#theres no one else to find theres fuck all else to do you just dont get it
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#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
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I need to complain
#so my current job is with 3 people that I know from previous jobs#our staff is 6 people#I love my mg as a person but she is so. oh my god.#the company is pretty removed from the stores (within reason) but p much as long as our numbers look good they don’t hover. our dm comes#v rarely and only checks in w mg once a wk-ish. so my mg takes full advantage of this. we r a relatively slow store dgmw but she straight up#ignores shit that needs. to be done? like shipment will just sit there for DAYS and she will do the bare minimum and sit on her phone allday#and go in the back for 15 mins for no reason and then come out on the floor and steal sales and then leave work early and do nothing to help#anyone else make their numbers and then she always has to brag abt things in our district group chat that she like#barely fucking contributes to and like literally EVERYTHING in the store gets done by my AM and I. I am not any type of mg in this store and#I accepted this job fully ok w that. I wanted a break from management. and yet I am constantly stepping up to do shit bc our mg doesn’t#and it’s basic operational shit that we’ve LITERALLY DONE. AT OUR LAST JOB. WE ALL DID THE SAME. FUCKING THINGS AT OUR LAST JOB#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT JNOW HOW TO DO A FUCKING CHANGE ORDER. HOW DO WE NEVER HAVE CHANGE AND IM ALWAYS THE ONE TAKING CASH TO THE BANK#WHYYYYYYYY AM I PLANNING BLACK FRIDAY AND DOING EVERYTHING W MY AM TO PREPARE WHILE SHE LITERALLY GOES “’there isn’t that much to do?’ldhdga#WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. THERES LIKE 20 BOXES OF UNTOUCHED SHIPMENT FOR NO FUCKING REASON EVERYTBI GS A MESS WE NEED TO DO SK MUCH#HOW ARE YOU SITTING THERE. WATCHING REELS!!!!!!! AND THEN STOPPING US WHILE WE’RE GETTING THINGS DONE TO SHOW US MEMES#IM GOING TO HnbHsndvdhwjf#my poor am is in the final weeks of her semester trying to do hw and shit on top of cleaning up the mess our mg leaves and hovering over her#to make sure things get done and it’s just like#You should not Have To Be DOING THAT#I’m just so blown. like she lies so much and just does whatever the fuck she wants w no consideration and then we have to reality check her#and she’s like oh you’re right I’m sorry#and then it changes for a fucking day and goes right back. I’m just.#And then she has the audacity to say ‘ I stepped back to see if you(am) would step up to do things’#LMFAO GIRLLKJKLLGBFBS FUCK YOU THATS SUCH A KINE OF BULLSHIT YOURE SO LAZY PLS FIND A HUSBAND AND BE A HOUSEWIFE FASTER#STOP TERRORIZING WORKPLACES PLSSSSSS PLS PS Sslslsldbxvsj#fr talking to her is talking to the wall.#like I would prefer to just look at the floor and say things than say it to her bc she does not listen#but like sitting w her and bullshitting when downtime she’s chill and funny like I love her. just she sucks at working.
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*
#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me#so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc#and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate#online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead#anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON#yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid#anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need#the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on)#A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly#need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and#convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses#A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me#credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then#If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it#so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else#and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to#the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes#im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to#actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend#of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!#lord i could go on but i shant#point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward#but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that#Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!!#i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that#good morning yall xD#le text post
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It really is that thing where if you don't have some kind of persistent chronic health issue which you almost never get actual useful help for but you still constantly have to see doctors about that you will never really comprehend how tiring and frustrating it is. Like you can be the most sympathetic person in the world but if you don't live it you will never really understand it.
