#theres really good ones out there I promise!
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Had an idea and wanted to pester you about it (I’m kidding, I hope I’m not actually pestering you). What if you were to write a cute snow day blurb for Stug? Set in between S3 and S4? I ask because it’s currently snowing where I’m at and just thought “dang, that’d be so cute.”
you could never pester me i loooove answering blurbs <33 now if i may pester you i changed the timeline to between seasons 2 and 3 because i couldnt resist the idea of pre-dating steve n bug playing in the snow together n being all shy n cutie ugh
enjoy !
"its snowing," steve leans your desk chair back, nearly tipping over completely as he peers out your window. "like. a lot."
theres a mound of assignments on your desk and you only spare a quick glance outside. "oh," your absent minded tone doesnt go unnoticed by steve. "thats nice."
he narrows his eyes. "i thought you loved snow."
"i do," this time more genuineness comes through your voice. you look outside again and ache when you see just how snow has fallen. "but..."
your head tilts down to the work scattered between you and steve. youre insanely behind on calculus assignments and steve has a lab report three weeks overdue and today is the first real day your injuries from demodogs and billy have healed enough to even attempt to understand what a derivative is.
jonathan is stuck at home taking care of will and promised you hed help you with the math as soon as he was able, but now, with all the snow that inevitably will block the roads, you know youre doomed.
steve sees the stress that tenses your spine and an idea pops into his head. he snatches the homework from you and is running out of your room.
"what the-?" but hes already gone, annoyingly fast when he wants to be.
you run after steve, having no other option, really, and find him and dustin rushing to put their coats on.
"shes here!" dustin screeches when he sees you. he shoves at steve, urging him to hurry up, and your mother watches fondly from the kitchen.
you push past your brother. "what is happening?"
steve zips up coat and winks at you, giving no response other than flinging the front door open and chasing dustin through the snow. theyre gone in a heartbeat, giggling like children as they fucking prance through the falling snow.
"id join them if i were you, y/n." your mom says with a slight chuckle. "steve told me to hide your homework until you were 'soaked in snowflakes'."
your jaw drops. "mom-"
"im sorry, sweet girl." she laughs at you now. "blame that handsome boy of yours and go play with your brother outside. itll be good to get some fresh air!"
"but-"
"wear a coat!"
and then your mother shuts her bedroom door, leaving you to watch steve tackle dustin into the snow as they shriek and wrestle in the slippery ground.
"my eye!" steve squeals in pain, rolling around, and dustin giggles menacingly. feeling your eyes on him, steve flings a distressed hand towards you. "y/n, help a guy out here, would ya?"
even though he cant see you, you still roll your eyes at steve. dustin echoes his own sentiments of wanting you to join. the boys plead with you over and over and youre weak to them.
sighing, you grab your heaviest coat. "if either one of you even thinks about tackling me, youre dead."
dustin salutes you. "yes, ma'am."
you help steve up. his hand is cold and his nose red and eyes shining and you cant help but giggle slightly at the sight of him. theres flecks of snow that line his brown hair and hes a delicate kind of pretty that rivals the spiral of snowflakes.
"saved me again, angel." he winks at you again, causing you to blush.
"shut up." you shove at his chest, avoiding his tender eyes. they reveal more to you than you know hes ready to admit.
steve laughs and dustin throws a snowball at your face and everything is warm and soft.
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﹂blurb masterlist
﹂if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎
#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#ask#tyrian-witch#m speaks#m's writing#come home blurb#set in between seasons 2 and 3 !#babies babies BABIES :((((((
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hello hello!!! random question before i get started on work haha
how do you come up with dialogue for ur hms comics? the back n forth of them feels so heavy and realistic. especially the casualness paired with the bleeding-brooding (alliteration for fun) violence makes everything just. hit. in a tragic and hopeless way imo. it’s so neat :0
i’ve been trying that kind of writing out a bit lately too. this is what i’ve managed with my iambic pentameter gang (hms but rain world iterator). MiND is being threatened by the rage pent up inside himself. and, strangely enough, it has the voice of HeART.
constructive feedback is welcome ^_^!
once again, hello hello! sending good wishes and all :]. i love ur work ^_^ 💛
oooo hmm... this isnt something ive ever really thought about trying to explain, thank you for the question! big fan of the posing in the piece youve added here btw, i like the alliteration in 'heliocentric heathen' B:•∆
honestly the way i go about writing them isnt something i feel i can put into words with a clear structure of process... often with my comics it starts with me simply having a vague idea of 'i want to make a comic today', and drawing what feels right to lead into it. the words typically link in with the actions as well - i usually draw something, draw the next thing, write a bit of dialogue, draw the next thing, write more dialogue.... not in that exact order but the words always feel to be a reaction to the actions and the actions are a reaction to the words (and/or, words and actions work in tandem). people rarely talk in a vacuum, especially when theyre having the conversation in person, so i find it helpful to see the actions as part of the dialogue and vice versa.
occasionally ive scripted out dialogue beforehand (always with actions included within the script.) but even with a script what actually is said needs to adjust with whats been drawn. when i dont write with a script (which is the norm), its often while im drawing the next frame that im thinking over whats being said. typically i just go over and over a sentence mentally, adjusting bits until it feels right, looking at it once its written on the page and adjusting it more if necessary.
perhaps a bit vague? apologies! i do have certain mental rules i try keep in mind for each of the threes characters while writing. 'how would heart respond, how would he word this? mind? i cant word it this way because i know he doesnt do this...' <subconscious questions and thoughts but they are important to keep in mind. i find it the most helpful to keep the core traits i personally see in them in mind, and let those traits kind of... guide what is said. if i think of how that collection of traits and facets would respond to something, the vague concept that creates can then go through the filters of dialogue traits i have in mind for them. ...ehhh, put more simply... 'what is the general response this character would have to this situation' and then 'how would they structure that response through words and/or actions?'.
