#theres nothing i can do about this now big rip and i want to get the yarn and start working on it but idk when itll come in an i might die

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You (Chapter 9)

summary: your encounter with Sir Virric didn't go quite as planned, and now, you have to free yourself from his hold before its too late.

rating: E

word count: 6.7k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, reader is tav)

cw: 18+. big angst hours, kidnapping, blood, noncon (rape, knife and blood play included there), graphic depiction of violence/torture, panic attack. full list on ao3

a/n: fair warning that this is a long and heavy chapter, and if you're uncomfortable with any of the CW please skip out on this one, i will add a brief overview of what happened in this chapter without the graphic descriptions at the beginning of the next chapter, but if all of this is gucci to you, please let me know what you think, as this was my first attempt at writing torture ~

a/n²: guess whaaaaaaaaat, yea theres yet another chapter before the epilogue, but its all happy from this point on dw

Last update next Friday!

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What will you do when she takes your throne?

Beg for her power or throw her a bone?

All that she has traded for love is yours

What will you do when she takes off her clothes?

Beg for her body or touch her soul?

When you're alone dreaming of her you sigh 

-

You wake up with a weird churning in your guts, and a throbbing headache. When you finally come back to your senses, you get to the awful realisation that you’re locked up somewhere you don’t recognize, chained up — again — and the wound at your waist stings like hell. Wherever you are, it isn’t the Crimson palace’s dungeons, that’s for sure. 

The place, you assume, is another dungeon located in a cave of sorts, or maybe the sewers — it's hard to tell, but you're underground certainly — as uneven rocks surround you. The air is damp but cold, and for this sole reason, you’re thankful for your new undead body. Had you been mortal, you would be freezing cold, but now, your surroundings matched the temperature within you. While uncomfortable, you certainly weren’t suffering because of it.

Your wrists are chained to the wall, and as you gulp, you sense the chain also attached to your neck. 

Really? My neck? Even Astarion didn’t go to these lengths when he kept me captive.

Wait. Astarion! That’s it!

You close your eyes to focus on initiating the connection through your bond, searching for his mind, and when you think you successfully reached him, you almost shout in your mind.

“Astarion! Can you hear me?”There’s a deafening silence that fills you with dread just before his voice echoes in your mind.

“By the Gods, where in the Hells are you?!” Finally hearing his voice again, you let go of a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in as you choke back a sob.

“I’m in a dungeon, I think? Or a cave, maybe, I’m not sure —  how long have I been gone?”

“A few hours. I sent Amedee after you when I sensed something wrong — rightfully so — she took care of Alstaer.” His words are spoken faster than you can process them before he jumps back to his previous question. “I need you to tell me everything about where you are — I swear it on my grave, I will find you, or I’ll burn the world down trying.”

In truth, you had not the slightest idea of where in the nine Hells you could be. The last thing you remember before passing out was Virric’s hands over you and his disgusting laughter. The thought alone made you want nothing more but to rip off his tongue with your bare hands and make him choke on it. Just as the thought crosses your mind, the door to your dungeon swings open with a loud screech, making you wince at the sound. Your connection to Astarion withers before you can give him any information, as your focus switches to the monster walking towards you, with a rolled up leather case.

“Good morning, Princess.” 

Speak of the devil.

“Fuck off.” Although not in your habits to swear, this man had a way to turn you vulgar with his mere presence; you had no patience for whatever he had planned and you wanted to be the farthest thing from polite with him.

He sets down the leather case on a nearby table before approaching you. “Now, that’s no way to talk to your betrothed. Did your parents not teach you manners?”

If your eyes could roll further back in your skull, they would. “Gods, what kind of curse has you constantly spouting about our engagement? It’s been five years, Virric, you act as if the world stopped turning when I left.” You sigh, looking away, as you mumble. “Plus, I doubt this contract is even valid anymore. Must’ve been void the second I vanished.”

He crosses his arms in his back, walking around your cell as he speaks, “You see, after your little escapade, my reputation — along with your family’s, mind you — were tainted. No other Lord or Duke of the court with a suitable daughter took a chance on me — a man who made his bride-to-be run away without even meeting her — you can imagine the scandal. I gave my word, not only to your parents, but to the court, that I would find you and bring you back to me.” 

You don’t comment on this, but you think that if he took five years to find you again — and without even recognizing you the first time — he mustn't have been doing that great of a job at searching for you. That, or you were just very good at hiding your tracks. Either way, you had outsmarted him, and you can’t help but feel proud about yourself.

He continues, “Once they see that I have accomplished not only this, but have you be obedient and respectful, submissive — as you will be — they will see that my convictions go beyond promises, that I act on my intentions. And when I bring forward the proof that Ancunín is nothing but a fraud, finally, I’ll earn their respect back. They will have no choice but to include me back into their inner circles.” He pauses his rambling, cocking his head to the side, fixating on your right hand. “I already made the arrangements, so you won’t even have to use that little head of yours.”

You turn your head to take a look at your hand to find a new golden ring with a clear crystal in the middle, now adorning your finger. You’re taken aback by its presence, the urge to rip it off burning in your chest, but you try to push the feeling aside, taunting him instead, “A random ring on my finger doesn’t mean anything, especially if I didn’t agree to it.”

He laughs humorlessly, “Oh dearest, you are simply adorable to think you have any say in the matter. I never needed your permission, you are mine by right. And as your first duty as my bride, I require you to tell me everything you’ve learned about this mysterious Lord Ancunín.” 

Bride. You frown at the mention of the word, which sounds twisted and bitter when it falls from his lips, as opposed to the way Astarion had made it sound so precious and beloved. You might be a bride, but not by his definition, and even less Virric's. 

“I’m not telling you shit,” you finally spit out.

“Oh, you will, eventually,” he pauses, suggestively as he approaches you, eyeing you up and down. “Willingly, or… by other means.”

Unimpressed, you scoff. “Holding me hostage won’t change my mind. This is hardly my first time.” He would have to be creative to get you to say anything; if you had survived the mind flayers and your breakup with Astarion, along with everything that happened following that, Virric should be a breeze to go through. 

He leans in closer, breathing down on you. “When I have my power, I will take the time needed to break and reshape every single part of your mind and body, until you are built perfectly in my image,” you notice the corner of his lips turning into a smile that suggests things you don’t even want to consider, the thought alone making you sick to your stomach. “You will bow before me, and you will do so willingly.” He leans back, taking his casual, disdainful look again. “But, until then, I think I may have a way to… encourage you to act reasonably, so to speak.”

He turns back around to the table where he had laid out his case to open it, displaying its contents. Before you, he unravels a collection of blades, ranging from razors to saws of different sizes. The sight of them along with his previous words is enough for panic to overcome you, a tightness in your chest rendering you breathless for a few seconds. 

“So,” he picks out a short razor-like blade from his set before he approaches you again. “Do you intend on sharing Lord Ancunín’s dirty secrets or am I going to have to pry them out of you?” He says, tapping the blade over your nose as he emphasises the word. 

“I don't know anything,” you fight yourself not to show the shakiness in your voice, and terribly fail at doing so.

“That's a shame, truly,” he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.

He lets the blade trail near your collarbone before slowly sliding it down to your chest, the deadly sharp tool slicing through the fabric of your dress down to your hips, as if it were air. You shriek at the gesture, partly glad it wasn't your skin he cut — yet — but also worried of where this was going to go, as you now stood exposed to him in your undergarments, with the ripped fabric of your dress hanging from your arms. 

“I'm gonna give you one more chance, princess. This could go very easily for you. I just need one dirty secret that can help me take down Ancunín while securing my place among the right people. I'm not asking for much! One, simple, yet meaningful secret, and all of this can stop.”

You fight through the fear in your chest, trying to paralyse you. Torture here or torture later wasn’t much of a choice. You would die before you let him win over you, before you would sell out Astarion. “I have nothing to tell you.”

He sighs dramatically, “Fine! If you don’t want to talk about him yet, maybe we can discuss of your little secrets.”

The knot in your chest finally relaxes, if but for a moment, “I thought you knew everything there was about me.”

He nods, “Everything from your family, your childhood — your past, mostly — yes, I do. But nothing in those papers mentioned you being anything remotely close to a monster.”

You scoff, “What could possibly make you think of me as a monster?” Your tone is unapologetically sarcastic. “Between the two of us, I would be tempted to say you’re the monster, Virric.”

In the blink of an eye, his knife is up to your throat, tipping your chin up by the tip, to meet his gaze. You hiss as the blade penetrates ever so slightly your skin underneath, the same way it did, that night in the gardens.

“Listen here, girl, you may think of this as a game, but in case you haven’t realised, there is no way for you to win. I can either make this quick, or so very, very slow.” He digs the blade deeper as he tilts it, cutting along the side of your jaw. The feeling of the knife piercing your skin left a burning sensation that had you writhe in pain as you tried to pull away from it. “Which one will it be, doll?”

And just like it left, the knot in your chest was back. The terror paralyzed you, as you succumbed to the feeling of powerlessness, and visions of the worst outcomes manifested themselves in your mind. 

You were going to die here.

Met with your lack of answer, Virric continues. “If this is how you wish it to be.”

The blade leaves your jaw to drop to your hips, where he slides between the fabric of your panties and your skin, before swiftly pulling down and away, slicing the fabric in two, and nicking your skin in the process. Whether it was voluntarily or not didn’t matter, he rejoiced in your pain nonetheless. You hiss at the faint burning sensation of the blade and twist over yourself, trying to hide what the fabric used to conceal.

“If a beast you are, then a beast I shall tame.”

His knife travels up to your belly, as he continues to dig deeper into your skin and you wince at the pain; you’ve experienced worse injuries in your battles, but  somehow, Virric’s blade cut deeper into you than any arrow you might’ve received. This was personal, bigger than a misunderstanding, or than a lost arrow on the battlefield. Your very existence, your fate, hung in the balance, and now that you were undead — even if unbeknownst to him —  he had the power to drag out this torture forever.

The sharp dagger makes its way up, bleeding you out in the process, and stops right before your bra, hovering over the simple fabric that held your breast together; the last thing covering what left you had of decency.

“Do you have something to tell me now?”

Weighing your words, and between deep breaths, you growl. “Fuck. You. Virric.”

The smile that reaches his cheeks is nothing short of evil. “I was hoping you would say that.” 

In one swift flick of his wrist, the blade cuts through the lace of your bra, grazing the skin between your breasts as they get released, and a whimper escapes you before you can stop it. He pulls back if only for a moment to marvel at the sight of your pale skin.

“Ah,” he sighs. “A blank canvas. Perfect. I've been wanting an excuse to use my toys.” As he draws over your chest with his dagger, marking your skin with new scars, you fight through the tears swirling around your eyes and the whimpers getting stuck in your throat; you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of watching you break so soon, but the temptation to give in was becoming too heavy to ignore it. Met with your defiant, yet watery glare, Virric only chuckled.

“I can drag this on all night long.”

—

And so, the night went on. Your clothes were entirely discarded, completely cut to ribbons, as he continued to experiment on your body with different blades, branding you, touching you in places he hadn’t had the chance to before, that night at the ball, and doing more atrocities you wished you could forget. Your cries only encouraged him — as much as you tried to conceal them — and he even went on to comment on the fact that they were “a melody he couldn’t believe he had missed out on all these years”. 

You passed out from the pain at one point, and when you finally came to your senses, you were not sure how long had passed. Virric, at least, was nowhere to be seen. Surely, there was no point torturing you if you were unconscious, and he left you alone once he didn’t have any reaction out of you. After all, he needed you alive — if he was going to kill you, it wasn't going to be this soon, and it wasn’t going to be this quick, he made sure of that.

