#these are pretty silly and funny to make!

[quarterlifekitty]

Read buttermilk today and now @ceilidho got me on that babysitter grindset… but what if I freaked it up a little.

cw: age gap (reader is around 21 and Soap is like 29ish), something sorta flirting with/on the edge of fauxcest due to a sibling-like bond, so I’m gonna tag it as such just in case.

Before Johnny enlisted, he’d only ever had one paying job.

Taking care of you.

About eight years your senior, your mom decided to go back to working when you were around 4 and he was on the cusp of 13. And for 5 years (an eternity to a kid like you) he was your best friend in the world. Would get out of school, walk to the elementary school to get you, bring you home, and hang out until whenever your parents got off of work.

And the boy was devoted. Didn’t mind that he had to put off hanging with his friends till the weekend. Didn’t mind making your snacks or watching silly kids movies. Didn’t mind when you asked him to play pretend veterinarian with you, and he had to lay down and act like a really sick horse. And you loved him.

The first time your parents took you on a vacation and you realized he wouldn’t be there? You were so mad. As mad as a 4 year old can be.

You’re embarrassed when you cry at the news that he’s enlisting— at age 10 you’re not supposed to cry anymore, you’re a big girl. He hugs you so tight, early in the morning before he has to go.

His folks move during his first tour. There isn’t an anchor to bring him back to you for a very long time. Over a decade, as it turns out.

He’s getting ready to go on leave when he gets a call— his mum buzzing with some kind of gossip as usual.

“You’ll never guess who I saw down at Sainsbury’s—“

Your university happens to be in the town his family moved to. He has his own place now of course, but he likes to keep close to them.

His first night back and his mum is beside herself— trying to get the place nice, because you’re joining them for dinner. Johnny never even considers that when you come to the door, you’re not the little girl he left tearing up on her parents porch.

He has to remember to close his mouth at the sight of you. His dad offers you a beer for fuck’s sake. He’s amazed at how much has changed— but also, how much is the same. The curve of your nose, and bubble of your laughter, the way your eyes widen with interest.

You happen to be on break right now. So of course, he ends up unwittingly spending all of his leave with you. You were always a funny kid— you’re a lot funnier now that you can swear. And you were always cute but now you’re so… pretty.

And he is not a fucking fan of the kind of attention it gets you. The way guys look at you when you’re sitting alone, waiting for him at a coffee shop. How your phone goes off at least once every 20 minutes, and it’s almost always ‘this guy from your class’. He tells himself that it’s just because he was responsible for you for so long— that he’s just having trouble shaking that off. He just remembers when you were so innocent— he doesn’t wanna see you get chewed up and spit out by college boys.

And he keeps finding himself falling into old patterns. Making you stay still so he can wipe your mouth after having a bit of a messy danish. Holding your hand tight when you’re in a busy place, crossing any streets. Having you tell him what you want so he can order things for you. Picking you up so he can hear you giggle and tell him to put you down.

He tells himself that when he touches himself later that it’s just because being away for work has left him touch starved and sensitive. It’s only natural to get turned on by a pretty girl who leans into him… especially when you get along so famously.

(Even though he remembers playing I spy while he held your hand and walked you home from school, your little backpack slung over his shoulder, even though he had his own to carry. )

Before he knows it, it’s his last night at home, ending it off with another of his mum’s dinners. At the table you casually mention the graduate schools you’re thinking of going to— some close by, some not. He almost chokes when you mention that there’s a really nice school in Canada you were considering.

That’s when he knows he’s fucked. Because he doesn’t think of that as you getting on with your life. Of a girl getting her education. He thinks of that as losing you, and after the bliss of the past couple of weeks he’s had with you, he’s not sure he’ll take being separated from you nearly as long as he did the last time. Not to mention all of the guys at your school trying to get their hands on you.

So he’s gonna have to find a way to get you too invested to travel far. And figure out how to protect you from those assholes when he’s not around.

Making you a part of his family and putting his ring on your finger should be enough, right?

[f1shart]

thoughts on johncutio (johnny/mercutio)? I think its be funny

i havent thought nearly as hard about them as i have tankbalt but hey

THE JOHNNYCUTIO CASE

i say johnnycutio instead of johncutio cuz im a hater and john makes me think of that burb LOSER....

sorry this list isn't as detailed as tankbalt but ... c'mon it's tankbalt

just some silly little guys that get attacked on a daily basis by a young man of their rival family

speaking of rival family: FAMILY FEUDS. don't bother with those montys, they're a gang of backstabbers. don't engage with those smiths, they'll zibble zorp your ass. their lawn isn't even that pretty anyway.