i, being who i am, cccc being what it is, am somewhat naturally inclined to writing grim and bleeding-brooding (nice word) things. i also consider myself to be quite a grounded person, which i hope comes through in my work! however, natural inclinations aside, cccc itself is quite a bleeding-brooding album (at least it is to me). its one about depression and self hatred and it really doesnt pull many punches in that respect. or at least, thats my read on it! as a result, that becomes reflected in my interpretation of hms. however, id also note that cccc is silly at times, theres humor in it. all good grim things need a bit of levity to really make it feel Real... people joke in the worst of times, not just the best, and it really helps in writing serious things to have just a little bit of joke to it, even if its not immediately noticable... this is hard to really give examples of honestly but it is relevant i promise. im unsure if youve read much of my writing aside from my comics, but theres just a bit of absurdity and humor in both my cccc pieces that would make the writing feel sorely lacking without in my opinion. notable with how violent and tense both those pieces are.
lots of words now! hopefully helpful ones B:•] or at least interesting! ill try write out some of the core traits and details i keep in mind when writing hms so as to give better reference points to all my prior words:
heart: reactive, not instigative. he doesnt start fights, he finishes them. he also doesnt need an insane amount of prompting to get going... but he does need prompting. apathetic, a bit fanciful. hes depressed, and not in a cute way. he talks casually but he uses serious words. no point in simplifying his language - he wants to be taken seriously, and while he makes himself look small and weak at times he is Not weak and he is Not small. hes just as much of a wordsmith as the other two. he covers his mouth when he speaks sometimes, and he puts his hand over his chest... a bit defensive? muffling his own input, but notably he still speaks. lies by omission or by twisting facts - if full honesty helps his case, thats what he uses. if a white lie works better... i personally see him as a bit of a planner too. sometimes his reaction to things is built up to; it never comes out of nowhere, even if it may seem like it.
mind: instigative, less reactive. he still reacts to things but hes generally the one starting shit and hes honestly very bad at Not talking shit. uses contractions. <this is a small one but mind says 'dont' and 'cant' and i dont think ive ever heard him Not use contractions to any notable degree. kind of weak! hes proud of himself, very proud of himself, and even in the moments of the album where theyre getting along he cant drop his superiority complex. hes bad at making compromises that put him as the lesser one. hes also quick to point blame and to lie (even if hes a bit roundabout abt it). hes also not That smart - or at least, hes not any smarter than the other two. he Thinks hes smart and hes quite confident about that but that doesnt actually mean hes right lol. aggressive verbally, passive physically. hypocritical.
both of them tend to see soul as an afterthought, or as something to benefit from. note the 'something', not 'someone'. imo, they dont really see him as a valid living entity in the same way they see themselves. speaking of soul...
soul: hes difficult. hes a difficult and complicated guy. vague, fanciful, depressed, suicidal, tired... i personally see him as quite passive. both passive and active... hes violent, towards himself and towards the others. just as they dont see him as an individual, i believe hes too apathetic and burnt out to see them as individuals either. when he threatens to hang himself, thats a direct threat to the two if them as well - and it functions as one, seeing as they are all linked in that way! his suicidality isnt purely self destructive in the way it would be in other story contexts which i find important to remember. i see him as someone who sleeps a lot... and as someone who is treated more like a tool than anything else. but he is, simultaneously, idealistic. he hopes for the best and would do anything (Anything.) to try and achieve it. he wants things to Get Better or to Stop. most of the time when i write or draw him its within the 'Stopping is the only option to Get Better' stage of things. hes tired and he doesnt want to deal with things but he has to and he doesnt want to and hes at the end of his rope. honestly within the album he feels a bit like a ghost. hes granted a similar level of personhood as the shadow of what could be, which is both more and less than mind and heart get.... hes confusing! hea a difficult guy. honestly you can take a lot of my notes and thoughts on his character with a grain of salt because hes always been such a puzzle to me haha. i find him easiest to convey in art... OH yes one last thought/trait is hes a bit... arrogant? hes tired and hes careless. listen to me or fuck off and die. arrogant. what a guy.
ahaaha this kinda became me just rambling about my reads on the three but.. hopefully helpful!! this is all stuff i try keep in mind when im writing and drawing them. theres certainly nuances ive missed and things i havent worded as well as i could, but you get the idea i hope! all of that informs how i write them and... in a way they almost lead me through the piece.
also! this isnt something i often think about because its just a natural part of the process, but sometimes i end up scrapping stuff! entire paragraphs, panels and poses, because it hits a stasis where i cant find any way for one or the other to continue the interaction - theres a distinct difference between this and the interaction hitting its ending point. if ive written one person saying or doing something and none of the parties involved are able to respond in any way at all, thats a sign that ive conveyed their characters wrong and i need to go back. people *always* have a response to something, whether thats continuing the conversation or leaving or anything. if none of them can come up with a response that feels like them, ive messed up somewhere. dont be afraid to go back and rewrite things.
ummm yeah thats all i can think of to say now! thank you for the question, and thank you for the nice words!! B:•∆ im very happy my comics come off the way youve described, and very happy youve enjoyed my work enough to want to ask me about it!! means a lot to me B:•] your rainworld iterator hms concept sounds swag as hell, id just say to keep at it!! from what youve shown here youve already got a great start B:•∆ thank you again! hope you and anyone else reading this has a good week!
