#theres some other shit but i didnt even look further into that

[cringefail-clown]

what are they fighting about this time?

ehh d*rkr*xy discourse from what ive seen. like i dont vibe with this ship at all, but you can just block or ignore it instead of bullying the artist into going private like calm down lmfao it aint that serious

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.

[exhokai]

heyy if u write for the group iluna from nijisanji en, may i request an dom!aster x gn!reader where the reader is touch starved but aster is streaming so they ends up wearing smth (u can decide) and barges into asters streaming room and sits on his lap and tries to distract him while hes playing some sort of fps game or league and it makes him stop focusing?

AHAHAHA ASTER ARCADIA HEHEHEH

didnt have a photo sorry bookie

this was more of a switchy aster sorry

switch!aster (sub to top), slight grinding, facefucking, deepthroat, nearly getting caught, cum swallowing, enna breaking the 4th walk

a/n: it took me SO so long to work on this im SO sorry

————————————————————————

oh aster dearest aster. aster was playing his silly little games (i didnt know what to put) and actually playing with kyo, enna, and fulgur. well- more like kyo was listening and the others were playing BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT

he was chillin vibing fuckin (hehe fuckin) around when you pop into his room. unnoticed. and wearing his sweater. no pants. just underwear. ya nasty- (gets bonked)

you waddle up to his chair and lay your head on his shoulder. he notices you and gives you a little ‘hello’ expression than whispers ‘im busy’. but you dear reader. dont give a shit. you slide down and get under his arm to than slide onto his lap. hes suprised (FLABBAGASTED) as 1.) you’re wearing his sweater. with only some underwear. thats all 2.) you put your arms around his neck to sit fully on his crotch. moving (purposefully may i add) to get more comfortable. he whispers a hurried “what are you doing?!”

kyo heard it. and so did enna. “yo aster you good?” kyo asked (MY LOVE UHHHGHHHHHVHHGGGG) “o-oh im fine” “are you sure my guy you sound a bit off” goddamnit enna. now your gonna make the narrator haunt you with what aster and the reader are doing-

wait. thats my job hehehe- anyways. fulgur takes notice and says “cmon aster even if theres a cute cat climbing in front of you, we need to win. cmon”

yeah. cat. sure. he looks at you. frustration and anger since he could loose his job. but that doesnt matter that you got food on yo table now does it 🤨. you start moving your hips side to side. slowly. slowly enough so its agonizing for aster. he grips you with one hand. signaling to stop. you dont. you kiss his neck moving down so you slide off his lap. he looks down and gives you a warning look to stop as you pull down his sweats

you pull his dick out of his boxers, fascinated even though you’ve sucked his dick before. you instantly put the head in your mouth as he gasps. you can hear the faint sound of fulgur laughing. “AHAHAHA MY BOY ASTER YOU OKAY?” he starts to speak so you suck on the head hard so it comes more as a strangled “i-im okay!!” hes ashamed as you everyone laughs at him. even chat. “you getting your dick sucked my guy” enna asks. you laugh slightly as you move your head down further on his dick “n-no!! just-“ he cuts himself off as he looks at the chat. sudden anger fills him as one of his hands is taken off of the keyboard and grabs your hair to shove you down his dick. a sound of surprise leaving you

“im fine” he says with sudden composure. he has one hand on the keyboard and one on your head loosing focus yet still playing while you gag so hard on his dick. he moves your head a bit and starts thrusting. quickly and hard as you make gagging noises, surprised at this sudden switch of energy in aster

he gives you a look of “dont move” as he shoves you to the base of his cock. tears well up in your eyes from the suddenness of his thrusting. you grip his thighs so your hands aren’t awkwardly sitting there in your lap. his abuse to your throat is painful yet if feels like your head is reeling from it.

“yo aster what the fuck why are you lacking so much” enna asks. he mutters out a sorry as he lets his hand off your hair and back to the game, letting your head fly around a bit without support.

a few minutes go buy. your throat is sore and his hand is back in your hair. and hes close. he looks down at you, and everyone saw it, his chat starts flying

“HELP IS HE GETTING HIS DICK SUCKED”

“ayo aster why you lookin down like that”

“my guy just looked at his crotch oh nahh 💀”

he panics and makes an excuse “sorry guys i felt something fall. lemme get it” he leans down completely as he pushes his chair back and gets on his hands and knees, still facefucking you. “in close. and you better take it. all”. you oblige. you start crying from the insane speed he has with his hips. god was he always like this? he starts whispering ‘im close im close’ till he presses your face against him. making you take his cum down your throat. he pulls out once hes finished

“dont do that again or it will be worse”

(and enna thinks to herself when she wakes up why she had to open her mouth during that collab. as the haunting image of her coworker fucking someones mouth stays branded because of me lmao)

[petrigrofyuri]

sorry for not posting about fionna and cake, new life series has me in a chokehold

I havent watched everyones POV yet as im a lazy fuck BUT i do have more stuff from people on Tumblr and im gonna post that + some stuff i also noticed (and other people noticed) here, sadly i wont be able to credit anyone for the thoughts and rambles BUT i will gladly state that not all of these i noticed, and that other people pointed them out beforehand, i just needa write this shit down somewhere

OK so, first of all most obvious thing of literally everything, the very blatantly similar EVO symbol on the secret keepers face, sure its flipped and the broken off corners are further away, but it's definitley resembling the EVO symbol in several ways. ALSO in the intro with when you get hearts taken away, the similar symbol gets red particles over it, and as someone else pointed out, watchers feeding on negative energy, as when you complete a task, nothing changes on the statue.

BigBs task was also different to everyone elses, with his being a red colour rather than the pale off-white colour (idk colours), also, as another person pointed out, BigBs task was very vague and more than one sentence long with 'make it your base if you want' at the end of it. I haven't seen BigBs POV yet but also he decided to keep acting suspicious even after completing his task, even when his task didnt revolve around that, which could be either him just deciding to do that, or something to do with his task being red coloured.

Also something i noticed and many others noticed to, the sky darkening whenever you approach the secret keeper, this could just be done for it to cast an imposing presence over people, however the sky darkens to a dark purple colour, and at some point its shown as light purple (i wasnt paying attention so it could be due to the time of minecraft day for the darkess of the sky), a colour commonly used for the watchers is a light purple colour. It's probably just a coincidence but im putting it here anyway.

Theres also Jimmy pointing out that the symbol looks familiar, and Grian saying that theres an end possibility on this seed, which if you've watched EVO you'd probably know what i'm thinking here, i have no idea how to put it into words but I hope you understand (hopefully if you dont someone else will be able to explain it).

Also as another tumblr user pointed out, BigBs task might not be a coincidence with the line 'make it your base if you want', as it could be somehow linked to the 'possible end portal' the seed has, perhaps its above or near it, and that is why the task suggests to make it his base, if he wants.

Also Grian saying that the rules are just suggestions, and changing them for Scar is quite reminiscent of EVO, with him not following the rules, when will he learn. Also Grian stating to 'let evolution take its course', he knows what he's doing, he knows.

anyways thats about it, i'll probably post more when new sessions come out (so like next friday), credits to everyone who came up with the theories and also very big respect to all of you you all have massive brains.

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em

i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them

speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath

also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me

the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19

so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol

i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile

pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)

im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT

from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery

i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours

speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged

my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters

my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink

apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it

my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird

showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that

my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid

my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol

which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all

i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??

i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over

having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position

the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it

the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho

regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one

u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??

my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig

[roseychains]

I love how you try and act all mature and intelligent in your writing. Real convincing.