You took the opportunity of his absence to try and reach out to Astarion, hoping his mind would be open to you.

“Astarion? Astarion, please tell me you’re there…”

Your connection was feeble, weakened by your injuries and threatening to break at any moment, but just before despair claimed you, his voice echoed in your mind.

“Oh Gods, Darling, finally— please, tell me exactly what is happening, I can’t have you vanish on me again without knowing what is causing this pain.” His voice was controlled but you sensed the desperation underneath.

“I’m— Wha— What pain?”

“The cuts, the burns — I feel everything.” Then, you heard it in his voice, in the way it was shaking. The anxiety, the anguish… the guilt.

You stayed silent, for what felt like forever as you processed the information, “...How?”

“Our bond goes beyond our minds. Our bodies and souls were intertwined when I made you my bride. Your pain is my pain, as much as mine is yours.”

When you were stabbed in your fight, he must’ve felt it. When you kept your mind closed to him, he must’ve instantly known something was wrong and tried to reach out, only to be met with silence. When you passed out from the poison, you couldn’t reach out to him, because he must’ve been affected, too.

“I didn’t realize—”

All the torture you went through, he had to go through it, too. It didn’t matter that he had killed Cazador, or that he was the most powerful vampire in all the realms. Because of his connection to you, he was back in those dungeons, getting tortured.

All over again.

You’re unable to silence the cries that followed, your voice trembling in your mind, “Astarion— I’m so sorry—” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. I knew the weight of this decision when I made it, when I proposed it to you, and I will bear it with you by my side, until the end of our days.” 

There was a pause, as if he was debating with himself, as if what he was about to say weighed heavier on him than he let on. “If anything, I should be sorry for keeping this information from you. I trusted you enough to defend yourself, to take on this fight. I should have trusted you further with our bond, but I was… selfish.” 

There is a small silence, the heavy weight of guilt flowing through this bond that united you, before he continued, his voice now assertive. “I won’t make the same mistake again. Virric hasn’t been seen since the soiree; wherever you are is well hidden. Now, I need you to guide me, to know where you are. Give me any information, anything at all.”

But where could you even start? So much had happened in such a short period, and yet, Virric hadn’t given you more clues as to where you could be kept.

Anything at all, he said. Just tell him everything you can. 

“I'm chained up — my wrists, my neck — I can't fight him. There's no one else here, I— don't even know how long has passed, there’s no one else but him here, and it's so damp, and cold, and—” You pause, as you feel the panic rise to your chest. “He… he has these tools — these blades… he calls them ‘his toys’... Astarion— He’s gonna keep going until I break and reveal a secret about you, he wants to take your place and… And then he’ll keep going until I cave in and marry him. Astarion, I can’t—” Your burst into tears, unable to finish your sentence.

“I”m going to fucking kill him,” his anger reverberated in your mind like an impending heartquake, before calming down, but his voice kept its devotion. “My love, I swear on my life, I will find you. Be strong, I know you have it in you. You are stronger than anyone I know. Keep fighting. You can fight him.”

Your connection faltered, and you were met with a lonely silence once again.

That night, you cried until sleep claimed you.

—

Another day of torture went by. Some of your smallest and oldest cuts had already partially healed through the night — not that it was discernible under the newest cuts he made, not that you wanted to look at them, either — as the sight of your body in cuts only made you more desperate. You had glanced over them once and it had broken your spirit; it only made you live those moments over and over again. When Virric finally graced you with a moment of respite, supposedly bored of you for the moment, you spent your time trying to rest, and gain back your energy. You tried to come up with a plan at first, but nothing came to mind; he kept his tools out of reach; there were no guards to subdue; there were no windows to look out of, and no additional information as to where you were kept. Just this same underground cell, with this same damp air, and those same rock walls.

In the worst moments, when he took advantage of you the way he had wished back in the gardens, you wished you were dead instead. Your fear turned into anger at first, when you still had it in you to fight back, until it turned into despair, as his lingering touch violated your body through your pleas. He didn't care for your utter disgust — if anything, it only seemed to entice him more. He became more daring, and when he got tired of playing with you, he forced himself onto you. 

His knife found its way just under your breast, where he skillfully cut around it before roughly squeezing your breast, forcing the blood out of you. You cringed in pain and he only let go once your blood was practically flooding down your belly, mixing with the remains of old blood from his previous operations along with your older cuts. When you finally opened your eyes again, he had removed his trousers, his cock out and hard, and no word came out of you. You refused to believe this was going to happen, a part of you still hoped that Astarion was going to burst the gates to your cell open and save you from this fate, that something, anything, was going to stop him, that it was just a twisted joke and he would draw back. 

But he didn’t. This was Virric, the psychopath who relished in torturing you to no end, cutting you up and leaving you to bathe in your own blood. He couldn’t just rape you, he had to do it his way. 

He cupped a portion of the blood that had leaked from your chest to smear it over his dick, pumping himself a few times before he lifted your legs, to position yourself at your entrance, and it didn’t matter that you kicked and trashed against him, he had you pinned to the wall and impaled on his cock the moments that followed. It felt as if he tore through you, the pain of each of his thrusts rippling through your legs. He kept at it, panting in the crook of your neck, his breath damp and hot until he came, emptying himself inside of you. His moans in your ear — too close, too loud — as he smiled with satisfaction at your tears, before sliding out of you, leaving you with the remains of his climax.

Then, you felt yourself break. For the first time, you considered death, as it felt like the only mercy that would free you from this torment. Long gone was the sassy fighter who enjoyed bantering, even with her worst enemies. The light within you — your will to fight — was fading; your very soul, the remaining part of you that made you human, was a few cuts and touches away from vanishing like your pulse. 

When Virric enters your cell the next day — or night, for all you knew — you don't even lift your head to defy him.

“No insults today? And here I thought I would be able to drag this out for another tenday before you broke under my thumb.”

Another? No, it couldn’t have been that long, you couldn't have been out for more than three days, could you? A tenday is impossible— No, Astarion would’ve found you by then, he would’ve—

“You’ll never understand how glad I was to have finally found you back,” he sighs. “I’ve been thinking about all the things I have wanted to do to you since you slipped my grasp five years ago. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

You don’t notice him making his way towards you, and picking up his favourite knife — you guessed, as it was the one he used the most — a dull one that made you scream for the first time when he cut through the inside of your thigh; he had used your bloody thighs to relieve himself that day. Your legs were still sticky from the resulting outcome. 

You only realise how close he has gotten when you feel the tip of his dagger flick over your nipple hardened by the cold air. You hiss when his hand touches your waist where he stabbed you, the night of the soiree. “It’s disappointing, if not impressive, that your wound is almost healed already. I was looking forward to playing with a new hole.” 

You wince, turning your head away and gulping hard as the disgust threatened to come up to your throat when he let his hands roam freely over your form, until something clicks in your mind from what he said.

You were almost healed already. 

You blame it on this identity still being relatively new to you, on top of the exhaustion from the torture, for not realising it sooner, but with more blood, you could heal completely. You might just break free with the rush of strength it would give you. 

Thinking quickly, you establish what you’re going to do; you would just need him to get even closer than he was, as awful as it sounded, to be able to bite him. With the shackle around your neck, you would need to be almost face to face — or rather, face to neck — with him for this to work. You would only have one chance at this, and you wouldn’t have more time if Virric found out about your vampiric nature — something you had managed to keep secret, as he seemed to have believed you when you justified your feral attack on Alstaer on your feminine nature; long nails were just your birth right and in the heat of the moment, you didn’t know better than to slash his face instead of using your sword. “Silly, silly woman.” He ate it all up.

But if you were to do this, there would be no room for error. If he found out you were a vampire, he would instantly track it down to Astarion, and they would go on a monster hunt against him and his spawn. Worse, even, he would linger on the torture if he had confirmation that you would never die from it. He would keep you balancing between life and death, forever; breaking your spirit, what was left of your humanity. You need to get him to believe he has won this fight. 

You need to submit.

When his knife slides between your thighs, you initiate your plan.

“Please! Please, stop,” You shout with what you have left in your voice, before letting your head fall, feigning to give up, “I… I’ll tell you what you want, but please, I beg you; mercy.” you plead, your voice small and broken as you push another sob. The constant screaming had roughed up your throat, making your voice almost unrecognisable when you spoke for the first time in days.

His knife finally stops its ministrations when he steps back to look at you. “Did my pet have a change of heart?”

Pet. This name hurt more than the others. 

“I can’t… can’t take it anymore… Virric, please” you pant, without looking up to him, as tears stream down your face. As much as this was part of your façade, the words weighed heavy and true — if this didn’t work, you would take your own life at the first chance you got.

He takes your chin between his thumb and finger, forcefully tilting your eyes up. As you slouch over the wall now, you stay much smaller than him. “First of all, you are to refer to me as Master from now on. Am I clear?”

Another angry tear silently falls from your eye, “Yes.”

You barely register how fast he moves when the back of his hand collides with your cheek brutally, “Wrong answer.”

“Y-yes, Master.” The only thing stopping the bile from coming up your throat at this point was the lack of contents in your stomach.

“Good. There is still hope yet for you.”

You take a few shaky breaths before speaking up, “I just… I need to know… What will happen after I tell you… his secret?”

“Exactly what I said would happen: he will be stripped of his title — not that he ever deserved it — and I will receive it in his stead, along with all his assets, which will attribute to me the respect of the high society.” He speaks as if it was already a done deal, as if this was only moments away from being his reality.

“And… me? What are you going to do with me?” You say, your voice merely a whisper by now, as you force out another tear to aggravate your desperation.

“Depends. Obviously you will be mine once more, back where you belong. Perhaps, serving me on your knees, obedient and silent, as any ideal wife should be. That is, of course, if you are a good little puppet, and you follow every and each of my orders. I might even reward you if you are especially complacent. Otherwise,” he eyes down the knife in his grip, dangerously threading down to your navel, making you groan in pain as he cuts you further. “I will have to keep you locked up, and punish you until you learn your lesson. I do not appreciate insubordination.” He lifts your chin up with his other hand, taking in your distress like an aphrodisiac. “I think I’ll keep the collar on you though, it suits you quite well.”

You force your eyes shut once more as you sob, not from the continued pain from his torture — not anymore — but from the mere idea that this was almost your life. This could still be it, but had you not impulsively ran away from your home back then… gods, you don’t even want to think about it, this was torture enough. You thank all the gods that you are an only child, as you don't think you would’ve been able to live with yourself if you had abandoned a sister to this life by running away yourself.

When you feel his blade between your legs, you realise you’re out of time.

“Stop— stop!” you say, your voice cracking, as it comes out between cries. “I’ll tell you what you want.”

You miss the smile of satisfaction on his face, one that you would be too happy to tear off, as he sets down the knife at his table. “I knew you would see reason, princess. Don’t be shy now, tell me everything I want to know, and I’ll make sure to reward you appropriately. We might even pay your parents a little visit! Show them the progress we’ve made with you.”

If you had to see your parents again, especially your father who had sold you off as if you were nothing but cattle, you don’t think you would have the force to restrain yourself from killing them, too.

“I��� just… need…” you mumble, your speech barely audible as you feign exhaustion, panting after each word.

“Speak up, girl. I won’t repeat myself.”

It takes everything you have left in you not to spit at him. “Come… closer…” you whisper to draw him where you need him to be, and the fool obliges you, too blind on his power trip to second guess your intentions as he turns his ear to you, finally exposing his neck to you.

“He’s… he’s a…”

You wait for the right moment, when his neck is just under your chin, to finally bolt up on your legs and dive your head down, plunging your fangs deep into his skin. Your teeth manage to keep him still long enough for you to take three great gulps of his rich blood, which seems to burn as it goes down your throat. He shoves himself away from you, stumbling back to the table with his knives, and brings his hand up to cover the wound in his neck. 