#calamarispeaks#ask#thewandererh#ahhh what the hell ill maintag this. kinda became a mild character study#chonny jash#cccc#i have Got to do more comics guyssss#im planning a comic for hms magical girls.... still need to flesh some things out but this is a rare scripted comic methinks#dont want to make it too big in my head tho or else i wont be happy with it hah#alsooo all of the writing abt hms traits is ultimately just my read on things!! as fallible as anyone elses B:•]#i think abt them a lot i reaaallly like these guys... heeheee
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Some books to get into if you're struggling after only reading fanfiction for so long, they're bound to be personal to me, but they're what helped. So if I can help someone else that's like me, it's worth it.
Something all of these have in common is a very casual prose, and usually an emotion driven story/characters. They can read very similarly to the way fanfiction reads, but are all original, standalone works. Hopefully ones that can get you into reading more! (If Audiobooks work better for you, listen to them!! Local Libraries and Libby offer free audiobooks, YouTube will sometimes have Audiobooks of public domain works, and Spotify has many included with its premium if you're already listening to songs and podcasts, but don't can't/want to pay for another subscription/app.)
Light Novels. Light novels generally have a faster, fluid pace. Often very casually toned writing in my experience. Many animes and Donghuas have light novels! They essentially read like Manga, but without the pictures. The prose is very much filled with emotion. I binge read 'Heaven Official's Blessing' as the books came out in English. It was the most I had read in a long time. About a god who has ascended to heaven for the third time, after getting kicked out twice before.
Terry Pratchett. Terry Pratchett has been reccomended to death, but it's very good. It has a casual, comedic tone and very very good writing. My reccomendation for starting books:
Going Postal: A con-man criminal gets himself off death row, but in exchange, he's forced to work as 'Post Master General' of the neglected city Post Office.
Mort: A boy who's not really quite sure what to do with his life goes out to seek his life path in an apprenticeship and becomes the Apprentice of... Death. Death himself.
Spell Bound by F. T. Lukens: About a teen who wants to learn magic, but is unable to. He gets into an illegal apprenticeship with a Witch who doesn't like to live by the restrictive rules of the authorities.
Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones: The eldest sister of three gets cursed to look like an old woman, and ends up enlisting 'Evil' Wizard Howl into helping her.
Dealing With Dragons by Patricia Wrede: A princess wholly uninterested in being a princess sets out to get captured by dragon so that she doesn't have to marry an annoying prince.
Sorry if this is disorganized, it's like 5am for me and im typing and formating on my phone lol I don't mean to take away from the point of the post, I just thought that some people might get stuck on the point of "Well now that I wanna read a book instead of fanfiction, how do I start when books are written totally differently than I'm familiar with?"
fascinating that when you tell people "you have to learn the rules to break them" when talking about drawing/painting etc everyone nods and agrees but the second you say "you have to read books if you want to write better" there's a horde of contrarians begging to be the wrongest people ever all of a sudden
#Some actually good points as to why you also need to read books alongside fanfic to get better at writing#reading as a whole is like studying an art museum#or looking at references#all reading helps writing#(ive seen a LOT of hate around fanfic not being considered good enough in ANY capacity when it absolutely is.)#so yes read fanfic and yes read original novels#theres really good ones out there I promise!
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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Cant sleep, being haunted by FenRook thoughts.
Let me set the scene for you. Rook, Varric and Harding help Fenris out on a mission in Tevinter while tracking Solas. Rook and Fenris get separated from Varric and Harding during a fight.
They are wandering the forest. Fenris knows she can shapeshift into an animal and like.. fly above the treeline to figure out where they are, so imagine his reaction when she
A) doesnt immediately think to do that
B) stops and asks the fucking squirrels for directions
#personally#i think he would have an aneurysm#de riva is somehow hypercompetent and hyper stupid at the same time#i love her#i love this ship#i need more people in this corner pls dont leave me in fenrook hell by myself guys#i promise its a good time#fenris#fenris dragon age#fenrook#fenris x rook#rook de riva#datv#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#no she cant really talk to animals#but she can kind of read them better than most people can#and maybe get some basic info out of em#or idk maybe she CAN understand animals to some degree#theres precedent for it from that one dragon age movie from forever ago#so the ability exists#hmm#much to ponder
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then 😭#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me 😔#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl 🥰 we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good 🤤 i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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.
