#theres a job i want so bad but im not going to get a car in time so i guess hope it comes up again

[shadyhouse]

making a new post bc the other one is pretty bulky, im about to be severely overdrafted when i pay my rent in a few days and i really really really cant let that happen :( pls if you have anything to spare i'd appreciate it, im in the process of finding a new job because my current one refuses to give me hours. im transmasc and i dont have a car so finding a job has been difficult but im doing everything i can to make ends meet. even just spreading this around helps

pp: paypal.me/bewearrr

vnm: tobias_leviathan

thank you 🥺💕

90/450

[kudae]

,

[yelloworangesoda]

i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing

[violentdevotion]

i love your actimel fridge posting keep it up

:D thank you !!!! Its more full than usual right now because the other day i went shop and got some and today my brother went to get groceries and my mum told him to get me some actimel while he was there so for at least the next 2 weeks i should be good on actimel !!!!

[ouroboobos]

trying to make it to the college IT department today for help with my application wish me so much luck

[shmalk]

141 is filled with alphas, not a single omega in sight. there are a few betas, but they're either low-ranking or transfers that were never going to last.

like you! (beta!reader) who works at reception and takes calls, scans badges and is the first point of contact for the task force.

none of them know your name, none of them even speak to you - maybe price, when you transfer a call to him, he'll mumble a thank you. or even laswell, when you bring her a coffee.

it's nothing, really, you don't mind.

only, one day, a totally normal friday, you've done the exact same style in your hair you always have, and you're wearing more clothes than you were yesterday.

price wants a coffee, sure- you make it, just the way he likes, and head towards his office. you knock, and wait a few seconds until you hear 'come in.'

the office is silent, it usually is - but this time there's more than just price inside.

they're finishing up just as you enter, soap and gaz sitting in front of the desk whilst ghost leant against the back wall.

"my apologies, captain." your voice isn't exactly quiet - why should it be, you've done nothing wrong, but its still respectful. price just nods as you place the cup down on his desk.

"thanks, that's all." he dismisses everyone in the room, and you wait for the boys to file out before you do, soap and gaz both giving you a cheeky smile.

ghost is the one to hold open the door, standing just adjacent to the doorway with his arm sprawled against it. its a heavy door, and you swallow as you pass him.

"thank you," you all but mumble out as you rush past him - straight into the break room.

you can't help but rant about the situation to your roommate whilst you're packing up your things, your phone tucked between your jaw and shoulder.

"i mean- he held the door open for me and i couldn't even look him in the eye to say thank you!" you stress, throwing your bag into your passenger seat before leaning back against your car. "god, all i wan't right now is a plate of sushi and some boba."

"too bad its pizza night, dweeb."

"thats not fair! i could loose my job, i should be allowed to eat my comfort food when im stressed out."

you stress about it over the whole weekend, and when you return back to work on monday you try to act as casual as possible. of course, you don't see ghost - price doesn't order a coffee, and youre break time comes around quicker than you expected.

you had brought- oh, theres- your favourite sushi, and a boba drink sitting where your food was supposed to be. in somewhat messy hand writing, on a small piece of paper, theres your name.

signed ' s. riley. '

i am a sucker for sweet lil moments like this !!

in my head i think that simon would like a beta, or an alpha, but in this lil snippet (which is CERTAINLY getting turned into a fic) he's big and broad and gets worried when he's with alphas because they can't think straight, he tells them what to do and he does it.

but you? you dont react to his scent or chase him down to get him to court you - so, of fource, he courts you. <3

[reidmania]

STILL | spencer reid

summary ; loosing based off still by niall horan. You and spencer broke up and when you see him at a bar a month later everything comes back.

warnings; this is long pure angst with a (?) happy (?) hopeful ending. imma say female reader because there so many little things that indicate that. hella miscommunication, arguing, drinking, jealous spencer, i think its a happy ending idk tbh, let me know if i missed anything

a/n ; this is 4k words. i did not intend that at all, i honestly got so insanely carried away. im so sorry.

You regretted everything, in this moment more than any other. You didn't know how you were possibly stupid enough to be dragged into going out tonight. When your coworkers approached you with the idea of going out for drinks after work as a way to celebrate your promotion, you shouldn't of let yourself get sucked in. It took some convincing till you eventually gave in, but you did -- give in.

Going home to change may not have been the best idea, since it gave you enough time to realise what you were doing and how much you really didn't want to go but you knew your coworkers wouldn't accept your cancelation. So instead you made yourself look presentable, good even.

Things had been difficult to say the least over the last month, while things at work were great, mentally everything was horribly. It had been a month since you and Spencer broke up. A month since the last time the two of you talked.

He had called a few times, but you could never bring yourself to answer despite how badly you wanted to talk to him, some night you would spend hours unable to sleep, staring at his contact, although you never went through will calling him, too scared he wouldn't answer.

Once dressed you left, calling an uber because you knew it was a bad idea to even take your car -- the whole point was to drink, and you would need to drink. As much as you loved your coworkers, you could only handle so much social interaction without liquor in your system.

Arriving, you noticed the group of your coworkers waiting for you outside. You pushed a smile to your lips as you approached them. You had many coworkers of course, but you had your bunch who you worked with closely, the ones here with you now.

Elise was your work best friend, you and her worked side by side everyday. She was the one who convinced you to come out. Ethan was another one who you worked with closely, but weren't nearly as close with. Frank was older, he was almost like the father of your job, and then there was Chelsea who was literally franks daughter, she was nice, easy to get along with.

"Theres they are!!" Elise said excitedly, you appreciated the way they all dressed up. You were met with a bundle of flowers, being held out by Ethan. "We got you these, as a congrats present" He smile.

You're entire face warmed as your chest did too. You were lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who cared as much as they did. "Aw, Thank you guys." You smiled widely as you took the flowers, not knowing what you were going to do with them inside the bar -- but you figured you'd worry about that later.

You followed them inside the bar, instantly finding a table. Everything sunk into place, everyone talking and chatty after ordering drinks and a round of shots, -- it was great.

But there was something missing.

You tried not to think about it as you swirled your straw around your glass, filled with alcohol. "You look bored" You turned your head to face Elise. You pushed a soft chuckle pass your lips, shaking your head.

"Im not bored" You denied, because you weren't. You were just waiting and hoping that the pit of empitiness in your stomach would disapear so you could enjoy yourself. She frowned, "Come on, Lets go get shots" She said, offering her hand which you took gracefully.

As you walked over to the table where your coworkers were sitting at to find out if they also wanted another round of shots or not, Elise grew sidetracked, helping Chelsea out with the zipper of her dress that was breaking.

"Ill come with you" Ethan opted, making you smile gratefully as you thanked him. The two of you wandered through the bar, through the crowd of people before you finally reached the bar.

You and ethan made small talk as you waited for the bartender. When he finally came, Ethan ordered. A round of tequila shots. The bartender nodded, it was busy -- so he was doing everything fast. "I am not drinking tequila!!" You gasped as you looked at Ethan.

