#these are just shitposts I put far too much effort into

[jellynotbees]

Hello, here is another drawing compilation that I colored because I can’t help myself

I imagine with the first one that a non-cat follower got cooking herbs mixed up with the catnip while on cooking duty and hell broke loose come lunchtime

Full canvas under cut

on an unrelated note do you think dog followers chase squirrel followers

[starkittnd93]

…why is this unironically my best artwork posted on here so far-

[Textless version under the cut!]

[cent-scratchnsniff]

elaborate self hate and ungodly amounts of yapping. underneath is just the main ones without text on it

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan Entity + [G.N] Fastfood Worker Reader

Why the ice cream machine at your job doesn't work anymore. Aka a shitpost made with a little too much effort.

[Suggestive]

"Y/n! Machine's broke!"

"So-?"

"..Can you fix it?"

You shove your earpiece into the hands of your coworker. As the person who's been on board the longest aside from your manager, wherever they are, and just sane enough to tell the tale the recent hires often ran to you for help with the issue of the day. Or hour, if you're really unlucky- By now, this place has broken you down enough that you simply carry through the task at hand under the guide of ancient instruction manuals you found lying around. You were used to doing things about your pay grade, but this one was personal.

The ice cream was what kept you pushing. Arguably the only thing edible on the menu, with enough taste to back that claim up. Rich, creamy, and a hundred percent free for members of the staff. At the start of your break or during the end of your shift you'd grab a cone to relish in the fruit of your hard labor with frozen goodness.

You walk over the kitchen side of the room. The evening rush was dying down and it was just you and your coworker today so that only left you and whoever was sitting atop the machine you were sent to fix in the area.

"Hellooo there~"

Maybe it's time you go check on the drive in window. Gets lonely this time of night.

The intruder kicks their feet against the side of the machine, humming along happily to the beat. You recognize them as the coworker who quit just the other day, but something's off. Their head bends at an odd angle to get a better look at you from their position; eyes milky white rather than the baby blues remember and their skin ghostly pale, lines of foam frothed in the corner of their lips. Their uniform seemed dated with the outfit painted white as apposed to the typical burnt red and the patch on their shirt depicting the pair of horns floating over an ice cream cone. You can see something roll back on their ashen tongue as they speak again.

"Missed you today."

"You quit four days ago."

"This...." They look at their badge. "Teri individual certainly did. I on the other hand have been here for quite a while and probably the first to see what's so great about you. Nice warm hands and willing to take it straight from the nozzle."

You knew that twenty wasn't worth taking that bet. "That was one time."

"Seven, actually. Believe me I kept track.

"Whatever. Can you move so I can fix the machine?"

"That's a nice looking cone right there."

You follow their eyes. There's an ice cream cone on the counter within arm's reach - topped with the perfect swirl that put your attempts to a murky grave. "What about it?"

"Go on- Taste it. You deserve a little something special after all your effort."

"I really have to fix the machine..."

"Do this and it'll run good as new. I promise."

You pick up the cone. Your "coworker" straights up like a post and place their hands between their legs as they lean in, dipping so far it looked like they were ready to pounce. Tossing them a sideeye, you course your tongue upside the peaked curves of the treat. Probably not the best course of action as you catch the moment their soul figuratively leaves their body. Still, their stare held no weight compared to the fluffy mount of heaven melting on your tongue. The best soft serve you've had by far. You nurse the tip, wanting to savor the treat-

"Keeping going."

But you haven't the time for such pleasantries. Sweeping the cream to the back of your mouth with your tongue, the cone's quickly disappears pass your lips. The ice cream drips and dribbles down your chin, creating suction between the pause you take between licks. Your coworker focuses intensely on the sneaks of the pink muscle lapping at the dessert, practically crushing their hands with their thighs. That foam hanging from their maw bubblish vigorously and glows a haunting blue as they hiss through their teeth. The machine begins to shake.

"Stick it out...."

You stick your tongue out, padding a little too hard against the cone. What's left of the scoop breaks off and runs down the back of your hand, caught by your mouth before it could hit the floor. You shutter as some misses and goes down your shirt. Your coworker doesn't have the dignity to try hiding the moan rippling through their worn throat. Their head rolls back as does their eyes, fog trailing into the air as they claw at their neck. The machine's lights flicker rapidly between red and green, melted ice cream overflowing the edge of the table and onto the floor disbursing through the pipes in thick, fluid streams.

"Yes- you absolute tease. I've waited to see this for so long. Always leaving right when things get good. You don't know how happy I get seeing you every during your breaks. You always look so upset, but then- you come to me..."

You force swallow the ice cream in your mouth, fighting the the ache traveling from jaw to your brain. You briefly tongue the crater left in the cone forgetting about your company momentarily. Realization snapping back, you bite around the shell and shovel it in your mouth once it able. Everything was sticky. Your face, hands, upper chest and mostly uniform.

Your coworker hops off the machine, making quick work of shoving your fingers in their mouth. The cavity and their tongue was wet and slick, but in a way it felt like putting your hand in a cooler with some kind of frozen serpant lying in wait. They clean your fingers in earnest, getting through each nook and even beneath your nails. Doing the same with your opposite, they finally suckle on the collar of your shirt as if to clean it just the same. Their teeth ghost a mark over your skin. You shove them off you.

"That's enough."

"For now." Your coworker surprises you with one more lick scoring the sticky mess staining your cheek. The tip of their tongue manages to hit your lips. With that same domestic flare, they grab the tail end of your apron and use it to wipe up the remaining slick, smiling as if they'd be waiting for you to come home from your busy life all day.