"let’s break up your argument into a few parts, and let me debunk each one

First you say this can get adults in trouble? Simple solution, don’t interact if it’s really going to cause problems."

My dude. You are in a public space. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to follow the rules. Why would you go into a public space and post something your not supposed to and then try to act like if they dont like it they shouldnt even be here. Once again public space. A community you are not welcome/old enough to be in. And you are telling other people that if they dont like it they just shouldnt interact or be here at all? You dont make the fucking rules child. You arent even supposed to be here.

"Next, you say that smut is a adult only space. And that’s only true to some extent. Of course, child pornograhpy is illegal of course, but this isn’t explicit depiction of children or sexualizing them, it’s writing about fictional characters. But as for the legal aspect of it, the problem occurs specifically when adults go out of their way to interact with minors. I, atop all my posts the first content warning in bold is that I am a minor. It’s impossible to miss, I’m not going to get anyone in trouble. It’s not like I’m specifically sharing it with adults either. I put things under smut tags but again, are warned I’m a minor and further, a LOTTT of minors my age (15-17) read smut, and comply with whatever rules the author puts. If they say MDNI, then we don’t interact, it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s. Another legal aspect is roleplaying, which, ew, no."

Ok first of all. Its true to the FULL FUCKING EXTENT. ITS LITERALLY IN THE WORDS. Its smut its fucking sex its nsfw its fucking porn. ITS ONLY FOR ADULTS NO MATTER WHAT WORD YOU PUT IT IN ITS THE SAME DAMNED THING.

Second of all if you understand you can get adults in trouble just by them interacting with you why fucking post at all. Can you prove every other minor on here interacting with you is a minor? Can you prove no adults interact with you? Its not even just about your safety but ours aswell. And you know that. You know that theres the potential that if an adult is found enjoying your content their lives could be ruined. Despite everyone telling you to just wait until you are older, the dangers of grooming, the fact that no one even wants you in this adult oriented space, you just dont care. You think you want something and decide you deserve it because of that. Everyone else be damned.

You do specifically share it with adults. Its a fucking adult space. The majority and the target audience of which is fucking adults. You post it publicly. Also your "smut tags" show up in character tags too idiot.

"zhongli smut" shows up in just "zhongli" because it has his damned name in it.

Again i and every creator out there are well aware of you children reading and consuming our shit. We lurked too. And thats all you should be doing until you are an adult. Also "it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s." Is fucking rich coming from a kid who cant stay out of an adult space and not post adult content when told not to.

"Moreover, there can be potential problems for adults who have anything to do with explicit fan fiction, but again, that’s why it’s a warning. If they want to read it, by all means they are free to do so, at their own discretion."

Wow what a way to pin the blame on adults. Sure. The adults in the adult space talking about adult topics are at fault.

About the image you share i find it really interesting you only did a quick google search but didnt even bother to look further into it. That "answer" you found is under a better answer asking about someone finding a kid just like you.

"Explicit fiction is legal no matter who writes it or shares it.

But adults who have ANYTHING sexually to do with minors are risking all kids of state and federal crimes. State and federal sex crime prosecutors who go after pedophiles don't believe any adults who claim they "accidentally" found or shared something relating to a minor and sex.

You sound like a pedophile, because that's what most pedophiles claim --it was a "mistake," an "accident," they were "just clicking on it to see if it was what it claimed to be," they were "just going to report it," "it was [their] 1st time, they were only looking for a minute," etc. etc.

If you're not a pedophile, see if you manage to avoid people who come right out and say they're minors."

You ignore the fact that they even said adults having ANYTHING to do with minors relating to this stuff can get in trouble. That means even just LIKING your posts.

"The other answer simply says this (not included: laywer advertisement)A minor cannot write or read explicit stories on the Internet. Yes, you can be charged if you allow minor's on your site."

"Thirdly, you say I’m pushing myself into adult spaces, simply not true. I have never once interacted with an MDNI blog, in any way shape or form. It’s disrespectful. All I do is create my own works. Under tags that, you guess it, aren’t restricted based on age."

Oh but its not disrespectful for you to even be in a space you arent supposed to be in in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE? Do you think the internet begins and ends on your blog? Keep your works PRIVATE. Also no porn/nsfw tag is restricted based on age on tumblr. There was a porn ban and any tags that are "restricted" are banned for everyone. Even adults. What fucking popular website has age restrictions for tags. And what child actually tells the truth about their age. Even if the tags arent restricted you are well aware they are about adult content. Do you seriously think that just because its not flashing in bright colors to get your attention that its about adult content that its somehow free for you as a minor to use? Gain some damn common sense would you?

"And finally, you say I’m participating in adult activity’s. I’m typing explicit words with a keyboard. Not showing anyone, not showing myself, it’s only found under tags ppl would want to see it."

Again character names show up in character tags. Tumblr does not sort entirely based on sentences. Thats why i can see people talking about nothing to do with a character in the characters tag because in the tags the talk shit about said character they didnt mention in the post itself.

By posting it with tags you do, in fact, show it to people. By posting it publicly at all you are showing people.

Also no one wants to see a minor writing smut in any tag. We dont fucking want you here so why cant you respect that?

"typing explicit words" my dude you are writing porn. You are making porn. A child cannot legally make or consume porn.

In conclusion, it’s writing for crying out loud. It’s reading. It’s letters on a screen. If you have a problem with it, your more than welcome to block me. And in the meantime, I’m gonna keep writing, it’s fun, and able to be done safely. Hope this helped.

Oh nooo its just letters on a screen

Ok. Theres a youtuber who wrote a fanfic of their younger sibling getting raped. Written during the time their sibling was a minor. This youtuber used to bragg about it all the time until they realized they could get in trouble for writing csem. Then they wanted nithing to do with it and denies it to this day.

Is that just words on a screen? "Oh but i dont write explicitly of minors" it doesnt matter. Its just words right? You writing porn is just words huh?

Also, a word of advice minors read smut, a lot. Writers are unaware of it due to the fact that you can read something without interacting, which is respectful imo. You went, and left no trace. Minors, specifically my age (15-17) are gonna have desires and hormones. It’s pretty damn normal. So having a safe space, a little outfit to exercise things safely isn’t that better than going out and having sex?? Minors writing smut is harmless and hurts no one.

Word of advice, we fucking know. So glad you think you are special and quirky. Dont fucking speak to me about what is "respectful" ever again. You only think something is "respectful" when it benefits yourself.

You do not need to share your porn. Im an demisexual woman who is still a virgin as an adult. Ive read porn since i was 11. Ive never once had the thought "omg if i dont shove myself into this adult space and talk about sex im gonna go have sex with real people to compensate for it"

You sound so fucking dumb.

You dont get to say its respectful to leave no trace but then go ahead and write porn publicly and show the while damned world. What a fucking entitled hypocrite you are.

And sure it would be harmless if you fucking kept it to yourself and lurked like a normal person.

Also just because it technically isnt hurting anyone does not mean people are liable to legal repercussions. Peoples lives can be ruined because of shits like you. It doesnt matter how likely or unlikely you think it is. That doesnt matter. The fact is there is that chance.

"they shouldn't have interacted with me"

YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR DUMB FUCKING SKULL. YOU WANNA ACT LIKE AN ADULT? LEAST YOU COULD FUCKING DO IS TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. MAYBE NOT ACT YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO GREEN EARTH AND THE WORLD SHOULD JUST CONFORM TO YOUR OWN WHIMS AND DESIRES BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS "FUN".

the world doesnt revolve around you. We shouldn't have to make room for you, and cater to you and make sure you are comfortable when you aren't supposed to be here.