"Yeah you are" He smiled back.

The smile stayed on your face, "Tequila makes me sad" You said honestly. He pouted dramatically, although you can tell it was sarcastic. "Well we cant have that" He sighed just as dramatically, "I promise if you do get sad, we will make sure to cheer you up"

You smiled but couldn't help but doubt his words -- you knew what you'd get sad about, and you weren't sure anything he did would cheer you up from a sadness like that. The one you could feel in your whole body, every movement.

"Important night?" The bartender asked, as he poured the shots. You went to deny it, not wanting the attention but Ethan spoke before you could. "Yep" He said popping the P, "Pretty girl here got a promotion" He said, squeezing your shoulder softly.

You forced out a chuckle as the bartender congratulated you. Pretty girl was the nickname your coworkers had given you -- it was teasing at first and it started from Elise, but it kind of just stuck.

You got your shots and walked back through the bar holding the tray carefully, as you returned to the table you immediantly got a bad feeling in your stomach, something was off, something was wrong. You could see it in Elise's face as she looked at you.

"What?" You chuckled, furrowing your eyebrows as you placed the tray down on the table. She looked almost guilty, as she shook her head, brushing it off. "Nothing" She said, reaching out for a shot.

Your concern and confusion only grew. "What?" You asked again, there was obviously something wrong. You noticed Chelsea looking in a certain direction, the same direction Elise's eyes kept drifting over to.

Your eyebrows furrowed deeper as you turned your head to look in the direction they were, despite Elise' protests. You almost wish you listened. You felt your entire heart sink.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you locked eyes with him -- Spencer Reid. He was already looking at you when you turned your head. You stomach dropped so far you swore you could feel in in your pinky toe.

You heard your name, but you could hardly pull your eyes away from him. He looked good. So good it made your head spin in a million different directions at once. Hearing your name again you finally pulled your eyes away from his, turning your head to face Elise who had concern lacing her features.

"Oh- Gosh- Are you okay?" She rushed.

You felt like your chest had been stepped on. You didn't say anything, instead reaching for the shot glass that remained, and downing it instantly. "I need to get drunk." You muttered.

"Whos that?" Ethan asked, he wasn't quite as caught up in your love life as Elise and Chelsea were. Chelsea scoffed. "Her ex, He is an ass" She said, Elise was quick to nod in agreement. Frank stood minding his own business, but you knew he was listening, he was always listening.

"He's not" You defened, because he wasn't. If there was an ass in the breakup, it was you. You weren't sure what sucked more.

Before Chelsea or Elise could say anything you spoke first, "Can we go get more drinks-- and move closer to the bar, I think ill be going there a lot" You muttered, grabbing the boquet of flowers you had been given.

Everyone was quick to agree, taking their stuff before finding an empty table closer to the bar.

You did exactly as you thought you would -- 4 drinks later, you were a lot mor tipsy but nothing seemed to take the pressure off your chest or cool the heat that Spencer eyes left on you everytime you looked over to see him already looking.

When everyone was engrossed in coversation you excused yourself to the bar, feeling the need for another drink or ten. When you literally asked for the most alcoholic drink possible, the bartender laughed but agreed.

"Congraulations" You swore your heart dropped at the voice. Your hands froze in place and you could feel the sweat building on the back of your neck. You turned your head, finally facing him.

Your eyes ran over his features -- his hair had grown out, it looked good. You wanted to tell him that but you couldn't. "H-How do you.." You wondered how he knew about your promotion, you were sure it hadn't been posted anywhere.

He rolled his eyes, nudging his head towards the table where your coworkers sat, you turned you head to look at them, noticing Ethan's and Elise's eyes on you and Spencer. "Your boyfriend isn't exactly quiet." He muttered, there was something spiteful about the way he spoke.

You whipped your head around to face Spencer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before the realistion dawned on you -- He had heard Ethan tell the bartender about your promotion earlier. "He isn't my boyfriend--Why do you even care." You huffed.

Spencer scoffed quietly, "Yeah Im sure, The flowers and 'pretty girl' really prove that" His tone was laced with jealously. He was jealous. You shook your head as you pulled your eyes away from his face. "It's been a month" He muttered, quieter.

You frowned at the mention at how long it had been since the two of you broke up. "I am well aware of how long its been" You held back from calling him Spence, it was like muscle memory. "The flowers were from all of them" You defended, although there was no reason you needed to defend nor explain yourself to him. "And pretty girl- its a joke-- they all call me that." You muttered.

"I called you that."

His tone still held so much jealously but sounded so much sadder. It made your stomach clench on nothing but the alcohol you had consumed, you turned your head to face him before looking away again, unable to handle the way his expression pulled on your heartstrings.

"I know" You said just as quietly.

The bartender handed you your drink with an apology of how long it took -- you hadn't even noticed. Drink now in your hands yet you couldn't find it in yourself to move. You could smell Spencer's cologne and it was consuming your senses and making your mind fog.

Spencer ordered his own drink after the bartender asked, before he turned to look at you again. "I called." He said.

You wanted to cry-- you wanted to sink into the pit in your stomach and stay there forever. You felt yourself grow dizzy -- he made you dizzy. "I know" You said quietly, scared if you spoke any louder your voice would give out on you. it broke your heart to be standing here next to him, when he had no idea you loved him, when you had no idea if he ever loved you-- let alone if he still did.

He didn't say anything, you assumed it was because he didn't know what to say. He knew you were actively ignoring his calls-- What was there to say to that.

Spencer got handed his drink, he muttered a quiet thanks, but made no movement to leave his place next to you, you didn't either. Neither of you said anything. You felt as if your feet were glued in place -- although you weren't sure if you wanted to move either. It had been a month since you had seen him, and as much as it gutted you to think about, you didn't want to leave yet just incase this really was the last time.

"He isn't my boyfriend, he- he isn't anything more than a friend." You said again, although you didn't look at him, keeping your head down as you sipped your drink through your straw. You didn't need to push so hard for him to understand -- but the last thing you wanted was for Spencer to think you had moved on that quick, it almost offended you that he genuinely believed you did.

He opened his mouth to reply, but felt a hand on his back, cutting him off. He looked behind him to see Derek. "What's taking so long, Reid" He asked, a teasing smile on his face. You looked behind you at the sound of his voice, meeting his eyes his smile fell slightly as he realised what was taking Spencer so long.

"Hi derek" You pushed a smile to his lips - of course Spencer was here with his team, you should've realised that. They probably just got back from a case, which explained Spencer's business attire, but he wore that more often then not anyways.

"Hey!! How are you doing!" He smiled back, opening his arms to hug you gently. It was friendly a simple. You were close with a lot of Spencer's friends and team, being his plus one to everything for months. Penelope had reached out after you and Spencer broke up, but just like with Spencer you couldn't bring yourself to reply.

