#these books can be shockingly funny when they want to

[ibrokeeverything]

I'm crying 😂 Timothy Zahn really wanted to make sure everyone knew that Anakin is a certified dumbass by including his butchering of Thrawn's name not only once, but twice

[yuri-is-online]

no cause the way you have filled my brain with sho brainrot,,,

baby acting like a mf guard dog for his favourite senpai, constantly wanting their attention 😭

LISTEN

I am so glad I waited to answer this for a teeny bit because I thought I was exaggerating at first because like. It was one voiceline right? WRONG. When you level him up he says "thank you senpai" and when I got his SR and slapped him onto my homescreen he does in fact try to get your attention and ask for help from his senpai. He's supposed to be this brash delinquent but he's shockingly respectful of one very specific senior even if he's just a bit sarcastic about it ugh.

Sho feels like he needs an excuse. He can't just ask to hang out with you because then it looks like you're friends, but if he's asking for a favor then you won't have a reason to say no. The Professors all want you to help out the ghouls so he can say just about anything and you'll jump at it, right? Yeah no that's not the real reason. He wants to have you to himself and if he words it like he needs help he can make excuses as to why you two need to be left alone.

Absolutely uses the fact that he can cook to his advantage. I think one of the main reasons Sho started liking the MC so much was because you supported his cooking. He seemed like he expected to be judged for it so when MC was just hungry and said his food was good? The only person he really seems to have cooked for up to this point is Leo (and Bonnie but she's special) so he wants that praise. And to hear you say he could charge money for it? Oh he was riding that high for ages. I feel like he already wanted to open some sort of cafe but really appreciated the support.

And it gives him the excuse to get you to stay around him longer when he asks for your help. Well he's going to cook anyway and you're hungry, so just stick around. He'll make something and pretend to complain about it but he likes feeding you. Well assuming you don't douse his food in hot sauce, though that won't stop him from making you stuff.

I really like the idea of him competing with the Frostheim ghouls idk why. I think MC should get to be good friends with Kaito and Luca and Sho should get to be a brat about it. Vagastrom and Frostheim already don't get along and he never got his fight with Lucas so yeah. He's super intense about how he's way better at protecting MC than they are, especially with Lucas. Part of it is because he feels guilty for going along with Leo's plan and almost getting you killed, he feels like he needs to prove that he's strong enough to not let that happen again.

Speaking of Leo... I sort of get the sense that Sho hides how much he hangs out with the MC from him. In book 3 Leo makes a bet that would see him getting Sho's food truck if he wins it so I sort of feel like if Leo knew Sho liked the MC he'd be insufferable about it. Honor Roll is stealing his best friend (¬､¬) how lame ugh. And he would try to sabotage it because he would find it funny, or even worse try to make Sho's friendship with you the cost of a bet. I could see Sho having nightmares about that.

Book 3. When Towa and MC go missing. I just know in my heart Sho was loosing his goddamn mind. Again I think he feels sort of guilty for almost getting you killed, and now that you aren't with his dorm you just go missing? Unacceptable where are you? How did Jabberwock fuck this up so badly holy shit. I wanna see him admit that he was worried about MC. I wanna know if he got into any arguments with the Frostheim ghouls while the professors forced them to stay behind.

... i kind of want him to argue with Jin. Like specifically Jin. For no reason other than it would be funny to me personally and like... Jin is the one who interrupted his fight with Luca so I just think it would be funny if they had beef.

I need to level his affinity more. I need to see more chats game please ;-; I love him shomuch.

[hellspawnmotel]

well you guys really called my bluff on this one, haha. I have a lot to say on the topic so this will probably turn into a long post but the answer really depends on this: what interests you about astro boy, pluto, and the franchise/tezuka's body of work as a whole? what do you want out of this experience?

if you're just looking for places to read/watch these things and that's it, I'll put some links here at the top so you don't have to dig through this whole mess.

you can read astro boy (original manga) here (there are occasionally missing pages on this website, if/when you run into those you can switch to this one which is harder to navigate but complete)

you can watch/download the 2003 anime (english sub) here

you can read naoki urasawa's pluto here

so you're interested in astro boy but aren't sure where to start: my opinion as someone whose point of view you respect for some reason

it didn't occur to me until recently that for a lot of people who follow me, your cultural touchstone for the concept of astro boy is most likely to be the 2009 american movie. I didn't watch that as a kid, I was 14 when it came out and fully into my "anime is superior to western animation" phase, but I've watched it now and well.... if you like it that's great! I did not. I'm not going to dwell on that, but I think it's worth noting that whatever your opinion on it as a movie is I don't really think it's a good representation of astro boy and its themes. moving on.

the manga

if you want the pure, unfiltered astro boy experience, this is as close as you're gonna get. it's gonna be a little haphazard though because the dark horse publication, which is probably the only way you're gonna find to read it in english, does not order the stories chronologically. I don't think that really matters because there's not a lot of continuity so as long as you understand the basic premise you can read in whatever order you want, and this puts a lot of really good stories first anyway so it's nice too. personally as far as all versions of astro boy proper go, the manga is my favorite. it's not always an easy read, for reasons I'll get into in a moment, and it's not always good either. some stories are phenomenal, some are just plain silly, and some are downright terrible. but given how long it ran for and how consistently and without breaks tezuka worked on not just it but all his other manga too I think that's too be expected. but even the bad ones I think are worth a look! this is the history of manga as a medium right here! and I love the manga, it's fun, funny, wonderfully drawn, compelling, shockingly dark at times, and just a fascinating read for those with an interest in classic comics.

all that said, I think it would be irresponsible of me to recommend it without also including a big fat disclaimer, which dark horse was kind enough to put at the front of the book.

if you have an interest or familiarity with classic/vintage manga, anime, comics, and cartoons, you probably saw this coming, but some of this shit gets REAL racist, most often in terms of how people are drawn. some of tezuka's biggest inspirations were the rubberhose american cartoons of the 20s and 30s, and all that implies. for whatever the opinion of a white american is worth, based on his writing I really do believe he had good intentions- he consistently speaks out against racism and bigotry in general, in astro boy especially. you can tell he was very passionate about it. but I'm not gonna defend the guy either, you can't be drawing people like that, even if it was the 40s-80s. a lot of the experience of getting into tezuka is reading a story where the moral is "racism is evil! end discrimination!" accompanied by straight up racial caricatures in the art. it's baffling and infuriating. if I could I would travel back in time and hire the man a sensitivity reader, but I can't, and he's been dead for 35 years so we'll never know what he would've done about it today. all we can do is take it as an opportunity to learn and do better. but, if all that puts you off getting into the manga or the series at large, I don't blame you!

with that out of the way, the size of the manga might intimidate you. there's a lot of it. lucky for you you don't have to read all of it if you don't want to! I've read the entire thing because I'm a completionist at heart, but I've had several friends come to me for a smaller and more manageable reading list, which is as follows:

(stars for my personal favorites, grimaces for "I did enjoy this one and I think it's worth reading but I don't feel good about recommending it". I also think "the artificial sun" and "atlas" are important reads if you're interested in the history of the franchise because they get referenced a lot, but they are VERY racist and I don't think theyre good enough overall to make them worth putting on the list despite that.)

that was long. next up:

the 2003 anime

I am not quite done watching this one but I'm pretty close so I feel confident in saying: on the whole, it's great! it looks absolutely fantastic for a tv anime from that era, the character and world design is top-notch, and overall it does a really good job adapting the best and most important parts of the manga into a continuous story, although it softens the blow of the darker moments quite a bit (which might be a good thing for you, depending on your tastes). it's pretty beloved by western fans, and for good reason.

I do have my issues with it, for one this might not be a popular opinion but I think they majorly screwed up on adapting the "greatest robot on earth" arc (my favorite arc btw, yes I might be salty), for another they really sand the edges off of uran's character compared to the manga and make her a lot more meek and girly. but that's just my opinion and if this show is the only one you've watched you wouldnt know that anyway. so don't let that deter you if you're interested, you'll be missing out on a pretty fantastic kids show.

so, if you're looking to really dive chest-first into astro boy as a franchise and understand all there is to know: maybe don't start with this one. it changes a lot from the source material and kind of does its own thing. but if you're just looking for a good story thats fun to watch and total eye candy, go nuts!

pluto

pluto by naoki urasawa is an adaptation/reimagining of astro boy's most famous and beloved arc, "the greatest robot on earth". it's also what got me into the franchise and one of my favorite manga ever! pluto reinvents the story as a detective thriller set in the aftermath of what is effectively, and obviously, the iraq war. it's brutal and harrowing, and beautiful and cathartic and hopeful. to me it is the gold standard for "dark and gritty reboot of a children's story" because urasawa adores tezuka and respects the original version, which was always a dark tragedy anyway, just presented differently. you might have seen pluto got an anime adaptation last year as well. I've watched it, it's pretty good! it doesn't change all that much (I don't like the few things they DID change but whatever) but I just think urasawa's artwork, paneling, and pacing are completely unmatched so I'd recommend the manga first. I'm not gonna be that asshole who insists you gotta read the manga over the anime though, if anime is easier for you you're better off having experienced pluto that way than not at all.

(if you ARE interested in both astro boy and pluto and are considering which to get into first, it's important to know that reading the arc pluto is based on will spoil a loooooot of things about the story. so weigh the pros and cons of that before making a decision!)

so, that's basically what I have to say. I haven't watched the 60s or 80s anime adaptations so I can't give insight on those, and I'm by no means an expert on any of this. I only started reading the original manga like three months ago and before that my memories of the other stuff was pretty faded, before I revisited it. if you're interested though I hope this helps, and I hope you enjoy yourself if you decide to take the leap! it's kind of a rabbit hole. I did not know what I was getting into when I decided to reread pluto, but I'm sure glad I did.

if you have any other questions about my personal opinions, feel free to shoot me an ask as well!

[forgeofthenine]

!! Gift giving !! What sort of gifts would the tieflings love to give? And what sort of gifts would they like to receive?

Thank you for the request Anon! I hope you enjoy the headcanons! <3

Tiefling gift giving headcanons

Dammon

No surprises here, Dammon will give you things he's made

Depending what you like it ranges all the way from weapons and armour to jewellery and cute ornaments

If he finds out your favourite animal he will make a cute little metal figure of it for you

This man is talented and has so much pride in his work, there's no better gift than something he's made

Absolutely swoons seeing you wear what he gave you

Never before has he felt these feelings because someone is wearing armour around him

As for giving Dammon gifts, give him something handmade!

It doesn't matter what it is

You could knit, sew, crochet, cook, write, paint, sing, bake...

The list honestly goes on and on

Just put your love into something handmade for him and he'll swoon

Happily accepts any gift you give him with a grin and a sweet kiss to your lips

Zevlor

Zevlor loves practical gifts

Don't be shocked if you get given food, new travel clothing, survival supplies, or a new weapon

He wants to make sure you're protected and comfortable, this is one of they ways he ensures this

Definitely takes your tastes into account

It's hard to complain about a man that brings you tasty food just out of the blue

As for gifting things to Zevlor

I've said this before and I'll say it again, please give him food

He needs a reminder to eat most some of the time

For other things, I feel like Zevlor would appreciate a good travel pack or tent while you're both on the road

When you've settled down, please give him flowers on the regular

They aren't practical but he blushes so sweetly and he cherishes them

Zevlor gets a special vase and everything

Rolan

This man gives you so many books-

You both share a huge library in Ramaziths tower and he certainly helps you fill it

He keeps track of your favourite genres too, it's shockingly accurate how well Rolan picks books for you

If scented candles are a thing in bg3 then he'll give you those too

He likes spoiling you a little by giving you a nice drink, a new book, and the loveliest scented candle you can imagine

Just to get this out of the way, Rolan blushes every time you give him something

I'm not sure if this is considered an actual gift or not, but give him a massage

Rolans shoulders are so unbelievably tight

No I'm not projecting...

