#theres some other shit but i didnt even look further into that

[cringefail-clown]

what are they fighting about this time?

ehh d*rkr*xy discourse from what ive seen. like i dont vibe with this ship at all, but you can just block or ignore it instead of bullying the artist into going private like calm down lmfao it aint that serious

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.

[rouge-fauna]

I rewatched some old vods and I don't think their friendship was fake. theres enough evidence to show that tommy looked up to dream and wasnt doing all it for clout though I'm referring to 2020-2021. In 2022, people said that tommy wanted to meet dream but based on tweets I've noticed ,it seems like he only wanted to meet him for the sake of content and once he wasnt doing vlogs anymore, he suddenly didnt want to meet dream anymore. Theres also a ton of moments where tommy defends dream in 2022-2023, but its really hard to tell if its genuine and from his own thoughts or if he is making fun of dream stans who say it. I noticed he put dream on a very high pedastal and he complimented dreams youtube videos a lot and compliments dreams advice to him but he rarely ever compliments dream as a person which contrasts how he spoke about his other friends. I think their dynamic was very complicated since like every person tommy liked would always get into problems with dream like bitzel, harry, jack, and tommy had a problem with people leaving him on read and dream struggled with responding to people which complicated things further I'm guessing.

Though I go by what Dream said. They were close in 2020-2021 until Tommy made that grooming joke about him then Dream distanced from him. They were friends on a content creator level after that like dream a while back hinted at how no one turned on him and that everyone he was close with a year ago (2022) he is close with now and mentions creator friendships. And then 2023 they were on good terms for the start of it. If tommy genuinely saw dream as a friend, he must have no idea how that works because from what I've noticed, he prioritized content creation and fan praise over friendship which is horrible. Tommy in his podcast referred to him and dream in the past as close while simultaneously insulting him and viewing everything he did as negative, that was weird to me.

People can be very good at lying… I mean I’m not saying Tommy was but it also wouldn’t surprise me. Sure it looked real in 2020-2021 but that don’t really mean it was… I mean Tommy was kind erotic at that time sometimes treating even Tubbo like shit so it’s hard to say. Not that I’m trying to say your observation skills are bad, but that if we are assuming the absolute worst of Tommy and assuming he’s a manipulator who maybe even lacks much empathy then, it could be fair to say he’s a good actor and liar.

As far as 2022-2023 goes I think the reasoning Dream is currently thinking about is that he was staying loyal for the sake of the USMP. I didn’t think about his friends having issues with Dream that is an interesting point… Dream leaving people unread? Oof how adhd of him XD lol, too relatable. But also all my friends do the same to me sooo I can considerate with the other side, it is frustrating (what I get for having like majority of friends with adhd lol)… yeah I have noticed that Dream will compliment Tommy as a person and say he’s funny and stuff but Tommy doesn’t really do that for Dream, course I just figured that was a personality and he didn’t do it in general but hearing that he does for his other friends is definitely interesting…

I didn’t get pick up that the grooming joke in 2020-2021 was the start of Dream distancing himself. I thought they were using it as an example of an instance where Dream sense too long of text message that came across as aggressive and upsetting for Tommy? And that because Tommy made jokes like it even before the allegations it made it okay or at least made sense why he’d continue to do so or something. Maybe I’m wrong. The finale was in what? November so they were friends up until the end of 2023, maybe not as close because they weren’t streaming together all the time anymore but still friends at least from Dream’s perspective…

“If tommy genuinely saw dream as a friend, he must have no idea how that works because from what I've noticed, he prioritized content creation and fan praise over friendship which is horrible. Tommy in his podcast referred to him and dream in the past as close while simultaneously insulting him and viewing everything he did as negative, that was weird to me.” I think you are on the money here, it’s my thoughts exactly. If Tommy and Dream were really friends this is a not how you treat him and it is weird to talk about how close you were but also claiming he manipulated and abused you or whatever. Like which is it? Were you close friends? Or did he manipulate you and hurt you from the start? Which is it’s all the times you’ve talked positively over the years about Dream or recently shit talking him? I mean yea as Tubbo says you can change your mind about someone but this is different because Tommy isn’t saying he’s stopped being Dream’s friend because of a recent thing he’s done but if past things which doesn’t make sense. As someone said recently - how can Dream manipulate and abuse you and stuff when you’ve never met in person. Just hang up the phone and stop talking to him. If he was so horrible and you continued to be his friend that’s because you were using him…

[pumpkinsy0]

Sad Ponyboy hcs…?

head up king,,,cmon,,,

•IMMM TELLING U GUYS, pony never actually fully grieved his parents, even by the end of the book!!!he wasnt very close to them so he just thought he couldnt rlly mourned them, but its just bc it hasnt fully set in yet, he doesnt completely understand how it would mess up his WHOLE life and hes been dealing w sm his mind is just not focused on that

•as he grows up, he listens to darry and sodas stories they had w them and he trues to imagine himself in their shoes, as a way to feel closer to em, hes more jealous of darry tho bc hes technically the only one whos actually spent alone time w them the most, would nevvveeerrrr tell that to darry however, doesnt wanna make him feel shitty

•part of the reason Y pony defends his name is bc its like one of the only things he got from his parents thats rlly JUST for him

•years later, after that whole fiasco w bob, while yes, majority of ppl were on ponys side, some socs just stood 10 toes down further for “protecting each other” and just get even more classist, they target pony sometimes, but they dont jump him, they know theyd get shit for it

•during the court hearing, they used evidence like johnnys coat bc it still had a lot blood on it, both johnny and bobs and pony was honestly struggling to keep it together bc he truly never noticed it, his mind just chose not to in order to protect himself

•bobs parents wanted johnny to go to jail, but he ofc died, so next thing they went for was pony to b taken away from his home “if our son was taken away, he should b too” typa thing

•cherry wasnt ever rlly gonna talk to pony after this and she knows she might b seen as so stuck up for it, but bobs parents wouldnt even talk to her after the court hearing bc she defended pony, so she didnt wanna see pony at all, pony thinks she kinda hates him a bit for it

•ik theres fics where like, pony keeps bleaching his hair for johnny??? or something like that???but imma b frank, i think he hated being blond!!! he couldnt look at the mirror and see himself for a LONGGGGG time, all he saw was who he was THAT week, he couldnt look in the mirror for quite a while when he got back

•nobody ever rlly talks about how pony in a way lost his dream of going to the country side and living a quiet life!!! while yes, hes still gonna b successful from that long ass menglish paper turned book and his dream wasnt “lost” exactly, maybe just changed, its not rlly gonna b the way he wanted originally and sometimes he just thinks about the “what if i did live that life”, he mourns it a lil in his adulthood but glad for the opportunities hes gotten

•verrryyy rarely pony wonders what it would b like to b an only child born to different parents, nothing against being related to soda and darry, sometimes hes just sick of ppl rlly only knowing about him from other ppl!! he thinks its a lil pathetic that technically most of his life has been built by ppl who hes just associated w and not just what hes done all alone, even w that english paper while it was his escape from that, to a degree he thinks wasnt rlly his story he was telling

[exhokai]

heyy if u write for the group iluna from nijisanji en, may i request an dom!aster x gn!reader where the reader is touch starved but aster is streaming so they ends up wearing smth (u can decide) and barges into asters streaming room and sits on his lap and tries to distract him while hes playing some sort of fps game or league and it makes him stop focusing?