"Im okay, how are you?" You asked. You could feel Spencer's eyes on your face and it left a burning sensation where his eyes laid as you pulled away from Derek's hug. "Im good! We've missed you around shortcake" It was a nickname, because of a strawberry shortcake shirt you had worn one time when out with Spencer.

You just smiled in response. You missed them too, a lot. They were your friends, and you hated how you lost that and Spencer all at once, but they were his friends first. "I'll leave you guys be." You muttered, forcing a smile to your lips as you avoided Spencer's gaze, pushing off the bar.

Spencer said your name and it made your head spin, it felt so natural falling from his lips, like it belonged there. If you had to pick only one person to say your name for the rest of your life, it would be Spencer.

You kept walking none the less, holding your drink in your hand as you approached the table. You put it down gently as Chelsea and Elise were instantly at your side, asking what happened or if you were okay.

"I think Im going to go home" You muttered as you felt the all familiar tingle in the bridge of your nose, matching the lump in your throat and burn in the back of your eyes. It was too much.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Frank asked, the fatherily instincts coming into play when he noticed the look on your face -- there was no convincing you to stay. You just shook your head, "Im okay, Thank you" You muttered, as you began grabbing your stuff.

"I'll walk you out" Ethan offered, but you were quick to shake your head. You didn't need to look to know Spencer's eyes were on you from across the bar, the last thing you wanted was to only deepen his concern by leaving with Ethan. "I really just want to be alone." You said, pushing a half hearted smile to your lips, he frowned but nodded.

You said your goodbyes before pushing through the people in the bar towards the door. Once outside, it dawned on you how hot you were, the cold air giving your flushed cheeks a cooling sensation. You dragged your hand over your face as you tried to process what had just happened without bursting into tears.

You opened the uber app on your phone, wanting to get home to wallow in every emotion you had been pushing down for the last month. You should've known tonight was going to end badly.

"Theres been over 3,900 cases of sexual assult or physical violence from ubers"

You turned your head to see Spencer standing at the door to the bar, not far from you but not close. The street wasn't busy, it was dark and only lit by the streetlights.

"Thats less than one percent" You muttered, pulling your gaze away from him. "Who said I was getting an uber?" You asked, despite the fact that you were, it baffled you how he seemed to know everything all the time.

"You're alone, I cant see your car anywhere and the app is open on your phone" He said as if it was nothing. He was a profiler for godsake, of course he picked up on the tiniest things.

You sighed, closing your phone you placed it in your bag, "So what?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest - now that the heat had somewhat worn off the cold air was leaving goosebumps over your arms.

"So, let me drive you home." He said.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him, shaking your head. "No. Its fine. I think I can handle less than one percent" You muttered, turning away from him again when the heat began rising to your cheeks again under his gaze.

You could hardly handle standing a foot away from him, you doubted you would be able to last a ten minute drive back to your house in the car next to him, you were sure the tension would suffocate you within seconds.

"Why do you do that" He asked taking a step closer to you. You were already resting with your back against the wall, there was no where for you to back away to even if you wanted to. You furrowed your eyebrows as you met his eyes, he looked sad.

"Do what?" You asked as your voice hitched, the pit in your stomach only deepening the more you looked at him, the closer he got the tighter your chest grew, the more he spoke the more your cheeks heated.

He sighed, "Push me away!" He raised his voice slightly, not in a way of anger but pure frustration. He was so frustrated.

"I don- We broke up Spencer" You reminded.

He rolled his eyes, "I know that. Trust me I know that." He muttered under his breath as he got closer to you. "You did it our entire relationship, pushed me away, held back, and then you broke up with me, why do you do that?" He said, brows furrowed as he genuinely tried to understand.

"You know why we broke up" You muttered quietly.

He threw his arms up in distress. "No- I really don't-" He said, before dragging his hand through his hair, only making it messy. You frowned, shaking your head as you reminded him. "We were both busy -- we hardly saw each other, our heads were in different places" your voice raised to the same level as his

"My head was with you!" He shook his head, "My head was always with you!" He sighed, he wasn't shouting, not really, but it was loud enough to match your level.

Your lips parted but you didn't have anything to say. Your head was spinning at the intensity of the coversation, at him -- so close, his cologne and after shave making your stomach feel sickly.

"I thought-" You ran your hand over your face as tears brimmed your eyes.

"You thought, you didn't ask me-- you just- broke up with me" He was shouting now. You genuinely thought your heart had fallen out of your chest. "You pushed me away, and then left like it meant nothing, like it all meant nothing." His voice was breaking with every word as his voice rasied

"It didn't- i didn't think it meant nothing" You were shouting too, and tears ran down your face -- you were unable to help it, each drop hotter and heavier than the last.

"Just be honest, I just- I just need you to be honest, please" He was on the verge of tears himself, and you hated it. You hated the way his voice was breaking, the way his hand was grabbing his shirt, pressing against his chest as if this conversation was bringing him physical pain-- like it was to you.

"You want me to be honest?" You asked, you were now the one stepping closer to him, you were the one shouting -- not out of anger, but you couldn't better express the way this conversation was all consuming every part of your body, your mind, your stomach, your chest.

"I love you Spencer" Your voice cracked as the words came out, "I love you so much, it hurts. It physically hurts when you are gone, when I was spending everyday worrying you weren't going to come home, I love you so much that I thought me worrying about you was unfair because you love what you do, and I was constantly in the way of that. I love you so much that i thought if i broke up with you, you'd be happier -- I thought the how much I loved you would stop hurting." you were practiclly sobbing, you would have been embarassed if you mind was able to focus on anything other than the boy in front of you.

"It didn't, its actually gotten worse because everyday I wake up and your not there, and I still worry about you just as much -- more, i worry about you more. Everyday I wake up and im completely heartbroken. God everyday I wake up and Im still inlove with you, " You continued on your tangent, "I love you so much Spencer"

You didn't even have time to breath before you felt cold hands on either side of your face and the feeling of his lips on yours, you could taste the alcohol on his lips. It was familiar and safe and warm. Your hands found their way to his face, pulling him in closer to you. The kiss was messy and passionate and everything you had missed so much, it was the sort of kiss that made every thought in your brain disapear, it made your knees feel weak and your toes curl in your way to uncomfortable shoes.

You tried to pull away but his lips chased yours, bring you back into him and you didn't make any movement, only kissing him back until you ran out of air, feeling lightheaded. You stepped out of his grasp as you tried to regain balance.

"Ill teach, its not an issue i've wanted to teach, god ill stop working all together if it means you'll come back" He said out of breath, eyes never leaving yours. You opened your mouth but he cut you off. "I love you, I've loved you since the day that I met you." he was huffing out words as he stepped back closer to you, invading your space and you couldn't complain.

"I don't- I don't want you to have to do that, you love working." you said breathlessly, shaking your head. You didn't want your relationship to mean him stop doing what he loved.

"I want you" He said, voice cracking. "I love my job but I love you." He said it like he couldn't get enough of finally saying it. "I'll work it out so you can come everytime we have a case, please I love you" He was begging.