His blood gives you the results you hoped for; your open wounds heal in the blink of an eye, your will to fight springs back to life, and with your renewed strength, you easily tear off your bindings from the wall behind you, before ripping off the one at your neck, finally setting yourself free.

One look at him in his pitiful state awakens something within you, a hunger — for blood, yes — but a blood bath. You can now hear how fast his heart is beating against his ribcage, terrorised at your sight. 

“A vampire?!” he screams, incredulous, as his voice trembles.

You give him a toothy grin, frowning through the tears in your eyes and the blood on your lips, proudly displaying your hidden fangs. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Before he can reach for his arsenal, you whip up the chain linked to your shackled arm to strike his right arm down. The blood loss affecting him messes up with his reflexes, and he receives your hits without a chance of dodging them. He screams when the chains make contact with his arm, and then you finally understand what he meant about your own screams; his pain elicited something extremely satisfying within you, and you wanted more.

As he tries to reach for another blade with his left arm, you repeat the same move, swinging the chain in your hand towards his legs, making him trip, and knocking away the table and his arsenal in the process. When he sees you pick up daggers from his collection, he crawls backwards in panic until he hits the locked door of your cell. He doesn’t even bother to cover his neck which is still profusely bleeding from your feeding, as his eyes look you up and down in a fright that suited him far better than the arrogance he wore before. 

Breathless, he asks, “Ancunín is a bloody vampire?!”

You approach him like a predator would their prey, with a glint in your eyes as you inspect the knife you hold, “Honestly Virric, I can't believe it took you that long to figure it out. The man is a high Elf — you of all people should know there are no high elves with red eyes, come on now.”

“There was word that he was a drow—”

“A drow? With his complexion?” You scoff, crouching to his level. “Maybe you really are as stupid as he painted you out to be.”

“How dare you—” He snarls, as he tries to get to his feet, but you stop him before he can get anywhere, as you plunge the knife in his thigh and twist through the muscles. He cries out, so loud it echoes through the tunnels of his hideout, and you rip out the knife from his leg before you get up to take a look at the state of him.

“You know,” you say, void of any emotions, “I would tell you to send my regards to my parents, but I don’t intend on letting you live long enough to get there.”

As you wind up your next hit, he lifts his arm in protection, yelling to wait. You halt in your tracks, simply by curiosity of what he would say in his moments of desperation, and lower the knife, waiting to see what bullshit he would spit out.

“Think about it,” he pants. “People are going to ask around. You wouldn’t risk going to prison over killing me, would you?” He smiles as he lowers his arm to gauge your reaction, but for the first time, his smile was out of desperation. It’s uneven, shaky, uncertain; he’s terrified of you.

“Beg.”

“W– What?”

“You want me to spare you? Beg for it.”

He remains quiet, blinking anxiously at the sight of the vampire bride that held his life between his hands, and with a shaky voice, he breathes, “I’m— I’m not—.”

You lunge, holding the bloodied knife against his throat just as he had done to you so many times before, pushing against the soft spot between his neck and under-chin, “Speak up, pet.”

He sneers, refusing to comply and you push the knife deeper into his throat, “Unless this precious life of yours isn’t really worth anything?”

“P– Please!” He finally snaps when the knife cuts through the soft skin of his neck, choking on his words. “I— I’m sorry! I’ll disappear, I'll leave Baldur's Gate, you’ll never hear of me again, please! I- I beg you, spare me!”

Under your hand, Virric shakes. Not only his voice, but his whole body; you dare to think that you’re shaking his spirit, too. And all of this only in the span of a few minutes, yet again beating Virric at his own game. You drink in his terror, and decide to play some more. “Gods, you sound pathetic.”

You pull away, straightening up, “I don’t think you’re worth my mercy, Virric.” You eye the knife in your grasp, inspecting it as you keep talking, “What was it that you said that night at the ball? You wouldn’t want people to see you like this, now would you?” You shoot him a deadly glare, before grabbing another knife that was discarded earlier, and as you walk towards him, he lifts his remaining working arm in an attempt to try and stop you, “Wait! How will you explain my disappearance?”

You smile faintly, your words are devoid of emotion, empty, yet, threatening. “I’ll find something.” You step closer, the dagger burning in the palm of your hand for retaliation going straight into his other leg. After his screams settle back down, you crouch and lean closer to say, “After all, no one would have respected you if they knew you were bested by the very woman you swore to force into submission.” 

You lean into his ear, whispering. “I’ll make sure everyone knows.”

Before he can say anything to stop you once more, your knife is deep in his guts, once, then twice, then more times than you can count. You finally pull away, watching as his life leaves his eyes, drinking in the horror of his last moments alive.

As his body goes limp, falling to the side, you step back, dropping the blade from your hand before falling to your knees, the adrenaline that pushed you through this encounter leaving you all at once. Your breathing accelerates without you being able to control it, seemingly forgetting it wasn’t a vital necessity to you anymore, and you physically feel your heart tightening in your chest. You try to compose yourself, try to tell yourself you’re fine, but a wave of raw emotions hits you all at once and tears flood your vision. 

This man would never hurt you again, and your bleeding wounds had healed, but you had to drink his blood for this to happen. His blood, in your body, just like he had been without your consent, for days. Your skin itches at the thought of feeling his blood course through your veins and you want to rip off your skin, leave this body for a new one, remove the stains from his abuse, scratch away his touches — no more, no more, no more.

In the distance, you hear frantic footsteps and you lift your eyes towards the sound — guards. That must be them, posted further away, just in case Virric had the need for them, and they were coming for you. Quickly, you grab back the longest dagger among Virric's tools, and get back on your feet, preparing yourself to attack the first guard — no, not a guard.

Astarion.

Your body refuses to move, frozen in place by some magic, refusing to see him there, standing before your cell — he had come for you after all — and the moment after he rips away the door to your cell, you are in his arms. Still frozen, still unbelieving. 

“Oh darling… My sweet love… I finally found you. It's me. I'm here.” He pulls back, his hands reaching to cup your face between them. “I'm here. It’s over.” 

“He… He’s…” You wanted to try to explain, but there was never the need to, not with Astarion, not when he had felt every cut and bruise and touch Virric had imposed on you.

“I know, my love. I know.” In the second that followed, you dropped your weapon and the one after, you cried, and cried, until your cries turned into screams, unable to keep the emotions bottled up anymore. Your voice is guttural, broken between sobs, depicting just how broken you were inside.

He pulled back from you to surround you with his jacket, warm from him wearing it, and protecting your body from any unwanted eyes, before picking you up in his arms.

“Let's go home.”

You walked away without a second look at Virric's butchered remains.

-

The gods have made us a virgin hunter

Who in the storm becomes stillness

I always wondered why they all came back for more

Came back for more

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @nyx-knox @anacdoce @jwera @annnagennnie @angeldarkness95 @marlowethebard @hellethil @frankie-mercury

[kichona-s]

Hereby requesting facial structure rant

ok for those who dont know this is reference to my post where i cry about george's beautiful fucking face at 2am

this is pretty fucking specific and also pretty long so i wont clog your tl with it so its under the cut

OK FOR GEORGE. Personality and everything else aside he has my most favourite face out of the entire grid (sorry guanyu) BECAUSE. LOOK AT HIM. THERE SO MANY NICE ANGLES AND ITS SO NICE AN LONG AND HIS CHEEKBONES??? THE JAW??? his nose also fits his face really nicely ok but the key is to not look at him head-on you need to get the side profiles and the 3/4 views because FUCK. i love so much theres so many points of interest for his face also his chin juts out really strong which looks lowkey kinda funny in some pictures but it really adds to the whole angleley bony face structure he has going on anyway. george my number 1 fav face the only thing im not a big fan of are his ears rip theyre too round for the whole angular coherency BUT THATS FINE IDC

MOVING ON TO MAX VERSTAPPEN (this is not done in a ranking order btw i havent drawn the whole grid so i cant properly rank everyone) ok like im gonna be real with yall. i thought he was fucking ugly as shit when i first got into f1. like i looked at his photo and was like ??? ig he wins a lot lmao OK BUT THEN LIKE A FEW MONTHS AGO I KEPT GETTING MAX STUFF ON MY TIKTOK FYP AND I WAS LIKE. HOLD ON. HIS PERSONALITY KINDA CUTE ASF. ok yea basically i gaslit myself into loving his face (either that or charles possessed me). for max im way too drawn to his lips (@loquarocoeur bro u know this lmfao) and ngl anyone who read the notes in my face breakdown u could probably tell but i love his lips??? so much??? gonna keep it pg here but he should suck on more things other than the twisty redbull can straw things

still on max but i really like how fucking square his face is. its so refreshing to draw. also did you notice that he has a small ass forehead?? bc he does. he looks wrong when i draw his forehead too big its kinda funny (looking at YOU oscar). i also really like his ear shape? it bends pretty low so it looks kinda cute and i try to make sure i draw it properly lmfao. special note to when hes looking down but then his eyes look up and holy smokes it brings out his nose bridge and the eyebrow bone thing SO WELL???!! anyway i want to eat him

for oscar uh. his face is oval? i guess?? after all the oscars ive drawn youd think i have more to say but i dont :( his face is pretty and also sometimes a pain to get right but other than that nothing too much for me to rant about. OK BUT HIS HAIR??? LOVE HIS HAIR I LOVE THE FUCKING SWOOPY THING IT DOES (it also makes my life WAYYY easier bc i can just draw the swoop and most people know its oscar yay for good character design). also everyone is right he does look like a cat. a cat with a massive fucking forehead. also whenever i draw him i remember that hes only three years older than me and its pretty scary ngl! thats hitting a bit too close to home for my taste! hes cute though and ive definitely drawn some banger oscars so one love

NOW FOR LANDO WHOOOOIMABOUTAMAKEANAMEFORMYSELFHERE! ok firstly his face is like a V so i always need to remind myself to bring the sides of his face in more compared to oscar. also did you know his eyes are a bit lopsided? theyre on different parallel lines im telling you go look at the 2023 official driver photos its So Bad i want to cry (that was also my first introduction to him so. i thought he was fucking ugly too). his face is really interesting to draw especially with his eyebrows that fade in and out and are really fucking bushy in the middle LMAO. do i love his face? nah. is it fun to draw? yea pretty fucking fun ESPECIALLY because he somehow suits all the funny shit i wanna put him in like dresses and skirts and bikinis (and also @cx-boxbox is an enabler istg half of the landos ive drawn probably wouldnt exist without her) also his ears look pointy from certain angles and i think thats really cute so i always draw them pointy :))

for charles uh i dont like drawing his hair its a pain. nice face i guess

LASTLY MY ONE AND ONLY!! THE MAN WHO BREAKS ME OUT OF ARTBLOCK REPEATEDLY!!!! ZHOU GUANYU!!!!!!! he's just very cute to me i love his stupid fucking eyebags AND ALSO THE WAY HE SMILES IS ADORABLE I WANNA PASS OUT :(((((( i dont draw his non-chibi version as much bc whenever i do i feel the need to make him Perfect (because hes my fav yknow) so i tend to just. not do it. unless i need to cure my artblock then i draw him so idk hes like my pc reset button. anyway i love zhou and i love looking at pictures of zhou and if he doesnt get a seat next year i will probably cry. also shoutout to sweetcorn the bestest most adorablest cat (wins out jimmy and sassy btw i dont care sweetcorn is the best fight me)

comments questions and arguments are all encouraged i stand firm in my stances (for now at least we'll see again 6 months later)

[doomed-era]

also. i was going to ask this before but i didnt know how to word it: any zelda tropes you like/dislike? stuff like fairies being guides for link or the concept of sages/Legendary Sword or how link and zelda are always depicted or reoccurring characters like impa or beedle or epona. though theres probably not. a lot of tropes considering most games are vastly different from each other. uhh yeah if youve got nothing . things that were done from a zelda game that you liked?

