#theres a lot here so this is about to be interesting

[spookberry]

i know this pic is pretty old and canon may have changed since then but do you have a more hd version of the lineup of the color guardian generations over the years? its from 2022 on your deviantart but dA compressed it! id love to hear about the older teams, like anita's first squad

You mean this thing??

Honestly the other teams aren't super relevant outside of a few characters and I like the idea of leaving it vague enough that there could've been even more guardians embetween the ones here.

But yeah I can tell you a little about everyone!

-Anita was one of if not the first Color Guardians. She was actually very close to her Green specifically. They were Best Friends even before becoming Color Guardians(this leads to conflicts with Rin later because Anita tends to compare the two). Their group wasn't around for very long, no one knew the stakes or how serious everything was back then... That is until one colorless attack that ended with Robin dead and Anita having disappeared with a spark of light. Robin was cheerful and kind. Seeing him die left a bad mark on his teammates that they haven't let go of to this day.

-because of her disappearance Anita was assumed dead too. Both by Layla, the police and even her own family. Octavia showed up on the scene shortly afterwards. She never knew Robin or Anita, but Layla's trauma and the fact that it was just them two for the longest time left a deep impact on Octavia.

-Even after Octavia outgrew her role as Blue, she still worried for the next generation. She made a point to track down the next Blue to as soon as she could in order to teach him everything she knew. She's an adult now and teaches self defense classes to the general public, but also special classes for Guardians specifically. All the Blues have met her, and Chiyo even introduced her to Kimi so Kimi could get better at fighting. Layla wants nothing to do with the newer guardians, so Octavia avoids bringing them up, but the two do check in with one another still.

-The teams are generally organized by which Blue is active, because theres always an active Blue. I labeled him Remi up there but I eventually renamed him Russell, he's the second Blue. Much like Octavia, he spent most his time as part of a Duo, up until she was killed in the line of action. It was only near the end of his career as Blue that Nia and Charun became Colors. Nia met Sue a couple of times and can remember her fondly, but Charun never met her.

-Dimitri is also an interesting character. The only other Pink that anyones aware of, he was an active antagonist for most of his time. He often got in the way on purpose and would sometimes help colorless out just to see what would happen. With the power of friendship and gay tension he eventually turned a new leaf. Though not before Russell hit him with a car(they're married now).

-Marcy and Nia are the most relevant past Guardians to the modern group. Marcy has a tough start as Blue. Everyone on the team had been a Guardian longer than she had and already expected her to fill the leadership role that Russell had. Not to mention the youngest and littlest Guardian Veronica appeared right after Marcy. It was a lot of pressure to say the least. But the four of them developed a pretty intense bond cuz of it. Unfortunately much like the others, Marcy's time as Blue did not end without tragedy. There was a really hard fight once that they almost lost. Charun and Nia got hurt really bad to the point where Charun outright rejected being Green(a painful process) and now hardly speaks to any of them outside of the occasional pesters from Nia. Nia herself was already disabled, but the fight has made it harder to manage. She always knew the physical stress of being Red would have negative impacts on her but she doesnt regret her time as Red nor does she regret any of the choices she made during that time. Marcy broke a leg as well during this which permanently ended her dance career.

-More on Nia actually, she was always the heart of her group, encouraging everyone to keep face no matter what. Even after it all she still continues to push her friends forward and check in with all of them. Her younger sibling, Benny, looks up to her a lot, his Guardian form mimicking hers in many ways.

-The only one who came out unscathed physically was Veronica, though having watched the emotional fall out made her wary of teaming up with any of the Guardians outside of Benny for a while. Benny's a simp too so he follows her lead on everything.

-Marcy's only 20 when she meets Chiyo but immediately takes it upon herself to support and take care of the new team in a mentor-y role. The way Russell did for her and Octavia for Russell. This usually turns into more of an emotional support role than being active on the field. (She's had to talk Chiyo through her crush drama SO many times). Marcy isn't that much older, but when you're 15 but 20 seems pretty mature in comparison. Due to her own angst about what happened to her last group too Marcy tends to put a lot of the pressure of being The Adult for them onto herself. (no anita you dont count as an adult)

-Anita was gone for approximately 15 years mind you, so the teams are pretty spread out with the occasional overlapping member. She hasn't gone to see Layla yet since coming back to the right time. She's scared of all thats changed during her time trapped in the timestream tbh.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

what if we've missed some major Eddie foreshadowing???

What if we all followed the red herring and missed a massive clue the show has given us about Eddies arc?! I'm going back to season 7 - 7x05 to be exact and the conversation Eddie has with Marisol when he gets back from Bucks.

