#theres always something hiding there.
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GRAHAM PAYSER IS INSECURE AS HELL
So ive been thinking abt this for some time and i decided i needed to make a post about it bc people were SHOCKED when i pointed it out and like. Is this new???? I thought it was obvious . But if its not, thats what this post is for <3
heres why grahams super insecure actually
Need for Validation
So graham needs attention and validation from other people NONSTOP.
from asking flint to validate everything he just said
to waking up cathal so they'll agree with him
to just seeking people's attention in general.
He cannot just be content with himself on his own, he needs other people to constantly reassure him that he’s right. He claims to be confident but isn’t satisfied with just himself, he needs other people to fill that void
Projecting
The ending cutscene is the biggest case of Graham projecting onto other people AND one of the biggest points where his insecurity shows.
He is EXHAUSTED from his own fight but he can't handle the failure, so he flips everything he's feeling onto the toons instead.
He spends this whole cutscene realizing he's lost and DESPERATELY trying to cover it up because he can't admit defeat, which reeks of insecurity by itself.
It opens with him realizing he's lost and immediately trying to cover up the fact he's upset about it.
He tries to flip the situation and make it seem like the toons lost the fight and puts them down for it because he doesn't want to put HIMSELF down. He doesn't even allow himself to fail, he has to be perfect.
He also straight up lies here. Graham was putting his ALL into this fight, proven by how he collapses from exhaustion at the end. There are no other forms, he wasn't getting started. He was trying his very best and still failed and that destroys him. Again, he can't handle the failure so he just. Lies at this part.
More projecting and trying to make it out as if the toons lost . He himself desperately needs a breather because he burned himself out, but again, he can't handle that fact because he's desperate to be perfect.
Not the ending cutscene but another point worth mentioning in terms of projecting. He brags about burning out the toons yet has a habit of burning HIMSELF out.
The fact he collapses at the end of his fight means he overworks himself to the absolute limits in desperation to be the best. If he's really so great, he shouldn't have to try so hard to prove it. Which brings me to the next point
Trying Too Hard
Someone who is genuinely content with themselves shouldn’t feel like they have to PROVE they are content, yet that’s what Graham constantly does. He is always trying so hard and putting on a show for the people around him to PROVE that he’s confident.
Someone who feels good about themselves shouldn’t have to shove that fact down everyone’s throats. This drives back to the validation point in which he needs people to pay attention to and validate him.
Fantasizing About Success
Graham obsesses over a better version of himself despite claiming to be so confident with who he is currently.
He's not satisfied with where he currently stands. He craves more power, attention and success because he is insecure with where he is now. There's no reason for someone so supposedly confident and perfect to be chasing after a better version of themselves.
Can't Admit Failures
Touched on this earlier with the projecting. Graham insists he's perfect and anytime he fails it immediately makes him panic. Someone who's happy and content with themselves should also be able to accept their flaws, but that's not what Graham does.
When his position for the job is threatened, he immediately loses it.
When he loses his fight, he immediately scrambles for excuses and some way to put himself back on top.
Graham may have a huge ego, but it's a fragile one at that.
Graham’s confidence is a facade. This isn't to say he's doing it intentionally; I honestly think he isn't even aware of his insecurity and genuinely believes he is confident and above others. But people like Graham will often obsess over the IDEA of being confident and above others because they lack it in reality. It’s not just a facade to convince others he’s on top, it’s also to convince HIMSELF he’s on top.
TLDR; oh hes a little fucked up actually.
To finish this off u can have this image i made the other day featuring one of my fav Grahams ive ever drawn LMAO
It pretty much repeats what’s already been said
#toontown#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#graham payser#graham ness payser#toontown pacesetter#my big juicy brain in full effect#thats the tag i came up with just now for my analysis tag.#anywya hopefully this MAKES SENSE and isnt too wordy ?!#its something thats rlly on my mind lately#i knew graham was insecure from the second he opened his mouth#i see confident narcissistic characters and i IMMEDIATELY search for their insecurities.#theres always something hiding there.#anyway i hope to make more analysis posts..they are fun
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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .
𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 . 𝐄𝐋𝐅 . 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 .
-`. template by @kanos . coloring . icons .
✧ ― 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!!):
@pavus, @wlwaerith, @shadowsofrose, @grapecaseschoices, @nokstella
@queennymeria, @risingsh0t, @carrionsflower, @leviiackrman, @griffin-wood
@confidentandgood, @aceghosts, @tommyarashikage, @shadowglens, @yharnams
@anoras, @theelderhazelnut, @florbelles, @celticwoman, @pinkfey
@kyberinfinitygems, @cloudofbutterflies92, @carlosoliveiraa, @shellibisshe, @adelaidedrubman
@lavampira, @capelizabeth, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @statichvm, @unholymilf
@aezyrraeshh, @imogenkol, @aceghosts, @full---ofstarlight, @ellierenae
#oc: irulanne#leg.ocs#leg.edits#*myedits#*ocedit#dragon age rook#da:tv#datv#my necromancer !!!!!!! my baby she’s here!!#teehee the first of the rooks !! so far i have 4 on standby for the fall the brainworms are brainwormingg jnhdkhnsk#spot the lucanne reference hehee twas a must to add something of luca in there he and lanna have had me in a CHOKEHOLD all a week hehe <3#colorings by cavalier remainn ICONIC andd SPEAKING OF WHICH THIS TEMPLATE GOLLY HOLLY#ty tyy orion this template was SOO good *screams* i had SO much fun working with it!!!!!#alsoo the official tarot for necromancers / mages / sidony from inky youll always be loved by MEE.#i am not sure if i want to go too much into her lore yet as its so early but the brainrot is brainrotting and i have SOO many thoughts!!#her history her lore how i see her interacting with the world and the world with her lanna's personality and her dynamic with luca AHHHH#*rattling the bars of my cage* FALL COME SOONER !!#lanna has had the braincell for the week STRAIGHT hdbjh <33#the high stakes tennis match between dragon show and dragon game brainrot hehe <33#ill hopefully have something for them too soooon I MISSED THEMM SO MUCHH#her lighthouse outfit + luca's outfit hehe couples that wear *almost* matching outfits thats soulmates or something (im normal) HEHEE#her name (hopefully the last time i change it djksncks) is inspired by i*rulan from d*une !!#an arcane prodigy entering her girlfailure era <33 girlbossed too close to the sun if u will JNDKJDSN#seemingly puts on an air of confidence but hides BIIIG time nervous wreck energy shes gonna take messing things up well i can feel it :')#i feel like a lot of clothes for her are sort of reminiscent of her time in the mourn watchers? all based on aspects of the dead??#like bones or etc?? but i also love that she could be a lightning learning mage with other magic so she takes to that more ethereal nature#to her style !! she’s also a BIG fan of the opera and was sort of praised as this golden child an arcane prodigy#the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline she is really feeling it now 🥀🤧#hi hi moots if u read all that i am baking you cookies as we speak THERES SO MUCH MORE LOREE on her i have im screaming she’s everythingg#AHH IT WORKED IT POSTED <33 so so happy i can yell about her now HEHE 🥀💌
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Who would Xelqua favorite uncle and aunt be? I would like to think that people be quietly trying to bribe the kid for favoritism lol. I also think it would be funny if a hermit who didn't mind Xelqua but didn't want to interact with him was Xelqua fav :D
pfhhhhh hmm
i imagine Impulse and Skizz would be the type to try and bribe Xelqua, like hey we're fun !!!!! we're so fun !!
But I think Xelqua's favourite uncle is Mumbo, despite Mumbo always being a little nervous to watch him !! He's just so small !! and this is supposed to be the chaotic watcher that wrecked the server a season ago ? its crazy. But Mumbo will do it, he'll babysit his best friend's kid. He'll just be awkward abt it, what do kids like ? crayons ? wires ? Somehow Mumbo is just so unintentionally funny to Xelqua.