AHAHAHA ASTER ARCADIA HEHEHEH

didnt have a photo sorry bookie

this was more of a switchy aster sorry

switch!aster (sub to top), slight grinding, facefucking, deepthroat, nearly getting caught, cum swallowing, enna breaking the 4th walk

a/n: it took me SO so long to work on this im SO sorry

————————————————————————

oh aster dearest aster. aster was playing his silly little games (i didnt know what to put) and actually playing with kyo, enna, and fulgur. well- more like kyo was listening and the others were playing BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT

he was chillin vibing fuckin (hehe fuckin) around when you pop into his room. unnoticed. and wearing his sweater. no pants. just underwear. ya nasty- (gets bonked)

you waddle up to his chair and lay your head on his shoulder. he notices you and gives you a little ‘hello’ expression than whispers ‘im busy’. but you dear reader. dont give a shit. you slide down and get under his arm to than slide onto his lap. hes suprised (FLABBAGASTED) as 1.) you’re wearing his sweater. with only some underwear. thats all 2.) you put your arms around his neck to sit fully on his crotch. moving (purposefully may i add) to get more comfortable. he whispers a hurried “what are you doing?!”

kyo heard it. and so did enna. “yo aster you good?” kyo asked (MY LOVE UHHHGHHHHHVHHGGGG) “o-oh im fine” “are you sure my guy you sound a bit off” goddamnit enna. now your gonna make the narrator haunt you with what aster and the reader are doing-

wait. thats my job hehehe- anyways. fulgur takes notice and says “cmon aster even if theres a cute cat climbing in front of you, we need to win. cmon”

yeah. cat. sure. he looks at you. frustration and anger since he could loose his job. but that doesnt matter that you got food on yo table now does it 🤨. you start moving your hips side to side. slowly. slowly enough so its agonizing for aster. he grips you with one hand. signaling to stop. you dont. you kiss his neck moving down so you slide off his lap. he looks down and gives you a warning look to stop as you pull down his sweats

you pull his dick out of his boxers, fascinated even though you’ve sucked his dick before. you instantly put the head in your mouth as he gasps. you can hear the faint sound of fulgur laughing. “AHAHAHA MY BOY ASTER YOU OKAY?” he starts to speak so you suck on the head hard so it comes more as a strangled “i-im okay!!” hes ashamed as you everyone laughs at him. even chat. “you getting your dick sucked my guy” enna asks. you laugh slightly as you move your head down further on his dick “n-no!! just-“ he cuts himself off as he looks at the chat. sudden anger fills him as one of his hands is taken off of the keyboard and grabs your hair to shove you down his dick. a sound of surprise leaving you

“im fine” he says with sudden composure. he has one hand on the keyboard and one on your head loosing focus yet still playing while you gag so hard on his dick. he moves your head a bit and starts thrusting. quickly and hard as you make gagging noises, surprised at this sudden switch of energy in aster

he gives you a look of “dont move” as he shoves you to the base of his cock. tears well up in your eyes from the suddenness of his thrusting. you grip his thighs so your hands aren’t awkwardly sitting there in your lap. his abuse to your throat is painful yet if feels like your head is reeling from it.

“yo aster what the fuck why are you lacking so much” enna asks. he mutters out a sorry as he lets his hand off your hair and back to the game, letting your head fly around a bit without support.

a few minutes go buy. your throat is sore and his hand is back in your hair. and hes close. he looks down at you, and everyone saw it, his chat starts flying

“HELP IS HE GETTING HIS DICK SUCKED”

“ayo aster why you lookin down like that”

“my guy just looked at his crotch oh nahh 💀”

he panics and makes an excuse “sorry guys i felt something fall. lemme get it” he leans down completely as he pushes his chair back and gets on his hands and knees, still facefucking you. “in close. and you better take it. all”. you oblige. you start crying from the insane speed he has with his hips. god was he always like this? he starts whispering ‘im close im close’ till he presses your face against him. making you take his cum down your throat. he pulls out once hes finished

“dont do that again or it will be worse”

(and enna thinks to herself when she wakes up why she had to open her mouth during that collab. as the haunting image of her coworker fucking someones mouth stays branded because of me lmao)

[petrigrofyuri]

sorry for not posting about fionna and cake, new life series has me in a chokehold

I havent watched everyones POV yet as im a lazy fuck BUT i do have more stuff from people on Tumblr and im gonna post that + some stuff i also noticed (and other people noticed) here, sadly i wont be able to credit anyone for the thoughts and rambles BUT i will gladly state that not all of these i noticed, and that other people pointed them out beforehand, i just needa write this shit down somewhere

OK so, first of all most obvious thing of literally everything, the very blatantly similar EVO symbol on the secret keepers face, sure its flipped and the broken off corners are further away, but it's definitley resembling the EVO symbol in several ways. ALSO in the intro with when you get hearts taken away, the similar symbol gets red particles over it, and as someone else pointed out, watchers feeding on negative energy, as when you complete a task, nothing changes on the statue.

BigBs task was also different to everyone elses, with his being a red colour rather than the pale off-white colour (idk colours), also, as another person pointed out, BigBs task was very vague and more than one sentence long with 'make it your base if you want' at the end of it. I haven't seen BigBs POV yet but also he decided to keep acting suspicious even after completing his task, even when his task didnt revolve around that, which could be either him just deciding to do that, or something to do with his task being red coloured.

Also something i noticed and many others noticed to, the sky darkening whenever you approach the secret keeper, this could just be done for it to cast an imposing presence over people, however the sky darkens to a dark purple colour, and at some point its shown as light purple (i wasnt paying attention so it could be due to the time of minecraft day for the darkess of the sky), a colour commonly used for the watchers is a light purple colour. It's probably just a coincidence but im putting it here anyway.

Theres also Jimmy pointing out that the symbol looks familiar, and Grian saying that theres an end possibility on this seed, which if you've watched EVO you'd probably know what i'm thinking here, i have no idea how to put it into words but I hope you understand (hopefully if you dont someone else will be able to explain it).

Also as another tumblr user pointed out, BigBs task might not be a coincidence with the line 'make it your base if you want', as it could be somehow linked to the 'possible end portal' the seed has, perhaps its above or near it, and that is why the task suggests to make it his base, if he wants.

Also Grian saying that the rules are just suggestions, and changing them for Scar is quite reminiscent of EVO, with him not following the rules, when will he learn. Also Grian stating to 'let evolution take its course', he knows what he's doing, he knows.

anyways thats about it, i'll probably post more when new sessions come out (so like next friday), credits to everyone who came up with the theories and also very big respect to all of you you all have massive brains.

[geddy-leesbian]

I really do feel like I can go conspiracy about porphyria brain because so much "information" about it is just 100% factually incorrect

^ like. Skin blisters are a symptom of CHRONIC porphyrias. Because it's a whole ass family of diseases. The ACUTE porphyrias do NOT affect the skin!! They're incredibly different diseases, like the only thing in common is that symptoms are caused by porphyrins, everything else is wildly different.

And yet so many ArTiClEs conflate them. So yeah idk I'm automatically incredibly skeptical of porphyria information in the first place, so ofc i find it odd that there's now websites for acute intermittent porphyria drugs talking about how important the treatment is to prevent permanent damage, and now most other sites list all that permanent damage shit. I know i sound kinda crazy here, but i don't even think this is a case of intentional malice necessarily. I mean MAYBE it could be i guess, manufacturers influencing websites to make ppl more likely to think they need the treatments, but honestly my main theory is just that other sites ripped from the drug websites like they rip other widely circulated porphyria misinformation because it's so rare that there's almost no one calling it out

Like the whole porphyria historically being associated with vampires thing and it causing King George's (iirc) madness are also 100% completely made up and still get endlessly regurgitated as fact :/

And like ive said literally every woman on my mom's side of the family has had AIP attacks and no one has had permanent damage from it. Even my sister's kidney thing that was only partially related completely went away. I know anecdotal evidence aint it sometimes, but this is a disease where you look up the safety of a drug and see that 3 people with aip took it and didn't have problems and it's therefore considered a safe drug bc the disease is so fucking rare that a sample size of 3 is pretty good because there jusr aren't enough ppl with the disease to get a larger sample size (it's also hard bc you cant just have ppl who have aip and have taken a drug and been fine. bc drugs can be completely safe for ppl when asymptomatic and not trigger attacks, but become unsafe once smth else triggers an attack and make it worse)

so in conclusion im not going to stress myself out further dooming about how this muscle/nervous system stuff could last forever bc i just don't believe that's the case. Im normally pretty strongly trust doctors, but so many doctors have tried to give my sister and mom incorrect treatments for AIP, not believed when my sister would say she had it, refuse to even test for it. So this is the one area where i absolutely do believe i know more than doctors. And tbf some doctors would agree. My mom once saw a hematologist for smth unrelated but mentioned the porphyria and he immediately said that she would have to go somewhere else for anything related to that because she was the first person in his MANY DECADES long career with aip and that he didn't feel comfortable even attempting to treat it bc she probably knew more about than him, bc his only experience was reading abt it in a textbook once

And like even if it's true theres nothing i could do abt it. My mom would take me to the ER if i asked, but there's no point bc they wouldn't give me the glucose/heme. I mean one of my past attacks i went and said that i was almost certain i was having an acute intermittent porphyria attack, and the doctor was super shitty going like "oh, what makes you think you have that?" and I said family history and she didnt give a shit. Wouldnt order the super simple urine test every single hospital in the country is capable of performing in less than an hour. Just said i had a virus and discharged me saying i was fine. And like i said my mom and sister habe had doctors that believed them when they said they had it but still refused to give them the right meds. In fact my mom's been given meds that are in the UNSAFE category of rhe porphyria drug database, meaning they actively make porphyria attacks worse.