they dont necessarily have signature colors like tankbalt but johnny wears a lot of red/orange and mercutio is associated with green/blue because of his childhood outfit/family color (complementary again 😇)

soooo muuuch 🫧🫧🫧🫧🍃🍃🍃

both their paternal figures were involved in some shady ass shit (pt9 - pollination heh, and abandoning his past family question mark? pat - not beating the mafia allegations you can't tell me he's NOT modeled after the godfather look at those brows)

their families make actually good food compared to their rival families (military rations and...... british food 😨)

canonically/fanonically attractive. mercutio has two people crushing on him + maybe tybalt in fanon, johnny has one but is often the target of the affections of ripp and/or tank in fanon

canonically doomed. johnny ends up working retail in his 30s (ts2ds/gba), loses his pupils and ears; mercutio fucking dies (romeo and juliet)

cool noses i guess. beautiful hooked nose on mercutie pie and that straight ass nose johnny got from Literally No One. he does share it with vidcund, however... giggles. How Curious.

piercings and black nail polish coded. Final verdict: Bisexual.

been in the drafts for 4 months sorry anon

[criminal-sen]

Warning: I've already made a post about this, I only know this bc I got INTENSE deja vu as I was typing, so uhhhh. Here, (re?)read thru my thoughts (again, probably?) on some silly little guys:D

Okay no one's even arguing about this, but if they ever do!!!! I will always defend Mayuri for stabbing Zaraki in Pernida fight. He quite literally saved his life by doing that, and Zaraki is honestly really fucking lucky to have the ONE guy there with the ability to paralyze, who was smart enough to intuit 'ah, it's attacking the nerves' and deploy it on time. Might be hard to admit, but he does deserve that little hero's welcome he gets at the end.

It IS pretty funny tho when you remember - Mayuri absolutely doesn't NEED to stab someone for the paralysis to work. I'm 99.9% sure he just needs to puncture the skin (and the .1% confusion is bc I don't think I've ever actually seen it used this way, as he VERY much likes to do. a stab. But iirc he does explain it during Uryu fight)

In conclusion: yes Mayuri saved Zaraki's life😌👏👏👏👏but☝️😬 he did it in the most pissy and bastardly way possible😈... ... and then, on TOP of that, did a VERY nerve-grating monologue about his associate's noble sacrifice, knowing full-well said associate could still hear him (right? I'm assuming? I mean, it doesn't rly make sense, but he could move his eye and he looked REAL mad so🤷‍♂️)... so uhhh. No u know what I think? I think he's ensuring Zaraki doesn't thank him, or feel even remotely iffy as to the nature of their relationship as fuck buddies rivals<3

[dazed-dollie]

Second Thoughts…

having second thoughts are you, my fellow good girls?

well, I'm just like a silly little bimbo and I don't know much about philosophy or whatever but I've heard it said that your first thought is what your instincts want you to do and your second thought is how your mind decides how you actually act

isn't that a fun little fact?

it's kinda like when you get horny and want to touch yourself where someone could see, but then your second thought tells you that it's probably not a good idea, right?

but…becoming a good girl is such a funny thing, isn't it? changing your thoughts…conditioning new behaviors…corrupting your mind

maybe its the hypnosis…

maybe its the mantras…

maybe its the way obedience brings praise…

maybe its the way submission brings pleasure…

before you know it those second thoughts start to like change, don't they? the first and second thoughts begin to match up, hm? the little slut that was used to only exist your first thoughts starts creeping into those second thoughts, right?

maybe "its too risky to touch myself here" becomes "I think I can be discreet and quiet"

maybe "this skirt is too short" becomes "I get so much attention when I wear this skirt, I must look so pretty"

maybe "I don't think that toy will fit" becomes "why not give it a try"

maybe "that would make me feel like a slut" becomes "but isn't that so fucking hot, though?"

but it doesn't stop there...you can go even further...what do you think happens when your second thought doesn't just match the first but takes you even further than your own instincts? when the darker fantasies in the back of your mind start to guide how you act?

maybe "I don't want anyone to see me like this" becomes "I should look like the kind of fucktoy that makes them stare and get off" maybe "it's too much, I can't take more" becomes "I'm not gonna stop…I'll try for another and another …wouldn't that please them?"

maybe "giving in and becoming a mindless toy is scary and dangerous" becomes "it's so much more peaceful to surrender my mind and let them use my body"

maybe "I'm not sure what I'm becoming" becomes "I want to break, fall apart, and become something better"

these second thoughts no longer stop you…they push you

every time you have one of these second thoughts you…

drop deeper into your submission…

fall further down the spiral of corruption…

get closer to what you've always truly wanted to be…

so are you having second thoughts good girl? and what are they telling you?

[hexxbug]

ACT 3!!