#like i was complaining to my mum and i know she means well and everything#and shes sympathetic but she just doesnt get it#'well go to a different doctor' i have. i have been to 10 different doctors. none of then have helped me.#'we will find a specialist' there are no specialists in our entire region#i know this bc i have looked for then#i have to go over an hour away and spend fuck knows how much to see one#the one i did see was no help to me at all#he did however prescribe me 12x the normal dose of a medication i ended up not supposed to be on#thats what my history looks like#so dont give me the 'find someone else do something else try something else'#bc the people in charge who hold all the power will not let me#theres no one else to find theres fuck all else to do you just dont get it
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Im still thinking about that shit my boss said like legit how dare she
I was on my hands and kneese that day scrubbing her crusty ass shelves for her yucky ass bisuness, I followed her and my managers instructions to the fucking letter and took the heat whenever the instructions conflicted with eachother
Its legit not even just a me thing, since I started working there less than a year ago shes had to replace her entire wait staff and half of her kitchen staff.
She legit hired new guys for the pizza station instead of just finishing my training. She knows Im a fast learner but she insists she cant trust me for some fucking reason. Like is she fucking stupid?
After she intruded in my personal life, asked invasive questions, and tried to mother me.
Not to mention she hasnt even been sending me pay stubs since fucking august so I cant even confirm shes been paying me the right wages. Minimum wage in my area got bumped up by a dollar in september.
#fuck that girl honestly#As soon as I get hired somewhere else im leaving and never looking back#My sister said she would have quit on the spot if that was her#but I still need the money since theres a bag I want coming up for preorder soon#and I want to buy a new set of feeders for my cat since I always worry about her going hungry when im at work#Plus my mom always dumps wet food on top of her dry food outside of her usual meal times#and since shes never usually all that hungry she just kind of picks through it and licks up the gravy#then the rest just sits there until it dries into one solid layer that blocks off all teh dry food and makes it legit inedible#I keep telling my mom to stop fucking doing that but she just yells at me some fucking excuse and keeps doing it#its not like I havent explained exactly what happens to her before#shes just stubborn and refuses to A: admit she was wrong or B: take the two seconds it takes to just get another bowl instead#So ill get my cat a dry tower feeder and leave her bowl for wet food exclusively#I wouldnt do it if she didnt self-regulste her eating but I know she does#And I still need to find her a toy that has long hair like her mouseys#but is just the right size#If its too small she'll loose it under my bed like she does with every single mouse I give her#If its too big she wont want to carry it around or throw it or play fetch with it#She had this really soft rabbit that she loved to death but she tore it apart. there was only so many times I could sow its limbs back on.#If anyone makes it this far into the tags do you have any suggestions?#I dont want to get her another of the rabbit toys because it was actually one of those cleap plush key-chains and honestly I dont trust them#she just loved it too much for me to take it away
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now some people may not like to hear it but even the worst people who exist are still people & there is no human being who has More right than others to decide whether others deserve to live or die (does not mean i personally condemn murder in self defense or anything of the sort or killing fascists or whatever i'm just saying as a baseline This Is How it Is) & this is why the death penalty is not a good thing no matter how good & trustworthy the people in any government might be. people on average also deserve the chance to learn to do better. & no, someone who's been forcefed propaganda their entire life will not let go of that deeply entrenched mindset so easily, it's not particularly unrealistic & it absolutely sucks to deal with but in the context of tangibly working toward world peace it's also not an issue to try & help such people both in material ways & in helping them learn better rather than cut them down or abandon them to a grim fate. all this to say that's why i don't think garlemald is written badly, as unpleasant as the experience might be. walks off the stage
#ffposting#also if you hate garlemald's writing THIS much but like emet-selch i think theres a disconnect there i just dont understand.#like he made it that way. you do understand this is all because of him right. maybe you should be more upset about that.#garlemald is very uncomfortable & the real life parallels it draws make it a very very touchy Thing to deal with#but i do not think it is handled badly.#their supremacy is entirely gone by the time of edw the people there have known nothing but propaganda#the populares are known to be a minority. people like cid or jenomis aren't that common. this is why they get along#the propaganda is such that even occupied domans like asahi fell for it & feel absolutely nothing for their kin#thats what propaganda does. there is absolutely a degree of responsibility regarding what they do & i would never say otherwise#however the idea that we should let them die & not get a chance to rebuild after theyve lost everything (again) is like. huh.#when you want to work toward world peace in a meaningful way you cant just abandon anyone like that.