"If anyone has a problem with these claims, feel free to send another ask. Just be respectful, just like we are to you."

You do not get to tell us to "be respectful like we are to you" when you can't respect the fact that we dont want children in an adult space. You dont get that option.

Block me then, not that hard omfg 👎 I’m done tagging my responses tho. Firstly, like you say it is a PUBLIC space. Meaning, anyone can access it and if you claim it to be an “adult space” you have no grounds to stand on. Even if everyone agrees, it’s still a public community/space. Anyone can access it. Who the fuck are you to gatekeep a public tag?

Writing is for everyone, sue me.

Next, I’m not getting any innocent adult lives ruined because I tag everything appropriately, it they are an innocent adult and genuinely scared. Then they can read the minor warning and move on.

And finally, no one is forcing you to cater to me what? If it bothers you, block me. Not hard

[nonbinarygamzee]

its ok if you dont like the clown much as i find that to be a very sad and dull existence i can understand it. but ive always been so fascinated watching the way that theres not much room in the fandomspace of homestuck to just not care about her. its always been so weird and hostile even to perceived neutrality and on a scale that just almost never transfers over to other characters. the unanimous not just distaste but anger she instills in people, to the point of breaking through the narrative and into the tangible, living up to the intent and function of her classpect far beyond the means of her story.

like it feels like the biggest dupe in the entirety of homestuck, that AH created a scapegoat character to be an inciting force of rage and everybody sure did take that bait without much awareness at all. its almost funny to me except that it created such an air of hostility that i still feel weird just talking on my personal little comic blog. and then its doubly not funny when you look at this character, made with the express purpose of pissing everybody off, and have to see the attributes that hussie has decided to Use for that function, Who he is saying these things about and for why. and the fans who proclaim equality and consciousness are so quick to latch their jaws into that and tear as soon as the most minimal levels of obfuscation make it easy to do so. and i have to stress minimal because what about gamzees coding is even subtle?

and its not even so much that i care about fandom or even that i want to keep rehashing the admittedly embarrassing amount of damage this space did to me personally that made me unable to stop talking about this shit. but i am just so interested in people and the ways we think and especially in how that relates to stupid shit i have stake in. and in a fandom thats been constantly grasping for reasons to be taken The Most seriously, to have The Smartest takes, its just very silly to me that nobody wants to sit back a little further and peer at it all as a whole, because if they did they might just get a little bit more of a look into how a piece of media wants to trick you into agreeing with it, and that a lot of the work to make this character so Bad and Hateable was work that hussie ultimately didnt even have to do because his readerbase was so willing to do it for them. i just think it says some things about biases.

[magnoliamyrrh]

I really hate how trauma effected my art. Ive seen many trauma survivors make beautiful art about survival and growth and other really beautiful stuff while i can only make really gross stuff about destruction and hopelessness. I dont like it. Every time i tried to make lighthearted things it didnt feel sincere.

I saw a movie about a disabled person who had an accepting environment and parents who loved him and everyone who heart him learnt from it and became kind to him and he grew up happily. It was around the time my story was really shapping up and i was even starting to be proud of it. But after watching that movie i felt so gross. That story actually gave hope to people but the only thing people will get from my stories is a small echo of my trauma. My brain is too clpuded by pain in order to create anything else. It makes me feel like a bad person. Did you ever go trough something like this?

heyo dear <3 yea i really do get what youre saying. my best friend some weeks ago was saying i need to put my art and writing and ideas out there and it send me down this same spiral, and its still something im struggling w tbh.. it makes me feel like maybe ive got nothing to add but my hopelessness, dispair, endless entrapment and contemplation of pain and sadness and doomfullness and trauma to this world... at least, most of it seems to be that, or it seems at best a fixation on trying to find some sort of grim, melancholic beauty in the rot. and whats the point, when theres already so much of that in the world..? and its made me feel like a bad person too, bc it just further reminds me im not that "ideal" trauma survivor

but. ive been trying to look at it other ways too. i think theres value in your writing and art if it comes from sincerity, and i think theres value in art which is depressing and doomful if its real and from the soul about it

i think it can provide a comfort for people who are much like you and i, at least, i always found that sort of art did.... if anything, while everyonce in awhile i appreciate a movie like the one youre speaking of, theres also many (most times) when even if i find it sweet, i find it.... harder to connect to, harder to resonate with, harder to care about. its nice and all, but i guess i tend to gravitate twoards art which makes my pain feel understood, seen, like someone else out there gets it, feels it too... and i think there really is just as much importance in that sort of art being out there as there is in that more positive side of it i guess ....... kinda like how i find comfort in even you sending this message, you know? you didnt write me some sort of hopeful thing, and yet, its both nice and sad just knowing someone has had these same thoughts and feelings running through their head and struggles w this too

... and.. maybe it doesnt seem like it to you at times, but i think in the first place writing a story, working on it putting it out there is in and of itself able to give ppl hope. bc its making something out of your pain and trauma, using it in some way, channeling it; hell, managing to get stuff out there despite feeling bad and traumatized - thats something

... and really on top of that, havent so many of the great pieces of literature of this world Been that anyway? doom, melancholy, lements, depression feeling haunted trauma endless problems endless tragedy with seeminly no resolution a general feeling of doom and dispair, clearly heavily influenced by these authors own shit.... and yet, they are read by so many people so many times, for both their artistic quality sure, but their relatabilty and realness too, their rawness, so that we can sit with something which understands. if you feel like your story and your writing is all doom and dispair you wouldn't be the first one for sure; plenty of great writers kept that going for decades

...

you cant and shouldnt force art, it should come from the soul. if right now this is how it is bc youre not feelijg or doing better, then it is how it is and it still has value.... and maybe one day, and i really hope so and wish so for you, you'll be better, yea? you will feel more healed, more hopeful, more at peace, in less pain, less tired deep down. and maybe then, your art will change and reflect what you will be feeling inside moreso, you will be making more of that art which feels more hopeful abt things... but until then, i rly think its still worthwhile and meaningful to keep working on what you've been working on <3 its what ive been trying to tell myself too

[bathroomtrapped]

What if they didnt fight cary and convinced him to return for saw 3... Then, would the scenario "jigsaw kidnaps larrys family" become real? Then, then, would it be more awesome than his coming back in saw 3d? I guess the answers yes. I'll forever hate Larry's treachery.

if it went according to plan, allison is kidnapped again and lawrence takes the role of lynn where he cares for john (iirc). either way, yeah theyre involved again. not sure abt diana tho?

okay so, sorry to be That Guy. but lawrence as an apprentice makes the most sense for his character and the saw universe and im going to use this random ask to voice my opinion so thank you for using my ask box as a saw google lol

A LOT more under the cut

i DO with we got to see that version because it would mean more lawrence screentime and i genuinely do not dislike any saw content. idc how shitty saw x is, it could undo everything and shit all over it but i would NOT care. any content means an avenue to explore saw further

thats one of the main reasons the apprentice reveal was so good, in my opinion. before i get to why its great for lawrence, i want to point out why it works SO well for the other aspects. amanda is johns pseudo-daughter, he LOVED her like a father. we see it at the end of saw iii. no matter what he says, john does not forgive people. he punishes jill for losing their child but at the end of iii, we see him genuinely look at amanda with love and forgiveness. and yet? he never trusted her enough to tell her about lawrence. this random fucking guy who didnt even WIN, is the golden child. trusted with his wife!

