: Boatem X Reader

Summary: In which your preparation for a date is misinterpreted. 

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Extra notes: ooooooo- MY BABIES!!!! I so missed writing for them!!! Enjoy!

Content warnings (If any): None 

WC: 1.6k

Season Nine was exhilarating for you.

Starting off the season with Your partners (That felt wonderful to say, even after three months in the void) and making a few small bases around Spawn that held you five together, often coming together in your home since Grian was already almost always there and so were you.

But soon, the blissfulness of spawn faded, and soon blueprints began to form. 

This season? You were a God

Your wings grew large, even without the elytra, and your eyes burned so white you had to wear a white wrap around them to prevent you from hurting your lovers. 

Even so, they loved you more and more, and you loved all the more.

This season you chose snowy mountains to build on. High in the clouds to create a Greek city with pantheons for each of the twelve main gods and goddesses, with the biggest one in the middle for you. 

It was a project of size you had never done before, but nonetheless, you were excited. Not everyone could say they built a city in the clouds. 

unfortunately, with huge projects comes huge consequences. 

Like not being able to spend time with your lovers. 

They and you still visited each other, but now the task was tedious. You lived far from your partners, and it hurt your heart not to see them as much as you used to, but you knew that once you finished the inside of this build, you would bring them up as soon as possible and make sure they had their fill of time together. 

However...That would be a long time from now... 

The Boatem crew met without their angel in Grian's base. It had been a few months since they'd seen you and Mumbo had just got back from his hibernation. 

"They aren't here..." Mumbo said and slumped down 

"Yeah..." Pearl hummed and looked out, worried. "Do you think they are okay?" 

"I'm sure they're fine," Impulse spoke up and pulled Pearl into his lap before pressing small kisses to her face "They've been really absorbed into that base of theirs. Barely listened to me when I invited them."

There was a moment of silence before Scar spoke up and asked, "Do you think... Do you think they may not love us anymore?" 

The silence thickened so much that they couldn't breathe. 

"Don't say that-" Grian said, voice hoarse and thick with tears "No- Y/n is just busy. We all know how she gets when it comes to their builds and we know why." 

"Agreed..." Mumbo trailed off 

Still, Scar's question echoed through their heads even as they cheered up and continued with Mumbo's welcome home party. 

So that night, as they were all curled into each other, attempting to sleep, Grian asked "Do... Do you really think that would be the case?"

"Could it possibly have happened because we're so far from them?" Pearl whispered 

"No, It couldn't be..." Impulse trailed off. "Could it?"

The group felt the doubt sink in, and it was suffocating. 

Meanwhile, You were curled up in your own bed outside, shivering underneath the thin blanket and beautiful start that seemed to be taunting you. 

You were cold and alone and missing your partners so deeply. 

It killed you to be so far away from them, and today Mumbo had come home, and you weren't there. 

You had realized it far too late to show up for the party the boatem crew had organized, and you felt horrible for leaving your partners high and dry...

Just like you have for the last past few months...

Your heart ached at the thought of them without you, but it's not like you could complain... you did this to yourself. 

Still, it broke your heart to be away from the people you love oh so much. 

The reason you were rushing this build as fast as possible. 

And next week, it will be worth it. 

All you had to finish was the roof and the interiors, and you would be done. 

And with those final touches, you could finally prepare for something you wanted to do all season. 

Propose. 

And you needed it to be perfect. The Pantheon needed to be finished and the rooms decorated, but soon you would marry the people who made you feel whole again. 

A week later, Grian walked out of his base to find a chest filled with flowers and a letter. 

Dear Grian, 

Come to my Megabase at 8 pm

I have something I would love to talk to you and the rest of Boatem about. 

Y/n's Harmony 

He re-read the thing multiple times before he looked up at Mumbo, who had just come out of his own base a few minutes ago in horror

It seemed as if they were thinking the same thing

"ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH US?" Pearl cried as you stepped out of their base to see the woman looking up at you 

"What-?" You asked softly before the four men asked and looked desperately for Pearl until they saw her crying and froze 

"Oh, my love," You cooed, kneeling down to her level and wrapping an arm around her waist to hold her close, "Whatever made you think that?" 

But despite Pearl's sniffling, the silence was deafening, and You felt guilt absolutely crush your heart. 

"Did-" You looked up with horror in your eyes. "Did all of you think that?" 

There were hesitant nods, and tears filled your eyes

"We thought," Scar started softly, "We thought you didn't love us anymore, and we figured it was because we didn't live as close as we used to." 

"Oh, My sweet Vex," You whispered to Scar before looking at her lovers and softly saying, "My sweet Symphony, There will never be any reason for me to stop loving you. Not even death will allow me to stop loving you, for you are engraved in my soul, embedded into my heart and you are my sole reason for living." 

You open your free arm, and the other members come rushing in

You basked in their warmth, in their love. You smother them in small kisses and whisper apologies. You begged for their forgiveness for ever making them feel that way. For daring even to make them think you didn't love them.

Once they calmed down and moved into the living room of your home, they noticed it was fully finished. 

"When did you-" Impulse asked 

"Just before you all got here." You answered, "I was supposed to be more dressed up and clean, but you all came early." 

"Dressed up?" Mumbo asked, "For what?" 

Thats when you got embarrassed. 

"Well, first off, I was supposed to serenade you as you all came in," You admitted. "Then I was going to show you the awesome dinner I made, and then I had a surprise for you all." 

"A surprise?" Grian asked, and you flushed 

the rings you had planned to propose with are in your room, you had planned to stuff them in the kitchen after you cleaned up but you didn't have time to... 

welp- 

there was no time like the present. 

"Give me a second." You said and squirmed out of the cuddle pile before heading to your room and grabbing the five boxes with each of their respective boxes

Taking a deep breath, you walked out of your room and called to your lovers 

"Close your eyes for me?" 

There was a confused flurry of agreements, and you peeked out t see all f them had closed their eyes. You walked out with light steps and grabbed their hand as you gently placed each of their velvet boxes in them. 

Red for Grian

Yellow for Impulse

Dark Blue for Pearl

Black for Mumbo

and A light copper green for Scar.

Each colored box had a ring that matched them. Their signature color and personality in a ring you had made for them. 

So now, on one knee you cleared their throat and said "Open your eyes and the box." 

There were soft gasps, and you gave a soft smile. "My plan fell through quite a bit, but Overall, I'm glad I still had a chance to do this. So I ask the question, Will you marry me?" 

There was deafening silence before you were suddenly tackled by Impulse, who pressed kisses all over your face, beard scratching your skin as he nuzzled into you and whispered a million yeses 

"I, personally, would love to marry you, Y/n." Impulse said and pressed a long slow kiss to your lips that took your breath away 

With those words, it seems that it snapped whatever spell was on the rest of Boatem, and they all attacked you with hugs, Tears, and kisses with various versions of the same word

Yes

Your heart swelled as tears welled in your eyes as you kissed them back. Making sure they felt the love in your touch, you wanted to worship them like they had worshipped you early on in their relationship. 