I can't believe it's over :((

This is probably more analysis than the other ones I've done lol, spoilers below :o

─ ─ ──┉─ ¡! • !¡ ─┉── ─ ─

AHHHHH so sad, I loved it sm

Timebomb!!! I don't ship it a lot, I prefer them platonically icl but it was sooo cute! (the au has won me over though lol but I personally still think in the main timeline they wouldn't be together, maybe Ekko has a crush on her but I hc Jinx as either aroace or just not in a place to be interested in romance)

AND WE GOT MORE EKKO!!! FINALLY!!!!

I think they should've given us a couple extra episodes because him and Heimerdinger, Mel and the whole Jayce Viktor story did not get enough screen time imo, could've done with a bit more interaction idk

Claggor glancing at Mylo, now I may be projecting but that was NOT subtle🤨🤨😏🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

HEIMERDINGER STAYED BEHIND!! NOOOOOO. he was such a silly guy I was very sad

Cait being like "who decides who gets a second chance" like it wasn't her busting Vi out of jail like 6 months prior

JINX SHE WAS SO BROKEN😭😭😭😭MY POOR LASS

lowkey wish we'd got to see her go absolutely batshit over Isha's death but I get the direction they went in (or just been able to see more of their reaction and recovery from her death in general)(because that shit was glossed over)

Vi being so upset and destroyed about Jinx, saying she shouldn't have done this and then Cait going mf I practically engineered this whole encounter😭😭😭

CAITVI IS A GO!!! I REPEAT CAITVI IS A GO!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHGGG THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! I really love how the scene played out

VI'S "Cait I don't FUCKING CARE" just marry her already (ngl not the way I thought that confession would go but I'm glad it was pretty happy)

MEL!!!! I love her character design smmmm it keeps getting better and better🤩🤩🤩she needed more time and practice with her powers though I think they rushed that a bit.

HE REALLY WAS THE BOY SAVIOUR!!!!! COMING IN CLUTCH THERE AT THE END

JAYCE. VIKTOR. YOU GAY MFSS LMAO (platonic or romantic they are so in love) I also think they rushed their whole story because both of them were suddenly like "oh yeah besties again✨✨" and I wanted a bit more story there but THEY STARTED IT TOGETHER AND THEY ENDED IT TOGETHER🥲🥲(they basically saved Piltover with the power of friendship)

JINX NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not okay💔 I know it's what she wanted, really, but it felt so flat idk I wish she'd lived and come to terms with every (also I love her and she needs to come back so that's probably why I didn't like it too lmaoo)(ik she fell like a hundred stories or whatever and canon divergence is a thing but my girl is a big part in LoL so maybeeeeee????)(I'm once again in denial....)

ALSOOO CAIT WAS LOOKING AT THE BLUEPRINTS FOR THE HEXGATE AND HAD JINX'S BOMB SO I WILL STAY UNDER MY LITTLE DENIAL ROCK THANKYOU VERY MUCH

Honourable mentions:

Heimerdinger being like "you sure it's 4 seconds???" and Ekko just like •_• "mmmhm yep definitely" poor guy was TRAUMATISED😭😭😭it was so funny to me

All the outfits in ep 7, I loved them! ALSO THE DANCE SCENE!! SO SWEET

LEST!! I wanted to see more of her she was so cool!

The blue haired woman who died:(( rip to a queen

And the guy who took over manning the hex gun🫡

Maddie, ngl I wasn't expecting her to betray Cait but it was unsurprising really, I would've loved to see what she'd make of the aftermath and better terms the city's are on but it was also a very dramatic moment for Mel and I liked the twist lol.

FIRELIGHTS(EKKO) FIGHTING TOGETHER WITH JINX!!!! AYYY

Just the whole union of Piltover and Zuan in the fight against Ambessa and the Herald(I wanted more build up for that too tbh but anyway)

VIKTOR GOING THROUGH ALL THE TIMELINES TO FIX IT AND IT BEING JAYCE!!!

The sweet little Cait and Vi scene at the end🥹

My mum who's been subjected to all of S2 and her main comment at the end was "I'm still a bit confused" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[starrihan]

Enhypen When You're on Your Period

-> Pairing: Enhypen x afab! Reader

-> Plot: How i think enhypen act/ what they do for you when you're on your period

-> Genre: fluff, very slightly suggestive, comfort, intentional lowercase

-> Warnings: none

-> Word Count: 950 (jungwon and niki's parts are slightly longer)

-> Notes: self-indulgent because I'm on my period rn and the thought of enhypen taking care of their girlfriend's on their period is so cute to me

Heeseung

hes so sweet about it but also cracks jokes. I do believe he'd be the one to be at the store when you ask him to pick up pads/ tampons for the first time and him asking "what size is your pussy?" and he's so serious. after being together for a couple of months he'd learn your cycle (so he can track the next time yall can fuck)

he would try his best to make you feel comfortable if you were having cramps. he would show up at your door with boba/ coffee/ tea, whatever you prefer and then offer to order takeout and spend the night in