Just really help him work out those knots in his muscles

Find him books too

Rare books, new books, funny ones, magic tomes

He loves a good book, especially if it was picked out by you

Rolan loves being gifted a nice bottle of wine too, for special occasions

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

Ian the masseuse and Mickey has a shoulder thing

omg hello? wait this has such good commission potential if anyone wants to bite, buuuuuuuut until then 😈

mickey, who usually ignores his own health, but his shoulder's kind of fucked up. he doesn't expect much from the spa joint mandy suggests, but he's recently come into some money and if it sucks, he'll just hit the bricks and get drunk or something.

turns out the place is pretty cool and the room they put him in has dimmed lighting and nice music and it's fine he guesses. he might stay. but then the little knock on the door happens and he grunts for the lady to come in and.......wow fucking hell-o. this is who's gonna massage his shoulder?

because bro is built. a broad chest and big hands and he fixes mickey with this disarming smile that completely upstages the soft, stretchy clothes he's wearing and suddenly mickey is very interested in staying.

there's some small talk. a little awkward on mickey's part. but his name is ian and he's gonna take care of mickey's shoulder and they really just let someone this hot walk around in here, huh? no warning or anything? this isn't one of those massage joints is it? not that mickey would mind.

they start off slow. ian has mickey sit on the edge of the padded table and asks him where the pain stems from. he listens very intently. rounds to the other side and starts gingerly touching all along mickey's shoulder muscles, asking things here and there. "you've definitely got some tension here. did something happen?"/"yeah, got hit by a Honda."/"Ha ha. .......oh, you're not joking."

and mickey's never been to a masseuse but there's something weirdly...like...medical about it. not in a bad way. at all. just the terms ian is using. how he rounds the table and steps kinda in between mickey's spread thighs and tells him he's gonna check his range of motion, one big hand settled over his shoulder, the other high under his arm, helping him stretch up to the ceiling.

and don't get him wrong. mickey is like...a literal second away from being fully bricked up at the spa, but he's just gotta ask. "you a doctor or some shit?"

and ian kinda freezes a second. a little hiccup, his hands still on him. then, "on route to physical therapy," he says, kind of proudly. "thought i'd dip into massage therapy while i'm studying. you know, for the cash." which is cool. explains a whole bunch of shit. but, "it's...shockingly dissimilar."

and mickey's gotta chuckle. "when'd ya figure that out?"

"bout three minutes into my interview demo here."

so it's good times all around. they're friendly. mickey likes this dude and feels more than comfortable with his hands all over him and unless his radar is busted, he's pretty sure ian's into him to. so when his appointment is done, to say he's disappointed and chomping at the bit for more interaction is an understatement.

he asks about booking another session. if they can make sure they get paired up again. ian does this smile that makes mickey wanna tear into the massage table with his teeth and then goes. "i also do home visits, if that's something you're interested in."

mickey is so interested in that. he's not interested in a single thing other than that, actually. "home visits?"

"yeah. got a table and everything. i mean...it's not really tied to this place though," he admits, "more of a personal practice."

and holy fuck, if you don't think mickey is getting his name down in that personal planner, you are out of your goddamn mind.

hell yeah he's gonna get a home visit from hot, funny masseuse ian. especially if that's a proposition he's picking up in his tone when he says mickey could help him practice some different techniques.

[deathtodickens]

Later...

Claudia: Why do you look like that, man?

Pete: I can't get this bronzer to come off.

Claudia: Did you get the temporary stuff?

Pete: Tem... porary?

Claudia: Dude.

Pete: Huh, well that explains that.

Claudia: Why do you even have it on to begin with? And so much?

Steve enters the kitchen, stops and stares at Pete.

Steve: Who won an Oscar?

Claudia laughs, pointing at Pete.

Pete: Ha ha very funny.

Claudia: It was.

Pete: Hey, leave the jokes to a professional, okay? Of which, I am.

Steve: Not at all shockingly, you truly believe that.

Pete: It's the first day of October. I'm just trying out a few costumes before the 31st, to see if I can get H.G. back into the spirit of Halloween.

Steve: I wish you were lying.

Claudia: Do we want H.G. back in the spirit of Halloween? I recall the last Halloween that she was into being a bit too spirity.

Pete: Of course, we do--

Steve: Not. We absolutely do not. Do you not remember what happened?

Pete: Yeah, we all went on an amazingly awesome adventure in the Warehouse, together, as a family. We fought off animated Halloween decorations that stalked us in the dark. Myka used the zip-line upside-down like a bad ass to save her wife from encroaching darkness. And then we blew up every light in the warehouse to level an army of murderous, soul-snatching plastic skeletons--

Steve: That took us days to clean up...

Claudia: I'm still changing lightbulbs...

Pete: --and I'm not so sure all of those skeletons were plastic.

Claudia: It was kind of fun blowing up the Warehouse. You know, in a not-destructive kind of way.

Steve: No, no. It was destructive. It was a very destructive kind of way.

Claudia: Right. Sure. But we didn't have to artifact it back.

Pete: What's another warehouse explosion amongst friends, huh?

Claudia: I mean, I do still have some light bombs stashed away in my room. Don't tell Artie.

Pete: That's the spirit!

Steve: I just want to drink hot tea, read a book, and watch the weather change from the comfort of my own bed, in my own room. Is that so much to ask?

Steve does not wait for an answer. He turns and leaves the kitchen.

Abigail enters in his place, she stops and stares at Pete.

Then bursts into laughter.

Abigail: I really thought Myka was pulling my leg when she said you'd lathered yourself up in bronzer, just to play a prank on Helena.

Pete: It wasn't a prank. It was encouragement. She loves Halloween!

Abigail: She loved Halloween. I think the soul-snatching skeletal remains of a Spirit Halloween clearance sale sucked that love right out of her.

Pete: Well. She liked my costume.

Abigail: That's not what I heard.

Pete: Then you've heard nothing but dirty, rotten lies.

Abigail: Did she seem amused when you revealed your costume?

Pete: She didn't seem entirely unamused.

Abigail arches a skeptical brow at Pete.

Claudia: What was the prank?

Pete: Not a prank.

Claudia: What was the not-a-prank?

Abigail: Apparently, when Helena questioned him about (Abigail gestures toward Pete with her hand) this, he said, very enthusiastically, that he'd been bronzed.

Claudia: Peter Jenkins Lattimer.

Pete: That is not my middle name.

Claudia: The woman has trauma!

Pete: It was inspiration!

Claudia: Fueled by nightmares!

Abigail: I don't think the woman who spent a century encased in bronze needs to be inspired. Like, at all.

Pete: That was a century ago.

Claudia: No, it started a century ago. She's barely been free for one decade.

Abigail: You do know she remained conscious the entire time.

Pete: I know she remained conscious the entire time.

Claudia: And was so fucked up when she got out, all she wanted to do was destroy the world and everyone in it.

Pete: I mean, I was there. So yeah. I do recall her attempting to, at one point in time, destroy the world and everyone in it. Thankfully Myka's hotness saved our asses.

Claudia gasps.

Pete: What?

Claudia: You did bronzeface!

Pete: What? No. That's not a thing.

Claudia: You're doing it right now!

Pete looks to Abigail.

Abigail: Don't look at me. I was born this way.

Claudia: I can't believe you did bronzeface at H.G.

Pete: Stop saying it like it's a thing.

Claudia: People from the bronze sector do not deserve to be mocked in your incessant quest for validation and frights.

Pete: They are literally criminals.

Abigail: Wow, Pete. I really thought better of you.

Pete: You know what, I'm just going to go take a very long and very hot shower until either the bronzer or my skin comes off. Whichever happens first.

Pete exits.

Claudia, laughing and calling after Pete: Hey, maybe try painting yourself blue tomorrow instead. Pretty sure none of us has ever been Smurfed.

Claudia and Abigail fall into a fit of laughter.

Somewhere between the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom, Pete retrieves his phone from his pocket and says, "Hey Siri?"

She appears.

And Pete whispers into his phone, "What is bronzeface?"

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Hello! May I ask ❤️ 28 for Floyd and Jade? Thanks!

Floyd Leech:

28.  ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courting’s feelings without them having to say anything?

Floyd is intuitive, but only when he wants to be. He’ll always understand your feelings or where you’re coming from but depending on his mood, he might pretend you’re acting like an alien. It’s whether or not he wants to deal with your feelings that really matter as he had a tendency to ignore you when he was mad or you were arguing over something. He could be shockingly thoughtful when you needed someone to lean on and his moods sometimes matched your own, appearing grumpy on a day where you were also feeling down. 

Jade Leech: 

28.  ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courting’s feelings without them having to say anything?

Jade is very intuitive. You think he used his intuition for evil but he told you that reading your mind isn’t solely evil, it was so he could take care of you even when you yourself didn’t know what you wanted. It does help to have a person so easily able to read you though it can be disconcerting when he appeared at your side with a food item you were craving or a book you had thought about getting. He thinks it’s funny that you find it so shocking, teasingly reminding you that you’ll never find another merman like him. 

[pluckyredhead]

We made it, you guys! I'm wrapping up my blitz through all the Fourth World canon. I've already covered the comics of the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, and the 00s, so now let's get into everything post-Flashpoint!

Wonder Woman (2011): I'll be honest: this series is Not Valid, and Orion only shows up as a supporting character for about a dozen issues, so I just skimmed his appearances rather than actually reading the whole volume. Anyway this version of Orion slaps Diana's ass and hits on her relentlessly and isn't even from Apokolips. Highfather is emotionally abusive. No one else from the Fourth World even shows up. Throw it all directly in the trash.

Infinity Man and the Forever People (2014): Genuinely who was asking for a New 52 book about the Forever People (the most optimistic of Kirby's creations) written by Dan DiDio (a man on the record as saying he wanted "to take the smile out of comics")? Shockingly, it's not as bad as I was bracing myself for. I mean, the lore changes are baffling (Darkseid and Highfather are brothers! the Infinity Man is Highfather's conscience and that's why New 52 Highfather's such a dick all the time! Big Bear is from Apokolips and has a secret, angrier face because he's like a bonus Orion now!). And the art rotates through four or five different artists and all of the issues not drawn by Tom Grummett are hideous. But mostly it's just very boring and pointless? Let's all ignore it forever.

Green Lantern/New Gods (2014): Hey, do you remember when Green Lantern was one of DC's most successful franchises and they were publishing five simultaneous GL-related ongoings and they oversaturated the market so badly they could barely keep one GL book going until recently? I'm not saying shit like this is what killed the goose that laid the golden egg, but...I'm not not saying that either. (No seriously, I am genuinely fascinated by whatever the fuck DC did to the Lanterns in the 2000s and 2010s as, like, a publishing cautionary tale, but that's a story for another post.)