as for mark, he is the definition of jigsaws philosophy. he may have jostled his victims around but he had the strongest will to live out of anyone and never relished in hurting them (crying after kidnapping paul + killing seth). another reason i like 3D is that he cant even look at jills corpse. his "game over" wasnt victorious. not like johns always is. YET he is not trusted. hes been there since before amanda, followed his rules, lived his philosophy and he was shafted again. i think the reveal does a lot of good for the apprentice-john dynamic for everyone involved.

secondly, JOHNS TESTS DONT WORK. CANONICALLY. they do not!! amanda says it herself. jigsaw traps make people worse, and not just bc thats a logical response to trauma. working for john amplifies everyones worst traits. amanda became a killer, mark grew to find some sort of enjoyment in killing (at the very least, it made him dependent on it for power and a sense of identity after the loss of his sister)

lawrences test was designed to show him what john said he was missing: empathy. he has none! he lies and doesnt care, he cant understand other peoples points of view, and he prioritizes his own whims and wants over everyone. CONSISTENTLY. so what happens when his tests presents him with the very definition of his heart and moral core, then asks him to kill him? he gets fucking worse!

lawrence is a narcissist. as in the personality disorder. he has low empathy (this is canonically the reason for his test!! not just "he cheated" or "he ignored john", he does these things for that reason) and god. just look at the symptoms, its like they made every scene an example of them on purpose. the idea that his game would be a wake up call and cause him to reflect and adjust his behaviors is just insane to me! within the canon logic of the story, and when taking into account his clear personality disorder... its the most logical choice (source: i have it and also i have eyes. SIDE SIDE note, my real source is that hes a clear parallel to john and john was evaluated for NPD in his psychiatric files in the saw game. so theres that) i think this has a lot to do with people not understanding low empathy. they cant understand why he would betray adam and join jigsaw

trauma wont change that overnight. getting fixed by john for 2 years without seeing the sun certainly wont help either

lawrence as an apprentice is the most logical progression of his character. he does what he wants and what he has to, at the expense of others. hes isolated from his wife and child. he cant understand other peoples prespective. he has an issue with guilt or feeling empathy for people, including those suffering like john. this wont change bc he experienced his first shred of empathy after MURDERING someone he got to know for 6 hours. low empathy =/= no empathy. thats like saying dude bros who do shrooms and experience empathy for the first time in their life are changed people. they arent lol

also the contrast between his game over vs marks 5 minutes earlier is SO important for their characters. theres so much good shit in that movie. take out the corny lines and jill mistreatment, and u have a lot to work with! so yes i do think that itd be more awesome. i love saw 3D and what it did for his character. im not sure how saw iii hostage lawrence wouldve expanded on his character, but id rather go with saw 3D bc im confident they didnt butcher his character. im glad that a beloved protagonist is a complete narc, and hes still beloved! im never giving that up

[actualbird]

//cn spoilers

hey zak!

the new pv had my friends & i looking at everything to try and figure out what the au might be about. we've pegged it down to a 1920s Mafia AU (and i hope it's true). But if it's really set in 1920s China err... Stellis, this AU is going to be chaotic. For the sake of my sanity I'm only gonna cover the shit that happens in Shanghai because it involves a gang so I can insert Marius in there xD.

First, 1920s was at the turning point that marks the end of 青帮 (green gang) rule over Shanghai (and yes, they were like the unofficial rulers in place of a real government).

Second, there was the two political parties, Nationalists vs Communists, fighting for control over the country. (temporarily forming an alliance against the other factions)

Third, a bunch of foreigners essentially split Shanghai after China lost the Opium Wars, so the French, the British, Japanese, and Americans all had a mini colony within the area (French Concessions, International Settlement), and they were basically colonizing the area, though it wasn't ever "official".

Finally, as the rotten cherry on top of this long-melted sundae nobody wants, due to the awful working conditions and shit wages that didn't even let you feed yourself, labor unions were standing up against foreigners and gangsters. there were hundreds of strikes with hundreds of thousands of workers alone in Shanghai in one year, demanding fair treatment.

No matter what year of the 1920s it's set in, shit is going down fast due to the aforementioned issues. Of course, if they get closer to 1930s, even more shit happens cause Communists and Nationalists stop being allies and turn against each other, and they'll recruit whoever they can to dispose of the other party.

With all that history said (HELP I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THAT LONG), I'd be really interested in seeing one of the boys represent each of the factions.

Luke as a political spy

Marius as head of the Pax Gang

Vyn as a foreigner

Artem as someone related to the workers (factory worker artem is a weird concept)

Rosa as someone close to the four, being different in every card ofc xD

irt the new cn server teaser

oh mANNNNN, pls first off i really appreciate the long rundown of history because aside from vaguely being familiar 1920s shanghai Look (from old movies and the like), i did not know anything about the legitimate history behind it. so, tot aside, this was a really interesting read :DDD

but taking it into consideration WITH tot, you are SO RIGHT THAT THE FACTIONS OF EACH BOY WILL BE INTERESTING!!

given that this will be adapted to stellis (maybe? idk, i didnt spoil myself on the actual plots of the bakerlon event, which also was a regional-historical au, did they just say it was london? or did they make a tot world version like uh.....lobdon..HVKSDJHFVSJDH), thatd be really cool cuz since im an insane person who constantly reads Big Data Lab entries, im aware that stellis city has a pretty interesting history.

orchidshine district was the city's birthplace, but it's not mentioned just how far back it had Begun. but by the 1930s, stellis city went through a Lot of development and was participating in international trade via stellis harbor (now called the airport district, because theres an airport there now. thanks for the creativity, stellis city govt jhvjhVKJH), which ended up turning into the hub for all commerce. by the 1970s, the fancier districts like hemingway heights and long beach are getting spruced up further

BUT WHILE ALL THAT IS HAPPENING. THERES A PLAGUE. in the 1930s, the trading via stellis harbor brought in the NXX gene which cause "a pandemic of an unprecedented scale" and all the consequences that come with a shitshow widescale pandemic

haha........

ANYWAY i bring that all up just cuz the 1930s seems like a perilous time in stellis' canon history, with many opportunities but also a lot of danger too. it'd be cool if they delved into that while incorporating some of the actual history of 1920s shanghai

also, your assignments for the boys are SO SPOT ON and im excited to see how this event's au plays out and how it will look like in the full card cgs and full event pv :DDD

(.....tho i most probably wont be spoiling myself for the actual stories HAHA, i quite like the experience of playing it on my own firsthand without knowing any spoilers beforehand. though ive broken this rule many times cuz a card just looked SO DAMN COMPELLING JHVKJVKJH)

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Im about to watch RWBY Volume 9 because I need some background noise while I translate a german version of Jesus Christ Superstar and then I remembered that I watched that RWBY DC crossover a few days ago as background noise while I made my lyric videos and then I wanted to make a post about my thoughts but then I just. never did. So I might as well do it now

Before that though, I feel the need to explain myself and my lyric-video-translation process. Basically, what I do is I pick my song that Id like to translate from german to english and then I make what is essentially a normal lyric video, which involves a lot of me listening to the song a bunch of times so I can make sure everything is properly synched up, in this particular case I actually had to listen to the entirety of the song in order to make sure it was actually synched because something went horribly wrong with my editing app and I couldnt figure out how to fix it. And then once Im done with my lyric video I can just kinda turn the audio off and add my english translation without worrying about anything because Ive already synched everything up properly. When I do musical soundtracks like this I usually synch up all the lyrics for all the songs first before getting to the actual translation process, which means theres a long period of time where Im just kinda listening to the same part over and over, except worse and it took me even longer this time because again, something went wrong and I had to listen to the songs from the beginning, otherwise it just inexplicably wouldnt synch up, and because I have a low attention span Im usually watching youtube videos or movies Ive already seen at this point