"I hope we see each other again soon. I mean we will, but maybe next time I'll put on something more... comfort. Take care, gorgeous."

Your coworker winks - wandering off towards the back with one lingering smile. They blow a kiss as their body dips behind the door.

"Hey, Y/n did you get the machine fixed?"

Your pants legs sag turning in the flood below. "When you think about it do we really need ice cream?"

[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[the-lumpfish-king]

HEY! It’s me, Lumpku!

Thought I’d make one of these pined post things to introduce myself.

My name is Solanum, but you can call me Sol or Lump (or Sol Badthey if you’re epic)

I’m a 23 year old ginger, use they/it/she/anything non-male, demiromantic, exist in an asexual quantum superposition, and am bi/pan. Most importantly, I am also a fish

I have a degree in Physics with plans to go into a PhD program for research Astronomy. My area of focus is galaxy structure, formation, and evolution. I’m currently working on my first research papers, adapting my undergraduate thesis work into proper astronomy journal form. I love doing physics and take requests for calculations, stupid or serious (check “#lump’s calculations” for those I’ve done so far, these are my best posts by far).

I try to keep fully nsfw stuff off this blog, but mild nsfw is to be expected, so minors beware

Outside of research, work, and classes I can usually be found gaming, playing MTG, or putting way too much effort into my shitposts while watching something on my second monitor.

I can be found on a few other sites under the same username but am only active here, and if any mutuals want to connect on discord or steam dm me

If you take one thing away from reading this it’s GO PLAY OUTER WILDS RIGHT NOW. Do not look up anything about it, just play the game and then get your friends to play it. Then we can all talk about it. Please, I need to talk about this masterpiece with more people.

Now that you’ve learned about me I have gained access to your walls. Don’t worry, all I do is nibble a bit of drywall from time to time.

Too many fun facts below

My personal motto is: “The universe is scary and so much bigger than any of us can comprehend, so it’s our duty to fag it up as much as possible”

My plushies names: -Tofrug: Lord Squishers -Manatee: Weapon of Lettuce Destruction -Reimu Fumo: Air Fried Bastard -Hydreigon: Hans -Vaporeon: Dihydrogen Monoxide Puppy -Meowscarada: Greenfield -Reshiram: Nuclear Mommy -Gardevior: Horizon -Blåhaj: Jimbei -Gobbo Bard: Ga Bu

I love nature, and evergreen forests in particular. I enjoy hiking and mushroom and berry picking.

My most proud find is this massive cluster of morels I came across a couple years back.

Here’s an overabundance of my personal top 3′s, not necessarily the three I think are best (except Outer Wilds, that’s best thing humanity has produced). Games: Outer Wilds, FFXIV, Ori and the Will of the Wisps Manga: One Piece, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Dungeon Meshi **Books:** Red Rising, Percy Jackson, A Song of Ice and Fire Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Secret of Kells, How to Train Your Dragon Shows: Mob Psycho 100, Good Omens, Ya Boy Kongming! Characters: Mr Torgue Highfive Flexington, Kronk, Nico Robin Mountains: Mt. Hood, Sierra de la Laguna, Mauna Kea **Flying Critters: Giant Golden-Crowned Flying Fox, **Pelican, Toucan **Landbound Creatures: **Red Panda, Jumping Spider, Goliath Frog Marine Animals: Sea Lion, Lumpfish, Giant Pacific Octopus **Pokemon: **Gardevoir, Hisuian Goodra, Zekrom **Soundtracks: **FFXIV, Made in Abyss, Wildfrost Albums: Starship Velociraptor, The Cures What Ails Ya, Westwinds (The Real McKenzies) Foods: Cottage Pie, Khao Soi, my dad’s Chile Verde **Fruit: **Mexican Pitaya, Atemoya, Mango, Huckleberry Galaxy Clusters: Abell 0209, Abell 1689, macs0416

Here’s a couple of neat galaxy pictures I took using my university’s telescope:

[ugh-yoongi]

hello, friends 🫶🏻

just a psa/personal rant?? not really a rant but

i wanted to talk about a few things, and i think the cleanest and easiest segue is to say: i have left all of my writing networks. it is 100% nothing personal to any of them, i have enjoyed each and every one, but there are a few reasons why.

one, i am not active in any of the discord servers, so there was ✨anxiety✨ about not contributing and feeling obligated.

two (and this is the segue part): obviously these networks have a big reach, and i am feeling more and more anxious about exposing my work to the masses.

it’s a double-edged sword, because i write what i want and what makes me happy, but there is always a part of me that wants feedback and wants other people to see and enjoy it. but it has been tense here lately and the “please do not perceive me” feelings are REAL.

there is just… no nuance anymore. me posting “i don’t think it was a good decision for jungkook to go to qatar” turned into a bunch of anons calling me islamophobic and a bunch of other stuff. me saying it was a bad look for jimin to feature on a song by a r*pist turned into “you can’t have an opinion because you’re a rap line stan.”

i’m most certainly not perfect. i try to do the right thing. but tumblr has turned into a place where you will get bullied off the site if someone does not like you personally and decides you’re the internet’s villain of the day. you are put into situations you cannot win. if you defend yourself, you’re making excuses. if you don’t, you’re guilty and all those things people accused you of being are true.

it is literally this tweet:

this is not a fandom known for being welcoming of discourse, but we have to be able to give others grace. there has to be nuance. like, we are literally stanning bts, who have done and said and written problematic things. we should not excuse intentionally harmful behavior, but we need to be able to have conversations and believe, to a certain extent, that not everyone behaves in malicious ways.