"What does this mean Spence" You said, heart beating out of your chest. He just shook his head. "Who cares! I love you, You love me. I will do anything, just.. stay - let me stay." He said, grabbing your hand.

"I love you" You repeated.

"I love you" He said back.

"Where do we go from here?" You ask, looking up at him with squinted eyes, you were sure your makeup was a mess, and you looked horrible but there was so much love and hope in Spencer's eyes you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

"Let me drive you home." He said. You knew that meant it was the beggining. You knew he meant that he didn't know but he wanted to try. He was begging and there was no way you were going to let him go again.

"Okay."

[kingshovelbug]

Hii what is your best advice to younger adults trying to make it independently and make a living? In art, savings or anything you think of. Thank you in advance!

dont be too hard on yourself. its tough out there right now in regards to like everything regardless of what old people say. also this is going to be a lot so im slapping a read more on here

⭐️ first thing id recommend for anyone is to start figuring out a budget. figure out how much youre making monthly. keep all your food receipts for a month or two to see what youre spending on food. find out what youre paying for thats necessary like utilities and whats not

the goal for a budget (or at least mine) is to find a good balance of earning vs spending. im paying off my credit card right now because i ran through all my savings after we had to move last year but my goal used to be to save 1/4 of what i earned after bills and putting money into an emergency fund (usually an emergency fund is 3 months worth of expenses). but it depends on how much you can comfortably put away. if you can put more away do it. but if you never spend money and deprive yourself of joy youre going to burn yourself out regardless of what your job is

⭐️ if youre not already buy store brand for as much shit as you can. if its an ingredient i promise as someone who cooks and bakes you probably wont notice the difference. if its an actual snack it depends. again both from a money perspective and to boycott pro-isreal companies we get a lot of snacks from aldis and theyre awesome. i dont miss anything from mars, oreos etc when i have my chocolate coconut wafers

⭐️ if you have any subscriptions and you need to get rid of something you can probably cancel them. for *most* things theres some kind of free alternative. but again just like with a budget. there are going to be some subscriptions that make your life easier and while youd save money without them it would lead to extra work and burning out. ex willow has kofi gold because it has really cool extra features that help with running the shop. but for streaming services? im going to be so honest. both to save money and with how cheeky streaming companies (in a bad way) have been getting… you can find whatever you want to watch online for free

if you need to use anything from the microsoft office suite, but youre not required by youre job to specifically use microsoft, libreoffice is a free alternative that i actually like better. its what i use to help willow run their shop and its free

for art programs. if you still have photoshop switch. not just for money reasons. adobe is getting bold with what they can claim as their content and use from what people produce in their program. the switch isnt the easiest but there are a bunch of alternatives. some free some like csp offer one time licenses which are so much better than subscriptions. will has spent almost $2k on photoshop and after effects from using it as long as they have. when csp is $50 and they like csp better anyways. i also know of krita and fire alpaca which are free

⭐️ also theres stuff about being an adult that i thought you had to pay for but you dont? like for car insurance i went through an independent insurance agent and they found me a cheaper plan than i could find myself. i didnt pay the guy. they get a cut from the insurance company for finding them another customer. some banks or credit cards offer financial advising sessions to users. its boring but if you can get a copy of your health insurance see if they have any free shit on there thats available for you. my brother gets free doctor finding? like i can call them, tell them what specialist he needs and instead of me calling around to find one that can take him, they connect me with someone. my work offers 3 free therapy sessions (better than nothing) and free food that i take advantage of

⭐️ i think one of the biggest things that makes an impact for us is researching before buying stuff. sounds like a no brainer but you dont just want to find the cheapest deal. you want to find the best bargain, the best bang for your buck. whats the best quality thing you can get that you can also afford? itll prevent your from having to replace stuff all the time and by extension spending more than you need to. we have nonstick pots and pans that are scratched and starting to peel (which apparently can cause cancer??) that were cheap because of being on sale. now after looking into what makes quality cookware i know i should of just slowly bought stainless steel

⭐️ last big one. credit cards. unfortunately we need them so find one with a low apr and that offers decent cash back. use it up to like 20% of your limit and pay it off every month. focus on using it on things that will get you cash back so you can essentially get free money

im sure i could ramble more but this is already super long

[notahorseindisguise]

hi guys . just got home from work. god today was CRAZY. right as i left for work there was suddenly this massive massive thunderstorm, loud as fuck thunder and lightning everywhere and it was really scary i hate driving through normal rain as it is . i was like already running late for work and then on my phone i saw a message from someone who i literally never thought id hear from again. just fully thought i was dead to this person, and so like . it was nice to hear. but also filled me with anxiety. then i got to work and expected a really quiet shift cause we only had one booking, but then we had like a million walk ins so i was so fucking busy, but i was genuinely on my a-game, i feel like i did everything perfect i did, i did my job and most of my coworkers job really well . had a really really nice table with someone who i wanted to be friends with on it, but they left before i asked her for her instagram, but also the whole time i was working i was also overthinking everything, i was thinking about this person and how things went down and how things happened and i realised that deep down i really dont think im a good person . which is incredibly hypocritical because i dont think theres such a thing as a fully bad person. so i think im going back to therapy. and then mum texted me and asked if i could take dad to work tomorrow, (his cars broken down right now) which means ill need to be home by 8, which means the climbing session i planned on having tomorrow morning has to be pushed even earlier . it was gonna be 7 to 8 before, now it has to be 6:30 to 7:30 so i can get home in time . but its already 10:30pm so with me wakjng up at 6 theres no way im gonna get a good sleep. and then ill have to take dad to work, come home, hopefully nap and get some sleep, then go to lunch with the person i was talking about earlier, come home, try to nap some more, go to work, and hopefully throughout all that find the time to tell my mum i want to go back to therapy . so !!! theres that. anyway im gonna eat dinner now and try to sleep. you don't have to read tbis post i just .. needed to write things down

[maccreadysbaby]

Project: Killcode

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

ME 🤝 USING VALORS WINGS FOR EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION (im obsessed with it actually)

this is kinda short but everyone is having emotional breakdowns so its okay

#when asten is the okayest one in the room you know theres a problem

also QUIET PLACE AU IS OUT

part forty-eight

❝ HOMELESS ❞

THURSDAY — OCTOBER 20 — 6:58AM

WHEN BENTLEY WAS PULLED BACK INTO THE LAND OF THE LIVING, HE FELT LIKE HE'D BEEN RUN OVER BY A CAR.

The world faded into view slowly, and he could've sworn with less color than it typically had. His senses came back one by one -- the smell of something burnt, the sound of soft inhales and exhales somewhere close to him that weren't his, the feeling of a heavy, warm something laying over his shoulders.

He forced himself to sit up slightly. He was sitting on one of the couches that had haphazardly been shoved back into their rightful places in the dorm. His head had been pillowed on Asten's side, who was curled up against the armrest and dead asleep, his arms looped lazily around Bentley's shoulders. There was a blanket on top of them.