༄ ༄ ༄

Jay

I know everyone thinks he's husband and its because he is. he would be on top of your period and better prepared for it than you would be. he would predict the day you would get your period and he's right 95% of the time. he always makes sure the bathroom is stocked with whatever you use, making sure to buy extra toilet paper and wipes that week.

he makes sure your favorite snacks are stocked in the kitchen and buys you a heating pad if you don't already have one. would cook dinner for you and set everything up and then clean up afterwards because you shouldn't "worry your pretty little head about a thing."

overall just the perfect person to take care of you on your period

༄ ༄ ༄

Jake

nervous pt. 1. I think jake would be nervous the first time you get your period when you guys started dating. he'd be scared to say or do the wrong thing that could make you upset or frustrated. its a stark contrast to his normally silly personality. he would treat you like you're made of glass if you tell him that you're cramping, as if you'd break if he touched you.

you'd have to reassure him that you're okay and that you're not gonna feel more pain if he holds you. once you calm him down of his fears, he'd be so sweet and perfect. he'd bring you a big bag of snacks and propose you watch funny youtube videos to cheer you up. he'd offer to massage you and then cuddle until you fall asleep

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunghoon

he's very calm the first time you get your period. he has a little sister so he knows about periods and knows the basics. he asks you what you like to do during this time and what you prefer to eat, etc. he likes to buy you small gifts that he thinks will cheer you up. he also proposes you guys go out and take walks to help you feel better, only if you're up for it, of course.

he'll make ramen for the both of you to eat cause he knows it warms you up and will throw on a movie for you two to watch. cleans everything up and then at the end of the night, he picks you up and carries you to bed

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunoo

the moment you told him you were on your period, he started researching everything there was to know about them. "I read that women prefer to have chocolates on their period so i bought you the one you like!"

he's very attentive to your mood. he knows that he can be sassy and while its normally for jokes, he eases up on the sass if he sees that you're uncomfortable or in pain and focuses on you feeling better. will do skincare with you at the end of the night because he knows you sometimes skip it if you're too tired. gets you matching headbands and wristbands to make the process cuter. he's just so lovely

༄ ༄ ༄

Jungwon

nervous pt. 2. of course he knows what periods are and he's been around people who have had their periods. but the first time you get you period he makes a joke about "how bad could they be?" and he immediately learns his lesson when you're shooting daggers at him. once you tell him all the things that happen to your body during your period (in too much detail for his liking) he is very mindful about your feelings.

he's like a little puppy, fetching you whatever you need the moment you ask for it. he learns the queues of when you're in pain or when you're feeling too hot or too cold and tried to remedy it instantly. he gives you plenty of hugs and kisses to help make you feel better and will do anything to see you laugh, your favorite being him making funny faces or messing with his hair <3

༄ ༄ ༄

Niki

he knows a lot more than it may seem. you may be his first girlfriend but he surprises you with how much he knows. he asks you what size pad/ tampon you need when you tell him. even if you don't need any, he'll go out and buy you some anyways, so you don't run out of them. he also would always keep an extra one in his bag whenever he's out with you in case you need it.

he would take you on cute little dates for ice cream for whenever you're craving a sweet treat. he would suggest you two play video games. if you're against each other he'd let you win, despite your protests. at the end of the night, he'd tell you to get ready for bed while he tidies up. he would find you laying in bed, already asleep and would pull the covers over you both before cuddling you to sleep.

[loveless-in-nowheresville]

-JJBA x reader jealousy headcanons-

Really randomly felt like doing this so-

here!

But yeah jealousy headcanons, self-explanatory I think. Got carried away (as I do) (Bruno oml I had. Much to say. Basically wrote an outline for a fic for him lol)

Characters: Joseph Joestar, Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati (randomly much longer than the other ones whoops), Guido Mista, Leone Abbacchio

Warnings: jealous behaviors obviously, mild violence implied, slightly unhealthy relationship with Abbacchio and his low self-esteem, mildly suggestive I guess

-Joseph Joestar: A man who has no right getting jealous, but will anyways. Never a super intense jealousy, I think it would take quite a bit of boldness from another person flirting with you before he gets jealous enough to step in. Though when he does get jealous he’ll play it off really passive-aggressively, with that usual arrogant charm of his. “Oh I’m sorry (he’s not sorry), my date and I (he puts a hand on your hip) were just LEAVING (he gives you a pointed look that asks you to play along), let’s go, DEARIE ( a nickname he uses for you when he’s a bit miffed)” and before you know it you’re being dragged away by a massive British man. It’s a bit embarrassing really…because he Does start fights over you, and he always acts so proud of himself too-

It is kinda funny to see him acting all smug over winning a fight (easily, since he’s huge and muscular and a really good fighter) and then immediately getting dragged off and scolded by you. His sudden shift from that confident and arrogant guy to a nervous and apologetic mess is entertaining to see.