we all fuck up and will continue to do so. i hope your mistakes are handled with grace and you are given the benefit of the doubt, and i hope you extend that grace when others inevitably make mistakes as well.

i am not involved in drama here. i am 31 years old and too old and tired. i just want to write and cry over seokjin and shitpost with my friends.

i’m sure this has all been said before, but: i was offline at the time everything went down with m (shout-out the fucking car accident i got in on my way to pick up my friends from the airport, why did this seemingly happen to everyone??) but they are someone i have interacted with both here and offline, and how all of that played out was fucked up, to say the least. others have explained it far more eloquently than me, but it bears repeating.

so while i love writing and i love sharing my work, there is a part of me that’s anxious every time i post. including this. i will continue to do so and hope that this site becomes warmer and more welcoming, because i see a lot of posts lamenting writers leaving or deactivating, and i just think: “well, yeah.”

enough has been said about interaction and the like/reblog ratio, which is definitely a huge part. it can be demoralizing to spend so much time and effort writing a fic that gets little interaction. but the environment is a big part, too, and i’m hopeful that can change.

(but also—protect your peace, whatever that means for you. unfollow that person. block that tag. you don’t have to engage with everything, especially if it raises your blood pressure. one of the few good things about the internet is that you’re largely able to curate your experience. don’t feel guilty about taking advantage of that.)

i will finish this by saying: i am always open to having conversations so long as they’re in good faith. it is not anyone’s place to police my behavior, but if i ever do or say something that is not cool, you are more than welcome to address it with me. i encourage you to do so. as flor once said: comfort can’t help me grow up.

love u all. pls be nice to one another. 🖤

[z0urcherri]

Not really a full review but just the thoughts at the forefront of my mind If they'd of just cut some horror references (Shining elevator especially) down into shorter scenes (it'd also work as an unobtrusive background element) AND made it easier to tell apart future and past characters that happen to be in the same scene together, this film would honestly be damn near perfect. It was still an enjoyable experience, though. Alot of scenes genuinely come close to freaking me out, like the respawn terminal failure. Having a fully voice acted cast and some custom models was a treat, i just don't see why some were custom and some were just Scout with a mustache slapped on. Plus, in the funeral scene, it's too noticeable how detailed Redmond and Blutarch are compared to everyone else in the room. I joked at one point that they blew the character budget on those two and couldn't afford to detail everyone else. The voice direction also felt lacking, with certain actors (excluding Scout's and Soldier's bc DAMN i actually asked a couple times if they got Rick, posthumously, and Nathan to do the voice work) focusing more on sounding as much as they could like the original mercs than the actual performance. Mind you i'm not saying they did a BAD job, they did after all do a fantastic job with the emotional line deliveries. Usually, you would complain about the cartoony art style of TF2 clashing with someone's high-end attempt to make the shots photorealistic or so, but since Fortress Films went to all the trouble of touching up everything with grit and keeping it consistent throughout scenes, it honestly works well even if non-TF2 models end up being used. The contrast actually fits. The plot...honestly, again, this is where i wish certain horror tropes got cut way down. Did we really need a whole scene of zombie mercs doing stereotypical zombie things? I don't even think it added anything to the plot, it just happened and was pretty easy to forget right after they're all killed. It's just how it never gets referenced again once it's over. I'm...also not really a fan of the shoehorned Christian imagery around the end. It's basically another trope and again it added pretty much nothing. It's also fun trying to figure out who can and can't actually die. This, ironically, might be the only thing from the zombie scene worth any salt, if the implication is RED mercs zombify after some time while BLU just infinitely respawns (Jules wouldn't be dead and therefore would not need saving if this were the case, which is inch resting) The attention to detail otherwise is fantastic. I keep finding parallels i didn't catch the first time. Along with shots that are legit drop-dead GORGEOUS, or even cutting-edge as far as cinematography goes and are incredibly rare to see in other SFM animations, the mo-cap is some of the best i've seen. It's rough sometimes and makes for some funny facial expressions, but when it works it WORKS. The theatrical feel is just...unmatched. You almost wonder if Valve themselves produced this because of how good the scenes look. I was also really impressed with the sound design, and also the fire and water effects, prominent throughout the film. Obviously, i think the film was really, really good, it's just that some parts feel like this project started as a shitpost animation, before getting stitched together with the parts where the team decided "no, we need to put actual effort into this". I also don't understand why, if the soundtrack is an original composition, the artist couldn't be credited anywhere. Anyway, go see Emesis Blue and come back with your own thoughts.

[doorsclosingslowly]

1, 7, 19, 25!

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. Hm idk I try not to repeat myself too much because I have so so many WIPs to work on. Probably the blorbo du jour with a strong narrative voice and selective perception is suffering due to something that's probably their fault, but someone manages to empathise with him and that doesn't solve the problems it still means something that they don't see blorbo as scum. Either that or a discord shitpost discussion about sex that got way out of hand and now "glove fingering uti" has sprouted feelings

Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. (not going too far back bc I'll only be depressed I havent written much this year

Lexicographers were all liars. They put words into the dictionary for things that did not exist, such as “joy” and “calm” and “sleep”. Most emotions were invented, presumably for some malign plot specifically targeting Gríma and obviously connected to stealing his job. What else could they steal from Gríma, after all? He had nothing, not even dignity. Not since Saruman had taken over the department. He’d been so friendly to Gríma before Théoden’s illness and retirement. He’d commiserated about Gríma needing to take over some of the Department Head duties on top of his actual job, just because Théoden was less and less capable.