Bentley glanced around. There was still a pile of furniture at the door, though without the couches. The floor there was covered in blood and burn marks from Asten and Varian using their powers to hold off the intruders. 

Sitting directly across from him on the other couch was Valor. Varian and Koa were on either side of him, Varian's head resting on his lap, and Koa's on his left shoulder (muzzle still on), both of them soundly sleeping. His crimson wings were looped around them comfortably, sort of like built in blankets.

Bentley glanced over at the windows.

The sun was up.

He blinked a few times, rubbing at his eyes and sitting up more, causing Asten's arms to fall from around him. The movement caught Valor's attention -- his grey eyes flicked to Bentley, dull and unreadable, but he didn't say anything.

Bentley breathed in and out, asking softly: "What... time is it?"

Valor glanced over at the window, his eyes traveling across the broken curtain rods. "I don't know. Sun hasn't been up long. Six, seven?"

Bentley didn’t do anything more than hum in acknowledgment.

Bellamy was gone. Rockie was bad. They were trapped. The Secret Keeper was going to kill them all.

Maybe, if he’d actually killed her the first time, none of this would’ve happened, and Bentley’s roommates would be fine. If he had actually been able to finish the job, Bellamy wouldn’t be in the hands of people who were going to punish him, and Valor wouldn’t have lost his best friend, and none of them would’ve been kidnapped or tortured or scared or hurt.

As usual, it was all Bentley’s fault. Like it always was. Like everything bad always was.

He looked down at his hands, balling them into fists and flexing them, then glancing back up at the window.

This time, he really couldn’t do anything else to fix it. His terrible luck had driven him into a pit too deep for him to claw his way out of, like he normally managed, and he’d dragged a whole half-dozen roommates down with him.

“What happened?” He continued quietly, glancing over and catching Valor’s eyes again. “After I…”

Valor might’ve shrugged, if Koa wasn’t sleeping on his shoulder. “Not much. We shoved some furniture around so you guys could be comfortable. Got some food into Varian. Tried to get Koa’s muzzle off again and failed miserably,” Valor took a long look back out the window. “That’s about it. The doors completely unmovable, the windows won’t break. We are a hundred percent stuck.”

Bentley exhaled lightly, looking down at his hands.

They were trapped, with no way out, no way to contact anyone, and no superpowers.

Silently, Bentley just wrapped his arms around himself and laid back down, tucking himself into Asten’s side like he had been. The Brazilian stirred at the movement, bringing his arm back up and around Bentley’s neck in his sleep.

“You’re one brave son of a bitch, Bentley,”

Bentley glanced up at Valor, meeting his eyes with a questioning gaze.

“What?” Was the only response he could seem to come up with in the moment.

“You heard me,” 

Bentley shook his head. Brave? He wasn’t… he never was. He was actually always terrified — the complete opposite of brave.

“I’m not…” He muttered with a soft inhale, eyes drifting downward. “I just stood in the middle of the room like an idiot earlier while everybody else was trying to figure out what to do.”

Valor cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, was that before or after you infiltrated a base full of murderers and broke six different people out of it through sheer force of will? After being bedridden for an entire week?” He asked with an amused edge to his voice, raising a brow at him. “You’re so damn resilient it’s kind of scary.”

Bentley glanced down at his own hands. “It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I take one tiny blow and I can’t get off the floor for days. Physically andmentally.”

“But you know how to stand back up when the situation calls for it,” Valor replied, looking back out the window. “That’s a talent not a lot of people are lucky enough to have. Now, stop being so sad and accept the compliment. You deserve it.”

Bentley inhaled lightly, fiddling with his fingers. “Thanks…”

And then he realized:

“Wait, they shot you!” He stated suddenly, sitting up again. “Did anyone-“

“Don’t worry about me, Bentley. You’ve done enough of that already,” Valor replied softly, though the crimson on his wings that was also splayed across his jumpsuit and couch told Bentley that no, no one had tended to them.

“I’ll be fine,” He continued, smiling a tight-lipped, fake looking smile. “Rest.”

“Valor-“

“Bentley, it’s okay. Just rest, alright?” He said, glancing at both Varian and Koa where they were sleeping. “I can’t exactly move right now anyways.”

Bentley, with a soft sigh, forced himself to lay back down, tugging Asten’s arm back over himself gently.

He listened to all four of his roommates pulses until he fell asleep again, trying really hard not to think about the two heartbeats that were missing.

—

Bentley hummed sleepily when Asten moved next to him.

“Sorry, B. Go back to sleep,” He mumbled softly. Bentley was laying on the warm couch cushions now, the blanket that had been over the both of them now only draped over his shoulders. He felt Asten’s hand smooth over his hair once as he spoke, threatening to send him directly back into a peaceful slumber, but he fought it in favor of peeling his eyes open.

He wasn’t sure how long it’d been, but the sun was still up. Valor was gone, and his bedroom door closed, leaving Varian and Koa sleeping sprawled on the couch opposite him.

Bentley pushed himself until he was sitting up, rubbing at his eyes with one of his hands. “How are you feeling now?”

“You’ve been awake for three seconds and you’re already checking on me,” Asten snickered, apparently abandoning whatever he’d been getting up to do, because he sat back on the couch next to him. His green eyes were dull in a way Bentley hadn’t seen in a long, long time. “Better. Not freezing anymore. What about you?”

Bentley shrugged, glancing down at his hands. “Less exhausted… in some ways. And more in others, I guess…”

Asten smiled a little split second grin full of pity and something sad. It didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s not your fault, y’know…”

Bentley turned his head away, glancing over at the pile of furniture near the door just to keep from meeting Asten’s eyes. If he did, he just knew he’d start crying, and he had done quite enough of that recently.

“Okay,” Was what he said. He didn’t know what else to say.

Asten’s hand found his back and rubbed it lightly, and Bentley clenched his jaw, forcing himself to think about anything else.

Then, luckily, a muted voice came from behind Valor’s door: “Ah, shit.”

Bentley glanced up at it, then over at Asten, who was looking at the door, too.

Distractions — perfect.

Bentley pushed himself onto his feet before Asten even had the chance, striding across the room to the bedroom door. Without thinking twice, he lifted his hand and knocked lightly, desperate to get away from whatever cold and mean thing was trying to weasel its way into his head and make him into the same little unmovable puddle of despair he had been earlier.

“Come in,”

Bentley slowly pushed the door open.

The bunk beds had been haphazardly shoved back into the room, though not exactly in the same place they were before. Valor was standing next to the bathroom door with his back to Bentley. He was wearing a hoodie and sweats now, his hair and wings a little wet like he’d recently showered. 

The feathers were now tinted slightly pink instead of full-blown crimson like they had been. Bentley could see several places where feathers had been mangled and lost among the platinum — it looked like Valor was finally doing a mediocre job at dealing with the gunshots. He had first aid stuff spread across the counter, and the sink was full of bloody toilet paper.