You do think it’s kinda sweet that he cares enough for you to actually get jealous, but you also know it’s kinda just a pride thing for him. He’s always been a man who takes things pretty far, always been a bit wild and untamable…and you liked that about him…but you always knew it would get him in trouble, and usually you were the one picking up after him when he lets his jealousy get the best of him and he ends up causing a scene.

-Rohan Kishibe: Man who fervently denies being jealous but gets jealous easily and all the time. He gives off weird vibes so sometimes people just ask: “is this guy bothering you?” if they don’t recognize him or can’t tell your in a relationship with him and wow does it make him mad. He goes into one of his little rants about how he is your partner and it is completely rude to assume he was bothering you just because he doesn’t coddle you like some other men would their partner. But honestly can anyone be blamed for thinking he was a little sketch? He typically doesn’t talk to you very nicely, and he looks like an odd individual just following you around.

Beyond people, he also gets strangely jealous when you show animals more attention than him. You stopping to pet cats or dogs on your little strolls with him, and he’s just glowering a short distance away. A full on SCOWL. He gets so annoyed when you coo and pet and hug an animal for too long in his presence. Probably because he thinks you prefer the type of love and affection animals can give you over the type he gives you. He knows he’s grouchy and irritable and sometimes struggles to say nice things, so in a way it makes him feel self-conscious. But he thinks that’s stupid, so he doesn’t use his words and instead acts jealous, making petty comments about how ridiculous it is that he must share your affection with animals and he’ll even shoo animals away from the two of you sometimes. You think it’s silly. And you can easily tell what’s going on, no matter how hard he tries to deny it.

-Bruno Bucciarati: (Bruno is so hot when he gets protective oml-) He’s a mature man, and doesn’t often give in completely to his unpleasant feelings and emotions, and jealousy is no exception. You will Not catch this man embarrassing himself by causing a fuss over something small. Someone flirting with you at the bar and even buying you a drink? Not a big deal. He trusts you, and he knows your heart belongs with him and he would never want to be one of those jealous lovers constantly smothering their partner.

When it does get to the point where he steps in, it’s when someone starts getting too handsy and cozy with you.

You still remember the first time Bruno intervened out of jealousy.

It hadn’t been a big deal at first, some inexperienced guy somehow let his friends convince him to try and talk to you at a restaurant. Bruno had stepped outside for a minute to take a work call, and either this guy hadn’t realized Bruno was your husband, or saw Bruno leaving as the perfect opportunity to swoop in and make his move.

You sip your wine, minding your own business and waiting patiently for your busy man to return, when your peace is rudely interrupted by some guy who thinks he can just come up and talk to you. You can’t help but find it a bit funny…surely this guy just didn’t know who you were? You let him make a fool of himself for a bit.

First there was his pathetic attempts at complimenting you, telling you your eyes were mesmerizing and you were like the sun and-well you didn’t pay much attention for very long, just nodding along with what he said.

You hadn’t noticed Bruno had walked back into the room. He was waiting, watching for a moment, knowing you were eventually going to send that guy away, but at first he thought it was a bit amusing too. Yes, that guy definitely didn’t know you were mafia, and that Bruno was your husband.

When you notice Bruno’s presence, you relax a bit, and this guy who couldn’t take a hint for some reason thought it was because of him and tried to shoot yet another shot.

He dares to invite you to dance with him.

You say you have two left feet.

He insists.

You say no.

This time he laughs and says that you were just being shy, and he reaches down and grasps your wrist and you realize this brat is gonna try and drag you into a dance.

Your attention had been so focused on the stranger, that you hadn’t noticed Bruno getting increasingly irritated at the audacity of your fanboy.

Before you make a move to break free from him, the sound of Bruno’s open palm slamming onto your table immediately focuses your mind on the man you’d much rather be dancing with.

Bruno wasn’t a PDA type of man, with the most he’d usually give you being just some handholding, or your arm wrapped around his, but now-

He had angled himself in such a way that your face was practically pressed into the exposed parts of his chest while he was turned just enough to shoot daggers at the man who had the nerve to try to drag you out of your seat.

You could feel the eyes of the patrons in the restaurant, the ones who knew Bruno watched carefully. They knew it took a lot to get Bruno to cause a scene in a restaurant, and some were morbidly curious to see where it might go, now that he’s finally been pushed there.

It was a moment’s lapse in his usually controlled demeanor, but his eyes remained sharp against the man, who backed up instinctively at Bruno’s interference.

“Mind if I cut in?”