I just think I really nailed the vibe of a guy who's annoying and self-centred but also genuinely honestly miserable. (this is the catfishing AU, which kinda takes place after Saruman successfully and with Gríma's help conquered Rohan/the art department of a university and then that didn't improve Gríma's ennui at all somehow, in fact life is even worse)

Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? I have an insatiable need to tell myself stories when I don't have anything to do & huge trouble falling asleep. I would make up shit about anything but if I do it about blorbos, I also get to talk about them

What do you look for in a beta? I've never *looked for* a beta specifically bc I'm very scared of bothering people, but I've shouted into the void in case anyone was interested in betaing my work and I've been super happy about working with Alyssa, Ro, Rumpel and Daro on various stories. My biggest needs are probably for someone to judge whether it all makes sense, bc to me a lot of mental jumps make sense that may confuse someone not trapped in my brain, leaving my third person present and nonstandard english phrasings intact, bc that's on purpose I'm not trying to win a grammar prize I'm trying to turn thought processes into text, and also just generally being a person I know and trust. Trust to put in the effort to understand and to be interested in where I want to take an idea and not where they would like to take it. And also especially I have to trust that I'm not forcing said beta to read something they hate, that they would tell me they want to stop and not force themselves to keep going, bc I've worked on myself enough to be ok with publishing a flop fic now but I'm very scared of making someone do something they hate

Thank you!!!!

[alteredsilicone]

at the risk of sounding too mopey putting this under readmore

whenever i see posts of people lamenting their art flopping i think how the internet has humbled me

the pieces i really like or think are really funny tend to flop (plus i get very little engagement as is, so when people cry about 100 likes i start sweating), so i have just accepted that something is wrong with my brain and my artistic vision and i cannot tap into the zeitgeist and figure out how to Become Big and how to Appeal to People

The Albrecht and Loid, Dante and Qorvex mini comic was the biggest success so far where im actually happy it took off lol (but also i speed-drew it into 2 hours cuz i was leaving the house that day so like... effort licherally doesnt matter)

ok the tagfer/orange cat punch shitpost got like 500 likes on twitter but i dont count shitposts... cuz everyone cries about those taking off

this is also inspired by me thinking how i always struggled to fit in and how weird i was as a kid lol; im surprised people stuck around me at all, maybe my art is tainted with some weirdness that i cannot sense? the same way you can't smell your own body odor... much to think about

[marcfrenchie]

Jack wbn and moon knight system for ask meme

Sexuality Headcanon:

jack: gay as hell. he likes men

moon knight: jakes bisexual with a heavy prefrence for men, marcs heterosexual, stevens aromantic and pansexual

Gender Headcanon:

jack: cis :( but his gender is also heacily informed by being a gay autistic man whos also Not Human. puts no effort into outward appearance he has other shit to worry about but tends towards masc presentation

mk: theyre all trans men!! marc, being the one who identifies with the body the most, is the only one who like has a deadname and stuff, but they all call themselves trans. mostly masc presentation-wise but i can see jake doing drag for a halloween costume. that typa guy

A ship I have with said character:

jack: holds jake lockley/jack russell gently i love them,,,

mk: see above but heres a rating of every canon marc spector ship because i dont have anything specific

- marcmarlene: nightmare toxic mess but i do get sad about them sometimes

- marctigra: sweet but tbh more interesting platonically. i am not immune to sun/moon ships

- marcfrenchie: nightmare toxic mess x2 its gay and unrequited and not toxic because theres abuse happening theyre just kinda awful. i am so mentally ill about them. i told you time and time again that i loved you,,,

A BROTP I have with said character:

jack: i like him and elsa bloodstone a lot :) gay people gossiping in the back of the midnight suns meeting. mlm wlw solidarity

mk: theyre besties with wade wilson im right. mentally ill immortal mercenaries :). their friendship is mostly sparring because theyre both violence addicted weirdos

A NOTP I have with said character:

jack: jelsa in a romantic way thats a gay man and a lesbian

mk: ive seen people shipping them with badr and i think those people deserve to die those are siblings!!! it tends to be a shitpost but i have seen people shipping marc and konshu and uhhh He Calls Marc His Son Dude. people who think marcmarlene is healthy

A random headcanon:

jack: allergic to a crap ton of things because of the werewolfisms (pretty much everything a dog cant eat). really into old romanian b-horror. watches far too much x files.

mk: okayyy uhhh. marc still regularly eats mres because hes mentally ill. they have curly hair. they still keep kosher. they have tattoos!! marc got their first one back in his teenage rebellion phase and the collection has grown since then (he knows full well that his dad would scold him for having them (from my understanding tattoos are generally frowned apon in judaism) but the 48 year old man can indulge in some petty rebellion. as a treat)

General Opinion over said character:

jack is my bestest friend and my fun uncle and i want to study moon knight under a microscope and force them to communicate better

[jackpilcrow]

[AF2024] DUEL 1

"LET'S ROCK 632146+K,P Shaking up this bit a little lol.  Probably the most effort I put so far in these shitpost-y first attacks. Ended up going into Guilty Gear Strive to grab a screenshot of Potemkins stage with the UI and everything. Still had to edit the hell out out of it to remove the characters, which I had to get another batch of screenshots with Zato using his silly ass ground move to get the most empty screen possible, and even after all of that there was a lot of color correcting and other editing just so it could look passable. So yeah this was a lot of effort for the equivalent to a shitpost lol. Special Thanks to Spriters Resource for the singular Portrait circle, didn't have a entire UI and health bar and stuff, but at least had one thing to ease up making this bit." - https://artfight.net/attack/5921622.duel-1 Post-Artfight Note: I always start artfight every year by making a silly Guilty Gear thing for my friend @solminol ,  and this year I just escalated it into a fullblown piece lol. Slayer was very recently released on Strive and I thought it would be fun to draw her main with my own. Bear in mind I don't do too much of art in this style during artfight (I focus entirely on blender stuff, be it 3D modeling or grease pencil) but it's always fun to just do this every year.