The scene plays out like this;

Marisol: I should have told you, about the nun thing. Eddie: Why didn't you? Marisol: Because no man has ever looked at me the same after he found out. There's two types of guys, the ones that get freaked out by it and the ones who get a little too into it. Eddie: Maybe theres a third? The kind of guy who just needs a minute. Marisol: You don't need to slow walk it. If you're not ready for this... Eddie: Yeah. I don't think I am. Yet. so here's something you don't know about me. This moving too fast. I do it a lot. I just go with my gut and let my head catch up later.

Obviously the literal meaning is obvious - the reality of relationships as experienced when something that has been kept secret is revealed. The meaning of the words said can be taken at face value but thats doesn't have to be the only meaning and fandom explored the subtext.

Now I don't think our theorising about the subtext of Eddies storyline in that episode and that scene being about catholic guilt and it setting up Eddie's reckoning with the catholic faith is wrong - I think it very much is about that. But what if there is a second subtextual meaning hidden underneath the catholic guilt and the set up for a catholic faith arc. One that is part of that catholic faith and Eddie arc, but is also its own thing separate from it?!

I know I always read those lines and the idea of a third guy being a play on the idea of people falling into three categories - religious, agnostic or atheist. The third guy being the agnostic as it sits in the middle of that spectrum. Eddie sees himself as catholic and therefore religious. Even though he is lapsed and therefore agnostic is something he hasn't really grasped about himself because he hasn't needed to. until now.

The conversation preceding the Eddie-Marisol conversation above is also really key for this scene - because it sets up the idea of a third way. There is plenty of subtext and metaphors in that scene - Eddie not wanting to go home is a metaphor for the house of god - the church. Eddie at this point in the scene thinks his only options are to go home - to religion - to be fully practicing, or to not return at all - become atheist. Buck revealing he and Tommy were on a date is a metaphor for the third way - agnostic.

This is still a valid way to view the meaning of the scene and sets up Eddies arc for the rest of the season and going into season 8 really well.

But...

The Eddie - Marisol conversation takes place immediately after Eddie’s chat with Buck - when Buck comes out as bi and Eddie says nothing is going to change between them. A loaded line that make it clear that things have already changed between them and that they will continue to do so.

What if it’s also a metaphor for sex in a more literal sense.

'The ones who get a little too into it' are the ones who enjoy and have sex regularly (we're shown and told that is who Marisol is in this episode multiple times) - we'll use hypersexual as the term here

'the ones who get freaked out by it' are not interested in/ don't want or need sex and don't have it - are ace.

Those are the only two guys Marisol describes and that is key. It is Eddie who suggests a third way and describes what that third way is - 'The guy who just needs a minute' - doing this means that this is who he is - he is the third way which is a metaphor for demi sexuality - needing a minute is short hand for needing a connection - needing a bit of time to build up that connection that then allows sex to become part of the conversation. It’s foreshadowing- hinting at Eddie’s demi-sexuality and setting up his s8 arc. 

Eddie also talks in that scene about really getting to know each other, that line works on all the various levels of subtext as well - Marisol gives eddie that minute and they are shown 'getting to know each other better' getting to know each other better is also a reference to the idea of Eddie seeking out religion again and getting to know that aspect better but it also plays into the idea of demi-sexual Eddie. Him getting to know himself better and not going with his gut without paying attention to his brain. Figuring out that giving himself that time to see if sexual attraction does develop - rather than starting out with sex early on and then panicking when it doesn't.

This plays into what happens later in season 7 with Kim - it gives him the parallel of Shannon - who he was friends with first - which is why he had sexual attraction to her when their friendship turned romantic. Things with Marisol are not following the same pattern - he isn't finding that connection with her. But he's still learning and figuring things out so when he comes across a doppelgänger of Shannon it allows him to test things out further on that front and not just the not being having let Shannon go of it all.

The fact we see nothing remotely sexual for Eddie in the rest of the season with Marisol, and the decision of the show to go with Eddie hugging Kim rather than kissing her along with the Adam and Eve and snake imagery we get with Kim (her hair is up in a snake knot bun) is really interesting.

Whilst the time we see him spend with Kim can be read as being dates (which is the intention and technically what they are) they can also be read another way because of the lack of romance and sex we see when it comes to Marisol. Marisol is the representation of the church - of catholicism. Kim is the opposite end of the spectrum - she is atheism which is why she has the snake knot bun and the leather outfit and also the dark lighting. she is the snake in the garden of eden tempting Eve (Eddie) to eat the apple. If they had kissed in the later scene then it would have represented him eating the apple - him not doing so means he didn't - that he resisted temptation where Eve did not. Its the play on the religious meaning, but its also a play on the sexual spectrum meaning as well - catholicism v atheism v agnostic.

