#these fictional people are my whole life
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Hello hello I started following you after seeing your wonderful LeGuin art, and I was really curious about your novel as well, if you’d be willing to share a little bit about it…👀
Oooooooh, thank you so much!!!!! 🥺 Omg, my novel… Thank you for asking this question. Tbh I can talk about it for hours, but I’ll do my best to be concise.
Disclaimer: I mostly write in Spanish, which is my native language, and the novel is far from being completed (I'm currently at around 25% of the first draft of the first book). So don't expect to find it in the shelves of your local bookshop any time soon, sorry...
Anyways, I actually believe my story is partly inspired by Ursula K. Le Guin’s work. I first read The Left Hand Of Darkness when I was around 23, which was also the time I started to develop stories of my own (mostly through GMing), and also got heavily interested in human evolution and anthropology. And I know LHOD had a heavy influence on me (on how I understand gender and humanity, for instance). So it would make sense that there is some of it in my work.
The story I'm working on will probably be a bilogy or trilogy. It explores the theme of two different human groups making contact with each other after being isolated for hundreds of thousands of years (at this point they’re two different species). It’s epic fantasy with a substantial science component (mostly anthropology and cell biology) and delves deep into colonialism, genocide, faith, trauma, queerness and empathy.
Now, to the juicy stuff. There are two main characters: Delshed and Vahna.
Delshed is a military officer from the Celestial Empire. After years hating what his job has made him do, he has left the army to pursue diplomacy. However, he is called back to it and tasked with the mission to eradicate the ‘demons’ that are attacking the empire’s eastern border. He then says: well okay let’s go they’re demons they have no soul so I can go kill them with my mind at peace (he is very religious, and celestial faith states all souls are sacred, hence his conflict with his own occupation). The problem is the enemy is way harder to fight than anyone had expected, and his soldiers pay the price. Which tears him apart. And let's say he doesn’t have the healthiest coping mechanisms in the world.
Here’s an old sketch of the problematic yet handsome man:

On the other hand, Vahna (she/they), whose name is Keahane at the start of the novel, is a warrior of a Heruze clan, aka one of the ‘demons’ that are attacking the empire. When the Celestials first arrived to their native land, the Heruze were massacred and displaced, and now they’re cornered into a barely inhabitable mountain range, hiding and slowly dying from hunger. So they decide to try and take back their land. Their advantages are: 1) the empire has mostly forgotten them and 2) they have the power to grow and modify the tissues in their own bodies at will. Keahane is a bleeder (one of the 3 Heruze genders), an expert at body modification, and one of their best warriors. However, horrified after being ordered to kill a whole family from the empire, they do something that is forbidden for their gender: voicing their opinion. They are then banished from the clan and stripped from their name (the worst possible punishment for their people). Their whole arc then revolves around finding out who they really are and what they want.
Here's a sketch of Intensity Queen aka Vahna:

So the story starts with a war between these groups, which leads to Delshed and Vahna unexpectedly clashing in the battlefield. The central point of the novel is how they, instead of killing each other, end up bridging the gap that exists between them and, after much conflict, become a sort of precarious link between the two species. Which ends up spiraling into a revolution that will rattle the predatory foundations of the empire itself.
You may have seen other characters in my pieces. Such as Isenjat, one of Delshed’s officers and also his best friend. She is totally on board with eradicating the Heruze because one of them killed her first love and left her with permanent injuries that turned her life into a nightmare. She can be an insufferable spite-driven asshole sometimes but I love her.

And the other icon I draw the most is Tairitz, who appears quite late in the story, but also has me obsessed. He's a musician and a storyteller, of an ethnic minority absorbed by the empire long ago. He has lost everything yet somehow manages to be the emotionally healthiest and most deconstructed member of the cast. As an anarchist, he will be more than happy to join a revolution. It may pose a bit of an internal conflict if he falls for the imperial prince tho. Which he totally won't.

As you may have guessed, most of the cast is queer. I really really wanted an ace protagonist who would manage to have beautiful romantic relationships in which their identity is not only respected but honoured, and that is Delshed. Vahna, through the discovery of her own identity, allows me to question the whole construct of gender. And I don't know, I was craving complex and beautiful stories about queer people healing together and making the world a better place. There aren't that many in fantasy (although thankfully that's changing).