#like thats a whole people. they suck! but it is not immutable & they deserve the opportunity to do better like any other#id much rather they face retribution for their actions in meaningful ways including working toward reparations#wrt all the peoples the empire occupied than to round them up to kill them or worse let them die to the telophoroi#OR to becoming blasphemies. that would make things so extremely worse.#i just dont understand how you can have sympathy for jullus when he was just like everyone else at first#but you want to leave the rest of them to die. & i dont get how you can like emet & want them to die.#like he fucking did this its a pretty notable very fucking bad thing that he did. no doubt varis has made it worse#but varis was in power for like 2 years at best.#that emet was playing a role & did not actually believe in or care about what he was doing does not erase that he did it#& i personally find it hypocritical to like him if you balk at the idea of garlemald restoration. clears throat#i believe in killing fascists but i also dont believe in punitive justice#& by the time of edw garlean civilians do not hold the systemic power they once mightve#which i think is also important. their entire country is in shambles.#if anything its the ideal opportunity for them all to start anew & learn better. shed their preconceptions as one might say#that said i still skip garlemald cutscenes bc i dont need cunts calling me a savage ✋-_-#do not take any of this for garlean apologia i fucking hate dealing with them on an individual level as a xaela player lmfao#but yeah. if you can feel pity for livia who is a military general WHO HAS ACTIVELY KILLED YOUR FRIENDS#but not for the civilians whove never been exposed to anything other than propaganda. idk man. 30 tags. fly free my post
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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Uh oh
#rat rambles#accidentally clicked on one of the journal logs in oni while I was looking for smth else and Im in the rabbit hole now#cause like why is this so me bait I knew this game had semi silly lore but I did not know it would actually tickle my brain like this#I already liked the concept of the duplacants on a basic level its just the sorta stuff I find fun but oghhhh#they arent just molds their molds based on once real ppl oh that is so fucked up I love it#Im not gonna go read through everything cause quite frankly I dont particularly care abt the worldbuilding I just like the scientists#for the record the first one I accidentally clicked on was the bubbles one and I audibly gasped when I realized its her#dude a large cast of characters who are in a fucked up situation involving being experimented on without realizing and cloning shit?#thats my favorite shit like thank god theres not actually that many journals cause otherwise it would be so jover#these dead scientists would become my orbo blorbos fr fr#like let me be clear the only thing standing between me and becoming the only person who has oni blorbos is that theres not more logs#if there were? you all would hate me#like I honestly could work with just this but will I?#....well knowing me I can deny the possibility but yknow I dont plan to#if the world interested me more then maybe but it doesnt so Im not quite itching to go ham on making shit up for 40 characters#alas in a situation like this where theyre all garaunteed doomed the worldbuilding rly matters to me and as such its not calling to ke#but I do love the concept behind the scientists sooooo fun thats my favorite shit right there
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gonna be very annoyed if ppl insist on tryna turn all 5 of my dude characters into women when the majority of other characters in my comic already identify as women
#seriously you have so much to choose from... leave my self insert alone thats for sure ill eat you#im laying it out rn in a table. MOST of the dude ocs i have are villains.#MOST of the dude characters are minor characters#YOU WILL HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS WHAT MORE MUST YOU TAKe#as far as the most story relevant ocs SO FAR that i have- 10 of them are dudes and 14 of them are grrls#and also not including the nb characters but im keeping them outta this#and even amongst those 10 plenty of those ocs aren't really relevant either @-@;;#wamen play a stupidly huge role in my comic so i dont wanna hear it from no one i want no excuses#go imprint on one of the many grrl ocs that i have n leave me alone >:|#or make ur own fuckin character instead n fuck off somewhere else#...ig its kinda unfair tho bc ive specifically been holding back on posting a lot of my characters specifically for the purpose of#surprising ppl w someone new but. yknow. still.#all im saying is i have so many different options for u to pick from that i dont wanna see anyone trying to make excuses to change#my self inserts gender bc it will specifically be invalidating obviously.#yer gonna hafta just trust me on this one dawg.#i always find women more fun to draw anyways. sure i gotta get my self insert in there and some other dudes bc i like them#or for plot reasons. but women are more fun to draw to me partially *because* theres such an under representation of them#i feel like theres a lot of untapped potential and i wanna tap into it. i wanna show you all the different wamen characters ive made#they're all so unique and cool and i wISH I COULD POST THEm but i dont want to spoil surprises :/#the most i can do rn is post what are essentially background characters u-u
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i cant see posts cos my app is borked but i can still MAKE posts so you all can still see me complain!