This was a three-month crossover across all five GL books - Green Lantern (Hal's book), Green Lantern Corps (John's book), Green Lantern: New Guardians (Kyle's book), Red Lanterns (Guy's book), and Sinestro - plus a New Gods one shot and a GL annual. That's 17 issues that are meant to be read in order to follow the story, and then you can optionally also read the tie-in issues of Infinity Man and the Forever People, which makes a whopping total of 20 issues dedicated to this storyline.

So what was the plot of this grand saga? Uh...Highfather tries to steal all the rings of every Corps like he's the fucking Trix Rabbit or something. The end.

Yeah, it's a mystery what killed the GL publishing juggernaut. 🙄

(Side note: this crossover adds a brand new Original Character Do Not Steal who is from Apokolips and was raised by Highfather and has a Secret Rage Face. After Infinity Man and the Forever People also gave Big Bear a Secret Rage Face. STOP STEALING ORION'S SHIT. You don't need extra bonus Orions, Regular Orion is right there!)

Bug! The Adventures of Forager (2017): This is a very charming, very strange series that isn't in continuity (it was part of the Young Animal imprint) and doesn't really forward the plot of the New Gods in any way, but it's funny and enjoyable. Basically, Forager wakes up after his death in Cosmic Odyssey (29 years prior, for those keeping track) and goes on a time- and reality-hopping adventure in which he interacts with various characters Kirby wrote and drew for DC over the years (although oddly, very few New Gods). It's the sort of series that rewards the long-time comic book reader, but I still enjoyed it even though I was very aware I was missing references. I wouldn't recommend it if you're brand new to comics, though.

Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (2016): Orion's in a couple arcs of this run, and they're pretty fun. Orion's heart gets removed from his body and Kyle keeps him alive with a construct! Hal races Lightray! Orion helps the GLs fight a shit ton of Darkstars! There isn't much in the way of advancing New Gods Lore (TM) here, but this is a pretty good series in general. A fun time!

Mister Miracle (2017): Sigh.

You know, the frustrating thing about this series is that some aspects of it are really good. The art is superb. Some of the humor really lands. Funky Flashman as the Frees' nanny is an utter delight. (The bit where he retells the Galactus Trilogy as "Jake's story" is especially charming.) The subtler take on Granny and the way Scott is still wrestling with her abuse and his complicated feelings about her is heartbreaking. And the big twist, when Darkseid demands baby Jacob in exchange for peace, and Scott's agony over the decision, is utterly wrenching. It's such a good conflict to give Scott, to have him try to wrestle with the decision his own father made and what the right answer is. I even believe King read more than one issue of Mister Miracle (1971) to research this! I mean, he references the Lump. That's a pretty deep cut.

But it's all undercut by his decision to make Orion a villain. King's Orion isn't just brutal and wrongheaded, like some earlier writers have portrayed him - he's a vindictive sadist who craves power and enjoys humiliating someone who, in all previous canon, he eagerly embraced as a brother. He has elaborately cruel plans and enjoys making others know their place - Orion, who is historically as subtle and refined as a two-by-four to the head. He's out of character in basically every possible way.

But this isn't just me being like "How dare you get my blorbo wrong?!" (That's my reaction to King's depiction of Lightray as a simpering toady.) Making Orion a villain, as I have said many times at this point, betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the Fourth World's central concept, which is, like...not a hard concept to grok. The point of the baby swap isn't to see whether nature or nurture is stronger. It's that both babies grow up to be heroes. It's that good is stronger than evil. And if Orion isn't a hero, the whole thing falls apart. Instead, we get a bleak and fundamentally unbalanced take on the Fourth World that begins with a suicide attempt and ends with Scott resigning himself to a life from which he desperately wants to escape. And again, again, King's pessimism is mistaken for depth because someone else drew it real good.

Anyway I hate this comic, the end.

Justice League Odyssey (2018): The New Gods didn't really have a home base post-Flashpoint, which is why I'm covering so many books that aren't really New Gods books (Wonder Woman, the various GL books), because my crops are dying and I'm desperate for Orion to show up on his little scooter. Anyway this is actually first and foremost a Jessica Cruz book, which isn't really a complaint because I love her. Basically, Cyborg, Starfire, and Azrael (who is pretty OOC and also why is he here??? he doesn't know these people and he can't breathe in space?????) decide to go on an Illegal Space Adventure and Jessica tries to stop them and they all get swept up into an incredibly convoluted plan by Darkseid to turn everyone but Jessica into a NEW New God and take over the universe? Or maybe destroy it? UNCLEAR. Also the last time they all saw Darkseid he was a baby but now he's not anymore. How? UNCLEAR.

Darkseid kills Jessica but it doesn't take because she's the GOAT, but now he's taken control of Vic, Kori, and JPV, so Jessica has to team up with Orion, Blackfire, and Dex-Starr the Red Lantern cat to defeat Darkseid and rescue the others. Overall this book is so unrelentingly high stakes and cosmic that I kind of tuned out. After a while I just hit "we have to save the universe!!!" fatigue. But a huge part of the second half of the series is just Jessica yelling at Orion until he grumpily does what she tells him, and I truly could have read 40 more issues of that. I hope when it was all over he went and pouted at Lightray about how the Green Lantern was SO MEAN to him (he deserved it).

Verdict: Don't bother to read for New Gods continuity, do read if you love Jessica Cruz.

Mister Miracle: The Source of Freedom (2021): This book reintroduces Shilo Norman to the post-Flashpoint universe as a celebrity superhero and escape artist who aggressively protects his secret identity, because his predecessor Thaddeus Brown, who is Black in this series (and presumably going forward), had a public identity and dealt with horrible racism from the public. But his mask is partially torn off when he's attacked by N'vir Free, the daughter of Scott and Barda Free - who Shilo has never heard of. While Shilo tries to figure out who the Frees are and why N'vir thinks he stole her father's legacy, he also discovers that Thaddeus was secretly his grandfather, and has to unpack all of his emotional hangups about his own identity and legacy.

This is a great book for the humans of Kirby's Mister Miracle and a terrible one for the New Gods. Scott and Barda are not only dead, but their memories have been erased from most people's minds. N'vir is an awful character with a stupid name, and also a fascist dictator, which is...a choice for Scott and Barda's kid. (I'm assuming all of this is either taking place in a different universe than the main DCU, or has been retconned away, because Barda is currently appearing in Birds of Prey and is perfectly fine. And perfectly perfect. Please read Birds of Prey.) Orion does show up for a bit and he's great here, but he doesn't remember Scott either, which hurt my heart.

But it's a great book for Shilo, who gets to be a complicated, endearing but flawed protagonist instead of a sidekick who tends to get forgotten for years at a time. I'm a bit torn on having him be related to Thaddeus, since I like the idea of Shilo becoming a hero on his own smarts and spunkiness rather than inheriting it, but it allows for some really beautiful themes about legacy and being proud of where you come from, so it suits the story really well. And Oberon is a delight the whole way through (as always). Overall a good book, but somewhat to the side of the overall New Gods saga.

THE END. We did it, you guys! Now DC please greenlight a new New Gods book, thank you.

(Actually it should be double length and reversible so when you hold it one way it's a New Gods book and when you flip it to the "back" cover it's a Mister Miracle book and the stories intertwine. Do you see the vision???)

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: A New Beginning (X-Men #1-3)

The true beginning of Rogue and Gambit's story really comes with the new and somewhat iconic era of X-Men. X-Men: The Animated Series drew its inspiration from the relaunch designs, and for someone who grew up with this era, it feels nostalgic as well as historic. Rogue looks and sounds like the character I grew up with. Gambit being crucial to the line up and no longer an afterthought feels pivotal. I feel like we've finally arrived.

And while I know this era isn't void of problems -- believe me, I know... I kind of enjoy this early Rogue and Gambit dynamic. It's fun and flirty and has a little bit of an edge to it. And the angst. So. Much. Delicious. Angst.

The funny part is... there really isn't a whole lot of it in these first few issues. Things don't really heat up until issue #4. Not only that, I'm gonna have to bring up Rogneto again... I'm so sorry, guys. Blame Chris Claremont.

Alright, let's dig in...

X-Men #1

Rogue in her now iconic new uniform -- this is going to be a standard for quite awhile. Get ready to see this pose a lot - Jim Lee, and artists after him, really like to do the whole one leg up, one fist out thing. Anyway, despite the fact that I (shockingly) don't like that much yellow on her - she's so pretty. I've always loved this era's hair.

Anyway, you want plot details you say?? This is Chris Claremont's last hurrah on his initial, epic 17 year run with the X-Men. And of course you can expect two things -- space shenanigans and coming full circle with Magneto as the villain. The crux of it is about Magneto possibly being a threat, despite the fact that he wants to be left alone, and of course, the X-Men get sucked into the drama.

X-Men #1

Gambit's redesign - which uses his initial costuming but man does he look so much better. He looks 'cool' in the way that all the X-Men look cool in this era. The dude can pull off the color fuchsia. That isn't easy to do. I do like, however, in color theory that the pinks and purples of Gambit goes well with the greens of Rogue's coloring. But more to the point - Gambit is pretty now, which is what we're all really here for. ;)

Anyway - because this is a relaunch, after our initial Magneto based prologue, we get a (re-)introduction to the entire team in one of my absolute favorite sequences of X-Men comics. The teams will eventually be divided into two groups; the Blue Team -- Cyclops, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, Psylocke, and Jubilee and the Gold Team -- Storm, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Forge, and Colossus, but for now, they're one happy family doing a classic danger room sequence as designed by Charles Xavier.

X-Men #1

The whole sequence is really pretty awesome, but it leads to one of my favorite comic book moments -- where Gambit just goes for it and kisses Jean. It's a fake, robot Jean, but it's a bold move. And leads to Cyclops wanting to drop a truck on him. It's such a classic moment and I love it.

X-Men #1

Our first Rogue and Gambit panel happens right after Wolverine wins the whole training sequence (because of course he does). (Also - Claremont can't quite resist and we get a final 'bang, you dead' moment.) Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit still haven't spoken to each other - but at least they know the other one exists. Progress, right?

X-Men #1

I really need to take a moment and appreciate the fact that most of the time during this era, when Gambit isn't in his uniform, he's running around half naked.

X-Men #1

Ug, alright, let's talk about Magneto again. This whole arc is about Magneto kind of having an existential crisis (which, you know, happens when they need to reset you to villain again). And, unfortunately, we'll get a few of these moments scattered throughout these issues of Rogue trying to talk sense and reason into him due to their 'spark' in the Savage Land. I get that someone should be a reasonable voice -- especially when the rest of the X-Men are attacking the guy before any kind of provocation. But I'm still rolling my eyes that it's Rogue. Notice he calls her 'child' during this? He'll do that throughout. Eesh.

Magneto claims that he has no beef with them and offers them all safe haven on his floating asteroid base -- Asteroid M. And guess who doesn't join him? That's right - Rogue at least has enough sense to stick with the family she knows and cares about over a possible, not really fling. Btw - I hadn't mentioned it back when I was talking about the Savage Land, but there was nothing to suggest Magneto can actually touch her. (I think that might be an Age of Apocalypse thing?)

Also, in case you think any of this sounds familiar - pretty sure X-Men '97 drew heavily from this arc for their Season 1.

X-Men #1

The first time either of them mentions the other one, and it's Gambit being sassy about whether or not Rogue should be a considered a lady. I kind of love it, actually. And love that Beast is like -- oooh, you're playing with fire on that one.

X-Men #2

They're getting more on panel togetherness! Granted it's group shots and they're taking down Magneto, but I'm taking all the scraps!

