#these fricken slap

[thebeautyofgaming]

No spoilers but if you haven't logged into Sky for a while ... now might be a good time to get those Season of Aurora quests completed. That concert SLAPS

[kiss-theggoat]

Can we have the after math of finding out it’s Billy? I’m fricken hooked on your writing.

A/N: You’re so sweet I’m flustered🥹 I’m in love with Billy Loomis so ask and you shall receive! This one’s a little short but I wasn’t too sure what direction to take it. Please leave more requests, I love them!

Familiar Pt. 2

Billy Loomis x F!Reader

Word Count: 800

Summary: Billy knows he has to kill you. He just can’t bring himself to do it.

TW: Thoughts of violence, suggestive, Billy is a murderer, Knives and Blood

Billy watched your face go from ecstasy to pure shock, horror, disbelief. You lay on your bed, vulnerable and spread for him, willingly giving your body to a serial killer, eyes wide and lips trembling as you whisper his name.

“…B-Billy?” You stuttered out, pretty cheeks turning a deeper shade of red, if that was even possible. A slap echoed throughout the room because of how hard you slapped your legs together, sitting up and covering your body completely, shaky hands searching for clothes or a blanket to cover yourself with. Billy was amused by this.

“You’re okay with fucking a faceless stranger but not a friend?” He teased, lips still flush and slick from your past activity. Your heart was beating a million miles an hour, stomach doing backflips. Billy was who you’d been sleeping with all this time? You felt betrayed, but at the same time you thought it was the hottest thing ever that he had been keeping it a secret. On the other hand…this meant that your best friend, your Billy, was a killer.

“I…I don’t…” words wouldn’t form. Your brain was moving way too fast for your mouth.

With a sneaky hand he reached down to his black boot, yanking the Bowie knife from its side. “Thought I told you to keep your eyes shut, pretty girl.”

Hearing his voice instead of the modulator made your heart flutter. You’d yearned for years for Billy to call you his, be able to kiss him, hang on his arm during lunch like Sydney did. You found it hard to be scared of the knife in a moment like this, your feelings for Billy blocking your fear.

“I’m sorry Billy, I…you sounded so familiar I-I…I just needed to see you.”

Billy froze. Usually, killing people was no big deal for him. Slice and dice, go home, maybe get a snack and watch a movie, go to bed. He stood still, knife pointed towards you threateningly, but as he stared into your puppy dog eyes and heard you say his name so sweetly, he was reminded of why he kept coming to see you.

You were his escape from everything. The plan. Pretending to be in love with Sydney was exhausting, he hated her. She looked just like her mother, and he couldn’t wait to kill her, but you. He liked spending time with you, and the fact that you willingly slept with Ghostface, not knowing it was him, could make him cum on the spot.

You were just as fucked up as he was.

He stepped forward, pressing the knife gently against your cheek and pushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear with it. “Such a shame.” He said softly, trying to hype himself up somehow. Convince himself to get rid of you, like he knew he had to.

You didn’t know where to look. You stayed still, frozen, scared that any move would cost you your life. Finally, you stared up at him. “Please. I’m not going to tell anyone.” You whispered, hand creeping up towards Billy’s.

He didn’t move. He let you touch his hand, gently grasping his wrist. You didn’t push the knife away from his face like he expected, instead, you held it still and pushed your cheek into it slightly. A bead of blood welled at the surface of your skin, trailing warmth down your face. Before the blood could reach your jawline, Billy lowered the knife in shock.

He could trust you. He knew he could. Stu would be pissed off. Should he tell you that Stu’s in on it too? Maybe not yet.

He dropped the knife onto the bed, watching it bounce off your plush comforter, making him think about everyone who’s died at its blade. “I believe you. But I’m gonna need some collateral.” He said, a mischievous smirk on his face.

You were confused, eyebrows furrowed and head shaking slightly. “What do you mean?” Your voice was still timid. Billy’s large hand moved past you, grabbing the knife again and with the other hand, he grabbed yours. The handle of his knife was cold, haunting in your innocent hand.

“Stu’s party on Friday.” He said, stroking the dull side of the blade as it sat heavy in your palm. “You…help me.”

Your stomach dropped in horror. He wanted you to kill someone. “Who?” You asked, wide eyes staring at the shining steel. He grinned his perfect grin at you, enticing you with his good looks that you’d admired for years.

“Tatum.”

[obsessedwhim]

Sweet Treat

Quick footsteps paced through an empty town late at night, arms tight around you as bitten lips rolled and split to take in deep uneven breaths.

Doing everything in your power to stop your mouth from falling into a painful arch. And with you out in the open like this, you were hopeful that it would strengthen you from having a terrifying breakdown.

So focused on the twister of emotions within, your vision blurred perfectly enough that it was hard to take notice of the oncoming bench.

And just like the fanny you believed yourself to be, you bent your knee so perfectly wrong that the hardwood of outdoor seating spliced through the gap of the right knee's patella and tibia.

An exemplary sweet spot for instant pain.

An entire torso's worth of muscles strained at the attack. Your throat clenching to smother a monster of a scream.

Your bones collapse as you attempt to breathe in only once, you just can't take it anymore. One hand slapped across dry lips as the other squeezed if only to bring you a short moment of peace. The throbbing knee. Both legs had been shaking from the awkward squat you found yourself in.

Tears finally fell and escaped their swollen barriers, easing you for a second before you realized what was happening.

"God... why" you sobbed, falling to the cold concrete below with the grace of a cardboard cutout and leaned into the scene of the crime. Wounded knee kept at a bend to not anger its soiled joint.

The other knee came up with a quiet creak and you bowed an aching scull, arms raising to his your pitiful cries from the world. Teeth grit to contain the machine flesh raging from within. Fuming at the unluckiness of it all.

You tried so hard to not let it all get to you, but the human body could only contain such powerful emotions for so long, and you had yet to fully cry at your current losses.

A Partner of Ten Years, ten whole fricken' Years! And you introduce him to one best friend who had just moved back into town and Boom! Like a bad joke none saw coming, he left you. Dust in the wind, off to be cradled in her romanticized touch.

As if you were never anything to him in the first place.

Good thing he left you without notice, lest you lose yourself and try to claw out his perfect eyes.

For a second, your shoulders slumped in your pile of pathetic clutches 'Why even care? Why should I be upset when I did nothing wrong?'

'BECASUE?? YOU LOVED HIM?? Gave him everything you had, even!'

Shoulders raised, fingernails dug into your one working leg, scratching away at the jean fabric covering your shin. Until your fingers grew heavy and you wanted your limbs to fall apart.

'I mean... sure yeah I- but it's not like-' Much like Jenga, you wished you were a bunch of blocks because board games dont have to deal with life-shattering realities.

'Shut up, shUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT. UP. STOP!'

Your strength came back in muscle-breaking waves, and you were sure you could break this bench if you tried hard enough 'Dont let some... M A N rot you from the inside because that's TO EASY, YOU DON'T DESERVE EASY!'

A black shadow peaked from a rooftop, watching as you constricted and loosened. 'That can't be healthy' the spectator thought, only noticing you after a strange squeal echoed from a nearby park and bounding over a handful of buildings, there he saw you curled before the unoticable criminal that halted your late-night walk.

'Are you really gonna let your foundations collapse just because of one bump in your timeline?'

You sniffled, using a damp sleeve to wipe away tears that refused to let up. This was the beginning of the end, you thought. It was hard to not allow any of your cracked sobs to pass through your clenched throat.

"Uh.. hey there"

You yelped, the loudest noise you had made all night. Your head turned with a tilt as your soiled vision rose past purple appendages. A green coat topped with strangely bright hair pulled you from the inner voices continuing on with their rants about current events and how you shouldn't let your horrible pathetic self fall apart.

Cold night air refreshed your tired lungs and you blinked a couple of times as the stranger moved to take a seat next to you, his bending legs missing the bench and sitting on the cold ground with an arm's length between the two of you.

"Yooou... okay?"

"Yeah, just... a rough day at the office y'know?" You snorted through a blocked nose, shrugging as sleeves wiped away at the water barriers between your eyes and the stranger's features.

"Don't you work in a sandwich shop?"

Taking in a stifling breath once more, you turned to meet the pinched features of a familiar ginger. "Oh, it's you. Hello Mr. Customer" You turned away quickly, why did such an attractive customer have to find you in such a state at so late of a time? You must look like such a weirdo.

Ichigo frowned, he wasn't used to seeing you in any other state than unbearing cheeryness. Even from a whole building away, Ichigo was able to recognize you.

He thought about how strange it was to see you out of your regular setting, how much smaller you looked despite baggy clothes hanging from you. Ichigo sighed with a saddened look in his eyes.

The next few minutes were filled with awkward conversation. It's not like Ichigo knows how to comfort someone he's barely talked to, and he doesn't even really know what's upset you in the first place.

You cackled at something he said, your dry laugh filling the empty street till your hand slapped over your smiling mouth. Voice lowering to a hushed giggle "Oh god, that was so loud"

Ichigo stifled his own laugh, but you pointed out how his face strained at the act. He breathed out the funny and did his best to keep his composure. You really were loud.

------------

Ichigo waited for you on a street corner, hazel eyes glancing over a shoulder at his reflection for only a short moment but the ginger huffed and fixed his shirt for the third time since he'd arrived. Fingers rinsing and raking through his orange hair to perk his spikes up just right. You mentioned how you liked his hair slightly messy one morning.

He took in a deep breath, and a grip around the sunflowers that he had brought grew sweaty. A great icebreaker and gift, Ichigo was sure you said sunflowers were a favored plant.

"Hey gorgeous"

The male spun on the spot, quickly turning to meet your raised vision and his face nearly exploded with blood.

God, you were cute, it was almost too much. Ichigo's heart clenched but he hadn't yet realized you took notice the flowers.

Your hand covering his circling grip and lips pressing against the corner of his jaw "How's the most wonderful man in the world doing today?"

Okay, now he was definitely about to explode. Stream rising and ears turning red. Lips wriggling as he did his best to welcome you.

---------------

Ichigo had been making his way through some paperwork he brought home, but it was way past noon and you knew he hadn't even attempted to head to the kitchen for some food.