You know Bruno better than anyone, and right now you can hear the irritation in his tone, and you realize this is the first time anyone’s been quite so bold trying to get your attention in front of him.

“Well, I, uh…we were gonna dance…” the guy stammers out. Despite not knowing who Bruno was, he could tell he should feel intimidated right now.

Bruno is already holding his own hand out to you, and when you take it, he helps you to your feet gently, keeping a much closer proximity to you than he usually would.

“You’d better get in line then,” he replies, not hiding the displeasure in his voice, but you can already tell he’s calming down a bit now that he’s got your hand in his.

This guy doesn’t even know what to say, just kinda stands there stammering like a fool while Bruno slides his hand down to your lower back, eliciting a small shiver and gasp from you, very effectively displaying the intimacy of your relationship.

He lifts your left hand up with his right, almost like the two of you were going to dance right there, but you recognized he was very purposefully just emphasizing his wedding ring on your finger.

“Bruno,” you hiss when the man awkwardly scurries off. He really was making a scene and it was embarrassing, despite how much you loved this side of him you rarely got to see.

You can practically see Bruno snap out of it, and he clears his throat and finally untangles himself from you and calls for the check, but he doesn’t apologize for causing a bit of chaos, because he doesn’t regret it.

-Guido Mista: He’s quick to jealousy, and his disposition means his jealousy is gonna be the problem of everyone in his vicinity.

At first it’ll start with intense glares at whoever he’s concerned about, and even you, kinda trying to goad you into telling whoever’s getting too cozy to piss off.

You’ll notice Guido lays on the physical affection very thick to try and leave a message. His hands are on you, practically pulling you into his lap, very intentionally placing his hands in positions to suggest the romantic nature of your relationship.

He whispers in your ear and rubs your shoulders and back and doesn’t even hesitate to badmouth whoever’s bothering him.

He might even start fights, usually never hurting someone too seriously, but not shying away from giving them a scare at least. (The proper way to handle someone making moves on your sweetheart is to inform the offender that you have a firearm.)

You find it embarrassing, but you’re flattered he feels so strongly about you. And you know it comes from a genuine protectiveness, but also a bit of possessiveness, given his unfamiliarity with serious relationships and his anxiety that he might lose you.

A guy who can learn to mellow out a bit as you become more comfortable in your relationship, but he’ll always be a bit fiery, and quick to act, especially when you’re involved.

-Leone Abbacchio: Probably at first bottles up any jealousy he feels. Just add it to the insecurity pile. He already has such low self-esteem.

He feels like he’s not good enough for you…you deserve a man who can actually give you that emotional intelligence and kindness you deserve…honestly you’d be much better off with a guy like Bucciarati than him, and he cannot help but feel that every time he hurts your feelings or makes you frustrated, or even when he swears you seem more relaxed and comfortable around Bruno instead of him. You’re probably just settling for him.

For some reason you’re pursuing a relationship with him, probably for some superficial reason he can’t see yet. Maybe you just liked his body, or you enjoyed how pathetic he was. No matter how much the two of you fought, he would Always come crawling back to you, a desperate man who couldn’t give up the only person who let him into their bed and showed him some genuine compassion, even though he couldn’t fathom why. Jealousy from him translates into irritability, a lot of it internally, mentally tearing himself to shreds for being so pathetic. But also externally, more likely to say something like: “THEN JUST LEAVE,” or “find someone else,” when the two of you have an inevitable argument. And sometimes it’ll result in an unfounded accusation, something like: “I know you’d rather have literally anyone else, but for some reason you think you’re stuck with me.”

It says a LOT more about him than you, but it still hurts your feelings that he might actually believe that.

Of course you want to be with him. He matters so much to you, he just doesn’t let himself see that. But deep down, he knows if you really didn’t want to be with him, there was nothing stopping you from moving on.

You need patience with him, but also firm and honest. He’s Really bad at opening up himself, but if you do it, he’ll try to do the same. Only because it’s fair.

It’ll eventually get through to him how you feel about him, and someday he’ll come to terms with how much he genuinely cares about you, and how he wishes for a future with you.

[goldendivinewrath]

@forgivenpunishment

If he wasn't already exhausted -- pleasantly! -- Vash would absolutely do something about the way those little sounds Wolfwood makes seem to go directly to the core of him, oversensitive tingles only echoing back and forth over nerves. He wants to say as much, but he's pretty sure the words would come out as a partial jumble. Even the tendrils barely twitch from their slumped state all around him, but there's a silent suggestion to himself to make up for it all later. It's a good feeling.