Doctors don't know shit about porphyria, im genuinely better off staying home to ride it out. I'll eat a shit load of foods w lots of carbs/sugar which isnt as good as iv glucose but since getting that prescribed is apparently impossible it's better than nothing, if the pain's really bad i still have oxycodone left over from oral surgery, if i get nausea i have zofran on hand im prescribed for my migraines. Which is most likely exactly what i'd get in the hospital. My mom had an attack only like a month ago and despite her and my brother and my brother's very assertive friend who was also worried and showed up all told the doctor that it was porphyria and she needed iv glucose, and what happened? Doctor said she had food poisoning and she got painkillers and zofran, nothing actually addressing porphyria. So hospital would be giving me stuff i could have just taken here whilr also exposing me to all the bad respiratory junk going around

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em

i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them

speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath

also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me

the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19

so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol

i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile

pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)

im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT

from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery

i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours

speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged

my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters

my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink

apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it

my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird

showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that

my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid

my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol

which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all

i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??

i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over

having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position

the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it

the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho

regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one

u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??

my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig

[pandora-dark-shorts]

Apeshit

Log Entry 237: Cara Costabile, Team Leader Spartan Fireteam Switchback

Lost another one today. Its been a pretty shitty week rounding up the last of the real resistance of the covantant. Down 1 Spartan 3, one 4, 4 Marines and an ODST. This last one hurt more though. Terry. Guy was an idiot, but he was our idiot. Everything was a joke to him. But he would turn serious so quick it could almost make your head spin. And he was a hell of a shot. Better than most Spartans I'll admit. The guy could knock an apple off a tree a click away and you could catch it and eat it. Trust me I know from experience. There was no one I'd rather have watching my back than that Helljumper. The amount of times hes pulled through for us...

He was even the first one to talk to Krel'tarus, our resident Brute, and his clan. Covenant defectors that believed the Arbiter's message. We weren't too happy about being stuck with these guys. But he didnt seem to mind. Hes always the bigger person, no matter what. They really didnt want much to do with him until the day he went over and said "fight me you big ape" in their language. They almost died of laughter. They were instantly friends after that. They started socializing a little more. Mostly with the Helljumpers. I guess they saw themselves more on par with the rank of the odst before the Elite deranking. More in common.

They accompanied us on some of our missions, and we on theres. They would give us hot spots like ammo depots and food storage planets. Eventually we started looking at each other as allies. There was some rough stuff but it all smoothed out eventually. But not like with Terry. He was basically one of them. They did all kinds of shit with each other from Brute games to target practice.

Until yesterday. We were watching a Covy shield and grenade production factory from 3 clicks out on a mountaintop. Ships were in and out all day. Every once in a while a grunt would come out and toss a couple dozen grenades of different types one at a time into a hole and wait for the explosions. Quality control, I guessed.

I gave the orders to move down the backside of the mountain and we trecked to the factory perimeter via jungle. Nothing happened the whole way there. No roaming patrols. No hidden traps on the perimeter. I comm'd Krel and said we were moving in. 2 other Snipers in the group had designated spots up high and Terry was to come in with us and get up on a high overhang the Brutes said would be near the entrance. The mission was to clear the place and wait for another team of Marines to come take over watch for the defected Elites and Grunts to run it. No prisoners.

Everything was shit. There were WAY more than we had anticipated in there. But it was going as planned until the 3 biggest damn Elites I had ever seen jumped down onto the floor. One biggest one went down as soon as he hit it, courtesy of Terry. The other 2 looked directly at him. They sent a flurry of needles at him and he jumped down. But i saw one of them hit him in the stomach. I watched him hit the ground on his side with an audible thump. Then his body jumped to the left a bit. The Brutes all stopped fighting to look at him. A few seconds later the Elites noticed the action and fired another volley. The entire rest of the needler's capacity.

A Brute, I believe his name was Ba'ras, lept further than i had ever seen one go. He basically flew to Terry's body and arched himself over him on his hands and knees facing away from the Elites. He took the whole barrage to his back. The needles pulsed as one and exploded, tearing out his whole back, he slumped forward, making almost a tent for Terry.

Then, the Brutes lost it. They went absolutely apeshit for lack of a better term. Every one of them let out an ear piercing roar, my sound dampening kicked in like a bomb went off. They took off as one. I saw Krel get to the first Elite. He dodged a plasma bolt and grabbed him by the arm. He pushed him down to the ground like he was a little kid. Then he tore his left arm and third mandible off and proceeded to beat him to death with it. He picked him up by his legs and tore him down the middle. The strength that must have took. He used half of that elite like it was a grav hammer. Crushing Grunts and slamming it into other Elites.

The other Brutes where no less a spectacle. Ripping arms, legs, and heads off. Slamming machinery down on everyone they could find. 2 of them picked up a spectre and tossed it. 1 of them struggled and thrashed at a grunt that was hiding behind a very large machine entering another room. He saw the giant metal door and took off back toward us. He shoulder charged it with everything he had. It barely budged. The Grunt taunted him. 2 more Brutes noticed and ran at it with him. 2 trys and the door caved in. I watched as they all beat it into a pile of mush. It was all over the room.

Not to let them have all the action, we join in while our medic went to Terry. Bullets flew, bodies broken. One Brute almost turned on me before he saw who I was. He gave me a giant blood smeared smile as he banged his chest once in salute and ran off with a leg to be someone elses bad day. They were all covered in blood and bodily fluids. There wasnt a single part of the place that didnt have some part of something somewhere.

Then it was done. The Brutes had a hell of a time coming down from the berserk. Marines checks corridors and rooms. Krel remembered Terry and rushed over to him. He jumped damn near a third of the floor. Terry lay on the floor with a large hole in his stomach. He was still alive. Barely. The medic handed Krel his pistol, rifle and ODST patch. "He said to make sure you get these".

Terry coughed several times and managed to sputter out a, "hey you big ape", before coughing again. "You probably couldnt get your big ass fingers into the trigger guard, but you could probably use it as a club. And you could find something to do with the pistol. Maybe make it into a knife".

Krel spoke in a tone of voice that I could only describe as the deepest kind of respect. Peaceful. "You died well, Brother. I can only hope to do the same. My inheritance will find great use". Terry smiled, closed his eyes, and stopped breathing.

"I surrender", a voice yelled to our left. "I surrender to you". It was an Elite. The hide and seek champion of the day. Krel looked at Terry's rifle. He carefully bent the barrel all the way back and held the stock as he hefted it.

He walked toward the Elite and it got on its knees. Krel leaned down and asked, "do you see that human", and pointed to Terry's body.

The Elite looked over to us, and then at Terry. He acknowledged with a click of his mandibles. "The Imp. Yes."

"There was more honor in that human than there was in the entire Covenant fleet." Krel arced and swung the rifle, connecting with the Elites head and liberating it from his body. He walked away as the body dropped to the floor.

A pelican few in overhead and landed outside the factory. Marines came out and walked over to us. They looked on in horror at the scene before them. "I like the decor", a familiar voice said. I turned to see Master

Sergeant Wallace Escobar admiring the mess we made.

"I know what you like", I replied with a hint of malice. "Plant is clear. 1 casualty. It was mostly the Jiralhanae that did the decorating".

He took another look around and said, "Got damn they fucked this place up. Something must have struck a nerve cause this is some next level shit. Is that... is that a grunt over there?"

"It was a grunt", i explained, "It is now the embodiment of navy food. Kinda looks like someone mashed meatloaf with Jello huh? The casualty was the reason this place looks like a ravehouse. We lost Terry."