If you've read through all this, you have my eternal gratitude. I love these characters with my whole heart and they are the thing that has kept me going through very dark times. 🥺
Once again, thank you for asking. 🧡
#ask#original story#writing#novel#original characters#original charater art#fantasy#artists on tumblr#thank you for coming to my ted talk#these fictional people are my whole life#who doesn't love a bunch of traumatized queers trying to fix the world
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art/patrick + old childhood best friends motif
#challengers#art x patrick#art donaldson#patrick zweig#artrick#*#this whole concept...i am sick over it you have no idea.#it will always make me go feral in fiction#i'm sorry it's so long idk if anyone's gonna read it but it's my bday today#and i've been thinking of all the people i used to love who aren't in my life anymore#fire and ice
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#alanwakeedit#alan wake#alan wake 2#ilkka villi#*#mk.op#mk.edit#mk.gifs#don't ask me why i'm hyperfixating on this moment#mostly drunk i'm sittin ghere just reminiscing on alan wake#like i've known him my whole life#i've known him for like. a year and a fucking half#i keep thinking about The Other Guy#i keep thinking about my life#and how i depend on fictional characters to project on to pretend it's more exciting and more devastating than it actually is#relating to these tragedies when like do i really have the right you know?#even in my real life#my suffering does not even come close to the others i'm close to#so what right do i have to complain?#does that aid in the argument that i shouldn't be here#that my existence is a mistake a joke for people to laugh about#all i know#is that i seem to latch on to the visage of certain charcters for some reason#whether it be that i want to be them#or extenuate their suffering#for some sick reason maybe to try and convince myself 'yes it can be worse so just be grateful' or#'they suffered and made it through. so can you'#(which i've always thought after csi 5x25 so....what am i doing here)#(why am i doubting myself)#but anyway. ilkka's pretty isn't he
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For my current longfic, I've been having fun making up my own comparative biology stuff for elves. The most recent one that's tickling me (inspiration from any_open_eye's work for this one) is that human penises are, uh, significantly larger than elven ones. (Human penises are actually weirdly large in our world-- compared to other animals, and definitely other primates, we're disproportionate).
Which is going to make it hilarious when my elven main character finally gets in Emmrich's pants and finds his jusssst-above-human-average 6" cock... which is the elven equivalent of finding out your lover is packing 8". (For people used to the typical and rather generous self-reporting of size: that's the 99.9th percentile folks. Get a thousand very excited men in the same room and this dick will be the longest.) (Don't worry about my search history, don't-- don't worry about it.)
She isn't even a bigger=better person. She's going to be SO taken aback and I'm going to have so much fun writing it.
#and then they're going to have a very fun time about it.#emmrich volkarin#dragon age#emmrook#emmrich x rook#rook x emmrich#isolde#someone please ask me about more comparative biology facts. it ain't deep but i'm having fun and i'm vibrating about it#i know too many facts about how humans are deeply fucking weird and i will be pointing this out at every juncture.#good use of my biology degree.#reading research papers on dick size and then calculating standard deviations. as one does.#ironically i collaborated with a guy whose specialized subfield was sperm competition. the weary face he made when people asked questions#was so funny to me. right up until you started to ask genuine ones and he lit up. and started talking about the most fucked up things#you have ever heard in your life. about bird fuckin'. and then humans if you were chill about it#i had a crush on him which made the whole situation even funnier.#ANYWAY.#the continued adventures of putting too much thought into a fictional middle aged man's dick#these shenanigans are even funnier because like. size isn't even my thing. at all.
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Obsessed with characters who lead double lives and there’s always a debate over wether their true identity is their alter-ego or their civilian identity when in actuality their true identity is a secret third thing (a combination of the two identities along with a few other ingredients and this character is lucky if they know this third identity themselves let alone having one or two loved ones who are also familiar with this third, true identity)
#this is mostly about#kara zor el#from#cw supergirl#but also applies to characters like#artemis crock#from season 1 of#young justice#and#spiderman#but also just superheroes and other people with secret identities in general#superheroes#marvel#marvel comics#mcu#dc comics#kara danvers#supergirl#why yes I have been struggling with something subconsciously my whole life and been using fictional characters to cope#how could you tell?#merlin bbc#bbc merlin
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So The Bear ends season 2 with Carmy fucking up his pretty serious relationship with Claire. They spent an entire season developing this relationship between Carmy and Claire, and now it's over, and not just over, but abruptly and painfully over. Throughout this same season, they continue to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, incorporating undeniable nods toward an eventual romance.
Then in season 3, they have Carmy dealing with the fallout of his painful fuckup, that ended a relationship that was, as I said, pretty serious, and was developed over the course of an entire season. They do this while continuing to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, and while their interactions are mostly tense this season, they continue to incorporate blatant nods toward an eventual romance.
This is happening at the same time they have opened a restaurant, and Carmy is under enormous pressure, pressure that has been made worse by his breakup. Pressure to make the place a success, to live up to his potential, but also to make sure that Tina has an income, that he gives Marcus's mom what she wanted for Marcus, that Ebra, elderly and at the point where he really needs to be retiring, continues to have a job, that he doesn't endlessly waste his uncle's money, and crucially, so that the restaurant can earn that star Sydney is dreaming of, and that Carmy didn't even want.
And yet there are people genuinely criticizing The Bear for not canonizing SydCarmy this season, when...?