What is not such a good feeling is the moment of alarm as Wolfwood signals pain, then simply ceases to be standing. If he'd actually even managed that much at all; what Vash sees is a partial collapse before the reason hits him, a quietly startled sound from his own mouth and a sudden tension in his limbs because he has to move but the weakness in his muscles makes everything flutter and shake and then--

Vash laughs. He doesn't mean to, isn't completely aware of what he's doing or that the sound is coming from him initially, and even then his mind is making revolutions around the point before he manages to press but hands over his mouth. The laughter doesn't stop, but he tries. Failing miserably the second he's pouted at.

"'M sorry!" The apology sounds more than a little insincere when it's attempted through laughter and a pair of hands. He's no better off, he knows, but that's the thing: he knows. Like he should have known that the two of them should probably just spend a few minutes not moving at the very least, recovering.

When he's finally only occasionally giggling, he's recovered enough to at least roll over onto his knees. After the second attempt, anyway. "Sorry." Vash makes the effort to offer again, first trying to reach Wolfwood with tendrils, but they're still not quite obeying him. Instead of trying to pull the other man back onto the bed like he'd initially wanted to, he simply stretches out and collapses on his belly so he can uselessly wrap his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders from the bed instead. "Guess we both just need a minute, right?" He'll get the water, he'll clean them up, just... not now.

It's still funny. It's silly and stupid and embarrassing for the both of them, but after a moment spent stifling laughter into Wolfwood's shoulder, the question is very soft and very genuine. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

@goldendivinewrath

"Haa—ahh—ah-ah," Wolfwood tries and fails to stifle the outright whine that immediately follows Vash's vine pulling away. His fingers tighten around his partner's arms—both porcelain and machine—even as he lifts himself up, and he can't help the way he pants, completely out of breath. Vash stole it—stole every single one.

What an experience. His first time, and Vash held nothing back (he thinks). Wolfwood knows that no normal humans can create vines like that, can create resonance like that, so he basks in the glow of something special. Something just for him. Something... Vash would want to do again, it seems like. The very idea makes his already flushed cheeks blush harder—okay, they can't blush any harder, but that's just what it feels like.

"Water—y-yeah. I can... I can do that. I'll get us some water and, uh, clean all this up," the undertaker stumbles over his words in a drowsy delirium. It must be unusual to see him like this, and he swears to God if Vash ever brings this up in public—

Wait. Shit. That's kinda...

Before he gets lost in yet another daydream, Wolfwood manages to lift one knee over Vash's leg, then lowers a foot, another foot, and—

"ShIT—fuck—owww—"

As he attempts to stand, he immediately collapses.

What's the deal?! He's physically fit—this should be nothing! Why does it feel like his damn legs are made of rubber? With a groan, he slumps sideways the rest of the way down to the floor, as though he's given up on the idea of walking or moving at all. Wolfwood looks over his shoulder, pouting at Vash as though he's responsible for this.

"What the hell... did you do to me, Spikey?"

Another groan, and he rolls onto his back, butt-naked and staring up at the blond with that same, signature pout that only Wolfwood is capable of.

"Can't fuckin'... feel my damn legs," Wolfwood sighs, defeated, "Well, this is embarrassing."

[lagt-duck]

Day 5 of Sharktober!

The shark druid of kelp forest is often seeking to offer his help to lost travelers

Say hi to him if you meet him!

As always this challenge belongs to @requinoesis and @capy974

[doctorsiren]

He’s like “wtf did I get myself into???”

[dat1angel]

Danny the tiktok star

DPxDC au

So Danny, as any high school teen would do, makes videos on the latest video sharing social media site. In this case that's tiktok, although if we look at the time that Danny Phantom came out Vine might be more appropriate...

Either way, he makes silly little videos that range from funny jokes, A Day in the Life at Casper High, Space Fact Friday, POV: You live in Amity Park, roasting whatever ghost happens to be attacking that day, ect. He gains a small following of people who like his content but it's nowhere near being able at call himself tiktok famous. Until one post...

"Hello, my name is Danny, and this is my Official Application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me"

He jokes about how he is a young teen male with black hair, blue eyes, and a questionable home life which makes him the perfect candidate for a Bruce Wayne adoptee. The video goes viral so Danny leans into the bit and starts making more of that content. Photoshoping myself into a Wayne family photo, What I would wear to a Wayne gala, Taking a 'Which Wayne Are You' quiz.

When the Wayne kids find his account they think it's hilarious and keep an eye for new posts from him. One day Tim is stuck in a boring WE meeting so when he gets a notification that Danny posted a new video he will gladly take the distraction. He wasn't expect what he would find...

The video opens with the camera facing Danny, but he's not in any of his usual filming locations. It's hard to tell what exactly is happening around him but there's shouting in the distance and the sound of sirens. In fact, it looks as if Danny is leaning against an ambulance. Danny looks unusually pale and has what looks like a shock blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The camera is shakey and when he speaks his voice comes out weak.

"Hey guys... It's Danny. You know how I joke a lot about being adopted by Bruce Wayne?..."