"Dammit", he said. "Finest sniper I'd ever met. Better than most spartans. And a great man in general. Had many late nights with him and a good bottle of whiskey. Hope he went down swinging."

"He single handedly took down the biggest Sangheilli I had ever seen", Krel said with pride as he walked by with his new club. "They were personal guards of the Prophets at one time. No other human can claim that feat. Not even your Demon. Those were not your general Sangheilli. You should be proud to have had such a warrior among your group."

Escobar stood up taller. An interaction like this wasn't a common occurrence. I honestly dont know if it was an occurrence at all. Let alone a high ranking Brute commending a human soldier like this. Krel walked up into the Pelican with the rest of the Brutes and it took off. Another taking its place.

The marines in it disembarked and we climbed in. Terry's bag was placed in the center and strapped down. It was going to be a long ride home.

[roseychains]

I love how you try and act all mature and intelligent in your writing. Real convincing.

"let’s break up your argument into a few parts, and let me debunk each one

First you say this can get adults in trouble? Simple solution, don’t interact if it’s really going to cause problems."

My dude. You are in a public space. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to follow the rules. Why would you go into a public space and post something your not supposed to and then try to act like if they dont like it they shouldnt even be here. Once again public space. A community you are not welcome/old enough to be in. And you are telling other people that if they dont like it they just shouldnt interact or be here at all? You dont make the fucking rules child. You arent even supposed to be here.

"Next, you say that smut is a adult only space. And that’s only true to some extent. Of course, child pornograhpy is illegal of course, but this isn’t explicit depiction of children or sexualizing them, it’s writing about fictional characters. But as for the legal aspect of it, the problem occurs specifically when adults go out of their way to interact with minors. I, atop all my posts the first content warning in bold is that I am a minor. It’s impossible to miss, I’m not going to get anyone in trouble. It’s not like I’m specifically sharing it with adults either. I put things under smut tags but again, are warned I’m a minor and further, a LOTTT of minors my age (15-17) read smut, and comply with whatever rules the author puts. If they say MDNI, then we don’t interact, it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s. Another legal aspect is roleplaying, which, ew, no."

Ok first of all. Its true to the FULL FUCKING EXTENT. ITS LITERALLY IN THE WORDS. Its smut its fucking sex its nsfw its fucking porn. ITS ONLY FOR ADULTS NO MATTER WHAT WORD YOU PUT IT IN ITS THE SAME DAMNED THING.

Second of all if you understand you can get adults in trouble just by them interacting with you why fucking post at all. Can you prove every other minor on here interacting with you is a minor? Can you prove no adults interact with you? Its not even just about your safety but ours aswell. And you know that. You know that theres the potential that if an adult is found enjoying your content their lives could be ruined. Despite everyone telling you to just wait until you are older, the dangers of grooming, the fact that no one even wants you in this adult oriented space, you just dont care. You think you want something and decide you deserve it because of that. Everyone else be damned.

You do specifically share it with adults. Its a fucking adult space. The majority and the target audience of which is fucking adults. You post it publicly. Also your "smut tags" show up in character tags too idiot.

"zhongli smut" shows up in just "zhongli" because it has his damned name in it.

Again i and every creator out there are well aware of you children reading and consuming our shit. We lurked too. And thats all you should be doing until you are an adult. Also "it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s." Is fucking rich coming from a kid who cant stay out of an adult space and not post adult content when told not to.

"Moreover, there can be potential problems for adults who have anything to do with explicit fan fiction, but again, that’s why it’s a warning. If they want to read it, by all means they are free to do so, at their own discretion."

Wow what a way to pin the blame on adults. Sure. The adults in the adult space talking about adult topics are at fault.

About the image you share i find it really interesting you only did a quick google search but didnt even bother to look further into it. That "answer" you found is under a better answer asking about someone finding a kid just like you.

"Explicit fiction is legal no matter who writes it or shares it.

But adults who have ANYTHING sexually to do with minors are risking all kids of state and federal crimes. State and federal sex crime prosecutors who go after pedophiles don't believe any adults who claim they "accidentally" found or shared something relating to a minor and sex.

You sound like a pedophile, because that's what most pedophiles claim --it was a "mistake," an "accident," they were "just clicking on it to see if it was what it claimed to be," they were "just going to report it," "it was [their] 1st time, they were only looking for a minute," etc. etc.

If you're not a pedophile, see if you manage to avoid people who come right out and say they're minors."

You ignore the fact that they even said adults having ANYTHING to do with minors relating to this stuff can get in trouble. That means even just LIKING your posts.

"The other answer simply says this (not included: laywer advertisement)A minor cannot write or read explicit stories on the Internet. Yes, you can be charged if you allow minor's on your site."

"Thirdly, you say I’m pushing myself into adult spaces, simply not true. I have never once interacted with an MDNI blog, in any way shape or form. It’s disrespectful. All I do is create my own works. Under tags that, you guess it, aren’t restricted based on age."

Oh but its not disrespectful for you to even be in a space you arent supposed to be in in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE? Do you think the internet begins and ends on your blog? Keep your works PRIVATE. Also no porn/nsfw tag is restricted based on age on tumblr. There was a porn ban and any tags that are "restricted" are banned for everyone. Even adults. What fucking popular website has age restrictions for tags. And what child actually tells the truth about their age. Even if the tags arent restricted you are well aware they are about adult content. Do you seriously think that just because its not flashing in bright colors to get your attention that its about adult content that its somehow free for you as a minor to use? Gain some damn common sense would you?

"And finally, you say I’m participating in adult activity’s. I’m typing explicit words with a keyboard. Not showing anyone, not showing myself, it’s only found under tags ppl would want to see it."

Again character names show up in character tags. Tumblr does not sort entirely based on sentences. Thats why i can see people talking about nothing to do with a character in the characters tag because in the tags the talk shit about said character they didnt mention in the post itself.

By posting it with tags you do, in fact, show it to people. By posting it publicly at all you are showing people.

Also no one wants to see a minor writing smut in any tag. We dont fucking want you here so why cant you respect that?

"typing explicit words" my dude you are writing porn. You are making porn. A child cannot legally make or consume porn.

In conclusion, it’s writing for crying out loud. It’s reading. It’s letters on a screen. If you have a problem with it, your more than welcome to block me. And in the meantime, I’m gonna keep writing, it’s fun, and able to be done safely. Hope this helped.

Oh nooo its just letters on a screen

Ok. Theres a youtuber who wrote a fanfic of their younger sibling getting raped. Written during the time their sibling was a minor. This youtuber used to bragg about it all the time until they realized they could get in trouble for writing csem. Then they wanted nithing to do with it and denies it to this day.

Is that just words on a screen? "Oh but i dont write explicitly of minors" it doesnt matter. Its just words right? You writing porn is just words huh?

Also, a word of advice minors read smut, a lot. Writers are unaware of it due to the fact that you can read something without interacting, which is respectful imo. You went, and left no trace. Minors, specifically my age (15-17) are gonna have desires and hormones. It’s pretty damn normal. So having a safe space, a little outfit to exercise things safely isn’t that better than going out and having sex?? Minors writing smut is harmless and hurts no one.

Word of advice, we fucking know. So glad you think you are special and quirky. Dont fucking speak to me about what is "respectful" ever again. You only think something is "respectful" when it benefits yourself.

You do not need to share your porn. Im an demisexual woman who is still a virgin as an adult. Ive read porn since i was 11. Ive never once had the thought "omg if i dont shove myself into this adult space and talk about sex im gonna go have sex with real people to compensate for it"

You sound so fucking dumb.

You dont get to say its respectful to leave no trace but then go ahead and write porn publicly and show the while damned world. What a fucking entitled hypocrite you are.

And sure it would be harmless if you fucking kept it to yourself and lurked like a normal person.

Also just because it technically isnt hurting anyone does not mean people are liable to legal repercussions. Peoples lives can be ruined because of shits like you. It doesnt matter how likely or unlikely you think it is. That doesnt matter. The fact is there is that chance.