The man just went through a devastating breakup -
At the same time he opened a goddamn restaurant -
And is clearly going through the crisis of a lifetime -
And on top of that, he's just quit smoking.
Do you think, in real life, that it's realistic someone in that situation would immediately turn around and start seeing someone else? Do you think the writers would have spent a whole season developing Carmy's relationship with Claire, just for Carmy to shrug it off like it was nothing when it ends?
I'm even more baffled by the idea that SydCarmy not becoming canon this season is because the writers this whole time, have just been, what? Fucking with you? Straight-baiting you? Or do you think that just because they didn't canonize SydCarmy this season that this is indicative that they didn't intentionally allude to a future romance between Syd and Carmy?
I will tell you right now that The Bear is one of the most purposefully written shows I've ever seen. And while I will say that this season might be the weakest so far and wasn't what I was hoping for either - Nothing on that show is an accident. Nothing means nothing.
The writers of The Bear are too good to have accidentally implied SydCarmy was a thing. They are also far too dedicated to their vision for The Bear for them to be throwing things in just to fuck with you.
Have some patience maybe? When was the last time you watched a show that didn't hand you something the moment it was hinted at? Aren't you tired of watching shows that skip to the good part? Which is, as a result, not as good as it would have been?
#the bear#sydcarmy#I don't know I'm just venting#I had my own criticisms of this season but man#I felt like I was being punked when I realized how many people feel slighted sydcarmy isn't canon yet#and then on top of that there's like a lot who have decided that I guess this means it was all about platonic love the whole time?#and I'm sorry but#there would be nothing wrong with Syd and Carmy being friends#but the writing devices being used in this show to develop their relationship and inform our understanding of who they are to each other#are explicitly romantic#there is no other way to read it from just a narrative standpoint#obviously in real life friends can look like anything.#But in fiction friendship and romance are both written about very differently.#Might not always be that way but as of right now it is and the bear generally isn't about challenging those dynamics or our understanding#of what constitutes them. It's not subverting our understanding of platonic or romantic love. That's not what the show is about.
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i don’t normally have nerves about posting stuff but i gotta say after the reddit thing im like….. experiencing anxiety about the last part of persephone. like oh man the idea of people reading this fills me with profound dread
#lost almost all motivation to actually bang it out which is also not ideal#idk ig it was such a silly reason for people to get so upset and yet……#this is not a pity party. just an explanation for why it’s taking longer#idk id prepared for some pushback but this whole experience was so absurd. never in my life did i expect to get death threats#over someone calling out a fictional character on his bs
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bro the if community is so toxic and for what
#readers/followers try respecting the author of an if challenge level impossible!#people are so sweet on here but then there’s that loud minority…#so gross get a life#like dafuq who do y’all think you are#and to the if authors I respect y’all so much#you have my whole heart and i’m cheering you on fuck then haters#interactive fiction
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I know Tumblr hates links, but I wanted to go ahead and plug the story I've been working on for the past couple of months (Now featuring awesome cover art by @pasta-n00dles !!). Do you like polyamory? Do you like messy romance between women who want to kill each other? Fairies? Knights? A wonky magic system? Pact Keeper might be worth a read! Check it out:
#my stuff#pact keeper#five chapters are out but i have chapter outlines for the whole book#updates are weekly-ish but I have a job and a life and stuff so#Please be nice I've never let other people read my writing before lol#fiction#fantasy#romance#lesbian#uhhhh what are other relevant tags#book
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you guys know that instead of complaining that there's too much hate for a character in the main tag, you can just. make positive content and posts about that character yourself and block the negative tags right. you know this is a thing you can do. right
#the amount of people i have seen complaining about keefe haters is ridiculous. like stop i'm serious#“hate is negative and makes nobody feel good” WRONG!!!! hating a FICTIONAL character is actually therapeutic you should try it sometime#also idk man i'm having the time of my life here YOU'RE the one that won't shut up about people constantly hating on your fave#which of us seems more miserable to you. hmmmm?#also fyi my blog is only about 25% keefe hate posts and i'm probably(?) the most prolific spreader of keefe hate on this site#so if MY blog isn't even mostly keefe hate then i assure you keepblr as a whole is NOT mostly keefe hate posts#stop whining about what other people are doing and make your own content. or use the block button#also tumblr does not hate keefe. 3.3%. that's how many people on keepblr have a negative opinion of keefe#and keefe positive posts (when they happen) also consistently get more notes than keefe negative ones so like shut up#despite this you don't see keefe haters complaining that too many people like keefe or that too many people like pro keefe content#atp you're just mad keefe haters exist. lmfao. sorry can't help you with that one#you are pulling evidence out of your ass idk what imaginary enemies you think you're fighting. stop acting entitled#you guys on this site need to seriously stop acting like keefe hate is some sort of disease that only child haters engage in#i am criticizing ink on a page it is NOT that deep. keefe is NOT a teenager he is a FICTIONAL character written by an ADULT woman#i am. in fact. holding an ADULT accountable every time i criticize keefe's poor writing#maybe the reason there's so little keefe positive content is because all the keefe lovers are too busy complaining about keefe hate hmm?#okay rant over goodbye now#sorry i have just seen so many posts recently with this sentiment and it is pissing me off. leave us alone#kotlc fandom#keepblr
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I have this fear where if you show signs of liking me a lot I’ll try and please you in whatever way I can until those signs stop. Once you start acting disinterested I get scared that you don’t like me anymore and that im just not good enough
#my entire life has been a compition of me trying to win the affection of others so I can feel like I mean something#that’s why I get so upset when other people selfship with my f/os.#I feel like I’m not good enough for them so I try and be better then everyone else but at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter#because they aren’t real#I’ve always relied on fiction to love me because I could never find it in myself to love me#I’ve been bullied my whole life so now I think that im actually the worst person ever#that I don’t deserve anyone or anything#I just want to be loved 🙁#I wish people cared about me
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Not that there should ever be anything Twitter does better than any other platform, but at least the 'Mute this person for everything except for the art you actually followed them for' function was S-tier when it worked because some people on here really like to talk shit about self-made problems and act like their art is enough for people to suffer through shitty takes.