It was too nice of a day to spend locked away in his office, not when you were out here.

You sighed from said kitchen. Leaning on the doorframe with a hand pinching at your chin.

What should you make your beloved for his lunch? You wondered with a hum and turned to head into the sun rays stretching from the front window.

Though Ichigo was deep in concentration, it was hard to miss a bowl of spicy karashi being set in the middle of the dinner table.

Ichigo eyes shone at the familiar bright yellow goo and glanced up at you with hope in his tired gaze "Are you... making Mentaiko?"

"Sure am" you glowed like some sort of beautiful food angel "I've cut the fish, just waiting on the rice now" and you walked away as if it were nothing, but secretly, deep within your heart lunged at Ichigo's adorable features.

You hoped he'd be okay with you joining him for lunch because there was simply nowhere you wanted to be more than with him, even if it was just for lunch.

-----------------

Though most of your morning was spent canoodling with a more cuddly than usual ginger, you stood before a till and kept yourself busy with customers, cleaning, and restocking.

It was a nice day of sunshine and music filling the small business from a random radio.

A coworker had come from the back kitchen and asked if you'd like to take a break, and you were never one to decline lunch.

You hummed and sparkled as you constructed the perfect sandwich and picked out a slice of strawberry and chocolate cheesecake. Your work pal snickered at your sudden shift to favoring strawberry desserts, and there wasn't one bone in your body that would disagree "I guess he really is the Love of My Life" You smiled down at the slice of berry garnishing your dish "I miss him!"

"Get over it already, the fanny's probably on his way to see you right now" They waved a dramatic hand "Shout on me if there's a customer would ya, I gotta get some stuff from the back"

"Sure thing!" You made your way to a favored booth, with enough room for two.

The door to the cafe rang and a wide body came through with a scanning stare.

~

Ichigo found his steps were quicker than usual. He got a little too caught up at work, and translating took a lot of concentration.

Thank goodness for his Hollow Hunting habits, keeping him fit and speedy. Though there were a few handful times of nearly running into some poor pedestrian but he was so close!

Just one more corner and Ichigo would make it to your place of work, of course, slowing to fix his clothes before stepping through the shiny glass door.

The bell rang and his ember gaze found you quickly, but you hadn't noticed him yet. You're attention taken away by a large being kneeling before you with a strong grip keeping you from retreating farther into your booth.

"Please Baby, I miss you so much. I always loved you y'know?" the stranger's voice was padded and sweet "It was always you" but his grip slid from your wrist to your forearm and there was no way Ichigo would let those grimy fingers gain another inch.

He was close to yanking the fiend away but said fiend screeched and cried and screamed for his dear hand where an unused fork splintered from his skin. Popping from the shallow wound and ringing against the hardwood floor "What The HELL?! You Crazy BITCH!"

"Don't Make Me Use My Knife!" you held up a rather threatening butter knife, meant for your sweet treat but some would say revenge may be even sweeter.

"You Shithead! You Better Leave Right Now!"

Ichigo knew about what this Ex had done, how he'd treated you, and stepped to the side as- you named him perfectly- Shithead stumbled and winced in his rush to leave the establishment.

"Ah! I'm so sorry everyone!" you apologized to local patrons with a deep bow and red face, but a few of them clapped at the experience "Dinner and a show, well done young lady," A customer told, others soon agreeing.

You sprung from your bow, and tears inked at the side of your eyes. The regulars were very in the know-how about their servers.

A smile split through your hot cheeks, almost at a melting point as Ichigo came from behind with a curve in his brow and a gentle hand on your shoulder "Are you alright?"

You didn't know if you had any teeth left to bear. Leaning in with a hand covering his, you said "I am now, everything's just perfect"

[mishy-mashy]

Fourier never appeared in the main series, but man, he's actually really funny. Absolutely like Subaru in his behavior but less cringe that stems from realism and second-hand embarrassment. Just friends being friends

Since I got my hands on that EX novel, I'm gonna pitch some moments of him so he's at least remembered if his name is brought up. I'll include some pictures for reference, and won't include the whole thing to avoid spoilers

1. This one can be found on the wiki as is: he fell in love with Crusch at first sight, but the moment she saw him, she threatened him with a knife in his own house—she then proceeded to almost attempt suicide for her mistake

2. He's so much like Subaru. He's loud, brash, in love with a girl at first sight, has small worries that he blows out of proportion unless they're absolutely important and life-changing like impending death, falls to his knees in anime-style sulking when told he's not as manly/strong as he wants to be to the girl he likes...

3. After seeing Crusch, you see how there's a guy chasing him in the first picture? That's his tutor. Fourier proceeded to slap him in the face ("MY EYE!!" screamed in comical fashion), drag him down a hall, and make him hit his head on every column and wall in existence

4. In the second picture, where Crusch holds a dagger, Fourier backtracks over it a lot like Subaru would

Fourier: Who would give their daughter a dagger on their birthday? They've no sense.

Crusch: Your Highness, I asked for this dagger from my father as a gift that day.

Fourier: Yep! Your father's the most sensible man ever! Daggers, wonderful gifts to young girls, they are!

5. That illustration of him and Crusch in a sword fight? He did that so Crusch would wear a dress.

Crusch sees him about to fall over like a shaking fawn, pathetic with trembling legs and supporting himself on his sword. He's exhausted and wanting to pass out or cry, and Crusch is like "Should we stop?"

And Fourier is all "NO!" and charges in with war cries the entire time.

"YAAAAAHHHH! CRUUUSCH! WEAR A DRESSS!!!"

I crap not, that's all he shouted, and it kinda scared Crusch.

"Wear makeup! Like flowers! Wear jewelry! Show me that beautiful smileeee!!! Uwaaaaaa!!!"

That's his motivation. It's hilarious and also sad, because he knows he probably hurt Crusch a lot for not letting her wear dresses. He's so exhausted by the end of it that he literally passes out on the ground after Crusch cedes it's her defeat

6. He didn't know Ferris was a boy. So when he had Ferris pose as his fiancee after Crusch couldn't so he could turn down his marriage prospect,

He did so, thinking Ferris was a girl. He only found out afterwards.

Also, before they actually went through with the plan, Fourier was raring to pretend being Crusch's lover, and getting all flustered at the idea. Imagine servant Subaru being all blushy over going on a date with Emilia and wiggling around. Not very different

"M-Me... and Crusch..!!"

"Compose yourself, my prince!"

- Fourier and Ferris, off of memory

7. The castle rumored that Fourier was gay, because he declared he loved Ferris, no matter his gender.

"As long as you're you..!"

Which is really sweet (how Fourier loves him). Still, Ferris worried he hated him after the reveal.

Ferris and Crusch are discussing this new rumor as Ferris is afraid of confronting Fourier after he learned he was a male... then His Highness comes barreling in, basically screaming and crying

"Crusch! Ferris! It's horrible, oh so horrible! I need you two now through the worst struggle of my life! Where are my two trusted people?!"

Because he literally just heard the rumor himself.

I think he was afraid that Crusch wouldn't love him if she thought he was batting for the other team, and that's why he stressed over the rumor? He also feared Crusch not liking him if he got fat

He's so fricken funny and this is just from me skimming the book. I haven't sat down to read it through, but just by skimming, Fourier and Subaru behave so similarly that it's just- my gosh.

Do Ferris and Crusch look at Subaru and think of the prince? When Subaru shouted and disrupted the Royal Selection gathering, and Julius probably saw Joshua, did those two see Fourier?

Granted, Fourier is more wise and composed than Subaru, and probably would've been more graceful about his interruptions, but the shouting of what he wants and thinks when riled up? The "wisdom" (knowledge) that comes out of nowhere, which both Fourier and Subaru have? (Fourier from instinct, Subaru from Return By Death)

Fourier wanted so badly to let Crusch be a woman, and fawned over her beauty and just wanted her to enjoy typical things of women. Subaru kicks his blanket like it's personally assaulting him, just thinking of multiple Emilias as he tries to sleep, and isn't afraid of showing his affection throughout the entire series

On the point of affection, neither of them are afraid of showing it to people they care about. Subaru braids hair, plays with kids, compliments outfits and smiles, Fourier hugs and tells his dreams of futures with his friends and has dances with them, etc.

(They even have the penchant of acting like things are fine to Julius by not telling him anything before they literally collapse in front of him [Fourier in a carriage, Subaru being possessed], leaving Julius to deal with them when things go south)

(On that note, it's sweet that Julius always calls for Ferris when someone is hurting, because he knows who can help best)

Anyway, Fourier? Funny kid. Resembles Subaru. Parallels can probably be drawn from them. Is important to the development of Crusch and Ferris, so it's not bad to remember him. The history of the royal family should come into play when regarding the Archbishop of Lust and Felt, too.

[fairlybeloved]

@nebula-drcams

   Nimue's met many people, and remembers many faces, but this face was new to her. She doesn't mean to stare, and she's not sure why she does for a moment or two, but at some point she figures it's best to actually speak.

" Apologies. Uh. Can I help you with something? You don't really seem familiar. Who are you? "

The Soldier often had a wandering mind. For those that passed, for those that knew little enough about him indeed, they might have determined him to be a brooding sort, curious to know if there was an entire well of information stored up in that cranium of his. Of course, just casually looking at someone like that didn’t reveal much of anything. Only the scrunched up way his face retained some semblance of an expression when a thousand thoughts indiscriminately ran through his mind.

Presumably.

The collision with another was the only thing that could possibly jar him back into the present [especially embarrassing for him later when he realized she'd literally been TALKING to him]. Zack was a big guy! It was sort of his responsibility NOT TO PLOW PEOPLE OVER in his journey of fricken walking.

He held out his hands in a gesture of peace, but also, concern, like he could save her from himself entirely.

"I.... am SO sorry!" For being so large, scarred, really looking like a bad sort, the words that came out of his mouth were nothing if not genuine. Expressive. Full of life in their own way. "I was a thousand miles away, how did I not see you???" He slapped a hand against his forehead. "Can I get you a coffee or something?? Now that I ran you flat, might as well finish the tropes up with a drink break or something??" He felt so BAD.

