#these dumb gay girlies

[personalshredder]

Wonky eyed gays

[strategicjazzhands]

[usercelestial]

i genuinely think i might kill myself

[4bonniecollins]

Please only the ones that are serious should text me I need a serious relationship 💕😍 with a serious man who wants to get married

[eliot-eclipse]

[boybasher]

Stupid Slvt 🔞 (my manic pixie dream girl dark poetry reading and priscilla presley fashion lookbook)

[dunyaandco]

im alive and here's proof

[anoodleyqueer]

u guys ever meet someone who feels so incredibly gay and yet identifies as straight to the point where u feel like god just forgot to give them an awakening

[axolkitkat]

((rant about something that just happened, long post))

dude the most insane interaction ive ever had in a roleplay just happened-

okay, so i join this roleplay, right? it's a family roleplay. pretty standard stuff, doesn't seem to have started yet.

so I pick a role, then find my room, right? pretty basic, cute pink princess bed with some cute pink heart wall lights and a balcony with a table and chairs- pink, of course. i'm mentioning this because it's important later.

so i hop into the bed for a second to go afk. when i come back, this lady- she's a friend of the roleplay host, so she has 'build', she can change the building and the colors and the furniture and etc. but anyways, this lady just randomly deletes my princess bed and replaces it with a grey one? so i ask her, "hey, why are you changing up my room?" and she's like "idk" which is... a pretty common response in these types of games. so she continues taking all of the stuff down- including just deleting the balcony altogether?? wth??

so i keep pressing her, and she reveals that she's taking all of this stuff down because she thought that I thought it was "too girly."

she didn't even ask for my opinion before she started. she just came in and *decided* that it was too girly for me.

so we argue a bit, her friend comes, she explains to her friend that "i was just tryna help him" (this oc that i was playing used he/they) "and he got mad". w-what? huh?! you didn't even ask for my opinion. you have to ask for these kinds of things, and you didn't. plus, this is my room, not yours, so...?

so- man, i dont even remember the full sequence of what happened next, but ill try to explain:

so they head downstairs, i think to get the host involved or something? i come down there too, i dont want them to warp the story and i know they will, and if i'm there they may listen to me. maybe.

so- i dont remember what exactly led up to this, but i think not long after that the lady lies to her friend and says that I was, like, trying to convince her to let me be her boyfriend? how was this even related to what was going on?? why would you lie about that?? I explain, "uh, no, first of all, this oc is gay, second of all, I did not say that." And she's like [to her friend] "nono he said this out of roleplay!!!!11!!11"

"...uh, no, again, I didn't say that, please don't twist the story. Also i'm aroace so LOL" and her friend's like "hell does aroace mean?" and I have to explain it to her but roblox censors get in the way so i have to reword it :/

so I say, "so... yeah, they [the lady, didn't know her pronouns at the time] lied, aaaand i didn't say any of that boyfriend stuff and I don't know why they would say that?"

so, of course, they respond with: "they?? :skull: [the lady]'s a she"

"oh, okay, thank you for correcting me, noted."

"i have no faith in this generation :skull:"

What. What is this supposed to mean?? I'd wager there's a fair chance you're part of said generation??

and then the host leaves, causing the roleplay to instantly close. :p

sorry for the giant story dump, i just need to get this off of my chest before I forget. I'm quite upset, but mostly I'm just baffled, to be honest. also, sorry if it's a bit confusing and the wording is kinda weird, it's hard to retell events (for me, anyways,) when they just happened and you're scrambling to remember all that just happened.

[sputniksweethe4rt]

I don’t want to find small fragments of who you used to be everywhere i go anymore.

[nomaishuttle]

harvey just said to me "I'd like to get to know you better, Sanctity. Let's put aside our doctor-patient relationship." HIS ASS IS NOT FOLLOWING HIPAA GUIDELINES!!

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

long nails? no problem

paring: p.b. x fem! reader

summary: based off this request!!

im so sorry that my reqs have been taking so longgg. my writing has been so SHITT and ive just hated everything ive tried to write. honestly dont like this that much but I had to post for my babies so. NOT PROOFREAD YALL ALREADY KNOWW

————

You weren’t the type to get super long nails considering the fact that you were a short nail girly at heart. (and gay) But something came across you making you want a tiny change.

You saw the cutest XL set on pinterest and you just had to get it. So you sent it over to your nail tech and she said you could come the next day at 3.

Now here you were on your way to your techs house at 2:40.

my dumb blonde: Sent $100

note: for ur nails 💗😘

You chuckle at the notification knowing she doesn’t know what you were getting would bother her just a little. You type a quick respond and put the car in drive.

thank you pretty💗💗

————

The sound of the front door creaking open causes Paige to jump off the couch and run towards the door. She stops in her tracks when she looks down to see that your nails are longer than usual. You notice her looking and speak up, “Ya like?” You hold your hands up wiggling your eyebrows.

Paige walks closer and grabs your hands to get a closer look. She begins to pout, “Babyyy” She whines. You giggle, “Im sorryy, they were too cute NOT to get them” You shrug your shoulders and give her a sympathetic tight lipped smile.