[proboblynotstriaght]

Part 2 of my episode 40 screenshots! Despite Andy not being in this episode Torbek has been mentioned a lot.

speaking of which...

spoilers for episode 40 under the cut

Nikkie : You walk back into the room and Torbek is sitting on the pot *Immediate regret followed by everyone making toilet jokes*

This lasted a full minute

"That wasn't a funny joke" *insert in character laugh here*

"Would you do it for a Torbek snack?" they can't go a single episode without a childhood show reference lmao

Nikkie : Torbek is also allergic to cheezit's he knows because everytime he eats a full box he can't shit for a week, that's how I found out

Derek in Torbek voise : oh, Torbek should have also not eaten all those marshmallows

"I mean based on how much this smells like a Dutch oven I think they've been roughed up enough"

"Frost you better be takin' notes" "I got my brain" "I'm taking brain notes" gosh is heart beat sound is really realistic

"Torbek, stop your first pumping and lets get out of here" "How long have you been doing that?" "Torbek doesn't keep track"

"Torbek is getting mixed messages" poor Derek just took a big sip of his drink and now he's playing try not to laugh

"Everybody else passes Rich, you fail, 24 was the failed number"

"Dirty natural dot com"

Derek is legitimately looking it up LMAO

We gotta full minute and a half of Gideon trying to teach Twig how to type a rope

"No I was thinking, 'Oh shitterwiz'"

Link to part one here! Hope you all enjoyed, I don't know if I'm going to take as many screenshots of episode 41

Hope You enjoyed!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760417191584759808/i-put-far-too-much-effort-into-my-shitposting-and?source=share

[yewphoric]

OC Overview: Jenais Oesis (he/him)

[Image Description: A digital drawing of a high elf seen from the shoulders up. He has a disheveled appearance, with messy, shoulder-length blonde hair. His eyes are orange with pale yellow sclera and dark eye bags. He is wearing a black robe with a frilled red collar. He is looking towards the left, and he looks tired and annoyed. End ID]

It's high time I introduce my favorite OC to everyone, and properly!

This is Jenais Oesis, an Altmer necromancer living in Skyrim in the time of the Last Dragonborn.

Under the cut is a basic overview of his backstory and some trivia! I am also tagging this with his OC tag (#jenais oesis), where you can find shitposts I think relate to him and art, as well as any other time I've talked about him on here!

He's an Altmer born in Skyrim (Falkreath specifically), and the first born of his family

His mother hails from the Summerset Isles, she's the daughter of a mid-ranking Thalmor official. His father is a first-generation Skyrimian (is that what you call people from Skyrim??), coming from a small, somewhat insignificant family that fled Summerset in the unstable years following the Oblivion Crisis

Because his mother chose to marry a poor man from Skyrim, even if he was an Altmer, her family disowned her and Jenais has no connections to Summerset

His parents opened up a tailor shop in Falkreath, and Jenais was initially raised with the expectation he'd be taking over that business when his parents got too old

However, Jenais showed an incredible proficiency for magic from a young age

He was good with conjuration especially, having a natural talent for understanding how it worked and how to use it

His parents fostered this, buying him books and staves to practice with and placing upon him high expectations

They were also able to get him into the College of Winterhold, but he had to wait until he was at least 15 as they considered him too young to join quite yet

Jenais just bid his time until then, practicing mainly conjuration but dabbling in the other schools as well

He had been six when his younger and only sibling was born, his sister Aureline (she/he)

Jenais had been a boy with quite an ego over his natural talents and intelligence, but it was Aureline that shattered that. As soon as she was able to understand what magic was, she was amazing at it

Far better than Jenais was, and she was proficient in all schools. She put serious effort and time into studying as well, something Jenais had never done (because he assumed he'd always be better than anyone without studying), and began to excel quickly

His parents also fawned over Aureline much more than him now, buying her things and demanding Jenais give her his magic books so she could study

It seemed like everyone had stopped paying attention to him totally. Unfortunately he had built his ego relying entirely on what other people thought of him, and now he was seeing himself as worthless because he wasn't as talented as his sister

He became withdrawn and moody, and the night after he turned 15, he stole off in the night to make the journey to Winterhold alone, assuming his parents had forgotten

The journey was arduous and he was robbed and attacked multiple times, but he arrived at the College three days later with a singular tome to his name and a broken arm

He passed the entrance exam with flying colors, and after a week or two of showing up his classmates, he felt like himself again and quickly made many friends

(I won't go into it but I changed a LOT about how the College works for my purposes, so basically imagine it as operating more like an actual university)

The most important of friends he made were: M'irr (he/they), a Dagi-raht Khajiit studying conjuration like he was, and Eriod (they/them), a Dunmer/Nord studying restoration and alchemy. M'irr was about his age, and Eriod a little older, acting almost like an older sibling to him

Jenais spent some years there in peace, learning all he could, until eventually Aureline came to study alongside him at the young age of 12

Aureline's presence once again rocked his world in a bad way, as any attention that Jenais once had was now totally focused on his prodigy of a sister