X-Men #2

Alright, well as much as I'm not a fan of the Rogue/Magneto dynamic, I'm still going to be fair and talk about it. Because it is part of Rogue's development. The key thing here though is that Rogue isn't going to compromise her values and beliefs because she may feel something for Magneto. And this will continue to ring through always through the comics. Of course, how nice of Magneto to swat her away like an annoying fly. Romance for the ages, guys.

X-Men #2

More on panel time! They're really going for all the group shots these days - probably to milk sales. But I mean, Rogue and Gambit look good just standing next to each other, so who am I to complain?

So, back to the plot... Magneto is getting pissy because the world governments are seeing him as a threat. He kidnaps Moira MacTaggart and berates her and blames her for all of his issues (because, you know, she messed with his genetics after he was de-aged, in an attempt to make him /not/ a villain). It was... a whole thing don't worry about it.

Anyway, he has Moira (somehow) brainwash the Blue Team into joining Magneto's side. Because they can't otherwise be convinced. Which, oh my gosh - what's with all the brainwashing lately?? Of course, this means it's Gold Team to the rescue...

X-Men #3

I'm going to try to document every time they're on the same cover. Also, it isn't X-Men unless there's at least an X vs X brawl every other month.

X-Men #3

Another group shot with Magneto in between them?? What can this mean??? Actually, nothing, I think it's just a coincidence. But - I really like the art here.

But.. you guys! YOU GUYS! We get our first real Romy moment in this issue! Granted - they're still brainwashed! But it's another first! Here we go...

X-Men #3

So, they're all hanging out on Asteroid M, taking it easy because - apparently that's what you do when you're a brainwashed Magneto fan. I love that Cyclops is still in his full uniform while Gambit has managed to strip down to his undies. I'm sure we can all tell who is the real fun one of the group.

You know what I like about this exchange, though? Gambit was casually complementing her diving skills and Rogue is the one who decides to get flirty about it. Of course, Gambit's going to push it further - see how far she wants to really go, and that'll cause her to run -- a dynamic that we're going to see a ton of as we go through all of this early stuff.

But for all that Gambit's going to push - it's not completely unwarranted or completely out of nowhere. Yeah, he gets flirty with the ladies on principal. Yeah, he went for kissing (fake robot) Jean unprompted because he thought he could. I won't defend some of the ickier aspects of these comics.

But... I'm fascinated by the idea of - what if she could touch? Would it still be a game to him? Would she have let it continue? Would they just have had a little fling right off the bat? Are her powers what really pushes them to have a deeper relationship than what they might have had? Just all the thoughts I'm throwing out there.

I also like that, that little moment of humor, where she knocks him into the pool, is so genuine it shakes her out of her mind control.

I also like that Gambit's genuine concern for her stops his playfulness.

It's such a tease of some great stuff coming up, and I am here for it.

X-Men #3

And that's really all we get guys. The Gold Team shows up to save the day but not before some X-Men fighting amongst each other. Magneto monologues for a while. Charles tries to get him to see reason. The people of Earth try to nuke Asteroid M and everyone gets outta there while Magneto decides to go down with the proverbial ship.

X-Men #3

This is in the closing moments of the issue - and I'm putting it here because it is Rogue talking about Magneto again -- but kind of seeing reason and how their ideologies do not work. She's trying to get Xavier to see this, and it's funny that Xavier is having a very hard time trying to let his old 'friend' go. Rogue, however, is fine. Maybe there had been a small, romantic spark of being caught up in close quarters in a shared moment. But that was all it was.

There is more to a longer lasting romance than fleeting moments due to circumstances. ;)

The X-Men take off leaving Magneto and his real followers to their fates. Of course... we know that it's never the real end of Magneto. Asteroid M may blow up, but he'll be fine.

However, I'll take a moment say that it's a poetic ending. Chris Claremont closes it out with a sort of goodbye. His tenure on X-Men is now complete, and we've fully stepped into a bright, new era!

X-Men #4 is gonna bring it. Let's do it! ;)

[19burstraat]

proving kaz is a tidemaker, even tho it's not canon and shouldn't be, but I'm gonna argue for it anyway

I already made this post ages ago and now this has been in my drafts for even longer, I just unearthed it... but I'm making it again, more in depth, bc I didn't hit on everything I wanted to last time. obviously this isn't canon bc the point of kaz is he's Just Some Guy and how that really really pisses off more powerful people, and I think that's definitely best, Kaz NEEDS to be otkazat'sya for his function in the story... but if you ever wanted to prove it in a fic, shit is EASY. (I am vaguely considering how it might work out in a fic. we'll see. I've done stuff that couldn't/I wouldn't want to be canon before with my jordie-lives fic, so...) I'll mostly talk in the context that he'd be a tidemaker bc I feel like that's the conclusion a lot of this comes to, but some of the points are more generalised.

obviously the basic argument everyone makes for this is that the reason kaz was able to get back to shore from reaper's barge is bc, subconsciously or not, as a tidemaker he could control the currents to help him, since that's one of the most basic tidemaker powers. in the harbour scene, he notices that the tide has moved to work against him, but it doesn't seem to prove much of a problem; he attributes it to his new will to survive, but... Well. Kaz is exceptionally good at withholding information, even in his own POV.

grisha not using their powers become ill or weaker; kaz isn't really physically ill but he has an element of the underfed and sallow about him that's generally attributed to living in the barrel.

kaz is also ESPECIALLY horrified by the state of mikka, the tidemaker under the influence of jurda parem at the start of SOC; this is attributed to his past trauma and his dislike for things he can't rationally explain, which, yeah, but he is thrown in a way we don't really see again for the rest of the series. he instantly thinks of jordie, and it's maybe the one time he succumbs to superstition in the whole series.

the obvious explanation for how kaz knew that coffee extract and paraffin hid the scent/evidence of grisha is that he's very clearly involved in smuggling (jesper mentions how coffee grounds were used when packing smuggled jurda shipments) but the second explanation,,, is that he uses them himself. he comes up with the solution with IMMENSE speed and he just like, has the coffee extract around. ok, sure, not that hard to get hold of, but still. and coffee gets mentioned in relation to him at least a few times, most noticeably the 'bitter coffee eyes' thing inej uses, which is amusingly romanticised, but also... inej why do you associate coffee w kaz... something you've noticed abt him?

(but then, you wonder why he didn't suggest this to jesper previously; the answer I'm sure he would give you is he did, when it was a problem. before that it wasn't a problem and jesper was doing fine at staying hidden on his own)

the gloves can also add to this one, since they presumably at least cover his wrists and therefore his pulse somewhat, though obviously that's not their main function.

recovers with startling speed from nearly drowning at the ice court; matthias has to get his breathing going again but he's almost immediately fine after. I know yk, heist fantasy book, gotta keep going, but still

kaz is almost completely correct about the methods, powers of, and appearances of the council of tides (one single thing, the method of hiding their faces, is wrong.) impressive, no...? he is also shockingly apathetic in the face of their threats; they fill his lungs up with water and he just coughs it up and then is like "lol" immediately after. this is funny no matter what the fact of the matter (major general of the idgaf war) but the fact his link to them is left hanging is also a thread that could be easy to pick up. I think it would be hilarious if he was secretly in the council, but I won't stretch it that far bc they clearly don't like him lmao, that would have to be a proper AU.

in the dregs, kaz has a corporalki (nina) and a materialki (jesper) but no etheralki. wouldn't it be prudent to recruit one, if he could find one? or maybe he doesn't need one. if he already has one around, for an emergency of emergencies... for a rainy day... (ha ha)

the way kaz's trauma is often described as manifesting, is with the rising of the harbour waters; so it's pretty reasonable to suggest that in suppressing that, he'd also, inadvertently or not, suppress any kind of tidemaker/etheralki impulse or power. possibly he can't even tell the difference between the two, or they're so tangled up he can't really separate them anymore, which is why he doesn't so much as even think to attempt to use it. still, if this was the case I think improvement with one would not necessarily improve the other, or vice versa. kaz hypothetically using grisha power he'd had suppressed would not magically make his touch aversion go away, I think that'd be weird, and I'd not want his PTSD to be passed off as solely being the sickness from not using grisha power, that's reductive as hell. but I can see them certainly being two things very much intertwined.

we don't know a lot about grisha who are native to kerch, but assumedly he'd not have had much cause to use it in his childhood, on a farm somewhere inland, so most, if not all, of his experience with using it would likely be irretrievably tied to ketterdam and jordie so no wonder he just wouldn't use it. I don't think he'd even see it as feasible. perhaps it would be a very very final resort, but he'd never let it get to that point, he'd always want to try something else first. and anyway, he'd not be trained.

the sankt vladimir story is also thematically quite close to Kaz; holding back the harbour waters until he's finally too exhausted and lets it drown him. I like this regardless of this analysis actually it's a good comparison. patron saint of the drowned and unlikely achievement....

even if kaz wasn't an otkazat'sya, after all that happened, I think he'd try very hard to pretend he was. it couldn't save jordie, therefore in his extreme as hell thinking around that entire thing, I imagine he'd reason it wasn't useful, that he could get on better without it, and, like jesper, think it was a liability.

this would add a wild layer to him being the one to have the jurda parem on him for almost all of crooked kingdom; it would make it feel like his plan z was to take it himself. certainly he'd sooner do that than let jesper take it.

and finally: thematically, it slays. like half of the imagery around kaz (and kanej) centres around water (think the bathroom scene, how he only washes in front of her, etc) and that plays into both of their trauma, plus religious imagery, all this... it's a fantastic bit of extra theming. it just doesn't really work with how his character operates.

basically I think you could DEFINITELY make it work and it'd be a killer fic but again it's one of those things, like jordie living, that I don't really want to be canon because it undermines something about kaz's character that I consider pretty critical; in this case, that kaz is not really endowed with any special power or circumstance, he's just bloody-minded and clever, but that's enough for him to pull off almost impossible jobs anyway.

[frost-queen]

Obstacle course (Reader x Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco,   @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07

Summary: Hangman is overprotective over you even when you dislike each other yet slightly warming up to each others due to having caught feelings for each other. When alone with Hangman tensions rise leaving you flustered beyond handling. Unable to handle yourself, you run away. Avoiding Hangman the next following days till he drags you into a private room. Truths are revealed leading to a kiss and the poor boy wondering why you left him hanging.

Cyclone picked up the file that laid before him, addressing everyone. – “This.” – he said wiggling the file a bit in his hand. Turning his head he threw it in the trash can nearby. All the aviators looking shockingly back at him. – “Pointless if you all don’t start acting like team.” – he made clear grabbing the stand firmly. – “From now on I want you to eat, sleep and breath together till you become a team you can count on blindly.” – he continued. Hangman smirked, looking teasingly back at Phoenix.

Phoenix knew what silly thoughts harbored his mind, rolling her eyes back at him. – “We’ll start with an obstacle course.” – Cyclone moved his hand up as you all rose, following him out of the hangar. – “Hear that Phoenix, we’ll all be sleeping together.” – he teased wrapping an arm around her. Natasha elbowed him hard in the side to get him off her. – “A dream come true, sleeping among all those men.” – she laughed out. Hangman clicked his tongue with a shake of his head. He threw an arm over Bob’s shoulder who was caught by surprise.

“Say Bob will it be the first time you lay close to a girl?” – he taunted, rubbing his hair. Phoenix shot him a glare to leave Bob alone. Bob swallowed nervously, pushing his glasses further up his nose. Hangman was about to comment again when you walked past him with Coyote. He turned silent, watching you go with the movement of his eyes. He puffed in your direction when he caught Natasha looking over.