Now, I was still in the lyric video stage when I watched this movie (I was doing Pilate and Christ if youre curious) so picture this: im sitting in front of my computer, I have this RWBY DC crossover open in some piracy site bc I was looking for A Movie and this one came out recently so it was on the front page, I have my tablet with the lyric video Im about to make in front of me, Im wearing headphones, one of them isnt actually on my ear because I need to be able to hear both the song and the movie at the same time, Im playing the song over and over again as I watch the movie, slowly zoning out entirely the further I get into it because thats just kinda what happens when youre forced to listen to the same first two minutes of a song even when you do have some background noise to break up the monotony a little

The reason Im giving you that long winded explanation of the boring shit I do for fun is because I want to stress to you that I was practically physically incapable of properly paying attention to anything. So you would think that I would also be incapable of finding shit to criticize or complain about, after all, I barely managed to watch the movie

And you would be very wrong. Im gonna be honest I just wrote that long intro to whatever this is in like 20 minutes and Ive already run out of steam so please enjoy this bullet point list of mostly shit I didnt like about this crossover, as someone who doesnt know anything about DC and also didnt pay a lot of attention just in general

The Justice Leagues semblances were so bad you can tell they just kinda took their existing superpowers, barely if at all modified them and went "yep, those are semblences alright" and as a result Superman, Wonderwoman and Green Lantern all basically have the same semblance, which inexplicably consists of multiple unrelated abilities and also Vixen's semblance seems pretty similar to theirs as well

The dialogue was so awkward man, I know some stan is gonna try and defend it by being like "well none of these people know each other ofc theyre gonna be awkward" guess what, i dont care if you can like stuff about this show for no reason I can dislike stuff about this show for no reason

That weird love triangle between Nora, Ren and Cyborg was so weird and unnecessary and idk why it was there

'Weird, unecessary and idk why it was there' is honestly a great way to describe this whole movie, I dont get why they did this Isekai thing with the Justice League I feel like this wouldve been better if they were already just characters in RWBY's world but I guess then neither continuity would be able to really consider it canon which would be bad I guess??? Idk i think this crossover thing was a bad idea tbh and they shouldve made it more of a cross-promotional thing where its like "lookat the RWBYfied versions of these DC characters!!" "oooooo look at the DCified versions of these RWBY characters!!" for one movie each if you know what I mean

Speaking of pointless romance, I saw some people say that they didnt like the weird romantic subplot between Bruce and Weiss but honestly, I didnt even see one there they had less romantic sparks flying between them than Bumbleby and thats saying a lot, not that I was paying too much attention

Ive seen some DC fans say that Bruce's thing about him maybe not wanting to leave Remnant because hes got powers there was really out of character and idk anything about that, I just know that that whole thing was pointless and barely set up and didnt mean anything at all for anyone

Ruby's arc about learning to be a better team leader is something that she shouldve had in like volume 4 max this is too late into the show for the Main Character whos been leading A Team since basically day one to learn how to do it, then again its not like shes gotten any meaningful screentime in the past 9 years so maybe that justifies it

Killgore or Killg%re or whatever was just cringe

When Killgore was explaining his plan and how he was working with someone and then it turned out that he was actually trapped in this VR world by that someone, I thought, oh its probably Salem given that shes yknow, the main villain. I mean, it doesnt really make sense why she would do all this shit but its not like her motivations and actions have ever been consistent right. And then he was like "he" and I went, its fucking Ironwood?? Are you joking?? Like, yeah, I'll give them a smidge of credit here, that does make more sense but I hate how these guys' weird desire to demonize Some Guy gets in the way of even attempting to make The Actual Main Villain even remotely threatening. Someone tell MKEK that sidelining a female character in favor of a male character isnt suddenly less sexist because shes Satan Herself but they wanna villanize the "shitty white guy" instead

The action scenes were decent enough, obviously nowhere near the level of Volume 1-3s fightscenes but Ive definitely seen worse from RWBY at this point

I guess the mystery aspect was fine too I was atleast kinda intrigued

And to end this whole thing on a somewhat positive note, heres some stuff I actually kinda liked:

While the isekai thing honestly doesnt seem like a good idea, it was still kinda fun watching people from a setting more similar to our world interact with Remnant and try to blend in even though they had no idea what was going on

I kinda liked Barry, he was pretty fun

I really liked Jessica, her finding that ring and saying that rhyming incantation actually gave me goosebumps, her VA was really good. I just wish she didnt spend all her screentime with Jaune and also I wish Jaune died already

I liked that they were wearing their Beacon Era outfits for most of it so I didnt have to endure their absolutely horrendous Atlas outfits although I am about to watch Volume 9 and they dont get an outfit change from what Ive seen so. You cant run from your problems forever I guess

Thats about it, but to bring this thing full circle Id like to once again elaborate on my lyric video translation stuff. Right now Im fully done with the lyric videos and all I gotta do is add in the english translations which I can do without needing to listen to the music, which means I can actually listen to the dialogue at the very least even if Im not properly looking at the screen. I was originally gonna do the same thing with Volume 9 as the crossover movie which is to say, blast music while watching and fully zoning out half the time but I figured the actual volume deserves a little more respect than that. I mean, thats still not a lot but RT isnt getting any more than this from me

[ficauthor]

Im watching gravity falls for the first time but i have some knowledge. (ie im reckless and look at tags knowing there is spoilers lol)

I know there are two grunkles both possibly named some variation of stan. One with six fingers and that one fucked a triangle. i also tjink theyre exes? Or like theres a book that says they are. Either way ?

I know theres books and the other stan(?) wrote them? There is... A portal? And it somehow facilitated the situationship betwixt man and angle.

Bearded man also fucked stans twin? the picture i have of stan 2 the squeakwel is just of a messy messy man who has alot to clean up from his ho era.

I also know that things are about to go very very wrong. It hasnt yet cause im only up to fight fighters but like i feel in my bones something more than the 8.5th president is going to occure

anyways I've had thoughts.

One: robbie is fucking hilarious. Hes 15 deeply deeply insecure and beefing with a Twelve yearold. Like you won. You got wendy to say yes to a date theres negative reason to challenge a child to a fight. Hilarious cant wait for him to lay awake at night and cringe at that memory. especially bc dipper giving her a black eye was his wingmanning! Funny dude cant wait to see what happens with his disaster of an ass. (also during the time travel ep i was like damn robbie can suck a little but hes not that bad. Timing was strange but him asking out wendy was kinda sweet. Then fight fighters happened lol. Man is so wrapped up in making a child feel bad he ignored his gf. Terrible give me five more.)

Two: holy shit the wax figure thing mustve been so upsetting for grunkle stan. Like he shrieked upon seeing it! He crawled away backwards. I might be reading to far into that but he seemed scared (?). I love how quick he recovered for mabels sake tho their dynamic is so sweet. Shes a little weird girls and hes like taking her under his wing. the definition of dad who didnt want a pet. I love how they understand each other.

Did he wonder, even for a moment, if it was his dead/missing brother??? Like i have brothers if we still looked alike enough to be twin levels of similar and someone made a statue of me id also scream. Also like his investment in having the "murder" solved feels so weird knowing he has a mysterious disapeared twin. his investment feels heavier. Like hes projecting his grief.