I think favourite aunt would be.. Pearl ? I think Xelqua is just relaxed with her, he likes going to the post office, he likes helping organize the stamps of everyone he knows, (occasionally making them talk to each other.) Sometimes Etho and Tango are there and they're silly (i just imagine they'd immediately put on voices for kids) Besides Grian, i think Xelqua likes when Pearl holds/carries him too.
so: mumbo and pearl !
(but i also think xelqua likes joel, but joel doesnt rly want to interact with him, but it cant be helped rly lmao) (see also: xisuma trying to make xelqua laugh and failing, xelqua is so neutral abt xisuma.)
#ask#kidxelqua#xelqua genuinely likes the hermits. theres always something he likes abt each one#special mention: he rly likes joehills but in the sense that hes a celebrity to him. bc the puppet.#the puppet talks to xelqua and xelqua immediately hides his face against grian and joe is like uh oh is he scared of puppets#and grians like. i dont think scared but... so excited he doesn't know how to handle it and gets overwhelmed.
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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🗡 mad cowboy disease....
#‡ ooc#high noon tbt.#thinking of Them while walking to the shops... on my own little quest...#there may be typos but ignore them#listened through mars hn yone playlist i loved watching the 2 hr movie in my head#listening through my hn playlost now maybe ill make tals a spotofy thing too for easier listening....#got so many little scenes in my head#talon munching any lil bug/lizard critter they catch. whether they actually Need to eat is unspecified#but you know. probably. anyway thinking evilly at how i can describe their meals as either tantalising or DISGusting#talon being afraid of ending up an almalgam of feathers and sludge but ove talked abt that before#need to write more talon monologues or story times#reminiscing now. will add more later#talon trying their best to get through a Normal Human interaction on a bar or smth tryong to hide what they are and keep their hat low but-#and theres always a but- someone either catches a glimpse of theor face n compliments them or gets in theor way like 'hey-' or they catch#a glance at feathers or brimstone....#talon getting chased to be put in one of those carnie 'strange encounters' shows... they either do get caught or...#get rid of their would-be captors#time for more thoughts. i need to design talons demonic form and maybe even what their gradual corruption looked like 🤔#i also need to decide on a few factors abt how im treating their cape as tendrils instead... like if they naturally had 5 or lost one...#and how much control over individual segments they have#thinkin abt talon getting in trouble but not like. threat of death danger maybe a malevolent third party who wants them for something else#be it their blood or feathers or smth like that. maybe even after REDACTED and they get a bounty set by the sulfur king for REDACTED reason#to be brought back alive and hunters go after em......#oh. who can a demon slash half angel turn to in these trying times... 🥺😔 not that they want to rely on anyone#talon would rather die than rely on another creature for help. im kidding. :] or am i#thinking abt the thing i said to mars like. after their travels together talon tries to keep their distance from rell and yone but.#fate or something worse keeps bringing them back together. i said it better beforehand but anyway.#if its during this time of being hunted and they cross ways i can imagine talon not staying long at all or just turning 180 at the sight#part the fear the other two will join this hunt as well. the other part is that theyll be in danger if talon asks for help...#nor do they want to owe a debt to these two ough 😒
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Never trust anyone who has "active in discourse" or some variant in their bio like a badge.
