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#theres a reason i started after i moved out
i-am-the-rat-king · 5 months
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Can I just say? I love my dad! He's amazing!
Yeah he's still republican and stuff, but he was actually the only family member of mine that hasn't made me starting T into a personal attack to them. He's so nice about it, he's stopped using gendered terms for me and is so nice. He clearly doesn't understand but he's so sweet about it!
I was so scared when I was telling him because just a day or two prior I told my mom and she was screaming at me and made me cry for the rest of the day about it. My dad? No screaming, no blame, just "oh... OK! If that makes you happy I'm glad!" And that was that!
If you're a parent trying to figure out how to react to your kid coming out, please be more like my dad. Their transition is not a personal attack on you, and they want you to be there for them, and to be their parent through it all. Don't make them beg you to still be their parent
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arsenicflame · 18 days
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Bootblacking is my favourite kink to give Izzy, because of course this guy would get his rocks off doing precise, repetitive, manual labour. OF COURSE he gets off on what is essentially just another chore on his list.
#this is genuine btw#i think it fits his character so wonderfully#taking this time to relax & forget about everything else. to kneel at his lovers feet and fall into a sort of trance doing the same motion#over and over. the satisfaction of a task well done.#i also think he often struggles to calm his brain down- too busy thinking about what still needs doing and what could go wrong-#so he finds it hard to allow himself the time to truly relax. something like bootblacking lets him feel like hes doing something while also#getting to have that moment of peace he so desperately needs#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#nsft#a little. mostly to be safeeeeee#thinking about ed tricking him into it when they were younger- after they got their own ship they stopped having time to be kids#and izzy got so anxious about the whole deal. its not that he pulled away from ed; hes still just as present as ever when ed wants him#but he never sits in the captains cabin in the evening. he never stops. the second theres a moment of pause hes onto the next task#and eds boots do need dealing with. so ed frames it as something he needs izzy to do for him. sit there while ed works out their next move#the cabins only small so izzy takes the floor while ed works at the desk- better to keep the mess away from the maps anyway#and ed chatters as he thinks about where theyre going; just mindless noise that izzy doesnt need to really listen to.#and the brush is moving in his hands and its calm and. his brain goes quiet for the first time in months#(ed notices this obviously)#(hes gonna start making izzy do this every couple months)#(this is the real reason he wears so much leather- gotta get a rota going!)
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puppyeared · 6 months
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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jrueships · 10 months
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Admin: which teammate do you pick to cook your Thanksgiving dinner?
Alpey, who has brought his own baked goods for the team before; therefore, should have the most credibility and trust to be skilled in the kitchen: *happily suggests himself as the best option for jabari*
Jabari:
#jabari is like the kind of person who works a 15 hr shift then complains abt her tired they are#and how they cant sleep bcs they have so much to do around the house#but wont let their husband cook for them bcs they want to do it themselves then complain abt having to do it themselves#moms who start vacuuming the house at 4am then complain about how theres no one helping#'MOVE. ILL JUST DO THE DAMN THING MYS E L F !'#*2 seconds after scaring charity away* why do i have to do everything myself.'#the trials and tribulations of the stubborn control freak#he later says 'im not letting anyone else cook my food for me. (i pick) me. jabari.'#just tearing out alpeys heart and stomping on it 😭#picky ass eater who loves luxury jabari vs expired yogurt and carmel and chocolate syrup drizzled over it to feel fanciful alpey#bite#to the death#they literally asked this question last year??? before they banished gup to the gallows#alpey: alperen şengün 😄!!! ✨️ 🩵🩵#jabari: 😐#jabari (no grey matter): kill yourse-#why do they keep doing this to each other#alpey is the playful beloved family dog whos always in the room with the most people being pet 24/7 for being there & sweet#and jabari is the odd and aloof cat who has sporadic springs of affection and wacky affection#and will usually show himself when hes about to cause trouble for no apparent reason at no apparent schedule#like creeping over to a sleeping alpey and skippity papping him in the head without rhyme warning or reason#then taking off#zero apology or context given
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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fruitsyrups · 27 days
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blank eyed girl and ghost fly and the first investigation and stakes miniseries (but specifically the parts that involve finn and jake) and also sometimes kind of objects or scenes (like the sword finn gets from hunson and the scene in the same episode where they're all eating pizza after marcy's concert ... all has a certain kind of atmosphere to me... a vibe.. if you will. i dont know what it is though. but im a little bit crazy about it to be honest