Does watching Mabel and Dipper interact happily make him miss other stan? also how do other family members feel about this diapearance? Clearly bad since they never told dipper and mabel. But them being the grunkles implies they have at least on more sibling. Howd they feel about the disappearance?

I cant wait to get more details on those two. i feel like their relationship has to be all levels of fucked for him to never mention having a twin. Like no matter how mad i was with my bros id fucken mention them at least once even by accident to their nibblings.

Three: i like how often mabels outfit changes i love her silly themed sweaters and fun earrings. The cross fingers gag on the back of her sweater after lying to her grunkle stan made me laugh. Shes so weird and fun and loud and i love her. Dispite now being a guy i see myself in weird little girl characters. Like yeah i too would've glued a hot glue gun tomyself and wore chips as earrings. I too would have lost my mind over losing my pig. delightful i adore her randomness.

Four: dipper is equally relatable but in a way that makes me scream lol. His anxietys are so familiar to me hope he sees someone for that. And that book cannot be helping. The author was clearly paranoid and while dipper wrote that he trusts mabel i worry that he wont always.

I dont have a five but i might reblog in a few eps and rambke further

[pandora-dark-shorts]

Apeshit

Log Entry 237: Cara Costabile, Team Leader Spartan Fireteam Switchback

Lost another one today. Its been a pretty shitty week rounding up the last of the real resistance of the covantant. Down 1 Spartan 3, one 4, 4 Marines and an ODST. This last one hurt more though. Terry. Guy was an idiot, but he was our idiot. Everything was a joke to him. But he would turn serious so quick it could almost make your head spin. And he was a hell of a shot. Better than most Spartans I'll admit. The guy could knock an apple off a tree a click away and you could catch it and eat it. Trust me I know from experience. There was no one I'd rather have watching my back than that Helljumper. The amount of times hes pulled through for us...

He was even the first one to talk to Krel'tarus, our resident Brute, and his clan. Covenant defectors that believed the Arbiter's message. We weren't too happy about being stuck with these guys. But he didnt seem to mind. Hes always the bigger person, no matter what. They really didnt want much to do with him until the day he went over and said "fight me you big ape" in their language. They almost died of laughter. They were instantly friends after that. They started socializing a little more. Mostly with the Helljumpers. I guess they saw themselves more on par with the rank of the odst before the Elite deranking. More in common.

They accompanied us on some of our missions, and we on theres. They would give us hot spots like ammo depots and food storage planets. Eventually we started looking at each other as allies. There was some rough stuff but it all smoothed out eventually. But not like with Terry. He was basically one of them. They did all kinds of shit with each other from Brute games to target practice.

Until yesterday. We were watching a Covy shield and grenade production factory from 3 clicks out on a mountaintop. Ships were in and out all day. Every once in a while a grunt would come out and toss a couple dozen grenades of different types one at a time into a hole and wait for the explosions. Quality control, I guessed.

I gave the orders to move down the backside of the mountain and we trecked to the factory perimeter via jungle. Nothing happened the whole way there. No roaming patrols. No hidden traps on the perimeter. I comm'd Krel and said we were moving in. 2 other Snipers in the group had designated spots up high and Terry was to come in with us and get up on a high overhang the Brutes said would be near the entrance. The mission was to clear the place and wait for another team of Marines to come take over watch for the defected Elites and Grunts to run it. No prisoners.

Everything was shit. There were WAY more than we had anticipated in there. But it was going as planned until the 3 biggest damn Elites I had ever seen jumped down onto the floor. One biggest one went down as soon as he hit it, courtesy of Terry. The other 2 looked directly at him. They sent a flurry of needles at him and he jumped down. But i saw one of them hit him in the stomach. I watched him hit the ground on his side with an audible thump. Then his body jumped to the left a bit. The Brutes all stopped fighting to look at him. A few seconds later the Elites noticed the action and fired another volley. The entire rest of the needler's capacity.

A Brute, I believe his name was Ba'ras, lept further than i had ever seen one go. He basically flew to Terry's body and arched himself over him on his hands and knees facing away from the Elites. He took the whole barrage to his back. The needles pulsed as one and exploded, tearing out his whole back, he slumped forward, making almost a tent for Terry.

Then, the Brutes lost it. They went absolutely apeshit for lack of a better term. Every one of them let out an ear piercing roar, my sound dampening kicked in like a bomb went off. They took off as one. I saw Krel get to the first Elite. He dodged a plasma bolt and grabbed him by the arm. He pushed him down to the ground like he was a little kid. Then he tore his left arm and third mandible off and proceeded to beat him to death with it. He picked him up by his legs and tore him down the middle. The strength that must have took. He used half of that elite like it was a grav hammer. Crushing Grunts and slamming it into other Elites.

The other Brutes where no less a spectacle. Ripping arms, legs, and heads off. Slamming machinery down on everyone they could find. 2 of them picked up a spectre and tossed it. 1 of them struggled and thrashed at a grunt that was hiding behind a very large machine entering another room. He saw the giant metal door and took off back toward us. He shoulder charged it with everything he had. It barely budged. The Grunt taunted him. 2 more Brutes noticed and ran at it with him. 2 trys and the door caved in. I watched as they all beat it into a pile of mush. It was all over the room.

Not to let them have all the action, we join in while our medic went to Terry. Bullets flew, bodies broken. One Brute almost turned on me before he saw who I was. He gave me a giant blood smeared smile as he banged his chest once in salute and ran off with a leg to be someone elses bad day. They were all covered in blood and bodily fluids. There wasnt a single part of the place that didnt have some part of something somewhere.

Then it was done. The Brutes had a hell of a time coming down from the berserk. Marines checks corridors and rooms. Krel remembered Terry and rushed over to him. He jumped damn near a third of the floor. Terry lay on the floor with a large hole in his stomach. He was still alive. Barely. The medic handed Krel his pistol, rifle and ODST patch. "He said to make sure you get these".

Terry coughed several times and managed to sputter out a, "hey you big ape", before coughing again. "You probably couldnt get your big ass fingers into the trigger guard, but you could probably use it as a club. And you could find something to do with the pistol. Maybe make it into a knife".

Krel spoke in a tone of voice that I could only describe as the deepest kind of respect. Peaceful. "You died well, Brother. I can only hope to do the same. My inheritance will find great use". Terry smiled, closed his eyes, and stopped breathing.

"I surrender", a voice yelled to our left. "I surrender to you". It was an Elite. The hide and seek champion of the day. Krel looked at Terry's rifle. He carefully bent the barrel all the way back and held the stock as he hefted it.

He walked toward the Elite and it got on its knees. Krel leaned down and asked, "do you see that human", and pointed to Terry's body.

The Elite looked over to us, and then at Terry. He acknowledged with a click of his mandibles. "The Imp. Yes."

"There was more honor in that human than there was in the entire Covenant fleet." Krel arced and swung the rifle, connecting with the Elites head and liberating it from his body. He walked away as the body dropped to the floor.

A pelican few in overhead and landed outside the factory. Marines came out and walked over to us. They looked on in horror at the scene before them. "I like the decor", a familiar voice said. I turned to see Master

Sergeant Wallace Escobar admiring the mess we made.

"I know what you like", I replied with a hint of malice. "Plant is clear. 1 casualty. It was mostly the Jiralhanae that did the decorating".

He took another look around and said, "Got damn they fucked this place up. Something must have struck a nerve cause this is some next level shit. Is that... is that a grunt over there?"

