#these are the filters we used to use on tumblr let’s bring it back!

[thevirgodoll]

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here

I see people going back and forth over ms girl and her liking Bridgerton's post. Some saying it doesn't mean anything some saying they think it still means they are together. Now I say let's look back at her history. We know that she trolls the fandom. We know that she's attempted to make us think that she went to the wedding when she never did. We know she's taking pictures wearing shirts that Luke wore and pictures with Nicola and Jade. So my question is if we know that she's a troll and we know she uses the fandom to keep herself current and talked about why are we still putting value in anything she does? She has done things purposely to piss people off. People stopped reporting on things she does and then she goes and likes a Bridgerton post. Now people are talking about her. And curious people are going to go to her page. That brings traffic to her page. And all she had to do was like a Bridgerton post. Do you see how she uses the fans? A like on a Bridgerton post does not show if Luke and her are together. Likes do not equate a relationship. Some relationships end civilly with no bad blood. But I remind you, Luke has never called her his girlfriend. His team, when asked about her never commented. How do you break up with someone that you never officially dated in the public eyes? We still don't know what they were to each each other. Honestly, I don't care about this girl. She's blocked on TikTok. She's blocked on Instagram.. and if I ever find out she's on tumblr she's gonna be blocked here too. I don't like her energy. I forgot to add a point to the Spain part of my last post. Why do you think she needed to use that trippy filter in her post? Because it made it harder to view the background and compare. Personally, I think that if she was to do a regular video, we would've been able to see that they weren't at the same place. She trolls the fans. Please leave her page alone. Don't give her views.

💯

Seriously, just don't go to her page or give her any type of engagement! IT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS! And people keep falling for it and it baffles me 🙃

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-seven

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: please know, I do try really hard to get updates out every day but sometimes life happens. This story is so so important, I'm taking my time writing each chapter; especially since each chapter has been at least 7k words. Anway, enjoy!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

JOLLY

I stood in front of the coffee maker in our little makeshift kitchen on our bus as I waited for the coffee to brew. The usual cup I drank my coffee in hung from my fingers as I held it up in the air, the black letters spelling my name read upside down. There were deep brown stains etched into the ceramic and I mumbled to myself that I should wash it.

Once the coffee was poured over the old stains, I eased onto the couch while browsing through the emails in my inbox. Even though Finding God Before God Finds Me was released last year, the record label was pressuring us to write the next album which is the email I was reading right now. Matt told them that once the tour was over, we'd buckle down and start but that didn't seem to satisfy them.

A humming tune filtered from the back of the bus and I quickly recognized it as Noah. He was humming a tune that wasn't familiar to me and I leaned on my knees so I could look back into the bunk area of the bus, smirking when I saw him dancing; the tune getting louder.

Someone's in a good mood.

Ever since he and Y/N returned from the funeral a few days ago, Noah's spirits were surprisingly lifted. We were afraid he would come back in a catatonic state but he had a large smile on his face. They wouldn't say it but we knew something happened while they were gone.

Noah finally caught my amused expression, and he stilled, a red hue crossing over his cheeks. "I didn't know you were awake."

I hummed while taking a long sip of coffee. "Care to explain what has you in a jolly mood?"

He rolled his eyes while throwing a shirt at me. "Your dad jokes are getting worse."

"Avoiding the subject, I see," I teased while catching the shirt.

Noah shut himself in the bathroom but not before flipping me off.

NOAH

Shaking out the water from my hair, I stepped into the front area of the bus, not surprised to see Chase and Malcolm lounging on our couches. We just arrived to the venue but didn't have to worry about soundcheck until way later so we planned on hanging out on the busses. I noted how close the two of them sat next to each other, Chase's knee bumping with Malcolm's.

"You two should travel with us at this point since you're always here," I joked while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting next to Nick at the dinette table.

"If we could talk Y/N into it, we would," Malcolm grumbled.

Looking closer at them, I noticed the bruised knuckles on both of their hands.

"What the hell happened?"

Chase rubbed his head. "The other night, we got into it with Trey. We were tired of watching him treat Y/N like how he has and had enough."

I let out a low whistle while my heart hammered in my chest at hearing her name. "I'd hate to see what he looks like."

"Let's just say he's lucky he had a few days off to lick his wounds," Malcolm said.

"Where's Y/N, anyway?" Folio asked while sitting next to Jolly.

Malcolm drummed his fingers over his thigh as he sat back against the couch. "She's locked herself in her bunk because she doesn't want anyone to see her."

"Did something happen?" I rushed out in one breath while grabbing the water bottle tightly, the loud crackling noise echoing throughout the bus.

"She's fine. Actually, more than fine. She's in such a great mood she's been humming around the bus a lot lately. I think she's working on a new song," Chase said.

My stomach burned with the best intensity knowing that I was the reason for that.

"But the reason she doesn't want to see anyone is because she's afraid you guys will make a big deal out of today," Malcolm added.

"What's today?" I asked with a raised brow.

"It's her birthday," Chase informed.

Nick and I shared a look, almost immediately thinking the same thought.

"Text her and tell her you need to show her something inside the venue," I nodded towards Chase.

With his phone in his hand, fingers typing away, he still shot me a weary look. "What are you planning, Noah?"

I stood from the table and looked towards Folio. "Text Matt and say we need to borrow the van again today."

He winced. "He's still pretty upset about the sand in the van. I don't know if he'll let us."

"Matt will get over it," I shrugged while rummaging through my suitcase to grab a few things. "We're not going to let her spend her birthday alone on the tour bus."

Chase and Malcolm rose and muttered something under their breath to themselves before the latter ran a hand through his long auburn hair.

"It seems like you've got something planned but if I can suggest something?"

I set the beanie on top of my head and then nodded. "Of course."

"There's this Dasio store in town that she not so subtly brought up on the way here," Malcolm said.

"Oh, the one in that little outlet mall in town? It had the jewelry store right next to it? I saw it," Nick said nodding.

Chase held up his phone towards us. "She wants to know what I want to show her inside the venue."

Shit, I thought she'd take the bait.

I shrugged on my black hoodie. "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way."

Everyone smirked at my mischievous voice, and Malcolm motioned towards their bus. "She's alone so don't have to worry about any surprises."

"Meet you guys at the van."

Bounding down the stairs of my bus, I jogged the few feet distance to Hollow Souls bus and quietly sneaked inside where I heard a noise coming from her bunk. Ignoring how similar our buses looked, I stood in place, body frozen, as the soft melody of her voice crept deep inside my bones.

"But for now we stay so far til our lonely limbs connect. I can't keep you in my arms so instead you'll be in my mind."

I clutched my chest as she sang the words a few more times in different octaves of voice, trying to find the one that worked best. It wasn't anything like how she sang on stage. This had more passion behind the words and if I saw her, I bet her eyes would be closed in concentration, soft lips breathing out the words.

Fuck.

Shifting on my feet at the feeling of all the blood running to my dick as I remembered our kiss, I returned my focus to the whole reason I snuck on the bus. Yanking the curtain to her bunk back, I smirked as Y/N let out a shrilled shriek while covering her face with shaking hands.

"What the fuck, Noah! You scared the shit out of me," she seethed with no ounce of venom behind it.

My lips curled up in a lopsided smile. "Happy birthday, angel."

She stared up at me from her bunk with a surprised gaze but then a low scowl fell on her lips. "They told you?"

Ignoring her, I pointed to her outfit of black biker shorts and a black fitted tank; to me, she looked fucking breathtaking in this simple outfit, but I wanted to make sure that's what she wanted to wear out today. This day was about her and whatever she wanted, I'd give it to her.

"Fine with wearing that?" I asked.

I saw the way her eyes dwindled as the fight within her mind took over.

"Why?" She dragged out the word.

"Because you have two seconds to decide if you want to change or not. It's your choice; I'm not going to force you to change if you're happy with how you look."

She had her long hair pulled back in a tight braid but there was one small strand that hung into her eyes and she brushed it away eventually giving me a small nod.

"I'm happy with wearing this," her voice was quiet almost afraid that I'd change my mind.

My tongue darted out to wet my lips, an action she watched with intent eyes. "Good."

"What are you-?"

With my hand around her ankle, I slid her off of her bunk and threw her over my shoulder to carry her out of her bus. She protested by smacking my back but remembered what I told her the last time she was in this position.

"My shoes!" She yelled.

I turned around in a giant circle so fast; that she giggled with pure delight. It made my heart ache with the need to always hear that sound.

"Which ones?"

Y/N did the best she could to point in the right direction. "The bunk above mine has my shoes. Grab my docs."

Swiping them, I continued my run down the stairs to the outside air, her body bounding against my shoulder.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked.

"No, you're fine, Noah," she giggled. "But I'd love to know why you're kidnapping me."

I playfully scoffed. "It's not kidnapping if you're going to enjoy this."

Her nails scratched at my back and I shivered under her touch. "Hm, don't tempt me with a good time."

Swallowing thickly the desire to throw her against the bus to attack her lips again, I walked towards the van just in time to see Folio emerge from our bus.

"Shit, I didn't grab a jacket," Y/N cursed.

"Folio, can you grab my leather jacket? The one on my bunk?"

He raised a brow. "You sure you want that one?"

"Special occasion," I smirked while gently patting Y/N's ass.

"Hey!" she protested. "I'm way too old for birthday spanks!"

Don't fucking tempt me, angel.

Once we reached the van, I set her gently on her feet when Jolly and Nick took turns in a birthday celebratory hug. As much as she wanted to be upset about us celebrating her, the smile on her face gave her away. Chase wrapped an arm around her and left a kiss on her forehead while Malcolm did his typical fist bump.

"Happy birthday, kid." He said.

"Kid?" Her brows pulled together. "I'm older than you, dumbass."

Malcolm's fingers gently brushed across Chase's and I tilted my head at the small action.

"Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes.

Chase whispered something low in Y/N's ear and I watched as her face turned stone for a few brief seconds before giving a slow nod.

"I'm fine, Chase. The cramps haven't been that bad."

"Did you take your meds?" Malcolm asked. "I know you were worried about getting it refilled while on the road."

Y/N locked eyes with me for a few long seconds but before I could ask anything about whatever meds Malcolm was talking about, she turned her back to me so they could have their private conversation.

"Happy birthday!" Folio beamed his usual bright smile before giving her a high five and handed me my jacket with the free hand.

The smack echoed throughout the entire parking lot, and she hissed out in pain, shaking her hand.

"Y/N gets shotgun!" I raised my hand in the air, deciding it would be best to ignore the private conversation she had with Malcolm and Chase.

If she wanted me to know, she would tell me.

Y/N quickly shot me down. "No. I'm fine sitting in the back."

"Not going to happen, angel, it's your day. You ride front and center."

Even though we were almost ready to leave, we were waiting for Bryan who wanted to tag along to create a vlog day video for us. There was a chain-like fence that blocked off the edge of the parking lot with the sidewalk and I sat on it while I waited. Y/N watched me with a careful gaze and arms crossed over her chest.

"Please be careful, Noah."

"It's pretty sturdy. See?" I held onto it while jumping on my feet.

But my heart jumped into my throat when I felt myself lean too far forward and as I prepared myself to fall face-first into the concrete, Y/N's arms wrapped around me to save me.

"Shit, thanks," I muttered while back on my feet and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Looks like I'll be catching you when you fall," she winked.

I looked down at her full lips and the same pull that connected us made me dip my head low to close the distance when Bryan's loud voice caused me to take a step back.

"Matt wants us to bring some mochis for him since he's letting us borrow the van."

Jolly rolled his eyes. "Of course he does."

Bryan raised his camera towards Y/N. "Happy Birthday!"

When the large smile spread across her face as she threw up a peace sign, posing for the picture, my heart swelled inside my chest and the butterflies fluttered their wings at a rapid pace.

She's fucking beautiful.

"Hey!" We all turned our attention to the person who shouted, seeing Matt poke his head out from the crew's bus. "Be back by one for sound check! And fill up the van when you're done!"

"Yes, sir!" Y/N saluted.

Even though he was flipping her off, Matt smiled as he wished her a happy birthday.

"Alright, we should go," I wrangled everyone up into the van and then slid behind the wheel.

Once we were all settled, I handed Y/N the aux cord. "Birthday girl gets to choose the music."

She broke out in a wide grin and quickly pulled up some music on her phone. "I know exactly who I'm putting on."

Malcolm, who was sitting in the middle row with Chase and Bryan, leaned forward towards Y/N. "Joe?"

"Hell yes."

"Who's Joe?" I asked with a raised brow but kept my eyes on the road.

"Joe Mulherin. But he goes by the stage name nothing, nowhere," Y/N informed before deciding on a song.

I shrugged as the strum of notes played on the speakers. "I've never heard of him."

"He's pretty small, few people know about him," Malcolm said.

"Malcolm was the one who told me about nothing, nowhere. I've been obsessed with him the last year," Y/N admitted with a sheepish smile.

Taking my eyes off of the road for a brief second, I threw her a teasing wink. "Oh, should I be worried?"

"I don't know," Y/N rested her elbow on the armrest with her chin in her palm. "If Hollow Souls has the chance to tour with nothing, nowhere, I'm taking it."

"Over me?" I pushed out my bottom lip in mock disappointment.

She flicked my nose with her finger. "Definitely."

Her giggles bounced off the confines of the van as I took off my beanie and tossed it to her, both of our smiles radiating light. With the music tangling in the air with the various conversations, I looked into the rearview mirror out of habit and noticed Chase tuck a strand of Malcolm's hair behind his ear.

Y/N saw my confused gaze and rested a hand on my knee, squeezing me. "They'll tell you later."

I rested my hand over hers and squeezed it. "Well, are you ready for the first stop on your birthday surprise?"