#something something night time something something investigation something something pizza. for some reason ? because they're also getting#pizza at the start of blank eyed girl. and that is undeniably part of the vibe.#something something paranormal/supernatural (are those synonyms or no) elements ... smth smth Hanging out while that stuff is going on...#the episodes where marcy and pb and finn and jake and pepbut are hunting the vampires in the woods ... condense that and inject in directly#into my veins. thx#i dont think i ever talked about these much because theyre conceptually very out there and kind of embarrassing but#ive got these aus... heehee... one of them is a modern/teacher au(bonnie/marcy are teachers . finn is a student . jake is finn's caretaker)#and also a vampire au. and you might be thinking Thats not au marcy is already a vampire... but THE THING IS! not in this one. actually.#because the whole thinngggg is that PB is a vampire and its a SECRET and marcy comes from a family of vamp hunters#so she obviously suspects PB of being a vampire but they both talk around it and flirt obviously and its all sooo silly. and i love it.#AND THEN THERES ANOTHER ONE. and it's another modern/everyone-is-human au (sorry i'm boring) EXCEPT finn is a werewolf. so like... finn is#dog (in a way) and jake is a human. you get it.#and pb is studying to become a scientist . and jake is still finn's caretaker because even in modern aus finn is a double orphan to me. soz#btw when i say jake is his caretaker i mean that joshua and margaret were the ones who adopted him but then they died and jake got#custody. finn and jake still have a brotherly dynamic even in this scenario. jake is responsible for him but they still see eachother as#brothers. just to be clear. like it's not a father figure kind of situation. i love their unconventional family dynamic 😽 i love them so#much. ermmm hang on i got off track...#so finn is a werewolf and jake is aware of it and they drag PB into it because she knows Science .#pb is like ... well i can't just NOT cure lycanthropy.#so thats that whole thing...#love it. great idea . whoever came up with all that must be sooo cool. and cute too. probably really smart and funny too. 😇#and aaalssooooo. i was tossing around the idea of another modern/human world au (i knooow im sorry i dont know why i keep doing this) and#it's a chatfic. and i know how that all sounds. BUT!!!! yeah this one has a twist too. because how could it not ! i am Me after all.#actually recently all of my ideas have been grounded af. borderline slice of life even. so boring i know.#but these AUs are all stuff i came up with a little while ago so they all had to be silly in order to even keep my attention for 5minutes.#so the twist in this one is that BMO is an AI (but like actually sentient not just a boring chatbot bc what wld even be the point of that)#and then robots try to take over the word or smth. and then bmo saves the word and stuff#no real plots for any of these AUs but the ideas are there. and i do want to try to do something with them somedayyyyy. eventually.#i hardly ever move on from anything actually. thats my truth.
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toasted-valentine · 2 months
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@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.
#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#the set design dude#the world is just decaying around Owen as they’re dying from the inside out#everything starts losing color and we stop seeing Owen out in the bright sunlight#the only shot that’s there that’s nice and bright and wonderful is the one of maddys burial spot#the split second pause after the drive thru worker calls Owen sir#like it was just physically painful to hear and they needed a second#the fact they just start apologizing for having a breakdown but there’s still time and they shouldn’t be doing that#they phrase it as needing to become a man but really all they’re doing is killing themself slowly over time#i 100% read Maddy and Owen/Isabel and Tara as t4t love where one of them was ready to come out and move on with their life while the other#is too scared to ever change and is stuck in an endless loop of being something they’re not#Owen has the personality of wet grass but that’s the entire point#being too scared to ever be anything more than what is expected and just rotting over years and year and just hating yourself all the while#I love the part where Owen can’t verbalize why exactly their romantic attraction feels wrong#it’s wrong because they’re trans and can’t incision a life as Owen but can’t say out loud that it’s being perceived as a male in#a relationship that is the problem#the jab the dad makes about pink opaque being a girl’s show and how the dad is the one to drag Owen away from freedom in the tv#he’s holding Owen back but they’re so fucking scared to live as Isabel and are just stuck in a cycle of self loathing#but there’s still time#the reason Maddy/Tara doesn’t come back is because there is still time#but Owen has to be the one to commit to being Isabel and no one else is going to drag them into the dirt#it’s their choice alone and their inaction is a choice all on its own#no matter how much time passes as long as Owen is alive then there is still time to change but their inaction is slowly killing them#the fact they find the truth in their own chest dude that’s such a trans thing#where the fuck is my insurance card I’m calling my doctor to start t when the offices open#THERES STILL TIME MAN#THERES STILL TIME
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gifti3 · 3 months
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i think one appeal of gachas is that the fandom is more likely to stay highly active for years and years
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cerbreus · 4 months
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Wish me luck that the line to the dump tomorrow is short and that we don't get turned away for some reason bc we have the wrong kind of stuff for the dump 😔🙏 which I mean. It's a dump. So idk what that would be but it's a worry I have because we literally have nowhere to put any of our move out trash rn it's so bad.