it is so fucking impossible to search for fucking anything at all on the goddamn internet and if you want any amount of specificity at all you are well and truly fucked
#toy txt post#me: ceramic gooseneck kettle#borosilicate glass gooseneck kettle. does this exist? even one? etsy: google: wayfair: amazon: one billion listicles with amszon affiliate#links: here are metal kettles? cast iron kettles? thats what you want? best gooseneck kettles of 2024#i dont want that. theyre all gonna be fucking metal bc thats easy to make that shape ig and ppl dont Taste it except for me ig#and its like low cost and not fragile compared to other materials? theres glass kettles that i should probably just go for but i thought id#check if there was even a possibility of a really nice controlled pour with a material i cant taste. but whatever. ive even capitulated to#having to do it on a stove at this point somewhat just fuck i want one that boils the water and pours it nicely that doesnt have fucking#metal touching the water at any point bc i can Fucking Taste It and it tastes bad#and it also doesnt even taste metallic which is cool. love that. just tastes like maximum grody. no one else can taste it. i feel insane#the water vessels were so clean and yet still tasted so fucking bad i was wondering if i even still like coffee. i did and do. i just dont#fucking like water thats interacted with metal i guess#anyway this is just me complaining about how impossible it is to fucking gind anything#find* also im Exploring Black Coffee. im in my coffee era. im trying to taste and unlock and understand and explore the Complex Flavors#i bought a chemex. its fun to watch it brew...imagine if i could control the water flow better. rn im pouring#from a pyrex bowl out of the microwave and its impossible to control the pour. it pours so bad. im going insane
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oh no
its coming
taking me over
...
Christmas
#around halfway through the year i get bitten by the fucking holiday bug#like. i suck so bad at all the commitment and the decision making and the asking to go to stores and the buying#but the vibes... oh‚ the vibes are immaculate#and when its nearly summertime...you dont have yo worry about any of those things..!! u can just relish in the Vibes#i say that like i worry at all. im in mid december like yippee!!! theres snow on the ground!!!! and all the houses have lights up!!!!!!!!#im walking outside like lalalalala the world is so beautiful!! and then my mom asks if i want to go shopping and i collapse like a particle#i just love literally everything about christmas#except the um. part where i have to do things#i wish i could do things without doing them you know?#like give people gifts without having to decide what theyd like best and then find it and buy it#ooooooooooo i wanna wear warm sweaters and drink hot coco in front of a fireplace with candles and decorations all around sooooooooooo bad#candy canes and marshmallows and red and green jellybeans#one time it snowed like. eight feet where i lived. that was so much fun. apparently it sucked for everyone else but i had a GREAT time#i wish itd happen again we made like a snow tunnel base in our backyard it was sooo cool#this is so stupid. literally a month and a half ago i was lamenting how the snow hadnt melted yet and i was so sick of it#THERE IS LITERALLY STILL SNOW OUTSIDE ACTUALLY#very little#BUT ITS STILL THERE#AND IM HERE#LONGING FOR HOLLY JOLLIES#hey wait#hey wait a minute#whats stopping me from just doing it all anyway#??? i can eat candy canes and jellybeans any time of the year#i can make food and make toys and give them to my friends literally any time i want#why dont i.#i mean.#its. past my bedtime rn.#so like i cant do it NOW#but.