[jihyocentric]

The way Nayeon probably needs to see a change in Jihyo’s bump size to even register she’s pregnant. I can just imagine her having a conversation with the rest of the girls who are really trying to get her to figure it out like:

“There’s this glow about Jihyo these days”

“Yeah Hyo’s really glowing! Don’t you think?”

And nayeons just like confused

“Hmm? she always looks like that to me” and fricken shrugs it off and gets distracted about something else LOL

-🌸

it's so amusing to me bc she gets to see jihyo naked basically every day and it's still hard for her to guess. the changes are so subtle on jihyo's body during the first weeks that nayeon can't tell 😭 but i can't blame nayeon bc jisoo's bump was small too when jihyo was pregnant for the first time...

and like jihyo glows every day on nayeon's perspective, no matter what. she's pretty every. day. and nayeon can't understand why everyone is only now noticing her wife's beauty! but there are other things that nayeon is also not catching on

jihyo is not only glowing but she's eating more and her sex drive increases absurdly. on an nsfw note, i feel like nayeon wouldn't think about jihyo being pregnant even when they're having sex and jihyo slaps her hand if she wants to put pressure on her tummy. she thinks jihyo's just too sensitive...

[britswriting]

Devotion (23)

Devotion Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Warnings: Sexual content - I didn't make it extremely detailed, because if I do that it ends up being 2k words...

*Leighton's POV*

Walking back through our apartment door felt like a slap in the face. I expected to immediately get into pack mode and start figuring out logistics; and yet here I was, no new house to prepare for, no concrete plans to think about. I felt stuck; it was infuriating.

Christmas began approaching with no news about us possibly moving and I was starting to lose hope. We really lost our dream home, and I can't imagine how we're supposed to replace that feeling. Having to start from scratch felt like a stab in the back for all my hopes and dreams.

"Got your bag, kiddo?" I called out, Gemma walking out of the bathroom to come put on her shoes.

"Oh no!" She fretted, racing to her room.

I giggled, loving the sound of her little voice as her feet slapped against the hardwood floor. I swiped my phone and keys off the side table, Gemma coming back with her bag over her shoulders. 

She looked like she was ready to go off to school causing my heart to clench.

Gemma bent over, velcroing her shoes as I snickered to myself watching her backpack almost topple over her head.

"Mommy help!" She whined, fed up as she tossed her foot in the air towards me, the velcro straps flopping.

"Baby, set your bag on the ground, then velcro your shoes. You're a big girl, you can do it. Daddy's waiting on you, let's go" I rushed, needing to get to Gabe's in time for my midwife appointment.

Gemma talked my ear off the entire way to her father's; running up to his door and jumping to ring the bell, greeting Zara with just as much enthusiasm, happily saying goodbye to me and practically leaving me in her dust as I walked back to my car.

I was happy she was happy with her father, but it still felt weird dropping her off and not picking her up for a few days. She was growing up and it was terrifying.

Colby met up with me at my midwife appointment, ending a phone call before greeting me with a kiss, "Ready to see our baby girl?" he asked, lacing our hands together.

"I'm ready to see how much she's grown" I replied, yanking the door open, cold hair hitting me in the face.

"Ms. Fox?" A bright new smiley face beamed from the front desk.

"Can't wait for the day it's Mrs. Brock" Colby murmured to me as I began to check into our appointment, a silly smile spreading around my face as I sided eyed him before focusing back on the papers.

"Claire should be out in a minute" The woman, Becky— reads her nametag, informed. 

Colby and I sat, Colby immediately pulling out his phone to scroll through Instagram, liking posts here and there before opening his text messages.

My eyes rolled as I sighed, quietly complaining, "You know, not to be that girl, but can you get off your phone and talk to me please? This is supposed to be like an important experience for us, and I feel like you're just here because you have to be" I expressed, the nervous butterflies running rampant in my stomach.

Colby glanced at me as I spoke, his thumb clicking the off button, "I didn't know you wanted me to constantly fill the silence" 

Is he serious? 

"Yes Colby. That's my fricken problem. I can't sit in fricken silence." I groused, turning to face him, "Are you for real? Is it really a big problem for me to want your attention? You know, I recall claiming I wanted date nights and shit when we got back together and look at us now" I huffed.

Am I stupid to think he actually means it when he says he wants this? I swear we agree on one thing and do another. I don't know how else to communicate with this man then bluntly telling him what I want, or need; yet here I am, pregnant with his child and it feels like he'd rather be somewhere else completely.

"I've been busy" He tried to defend, a defeated sigh leaving my lips.

"Yep" is all I said before Claire came and got us, leading us back to the room. 

Colby stared as I went through the motions; even when my shirt was resting under my breasts as she measured my belly, just stared. No comments on the baby, on me, not voicing anything. Just his blue beady eyes staring at me like he had fully checked out and got lost in Colby land.

It wasn't until our daughter was on the screen that he made comments, things like "Look at her hand moving" and "She yawned!"  cooing over our daughter; it definitely made my ovaries think about how I could maybe keep doing this for him. We got our ultrasound photos, set up our next appointment and Colby asked, "Are we going back to the apartment and taking one vehicle to lunch?" Checking in, twirling his car keys around his finger as we walked.

"That's the plan" I replied, hopeful that this would be like a reconnecting date for us. Something I know we would gratefully benefit from. 

No phones. No work. Just us, eating lunch, talking together, enjoying eachothers company.

~

"Your burger and fries," The waitress placed a plate in front of Colby, "and your grilled cheese and tomato soup" she slid the plate and bowl in front of me. "Can I get you anything else?"

"I'm good, you?" I eyed Colby, Colby kindly dismissing the waitress. 

I dipped my grilled cheese before taking a bite, Colby swirling his straw in his soda cup, followed by a drink.

"Do you think I should just give birth in California? I mean, what is the likeness of us finding a house, moving and settling in by the time this baby is born? Especially with a home birth..." I sighed, "I really want to have a home birth, but I feel like every sign is pointing towards it being a bad idea. We literally don't have a place to do it and I'm due in April" I stressed.

With my dad's house having been sold and him temporarily moving in with Logan and Cynthia, I was feeling the pressure of figuring this whole house thing out even more.

Not only was I hitting nesting mode with no nest to prepare, but I was very aware of the calendar days ticking by. This baby had to come out at some point and we were nowhere near prepared. 

"Isn't it too late to decide to do a hospital birth?" Colby questioned, not at all making me feel any better about how short our string was getting.

"Is it ever too late? Can't you just show up to the ER in labor and say, GET OUT OF MY WAY, I'M HAVING A BABY" I whisper yelled, Colby chuckling with a head shake.

"That's exactly how Gemma went. I remember it vividly" he teased, popping a fry in his mouth.

"Oh shut up" I scoffed, snickering, taking another bite of my grilled cheese. "I can't believe I'm back in the situation of having a baby with no plan. I really thought things would be different this time. I had such high hopes for that house.. and I can't believe it slipped through our fingers just like that" I snapped my fingers, huffing.

"You have a plan." He credited, "It just isn't going to plan. Like most labor and deliveries"

My eyes rolled, "Shut up. Now is not the time for an I told you so. Am I just going to shove this baby out in our apartment bathroom? Might as well be on a public bus" I grouched.

"We'll figure it out, Leighton" He reassured, taking another bite of his burger.

"When?" I snapped, "When I'm dripping fluids and in severe pain? Because I think by then it's too late to figure it out" My eyes narrowed. 

"We can always move after she's born" Colby suggested.

"But that wasn't the plan" I whined, my face scrunched up at the idea of trying to move halfway across the country with two children.

It was a pain in the ass when Gemma was an infant, let alone to have a toddler and a newborn.

"But it's a plan" He emphasized my eyes narrowing again.

"Might as well move back in with Aunt Melissa" I huffed, dragging my spoon through the thick red liquid.

"That's also a plan. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if we were actively house hunting. Your aunt and uncle love when you're over" 

"I don't want to keep being in her hair. I'm too old to constantly run to them when shit gets rough"

"I'm just saying we have options. Or we could rent a place, but you don't like airbnb's because of your fear of secret cameras"

"It's a valid fear" I defended, sitting up straighter, feeling the pulling in my lower back.

God I can't wait to get this baby out of me.

"It might be a dice we have to roll if you want to move there before baby girl is born"

"I just hate that nothing, and I mean nothing, ever goes to plan. If it's not one thing, it's another. I don't understand why you aren't more frustrated about this?" 

Colby wiped ketchup from his mouth, licking his lips before clearing his throat, "I am frustrated that we keep having to jump through hoops, but we can't just see what's happened. We just need to figure out plan B"

"Well at this point, we're on plan Z" I grouched.

"I'm trying here Leighton, and you're shooting me down" Colby sighed, leaning back against the chair.

"I know, and I'm sorry, It's just.." I sighed, "I'm beyond frustrated with everything. It's pissing me off"

The entire drive home I scrolled through different houses in our price range, none of them marking every checkbox like the house that we lost. 

Either you had nice bedrooms and a shitty backyard, or a great backyard but it was on a busy street, and if it wasn't a busy street, it had a nice kitchen and family room, but the crime rate was too high. 

Why does nobody talk about how hard it is to find a house to raise your family in?

"We could always build" Colby reminded me, my eyes rolling.

"Colby. I'm due in four months. We're lucky if we can create a fucking floorplan by then" I grumbled, "God," I groaned, "Why couldn't this baby be coming in like.. 2 years from now or something. Something that just gives us more time"

"Leighton, I don't know what to tell you. We need to make a decision eventually, even if it's just temporary. We can always rent a place for a while and build a house or whatever"

"But nothing feels right"

"Babe, you're going to need to give an inch here. If we want to move before this kid is born, we need to have already made solid plans. So what if it isn't your dream kitchen, or beautiful master bath. It's a house that will house our beautiful children temporarily whilst we figure out our long term plan."

I knew he was right, but it didn't make it any less frustrating.

Later that night Colby rubbed the knots out of my back as I showed him different rental properties, holding my tongue about the things I disliked.

It's a house that will house our children. It needs to be safe, not perfect. 

We narrowed it down to a few, even sent two to our realtor with offers, sending us back into the agonizing waiting game.