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shleemies · 7 months
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Just did a T shot for the first time in years!! I was so brave!!! Used a bluey bandaid too :-)
#i started t in 2017 but after a few weeks i started having an allergic reaction to the cottonseed oil used in it#started getting it compounded with a grapeseed oil suspension and it was fine! until 2019 i moved cities#the new compounding pharmacy would only fill a 6 month supply. id previously been getting 2 month supplies. it was way more expensive#but i was able to get the 6 month supply#2 or so weeks in. the vial fucking fell and shattered. T is majorly regulated and i wasnt allowed a refill for 5 and a half months#when i was able to get back on T i opted for the topical and was on it for years#it was great it worked great#a couple of months ago though my ocd got extremely bad and the contamination aspect of the topical just got to be too much to deal with#so i stopped T for that reason and another reason i wont go into. not important or transition related but i had my reasons#tried to convince myself to start the topical again but when i tried i just got way too anxious wbout the contamination still soooo#i found out theres silicone sleeves online you can get for vials to prevent breakage if they fall so i got an appt with the clinic#told them about all my concerns and stuff#tried to get the pellet implant first but they said i have to go somewhere else for that#may or may not follow up on that#but they were able to prescribe me the sesame oil suspended T and stuff so i cant do shots again#reason i did compounding before was the sesame suspension was more expensive for me at that point#but now its way cheaper for me than the compounded T#so ya this is the context for why i wasnt doing shots for years but now am doing them again#suprisingly enough i had a needle phobia before starting T#but it subsided pretty quickly for the most part when i started and the needle aspect of it all was never a factor for stopping injections#just the price and risk of losing months of T in an instant#i dont have my silicone sleeve for the vial yet but its in the mail. rn my T is safe and sound in a jjk pencil bag :)#tw needles#just in case#didnt expect to write so much in the tags lol
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snailfen · 2 years
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i woke up from a nap 30 minutes ago with the best animatic idea (two birds by regina spektor my beloved) ive had in 17 years with kris and lyra and ive been stuck in a very intense catastrophic autism event about it the entire 30 minutes,
(catagory 20 autism event in the tags below)
#god. LIKE OK WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH THE IDEAS I HAVE PLANNED FOR THESE TWO IN THE FIRST PLACE#like. in my head kris originally lived in new bark town and was friends with ethan#but had to move away because her mom got a job at the goldenrod radio tower#and lyra moves in soon after! ethans upset and pretends to dislike lyra but his mom makes him play with lyra and they hit it off instantly#kris is really shy and she has low energy so she doesnt really make any new friends in the city. she really only has her mom#and her phone calls with ethan#meanwhile lyra is really energetic and social and makes a lot of friends really quick!#so when ethan starts journeying and reunites with kris in goldenrod and kris finally meets lyra she cant help but just. hate her.#its not just that she moved into kris's house and took her place as ethan's friend. lyra has a lot of the things kris wishes she had#then team rocket takes over goldenrod city and kris's mom is trapped in the tower like all the other employees.#lyra is the one who gets into the tower first and she helps a lot of innocent people get out including kris's mom#and kris is grateful her mom is safe (shes really close to her mom since shes one of the only people she has) but also. really confused?#shes been nothing but a jerk to lyra since theyve met.#but when she started panicking about her mom being in danger lyra promised to find her anyways. and she saved her too!#after lyra's dad finds out about the team rocket takeover though he lyra to come home.#he always worried for lyras safety and wants her to stay out of trouble (theres a really good reason for this btw)#and lyra disobeyed him when he called her and told her to stay away from the city#and kris doesnt feel like she should just. stand by and let that happen! lyra helped save her mom.#and her journey is really important to herself and so kris goes right up to lyras dad and gives him quite the earful#she somehow manages to convince him to let lyra finish her journey! and lyra is so fucking grateful#and the two start becoming friends from that point on. lyra becomes really important to kris#im thinking of maybe lyra giving kris two thin white ribbons to tie ribbons on her pigtails?#first of all as a symbol of their friendship and also to draw similarities between the two of them#second of all. (gestures to suicune)#anyways what did i say. catagory 20 autism event. im gonna have to edit a tag at the top#mossball.txt#gsc#trainer kris#trainer lyra#pokemon
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nerdie-faerie · 1 year
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Must be nice to be the sort of person who's mental health improves as the weather improves meanwhile I feel like I start to lose my mind quicker than usual at the first stroke of sunny weather
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sabrina-valerie · 1 year
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>Read a really good fic based on the Mario Movie wherein Kamek's got a bit of an issue with his reflection in a mirror (cw: internalized transphobia)