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learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆
indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”
since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.
we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.
remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.
how to be indifferent:
be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d
accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self
trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”
know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?
hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d
stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere
“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng
“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd
before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*
after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*
so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation
your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#loa blog#manifesting#law of assumption#loassumption#edward art#neville goddard#imagination creates reality#loastates#affirm and persist
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I want to thank you for making your list of recommended long batfam fics. I have been making my way through it and I am really enjoying them! ESPECIALLY cards on the table (I also love Dark Matter but I had already read it). Please let us know if you ever get more long batfam fic recs 🥺
okay so ive been waiting to answer this until i had gathered a good chunk of new long fics and ive been getting a lot of similar messages asking for recommendations, so here is another list of my fav long batman fics!
Jason and the Three Terrors by @cdelphiki, 220k, ongoing, T. if i can get you to read one thing, let it be this. ohhh my god where to even begin, this is a fic where jason stays with the league after his dip in the lazarus pit for a little while and winds up being charged with getting damian, his cousin, and his sister out of the league safely. this fic is just so fucking good, cdelphiki always writes such seamless relationship growth and watching jason go from "im dropping these brats off first chance i get" to "im a single mother of three and i need to provide for my kids" is phenomenal. 1000/10, the writing, the kids, the relationships, please do yourself a favor and read this.
A Collision of Masks by Movaz, 169k, completed, T. !! guys. this is such a good dick grayson-centric fic. this is set in an AU where batman never joined the justice league so the justice league knows very little about batman inc. and consequently dick never joins YJ so the YJ team is tasked with checking out a new hero called nightwing in bludhaven and police officer grayson is tasked with helping the team in their investigation :) really good fic exploring dick juggling all his identities and finally gaining people he can rely on! i actually did a bind of it so you know i love this story so much
Life Happens by @cdelphiki, 176k, complete, G. ok so this fic is probably one of the most beautiful stories of growth and love i've read. its about tim and damian being transported from their world into ours where they're only comic book characters and they start to build a life for themselves here. cdelphiki is one of the most amazing authors, im currently going through all of their works, but this one has just stayed with me and i dont think anyone should pass it up. watching tim and damian grow together and seeing damian have a real childhood and just the whole concept of life happening wether you want it to or not is so beautifully done. cannot recommend enough.
Honoring Promises by LananiA3O, completed, 14k, T. okay this isnt actually a long fic, but its one of my favorite fics ever and i need it on this list. if you're like me and you love UTRH aus where instead of sticking around as red hood after bruce threw a batarang at his throat jason fucks off and disappears to live a normal life, this is for you. from dick's pov, he realizes jasons last letter was a last attempt at reaching out and stalks him until he finds out what really happened to his little brother. i think about this every day and wish it was 10000 words long
The Time Before by @cdelphiki, 80k, completed, G. at this point this is basically just a cdelphiki fic rec lmao when i said everything by them was good, i meant that shit. this is a fic where jason is sent back into time when he was 9 years old but still has all his memories from the future. he goes to bruce for help despite wanting to do literally anything else and is surprised to realize maybe everything isn't how he remembers it 10 years in the future and maybe theres a chance he can go home when hes older again. once again cdelphiki hitting me in the feels with this one, really amazing study on how time and pain can change how you perceive and remember things and also just forgiveness and fixing mistakes and accepting mistakes were made. very good, highly recommend
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors by Sophene, 80k, completed, batlantern, T. I have no excuse for this, this is such a fun and funny fic i love it so much. basically HOA president single dad bruce with his 10 million adopted kids and then hal jordan moves in next door and plays his music too loud at 10pm on a school night and throws parties and bruce has a stick up his ass about it. i really really love the shift in hal when kyle comes to live with him as his ward (? i cant actually remember if hes adopted or just a ward) and seeing him finally understand why bruce acts the way he does when it comes to his kids. also seeing bruce just being a tired dad 90% of the fic when he isnt glaring at hal is so good.