The lack of attention and jealousy was too much, and over the next few years he closed himself off and became bitter and mean to push people away and lost all his friends

Basically instead of being able to fully be happy for his younger sibling he got jealous and petty. He has severe Gifted Kid Syndrome as well and can't handle the idea of not being the smartest and the best, especially without trying, and all of this took a toll on him

Eventually he decided that the only way he could surpass Aureline was to enter a field of magic she never would and that he would be good at: necromancy

The College tolerated necromancy in secret so long as laws surrounding murder and soul-trapping were being followed, but Jenais wanted to go all the way

So, over the course of around 4-6 months, he murdered a total of five students for his experiments

Over that time, M'irr began to suspect him of being the one responsible and was working with the masters and the Arch-Mage to investigate

His other ex-friend Eriod had also been suspected, because there were rumors with decent evidence that they were a vampire

After the 3rd victim, Eriod confided in a small group of friends that they were a vampire, but not responsible for the killings

Unfortunately Jenais had lost almost all of his morals at that point, and his 4th kill was to frame Eriod. They were forced to flee and go into hiding following this

And his 5th victim was M'irr, only out of panic because M'irr had caught him at last

He was arrested very publicly and Aureline turned his back on him

After Jenais' arrest he felt genuine remorse for all he'd done, but it was short-lived because knowing he now had nobody in his life that cared for him allowed him to embrace his new path

He eventually broke out of prison and set up camp in some crypt, feverishly studying necromancy day and night for years to become the best he could

His ultimate goal was lichdom, and possibly taking revenge on everyone he felt wronged him

In 4E 201 he crossed paths with Ragnar, the Dragonborn, and after being forced to work together despite conflicting morals, goals, and personalities, they would eventually become extremely close friends

Ragnar pretty much became the only person Jenais cared about, and after his death, Jenais continued his path to lichdom in order to protect Ragnar's remains forever, as a way to show his dedication to him

SORRY HOW LONG THIS GOT and sorry the end got really vague as compared to his early years, I've thought a LOT about his early years and not as much about what he's up to in 4E 201. He is also my most developed OC ever so there's a lot of stuff early on I left out but is less important

I will be updating this with more detailed information as I think of it! aaand as a final thing I'll list a bit of fun trivia:

He is trans, aro, and gay! His aromantic identity is very important to him (and me <3)

At first his rancid personality was an act, but he faked it so hard he made it and it became what he was genuinely like. How Ragnar had the patience to befriend him is beyond me

His favorite foods are seared slaughterfish and mammoth steak, but he's terrible at cooking

His hair would look very nice if he put any effort into his appearance whatsoever. He'd probably be rather handsome but he spends too much time necromancing to care about appearances anymore

Lastly, he struggles with his conscience all the time. He's a very complex character I've put a lot of thought into and it's hard to explain it here concisely, but though he is undoubtedly evil, he's not fully without morals. He often feels extremely guilty for his past actions, but manages to ignore it and convince himself he's in the right every time

[paper-mario-wiki]

FUN POSTING TRICK FROM A PERSON WHO WAS A PROFESSIONAL CONTENT CREATOR FOR YEARS:

if you feel good enough about an idea you want to convey to someone (this can be either a shitpost you want to take off, or an advertisement for a stream, or a plug for merch, or a bump for a fundraiser, just ANY IDEA that you want someone to take into their head), do it in one post.

people are far less likely to engage with something (on twitter, at least, and similar platforms which aren't geared towards collaborative posting like Tumblr is) if it's linked to a "click here to expand thread". the content streams on those websites require you to put minimal effort possible to stay there, which means you can do most of the engagement with a single thumb in one position. there are two consequences that this marketing decision bares:

because the first intention of the algorithm is to bait the brain into beginning down the stream of content (see: "for you page", "your dashboard", and "your subscriptions"), they want to put something that is immediately effortless and rewarding to engage with. in the space of social media, this means the things that everyone's talking about. the conversation you'll be part of today, the video everyone's giving their take on, etc. it relaxes the brain into routine.

because the second intention of the algorithm is to keep the brain in a state of hypnosis, the social media feed fits perfectly into the mundane moments where you're walking down the street, or on the bus, or in the awkward few hours between work/school and bed. in this state, the brain will be discouraged from breaking away from an established routine, and depending on how little attention someone might actually be paying, i conject a mental bias forms against actions that might break a comfortable scrolling tempo.

the result of these two things is that people aren't gonna "care enough" to engage further with something that would, say, take them to another page, or open some pop-up, or require them to open a link. in reality, many people probably would care about your post if they instantly fully understood everything you wanted to convey (which leads to that sweet nectar of engagement), so by splitting it up you are lowering possible feedback and could be the difference between the life and death of a post.

reason this is relevant to this post:

i spent 10 minutes fine tuning the first draft of the idea until i was fully and cleanly able to convey exactly what i meant perfectly within twitter's character limit because i cared so much that people knew what i thought about aaron carter's performance in Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, so i put in the effort to maximize the feedback i got.

because i do. i do care that people know that i think this. i want them to think about it too. and now you will. because i wrote all of this.

weakest performance in Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is Aaron Carter. he had one small feat before dying to the batmobile.

being able to jump shaq is impressive, but he did get surprise advantage [he comes, quote; "out of the blue", e.g. by surprise, or guerilla warfare].

[glowinggator]

Cuddles - All Turtles

Request: Hi I really like you writes! keep up the good work, I was wondering if you could do a rottmnt cuddle Imagines? If that's fine?