"My body was not made for pregnancy" I groaned, the weight of this baby in my belly taking a toll on me more every single day.

"And yet you carry it beautifully" his warm lips pressed two soft kisses to my left shoulder blade.

"Don't get any bright ideas, Brock. We're done after this" I half joked, relaxing against his touch, allowing all the weight on my back to press into him.

"Are you being serious, or?" His tone was soft, yet concerned.

"I mean.. do you really think I can do this a third time?" I genuinely asked, "I know Gemma's pregnancy medical wise was worse, but this one is really making me miss when there wasn't a baby in my womb. She's killing my muscles"

"Just wait for when she's on your bladder" He half joked. 

"You put those words right back in your mouth" I playfully snapped, glaring at him, a smile tugging at my lips; only to give in fully as he kissed me.

"You know I love you, and your body, and the way you carry babies, but if you're being serious about being done....... I guess I just need to cherish this pregnancy a little bit more" He caressed my stomach, placing yet another soft kiss on my stomach.

Flashes of earlier at our midwife appointment appeared in my head, but I shoved them far far away, desperately wanting to bask in the affectionate side of Colby that I've been begging to return, then argue about whatever was going on inside of his head only a few hours prior. 

"I'm not saying I'm done for sure.. I'm just... it's hard, Colby. Carrying babies is hard — and if you tell me I carry it beautifully one more time I swear to god" I rushed, Colby's chest vibrating behind me as he chuckled. "I just don't know.. right now.. if I want to do this a third time. I'm sure if we wait a few years I'll want it again, and regret it halfway through, but don't expect me to shove six kids out of my vagina, and if I do, please.. for the love of god, shake some sense into me" I begged, giggling.

"Why would I do that if you make beautiful children?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"Colby" I groaned.. or well.. moaned.

"Hm?" he hummed against my skin, the grumble vibrating against my pulse point, earning yet another moan out of me.

"This isn't fair. I can't think straight if you're making my clit swell, greedy for attention" I huffed, feeling his hand slip between my legs and rub my covered sex, my eyes closing as my legs happily let him in.

"But I like your clit swollen, and greedy for attention. If you want me to stop, tell me to stop and it'll stop" he murmured against my skin, warm wet kissing going up and down my neck from under my jawline all the way down to my collarbone.

"Finish what you started, Brock" I groaned, my back arching off his chest as he pushed my underwear aside, tracing my folds with the tip of his finger, circling around my clit before plunging into my aching center. "Oh my god" I moaned, his finger pumping in and out of my vagina. "Another, please" I begged, or well, cried.

His fingers moved in and out of me, stretching me out before he finally messed with my clit, liquid rushing out of me before I could even process what was happening; my moans loud enough for whomever was on the other side of the wall to hear. 

"Jesus christ I've never come so suddenly" I panted, "Pregnancy is wild" 

"And beautiful—"

"Shut up Colby before I don't want your cock near me" I groaned, moving to face him.

"Look at your bump, baby" he fawned, his hands running over my stomach.

"Colby" I groaned, my hands on the front of his shoulders, shoving him more into the pillows as I straddled his thighs, his erection pressing against my aching cunt. "Can I try something?" I asked, slightly rubbing myself against him, loving the way I could feel him through our underwear.

"Go for it" he struggled out, pleasure written all over his face as his hands rested against my hips.

I began to slide up and down his cock, the head of his penis pressed firmly against his underwear, peeking out from underneath us as I moved against his length, loving the pressure it put on my clit.

Before I knew it, Colby was groaning, cum seeping through his underwear, the white mess making a puddle that seeped into my own underwear, causing me to move quicker, chasing my own orgasm only for him to carefully flip me over, pulling his cock out from his underwear and slipping it into my quivering center, pounding into me with no remorse.

"Oh my fucking god!" I moaned.

"You're so fucking wet" he grunted, my body slamming against his as our hips moved roughly against each other.

"You're covered in cum" I snickered, my nails raking down his back.

"I'm so fucking sensitive; I'm going to come again" he warned, the bed shaking beneath us before we both came undone together, breathless panting, moans and groans emerging as we separated

"We need to have sex when I'm pregnant more often" I panted, my eyes falling shut as he chuckled.

"That means you need to stop being mad at me so frequently" he smirked, my hand slapping his pec.

~

Gemma, Cynthia, Harper and I wandered around the mall Christmas shopping, reminding the toddlers that picking out Christmas wishlist gifts is not the same as buying it so we can play with it when we get home.

"So he just blew you off?" Cynthia asked, holding an upset Harper in her arms — moments ago she tried running off, ending in a lecture on safety and strangers before getting swooped up and put in air jail, Gemma toddling in front of us, hopping on the squares of the tile, trying not to step on the lines, her shoes slapping against the shiny white linoleum flooring.

"Well I reached out because of Christmas, you know? And Sam seemed like I was the last person he wanted to talk to, and then I asked Kat, because duh, and I swear it was like I had the plague or some shit. They ended up telling me they couldn't come due to going to their own families for Christmas, but it still rubbed me wrong. I swear ever since Colby and I got back together, things have been weird and it's just strange. I feel like I'm taking Colby away from his friends, but whenever I reach out, it always feels like I'm the last person they want to talk to. The only person who responds to my texts in a proper friendly manner is Stas, and even then, she's busy doing her own thing. So not only do I constantly feel like an outsider, but I can't even group people together to to meet up and spend some time together" 

"If you've put in the effort, then that's on them. You can't change the way they act towards you. It's not your fault if Colby never sees them because they decide to be offstandish with you" Cynthia shrugs, "You tried— are trying; you're doing your best. It is strange that Sam's dismissing you though. You guys were close, no?" 

"Yes" I sighed, "I'm telling you, ever since Colby and I got together, everything's been weird, and like, Colby used to put Sam on speaker when they talked, or let Gemma talk with him, but there's been so many hushed conversations and anytime he gets lost in his head, he's been conversing with Sam. I just wish one of them would talk to me; I feel like I'm losing them both. The other thing is I tried reaching out to Aaliyah again, but I still haven't heard from her. At this point I feel like I'm just pestering her" I sighed, "And it sucks, because she's my best friend.. or was my best friend, and all because of one stupid fight she's been AWOL. I can't even show up at her doorstep and confront her because I don't know where she is" I complained, "Ugh, enough about my life, how's it going with you and Logan? Is my dad an alright roommate? I swear, Colby and I are working on getting him out of your hair" I joked, Cynthia grinning.

"He's been fine. I think he's enjoyed being around Harper more. I uh.. Logan and I have been meaning to talk to you about something though." Oh god, "Logan has been thinking about doing another year of the Military. Not on active duty, but helping the guys prepare and such, but um.. Harper and I would be following him, meaning we'd be moving out of California for who knows how long. It's just, it's a full time position and I can't go x amount of days without seeing him again" Cynthia's worried expression burned into my brain as my heart rate picked up, "Especially now that we have Harper" 

"You're moving?" I questioned, Cynthia slowly nodding, before letting Harper down so the girls could go play at the tiny play spot in the mall. "I know I'm also moving.. but I just.. I don't know, there is something about finding out he's also moving that feels weird. At least it isn't active duty, right?" I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "Why hasn't he told me? I was on the phone with him last night.."

Logan and I try to call each other weekly at least and just catch up, why wouldn't he have mentioned something? How long has  he known?

"You're his best friend, Leigh. He's afraid of breaking your heart. He almost didn't take it and thought about following you back to Minnesota" Cynthia confessed.

My heart dropped, "He was?"

"Yes, but then he got this opportunity and it made good pay and such.."

"No, no.. I get it.. it's just.... where is it?"

"Fort Knox, Kentucky"

"Oh. Well that's not too far..." I drifted before looking over at her, "Wait, did he try seeing if he could go to Fort Ripley? That's not tooooo far from Aunt Melissa's"

"All the spots are full. Don't think he didn't try to stay with you. I've never seen a closer sibling bond, I swear he'd leave me in a ditch if it meant protecting you" She laughed, "And that wasn't a dig. I love that about him. I love how close you are. You both need each other, and I love that you guys have each other. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you before we both chickened out and landed in Kentucky and had to figure out a way for you to think we were still in California"

 Back at Cynthia's house, the girls and I helped carry in her bags worth of gifts, Nova greeting us at the front door, pulling on my heartstrings, especially since Gemma has been relentlessly asking for a dog, Colby and I's only defense being "The apartment doesn't allow pets" but I knew we were toast once we actually moved.

"Look at that dopey face" I cackled, cupping the rotty's face in my hands, "You're so damn cute" I cooed.

"Remember when she was a puppy? Now look at her" Cynthia laughed, handing a cup of juice to both of the greedy toddlers.

"I'd love to own a rotty, I just.. with two kids and planning to start college I can't imagine trying to puppy train until baby girl is done with her own potty training" I sighed, tossing a rope for the dog.

"Colby will be there to help. I swear you forget you guys are literally engaged. He's made a commitment to help" She laughed.

"He's always working. I can't juggle the house, two kids, working, college and a dog whilst he's gone working" 

 "But then they're home for an extended period of time, right? He'll especially be around to help with the baby" 

"Speaking of the baby. Colby wants to name her Lennon, and I think I agree with him.. just.. we can't figure out a middle name. I swear this baby is coming into this world into complete and utter chaos" 

"Lennon is a pretty name. Colby came up with that?"

"Right!? I was surprised too" my chuckle getting drowned out by laughter from the girls, both of them running through the house with some sort of light up, singing Disney wands. "No running through the house!" I yelled, "Someone's going to get hurt!" 

"Girls, why don't you go play with Nova outside?" Cynthia shooed them out, both of us moving to the kitchen to keep an eye on them.

We sat at the kitchen table, watching the girls as I explained my frustrations with everything going on.

I mean honestly, was I bringing our daughter into this world with everything being a mess? I haven't even begun to think about what her nursery would look like, or gone through the few things I had kept from Gemma.

We haven't talked about baby showers, or middle names, or if we're co-sleeping, or bottle feeding...

My mind was racing and lagging all at the same time and all I wanted to do was cry.

Gemma and I ended up staying the night since Colby was back in Vegas with Sam, it did not take much to convince us since Logan and Cynthia promised to feed us and Gemma got to have story time with her Papa.

"Do you mind if I drink some wine?" Cynthia asked, a bottle in hand.

My head shook as I scrolled through my phone.

"I missed wine when I was pregnant" Cynthia sighed, plopping down in between Logan and I, a movie ready to be played whenever we were situated, my dad and the kids having gone to bed.

"I miss Deli meat" I snickered, hugging the blanket closer to my body. "I miss sandwiches and like my roll up snacks. I swear you crave the things you can't have when you're pregnant; it's so annoying. Thankfully, Colby doesn't eat them around me, so at least he's thoughtful like that" I chuckled, opening Colby and I's text messages.

Colby 💘: Are we spending Christmas in California? My parents have been asking if I'm making my way to Arizona for the holidays seen

Shit.

Um.

Every reply I tried to send, I ended up deleting, just staring at his message.

I knew we should. It was his family after all, and I've kept him away from them enough as it is.. but Arizona? With a toddler? And me being pregnant? I'm sure all the flights are taken too..

Do you want to?

Really Leighton? Out of all the possibilities you could've sent..

Colby 💘: You don't?

Aren't the Christmas flights taken?

Colby 💘: We could drive

That's what I was afraid of. 

With a toddler? Remember last time?

Colby 💘: So no? 

Motherfucker.

I groaned, feeling Logan's eyes on me as I sent a quick reply back.

Could they come here?

"What's wrong?" Logan asked.

"Colby wants to go to his family's for Christmas. Yes I know how that sounds" I grouched, "It's just.. 13 hours in the car when you're pregnant and your toddler doesn't like to sit still? It's going to be a nightmare. Let alone the traffic of everyone else traveling for the holidays. If he wanted to go, I wish he would've mentioned it sooner so we could've looked at flights for us or them"

"Some nightmare's are worth going through if it makes your husband happy" Cynthia piped up, ignoring my glare.

"Cynthia, zip it" I spoke through clenched teeth, Logan's head cocking.

"Oh? What kind of nightmares are those?" he asked, my head falling back with a groan.

Here we go.

Before I knew it, Cynthia and Logan were "arguing" - bickering more like it, but it seemed more serious. If it was Colby and I, we'd already be yelling.. or well.. I'd be yelling, but is that really an important detail?..

"I say just suck it up and go. Especially with how guilty you feel "dragging" him to Minnesota" Cynthia shrugged, placing her wine glass in the kitchen whilst Logan took Nova on a quick nightly walk.

"But 13 hours" I whined, "And then some. That's not counting pit stops for both me and the toddler" 

"But it will make Colby happy" 

"Will it? His future wife and his daughter complaining the whole time about how hungry they are, about how much they don't wanna be in the car anymore? How shitty they're feeling? Not to mention I don't really feel like playing fake happy wife who loves her partner's family when I'm trying to just get through this pregnancy. I'm truly so fucking done of everything hurting and she's even been kind to my bladder lately"

"I still say just do it. Especially since you don't see them that often"

Easier said than done. I don't see her looking like she's about to burst at the seams.

I snuggled in the blankets on their fairly comfy couch, my father having taken over the guest bedroom, opening Colby's texts back up.

Colby 💘: Not with their back pain

What about my back pain?

Colby 💘: I can look at possible flights later.

Colby 💘: Sam and I are going to start filming again

Colby 💘: Goodnight. I love you.

Uggggggh

We can go

I'm staying at Cynthia's tonight and  we're heading to bed so goodnight I love you too. Be safe with Sam please.

That morning I woke up, immediately checking my phone only for my eyes to practically pop out of my head at my notifications.

Colby 💘: Thank you 

Sam and I just got to the hotel I'm getting home around 2pm tomorrow fyi

Landon 🙄:

How long do you boil eggs for?

I keep fucking it up. 

Finn and Xavier think I can't cook 🙄

Aaliyah ✨: Hey. I'm sorry for being MIA. Can we meet up and talk?

"Mornin' Momma! We make.. make pan..pancakes!" My darling daughter announced at an ear piercing volume.

"Gemma, inside voices" I groaned, stretching as I sat up, realizing just how badly I had to pee.

"Momma?"

"Yes honey"

"Coco didn't call" she pouted, her  arms crossed over her chest.

"What?"

"Coco didn't call. Coco always calls when bye bye"

Oh.

"I'm sorry baby. Coco was busy talking to mommy about seeing his parents. We'll make sure he pays for forgetting, okay? Where's Papa?"

"Papa with Harper" 

"Why don't you go join them whilst momma pees and then we can go eat your pancakes?" I suggested, shoving myself up off the couch.

"OKAY!" She yelled, already running off.

Kids have too much energy at all times of the day.

I opened Aaliyah's texts whilst I was peeing, my heart pounding as I replied, yet again constantly typing and deleting my message.

How do I calmly reply without making it awkward? Or like I'm overexcited? 

Where would you like to meet? 

I groaned at my reply, not only hating how "nonchalant" it felt, but also knowing that I now had to wait for a reply. 

Colby called whilst we were eating breakfast, Gemma taking over the phone call as I helped Cynthia keep eggs and pancakes off the floor — much to Nova and my backs dismay. 

Why does nobody talk about how much squats suck when you're pregnant? Cynthia ended up having to help me up a few times which was almost as equally embarrassing as it was wobbling and almost falling over.

Gemma gave Colby an earful about breaking his promise, Colby profusely apologizing, bribing Gemma with an ice cream date in exchange for an acceptance of apology, happily winning her over.

Colby had barely walked through the apartment door before he and Gemma were off on their way, abandoning me with my nerves as I got ready to meet up with Aaliyah.

I slipped on some maternity jeans, a flowy top and ran a brush through my long dark hair, pretending like I wasn't sweating buckets at just the thought of what she wants to talk about.

My fingers kept tapping the steering wheel as I drove, completely off beat to the music I put on as an attempt to distract myself. 

I refused to allow myself to sit in my own nerves any longer, slamming my car door shut and swinging the coffee shop door open, the intense coffee ground smell smacking me in the face, slightly triggering my gag reflex.

Great.

With a grimace smile, I pushed my shoulders back and scanned the shop, not seeing anyone who remotely looked like Aaliyah.

I sent a quick text before ordering a pastry and finding a seat.

I guess I was going to have to sit in my nerves after all.

 I couldn't get myself to sit still if it had to save my life. My fingers kept tapping against the table, or swiping through nonsense on my phone; the pastry quickly diminishing as I just sat here waiting. 

She reached out, out of the blue, having ignored me for months... for what? To just chit chat? That is if she didn't stand me up first.

Colby texted, informing me that they had gotten back to the apartment, texting me a photo of Gemma's speech therapy games, asking which ones she was worse at, thankfully providing me a few minutes of distraction. 

Every time the bell rang above the door, my eyes glanced up, hoping, only to be let down.

Was I seriously getting stood up? Was this her idea of a joke? A final fuck you? 

With singed hope, I checked our texts one more time, hearing yet another bell ring, only to finally be greeted by a woman who vaguely looked like my once best friend.

"Hey.. you haven't changed at all." A soft, sad voice said, my brow pulling together.

Was that a compliment or an insult?

"Aaliyah?" I questioned, watching her nod, finally taking a seat across from me. "You look... different" I stumbled, trying to keep a straight face, knowing I was failing.

Her roots were dark, showing, not that that was a problem, it just was unlike her. I don't think I've ever seen her natural hair color show this much. Her blonde hair was long, appearing tousled. She's always been skinny, but she looked skinner, her baggy shirt appearing a size or two too big, rather than huge her form like it used to.

"I uh, how are you?" She asked, my face had to look bewildered as I stared back at her in shock.

"Me? How are you?! It's been what... forever?" I expressed, sitting up straighter in the chair, my hand covering my bump so it didn't hit the table, drawing her attention to it.

"You're very pregnant." She noted, "When are you due again?" 

"April. What uh.. what have you been up to?" I asked, hating the way her shoulders fell.

"Nothing much. How are you and Colby? Still going strong?" She asked, her eyes telling me she didn't care and was just trying to be polite.

She all around lacked emotional presence. I felt like I was staring at a shell of my best friend, her eyes confirming my assumptions as the once shining gleam lacked their glimmer.

"Still engaged" I showed my left hand, wiggling my fingers, "Have you found anybody new?" I asked, Aaliyah shaking her head. "Where are you living now?"

"With a few roommates" She replied numbly.

"That's nice. Are they nice?" I asked, trying to brighten the mood a little bit; failing.

"It's fine" 

"All girls?" I asked, Aaliyah nodding.

"That's nice. Where do you work then?"

She was quiet, chewing her lower lip, finally replying, "With my roomates"

"Oh. Interesting. What do you guys do? Is it like.. work pays for it or whatever? Or did you guys start a business together? Did you meet at work?" I tried to engage with her, wanting so desperately to be back in her life, but it felt like pulling teeth to get even an inch of slack from her.

"No I um.. well.. uh.. what are you doing for work?" She quickly changed the subject.

"Oh. I've been working in sales in a clothing and shoe store. Nicer pay, easier whilst pregnant, but uh, Colby and I were talking about moving, so I might put in my notice soon. Plus with the baby coming soon. A lot's been going on. Have you tried talking to River since you guys broke up? Any idea how he's doing?" I asked, fishing for anything to work with.

Her head shook.

"How's Gemma?" She switched again, a smile broadening on my face at the name of my daughter.

"She's good!" I grinned, "She's four now. Taller. Speaks more. Drives me nuts sometimes" I giggled, "She's indifferent about being a big sister. Some days she's excited, other days not so much"

"I'm sure she's forgotten about me" Aaliyah sighs, slouching back in the chair.

My head shook, "How could she forget her Lay Lay?" I tossed a sympathetic smile. "You're her godmother Aaliyah. She'll always remember you"

"Have you thought about who will be the godparent of this kid?" She questioned, surprising me. 

"Haven't discussed it too much. I thought about asking Landon, or Sam. I don't know what Colby wants" 

Aaliyah nodded, glancing around the place.