OOH. tbh I had to think about this a bit (my gripes are usually with the fandom and how they depict the tropes as a Strict Narrative Rule) but! I do have some

UH ONES I HATE. this is gonna be long no matter what so it's going under a cut

Number one has got to be making link into a super special boy for basically no reason!!! being from a special type of knights is. so irrelevant to everything else about alttp link that I think a lot of people legitimately forget this. it barely ever comes up and it's honestly not that important to the story except as an excuse for why link's the only one that can grab the pendants and pull the master sword, which. why not just have him be the one to do this because he's just really determined? Ocarina of Time...tried this, sort of? almost completely irrelevant AGAIN. in twilight princess and wind waker they are just some guy basically and this is the best direction they could have gone with his character. except they ruined it in botw and ss and I will neverrrr forgive them for this. botw link beats up grown men at five years old he's like superbaby instant knight and I HATE it. it's just stupid. I don't even care that it applies pressure to him as a character and seems to affect him; they could have just made it an in-universe lie and it would have had the exact same effect so genuinely screw that trope

number two is calling random soldiers knights stop fucking doing this. i dont care that its fictional fantasyland it annoys me

number three! the 3D games' great fairies! I hate almost all of them the oot/mm great fairies are freaks, botw ones are so pretty but they're creepy as hell, and twilight princess is just a naked lady and it's stupid I hate her. wind waker minish cap and alttp fairies are gongeous though

number four. everyone thinking link is cool and or hot. I hate this in universe and in the fandom. I don't care that the devs wanted to make him """"cool"""" he's 100% always a LOSER!!!!

number five I hate the hijacked by ganon trope in zelda games so much. STOP ffs please let ganon/ganondorf take the spotlight we all love him. or let another villain be the main baddie

ok now for ones I like :)

nunberone...SENTIENT MONSTERS SENTIENT MONSTERS BABEY SENTIENT MOSNTERS ILVOE SRENTIERHSDJKFHSFHAAAAA

GRRAAA ITS A SECRET TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOE THE MOBLIN!!! KING BULBLIN SAYING HE FOLLOWS THE STRONGEST SIDE!!! THE ENTIRE DARK WORLD ITS SO

two. npc companions...rips off my shirt to reveal another shirt that says I LOVE MIDNA AND TATL AND EZLO AND KING OF RED LIONS AND GHOSTIE ZELDA AND MEDLI AND MAKAR AND TETRA AND SIDON AND YUNOBO AND

number three...I love random gods and spirits that are just hanging out because. keaton malanya zephos satori light spirits what have you. theyre great I need more of that.

number four incredibly weird npcs. need i say more

number five soldiers being extremely incompetent and dumb or getting possessed. soldiers as enemies or easily corruptible people

number six that one character that doesn't like link. you know what i mean (revali. groose. mido. iirc ralph? maybe? I haven't played much of the oracle games)

number seven hyrule with a dark and bloody past. and not only that but a fairly simple presentation of it that's clearly hiding a more complex underbelly. its just neat to see simple, clear-cut writing tell you so much with so little. it's a big reason I love alttp; it's simple but there's so much grief in it

number eight uh. clawshot/hookshot :] good stuff

[lollytea]

well lolly , since theres only six days left can we get some super wrong or super right predictions from you?

I'm a little late (4 days now!!) Anyways I'm not good at predictions. Here's some silly little wishes instead. I know I'm not getting any of this but I can dream. (Most of these copy n pasted directly from discord.)

- Gus casting a huge terrifying illusion around everything as he gives Belos one long "reason you need to repent for your sins" speech. He walks towards him, shifting into all the people he's hurt over the centuries. Then he turns into Evelyn, then Caleb. I want Gus to be Belos' worst nightmare basically.

- I've seen takes that Gus being the key against Belos and all the grimwalker lore wouldn't fit and has nothing to do with his arc and it shouldn't be his responsibility. But like

Gus has spent his whole life being deceived for being trusting and gullible. Gus going up against a man who has built his life on lies and deception. Oh it would fuck. And all the similarities between Gus and the Collector. Like this part of the story is practically tailored for Gus to slip into. If you know how to write it. And I just hope they know how to write it

Ohhhhh I know Gus already loathes Belos as much as anybody but ohhhhh. He learns the Collector lore and then turns to Belos, eyes glowing like "You lied to him. You said you were his friend but you lied to him."

- I'm not an Amity Blight expert so I'm probably far off. But I've been thinking about it. I'm wondering if maybe her puppetification is JUST her, rather than it being all of the kids. And maybe Odalia is directly responsible.

And considering Amity is overdue for her ✨️Moment✨️ I'm wondering if this might be it. There's a running theme in the owl house when it comes to puppets and puppet masters, and this is directly linked to the characters who suffered abuse and manipulation at the hands of their parental figures.

Hunter got his puppet moment in TTT. Maybe Amity gets something similar in WAD. I know she's HAD her big important moment of establishing her autonomy in EE and then again in COTH. But maybe its one final nod to it. I also find it interesting that in spite of being puppetfied her hand is moving. Like to symbolise this defiance and stubbornness to comply with what Odalia has demanded of her ever since EE

- I've been mostly thinking about the potential scenario of Belos!Luz and GG!Hunter from Luz's POV. Cuz idek if we're getting the actual Hunter or a dream version of Hunter.

But like. It's FUCKED. Because Belos was Hunter's blood relation. He was his family. A terrible twisted version of a family but the only kind Hunter knew.

And then came Luz, who reinvented the meaning of family for him. She confided in him, she trusted him, she loved him. She made that boy her family because she adored him.

So THIS is deranged. Its warping the relationship they've built together into this depraved disturbing thing. The merger of these two family dynamics into one sickening thing. Like Luz was his shelter. But now she's become the exact thing he was running from.

Having Hunter look at her with blatant fear, shrinking himself so he stands beneath her, the horrible emotions that must make her feel. Oh I HATE THIS!!!

And even getting this miniscule comfort of Hunter ripped away from her. Like he was her PERSON. The only one who was aware of the horrible things she's done and she doesn't feel judged by, for several months. Like if all else failed, at least Hunter didn't hate her.

And now THIS scenario which is like "maybe....maybe he should be the one to hate you the most."

- Want a scene where Willow and Hunter gotta split up and there's some kind of antagonist pursuing them. They've only got a moment of peace before it reaches them. And Willow's like "You go ahead. I'll hold them off." (Like she did in LR) and Hunter doesn't want to leave her. But the circumstances are dire and he knows he has to and he KNOWS she'll keep herself alive. But he still worries. So they promise each other that they'll stay safe and Willow turns her back to him after that, preparing herself for a fight and expecting him to hurry off now. But he doesn't. He lingers there for an extra moment, wanting to tell her something but unable to put it into words. Then he zaps himself to her side, hastily smooches her cheek and zaps away before she can recover from her shock.

And then Willow is just. Left there. Stunned. Staring blankly at the space where he once was. And then a smile cracks her mouth wide open. Whatever she's fighting catches up to her and Willow can only cackle giddily, her engine all revved up, and she's all like LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

Willow gets one teeny tiny little smooch by Hunter and it makes her go all "I AM POWERFUL AND I WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!!!"

- Actually overall I believe in a Willow and Hunter comic relief. I think Gus and Amity are both having special spotlight in this episode. And Luz will finally reunite with Eda and King. And idk WHERE the fuck Camila is (smooching puppet Darius or smth). But ya Willow and Hunter are gonn be so cringe.

- Evelyn Clawthorne voice reveal and Irish accent.

- Belos dies an excruciatingly painful death

- Hunter Noceda

- If there is not a big dramatic scene dedicated to Willow and Gus reuniting with their dads I am fucking killing somebody.

[hurrakka]

oh man. theoretically in a l4d au luis would've helped develop the green flu yeah? sure it's a naturally occurring virus in l4d canon (maybe. we're not really sure where it comes from cus ceda doesnt say shit but ellis mentions the government using bio-bombs in one of his keith stories so it could be a bioweapon?) but this is an au we can do what we want.

anygays im just imagining leon getting infected. we know better-safe-than-sorry-guy (i call him scout cus his va is the same as scout from tf2) is human when we first find him but experiencing extreme paranoia and some compulsions then a few minutes later he fully turns, going from able to speak and function to choking and growling and fully mutated (either into a hunter, boomer, or smoker) so there's always the possibility of a rapid transformation too. im thinking leon falling behind a bit while theyre walking because he's coughing and chokin and shit n he falls to his knees and luis is all like "bro whats wrong!!" and he gets to watch as leon Turns Before His Eyes. even better if he turns into a hunter cus if you look closely at their models they don't have eyes. we can't be exactly sure what Happens to their eyes when they turn but the two most popular headcanons are both equally brutal-- either Luis has to watch Leon's eyes quite literally melt out of his skull or he gets to watch him claw his own eyes out. Fun!

BUT there's graffiti in one of the safe rooms arguing over how long it actually takes to turn-- whether it's 20 minutes, 2 hours, overnight, or some other wacky chunk of time. so there's also the thought of Leon turning slowly. progressively becoming irritable and irrational and confused and him slipping in and out of conciousness for days until Luis goes to check his temp one day and he fucking Lunges.

and if leon turns and luis makes it out alive imagine the Guilt. he feels awful enough in re4 canon when there's a cure,,, but the green flu mutates too often to develop a proper cure for it. if leon gets infected and he isnt immune then he's just. done. theres nothing that can help him at that point. and luis already feels so goddamn guilty about the millions of people he's killed and now leon's gone too and he cant help but visualize every single person who had somebody ripped from them by his hands.

oh man and if luis has to put leon down? its joever. that man would Never recover. i dont even know if he'd keep trying to survive at that point. maybe just for that shred of hope of developing a cure (even though he knows it'd be damn-near impossible but it's the only thing hes got, dammit) and stopping this whole disaster.

coughs. sorry for the rambling i simply have been obsessed with l4d for going on 12 years now so <3

I had to lay down for a moment bc of the feels and potential outcomes in the event luis lives on while leon well...yeah (thinkin abt how buddy from re damnation would jus turn as well since leon is no longer there and that made me big sad dgkrnekhbfgnjklh) Since the re verse has like morbillion viruses, the green flu existing would be plausible so its just another stonks moment for umbrella lol. But yeah luis would absolutely be devastated. He probably doesnt have the guts to pull the trigger, least he can do is to restrain leon for a while and tries to find whatever humanity he has left in his nonexistent eyes. Tho in my witch!leon hc I think luis may have a chance to keep leon around??? Since witches seem to have the most humanity among the infected (and thats not saying much) he could probs observe him a lil bit without getting eaten right away. It would just be a warm bodies scenario ngl (i just watched that movie recently so this is huge copium dksfghbshgndfh) Honestly Im glad l4d fandom still alive after all these years. That game will always be goated and it was one of my high-school obsessions. I used to do crossover stuff back then and Im back to doing it now. Time rly do be a flat circle

[tatoasting]

Worst part is how little I would have given a shit if he just told me he had a girlfriend beforehand. I wish I knew why he did it, any of it. I have so many questions for him that I can never ask! Like, also how many people was he actively doing this with? I figure theres the girlfriend, me, and probably whoever was so interesting he stopped responding to me as much. I wish I knew who all they were. I wish I knew how his girlfriend is feeling now. I wonder if its hard to keep up with it all. He was so good at pretending he couldnt lie... I should have noticed something when the only person he was capable of lying to at game night was me. Hes so fucking smart. Could succeed at anything he puts his mind to. Arrogant fuck could only succeed for so long. I wonder how she found out. You know, he was big on pet names but he called me my name a lot, I wonder if thats got anything to do with anything. I wonder if I was even the most important person he was talking to, to him I mean. I wonder if he was happy with his girlfriend. Clearly something was off if he was capable of giving me so much attention for a while. What if his sleep schedule was fine this whole time but he just pretended it wasnt so he could spend his mornings giving her attention? I wonder what he was up to when he was "hanging out with friends right now but I really just want to go back to my room" I always wondered what exactly was stopping him. I wonder about that night he suddenly went from ready to play minecraft with me to one minor inconvenience and he just hangs up. No time to think of anything else we could be doing, no time to beg him to stay, hes just suddenly saying goodbye and thats it. My friend was right that him not wanting to talk on the phone was a red flag lol. I cant fucking believe how much I wanted this man in my life and still kinda do. Its all just kinda crumbling in front of me. I've never had this happen to me before, I dont know how to handle it. Ugh, I just. I wish he was here and also not a fucking asshole. Nothing would make me feel better getting over someone like them being here yk? At least it was only a month sunk into this but also... idk, I wish I could have known him longer. I wish I could have had more of his attention. He was so good to me for someone who was so shitty to someone else. What do I do with all the memories? What do I do with the information I learned? What do I do now? I dont even feel like turning him into art, I would rather just rip him apart yk? But also I have this soft feeling in my heart right now, like, at least I got an update on him today! At least theres that...