#clemramble#sorry i wrote out a big thing about this specific situation on another website but honestly it is never that serious#an honorable mention. also do not trust people who brag about how many people have them blocked. always something up with them#my biggest tip to enhance your online experience is to BLOOOOCK PEOPLE! BLOCK THEM!!! HIDE THEM AWAY FOREVER!! NO MORE!!!#DO NOT BE TEMPTED BY THE EVILS OF BACK AND FORTH NOWHERE ARGUMENTS. MUTE THEM!! GET THEM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!!!#THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BLOCKING OR MUTING THINGS. YOU ARE NOT LOSING IF YOU BLOCK SOMEONE.#(imagine im yelling that directly at the viewer so hard that theres wind motion going on)#“if you block i win” YOU ARE A MISERABLE FIEND AND I HOPE YOU FIND JOY IN LIFE WHERE YOU CANNOT NOW#ok thats all. smiles and sparkles gleam and a squeaky noise is played
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our darling wife but his weapons are chainsaw man-style <33
#im choosing to ignore the practicalities of these <3 its not about that !!#blade my beloved.... you look so much better the more non-human you look......#(not that this is close to non-human at all but theres SOMETHING.)#AT LEAST LET OUR GUY HAVE SOME ROBOT ATTRIBUTES >:( ITS SO RUDE.#augh this looks so good tho im really happy with the result....#loove hiding attributes its soso fun....#unless you know what youre looking for i dont think you can find where the actual weapon used to be <33 HEHEHHEHHE#its always soso fun to swap between the OG and the edit =w=bbb#sillyposting#nu carnival#nu carnival blade#my work
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oh boy it's my least favorite weekend of the year 🙃
#my smol quiet village hosts an art festival every columbus day weekend#so it goes from being dead to having thousands of people walking through#and theres so much traffic i basically cant leave my house the entire weekend#and random people try to park in my driveway#and people i dont like that are friends with my parents always come and park in our driveway without calling to ask if its ok#i fucking hate it 🙃#its like the one weekend everyone i hate in my state is lurking outside my home waiting to see if ill leave my cave#thats what it feels like anyway#anyway#whatever no one cares i know i just needed to bitch about it for a second#ill be hiding all weekened if anyone wants to play a game or something
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observation I have made about myself and the fixation cycle that I wanted to put into a visual form.
#ramblings#i guess the ``ugh why did it have to be THIS`` thing depends on the specific interest#like danganronpa i hid that shit from everybody until it got too much for me to keep in LMFAO#funkin i didnt necessarily try as hard to hide HOWEVER i was still super fucking nervous about developing this current fixation on it qwq#but i guess the previous two before this current one i havent been as anxious about#mob psycho 100 i know is really liked so i was super excited to be fixated on a piece of media that doesnt have a lot of detractors#and then fnaf ive been into since i was fucking 9 and i make this super clear since when im not fixated it remains a constant casual-#-interest. so theres no shame in me admitting im into something thats kinda just always there with me#soooo fucking curious what the next one is gonna be. i say that as if the second fnaf movie isnt supposed to come out#december next year so i have a ticking time bomb on my fucking ass#tho theres still enough time to where this fixation can fade and a new one kick in. so i guess we will seeeeee#im not betting on this fixation becoming one that lasts longer than a year like dgrp did but itd be nice i think
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Sigh I need to rant about certain people and how there is a background noise of discomfort with every interaction after particular incidents that made me go "bitch you live like this???" but all my typical vent spaces are ones where they might see it and the only ones that they wouldn't see it in are like discord channels that are not for this topic of vent or friends who would be uncomfortable with the topic etc like,,, what do I even do? Stew in it?
#catch me very carefully not saying any details about them or the incidents because i dont want them to knowww#i suddenly understand so much better why my dad stays friends with people who are racist/islamophobic to his face#like yeah theyre fun to talk to and they enjoy the same silly shows as me#qnd when were not talking about The Things its easy to forget about The Incidents#but every conversation feels like im hiding part of myself. it feels like if i stop hiding I'll be crucified#theyre fucking scary bro wtf. i didnt know people like that were real that was always abstract fandom drama stuff#and its not THAT scary but also im terrified after only brief glimpses it could be so much worse but if we dont talk about it I'll never#need to know#im like. king of letting go of the incident anf never talking about it but endlessly rotating it and stewing in it and holding a grudge#ummm. ya. fun times 👍#shout out to my brother for letting me talk about it though they're cool as fuck for that#i need more non-white friends who arent online#or at least arent online in the same circles as these people#tbf i need more non-white friends full stop 😭#i need more friends who are freaks also#if i dont go 'theres something wrong with you' at least once a week then theres something wrong#wait that sounds funny lmao#but yeah i need people who are weird and gross and disturbing. not people who are normal with rancid vibes#uhh whatever. I'll get over it <- lying#vent post#if you're wondering if this post is about you it's probably not. probably#sobbing i hate vagueposting it's so mean but what else do i do here#gotta start making people fill out a questionnaire before i allow them so deep into my life istg
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♦ (leto, ker - for now!)