"I can't wait!"

Her eyes sparkled with the brightness that made my heart stop every single time she looked at me like that.

NOAH

"Y/N, look at this," I chuckled while throwing on a random animal hat I'd found in an aisle at the Dasio store.

She was looking through some merchandise with Nick and when she turned up her gaze at me; she burst out into a fit of giggles, her hand covering her mouth.

"Wow, I love the new look, Noah. You should go on stage with it tonight. I can see the memes now. 'this is your favorite metal singer?"

Bryan, who also thought it was hilarious snapped a few pictures which gave Y/N the idea too as well but with her phone. I gave her a wide smile as she snapped a few pictures and when she was finished, I took off the hat then handed it to her. She eyed it warily.

"What?"

"It's only fair I get some pictures of the birthday girl wearing it," I said with a small smile.

I thought for sure she would fight it instead she put the hat on happily and threw up a sideways peace sign. Bryan and I both took an insane amount of pictures before I pocketed my phone and figured now would be the perfect time to slip away for the next phase of her birthday surprise.

"Shit, we should probably head back to the venue for a soundcheck," I made a show of checking my watch.

It was only noon but I needed a diversion and also because we needed Nick to have enough time to set up for the third phase of Y/N's birthday celebration.

"I'll meet you guys at the van in ten minutes," I handed Y/N my leather jacket. "It's cold out now."

"Always looking out for me," she mused while slipping on the jacket.

Fuck, she looked so good wearing it.

The sudden urge to see her wearing more of my clothes filled me but I ignored it by clearing my throat. "I'll meet you at the van. Think of what you want for your birthday lunch."

Her hand caressed mine as I walked past her and every fiber of my existence buzzed with electricity.

"Where are you going?"

I leaned close to her ear; the words brushing against her skin. "If I tell you, then it ruins the surprise, angel."

With a wink, I jogged out of the Dasio store into the small shop right next door. The lady behind the counter gave me a warm smile as she beckoned me over with a wave.

"Hi there, what are we looking for today?"

"Uh," I rubbed my chin with nerves because I realized I didn't know what type Y/N likes. But can never go wrong with something simple. "Do you have any matching sets?"

I pointed down the silver array in the glass case, and the lady smiled. "Like his and hers?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"We'll look at the more feminine choices first before looking for some for you."

For the next few minutes, she helped me choose the best set for Y/N and me. When she was bagging everything up after I paid, she raised a curious brow.

"Whoever she is must be special."

"Yeah," my heart skipped a beat. "She really is."

READER

"No fucking way!" I squealed. "Are you serious?!"

Nick buzzed the gun in his hand a few times and finished setting up the small cups full of different colored inks.

"What did you want to get done?" Nick questioned.

My mind filled with different options and designs but knowing we were pressed on time for before the show tonight, I went with a small design from another one of my favorite animes My Neighbor Totoro.

"I've been wanting to get a small Totoro tattoo for a while now," I beamed. "Another one of my favorite animes."

"Alright, give me a few minutes to get it drawn up."

I wrapped my arms around Nick. "Thank you."

"Of course, Y/N. Happy birthday," he returned the hug.

"So, who's first? Me or you?"

Turning on my heels, I let Nick finish setting up and stared up at Noah, his words registering in my brain.

"Wait, you're getting a tattoo as well?" I asked.

He gave me a lazy smile. "Yep. I was going to get Aogaeru."

My eyes widened. "The frog from Spirited Away? Are you serious?"

Noah stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged as if this idea wasn't a big deal.

"It was the first movie we watched together in the hotel after Keaton's funeral. Means a lot to me."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "You'd sit and get a tattoo with me?"

Noah brushed away a loose strand of hair that fell from my braid behind my ear, fingers trailing against the skin of my neck.

"I'd sit and watch ants crawl out of a hole for hours if that meant I'm sitting next to you," he vowed with hooded eyes as he stared down at my lips.

Memories of our kiss flashed in my mind, and I clenched my legs together. It had been days since then and every second since, the only thing I felt were his lips and how they tasted. It haunted my dreams in the best way and I craved to feel his kiss once again.

Trey. Don't forget about your boyfriend.

Right, the same boyfriend who didn't bother to say happy birthday before he left for his interview.

"I have something for you," Noah's deep voice snapped me out of my thoughts of his lips on every inch of me.

"Noah, you've done enough," I said.

He ran a hand through his hair before pulling out two velvet boxes from a bag that was sitting on the couch of the green room where we all were hanging out. My heart stopped for three seconds as he handed them to me.

"No-Noah," I stumbled over his name, shock filling me. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. Now open it."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened the box, and a gasp left my lips as the silver necklace and matching bracelet shined under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.

With wet eyes, I gazed up at Noah, who had a nervous look on his face as he fiddled with his wooden rosary. "Do you like it?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my embrace, burying my face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."

His large hands gripped my hips as we stood there in each other's embrace for a few more long moments, enjoying the warmth of each other. My mind was racing in pace with how fast my heart was beating as the sudden realization hit. My feelings for Noah slammed into me like a fucking freight train and I nearly choked on them.

Noah leaves an imprint on me like I’ve never felt before. He is a permanent mark on my skin, deeper than any tattoo or scar. I can pinch myself and feel the pressure want to implode because he's burrowed there. Even if it imploded, it would heal over and Noah would still have his imprint on me. It seemed as if he was meant to be there and as I stared into his deep brown eyes, almost black with his feelings, I decided I never wanted to remove him.

"You know," Noah cleared his throat while stepping away from me. "I got-."

"Noah, can I talk to you quickly?"

Nick motioned Noah over to where he finished setting up for our tattoos.

"Go," I nodded. "I'm sure we'll have more time to talk tonight."

With a reluctant sigh, he squeezed my hand as he met Nick halfway. My gaze lingered at his back and my bottom lip caught between my teeth as I stared a little too long at the way his jeans hugged his ass.

Someone cleared their throat from behind causing me to jump and I gave Jolly a sheepish smile. "I wasn't-."

He hummed while taking a long sip of his beer. "I see everything, you know."

I pursed my lips while clearing my throat and adjusted the leather jacket; Noah's leather jacket. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jolly."

"You sure about that?" He motioned to the jacket.

Rolling my eyes, I smacked his chest playfully before going to sit on the couch in the green room.

NOAH

"What's up?" I asked Nick.

"You're getting matching tattoos with her?"

I ran a hand over my chin, already preparing myself for this conversation. I knew the guys wouldn't understand why I was doing this but as long as Y/N didn't mind, that's all that mattered.

"You're thinking too much into it, Nick. It's just a tattoo. Plus, it's not matching. I'm getting one from a different anime," I said.

He shrugged. "Can you blame me? I'm just worried you slipping too close to the edge for her and you're about to fall without someone there to catch you. We barely got you back the last time this-."

"Don't," I sliced my eyes into him. "I don't want to talk about her."

Nick let out a deep breath and nodded, patting my shoulder. "Alright. I'm just worried, that's all."

Guilt ate away at me when I realized I snapped at him when Nick was coming from a good place. She fucked me up years ago, and it was something I was still dealing with to this day.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. Whenever she's brought up, I go back to that place, and today out of all days, I don't want to go there."

"What's taking so long?" Y/N came up beside Nick and poked his side. "Birthday girl is getting impatient."

I snorted. "You heard her, Nick."

For the next couple hours, we all chatted about our lives before becoming a band and I found out a lot about Y/N that I couldn't find out on the internet. She has a black cat back home in Vegas named Salem; a friend of hers takes care of him while she's on the road. She was adopted at six months old but her parents divorced when she was sixteen; her dad moved to Japan while her mom stayed in Vegas. She saw her dad every so often and wished that she moved with him instead of staying with her mom. Y/N felt like she had to stay with her because the divorce hit her mom hard which ended up almost destroying their relationship.

"Have you visited your dad recently?" Nick asked as he finished putting the cream over her fresh tattoo.

It was a small design of Totoro on her ankle; mine mirrored hers in design and placement.

"It's been a few years. I've been so busy with Hollow Souls that it's hard to take a trip that far. But I try to talk to him every day," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry the relationship with your mom isn't the greatest," Jolly frowned.

Y/N shrugged. "I love her but sometimes she forgets how to be a mom. She'd rather be a friend."

Chase kissed the side of her head since he sat next to her on the couch. "It's her own fault. She's missing out on seeing the kick-ass women you've grown into, Y/N."

"Yeah, fuck her!" Malcolm cheered while finishing his second beer.

Y/N tried to chastise him for cursing her mom but eventually, she agreed with a curt nod.

I sat on the armrest of the couch next to her. "Our tattoos look sick."

"I still can't believe you got a Totoro tattoo just because I like it," she chuckled while resting a hand on my thigh.

"That's exactly why I got it, angel."

Folio handed her a drink before passing out the rest of the bottles to all of us and I raised my beer in the air. "Happy birthday, Y/N! I hope you had a great fucking day because you deserve it."

She tapped her bottle with everyone before she turned towards me, a glimmering light beneath her pupils. "Thank you, Noah, sincerely. You've made the last few weeks something truly memorable."

We clinked out bottles and as I brought it to my lips; she watched it with careful determination.

Suddenly, her phone began to ring and as I peered down at it, my heart sank low to the depths of my stomach.

Trey.

"What the fuck does he want," she grumbled while standing to her feet.

"I doubt it's to wish you a happy birthday. Prick has been gone all day for a two-hour interview," Malcolm said.

She waved him off as she slipped into the hallway, leaving the door cracked open a bit, just enough to hear parts of her conversation.

"You were the one who left me alone today, Trey."

"I didn't plan on celebrating my birthday today. Noah surprised me with everything, I would not say no."

"Holy Hades, you're delusional. Nothing is going on between us. He's just a friend."

The words would have stung if I believed her but I didn't. We both knew that our feelings for each other were more than friends; the kiss proved it. My lips tingled as I remembered how she tasted or the way her teeth grazed across my bottom lip.

"Why should I come to you? It's not like you have anything for me."

There was a long beat of silence. "I'm sorry but the last thing I want right now is mediocre birthday sex where you'll get to finish while I'm laying there getting myself off as you fall asleep."

I didn't know whether to be impressed at her witty comeback or upset at the fact that she was stuck with that kind of guy.

Why the hell did she continue to stay with him?

"You didn't even post anything about my birthday!" She seethed, her anger echoing into the room. "You might think it's stupid but I don't know; to me it means something. Fucking Bryan posted a video compilation for me."

"Bryan's their photographer you fucking dick! Oh, my Hades. Not every guy I hang out with is trying to sleep with me."

Bryan shifted in his seat. "This guy sounds like a real prick."

Chase drained half of his beer in one go. "We know."

While she continued to talk on the phone with Trey, I whipped out my phone with a small smile pulling at my lips.

READER

"Yeah, fuck you too," I spat while ending the call.

Trey promised that if I met him on the bus, he'd make my birthday worth it.

"He can't even find my spot, how the fuck is he going to make it worth it." I rubbed the frustration out on my forehead with a long, calming breath.

Many would ask why I continued to stay with Trey but the answer was simple; he was familiar.

A familiar asshole who doesn't deserve you.

That part was true. It was my birthday and what did Trey do? Nothing. While all the guys spent the last few hours making me feel so adored and thought of, Trey didn't even post on his social media for me but you know who did?

Trey and Malcolm made compilations of random pictures throughout our time in Hollow Souls together.

Both Nick's and Jolly posted pictures they took of me while on stage to say happy birthday.

Even Bryan posted a small video compilation of me from when we went to the zoo.

With my phone still in my hand, it buzzed letting me know I received yet another tag on Instagram. This post was the only one that made my heart stutter wildly in my chest. Two pictures. The first was the picture he took of me today at the Dasio store with the animal hat on my head. The second one was a picture of our tattoos. The words he wrote in the caption made the butterflies flutter in my gut.

Happy birthday @y/n! I'm not attempting to be corny or some shit on this app, but I will say this: tour and this whole experience has been sick, and it’s been such a privilege to be in your presence, your talent is beyond measure, you inspire me more than you know and I hope you enjoy yourself. You deserve it. 🧡 P.S. The tattoo I got today hurt like a bitch.

Of course, he limited the amount of comments on the post but that didn't stop the few fans that tossed their absurd accusations about the post.

"I'm so fucked." I muttered while double-clicking the picture.

NOAH

"Has anyone seen Y/N?" I asked while poking my head into the green room seeing Chase and Malcolm talking amongst themselves; pretty close.

When they heard me, they broke apart pretty fast, and I raised a brow to them while crossing my arms over my chest. "You guys don't have to hide this, you know?"

I could practically see the weight lift from Chase's shoulders as Malcolm held hands with him. "I told you, Chase; no one cares."

"It's not that. It's still new and I don't want to jinx it," Chase admitted.

"Well, good for you guys. I'm glad someone has a happy relationship in your band," I grumbled the last part to myself.

Malcolm snorted. "Why are you looking for Y/N?"

I held up a bottle of Hennessy. "Birthday shots before you guys go on stage."

Bad Omens finished their set a while ago with Y/N watching the entire time and every time I caught her eyes on side stage, I made sure to either wave or wink; something to let her know I was always thinking about her.

When Chase asked for the bottle, I tossed it to him. "I think she's on the bus getting ready."

Nodding to him, I quickly walked out of the venue and over to her bus with my nerves working into overdrive. I wanted to find her for birthday shots but there was also something I wanted to tell her; something that had been eating away at me for the last few days, since our kiss.

She needed to know the truth. I just hope she felt the same.

No, I shook my head. I know she did.

Hollow Souls bus was dark, with no sign of life, until I heard soft moans coming from the back bunk area and the sound of skin on skin.

"Shit, Trey. So good."