Bentley stepped inside and closed the door softly, suddenly unsure of what to say.

“Hey — will you come spray this on here?” Valor questioned, holding a spray bottle in Bentley’s direction with a funny brand name on the front.  

Bentley, relieved that he didn’t have to come up with what to say, walked over to him, taking the bottle out of his hands it looked to be some type of antibiotic. (Bentley had never even thought about spraying medicine on wings. But he guessed it was kinda hard to put bandaids and bandages on them.)

“I can’t reach the back of my wings,” He continued, turning so his wings were facing him.

Bentley, with a shrug, just took a minute to spray whatever medicine spray across the back of Valor’s wings, being sure to do a little more where the feathers were gone.

Valor twitched a few times (because maybe it burned, Bentley guessed?) but neither of them ever spoke.

He exhaled heavily once he was fairly sure he’d done a good job. “Okay.”

Valor turned on his heel, taking the bottle from his hands with a quick: “Thanks.”

And they didn’t say anything else.

Bentley stayed quiet as Valor went back into their bathroom, putting away several first aid products and supplies he had sitting around the counter and sink. He seemed more… Bentley didn’t know. Fumbly than usual? He dropped a couple things while he was cleaning up and it was only after he’d been in the bedroom for a few minutes that he realized Valor wasn’t really looking at him, either.

Bentley tapped his hands on his pants. “Valor?”

“Hm?” He was quick to hum, still shoving stuff under their sink. The mirror was still broken, and it might not have bothered Bentley so much if it weren’t Rockie who’d broken it.

He sighed lightly, glancing down at his hands. “…Are you okay?”

Valor stood back up and closed the cabinet doors, inhaling heavily and rubbing a hand across his forehead. Then he leaned forward, resting his hands on the edges of the sink with a long exhale. “What the hell am I gonna do, Bentley?”

Bentley didn’t say anything, but watched him closely. The way his grey eyes lingered on the bowl of the sink way too closely.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go. If… when Redwood gets shut down,” He explained quietly, shaking his head. “I don’t have a family, I don’t have a home. The only other place I’ve ever actually lived was an illegal fight club.”

Bentley blinked twice, glancing down at his hands. He promptly remembered what Charlie had said, about his wings being tied. Was he forced to fight like that?

“Is the fight club… where Enzo was from?” Bentley asked softly.

Valor’s eyes flicked over to him with a sudden sense of urgency, something… different surfacing in his grey irises. His wings twitched on his back in a way that kinda made Bentley regret saying anything, tucking in and sort of curling uncomfortably around him, almost like a shield, or some attempt at comfort.

“What?” He asked, his voice eerily soft.

“I… you… were talking. When you were knocked out at the facility, you… said his name,” Bentley stammered. “…I’m sorry, I…”

Bentley trailed off, very excruciatingly and suddenly aware that he had crossed some sort of line.

Valor didn’t say anything. His gaze just sort of fell and traveled back to the bowl of the sink. Bentley stayed silent.

He just sort of stood there awkwardly, not knowing whether to leave or stay, to speak or not. He never seemed to know what to do anymore.

Valor brought one of his hands up to his eyes, wiping away some wetness Bentley hadn’t seen until then, and it made him feel really bad. And he did it again, and again and again until Bentley realized that he was really just crying.

Well shit.

He hiccuped lightly, non-stop wiping the tears away in an attempt to make them leave all together. “Jesus. Sorry, Bentley.”

Bentley didn’t say anything, but took a step forward. Every single means of comfort that had ever been used on him seemed to flee from his mind at that moment, and he stood there dumbly, feeling like an absolute trash can of a human being.

Eventually, he stepped forward. “Valor…”

Valor glanced over at him with watery red-rimmed eyes, wiping every tear off before they dared fall down his face. 

Bentley outstretched his arms, one to either side, sort of diagonally. “Do this.”

Valor looked up at him with a sort of unreadable expression, still wiping at his eyes. And then he seemed to remember. “Bentley…”

“Please?”

For a moment, they both looked at each other.

Without saying anything at all, Valor grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Bentley was shocked, for a moment, but then he sank into the embrace like a sad little wet cat.

For a long time, they stayed like that. Valor was dead silent, but by the way he was trembling slightly and the slight dampness of Bentley’s right shoulder let him know that he was still crying. His wings came forward and looped around them both seemingly on their own.

“Rockie was all I had for a long time…” He muttered softly, after a while. “And now…”

“You have us,” Bentley replied, trying his best to sound like he was smiling, though he was anything but. It was taking every single ounce of willpower inside of his body not to cry, too; so much so it had been his sole focus for nearly the entire time he’d been in the bedroom.

“This is so fucked up,” Valor mumbled, his voice close to Bentley’s ear. “Once we find a way out of this dorm, I’m gonna burn this shit to the ground.”

Bentley didn’t say anything, but just sort of stood there and kinda rubbed Valor’s back.

He was right. This was so fucked up.

--

tag list that KINDA works lmao

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun

@xiaonothere

@skylathescholarly @flyrobinflyy @bookwarm0-0

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[superdeluxeaverage]

n just thinking abt the whole shittyness of my whole friendship w/ them n how i tried to ride it out with them when theyd treat me shittily and blame it on stuff they were going thru and tell me that they rly valued me as a friend and hoped we could continue to be friends n then continue to consistently ghost me like monthly and then fall on the same excuses anytime id bring up to them how i felt abt the dynamic of our friendship and how theyd do this super fucking weird in hindsight thing where theyd always go on mini-rants abt ppl need to get therapists and stop using their friends to vent about all their troubles and then immediately start venting to me about all the shit they were going thru with their real friends so that would like put me in a weird situation where id listen to their problems but feel guilty about even considering talking about mines and once i did eventually tell them about my moms then drinking problem (b4 it got real real apparently bad but where it was still something that made me uncomfortable) and they just recommended me a therapist lol. I dont kno if i have a place for them in my heart truly like im sure they tell everyone they know that im a huge loser and a weirdo clingy person or whatever and i kno one of their friends def thinks im a huge loser and was prob just waiting for them to cut me out so they could stop tolerating me but like hypothetically if they did actually reach out and apologize i wonder what id do knowing we shared music interests n stuff like idk that scares me i really especially with my job have been aware of how much of a pushover i am and how unhealthy that is to let ppl walk all over me as if its no problem n then for me to go to pieces when it obv doesnt lead me anywhere but like i wonder if id ever forgive them if they did reach out idk. my whole situation with my mom and how i never forgave her and now well do have a positive relationship with her i dont wanna be a completely unforgiving person cause i kno u have to forgive to be a good person and obviously u have to draw a line to live ur life healthily but idk where that line belongs for me with the way i act like im no big deal with not much goin on. i think abt them and that theyre in their way a beautiful person but i dont think they ever respected me as an equal. i dont kno what id say to them if i had to talk to them i fantasize abt being rude and concise with my words but in reality i dont kno what id say. maybe just that i was hurt. because i was. ive matured a lot since then in ways they would consider maturity (having a job driving a car dressing better) and ways id consider maturity (comfortable with my isolation or perceived isolation, not being so codependent on relationships, greater confidence in musical abilities and musical interests, dressing better) that id wonder how things would go if i was in a situation where i had to talk to them. but mostly it just makes me sad thinking abt it but a mature kind of sad not moping about it or having it eat me up but just like idk u look at adulthood and see how ppl u thought were mature cause they had things u didnt/dont (friends/friend group, driving ability, job) turn out to be more childish than u thought. like where im at now rly things look different looking back theres less envy of wanting to go back and glancing at their face when they came to where i work two days ago i could rly see the weakness and childishness in their face in a way. like looking back im glad i moved forward cause im sure theyre in the same place with the same problems while im in a very great place and have a genuine confidence with who i am as a person