[thesugarhole]

oh yea funniest thing to happen in my sims game yesterday (and by that i mean i want to rip my hair off). strap in its a long one

>finish makeover of current apartment building

>changelotzoning apartmentbase

>mailbox stays residential

>move family in

>mailbox is selectable and gives mishmash debug commands (not the ones youre used to seeing)

>move family out

>convert to and from home to apartment a couple times, delete mailbox in hopes the correct one shows up

>doesnt

>knows that a family in a mailboxless lot can bork everything (to the nonsimmers: the sims 2 mailbox is load bearing)

>look online for solutions

>make mailbox buyable mod

>says to put it in the bin folder instead of the downloads folder so that it doesnt show up with a "custom item" star and therefore deletable from game, causing issues

>this sign cant stop me because im only using the mod once

>load game, mailbox doesn't show up in catalogue

>begrudgingly put mod in bins folder instead

>mailbox still not buyable

>remove downloads folder and make a backup of my neighborhood

>open lot with no custom content. its flayed but the mailbox shows up in the catalogue now. place it

>puts downloads folder back, opens game

>lot somewhat flayed, as certain types of cc wont be recognized if the lot is open without them

>"warning: this lot is infected with the super duper hug (or whatever the fuck is called)" (a different mod can tell you about this btw, and theres another one that squashes the bug as soon as the lot is loaded so not a big deal)

>"from the ingame mailbox??"

>note that the mailbox is gone from the catalogue again, so something in my mods folder might be purposefully hiding it, or have the same GUID overrriding its presence

>changelotzoning fiddling

>mailbox wont change

>new idea: load the game with no cc again, put the mailbox in a collection folder

>cc back in, open lot

>go to folder

>mailbox is there, marked with a custom star despite the file being in the bin

>its also unselectable, i cant place it

>2am

luckily since im on belladonna cove and all the apartment lots there are also on the lot bin, im thinking of just taking extensive screenshots of my makeover, delete the building and place it fresh again, then speedrun the changes.

but before that, it might be in my best interests to find whats overlapping with the mailbox and get rid of it. it might also be the cause of why the mailbox wasnt changing automatically to the apartment mailbox and the community lot phone, as it tends to do.

actually, i never tried categorizing it as a community lot, placing the phone, then changing to apartment and see if helped... i could just to save myself some extra work, but ill need to review my stuff regardless.

🙃 isnt it fun isnt the sims 2 fun. nothing will beat my buy mode straight up disappearing that one time though

[hydrossity-zone]

since you’ve mentioned using blender before, how hard is it to learn? i’m curious what other people’s experiences are with the program.

That.. depends on your definition of “hard”, really. Despite its accessibility, Blender really isnt an intuitive program; Im still learning new stuff about it every day, and Ive been using it since version 2.74(!) (geometry nodes my detested..)

Though, if youre just using it for basic box-modeling and rigging, then Id say 90% of the battle with Blender is just memorizing all the damn keyboard shortcuts lol. The good thing about it being free is that theres thousands of tutorials for pretty much anything, so even if the program looks intimidating there are countless ways to get started and break into it.

I dont actually use Blender as much as I should to give out proper advice myself since Ive been prioritizing 2d work and just use 3d as a supplement and a hobby tbh….

My experience with 3d is definitely a bit different than most though, since Ive had formal education in CAD-modeling which is VERY different from modeling for animation and games — stuff like products and engineering and prototypes for 3d print (3d-printing our models was actually part of the course in fact— it was fun! I have professional CAD certification from those years now). The primary software we used there was AutoDesk Inventor, SolidWorks, AutoCAD… we did have Maya and technically could use it if we wanted to, but it was never part of the course.

Point being, I was working from a vastly different mindset when it came to 3d modeling where next to Nothing was actually transferable to modeling for creative work like what Maya and Blender are for. So, starting Blender during its 2.7x version, doing something entirely different for 4 years and then coming back to Blender’s 2.8+ version was…. A Lot. For sure. (Blender’s 2.8 update was one of the biggest if not the biggest updates to the program that completely redefined it as a whole — all the version updates between 2.0 and 2.79 and 3.0 and 4.0 dont even come close to what happened between 2.79 and 2.8.)

I guess Im saying is that, even if you know nothing, or if what you do know is wrong/not useful, you can pick it up and figure it out any time. There are so many resources that can help you, at least one of them is bound to be the one that clicks. (No, you dont even need to do the infamous Blender Donut Tutorial to figure it out— I myself never did it, after all!)

A big part of figuring stuff out for me is just looking at what other people have done and figuring out why, which is also why I wanna make my model rips open to people, bc model rips genuinely have helped me. Just taking what was made already and playing with them like theyre touys does actually help! Just seeing their geometry for yourself up-close or posing them and seeing how their bones and rigging work, its good learning material! (Id probably recommend looking at people’s personal rips if possible before going to places like the-models-resource or SketchFab, seeing as theyre pretty hit-or-miss in terms of quality. I also just have a lot of beef with tmr in general lol.)

This has been more summarization of personal experience rather than any actual advice, but I hope you could at least take something from it!

[poetryvampire]

I'm loosing my mind today and I just need to vent about my shitty apartment and my shitty landlords that are the worst and the stupid situation I'm in

Cw animal cruelty

So I'm living with fam right now and our apartment has a weird wooden balcony off the living room. Over the last year so many pigeons are living under/on it because there's a lot of open space under it because the birds pecked a big open hole in it anyway at first it was like five of them and it was like whatever but now theres over 20 of them and they make so much mess and noise and it's just becoming a unmanageable.

We've been asking the management for do some about it for awhile especially sense my mother has health problems and doesn't like how un clean it is and keeping it clean is a huge job 🙃 but we were like pls maybe patch up the hole and consult animal control see if they could idk put like a smell of something they don't like or a colour or pattern that might make them move (nothing we tried has worked)

BUT instead the just boarded up the bottom but fair ok maybe we can research more ways to put them off. Also there was just a dead bird on the balcony after they did it (we werent home at the time) don't know how or why that happened

ANYWAY so of course the birds are cooing non stop trying to get into it and like rip. But my bed room window is right by it and early this morning I heard load peeping and cooing and suddenly I realized there's literally a nest full of babies birds now locked under the balcony and like literally I literally asked them to make sure there were no birds or nests in there before if they did that just in case because they've had babies before and I'm losing my mind

I've been calling so many places and either nothing is open or willing to help. Even the people said that MAYBE they could come take a look tomorrow

LIKKE???

you people actually didn't even bother to check if there was a nest before you sealed it up and like it's not hidden I can see the outline of it through the lattice they put ITS RIGHT THERE AND THEYLL MAYBE LOOK AT IT TOMORROW LIKE WHAT

And I cant reach it from my window and I can barely reach in from the balcony and I have no way to get on the roof like I tried ripping it open the best I could and I made some holes that I hope are big enough but omg

I just feel stupid and fucked up cause the birds won't stopped screaming and like I didn't want any of them to get hurt and I can't get to them and every one a called isn't open or doesnt think it's an emergency or doesn't care and I've just been crying about it all day like wft I feel like I'm in a nightmare

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 46 (SPOILERS AHEAD)

This episode was SO DAMN ROUGH, BE WARNED GUYS!! LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED FROM IT FR FR

I'M NEVER GOING TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER

OH NO, TECHNICAL ISSUES WITH THE BEAN FOOTAGE

Haha Andy and Gary Goodberry! Yes!!

ANDY GOT ROASTED BY GARY

Gary has had four wives confirmed /j

Andy is so gender, like bro give me some fr fr

Hootsie plush is so cute

Andy get off ya phone, Nikkie is DMing /j

Blue roses? Like the ones in Twig’s eyes?

OH FUCK, THERES A JABBERWOCK STATUE

Blue and red roses mixing together? I wonder what that's for

Jabberwocky vs Jabberwock debate, personally I don't care which they say cause it's literally a one letter difference.

These dudes can do either so much in one in-game day or absolutely nothing in one in-game day, no in-between lmao.

“Torbek feels bad about eating all those cookies now” Bro don’t feel bad, she practically force-fed ya like five of ‘em

I love Nikkie’s cool ass leather jacket this episode, girlboss fr fr

Torbek has IBS, that's totally something he'd have with how much of a garbage disposal he is, bro eats rubber hoses, feathers, dirt, literal trash water, basically anything he can get ahold of and expects nothing bad to happen

GRICKO STOP, IF TORBEK PUKES I'M GONNA PUKE FR FR (I HATE PUKING SOUNDS)

Frosty totally is a weird trick or treater, bro gets excited over black licorice and math

Old man frosty needs his glasses to read, such an old man

“This must be what Gricko feels like all the time” BUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!!!!

Torbek can't read (T-T) I would definitely read to him :(

I bet money that the Vorpal sword is the one Skabatha wrote about in the wanted poster for that “Billy of the feywild” guy

WE NEED A HERSHEY PARK ONESHOT FR FR

Gideon being coaxed to try and rip the sword from the stone is so funny, i'm surprised they didn't call him a bitch lmao

Vandalizing private property is more important to Kremy then the multiple times they've ALL done indecent exposure

Father divorce arc 2: electric boogaloo /j

Torbek drinks water like a dog, bro just sticks his whole face in it

YOOOOOOOO NAT 20 FOR PULLING THE SWORD OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN YEEEEEES

My fire dad is so cool!!

“Im not afraid of this” Famous last words from Gricko considering what i’ve heard happens at the end of the episode

Torbek back at it again with the “alleged” public masturbation charges

Polycule watches Gideon masturbate and have done it before /j these dudes are so dumb, but I love em

My S/I would be grossed out at the idea though

Take “getting head” to a whole new level /j

Andy’s hair is so gender, I wish I had hair half as good as his fr fr

When they all started singing kiss from a rose I legitimately choked on my pomegranate seeds because it caught me so off guard

Gideon ranting about final fantasy is so funny because i can see my S/I being like “What the fuck are you talking about, Gid?”