My jaw dropped in tangent with my heart as the feminine moans burned in my ears.

"Fuck, baby. You're so tight. I'm gonna-."

"Harder please."

"I'm better than him, right? He can't make you feel like this?"

"No, just you Trey."

I blinked slowly as my brain tried to process everything I was hearing. They were having sex, and she was enjoying it?

"Angel," I whispered as tears burned in my eyes.

Movement out of the window caught my attention just as Trey groaned out a name, one that wasn't Y/N's. It was white noise as I stared at my friend, who was outside laughing and smiling bright with Folio who was probably telling her the story about how he tried to catch this huge fish but ended up falling into the lake.

Oh, shit.

If Y/N was outside then who the fuck was in the bunk with Trey?

I fumed as I ran down the steps into the parking lot where Folio only stood, Y/N nowhere in sight. As he saw the anger radiating from me in waves, Folio stepped in front of me to stop me.

"Where's the fire, man?"

"Where's Y/N?" I asked, fingers shaking with the need to hit something.

"She's about to go on stage." Folio could sense something was off because he forced me to look at him. "What the hell is going on?"

Pressing my tongue to my cheek, I spat out the words like venom on my tongue. "I caught Trey cheating."

"Fuck," he cursed while running a hand over his face while pacing. "You're sure?"

I nodded. "Heard it loud and clear."

Nick and Jolly came down from our bus at that moment and immediately could feel the tension. "What's going on?"

Folio filled them in on what I had heard and they both had the same reaction as him.

"What are you going to do?" Jolly wondered.

I threw a hand towards the building. "I have to tell her; she deserves to know!"

"We know," Nick nodded. "But wait until after their set. Let her perform with a clear mind, alright? That's the last thing she needs to focus on while on stage."

"Fucking prick cheats on her on her birthday," Jolly fumed. "Who the fuck does that?"

As if he could hear us talking about him, Trey appeared from behind with a smug smile on his face and ran a hand through his messy curls. "Sorry, I missed your show, boys. I was kind of held up."

"Really? Cause I don't see Y/N anywhere," I stepped up into him.

Trey eyed me up and down. "My girlfriend is none of your business, Noah. Back off."

“She isn’t cattle for you to own, Trey. From what I’ve seen, you don’t love her. You were balls deep into someone less than ten minutes ago.”

“Shut the fuck up, man you don’t know anything," Trey pushed my chest.

Jolly stepped between us while both Nick and Folio grasped my arms to hold me back.

“No. No, I do. I see everything,” I said through gritted teeth.

Nick's tight grip on my forearm had me taking a large step away from Trey, letting out a deep breath.

"Might want to stick around for the show. I hear it's going to be one to remember," Trey flipped us off as he slithered inside the building.

"I really fucking hate him," I seethed.

NOAH

No. Fucking. Way.

I thought I was angry before but now; I was seeing red. Jolly and Nick flanked me on both sides while Folio stood off in front of me as we watched Hollow Souls finish their set. As usual, they killed it even with Trey but I couldn't focus on how beautiful Y/N looked tonight in her yellow flowy sundress or the white vans that seemed to glow underneath the stage lights. She took her hair out of her braid and it cascaded down her back in waves.

The only thing I could focus on was Trey and how he kept getting close to Y/N, wrapping an arm around her or even once trying to kiss her while she was on stage. She was uncomfortable; it was clear in the way her shoulders tensed when she kissed him back. My heart ached when I saw that but I couldn't dwell on the pain for long; I was buzzing as I waited for Y/N to come off stage so I could tell her what I heard but apparently, Trey had other plans.

"As some of you may know, today is Y/N's birthday so let's give her a huge round of fucking applause," Trey screamed into the mic.

Everyone in the crowd sang happy birthday along with Trey but neither Malcolm nor Chase helped, both seeing how uncomfortable Y/N was. It was if she shrunk into herself and let her hair fall into her face to hide.

"I love you so much, baby. Hollow Souls would be nothing without you. You truly make me a better man. I put a small video compilation together for you. You better like it," he ended his words with a wink.

Y/N's attention turned towards one of the large screens that we usually use for graphics for the show and immediately, everyone knew that this 'compilation' Trey threw together was a bunch of bullshit. It was mostly pictures of Trey with Y/N barely in the background or the pictures she was in were all of their media pictures. Not one personal picture he took of her.

As if she felt me watching, Y/N gazed over at me with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Alright, thanks so much Cincinnati! Have a good night and get home safe!" Malcolm called into the mic and cued the techs to start the nightly ritual of clean up.

Once she was cleared, Y/N sprinted off the stage over towards us but before I could even a second with her, Trey was hot on her tail.

"What, no thank you?" He demanded while grabbing her arm.

She ripped it from his grasp. "Fuck off! Why the hell would you do that? That stupid movie barely had any pictures of me!"

Trey clenched his jaw. "You're being ungrateful."

"Ungrateful?" she scoffed with wide eyes. "We both know the only reason you did that was because you wanted to one-up the guys. You don't give a shit."

"Baby, can we talk about this in private?" He tossed a glare towards us.

"Actually," I stepped towards her. "I really need to talk to you."

"I need to be alone," she mumbled under her breath.

Y/N pushed past me to continue her path outside where I followed behind, not ready to let this die. She needed to know the truth.

"Angel," I reached for her hand once we were outside.

"Noah, please," she let out a shaky breath. "I need to be alone."

I shook my head. "Give me five minutes."

"Oh, what's the problem wannabe Oli Sykes? Something upsetting you? Mad she won't spend the rest of her birthday with you?" Trey teased as he came up behind Y/N and wrapped an arm around her waist.

She brushed him off. "Can you give me a minute, Trey? Please, just a fucking minute."

Reluctantly he nodded but pulled her in for a heavy kiss and I averted my eyes down to my worn vans. I didn't need to watch as Y/N kissed him back for the briefest of moments before pushing on his chest.

"Two minutes then I want you on that bus, dress off," Trey smacked her ass before stalking up towards their bus.

Y/N wiped at her lips. "What do you want, Noah?"

"You can't go back to him, angel." I reached for her hand again and felt the weight around my heart ease when she intertwined our fingers together.

Tears burned in her eyes and I could tell she was seconds away from a breakdown.

"Why?" Her question wavered.

I swallowed the large lump in my throat. "He cheated on you, angel. I walked in on it."

Her broken stare barley lifted from the dirt on my shoes but the way she recoiled her hand from mine tightened the weight all over again.

"What?"

I tried to reach for her again but she smacked my hand away. "You're lying."

"I'm not," I shook my head. "Why would I lie to you about this?"

Her lips parted, nothing coming from her mouth, until she let out a stronger breath. "Be-because of the-."

Suddenly the anger intensified when I realized why she couldn't finish her sentence; she was afraid that if she said the word it would become real for her and force her to think about it.

"The kiss," I deadpanned. "You can say it, angel. We kissed. But that has nothing to do with Trey cheating on you!"

My voice was raised now, but I didn't care who heard. The only one that needed to be standing right in front of me.

"You're supposed to be my friend, Noah. Why would you even say that?"

Tears fell from her eyes and I had to force my hands into my pockets so I wouldn't wipe them away.

"That's why I'm telling you! And don't pull the friend card, you know this," I pointed between us. "Is more than that."

She turned her head away from me. "I don't know what you mean."

"Bullshit." I scoffed. "You know exactly how you feel, angel. Stop ignoring it."

"Did you see him?"

Her voice was so quiet, that I almost missed her question.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Did you see him?" She snapped, eyes slicing into me.

My nostrils flared. "No, but I heard him."

"Please, he could have been watching porn," she defended.

It was as if someone had slapped me across the face.

"I've listened to better audiobooks with sex than that," I said.

"Trey said you would do this. Tell lies to confuse me." She took a step away from me.

"You're taking his side over me? Even after everything he puts you through," I asked, dumbfounded.

She shook her head, not meeting my gaze again. "You don't get it."

"No, I get it loud and fucking clear, Y/N! You're so afraid of how you feel for me, for us, that you're staying with something familiar even though he treats you like shit!"

"There's no feelings here, Noah. That kiss was a mis-."

"Don't," I took a large step towards her. "We know it wasn't a mistake; we both wanted it."

Her tears stained her face, mascara leaving black trails underneath her eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm used to this. I can handle it."

I stared at her for a long moment, shocked that she was taking Trey's side. Yes, I might not have seen him, but I know what I heard.

"Fine," I eventually nodded and ran an aggravating hand through my hair. "When you wake up from this delusional world you're in, you know where to find me."

With a final look of betrayal, I left her standing in the middle of the parking lot, her soft cries running daggers into my chest.

[leonaquitaine]

How-to: Orbit Camera

Today we'll escape the boundaries of the game and use a mix of recording and editing tools to create a neat orbiting camera video!

For this recipe, you'll need:

1 x PC (these instructions were tested on Windows 10)

1 x FFXIV Client

1 x screen recording tool (Geforce Experience, Radeon Adrenaline, etc.)

1 x Avidemux (https://avidemux.sourceforge.net/)

GShade to taste

1 - Setup

Let's open the Character Configuration under Settings. in the General tab, locate the Camera Speed (Keyboard) slider, and set it to zero. This will give us that smooth, slow camera movement.

At this point, you need the screen recording tool ready. I have GeForce Experience, so I'm using the Instant Replay function to save the last 5 minutes of gameplay; YMMV.

2 - Capture

Let's enter GPose. Position the camera so your character takes most of the screen while leaving some padding around, turn off the UI (Scroll Lock or LB+Back), and move your cursor to a corner.

Start recording, and use the Left/Right arrow keys to orbit the camera around your character. If your character is frozen (Target Motion toggled off) a couple of full circles are enough. At this point, you can stop the recording.

3 - Editing

Launch Avidemux and open the raw video. Now we're going to adjust some values.

First, let's disable the audio. On the top menu, select Audio > Select Track, then uncheck all the Enabled checkboxes. This will mute the video.

Filters are how we'll modify the original video. By default, the Video Output is set to Copy; in order to enable filters, we need to select a custom encoder. Let's pick one that's pretty common and compatible across most services; in my case, I selected NVidia H264.

Now the Filters button should be enabled. Click it; the Video Filter Manager interface should open.

These are the filters I'm using for this video:

Crop (to eliminate the unwanted background, bring attention to the character and set the target 1:1 aspect ratio)

Contrast (to prep it for devices with better luminance range, like phones)

swsResize (to create a smaller video file)

4 - Trimming

Now, the tricky part: In order to create a seamless, cycling orbit movement, the first frame of your video must match nicely with the last.

The way I do this is by browsing the video (Click the slider at the bottom, then use the Left/Right arrow keys) for a frame with a clear feature (say, a light source coming behind the character), clicking Set End Marker (Control + PGDOWN), then Delete Selection (DEL). This will eliminate all frames up to that point.

Now, I locate the exact same frame later in the animation once the character is spun around once, click Set Starter Marker (Control + PGUP), then Delete Selection (DEL). If done correctly, now you have a full cycle!

Finally, the output format: Select MP4 Muxer, again a compatible format that'll work nicely with services like Twitter and Tumblr.

And… that's it, really! Now click Save Video and give the new file a name.

And so, a new orbit camera video is born. Enjoy!

[hogwarts-legacy-confessions]

Anon writes:

"Right, let me get this straight. 

Creators in this fandom are shamed for being over 30 or made fun of for being under 30. We're wrong for shipping our MC's with the popular NPC's but just as wrong if we share "too much" lore about our original characters. We're shamed for putting our characters in too much makeup or modern clothing, shipping gay characters because it's not "era appropriate" (despite same sex marriages being literally CANON in the game), or for not shipping gay characters "enough", imagining characters in relationships that would "never happen" because some anon said so, aging up our characters, not aging up our characters, or making an error in a fic that we shared for pure enjoyment and fandom enrichment. If we're popular, it's only because people are sucking up to us, but if we're too nice or supportive, it means we're only chasing clout — and if we DARE try to cultivate some positivity by giving accolades to our favourites on the hype blog, we're made fun of for "sending anon hype about ourselves." 

*slow clap*

It's like you people don't WANT this fandom to exist.

I speak directly to those of us who have personally felt the negative effects of this blog:

Block it, ignore it, filter it out of your feed — do whatever it takes to protect your energy. 

Fandom is a space for YOU, not some nasty-ass anon. Your blog is yours, your creations are yours, your characters, stories, artworks are YOURS and you can do whatever you want in the pursuit of your own happiness without having to adhere to a bunch of nonsensical judgements from self-entitled anons. If they don't like it, they can eat rocks. Or alternatively, use how to use the filter system. 

Babes, you owe these people NOTHING. Stop listening to them. 

Personally, I believe this blog has done irreparable damage to our small fandom and I hope fervently for it's deletion.

Bye."

....

I've done this anon the favor of blocking her from this blog so she can more easily avoid the temptation to look at it. I thank her for her honesty that what she wants is this blog deleted.

I'm not the type to cave to social pressure, so that's not going to happen.

I do agree with what this anon said about not letting things posted here get to you. People are expressing a variety of viewpoints, and oftentimes, even on this blog, others are disagreeing with them and they are sometimes even ratioed.

But - I urge you - if your presence in fandom can't coexist with any criticism, no matter how indirect, that's something that needs to be explored on your end.

I'm a creator too, you know. I'm a writer for starters. I also make the dreaded AI-audios, I make videos, I post photo mode grabs and all kinds of other things. Does everyone like my work? No. Have people expressed that to me? Yes. Have people posted anons here that applied to me, or were directly targeted at me? Also yes.

I don't expect everyone to have my thick skin, but if this blog's mere existence is that bothersome to you, I urge you to please submit an anon request to be blocked. This will make it less easy for you to peek at the blog through your fingers.