Option C by CasualGeek, 78k, completed, T. this has, in my opinion, a very unique and interesting premise. basically, what if instead of becoming red hood, jason comes back to gotham and manages to get Joker put on trial for the murder of sheila haywood and get the insanity plea thrown out. really interesting approach to batman and joker and jason technically doing things through the legal justice system and what that means for him and the people around him. very good, read it all in one sitting
butcherbird, fly away home by e_va, 41k, completed, M. lost days jason todd loml! basically what if when jason was off on his world tour one of his tutors kidnapped bruce wayne and jason has feelings about it against his will. "what if lost days jason was stuck in the same room as a sick bruce for more than 10 minutes and actually had to talk to him without punching him" AU and i throughly enjoyed it. @darlingatlas recommended this one and she never misses with the jason recs
this kind of weather by r_astra, 55k, completed, T. this is the fic something in the static was originally inspired by and if you know me, i love that series, and i love this fic too. another what if jasons mom didnt die until later and social services gets involved before he can bolt and bruce seeks him out with some very interesting news. i love fics that display jason’s relationship with crime alley and him being one of them. very good, i love jason so much
ok now these aren't actually long fics but i need to get them out here because i love them so much and highly recommend!
To My Brother by a_silly_gander, 7k, completed, T. Lost days jason au where he starts sending post cards from his travels to dick on a whim while we follow his time away and the people he meets. i love this one so much, please read it if you love jason and dick, its so special to me.
Enhanced Fashion Sense is a Perk of Being a Cat by 12pt_timesnewromanfont, 23k, complete, G. selina breaks into drake manor to steal a cat artifact and accidentally meets the drakes ten year old son they left home alone. then she starts keeping tabs on him and eventually adopts him and makes him stray. i really love selina finding tim before bruce and taking care of him <3 10/10 i wish selina would adopt me
#batman fic rec#fic rec#batfam fic rec#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batlantern#fic: jason and the three terrors#fic: life happens#fic: collision of masks#fic: the time before#jason todd fic rec#dick grayson fic rec#damian wayne fic rec
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right, dont know if this makes sense but lets say reader (any gender really idm) was a god who had seen the ups and downs of hualian and had always been there for them but despite the mutual feelings between the 3, none of them confessed.
the thing is that, jun wu (ew…) had become obsessed with reader (since they stuck so much by xie lians and hua chengs side, they got noticed by jun wu) and left his obsession for xie lian behind and one day after planning so for many years, jun wu captures reader and theres no word of reader for days, weeks even yet jun wu acts as normal.
would hualian tear up the whole place, get revenge, rescue reader then make sweet love to them? up to you! you dont have to write ab this request btw:)
Rescue Mission
HuaLian x gn!reader
Ignore grammar mistakes
Slight OOC
Slight misinformation
You, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have spent centuries together
But despite this you've never told them your feelings
And unknown to you, they've never told you their feelings either.
So you're all single but like, everyone else knows you guys are sort of together.
Other people know not to fuck with you when Hua Cheng has obviously staked his claim on you and Xie Lian
Except for Jun Wu, he doesn't care one bit.
Hua Cheng can't have the both of you so Jun Wu decides to obsess over you instead🤷
While Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are deep-rooted in their past, you're a little newer.
You definitely haven't spent 8 centuries with them
Plus how can he not notice you when you're stuck by the strongest martial god, and the strongest ghost king.
It's hard not to put a light on you
Jun Wu's obsession starts there. A small prick of intrigue
None of you would have guessed that he would've gone so far
After years of planning, and years of getting closer and closer to you his intrigue and obsession grows
So he finally takes you
Hua Cheng is on alert within the first 2 hours you're missing.
Maybe he's overreacting, maybe he's not.
You've always stayed by Xie Lian's or his side
And if you leave by yourself you would've told them.
When A whole day passed Xie Lian tries to assure Hua Cheng that you can take care of yourself and you're probably just on a mission
He's trying to make himself feel better too.