"they shouldn't have interacted with me"

YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR DUMB FUCKING SKULL. YOU WANNA ACT LIKE AN ADULT? LEAST YOU COULD FUCKING DO IS TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. MAYBE NOT ACT YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO GREEN EARTH AND THE WORLD SHOULD JUST CONFORM TO YOUR OWN WHIMS AND DESIRES BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS "FUN".

the world doesnt revolve around you. We shouldn't have to make room for you, and cater to you and make sure you are comfortable when you aren't supposed to be here.

"If anyone has a problem with these claims, feel free to send another ask. Just be respectful, just like we are to you."

You do not get to tell us to "be respectful like we are to you" when you can't respect the fact that we dont want children in an adult space. You dont get that option.

Block me then, not that hard omfg 👎 I’m done tagging my responses tho. Firstly, like you say it is a PUBLIC space. Meaning, anyone can access it and if you claim it to be an “adult space” you have no grounds to stand on. Even if everyone agrees, it’s still a public community/space. Anyone can access it. Who the fuck are you to gatekeep a public tag?

Writing is for everyone, sue me.

Next, I’m not getting any innocent adult lives ruined because I tag everything appropriately, it they are an innocent adult and genuinely scared. Then they can read the minor warning and move on.

And finally, no one is forcing you to cater to me what? If it bothers you, block me. Not hard

[nonbinarygamzee]

its ok if you dont like the clown much as i find that to be a very sad and dull existence i can understand it. but ive always been so fascinated watching the way that theres not much room in the fandomspace of homestuck to just not care about her. its always been so weird and hostile even to perceived neutrality and on a scale that just almost never transfers over to other characters. the unanimous not just distaste but anger she instills in people, to the point of breaking through the narrative and into the tangible, living up to the intent and function of her classpect far beyond the means of her story.

like it feels like the biggest dupe in the entirety of homestuck, that AH created a scapegoat character to be an inciting force of rage and everybody sure did take that bait without much awareness at all. its almost funny to me except that it created such an air of hostility that i still feel weird just talking on my personal little comic blog. and then its doubly not funny when you look at this character, made with the express purpose of pissing everybody off, and have to see the attributes that hussie has decided to Use for that function, Who he is saying these things about and for why. and the fans who proclaim equality and consciousness are so quick to latch their jaws into that and tear as soon as the most minimal levels of obfuscation make it easy to do so. and i have to stress minimal because what about gamzees coding is even subtle?

and its not even so much that i care about fandom or even that i want to keep rehashing the admittedly embarrassing amount of damage this space did to me personally that made me unable to stop talking about this shit. but i am just so interested in people and the ways we think and especially in how that relates to stupid shit i have stake in. and in a fandom thats been constantly grasping for reasons to be taken The Most seriously, to have The Smartest takes, its just very silly to me that nobody wants to sit back a little further and peer at it all as a whole, because if they did they might just get a little bit more of a look into how a piece of media wants to trick you into agreeing with it, and that a lot of the work to make this character so Bad and Hateable was work that hussie ultimately didnt even have to do because his readerbase was so willing to do it for them. i just think it says some things about biases.

[magnoliamyrrh]

I really hate how trauma effected my art. Ive seen many trauma survivors make beautiful art about survival and growth and other really beautiful stuff while i can only make really gross stuff about destruction and hopelessness. I dont like it. Every time i tried to make lighthearted things it didnt feel sincere.

I saw a movie about a disabled person who had an accepting environment and parents who loved him and everyone who heart him learnt from it and became kind to him and he grew up happily. It was around the time my story was really shapping up and i was even starting to be proud of it. But after watching that movie i felt so gross. That story actually gave hope to people but the only thing people will get from my stories is a small echo of my trauma. My brain is too clpuded by pain in order to create anything else. It makes me feel like a bad person. Did you ever go trough something like this?

heyo dear <3 yea i really do get what youre saying. my best friend some weeks ago was saying i need to put my art and writing and ideas out there and it send me down this same spiral, and its still something im struggling w tbh.. it makes me feel like maybe ive got nothing to add but my hopelessness, dispair, endless entrapment and contemplation of pain and sadness and doomfullness and trauma to this world... at least, most of it seems to be that, or it seems at best a fixation on trying to find some sort of grim, melancholic beauty in the rot. and whats the point, when theres already so much of that in the world..? and its made me feel like a bad person too, bc it just further reminds me im not that "ideal" trauma survivor

but. ive been trying to look at it other ways too. i think theres value in your writing and art if it comes from sincerity, and i think theres value in art which is depressing and doomful if its real and from the soul about it

i think it can provide a comfort for people who are much like you and i, at least, i always found that sort of art did.... if anything, while everyonce in awhile i appreciate a movie like the one youre speaking of, theres also many (most times) when even if i find it sweet, i find it.... harder to connect to, harder to resonate with, harder to care about. its nice and all, but i guess i tend to gravitate twoards art which makes my pain feel understood, seen, like someone else out there gets it, feels it too... and i think there really is just as much importance in that sort of art being out there as there is in that more positive side of it i guess ....... kinda like how i find comfort in even you sending this message, you know? you didnt write me some sort of hopeful thing, and yet, its both nice and sad just knowing someone has had these same thoughts and feelings running through their head and struggles w this too

... and.. maybe it doesnt seem like it to you at times, but i think in the first place writing a story, working on it putting it out there is in and of itself able to give ppl hope. bc its making something out of your pain and trauma, using it in some way, channeling it; hell, managing to get stuff out there despite feeling bad and traumatized - thats something

... and really on top of that, havent so many of the great pieces of literature of this world Been that anyway? doom, melancholy, lements, depression feeling haunted trauma endless problems endless tragedy with seeminly no resolution a general feeling of doom and dispair, clearly heavily influenced by these authors own shit.... and yet, they are read by so many people so many times, for both their artistic quality sure, but their relatabilty and realness too, their rawness, so that we can sit with something which understands. if you feel like your story and your writing is all doom and dispair you wouldn't be the first one for sure; plenty of great writers kept that going for decades

...

you cant and shouldnt force art, it should come from the soul. if right now this is how it is bc youre not feelijg or doing better, then it is how it is and it still has value.... and maybe one day, and i really hope so and wish so for you, you'll be better, yea? you will feel more healed, more hopeful, more at peace, in less pain, less tired deep down. and maybe then, your art will change and reflect what you will be feeling inside moreso, you will be making more of that art which feels more hopeful abt things... but until then, i rly think its still worthwhile and meaningful to keep working on what you've been working on <3 its what ive been trying to tell myself too

[bathroomtrapped]

What if they didnt fight cary and convinced him to return for saw 3... Then, would the scenario "jigsaw kidnaps larrys family" become real? Then, then, would it be more awesome than his coming back in saw 3d? I guess the answers yes. I'll forever hate Larry's treachery.

if it went according to plan, allison is kidnapped again and lawrence takes the role of lynn where he cares for john (iirc). either way, yeah theyre involved again. not sure abt diana tho?

okay so, sorry to be That Guy. but lawrence as an apprentice makes the most sense for his character and the saw universe and im going to use this random ask to voice my opinion so thank you for using my ask box as a saw google lol

A LOT more under the cut

i DO with we got to see that version because it would mean more lawrence screentime and i genuinely do not dislike any saw content. idc how shitty saw x is, it could undo everything and shit all over it but i would NOT care. any content means an avenue to explore saw further

thats one of the main reasons the apprentice reveal was so good, in my opinion. before i get to why its great for lawrence, i want to point out why it works SO well for the other aspects. amanda is johns pseudo-daughter, he LOVED her like a father. we see it at the end of saw iii. no matter what he says, john does not forgive people. he punishes jill for losing their child but at the end of iii, we see him genuinely look at amanda with love and forgiveness. and yet? he never trusted her enough to tell her about lawrence. this random fucking guy who didnt even WIN, is the golden child. trusted with his wife!

as for mark, he is the definition of jigsaws philosophy. he may have jostled his victims around but he had the strongest will to live out of anyone and never relished in hurting them (crying after kidnapping paul + killing seth). another reason i like 3D is that he cant even look at jills corpse. his "game over" wasnt victorious. not like johns always is. YET he is not trusted. hes been there since before amanda, followed his rules, lived his philosophy and he was shafted again. i think the reveal does a lot of good for the apprentice-john dynamic for everyone involved.