You begin to walk towards the kitchen to set your things down while Paige walks back to her spot on the couch. “Remind me to send me your change” You say looking into the fridge. Paige hums in response and continues to look at her phone.

You quickly close the fridge and turn to face Paige, “I know you’re not giving me the silent treatment” You say rolling your eyes in a joking manner. Paige looks at you but doesn’t respond. You begin towards her sitting on her lap. She immediately tenses up.

You lean down and whisper in her ear, “You know I dont just have to use my fingers right?” Paige shivers as your cool breath touches her ear. “Show me then.” She says huskly, causing you to immediately get up and lead her to the bedroom.

————

use ur imagination for the rest 🥰 (im sorry i js CANT write smut)

[chaosandmarigolds]

Reader, baby EMT: oh! Wheezing! I heard wheezing

Simon, a tired of this shit paramedic: yeah how do you figure, he's dead.

Reader: ..

Reader: u-um.

-

Johnny, an AEMT: so all gots do is turn on ya lights (leans over the dah and turns on the lights) and weewoos (turns on sirens) an laws don't mean shit to us

Reader, on their training shifts: im scared

Simon, in the back trying to take a nap: we're going to a LOW FUCKING SODIUM TURN OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS

--

Price, in the monthly meetings: and who keeps taking the pulse ox's? I know you all aren't dumb.

Johnny, who keeps leaving them on Pt's: ...

Reader: Kyle. I saw him take some fent from the lock up too.

Kyle: HEY???

--

Simon: hi I'm a paramedic with ____ whats going on?

Pt, a booktok girly: do- (anaphylaxis heave) you always (heave) the mask on?

Reader, drawing up Epi: he's gay

Pt: 🥺

Simon: what

--

Reader: you see if i ever break my leg on shift-

Simon, an LT: did we tell you to not do the stupid thing?

Reader: like...break my leg? No?

Simom: dont break your leg. There now you can't get workers comp.

Reader:

Johnny, with his mega sized monster: he did that to me too when I passed out.

[gassydumbjocks]

Virilite 1:

Boys will be boys

Ever since I spiked my nephew Liam's beer with a strange pill I found online when he and my brother came to watch a football match, that boy has been acting like a man, as he should.

You see, my brother Noah had a son who, don't get me wrong, I love this boy with all my soul, but god damn he had to grow up and start acting like what he was, a dude, always wearing those girly crop tops and tight-fitting jeans with bright colors because "that's who he was", I admit that I was clearly upset when he revealed to the family that he was gay, but even so I couldn't do anything and neither could Noah, so we decided to accept him as he was, until I found a way to... make him act as he should.

While looking at online articles I found this article online that was supposed to be some pills that could have an effect on the behavior and actions of the person that took them, yes, I know, very science fiction-like, still, what caught my attention was the name and objective of the pill, "Virilite" was its name, and it promised to also have an effect on the levels of testosterone produced in men, which ended up convincing me to buy it.

The instructions were simple, put them in the drink or food that said man was going to consume, once ingested the guy would enter an immediate state of trance, able to only follow the orders that another person suggested in his mind, there were even images of test subjects boys who I assume took the pill, they all had a relaxed yet funny expression, eyes crossed and some even with tongues sticking out like dogs, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Liam looking like that.

Just as i was now, immediatly after i got Liam to drink it after offering him a beer, he letted out an involuntary loud and guttural deep belch, which from what i knew and readed online was a sign that the pill already took effect, i had Liam in front of me with a dumb smile and an eye-crossed, glazed over look, like that huge burp just took away all his thoughts and personality.

After the first 5 minutes of calling his name and getting no response, i actually started to worry, he couldn't stay as a brainless zombie-like dumbass all his life, and Noah would find out and kill me for it, i tried to remember, i took the pill's container and readed again the instructions.

"Ohh, so i have to, uh, kinda program him?" i said and then i thought of things i could make him do, i certainly bought those pills to make the kid more like a man... So, hell, what a man i would mold out of him.

I heard him let out a dumb chuckle still with that goofy smile from before, i smirked and approached "Liam, buddy, you hear me champ, you hear uncle Dave?" i asked to make sure he could indeed hear me, he slowly nodded and let out some hiccups "great, cuz we got a lot of work to do on you, and im sure you'll love it" i say.

I think of the first command to give him, they suggest to use short and simple commands, there are plenty of manly things he needs to learn, but i think i can cover up basic stuff, i remember Noah and me asking him to join us in our protein farting contests when we relaxed in our man cave watching our team, while Liam just grimaced and waved his hand, saying it was immature and gross, i would make him change his opinion, so it was obvious what would be the command "Liam...fart, loudly and proudly, c'mon" i literally order him to fart, i just wanted to test the effectiveness of the command obeying.

Without hesitation, he lifts his right leg as high as he can, leaving his butt in the air, before a barrage of gas goes out his butt.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Its so strong, big and beefy, even for me, i have to wave the smell and open a window nearby "good lord boy! Where in the hell did you got all that gas from!?" i ask impressed, and try to recover before continuing "ok ok lets keep up!, umm, belch, a nice deep man belch" i say, waiting for it.