#i know this is wrong of me#but i get so annoyed when someone can't name their top 5/10 movies#and then they just give the ''ohhh im soo indecisive and theres so many good movies out there'' excuse#like. 😑 im not asking for ur thesis on every movie ever made#literally just asking you to name the first ones off the top of your head????#do you guys know that you can just name some movies you like. i promise you won't explode and no one will come to arrest you#just think of some random movies you watched and didn't hate! just name those!!! who cares! what's all the drama for#if you don't want to tell me what movies you like that's fine. but just day that. dont go ''Oooh i can't make decisions''#WHERE is the decision. have you ever watched a movie you liked or not. Yes? name them. No? well just say that! 😭#i dont care if it's Accurate! this isn't some legal contract or i'll sue you for changing your mind later! what is the issue !!!!!!!#again im never gonna be mean to people who do this or even say anything to them but i just find it really frustrating#im not asking you for a kidney. just name some movies. no one will die i promise
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i just finished a book series for the first time in. a long time. I've been keeping up with it since i was like 13. what the Fuck do i do now how do i recover from this event what do i do with my life
#i havent read a new book in ???? probably years ???#amazing what getting out of the school system does to you#but now???????? how do I live with the fact there will never be any more of that universe other than just. cry#ive been reading these as they came out for so so so many years#and i put off reading the last one for maybe 3 / 4 years but now ive Done It#ans the author has a new series and its very good but its not the same at all#and yeah i could read fic but i dont feel like i want anything different or expanded on really#and also theres like 50 fics total its a surprisingly small fandom considering the absolutely tectonic impact the books had on me#im so ;-; rn#like unbelievably;-;#if youre this deep in the tags though i love u and u look good today#also you should totally read the long way to a small angry planet by becky chambers#and all the other books in the wayfarers series#theres only 4 and theyre all Stunning i promise#honestly the best sci fi I've ever read I'd say#books#wayfarers
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Op is 100% correct
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#im not 30 yet but im in my 20s. and i didnt think i was going to make it here#ive had several events happen in my life that have made me realise if i dont change things i would die young. like really young#but im still here. im still fighting. and every day - regardless of if its a good one or a bad one - i make mine#with the knowledge that it will get better and i will slip up. but none of it will matter if im not there to wake up. so i do#i dont like movies with cheesy messages but i think they were right with “one step at a time”.#to anyone out there struggling: the smallest achievements matter. you woke up today? congratulations. sincerely from the bottom of my heart!#you managed to eat anything today? im cheering you on with the biggest pompoms!#you gave in and did a bad thing? thats fine#youll beat it tomorrow.#you just have to make it to tomorrow and not beat yourself up about everything. cause theres gonna be things you beat yourself up for that#dont actually matter. but youve got to keep going. i promise it will all look better tomorrow#itll all look better after youve slept. itll all look better after youve eaten. itll all look better after youve washed.#and omg it will look so much better when you sit outside for 5 minutes. when you talk to a friend or a waitress in a coffee shop or anyone.#so from one person who wants to make it to tomorrow to you: the fact that youre reading this now means that youll be ok. youll get there#one step at a time. together.#we'll make it
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#letters to emily#neither here nor there#don't look in the readmore. i promise im ok. i just need to think. don't look at this ok?#the only thing that this splitting (not of selves; of safeties) makes harder is asking for help#well. being excited gets complicated quickly too. but thats ok. i can work with that.#getting excited is easy to wrap up and hold to myself.#wrap up and hold myself.#but needing help- thats where it gets really hard.#this person does not get that part of me. but that person doesnt get this part.#and when the problem is related to both this and that parts- aye. theres the rub..#it's fine tho! im fine!#im drawing the symbol of the lonely on myself but mybe i should be the web. “the story spinner.”#two spiders on my skin- one for courage (eight legs through the wall) and one for this mess ive made of myself#i dont need help right now. wrap up and hold myself in check.#thats why this is a letter to emily.#wrapping up and holding myself in check#tomorrow's a new day and tomorrow i won't remember today#every moment as it comes and perhaps in the next moment i'll find it easier#to wrap myself up and hold myself in check.#i dont know why i'm putting this out there except#i didnt realize how hard it was until i saw an example of someone who wasnt trying#(you can decide what that means. im not spilling everything)#and i'm good with words. words are good. i think in words of ink and light.#delete later#wrapping myself up and holding myself in check with soft words like long scarves
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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genuinely like passively suicidal at this point bc i literally dont know why i bother. im not gonna kill myself but like someone deal with me im just dead weight
#im being dramatic but i really feel like theres absolutely 0 out there for me#i dont like the world we live in i… dont want to live in it. i dont think its worth it#every day i do whatever someone told me to do and then i go to bed and wake up and do it tomorrow and im just. not fine with that anymore#im not this depressed and upset during the day but its so bleak that ive considered faking it just for. yknow attention ig idk#but i dont have the time to do that either. i have to hang out with my boyfriend and go to my moms house and help out my grandma#all things that are so stressful to me. no offense babe if you ever read this but i get so stressed trying to do stuff with you bc you#always want me to decide. which like i understand but i never want to. i want to lay in bed idk what to tell you. theres no real solution t#that its fine its just whats true. i dont have any 2 person hobbies bc. idk. ive never actually had friends or something#anyway please god dont read this before your birthday weekend and feel uptight about it. and never do. its fine its fine i promise#this is embarrassing. youre the only one that sees these posts though i think i may as well address them to you outright. i feel like im a#terrible boyfriend bc i dont do anything. im so passive i feel like im just pathetic dead weight and im so scared to have been dating you#for a year bc thats an entire year of your life you couldve been finding someone that doesnt Just love you and want be with you but also is#like. good to be with. i know youd probably be thinking that its not true or something but theres nothing i have done that you havent done#tenfold youre just too good for me. idk#this is so embarrassing i should delete this#simons spouting#another. stupid vent post in the books. i wonder what tomorrow brings us#vent :(#suicide //
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can you write a daeho smut where hes upset and gets hard while reader is comforting him then said reader makes him jerk off in front of her? then maybe after theres more smut with him as the sub? SORRY THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST IDK IF IM DOIGN IT RIGHT
ngl this is so creative that i’m doing it right after writing hella 😈😈 lowkey seeing the image of it 😩
Comfort took a wrong turn (i had no idea what to name this😢)
warnings: Smut, sub!dae-ho, lowkey some reason getting turned on, gentle fucking, praising
You’ve been noticing Dae-ho flinching or getting nervous every single time he hears a gunshot, you knew he was an ex marine so maybe he had trauma? your not sure.