You crossed over the fields to the obstacle course. Maverick standing near Cyclone surrounded by a bunch of backpacks. Fully loaded with material. – “Go on and pick a bag.” – Cyclone called out, hands behind his back. You all moved closer. You took one, puffing loud as you could barely lift it up. Hangman was laughing at you while putting one hand through the hoop. His eyes widened huffing loud as he barely got his up from the ground. He groaned loud lifting it up with two hands, holding it from underneath.

Bended knees, his cheeks bloated trying to steady his posture. – “Nope.” – he mumbled out feeling himself fall backwards. He landed flat down, backpack on his chest. Chuckling in pain as his arms spread out. You came hovering over him, laughing loud. If only you had a phone on you to take a picture. Jake was childishly mimicking your laughter finding it anything but funny. Coyote and Bob helped him back up on his feet.

Rooster helped you put the backpack over your shoulders as you clicked it tight around your waist. Feeling the heavy weight of it on your back. Cyclone and Maverick were waiting for you to form a line. The struggle of the weight clear on your faces. – “The task is easy.” – Cyclone explained. He turned slightly around to the course. – “Complete the obstacle course in time.” – he revealed a stopwatch from his pocket. – “You got twenty minutes.”

Some aviators puffed loud, finding it impossible to do so. Rooster and you looked concerned at each other. Maverick blew on his whistle as everyone started to get in motion, moving to the first start of the course. – “Oh just one more thing!” – Cyclone said loudly making everyone pause. – “You’ll have to finish as a team… on time.” – he declared smirking. Hangman groaned loud. Phoenix and bob looking nervously at each other. Some eyes fell upon you as you felt targeted. You surely weren’t the slowest of the crew, right?

Rooster glared at them, standing firmly beside you. Coming at the stripe you stood in the middle. Hangman beside you, smirking. – “Are you going to make it sugarcane?” – he said teasingly with a smile. – “Eat my dust.” – you bit back readying yourself to run. Hangman doing the same smiling cocky. – “Oh you’ll so taste mine Y/n.” – he replied. Maverick blew on his whistle as the course started. Clenching your jaw, you started running with the heavy backpack over your shoulders.

It immediately exhausted you, legs weighing down as you barely had begun. The first obstacle was climbing a wall. Coyote and Fanboy were the first ones to reach it, climbing upwards. Phoenix stumbling down after setting the first foot. Hangman easily climbed up, going for the top. You grabbed onto the little patches, setting a foot on one as well. Groaning loud, you felt the backpack lean back.

Quickly setting your other foot and pulling yourself a bit up, you hoped to win time against gravity. Payback was on your right making a climb for it. Him passing you, caught you off guard as the weight of the backpack brought you down. You called it out falling backwards, landing on the back. Rooster who was at the top, sitting with one leg over each edge was helping Bob cross over. Hangman sat at the top as well, pulling at Phoenix’s arm. He gasped loud when you fell down.

He assisted Phoenix over, jumping down. The weight of the backpack making him stumble to the ground. – “Y/n get up!” – Hangman called out, helping you up. He stood by the course setting his hands. – “I’ll push you upwards.” – he said. You nodded setting one foot on his hands. Hangman puffed loud, pushing you off. You reached for a patch as you held tight onto it. Rooster extended his hand to you still sitting at the top. You reached your hand out, grabbing a hold of him.

He pulled you up with all his might. Hangman meanwhile making his own way back up. You laid yourself down on the edge, carefully moving one leg over. Suddenly you felt the weight on your back falter. Furrowing your brows, you looked up to Hangman holding your backpack up by the hoop. His expression tensed, his arm trembling of carrying the weight. Rooster held a hand on your back to make sure you wouldn’t roll over the edge.

You swiftly swung your other leg over the edge as well. Hangman still holding your backpack. He kept holding it till you were climbing down a bit. Slowly setting it back on your back. The weight was so sudden you fell down the last few parts you still needed to go down. Hangman and Rooster making their way down quickly. – “You okay Y/n?” – Jake asked pushing Rooster’s concerning hand off you. – “I’m… I’m fine.” – you breathed out. With a hand on your backpack, pushed Jake you forwards. The others already up ahead.

Rooster huffed loud as you came by the river. In the river you saw Bob go under, arms swaying around. Phoenix and Coyote pulling him back up by his backpack. Bob sputtering out water with a loud gasp. Rooster got into the water feeling the weight of the backpack lure him under. Spewing out loud, he avoided absorbing water in his mouth. Jake took your hand going into the waters with you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, swimming with the use of one arm. You were using both barely staying above water. Jake’s head went under water.

“Jake!” – you called out as he resurfaced again, shaking the water off him. You were kicking your feet under water to move forwards. Panting loud as it was wearing you down. – “Head up Y/n.” – Jake insisted seeing your mouth go under water. You nodded, moving your head back to keep it above water. In front of you, you saw Bob, Phoenix, and Coyote crawl out of the water. – “How many minutes do you think have passed?” – you asked breathing loudly. – “Just focus on staying with me.” – Hangman called out.

Despite having a certain hatred towards each other, he was always super protective over you. Even now, making sure you’d make it knowing fully well you were slowing him down. The course wasn’t easy for him as well with the weight on his back. Yet everything in his might concerned himself around you. You were nearing to the edge. Hangman pushed you forwards as you grabbed the grass. Crawling out of the water.

Turning around you gave Jake your hand to pull him out as well. Laying on his stomach, he needed a moment to catch his breath. – “I’m slowing you down.” – you told him, waving your hand for him to move on. Jake shook his head getting up. – “I’m not leaving you behind.” – he helped you up as well. Weighing heavier from your wet clothing. – “We’re a team.” – taking you by the elbow he started pulling you with him.

Running towards the next obstacle. Jake nearly sunk through his knees from the weight as you held him upright just in time by his arm. He thanked you with a brief nod, showing you that sweet smile. It flustered you, looking shy away. The next course was crawling under a net in the mud. The others were slipping, losing their grip as the wetness of them combined with the mud emerged into a slippery mess.

Bob’s hands slipped, hitting the mud face forwards. Lifting his head up, he gasped loud, face covered in mud. Wiping his glasses was no use as his hands were dirty. You dove to the ground, crawling under the net. Jake right behind you. It was time to show everyone that you weren’t the slowest of the crew. The mud sticking on you, yet you continued. Quickly passing Rooster and Coyote past. – “Go Y/n!” – Rooster shouted moving his fist forwards.

Jake slapped him against the back of his head to shut up while crawling past him. He shot Rooster a glare for even interacting with you. He didn’t like it how the other boys concerned themselves over you. He felt the need for it being his task. As unable to deny it anymore, he actually liked you despite the hatred you had for each other first. Having grown over time. You reached the end of the net first, getting up trying to maintain your balance. Jake pushed past Phoenix, getting out behind you.

He caught up with you, shooting you a flirtatious wink. Jake and you staid by the end, helping everyone out. Bob was running blind as his glasses were stained. Phoenix and Rooster locked arms with him, running along with him. Coyote and Fanboy in the back. Jake and you in the front. Payback somewhere in the middle. The only thing left was running a while to the end of the line. They didn’t let you do the entire obstacle course as with such a heavy backpack was impossible in twenty minutes.

Panting loud, you felt how worn out you were. Everything weighing down as Payback already caught up with you. Hangman noticed you were slacking, coming to run closer to you. – “Hey!” – he called out getting your attention. – “Don’t go slacking on me Y/n!” – he pressed his mudded hand on your backpack, pushing you forwards. You nodded biting through the pain of your sore muscles. – “I’ll carry you if I have too!” – he panted out. You stared in shock at him as that was ridiculous. Rooster, Phoenix, and Bob passed the two of you as well.

You didn’t know if you could make it to the finish. You grunted exhausted seeing Cyclone and Maverick at the end. Cyclone holding the stopwatch high. Maverick stuck his finger up. – “One minute and a half left!” – he shouted loud making you widen your eyes. Jake grabbed you by the arm, other hand on your backpack, pushing you forwards. – “Run Y/n!” – he called out as your feet could barely follow. Coyote and fanboy coming in closer. – “Come on Y/n! You got this!” – Coyote called out.

Hangman was too exhausted to comment on it. You clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to endure. Finding a bit of fuel left in your body, you started running faster. Hangman’s grip slipping of you as you outrun him. The three boys started sprinting after you to make it in time. You jumped past Cyclone and Maverick falling down.

Rolling over till you ended on your back. Cyclone stopped the watch when everyone had run over the line. Loud breaths everywhere. Jake removed himself from his backpack, letting himself fall beside you. Coyote wanted to sit beside you to catch his breath when Hangman pushed him aside with his foot.

“Congratulations.” – Cyclone spoke looking at the stopwatch. – “Seven seconds on the clock.” – he showed the time making you all exhale relieved. – “Good work team.” – he said as Maverick clapped loud. Rooster slapped Bob on his back out of breath. Bob nearly dropping his mudded glasses in an attempt to clean them. Cyclone and Maverick left as you all waited till you had recovered a bit. Hangman helped you up your feet.

Groaning loud, you were so sore. Dragging yourself back to the hangar. The boys went to the boy’s section of the showers as Phoenix, and you went to the girl’s side. The warm water feeling like heaven on your sore muscles. Shutting the water off, you got out and dressed. Making your way over to the locker room afterwards. You were slightly startled when Hangman was the only one present. Shirtless as he was searching for a shirt in his locker.

He looked over his shoulder when you went over to your locker. Swallowing nervously to be in a room with him alone. Staring in your locker, you felt the need to say something. – “Hangman.” – you said. He hummed loud, moving his head back to look at you. – “I…I just wanted to say thank you for today.” – you told him. He chuckled, turning his posture more to you. Your eyes dropping to his bare chest. Fighting the urge to wet your lips in pleasure. – “We needed to finish as a team.” – he replied. – “I know, but still you chose to assist me.”

He shut his locker a bit, approaching you. – “I couldn’t let you drown could I now?” – he said teasingly placing his hand above your head. You swallowed nervously, feeling your cheeks warm up by his presence. He took in your face, letting his eyes go all over you. Up and down, leaning subconsciously closer. You felt your heart beat out of your chest. A warmness creeping up your cheeks like a hot stove. Jake’s eyes went down to your lips.

Your eyes widened overwhelmed with shyness. You couldn’t take the tension as it was driving you wild. Before Jake could kiss you, you pushed him off you. Running out of the locker room. Jake stared stunned in front of him. He did not expect you to run off. As he thought the feeling was mutual. He exhaled loud moving away from your locker when Coyote entered. He quickly putted on a shirt, taking his leave.

When he came in the common room, he couldn’t find you. Wondering where you had gone off to. The next following days Hangman noticed how you avoided him. Always making sure that you weren’t alone with him or even around him. Slipping away before he could ask of you for a private moment. It started bothering him that much that he grew enough of it. Needing to put an end to your hiding away from him.

He smirked lurking behind a corner while watching you. He waited till the right moment when you were near the locker room. He came running out of his hiding spot, scaring you. You jumped out of your skin as he grabbed you by the elbow, pushing you inside the room. Shutting the door behind him. – “The hell Hangman!” – you called out, heart pounding from fear. He puffed his chest up, approaching you firmly. You backed away feeling intimidated by him. A gasp escaped your lips when your back hit the lockers.