I sighed, "Why did you finally reach out, Aaliyah? I've tried for months. I hated how I treated you when we argued. I've wanted to apologize for ages, and you've just gone mute on me"

"Well.. I didn't have a phone for a while. I finally earned money to get another one" She showed me an older model IPhone. "I uh.. honestly? I wasn't in a good place to rehash everything with you. I needed to figure things out"

"And have you?" I asked, Aaliyah's head shaking.

"No, which is why I finally wanted to meet up with you. I.." she trailed off, "I just wanted to see how you are. If you're okay. How things have been. How Gemma is. How the pregnancy is going. Wanted to check in on someone who was once my best friend"

Ouch.

"Once was?" I whispered, my eyes starting to get glassy.

Was my best friend breaking up with me? Is that even a thing?

"I'm not good for you Leighton. You're thriving" that was a stretch, "and I just.. I just wanted to see it for myself. You have a future husband, children, an entire life ready for you. You know I'll always be there for you, but..." But? I felt warm tears start to fall down my face, Aaliyah looking away. "You're so much better off without me. Without me meddling. I just.. I think you've grown so much without me, and it's a good thing. It's a good thing that you've made so much progress in your own life. Just the way your face lights up when you talk about your daughter tells me that much" Her own tears fell, "I just wanted to make sure you were happy. That you were okay. You're still sober, right?" She asked, my head nodding. "See?" her voice cracked, "You're good without me, and I think it needs to stay that way"

I so desperately wanted to tell her just how wrong she was. How my life was still a mess, and how I was nowhere near ready to plan a wedding, or have a baby, but I couldn't help but focus on how it felt like she used me. She got me here with wishful thinking, knowing she had ill intentions. Who does that? Who reaches out, talks about reconnecting after months of no contact, only to practically break up with you? 

"So that's what this was?" I sniffled, wiping at my face, "You met up with me, just to tell me you didn't want to be my friend anymore?" 

"It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't" She replied, adding salt to the wound.

"You can't? What does that even mean! I've tried so hard, Aaliyah! I know you think I'm selfish, and maybe I am, but I've tried too hard to reach out. To talk to you. To be there for you, and you just.. you can't be my friend anymore?" 

"It's not safe for you to reach out, Leigh. You have an entire life going for you. We'll always have our memories, but... I needed to tell you in person that I can't do this anymore. Okay?"

Not safe?! What does that even mean! 

"No! Not okay! What the hell, Aaliyah! You're scaring me. What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Leighton. Please" She quietly begged, my head shaking rapidly.

"No. I refuse to give up on you. You have no valid reason to not be my friend. I can respect your boundaries, but nothing about this feels right! Tell me what's going on, please" I begged.

If she wanted to cut ties, fine. If she no longer wanted to be connected to me, I could deal with that... but this... it felt like she had a gun to her head and needed to say what she needed to say to get out alive; it just didn't sit well with me.

"You're better off without me—" She tried again.

"Bullshit!" I interrupted, "All I've wanted is to be your friend. To be there for you. I don't care if that's you at your worst, or your best. If this is your worst, just tell me. Tell me how I can help. Is it your living situation? Do you need somewhere to stay? Because I have options Aaliyah. I have family more than willing to open their doors to you. I have a toddler at home who would love to see you. You can't just walk away for no reason. You've been there for me way more than I have for you, and when I finally get the chance to repay you just.. you what.. cut the goddamn cord? No." My head shook, my lips pursed as I refused whatever insane thing was going on right now. "What do you need from me? How can I help you? Clearly something is going on" I begged, hating how I was getting shoved away without a chance to fight for us. 

I could tell she had made up her mind, I just wish I knew why.

Was it really all because of that stupid fight? or was it something more?

"You can't help me, Leighton"

"That's not true—" I interrupted, only for Aaliyah to interrupt me.

"I'm happy you're happy, Leighton. Truly. If anyone deserves it, it's you" She smiled softly, her hand reaching across the table for me, her touch burning with bittersweet memories.

The tears were flowing freely, my brain trying to catch up with what was going on right now, failing miserably.

"If I need you, I'll call you. Okay? Just.. let me do this. Please" She begged, my head nodding before I could stop it.

"I love you. Okay? Whatever you need. Just tell me" I begged her to promise, Aaliyah bending to hug me, whispering back that she loved me, and that she was happy for me, before walking away; right out of my life.

What the hell just happened?

I walked through my apartment door in shambles marching past Colby who was sat on the couch, laptop resting on his thighs, shutting our bedroom door behind me, undressing.

I felt dirty. Like my crystal clear lake was now a murky pond.

The entire drive home I tried to understand what I had done. Relaying every text I sent, every conversation we've had. How it got to this point. I simply didn't understand and I don't think I ever will.

All I know is I lost my best friend. The person who's been there for me through thick and thin... and the second she needed me like I needed her, she cut the tie.

I lost her before I could even try to fight for her and I had no clue what to do.

* * * *  This chapters been "done" since January. I just wasn't happy with it and got writers block cus I didn't know how to fix it... and well.. now it's March uh..

If this book was a jenga tower, it's about to tumble 👀

Written on: December 21st 2023, January 4th, 7th, 8th, 10th, 14th, 22nd, March 6th 2024

Published: March 6th 2024

Word Count: 7210

Part Twenty Four

[lovelylotusf1]

Tagged by the amazing @wisteriagoesvroom. Thank you!!! <3

I'm gonna ignore songs from the same artist and only list them once because it would just be full of Piano songs then...Also only half of the songs have lyrics so take away whatever information you want from this.

10 songs I listened to recently, ordered most to least recent, with Director's commentary:

1) Wigglytuff's Guild Theme from the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Soundtrack.

Again, my alarm. It wakes me up in the morning and it is morning as I write this so it's inevitable that it's my most recent song.

2) battle in the city of shattered glass by AZALI.

Beautiful piano song

3) Dans le Noir by Eric Christian von Fricken.

Another piano song, gives me Lestappen vibes.

4) Footsteps in the Snow by Luke Faulkner.

This is the last piano song, I promise.

5) Kermit the Frog Voice by Tom Cardy.

It came out yesterday and I was curious....It is exactly as weird (and funny) as it sounds.

6) Daybreak Ruins from the Pokemon Ranger soundtrack.

It's my go to song for taking a walk in the evening because it has the perfect tempo for my steps.

7) Lagtrain by...I actually don't know?

Sometimes my Vocaloid phase catches up to me. But I really like the bouncy music video even though the songs sounds rather sad (i have never checked the lyrics, but they might be sad as well)

8) Breezy Slide by Louie Zong and Brian David Gilbert

This song is full of fun ~vibes~ Love to listen to it

9) That one Pikmin song, covered by various artists. My favourite rendition is by chai.

Sometimes it's listed as "Pikmin Song", other timed it's "Beware the Nintendo's Pikmin games". I also don't know why...I just think it slaps.

10) Various songs from Mario Kart.

My playlist for driving has exclusively Mario Kart Songs. I don't like driving if I don't have my silly car game music.

Now that you know my (questionable) music taste, I am tagging some people:

@borntogayz @charlclerc @le-stappen @ravenrage27 and whoever else might see this and wants to give it a go!

Feel free to answer or ignore if you want or have already done something similar! :D

[demon-shark]

Red Cloud Curse; Chapter 1

Warnings: Cussing, highway meat robbery, alcohol, mystery shipping

Man makes the mistake of leaving his meat truck in the hands of Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan.

Kisame was walking back to the apartment with Hidan and Deidara when they came across a truck. The guy they assumed had been driving it was standing next to it and typing it away angrily on his phone. It must have been dead because the driver ended up angrily shoving it in his pocket. He then looked up at the three of them and pointed while he yelled, “Hey! Yeah, I’m talking to you!” Kisame stepped up to the guy as he approached asking, “You gotta phone?” Kisame dodged the question by asking his own, “What? Did your truck break down?” The man looked between Kisame and the truck before snapping, “No genius, I just like standing around in a shitty neighborhood. Look I’m already two hours late on this delivery, I try to take one short cut and this is what I get. My goddamn kid drained my phone playing some stupid game, my goddamn wife took my charger. Listen, I will give you ¥5 if you let me use your phone. Just one call.” 

“Oh, we don’t have a phone. Our Dad said not until we’re 18.” Deidara lied without hesitation. Deidara then turned around and waved down the street, “There is a bar down 10 blocks that way… I can’t remember the name. They should help you out though.” The man’s eyes widened. “10 blocks?! Fricken.” The man then reached into his pocket and started counting out some cash. “This is yours if you watch the truck.” For a desperate man, he sure is cheap. “¥5, cool. Thanks, mister.” The man then started down the street, “And make sure no one gets near it!” As soon as he was out of earshot Kisame pulled out his phone and made a call, “Hey Kakuzu, I’m sending my location to you now, bring a crowbar.” 

It took 5 minutes for the rest of the Akatsuki and some of their neighbors to show up. As soon as Kisame was tossed the crowbar he broke the truck open revealing an entire butcher shop's worth of meat. Kisame and Kakuzu jumped in and started helping others into the truck so everyone could take what they wanted. As they started emptying the truck, more of their neighbors caught on to what was happening and joined in. One rather feisty old lady slapped Hidan away from a box of something, “Get back, I’m married to two husbands.” Hidan raised his hands as he said, “Take it easy, Grandma”. As the Akatsuki dragged their portion of the haul into the apartment, Konan stood in front of the freezer, “How are we going to store all of this?” It was then that Kisame came in with a whole cow leg on his shoulder, “Careful, coming through.” Konan looked over everything before turning to Zetsu, “Does Imada still have that chainsaw?” Zetsu didn’t look up from the meat he was weighing as he said, “yeah and he owes Hidan cause he covered for him while he was having an affair.” As Kakuzu went to grab the chainsaw to cut the larger meats, the others took knives to what they could and wrapped them up in newspapers. They soon heard the sound of the chainsaw being used from the sidewalk, “Can someone get the leg to Kakuzu?” Konan asked and she chopped up some beef. Hidan jumped up from his station and plopped the cow leg onto his shoulder, “You got it,”. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loud bangs shook the walls of their apartment as a grumpy Madara made his way to the door. He nearly ripped the door off its hinges startling the officers, only made worse by the scowl that Hidan is convinced is permanently stuck on his face. “I-I uh…” The first officer struggled to find his words causing his partner to step up, “We’re investigating the recent robbery of a meat truck that took place last Friday. We were wondering if anyone here might have seen something.” Madara crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway as he looked down at the officers. “No.” The first officer took an awkward step back as if trying to escape only to be stopped by the second officer. “We actually have a few suspects we would like you to look over.” She then pulled out three pictures that roughly looked like Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan but Hidan and Deidara were the wrong gender and Kisame’s shark features were exaggerated to almost cartoonish proportions. It was then Kisame walked out from the room he shared with Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara. 