Whenever they were gonna go shoot the guards to get to the control room , Dae-ho decided to stay back, after awhile he had heard a ton gunshots, he covered his ears, shaking in his bed
You had went up to him and crawled next to him, you looked at him in a bit of concern, “I’m sorry! i’m so sorry.. i just can’t do this! the gunshots!” he whimpered out, his hands shaking still covering his ears as he shut his hair, “it’s gonna be okay..i promise, nothing is gonna happen to you if just stay here okay?” you said hugging him
Even tho his ears were covered he can still hear you but just a bit muffled, he finally put his hands down, still shaking he slowly wrapped his hands around you as well, “Y/n..it won’t stop! im sorry.” he whispered, you stroked his hair a bit, he leaned into your touch, allowing you to stroke his hair, “Shhh.. it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay, do you trust me?” you say back to him
He looks up at you a nodded, you get a little bit closer your hands wrapped behind his neck and one hand still stroking his hair, your body was against him, he barely realized and his body begins feeling a bit hot, his cheeks were burning up as well as he looked down as your body, your boobs slightly pressed up against his shoulder
He begin feeling really hot and looks down and notices he has a bulge in his pants. He gulped as his adam’s apple bounced along his gulp, “It’s gonna be okay dae-ho, just don’t focus too much on the sounds okay? focus on me for now” you whispered as he nodded, he slightly moved you to be infront of him so kinda on his lap which you didn’t mind, you kept hugging him as he begin rubbing and down your back, he was thinking about many lewd thoughts about you. He shut his eyes as bucked his hips, you felt him did so, as you backed up a bit in confusion and looked down noticing he was hard
He quickly flushed in embarrassment and tried hiding his bulge, “i-i’m sorry! i couldn’t help it.. you were just so close to me and-“ he begin quickly explaining but you cut him off with a chuckle, “You got hard from me basically trying to comfort you?” you spoke, he nodded , “That’s..that’s kinda pathetic” you said while sitting on his lap on his bulge, he let out a whine “I-i know i’m sorry! i couldn’t help it i promise it won’t happen again!” he quickly said “Yea..make sure it doesn’t. But for now i want you to take off your pants okay?” you said rubbing his cheek as he quickly nodded
You got up sitting on his legs instead of his lap, he pushed down his pants to his knees, His boxers strained with a small wet spot, his cock slightly twitching in his wet boxers, you smirked at him, “Good boy.. now take those off as well”, he chuckled nervously at the praise but quickly listen shoving them down to his knee, his cock was spilling pre cum as the cold air that hit his cock made him shiver, “Stroke yourself for me” you said simply, he looks at you with puppy eyes, just like a puppy he quickly follows your orders
He begin stroking himself, his hands going up and down his cock, his breath hitched as he looked down at his cock than back at you, he kept going small whines falling out his mouth, you smirked at him as you bit your lip and continued watching, feeling your pussy slightly throbbing, your desire to make him moan out your name but you wanted to wait, he continued stroking himself as moans begin falling out
He went faster, his cock twitching a bit, you traveled your hands under your pants and slightly rubbed yourself at the sight of him, he made a small gasp when he saw you, he kept jerking himself off and while a loud whine he came, his cum spilling over his hand as he panted, he shut his eyes a bit before looking at you, you had took your hands out of pants, “Wow..what a performance you can put on” you said quietly, “C-can i fuck you? please? i-i wanna be inside you!” he said breathlessly, you chuckled a bit and got closer
“Are you able to handle it?” you questioned him, he quickly nodded, “Yes! yes please.. im able too!” he said looking like a puppy who’s tail is wagging, he slowly got on top of you placing you down on the bed gently
he begins taking off your pants and panties, he looks at your cunt which was soaking wet, he smiled a bit as he spread your, he then placed himself between your legs, grabbing his cock a bit and lining himself on your entrance, “Are.. are you okay with this?” he gently asked, you nodded, he then begin pushing his tip in as he moaned at the warmth feeling, he pushed in nice and slowly making sure he doesn’t hurt you, once his full length was inside you he gently asked you “Does it hurt?”, you shaked your head “No” you simply said as he nodded, “Okay ima start moving..” he said as he slowly pulled back and begin thrusting into you gently making sure not to go too rough or too fast
you moaned softly as he leaned over you, his face in your neck and his hands on each side of your head, he moved his hips nice and slowly, “Yea..just like that baby, nice and slowly” you spoke softly as he shivered, your hands went to his hair slightly gripping it as he kept pushing into you in and out, you kept moaning softly “A-am i doing good?” he questioned, “Mhm..your doing just good baby, so good, what a good boy..” you spoke softly as his cock twitched when you called him a good boy, he tried hiding his big smile against your neck as he kept thrusting into you, his cock hitting deep and into the spot that makes you cum, “Yea~ right there baby, keep going..” you moaned softly as he nodded and kept hitting that exact spot, your orgasm approached as he kept hitting your g spot, “Shit baby- i’m gonna cum~” you moaned out as he tried going a bit faster making you cum quickly, you moaned out as you cummed, a white ring line formed, he stopped and looked at you with pure love, even tho he barely knows you, you looked back at him and smiled warmly
“i-i think i’m in love with you..” he said blinking at you as you chuckled and shaked your head
#squid game#squid game smut#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#kang dae ho smut#player 388#player 388 smut#player 388 x reader
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wouldn't dream of it lando norris x reader rating – 18+ (sex, coarse language, angst) requested by anon for monzamusings ✨
“What are you doing here, Lando?”
“I just needed to see you.”
Things had been good with Lando. You’d started dating a couple of months ago after being set up by a mutual friend who swore up and down that you were made for each other. And she was right for a time, over winter break when life was easy, no real responsibility or commitment needed to keep whatever it was between the two of you simmering away.