When three days pass Hua Cheng and Xie Lian think you've gone missing.
You would never do this to them, you would never make them worry
Hua Cheng has the ghost city on high alert and the ghost realm is already looking for you.
Xie Lian does what he can't in the mortal realm, giving people your description and hanging up drawings of you.
He also does what he can in the heavenly realm, after all a god going missing is very important
Especially when it's a god of the upper court like you
The upper court is in a slight panic. No one knows where you are and a lot of people in the upper court are your friends. So of course everyone's a bit in disarray when none of them have heard from you in three days
Not Feng Xin, Mu Qing, Pei Ming, Ling Wen, nor Shi Qingxuan.
You have so many friends, so many people that love you and yet you're not with a single one of them have you
So where are you?
A majority of the upper court brings it to attention to Jun Wu only for him... To act like nothing's wrong
He says gods are frivolous and curious, you may have just gone out alone.
There's no cause for worry he says
But everyone is still wary, especially Xie Lian
When he tells Hua Cheng what happened it doesn't go well.
With you gone missing and Jun Wu playing it off it doesn't take long for Hua Cheng to be blaming the emperor of your disappearance. Whether it's out of spite or genuine thought he doesn't know.
When a week passes Hua Cheng gives up on searching through the ghost realm
Not as in he gave up on you but as in he's breaking into the heavens to search for you instead.
You think Hua Cheng can't find you?
You'd be silly.
Xie Lian doesn't encourage it but he doesn't stop Hua Cheng either.
And maybe he slips some details about the emperor's palace. On accident of course.
Hua Cheng doesn't care to tear through the heavens as he did before for Xie Lian.
He tears through lower court gods and upper court gods who refuse to give details about your whereabouts, and who won't help him.
It doesn't take long at all for Hua Cheng to get into the main palace.
Especially when most of the upper court gods have gone missing...
Coincidentally enough all your friends aren't in the heavens to protect it
Feng Xin and Mu Qing on a mission, Shi Qingxuan out with the earth master. And the security of the heavens, Pei Ming? Apparently he's gone too.
So Hua Cheng can basically walk through the heavens to get to Jun Wu.
Hua Cheng doesn't feel bad for ripping the palace apart to find you.
And he does find you
Locked away in one of the far rooms, puzzles beyond puzzles. He just broke through them though.
When he finds you he's relieved you have no wounds, and that you're relatively okay despite being taken away for a week
Shaken up from being taken away from the people you care for most.
Hua Cheng would kill the emperor right there if Xie Lian didn't make a clear emphasis on just getting you home.
That doesn't stop Hua Cheng from setting fire to the heavens though
Once you're brought home, it's a lot of hugging, tears, and a lot of questions about what happened.
You cry and tell them that you were scared simply for the fact you would never get the chance to tell them you loved them.
They most literally freeze in their spots and are like "??? For real?"
Once all the I love you's pass Xie Lian and Hua Cheng cling to you
Taking you into bed and worshipping you on the sheets.
You've had a busy week, you deserve to be taken care of and that's exactly what they do.
After that they'll never let you be alone again
One of them is always at your side.
Especially Hua Cheng
The silver butterflies become a common sight in the heavens anytime you or Xie Lian are around
#tgcf#tgcf headcanon#hualian#hualian x reader#hua cheng x reader#tgcf x male reader#tgcf hua cheng#tgcf hualian#tgcf xie lian#xie lian x reader
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its boiling hot rn so heres some lost boy hcs. what i think theyd do/be like in summer (mildly suggestive?)