ANOTHER NAT 20, GIDEON IS REALLY PUTTING THE FIRE IN FIRE GENASI THESE PAST FEW EPISODES

OH GOD, THE FOUNTAIN IS CUMMING ITSELF AFTER LOSING ITS HEAD

PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON GIDEON

“Help me guhlump” Suggestive Kremy + Gideon moment

ANOTHER NAT 20??????? OMFG

Richie doing the “Okay, Okay” to Nikkie is SO DAMN FUNNY, TWINS FR FR

Gricko chasing Torbek around with the Jabberwock head is so family coded

TRY PAINTING THE ROSE ON THE SWORD PURPLE FOR GODS SAKE

I love it when Torbek gets all smart and talks with big words

B&E is a family activity, They all take my S/I for their first crime and end up at an ice cream parlor

Gricko is a good dad, so supportive of Hootsie and all her stuff

Kingdom hearts reference yessss

Torbek once again references Agdon Longscarf again with the whole “Take it from Torbek, you can't get red out of blue” thing

Ooooo, who's the little girl???

SHE'S PLAYING WITH KNIGHTS MADE OF METAL, GLASS, WOOD, CLAY AND BONE!!! THAT'S THEIR THINGS FROM THE BEAN FOOTAGE!!!! ALSO SHE'S HAVING THEM FIGHT A STUFFED JABBERWOCK?? FORESHADOWING???

Ah yes Kremy, insult the mysterious child to her face

SHE'S SO CUTE, I LOVE MORGANA (Persona 5 reference???)

She’s sus tho, why is she in the desert??

Gricko… Hootsie would absolutely destroy the toys, don't let her play w them

Gideon being very brutal to the poor girl >:(

Her grandmother doesn't want her to see the prince anymore??? VERY SUS

Torbek making friends is nice :)

OH MY GOD SHE KILLED GIDEON, HE'S A MARIONETTE TOO

SHE TURNED TORBEK INTO WOODY, WE GOT TWO SOUTHERN MEN NOW

Keep the snake in your pants Torbek, please

OH GOD SHE’S TURNING EVERYONE INTO DIFFERENT THINGS

CHUCKLES IS BACK, YAAAAAAAAA YYY!!!!

Torbek stepped on his “snake” lmao

FROSTY’S A MIME YESS, TWO CLOWNS!! NOW ALL WE NEED IS KREMY TO BE SOMETHING AND THE WHOLE FAM WILL BE TRANSFORMED

Also my S/I would be freaking TF out about everyone being turned into weird things, like three seconds away from a mental breakdown freaked out

Derek is too good at being a mime, bro really has 100+ different skills

KREMY AND GRICKO, STOP BEING MEAN TO THE BABY GIRL

MACHO MAN GIDEON SAVAGE!!

TRANSFORM MY ALLIGATOR DAD MORGANA, MAKE HIM SUFFER

MR. POTATO HEAD KREMY WITH A BROOKLYN ACCENT LMAO

OH FUCK, SHE KILLED CHUCKLES

Kremy shitting out a new mustache and new top hat made me literally choke

PRINCESS GOBLINETTE!!!!

She's changing mime frost, i really liked that one 

Torbek lost his damn snake omfg

If I was also changed, I’d want to be a squishmallow fr fr. I love those fuckin things

FROST IS A KEN DOLL, OMFG SHE'S HAD KENOUGH

YAY BRET’S BACK!!!!

“Let's find out, can you open your ass?” HHSHSHSHSAHAHAHAA YESSS

Bret’s house and Torbek’s “snake” is in Kremy’s house lmao

“It's hiiiiiiiiiiigh time we come up with a plan” OVERWATCH REFERENCE FROM TORBEK??

I love goblinette so much, mikey does such a funny girl voice

Twig has her eyes back!

“Whattya think fellas, we whack grandma?” MOBSTER POTATO KREMY LMAOOOOO

Has Twig always been a puppet??? Or is Morgana just being a lil silly and thinking OUR Twig is HER Twig cause she’s a BROWNIE!!

Gideon and Torbek immediately trying to summon Bullyjugs is so damn funny, fuckin pervs! /j

Torbek being shoulder deep in Kremy’s ass lmao “There ain't no eyeballs in this ass!”

Chaotic polycule fr fr, I love these goofy bitches

IS MORGANA TASHA? NIKKIE SAID “You cannot see that boy anymore Ta- I mean Morgana, you cannot see him!” AND SHE HAS SISTERS LIKE THE FOUR HAGS AND IS THE BABY!!

I really like cowboy Torbek, He is very funny and the accent is really nice

TWIG IS A PERSON, NOBODY OWNS HER >:(

YAY, TWIG IS COMING WITH DA PARTY!

“Make like a tree and get da fuck out of here” HA

OH FUCK, WE’RE IN AN HOURGLASS AND NIKKIE IS USING HER BAVLORNA VOICE (I don’t think its Bavlorna though) WE’RE GONNA GET CRUSHED BY SAND

OH FUCK, THE JABBERWOCK

The Jabberwock figure looks so cool!!!! Whoever painted it did a really good job

NATURAL 20 FOR INITIATIVE FROM GIDEON!! SOMEBODY CHECK HIS DICE FR FR /J

“I'm last with a 13” Nah Andy, I rolled a damn 12 with a +0 so I’M last (I like to roll for shits n giggles uwu)

NAT 20 FOR KREMY ON A DEX SAVE AGAINST THE JABBERWOCK (I rolled a 16)

HOOTSIE GOT A NAT 20 TOO!!!!

38 POINTS OF DAMAGE TO ANYONE WHO GOT A 17 OR LESS??? BRO I’D ALREADY BE DEAD (My constitution is 17 with a modifier of +3, idk if I’d actually be dead but it would be hella funny to imagine I take one attack and boom I’m dead)

I think at max, I’d have 43 health so while alive I’d be VERY HURT (5 health remaining)

FROST AND I ARE ALREADY DEAD AND GRICKO IS CLOSE BEHIND, BRO WE’RE FUCKED

Why the hell does it want the chess pieces????

Good idea using cure wounds on Frost, he’s waaay too OP to let die.

Frost using magic circle on Fey creatures just gives me a funny/sad idea of since satyrs are technically fey creatures, my S/I being left for dead outside the circle with the Jabberwock by accident.

DAD N0000000, GIDEON DIED!!!

TWO AUTO DEATH FAILS FOR GID NOOOOOOO

*Ominous jazz starts playing* I love my alligator dad

“Come get me ya big bitch” Kremy protecting his family!!!

JDDJSJJSDDJ (T-T) TORBEK TRYING TO REASON WITH IT MAKES ME SO SAAAAAD, PROTECT THAT MAN AT ALL COST FR FR

GIDEON FUCKIN DIED

KREMY NOOOOOO, BOTH MY DADS AND I ARE DEAD

GRICKO IS TRYING TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER AND TELLING HER TO RUN AHAHAAAAAAAA (T-T)

FROST TRYING TO STOP IT AND HE'S CRYING, THE MAN WHO NEVER SHOWS EMOTION IS CRYING

BEATING TORBEK WITH KREMY’S DEAD BODY, WHY NIKKIE WHY???

KREMY FUCKIN DIED, IM SO SAD

TORBEK IS TRYING TO GET GOREBEK OUT TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY, HAHASASHFKSHFN (T-T)

WE’RE ALL SO FUCKED MAN, SO DAMN FUCKED

TORBEK IS DEAD, NOOOOOOO MY GIRLFAILURE BESTIE!!!!

“Torbek burbled in his pants” “I heard they do that” ANDY, GIDEON STOP TALKIN BOUT DEAD PEOPLE SHITTING THEMSELVES

DON’T YOU DARE KILL HOOTSIE NIKKIE, I SWEAR TO THE GODS

GRICKO GOT A NAT 20 BUT NIKKIE DREADED IT

HOOTSIE GOT A NAT 1 AND GOT FUCKIN KILLED, MY HEART NOOOOOO

WE’RE ALL SO DEAD

THE JABBERWOCK KILLED ALL OF US AND TOOK OUR COMMUNICATORS, WHAT A DICK

Nikkie is gonna rip Mace’s iPad in half haha /j

[knucklegagging]

I know this is mostly an anorexia tumblr account but tbh I havent been really struggling w my anorexia lately. Found old emaciated pictures and I think thats a lot of the reason why. Side by side my highest weight and lowest weight one looks weak and the other looks sexy. And Like... I wanna live. If i can. Especially now. And maybe a lot of this is that I was dealing shit no one is ever supposed to talk about but I have never been fat. I have been big busted hourglass booty girl slimthicc milkshake walking cunstain looking barbie body. And I have been emaciated. Thats so weird to really notice for the first time in my twenties. And it's not like I've been actively wanting to die or anything intense like that, but I didnt know life could feel good. And lately it really does. And my set range right now is 111 to 116. Which is healthy, as is my bfp. So i get that this is an anorexia tumblr account primarily... But maybe it doesnt always have to be? Idk tonight just feels really good. The girl I like seems to like me. And by that i mean shes made it clear she does in more ways than one. And frankly ive been a migraine and she still around. Its been a lot to adjust to. I have not been an easy person for her to be around. At least, i know I would be tired of my anxiety bullshit by now. She has so much patience and kindess and goodness in her soul. I feel like I have known her before, almost like memories from a dream that you woke up from too quickly. The taste of thoughts percolate my mouth with painful dripping sighs that crave to know her better, like filling in the blanks. Theres something so different, so unmistakable about the way that she is.

I dont know how to comfort myself at times because I cannot be running away in the opposite directiom but sticking my heels into blue on the treadmill next to her is terrifying. I get these scared moments thinking that I am going to ruin everything in one fell swoop w one stupid comment or being too hyper, talking too much, saying shit she wouldnt care about, moving too fast, not moving fast enough, not being whatever it is she expects of me. ...but yet she just roll w the punches. I dont want her to know how inexperienced i am w relationships. I dont want her to know anything bad thats happened to me and have it sour the interest that she has in me. I'm like paranoid that somehow she would find this blog and see my thoughts spelled out even though ik she won't. That wouldnt happen. But out of nowhere sometimes I just get scared like she will wake up one morning and decide I am not good enough. That I am too autistic or I have too much of a past behind me. That I have already been defiled and that makes me too much drama. I cant say that sentence out loud. I can't say many if any things out loud. I am always writing them down for her.

I am terrified about how to play my sleeves. At some point she will probably see my arms or thighs if we continue to spend time w each other. How the fuck is that all supposed to play out? Do i pretend its nothing and just rip the bandaid off? Wear a tank top when i see her next? That sounds dumb. There is no way to gradually unveil my body in ways that are not jarring when you have as many scars as I do. I like myself fine I just sometimes notice how much i do not know and that can psyche me out. But today has been good. Tonight has been happy. I am very much okay today. I just wish time would move faster slowly, so that i can know how we end up so that i can have a road map. I want thw answers for how to behave so that i dont cause any problems for her. If i could read her mind, if i could see the future, if i could know now what i will know then about whether i am going to make her life difficult... I am so scared. I am so happy. But I am also so scared.

Whats gonna happen when I am really visible and she can really see me? I've done so well at being invisible. With her I dont want to be. But it is all unknown and I'm a big ol scaredycat

[ar1mas]

i know, right?? like why would he do that? seriously, why? ok its rant time again

im aware that neither ed nor oswald are very physically strong or know how to wring a gun out of someones hand before they shoot you (even if penn is literally a stick figure be real would their physical weaknesses really have been that big a problem here), but ed didnt try anything before he shot penn. like he just played along. and we know why. not because he didnt wanna risk oswalds life. i mean, yes, but also. "the real reason."

"honestly you deserve this."

because oswald definitely did. the humiliation of being called out for his mistakes. having his life threatened by a former ally. oswald is a horrible person, we all know this, he deserves this. so why did ed change his mind after penn was no longer a threat?

i mean, i already kinda talked about it in the og rant, but i just gotta. ed was jealous, right?

"hello, mr. cobblepot."

eyeroll. guess im putting my gun away.

"this is mr. scarface."

"wonderful."

"oh this is great. im going back to work." these are the friends you choose to have? youre putting this guy on the same level as me?

"he made me tell him about your… treasure." he knows about the treasure. he knows about the treasure? our treasure?

"penn. i think you need a rest. and perhaps a psychiatrist." why does his well-being matter? why cant i just shoot him instead?

ok im done quoting the scene. for now. the point has been driven home. ed gets jealous. just a little bit jelly. but who cares, it doesnt matter, just pretend theres nothing going on. oswald deserves this.

he was willing to let this whole ordeal slide, because even if this is not worth eds time, and, honestly, its an insult to his senses having to deal with this just because he couldnt kill one of oswalds former allies before it got as far as it ended up getting, in a weird way, this is funny.

then oswald says the line. i wont quote it here again (mainly bc if i do i will cry and wont be able to type anymore). he says it, and its very clear who hes also saying it to.

oswald didnt directly apologise. that wouldve been too much character development for one episode, and frankly, too much development than wouldve been in-character. but he says something. 2 years of not acknowledging his faults, his part in destroying the friendship they had. but now he says it.

i know. i know i messed things up between us. i own up to the things i did to you. i regret it, every day i regret it.

thats huge. like, i cant put to words how crazy it is for oswald, the "spoiled child who throws a tantrum any time he doesnt get what he wants" to even hint on the fact that he mightve done something wrong. ed knows this. he knows oswald like the back of his hand, and he knows that oswald wouldnt do this for anyone. anyone, except edward.

and thats the moment when the situation changes for ed. thats the moment the decides it isnt funny anymore, oswald doesnt deserve this anymore. because if oswald finally apologises for what he did to him, edward is gonna forgive him. edward is gonna start over with him. edward is gonna say, "i heard you. i forgive you. lets put all the things we did to each other behind us, once and for all." edward gets to be jealous now.

ed would only shoot penn after he wasnt about to kill oswald if penn was still a nuisance, if ed was still jealous, if ed believed oswald was his and was gonna act on it.

and the funny ('funny'. definition of the word in this context: crying screaming kicking feet grinding teeth my poor heart cant take it) thing is, oswald sees this, too.

edward kills penn, then says something about being friends, and- ok. you can actually pinpoint the second his heart rips in half. with realisation. with love.

"i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am."

"thats why this friendship is great."

he knows. look at him. actually dont, hes a mess. but IM looking and im on the floor crying, and dont help me up, this is what i chose to do with my life. im in therapy i promise.

he knows. hes glad. and he says,

"perhaps, edward, we really are meant for each other."

they laugh afterwards, but we all know how true those words are. hes saying, "i know. i understand what youre telling me. you wanna move on. i do too."

and… omg dont look at me im crying so hard. wheres the keybosrd. i donz- i dobt knoe,., i csnt sre-

ahem. excuse me. the point. oswald knows and lets ed know. so ed knows that os knows that ed knows what os was saying. ok ok no wait. the actual point. inhale, ed was jealous af of penn fsr, the reason being he doesnt want oswald to have another man in his life, because hes in love with him, but hed only let himself be in love with him (again) if oswald admitted his faults, which is then the reason why ed kills penn after hes no longer a threat, because he wanted to this whole time but didnt for oswalds sentimentalitys sake, because he loves him, but after what oswald said, he lets himself be in love with oswald selfishly, aka the jealous way. exhale.

oh my god, hes such a hypocrite. "love is about sacrifice" my ass. look at you! what are you doing?! youre a hypocrite, ed, and im gonna LET you be, because idc i just want you two together. ..but youre a hypocrite.

thats all. i promise im done. i didnt expect anyone to see this, but here we are. thank you so much. im gonna cry in the corner of my room now. have a lovely day yall.

tl;dr ed is sooo gay for os its making him act PATHETIC. ok serious. ed killed penn because hes a jealous bastard. i lied about the serious.

- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

[renatapatata]

!spoilers for stranger things s4!

... ok im genuinely surprised that so many people are sort of giving up on will and mike getting together when ive never been this confident about a ship??? ever???

if im wrong ill take the L but Cmon Now :

• the show recap purposefully shows the mike and will scenes, putting an emphasis on their dynamic instead of the mike and el scenes

• last season el and mike were going thru it but in the end, el tells him that she loves him and he stood there sort of slack jawed and stunned and couldnt say the words back even then within that scene

• which brings us to the beginning of s4 where mike still cant say ily to el even through the letters and correspondances hes had with her, either a) cuz hes going thru some insecurity about his feelings and the show is building up to a big romantic gesture or b) because hes internally struggling and a part of him knows if he said 'ily' back to el in a romantic context, it wouldnt be true

• meanwhile will is very blatantly pining what with The very pointed slow romantic tune that plays whenever he gazes at mike for a bit too long, and he evidently has a painting for mike and im guessing its contents will be revealed in volume 2 next month

• as for the way mike is treating will, giving him a bit of the cold shoulder at first, the awkwardness and avoiding his gaze, it could be because he feels guilty and weird about how he left things tense between him and his bestie, but then again mikes attitude feels like hes going thru it with el and it could b because he has some underlying feelings for will that he hasnt realized yet and is unknowingly taking out these frustrations on will (rip)

• and i did appreciate how mike apologized to will and that heartfelt talk they had as will was packing his stuff - again, the talks and discussions they had were continuously will trying to console mike despite his shit attitude towards him, so mike finally saying that 'he doesnt deserve to be treated that way' and the Pure hopeful expression on wills face and mikes big smile when they established each other as being each others besties again,.,.,. what was the reason What was the reason

• also this has nothing to do with anything but the background posters in wills room of Jaws 1975 and the og little shop of horrors musical (the lyricist to that musical being howard ashman, a gay man) ... gay!! Gay (source for this being im a mega stan of these two things and i am gay thank you vry much)

• back to the topic at hand tho, i feel like theres some sort of specific costuming choices what with the characters outfit colour schemes and id do a deeper analysis if i knew what i was talking about

• like smthing smthing about how mike brings el yellow and blue flowers and shes dissapointed with how he still signed the bouquet by writing 'from, mike' not 'love, mike', and from what google says about flowers blue can be interpreted as representing peace or a balm to anxiousness, i read somewhere that it also represented desire and romance tho, but for yellow its apparently 'the ideal color for symbolizing friendship'

• then again will has been wearing yellow and blue plad shirts and mike has been wearing an equally chaotic mix of yellow and blue in his outfits and those are just two contrasting colours that compliment each other well, indicating that the writers just purposefully wanted their outfits to be coordinated wink wink

• and to just really get into it theres this General disconnect between el and mike and how they just arent on the same wavelenght anymore, el's message that she leaves behind for mike also being signed with a 'from, el' not 'love, el', seeming to indicate that unless mike apologizes and professes his love to her in volume 2, their romance is kinda officially fizzling out

• honestly ive always rooted for mike and el pre realizing that will and mike was a possibility in the shows plot, and what with el going THRU IT in the following episodes of season 4, i feel like her and mike latched onto each other super hard at the start of the show and whats coming to light now is that their bond is just as valid if it remains platonic

• so we dont see the california gang as much as up until episode 7 it focuses on the vecna plot, and with the last 2 episodes of the season releasing in july being longer and the usual recipe for a stranger things finale being everyone meets up near the end, im guessing will, mike and el are gonna make their way back to hawkins somehow and join the others in the upside down, either intentionally or by force

• by that i mean that theres this specific payoff that has to come with the reveal of what will was painting in episode 1, and el herself says its for a crush, and we know that crush is mike, and so will is still dragging this painting around with him in his backpack for it to be revealed at a surely emotionally charged moment for him

• think of it this way: theres surely gonna be more mike and will screentime in volume 2 now that weve gone thru all of that setup, and whats the point of heavily implying will is crushing on mike all for mike to just be like 'oh haha thx bestie im an ally and all so hashtag gay rights good for you but i love el sorryyy 🤪'

• like Why parallel how mike and el cant seem to work as a couple anymore and mike just seems desperately trying to salvage their relationship and say what she wants to hear, all while having this constant pensive and frustrated look on his face vs how mike was being super dodgey and sketchy with will to giving him these super soft looks and almost being in tears when they had that conversation and reconciled as besties for like 10 seconds?

• it seems cruel to string ur (queer) audience along with the possibility of byler being real only for mike to admit how much he loves el romantically and will to end up heartbroken... like wow... such compelling storywritting (sike) and theyd get Major shit for it Instead of the potential praise if they were to just go thru with endgame byler

• and heres my final crackhead theory but since vecna feeds on peoples guilt and its the dissapearance of will and his connection to the upside down that opened a gate and the upside down being stuck in time on the day he did dissapear,.,., what if the closer he gets to hawkins and the gates he becomes its next target? will could have potential guilt relating to keeping his sexuality/crush hush hush, and being in the closet in the 80s is just surely a shit enough time so i can just imagine the possibility of him being vecnas next or final victim to pick on, and it would be the perfect wake up call for mike to panic at the chance of losing will Yet Again

• or idk im getting a cw supernatural vibe that will is gonna confess to mike, then get yeeted into super hell I Mean the upside down, but lets hope that this time mike pulls his head out of his ass and realizes that the reason things with el feel off is because hes been repressing his feelings for will because hes an oblivious and emotionally stunted dork!!!

anyway thank you for coming to my TED talk my inbox is always open if you also want to scream about all things strange

[lillytalons]

AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok I was busy cooking and i couldn't stop to type out thoughts while dealing with raw chicken so there's gonna be a slightly out of order thought dump on what I think is the climax, but theres about 2 hours left so, I'm probably wrong. Whatever, they got the tower back!

Ok first of all, NAVANI, QUEEN! I'm beyond pumped that she bonded the sibling, who better? The way she already understood so much about the tower and the sibling was actually excited about her understanding so much, i hope they get to be nerdy little inventors together. Her just taking charge and cleansing the tower was amazing.

I freaking hate Moash except that I don't and his story is really tragic. Like he is making bad decisions but his ability to feel has been ripped away which doesn't help. Though the crap about not really regreting teft's death is stupid. I think it's really interesting that he's blind and i'm curious if we'll have a permanently disabled character at this point. Like I love people regrowing limbs cause it's cool but also, not everyone has stormlight you know? disability isn't always inherently something to fix.

Stormfather and Dalinar are making strides and I love that for them, Dalinar does need to learn to work within his bounds and not wreck the stormfather again though. Whatever that crazy herald is doing was spooky and interesting and i want to know more. Plus, leveled up bondsmith powers? Yes. I understand all the half spoilers of Tien maybe being alive though, cause what the freak was that??? Dude what? Maybe he fell into shademar or something? Idk but nothing is a mistake in these and that was a pretty big deal so it better get addressed.

OH and ODIUM. Ok dalinar seemed to do the best he could with the deal so props for that, it's concerning that it's so soon, so either that's happening this book, or, next book is gonna start out sprinting.

Odium is so full of himself though and it's hilarious, like he's super deadly but also, i want to laugh in his face for how much attention he wants. And he's so sure theres gonna be a war, I'm not convinced. So far, all the shards are just doing their own thing. (except ruin but he's fine now)

Rlain, he's spoken for!!! Yes you deserve it, love! I can't believe Renarin sent a spren to him, adorable, but also, can they have a conversation? Is that all we're getting? Oh and him taking charge? YES. Bridge 4!