The laughs and smiles of your partners were a beautiful symphony to your ears.

You loved your partners, and you were now able to spend the rest of your days with them. How wonderful. 

[imtrashraccoon]

Here it is...the climax! I think this chapter is actually the longest one so far as well. Got a few bonus chapters left that I'm really looking forward to writing though.

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Nightmare - Shield

Word Count: 2,964

It happened suddenly as these things do.

One moment, you were in the middle of making lunch and the next, the lights flickered before going out entirely. You stopped what you were doing and checked a few other light switches just to come to the conclusion that the power was out. Fine, you could handle this.

It was weird that it had happened so suddenly though. The weather was supposed to be perfect today, so maybe it was a freak accident? You guessed someone could've knocked over a hydro pole or a transformer could've blown up.

Then you became aware of the building shaking. You actually lost your balance and several dishes you had left on the table fell, shattering on the floor. Not wanting to have a wall collapse or have glass explode in your face, you crawled into the hallway and huddled against the archway. That was what you were supposed to do in the event of an earthquake, right? Or was it to get in the bathtub with something sturdy on top of you?

The tremors seemed to stop after a couple of minutes and your building seemed to be in one piece, but now there was another problem. You could hear sirens and what sounded like a security alarm going off. There was another sound though, one that filled you with an overwhelming feeling of terror.

A distant but steady roar.

You staggered to your feet and practically yanked your front door off its hinges, desperately hoping you were wrong.

The world outside was nothing like what it should've been. Many hydro poles were down, leaving the power lines dangling dangerously near the ground and you could see large plumes of smoke rising into the air from surrounding neighborhoods.

A couple of your neighbors apparently had the same idea as you and had congregated on the outside walkway as they tried to figure out what was wrong. You could hear murmurings of the phone lines being out, someone's pipes apparently bursting from the initial quakes, and even rumours of a gas leak.

The sky had been torn in twain, like someone had ripped a piece of paper in half. The wind was whipping your hair around and you could see many small objects being sucked up into the black void that was now the atmosphere.

Nothing came back.

You'd been through this before.

Last time you'd tried to flee the city or at least get somewhere safe. With how poorly that had gone, you weren't about to repeat the scenario and die for real this time.

What could you do when the world was coming to an end?

Nothing.

There was literally nothing you could do.

Emergency services were likely swamped as they undoubtedly tried to deal with this disaster. If the phone lines were truly down, you couldn't call anyone to find out if they were okay or if they needed help, not that you had anyone to call anyways save for people that generally disliked you. Since the outside was so dangerous, you basically had no choice but to shelter in place.

So that is what you did. Call it giving up if you wanted, but you weren't about to spend your last living moments running for your life, only to die horribly. If you were going to die, you were going to be as comfortable as was feasibly possible.

You started for your bedroom but hesitated to actually enter. Changing trajectory, you retrieved your favorite romance novel from where you'd previously left it in the living room. It was too dark and you were too frazzled to even think about reading right now, but there was another reason.

In the middle of its pages, you'd been pressing a few of the daisies, forget-me-nots, and yellow tulips Axe had brought you for your birthday months ago. You hadn't seen him for over a week and while you missed him terribly, this was the only thing you had to remind yourself of the good times you'd spent together.

You also pulled your chess set from the game cupboard. While it wasn't something Dust had given you, the fun you'd had playing with him had been enough to give the game a new sort of sentimentality. You frankly missed his random night visits and snarky sense of humor as it wasn't a void either of the others really filled.

With your valuables in hand, you finally returned to your bedroom and closed the door behind yourself to hopefully mitigate the sounds of chaos outside. Although it didn't help much and the roaring of the Void had only seemed to have grown louder.

Depositing the book and game on your bed, you pulled out your favorite pair of leggings, the very ones Killer had somehow gotten mended for you, from their place in the drawer. You slipped them on and your fingers lightly brushed over the knees and the embroidered vines with red hearts. While he had been a metaphorical thorn in your side, you had to admit that it had been fun getting to know him.

You wrapped yourself up in your blankets and clutched the book with the flowers and the chess set to your chest. You'd been trying your best to remain calm but now you could feel tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, threatening to breach the dam and pour down your cheeks. Your breath was coming in ragged gasps and you could feel your body trembling.

You didn't want to die.

You'd learned so many new things and discovered a side to yourself that you'd never dreamed possible. A bolder, more confident side that wouldn't let people walk all over you anymore. Well, you might still have to work on that, but you'd been getting better!

You had met a band of misfits, and while they'd definitely be the type of people your parents wouldn't approve of, they had quickly become close friends. You didn't have to ask, nor did you want to, but you knew in your soul that all of them would do anything to keep you safe, even kill without question. You weren't entirely sure about Nightmare yet but you knew that he wouldn't sit by if you were in danger.

So where was he now?

You'd promised to consider his deal but you'd never been able to give him your answer. Not for a lack of trying mind you but it wasn't something you could take lightly.

What he offered, was for you to drop everything and everyone you had ever known to go with him, to a completely new environment that was unlike anything you'd experienced before. You didn't know much about the multiverse or world codes, but you were vaguely familiar with the multiverse theory.

The main issue you had with his deal was that you didn't know what would happen to you if you accepted it. The multiverse was apparently massive and home to countless people, some of which could actually hop between worlds like Nightmare and his boys. It was boggling to think about but seemed completely normal to them. A boring person like you had no place in a world like that.

You couldn't help but sob as the apartment complex trembled from another series of tremors. You were so scared. You didn't want to die!

In your despair, you let out an anguished scream for the one person who could possibly come find you. "Nightmare!"

But nobody ca-

The room temperature seemed to grow chilly and the shadows swirled before coalescing into the familiar shape of the god of negativity himself. His cyan eyelight seemed to be burning brighter than you'd ever seen it and his tentacles practically writhed with pent up adrenaline. He only needed to glance at your trembling form to understand what was going on and he rapidly moved to the edge of your bed.

"Are you hurt?" he asked in a low voice.

"No," you croaked, "I'm just so glad to see you..."

He exhaled slowly through his teeth and seemed to focus on a specific spot on the ceiling. "You've probably already figured it out, but your world is in the middle of collapsing. I estimate you maybe have a few minutes before everything disappears and is reclaimed by the Void."

His gaze snapped to your own and seemed to pierce into your very soul before he spoke again. "Will you accept the deal and come with me?"

You opened your mouth to respond when a rumbling crash cut you off. In a fraction of a second, several things happened. Nightmare's tentacles snatched you up. You were coated in fine layer of drywall dust. Nightmare used his tentacles to shield you from the roof caving in.

The dust caused you to cough violently when you accidentally breathed it in and when you managed to recover, you found yourself clinging to his body. He was clutching you against his ribcage and continuing to shield you with both himself and his tentacles.

The roof was gone and the sky was now completely black. The sheer force of the wind threatened to blow you away and you could barely hear yourself think above the roaring of the black.

