#these guys are so.
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Haha… yeah… that’d be crazy…
#“wait so when you guys time travelled you DIDNT meet the giant time baby?”#“not quite but we did see a giant floating baby head? that was mostly when we were travelling between dimensions…”#“YOU WERE WHAT”#my art#gravity falls#phineas and ferb#dipper pines#Mabel pines#phineas flynn#ferb fletcher
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speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.
the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.
you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.
#there are things that are true mathematically#and things that are true because the guy writing the book says so#you do not want to mix up these truths
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Something, something, what if it all went really wrong and they were forced to speed-run the brotherly bonding
#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#injury#cw injury#I am still feeling new to the GF fandom I'm sorry if this is silly hahah#But all of these aus y'all are making has me so HOOKED#ABSOLUTELY FERAL#stan and ford#pines twins#Also practising anatomy and such!!!#The perfect guys for that#Art tag
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Amaury "Chocolate Guy" Guichon is undoubtedly an extremely skilled sculptor in chocolate but I think my favorite thing about a lot of his videos is the effort he puts into putting actual dessert food under the sculpture work
So many of his desserts & pastries have at least 5 layers of different textures & flavors. Fruit jams, caramel, cake, creams, mousse, cookies, meringue, crumb layers etc
That's what makes his work truly impressive to me, especially as someone who quickly got tired of the "knife that turns everything into cake" thing, where it was all basic chocolate cake buried under 13 layers of fondant
It takes amaury's work from an impressive stunt to "if I ate that, it would probably be the best thing I'd eat in my whole life"
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toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls
#currently obsessed with these two#they're all over my fyp dude#UPDATE: GUYS I WATCHED IT IT WAS SO GOOD#old tags ->#should really sit down and watch gravity falls in its entirety-#i only ever made it like halfway through it years ago and consumed the rest through osmosis lmao#anyways just wanted to try my hand at drawing this old man#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#gravity falls fanart#billford#s0up1tart
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asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now
#like we are human beings who have to coexist. i don’t think it should be so much to ask for some courtesy#but some of you guys act like being asked to be civil to the people around you is like being asked to sever a body part#idk it’s just a respect thing. i’m not being very coherent right now but we have to act like we can share communal spaces!#abandon ethical egoism please 🙏
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'fairies dont exist' WRONG❗❗cyerce elegans
#marine biology#ocean#sea slug#nudibranch#sea#sea slugs#sea creatures#sea critters#animals#little guys...#this thing is so special. to me
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"I had choice paralysis :(" is a KILLER line.
He's such a comedic powerhouse, I'm glad more people are getting exposed to him :'D
#smosh#smosh pit#tntl#shayne topp#zac oyama#tommy bowe#try not to laugh#dropout#smosh tntl 149 for anyone looking for the full video! since this took off :)#okay this broke containment noticeably so some additional context for anyone wondering#guy in trench is zac oyama. extremely funny comedian. he's on a streaming service called dropout. I advise looking up 'Make Some Noise' on#yt and watching the full episodes/compilations available for free there#He is in a youtube video with Smosh cast in an improv format they do called 'Try Not To Laugh'. Smosh cast folks are also very funny- a good#proportion of them at this point are also prifessional comedians. There are other Try Not To Laugh videos. a LOT of them. they can be#hit or miss but a lot of them are quite good (blind pairs or the musical episodes are all pretty good)#Smosh has multiple channels- this one is called Smosh Pit ajd also has other stuff they do. Challenge Pit is also quite funny. there is also#smosh games channel. smosh cast channel. and the main smosh channel#tbh i recommend looking up compilations of cast members to figure out what content you might find compelling but they make a pretty broad#spread of stuff at this point so odds are decent youll find something funny. esp if you already watch dropout :)#ok infodump over. glad ppl are having fun with this lol
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ryan reynolds: I want deadpool and wolverine to fuck
disney: no
ryan reynolds: I REALLY want deadpool and wolverine to fuck
disney: no
ryan:
disney: the bartender asks if they’re going to fuck or fight, there’s two intimate fight scenes including a car sex squabble where they stick their swords into each other all night long, there’s a joke about wolverines dick being in deadpools mouth, wolverine becomes deadpools live in boy toy & while he does help wade get back w his gf, he probably watches. and u get to make a pegging joke
ryan: SOLD!!
#Deadpool#guys it’s so good I’m not lying#deadpool spoilers#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool and wolverine spoilers
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the thing terfs (and transphobes in general) don't seem to get about sexual preferences re: not being attracted to certain genitals is that like. okay. you have a preference. this feature is a turn-off. but that does not mean it is necessary to constantly broadcast how unattractive and undesirable you find people with this feature. you do not have to do that. in fact, it is generally considered quite rude. sexual compatibility or lack thereof has nothing to do with moral purity or legitimacy.
#pigeon.txt#politics#this is not a sentiment exclusive to terfs#although I see it from a lot of them on here#so don't come at me with accusations of hating lesbians or w/e#I see it from PLENTY of cis guys as well
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Arsonist's Lullaby
#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#azula#ozai#atla ursa#fire nation royal family#fire hazard siblings#arsonist's lullaby#atla art#atla fanart#atla azula#azula art#azula fanart#zuko fanart#fire lord zuko#zuko alone#prince zuko#atla zuko#zuko art#ponytail zuko#fire lord ozai#atla ursa fanart#princess ursa#atla ursa art#atla ozai#hozier#fire nation#This is the very first ATLA artwork I ever made. It's originally six pages long. These are the only properly finished ones#I've been wanting to share this for so long! I can't believe it's finally time for you guys to see it
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I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts
#I always get so weird about being specifically excited about making two characters be friends#and be really close esp compared to canon.#and I’m like eujhh what if this is. Weird.#and then u remember I wouldn’t feel nearly as weird were it a ship bc that’s just like. Standard behavior.#more giving a fuck abt guys being buddies 2024#text posts :0]#todays post is brought to you by isabeau and odile interacting in isat
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It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:
Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.
Guard 1: What weird guy?
Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?
Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?
Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.
Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.
Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.
Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.
Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.
Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?
Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.
Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?
Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.
Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.
Librarian: How long has he been coming here?
Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.
Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.
Guard 2: Wait, really?
Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.
Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?
Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.
Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?
Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!
Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?
Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.
Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!
Archivist: Also he's really old.
Guard 1: Old as balls.
Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.
Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.
Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.
Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.
Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?
Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.
Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.
Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?
Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.
Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?
Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.
Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?
Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!
Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!
Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.
Guard 1: Why not?
Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?
Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!
Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.
Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.
Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!
Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.
Archivist: You're not a baby.
Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!
Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.
Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?
Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?
Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?
Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.
Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?
Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.
Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.
Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.
Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?
Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.
Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?
Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.
Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.
Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?
Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!
Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?
Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?
Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-
Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?
Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?
Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!
Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)
Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?
Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.
Librarian: Oh.
Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.
Librarian: Oh.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah!
#fun fact: the Khuzdul name Tharkûn means 'staff-man'#so the Dwarves also call him 'the stick guy'#on the naming of things#sufficiently verbose prose#that's what I'm Tolkien about
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as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#asexuality#ace#aro#im so glad you guys are enjoying this stupid post i made at work#okay i wrote that at 3000 notes but what the FUCK is happening#10000 notes on this no effort fmk post and not one aspec i know irl#dgmw im still very happy that yall are enjoying this post but also like. come hang out with meeeeee :(#okay this is getting ridiculous. 40k notes and still no aspec irls. where the FUCK are you all
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