pls add comments, ill add to it :3
David :
•avoids everyone. i know vampires are cold blooded but no doubt these mfs get agitated during summer. David the worst. he’d be sat there, coat discarded with a pissed off expression. still smoking. god forbid he doesnt smoke
•will even get pissed off with Feeding Time™️ because the bloods warm so he’d just disappear for days on end. hiding away. basically hibernating
•Is Extremely Snappy. he will go for anyones throat, doesnt even matter if youre together (god forbid mates), he’ll be avoiding you just in case but will Bark at the boys given any chance
•”he wouldnt hurt a fly” HE WOULD!!!!!! Fuck That Fly Do Not Invade My Personal Space
•will only calm down once hes cooler, he would genuinely have to piss off to the sea (or i imagine the cave has a watered in area) ((only dwayne knows about it but he let david in on it)) or hes sulking in a damp, desolate part of the cave. just waiting for the summer to end
•only one of the boys that can speak to david during this time is dwayne because of how hes empathetic towards his Boys. Marko And Paul Will Be DropKicked On Sight.
•sleeps upside down, near the darkest most secluded park of the cave. there isnt any air, theres no breeze. he doesnt care, he just wants to, fester. Leave Him To Fester
Marko :
•becomes more feral than he ordinarily is
•he Will be dangling from the ceiling, trying to catch any breeze that rolls in
•he will also be chilling with the pigeons, they find the coolest places in the cave to rest so Why Not?
•the summer heat will also be giving him unneeded energy. he WILL be playfighting with paul and then laying there overheating and gets pissed off once paul tried to interact with him again. Cant You See Im Warm? Jesus.
•will find endless cool drinks on the boardwalk once it cools down during night. itll give him no sustenance and he’ll be pissed off that he has a headache tomorrow but. Mmm Slushie :3
•still eats hot food and will complain about how hes warmer now than before he ate the food. yes he knew beforehand. no he wont stop. let him complain
•him and paul sit shirtless in the centre part of the cave, eating ice creams and then getting pissed off once theyve eaten them all (or theyve melted)
•calmer than david, less irritated than dwayne, less energetic than paul
•sleeps in a random, small part of the cave because the air rushes straight through (he followed the pigeons)(he learns many things from them, this is one of the many great things he found out)
Paul :
•please calm down. its Hot. Get The Memo
•continues his antics, just with, less clothes.
•the ONLY motherfucker thats actively trying to interact with everyone else
•he doesnt get it, god bless. not a single thought in that head x
•is also smoking. sat on that fountain (the cold marble against his back), trying to yell to the others (they ignore him) speaker blasting music (its pissing everyone off)
•the only one that actually leaves the cave (until he convinces marko to get slushes with him. then hes no longer going alone)
•a nuisance. a pure fucking mosquito of a man. he’d be stuck to you if he could, please don’t let him you dont know where hes been (various ponds) (hes upside down in a shrub) (dont help him)
•hes a boombox blaster, weedsmoking, white rum drinker in summer. or whatever he can get his hands on. but best believe he’s living it up even if he doesnt make it out the cave most nights
•sleeps drunk in the fountain, naked. Hey, Its Cool. What Do You Want From Me?
Dwayne :
•is the only one who Actually attempts to cater to the rest
•he knows exactly how everyone is and as much as he Needs To Rot too, he needs to check on everyone first
•only person hes really checking on is david lets be honest
•after finding david and just, checking, he’ll find his own section of the cave. not too far, within ear distance of Everyone in the cave
•he’ll just rest there for a while, just dangling, all sweaty
•sometimes he has enough energy to chill with paul and marko but quickly loses it after a while. paul is Way too much for him in this heat. Hes Markos Issue Now :)
•he is the only one that will remind the other boys that they need to eat. it may be hot, but you still need to eat. cue moody david, hyper paul, sweaty and overstimulated marko and coping mother dwayne
•doesnt speak to anyone, literally not at all, because hes just Too Hot™️ so he’ll just pull your hand to what he wants, guiding you to what he needs
•sleeps alone, in the centre on the cave. just above where they all gather, so he can hear everyone but is just far enough away to get peace. oh, hes also naked.
#the lost boys#david tlb#tlb 1987#the lost boys x male reader#the lost boys x reader#dwayne tlb#paul tlb#marko tlb#the lost boys x gn reader#the lost boys hcs
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