Buck is very heavily connected to all of this narrative. not only because of the scene preceding the scene about three types of guy, but also because it is him Eddie drops Chris off with before he sees Kim and he is the person Eddie opens up to about Kim. He is always the middle ground. He is the representation of agnosticism in the religious subtext and demi-sexuality in the sexual subtext (what Bucks position on the sexual spectrum is is irrelevant - he represents the connection needed to feel sexual attraction in this context)

There is a third subtextual reading as well (again a subtext that is foreshadowing) - that has only become more clear as we've started season 8. They do like their threes in connection with Buck and Eddie!!

Eddie is going to reckon with/seek advice from the church - so he is going to explore his faith which sets up another 3 way situation- this time it’s the religious agnostic and atheist metaphor from a sexuality standpoint- religious = straight - heteronormative, agnostic = bi and atheist is gay - the opposite of heterosexual! 

Eddie won’t need the third way here (or maybe he will - perhaps the show is going to make Eddie Demi and bi - it would be kind of amazing rep if they did. Or maybe Eddie is going to to be Demi and bi initially because he thinks that’s what he is because of Shannon, Ana and Marisol but will ultimately figure out he’s gay when he is shunned by the church for dating a man (metaphorically speaking - it is his parents who would most likely be the representation of this!) 

I don't know how this became so long and how it went off on a tangent I didn't mean it to but here we are welcome to my brain 😂😂😂

[toaster-fire-art]

a collection of note doodles now that the semester is over

[derpycatsu]

HELLOOOOOOO i got super into vocaloid (GIANT EXPLOSION)

[sideblogdotjpeg]

ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally

(+ cropped versions !)

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Aftermath

After waking up from a ten year stasis, Gordon finds himself back in the ruins of Black Mesa.

Notes: Hi half life fandom this is my first fic posted for HL. Also this is the first reveal of my HL au: Aftermath! So thats pretty neato, anyway hope you enjoy this short little prologue thing

Blackness was all he saw; darkness for miles, with pure nothingness filling the gaps. He couldn’t feel, see, or hear, and even trying to think of a single thing was proving to be a greater challenge than he’d expect. His thoughts blurred together into a sludge of meaningless ramblings, leaving him unable to process where he was, or how he got here. He had vague memories flashing in his mind, glimpses of concrete corridors and alien fauna. It was maddeningly barren, with the silence being enough to drive a man mad. How much time has passed since he arrived here? Has it been seconds? Days?  Time itself felt nonexistent at that very moment, simply a construct that meant nothing in this place. It felt as if he was in a dream, trapped in his own head as he traversed his own subconsciousness, floating in a vague void, unable to act or react to anything that could possibly be in there. He all but gave up hope of escaping this dark Hell he had found himself in, until he felt himself being pulled by an invisible force, and abruptly, there was light.

Gordon’s senses came back to him as fast as a train crash, the feeling of barely healed fractures and lacerations coming back to him as his nerves fired. Ringing flooded his hearing, with the HEV’s computer voice, an artificial voice he came to despise, sounding muffled and making it hard to process any of the words being said to him. He couldn’t move, his limbs feeling as if they were being pinned down by a massive weight, as if he was on the bottom of the ocean. The numbing pain shot up his legs and arms, though despite his wishes, there was no way he could even scream, with his throat tight and his vocal cords useless. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, with the weakness draped across his body making even that menial action nearly impossible. He began to wonder if the infinite void he was in before would be better than reality, with the idea of feeling nothing rather than feeling everything to a painful degree seeming like a better option than what he was forced to bear.

As he laid on the rubble, he began to hear something new past the waning ringing; footsteps approaching him. Gordon desperately wanted to move, to protect himself from the new danger, yet as much as he tried, his limbs refused to budge. Soon he realized it was multiple sets of footfall coming near, and soon, he began to make out a voice.

The words slurred together in his mind, making the message hard to decipher, but a few words cut clearer than others:

“Breathing. Freeman. Alive. Help. Out.”

Gordon felt his limp body being moved, raised from the ground by someone, or something, being dragged across the concrete floor to somewhere else. Despite his foggy mind, Gordon couldn’t help but consider the worst; Xen creatures dragging him elsewhere to slaughter him as he did to them, and Military personnel taking him somewhere to question, torture, or even execute him were among the possibilities his short-circuting mind had come up with. However, before he could even do anything to try and prevent whatever fate might befall him, he felt himself drifting off, falling unconscious yet again.