"It was a grunt", i explained, "It is now the embodiment of navy food. Kinda looks like someone mashed meatloaf with Jello huh? The casualty was the reason this place looks like a ravehouse. We lost Terry."

"Dammit", he said. "Finest sniper I'd ever met. Better than most spartans. And a great man in general. Had many late nights with him and a good bottle of whiskey. Hope he went down swinging."

"He single handedly took down the biggest Sangheilli I had ever seen", Krel said with pride as he walked by with his new club. "They were personal guards of the Prophets at one time. No other human can claim that feat. Not even your Demon. Those were not your general Sangheilli. You should be proud to have had such a warrior among your group."

Escobar stood up taller. An interaction like this wasn't a common occurrence. I honestly dont know if it was an occurrence at all. Let alone a high ranking Brute commending a human soldier like this. Krel walked up into the Pelican with the rest of the Brutes and it took off. Another taking its place.

The marines in it disembarked and we climbed in. Terry's bag was placed in the center and strapped down. It was going to be a long ride home.

[avo-kat]

ok so ive started watching ultra q and its actually p fun?

theres no ultraman in here, but thats actually kinda cool, too?

cuz instead of super hero coming and saving the day its just normal people running into a monster and going "oh shit oh fuck oh no what are gonna die oh shit we are gonna die fuck what should we do" and they somehow make it through

the main characters are a woman working as a newspaper reporter/photographer. in the first ep she almost died to a monster induced cave in and monster attack and in the third ep when she heard about another monster sighting she immediately volunteered to go and take photos

and when they do find the monster - and two dead guys, nobody really reacts with a lot of shock or fear - and they start running, she just stops to take some pictures

the other characters are... employees at an airport? mituya air service it said on one poster.

its funny how theres barely any explanation. nobody says who anybody is. one guy picks up a ringing phone and just "yes hello this is the office"

one guy that seems to wear a cop uniform is being questioned by reporters about some object falling into the ocean and just says "ah yes we shot a rocket to mars 6 months ago, this is the capsule that came back"

like. who is this guy? no name used. he didnt introduce himself. is this the government? military? i have no idea.

i guess watchers back in 1966 would have known based on the uniform? maybe?

also reporter girl and airport guy are both wearing some eagle patch on their clothes. but they work at different places? are both places gov funded? how does a newspaper company keep on hiring airplanes and helicopters?

the real mystery is figuring out the setting lol.

and even though the show is super old, the production quality is obviously extremely high and it still looks absolutely amazing now. and whats more: the episodes themselves feel fresh. or maybe its because i dont watch stuff like that.

but in ep 3 they encounter a monster snail from mars and they run away from it. pilot guy shoots at it with a gun (so military after all? or does he just carry a gun? why did pilot guy go in with reporter girl to check out the monster? is that in his job description? what kinda job is that?) until he runs out of bullets. then he straight up throws the gun at the snail.

thats hilarious? like, i wouldnt be surprised seeing it nowadays. it would be a bit tiring in a comedy show, but played straight in a monster show its kinda refreshing.

and they kept running away from the snail on this steep cliffs until it... accidentally fell down into the ocean. where it dissolved. probably because of the salt? thats fucking hilarious.

like its not a deep show, the episodes are only 25min, the formula seems pretty basic, so dont expect a masterpiece or anything, but its kinda entertaining.

also look at this?

they took out the capsule and then we have... this scene of people gathered in a space themed room. and they have name plates. "doctor". "observer". "press". thats so stupid its funny?

also no explanation given who is who and what is even this.

at the end of this scene the doc just gives us the theory that the capsule and the stuff inside (modern fabric and two gold eggs) came from the future? he did not elaborate any further.

like. the future?

thats... your theory?

at least thats what the subs say.

and later...

???

ok so we just agree aliens are on mars and aliens send them snail eggs? and the world... moves on? i guess it will come up but. lol. they are just sitting there and chilling. thats so funny.

docs says the aliens could be annoyed that humans are sending out rockets. lol. what. lol. doctor where did u study alienology. "its just a hypothesis". ok thanks.

second pilot guy suggests to befriend the alien society.

yuri straight up tells him it prob wont be possible, cuz humans suck since theres still racial discrimination, they still have wars and human trafficking and earth prob needs to get more peaceful.

lmaoooo

second pilot guy, ippei, picked up a lil gold ball at the office and put a chain on it and gifted it to yuri. bro??? omfg. you find gold at the office and just... take it? lol.

the end is just... "as humans will continue their space exploration more monsters will come. alas."

amazing. 10/10.

[pesterloglog]

Autoresponder, Jake English

Act 6, page 5057-5062

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

TT: Hold up.

TT: Before you go any further, there's been a change of plan.

GT: Oh why am i not surprised!

GT: Still no human dirk?

TT: Don't worry, you'll see him very soon. In a way.

GT: What is the change of plan?

TT: Well, not a change of plan so much as an acceleration.

TT: Everyone needs to get into the game sooner than expected. There is a new unaccounted for variable.

GT: I see. Variables and what not.

GT: Lets cut to the chase! What do i do.

TT: Install the server. I downloaded it to your computer along with a few other crucial system upgrades.

GT: Crucial upgrades huh?

GT: I dunno about crucial buddy i see you have trolled me with like 50 copies of this dumbfuck social media software for cool bros in hats but ok.

TT: Damn. Nothing gets by English.

TT: The guy is untrollable.

GT: Ok i installed it should i run it?

TT: Yes.

TT: You will be connecting with Dirk. I will have Jane connect with Roxy. Setting up the chain like this will be important.

GT: Sure if you say so.

TT: That copy is programmed to connect automatically with the client Dirk is running.

TT: Do it quickly. His life depends on it.

GT: Great caesars ghost! Why didnt you say so.

GT: Ok done.

GT: Hey theres his room!

GT: Heh heh. Id recognize that room anywhere.

GT: Horses puppets holy smokes there is a man who knows what he likes.

TT: Damn straight.

GT: But where is he?

GT: I dont see him elsewhere in the place.

GT: Lots of priceless sbahj merch though im so jealous.

TT: I'll see about hooking you up when you join the game. No promises, though. He's pretty attached to all that shit.

TT: He has not yet transcended the primitive desire for material goods, as he is not two conjoined triangles of pure unflappable logic.

GT: What?

TT: Sorry.

TT: As a pair of overly intellectual triangles, sometimes my wording can be a bit...

TT: Obtuse.

TT: 🕶️

GT: Lol!

GT: Just joking bro that sucked.

GT: How do i find dirk and save his life?

TT: Zoom out.

TT: Way out.

GT: Eureka!!!!!

GT: Youre right he sure does look to be in a thorough pickle.

GT: My impulse is to message him now but youre kind of bogarting his chumhandle so i dont even know how to do that?

TT: He's concentrating on some things happening on Derse at the moment.

TT: Not to mention some uncannily similar things going down on Earth, which it seems you have noticed.

TT: He's also talking to someone, trying to appraise the exact nature of the threat.

TT: Unfortunately as a carbon based life form, his comprehension of the situation is taking shape at a somewhat slower pace than the jaw-dropping speed of post-singularity cognition.

TT: So I am taking the reins and accelerating the plan on his behalf, while he's busy with the corporeal stuff as usual.

GT: Ok then how do i help?

TT: Deploy all the devices in the Phernalia Registry. Ideally in places that aren't stupid.

TT: Do it quickly, so he can activate the entry sequence and escape.

GT: I will have them deployed lickety split.

GT: That flaming ocean is nothing to sneeze at.