secondly, JOHNS TESTS DONT WORK. CANONICALLY. they do not!! amanda says it herself. jigsaw traps make people worse, and not just bc thats a logical response to trauma. working for john amplifies everyones worst traits. amanda became a killer, mark grew to find some sort of enjoyment in killing (at the very least, it made him dependent on it for power and a sense of identity after the loss of his sister)

lawrences test was designed to show him what john said he was missing: empathy. he has none! he lies and doesnt care, he cant understand other peoples points of view, and he prioritizes his own whims and wants over everyone. CONSISTENTLY. so what happens when his tests presents him with the very definition of his heart and moral core, then asks him to kill him? he gets fucking worse!

lawrence is a narcissist. as in the personality disorder. he has low empathy (this is canonically the reason for his test!! not just "he cheated" or "he ignored john", he does these things for that reason) and god. just look at the symptoms, its like they made every scene an example of them on purpose. the idea that his game would be a wake up call and cause him to reflect and adjust his behaviors is just insane to me! within the canon logic of the story, and when taking into account his clear personality disorder... its the most logical choice (source: i have it and also i have eyes. SIDE SIDE note, my real source is that hes a clear parallel to john and john was evaluated for NPD in his psychiatric files in the saw game. so theres that) i think this has a lot to do with people not understanding low empathy. they cant understand why he would betray adam and join jigsaw

trauma wont change that overnight. getting fixed by john for 2 years without seeing the sun certainly wont help either

lawrence as an apprentice is the most logical progression of his character. he does what he wants and what he has to, at the expense of others. hes isolated from his wife and child. he cant understand other peoples prespective. he has an issue with guilt or feeling empathy for people, including those suffering like john. this wont change bc he experienced his first shred of empathy after MURDERING someone he got to know for 6 hours. low empathy =/= no empathy. thats like saying dude bros who do shrooms and experience empathy for the first time in their life are changed people. they arent lol

also the contrast between his game over vs marks 5 minutes earlier is SO important for their characters. theres so much good shit in that movie. take out the corny lines and jill mistreatment, and u have a lot to work with! so yes i do think that itd be more awesome. i love saw 3D and what it did for his character. im not sure how saw iii hostage lawrence wouldve expanded on his character, but id rather go with saw 3D bc im confident they didnt butcher his character. im glad that a beloved protagonist is a complete narc, and hes still beloved! im never giving that up

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Im about to watch RWBY Volume 9 because I need some background noise while I translate a german version of Jesus Christ Superstar and then I remembered that I watched that RWBY DC crossover a few days ago as background noise while I made my lyric videos and then I wanted to make a post about my thoughts but then I just. never did. So I might as well do it now

Before that though, I feel the need to explain myself and my lyric-video-translation process. Basically, what I do is I pick my song that Id like to translate from german to english and then I make what is essentially a normal lyric video, which involves a lot of me listening to the song a bunch of times so I can make sure everything is properly synched up, in this particular case I actually had to listen to the entirety of the song in order to make sure it was actually synched because something went horribly wrong with my editing app and I couldnt figure out how to fix it. And then once Im done with my lyric video I can just kinda turn the audio off and add my english translation without worrying about anything because Ive already synched everything up properly. When I do musical soundtracks like this I usually synch up all the lyrics for all the songs first before getting to the actual translation process, which means theres a long period of time where Im just kinda listening to the same part over and over, except worse and it took me even longer this time because again, something went wrong and I had to listen to the songs from the beginning, otherwise it just inexplicably wouldnt synch up, and because I have a low attention span Im usually watching youtube videos or movies Ive already seen at this point

Now, I was still in the lyric video stage when I watched this movie (I was doing Pilate and Christ if youre curious) so picture this: im sitting in front of my computer, I have this RWBY DC crossover open in some piracy site bc I was looking for A Movie and this one came out recently so it was on the front page, I have my tablet with the lyric video Im about to make in front of me, Im wearing headphones, one of them isnt actually on my ear because I need to be able to hear both the song and the movie at the same time, Im playing the song over and over again as I watch the movie, slowly zoning out entirely the further I get into it because thats just kinda what happens when youre forced to listen to the same first two minutes of a song even when you do have some background noise to break up the monotony a little

The reason Im giving you that long winded explanation of the boring shit I do for fun is because I want to stress to you that I was practically physically incapable of properly paying attention to anything. So you would think that I would also be incapable of finding shit to criticize or complain about, after all, I barely managed to watch the movie

And you would be very wrong. Im gonna be honest I just wrote that long intro to whatever this is in like 20 minutes and Ive already run out of steam so please enjoy this bullet point list of mostly shit I didnt like about this crossover, as someone who doesnt know anything about DC and also didnt pay a lot of attention just in general

The Justice Leagues semblances were so bad you can tell they just kinda took their existing superpowers, barely if at all modified them and went "yep, those are semblences alright" and as a result Superman, Wonderwoman and Green Lantern all basically have the same semblance, which inexplicably consists of multiple unrelated abilities and also Vixen's semblance seems pretty similar to theirs as well

The dialogue was so awkward man, I know some stan is gonna try and defend it by being like "well none of these people know each other ofc theyre gonna be awkward" guess what, i dont care if you can like stuff about this show for no reason I can dislike stuff about this show for no reason

That weird love triangle between Nora, Ren and Cyborg was so weird and unnecessary and idk why it was there

'Weird, unecessary and idk why it was there' is honestly a great way to describe this whole movie, I dont get why they did this Isekai thing with the Justice League I feel like this wouldve been better if they were already just characters in RWBY's world but I guess then neither continuity would be able to really consider it canon which would be bad I guess??? Idk i think this crossover thing was a bad idea tbh and they shouldve made it more of a cross-promotional thing where its like "lookat the RWBYfied versions of these DC characters!!" "oooooo look at the DCified versions of these RWBY characters!!" for one movie each if you know what I mean

Speaking of pointless romance, I saw some people say that they didnt like the weird romantic subplot between Bruce and Weiss but honestly, I didnt even see one there they had less romantic sparks flying between them than Bumbleby and thats saying a lot, not that I was paying too much attention

Ive seen some DC fans say that Bruce's thing about him maybe not wanting to leave Remnant because hes got powers there was really out of character and idk anything about that, I just know that that whole thing was pointless and barely set up and didnt mean anything at all for anyone

Ruby's arc about learning to be a better team leader is something that she shouldve had in like volume 4 max this is too late into the show for the Main Character whos been leading A Team since basically day one to learn how to do it, then again its not like shes gotten any meaningful screentime in the past 9 years so maybe that justifies it

Killgore or Killg%re or whatever was just cringe

When Killgore was explaining his plan and how he was working with someone and then it turned out that he was actually trapped in this VR world by that someone, I thought, oh its probably Salem given that shes yknow, the main villain. I mean, it doesnt really make sense why she would do all this shit but its not like her motivations and actions have ever been consistent right. And then he was like "he" and I went, its fucking Ironwood?? Are you joking?? Like, yeah, I'll give them a smidge of credit here, that does make more sense but I hate how these guys' weird desire to demonize Some Guy gets in the way of even attempting to make The Actual Main Villain even remotely threatening. Someone tell MKEK that sidelining a female character in favor of a male character isnt suddenly less sexist because shes Satan Herself but they wanna villanize the "shitty white guy" instead

The action scenes were decent enough, obviously nowhere near the level of Volume 1-3s fightscenes but Ive definitely seen worse from RWBY at this point

I guess the mystery aspect was fine too I was atleast kinda intrigued

And to end this whole thing on a somewhat positive note, heres some stuff I actually kinda liked:

While the isekai thing honestly doesnt seem like a good idea, it was still kinda fun watching people from a setting more similar to our world interact with Remnant and try to blend in even though they had no idea what was going on

I kinda liked Barry, he was pretty fun

I really liked Jessica, her finding that ring and saying that rhyming incantation actually gave me goosebumps, her VA was really good. I just wish she didnt spend all her screentime with Jaune and also I wish Jaune died already

I liked that they were wearing their Beacon Era outfits for most of it so I didnt have to endure their absolutely horrendous Atlas outfits although I am about to watch Volume 9 and they dont get an outfit change from what Ive seen so. You cant run from your problems forever I guess