"Little minx. Come on, I couldn't possibly have a secret boyfriend without a girl to share it all with. My sister kept my secret yet I believe couldn't understand any of it. When I think back Ker was even smarter than me when it came to build shenanigans not to get caught by SIster Elizabeth. Everything was fun with Ker, pretty much all the time I don't remember a moment of us not whispering and giggling to ourselves - even in our Janus phase, God. It slowly changed as we approached graduation. Ker has always been a fervant believer, she has always prayed a little harder and a little longer than me. i got surprised for her to be one of the Swans not affiliated to a family but as time passed, I believe I understand why. Mother's favorite swans are the most devoted."
"Disconnected. That boy, he stood... still. Yes, let's remember all the fights that would break between Janus, that assface, and Minwoo. Of course the crows love a good brawl and you know what, I do too. Just not when it comes to Minwoo, I never liked anybody messing with him. I would throw myself in there first chance I got just for Janus to back off. If he can beat a crow up, it's death row if he ever touches a swan so, I had nothing to lose. I will never forget how Leto always stood in the way, not cheering, not stopping any of this, but watching, I had to push him to get into the circle, yelling at him, Jesus, Move! It was in the heat of the moment, I appreciate Leto, he just always seemed... Out of place, disconnected."
"Gentle. Keres's skin is gentle. I like the way it does glowd under the sun in the meadow when we are together. Her voice. It is gentle too, music that I love laced with the lullaby of mine. She is, has always been, will always be my best friend, my dance partner. As a new world seemed to have opened to our sisters , only Keres and I have been left in our own. My sorrow to have lost Gayane has been grand and yet I could not be more happier as I found peace and safety in my Keres presence. I adore it when we lay down together the most. When we fall asleep together, as well. I do not dream of what tortures my mind at night, my sleep is peaceful when by her side."
"Target. I do correlate the level of humanity to the level of potential betrayal in a Crow. There always has been empathy in the eyes of a being like Leto. I have read his medical file enough times to understand the techniques used on the first generation of crows did do the wonders they were expected to. It happened to be a matter of time before the bells ring, as the crows and the dogs got unleashed in the forest to chase after him. Many couldn't possibly believe, mistaking his behavior for cowardice like many before him - they couldn't be more in wrong. I always knew his predominant humanity will make him a target. It must have taken braveness then for him to take the decision to go and run. How unfotunate - he must die, still.
#꣼ 𝑘𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑎 𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑘𝑎𝑛𝑔. / the white swan.#꣼ 𝑘𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑎 𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑘𝑎𝑛𝑔. / interactions.#꣼ 𝑔𝑎𝑦𝑎𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑘𝑎𝑛𝑔. / interactions.#꣼ 𝑔𝑎𝑦𝑎𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑘𝑎𝑛𝑔. / the black swan#I'm having so much fun with these#THANK YOU FOR SENDING LOVE#Gaya and Ker having a friendship based on sneaking out with boys makes so much sense lmao#But Ker indeed is a fanatic compared to Gaya whos like ............ always on the verge of sinning so theres also that#Compared to KaeKer who shares their devotion to the House#But Kae gives codependency with Ker#It's like Kae put a lot on Ker's shoulders by making her her safe space in the House and the one who “ gets her ” because they were both le#I can imagine how this would be heavy and suffocating for Ker too especially with what happens nowadays heh#As for Leto HAHAHA YEAH FOR THE BRAWL YEAH GAYA WAS THERE PUSHING LETO LIKE BITCH DO SOMETHING??#Soryr Gaya just picks up fights with everyone but probs she likes Leto#And when he shows up again and its time to hide him with Minwoo she's like “ Oh shit ” but would do everything to help#She doesn't want him to die especially at some point she knows he's Ker's child father#As for Kae WELLLLLLL she hates LETO SURE but she also noted that interesting thing about him ( like in her diary à#She knew it would happen eventually
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Slowly reconfiguring my altar space but I'm gently adding Halloween decorations as September passes and October approaches, I'm personally obsessed with the little ghost lights. Anyway I don't have a dedicated sideblog for this stuff anymore so I'm just slapping it on main :)