[moonlightviigil]

SORRY IVE DIED

There has been SO MUCH happening back to back in my personal life and im just... so tired

i moved out of my mom's house last year to get away from a very stressful situation, and then immediately thrusted into yet ANOTHER stressful situation with my current roommate.

granted, i don't blame them for getting injured at work, but what i don't appreciate at all is that they pretty much stopped looking for work. its been about three months now that they don't have a job. leaving me to pay for full rent, my own car payments, food, gas, etc. all by myself. mind you, i work a shit minimum wage job, ALSO partially physically disabled myself... yet im still able to do what i need to do for the both of us.

they left me for two weeks without telling me, leaving me to take care of their cats, which is fine... if i was told anything. but nope. im not making money here at all since i have to spend it all on their rent and my own stuff.

it stresses me out because im the one doing the main cleaning of the place and working, while they have done nothing but play games, get high, and go over to their partners houses.

we have had a discussion about this, and it turned into me being the bad guy. they claim that (in their words, not mine) "no one wants to hire the adhd cripple."

them knowing fully well that this is the shit i wanted to get away from when i was living with my father, so i didnt have to take care of a grown ass adult who is fully capable of doing things, moved out, moved in with them to take care of their crumbling relationship with their ex, and now back to the 24/7 maid and wallet.

ive tried to talk to them about how this makes me feel, but i guess im in the wrong because they have a fucked up back and cant do anything... but they can. they feel good enough to go to their partners place... so whats stopping them from getting a job.

so just for my own sanity, im going to be making plans on moving back in with my mom so i can help her out since she got majorly fucked over by my father. i can at least have my own freedom back when i go back since my father moved out.

theres so much more on my plate that i havent mentioned. but its whatever. im just so tired of being everyones fucking maid

[b0ard1ngsch00l]

(boss crush anon) thanks :D i'll start with context, im 28 and hes 48..funnily enough i had a dream recently where i was back in high school and he was my teacher LOL, thought that was relevant. ive had this crush for a few months now and have been writing about every little interaction i have with him. one of your posts that rly spoke to me was "i want to mean something to him", bc girl no joke ive written that exact sentiment about him before. every time i talk to him feels special, i get a legit high thinking about seeing him every day. hes so painfully handsome and nice to me, sometimes when he sees me his whole face just lights up and he gives me this HUGE smile. hes also the only person i work with who calls me by a shortened version of my name <3 one of my other coworkers even noticed that he did that and i was like 0///0 yeah he has a nickname for me so what?

there was an after-work happy hour that i went to once, i brought a friend and asked her to watch how he acted around me bc he can be hard for me to read sometimes, i cant see his behavior objectively when i have so much wishful thinking going on lol. she told me later that when we walked in, he made a beeline straight for me right away, and seemed sorta shy when talking to me. she asked how i was doing at my job (i was new at the time) and he said something like "shes awesome! every day that shes here is a great day!" and my face mustve been beet red..he kept showing up in our conversations with other people and standing near me, something ive noticed he does a lot in group situations. just recently, we had an premiere with lots of people and since i was on the clock i was standing by myself in the back of the room, watching in case someone needed anything. fr he comes over and stands RIGHT next to me. there was no one else around that area, he chose to stand right beside me while we watched the premiere.

he was out of the office for a whole week once (work related reasons) and i angsted so hard..not seeing him on weekends is bad enough but this was like 10 days and i was going feral. we followed each other on instagram after that happy hour and during that week he was gone he randomly liked one of my posts late at night. i have to wonder if he was missing me too..the next day he came by my work area to ask "whats new?", like he just wanted to catch up after being away which i thought was sweet. yesterday he was teasing me about hiding some of our work halloween decorations in my car to scare me (cute lol), today he was showing me how to tape a package with a confusing tape dispenser and our hands brushed multiple times while handing the tape back and forth, and god only knows whatll happen tomorrow!!

hes so wonderful and i rly want to know more about him, i want to be around him constantly and any time i get with him is instant dopamine. hes intoxicating and i feel selfish wishing he'd break a million rules for me (boss/employee relations, 20 year age gap, and yeah you guessed it hes also married) but i just cant help myself......im not planning on making a move bc i love my job too much to risk getting fired for that, but if HE did you know id reciprocate in an instant. but im glad to just know him even if things remain the same as they are forever, as much as i wish theyd escalate. THANK YOU for letting me get this all out of my system, theres even more i could say but this is long enough lol. have an amazing day, G <333333333

This was very enjoyable to read thank you! The way you both are seems sooo cute! I’m so glad you can relate to me <33 I so get you, and everything you’re feeling yk. It’s hard being obsessed with middle aged men who deep down you know you can’t have😭 but also there’s no other feeling like it and it’s kinda the best! Any time you need to rant about him I’d love to hear!💕

[fallish]

i will absoluely take this baton, thank you for tagging @fairlylokai 🥰

1 ) do you make your bed? the truth is i tried for a while and i still do try occasionally but a majority of the time it ends up with me sleeping on top of a comforter because my brain cant put together the effort to pull it back and actually get in. im going to go with no (despite the state of my very made bed that i am currently sitting on at the time of this post)

2 ) what's your favourite number? two-way tie between 58 and 87. iykyk ;)

3 ) what is your job? im a software developer, its kinda a boring title but im getting good at it!

4 ) If you could go back to school would you? it really depends on the day you ask me this one. like generally? fuck no, it was hell on my adhd. on a particularly self destructive day? yeah and i might finish a college application before deciding to sleep on any major life decisions (and then i wont do it! 10pm rule that shit!)

5 ) can you parallel park? yes! i used to be the only one of my friends who could but i live on a street with only parallel parking and i think theyre getting better at it :D

6 ) a job you had that would surprise people? i used to be a camp counselor for one summer! everyone used to always tell me id be bad with kids because i didnt really like them, and i actually tried failing this interview but i guess they needed people, so i got the job. i got on swell with the kids! uh. not so much with the other adults tho. i accidentally made the ice tea spiked at the end of the summer and needless to say i was not invited back. i look back on it fondly :)

7 ) do you think aliens are real? of course. its unthinkable that humans are the only ones around in the whole universe. as they say, life finds a way

8 ) can you drive a manual car? nope. dated a guy who did once, and im ngl i was kinda into it, but i never learned myself.