Seriously - I've already removed a lot of posts, and vowed to be more censorious going forward. If you won't be satisfied until this blog is no more, I don't know what to tell you. If you have someone in your DMs who is constantly sending you things from this blog or bringing it up, you need to ask them to stop. Otherwise, it's up to you to curate your experience on Tumblr, because I have never once seen a negative post about creators from here be reblogged by more than about one person, and often with plenty of push back. So try to put it in perspective for sure.

Hope this helps.

[idrellegames]

Wayfarer Dev Log 2023.03.06

Hi friends!

It’s been a while since my last proper update in January. I am recovered from illness and mostly back to normal; with the days getting longer and actually having sunlight now, it’s easier to stay focused than it was in the winter. A lot of developments have happened in the interim, so I’m hoping this dev log will serve to get you caught up on things I’ve been keeping under wraps until now.

✦ New Blog Reveal

My blog’s desktop theme has been redesigned and updated! Huge thank you to @ethereal-themes for taking this on, I am in love with the new look.

Desktop theme

About

Navigation (with updated tags!)

FAQ

Character Roster (updated with Episode 2 characters + sortable, including by romance type)

These pages cannot be viewed in the tumblr mobile app, but they can be viewed by inputting the link into your mobile browser. Mobile versions of the updated FAQ information and tag list are forthcoming.

Many thanks to @memaidraws for my new blog portrait of Alexia. 💕

Additionally, I am no longer tracking the tag "wayfarer" for community content. The tag has become overrun with bots that makes it very difficult to filter. If you've created something you'd like me to see, please use the "wayfarer if" tag or tag my blog!

✦ The Public Build

A new patch should be coming sometime in March to fix lingering bugs and issues in Episode 2. This patch will require a full restart of the game. Once it releases, you should not use old saves otherwise you may encounter continuity errors and bugs in later episodes.

✦ The Alpha Build

Work on the next alpha update is progressing. I am still writing slower than I usually do, but I am coming up on the end of a major branch. There should be a new alpha release later in March that will cover one half of Episode 3 Part 1.

Even though not all possible routes will be included, the update will add over 300,000 words of new playable content to the game.

✦ Development Changes

Until recently, Wayfarer was planned to be a free game. This is no longer the case. Though I am not ready to announce the full details yet, the game will be eventually be moving to a free demo + paid full game model later in its development cycle.

Act 1 (which includes the Prologue and Episodes 1-3) will remain free to play. Future pricing for non-Patreon early access to later episodes while the game is in development is TBD.

Because this change impacts some behind-the-scenes things, I am need to gauge how much of Wayfarer’s playerbase plays the game on their phone versus a computer.

If you would like to help me out, check out this poll here and let me know what device you regularly play on!

✦ Wayfarer 2023 Pin-Up Calendar

The Wayfarer Calendar is now closed! A huge thank you to our contributing artists and everyone who donated. Altogether, we raised $1094.54 USD. These proceeds were donated today to the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice.

I am so honoured that the calendar was a huge hit. On behalf of our organizers, I would like to thank everyone for their passion and excitement for this project. It’s too soon to announce whether we will do something like this again for next year, but there may be another calendar on the horizon…

If you’ve enjoyed Wayfarer, used my tutorials, or would like to support my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patrons receive access to the alpha build, a private Discord server, exclusive previews, bonus content, side stories, and other benefits.

(Please note that if you are pledging solely for access to the alpha build, the alpha and the public build currently contain the same content.)

Wayfarer is a passion project and creating it is a full-time commitment. Any little bit goes a long way to help me bring it to fruition.

If you aren’t in a position to support financially, reblogs, shares, ratings and comments, and spreading the word about the game are much appreciated and do a lot to help me out! 💕

[amyyscorner]

Tumblr is a great platform. Sometimes.

Let me explain.

I've been active on tumblr for since 2015. I've seen communities come and go. I've lived through the porn, the ana blogs, every post having a supernatural gif in it's reblogs and through a lot of assholes.

Tumblr is able to bring communities together. While pages like Twitter exist purely to judge what people do, tumblr exists to create. It started out as a platform for blogging. And in one way or another it still is.

Now, I've been on the fanfiction side of this hellsite for quite a while now. But the uprise in hateful messages sent via anon are on an insane level, lately, that I do not remember experiencing before. During the last few years, so many creators have gotten unsayable things sent to them, that it often ended up with them disableing their accounts - never coming back.

I want everyone to understand something: If you send something into someones inbox, they will read it. They will see it. Even if they do not respond to it and don't post it. If you write something anonymously, then you have that power we love about the internet. Anonymity in its purest form.

Please consider the person on the other side of the screen. We are not celebrities with a PR-Team checking our comments for us. We read everything ourselves. We filter through messages ourselves. If you use someones shared pain against them, then you are causing incredible amounts of pain. A lot of us treat tumblr as a safe space. We smile about our favourite people, write little scenarios, make silly art and we yell out our thoughts. All of them. Good and bad. As creators we do not owe anyone anything, but ourselves. Please genuinely remember the person behind the screen. They're probably just like you. Some are on their way to school right now, others are just back from a night out drinking with their friends. Some haven't left their bed all day and others are hugging a parent. We are all incredibly unique people with unique experiences.

The next time you want to send a message anonymously, consider if it may be hurtful. You are here because you share an interest. Do you really want to cause harm to the person that just made you feel warm inside?

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ve been writing nothing but headcanons during the weekend, so let’s catch up! It’s Monday tradition at this point.

The majority of replies are somewhat related to our recent posts (not every single one though)

Anonymous asked:

What is Katsu's tumblr and what fandoms do they post for?

Katsu mostly uses every platform for lurking (aside from like one personal non-fandom page) and only posts on the Nebula College tumblr, which is our project.

But also, all the fandom stuff that Katsu does is tied to my posting, so it’s all here! Mostly in form of ideas behind some art/comics and sometimes posts.

Anonymous asked:

Do you mind tagging stuff with p*ss specifically? It makes me uncomfortable so I would prefer to be able to exclude them by tags. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude!

I am sorry, Anon, but as you might have noticed, we don’t tag this kind of stuff (for several reasons).

Please use post content filtering; it should filter the entire post (not just the tags) and hide it for you if p*ss or any other theme that you are uncomfortable with is mentioned.

Thank you.

Anonymous asked:

What did Malleus do?

(this is about this post)

Demanded attention, got refused and still decided to kiss Lilia. Lilia is having a hard time with this boy sometimes… Or is it Malleus who is having a hard time with Lilia?

Anonymous asked:

I LOVE THE GOOFILY DRAWN FLOYD

I died of laughter

(this is about this post)

THANK YOU ANON, I love when these little doodles work well with the comic and I get to keep them in the final edit. This is like Floyd’s true essence…

Anonymous asked:

Azul Ashengrotto: Fastest Man Alive 😒

(this is about this post)

I know, right? And he’s proud of it, too!!

Anonymous asked:

Floyd gets beat up on purpose so he can go see Riddle, I just know it.

(this is about this post)

This seems to be the most common conclusion, Anon! But actually Floyd is just way too silly and irresponsible… Azul and Jade keep telling him that he should always have a gun to defend himself, but Floyd keep pushing his luck.

Maybe he really does love coming back to see Riddle for the third time in one week~

Anonymous asked:

are you strict on riddle only being shipped with trey, che'nya, ace and floyd? or are you open to other ships as well?

im asking this because i wanted to ask about your thoughts on certain ships, but i do not wish to overstep. so i just want to make sure!

In general, as long as it doesn’t break the top/bottom thing (see our pinned for details), we don’t mind anything, so feel free to ask!

Anonymous asked:

some times i just look at your tops and bottom lists and throw characters together. like Gidel/Leona because Imagining a stray domestic kitten fucking grown lion royalty… so uh thank you for that mental image!

Anon, this is a fun game lol Sometimes randomness brings such interesting ships that you end up shipping it unironically, I think we’ve had multiple ships like that in other fandoms….

Gidel/Leona though 😭 Leona would automatically assume that Gidel is just as naïve and stupid as any other kitten and regret his judgment greatly. Gidel is a menace to this grown lion royalty…

Anonymous asked:

I see the ship thing has 2 doms sharing a sub like tweels x riddle

But what do u think about 2 subs sharing a dom? I have no idea what an example would be.

We’re more prone to multiple tops/doms + a single sub/bottom, but that doesn’t mean that another scenario is completely impossible! If it works with the dynamic, we’ll love it. But for some reason, I guess we’re just not that interested. It’s good in theory, but doesn’t click, idk why.

Theoretically… Ace could have a wet dream about both Deuce and Riddle at the same time, for example. Azul would love to have Idia and Jamil at the same time too, but this is also a realm of his intense power fantasies lol

Lilia could have fun with multiple boys too, technically nothing stops him. Well, he probably wouldn’t add Malleus to the mix though because it might offend him lol

Rook would also enjoy having multiple subs at once tremendously…

Anonymous asked:

How would the tweels share their partner doing sex? Would they take turns or shove their dicks in at the same time? So basically double penetration

I think they would do both, Anon. They would start with taking turns, but then at some point Floyd would get impatient and say that he doesn’t want to wait + doesn’t want to get his dick sucked either, so Jade has to either move over and get lost or suggest double penetration. And it’s pretty obvious that he would pick the second option~

But also I think it depends on a hole and how stretchy it is…

Anonymous asked:

Ever since I got into Danganronpa, I entertain myself by making executions for random characters. Azul’s is looking pretty gruesome thus far.

OHHH Azul would have an amazing execution.

But I also feel like he would end up becoming a takoyaki or something among the lines.

Anonymous asked:

"Results on the jellyfish sting experiment:

The recent fieldtrip to the beach, which in my boundless graciousness I offered to the students as a chance to rest away from their obligations, has revealed to be the perfect environment in which to prepare this test. To measure each dorm's loyalty and their ability to take swift decisions when deprived of magical aids, we took notes on their reactions after each housewarden was stung by a jellyfish.

Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw students were the quickest to spring into action, leaving their housewardens little time to protest before providing relief with their own urine. We had made preparations in advance to make sure that no one would get hurt if they had decided to lash out, but it seems we might have underestimated the danger that Rosehearts poses even without his magic. We wish for all the unfortunate victims a speedy recovery.

Both Octavinelle and Pomefiore were far more willing to let their leaders take care of the problem. I had accurately predicted that the ones selected by the spirit of the Beautiful Queen would know better than just believe some baseless rumours, and it seems that Octavinelle students might have believed Ashengrotto to be used to this sort of incidents as an acquatic creature himself. Interestingly, when the two housewardens were stung by the jellyfish and some of their students were wondering if they should urinate on it, both vice-housewardens had responded individually with "How should we do that? It already swam away!". Needless to say, neither housewarden appreciated the joke.

As expected, we weren't able to get Al-Asim without also hurting Viper who, despite our best efforts to catch them while his guard was down, took the first hit for him. The Scarabia dorm split pretty evenly to tend to the two of them, and it surprised me greatly to note that their housewarden already knew about how inefficient urine is as a remedy. Viper on the other hand was unable to get his exuberant helpers to listen to him. I suppose that they may not yet fully trust his judgement after the events that took place during winter break. Even so, they were all so eager to aid him, I can't help but get teary eyed witnessing the care they hold in their hearts for their vice-housewarden.

Diasomnia students ended up spilling more tears than any other fluid, rallied on by Vanrouge to assist their leader. Were they tears of pride in being of use to the heir of Briar Valley? Or shame for sullying him? When questioned about it, the students weren't quite sure either. They also had to restrain one of the first years, who will remain anonymous, from chasing after the culprit into the depths of the ocean to get revenge.

Similarly, the younger Shroud also took the lead, giving his fellow dormmates a speech that I found far more... unothodox than Vanrouge's. At times he made it sound almost like the real objective would be the humiliation of their housewarden, which stirred the students in a completely different direction from the one I intended. For a brief moment I was afraid that it would lead to a prank war the likes of which I haven't seen as headmaster since the great hedgehog repopulation incident from fifteen years ago...

P.S. Funya~! Why doesn't anyone just pee in the sea when they go in? That way it cancels out the jellyfish venom when it stings you!"

Just decided to be a funny guy in the ask box today...

(this is related to this post holy shit)

Anon, I am honestly speechless. I don’t even have anything to add, let me just stand up and clap. It wasn’t just a jellyfish sting, it was a proper behavioural + sociological survey!! 😭

I really chuckled on the “it already swam away” part, more than I should have…

Plus the little comment from none other than the fluffiest peeing-in-the-sea expert, it makes it extra perfect.

Thank you for this ask…

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member helps her dear Tzuyu unnie with a nightmare

A/N: Heyyy, I'm trying to make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that the anon who gave me this idea on Tumblr likes it!

The request: hi unnie, can i have a request that Tzuyu had a bad dream about the Twice 10th member dead. So Tzuyu rush to the 10th member and cried out. But the member didnt listen to her. Later at the night the 10th member wants to go out but Tzuyu didnt let her

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

The moon cast a gentle glow over the city, the night air hanging still and silent. Tzuyu, the second youngest member of TWICE, stirred restlessly in her sleep. She found herself trapped in the clutches of a haunting dream, a nightmare that refused to let go. In the depths of her subconscious, she saw Y/N, the 10th and youngest member of the group, lifeless and cold.

A gasp escaped Tzuyu's lips as she jolted awake, beads of sweat clinging to her forehead. Her heart pounded in her chest, the residual fear of the dream lingering in her mind. She reached for her phone, the digital clock glaring 3:00 AM. Her fingers trembled as she dialled Y/N's number, urgency colouring her actions.

The phone rang several times before a groggy voice answered on the other end. 