>Want to go comment on it because it was that good (and i'm working on a comment bingo card)
>Want to include a mention of that flavor text from one of the Mario Party games about how Kamek has a panic attack when he sees himself in a mirror
>Go look up the fact on the wiki so i can quote it in the comment
>Realize the flavor text is actually this:
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>Get really embarrassed and delete half the comment
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cowgirlboy · 29 days
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just found out about acquired neurodivergency/how c/ptsd can behave like neurodivergency what the fuckkk
#really really hesitate to diagnose myself with things#but ive been thinking a lot about this stuff the past few years....#esp with how things have gotten after moving out of my old house and going to/leaving college 😭#i relate a LOT to my diagnosed autistic friends and we've talked about it extensively#but theres a lot of key things they and many other autistic people experience that im not sure i do....#but i dont really relate to other types of neurodivergency as much#but finding out cpstd can look a lot like autism/they can be comorbid in certain cases is interesting....#not diagnosed w that either but i feel its likely based on. everything.#ive been thinking a lot about how many similarities my upbringing had with cult characteristics so 💀#not an actual cult by any means but its been extremely difficult for me to start living in “regular” society again in any case#anyway. much to think about....#therapy and psychiatry really dont do anything for me and im not interested in getting an exact diagnosis really#the bottom line is its been extremely helpful and healthy for me to think of the things i experience as neurodivergent#and use tips and tricks for neurodivergency to help myself function#rather than what i was doing before which was thinking i was a broken unfixable freak lol#so i dont need a diagnosis like some of my friends do but i do always worry im faking for some reason 😭#plus i dont think i could ever explain any of this to my family members w/o a diagnosis they would not take it seriously....#diary
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atlabeth · 1 month
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family line
pt 2
pairing: spencer reid x gideon!reader
a/n: pardon the end where i just go into endless conversation for no reason but i cannot control myself. anyways thank you sosososo much for all the love on the last part and gideon!reader as a whole it makes me so happy!! enjoy some dad-daughter-spence car convos(arguing) and some elle time
wc: 3.8k
warning(s): the usual! r and gideon argue, gideon is not a good dad(but theres some reconciliation), angst, hurt/comfort, but some fluff between r and gideon & spence. more of a set-up chapter
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The drive over to the safe house is a long one, and unfortunately, not a quiet one. 
Spencer takes the back seat, leaving shotgun for you with your dad. He spends the entirety of the drive briefing you on what living in a safe house will entail, all the things you can and can’t do. 
You can’t use your phone because it could be tracked. You can’t leave the place without Spencer because you are, in fact, being stalked. You’re not to reveal anything about your location to anyone—you’re basically shut off from the world until the unsub is behind bars. 
And once he’s done briefing you, he basically starts interrogating you. 
“Have you been contacted like this before in any way?” 
You huff a laugh. “What, with creepy pictures of myself? No.” 
“Anything unsettling,” he clarifies. “A text message, a call, an email— anything that rubbed you the wrong way that you might’ve just passed off as a joke or spam.” 
“No,” you repeat. 
“You’re sure?” 
“How many times do I have to say no?” You pull your phone out of your pocket and stare at your dad. “Go through it if you want. You won’t find anything.” 
He pauses, then he nods. “Reid.” 
You shake your head with a slight laugh, then turn it over as Spencer extends a hand. He flips it open and starts to go through it, and you just cross your arms and stare out the windshield. 
“We should really hand this over to Garcia,” he says. “She’ll be able to do a lot more than I can. I don’t really—”
“Like technology, I know,” your dad finished. “We will. Just trying to get all the leads we can upfront.” 
You sigh, but you keep quiet. You guess you can’t really consider it an invasion of privacy when there’s a stalker after you. 
“We typically talk to stalking victims for a while to figure out their lifestyle and possible suspects, as well as the type of stalker we’re dealing with,” Spencer says. “We don’t exactly have the time for that here.” 
“This unsub has already been watching you for a month, maybe more,” your dad says. “He’s made his first move by reaching out to me—that means he wants us to know about him, wants you to know about him.” He glances over at you. “He wants to scare you. You’re not going to give him that satisfaction.” 
“You’re jetting me off to a safehouse before you’ve even gotten the chance to look into any leads,” you say. “It looks like we’re pretty scared, Dad.” 
“It’s preparation,” he says. “The unsub has made his first move—I’m not going to wait around for him to make another and compromise your safety.” 
“This could also be a lot more dangerous than we think,” Spencer says. You still hear him clicking through your messages, and you’re beginning to regret your decision to turn it over to him. “Our unsub could be someone after Gideon using you as collateral.” 
Your heart stops for a split second and your attention snaps to your father. “What?”
“…It is a likely option,” he says. “Very few people know you as my daughter. Someone who wants to hurt me could try to use you to do it.”
“So I was right,” you say. “This is only happening because I’m your daughter.”
“Do you want me to say yes?”
“Yes!” you exclaim. “Yes— I want you to admit that I’ve missed out on all the positives of you being my dad and gotten stuck with all the negatives!”
“This is not the time,” he says. 
“How is it not the time?” you ask with a laugh. “You’ve said it yourself several times— my life is in danger. There’s someone out there that might kill me to get back at you. What is a better time than this to talk about how shitty of a dad you’ve been?”
“A better time would be when we aren’t this high strung,” he says evenly. “Neither of us are thinking as properly as we should be. We don’t want to say anything we’ll regret.”
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll regret any of this,” you say. “After all, I could be dead soon, right? I should get all those regrets out of the way.”
“Please stop arguing,” Spencer interrupts hastily. “This— this is very uncomfortable.”
You scoff. The flames burn just as bright, but for some reason, you decide to hold them back a bit. 
“I’m sure it’s real hard for you, boy genius.”
The silence lingers. You can tell he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. Your dad, to his credit, doesn’t stoke the fire.
It looks like you’re all capable of restraint today. 
“I— I went through all her messages,” Spencer continues. It irks you that he talks like you’re not here. “There’s nothing suspicious there, at least.”
“Good,” your dad says. “I’ll hand it over to Garcia after I drop you both off.”
“We’re not gonna have a car?” you ask.
“You’ll have this one,” he says. “That’s why Agent Greenaway is following us.”
“Elle’s coming?” Spencer asks, and you see him perk up. You belatedly wonder what that deal is. 
“Just so she can drive me back to the office,” your dad says. “She offered.”
“What’s everyone else doing?” 
“Garcia is digging through some of your personal records for the team,” he says, glancing at you. “JJ is in contact with the local police stations so they’re ready once we have a profile. Morgan and Hotch should be looking through every case I’ve closed to get a running list of suspects.”
“Great,” you say as you lean back in your seat. “Nothing like getting my whole life aired out and put under a microscope.”
“It already is,” Spencer says. “You’ve got a stalker.”
“Thanks, Spencer,” you mutter. “I forgot.” 
-
The rest of the drive goes by with ease—at least, relative to how difficult you’ve made everything else. 
You’re already sick of Spencer Reid by the time you get out of the car. You don’t know how you’re going to survive such close quarters under these kinds of circumstances. 
Another car parks next to you as the three of you get out, and your eyes are drawn to the woman that steps out. 
“Easy drive?” your dad asks. 
“I was right behind you,” Agent Greenaway says. “You drive like an old man.” 
Your dad just barely smiles. “Stay with her, Elle. Reid and I are going to check the perimeter.” 
“You can’t be serious,” you cut in. 
“I already told you I’m not taking chances with this,” he says, and he takes his gun out. “This won’t take long.” 
Spencer takes his out as well—he carries it with both hands, like it’s actually weighing him down, and it’s a bit ridiculous—and they split to cover both sides of the house and the surrounding area. You sigh and shake your head as you cross your arms. 
“He’s certainly spirited,” Agent Greenaway says. 
You huff a laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” 
“I’m Elle, by the way,” she says. “I know we haven’t been formally introduced.” 
You nod your acknowledgment and say your name. “Nice to meet you.” 
She turns to fully face you. “Do you mind if I say a few things?” 
“If it’s about my dad—”
“It’s not,” she interrupts with a wry smile, “I promise.” 
You shrug. “Then sure.” 
“First, I just want to ask if you’re doing alright,” she says. “You’ve gotten a lot dropped on you all at once.”
“I’m as good as I can be,” you say. 
Elle nods, and her eyes soften. “I’m not gonna tell you to take it easy on Gideon. He’s an incredible agent, but that makes it hard to be a good dad.”
You don’t say anything, and she continues. 
“My dad was on the force too. I resented him for a lot of my childhood because he was gone so often, but… then he was killed in the line of duty.”
You frown. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Elle nods in thanks. “I’m not trying to get sympathy. I’m just saying I know what it’s like.”
You shift your balance and sigh, glancing away momentarily. “Everyone here sees him as a hero, and— and he is. He started this whole thing and you all save lives every day, but it feels like he’s missed my entire life because of it.” You huff a bitter laugh. “I think you all know him better than I do.”
“I think you’re probably right,” she admits. “You deserve to be angry. And honestly, I think you deserve to hate him some for it.” 