Madara turned around at the blue man he found to be a companion and called him over, “Kisame! There are some cops here with some pictures they want you to look at.” Kisame looked only slightly confused before he walked over, the second officer held the pictures out to him and without hesitation, he said, “I have never seen these people in my life,”. Madara heard someone choke down a laugh in the back and if he knew what was good for him he would be gone by the time Madara turned around. “Very well, thank you for your cooperation,” the second officer said before leaving, the first officer practically sprinting away from the door. Madara slowly closed the door behind him, before turning around to a grinning Hidan who looked a little too proud of himself. “Have you never heard of discretion?” Hidan immediately waved him off, “It’s not like the dumbasses recognized me.” Kisame raised an eyebrow at the silver-haired ass, “Where are you going?” Hidan looked around the kitchen as he said, “Maruko du Pain.” Kakuzu then stepped out and headed to the kitchen to start making coffee. “Don’t distract Itachi.” Hidan looked back at him offended as he said, “I wasn’t going to,”. Hidan then grabbed a piece of toast and headed out the door. “Was that picture supposed to be me?” Kisame asked, turning to Madara who grumbled as he rubbed his face and headed back to bed. 

Hidan enjoyed Madara’s breakfast as he made his way into a nicer part of the city. As he did, he noticed a familiar redhead entering his very destination. He grinned to himself as he ran in after Sasori, the door not even having the chance to close. The look on Itachi’s face said it all ‘Please don’t do this’. Upon seeing Itachi’s face, Sasori turned around and immediately regretted it. Sasori turned around and took his usual place in a corner of the cafe that was hidden from the cameras. Hidan strutted up to the counter where Itachi stood with a look of utter defeat, unable to run because of his job. Only Hidan was interrupted by the sound of a woman clearing her throat. She had to have come in after Hidan because he hadn’t seen her when he entered but that didn’t stop her from looking up at him as if she expected him to move. 

Upon seeing that Hidan wasn’t going to move she shoved him out of the way. “This creme brulee has dirt in it!” Itachi looked slightly concerned as he reached out his hand, “Can I see it?” The woman handed it over and Itachi quickly relaxed, “This is vanilla.” The woman then scoffed as she asked, “Are you calling me stupid?” Hidan then mocked her scoff as he said, “He isn’t but I’m going to.” The woman then put her hands on her hips as she turned to Hidan, “Vanilla is clear, if you’ve ever baked before you would know that.” Hidan then put his hands on his hips in an exaggerated manner, “Maybe your cheap store brand stuff is, but vanilla pods have little specks in them.” The woman then gave an offended gasp before storming out of the bakery. “What was her problem?” Itachi gave a tired sigh as he said, “That was Okubo Azumi, she lives next door to the bakery and seems to have an issue with the bakery.” Hidan removed his hands from his hips to look over at Itachi, “So she does this regularly?” Itachi gave a tired nod causing Hidan to look back at the door the lady just left, “Who beefs with a bakery?”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As they lit the trash fire everyone gathered around with their beers and their kids to celebrate the meat hull they pulled off earlier that day. “I’m gonna be honest, when these… teens moved in six weeks ago going on about some cycle of pain or hatred or whatever, I thought they were a bunch of loons. But I’ve come to see the light. How we have come to over rely on heroes causing good people to stand by when someone needs help. Heroes who care more about fame and money than helping down-troughton people like us. Heroes help maintain a system that suppresses us. A system that shames and demeans those for things out of their control. A system that puts assholes in charge because they were determined better than the rest of us at birth. People I had brushed off as just some teens who didn’t know what they were talking about, opened my eyes to real problems with our society. And that’s just my way of saying… thank god for the Akatsuki.” Everyone then raised their beers as they yelled, “To the Akatsuki!” Miyake Hiroki, a drunkard who liked to play the victim, wasn't too far off from what Pein had been pushing since they learned about this hero society. However, what he believed the message was as an individual isn’t as important as how the community had taken it. As he watched over the trash burn and barbeque he was approached by Tobirama. “Pein.” Pein looked over at the albino, returning with his own, “Tobirama”. Tobirama then moved to stand next to his wheelchair, his arms crossed. “We need to talk.”

It was then everyone heard the dreadful sound of police sirens. The lights soon came into view and turned out it wasn’t just the police, a fire truck had shown up as well. The crowd quickly started to boo as the party was shut down. The police ushered the people away as the firefighters put out the fire. “Gotta hand it to um, they handled it faster than the heroes did.” Jouzetsu smiled as he put his hands in his pockets. “That’s because the heroes don’t come into this neighborhood,” Dokuzesu grumbled, the implication of Jouzetsu being a dumbass clear in his tone. “That does remind me though, whose turn is it for the electric bill?” Hidan gave a quiet, “Crap,” before reaching into his pocket and pulling out ¥25000 in cash, “This should cover it,”. Pein then looked over at Tobirama who had been cut off by the situation, looks like he wasn’t going to drop it. Pein gave the rest of them a look before he and Tobirama left to talk.

[cynergy-laughter]

Do you know the "43 FUDGING CENTS!" TikTok audio thing? How would the brothers and MC react to Mammon screaming that whole thing?

-the one who dumped the Pokemon and Obey Me crossover thing

Oh my god, it’s been a hot minute since I did a reaction post. But I just reminded myself about the 43 frickin cents audio. This is going to be with a Tiktok Creator MC.

Mammon: 43 fRICKEN CENTS!!! *screams* I need a SUGAR DADDY! At this I’m ready to fricken plastering my body on the sidewalk for some loose change! Spareee change!(x2) Anyone got some… Spareee change! walkin in a winter wonderland~.

Lucifer: He can hear this through the door to his study, he stops doing paperwork and starts rubbing his temples, choosing not to engage with him at this time. He knew he was doing this because he got his card taken away, and he was not about to let Mammon break him. He had no idea this was a tiktok audio skit that he was doing, so he thought it was Mammon being Mammon when he’s broke.

Leviathan: Was doing a livestream when it happened, and he just slapped man with a receipt for new headset, because his old headset he uses for streaming got stolen… and broken… by Mammon. He was just in the middle of explaining why he didn’t have his headset when Mammon started screaming the audio. Levi pressed his lips together and tried his hardest to react. It wasn’t until he gently facepalmed that he started snort laughing, trying and failing to not break on stream. He was gonna kill Mammon later, cause he knew exactly where this was from.

Satan: Was another person who thought this was just Mammon when was broke; trying to guilt Lucifer to give him wallet AND his card back. But ever since MC got him addicted to tiktok scrolling, Satan had just recently come across that audio except it was an animatic of the Lord of Fools, and sighed an about to laugh sigh. He was tempted to record himself going down in the middle of Mammon’s rant and throw a Payday bar at him, and tell him “You’re not you when you’re begging.”

Asmodeus: Is also a tiktok queen of beauty and make up. He was in the middle of doing a face mask when Mammon started screamingly reciting the audio. Asmo was trying so hard to not laugh, he got through the sugar daddy part, but broke on the next part. He started laughing and then began screaming cause his mask was ruined. He got himself some rope and began to chase Mammon around the house to try and string him up.

Beelzebub: Was raiding the fridge when he saw Mammon come in and start screaming this in the kitchen, holding receipt. He was watching Mammon as he paced back and forth continuing his rant. Beel was entertained as he got second dinner and a show, even though he didn’t know what the heck was going on.

Belphegor: Was up in the attic bedroom when he could barely make out what Mammon was shouting. He groaned as he took a pillow and put it over his head to try and drown the noise out. He didn’t care much for tiktok, only using it to help him drift off to sleep. And it wouldn’t be a day later when he would discover the og tiktok and it all became clear. He would softly chuckle as remembered yesterday, and grinned at the aftermath.

MC: Mammon knew this was one of your favorite TikToks and did it because you were feeling so sad that you holed up in your room. It worked, you woke from your nap to hear Mammon doing your favorite tiktok audio, and you cheered up instantly. You began laughing in bed, and then heard the scream that happened after the last singing part. Asmo began chasing Mammon around the house for ruining his skin care routine, and you were just silently laughing because Mammon really just “Did it for the meme.” You gave Mammon a big hug and a cheek kiss for cheering you up.

Thank you again, anon. For giving me this gift of a question, I hope you and many others like it.

[not-all-tales-have-happy-endings]

ok so as promised i am makinn a list of ways bapo doesnt line up w romeo and juliet

- mercutio and romeo are gay for each other (debatable, ik, but personally i cant see romeo having feelings for mercutio)

- juliet has a unrequited crush on romeo

- romeo gets juliet pregnant

- Tybalt has a crush on his fricken cousin

- Benvolio sells romeo the poison (ig benvolio is the apothecary now…)

- Juliet doesnt die

- Benvolio is dating lady capulet (…)

- Nurse is romeo’s twin sister (NURSE IS ACTUALLY A MONTAGUE LE GASP?)