Nightmare's gaze flicked to the darkness above and then back to you. He appeared completely unharmed and only slightly dusty from the rubble, but the ooze that covered his body seemed to be rapidly absorbing it.

"Yes! I accept! Nightmare, please...take me away from here..." you shouted above the clamor of destruction.

He didn't even hesitate.

His tendrils wrapped around your body, basically binding you against him. You just managed to close your eyes before the roar of the Void was replaced with dead silence. The wind had completely ceased blowing too and a numb feeling began to spread over your body.

The numbness persisted for far longer than any teleport had before and yet you didn't notice. In fact, the only thing you could feel besides Nightmare's hold on your body, was the way the box for your chess set and the edges of your book was cutting into your arms.

You felt his hold loosen and the temperature equalize out into a more comfortable one. You could hear laughter from somewhere nearby and the crackling of a fireplace.

"hey, the boss is back!" Killer's unmistakable tenor voice rang out. "what happened for you to leave so suddenly...?"

You quietly glanced over in the direction of his voice. In one of the few times you'd ever seen him speechless, Killer had an odd look on his skull as he seemed to take in your distraught appearance.

Moments later though, he tilted his skull and flashed his trademark smirk at you. "hey angel~ long time no see..." he purred.

Nightmare made a tisk sound and leveled him with a stern frown. "She's slipping into shock. Tell the others she'll be staying and to get things ready." His tone of voice took on a much more commanding tone that you'd never heard before as he spoke.

It was quite effective though or at least you thought it was. Killer's permanent grin widened slightly and he gave a curt nod.

"sure thing." Before turning away, he winked at you in a mildly suggestive way, but knowing him, he was only half serious about it. This guy could barely take things seriously even in a situation as dire as this one it seemed.

Nightmare began carrying off into another part of the...castle? Everything seemed to be made of gray stone and the ceilings were vaulted, but you couldn't be sure. It would certainly suit someone as regal and dramatic as him though.

He'd mentioned you were going into shock. Was that what you were feeling? Sure, your heart was still beating like crazy and your breathing seemed to be shallow, but you didn't think you were actually in danger. You did feel kinda cold, but in a numb sort of way, and maybe you were a bit lightheaded? It was too complicated to think about. You just wanted to go to sleep and wake up to discover that this had all been another bad dream...

You briefly heard Killer relay the news to the others but he didn't get to finish his sentence before they apparently decided to see for themselves.

Nightmare stopped walking and half turned to look behind him. You could feel his grip tighten around your body in an almost possessive way. "No, you'll only overwhelm her," he nearly growled.

You could see Axe and Dust standing barely six feet away, having likely teleported as soon as they found out you were here.

Axe's deep red eyelight had shrunk down significantly to the size of a dime and other than his stiff posture, he was giving off serious kicked puppy vibes. He went to take a step forward, only for Dust to catch his arm and stop him. Although you knew if Axe was truly motivated to get to you, Dust wouldn't have been able to hold him back like that.

The giant of a skeleton clenched his fists and made a quiet sound of frustration. "you'll take good care of her, right?" he asked Nightmare in a low tone that not so subtly sounded like a threat.

"Of course, you can spend time with her all you want once she's calmed down."

Axe let out a heavy sigh and nodded. Turning his attention to you, his gaze softened significantly although his smile was rather tight. "i'll make ya somethin' nice if ya feel like eatin' later, lil' chip," he murmured.

Dust had been silent throughout the whole interaction, although he was practically searing a hole through your head with how intensely he was staring at you. He hadn't even broken eye contact to stop Axe from upsetting Nightmare. You couldn't read what he was thinking at all which was pretty concerning.

He remained in place, just staring at you, as Axe turned to leave. Nightmare let out a low warning growl which seemed to get his attention at least.

Dust tugged his hood tighter over his skull and turned to leave, although not without making a comment of his own. "...you'll be okay, bean." He disappeared immediately afterwards to who knows where.

Nightmare sighed and continued onto his original goal. He ended up bringing you into a frankly extravagant bedroom and only then did he let go of you. He set you on the bed, wrapped you in one of the softest blankets you'd ever felt, and even propped you up with pillows until you were comfortable. At some point, he set the things you'd managed to bring with you on the bedside table.

"This will be your room," he finally said. "You may decorate it as you see fit but do let me know if you need anything."

You weakly nodded.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and took one of your hands in his own, running his thumb along your knuckles. "There is one more thing I need to do, my dear."

He paused for a moment to let his words register. "You are still considered an incode and technically bound to your old world. For your safety, I need to sever the connection between your soul and the old code, which will classify you as an outcode. I would explain more, but I suspect you're not exactly in much of a state to process all of it."

When you frowned, he lightly stroked your cheek with his knuckles in an attempt to reassure you. "It's okay, I'll be as gentle as I can," he said softly. "Just relax and trust me."

Well, now you were certainly feeling the confusion that apparently came with shock, so it was a good thing he wasn't about to info dump on you. It didn't help with making you feel any less anxious though, as you had no idea what severing the connection meant or entailed.

"Okay... I trust you."

Nightmare nodded and moved his hand from your cheek to your chest while keeping hold of your hand with his other. He focused for a moment and you started to feel that familiar pressure before your soul floated from your chest.

It was still so beautiful.

"This might hurt a little," he hummed.

Before you even had the chance to protest, he grasped your soul, causing you to gasp at the suddenness. His cyan eyelight burned brighter for a second and he abruptly yanked your soul slightly away from you.

It hurt more than a little but even spraining your ankle hurt more than severing this had. While you could feel the stinging of tears that threatened to fall, you managed to blink them away.

Nightmare gently guided your soul back into your chest and smiled at you. "There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he murmured in that velvety tone you'd come to love.

He moved a few strands of hair behind your ear, his claws affectionately brushing against your skin as he did so. He briefly glanced towards the closed bedroom door before looking back at you.

"I think I'm going to keep you to myself for a bit, my dear. Just until I know you'll be okay after all that excitement." As he spoke, he laid down next to you and wrapped you up in his tendrils, pulling you against his ribcage.

You couldn't have protested even if you wanted to. It was probably a good thing he wasn't about to leave you alone as he seemed to have the power to completely calm you down whenever you were upset. You were going to sleep for a while though.

Maybe things would be better when you woke up.

[stale-cornflakes]

Beady Eyes MAP- Part 7

Process video ↓

AYYYY back at it with another Rainworld map! I had a lot of fun figuring this one out! When I first started this I had no idea how to draw scugs and it definitely showed through the lost it all map." But this gave me a great opportunity to experiment with some squash and stretch in a few shots.

Deep dive into the process under cut!

Walking into this I expected the part to be about 5 seconds long. It ended up being more than double at 13 seconds-

This Map was a blast to work on. My fellow participants are a pleasure to work with, and communication between everyone is top tier. Everyone is so nice, and it's an overall pleasant experience. As for the creation of my part itself: My part is to line up with the previous. Due to this, I started the intro with Survivor's side profile last on the storyboard. That way, I waited till the part 6 owner had at least a sketch or storyboard down in order to line them up.