Y/N - Hello?

Tzuyu - Y/N! Are you okay?

Tzuyu's voice trembled with a mix of fear and desperation.

Y/N, still half-asleep, mumbled a response. 

Y/N - Tzuyu unnie? What's wrong? It's so late.

Tzuyu took a shaky breath, trying to steady her voice. 

Tzuyu - I had a nightmare about you. A terrible one. I need to see you, please.

There was a pause on the other end, then a soft sigh. 

Y/N - Alright, give me a few minutes unnie.

Tzuyu hung up the phone and paced nervously around her room. The remnants of the nightmare clung to her like a persistent shadow. She couldn't shake the image of her little sister's lifeless form, and the fear gnawed at her insides.

Minutes later, a knock echoed through Tzuyu's door. Y/N stood there, rubbing her eyes, her expression a mix of concern and sleepiness. 

Y/N - Sis, what's going on?

Tzuyu's eyes were wide and teary as she pulled Y/N into a tight hug, almost desperate in her need for reassurance. 

Tzuyu - I dreamt that you... that you were gone. It was so real, Y/N.

Y/N's eyes softened, understanding dawning on her. She ran a soothing hand through Tzuyu's hair. 

Y/N - It's just a dream, unnie. I'm right here, alive and well.

Tzuyu pulled back, her eyes searching Y/N's face for any sign of the nightmare. 

Tzuyu - I know it's just a dream, but it felt so real. I couldn't shake the fear. *frowns*

Y/N - Sometimes dreams are just our minds playing tricks on us. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay? *smiles gently*

Tzuyu nodded, her shoulders sagging with relief. 

Tzuyu - Thank you for coming. I needed to see you.

Y/N yawned, the late hour finally catching up with her. 

Y/N - Can we talk more in the morning, though? I'm really tired, and you should get some rest too.

Tzuyu hesitated but nodded. 

Tzuyu - Yeah, of course. Sorry for waking you up.

Y/N waved it off with a smile. 

Y/N - It's okay. We may not share the same blood but we're sisters, right? Now go get some sleep, and we can talk more in the morning.

As the first light of dawn began to filter through the curtains, Tzuyu found herself unable to shake the unease that clung to her. The nightmare still lingered, a dark cloud over her thoughts. She watched as Y/N slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in her older sister's mind.

Later that day, the members of TWICE gathered for their schedule. Tzuyu couldn't shake the feeling of dread that loomed over her, the nightmare still haunting her thoughts. As the day wore on, she couldn't concentrate on anything, her mind constantly drifting back to the vivid images from the dream.

As evening approached, Y/N noticed Tzuyu's distracted demeanour. Concern etched her features as she approached her unnie. 

Y/N - Sis, is everything okay? You seem off today.

Tzuyu bit her lip, debating whether to share the details of the nightmare. In the end, she took a deep breath and decided to confide in Y/N. 

Tzuyu - As I mentioned, I had a bad dream last night, about you. But it felt so real, and I can't shake the fear that I felt.

Y/N's eyes widened, her concern deepening. 

Y/N - What exactly happened in the dream?

Tzuyu hesitated before recounting the details, the chill of the nightmare seeping into her words. Y/N listened intently, her expression growing sombre as she absorbed the weight of Tzuyu's fear.

Y/N - Wow. That sounds really intense. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Y/N finally whispered after Tzuyu finished talking. 

Tzuyu nodded, a heaviness in her chest lifting as she shared the burden with Y/N. 

Tzuyu - I know it was just a dream, but it felt so real, and I can't shake the fear of losing you.

Y/N reached out, squeezing Tzuyu's hand reassuringly. 

Y/N - I'm right here, Tzuyu unnie. I'm not going anywhere. Dreams can be scary, but they're not real. We're family, and I'm here for you.

As the evening wore on, Tzuyu's anxiety began to ease. Y/N's words were a salve to her troubled mind, and the bond between the two sisters strengthened. However, as night fell once again, a new wave of unease settled over Tzuyu. The nightmare still lingered in the recesses of her mind, and she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

In the quiet of the night, Y/N stirred from her sleep. The moon bathed the room in a soft glow as she sat up, sensing Tzuyu's restlessness. 

Y/N - Sis, are you okay? *whispers as she reaches out to shake Tzuyu gently*

Tzuyu blinked, her eyes wide with fear. 

Tzuyu - Y/N, I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen. Please, promise me you'll be careful.

Y/N frowned, concern etching her features. 

Y/N - Tzuyu, it's just a feeling. You can't let a dream control your emotions. I promise I'll be careful, okay? But you need to get some rest.

Tzuyu nodded reluctantly, the fear still lingering in her eyes. 

Tzuyu - I just can't shake this feeling of dread.

Y/N sighed, pulling Tzuyu into a comforting embrace. 

Y/N - I understand that you're worried, but you can't let fear control you. I'm here, and I'll be careful. Now, let's get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day.

As Y/N held her sister close, Tzuyu felt the warmth of the embrace soothing the lingering fears. The bond between the two sisters was unbreakable, and as they drifted back to sleep, the moon watched over them, casting a protective light over the shared dreams of the night.

And this made them share one thought:

I love my dear chosen family.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

[ask-emily-em-emmy]

Hello!!!

My name is Emily, but you can call me Em, Emmy, E or pretty much anything like that!

My job in heaven is to bring joy to all its inhabitants and help ease souls into their transition to the afterlife. I love making new friends, learning new things and helping people find new hobbies!!

I may look young in comparison to Sera, but I am not a child, please do not treat me like one. I believe in a heaven that is proud of all it does and tries to right its wrongs, taking accountability and making amends where we can. Perfection isn't the goal, I believe we can always be better than we were yesterday!

If you have any questions or just want to talk, let me know and I'll do my best to get back to you quickly!

-Emily

((Edit: everything after this is Mun info))

Hello, this account is run by @canibalistic-brownie. You can call me CB.

Mun is 24 years old, uses he/him and is trans. Transphobes are free to hit the bricks. Also Biphobes, Aro/Acephobes and Proshippers, I'm not interested in interacting with any of that.

I will not respond to asks that include extreme violence, spam, explicit sexual content, or hate speech.

I have some NSFW content on here so if you are a minor do not interact with me. Any posts that go that route are tagged with #NSFW mention. If something slips through the filters let me know and I'll adjust how I'm tagging, I'm not new to tumblr but this is my first RP blog and I'm notoriously bad at tagging on my main.

I don't plan on doing anything with extremely graphic violence, although this is a Hazbin blog so there is some HH level violence to be expected.

I will RP with almost anyone but plot lines are happening (you can check #Plot Line to find the posts that are completed) and I won't switch back and forth, the plot line is the accurate E. I reserve the right to block people when necessary.

Muse is not open to shipping. Sorry, ship has already sailed. If you want to bark, prepare to be euthanized. /j

There's a few little ficlets in here that are tagged #Emily posting, but they are also included in #Plot line.

Some notable tags include: #Plot line, #The ass/emily saga, #emily posting

Thank you!

[crow-talks-hockey]

ok but fr SO many of you guys that hate the oilers need to fucking stop actually TAGGING THE EDMONTON OILERS OR OILERS LB TAG when you're hating. like you can say whatever you want about them but leave their fucking tags out of it please. adding tags here is in no way close on here to what it is across other social medias. tags here are for the fandom, not for general information or algorithm. not one single person who would kill for these boys wants to see you actively going against them. same goes with players. don't tag connor if all you're going to fucking do is call out how much you despise him. don't tag the oilers if all you want to yap about is how pLaInLy HoRrIbLe it would be for them to bring the cup back to canada because GUESS FUCKING WHAT? WE want that. leave us alone, we are literally begging you.

(i would also like to point out that i myself have made this mistake before. i literally tagged the bruins in a hate post all of once when i first joined this site before realizing "oh shit tumblr isn't like that i'm so sorry" and removing their tag from the post. i haven't don't that since. if you find my untagged hating drifting about, then it's whatever. but not tagging seriously helps people be able filter stuff out. fans of the team can't exactly block their own tag when they see people invading it with hate. so. yknow. please stop and let us live in peace lol)

[alwayslovingharry]

So Long, London

A/N: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, BUT!

HELLO, I'M BACK! I know it's been a long time since I've written (although I'm active on Tumblr from time to time), but I'm back. I've had a lot of ideas in my head for the last few months, fuelled by…well, ever since Taylor Swift's last album came out I've had a lot of Haylor theories and since then I've been a bit obsessed with the What If's and theories that some of Taylor's current songs are for Harry.

So out of all those What If's comes this Haylor One Shot which, from what I have in my head, could have more parts. I need your opinions on this and on the idea of publishing more of these two stories (I have several I've started to write).

PAIRING: Harry Styles x Taylor Swift

WORD COUNT: 2K

WARNING: Not an english native speaker.

SUMMARY: Two old lovers reunite during challenging time

——————————————————————————

End of August 2016

The summer sun shone brightly over the London park, casting dappled shadows through the lush green canopy. I adjusted my sunglasses as I strolled along the winding path, savoring the warmth and tranquility. This park had become my sanctuary, a peaceful retreat from the chaos that had enveloped my life in recent months.

The social media fallout of these last months had left me reeling. Once celebrated as America's sweetheart, I now found myself at the center of a relentless storm of criticism. My recent breakup with Calvin and the brief, highly-publicized affair with Tom after the Met Gala had only added fuel to the fire. But most of the media do not take into account the fact that my little whirlwind romance with Tom had ended almost as quickly as it had begun, leaving me feeling more alone than ever.

I took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill my lungs. The park was nearly empty, the serenity broken only by the occasional chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves underfoot. As I turned into another path, a familiar figure caught my eye in the distance. My heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be... could it?

I squinted against the sunlight, my mind racing as I tried to confirm what my eyes were seeing. Sure enough, it was him. His unmistakable silhouette, casual in a T-shirt and jeans, strolling towards me. But something clearly was different. The last time I saw him in person, he had a mane full of brunette curls. Now, from a distance I could see his hair was short, even shorter than when I met him years ago, framing his face in a way that was both new and strangely familiar. His presence here, in this park, seemed almost surreal, meeting your old flame in a London park.

“Taylor?” he called out, his voice tinged with disbelief as he recognized me.

“Harry!” I responded, my eyes lighting up.

We closed the distance between us, stopping a few feet apart. For a moment, we simply stood there, taking in the sight of each other. The years seemed to melt away, and I was transported back to simpler times.

“It’s been a while,” Harry said, his voice warm and friendly.

“Yeah, it has,” I replied, smiling. “What brings you here?”

“Just needed some peace and quiet,” he shrugged. “How about you?”

“Same,” I admitted. “It’s been a tough year.”

Harry nodded, his expression softening with understanding. “I heard. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thanks,” I said softly. “It’s getting better, though. Slowly.”

We began to walk together, falling into an easy rhythm. The conversation flowed naturally, our shared history creating a comfortable familiarity. The sun filtered through the trees, casting playful patterns on the ground as we walked. The scent of blooming flowers mixed with the earthy aroma of the park, creating a soothing atmosphere.

“Do you want to talk about all…that?” Harry asked gently after I explained that I was living in London indefinitely for the time being, in a kind of self-imposed exile forced by the drama of the last few months. "I don't want to force you to tell me anything, but if you need to... I'm here."

I hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “I suppose it might help. It's just... everything happened so fast. One minute, I was at the top of my career winning all these awards and accolades for my work and the next, it was over and all the snakes fell on me. And I was alone, I’ve never felt so lonely. The whole thing with Kanye destroyed everything I have worked for since I was a child and everyone supported him in my demonization, no one stood up for me.”

Harry's eyes widened slightly. “I saw that. It must have been awful.”

“It was,” I admitted. “It felt like the whole world turned against me overnight. My social media was flooded with snake emojis, people calling me a liar, and saying even worse things. It was like I was trapped in a storyline full of lies that I never asked to be part of, ever since 2009.”

Harry nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I can’t imagine how tough that must have been. I’ve had my share of public scrutiny, but it sounds like you’ve been through the wringer.”

“It’s been rough,” I admitted. “But I’m trying to focus on the positive, I have decided to put some distance from the eye of the hurricane to lick my wounds and try not to end up going crazy. My music has been a lifeline, as always. It’s the one thing that’s kept me grounded through all this. But now, I’m not even sure if I can release new music again without my reputation being ruined all over.”

Harry turned to me, his expression serious. “You’re stronger than you realize, Taylor. What you’ve been through... it’s not easy, but you’ve handled it with grace. Your music has always been your strength. People love your music.”

“Thanks, Harry. That means a lot coming from you,” I said, my eyes softening. “You’ve always been good at lifting people up. But it's hard to think about putting myself out there again. What if it just brings more negativity?”

Harry smiled, his eyes full of warmth. “I get that. But think about all the people your music has touched, all the lives you've changed with your songs. You've always been true to yourself, and that's what matters.”

We found a bench and sat down, the golden afternoon sun casting a gentle glow around us. We sat in companionable silence for a few moments, watching the leaves sway in the gentle breeze. I felt a warmth spread through my chest, a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time. The park seemed to cocoon us in its embrace, offering a momentary escape from the world outside.

“What about you?” I asked, breaking the silence. “How’s life been treating you?”

Harry shrugged. “It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. I just finished filming 'Dunkirk' with Christopher Nolan, which was incredible but intense.”

"That sounds amazing, I never imagined you as a Nolan guy."

"Yeah, it's amazing that the long-haired guy from One Direction ended up in a Nolan movie," he replied with a sad smile.

"Well, I think it suits you, whatever the public or the press thinks. You always had a lot of hidden sides in you... I just thought you'd be more of a Spielberg guy."