- Tybalt outs mercutio and romeo (no tybalt you do not)

- Nurse slaps everyone (as she should /j)

- Juliet bodyshames nurse

- Nurse slut-shames juliet

- Everyone is catholic

[goingtochurch]

THE EARTHSPARK REVIEW NOBODY ASKED FOR EP:12 "Outtakes"

here we go again, this is far too late but hopefully this is still fun

camera added to inventory

THRASH FOR BEST ACTOR

Jawbreaker is so,,,,omg

hes a lil slow but hes amazing

HES SO S W E ET OMG

he is suprisingly stealthy for his size

Dot's Advice Time

hes so hyperfixated on alt modes its kinda adorable

jawbreaker i love you but you didnt have to do bee like that

"im trying to find the talk button on this camera" UR TRYIN BBY

hashtag is trying to help

shes so excited to be a producer

*forgets to hit the record button*

HES JUST HANGIN ON

this is very dramatic in the naval yard

oop we get megatron and elita 1

MEGATRON W O W

"when can we expect oPTimUs-"

theres so much venom omg

JAWBREAKER IS SO POLITE

"what is it young one" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

omg megatron l o r e

damn megatron didnt even get to choose the alt he wanted he just had to scan a human one

*megatron talking about terrible things*

Hashtag: Oh! These terrible things? *pulls up footage*

LIKE WOW

OUCH

OKAY

thank you jawbreaker for calling her out

i like the helicopter tbh

hashtag being prissy omg shUSH

ELITA 1 SLAPS

JAWBREAKERS TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP UP

Elita 1 advice time

i really do enjoy her

ELITA 1 LORE TOO??????

UR NOT BROKEN BBY

YES THE ALLUSION TO OTHER ALT MODE TYPES

god hashtags at it again

OF COURSE THE FRICKEN ARACHNAMECH W A K E S U P

it sHMOOVEN

OOP HE PUTTIN DOWN THE LAW

"my spark tells me its not time! That should be enough for you!" A

CAR CHASE CAR CHASE

HE S Q U I S H E D EM WITH THE TIRE

sibling bonding time

THEY SAVED THE FUCKIN MOVIE GUYS THIS IS STILL SO CUTE OMG

[uncertainwallflower]

Hiiiii! I wanna give out a mutual ask. (But also your fic titles slay)

And since they slay so much, i was aghast at the fact that i couldnt choose all of them bcuz that wud kinda be unfair. SO.

The Hanging Tree/The Hum of the Tracker Jacker

Ayyyyy! Hunger games! Side question: do u know/memorized/heard the hanging tree song? Have u ever sung it as a lullaby to a child or a loved one as they sleep?

Also, the title slaps. The HUM of the TRACKER JACKER?????? It is giving me FEELS.

*screams bcuz Peeta*

Anyway yeah, reminder to drink the life elixir (aka ocean sauce).

First things first, *mutual screams because Peeta*

Thank you so much for this very extensive ask, Quo! I fricken love talking about the Hunger Games so this is very welcome. Also stop, now you’re making me blush.

Okay, to the task at hand… My plan for this fic is to follow Peeta immediately following Katniss blowing up the forcefield. So getting left in the arena, being taken by the Capitol, tortured, manipulated, hijacked, etc. Then rescued by District 13. I’m not sure how far much further I’ll take it but yeah!

In regards to the Hanging Tree, that song was my childhood ANTHEM. My best friend and I were obsessed with the Hunger Games so we would sing it practically constantly. I’ve never sung it meaningfully, more so while traipsing around the bush pretending we were in the arena or hunting squirrels in the forrest or whatever…

Here’s a link to a previous post with a snippet.

WIP ASK GAME

[hollowfiedbatman]

‘ when was the last time you slept? ’

|| Starters || @uzchis || [ modern au ] ||

There Chase sat, clad in a black crop top with a batman logo on it and booty shorts with an “are u nasty” slapped across the ass. The messiness of his hair would have been more apparent if it weren’t pinned down by a crude crown fashioned out of a beer box.

He crossed his hairy legs and sat back, smacking his lips before taking a sip of his morning smoothie. “Y’know… I don’t remember most of last night but I recall passing out at some point. Whatever sleep I did get was fricken stellar though!”

[phantompoguefangirl]

MICHAEL SANG BREAKING FREE FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

I LITERALLY SCREECHED AND SLAPPED A HAND OVER MY MOUTH WATCHING THIS.

Also "THEY'RE SINGING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL LOUDER THAN THEY SANG OUR SONGS" fricken took me out 🤣

[aamethyst000]

feeling so blue right now, i feel kind of stupid about it lmao - july 2,24 - 7:12pm

Dude, my 3DS fricken broke a couple of days ago and ive been sad about it ever since lmao i was almost done with my master quest on OoT!! how abosultely frusturatingg is THAT?! i was at the last temple, getting to the very last sage before finding out who sheik's other identity is. i didnt even get to start over on majoras mask or kirby. Now im on the look out for a new DS, whether it be a 2DS or a 3DS again i'll decide that when i know i have enough money for it. which will take a long while because i still dont have a goddamn job EVEN THOUGH ive applied to 3!!!! other jobs this year but absolutley no one has answered me. i fucking hate it when they just ghost me like that. i'd rather have them telll me striaght up that im not "fit" for the position i apllied for, or simply just not hired. that's all i want! not this no answer IS an answer bullshit. anyway, hired or not, im still going to be without a handheld concol for a good couple of months. maybe. it depends. i Just started decorating my 3ds with pretty stickers :( i literally wanted to go cry about it, only to be slapped with reality, about how old my 3ds is, that just made me mad lmao because my older brother's dsi is lasting LONGER and it is F I V E years OLDER than my 3ds!!! like, fuck off xD oh well, nothing i can do about it now, considering i dont even have enough money for just the repairs alone. so, im just going to buy a new ds instead. i know that is not any cheaper, but i'm impatient and i really want to finish my file on the master quest!! dammit!!

9;25pm - i just found out i cant play any gamecube games on my laptop :( the emulator is slow and laggy which kind of sucks but i am able to play them on my phone! ive finished twilight princess three times now and im on my way to finish wind waker now, which is taking a bit but only because this is my firdt time finishing on my own with out my older brother lol its okie, im an adult (with a short temper but thats besides the point) i can do this just by looking up the quest part on either youtube or wikihow, ive done it for the heart collections on twilight. i can do it for the wind waker playthrough. which i have about 3 times so far. and i think i am doing pretty well! for my first play through by myself. i can see why i had little to no interest in it when my family actually owned the game. i only remember my older brother playing WW, the others played mario sunshine or smash bros (both are the best btw). so, i dont blame younger me for not having too much interest.

july 5,24 1:11am - SSOOOOOOO UUUUHHHHHH.......shit just got a bit chaotic today! we just found out that my brothers school isnt going to continue high school classes. so they will have to go sign up for another school, IN ANOTHER TOWN BY THE WAY. my mother and i have been mulling it over almost all day today, she says that she doesnt want my younger brother to be staying with any of our family members and i agree with her. lemme explain, one aunty of mine tends to be agressive, some times downright abusive, another aunty, emotions fly like a humming bird who drank nothing but espresso, on of my cousin has a child of her own to look after, same with my cousins sister and she has two kids, all of which my brother does not know very well and will be shy like me and not talk for a long while. make him feel like being comfortable but shy and quiet about it is bad. anyway, my mother is very iffy about sending him into town for his last year of school and i get it. the last time she did that with my older brother and shit hit the roof with him. he moved in with one of our aunty's place, stayed for a few months before finally moving out because said aunty was trying to take advantage of my brother temporarily looking after our spoilt ass nephew who looked and treated his cousins as literal maids. not only that, she tried to start a fight with him and our cousin fucking did nothing but make it worse. so yeah, i get why my mother doesn't want to send my little brother into town. why is my little brother's high school life so chaotic and none of it is even HIS fault?? like DAMN universe!! fucking take a goddamn chill pill when handling my litlle brother THANK YOU!! and for my older brother, FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE HE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY OR I IWLL THROW HANDS

anyway, this year has been one fckn crazy year for us, thats for goddamn sure.

july 8,24 6:35pm - i keep trying to play on the family dsi, i cant seem to stay on it long like i did with my 3ds. and i really miss my 3ds, i cant believe i have to buy another one and fucking save up for that. im planning on getting a screen protector, case and a little game case for the handheld consol. be more prepared this time and all. im just so mad the dsi is lasting longer than my fckn 3ds!! lmao just fckn RUDE! anyway, what i have in my little cart on ali express says it costs up to 205 for those things all together, i was going to look on amazon but i have doubt with their electronics and such, and it is more expensive as hell. so no thanks. i think i can wait until i have enough to buy those things for my new 3ds. i just keep onn looking at my old 3ds all sad that i cant play on it for all hours of my day. oh well, i can save up money for myself, so i can save up to get a replacement and possibly other accescories for my new ds kekekeke

i forgot to mention that i went to go hang out with my friends the other day, we had shrooms and edibles for the night, it was fckn fun and kind of upsetting lmao there were certain situations where i was questioning a lot, and other situation i just straight up did not like. other than that it was quite fun tripping pretty hard like that, however sleeping was freaking difficult lmao i was literally arguing with myself in my own head about getting to bed and sleep, i just flopped around and fucking giggled at myselef like, what the hell lmao

11:23pm - good this i double checked the 3ds for anything else that i am missing and now that ive done that, it wont turn on at all, itll just lightly beep at me almost like a whisper and then itll just shut off without the screen turning on. im even more sad lmao i cant wait till i have enough for the 3ds and the cases, i really want to finish my master quest on ocorina of time. this itch wont go away until i do. i should clean my room and start on the towels soon. the house is starting to look like a tornado went into our house and i so can tell that none of us are liking it so i am hoping that one or all of us finall gather our energy to clean up the house again. we need it and the pets really need it too. i know that the messyness is affecting us all to the point we \re getting cranky. so, yeah, we need to clean up. this will help my brain get over the guiltiness of buying myself this new handheld consol and the fact that i am using a little bit of my savings. i already have cashed out a couple moolas from the band office but no more than that. i still do not trust my little brother around my savings still. so ill be keeping some in my bank while slowly cashing them out when he doesnt know that i am going there or why. to which i only go to the band office during school days. speaking of, i still dont think that he wont be able to go and graduate on time unless i move to rupert. and if i do that, that may mean that ill have to talk to my alchoholic "dad" about helping me move to an apartment and then sign my little brother up to the highschool but the thing is, the school education there is way different than the one he is used to and grew up in. which sucks cause i was excited for him to gradutate. he only has one more year to go too! it sucks so much i wish the school is starting to get their shit together during this summer cause MY GOD!! this is ridiculous. almost no teachers in highschool? i stilll cant get over that!!! any way this will be the last journal entry for a bit, good night/day readers!