Fuelled by passion and lust with a dash of attachment. He was at your place every night nearly, besides Christmas day when you both agreed taking time away from family for a hook up was absurd. He was back in your bed the day after Boxing day, and working you over until New Years Eve, just the two of you tangled up in the sheets, closed off from the rest.
But then you flew to Monaco to see his world. Big mistake.
It felt enormous. The constant attention and the anxiety, knowing that fans were sneakily taking photos at every opportunity, which always ended up on the silly gossip pages. And they were silly to begin with, salaciously lying about who you were and what you and Lando were until it got under you skin. Stomach churning.
There seemed to be a direct line of online hate funnelled your way and at first you promised Lando you could stomach it, until you couldn’t. It didn’t take long until reality seeped in, cold and harsh, tarnishing something that was so beautiful. It wasn't labelled but it could be in time, if his life was different – if he was a different person.
Lando could feel you slipping away so he tried to bring you into his weird and wonderful world, to show you that it wasn’t so scary. But the more he introduced you to his "racing friends" and explained what a "paddock walk" was, the further you retreated and you knew a line needed to be drawn in the sand. Before it was too late.
Before it was too hard to let him go.
It was callous in retrospect – a handwritten note left on his kitchen counter and slipping into an uber to Nice in the dead of the night. Cruel, really but necessary, you lied to yourself. Lando wanted to be surprised, he did. But everything you had written was true, he knew deep down that his life was fucking stressful, he didn't need reminding or how harsh people could be about the women involved with him and if it were anyone else, he would've slipped the letter in the rubbish bin and moved on.
But you were worth fighting for. And so here he was, on your doorstep in Shoreditch at 11pm on a Tuesday. It’s a wonder you answered the door but maybe there was a part of you that hoped it was him. Glassy eyed and dishevelled from the flight.
“I got your voicemails, I know where you stand but it doesn’t change anything.”
“Why didn’t you call me back?” Lando asked, the crease in his brow permanently furrowed in confusion.
“Because everything I needed to say was in the letter.”
“What? This letter?” He scoffed, slipping his hand into his pocket and pulling out the piece of paper he had been carrying since the day you left. Battered and torn.
“All this tells me is that you’re scared to let me in and fine! I get that but if theres even a tiny part of you that wants me –wants us to try and make it work, then tell me because I want this…” Lando stepped forward, making his intentions clear.
“I want you.”
“It’s not that simple,” You sighed, hands instinctively reaching for him as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you both inside.
You wanted him more than anything.
“I know it’s not, baby,” He whispered back while you pushed the jacket he was wearing from his shoulders, “But we’re so good together… God, you’re beautiful.”
Lando took a second to bathe in your beauty before tangling you in a fierce kiss, one that had you clutching his shirt even harder, dragging his pliant body towards your bedroom. He knew the way – every wall you came into contact with bringing you closer and closer to the edge of your bed, needy kisses between sharp inhales of breath.
“I missed you so much, Lan.”
“Fuck, I’ve missed you more.” Lando whimpered as he hovered above and nestled himself between your thighs, hands roaming every inch of skin presented to him.
The need to have him was bubbling over as you took him in your hand and guided him to where you needed, eyes squeezed shut as he fell forward, trembling arms holding up his aching body, “That’s so fucking good, baby – ugh, so tight f’me.”
You moaned in response as Lando slowly rocked forward, grappling with the surge of pleasure rushing to your core and the relief washing from your limbs. He was your missing puzzle piece and everything else was background noise, dulled when you had him like this – whimpering and moaning sweet nothings in your ear. Silver chains tangled between you as he pressed his greedy lips to your chest, leaving small bites as a reminder of his adoration and desire.
“I need you, you know?” Lando purred into your ear as you held him close, fingers sprawled across his perspiring back as he fucked you deep, “These last couple of weeks have been hell without you… hated waking up alone and not having you beside me… not being able to hear your voice… I'm down so fucking bad.”
His soft voice was breaking as the first droplets fell to your neck, “I know what it’s like now to lose you and I won’t ever take you for granted, I swear on my life…”
Lando's sobs were quick to wrack his chest as you pulled him down, taking his full body weight in your embrace. He couldn't help but succumb to the emotions that had bottled up and finally spilled, every single worry dissipating as you held him close and soothed his tears with a soft hum.
“Hey, it’s okay, baby – I’m here…” You cooed, brushing your fingers through his tousled curls and trying your hardest to keep it together. But you could feel the welling in your eyes, heartbroken for the man in your arms and the pain you had caused, no matter how much you believed you had done the right thing at the time.
“I know you’ve been dealing with so much and I never wanted to walk away – I just… I didn’t know what to do because I could feel myself falling for you but what I was too stupid to realise was that I was already in love with you – I think I have been since the moment we met…”
Lando craned his neck, just enough to catch a glimpse of your beautiful eyes boring into his own – sincerity in every fleck. A small smile stretched across his face as he rested his forehead on yours, “I’m in love with you too. Have been since day one.”
The smiles on your faces couldn’t have been any wider as Lando pressed a slow, sweet kiss to your pouting lips. You couldn’t help but giggle as he nuzzled into your neck, pressing kiss after kiss on your sensitive skin.
“You loooove me,” He sang, tickling your ribs with his eager hands before flipping onto his back and pulling you on top.
“Oh, so I’m finishing us off, am I?”
“Yeah, I’m tired from the crying,” He shrugged and clutched your hips, playfully rutting them against his own. The moan that fell from your throat betrayed your mind, body and soul and Lando simply smirked, forever pleased with the effect he had on you.
“If you weren’t so sexy I would leave you like this,” You teased back, rolling back and forth, edging both of you like a woman on a mission.