Jake setting his hands firmly beside your head. The way he stared at you; made you swallow nervously. It was clear he was here to confront you about something. His stare could break out any truth inside of you. The words boiling up inside your mouth. He moved his head closer to you, to intimidate you even more. – “I like you!” – you spilled out, covering up your mouth immediately. How was that he pulled the truth out of you by just staring.

A smirk curled up on his lips. Without any further thought he pressed his lips onto yours. You kissed him back, grabbing a hold of his uniform to pull him closer to you. Jake retracted his lips from you, tilting your chin up by this finger. – “Why did you leave me hanging back then?” – he asked, quirking his eyebrow up. – “I don’t recall your callsign being Hangman.” – he chuckled out. He gave your jaw a sweet kiss, flustering you. – “Sorry…” – you answered setting his tie right. – “It caught me off guard.”

He kissed you once more. – “I could always call you misses Hangman?” – he teased, smirking. You gave him a little shove as he grabbed you tight. Kissing you passionately.

----------------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!    

[konohamaru-sensei]

hello again!! thank you so much for gathering the iketeru illustrations for me (and translating them too, which i greatly appreciated), cause your post really made my day :')

it's funny that the author's got a whole book of fanservice for us lmao, but i love it! do you have a #1 favorite illustration (of anyone) from the whole book? (sorry if this sent twice btw, crap was glitching lol)

lovely anon, I must tell you that I once again went absolutely over the line with pictures I took. There are so many good ones!! I knew a few illustrations from sensei's twitter and knew how well it worked for me so I ordered this book from japan and yes, that is why I can never pick favourites I just like all of them (exception is the series in which the characters are teachers and you are supposed to be their student, not a big fan of those lol). Once again I put them under cut together with my chitter chatter about them asdhjflas

anyway im glad i made your day!

yes its amazing that this fanservice exist. In the interview at the end of the book sensei says they often drew their characters as practise (without lines) and then uploaded them to twitter to find out the people responded so well!! so they continued with it! More snippets from the interview:

they consider this a kind of alternative world that has no space in the manga (since its a gag manga).

they claim they didnt try to make the characters hot on purpose, it just turned out this way. in their head usao and kumao always had old people voices. but now they are glad the characters are hot because of the voice actors choosen.

they come up with a line and then assign it to a character, rarely the other way around.

Every one of their characters has one thing they think is special, something they like to show off when they draw them. for Uramichi its the chest, for Iketeru the slender neck, for Usahara the shoulders and Kumatani the arms!

and shockingly to me: since this manga is running 10 years now they said when they started they felt like Uramichi is so old, but now they are the same age! I cant believe how someone in their twenties wrote such an accurate manga about being in ones thirties.

gosh anon i wish this was more popular, i only have one friend to talk to about this story and i have so much in my soul dhkasdflsd so please come back if you feel like it!

ok so some of my faves under cut from here

first of: my favourite has always been ushara. he is cringe fail and i love cringe fail so much. but that also means he has almost no COOL lines because he is kind of an idiot (lovingly said) tho all his illustrations are so cute. so he wont show up here much tho i love everything about his arts of course!!

now you asked me for my favourite and ive known this one for a while, but I think my unbeaten favourites of everyone are the love confessions:

I love the different way they all do it. Uramichi pretty much goes "I love....you" (cries), Iketeru of course quotes it, Usahara just YELLS at you "HEY I LOVE YOU" and kumatani is like ".............. iloveyou" haskdlfh

generally kumatani has so many cool lines because he is so stone cold. this is also specifically heart wrecking for me because his voice actor Nakamura Yuuchi is my favourite thing since strawberries so if I imagine him doing the voice I want to die.

Three times Kumatani is an absolute tsundere about white day:

"you are chattering so much... well, tell me what you want now. I'll get you anything."

"What do you want? Tell me clearly"

"I told you to get over here"

another white day illustration i love is this one from usahara

he says "the present is me, hippety hop", which i find ultra cute with the little bunny and the hairclip!! but my friend said it sounds like he forgot white day and just brought the first thing he could find, which would be in character (adding this picture was a nightmare tumblr did NOT want me to upload it?? you hate cute boys? tumblr you hate cute boys??)

uramichi's face when he realises you april fooled him is so funny to me somehow

" You say "Im sorry".. that is also a lie, is it not?"

ok from now on the pictures will be low quality because tumblr wont let me upload the photos direclty anymore i need to screenshot them first. rip im sorry

ok there are a few here of uramichi saying somehow sexy things (to me at least) and it makes me go hrgnlkhdflk

""Good big brother (onisan)" you said. Who do you mean?" idk why that gets me so hard but why you asking .. wha...what you mean

"... Isn't it ok? You don't have to go home yet." (this is from the stayin the night portion)

"A promise from big brother. I will protect you well" T_T

this thing which can only be described as ship art:

is this bickering idiots to lovers sensei? is that what you mean to tell me sensei?

this usahara from the staying the night section

"Come play with me today!" (............ h.......how...)

this image if kumatani because of THE LOOK? um HELLO

unfortuantely the translation is kinda tricky because i cant read most the kanji and google lense is like?? but its something like "Do you think you have the guts to betray me?" or something like "Do you think I have the guts to betray you?" idk he looks good so its fine

almost done i swear!! there are a few kuma usa double pages i love

Kuma: "Don't look. Its hot." (sidenote, he is shirtless a lot. not that I complain or whatever)

Usa: "Where would you like to go? The ocean? My house?"

sorry i tried to keep my fingers out of all pictures but clearly failed xD

Kuma: "Shut up. Shut up and look at me."

Usa: "I understaaaand. Get over here." (crying, i want to)

this is a part of the book extras. I showed it to you with Iketeru already. I think the meaning is sort of the moment they realised their carreers are over, sadface

Kuma: "I never really liked it. I thought I would just throw it away. Damn it, I lost."

Usa: "The wind suddenly stopped. Ah, thats how it is. Its over"

of course there are a lot more other characters shown in the book, but much rarer and since they dont interest me too much they dont have my favourite lines asdhfklasdhf anyway anon I hope you liked this

[onbearfeet]

As requested, here are a few Monster Mash asks based on the "oc asks: not-so-nice edition" list. You decide which characters they're for.

What is a surprising thing your character hides?

What does your character do when they should be sleeping but can't?

What's the worst wound your character has experienced? It can be physical or emotional.

Mwahahahahahaaaaaaa. I think I'll do multiple characters. WARNING: There's mature content in this one, and it's not just canon-typical violence. See the tags if you're worried.

What is a surprising thing your character hides?

Ted has a really beautiful singing voice, even in Man-Thing form. He no longer has the physical equipment to form words in any human language, though, so he's sensitive about it and doesn't let on that he still enjoys singing. But he's sung more than a few lullabies to Jack when he's been asleep or in a coma or whatever. And Alpine gets funny little children's melodies or goofy love songs when it's just the two of them. She accepts this as no less than the worship she deserves, of course.

Elsa is shockingly generous and tells no one but her accountant about it. She inherited an absolutely stupid amount of money from her father's estate, and she IMMEDIATELY stopped using his fortune to fund his "crusade", so she's essentially sitting on a dragon's hoard. She took almost nothing with her when she ran away, so she's lived poor for most of her adult life and is deeply sympathetic to other people in that situation, not that she'll admit it. She had her finance pro shut down the murder-cult fund and set up a clean new fund to support whatever charity she damn well pleases. She's still trying to think of ideas and will probably ask the boys eventually, but just for a start, every public library in the state got a healthy donation, and every shelter she stayed in that treated its inhabitants halfway decently got a bigger one. She's also looking into funding--founding, if she has to--an organization defending the rights and interests of homeschooled children, especially those in high-control environments. Elsa was homeschooled for much of her education according to Ulysses' rather eccentric tastes, and she had to teach herself an awful lot of actual education out of the library. And that's before all the trouble she had as a non-emancipated minor who didn't have her own copies of her identity documents.

God, what DOESN'T Jack hide? He's been alive long enough that there's a huge gray zone of stuff he might have failed to mention because he doesn't want people to know OR because it just never came up. He obviously hasn't discussed his family of origin in detail, at least not with Elsa or Bucky, but I don't consider that surprising. I'm tempted to say his hidden side is something sweet and wholesome, but that's not surprising either. If I said he was hiding something terrible he or the wolf had done, that probably wouldn't surprise most people at all. If I had to guess ... the only SURPRISING thing I can think of is his spirituality, which is complex and deeply personal to him. His family might have been Orthodox, but he's got a lot of Catholic guilt written all over him, and the curse only complicates that more. I don't think he's talked to anyone about what he does or doesn't believe in a hundred years or more. He certainly hasn't talked to me.

Bucky was a sex worker in a time-displaced brothel. Okay, that's both a joke AND an oversimplification, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this question was that Bucky had the same problem as Jack: old, complicated, obviously full of both good traits and horrible trauma so nothing is SURPRISING. Then I remembered that around 2016, I handwrote a story establishing that Bucky had worked for a while as an artist at Lady Sally's. If you've never read Spider Robinson's Callahan books, they're a series of short SF stories and novels centered on a bar run by (spoiler alert) a time traveler who's trying to save the world retroactively by preventing the Cold War from going hot. They are brilliant and hilarious and they formed me as a person. There is also a spin-off series focusing on Callahan's wife, Lady Sally McGee, who does the same thing but with a brothel. The reasoning is complex, but the stories are delightful and some of the first positive, sympathetic, relatively clear-eyed depictions of sex workers (or artists, as they're called here and who am I to disagree?) I ever encountered. So it is my headcanon that young Bucky Barnes started washing dishes at Lady Sally's as a teenager, and she kept an eye on the kid because he had a lot of history ahead of him. He worked as an artist for at least a year before the war, not least because it was the only job in the late 30s that paid well enough to let him afford Steve's medicines. (Sally was keeping an eye on Buck's "roommate", too.) Bucky never told Steve, but he was actually quite a talented and popular artist, and he liked working there. He gave notice when he and Steve finally admitted their feelings for each other, wanting to be monogamous with the man he loved, but Sally insisted he come to her if he or Steve ever needed anything in the future, and she slipped him money from time to time via his former coworkers--who, as far as Steve knew, were just girls Bucky dated to keep up appearances. The connection came in handy, too, when the Winter Soldier was sent to kill a man at Lady Sally's and the staff were able to send him away again thanks to his half-remembered connection to the place. Lady Sally's is closed in our time, but you never know when Bucky might get a phone call from the Lady.

What does your character do when they should be sleeping but can't? I'll leave Ted out of this one on the grounds that his biology is different enough that "should be sleeping" may not apply.

So, on a sleepless night at Bloodstone Manor? Jack bakes. He's got access to a well-stocked kitchen now, anything he makes WILL get eaten, and baking is less likely to wake anyone else than playing his guitar or running endless zoomie laps. He also feels a little better when he can do something kind (and profoundly human) out of his emotional turmoil. Helping people helps Jack, and if there are no monsters to rescue or curses to break, he can at least make sure his people have something delicious for breakfast. (Or a midnight snack. Let's face it, somebody else will wake up from a nightmare in an hour.)