I always jot down my first thought on ibis with my finger and animate on a separate program. You can see it in the process where the aspect ratio is all off, haha. The first iteration is always rough; never taking more than an hour.

In this version there are 2 key differences.

1: Monk shakes their head and follows after Surv.

2: There is a Karma bump from a successful cycle. Monk then wakes up from hibernation, signaling that this was a dream.

While I was thinking of using this, I did not for a better flow.

Once this was completed, I actually took a week break off from art and animation to prevent burn-out. However, with that the wip check was coming up. I was not concerned about it because I had work to show. But, Cioror (the host) was so amazing as to compile everyone's parts into a proto-map for the wip check. I was not aware of this and spent the day sketching out the second sketch with proper dimensions. I posted the adobe sketch 2 minutes before the video premiered, so there was still the small dimensions of Ibis there lol.

Onto the line art and coloring. There is a reason why in the process video I did not separate those two. It's because when working on Lost it all, I found that putting the two on separate layers is HORRIBLE. ABSOLUTELY GOD AWFUL NEVER AGAIN. So, instead, I would go straight to the line art and make fill lines out of frame to color.

This resulted in some frames getting a little messy behind the scenes.

Another thing I considered was rather than the characters being in a void, they would be in The Void. Complete with an animated background. This was quickly stopped in order to save my sanity, and to line up with the previous part.

In my animations I almost NEVER let a character stay completely still. When Idle I always have them alternate between at least 3 frames. It makes it feel like the character is breathing, and not just a static image. It also just feels right to do that. 'Tis my animation style.

The final stretch was cleaning up the lines and making sure the scugs were on model. During this time, Monk's face became wider, and their head sharper. This is also the part of the process where most of the squash and stretch was applied.

Finally, was simply adding the filter gradient on multiply. Basically, wrapping the animation up in a little bow 👍

overall, I've been working on and off on this project for two months.

[sloanesallow]

Happy New Year

Happy is a relative term. I'm hopeful that 2025 will be kinder to me, after a not-so-great 2024. Sure, there were a lot of great moments this year, but it's been difficult for me to be in a positive head-space lately.

It does feel good to get it all out though, so here goes:

The year started off well enough.

I finished writing MMHS, and started my next project, The Call of the Void. I wrote for almost all the monthly writing events on the OHL server, and was keeping up with my friend's fanfics.

Somewhere over the summer, I developed a horrible case of imposter syndrome and was struggling to get past it. It's still something I fight every day. It was easy to push aside and fight through, but then in November, my personal life fell into shambles.

My cat, whom I've had since he was born, died just shy of his 18th birthday. He had a stroke on 11/4, and then just didn't recover, passing on 11/13. The grieving process hasn't been easy, and I still find myself incredibly devastated by his loss. Nothing in my life has felt normal since he died, and unfortunately, I have not received much sympathy from my family, who believe I should be well past the sadness by now.

Then I got sick with the flu, and it was the sickest I've been in years, leaving me bedridden for a few days, and even two weeks later, I still have a horrible cough. During this time, I realized that I don't have anyone in my life (physically) that I can rely on for help. I've always prided myself on being independent, but sometimes you want to be cared for, and when there's nobody there, it can lead to a kind of loneliness that is unshakable. I tried to reach out and ask for help but was closed off or shut down, so I retreated. I've been trying to keep the few (offline) friendships and connections I have with people alive, but the effort isn't being reciprocated, so I've given up. Knowing they will likely not notice or care that I've disappeared from their life brings a different kind of heartbreak. My body and mind were broken down and it threw me into an even deeper depression.

I'm not one to linger in depressive states, but this melancholia has lingered. I fell into a head-space where every little thing makes me sad or irrationally angry, and all I do is cry (when previously, I cry maybe once a year). Trying to fight through it is a monumental task; it's hard when you can recognize your own toxic behaviors and try to correct them. It leaves you trapped in a cycle of fighting your own thoughts, trapped without seeing a way out. I stopped doing anything except work. I haven't really been taking care of myself, and have been self-isolating so I don't bring others down with my dark cloud.

All this to say, I've also lost my creative spark. I've lost all my confidence in writing, due to this depression, and haven't been able to crawl out of the hole just yet. I really tried to last month, but I still felt empty. I hate it about myself, but I crave validation, and when it's not received in the way I hope, I shut down. I feel like I've been pouring my heart and soul into stuff so it hurts when there is little to no feedback. I'm grateful, and will always be grateful for the people that engage with my work, but it's hard. I never want to be an obligation and want people to be here because they want to, not because they feel they have to. Most days, I feel like a black sheep in fandom spaces, or at least like the odd one out in writing groups. I know this is my own evil brain but there are a lot of times when I feel unwelcome, or forgotten, or an afterthought. I know I cannot expect to be welcome everywhere, or liked by everyone, but it still hurts me deeply, especially when it's obvious I'm not wanted. Growing up, I've never been anyone's first choice, so this mentality is hard to shake.

Okay, so now that all the bad feelings are out in the open, you know why I've been so MIA the last few months. I really am trying, though most days are spent just trying to exist. I'm searching for little bouts of joy from wherever I can find it.

Thank you to everyone who has been here this year, supporting me and my manic brain. I'm grateful for the friends I've made, the art I've shared, and my place in fandom.

What I hope for 2025:

Write, of course. Without being too harsh on myself. Write for myself.

Read more, and support the community I love.

Take more social media breaks, to better my mental health.

Be kinder to myself.

May you all have a happy and safe New Year. 💛✨

[solar-sunnyside-up]

I feel so fucking helpless. since this is anonymous i'm gonna come right out and say it, I'm a minor, and because of that there is so fucking little I can do about anything, especially with conservative parents and it just feels like I'm constantly failing to live up to my own expectations and aspirations but also I understand that as a legal child it makes sense there's things that I can't do but it also just feels like massive fucking excuse.

The only activism I can do is from behind a fucking screen under a fake name by writing to politicians who i'm 90% never read my emails anyway but I still have to write cause I need to show that people do care about these issues and at the same time I can't vote on them I can't donate to causes I'm just suck screaming into the void and nothings there to scream back.

I barely talk to my friends about this because they're also unsure of the world we live in yeah, but their parents are progressive and listen to them and I don't wanna drag them down plus I've tried to get them more into this stuff and it just doesn't work and I don't know what to do about it and I can't talk to the school counselor about this cause I don't know her political leanings and in my experience you can't trust an adult with the location of your Halloween candy you really think she's gonna not snitch?

I just have to watch and listen and stay quiet about the adults in my life's actions cause if I speak up I risk losing the one route of activism I have.

I'm sorry if this is too long, or too personal, I don't know where else to talk about this. Sorry

Don't be sorry. Never, sprout, never be sorry for feeling anything but particularly the rage and horror you feel. It's well earned.

All of this is exactly how I felt as a teen too. Isolated, alone, helpless under capitalism and being a minor is it's own oppressed class within every other oppressed group your likely apart of. You have every right to feel this way. But if I can give one speck of hope to you? Take it or leave it of course, but..