Pairing: All Turtles! (Non-Poly) 

Content: Fluffy as FUCK. Brush your teeth after you read this, cause it’s sweet as hell. 

Raphael: 

He loves to cuddle! But...he’s nervous. He doesn’t want to prick you with one of his spikes, or...worse. With his brothers, it’s different! They’ve got hard shells and plastrons, but you’re so... squishy! What if he hurts you? 

He gets so happy about casual touch. Putting you on his shoulders? Throwing his arm around your shoulders? Affectionate hair ruffle? He’s the physical embodiment of :) 

If you want full cuddles, though, you’re gonna have to be the one to initiate it the first few times. He’s just too nervous, otherwise. 

Rest your head on his plastron when you’re watching a movie and he’ll melt. 

Seeing how your arms maneuver around his spikes to embrace him, how gingerly you hold him...Maybe it’s possible. Maybe you two can cuddle without getting any boo boos.

He can’t really lay on his back because of his spikes. He’ll either get stuck that way when his spikes inevitably get embedded into the material, or he’ll shred up whatever he’s laying on.

(He’s banned from the beanbag chairs.)

He wants to be the little spoon so bad, but it’s physically impossible. He’s forever bound to big spoon duty. He’s okay with that, though. 

(One time you showed up wrapped in mattress foam and bubble wrap to try and be the big spoon. It's a very fond memory, even if you were padded too stiffly to actually hold him.) 

He likes to rest his head in your lap. Run your nails along his head or shell and he’ll be asleep in no time.

He won’t lay on your stomach or chest though. He really wants to, but he’s afraid he’ll crush you. There’s no debate with that topic, unfortunately. 

He’s such a good big spoon!! He’s so strong, and he cradles you like you’re the entire world. Because you are! 

He likes to rest one hand on your stomach and tangle his other hand with yours. It’s so cool to look down and see how his spikes cradle you. Almost as though you were a treasure encased in barbed wire, protected from the outside world. 

You always feel so safe when you cuddle. I mean, it’s hard not to when you’re cocooned in 1000lbs of muscle and spikes!

His hold is firm, but noticeably gentle. 

He runs pretty warm, compared to the rest of the turtles. Great in the winter time, not so great in the summer.  

He traces little doodles on the back of your hand. You can never tell what they are, though. And he won’t tell you what they are, if you ask.  

(They’re dogs.) 

He’s not coldblooded, due to the way he was mutated. As such, he doesn’t really have any issues regulating his body temperature. He does find himself seeking out heat sources, however! Donnie calls it a vestigial response. Raph absolutely does not care about no scientific names or explanations: he just knows that he likes to sit under the heat lamp in the morning.

Prepare to be his next heat lamp. 

If you come over in the mornings, prepare to be greeted with a very sleepy Raph the instant your feet hit the lair concrete.

He’s never on his phone when you cuddle.

He is a talker, though. He doesn’t quite whisper, but he definitely invokes the gentle voice. 

He falls asleep very quickly if he doesn’t keep himself talking. Your presence is just so calming to him, he can’t help it! 

He’s a very deep breather, and it’s really calming to listen to!

Unfortunately, he starts to snore about 15 minutes after he falls asleep. And he’s loud. 

You’ll get used to it, eventually. 

Donatello

He doesn’t sleep consistently, so full cuddle sessions are far and few between.

He read that fake rumor that Albert Einstein only slept for five hours a year: while it’s since been debunked, it’s stuck with him. He started training himself when he was little to power nap instead, and now it’s hard for him to get out of the habit.  

But..you’re a good motivator.

He’s a little nervous around the concept of cuddling, at first. He’s very touch-starved, and once you warm him up to the idea, it’ll be hard to pull him off you! But he’s incredibly nervous about it at first.

It’s...intimate, you know? He’s vulnerable, and that freaks him out.

His shell is super sensitive. Partially because it’s soft, but wearing his battle shell all the time has removed a lot of stimuli that would have made it less sensitive.

He reflexively rolls his shoulders when you run your hands along his exposed shell. At least, for the first few times. If you do it enough, it’ll quickly become a way for him to relax.

Likes to pull you to his chest and hold you like that. He usually has your head under his chin so he can scroll through his phone while you cuddle. He doesn’t move his arms much though, so it’s okay.

(He also likes it when you’re facing him so he can steal glances at you once you fall asleep. He thinks you’re even prettier when you’re completely relaxed.)

You’ll rarely see it for yourself, but his eyes get all soft while you’re cuddling together. The quietest, calmest smile graces his features when you’re in his arms.

However, you do notice how all the tension fades from his body, and how his breathing seems to slow down.

He’ll run his free hand along your back every now and then, pressing a quiet kiss to the top of your head.

He runs fairly cold, which is awesome in the summertime. He always lets you borrow his hoodies when you cuddle. If you ask nicely, he’ll let you keep ‘em, just so long as he has one or two in the closet.

His bed has super soft blankets, and they’re so nice to curl up in. You’ll probably stay there for a little while after he gets up, honestly.

He’s not a talker, surprisingly. Every now and then he’ll pull his arm back to show you some meme on his phone, but that’s about it. He’ll listen to you though! He actually really likes it when you mutter about whatever's on your mind while you cuddle.

King of “Uh huh,” “Wow,” “Mmhm,” and “Damn that’s crazy.”

He really is listening, though. He just likes to tease you a little bit.

His grip is either iron-tight or loose as hell.

On bad days he’ll curl up as the little spoon, and not even the gods could convince him to let go of you.