#no people participating in fandom isn't bad as a whole; what IS bad is people treating fictional shite like it's real life#for every 'this show set in Hell is bad because it's not how I would do it' post I see where the OP doesn't even TRY#to talk about other IPs set in Hell#I'm about to start handing out badges that say 'I'm pretty much the same thing as a Disney shill except my immovable hurdle#is actually watching other media based on my favored concept except for what's popular'#No one hates you because you redesigned a popular character#they hate you because you're being up your own ass about it#take this unfollow and stop being annoying as fuck; I follow way too many good CHILL artists#for YOU to be the one to stink up the room
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i binged "nobody wants this" today because I was home sick and I'm 100% sure that "the good place" is still a better rom-com
#i'm willing to be wrong! i know they've been renewed!#but it feels so shallow so far#people should change in a rom-com. that's kind of the whole point. that's kind of the whole point of fiction.#eleanor becomes a more thoughful ethical person. chidi becomes a more confident calmer person.#i guess you could argue that joanne becomes more open to being less open about her life in her podcast? but clearly that doesn't last#and i'm not sure how noah changes in the course of knowing joanne#don't get me wrong. i love seeing an intelligent confident man who knows how and when to apologize on my screen#i just wish there was a little bit more to his character than that?#they sort of touch on the importance of tradition and ceremony of noah's religion which was good. but they never went deep with it#idk with the setup in the pilot of joanne being an “unfiltered complicated vulnerable beautiful woman” i thought they would#break that down in the course of the first season (which they kind of do in 1x04)#i don't know. i also wanted noah to call joanne out on her sh*t more. some of the stuff she does is bad! she violates his privacy!#she assumes he's lied to her! and yeah they talk about it like grownups but part of being a grownup is being accountable!#maybe that'll change in s2. who knows#the good place#nobody wants this#(also something about kristen bell playing extremely complicated women with old-fashioned names? two nickels etc etc)
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friend outed me as a wincest shipper to her mother?
#idk i feel like if youre talking and somehow someone brings up that you ship wincest and your friends are like ew wtf#and then one of their moms walks in and asks what you were talking about there should be a social understanding that you should say Nothing#and not “he thinks two brothers should kiss”#would love to have lived my whole life without her knowing that about me thank you!#but it's whatever. i can only assume they've already forgotten about this#although honestly going back i think we should also not judge people so hard for what they think about fictional characters. it's not like#think that irl incest is okay or condone it#well. i do think that [redacted] but THAT'S NOT THE POINT#finn says shit#kind of sick of every time someone brings up wincest having to be like “well i don't have to like it to see the subtext”#well guess what. i DO like it. i think those brothers kissing is hot. what are you going to do about it#sighs heavily
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crying my eyes out with tears of joy 2sung really said "here look true love really can happen even in your mid 20s and does exist and it can be as normal and simple and as lovely as this" for all us asian queers out there like .......
#u dont get it yes its one thing to watch it in fiction but to see real life asian queer people fall so truly madly perfectly in love .....#as over 20s working adults ... like. I CANT EVEN TELL U HOW SPECIAL IT IS. TRULY TO FEEL SO SEEN.#ive NEVER had this my whole entire life and now as someone who is junsung's age i just feel so ... MUCH. so OVERWHELMED.#i cant explain it I CANT. 14 year old me would have NEVER thought id get to see this on TV. EVER. god. GOD.#his man 2#faiza talks
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