I have also been writing emails like crazy and gentle parenting ppl in goverment. I've also heard back from almost all of them after 6+ months. Several things that the writing campaigns where trying to complish have actually gone through! Mainly the transit ones. We managed to revive an entire transit project in my city and got several more votes towards rent caps as examples within the last few months. Ppl are forced to read it wheather or not they reply, so do whatever you want and have fun where you can.

That being said, personally I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't get out of the nihilism hole until after my teens. I tried and tried to make the jump to absurdist theory but my brain just wasnt baked enough yet if you wanna place to vent or some books/music recs for it tho feel free to dm! There is a horrible but small change you won't stop feeling like this until they are over.

[qulizalfos]

fear street / byler au --- masterpost!

a slow pull, a seismic drift by qulizalfos on ao3

The fucking end. The close of the book. The final shaky breath in, of smokey, acrid air before everything fades away. The fall and every scattered sensation that comes with it— shock like your heart just climbed into the back of your throat and made a home there, and the equally horrible acceptance, the knowing. Standing so close to the edge might not have been worth it, after all, the last thought before the impact. The end. It’s been a long time coming. all good things come to an end, but there really are very few permanences that don't feel like curses. the trick is learning to survive it all, and maybe you'll find yourself a life in the rubble. is all i have to say for myself. fear street - byler au, with mike and will as sam and deena.

chapter 1: day one - you wonder if you can even be seen (from so far away) chapter 2: day two - if nothing matters, man that's a relief chapter 3: day three - hang on until it drags you under chapter 4: day four - if the void becomes a bore this list's gonna update as it goes on!! i'll pin it to the top of my blog, and reblog it when it updates.

[fic/chapter titles from satanist by boygenius :D]

for @bylerween2023 ofc!! and also shout out to everyone who's shown an interest in the miwips over the past few months (bee i am shaking you by the shoulders<3) MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH

pls be sure to check tws under the cut and in the notes of the fic itself, and happy reading!!!

TWS taken from the masterpost, plus some of my own: body horror, death, flesh, fire, gore, gun, weapons, homophobia, horror, hunting, immolation, injury, injuries, jump scare, knife, knives, murder, stalking, serial killers, self destructive behavior, self destruction, self harm, trauma, violence, violent imagery, violent death, mentions of violent death, vomit, weapon, wounds, and a lot of blood.

ok cool! that's it! happy reading and happy hallobylerween!!!!!!!!!!

[coolcattime]

For Pride Month, my own little unhealthy/toxic yuri au version of the Season One ending and events after ^-^

Inspired by this Capsize animation but like made gay now.

Capsize awakens with an aching body confused as to how she's currently alive and why her prison has been changed. She sits up, having to try twice as a horrible pain shots through her midsection from a wound she doesn't remember receiving. And she finds herself inside a giant cage floating over the void in the end. The whole thing is empty save for herself, and her surroundings other than the void is just an endless forest of chorus trees. It's as she's sitting, trying to recall any fuzzy memory of how she got there, she feels a presence behind her. Suspecting Dianite, she doesn't turn until she hears her name spoken softly and realises how wrong her assumption is.

There is Ianite, having been freed a few hours before, who greets her with a sad smile. Capsize has no idea whether to be elated that her friend has finally been freed, concerned by her expression, or just confused by the situation in general. But the two end up hugging as the happiness wins out, before Capsize questions why she's still imprisoned. Ianite tells the story: when the others came to free them both, Dianite appeared to fight the champions - to be expected - but he had begun the fight by summoning the already weak and dying Capsize and ran her through.

Once Tom had killed the god, the group had rushed to Ianite's temple hoping she would be able to heal Capsize as time was clearly running out. Instead they had found one last trick from the now deceased god. The prison that Ianite was in has a binding curse, it must always hold a prisoner. To free Ianite, someone must replace her. Despite her own protests, the goddess knowing that the prison would heal the captain and leave her imprisoned, the champions chose to save Ianite by replacing her with Capsize.

Capsize doesn't want to believe her at first, but Ianite adds details that she originally hadn't wanted to mention. That Redbeard had begged to be the one swapped instead. That while all the champions had given their opinion, it had ultimately been Jordan that made the decision. And Capsize's disbelief turns to bitter horrible betrayal. Because if she had been there, awake and able to make the decision, she knew she likely would've chosen this fate to save Ianite. That she would've sacrificed her own freedom for her goddess'. But having her choice robbed from her hurts. She ends up sobbing as Ianite holds her, the goddess promising to do everything in her power to break the enchantments on the prison.

And though Ianite felt guilty for her tears, she was glad that neither side had questioned her. That the champions hadn't questioned the failed revival leading to her being a feral undead. That her messenger hadn't questioned that she had been sacrificed by her friends. Now she had Capsize to herself, away from any harm. Away from her brother and his servants who had wished her dead. Away from the champions who had brickered over her like a prize to be won. Away from the island of people that had doubted her when she had laid down everything her goddess. No one knew where she was so no one could harm her again. Well, she supposed Mianite knew, but her brother wasn't exactly going to do anything about it so Ianite saw this as protected enough.

Not a day goes by where Ianite doesn't visit Capsize. All ‘attempts’ to break her bindings were fruitless, and the pirate knew she was likely stuck for the long haul. A fact that became scarier as she realised as wasn't aging (or at least that her aging was incredibly slowed). But Ianite is a constant that she's glad for. The goddess provides her anything she desires, enough comforts that she can almost forget that she's stuck in a prison. Ianite will often tell her of the world outside, about rapid changes happening to the world at large. About Ianerea rebuilding, the survivors hailing her as the hero that saved their goddess. She wished she could actually see this for herself, but hearing the words from Ianite is enough for her to cling to. And the two grow close - the kind of close that Capsize had quietly dreamed of before. The two are happy, the world (and the champions now outside of it) remains oblivious to Capsize's survival.

And it seems this is the way things will stay until a goddess from another world dreams through her other self's eyes and writes about her dream of visiting a caged woman. Until Lord Mianite sees suspicion in the eyes of one of the new champions and once again gifts directions towards a cage in the sky.

[concerningwolves]

oh my god i found out that my DNS record wasn't properly configured so all the emails I sent from my work email address using ProtonMail were usually being rejected and weren't going through. which is a profoundly horrible thing to realise because suddenly all those prospective clients and job applications I sent in the last few months that I thought had ghosted me....... had maybe not ghosted me at all.