He slowly stirred awake once again to hear the sound of an engine running and tires rolling across a gravel road. He was almost afraid to open his eyes, yet when he gained the strength to do so, his eyelids opened and he took a brief glimpse around. Through his blurred vision, he saw he was in the backseat of some sort of vehicle, laid across the seats. His metal HEV pressed against his body awkwardly, making any movement he could make uncomfortable. His head was supported with a wadded-up hoodie, and his body was covered by a thin blanket that had been thrown onto him. It was strange to see simple kindness extended to him, though he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a trick to make him let his guard down. He glanced towards the front seats, seeing the back of the drivers head, but not who was in the passenger seat. They were speaking to one another, but yet again the words fell out of Gordon’s grasp. He felt himself beginning to drift off again, and despite his wishes to stay awake, he grew limp as he fell unconscious yet again.

When Gordon next woke up, he was greeted with cold air around him. As he was pulled out of unconsciousness, he began to hear rhythmic beeping beside him; something he immediately recognized as a heart monitor. Gordon felt as if a weight was taken off of him, and when he gained the strength to open his eyes again, he saw the reason why. His HEV suit was missing, and he was instead wearing a pale blue hospital gown from what he could gather. He was laying in a bed, with its stiff mattress, albeit uncomfortable, feeling like heaven compared to laying on the cold concrete floors of Black Mesa. He saw bandages covering parts of his body, old blood seeping into them. Past his bed however, he could barely make out anything, with everything being blurry and hard to make out. He must have lost his glasses somewhere, but it was the least of his worries as the pain began to seep in. 

All his limbs felt sore, making it hard to move a single finger. His leg had a throbbing pain in his knee, and he felt as if he was being slashed with knives whenever he attempted to move his arms. His heart felt heavy and his lungs stinged with every breath. When was the last time he took a break to breathe? It felt like the days worth of fighting for his life hit him all at once, making him feel nearly paralyzed, and too tired to do anything to fight it. He began to wonder if it was best to be asleep; at least he wouldn’t have to think or feel. He began to wonder how he got here, racking his brain to try and bring up any clue of what had happened. The last thing he remembered before he woke up was being knee-deep in what he could assume was blood, staring up at something…he couldn’t even begin to describe. He killed the thing keeping the portal between earth and the border world open, so why did he feel so…empty? It felt as though his accomplishment meant nothing, as if he was missing something deep inside. He closed his eyes, attempting to fetch his blotted out memories for a shred of explanation, all before he shot his eyes open, a single image returning to his consciousness.

The man.

Gordon’s memories became clear as day when he remembered the man in the dull, navy blue suit. He remembered its unnaturally piercing eyes, staring deep into Gordon’s very being as if it was examining his very soul and regrets. He remembered its face, with it looking aged, yet it felt ageless at the same time. He remembered the unnatural way it stood, as if it was being held up with strings. He recalled the way it spoke to him as if it never spoke in its entire life before that very moment. He never got its name or its motivations, but something about remembering the man and its almost human facade caused his heart to skip a beat. Paranoia crept up in his mind, and the feeling of being watched began to be overwhelming. Something wasn’t right, as if something he didn’t see was coming after him. He needed to get out of here before it arrived.

Gordon forced his arms to move as he sat up in his bed, wincing before he turned to step out of bed, clasping the side of it with one of his shaking hands. As soon as he put weight on his leg, however, he collapsed onto the linoleum floor, ripping his IV out of his arm in the process. He let out a small squeak; the closest he physically could get to a scream, a pathetic noise that reminded him just how helpless he truly was at this moment. He pushed himself up as much as he could, arms shaking at the exertion, but he couldn’t get back onto his feet. As he tried to get off of the floor in vain, the door to the room opened, and a person appeared in the doorway. It was a nurse, coming into the room only to be greeted by Gordon unsuccessfully escaping his bed. She appeared surprised, immediately approaching him to help with getting him back onto the bed, despite his best tries to escape her grasp. She said a few things to try and comfort him, but Gordon couldn’t process the words before she quickly left the room, coming back with another doctor, presumably for help.

Gordon hated the fact he was back in the bed, with a new IV being attached and bandages being replaced. He wasn’t sure when the next threat would rear its head, and he needed to be prepared for when it did. Yet, he was all but incapable of doing anything of use, and he had to accept it. He could barely even move, less shoot a gun or swing a weapon at anything. 