9 ) what's your guilty pleasure? k pop photo cards 🙈 while I agree that guilt is for the weak, I do think I spend an unreasonable amount of money on those

10 ) tattoos? not yet, but ive got plans. my mom is super against them so while im at home, i cant. when i move out tho, i really want to get a set of wings in honor of ffvii (the first video game i finished)

11 ) favourite colour? i like yellow, like the mustardy kind but im partial to green and black

12 ) favourite type of music? i spend a lot of my attention on the punk/rock so like fall out boy and mayday parade and i listen to a lot of indie shit like glass animals and basement punk like the front bottoms and mobo, and recently im into kpop, particularly zerobaseone. also! i suspenct that no matter what, if i like the rhythm of the rap put in front of me, its highly likely ill enjoy it

13 ) do you like puzzles? i like puzzles so much i made it my job! one could absolutely say i like puzzles lol, me and my sister used to do them a lot and for her last birthday i got her a 10 pack.

14 ) any phobias? im not fond of men with raised voices, but on a lighter note, i wont go more than 5 feet into the ocean because i grew up in jersey on movies like jaws that made me wuite scared of shark attacks

15 ) favourite childhood sport? i uh didnt play sports 🫡 i liked watching hockey though and i still watch nhl hockey now! so that might count?

16 ) do you talk to yourself? oh yeah. all the time. i cant do tasks if i dont talk myself through them. it might not be out loud all the time (i respect public spaces and the quiet associated with them) but theres a constant running monologue i promise.

17 ) what movie(s) do you adore? cheesy answer but i LOVE inception its one of my all time top 5 movies i could watch it in any mood and it would amaze me.

18 ) coffee or tea? i like both, i prefer tea, but im not allowing myself to have either right now. im trying to get myself off of caffeine again because i recently started going back to work and drinking more coffee and what do you know? my migraines made a comeback

19 ) first thing you wanted to be growing up? i wanted to be a famous singer, and sometimes i still want to make music but i dont know, i guess it got away from me at some point. i still make little singing audios and send them to my friends and my mom always says i have a nice voice so the dream stays alive :)

thanks again for tagging! im going to tag @doomcannotbethisadorable @alittlebitofrainbyyourside @sherlockholmeson and anyone who wants to do participate!!

[evansbby]

ahhh my shift was WRETCHED, so i came home and crashed, but okay so;

the dilf came in like times before, its like a diner type situation, so people come alone a lot, and he actually got sat in my section this time, and he was like lowks flirting with me the entire time, im talkin some:

me: “so did you decide on what you wanted to order”

him: “any chance youre on the menu?”

me: *giggling like a school girl cause hes so hot*

like its corny stuff but its SOOO yummy, so he was doing that and i was supposed to clock out like within the hour, and he asked about my shift and stuff, and we were just talking, and i told him when i was off, and i hoped my managers wouldnt keep me longer, and he took his TIME eating his food, like he asked for the check, and then ate so slowlu, he fs timed it so hed finish when i got off, and i told him my replacements taking over, yadda yadda yadda, and he was like “great:)” and i get off, and hes gone😞 BUT two days later, he comes in again, while im working, he ASKED for my section and i was like 😟😟😟.

so the entire time, flirting again 😼 im like actually ab to suck his dick the entire time hes there, cause holey fuckin moley, but he asks what time im off, and im like “oh like 7:45 tonight, hopefully, not any later” it was a semi busy day, and my managers must hate me, cause they always keep me WAY longer then im scheduled, so then hes like “well, i was wondering if i could take you to go eat after your off” and i STUMBLED SO BAD GUYS, i COULDNT SPEAK, i was BEING A FOOL. but i said yes! and so i ended up staying later than my shift, he came at 7:45 and i felt bad for making him wait, cause he sat on the little bench thats where the hostess stand is waiting for me, and ugh lemme tell ya. im a suxker for a man in boots. he had on a TIGHT ass black shirt, JEANS, AND BOOTS, i was salivating.

and then like i get off, i applogize for making him wait. and CHAT HE CALLED ME BABY, “its okay baby, i know you gotta work, it did get busy when i showed up” i was in complete distress, panties were wet, mouth was drooling, eyes saying fuck me at this man basically, anywho, so we go to this 24hr taco joint thats not too far from where i work, we go in his car, and he drives the NICEST chevelle 67 supersport. LEMME TELL YOU, i creamed my pants when i saw this car. but okay, so we ddint even make it inside, the parking lots dead, he parked to the side so we wernt out of view, but you really didnt bother looking over in the direction we were in.

so he MAKES A MOVE, and i am NOT denying, he like grabbed my hand cause i got this ring that really looks like an engagemnet ringa nd it fits on my ring finger but guys i swear its just a ring i found at my okd job and kept because no one claimed it. and he asked about the ring, so i tell him the story, and he startd playing with the ring, (he has big ass hands. hes like 6’.) then he like kisses my hand and im like DYING. this man is SO FINE. and he like starts kissing up my arm. and guys, im a goth girly, so my inner morticia adams is SCREAMING, and he just like grabs my head and we start making out, and it got INTENSE. we kept making out, his hand wanders, next thing ya know im riding his dick and its not like “oh hes 8 inches so girthy insane dick” nah he had the NICEST dick tho, like 6 is inches, girthy, but not insane, and it was mmmmm. but anywho theres so much more to spill so if you want moreee lmk:P

GIRL WHAT IS WITH YALL AND RUSHING OVER THE SPICY PARTS?!? 🥲🥲🥲😭😭😭 like you really edged me with this girly you did the build up so nice and detailed and then the spicy part comes and goes in like two sentences at the end 😭😭😭 EVERY SINGLE TIME BAHAHAHAH (it’s ok if you don’t wanna elaborate on that part loool im just kidding hehe)

BUT ANYWAYS BESTIE I love this for you and I love how you wrote it like you’re so funny girl the sense of humour is humouring fr!!! I LOVE THAT HE SHOT HIS SHOT RIGHT THEN AND THEREE like he came back for you and then asked you out AHHH okay miss y/n!!! Also him calling you baby is CRAZY like I would’ve also melted on the SPOT!

ALSO KISSING UP YOUR HAND AND ARM WOULDVE KILLED ME TOOOO OMFG THAT IS JUST UGH IT WOULDVE GIVEN ME BUTTERFLIES YALL ARE REALLY OUT HERE EXPERIENCED SMOOTH AF SEXY DILF MEN FR 😭😭😭 I TRULY LOVE THIS FOR YOU!

AND YOU SAY THERE IS MORE TO SPILL??? SPILLLLLL PLS BESTIE I AM DYING TO KNOW MORE!!!