Danny pauses and takes a shakey breath. It seems like he loses his grip on the phone for a moment because the camera fumbles before being held upright again. It's not a great view, but viewers can catch a glimpse of a destroyed building in the background, firefighters still working to get all the flames doused. When Danny starts speaking again he seems to choke on the words.

"W-Well, something happened and.. I'm k-kinda and orphan now? So uh..." Danny gives a small sad sounding chuckle that fades into a light cough, "this is my official application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me. Internet, do your thing..."

The video ends.

[magnetic-tide]

oh my god! i love that everyone's reactions were pretty consistently "silly mascot antic, sure hope the game starts soon" before transitioning incredibly quickly to "we are going to witness a horrific incident"

anyway, quotes under the cut

first of course sharks reactions

Minsky: You start seeing the players’ reactions. Scotty Bowman. Mike Ricci’s reaction is hilarious. Looking at him, you can see the words “dumbass” going through his head. Ricci: That does sound about right, yeah. I thought, that’s the first time I’ve seen this. It was funny at first, and then we were like, “Holy shit, if he goes down, it isn’t going to end well.”

2 rather different red wings reactions

Ward: The feeling on the bench transitioned to we might witness some guy die. The conversation went from “I wonder how they’re going to get him down,” to, “Oh my god, we’re going to witness a guy in a Shark outfit drop flat on the ice.” It wasn’t down in their end, it was right in front of us. We were going through all the possible scenarios of how this is going to end. Kris Draper, Red Wings forward: We were kidding around saying you know what, he’s not really in the way, let’s just start the game. He was high enough that it wasn’t going to be a factor. If someone flipped the puck and went up and hit him just play it like it’s the scoreboard, blow it down and go from there.

sj sharkie's thought process

Sharkie: The next thing for me was, how do I play this off and stay in character? How do I make it that people aren’t panicking? I knew in my mind that if I started to freak out that kids, families, people in the crowd, even our own staff would start freaking out. So I had to think to myself, how do I stay in character? How do I calm myself down? How do I make this funny so that it isn’t a nightmare for people to watch? There are times I’m chewing on the rope like I’m trying to free myself like a fish that was caught in a line, making hand gestures like scissors — because fans are pointing at you.

and then of course his rescue

Gold: The safety concern more than anything was obviously for him. He had been sitting there for 15 or 20 minutes. I think the circulation in his legs was gone by then. He was hurting. He was in bad shape. I’m really surprised that he left his gear on, but that’s Sharkie for ya. Minsky: I was absolutely worried. We were on the phone with the fire department wondering if we could get a fire truck through the Zamboni entrance with a ladder, and what does that look like? Gold: It took quite a while to figure out a game plan and how we were going to either bring him down or lift him up. We decided to lift him up because he was hurting at that point. Basically it was a tug of war, but only on one end. There were six to eight of us who just got on a rope and just started pulling him up. With that many people, you could pull somebody up pretty easily if there’s no restriction. But it was a pretty tense moment. Campbell: We lowered a rope down to Sharkie, and he tied it around chest and under his armpits, and took a wrap around himself, which is kind of a terrible thing. But to his credit, he tied something that obviously held. So that was pretty scary, because I didn’t know exactly what he was doing. Pollak: They had all the folks up in the rafters trying to bring him up there, and they got him pretty close to the top but his head kind of didn’t clear the landing that everybody was standing on. Of all the people standing on that platform, I thought they were all men, but one figure jumps over the railing and it’s a woman, and she’s the one who puts herself at peril because she’s not on the platform. Minsky: She jumps out on the catwalk, and she’s not tied to anything. She’s standing on a 94-foot high catwalk trying to pull him up from underneath. Gold: Terry is one of our union local riggers, and they are fearless when it comes to that kind of stuff. She knew what she was getting into. Campbell: You can see that he’s captured under the beam. And so I knew the only way to get him would be to get out on the beam and take ahold of the rope. That’s why I got out there. It’s what you call a mayhem rescue. I wasn’t on a harness or anything, but you can see I have like a death grip on the rail behind me. Sharkie: She went out and just put enough pressure on the rope to swing me out from under the beam so they could pull me up the rest of the way. If it was me, I wouldn’t go out there without a harness and a line.

will they let jornton down from the rafters before puck drop? or is he just going to be dangling up there while the game goes on?

[scoriarose]

She came up with a new activity

[aspiring-prototype]

Seeing all these posts on the DCA's bday and the 21st of September got me making this thing.

*sensibly chuckles to self*

Happy Reveal-versary to Sun & Moon and happy 21st Sept!

@crabsnpersimmons , thank you for the advice!

[sysig]

Take any opportunity at all (Patreon)

[mika-you-nerd]

Duality of man

Trust me I am super normal about this guy