Elsa is currently the queen of maladaptive coping mechanisms. She's cut down on drinking since the boys moved in, much to everyone's relief, but she's still in rough shape emotionally. Although she sleeps better than the others thanks to her sleep-anywhere hunter training, she does occasionally have nights when her brain won't shut up, and her solution to that is to run herself into the ground. She'll hit the dojo for as many hours as it takes, usually. Bucky is trying to coax her into something less destructive in his unique sergeant-y way. The sentence "Your magic rock is not an excuse to bust your knuckles again, so wear some damn gloves!" has been uttered.

Bucky is actually the best adjusted on this front, mostly because his sleep disturbances are the worst. (Jack has more traumatic memories overall. Bucky’s are more concentrated, and he's had to heal brain damage on top of it.) Thanks to his time in Wakanda, he's learned some basic meditation techniques and some therapy exercises to help himself calm down a little. Alpine has some kind of extra sense for when Bucky is in distress, so on the rare occasion she's not already in bed with him when he wakes up screaming, she'll come running in immediately. He usually ends up either curled around her, doing breathing exercises, or settling down in bed with a book while she purrs on his chest until the tension finally melts out of him. Bucky isn't healed by any stretch of the imagination, but by God he's trying.

What's the worst wound your character has experienced? It can be physical or emotional.

Ted Sallis died of his injuries from a horrific accident, drowning in a swamp while his super-soldier serum burned him from the inside out after the so-called love of his life betrayed him. That's the worst for him. Only Jack knows about it, and even he doesn't know it all. Nothing else comes close.

Jack is pretty good at toughing out physical pain by now, so his worst wounds are definitely emotional. I think the worst one was finding out that his sister, Lissa, had died. It was a natural death, but he didn't find out until years later, and she was his last connection to who he was before the wolf. The wound has never fully healed.

Elsa's worst wound is what she told Bucky about in "Bucky Meets the Legion of Monsters": realizing that the monsters she'd been hunting, even without her father's input, had mostly been people. That's an identity-shattering experience that has fundamentally changed her.

Bucky’s worst physical wound was losing his arm. His worst emotional wound was either when he realized Steve wasn't coming to save him from Hydra a second time or when he realized Steve wasn't coming back from his time jaunt. Bucky is profoundly loyal and loving, and he is constantly disappointed by other people's failure to meet him where he is. Thus, he doesn't trust easily, but Steve has always had Bucky’s entire heart, and Steve's broken it twice now. It wasn't intentional the first time and we don't yet know what happened the second, but like Jack, Bucky is walking around with an unhealed wound in his soul. If Steve ever reappears in Bucky’s life, there will be Consequences. Even if Bucky will always forgive Steve and would take him back without hesitation, the rest of the squad will have serious concerns about a fella who'd abandon Bucky Barnes two whole times.

[allzelemonz]

Fiction Mirrors Reality: Sean MacGuire X Male Reader

Pronouns: None Mentioned, implied similarities to a man in a book Physical Sex: None mentioned Rating: G/Fluff Warnings: Matchmaker Mary-Beth, mutual pining, fluff, bookworms Summary: Mary-Beth gave you a book hoping you’d make some real world connections.

Finding time to read with Mary-Beth has been a priority ever since you joined the gang. She always has recommendations that make you want to avoid even the excitement of Dutch’s jobs. She also happens to be good company, quiet until something exciting happens and very willing to talk about the books you’re reading.

“What’s that face for?” She asks.

She gave you this book a few days ago. It’s good, but two characters you were hoping would get together have had another frustrating close call.

“They’re idiots.” You sigh, closing the book and tossing it on the ground in front of you where you sit. “They’ve almost kissed six times.”

Mary-Beth picks up your book and reads the title to remind herself. “Oh, those two.”

“It’s like they’re clueless, like they can’t feel it.”

“Wonder what that’s like.” Mary-Beth says in a tone that makes you look at her in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She blushes, looking down at the fabric covering the dirt you both sit on. “Nothing, nothing at all.”

“You’re not getting away with the shy girl routine, Miss Gaskill.” You lean forward, interested now. “What’s so interesting.”

She looks up at you. “I… I may have given ya the book because they remind me of some people in camp.”

You knit your eyebrows in confusion. “Who?”

There’s no one in camp that comes to mind. Most of the feelings in camp are out in the air and have been long dealt with or avoided at all costs.

She waves her hand dismissively. “It’s nothin’ ya gotta worry about-”

“Yes it is.” You urge. “You gave me the book and put me through all of their annoying pining, so who in camp-”

“You and Sean!” She blurts, covering her mouth right after she says it.

You have to process for a minute before you laugh in disbelief. “Me and Sean?”

She nods, hand still covering her mouth.

“Are we talking about the same Sean?” You ask, raising a finger to point at her. “Words this time, Miss Gaskill.”

She sheepishly lowers her hand and places it with the other in her lap. “I’m sorry! I just read the book and they reminded me of how you to are always runnin’ around actin’ like ya don’t wanna fall in love-”

“Us?” You stifle a laugh. “I’ve always thought you were a funny girl, Mary-Beth, but that has to be the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Ya don’t see it, just like Edward.” She sighs. “And Sean keeps playin’ around, pretendin’ it ain’t real, just like Elizabeth.”

You shake your head. “I think you’ve finally lost your mind.”

“I have not!” She tosses the book back to you. “You keep readin’, you’ll see.”

You scoff. “The day I see anything like that about Sean is the day you can put me out of my misery.”

“Just read, you!”

You open the book again and continue with the story. Now that Mary-Beth has brought it up, you can’t stop imagining yourself and Sean in place of the characters. Sean is just as annoying, loud-mouthed, and stubborn as the girl and you happen to fall very much in line with the man. All of it makes you think back and you do see it. All the times you’ve come shockingly close to kissing Sean, every stupid smile that you recall having a flutter reaction to that you wrote off as sickness, that annoying bounce Sean has in his step and the silky look of his hair.

“Damn it.” You mutter.

Mary-Beth is smirking when you look at her, hardly paying attention to her book. She can see Sean over by the fire as he occasionally glances up from his whittling to look at you. Straight out of her romance books.

[popculturebuffet]

Into the Spider-Verse: Spider-Ham (Marvel Tails #1 and Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham #15) (Comissioned by WeirdKev15)

Hello all you happy webheads and welcome back to Into the Spider-Verse, my look at the origins of every webslinger from the landmark film in the build up to Across the Spider-Verse. And it's bittersweet to be this close to the end of the web here: i'm proud of myself for this project and kev for having cooked it up as it allowed me to really dig into my love of spider-man, and comics in general, with new ideas and even possible new retrospectives wholesale coming out of this.

But before we can end this ride, we still have one Spidey to cover, who after our previous spider-persons adventures with crackers and milk, their predecesors literal oppisite sex clone, mob goons without fear, rock n roll pop art halluciongens in your giant spider mecha, and giant spiders stripping you naked, one man comes along to say..

Yes it's time for the debut of Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham a

And i'm sure many of you, both those familiar with the comics and those who just watched the movie, are asking the same question: why. The answer is simple. Way way back in the 1980's, Marvel had a new animated arm, Marvel Productions, which was a massive deal, producing both GI Joe and Transformers, which both started as comics first to promote the upcoming toylines, as well as Dungeons and Dragons, My LIttle Pony Tales, Muppet Babies, Jem and the Holograms, Kid N Play and the Biker Mice From Mars. There were also of course marvel cartoons like Spider-Man(the 80s one), Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, The Incredible Hulk, the more popular Incredible Hulk and the infamous and destined to be covered Pryde of the X-Men Pilot.

So naturally Marvel wanted more ips to feed into the almighty merchandising machine, because shockingly, companies have ALWAYS wanted every dollar they can get out of making more and more adaptations as long s they can afford it. So two writers set to work to spitball this: They were Tom DeFalco, a longtime spider-man editor who would go on to write the guidebook I had as a kid that really got me into the comics and taught me a lot about his rogues gallery and more importantly would write the book himself briefly, being the one to crystalize Mary Jane's tragic Backstory and her knowing Peter Parker is spider-man all along. WIth him was the wonderful Larry Hama, at the time writing GI JOe for marvel.. and at the time of this writing STILL writing his continuation of that continuity for IDW as he should. Hama deserves all the credit for setting the foundations of the GI Joe universe most adaptations follows and for writing one hell of a comic in the process, and not one to rest on his laurels would later have the defining run on Wolverine's solo book.

So as you can imagine when these two legends get together.. they created a simple but enduringly weird joke that has lasted decades. It's a concept that just works: Spider-Man.. but he's a funny animal. Weirdly though Marvel Animation passed on it, not wanting anything to do with it despite the fact that in a time when Garfield was at the peak of his powers and they'd be making muppet babies, funny animals were a VERY easy sell. Seriously why Marvel Animation was so stupid is a riddle for the ages but Marvel liked printing money, so they put Porker in a one shot, Marvel Tails, parodying the marvel reprint mag marvel Tales. That said DeFalco didn't expect much from it and was suprised months later when the higher ups asked for another issue. He explained it was a one shot.. and then they asked when the next issue was and he got the memo. While DeFalco wrote the one shot that launched the character he freely admits he's not the one who made him a star. That honor goes to Steve Skeates. Skeates had been a mainstay in the industry, paticuarlly having a run on Aquaman i've been trying to read for some time that really launched the character to new heights before Superfriends would shove him back to the depths for a while. He was burnt out on the industry and freely admits he wouldn't of done the book for Larry Hama if it was any other book, but felt the format allowed him to do a throwback to the kinds of books he liked writing while still throwing in plenty of comedy to keep it fresh. The result was pretty great, with Skeates wisely having Porker's various foes not be the obvious joke of being the animals they resemble, for instance the Vulture being a possum in a buzzard suit instead of a vulture.

And we'll be seeing that contrast between Porker's humble one shot joke beginings and evolved more nuanced parody as unlike most of the characters featured... Porker didn't get his origin story for a while. While most of the spider-persons got there's in their very first appearance or arc, Porker's origin didn't come about till late in his solo books run. So today we'll be looking at both his first appearance in Marvel Tails, and his origin story in Peter Porker the Spectacular Spider-Ham #15 under the cut!

Spider-Ham begins his career in a typical spider-man setting: stopping a typical gang of thugs with ease and some quips. But it's not long before we get into one of the weird things about this story, something that just dosen't really work with it: Captain Americat. Cap is pictured here as Peter's steadfast partner and a reporter at his paper and none of this works. Now this is an AU, it COULD work and the idea of steve and peter being closer partners and steve mentoring him is great, just as the idea of Tony mentoring him was a brilliant one the movies captalized on. But here it's just treated as a normal thing without really being used for a joke that this is so unusual. A large part of this is something that's easy to forget as it hasn't been true about the character since the early 2000's. Spidey.. used to be a bit of a loner when it came to the rest of the Marvel Universe. Granted he was the kind of loaner who had an entire ongoing dedicated to him teaming up with other heroes and a tv show where he had two super college roomies he'd fight crime with, but when it came to consistant teamups his only real super friends were the fantastic four and in a few years Daredevil. Spider-Woman existed, but Jessica was largely her own thing by design, with only the name in common and wouldn't really become an ally or even friend of peter's till they were in the avengers together. Peter would have team ups but he really wasn't super close with the rest of the marvel universe. This changed in the early 2000's as his joining the new avengers gave him a lot of new allies in the marvel universe: He'd be on the new avengers until Brian Micheal Bendis left the book, he joined HIckman's avengers for the first arc, with Doc Ock taking his place, and joined the Mighty Avengers and Mark Waid's avengers afterwords, only in the last few years taking a break from the group entirely, ironically as his MCU counterpart became heavily associated with them himself. Not only that the dawn of the spider-verse and miles migrating to become the 616's second spider-man, meant peter soon had a spider-family.