I've started sending followup emails to explain the situation and make sure nobody thinks I just rudely ignored them. please let my email find you my emails have been lost and wandering scared and lonely in The Void for months

[skzinka]

“ BREACH OF CONTRACT ”

timeline : january, 2022

summary : this kind of decision isn't easy, but maybe it was necessary. ft. lua of ateez

word count : 2.4k>

looking at her reflection in the mirror, inka found her face simply repulsive. her eyes seemed dull, lifeless, her pale face was like that of the vampires in the movies — she could easily have entered enhypen's blood suckers concept alongside calista. a nervous laugh escaped her lips before she rubbed her eyes with the back of her sleeve, today was a special day. it had been a month since the day she'd last set foot in the dormitory, a month that she hadn't replied to the countless messages from her members, a month she hadn't set foot in the agency, prompting her manager to put her on temporary hiatus. of course, many questions had been asked, to which she kindly replied that if they wanted her back, they'd have to leave her alone for a while — what they did, surprising as it was. but now, she had to take matters into her own hands and decide what to do with her future.

so, she slipped on her shoes, despite the incessant sighs escaping from her cold lips. « are you sure you don't want me to come with you? » — the voice behind her back asked softly, drawing a small smile from her as she shook her head negatively, « it's okay. i have to do it myself. »

rising to her feet and pivoting towards lua, the latter moved towards her, slipping her arms around her best friend's figure. « whatever decision you make, i'll always be by your side, okay? » inka felt her heart warming in her chest as she shook her head positively this time, « thank you yuehua, for everything you did to me. i couldn't have stood it without you. » — slightly apart, observing the sincerity in each other's eyes, lua placed her hands against her best friend's cheeks, pressing them lightly, « no matter what kalaya, you're an amazing woman. » a smile appeared on the brunette's face and she nodded, slipping one last time into the arms of the only person who had been able to reassure her properly.

after a brief farewell, she finally set foot outside, hurrying to her manager's car that would lead her straight to the hell she had previously refused to return to. buckling her belt, she sighed again, biting her lower lip nervously, her leg bouncing with stress — glancing in the rear-view mirror, her manager suddenly spoke up, in a voice filled with concern, « how do you feel? »

glancing at the driver before hiding in the hood of the sweatshirt she was wearing, inka shrugged her shoulders, staring at the void through the car window, « horrible. i already feel sick just being in the car. »

the situation was much more delicate than he had thought. and worst of all, he had no idea what to do to cheer her up — so he decided simply to leave her alone until he reached the agency, concentrating on the road ahead. inka thought it would be a good idea to turn her phone back on, all this to deal with numerous long-ignored notifications. glancing quickly at a few of them, she began to feel so bad that an urge to vomit gripped her stomach. how could she ignore her caring friends like that? heartbreaking messages from jeongin and jisung stabbed her in the heart, « no wonder why he's so good at writing sad love songs.. » — she said to herself, trying to ignore the fact that she felt guilty, ashamed and didn't know how to face them after all this time. rubbing the tip of her nose to prevent the tears stinging her eyes from rolling down her cheeks, she locked her phone before tucking it away in her pocket, continuing to ignore the mountain of problems piling up on her back.

after long minutes of driving, which seemed like unbearable seconds to her, the car finally stopped in the underground parking lot of jyp. she stared out the window for a long time, dreading every step she took into the agency — she was completely tetanized, an unknown fear seeping into her every muscle. « you don't have to go, you know.. » announced her manager, who was far too preoccupied with the girl's mental health to leave her in such condition. but despite inka's uncertainty, she had to be brave and keep going. she had to take a step forward in her future for her own good. with a trembling hand, she slowly opened the car door, without glancing at the older man in front of her, « it's okay. i have to do it. » she announced as she stepped outside the car, followed closely by the manager who had promised not to leave her alone for a second.

staring at his shoes as she walked, doing her best not to make eye contact with anyone in the agency, inka hurried to the main lift, climbed up the stairs and stopped in front of her superior's office. but suddenly, she seemed frozen in place, unable to make the slightest movement. she had thought long and hard before coming to that decision, ruminating in lua's bed for nights without sleeping a wink, so why was she hesitating now? the decision was the best one for her, for her health, for her well-being, for her future — so why was it so hard to open the door in front of her?

her breathing quickened as she took a step backwards, her hand trembling as if the temperature were in the negative degrees. her heart seemed to panic, she lost all her means, her manager seemed to be talking to her, but she couldn't hear anything, her voice was completely muffled. tears began to roll down her cheeks uncontrollably, she wanted to scream and vent all the frustration that was consuming her inside. and just as she was about to collapse on the ground, a voice managed to infiltrate beyond the sound barrier she had unconsciously created for herself. instantly pivoting towards the latter, she found herself face to face with her youngest member.

« jeon..gin..? » she barely managed to say, before the young man literally pounced on her. his arms clutched around her, one of his hands positioned at the back of her head as he camouflaged inka's face in his sweatshirt, helping to calm her panic attack. the girl's hands clung to his top, gripping it as if it were her only means of survival — the tears on her cheeks redoubled in intensity, as if she'd kept all the pain in the world inside her, and could finally let it all out. it was horrible to see, a scene capable of distressing anyone, inka's pain was so palpable. « i'm so sorry, » she sobbed, shaking her head against jeongin's sweatshirt, « i'm unforgivable. »

« what are you saying? » he replied softly, pulling away slightly to observe her face attentively, brushing her cheeks with his fingers to wipe away the tears. « you're talking nonsense. i know you needed some time after all that's happened. »

nodding gently, she tried as best she could to control the tears that were rolling down her cheeks — without success. jeongin didn't know what to do to console her, so he simply decided to hold her close to him, laying her ear against his chest so that she could hear the beating of his heart. and after a few minutes, the gesture seemed to work, because kalaya stopped crying, but didn't move away from the young boy. « thank you innie, you're always what i need when my heart aches. » — as if it were the first time she'd ever said something like that to him, jeongin felt the tips of his ears grow hot, his cheekbones too.

as she lifted her face to his, tossing back the few frivolous strands of his hair, a small smile finally appeared on his lips, a smile jeongin hadn't seen in a long time. this simple fact warmed his heart, and he couldn't control his desire to hold her again — so he pulled her against him again, squeezing her as if his life depended on it, as if it were the last time he'd ever see her. inka slipped her arms firmly around him, holding him close to her heart and enjoying the reassuring warmth she had missed so much. thanks to him, she thought of nothing, none of the little problems of her life.

but she was soon brought back to reality.

« you're coming back with us, right? » he asked suddenly, his fox-like eyes shooting straight to the girl's heart. just as she was about to answer, the door to her right suddenly opened, revealing the director, who was relieved to see inka there at last, « ahh, kalaya. come, we need to talk. »

reluctantly letting go of jeongin's hand, inka offered him a gentle smile before stepping inside the office, the door closing behind her. just as she was about to take a seat on one of the chairs in front of her, her eyes fell on an all-too-familiar silhouette : in the second empty seat was none other than bang chan. not wanting to make a scandal of herself in front of her superior, inka sat silently, staring at the floor. what's he doing here?, she asked herself, when she was supposed to have a private meeting without any of her members.