GT: It is fixing to burn his... uh. Skeletal highrise thing right the heck down.

TT: Really, the fire is not the most significant threat.

GT: Oh. Are more robots on the way?

TT: No.

TT: Do you see the red stringy stuff coming from the sky?

GT: Um...

TT: Are you blind? It's right there, Jake.

GT: Oh!

GT: You mean the super deadly red shit?

TT: Yes. The super deadly red shit.

GT: Say no more.

GT: I understand the threat and will now spring into action guns blazing.

GT: Well maybe not guns blazing.

GT: The guns and how they blaze will be metaphors for my tenacity and gumption as an elite gamer.

TT: Just fuckin' deploy the stuff, you humongous dork.

GT: There we are. No sweat.

TT: Cool.

GT: Haha! He did a thumbs up at me.

GT: Hey buddy!

GT: Say hey buddy to him.

TT: Ok.

TT: He says hey.

GT: Sweet.

GT: Now what?

TT: Stand by. He may need further assistance once he begins the sequence.

GT: How long will that take?

TT: Once he's ready. I'll try to nudge him along, but unfortunately, the fact that he is me notwithstanding, Dirk can be just as sluggish and uncooperative as the rest of you god damned meat mannequins.

GT: Understood. That being as it is in the meantime i think ill poke into one of these transporty doodads.

TT: What?

TT: No, you fickle fuckwit.

TT: Stay your ass put.

GT: Whoa what is THIS place?

GT: Things sure are a rumblin here in this enchanted purple palace.

GT: I cant believe i never found those hidden transport pads under the thing.

TT: Dude, I could have told you they were there.

GT: How did you know about them?

TT: I didn't.

TT: But it's like platformer gaming 101. You look everywhere for secret passages and power-ups and shit.

TT: Elevators are especially fucking suspicious.

TT: You go down an elevator, you wait for the elevator to go back up, you take a peek at what's underneath.

TT: Maybe it's just death spikes. Or maybe you hit warp zone paydirt.

GT: You are so wise. I will never be as elite of a game bro as you.

TT: I'm not a Game Bro. I just know literally everything about basically all subjects.

TT: Now go back where you came from. Dirk might need help.

GT: Will you untwist your virtual knickers. I have everything under control.

GT: I think this may be where my grandma used to go during some of her expeditions.

GT: You dont just pass up the chance for an adventure like this!

TT: Yes, Jake. You do.

TT: How much deeper down the damn bunny hole do you need to go? There is no White Rabbit waiting for you here.

GT: We will just see about THAT.

GT: Besides i have my skulltop with me so i can swoop in to assist dirk at any time!

TT: This is an atrocious idea.

[nicekaylee]

july fucking 31st

it's 2 am

after the show i said fuck all of THIS

and went on a fucking vacation. and getting therapy

and it's been going pretty sick, therapy not started. but anyways thats a write up for another day. im just going to talk about something specific that happened today.. im so pissed, and heartbroken.

CONTEXT

in my past 3 years of wasting my life on this god damn album, someone i knew a bit lit up my life in the last year,2022. this girl. the way she dresses just opened up a new sense of inspiration for me that ive never had before. so i get to know her a bit more once we hang out, and then i get to know how similar our interest in things are. we talk on the phone, and it's really nice. i knew after my birthday that this girl was someone special to me. and even though she's inspiration, i wanted to know i wanted to be there to care for her and be a closer companion, especially after knowing her past history and how i feel like she may have not felt that. fast forward 10 fucking months and im no where closer. in fact, even further away. i bet this girl doesn't think about me at all. and i'm just confused cause she barely shows any emotion at all. like one of the hardest people to understand, yet im still so invested. but it's getting very one sided. I got very depressed after my birthday, and then super focused on my album so i had little social life.. if any at all. not one message of empathy from her.. a couple of times seeing her, but never alone.. but whatever that's not the real point of the story. that was all just context. THE REAL STORY

so it's july 2023 i can't look at her as a friend, cause i have too many feelings. we talk minimally but theres a group chat thats kinda our saving grace. and just recently, she started med school in galveston. fuck. during my vacation, i'm trying to enjoy my life more. ive always wanted to wait till after my album is done, where i feel like my life will be easier, but now a days im thinking.. fuck that. i'm tired of waiting to be in the right time of my life because i can't bottle these feelings any longer. like fr this shit is bothering me so much. i'm getting older and just wishing and having this crush with no substance makes no sense.

so i need to tell her asap.

i wanted to see her in galveston. somehow ended up into a group friend thing to visit her in galveston, then her mom shut that down.

because she is in the most complicated situation literally not meant for dating at all. no car, mom takes her everywhere, curfew as fuck,her mom doesnt even want her around guys, what the actual fuck. but fuck it, she makes time to hang out in houston..for like 2 hours.. but i appreciate it honestly i understand her life situation.

TODAY she pulls up to my friends house with her brother cause her moms a freak about her going out. it's another group hangout. how tf am i gonna tell her my feelings?? anyways,

i mention i went to galveston and she seems UPSET THAT I DIDNT TELL HER?? CAUSE SHE COULDA MADE A WAY TO SEE ME..

NOW SHE WANTS TO SEE ME? WTF. idk dude it's so hard to understand her. so that was some good insight. but it's the past so whatever..

we play mario party on the switch. finish and it's about time to go. i whip out a surprise bag with gifts i wanted to treat my 2 other friends and her with! snacks for one, a fork for another, and i got her these super cute pens. she seemed to like them! she then says i didn't have to get this cause she knows im broke. WTF. honestly, shit was funny. idc but then she starts talking to me or us about some more details of her school life. she seems to always looks at me more. like most of the time. i LOVE that, but i have no clue how basic that is for her. she tells me shes finally gonna start her dream cover band, which is sick, love to hear that. someone said i should do a cover band.. i made a face and was going to say i actually do plan on it--

THEN SHE FUCKING CUTS ME OFF. AND FUCKING SAYS I SHOULD MAKE CUTE JINGLES FOR MY GIRLFRIEND(S)?? LIKE HALLMARK CARDS w pretty messages and simple JINGLES?? .....WHAT THE FUCK...

im staring at her like about to fucking lose my mind... cause i want to do that FOR HER. i almost impulsivey confess everything i feel to her. but everyone was right around me, her brother too. and i didn't know if it would be bad for her brother to hear..and have him spread info to her mom ..which will fuck her over more. i didn't wanna do that. so i just calmed down and played dumb. she left and said it's gonna be a long time till she'll see us again. what the fuck. im so mad. my friends said i shoulda just told her right there.. but idk it was so much random pressure and i wanted to be courteous and not fuck her over..

but jesus fucking christ im so mad. or some other word to describe how riled up that got me. this woman needs to know how i feel. i actually dont give a fuck anymore. im a grown dude and that annoys me that this is all weird puzzle solving teenage shit. cause if she was hinting, fuck her so im going to galveston this wednesday. giving her A SPECIAL hallmark card with a beautiful art of her and a BEAUTIFUL SONG only for her. not for OTHER girlfriends.. FOR HER. she is the one i want to make these things for . she needs to know shes the one i care about. before some asshole gets to her in galveston. honestly i actually dont care. i just wanna make sure she knows how special she is to me. that'll give me peace of mind. and she says no, then honestly im okay. anyways im doing it. wednesday. cant bottle this in anymore. i really hope she lets me see her man. i just want to let her know how special she is to me. it'll hurt my heart knowing if i never did anything. and maybe she'll share something loving as well

maybe