OKKKK KALADIN

It took him a while to get to the 4th ideal, and I get why it took so long, but HE DID IT. And him and syl worked together!!! 💛💛💛 And he saved his dad!! and even his brands are healing because he's finally accepting that he's doing his best! (it's actually accurate to draw him without his brands but i only see some-generally modern au- and i feel like it's out of respect for no spoilers and also the top tier character design but we do need some kaladins without brands i guess) Also, I get how teft summoned his blade a little, i thought it was determination but it was him coming to the 4th ideal without time to speak it, or pretty close.

His shard plate just zipping around is sick, and it being made of wind spren is so interesting! Like what is Jasnah's made out of? Wind and honor are close but i can't see Ink being chill with wind spren. I know Jasnah is cool and I appreciate her fighting, but she's not made for sword and plate like Kaladin is, he just bleeds cool, and epic, and AHHHHHHH

Is that everything?

Oh and Lirin finally accepting his son (before being saved from the fall) was great, I support supportive families.

And the triage that bridge 4 automatically goes into is great, Kal trained them well, no wonder they're generally honor radiants. Though Rlain being a truthwatcher, with a protective spren, is also great and that means he'll be able to heal! even better.

ok I'm done, until I start listening again.

Part 5!

‘He’d be haunting me of course’ 😆

Hesina is throwing down and she’s so right! Also again, if Kaladin was disavowing his parents, he wouldn’t have been spending time with them and care about what they thought. He was just trying to communicate how much war changed him.

Hesinas interlude is the best one hands down. Kaladin is helping people even when he can’t be right there 🥺

[hoshi-y]

Always Forever

Genre : Fluff

Characters : Yugi Amane, Yugi Tsukasa

TW : none

A/N : Happy burthday to my most favorite twin boys in the world, Man to think I'd finally be able to like celebrate their birthday, cause I still remember back then before they released their birthday I would always debunk when it was HAHA

Again, Happy Birthday to these two, they have helped me alot during my worst love them 💗

I hope you enjoy 💗

You and Me [��]

Today was the day

It was the twins birthday!

they had this HUUGGEE Birthday bash at a fancy restaurant

Not too fancy tho, like the outdoor fancy restaurants one

While celebrating, you took Tsukasa aside to have him open up your seperate gift for him

You got one for his twin too dont worry, dont come at me

He has ALWAYS wanted this controller set he saw off of Insta

He said that it was limited edition, thats why its expensive

You took a painfully large amount out of your savings and allowance to get him this

and for the first time, he doesn't have his excited and hyper expression

he had a more, shocked look

He knew how expensive these were

and he actually felt bad

"Surprise! I know how much you wanted these.. So I saved up and got it for you! Do you like it?" You were really excited to see his reaction

but nothing came out of his mouth

Oh no.. Did he not like your gift? But he would always talk about it to you..

"Tsu.. Are you alright? Do you.. not like the gift?" He finally snapped back to reality and held the box close to him "[F/N].. these are really expensive and I feel bad having you buy these for me.. And like? I LOVE it.. Thank you so much.." He brought you into a big and warm hug

After the celebration, the parents still wanted to have coffee with everyone so they went back to their house

But you and Tsukasa? You two were having fun in his room playing video games with the controllers you got him for his birthday..

Always Forever [★]

You were invited to the Twins birthday to this amazing beach resort!

I mean you needed to go it was your boyfriend and his brothers birthday

and when theres a pool in the picture man you just HAD to go

You prayed to heaven that Amane would like the gift you bought for him

buy according to him he'd take anything you give him

but that didn't stop you

do you wanna know what you got him?

no way, jk you're the reader you need to know

You got him this Moon Lamp, it was a bit pricey but you bought it anyways

You also got him these bluetooth headphones he had been eyeing for awhile now!

RIP wallet

You got him two seperate gifts, one with the genuine one and one where he had to open infront of everyone

you wanted to see his reaction up close

So with the seperate one you got him plushie

I know a little boring but hey in your defense it was also a little pricey

Again RIP money

So when that was over, while everyone was busy doing their own thing

you pulled Amane away from the crowd and gave your actual gift to him ❤️

You looked around, none of his and your parents are around

"Hey, what did you wanna talk about love? that needed to be this large of a distance with everyone? Ohh~ you wanted a some alone time with the birthday boy huh?~" He leaned closer but your excitement made you a little bold

"That yes, I did wanted some alone time with you" Ah, a standing cherry

You giggled "Amanee~ I want to give you something" He raised his eyebrow "Another surprise? Is it another plushie so it can have a partner? If so I'm naming it [F/N]"

"No you dork—" You went and grab his gift to him behind a rock and walked back to him "Happy Birthday Amane, open it up" You carefully handed him his gift and he was shocked

Amane slowly unwrapped his gift and it almost made him tear up

And you had all of that on camera lmao

"Love.. how'd you know?" He took out the box of the Moon Lamp in it

"Well.. I always see you so late at night sitting at your window looking at the moon.. So.. here you go, So you don't have to sit out in the cold you dummy you might get a cold" You flicked his forehead and he laughed

"You also got me those headphones that I wanted.. Love how much money did you spend on these?.."

"Not telling you"

He chuckled and set the two items back into the box and gave you a big hug

"I love it.. So much, Thank you [F/N] I'll make sure to take good care of it" You looked back at him, he had little tears on his eyes

"Oh.. Amane.."

"I'm sorry I'm just really happy with what you got me, It surprised me" He chuckled

"Sooooooo can I have that plushie back?"

"Not a chance it smells like you I'm keeping it"

"Eehhh??" He laughed

so precious 😞😞 happy birthday my loves

[ynahzone]

for today i offer you me talking about xchara's character development but it sounds kinda half assed / out dated because this was from weeks and weeks ago

im a big nerd so it's not surprising im talking about it, anyways

(warning really long post)

in the start XChara was depicted as a bright and happy kid along with XFrisk, with him getting upset over XGaster saying he's gonna end it all maybe it's safe to say he was happy being with XGaster and his works despite XGaster being underwhelmed with himself and his creations. And then Ink came right? Yeah it was all fun and games until XGaster decided to kill off Asriel

on the first overwrite XChara did nothing to stop it and just stood there.

on the second timeline he started growing upset and kept reminiscing about his past with Asriel, until Asgore became the big guy here and cheered him up. So like he got into a sad state but got cheered up in hopes for a better future, until XGaster deemed this timeline was too boring so he killed both the supports of XChara and XFrisk (Asgore and Sans (rip babygirl)) and that got XChara ANGRY

for once XChara stood up and tried to defend what's left in the timeline, but after XGaster's stiff "just let me work" he let go and just stood there bracing for impact again.

There was a part on timeline III where XChara called out XGaster for being insecure, so uhh his hate for him was like, starting to arise up now.

In Timeline IV it was shown the XChara locked himself in his room waiting for everything to end in the timeline, so yeah so he hits rock bottom in this timeline and his v v upset n all, and all that changed when XGaster took XFrisk to make him do genocide n stuff and XChara was like oohhh shit ohhh ooohhhhh and then like XALPHYS GIVES XMUFFET A CODIGO SAYING WHATS GOING AWN and then he stops XFrisk from stabbing XChara and told him thaf "he never cared about you" anx "you should stand up for yourself, stop him now" smn smn smn so XChara took that and rebelled against XGaster and punched him in the balls then resets the timeline

WHICH XGASTER FOUND RUDE so he sent off the twins to a timeline wherein no one knows them and XChara and XFrisk HATED everyone so they like planned to kill XGaster (i think) and then targetted XAlphys to like tell them where XGaster is and XUndyne butts in and beats the livinf shit out of them so like yeah yeah XChara hes so pissed rn so they took a moment to just unwind

then like XUndyne goes and offered the twins trainings, basically XUndyne gave them hope that they'd be a able to beat the shit out pf XGaster to which XChara took because he BELIEVED theres still hope, atp XFrisk already gave up

so like yada yada yada yeahh XChara went ti trainings and then they ambush XGaster n all n stuff and XUndyne fucking dies and XChara gets his half soul fragment stolen now he's sharing a soul with XGaster (which mind you, at this point the person he hates the most)

now, in XChara's timeline he's like,,, he killed XFrisk multiple times as commanded by XGaster (i THINK)

since they share a soul now XChara changed drastically, he probably judt submitted to XGaster n all (orrr that thing warped his perception of everythknf or smn like that)

then XChara says he wants XFrisk back, SOMETHING TO NOTE HERE is that throughout the whole series XChara still cares for his brother, XFrisk, even if it seems off putting, no matter what. and thats what i find endearing

so like yeah XGaster just said FUCK IT then revives XFrisk and prolly merge their souls so now XChara is this ghost that gpes around w XFrisk

take note XGaster said "2 masterminds in 1 body" or something similar,this is probably unimportant but this part was the whole theme for the X-Event (will be talking abt X-Event in another message)

In the next timelines, XChara can be described as someone with the brains, an ASSHOLE, a PIECE OF SHIT and someone who lacks boldness when going without a plan, a sadist and yada yada yada

now heres what makes me relate to him, through timeline IX (or Papyrus, i forgot my roman numerals) instead of reacting as happy and cheerful to a new crowd he now reacts to it with disgust

much like how XGaster would, in Papyrus' timeline he started acting much like XGaster would, in short he's becoming the person he hated the most.

now

TIMELINE X

AUUGHHH MY FAVORITE AAUUUGGHHHHHHH

in this episode it like shows how devoted and determined he is into ending it all

despite him growing like XGaster he still sticks to his original goals, props to him

so like YEAH but at this point it looks like his care for XFrisk is deteriorating, it's like all he cares about now is his goals and not his brother (but his goal is literally to end XGaster to stop the suffering so....,, slay ig?)

he started forgetting why he even stuck around with him brother, he didn't care what it takes he didn't care what will happen to XFrisk when he makes him do all these crazy shit all he cared about was his plan

he always strived for a better future, so much he forgot about everyone else

he basically turned into a manipulative piece of shit 😍

so like yada yada yada stuff he tells XFrisk to make Cross (aka my husband <3) kill him

the difference between XFrisk and XChara on this timeline is that XFrisk still cares, XChara lacked empathy at this point

oh yeaj did i mentioned XChara also threatened Cross to KILL XFrisk because that's how determined he is

and when he found advantage knowing XGaster's half soul wasn't with him and it'd be easy to kill him off and take the soul he took it and used it

his second plan to kill XGaster was to give everyone back their memories of the previous timelines so they're mad n all

but since Cross refused to cooperate on his first plan he decided to tell XFrisk to tell everyone to just kill him off or leave him alone

now this, this is the part where they thought they reached victory but nope, Cross comes in and kills everyone then takes XFrisk's soul and then BOOM the world is deleted and his whole plan goes in shambles

he was quick to planning, he tried to kill Cross to be free from his body and go back to his originsl host (XFrisk) so they could still overwrite but noooo Cross kills XFrisk too 💀

so like there

hes stranded, so he chose to try and manipulate Cross (he was successful)

so basically he poured his soul, life, time and XCharussy into putting XGaster down which just failed in the end :(

the thing to alwaye remember about XChara is that no matter whay happens that hoe never backs down #SlayXChara

from his happy and cheerful picture he slowly turns into this sadistic piece of shit wjo seems bad but really just have a good intention and just wants everything back to the way it was without the overwrites

i feel bad for him:(

thinking abt this makes me kin him even more, like im not an asshole but .. some days i catch myself lacking

AND AND most of this is a copy paste btw like, a REALLY long copy paste, im talking 4 discord messages worth of copy pastes— plus i was typing all thiz in a friends server and got this message, i got alot of this but im too lazy to ss all of them messages

much love to mim mwuah shes so great