You huff a slight laugh. “You’re the one person who hasn’t tried to make me feel bad for it.”
She shrugs. “You’re in an awful situation and it might be because of him. You don’t have to have endless grace.”
“Any chance I can get you to stay in here with me instead of Spencer?” you ask.
She smiles. “I don’t think Gideon wants to stick the two of us in a house together. But I am gonna make sure we catch this guy.”
“These kinds of assholes go after vulnerable women because it gives them the attention they crave,” she continues. “They worm themselves into their lives and disrupt it all and it makes them feel powerful—you have to play to their whims.”
“Sounds like you have a lot of experience with this,” you murmur.
“I have a lot of experience putting away sick men,” Elle says. 
“Do you have any advice, then?” you ask weakly. 
“I’ve only been around you for a few hours, but I already know you’re better and stronger than whatever bastard is after you,” she says. “He wants to control your life. Don’t let him.” 
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “I’m… really glad you’re on my side.”
She smiles again. “Just doing my job.”
Your eyes latch onto your dad as he and Spencer come back around the front, and they both tuck their guns back into their holsters. 
“It’s all clear,” your dad says. 
“And I’m not dead,” you say. “Looks like we’re all doing good.”
He chooses to ignore you, instead looking at Elle. “Did you go over anything with her?” he asks.
She shakes her head. “Just gave some advice.”
“Great,” Spencer says. “Just what I need.”
“Oh, get over yourself, Reid,” Elle says. “You’ll be fine.” 
You don’t miss the look he gives her, and your dad clears his throat. “Can you take her inside and check everything? Reid and I need to talk.” 
He frowns. “We do?” 
“Sure,” she nods. 
You stare at your dad this time, and he doesn’t entertain your annoyance with some of his own. “We’ll be in soon.” 
“Sure,” you repeat. 
You follow Elle in—you don’t feel like getting a lecture on safety just yet—and when you pass a glance over your shoulder, you meet Spencer’s eyes. He was watching you. 
His eyes dart away just as quickly, and you huff the slightest laugh. You don’t know if he’s scared of you or just tired of you already, but whichever one, you don’t really care. If you have to be stuck in this house with him, he has to be stuck in there with you too.
Elle shows you around the place, and it’s nothing special—a one story house with two bedrooms and a noticeable lack of windows, furnished plainly with a couch and a few chairs, a small kitchen table, a television. You’re honestly surprised at how nice it all is. 
But as she takes you on the impromptu tour, you can’t stop thinking about her words. You can’t stop thinking about all of it, honestly. 
A month ago, you were driving home in silence after your dad forgot about the plans you made. A week ago, you were out for drinks with friends. 
Today, you’re hunkering down in a safe house because there’s a stalker after you, and you have to do it with your dad’s stand-in kid. 
That’s what gets you, you think. That you know more about Spencer Reid than anyone at his job knows about you—that your dad ignores you in favor of his work, and instead of trying to fit you into his life, he finds an FBI replacement.
Your jaw clenches. It takes a few seconds for you to realize you’ve completely tuned out Elle, only really coming out of it when she says your name.
“Sorry,” you say. “I was distracted.” 
“I don’t blame you,” she says wryly. 
You’re about to respond when Spencer walks in with your dad. His face is slightly flushed and, as opposed to all the other times, he won’t make eye contact with you. You can only imagine what your dad decided to talk to him about. 
“You showed her around?” your dad asks. 
Elle nods. “The basics. She and Reid can figure out the rest.” 
“Thank you,” he says. He looks at Spencer, who has his hands stuffed in his pockets and is very intently focused on the wall behind you. “Help Elle get the rest of the things out of her car.”
He frowns. “Elle doesn’t need my help.”
“Come on, Reid,” she says as she starts to walk. 
He blinks and nods. “Oh. Uh— yeah.” 
You feel his eyes on you as he goes, but you don’t meet them. You just stare at your father.
“Is it my turn for a lecture?”
His eyes soften as he says your name. “This isn’t how I want things to be between us.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug, “it takes a decade or two of neglect to get here.”
“You’re right,” he says. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me. But I’m going to get you out of it.”
“I hope so,” you say. “Because I don’t really know how Doctor Reid is going to help.”
“Don’t take it out on Reid,” your dad says. “Hate me all you want, but leave him out of it.”
“You’re the one that pulled him into it,” you retort. “He’s more your kid than I am.”
“And I regret it,” he says. Your eyes widen a bit, and it actually gets you to shut up. “I regret that it took something like this for me to be a part of your life again. But I don’t want our last interaction before you’re sequestered for the indefinite future to be a fight.”