« i've asked bang chan to come, since he's stray kids' leader, he needs to know your final decision. » a certain bitterness crept into your muscles — you wanted to face this situation alone. « so.. fans and stray kids' members have been waiting for you for a month now. we've given you a break, as you requested. but we'd like to know what's going on now. »

inka did not look up and seemed to reflect for a moment. her head was a mess : with so many questions and decisions to be made, like the incessant lyrics of a broken record. before she walked through that door, she had a very clear idea of what she wanted her future to be : a decision that suited her perfectly and that she had thought long and hard about. but now everything seemed to blend together, as if she could no longer say what she really wanted, like an invisible barrier in front of her mouth. cracking her knuckles nervously, she finally looked up at her director, ready to speak — but a voice suddenly overtook hers, « no matter what you're about to say, just know that i'm sincerely sorry and that i'm ready to pay the consequences of my actions. »

it was definitely not what she needed to hear right now — she didn't want to hear him talk at all. the ceo's confused eyes juggled between her face and bang chan's, incomprehension visible on his facial features. but she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to explain it, she just wanted to forget it. then, completely ignoring the leader's words, she rose from her seat and approached the desk, placing a piece of paper on its surface, « i want to cancel my contract. »

she could feel two pairs of eyes bubbling towards her, as if lasers were piercing her skull. inka cleared her throat, trying to ignore the boy fidgeting in panic behind her, while concentrating on the tetanized face of her superior. « what? » he asked almost too faintly, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. he probably thought she had some nerves, demanding such a thing after a month's absence — but kalaya intended to remain firm in her decision, and crossed her arms against her chest.

« you heard me right. but.. » — but now she wanted to talk with him alone. « can i talk with you all alone? » she asked, leaning over the desk. the older man nodded and dismissed chan, who reluctantly left the room, casting one last apologetic glance at his younger member.

once the door was locked, inka swiveled back to her superior, who seemed perfectly attentive to her next words. « i want to cancel my actual contract to make a new one. » suddenly, the panic on his face lifted, giving way to an expression of relief, as if she'd just removed a thorn from his side. a wry smile appeared on her lips, feeling much better that he seemed receptive to her request.

« you scared me, for a second i thought you wanted to leave the agency. » inka shrugged, settling into one of the chairs facing the desk, « oh, believe me, i thought about it. » the director raised an eyebrow, observing her with a questioning gaze.

« until a few days ago, i wanted to leave stray kids and the agency. but i thought long and hard about it, and after mature reflection, i've decided to stay, but with a few extra conditions. » a light laugh left the lips of her superior, who leaned over his desk and crossed his arms, « you've got a lot of nerve, you know that? »

kalaya nodded, a wry smile painting her lips. of course, she knew that discussing her contract with the director was a delicate matter, especially when you know that you could be out of a job at the snap of a finger — but she'd rather get fired for having tried than to have given up of her own free will the dream she'd fought so hard to achieve. which was why she had decided to lay her cards on the table and set her conditions, despite the risks involved.

she was a flower in full bloom, ready to weather any storm.

« i know. but i want to continue to be a member of stray kids, but only if people listen to me and treat me with respect. » — and she was absolutely right. the older man nodded, evidently ready to listen to her requests. so with a winning smile, kalaya explained in detail the conditions she hoped would be validated, not imagining for two seconds what was happening on the other side of the door.

« is she really leaving? »

« ..yes. »

✧⠁taglist : @invuwrld @writerblock-sucks @mynameisnotlaura @alyszaen @felixsbrat @alixnsuperstxr

[mountainstogo]

This is going to be a long rambling post about nothing and everything. I have a lot of feelings that I want to yell into the void

Hmm where to start..

My dad ruined Christmas again. It’s more complicated than that but I am very close to just going no contact? Very low contact? I don’t think I can go much lower, we speak twice a year. Once on my birthday and once around the holidays for him to inevitably disappoint me. Idk why I actually thought this year would be any different.

Anyway I love this stupid holiday and I don’t refuse to let this man completely destroy my joy. My roomies and I decorated and the house looks really cute, although it’s missing a few things still.

I’m feeling pretty ok on money?? (Such a stark contrast to this time last year) I can afford to buy people presents this year and splurge on a few things myself. Turns out it may be a very quiet Christmas and there aren’t that many people to buy presents for. So I might spoil my roomies and friends and s. I’m also motivated to donate and collect food/clothes to bring to displaced migrant families that have been bused to a major city near me.

So maybe Christmas isn’t totally ruined. But my relationship with my dad certainly is.

I pupsat for my boss in his nice house last week. He lives in the foothills and his house and property were just gorgeous. I could hike up a mountain right from his backyard.

Complicated feelings about work rn. I fluctuate between thinking everyone hates me and I’m failing and doing a horrible job; to maybe I’m actually doing ok and I need to cut myself some slack. Regardless, I’ve been super anxiety ridden over work and I need to figure out how to manage that better.

Last update is in re: to weight gain and fitness stuff. I’ve gained weight (around 136 this morning but that might still be turkey day and alcohol bloating from the weekend). Anyway I’ve been coming in around 132-134 for the past few months. My lowest weight was 122lbs (that was too low and prob not sustainable); I think I feel my best at around 128-130, so I could lose a few lbs and I know my diet is the culprit. I don’t want to obsess over the numbers since I look much different now than the last time I was 136. I’ve gained a lot of muscle mass and need to just focus on eating more protein and less processed foods. That’s all, the numbers on the scale will do whatever they do 🤷🏻‍♀️

Everything feels messy and busy. There are too many things to do and the days are too short. But I’ve had really good times too, first day skiing!!! A lovely Friendsgiving, quiet times at the barn.

[yolowritter]

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to part 2 of this Au! So, I'll put forth a quick recap from last time and let everyone know what's happening in the rest of the story, yeah? Cool, now let's move right along!

Disclaimer: I’ve been gone from Tumblr for a while now, due to myriad of technical issues + prioritizing AO3 and IRL work. It’s a long story, but not to worry, I am now back and will actually remember to post frequently. Anyway, on with the AU!

As a reminder: The premise here is that Lila's grandmother (from the embassy mom's family, since until they explain this 27 mothers thing Lila has going on I am going to ignore it) once lived in Paris in the 1940s, and befriended Fu and Marianne as they were hiding the Miraculous away. Long story short, during that scene in S5 where they're escaping, Grandma Rossi gets the Fox Miraculous and helps them do so, eventually returning to Italy before Fu has deemed it safe enough to return for it. Many years later, she ends up revealing Trixx to Lila and passes the Fox onto her when her granddaughter says she's going to Paris, and tells her to be very, *very* careful with it. Lila immediately proceeds to nearly out herself with the Volpina incident. But don't worry, it's fine, she manages to get out of that situation without too much trouble. Now she's offered to be Adrien's friend, and so has Marinette. In the meantime, she's also waiting for a good oppurtunity to transform again, and try to convince Ladybug and Chat Noir that she is not a supervillain. For details, check the previous post.