“Please don’t ever leave me again,” Lando moaned, gripping tighter with every tantalising movement.
You shook your head and leaned down to press a soft kiss to his flushed cheek, “Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”
a/n – did i keep it under 1k words? of course not lol but hope you enjoyed x more f1 writing awaits ...
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris smut#f1 imagine#f1 smut#monzamusings ✨#monzamashmasterlist#f1 blurbs#lando norris x you
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ghost character analysis
tw: spoilers from ghost mw2 comics, nsfw, dead dove do not eat, mature content.
this is pretty much a part 2 to ghost headcanons except with more lore and analysis (im still not sure if reboot ghost has the same backstory as the og ghost).
ghost is not a cold, calculated, ruthless man. maybe in a separate au or something, but theres a huge difference between ghost and simon riley. in fact, we need to understand that the reason he even chose ghost as a new name for himself is because of all that's happened to him. his family got killed, he got tortured by roba, and had to eliminate many men on his own. before that he was simon, not ghost. in the comic he literally calls the child hostages he was saving ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’. hes not that mean and cold yall
we know that PTSD does shit to it's victims, ghost lost his entire family and had no one. think of it as a coping mechanism to have a new name to be known as.
ghost is a ruthless killer. simon is just some guy.
ghost sets himself to an incredibly high standard of discipline. i think it's intuitive that military boys will need to be punctual and organized to some degree, but ghost takes this to a whole other level. considering his father's abusive behavior (explained by his disturbing statements said to simon, is a drug addict, and beats simons mom) his home life was likely chaotic as a child.
in the mw2: ghost comic (issue #3) it specifically stated the following: "discipline, precision, control. these are what riley built his whole life on. break those down and the dark stuff begins to ooze out..." again, this is probably a form of trauma response to his childhood.
so what does this lead to? well firstly, this probably means his room is incredibly tidy and organized (monotone design i know :,c).
would never in his life touch drugs. this is a promise he made to himself.
also kinda proves that ghost aint a reckless guy. he thinks things through before doing it.
ghost isn’t that hypersexual. theres no way of knowing his history with women, but i like to think ghost is not that horny 24/7 and needs a fuckbuddy. in the mw2 comic, he was on a mission and was in an area full of prostitutes (wasn’t actively on duty, but on his way) when they tried to hit on him he politely rejects one of them, and later tells them to fuck off😀 so yea contrary to popular belief i dont think he really enjoys one night stands or the idea of being entertained by random women. in fact, i hc he might actually be a virgin or just have a really low body count.
ghost is a feminist!😁 (misandrist too). ok let me reword that, ghost doesnt like men and respects women. one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to be around prostitutes and do one night stands (his father killed a hooker in front of him, very traumatic) is because he thinks the concept of quick, casual sex is not good for society and dilutes the value of meaningful relationships. but also, remember the discipline, precision, control thing? its apart of his principle. but also, in the comic, sparks (soldier he worked with) knocked out and attempted to rape a woman, ghosts literally looked disgusted and called the police (also why he’d never do that himself, i dont get the hcs that say he does). ghosts seen how his dad treated his mom and absolutely hates abusers. anyways onto misandry—i think ghost internally thinks men are violent and disgusting (ghosts would choose the bear over the man, even though hes a man) mainly because throughout his military career majority of the bad stuff hes seen was done by men, so hes much more relaxed in a room of women vs man. ghost thinks his dad is the epitome of pure evil (canon! he said this to his therapist). this doesn’t mean hes scared or hates all men tho!
ghost isn’t close with tf141… including soap. now before you attack me let me explain. sure, he trusts them to some degree, but i dont think they naturally just hangout when they’re not deployed. in the end we need to understand they are SAS soldiers, they are working a real job that mainly consists of them shooting and dismantling others. considering ghosts betrayal in the past (in the comic, a few soldiers ghost previously worked with killed his entire family 😢) he isn’t gonna just trust his teammates because theyre his teammates. im also pretty sure they all live in different cities while not deployed. tf141 probably all want to separate their job from their personal lives, which includes each other. but onto soap, i dont think him and ghost have a deep brotherly relationship. but i think they care about each other, but exchanging some dad jokes and bantering doesn’t mean they’re suddenly soulmates or brothers. think about it… you and you’re co worker joke around sometimes, never hangout outside of work, and now people are shipping you and calling the two of you besties. makes no sense.
ghost is extremely patriotic. in the comic (i reference this way too much but theres SOOO MUCH LORE i recommend reading it) ghost tells his teammates the reason for joining the military: queen and country, right after 9/11. he also said “the world has changed”. interestingly enough army enlistment did actually skyrocketed after 9/11 attacks, ghost was among them. he probably thought ww3 was about to happen, or that ‘theres no more peace’ or whatever. i hc being obsessed with soccer too lmao and getting mad if english teams dont win. also his playful banter with johnny “get us a tea?”. probably very proud of his british heritage.
ghost doesn’t have much friends. hes a really, reallyyyyy lonely guy. i hc him as an introvert in the first place, but trust issues make this worse. in the comic, he was literally in the newspaper for killing his family and then killing himself (he didnt, he was framed that way tho) so its likely most of his formers friends probably think hes dead. ghost likely got some sort of amnesty or exemption from the military after knowing he didn’t actually kill his family, but whats in the news stays true to the public. even if he does have friends he probably doesn’t share feelings with them or form a long term bond.
ghost is extremely cynical. this is obvious tbh, but i think ghost believes hes going to die in the middle of a battlefield, shot or stabbed, a painful death, body left to rot for weeks, and no one to remember him. just like that. and he accepts that fact too.