“That’s all I’m good at when it comes to you,” you mumble. The wind has been taken out of your sails considerably. 
“And I want to change that,” he says. “But first, we have to get through this. And we’re going to get through it together, sweetheart.” 
The term of affection feels strange coming from him. Ever since your teenage years, he’s felt less like your dad and more like some estranged cousin. You hate it. You hate how unfamiliar everything feels with him. Jason Gideon has been a profiler longer than he’s been a dad and it shows in your every interaction with him. 
But still, your heart aches. You bite the inside of your cheek.
“You promise?” you ask. You feel like a kid again. 
“I promise,” he says. 
Then your dad pulls you into a hug, and for a moment, you freeze. You can’t remember the last time he hugged you. 
Despite the anger inside of you, the bitterness built in your bones, you can’t help it—you hug him back. You practically melt into his arms as you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to stop the sudden threat of tears. 
Because deep down beneath it all, you’re scared. You’re fucking terrified, actually, and right now you’re just a girl who wants comfort from her dad. 
“I love you,” he says. 
“…I love you too,” you mumble.
Neither of you pull away for a good thirty seconds. When you do, you turn around to wipe your eyes, not wanting him to see. You hear the door open and start, but it’s just Spencer and Elle with some bags and boxes. 
“Elle’s got some groceries,” your dad says, clearing his throat. “We’ll deliver more if necessary, but you’ve got the basics for a couple weeks, at least.” 
“And a whole lot of books and movies,” Spencer says, hefting the box in his hands. “Did you know that there have been approximately 122 million unique titles published since the invention of Gutenberg’s printing press in 1440?” 
“That’s less specific than usual,” Elle says. “You sure you’re feeling okay?” 
He frowns. “I couldn’t find statistics on the exact number.” 
“Why were you even looking at those statistics?” 
“I get bored sometimes.” 
Elle just laughs as they continue into the living room. You feel your dad’s eyes on you, and you sigh. 
“I’ll take it easy on him,” you say. “Mostly. Maybe.” 
And he actually smiles. “Thank you.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” you say offhandedly, but you find the slightest smile creeping on your lips as well. You kind of hate it. 
Everything else goes by relatively quickly now that you’re not arguing every single thing—you have to fight your instincts not to, but you manage—and eventually, after another lingering hug and some promises to be safe (and one from Spencer to your dad to keep you safe)—you’re alone in the house with him. 
“So,” you say as you settle on the couch, “this is what the indefinite future is going to be like.” 
“If it makes you feel better, last time we dealt with a stalker we caught them in a few days,” Spencer says. “She watched her for a good while, though.” 
“It doesn’t make me feel better,” you say. “Thanks.” 
“...Sorry.” 
You shrug your indifference and Spencer walks past you, focusing in on some of the paintings hanging on the wall. You’re sure he knows the artist, title, and meaning behind every single one, so you speak up before he can start.  
“What did you and Elle talk about?” 
“How this place doesn’t have a pool,” he says.  
You frown. “What?” 
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “What’d you and Gideon talk about?”
“We fought then made up,” you say. “It was… weird.” 
Spencer looks at you. “How?” 
You shrug again as you cross your arms. “You’ve seen how we are. We don’t exactly get along.” 
“Has he really been that bad of a dad?”
“It’s none of your business,” you say. “But… yes. He’s barely been a dad at all.” 
Spencer shakes his head. “I don’t get that. He’s so different in the field.” 
“That’s why he’s barely been a dad—because he’s so busy here.” You tilt your head. “Don’t you have some facts or whatever on the percentage of fathers that are workaholics?” 
“Well, 89% of dads work full time,” Spencer says. “And fathers typically work around 47 hours a week. But I don’t have anything on workaholics specifically.” 
“Great.” You stand up and walk over to the box of DVDs Spencer set down on the table, and you start rifling through them. “So, what’d my dad tell you about me?” 
Spencer blinks. “What do you mean?” 
“When I came in here with Elle and he kept you out there,” you say. “Did he give you the run-down? Warn you on how difficult I am to be around? Tell you that I hate you?” 
His Adam’s apple bobs. “Uh— no. He just… talked to me. Gave the rundown on everything.”
You hum. “You can tell the truth.” 
“I— I am,” he says. He’s clearly not. “He didn’t say anything bad about you. Promise.” 
“Whatever you say.” You land on a DVD and glance over at him. “How do you feel about Groundhog Day?” 
He shakes his head. “I don’t like Bill Murray.” 
You frown. “That’s ridiculous. How can you not like Ghostbusters?” 
“I love Ghostbusters.” 
“How can you like Ghostbusters but not Bill Murray?” 
“Because I like the concept more than I like him,” he says. “I love Halloween.” 