I didn't even have to wait when he was already patting his chest and squinting an eye to help the gas release.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPP!!!

And holy fuck, if Liam was concious, he'd know that beast burp would have easily beat his old man and me in our oftens belch offs, the pill was clearly making a miracle on him.

I was admitidly having fun on my nephew making all the stuff he found "gross" and "immature" under a pill's control, i gave him another command, just to get a good laugh "Liam, do some armpit farts, but in the last one, you'll ask me to pull your finger, you'll let out a monster fart, got it?" i asked and he nodded again, he then started with the manly symphony, he took a hand down one of his pits and started to produce the nasty sounds.

PPPPPRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRTT

PPPPPPPRRRRRTT

I saw him stop and put hand on his gut, then he talked goofily "uncle, pull my finger" he asked dumbly before laughing and extend his hand at me, i gladly accepted "oh of course kiddo, let me help you with that" i smirked and pulled it hard, unleashing the beast gas he had stuck in his rump.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

An ABSOLUTELY disgusting deep-ass and loud, nasty fart erupted from him, Liam never losing the crossed look on his face, as he hiked exaggerately his leg to force the fart out, i was shocked, but in the end, finally proud of him, i couldn't wait for Noah to see what he could do! We would think on more funny stuff to do at our just guys nights! After all, boys will be boys, right?

[dmfromtheblacklagoon]

It seems people really enjoyed the last headcannon post, so I have returned, this time with headcannons for the non-romanceable characters!

I love all of the characters in this game, and have created so many little dumb ideas for them, so here ya go!

We have confirmation that Linus came from a wealthy family, but put this life aside, donating his money to various charities and organizations to help others, and I like to imagine that he still enjoys working with these charities from time to time, whether this be shelter work, environmental care, or supporting other people!

Willy never had children, but took in Elliot as his own, teaching him everything he would need to know regarding the seas, and quickly takes in Farmer as well, after learning about their love for fishing.

Gus is a trans guy! I don't have any evidence for this, but I just adore Gus so much and need this in my life.

Gunther is a long-time DM, and runs a small group with some of the local teens, and maybe some of the adults! I feel like his fascination of antiques and old treasures has assisted his DMing skills, or possibly the other way around!

Kent has learned how to sew, knit, and garden in order to get closer with Jodi and the kids once he returned to Pelican Town. (He's trying to be a better dad, he already is such a good guy :])

Mr. Qi is quite close with both Sandy and Gus, considering them friends!

Pierre was a college dropout, yet still considers himself a "man of study", I'm sorry, I just can't see this man as anything but an arrogant asshole.

The Wizard is incredibly supportive of the queer folks in the town, and Farmer, and will offer help with anything. Gender change? He's got you. Voice manipulation? He's got the stuff. Just be careful if he invites you to share a pipe!

Marlon and the Wizard are the local salty gay couple, Statler and Waldorf style, and lurk in the back during the flower dance, taking the last dance for themselves.

Pam loves thrifting and going on antiquing sprees with Harvey, and she knows how to absolutely steal a deal, girlie would most definitely punch an old woman over an auction item.

This is all I have atm, but if you want more, please let me know!! I love making stupid little theories for the glorbos. :]

[certifiedsexed]

hi hi hi ik this isn't really a sex ed question but it's a queer question and i'm too afraid to google it. what exactly makes someone butch? i've been told i can't be butch cause my face/body are too feminine but i think your identity being dictated by how you were born is kind of bullshit in the queer community. i've got raggedy as hell short hair, i've never worn makeup a day in my life, and 90% of what i wear is a tanktop, shorts, and boots, the only thing differentiating me from butches i've seen recognized as such are that i'm kinda waifish and have a girly face. maybe it's mannerisms? i'll be the first to admit i'm upbeat but the idea that butches can't be cheerful also seems dumb. idk, i'm worried i'm overthinking this. i don't want to take t but i'd have been born less girly if i had a choice. i just can't tell if i'm inserting myself where i don't belong or if i've happened to meet a lot of people with weird ideas around queer women. your insight is appreciated oh certifiedsexed

Hi! Actually, information about sexualities and the like fall under sex education! Thanks for asking me!

Let me be clear, there isn't a list of categories you have to meet to be butch. It doesn't have to do with your body or personality.

The "butch" label is about a queer (or generally gay) connection to masculinity and/or a queer/gay presentation of masculinity: it's very common [and was born] in the lesbian/sapphic community but you can hear it thrown around in the general gay community as well, especially in older corners.

It's not a sexuality, though it can be a gender.

There are social aspects to the identity, specifically in the sapphic/lesbian community. It has very deep roots and a lot of associations that change depending on where you're from but the important part is that gay/queer connection to masculinity. The way you look/act doesn't really matter.

You're correct on the second option, it sounds like you've just met some people who have some weird ideas about queer women and identities associated with them.

The best person to learn about being butch is butch folks, so if you're looking to learn more about it, you should look up some writings and/or media created by butches! [I can provide some resources, if you're interested. <3]

Hope this helps! If you have anymore questions, let me know! <3