Thats about it, but to bring this thing full circle Id like to once again elaborate on my lyric video translation stuff. Right now Im fully done with the lyric videos and all I gotta do is add in the english translations which I can do without needing to listen to the music, which means I can actually listen to the dialogue at the very least even if Im not properly looking at the screen. I was originally gonna do the same thing with Volume 9 as the crossover movie which is to say, blast music while watching and fully zoning out half the time but I figured the actual volume deserves a little more respect than that. I mean, thats still not a lot but RT isnt getting any more than this from me

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES GETS TRAUMATISED BY KOTOR!

i was gonna part 2 of this when I got to the end but i got to That Bit™ this morning and i need to tell everyone ever (im aware im probably towards the end of the game now but still plz dont spoil i assume theres more insane shit to come!!)

without further ado, sessions 7-9:

seven rhymes w revan so they better show tf up now

this game is so pretty esp when you land the ship

CARTH HAD A WIFE AND SON?????? CHRIST POOR GUY SAUL SUCKS

omg they never found the son that feels potentially relevant

'they didnt send a master bc itd draw too much attention' bastila, malak is obsessed with u rn i think that mission has been failed

wow so the council sent juhani with me just bc my vibes are so great

i might sound completely batshit insane for this but with all these redemption themes/talks i keep thinking abt 1. the fact i was so certain u played as revan 2. that revan is never given pronouns like ur supposed to pick their pronouns and 3. i have amnesia and im good at being a jedi (+ they clearly know smthn i dont). im not gonna say it bc i will look incredibly stupid if im wrong but do u pick up my theory. do u pick up what im putting down

ok that feels like the biggest reach in history PLEASE IM CLEARLY GOING CRAZY JUST SHOW ME REVANNN PLEASEEEEEEEE

i don’t even know if i have amnesia tbh but nobody’s given me a chance to prove i don’t

they could just be trying to make revan extra mysterious w the pronouns. i think im talking to carth too much, him not trusting anyone is making me not trust the game now im worried the lack of pronouns is there to hide their identity for some betrayal LMAO

oop i thought bringing zaalbar would be a good idea but apparently hes an exile. great

is stopping slavery even the jedi way cause qui-gonn sure as shit didnt do that in tpm

ZAALBAR'S DAD IS CHIEF??

i should bring Mission on this meet-zaalbar's-dad thing but shes 14 and i dont want to bring her into active combat scenarios ok

ok zaalbar's dad WAS chief. odds on him being this 'mad-claw'

A JEDI?

a grouchy hermit jedi!!!

why am i allowed to use the computer what previous user would make it usable for ME?????? SUSPICIOUS

what if im a wattpad character and revan is my older sibling or cousin

this is star wars, The Family Drama Franchise, im not ruling out that theyre my dad. my woke nonbinary dad

I LOVE THIS BUILDERS MYSTERY WHO TF WERE THEY. THEY MADE KASHYYK A FOREST!!! THEYRE SO COOL!!! I LOVE AN ANCIENT PEOPLES MYSTERY

was the builders my evil dad is this like assassins creed (everyone else has parental issues i'll feel left out if i don't have any)

big fan of how creepy the forest mandos are

im fighting little beasties and a massive beastie. this is just like jfo

well we dealt with a planet of slavers and helped with Zaalbar's daddy issues, now it's time to go to a new planet of slavers and help with Bastila's mummy issues!!!

DARTH BANDON (ill call him brandon out of disrespect) SHOWED UP AND IMMEDIATELY THREW A RANDOM GUARD INTO A TERMINAL INJURING 2 OTHERS. AND HE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL SIMS 2 TOWNIE bet hes lowkey mid

malak you will never replace your best friend revan with this brandon fucker. and revan is going to be MY best friend soon when i find them

massive fan of how imperial tatooine looks near the same as it did in kotor 4000 years ago. this planet is the true no.1 shithole ever

btw the 8th fast n furious was called f8 of the furious

im still so scared that revan's pronoun sitch means they're gonna be someone i know like what if revan is already my best friend CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIA SO I CAN RELAX AND AT LEAST RULE OUT THE CRACK THEORY OF ME BETRAYING MYSELF

whatever let's think about the fact i'm on the sand shithole. fuck this star map bastila where's your mum i want some soap opera drama

WHY DOES EVERYWHERE CHARGE ME 100 CREDITS

tatooine used to be a lush green planet??? arrakis who?

omg this guy knows carth does everyone on tatooine know my friends

HIS SON IS W THE SITH??????

'he must be a man by now' how old are you carth i thought you were like 30 at most. carth were you a child bride

when are we gonna run into someone who knows ME so i can dispute the amnesia allegations

AH! BASTILA'S BITCH-MUM JUST ASKED ME IF I TALK TO MY MOTHER LIKE THAT AND I GOT OPTIONS!! IS THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST MY AMNESIA???? AM I A REAL CHARACTER??????? GET IN!!! I HAD A MOTHER

i love how bastila n her mum havent seen each other in presumably like 20 years and yet their reunion was so immediately hostile

or more than 20 years who knows how old any of my companions are carth apparently has an adult son!!!

the only person i can trust is mission who is for sure 14 and the old men who are old man aged

thank god there was a guy who immediately told me the nonlethal option for the tuskens i thought i was gonna have to search for it

just did baby's first savescum cause i accidentally picked a dark side option and my friends were sad LOL

THE WAY HK47 SAID "shall i kill something for you? (:" LMAO IM IN LOVE W IT ALREADY

LMAOO HK IS ALMOST ALL THE WAY INTO THE DARK SIDE METER

having bastila and hk at the same time feels like having an angel and a devil on my shoulder every time they chime in on dialogue

i love them

MEATBAGS

"would you rather be caught with contraband that is very illegal or just a little illegal" "whats the difference" "about 20 years, master" HE IS MY FAVOURITE

love getting the murderdroid to do peace negotiations

hilarious that we're negotiating in our underwear

tatooine really makes you realise that this game is a walking simulator

LETS GO FIGHT A DRAGON

but respectfully. bc im a jedi

fun fact if you walk straight into the cave without using the hunter guy's mines then you will die and have to reload your save. not saying i know this from experience bc i just did exactly that and died or anything it's just a random fact i know

dragon: exploded

DARTH BRANDON??!??!?!?!

NOW TELL ME WHERE REVAN IS YOU SHITBRICKED SON OF A BITCH ok hes dead he cant tell me anything

bastila is drawn to landmines like a moth to a flame she loves getting exploded by them

BASTILA'S MUMMY ISSUES: SOLVED

i should be an intergalactic family issues counsellor. my character could've solved vaderkin and luke's whole thing in less than one film

bastila just PAID ME A COMPLIMENT INSTEAD OF NAGGING ME! CALL THE UH-- i guess star wars doesnt have the vatican just uhhh idk tell yoda when he's born

i love this game bc you get a very distinct feeling that they pulled '4000 years' out of a hat and didnt think about how the buildings or technology would be different. in 4000 years all that's changed on tatooine is how many towns there are but i guess it's the law of diminishing returns or whatever

WE’RE BEING TRACTOR-YOINKED???

why are we in our underwear. saul you pervert

what history between us

WHAT HISTORY SAUL. WHAT HISTORY

WHAT HISTORY?!!!!!!?!!????

what does he MEAN my loyalties are switching WHAT FUCKING HISTORYY

LMAOOO you can say the academy was on alderaan instead of dantooine thats such a good anh reference

THE JEDI ON DANTOOINE HAVE BEEN KILLED?!!?!!!! WHAT IM NO LONGER LMAO-ING

WHAT THE HELL CAN I HAVE A SECOND TO PROCESS EVERYTHIN

sorry carth i got you soooo electrocuted it was for the republic tho

seriously WHAT THE DANTOOINE JEDI CANT BE DEAD LIKE ??????? what????? no??? master tortimer???

LMAOOO HALF NAKED JOLEE IS GONNA KILL A SHIP

NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE LETS GOO!!

this is good we should get out of here but also can we ask saul and malak what the fuck he meant by history

presumably?? i was a sith before?? my amnesiacs??? like that seems certain going off saul's comments

god if the crack theory was right im gonna cry i dont even want to think abt the implications of that

at least my amnesia has been semi-confirmed. or i have an evil twin

LMAO JOLEE HAS NO ARMOUR PROFICIENCY ALL HE CAN WEAR IS HIS UNDIES. NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE CONTINUES!