#witchblr#taking a break was so good for me because now im getting back into the flow of it? im realising how my beliefs and shit have shifted#still going to gently worm my back into witchcraft like. im not gonna do any blots or anything for a good while#and figure out ONCE MORE what actually works with my practice#like do i WANT divination to be part of my craft? or do i just feel like i have to#like when was the last time i touched my tarot or my runes or my oracle deck or my pendulum? even before my break?#and when it comes to deitywork. is that something i can commit to? has my time with Loki come to a close? lots of questions to ask.#and also do i really want to keep a grimoire/bos? because im too much of a perfectionist for it#and the stuff i do regularly are in my head. if I'm doing something different then I'm going to use other books as research points#idk theres a lot to think about. maybe I'll just ponder the wizard and stop sweating the details lmao#you'd think i had this shit figured out after over a decade but fuckin nooooppppeeeee#anyway witchcraft is always a journey and there's always more to learn and experience#its easy to say that shit but harder to accept it#ALSO LOKI LIVES IN MY BEDROOM I AINT EVER GONNA HIDE HIM AWAY#i cherish all the time spent with a deity and appreciate them for being there during that part of my life#just like with hecate before its ok if my time with loki is over. it is what it is. its not sad its something to look fondly on
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also a lot of the stuff ive read that really praises Flanagan's work seems to highlight how Little it feels like horror.. says things like It Actually Is About Human Connection and it's like????? horror is always about people??? do you actually watch horror before this or do u just imagine the idea of a pulp slasher and then start quaking in anger
#praise mike flanagan without creating a strawman of horror please thank you#but also i find it kind of painfully untense and boring how characters are always talking ahout how they feel#they just say it. where is the tension#lots of long meandering conversations where it doesnt feel like either character is trying to hide something#even when you know they are hiding something#it feels like idk. therapy speaky? even when theres no therapy speak happening
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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new year new william. leaning into the mad scientist vibe. it's what he deserves.
#//an explanation: i was listening to weird science by oi.ngo boingo and you should too its a good song#//after elizabeth and evans deaths he throws himself into his work with a smile on his face and blood on his hands#//and refuses to give into his grief because Theyre Not Dead :)#//denial leads to murder leads to unethical experimentation leads to groundbreaking scientific discoveries (that he shares with no one)#//leads to murder again#//he hides it well enough from most people. and close friends know hes always been a bit of an eccentric anyway.#//but theres something Wrong about his smile nowadays. something unsettling about the look in his eye.#//ANYWAY enjoy the peepaw content im going sleepys <3#❥ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ⸻ post ▻ 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆
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im not sure if this is a bug or a feature but like when the entities have to manifest like actual concrete powers for their avatars sometimes it just comes out slightly silly like the desolation people are all just. good at arson. peter lukas is just a Guy who can turn invisible sometimes. jon occasionally gets random useless trivia put in his head. hysterical
#asto vs the archives#i say sometimes because the way the hunt manifests for daisy is actually kind of unnerving#julia and trevor tho theyre funny#just having a jolly good time#also theres something really funny to me specifically about the dark avatars like#the dark is the closest thing to like. if i were marked by an entity irl this would be it#the dark or the spiral#but the dark avatars are always like. well idk theyre just kinda there??#idk i guess the way the dark is scary doesnt really require like. human input#like the statement about the guy who has to hide under his blanket from the dark blob every night? thats scary but no humans were involved#and like nikola orsinov or michael distortion or even jared hopworth get the benefit of very clearly being Something Else#but the dark avatars are always.... obviously and unfortunately human#like manuela dominguez does her sermon and im just like mam this is a wendys
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