"You think you're so funny, Miss Swift," he replied mockingly. “I’m also starting to write songs for my first solo album.”

"Oh, that's great, that's what I know best. How was it?"

“It’s exciting, but sometimes I miss the old days with the band. Things were simpler then.”

"Sometimes change is difficult."

"I just… miss not having four other guys around to make decisions... everything I decide is going to be on me if something goes wrong and... I feel like I have a responsibility now to reach a standard, to reach expectations, if I go through with this."

“I can relate to that,” I said. “Sometimes I miss the early days of my career, before everything got so complicated.”

Harry nodded, his eyes distant for a moment. “Yeah, fame can be a double-edged sword. But I guess we just have to focus on the things that matter.”

“Exactly,” I agreed. “That’s why I’ve been pouring my heart into my music. It’s been therapeutic, in a way.”

“I’m glad you have that,” Harry said, his voice sincere. “It’s important to have something that keeps you grounded.”

We walked in comfortable silence for a while, the sounds of the park providing a soothing backdrop to our thoughts.

“Do you ever miss it?” Harry asked, his voice quiet as we continued our stroll.

“Miss what?” I replied, glancing over at him.

“Having someone to share all of this with,” he said, his gaze distant. “A partner you can tell all your uncertainties and fears to.”

I paused, considering his question. “Sometimes,” I admitted. “But it’s difficult to find someone who understands everything about my life – the fame, the reputation. It’s a lot for anyone to take on.”

Harry nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Our way of life is something that is hard to understand for anyone who has been away from this kind of life. You want to believe in that connection, but it’s scary to open yourself up to that vulnerability again.”

“Exactly,” I said, feeling a weight lift off my chest as he put my feelings into words.

We walked in silence for a few moments, lost in our own thoughts. The park was bathed in golden light, the air filled with the sounds of nature around us.

“But,” Harry said softly, breaking the silence, “I think love is always worth taking the risk. Maybe finding someone to share your love with is worth fighting for, despite the pain of them not understanding what this life is about.”

I looked at him, a glimmer of hope stirring in my chest. “Maybe you’re right.”

We walked in silence for a few moments, lost in our own thoughts. The park was bathed in golden light, the air filled with the sounds of nature around us.

“But, I don’t know if I can risk it again,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s so hard to find someone who understands this life, the constant scrutiny, the expectations. It’s exhausting. And when that person also lives under scrutiny and understands what it's like, it's even worse, because it's not only my reputation that's at stake, but also theirs.”

Harry nodded slowly. “As I see it, in a relationship where there are two previous big reputations, when you are together, it becomes one. You have to forget about the past and focus on a shared reputation, of course without forgetting that you both have separate projects, but keeping in mind that there is another person on whom, at least your public image depends. Then, maybe it’s not about finding someone who gets it all. Maybe it’s about finding someone who’s willing to try, who’s willing to be there for you despite not having all the answers.”

I considered his words, a thoughtful silence enveloping us. The park seemed to cocoon us

 in its embrace, offering a momentary escape from the world outside.

“But what if it just leads to more heartache?” I asked, my voice tinged with vulnerability.

Harry looked at me, his gaze steady. “Life is full of risks, Taylor. But sometimes, the greatest rewards come from the biggest risks. You deserve to find someone who makes you happy, who supports you through the highs and lows.”

I sighed, feeling the weight of his words. “I want to believe that. I really do.”

Harry gave me a small, encouraging smile. “You will. It just takes time.”

We continued our walk, the sun beginning its descent, casting a warm, golden glow over the park. As we walked, I felt a sense of peace settle over me, a sense of hope for the future.

“Thank you, Harry,” I said softly. “For being here, for listening. It means a lot.”

“Anytime,” he replied. “You’re not alone in this. Remember that. If you need to talk or anything else, I'm just a phone call away.”

As we walked, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of optimism for the future. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope waiting just around the corner.

——————————————————————————

Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it, please leave any comments or leave a like it if you enjoyed it.

See you soon :)

[miyrumiyru]

☼ Hello! I love ART and Nature so much!!! ❤️ (Miyru / them)

🌟 20s, Aquarius ♒ and Snake 🐍

#my photography - photographs taken by me (daily upload!)

#my artwork - artworks created by me

#butterfly - butterflies my beloved ❤️‍🔥

[ ʚїɞ I believe butterfly (나비) supremacy ʚїɞ ]

💡📒✏️🎶 Short animation series & Animated GIFs + Illustrations

📸🐛🦋🪲 Nature photography & Observation (South Korea)

⛓️Links (You could find me by searching @miyrumiyru) 📎GIPHY and Tenor (Animated GIFs!!!) 📎Bluesky (Their favicon is butterfly!!!) 📎iNaturalist (Check my iNat for entire observations!) ⚠️WARNING : DEAD & INJURED ANIMALS INCLUDED

© Miyrumiyru

☮ I support PEACE! There is no good war, ever!!! Stop the freaking war, stop the terrible genocide and ecocide!!! I hope all of war criminals WILL DIE IN A FIRE. #freepalestine #standwithukraine

🛇 I don't want and support generative AI. They are viruses that polluting the internet and world. If you use and support unethical generative ai junk, kindly get the fuck out of my blog.

I'm really sorry but I can't donate for someone for now because I'm really really broke!

Below is literally my thoughts and random blah blah things!

Read them if you have enough time & want to know about me :>

ʚїɞ He wants you to join the cult of the butterflies ʚїɞ (✿◕へ◕✿)

◓ I can't always able to back some likes, reblogs and follows but I definitely and absolutely appreciate to all who reblogged, liked and comments my posts. Thank you!

Drawing tablet : Wacom PTH-660 (7 years old)

DSLR camera : Canon EOS 800D (4 years old)

They're old but I love them so much... /_ \

+++ Taxon of my observations on tumblr could be corrected after published! (or just check my iNat would be more accurate :>)

I don't adjust photos that much, like color filter or low saturation or "aesthetic" adjustment… etc, because nature itself is already beautiful :)

*I research the internet to spend many time for provide the right IDs of precious insects, but It can be wrong when their families are so simillar! if you find that IDs are wrong, please let me know ^_____^

🚫SCAMS AND STEALING NOT ALLOWED!!!🚫

My favorite quote "Learn from the past, look to the future, but live in the present." - Petra Němcová "I take my time but I always win" - 🐢 Don't seek validation about anything from others when you make a decision and choices! because all of us are free（*＾-＾*） Never dwell on past. Learn from the mistakes and failure, so we can live our lives and reach the dream!

I hope my wildlife observation posts are reveal the true beauty of nature and its live (not just because they're "pretty"), so everyone can be able to preserve the precious nature 💚

(Taxon of my old posts could be inaccurate or outdated because lack of knowledge!Please visit my iNaturalist for accurate taxon)

Again! I don't want and support generative AI. It causing so many unethical problems (misuse, copyright infringement and huge energy waste… etc). They are viruses that polluting the internet and world.

And of course, generative AI is not an art at all.

Please don't ever support the selfishest "sport", golf, If you thinking about nature and future of all lives in this planet. It's enemy of the nature and lives including human (If you don't know that mass destruction golf is bring, you should search it right now. There is no environmental safety unless it's VR screen golf) because human couldn't live without nature. I say that it's one of most greediest and selfish things humans can commit.

If you play the golf or generate image, video and text with generative ai and don't feel any remorse, remember that your selfish actions are causing the endless surfer to other lives.

[leonscape]

sui my pookie and probably my soulmate, yes i knew that blog you vented earlier on...and btw, im not very good at comforting people but...

it made me sad if you're actually gonna leave and i want you to stay but...im not gonna force you to this since this is up to your decision, like if you actually want to leave then you can but if you don't actually want to but you feel like you have to...then don't.

idk about other people but this is based on my opinion of perspective: for me, you don't actually bring negativity here...you were mostly spreading positivity here, you made me happy and giggle with your silly leon thoughts, your personal thoughts too.

but if it's actually you think the opposite then...im sorry to hear that, saying this in advance in case ive made you feel that way...

in conclusion, no you didn't spread much negativity nor cause unhappiness towards us...instead...it's the other way around, we are here for you, you know that.

but i have to let you know, me and your friends here on tumblr are on your side, and if you're gonna leave now, let those memories here slowly go through your brain and how much you loved and missed us, and thank you for making us cheer up and be silly towards us.

yes you've been through irl, but please at least you have us here...through online...it's okay to feel that way and there's times we can feel insecure to ourselves...

and im always here gonna for you as your wingman or cupid to you and leon ;), not just that but also as your fellow anon friend hehe.

you're one of the best leon stans ive ever known along with romarin and others, so please remember dearly that we also care for you...and again we will love you and miss you just in case.

want a hug? oh nvm i forgot you don't like affection- (me either tho-)

- sincerely yours,

🐷 anon (a.k.a piggly)

hello 🐷 piggly anon.

i just feel like i cause problems everywhere i go because i don’t have a filter a lot of the time. i really need to watch what i say and not be… like that… i was being rude and i didn’t realize it.

i just like this space because i can talk about something i like (ikepri and stuff) or just something random. a lot of my posts are thoughts that come to my brain unfiltered. so i don’t really see what kind of impact i have.

thank you for your love and support. i just need to be mindful of the things i say. and that’s not a bad thing. there’s just a time and place for everything. i need to think about how what i say will affect the other person.

i think i should take a step back because school has started and im already overwhelmed just looking at the course schedules. but id like to contribute more than just the random thoughts that come to mind. i hope i can start creating again and do something great.

thank you 🦁❤️

[kmomof4]

A Mistress to No One Part 3 Ch8

We’re back!! And man, am I ready to share this chapter with y’all!!!! We have some significant relationship development in the form of smut, but if it’s not your thing, you can easily skip it. It is separated by a double scene change line, like this

~*~*~

~*~*~

at the beginning and end of the scene. Enjoy and I hope you let me know what you think!

All the love and thanks in the world to @hollyethecurious​ for her love and friendship and for whom this fic was written, @jrob64​ and @zaharadessert​ for their beta skills and their help in brainstorming and when I got stuck on something, and @motherkatereloyshipper​ for all her manips I used in the artwork! Love you all so much, ladies! Thank you!

Summary: Bastard Emma Swan enjoys one night of pure magic and romance in the midst of a life of drudgery and abuse- attending a masquerade ball and meeting aristocrat Killian Jones. Two years later, the same man she met on the best night of her life reappears, saving her from a dire fate in the process.

Now, she must keep herself from falling in love with a man she can never have. But when that proves impossible, is there any hope for a happy ending between two people from such vastly different worlds?

Rating: M (Smut in this chapter)

Words: Almost 6200 of 61,6K

Tags: Birthday Fic, Inspired by Benedict’s Story in Bridgerton, Smut

On ao3 From the beginning/ Current ch

On Tumblr Prologue Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7

New Tag List! Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

@jrob64​ @teamhook​ @winterbaby89​ @hollyethecurious​ @xarandomdreamx​ @undercaffinatednightmare​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @stahlop​ @superchocovian​ @pirateprincessofpizza​ @tiganasummertree​ @anmylica​ @cosette141​ @motherkatereloyshipper​ @zaharadessert​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @jennjenn615​ @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713​ @kymbersmith-90​ @booksteaandtoomuchtv​ @wistfulcynic​ @mie779​ @snowbellewells​ @lfh1226-linda​ @aprilqueen84​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @pirateherokillian​ @elfiola​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @justanother-unluckysoul​ @poptart-cat-78​ @myfearless-love​ @goforlaunchcee​ @searchingwardrobes​ @gingerpolyglot​ @gingerchangeling​ @djlbg​ @cocohook38​ @cs-rylie​ @thisonesatellite​ @donteattheappleshook​ @deckerstarblanche​ @veryverynotgoodwrites​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @fleurdepetite​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

The days melted into weeks and Emma quickly discovered that being lady’s maid to the three unmarried Jones daughters kept her quite busy indeed. But where having no personal time and working her fingers to the bone under Cora was a completely thankless and miserable job, the Jones house was filled with laughter and joy, which filtered down to the servants as well.

Never had Emma personally been treated so well as a servant of the house. Yes, she was expected to keep the girls suitably attired and presentable, but as the days went on and she got to know them better, she was often finding herself participating in the conversations and laughing right along with them. It was such a refreshing change from Cora’s household where the interactions between Zelena and Regina were filled with malice, jealousy, and contempt for one another… well, truthfully more from Zelena than Regina. And where Emma had always remembered Cora’s hate-filled words to her the day after she’d arrived at Spencer Hall all those years ago and had never once been a part of afternoon tea or meals after the earl passed, in Lady Jones’ household, she was asked regularly, expected even, to join the family for tea when it was taken informally upstairs. She would usually bring her mending along with her when she did, but it was so lovely to enjoy the tea and the company. It had become Emma’s favorite time of day.

“Where do you suppose,” Ruby asked the room at large almost two weeks after what Emma was now referring to in her mind as THE KISS, “Killian has been?”

“Ow!”

Four heads swiftly turned to Emma. “Are you alright, my dear?” Lady Jones asked.

Emma grimaced. “I pricked my finger.”

Lady Jones’ lips lifted in a small, secret smile.

“Mother has told you,” fourteen-year-old Tilly said, “at least a thousand times…”

“A thousand times?” Tink asked drily.

“Alright then, a hundred times,” Tilly amended, “that you do not have to bring your mending to tea.”

Emma tried to suppress her smile, but couldn’t keep her lips from curving up at the interactions between the two girls. “I would feel very lazy if I did not.”

There was a moment’s pause when Tilly suddenly announced, “Well, I’m not going to bring my embroidery to tea.”

“Feeling lazy?” Tink asked, an innocent smile on her face.

“Absolutely not,” Tilly replied.