Anyway, onto the rest of the show! Things stay the same for a few episodes, or...almost. Because Lila is friends with Adrien now, and by proxy Marinette who is putting her crush aside to make sure Lila isn't getting him in any trouble by also being Adrien's friend, our beloved...anti-heroine? Yeah, sure, why not? Our beloved anti-heroine happens to also get to know Alya and Nino failrly well, discreetly using Alya to get info on Ladybug and Chat Noir under the guise of helping with her blog, and Nino just for the playlists. Listen, Lila's taste in music ain't the most varied, so if there's good tunes in Nino's lists, she wants to have them too. Anyway, her friendship with the group develops more and more as she basically tries to be on her best behavior. Now...like I said last time, Lila isn't exactly the most moral person, or has any problems about absolutely (verbally) clobbering someone (meaning Chloe, most of the time) who is annoying her. And since Paris' Perfect Princess™ also happens to be a bully and screams at the same amount of decibels as a banshee before *anyone* has had their morning coffee, Lila joins up with Marinette and Alya to make sure nobody puts up with Chloe's BS.

As a consequence of this, she develops genuine friendships. I know, how horrible! But Lila isn't quite sure *how* friendship works, aside from her just holding back her snarky comments and being generally nice to the girls. So...as Marinette slowly begins to trust her more since Lila seems to just...not be going after her crush, our anti-heroine is left grappling with what exactly it means to even have friends in the first place, and if her bonds with the gang are even real considering she's mostly pretending when around them. This all comes to a head when Alya invites Marinette and Alya for a sleepover at her house...and cue the Sapotis episode to screw up everyone's night. Low and behold, there's no Rena Rouge to help LB and CN out, and since Alya ran off looking for her sisters, and Marinette is "missing" (AKA Ladybug atm), Lila finds herself alone at the house. Now, logically, she should wait this out until the heroes deal with the Akuma, since it's none of her business. Then again...there's *something* nagging her in the back of her head, a kind of itch that just makes her want to go out there do something instead of being stuck inside waiting. Could it possibly be that she's grown to care for Alya and doesn't want to see her upset? ...nah, probably the boredom! On she goes to transform and jump out the window!

Oddly enough, she notices her costume has changed a little bit since the last time. It's still very much Volpina, but this time she looks a bit more like a real fox. Slightly fluffy, swishing tail, tiny bits of fur on her ears and the ability to flick them at will (yes I will be using this to show her emotions, since I find it adorable when Chat does it), and her fangs are a bit more pronounced. Does this reflect Lila's feral nature as a total chaos gremlin? Absolutely it does! Trust me, she's a troll and it gets so much better! Anyway off she goes jumping around rooftops trying to find Alya, until eventually she comes across Ladybug, who is just kinda jumping around seemingly for no reason (She's trying to get to Fu's place without being seen by the Sapotis). Naturally, Lila jumps ahead of her and peeks her head out from behind a chimney. Ladybug yelps so hard that she physically staggers back, and Volpina finds this incredibly funny. So do I Lila, so do I... After a short moment of Marinette doing a double take, she kinda looks at Volpina with confusion. It goes something like this:

Ladybug: "Wait...Lila?" she asks, confusion evident on her face.

Volpina: "Nope, name's Cerise!" she quickly corrects her, a wide grin on her face. "I- wait, I wasn't supposed to say that! Uh...sorry!" the fox heroine yelps back, pinching the bridge of her nose. "The name's Volpina! The real one this time, promise!" she sing-songs with a tiny bow.

Ladybug: "You're the real Fox Holder?" Ladybug raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

Volpina: "Yeah, Trixx absolutely adores me! So, how can I help ya miss Bug?" she asks, a chaste grin etching itself on her face. She seems almost feral, and Marinette decides to look her over.

Ladybug: Her lucky charm flashes over Volpina's form, and Ladybug examines her. It...looks like Lila's Akumatization, but also not? Her hair is a tad more orange, almost like there's faded highlights at the end of her bangs, and Volpina looks more *real*, like an actual fox rather than just a girl in a costume. "Uh...any chance you'll help us with the Akuma?" she asks again as the girl keeps flashing red in her vision, indicating she's the solution to her lucky charm.

Volpina: Volpina *grins*, flicking her tail at Ladybug. "Oh, I'll be happy to! Lead the way!" she chuckles playfully, almost like she's having fun with all this. Still Marinette jumps ahead of her, leading Lila back into the fray.

Cue the Sapotis-Land illusion and the Akuma's defeat, and Volpina hiding away the moment the fight is done so Ladybug and Chat Noir can't ask her any questions. Lila makes it back to Alya's place just in time, and jumps through the window, flopping on the couch just as the other girls also come back. She naturally makes herself look like she's been lounging around, and Marinette doesn't suspect her.

Worth mentioning that Lila was just pretending beforehand, and that Cerise is gonna be her supposed "real name" as Volpina, to throw off suspicion from her being Lila. Since Cerise doesn't actually exist in this AU (just like Lila's other 200.000 identities), it'll just be a cameo. From that day on, Lila joins Akuma fights every now and again, slowly growing into the Ladynoir banter and proving herself as an ally of sorts, while still blue skidoo-ing away before they can ask her questions. Look, she's in the *process* of crafting a new identity, this stuff ain't easy! After a couple weeks, she ends up eavesdropping on LB and CN while they're having that convo in Glaciator, where she tells him that she's got plans and whatnot. Ladybug leaves like normal, but Lila smells a wee bit off stupidity in the air, and decides to teach our dear furry a few things about how scheduling works. Low and behold, Lila actually ends up giving really good advice to Chat Noir even while actively trolling! Isn’t she miraculous? Anyway, I’ll need to go into waaaaaaay more detail about this in the next part of this AU, but I will save the specifics for part 3!

I’ll see you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous!

[tamtam-go92]

I have to be a little private here, but I kinda need to shout my thoughts into the void today:

I quit taking the pill for my birthday in late August and today I got on my first real period since taking the pill. And I tell you, I've took the pill for more than half of my life by now. The first few weeks have honstestly been challenging as I was going through a whole bunch of emotions and I started to have a horrible hair-loss (very triggering for, me as I'm having a very ambivalent relationship with my hair...), but everything settled in the last two weeks (exept the hairloss, but I'm taking suplements for those now and I it can take up to three month for them to kick in).

I was expecting my period since around the last week of September, but it took me until today to actually have it. And I feel NOTHING?! I'm absolutely in no pain! I'm a little tired and my back hurt a little and I'm very hungry, but no cramps?! What the heck?! I was put on the pill for my massive period pains when I was a teen. I would regularly pass out when on my period, so my doctor said it would be best to "regulate" my period, but I was still in a lot of pain during the bleeding. It got like better the older I got, but THIS must be the less painful period I've ever been on?!

Like what the heck? I've read that people would be in a lot of pain on their first period after stopping the pill for the first few month, but never that they had less pain? This is so crazy for my right now. I was very nervous on getting my first real period in years as I made such bad experiences. I really can't believe it xD

I'm talking to my partner about it, and he's glad I'm not in pain, but like he doesn't really get it, I guess. And he can't understand what a huge mind fuck this is for me. xD So yeah, maybe somebody wants to share their experiences here with me too? =D