“i have an army” “we have a naked old man”

rip naked old man times i have my equipment back

bastila thinks we can't fight malak but i literally have grenades we'll be fine

also i want to talk to him what the fuck did saul mean we had history. is MALAK my evil dad??? (i dont want 2 think abt the alternative option)

IM IN SPACE!!!!! IN A SPACE SUIT

what the hell do they put in these star wars games man, kotor is reaching jfo/js levels of "basically coke for me"

i cant think of a session nine pun i just wanna play it

CONTINUING ON FROM BEING IN SPACE LETS GO PUNCH SAUL IN SPACE

the crack theory can't be right its just a crack theory i'm not. like im just a normal woman i cant be ya know. i dont even wanna say it

SAUL PLEASE TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIAAA

omg YES WE GET TO KILL SAUL!! GAME OF THE YEAR!!

HES ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK DID HE TELL YOU CARTH. WHAT THE FUCK DID THE WHOLE JEDI COUNCIL KNOW

CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME

WHY IS THE ONLY DIALOGUE OPTION LET'S MOVE ON. I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT

ah! malak! you bitch!

REUNION? VENGEANCE?? OH GOD NO

NO

ITS SHOWING ME THE EVIDENCE

OH IT WAS CARTH WHO SAID ABT THE MEMORY WIPING IT WASNT A LOADING SCREEN TIP

NO

WHAT

NO??????????? NO

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRACK THEORY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRAZY REACH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

wow revan (my???) eyes are fucked up

AGH HE CALLED ME REVAN

OH MY GOD

I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

THIS WHOLE TIME. I WAS NEVER PLAYING AS SOME RANDOM CLOWN WHO IVE GROWN TO LOVE AS A CHARACTER. I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

WHY IS THERE NOT A DIALOGUE OPTION TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK I NEED TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK

FUCK MAN ILL HAVE ONE IN REAL LIFE AT THIS RATE THERES NO WAY

i dont feel like im abt to cry but i kind of want to cry anyway what the HELL MAN

IT GETS WORSE EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME REVAN IM IN MROE AND MORE SHOCK

LIKE IVE BEEN PHYSICALLY GASPING ON REPEAT N SAYING NO OUT LOUD. IF I WAS HOME ALONE I THINK ID BE SCREAMING

there has got to be a speneva (space geneva) convention against this this seems so illegal

i literally cannot work out if this is better or worse than death. tbh it is death like the body lives but they stole my fucking brain man what the hell BASTILA I THOUGHT WE WERE FUCKING FRIENDS

oh my god she said "to capture revan… to capture you" WHY DOES IT HURT MORE WHEN MY FRIEND BASTILA CALLS ME REVAN

STOP CALLING ME REVAN MY NAME IS LEALA MACHAI THATS THE NAME IVE HAD FOR THE LAST 16 HOURS THATS MY NAME SHUT UP SHUT UP

NO STOP CALLING ME REVAN BASTILA!!!!

malaks a fuckin pussy he keeps running away

WHAT NO BASTILA DONT SACRIFICE YOURSELF DONT DO THAT STOP BASTILA WE CAN TAKE HIM IVE BEEN BEATING HIM 1V1 HES FUCKING EASY TO FIGHT COME BACK

NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER!!!!!!! THATS;. SHE LIED TO ME BUT SHES STILL MY FRIEND BASTILA NO CARTH I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER I NEED TO TALK TO HER

jesus mary joseph and the little donkey im revan. what the hell. im revan

this whole time

JOLEE IS STILL NAKED LMAO

yes mission! yes i love you yes it just matters who i am now yes exactly

CARTH DONT CALL ME REVAN I WILL START CRYING

thank you mission and zaalbar youre real ones

THANK U CANDEROUS

jolee knew but im not pissed off he wanted me to find out on my own and it wasnt his place to say, candy-o respects my/revan’s defeating his ppl and is the first person to make revan not sound like a slur

HK WAS MY DROID THIS WHOLE TIME?? HE WAS MY ASSASSIN DROID???????? LMAO AMAZING ok i feel less bad i can be revan if it means hk was mine all along

omg yay that means i DID run into someone i knew on tatooine just like carth and bastila!

tatooine must be crazy to do as the last planet lmao like does hk immediately go WADDUP MASTER and you cant even solve bastila's mummy issues bc shes not there. good thing i already did it

LMAOO CANDEROUS BEING LIKE girl its the force anything can happen its not just convenient

am i the force's specialest girl

yay carth listened to everyone and UNDERSTOOD THAT WHATEVER SHOCK HES FEELING I AM FEELING IT MUCH MUCH WORSE GODDAMNIT

agh no what the hell i just have to go about my day now?? i just have to work now????? until i can play the rest later?? when that just happened???????? i need bereavement leave

ive closed the game but im just blankly staring at my computer screen. what the hell. what the hell man

i have never felt so violated and traumatised by a bunch of pixels

somehow it feels worse that i basically clocked it but then was immediately like nahhh thats an insane reach, anyway! like somehow that feels worse than if i'd just never thought it was a possibility

what the fuck man what the fuck

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[essiekuko]

the pieces of jennifer's body

i told them, it was all a ruse to get them closer to me so i can learn their secrets. i'd know their secrets to be able to have something to use against them in the future if they were to cross me....like they would ever cross me, right? literally immature and petty behaviour coming from year 9 me. and the year after i was so desperate for close friendships ha. anyway, yeah. did i finish explaining the beef between harold and jewel? probably not. okay, so with harold and jewel, i told harold what jewel said abt him (that she thinks he's using our friend group for popularity) and he wanted to take it to the counsellor's. like omfg. what is everyone's obsession with taking shit to the counsellor's. anyway, we took it to the counsellor's and i was being so fake and shit. harold and i met up with the counsellor beforehand, and she sent me to go fetch jewel from class. i went to go get jewel from class to come to our meeting, and i didn't answer any of her questions the whole time we walked there. so jewel and harold talked it out, and i thinkkkk jewel they did work things out but they obviously still have their suspicions about each other. so that was beef...! little miss world wanted to be the drama starter so bad, she just went about ruining friendships and lives and what not just to cause some drama for her own entertainment. at least thats what she told herself, she just wanted to feel powerful is all. like that one scene where regina george finishes spreading the burn book pages all across school, and she stands amidst the chaos with her arms crossed and a smug little smile on her face, i used to idolise that scene heavy and attempted to recreate that feeling, the power and control i could have over others. in year 8, the start of being miss world until her untimely demise in year 9 (courtesy of lockdown), i broke up a couple by being the middle girl once again. i hear both parties gossiping about one another, and then as the messenger and supposed 'peace bringer' cause i'm on good terms with both parties, i have the uppermost hand and im able to manipulate the situation however i want it to go. one of my best friends, leila, was dating yasin. she asked him out first, but later on in their relationship yasin told me that he felt pressured to accept her love confession, and was pretty much desperate for a new relationship after his previous failed one, so he accepted her love confession and began dating leila even without the love, just for the image of them two being together. and there's thing funny thing little about love. theres all kinds of love, and the love yasin had for leila was like the love a singer would have for their fans. the singer only loves the fans because they love the singer, its like a narcissistic thing. i told leila, and i was coming from a good place yk, i love leila and shes a dear friend, i didnt want to just stand idly by while i knew their relationship was built on one-sided love, and that yasin just wants to be admired by her. they broke it off, and i guess i was to blame??? for good reason....rightttt??? idk, maybe i shouldnt have said anything. i got them to talk it over at least. like, so they dont end things off on a sour note. the next year the girls and i (older girl friend group) were discussing love and crushes and shit, and i found it hard to relate, so i took the discussion as an opportunity to further fuel my little miss world title, looking ruthless and cutthroat and what not. i lied to my girls that i broke up leila and yasin because i secretly liked yasin and was jealous of leila's relationship with him. yeah. i said that. those words exited my mouth. see this is why i look back at my younger years with such annoyance. anyway, i've made my peace with all though. i don't regret many things in life, and i try not to have regrets, because i believe everything u do in life all contributes to ur overall growth as a person. i just realised the aliases i came up with for yasin and leila sound just like yasu and reira from nana. and they were like a toxic little couple as well…!!

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