ghost isn’t a picky eater. growing up in an abusive household where his parents couldn’t hold a stable job, he had to eat what there was. some days he settles for cheap beans and toast and when people call him out for it, he tells em to fuck off😀
ghost is emotionally fucked up, probably kind of depressed. i mean this guys been through hell: got sa’d, buried alive, had to dig through underground dirt and worms with a jawbone, tortured in horrible ways, had his entire family killed, abusive dad, and the weight of his grey morales because he killed lots of people as a soldier. wow! would you look at that list, itd be more strange if he wasn’t emotionally fucked up after was has happened😅. even when tortured, seeing his family dead, ghost was never shown to have cried in the comic. i hc hes emotionally numb. however, i do think hes emotionally MATURE and able to communicate his emotions, but hes still emotionally fucked. for example a scene where he was talking about his experience with roba (guy who tortured ghost) and ghosts father to a therapist. i think ghosts may be traumatized, but this doesn’t stop him from attempting to get help and communicating how he feels and thinks about this world.
ghost wears a mask... not because hes insecure and traumatized it's to separate ghost from simon riley. first of all he learned the consequences of revealing your identity during deployment, in the comic, he reveals his face in missions before his family got killed. i think he wears a mask because 1) its practical, no one knows who he is, 2) an analogy for himself to remind him simon riley, his original identity, was dead the moment his family was murdered, this SAS soldier with a skull mask is GHOST (yes this is canon, ghost references in the comic!).
in issue #1 while some kids were being held hostage, he starts telling his life story to them to calm them down/distract them from the bad situation. this is his explanation to why he wears a skull mask, word by word: "I bet you're wondering why I wear these bones on my face. It's a tribute to an old friend of mine. He's dead now, but man if he wasn't the baddest motherfucker on the planet."
in issue #6, when ghost was trekking through a jungle in the middle of nowhere attempting to kill roba (a drug lord that started this all, brainwashed soldiers to kill ghosts family), he was never caught. ghost himself, the narrator, says that "even for a single man to get through the jungle, the patrols, the wall, the security... well that man would have to be a ghost."
however, im still a little confused whether or not reboot ghost and 2009 have the same backstories. reboot ghosts mask is more realistic and his look is much more intimidating, his reason for wearing that kind of mask is probably psychological warfare (getting milena the financier to speak up about makarov). i think 2009 ghosts reason to wearing a mask is more personal compared to reboot.
BUT WHAT ABOUT AN S/O???
i think ghost is the guy to not have one in the first place. obviously. but i lowkey think if he had one and really liked them, he would commit. in fact i find it hard to imagine hes a player or isn’t serious about relationships. when his brother tommy got addicted to drugs and fucked up his life, simon quit the military until tommy got 100% better and married. yup. he stayed to help him recover, for years. thats how loving and committed this man is🥹🥹.
ghost would not cheat on his s/o. i can't stress how important this hc is, because it's so out of character for him to do so. sure, guys in the military statistically have higher divorce rates, incidences of infidelity, and much more red flag stuff, but knowing what happened to him, he would never do that. doesn't matter how stressed, lonely, sexually frustrated this man is; he would not cheat on his partner. this guy has been through far more stressful situations and got through it, you think hes gonna cheat because hes stressed because of work?
its not sunshine and rainbows or absolute toxicity being with him. it's not really a mix of both either. ghost isn't that princess treatment, super squishy and cuddly, sweet guy who likes fluffy stuff. he definitely isn't the toxic guy who leaves you with mixed signals either.
hes quite the gentleman when it comes to approaching relationships, hes seen how his dad treated his mom, and ghost wants to do the exact opposite. i believe ghost likes to use the traditional courting methods when dating someone: gifting flowers, paying for dates, holding the door open (ladies first typa guy!!), the old fashioned stuff. idk if i should point it out again but this guy DOES NOT FW modern dating practices, he wouldn't download dating apps, or start 'talking stages'. i dont think he would write love letters just because hes not very good at writing poetry or expressing his feelings in the first place.
theres still downsides to being with him. the long distance, the time being apart (months and months). but i dont think he'd go as far as being emotionally avoidant.
also something really random ive noticed is that 2009 and reboot ghost are very different, personality wise. i like to think that 2009 ghost represents simon riley much better, but the reboot ghost actually gives the essence and character of what a 'ghost' in the military is.
more random headcanons:
simon prefers dogs over cats because dogs are loyal and stay with you until the end (stereotypically)
hates snakes and spiders
probably wouldn’t do 50/50 on dates, he pays!
avoids saying manchester slang when deployed
drinks and smokes. not always. he’s disciplined but he still does that stuff.. hes a british guy in his 30s whos kinda depressed, grew up with adults around him smoking 24/7, whatd you think😀😀 (its canon that most of tf141 smoke anyway)
listens to 80’s rock music. its canon that his mom enjoys the band siouxsie and the banshees :)), he probs does too
shaves his beard
is actually confident hes not bad looking. dude, hes 6’2, in shape with a jawline🙄
i don't enjoy hcs of ghost being the scariest out of tf141 (appearance wise yes). but soap seems much more scary imo, he was the youngest guy to pass SAS selections in the history of the UK military, and was nicknamed soap because of fast and good he is at cleaning up 'messes' (basically killing people).
id arguably say ghost is the most compassionate out of 141, if we're talking about the OG 2009 one.
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#call of duty x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#call of duty ghosts#cod x reader#ghost headcanons#ghost mw2#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost fanfiction#call of duty modern warfare#könig#konig#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#character analysis
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