Tink turned to Emma and whispered conspiratorially, “Put down your mending, you’re making Tilly feel lazy.”

Tilly huffed.

Lady Jones sipped her tea. “You have been working on the same piece of embroidery for quite some time, Tilly,” she observed. “Since February, if I’m not mistaken.”

Tink leaned toward Emma again. “She’s never mistaken.” Emma coughed to hide her laugh and Tilly glared at Tink. Tink was a few years younger than Ruby, but she had a sly sense of humor. She could definitely see why Ruby’s moniker for her had caught on within the family so.

“Nobody answered my question,” Ruby announced. “Where is Killian? I haven’t seen him in an age.”

“It hasn’t been two weeks,” Lady Jones offered.

“Ow!”

“Do you need a thimble?” Tilly asked.

“I’m not usually this clumsy,” Emma muttered.

Lady Jones lifted her cup to her lips and held it there for a rather long time before taking a sip, a knowing gleam in her eye.

Emma grit her teeth and resumed her mending with a vengeance. She’d seen neither hide nor hair of Killian since THE KISS, and Emma couldn’t decide whether she was relieved or disappointed. Probably both. She sighed. Definitely both.

“Did you say something, Emma?” Ruby asked.

Emma shook her head. “No,” she murmured, refusing to look up from her poor abused index finger.

“Where is he?” Ruby asked again.

“Killian is twenty-eight years of age,” Lady Jones said mildly. “He has no need to inform us of his every activity.”

Ruby raised her eyebrows at her mother. “That’s a fine turnaround from the last time he disappeared, Mother.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“‘Where is Killian?’” Ruby mocked, doing quite a good impression of her mother. “‘How dare he go off without a word? It’s as if he’s dropped off the face of the earth.’”

“That was different,” Lady Jones said.

“How so?” Tink asked, sly smile firmly in place.

“He’d said he was going to that awful Gold boy’s party, and then never returned, whereas this time…” Lady Jones stopped then and pursed her lips. “Why am I explaining myself to you?”

“I can’t imagine,” Emma murmured. Ruby choked on her tea. Tink whacked Ruby on the back and then turned her attention to Emma.

“Did you say something, Emma?”

Emma shook her head again and jabbed her needle into the dress she was mending, completely missing the hem. Ruby’s eyebrows raised in question as she cut her eyes toward her.

Lady Jones’ head cocked toward the door. “I say, is that someone in the hall?” she asked. Emma looked up and caught her breath when Killian strode in the room.

“Killian,” Ruby cried, rising to her feet. “We were just talking about you!”

Killian smiled widely at Emma. “Were you?”

“I wasn’t,” Emma muttered.

“Did you say something, Emma?” Tilly asked.

“Ow!”

“I’m going to have to take that mending away from you,” Lady Jones said with an amused smile.

Emma rose quickly to her feet. “I’ll get a thimble.”

“You didn’t have a thimble?” Tilly asked, appalled. “I’d never dream of doing mending without one!”

“Have you ever dreamed of mending?” Tink smirked.

Tilly kicked at Tink, nearly upending the tea service in the process.

“Tilly!” Lady Jones scolded.

Emma stared at the door, trying desperately to keep her eyes away from Killian. For almost two weeks she had longed for a glimpse of him, and now that he was here, all she wanted was to escape. If she looked at his face, then she’d look at his lips, and if she looked at his lips, she’d think about THE KISS, and there were certain things one shouldn’t think about in polite company.

“I need that thimble,” Emma mumbled, moving toward the door.

“So you said.” She could hear the smirk in his voice as she moved toward him and the door.

“It’s downstairs,” she said, “in my room.”

“But your room is upstairs,” Tilly said.

Emma could have killed her. “That’s what I said,” she ground out.

“No, you didn’t,” Tilly insisted.

“Yes, she did,” Lady Jones interjected. “I heard her.”

Emma snapped her head toward her and instantly knew Lady Jones had lied. But why? “I need to go get that thimble.” She hurried toward the door and held her breath as she drew ever closer to Killian.

He stepped aside to let her through, but leaned forward just enough so she could hear him whisper coward as she passed. Emma’s cheeks burned and she was halfway down the stairs before she realized that she had meant to go up to her room. Dash it all, she did not want to march back up the stairs and have to walk past Killian again. He was probably still standing in the doorway, and his lips would tilt upward as she passed in one of those utterly charming and seductive smiles that never failed to leave her weak in the knees.

This was a complete disaster. There was no way she could continue living here, with Killian so close and yet so far. She may have been able to refuse his request to be his mistress, but she hadn’t been able to refuse him when he’d asked her to come to London. And now she didn’t think she was strong enough to live with the consequences of that decision. She was going to have to leave. She had no other choice.

And that almost made her fall to her knees in despair. Because not only was she desperately in love with Killian, but she was also coming to love the Jones family. They’d treated her differently from how she’d ever been treated by anyone, and she was loath to leave it. All she’d ever wanted was to be a part of a family, and with the Joneses, she was starting to feel like she’d found one.

“Lost your way?”

Emma glanced up to see Killian at the top of the stairs, leaning lazily against the wall, then she looked around herself, realizing she hadn’t moved from her place descending the stairs.

“I’m going out,” she informed him.

“To buy a thimble?”

“Yes, to buy a thimble,” she said with as much dignity as she could muster.

He tilted his head a little more, blatantly looking her over, before speaking. “You don’t appear to be carrying anything that would contain any money,” he observed.

Emma swallowed hard. She could tell him the truth and expose herself for the pathetic fool she was, or she could simply run from the house and avoid this- him- altogether. The cowards way out, she knew, but…

“I have to go,” she muttered and dashed down the stairs so quickly that she forgot she should be using the side entrance. She opened the front door and flew down the front steps, before a voice brought her to a screeching halt.

Dear God, it was Cora.

Her back was to Emma, so she quickly hid herself around the corner of the house. What was Cora doing here? Spencer House was at least eight blocks away… but then she remembered, she’d read in Lady Whistledown last year that the new Earl of Glowerhaven had finally taken up residence in London, forcing Cora, Zelena and Regina to find other lodgings. Right across from the Joneses apparently. A worse nightmare, Emma couldn’t imagine.

“Where is that insufferable girl?” Emma heard Cora say. She immediately felt sorry for whoever the ‘insufferable girl’ was, since that had been her own designation when she’d lived under Cora’s roof.

“Regina!” Cora yelled before entering a waiting carriage.

At that moment, Emma realized what must have happened. When Emma left, Cora would have been forced to hire a new lady’s maid. And while Emma was sure Cora was beastly to the poor girl, she wouldn’t have been able to degrade and demean her in the same way she’d done with Emma. Only a certain level of familiarity would have allowed for that.

And since Cora couldn’t live without flaunting her superiority over someone and horribly mistreating them, Regina had apparently become her next target.

Regina suddenly came through the front door, looking quite unhappy. She stopped to fiddle with the strings on her short boots, but looked up when Zelena shouted at her.

“Regina, hurry up!”

“I’m coming,” Regina called, straightening up. She took one wrong step and fell to the pavement. Emma’s response was automatic, but she caught herself in time and remained hidden instead of running to Regina’s aid, who was unhurt. There was absolutely nothing worse than Cora finding out that Emma was in London. Regina stood and brushed herself off before looking up again, and then…

Regina saw her. There was no doubt. Her jaw dropped slightly, her eyes widening. Emma shook her head desperately.

“Regina!” Cora shouted again.

Emma shook her head again, her eyes begging Regina not to reveal her to Cora. Regina’s face softened and she gave Emma a single sharp nod before she climbed into the carriage with her mother and sister.

Emma blew out a relieved breath and collapsed back against the wall. She didn’t move for a full minute.

And then didn’t move for several more.

~*~*~

As soon as Emma left the house, Killian quite lost interest in tea and scones. He turned his head toward the window to see if he could catch a glimpse of her on the street from where he stood.

“I was just wondering where’d you been,” Ruby said.

“Hmmm?”

“I said,” Ruby said, raising her voice significantly, “I was just…”

“Ruby, lower your voice, please,” Lady Jones chided her, mildly.

“But he’s not listening to me.”

“Raising your voice isn’t going to make a difference in that regard,” she informed her daughter.

“Throwing a scone might,” Tilly suggested, just as she lobbed one toward Killian. He ducked out the way just in time.

“I believe that is my cue to leave,” he said smoothly, shooting a cheeky grin at his youngest sister. That scone gave him the perfect excuse to follow Emma wherever she thought she was going.

“But you just got here,” his mother pointed out.

Killian narrowed his eyes at her, immediately suspicious. Usually her objections to him leaving had a moaning, forlorn quality to them, but this time she didn’t sound the least bit upset. Which meant she was up to something.

“I could stay,” he said, testing her.

“Oh, no,” she said, raising what he was quite sure was an empty cup to her lips, “Don’t let us keep you if you’re busy.”

Killian tried to school his features to conceal his now deep suspicion and shock. The last time he’d told her he was too busy for a visit, she’d replied with ‘too busy for your mother?’

His first impulse was to declare ‘I’ll stay,’ but then he realized it was quite ridiculous to stay when all he really wanted to do was leave, all to confound his mother and her machinations.

“I’ll go then.”

“Go,” she urged him, “enjoy yourself.”

He nodded to the ladies in the room and turned around into the hallway. He could just hear his mother as he reached the stairs say, “I thought he’d never leave.”

Very odd indeed.

He left the house and started in the direction of the shopping district when he spied Emma pressed against the bricks of the house, looking white as a sheet.

“What happened?” he asked, rushing toward her, “Emma?” He bent down slightly into her line of sight, finally getting her to focus on him. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, but her gaze was still frightened and Killian didn’t believe her for a moment. “You’re shaking,” he said, taking her hands in his. “Tell me what happened. Did someone bother you?”

“No,” she finally found her voice, though it did quaver a bit. “I just… I tripped down the stairs and it scared me.” She smiled weakly. “I’m sure you know what I mean. When you feel like your insides are upside down.”

Killian nodded. He knew exactly what she meant. But that didn’t mean he believed her. “Come with me.”

She looked up and something deep in her green eyes broke his heart. “Where?” she whispered.

“Anywhere but here. I live just five doors down.”

“You do?” Her eyes widened in surprise. “No one told me,” she murmured.

He had a feeling she would have protested if she wasn’t so dazed, but she allowed him to lead her down the street.

“Your virtue will be quite safe,” he promised her, “unless you wish it otherwise,” he continued with a waggle of his brows. He was gratified when a small smile graced her lips at his flirtation. “We’ll just sit here in my front room until you feel better.”

She nodded and he led her up the steps to his front door. He shut the door to the parlor behind them, not wanting to be disturbed by his servants, and turned to where she was sitting on the sofa. She still looked rather pale, but the dazed look was out of her eyes. He could ask her what had really happened, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him and it would only put her on the defensive.

He sat next to her on the sofa, but still a respectable distance away, and decided to broach a non-threatening topic.

“How have you enjoyed working for my family?”

Emma smiled, and Killian caught his breath at her beauty. “They are very nice.”

Killian scoffed. “Nice? Maddening, maybe. But, nice?”

Emma looked affronted. “I think they are very nice,” she insisted with a little nod of her head. Killian smiled softly as he thought about his family. He loved them all dearly, but if Emma was coming to love them too, then his chances of persuading her to become his mistress grew smaller by the day. Damn.

“You should thank God for them every day,” she continued. “I’d give anything…” She trailed away, not finishing her sentence.

“You’d give anything for what?” he asked softly, desperately wanting to hear her answer.

She gazed out the window before answering, but from his angle, he could see the glistening of tears in her eyes.

“I’d give anything to have a family like yours.” Her voice was no more than a whisper and Killian desperately wanted to take her in his arms and make promises that he knew he couldn’t keep.

“You have no one.” It was a statement, not a question and Emma nodded.

“I’ve never had anyone.”

He remembered the row they had at the pond at My Cottage when she confessed that her mother had died at her birth and he surmised her aristocratic parentage. His heart had broken for her.

“You know,” he began, purposefully keeping his voice light and gentle, “sometimes it’s not easy being a Jones.”

Her head slowly turned toward him. “I can’t imagine anything nicer.”

“Oh, it’s very nice,” he agreed, “I can’t imagine anything nicer, either. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.”

“What do you mean?”

Killian sighed and looked down at his hands. “To most of the world, I’m just a Jones. Not Killian, not a gentleman of means and hopefully a bit of intelligence. Just a Jones. Or, more specifically, Number 2.” He pressed his lips into a thin line and watched her face carefully after his revelation. He’d never shared these thoughts with another living soul.

Her lips trembled slightly before widening into a smile, impossibly soft.

“You are so much more than that.”

Killian looked down again. “I’d like to believe that, but most of the world doesn’t see it that way.”

“Well, most of the world are fools.”

He chuckled at that. There wasn’t much in this world that was more adorable than Emma Swan with a scowl on her face. “I don’t disagree with you.”

They were quiet for a moment and Killian thought the conversation was over and that he’d soon have to escort her back to his mother’s. But she wasn’t finished.

“You are very different from your family.”

“Really? How so?” He couldn’t quite meet her eyes. He didn’t want her to know exactly how important her answer was to him.

“Well, your brother, Liam,” she began, tapping on her chin as she thought. “His whole life has been altered by the fact that the title came to him much too soon. He feels a responsibility to your family that you don’t.”

“Now, wait just a min…” Killian said indignantly.

“Don’t interrupt,” she interjected gently, placing her hand on his where it rested on the sofa. “I’m not saying you don’t love your family very much and wouldn’t lay down your life for any one of them, if it came to it, but it’s different for Liam. I truly believe he would consider himself a failure if any one of his siblings, children, nieces or nephews was unhappy.”