You shake your head and move on. “Who put these together?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Gideon? Or maybe some random BAU office worker.” 
“It’s an interesting compilation.” You look up at him again. “How about Dirty Dancing?” 
“No.” 
“No reasoning?”
“I don’t feel like dealing with a musical right now,” he says. 
“So you choose to deprive me of Patrick Swayze,” you tut. You grab one movie out of the back and hold it up. “If I put on Goodfellas, will you interrupt every five seconds with facts?”
“...I can push it back to every thirty seconds,” he says. 
“Five minutes,” you say. 
“One minute.” 
“Two.” 
“One forty-five?” 
“Two—take it or leave it.” 
“Technically I have all the power here,” Spencer says. “I can talk nonstop about anything. Putting down a movie narrows that down.” 
“...One fifty.” 
He nods, and you huff a disbelieving laugh as you put the DVD in the player. 
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re ridiculous?” 
“A lot,” he says as he sits down on the couch. “I usually get insufferable or weird or annoying, though. So ridiculous isn’t too bad.” 
“Well, you’re certainly something.” 
“That’s also not too bad,” he says. “I could even take it as a compliment.”
You sigh and pick up the remote before you sit back down. You look up at the clock on the wall and bite back a curse. 
“It’s only been ten minutes,” you mutter. 
“Ten minutes and thirty-four seconds, actually,” Spencer says. “Did you know that Scorsese actually cast real mobsters as extras? The cast members were told ahead of time so they could show the necessary respect to them while they were on set. There’s a whole mafia hierarchy, and only full-blooded Italians—”
“I haven’t even gotten to the start screen,” you interrupt in disbelief. 
Spencer shrugs. “You said every minute and fifty seconds. Not how long I could go on for.” 
You let out another sigh as he continues on. You bet Spencer could probably recite the whole movie from memory if you asked, but you honestly don’t know if you could take that. 
There’s one plus, at least. When you’ve got a human encyclopedia next to you that can spout off whatever information he wants any time he wants, you think you’re gonna have a hard time thinking too much about your stalker. 
You look over at Spencer when you finally make it to the opening scene, still talking but now about the different crime families in the United States. His eyebrows are surprisingly animated when he talks, going up and down depending on his inflection, and you find yourself thinking that it’s charming. 
It’s annoying how pretty he is, and it’s annoying how annoying he is. 
You look away. 
This is going to be a very long lockdown.
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lxnarphase · 5 months
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Imagine a street dog/stray dog Toji hybrid
CAN WE MAKE OUT !!!!! CAN WE. MAKE OUT !!!! i LOVE UR BRAIN
listen listen listen ok??
stray dog!toji that left his old home because the family he used to be with just. turned out to be shitty to him, getting some damn cat hybrid that they ended up pampering and prioritizing over him. the main reason they even had toji was for protection purposes, but he was over it after they yelled at him for something that damn cat did
after that, he had been making it work to the best of his ability but he wont lie, it was definitely exhausting. those damn shelters would always prioritize the softer looking hybrids because 'he was tough, he'd be able to figure it out' and he'd be damned if he joined a rehabilitation program. he was in one when he was younger and he was not suffering through that ever again
so cut to present day, about a year and a half since he's been on his own, right?? and eventually he gives in, tired of dealing with all the bullshit he does and ends up applying for the rehabilitation program and he finds out its...actually a lot better ever since new people took over
after some stupid interviews that felt like a waste of time, he's placed with...you. some tiny thing that is surely gonna be scared shitless of him. yet you arent. it's weird, you're weird.
you're nice to him.
when he shows up to your home, a cozy lil place away from the city (he likes it...a lot, its calming) he realizes that he doesn't have much on him, just a few things in a backpack. but you fucking figured out what size he was in clothes and shoes and bought him things (you got him a damn heated blanket...he just got here and he already felt like a lil king).
hell, you even turned your guest room into a comfy space for the guy.
he's so fucking confused by you, you dont make any sense. but what really gets him? is when you present him with some...tiny, purple bunny plushy. he huffs when he looks at it, taking it from you.
"what the hell's this thing?"
"it's a bunny! i made it myself!"
"..."
"i know you probably went through a lot, so i made you something for comfort. i put lavender scent beads in it so it smells nice and calming too."
he doesn't say anything, just holds the thing in his hands. you...you made this. for him. because you wanted him to feel comforted.
...
you hear the faint noise of fabric moving and notice his tail is starting to wag behind him, and he knows it is. theres a cute lil blush on his face as he tries to make it stop but the more he glares at the dumb little bunny plush the harder his tail wags.
"...thanks."
"ehehe, welcome home, toji."
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