It takes him a while to warm up to the idea of being a little spoon. Both because his shell is hyper-sensitive, but it also kind of erodes that “bad boy” persona he’s got going on.

Once he’s more comfortable with it, he’s about 50/50 on it. He’s more likely to indulge himself on bad days, but it honestly just depends on his mood.

If you pull him away from work, you can bet that he’ll pull you to his chest while he’s sitting on the bed. He’ll lean forward to rest his chin on your shoulder as he explains his latest breakthrough. He shakes a little bit when he’s excited, and you can feel it as he holds you.  

He panics a little bit when he’s on his back, but he really likes it when you lay on his plastron, so...Chair cuddles!

He likes to have you in his lap while he works.

He also likes to kick his legs up onto your lap when watching TV. If you guys have the couch to yourselves, he’ll also lay all the way on your lap. If anyone sees you guys, or if anyone comments on it he’ll just hit ‘em with a very snarky quip.

“Okay, and? At least I actually have a partner :)”

You don’t know how he said “:)” outloud.

Leonardo 

He thinks he’s so smooth, but honestly? He’s such a dork.

He’s huge on touch. But cuddling? It’s a whole ‘nother ball game. He loves it a lot, but...he’s so vulnerable! It’s so intimate to him. He’s not adverse to it in the slightest; in fact, it’s the exact opposite! He’s super excited when the topic comes up.

You can tell that the idea of fully cuddling affects him more than he lets on, because he won’t stop talking when you bring up the subject for the first time. He rambles when he’s nervous.

(He talks with his hands a lot, and it’s really cute how he rambles and rubs the back of his neck.)

He’s actually a great cuddler, though.

Big spoon? Hell yeah. Little spoon? Awesome. Horrific entanglement of limbs that would put eldritch horrors to shame? Sweet! He’s just happy to be close to you.

He can go 50/50 on having his phone with him. If he does, he’s usually either watching memes with you or playing a mobile game.

(Kind of unrelated, but he was very excited about that weird, Subway Surfers revival that happened earlier this year. It was all he played for a while, and now you have the tune lodged in your brain forever.)

He’ll talk for a little while if he doesn’t have his phone, before you settle into a comfortable silence.

He’s either ranting about something shitty that happened that day, or shitposting. There’s no inbetween.

“If I shot someone from Texas while I was on the moon, would that fall under Texas’ jurisdiction or the moon’s?”

He also likes to trace little patterns on your hands, if he has access to them that day! You can usually tell what they are. Other times, it just seems like he’s finding an excuse to hold your hand. It’s really cute.

(If you ask him what he’s drawing, he’ll say he’s reading your palms before dropping a sweet little line about how he’s in your future.)

(He does NOT know how to read palms but it’s the thought that counts <3)

Not ashamed about cuddling in public. Hell, if you’re fine with it, he’s more than happy to cuddle during movie night. In fact, it’s kind of a source of pride for him!

He looks so cocky about it that Donatello has to make a physical effort to NOT hit him.

Please run your palms over his shell, he’ll melt.

If he’s the big spoon, squeeze his biceps. He might not say it out loud, but he’s melting internally. It sticks in his head for at least a few weeks afterwards. Ego Boost 100

If you’re ticklish, prepare yourself for tickles. He strikes without a pattern, and without warning. He doesn’t always do it, though. Maybe about one in ten times. He just likes to hear you laugh :)

He’s very nice to cuddle with overall. He’s the best cuddler in the lair, hands down.

Michelangelo

Literally the only one in the lair who isn’t embarrassed when you bring up the topic.

He’s been WAITING for this moment, actually.

Doesn’t care about whether he’s the big or little spoon.

He’s super talkative when he cuddles, it’s cute. He usually likes to spend this time talking about one another’s day. He’s a great listener too!

He’s always 100% engaged in what you have to say.

He has trouble settling down outside of his normal schedule, so it’s rare that he’ll fall asleep while cuddling.

If you’re in a position that gives his arms a lot of mobility, he’ll draw on you. Not just tracing patterns, but he’ll actually bring out his markers and draw on your arms, back, or just any exposed piece of skin.

He always manages to find the prettiest colors to compliment your skin tone. You never want to wash it off, honestly.

He HAS to keep himself busy with something, or else he’ll explode. At least, that’s how he describes it. If you try and get him to lay down and fall asleep...well, he’ll try! But he’ll be squirming the whole time.

It’s best to throw on a Jupiter Jim movie if you want him to stay still.

He likes to tangle his legs with yours while you cuddle. Whether he’s taller or shorter than you, he WILL find a way.

He’s the lightest out of all the turtles, so there’s a possibility of letting him (partially) lay on you without shattering your sternum! Congratulations!

(He’s around 525 lbs. He’s only half of what Raph weighs, but he still has to be careful about how he lays on you. It’s crazy to think that you’re so small compared to him.)

His hands are so cold, and he’ll absolutely use that to his advantage. If he gets bored, or if he just wants to make you laugh, he’ll grab your waist with his cold fucking hands. Hope you’re a northerner <3

He also likes to tickle you, way more than Leo.

Don’t try and tickle him though, he HATES it. He’s absolutely the type of person to just Scream if you try.

Like I said, he gets bored really quickly. He also just likes to make you laugh.

If you’re cuddling in bed though, like right before he falls asleep? It’s so nice.

He’ll still tangle his legs with yours, but he moves so much slower. He loves to let his hands lazily roam across your form as he pulls you closer to him, savoring the comfort and heat that you bring. If he talks, it’s in drowsy whispers that only you two can hear.