“How many times have you met Liam?” he muttered, rather stunned at her insight.

“Just once,” she said, the corner of her lips lifting in a small smile. “But that was all I needed.” She smiled a little bigger at him before continuing. “Now your brother David, I’ve never met, but I’ve heard plenty.”

“From whom?”

“Everyone,” she laughed. “But I’ve also read about him in Lady Whistledown, which I’ve read for years.”

“So you knew about me, too, before you met me?”

Emma nodded. “But I didn’t know you. You are so much more than what she writes in her paper.”

“Tell me,” he said, laying his hand on top of hers now. “Tell me, what do you see?”

Emma looked into his eyes and was surprised to find vulnerability and need. She never imagined she’d see that in the heart of Killian Jones. This handsome, suave, debonair man wanted, no needed, her approval. He wanted to know he was important to her.

She turned her hand over under his until they were palm to palm and then traced the top of his hand with hers. She thought carefully about her words, knowing how much they meant to him.

“You are honorable. You are kind. You care. For your family, for me, though Lord knows, I don’t deserve it.”

“Always,” he whispered, touching her cheek gently. Emma smiled, then continued.

“You love. Fiercely. And devotedly. You are not quite the man you present to most of the world. You’d like to be thought of as a dashing rapscallion,” she said, shooting him a sideways smirk, “or scoundrel, but inside, deep down, is the man you were born to be. Just you. Not someone’s son. Not someone’s brother. Just you.”

Killian couldn’t speak. No one had ever touched him like this. No one had ever looked into his soul before, and he thanked God it was her.

“You have the soul of an artist,” she murmured.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Yes,” she insisted. “I’ve seen your sketches. You’re brilliant. I don’t think I realized how much until I met your family. You captured them all perfectly. From the inquisitiveness in Ruby’s eyes, to Tink’s sly smile, to the mischief in the way Tilly holds herself.”

Killian shrugged. “I’ve never shown anyone my sketches.”

“You’re kidding!” she exclaimed. “Why? They’re brilliant. You’re brilliant. I’m sure your mother would love to see them.”

Killian’s cheeks flamed under her praise. “I don’t know why, but I’ve never wanted to show anyone else.”

“You shared them with me,” she said softly.

“That was different,” he insisted before looking into her eyes. “That felt right.” His heart skipped a beat at his words. Because suddenly, everything felt right.

He loved her.

He didn’t know how it happened, only that it had. And it was right.

It was strange to find a woman who could make him happy simply by existing. He didn’t need to see her, didn’t need to be in the same room with her, didn’t need to hear her, or catch a whiff of her scent. He just had to know she was there.

When he was with her, he wanted her like nothing he’d ever wanted in his entire life. But when he was able to keep himself under control, he was content.

And if that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was.

He tried to hold onto the moment. Let it stretch out forever. Because this was perfection. This was heaven.

He watched as her eyes searched his, looking for something, he knew not what. Then they widened ever so slightly, and her lips softened. In that moment, he had to kiss her. He didn’t want to kiss her. He had to kiss her.

He needed her.

In every way.

He needed her like he needed air.

Like a man dying of thirst needed water.

He needed her to be a part of him.

And he needed her right now.

~*~*~

~*~*~

Emma had been kissed before. She’d been kissed by Killian before. But this was so much more than anything that had ever come before.

This was passion. Passion like she’d never known. This was desire. Desire that threatened to burn her up from the inside. He kissed her with an intensity she could barely comprehend, his lips taking full possession of hers, nibbling, teasing, stroking. He stoked a fire within her. A desire to be loved. A desire to love in return.

He murmured her name into the skin of her neck where he left a trail of fire with his lips. Over and over and over again, like a mantra.

“Emma, Emma, Emma.” His lips were everywhere. Her lips, her neck, her ear, her chest. How foolish she’d been to think she could resist this. It was positively delusional to think she was stronger than this pull between them. Her love for him ran too deep.

She felt him work his way down her back, opening each button on her dress until the bodice completely fell away. This was everything she’d swore she’d never do, but instead of covering herself and pushing him away, she arched underneath him, offering herself up like a banquet.

Killian stopped breathing when he saw her. In all his dreams, all his fantasies, he never came close to the perfection that was laid out before him. He didn’t know how this woman had come to mean so much to him in such a short amount of time. It hadn’t happened like a flash of lightning, but more like a lazy river meandering along, yet seeping into every corner, every crevice of his heart and mind until it colored everything around him and he realized that without her, his life held no meaning.

He lifted her chin toward him and looked into her eyes. They glistened like emeralds, with tears in the corners and he knew she was right there with him in this moment. That it meant as much to her as it did to him.

He moved toward her slowly, oh, so slowly. He wanted to give her every chance to pull back from him. It would kill him if she did, but he didn’t think he could bear it if she regretted what was about to happen. She didn’t pull away, however, tilting her head and shutting her eyes in invitation.

Killian claimed her lips again and was surprised that she tasted even sweeter than before. His blood sang his desire and it was all he could do not to rip the rest of her dress from her body. That would come later, he told himself. For this, her first time, it would be slow, and tender, and full of all the love he had for her. Everything a young woman dreamed of.

Well, maybe not. His smile turned into a full grin. Half the things he was going to do to her, she wouldn’t have even thought about.

“What are you smiling about?”

He drew back a few inches, his smile widening further. “How did you know I was smiling?”

She smiled back at him, her eyes still closed in bliss. “I could feel it on my lips.”

He traced her lips with his finger. “You make me smile,” he whispered. “When you don’t make me want to scream, you make me smile.”

He kissed her again, gently this time, his tongue gently touching the seam of her lips, requesting entrance. She opened to him with a moan of passion and he pulled her closer into his arms, vowing never to let her go.

Emma was dizzy with the exquisite pleasure coursing through her as Killian slowly continued to undress her. When she was fully bare to him, she couldn’t bring herself to cover any part of her body, as his gaze burned her from head to toe.

He stood over her on the sofa and slowly removed his own clothing, never taking his eyes off hers. “You are so beautiful, Emma. I wish I was a poet instead of an artist, then maybe I could find the words to describe you.”

Her eyes widened when he removed his breeches and he stood before her completely naked. He felt no need to cover himself, because just as he wanted to see her, he wanted her to see him.

He thought he’d wanted a woman before. He thought he’d needed a woman before. But this was so much more than anything he’d ever felt. This was in his soul.

He lay back on top of her and just savored the moment of being skin to skin with the woman he loved. Her hands were tentative as she began her own explorations.

“Yes, Emma,” he murmured, rising up a bit as her fingers ran along his sides and then buried themselves in the hair on his chest. “Touch me, darling. Make me yours, as I make you mine.” He was as hard as he’d ever been in his life and he was desperate to feel her. He bent down and circled her nipple with his tongue, causing her to arch beneath him, her hands grabbing his hair and holding him to her. He chuckled before he sucked it into the warm cavern of his mouth. She moaned and writhed beneath him, crying out as he flicked the bud with his tongue.

As he turned his attention to the other, she felt his hand move steadily toward where the fire he’d kindled in her blazed the hottest. She ached for him and she didn’t think she could wait another minute.

“Oh, Killian,” she sighed as he sank a finger into her center. “My love.” He stilled for a moment, not ceasing his attentions, but just long enough for her to know he heard her. He kissed her neck and resumed probing her depths. A gasp broke from her lips as something tightened within her. Pure pleasure pushed her higher and higher until he claimed her lips with his own and a cascade of absolute ecstasy broke over her, leaving her a shuddering, melting mess in his arms. He positioned himself over her and she could feel him nudge where his finger had just been. Her eyes flew open and met his.

“This will hurt,” he told her, “but the pain will be over quickly.” He was so desperate for her, but he wanted to try and prepare her just this little bit for him. He was a long way from his first time, when he was more concerned with his own pleasure than that of his partner, who was just as inexperienced as he, so this had to be perfect.

“I don’t care, Killian,” she breathed. “Please, I need you!”

He slowly rocked into her until he felt the barrier of her innocence. He claimed her lips with his and surged forward, swallowing her gasp with his mouth. A moment later, she relaxed around him and he began to move.

“Emma, Emma, Emma,” he chanted her name into the skin of her neck as he struggled to hold himself back. Her hands were all over him, her moans and gasps of pleasure in his ears. He reached down and touched where they were joined, her cry of pleasure music to his ears as he felt her throb around his length. Unable to deny himself any longer, he let go and emptied himself in her depths. They drifted on the cloud of euphoria, joined in body and heart and soul.

Killian couldn’t move. And apparently, neither could she. Her arms still held him tightly, and he was too spent to even roll off of her, though his weight had to be crushing her by now.

Her arms finally fell to her side and Killian reached up and pulled a hand knitted blanket from the top of the sofa over them, slipping out of her in the process. He pulled her close and kissed her temple.

“Sleep, my love,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

~*~*~

~*~*~

Emma didn’t know how it happened, but she must have fallen asleep. And Killian apparently had, too, as he was still a very pleasant weight partially on top of her, their legs still entwined.

She reached up and started lightly running her fingers up and down his back. She couldn’t hold back her grin when he stretched much like a cat and opened his eyes. They were still glazed with sleep but there was something else there too. Something like contentment.

“Hi,” he murmured, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi,” she whispered back. He sat up, and Emma couldn’t keep her eyes from running down his naked chest and smirking her appreciation.

“Don’t look at me like that, or I won’t be able to wait until we’re in my bedchamber.”

Emma’s face fell as his words sank in, and she wiggled her way to sitting, grabbing the blanket he’d covered them with to now cover herself, moving as far from him as the sofa would allow. She cut her eyes to him and saw pleased satisfaction morph into confusion and then stoic anger as he rose and began dressing. She was sure he assumed, after what they did, she would become his mistress. And she couldn’t really blame him. It was a fairly natural assumption to make.

“Even after all of that…” His teeth were clenched, his tone biting, and Emma felt the sting of tears in the back of her throat. “Even after giving you my heart, my body, and you giving me yours in return, you still won’t be mine.”

“Be your mistress, you mean,” she said quietly. He looked sharply at her. But she refused to let him get away with using pretty words to avoid saying what they both knew to be true.

“Be. With. Me,” he bit out. “I want you to be with me. Don’t you understand that?” The pleading in his voice threatened the wall she was desperately trying to build around her heart. The one that would keep her safe. The one that would allow her to stay with the Jones family without succumbing again to temptation.

“You said you loved me,” he said quietly. Resignedly. The pain in his blue eyes was too much and she turned her face away from him.

“And I do,” she whispered. She paused for a moment, swallowing back her tears and taking a deep breath. “But, I will be a mistress to no one, Killian. Not even you.”

“Emma,” he said, the pleading back in his voice. “You know that I cannot marry you.”

“I know that,” she snapped. “I’m a maid, not an idiot.”

“It would be impossible for you too, you know,” he said, quietly. “You wouldn’t be accepted. No matter how much we loved each other, or how happy we were. The ton can be cruel.”

Emma barked out a bitter laugh. “I know. Believe me, I know.”

“Why then? I love you. I can make you happy. We can…”

“Grant me this,” she interrupted, looking him fully in the face, her eyes filled with tears. “Find someone to marry. Find someone acceptable, someone who will make you happy. And then leave me alone.”

Her words struck him, telling him she was under no illusions as to the impossible situation they were in. He was asking her to give up everything she knew, everything she was, to be with him for a time in a world that would never accept her, that would never allow her to be truly happy. She would eventually be right back where she was now, with only her memories of him and perhaps a child or two. While for him, at this point, it was no true hardship, not until the time came that he’d have to marry. Because once that happened, his honor and his marriage vows wouldn’t allow him to keep a mistress. Even if putting Emma aside shattered his heart beyond repair.

He was grasping at straws, he knew that, but he plowed ahead anyway.

“And what if…” he trailed away, motioning to her midsection.

She inhaled sharply and pulled her arms out from under the blanket that covered her and laid her hands over where their child may already lay.

“Then I would love them with everything that was in me,” she whispered. “But if I am not,” she continued, her voice now full of conviction, “then I will consider myself very lucky and I will not tempt fate again.” She tightened the blanket around herself. “I will have a precious and beautiful memory that I will forever cherish. And that, I suppose, is why I can’t regret what we did. Although, I know I should.”

“I would also love and provide for any child created between us,” he said softly. “Am I correct in believing that you were rejected by your father?”

Emma huffed out a bitter chuckle. “Ignored would be more accurate.”

He sat back down on the sofa next to her and gathered her in his arms. This was no attempt at seduction, but simply a desire to comfort. She seemed to know that and didn’t struggle, all but melting into his embrace. “Emma, we wouldn’t make the same mistakes as your parents.”

“I know,” she said sadly. “But that is why I cannot be your mistress. I won’t relive my mother’s life.” He was silent as he looked down at her head, resting against his chest, against his heart. The heart that beat only for her. “They say a truly smart person learns from other people’s mistakes.” She sat up and looked into his eyes. “I’d like to think I’m a truly smart person. Please don’t take that away from me.”

The pain in her eyes nearly took his breath away. He released her and stood.

“I could make you change your mind, you know. I could kiss you, and you would…”

“You wouldn’t,” she interrupted with a little shake of her head. “It isn’t in you.”

“It is.”

“You could kiss me,” she agreed. “But you would hate yourself for it, if you did.”

He stood there for another moment before leaving the room, the click of the doors the only sound signaling his departure.

Emma collapsed against the sofa and sobbed out her heartbreak until there was nothing left in her.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing! Don’t yell at me too hard, please! It really was necessary! There is a VERY GOOD chance that I’ll be adjusting the posting schedule for these last two chapters coming up. I’ll be making a decision on that either today or tomorrow, so stay tuned!