Even now in his current tirefire of a solo i've been purposfully avoiding but suspect i'l lhave to confront some day, he has Ms Marvel, soon to be thrown in the fridge, Norman Osborn, long story, and his current girlfriend the black cat. Peter's no longer the solo operator he once was.. but back then it's very weird fo ra parody of the character to just.. casually hang out with Captain America regularly and this angle was wisely dropped.

This isn't the only weird thing in this issue either. For some reason rather than pulling from peter's many rogues, the issue has him face the Masked Marauder, some punk ripping off a super high tech arcade. It comes off more like a Scooby Doo Mystery complete with various red herings and the actual culprit showing up early on. He's not even the main threat as the everlovin hulk is also shoved into this issue. His origin is a little neat, with Bruce Bunny being an arcade game maker who gets shoved into a cabinet.

The result though just isn't that funny. Ther'es a good joke about steve stashing his shield in his coat

But otherwise i'ts just kinda.. there and didn't leave the best first impression back when I first read it. It's nicely drawn, but dosen't have much actually to say or any really satire of the character. It's clear they had the name but no idea what to do with it. THe backup is pretty funny though, the weird Goose Rider, take a while guess, who just.. spends it riding around, thinking about grabbing a burger, and dealing iwth shouty civlians and some random doofus called chainsaw. This satire.. actually works as from what I can tell Ghost Rider's early rogues gallery before his reinvention in the 90's wasn't all that impressive with few exceptions. It's more what I wanted. Thankfully when Peter got his title shot, things perked up and by the time we get to his origin... we get something delightful.

As you can tell both by the cover used for this review and from the title, this one's a parody of spider-man no more. Even if you haven't read the story (I've only read the iconic issue iwth the cover), you've doubtlessly seen it's cover, and the various homages to both that and the shot of peter throwing his costume in the trash and walking away, both by spider-heroes and the rest of the marvel. It helps that Sam Rami choose it as the backbone of Spider-Man 2 and ended up making an even BETTER version of the story in the process. Even Miles had his own version of it after his mom died and he blamed himself for it since the second ultimate venom was the reason she died. If you've read more recent comics and seen Rio alive and well that's because Miles befriended the Molocule Man, a very shy man with the power to control molocules... which shockingly for comics has been treated every bit as horrifyingly powerful as it should since his introduction, with MM's only real wekaness being his crippling neurosis. So when the universe died and was put back, Molocule brought her back as a thank you present. I had a point here.. ah yes.. I love the Molocule Man and feel he's a highly underated character. Oh that with the severe stress and sacrifice of being a spider-man, it's not a huge leap to have that moment of doubt. And it's an even shorter leap to take that moment and parody it and Peter's angst for all it's worth. We open with J Jonah Jackal hooking himself up to an idea machine while his three young wards, the junior newsboys watch. They are Jermiah Jackal, JJJ's snooty nephew, Bunson Bunny, our resident nerd who talks in big snetences and Upton Adam Stray, a combination of a black sterotype and

If your getting some deja vu from a rich magnate having three young sidekicks who both acompany him and try to steer away his worse instincts, one of whom is jonah's literal nephew.. GOOD. It means you have good taste and also get the bit. Spider-Ham has a bit of the old Scrooge McDuck stories in it's dna, simply adding spider-man and his rogues to the mix, and really JJJ is such a perfect fit for scrooge and Peter for Donald, that I can't blame both writers for dipping into this formula when it fits spider-man shockingly well now he's a pig.

This issue is written by steven Mellor, who took over the title later in his run, but like Skeates does a really fun job with it.

With Jonah having peter come to the clubhouse to view an idea he came up with that involves the kids

Peter deals with typical spider-man things. That is trying to get a date with his ex Betty Bat. It goes about usual for peter

Also as you might have noticed, hilariously, Peter Porker looks a LOT like John Mulaney, despite having been created only one year after John was born. I mean he's also a talking pig but the hair is distractingly like his future voice actors and I love it.

Baby P decides to handle this like a mature, rational young swine

Before bemoaning that he's still single.. what I like is that Mellor both really gets how Peter Parker Mopey Rants work, and milks it with everyone starring not sure what to do as peter ineternally rants and the janitor eventually asking him to leave as he's getting his tears on the floor. Peter then reflects back to his origin, the reason we're here. And even for a talking pig.. peter's origin is hilaroiusly bizzare. It's my kind of weird shenanigans. Okay so in this version Peter.. was a spider, which is clever enough.. but May was a mad scientest who befriended peter and showed him her new invention: a fission powered hairdryer. It made her radoactive, it wasn't good.. and well... I can't say what happens next and have most of you belivie it actually happened so here's photographic evdience.

This.. this is comedy gold, and clever as all hell. Just deciding to have may be radioactive nad bite peter. It's as nuts as it is brilliant and I love it. So we get the standard origin moments of Peter testing out his powers.. and we also get a nice gag out of him bending a pipe in the original amazing fantasy #15

Peter returns to find may basically the dodering old lady sterotype she was in earlier spider-man comics, and decides to look after her and not tell her the truth, as well as put his powers to use. Peter's genius in this version is also from the bite and thus Spider-Ham is born

After running into flash thompsons counterpart, who sadly isn't named flash beagle, we get jonah's meeting where he's dressed himself and the boys up in superhero outfits and ...

To become Black Beagle and his beagle brigadeers. Peter is dragged along for this and this.. is easily the weakest part of the issue. While the idea of Jonah becoming a hero himself is great and has been used well, here it's just kinda there and is mostly a setup for them to befriend "Andy Warthog" and see a bunch of celebrity pastiches. It's a boring page or two

Thankfully it picks up with a delightful parody of one of my faviorite spider-man rogue as the Hobgobbler crashes the party! God bless this pun. He kidnaps one of the celebrties and we get a ncie character moment. Despite how silly this character and his origin are... it's still neat to see the core of spider-man.. is still present.

No matter the universe, no matter who wears the mask... they can't turn down responsiblity. Try as he might.. Peter just can't let someone else get hurt if he can help it and that's what makes spider-man the hero we love so much: that drive to help people no matter what it takes. It's what makes a spider-person what they are wethere they be man, woman, ham or nb.

So Peter naturally wins, in a nicely drawn fight, cooks the turkey and drive sJonah home. He WANTS to just get some deserved sleep but Aunt May has other plans.. thankfully said plans give our hero his much deserved happy ending. Action is already his reward.

As you can probably figure, this issue is a massive improvment and it's clear even with two diffrent writers, the full ongoing got the concept better and more importantly had more fun with it. The result.. is fucking great. Also the puns. Dear lord the puns. And that's not getting into the backup which has the scavengers fight kangaroo the conquerer. Who damn well better be among the council of kangs. At any rate this issue was greatr and even with the brief slowdown, is a great issue, not only getting me reintrested in this run, but also showing off just what you can do with a parody: have it be both heartfelt and clearly get what it's making fun of while still being great.

Next Time: The web ends as we look at the movie itself. Anyone can wear the mask but is one Miles Morales up to the task? Can he fill peter's shoes? Well yeah, I mean there's even a sequel, but it's still one hell of a ride.

[sailorgundam308]

BG3 introspection bit

This one isn't edgy or funny. I just feel like sharing, prompted by seeing how, indeed, BG3 is one of the greatest if not THE greatest pieces of entertainment we've got in a long while. But I know for so many people it turned out to be much more than just that. That includes me. To make a long story short, I've been living a full world away from my loved ones for almost a decade, in a place that is particularly hostile towards me. I'm here out of necessity and choice, since my other option happens to be worse. It's been shockingly lonely, until I grew used to the isolation. Still, I made do. I make do. Around a few years back, and especially last year, things took a turn for the much worse. I've spiraled into a very, very dark place, which in turn isolated me even more from other people - but also from myself.

Being so far away from familiarity and the things I love worn me down, and disconnected from who I am and what I enjoy. To the point I effectively stayed in a limbo, frozen in time, empty, for the past years. It's been way more scary than when I was obviously and loudly sad or depressed, because at least then I had energy to react in some way. As an artist by profession and by passion, it was even more concerning that I could not create ANYTHING - words, images, even concepts. My mind had been simply silent, dead. I quite literally spent the last 3-4 years just existing, going to my job like a mindless clockwork because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make rent and end up getting deported. I knew I was utterly and completely lost, and had no idea what I could grab onto to pull me out. It was as if I couldn't move - I did not really wanted to, somehow.

It happens to everyone, I think, that sometimes a seemingly random thing that you engage with unexpectedly becomes a sort of lifeline. It happened to me once before, during a complicated part of my teens. And now it seemed to have happened again because I decided to play Baldur's Gate 3. I mentioned before, I am a bit older and have played BG1 and BG2, and also DnD and the like. I've always been the nerdy artsy type, and it had always fueled my imagination and gave me energy to keep creating, keep moving, searching, growing.

It was really a struck of luck that I heard the news that BG3 was a thing. I was so isolated I did not engage with any piece of media anymore - I watched no news, no movies, no series, read no books. When I think about it, it's really scary how I felt absolutely nothing, how truly empty of any will to live I was. But it's been wild for a while now. I happened to be on 'vacation' when BG3 got released, and I was sucked into it like I was desperate. And I probably was. I needed anything to take me away from where I was, who (or the lack of) I had become. The game did just that. It's not a coincidence I put 750+ hours in it. I could not stand looking at my own circumstances and somehow I managed to finally escape anywhere else. While I recognize I went to the opposite extreme of (problematic) engagement, I also saw how my mind seeemed to switch on again after a while - as if I was reminded of how it used to be.

Ideas, cohesive thoughts, images, the unavoidable urge to move, to create something - all these things that made me ME started to come back.

I remembered how much I enjoyed fantasy, fiction, having ideas, organizing, planning, making things come true - how much just marking a paper with a pencil brings me joy. How my own mind can be rich and exciting, and how I have the skills to translate those impulses into reality. And that is what made me, all my life. It's hard to explain how I feel after 4 years not creating a single thing, having no impulse or creative idea and watching life pass in a haze, now I feel like I'm finally reconecting to something precious. My doctor even pointed it out, how it seems I'm finally waking up after years, coming out of whatever dark hole I've been in.

While it's been a short while, I'm very aware this is essentially a hyperfixation, but for someone who (even though I tried) could not feel anything towards anything for so long, this seems like a blessing. And I'm doing my best to make a stair out of it - use the momentum to branch out into other things I know I need and miss, the other things that have always been part of my life that I'd let go of.

I'm probably not the only one who clicked with this game, and it somehow pulled us out of strange, scary places. Even though it's a lot of projection on our part, people in such situations need something they relate to in order to project onto, to grab to float. Not everything works, it must be something special to the person at the right time. Lucky me that Baldur's Gate 3 happened when it did, the way it did, and that I was where I was.

I'm really, truly happy I stumbled onto the news of the game, for whatever reason took action to actually buy it, open and play it. When I did, I had no idea it would be the lifeline I'd grab onto. But it's been, and it meant so much to me. That's all of my sad introspective blurb. I have no way of explaining how thankful I feel to everyone who put this game together. While it wasn't the intention of the creators, BG3 gave me the push I so desperately needed and that nothing else had managed to.

I'd still be lost in a very dark place without it.

:')