“Dr. Freeman?”

Gordon was surprised to finally make out what someone was saying, looking up at the doctor who had just finished reattaching his IV. 

“You’re lucky to be alive,” He stated, almost smiling slightly. It was unclear if it was to try and make light of the situation or if it was relief. “Even more lucky to be awake right now. Though please, don’t try getting up again, alright? You might reopen stitches.”

Gordon stared at the doctor’s face blankly before leaning back and staring at the ceiling as the doctor continued talking.

“A couple of scavengers found you back at the ruins of Black Mesa, or, at least that's their story. You’ll have to speak with the police about the entire situation.” the doctor continued, “The Vortigaunt said you were lucky to be found in there, apparently had to drag you out of there.”

Gordon’s brows furrowed, not recognizing the word “Vortigaunt” despite the doctor bringing it up so casually. He looked back at the doctor with a puzzled look on his face. 

“I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you’re alive,” The doctor chuckled, trying to make light of the situation despite Gordon not reciprocating the cheerful atmosphere. “You’ve been gone for a long time, so a lot of us thought you would never return.”

Gordon’s puzzled expression turned to a look of borderline anger, wanting to ask so many questions but being unable to; he didn’t even know if the doctor knew sign language, and he didn’t have paper to write on, that is if he had the strength to hold a pencil.

“You look…upset,” The doctor said, his smile fading, “I can understand why, but if it brings you any comfort, you have hundreds of thousands of people who were wishing for your return. You’re a hero, you know.”

Gordon doubted that sentiment.

“We…believe you were in a coma, sir,” The doctor glanced at his nurse, as if he wanted help breaking the news, “...one that lasted ten years, so you're...lucky to be alive at all.”

The doctor continued to explain the situation, claiming that Gordon was lucky to have his brain still functioning despite being asleep for that long, but the words went through one ear and out the other. Gordon didn’t process the doctor trying to speak to him, only staring into the wall behind him as he leaned back in his bed. He didn’t even blink once as reality seemed to become meaningless, dissociating as his brain wouldn’t even allow him to process the time lost. To him, he was gone for a few mere moments, but an entire decade had passed in the time it took him to escape the void he was in for a brief, yet agonizing time. He wondered if his friends had forgotten about him, if they were even alive after the Resonance Cascade; they almost certainly believed he was dead at the very least. Gordon had been dead to the world for so long, he felt surprised anyone came to rescue him at all. After all, who would rescue the man who caused so much death in the span of a few days? Was he supposed to go back into normal society after everything? Was he supposed to be praised as a hero, despite the fact he was just a lowly scientist who just wanted to survive?

Gordon wished to go back to sleep. Being awake felt more agonizing than the temporary stasis ever did.

[cjaus]

porky minch my beloved, i hate you, youre so beautiful, i want to kill you with a metal pipe,

[howlonomy]

A somewhat heavy question, but if Clover was the only one to come back how do they feel about that? More importantly how do they feel about Asgore? I'd imagine that they of all people want Asgore to answer for the others (especially given the likelihood that they... didn't give their SOULS willingly ( on that note how is Asgore not in prison))

survivors guilt baby!!!! of course they’re happy to be back (they didn’t really want to die in the first place, no matter how many times they said they wanted to) but they cant help but feel bad for the previous fallen kids. the whole reason they went down there was to save them, and clover was the only one that could come back. its not like it’s they’re fault, they didnt KNOW or ASK to come back, but they just cant help feeling guilty.

they’ll always feel a little bitter that asgore didnt get any repercussions for what he did. they could never interact with asgore without remembering. i think if they had a long, solid conversation, clover could understand asgore a bit more, but they would definitely think asgore a coward for everything.

[avephelis]

hey guys remember how jayson ferin would've been like 19 when jay was born and like 16 when ava was born. i don't really. have anything to add to that. just felt like saying it.

[wewerebornsextuplets]

more kiru-related foolishness based on @awittlebabbyboy and @brofightiscancelled's postgrad plan au. this may be a bit ooc but i think ichi would start acting more like his housewife friends when faced with someone a little younger than him

[sevenines]

ive never seen this before. what the fuck. why? "you can make your gay wedding as long as the queer character isn't the leader anymore. the boy has to be the leader." what??

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

[skitskatdacat63]

This is a special genre of f1 picture(to ME.)

[holmsister]

Kinda gets me when people age them down in AUs and stuff because to me those characters wouldn't be half as interesting if Chilchuck, Senshi and Mithrun were the tallman equivalent of in their twenties

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

[gwensy]

sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment