#theres a bit more adult at least

[aroaessidhe]

asexual books: m/m YA

Don’t Let The Forest In - ace mlm MC

Wren Martin Ruins It All - ace mlm MC

A Song of Salvation - 2/3 MCs are mlm and demi

The Spy With The Red Balloon - 1/2 MC is gay & demi

The Witch King - love interest is demi (ace girl SC too)

#aspec books / aspec database / tumblr masterpost

[mokutone]

I am so entranced by ur style it's crayzay . . . I adore how you draw Sakura and Kakashi they're so silly goofy

thank youuu!!!!!! :^D i love drawing them, especially interacting together, i think there's SUCH a wealth of possibility that kishimoto failed to exploit in his storytelling that could lead to detailing parallels between the two of them—and woudln't it be a bit fitting if she ends up being, in many ways, the one most like kakashi? the one left behind?

[measureyourlifeincake]

just took an adhd assessment and... i honestly dont see how this will be sufficient for giving me a diagnosis? i just had to take two tests, one where i had to hit the space bar when hearing a high pitch after a low pitch (as opposed to after *just* hearing the high pitch), and one where a bunch of letters flashed on the screen and i had to hit the space bar when any of them except for x popped up and like... i don't see how this has anything to do with any of the issues i actually experience in my life due to my probable adhd???? like ok i guess it has something to do with focus? which is a part of the whole adhd thing but not all of it? i did take a (very brief) adhd questionnaire as one of my intake forms before seeing this psych for the first time but that wasn't part of the assessment itself but even that (which was only like. 15 questions? maybe?) seemed like it had more to do with how i experience adhd

[itsalwaysdark]

ooo once i get my laptop back its gonna be so spreadsheet

[mbat]

kinda sad that there isnt, to my knowledge, much kids shows/movies that focus really on jewish stuff more than the one or two episodes where they talk about hannukah or someones bar/bat mitzvah, and maybe talk about some cultural food lol

like yeah its a religion but its also a culture and theres so many things about so many groups now and yet not really that one and like, when was the last time there was even a jewish protagonist in a kids show, i can think of like... one. jews are usually a main characters friend, or a side character.

honestly more than anything this just comes back to me not knowing much about my own culture and wishing id had a show that let me know about it, or even a show that would happen now that would teach people about it more than just being about the same 2 holidays/events yknow

[koushirouizumi]

@izumikoushiroweek

(For Reblog day!) {Belated} [*Though the intended pair was/Is Koushiro x Taichi, it can also be viewed as semi canon-compliant.]

(Fun fact: in the US Dub for Kyou Kara Maou!, {though it is also a heavily localized "dub"} Wolfram, one of the main leads, if not secondary main lead, is also Voiced by Mona Marshall (voice actor of Koushiro "Izzy" Izumi in US Dub!)

[Thus, some of the imagery here was meant to invoke or even lightly parallel Kyou Kara Maou and the dynamic between Yuuri and Wolfram, including within the original Light Novels version.]

(Example: There is a moment just before the final battle of Kizuna; That is meant to more specifically invoke/parallel the "I'LL fall with You" / "I finally CAUGHT YOU" line/scenes between Yuuri and Wolfram.)

Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider checking back in and watching at a later time!

Digimon Adventure/tri/Kizuna A.M.V. ~ Version #1 Featuring Duo/Ship/OTP: KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} {Music ©/from: Kyou Kara Maou! [OST]/Soundtrack} [Song Title: Hateshinaku Tooi Sora Ni (In the Infinitely Distant Sky) {OST Instrumental version}]

Original Posters’ [Mine] Commentary: I made this in about 2 and ½ hours, so it’s a bit rough on edges in a few timings (I might have to re-time those moments in a later/fixed edit)

Further original commentary/Spoiler notices under ‘read more’!

Keep reading

[wonustars]

In Front of Me (Teaser)

⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriend to lovers, angst, smut (18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: TBA (this teaser: 679) ⊹ release date: TBA

⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time. ⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, bestfriends to lovers (?), unrequted love, emotionaly stunted charcters, wonwoo has a bit of an ego, toxic!wonwoo&reader. (more tags and smut tag added to full fic when posted.) ⊹ note: im really excited to share this with you all. its not by any means done but heres a teaser for now since ive been away for so long ♡ also the teaser is not edited so pls just ignore if theres typos hehe. lov u all pls come into my ask box cuz i refuse to shut up abt this story :p.

⊹ masterlist, taglist, fic playlist.

Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo.

Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the break up, to lose feelings first, every decision was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling. 

Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up to your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been. 

Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his bestfriend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it. 

{໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১  ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆˙}

Less than fourty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence is perfectly normal, then maybe, you would eventually end up answering him. 

12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?

Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them? 

1:27 p.m.  [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁

Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond. 

2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.  [1 photo attachment] 

Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.

4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today? 

The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he had witnessed. 

4:30 p.m.  [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw. 

Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin of all people solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back. 

Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he can keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.

⊹ a/n: if u want to be apart of the taglist please fill out the form, comment or send an ask! please note that i'll only add those who have an age indicator somewhere in their blog! thank you ♡

[tinylittlebab]

hmm.

[puphoods]

ive only seen bits and pieces of what happened to predesterone, i know they got deleted (at least twice) and the ceo is making defamatory statements about them, but im genuinely confused as to where I could find this all going down. if u dont wanna gather links or whatever i get it its just that everything popped up on my dash suddenly and i want to know whats happening but i dont know how to find out

theres obviously a lot of people posting rn but ill try to get some links together to sum it up as best i can find- keep in mind i never followed her myself and only distantly knew of her so there are people closer to the situation that probably have more stuff they can tell you though, and searching her url(s) has a lot of info

avery has i think two blogs deleted yeah, unsure about any older ones but predstrogen and avewy/predesterone were both deleted very recently

predstrogen (the first blog) was allegedly deleted for "sexually explicit material" despite any posts that may have been labelled as such being marked with a community label and her blog recently being manually approved as NOT containing adult content. she also talks in this post, as well as here, about how she has had a support ticket open for several months for harassment she was receiving that has not been dealt with

this is an example of the threats and harassment she has been receiving. ive seen a few different people get this ask copy pasted

the CEO of tumblr made a post wherin he publicly aired information regarding her deletion and threatened legal action against her , showing examples of the alleged death threats where no actual threats were made and telling people in the replies to just leave if they were unhappy with the moderation of the site

avery made a post about this and her new blog was again deleted within five minutes of her making it

multiple people who have made posts about the situation have said matt has DMed them and confronted them

this is word im hearing secondhand, so if i get any details wrong please correct me, but posts of hers such as her transition timeline are apparently ones that were flagged. i cant find any screenshots but many of her posts, including one that was a silly edit of a snow leapord wearing shoes, have been completely wiped from the site. if anyone has a screenshot or link to both the original post and it being deleted i can add it to this

again there are a lot of posts going around but these are i think what you really need to know whats going on...

[butchladymaria]

not sure if you’re referring to my analysis essay, but at the risk of nudging into “make your own post” territory i do want to address your points here just for fun! this got long, so under the cut it goes —

Firstly, I do agree with the interpretation that he wouldn’t dress Doll in hunting attire. The thing is, there’s a vast ocean of nuance between “dressing doll in hunting clothes” and “dressing doll in hyperfeminine gender conforming clothes”, and Maria’s taste isn’t as mysterious as many make it out to be if you look closer at her attire. Maria’s homeland of Cainhurst allowed its citizens to be knights regardless of gender, but gave visually distinct uniforms for men and women. As you can see below, despite of the fact that she could have modeled her attire on either a masculine or feminine outfit, Maria’s hunting clothes far more closely resemble the masculine knight’s set.

I can’t speak for everyone, but when I point out how Gerhman feminizes Maria through Doll, it doesn’t really have anything to do with hunting attire vs civilian attire. I’m talking about how Maria’s garb shows that she was gender nonconforming by her own cultural standards, yet Gerhman omitted that in making Doll. Regardless of his presumed motivations, it’s inaccurate to just ignore that completely. In any case — just because we only see her hunting attire in-game, why should we assume that her masculine taste in fashion was solely the result of the hunt? I don’t think most folks imagine that other characters who dress masculine such as Gascoigne would be dolled up in a dress if not for the hunt (although it’s a great concept lol, good for him if true). It’s also not as if masculine civilian clothing doesn’t exist — plenty of corpses wear button-up shirts, waistcoats, and coats that fit the bill.

I don’t know how much canonical basis there is to prove that Gerhman “did love/care for Maria because of who she was and not what she looked like”, as in all my research there was nothing which points to that decisively one way or another. If that’s your headcanon, that’s totally cool! However, I will say this: people, especially parental/guardian figures as Gerhman was, as far as we know, to Maria, can care about a deceased loved one and still erase their GNC identities after death — and for a whole host of reasons. The specifics are a very complex issue for another day, but suffice it to say that those things aren’t mutually exclusive. The existence and memory of gnc people is complicated by a society that doesn’t want their memories preserved accurately — just look at any lgbt+ historical figure for that one.

On your point of mourning dolls — if you do look them up, you’ll actually find that they were only made for very small children, usually infants or toddlers at the oldest, and Maria was obviously well out of that age range. What’s more, other forms of mourning art were used for adults. post-mortem photography, hair art, etc were all common (and its actually a super interesting rabbit hole to go down, highly recommend). If you’re still going to claim that Doll was made as a mourning doll, it implies that Gerhman saw Maria as his daughter (which is decently in line with canon), but it also brings a whole lot of somewhat unsavory baggage along with it. To summarize: the mourning doll represents the culmination of the Victorian obsession with the inherent innocence of white children, and their emphasis on those children as paragons of untainted purity. I highly recommend you check out Eternal Innocence: the Victorian Cult of the Dead Child if you’re interested in learning more — you’ll see what I mean about that baggage being unsavory.

Either way, it directly implies that Gerhman was trying to make Maria in effigy as pure, innocent, and untainted. Maybe that’s okay on paper when it’s a baby we’re talking about, but Maria was a grown adult. Unlike an infant, she did have thoughts and opinions. It also puts the attire he chose for her in even more unflattering light — possibly implying he saw her gender nonconformity as impurity to be expunged…? Rather historically accurate, if nothing else. It gets even more uncomfortable when you consider that purity was heavily connected with obedience, dependence, and lack of personhood in this time period. The obsession with preserving purity seem in mourning dolls was the same variety that argued women did not belong in politics or the workplace lest they become “tainted” by the outside world (and protest being considered the wards and property of their husbands the same way children were of their fathers, among many other things). In other words, the infantilization of women was a key part of Victorian era misogyny that equated their “purity” to that of children — which must be preserved at any cost, even after death. Making a mourning doll of Maria would have been out of place even in Victorian times, but it only gets worse if you do follow that line of reasoning to its logical conclusion in the historical context mourning dolls come from.

To conclude, my larger point that I develop more in the essay is that it’s a bit of a lapse in logic to point to the historical existence of, for example, mourning dolls while overlooking the historical context of possession when it came to women and children that contributed immensely to their existence in the first place, and the deep prejudice that existed against GNC people at that time period as well. It isn’t accurate or logical to take a cultural and historical artifact like mourning dolls and completely remove the complex web of contextual meanings they were bound up in. I’m 100% in favor of acknowledging the historical influences of the Victorian Era on Bloodborne — in fact, I think it’s crucial to a complete understanding — but that’s a lot more complex than face-value comparisons. More broadly, I think we do Bloodborne a disservice by ignoring that broader historical context and womanhood, especially given how the themes of the game focuses on women, motherhood, and childbirth.

I saw this post the other day that I can't seem to refind, but it mentioned that when Gehrman created the doll, he makes her in the image of Maria but strips her of a lot of her non-gender conforming appearance. But if you think about it for a while, it makes a lot of sense why Gehrman wouldn't put the Doll in a hunter outfit. Because Maria being a hunter is what led to her experiencing the awful Fishing Hamlet, and eventually dying. Gehrman probably regrets ever teaching her, or letting her come along on that mission. It's also worth mentioning that he did love/care for Maria because of who she was and not what she looked like. When the Moon Presence brought the Doll to life, it didn't act or think like Maria because the Moon Presence can't just take her out of the Nightmare (or doesn't want to, but trying to analyse the actions of Great Ones will give you a headache). Also the whole Mourning Doll thing. Seriously, just look them up.

TLDR: Gehrman was a Personality man.

[biolumien]

Saw some of your Hoshina Fics and it was stellar! Absolutely fucking amazing. You don’t know how damn happy I am to see Kaiju No.8 on my page. Your writing is phenomenal.

With that in mind, would it be possible to get another Hoshina request in? Preferably a Hurt/Comfort scenario. Maybe they’d have argued or something and they’re forced to actually confront each other’s insecurities. Because we like flawed adults going through their issues ✨together✨

If you’d like a more solidified vibe, try listening to Unsweetened Lemonade by Amélie Farren. It might give you some ideas!

I hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you!! :DD

notes: thank you so much for ur kind words ;-;; wahh... i love angst,... and functional relationships.... which is why i always write relationships on the verge of collapse... also thank you for the song rec!

hemming and hawing

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader theres a bit of drinking, but nothing extreme. word count: 1834

hoshina isn’t really good at communicating. for being the vice captain of a squadron of elite soldiers, where communication was often the difference between life and death–he’s really fucking bad at communication–or at least, the kind that requires you to be personal with other people.

he’s been ignoring you for days.

you’re not even sure why, at this point. you’d thought whatever relationship you were kindling was going fine, right? you weren’t exactly sure where the two of you stood, but you liked each other plenty, right? right? 

right?

so why was hoshina ignoring you? why did he sit so far away, make constant excuses to get up and leave? what the fuck was wrong with him? every time you’d grabbed him to talk–oftentimes having to physically hold him by the arm, because he’d often keep trying to walk away from you–he’d respond with one-word answers, not quite looking at you. you’d sit at your desk, so restless that your leg would bang against the underside of the table just wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. 

were his feelings a fluke?

hell, were yours?

what the fuck had you done wrong?

had you done something wrong? had you overstepped a boundary somewhere? but then again, how could you have? how could you have overstepped a boundary if he never made clear what his boundaries were? were you insane? what the fuck were you doing? or maybe the better question to ask is was soshiro hoshina worth this amount of hemming and hawing? was it worth it to lose your mind over his stupid face, when you saw him laugh at something okonogi said, or exchange quips with ashiro? was it worth it, when you knew he used to make the same faces towards you, used to look at you with something like measured affection behind his eyes–

you slam your head so hard against your desk that you can feel it starting to bruise.

no. no matter what, you were losing your mind over soshiro hoshina, damn him! damn him!

it keeps going on like this for a couple days–you try to talk to hoshina, he shrugs you off faster than any competent sentence you could possibly string together can form, and he leaves. the rest of the third division seems to notice, too–you’ve noticed twice in a row okonogi giving you a worried look. it wasn’t a hidden secret or anything that you and hoshina got along quite well, so if even okonogi was giving you a weird look…

you’d shrug, simply, give her a smile, and ignore the raging tire fire burning under your skin.

the next time you get a moment with hoshina is during a celebration party following a successful mission. you pour yourself a healthy glass of the strongest alcohol you can manage, and chug down the entire thing in one gulp, wiping your mouth inelegantly with your sleeve. and then out of the corner of your eye–

hoshina’s watching you with a half-interested look–a look more interested and engaged with you than any other time in the past few weeks–and you think the sight of that makes you angrier–so unbelievably angry, paired with new fire from alcohol underneath. 

you turn to grab hoshina by the collar, glaring up at him–

“hey, now,” hoshina says with a light laugh. “had a little too much to drink, darling?”

darling.

oh, this fucking jackass–you think you almost see red, your teeth grinding together, and you can almost feel your lips peeling back in the facsimile of a snarl. 

“you don’t get to call me that,” you whisper, voice shaking with anger, “not after you’ve fucking blown me off for weeks, soshiro.”

hoshina’s crimson eyes open a little more, staring down at you, right where your hand tightens against his shirt. you’re lucky that the hubbub of the party is keeping everyone from staring at you, which you’re furtively grateful for. you think, that maybe you see hurt reflected in his eyes, but that’s fucking ridiculous. why does he deserve to hurt? he’s the one who fucking blew you off, who didn’t talk to you for weeks despite the two of you clearly reciprocating feelings. what did he have to hurt over? 

“i’m sorry,” hoshina mutters, and he leans forward–

“don’t fucking TOUCH me!”

your voice is louder than you’d like, and that gets a couple eyes on you.

your face feels red, and you drop hoshina’s shirt. hoshina’s eyes are still watching you, his gaze unreadable for a moment before he turns to the eyes watching you, a warm smile–a clear facade, loud and clear to you, but imperceptible to most others. you know hoshina, now–you’d watched him, studied him with intensity. he couldn’t hide from you, even if he wanted to. which made the fact he’d spent weeks ignoring you more infuriating–which made this current facade, a pretending thing–so much more infuriating.

“sorry, everyone,” hoshina says. “seems like our lovely engineer here might’ve had a little too much to drink. come on, i’ll walk you back.” he looks back down at you.

his eyes have that same strange hurt still reflected in his eyes.

something about it tears your heart across unevenly. 

“okay,” you say stupidly, and you let hoshina handle your body, swing your arm over his shoulder as he pulls you up. 

the walk back sobers you up just enough–enough to realize that you’re absolutely fucking mortified–did you seriously grab him? but the better question was why didn’t he stop you? why had he just let you yell at him? why had he looked at you like that, with hurt and something like pity in his eyes? and you couldn’t even figure out what you were more mad at–

could he have done it because he thought he deserved it? 

hoshina opens up the door to your dormitory, letting you make your way to your bed. you slumped down, pressing your back against where your bed met the wall. 

“i’ll leave you alone,” hoshina murmurs. “get some rest.”

you’re angry again, upon hearing him say that. how could a guy like him push your buttons so easily? 

“so you’re just going to leave again?” you snap. “how the fuck is that fair? that’s all you’ve been fucking doing, leaving me even though all i want is to talk.  i thought you liked me!”

you hate how your voice cracks at the end, and you raise up your legs to hug them to your chest. “i thought you fucking liked me,” you whisper. “and you won’t let me talk to you, won’t let me get close–what the fuck was the point of saying you loved me if this is what you’re going to do? it’d be so much less cruel to break my heat, just say no…”

hoshina’s silent.

way too silent.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina says, and he leans down, drops on the bed next to you–the bed sags beneath his weight, and he raises a hand to touch where your hand hugs your knees to your chest–but you move away. you hate the way you almost relish in the way he seems hurt, but he places his hand between the two of you, a mediating bridge. “you can hit me, if you want.”

“what?”

you stare at him, your gaze incredulous. 

hoshina’s gaze is painfully soft, mixed with that strange pity. as if he deserves this.

“i’d deserve it,” hoshina murmurs. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m not going to hit you!” you say. “what would the point of that be? to prove yourself that you don’t deserve love? to prove to yourself you weren’t good enough? even though this is all your fault–”

hoshina’s gaze flickers at your words.

“that’s it, isn’t it? all part of your weird complex where you deny yourself things that you want!” you lean forward, reaching out to grasp him by the shirt. “so i was just fucking collateral damage to you?” you tumble for a moment, pushing him flat onto his back. he looks up at you, his lips parted for a moment. you feel your grip shaking for a moment, and your vision grows blurry– your eyes burn with tears as you shake. “i told you i knew what i wanted, you fucking idiot! i wanted you! i still want you!”

through blurred vision, you can see your tears dripping onto hoshina’s face–and hoshina just watches.

“i don’t care if you don’t think you’re not good enough,” you say through a choked sob. “you’ve always been more than good enough to me. do you get that? no, actually. you didn’t–because if you did you would have just talked to me like a normal fucking person!” you laugh desperately, crazily, almost–you feel fucking crazed. “and i’ve been driving myself mad! because of you!”

hoshina raises a hand to touch your cheek.

“take some fucking responsibility,” you rasp, tugging at his shirt. “take some responsibility for this! for what you’ve done to me!”

what a horrible thing love was.

your heart feels like it’s on fire, burned and scorched earth.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina repeats, simply. “you’re right.”

he leans up to press his forehead against yours, and you tremble.

“i was scared,” hoshina whispers. “that the things i’d said to kafka and the others–that you’d never know when you’d lose the people you love–that it’d come true. i was determined to shut myself out–make myself unknown again. i couldn’t–cross the boundary. to let myself have love. or anything like it. not from you.”

he sighs, gently nudging you to let him up. he leans close to you, presses his head against the wall to watch you. his gaze–this exact gaze, you’ve missed it. missed the way he watched you, with brimming fondness–and yet here you can see so clearly that there’s desperate pain in his eyes–bubbling and brimming just underneath the surface.

“i was struck by how much i wanted it. love. you. all of this. and i was scared because it could all just disappear so quickly,” hoshina continues. his hand touches your face, and you let that calloused touch, the familiar touch against your cheekbone, the bridge of your nose, your upper lip. “i didn’t–want to lose it. so i figured i could’ve just been happy with a little.”

“you fucking idiot,” you whisper in venomous response.

“yeah.” hoshina doesn’t deny it.

“i’ll give it to you,” you respond. “love. no matter how much you think you don’t deserve it. you don’t even have to ask.”

when hoshina looks at you again, he seems almost fractured at the possibility of it.

“i know,” he murmurs. 

“i love you,” you say, and your voice trembles for a moment. “you fucking awful piece of shit.”

hoshina laughs weakly.

“i deserve that,” he murmurs. “but i love you. i promise i do.”

you shake your head. 

“i know that,” you say. you reach out a hand to touch his face, and you can feel the smile forming on his face.

“okay,” he murmurs. “okay.”

[onlyrains]

BLIND DATE & TRUTH

pairing: park sunghoon x reader | genre: slight angst, enemies to lovers (?) (not really) | wc: 1.8k | warning: sunghoon as former figure skater, mention of bully, lmk if theres more a/n: def not my best but let me know if you want a part 2! it's longer than usual, hope you don't mind it ;)

if you only could choose one thing to hate with your whole heart, that must be the time when you liked park sunghoon.

—maybe liked is an understatement. you literally idolized him… adored him… and you loved him.

you hate the fact that you had loved him for the longest time to the point where you gaslight yourself to not knowing him at all, when his ridiculously perfect face is engraved in your memory.

you used to watch all his figure skating performances on any channel you could find on the internet. you even have his schedule on your mind while he was literally your groupmate in chemistry and english literature. you knew how many medals he got—and which competition they were from—when you acted oblivious to anything in front of him. you were basically a fool.

and he thoughts so too.

the whole thing ended when he found out you were a big fan of his. his friend even spreaded a fake rumor that you had his photos all over your bedroom walls for a very inappropriate reason. the worst part was he didn't even ask you for any explanation. he refused when you tried to hit him up and let the school mock you for the rest of your year in high school. he ruined your high school days.

and a couple weeks ago, your mom suddenly begged you to go on a blind date with her friend's child. you were a bit surprised, but as an adult now, you tried to handle it in a very mature way. you managed to make her promise to let you live on your own after you attend this date. you had no choice when she finally agreed.

and today is the day. you're just a few meters away from your date and you have your mom massaging your shoulder to loosen up a bit.

���don't forget about your promise, mom.” you say before let out a long sigh from your mouth. seeing his back facing you makes it ten times more chilling then it already is. you rarely speak to someone with such a romantic intention and now here you are, on a blind date your mom forcefully encourages you to go on.

“don't worry, honey. now, shoot your shot.” you snort at her words. somehow feeling a knot forming in your chest after staring at his back for a second, quite suffocating.

your sweaty fist glued on your hips before you take a confident step towards his table. heart pounding out of nervousness, in contrast with the quiet atmosphere of the restaurant.

“hello, are—” your words hanging mid sentence. your breath stuck in your throat as he looked up to you and gave the same reaction.

there he is. the park sunghoon—adult version of park sunghoon—and more muscular version.

you squint at the prior spot of you and your mom stood. she's gone. “oh?—nevermind. i might just go.”

you don't even hesitate to walk away through the exit door but his replies make you halt halfway. “or maybe you shouldn't,” his gaze fixated on you with raised eyebrows.

“i know you're surprised—well, me too. but i think we have a bigger business to do today, don't we?”

“what do you mean?” your jaw clenched.

“i have a deal about this meetings. aren't you too?”

you roll your eyes remembering the freedom you always dreamed of.

i'm free today. i'm free today. i'm free today. you repeat the phrase like a mantra in your head.

“have a sit, please?” sunghoon voiced again and you obey him.

“well, how are you?” he asked, stacking one leg on top of the other.

you feel like throwing up. honestly, seeing his face this close is your nightmare to say at least. hearing him ask how you are is the biggest bullshit you've ever heard in your entire life. he doesn't seem like he carries guilt like you do with shame and embarrassment.

“how could my mom know your parents?” you ask sternly.

“c'mon, relax, miss. it's not like i know how they met in college?”

“they're met in college?” you repeat.

“not so good relationship with mother, eh?”

you frown. how could you love someone like him? a high schooler is indeed so stupid.

“what do you want?”

“me? eat. i'll have my lunch here.”

“sunghoon, i'm ser—”

“so you remembered my name.” an amusement painted on his face. “i thought you hated me that much.”

“i shouldn't forget people who ruined my teenage self, right?” you almost let your impulse win to leave from his sight in a heartbeat.

“yeah, that is right.”

“your order, sir,” a waiter arrived and placed two plates of pasta on your table. sunghoon take a glance at how it paused your movement.

“hope you're a fan of pasta too,” he said as the waiter finished filling his drink.

you hiss at the fact that your mom friends with his parent. why should it be him? out of all men in the world, why him? you really dressed so nice for this meetings to respect your date thinking this might be first and last time you met each other and now you regret it with all your heart. you don't need to look this fine for him. he doesn't deserve it.

“the food here is too good to be thrown out, y/n. dig in.”

your gaze still on him, hoping your sharp eyes leave a cut on his nose so he knows how much you hate him.

“have a bite. i ain't going nowhere. you can stare at me as much as you want.”

your grip on the fork tightens. he glances at your white knuckles calmly before opens his mouth. “see, i have an important deal after this meeting, y/n. we need to make this end smoothly.”

“we? so your deal depends on me?” you ask, his chewing slowed down.

he shrugs. “it wasn't like i knew i'd be meeting you and put everything on your hand. my deal is still depends on me. don't be burdened.”

“burdened? ridiculous. i'd be happy if i take a big part, tho.” you say with a pleasant voice. “meaning i have you in a palm of my hand.”

he scoffs. “well, not that much. i'm still their child afterall.”

you raise an eyebrow. “oh, the deal is with your parent? really?” a soft chuckle escapes from your mouth. “so a twenty-seven sunghoon is still begging things from his parents? where were the ace park sunghoon in high school? bet people oblivious about him being a loser now.” you swear your heart has never been so relieved before.

his jaw tenses. “and bet they haven't forget about the loser y/n. now she's twenty-seven, lonely as fuck, haven't move on from high school, and still a loser.”

you laugh, don't know why his attack tickles your stomach a lot. “that's very consider of you to observe your fan too, sunghoon.” you smile, decide to face your own ashamement, to eat your own resentment you keep for years. “i didn't know if any former figure skater do that too.”

he gulps at the reminder. it's been years since the last time since he heard the word ‘former figure skater’ being thrown to his face. that was years ago since he gave up on everything. that was years ago since he finally agreed to take a place in the company his family owns. that was years ago since he felt less stressed and had the freedom for the last time.

and you lightly bring it up after the effort he gave to bury everything down. he is indignant.

he reaches for your hand to hold it firmly. “better use that mouth for something more useful, y/n.”

“better treat me nicely for your own sake, park sunghoon.”

“you too, y/n. whatever deals that made you show up here won't end well if you keep acting like this. so shut your pretty mouth up and finish your food.” his low voice echoing your eardrums, sending chills down to your spine. the jazzy music in the background got silenced by his tensioned growl.

you slightly flinch on your chair. the air is getting hotter and the knot in your chest feels a little bit too throttling. did you cross the line? was that too mean? or is he just a temperamental jerk?

you swallow the lumps in your throat and take a sip of your white wine. “is it about your family?” you ask after mustering up courage. the mere thoughts about the deal possibly involving you are so bothersome.

he looks up with a glare that could punch a hole in your face. “you care now?” he took a mouthful.

“i'm not. just make sure that's nothing to do with me.” you are still indecisive about whether wanting to demolished him slowly or forget everything that happened today and continue your work-oriented life as usual.

he rubbed his hair with his palm frustratedly. “it is not, okay?” he sighs. “see, this is why they never liked you, y/n. you always only care about yourself. you're too self-centered. it was because of you. not me. i didn't even do anything back then.”

your breath ragged. “exactly! you've done nothing! you knew it was all a lie yet you've done nothing! you let them ruined my life, sunghoon.”

a couple pairs of eyes starting to turn to your table.

“i spent the last year of my high school in full horror. and that's because of—”

“i didn't! i've done everything i could but they were just too caught up with the story! they didn't want a fact, they wanted a new target!”

your breath hitch. almost sobbing right away from the overwhelming emotion you feel. you just hide it for too long and maybe today is indeed your free day. you want to let all your feelings show in front of him.

“then i left for the national championship,” he adds, with a lower voice. “that was my last chance. they sent me to the training center for months and i tried to do anything but training. my mind was so full of you but i was basically isolated from the outer world.” his buff shoulder drooped. a guilt written on his face.

a tear fall down your cheek.

“and i didn't make it to be a national athlete, y/n. i didn't. and i couldn't see you after graduation because i was too busy to convince myself that it wasn't your fault. it really wasn't.”

you broke into tears, your hand spontaneously covered your face. this is too much to process. you need a whole week to absorb everything you just heard.

that was nonsense, right? you can't be hating a wrong person after all this time.

you heard him stand from his chair and walk away. that's fine, you think. he has all the rights. he can leave you alone with your gorgeous red dress that hugged your body perfectly in such a nice fancy restaurant. yes, he can. he absolutely can.

your phone rings with the custom ringtone you chose specifically for notifications from your mom.

“let's go, y/n. my mom waits for you.”

[xanticore]

Can you do a Lars ulrich fic where the reader is part of it can you do a dominant submissive relationship kinks where Lars is dominant and the girl or whoever is a submissive also the as well smut??

Back in 1984 in the hotel room???

I hope you enjoy anon! I don't like going straight into smut so yeah..it's a bit slow in the beginning but it gets juicy. promise.

“𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓’’

Genre: Smut

Setting: Summer of 1984 ,, New York

Warnings: Slight usage of the daddy kink (Lars gets so surprised by it) P in V, oral f receiving, pet names, and sailor mouth from Lars.

Summary: The band had finished their recording for ride the lighting. They all agreed to celebrate by hanging out at a club- getting drunk and hopefully be able to take a girl back to a hotel. Lately Lars hasn't had great experiences with the recent groupies he was with. None of them really fit his sex appeal. That all had changed when he saw a girl smoking alone.

"You gotta be fucking with me!" I blurted out before putting the phone back on the hook. A fan that goes by 'Lola' told me I'm an asshole. Maybe she's right. Only because I couldn't take how fucking horrible she was in bed. It really wasn't that great. I felt utter boredom with that chick.

"Was that Lola?" Kirk said in a teasing tone. I just huffed and rolled my eyes. "Of course it was. apparently I wasn't making her feel good, well tough world we live in because I didn't nut myself. Now we both can't have our way." I heard the other members let out a chuckle and it only made me more ticked.

For some reason, I could never find the fun girls like the others. They always had exciting fucking stories to tell about their night. Me, sometimes I either sleep alone or try to have fun with a girl that I bring back. Nobody was into anything I was. They just laid there and took it.

Im fucking 21! and I start my sex life completely shit. It's like I'm having sex with someone's grandma. Like Gross. I want some action. More interaction at least with a girl. I just wanna have fun till I can't anymore.

"Well, We did decide to hit up a club in downtown Manhattan. Maybe you'll find your girl there~" Cliff said giving me a wink. I forgot that quick we were in New York fucking city. "Oh yeah, New Yorker girls are totally hot too. Maybe you'll find that babe you're looking for." James added on.

I was now stoked for tonight. As the youngest in the band, I wanna try and have a good time and able to tell them stories. Stories that they can possibly relate to.

After being out all day, I took a quick nap in my room so I could have some energy for the rest of the night. I wanted to at least look presentable-but then got a reality check. Its a club filled with late teenagers and early twenty year olds. I just threw on a random band shirt with some black ripped jeans and some Nikes. I sprayed some cologne observing myself in the mirror.

"Come on Lars...you got this. Totally got this. We're gonna have fun and enjoy ourselves."

I talked with myself to give me some self confidence. I was full of it. Overly optimistic. I headed down to the hotel lobby where I was the last one to arrive. We had a personal driver that drove us to the top club strip of manhattan. The city lights of the ads and neon advertisements filled the night sky. It had my eyes 'glimmering' as Kirk would say.

We decided to walk along the strip instead, thanking our driver. "We'll take a cab back~" I said reassuring the driver. I saw him nod and left the van. The night life was now and all the adults were out in their club outfits walking along the sidewalk. It really had my heart racing in anticipation on how I'll end my night. Will it be good? or bad. Find out in the next episode of Lars' questionable sex life.

"Jeez, theres so many clubs. Should we just go to a typical twenty-one plus?" Kirk asked looking carefully at the signes that were out. It was different prices of alcoholic drinks during happy hour if you joind this club or that club. "No- Lets go to The Phantom." I said pointing at the bright purple neon sign. The club had a line literally wrapped around the corner of waiting club goers to get inside.

"Uhh. do you know that the Phantom is for...big shots?" Cliff asked as if he was confused.

"Uhh?? yeah. Thats why I said we should go there. Come on, I think we're big enough of a shot to party with the top class people." I said borderline excitedly, but still kept my cool.

"Ok but, we didn't even dress the part?" Kirk and James added in unison. I just sighed.

"Who gives a shit? Like come on it's a club. its gonna be dark. No one is gonna care about what we wear. Now get your asses over there."

Surprise surprise, there were people who recognized us. We did have shows in New York but it was nothing too extravagant. We were escorted to the front, showed our IDs and were in like a blink of an eye. "I guess you're right larsy~"

I just smirked at Cliff's comment. The music was pumping through its speakers and the flashing club lights were going in random directions. Everyone, dancing; and Kirk was the first one to get dragged out onto the dance floor with a girl. Cliff and James also had a pair come up to them, making me alone.

I just chuckled awkwardly looking around for somewhere to sit. All the seats at the bar was taken so that was out the picture. I didn't really care for sitting right now but I did want a drink in hand as I danced. I ordered myself a bottle of beer, taking it with me to the dance floor. Everyone had their partners but I didn't mind dancing alone having the occasional girls come and go.

Eight songs had passed already and my beer was halfway gone. I wasn't drunk but I desperately need another one to keep me occupied when i'm alone. I pushed my way through the sweaty crowd and back to the same bar. I gestured the bartender for another bottle and gave them a five dollar bill. I scanned the room to see my band mates with girls they found. I was a bit jealous to say the least.

James had two girls on him.

Cliff sharing a smoke with some biker chick.

Kirk was full on making out with someone at a vip table.

Me...at a bar on my second beer bottle with no action. It was time to mingle. I looked around for girls but every girl I saw just reminded me of fucking Lola. All the girls were just copy paste. Just when I was about to give up an leave, I see a girl alone at one of the vip tables. She was alone smoking a cigarette and drinking her drink.

Her hair was jet black and I couldn't tell what she was wearing from where I was standing. She looked hot from a far- could she be hot upclose?

I walked up towards her table- casually passing by Kirk who was still kissing mind you. I sat my beer bottle on the table causing a reaction out of her. "May I sit here?"

I asked politely..oh and by the way- she was totally my type of girl. She gave a gesture and I got in sitting across from her. "You know VIP only right?" Fuck, her voice was deep. "Yeah. What you don't think im an important person?"

"You're from Metallica aren't you?"

"I am sweetheart."

I saw her smile when I answered. She looked so shy and I couldn't really make out what she wanted. I kinda dig it. It was something new from a girl that I just met. "Well~ are you a fan- oop...speak of the devil hmm?" I asked her and just in the nick of time, one of our songs started playing.

"I'm a huge fan actually.." She confesses; tapping the cigarette ashes in the ash tray. Just by looking at her and her body language, I could tell she wasn't a groupie. She wasn't quick to ask anything about my wealth or even anything sexual. She was a genuine fan.

She made many first moves, by that I mean questions. Given her shy and quiet nature, she asked very interesting questions about the music and what's it like being famous. I never took the time to even think to myself about these things. With every questioned asked; I answered with full potential.

Being in the vip section of the club, waiters would come and go with drinks. She would get something fruity while I only had my beer. Luckily for this spot, I didn't have to pay.

"Excuse me sweetheart, I forgot to ask you your name."

"it's (name)"

"(name)? such a pretty name you got there baby. Care to join me on the dance floor?"

I gave her a wink before getting up from the booth. I walked towards her side pulling my hand out waiting for her to grab it. Her hands are so soft and pretty. Her nails were painted in a baby blue and a mood ring on her ring finger. When stood up I was almost towered. I was able to look her up and down and oh my god, she was so beautiful. From her height, her mannerisms, her features of her face-she seemed too unreal.

I manned up and guided her towards the glowing floor. It was a different song now. When Doves Cry by Prince was playing and I could clearly see little miss was a fan of him as well. All she needed was a couple more sips of her drink and baby was good to go. I watched as she mouthed the lyrics turning her back against me. I grabbed her hips helping her keep the rhythm.

I drunk a little bit more of my beer and carelessly threw it somewhere off the floor. Both of my hands touching her. She turned back around and her face was a soft color tint. We were both slightly drunk but still was able to recognize what was going on in our surroundings. I couldn't help but lay a kiss on those pretty plump lips.

It was a real pleasure feeling her kiss back. It was expected. I let her pull away and letting her continue dancing. She was teasing me and damn it I wanted her...

So i got her

The taxi ride back to my hotel felt like it was going on for hours. I opened the door to my room, I had her back against the door. I picked her up letting her legs wrapped around my waist. Our kiss was sloppy and desperate, no order was necessary.

We struggled to get our clothes off once we made it to the bedroom. I laid her down gently before taking my shirt off and letting her take off any piece of clothing she desired. She didn't have a bra on so her chest was immediately exposed to the cold air.

My lips around her hardened nipples as my other free went along to squeeze and grope her. She hummed and I enjoyed the reaction out of her but sadly it wasn't enough to my standards. I went up to her neck licking and biting the sensitive area that didn't take me long to figure out. My hands went down to her legs opening them, helping her slide her lace panties down.

I pulled away to see her now raw, naked body. She was fucking beautiful. She even had some tattoos, and a belly peircing. Fuck. My next move was to eat her alive. I saw her exposed pussy and couldn't help but smirk how wet she was. "You're glistening babydoll" I said slowly lowering myself down. My eyes locked with hers and she was shy at the fact of how I explained how needy she was. It was so fucking cute.

I let my tongue gently rub against her clit and the moans she made was what I was looking for. I continued confidently eating her out, making sure I tasted every drop of her wetness.

Hearing her whine and her fingers getting tangled in my hair was sending me into a frenzy. My jeans getting too fucking tight to handle but I was too busy to even care. All my focuse was on her and her only. Her moans were loud and desperate. Just how I like it.

Her back arches as she pushed my head further into her and of course-i didn't mind that at all. I tongued and finger fucked her hole, letting my other fingers slowly rub against her wet folds. She tasted like sweet sugar; something I never experienced before. I could tell she was close by her breathing patterns. I stopped causing her to groan in annoyance. "I wanna have some fun too~" I cooed lifting my head up to caress her cheek.

I took off my jeans and right when I was lining up to her hole, I had no condom. Fuck, I forgot to buy some earlier. I took a deep sigh smiling at her. "You don't mind me going raw do you babydoll?"

"I don't mind~"

I grinned and slowly pushed inside her. We both let out a sigh of relief feeling each other in intimacy. "Feels good baby?"

I asked. She hummed and that was my go to-to start thrusting. I found a rhythm but didn't necessarily followed it as my pace became desperate when I started to get used to feeling her. She was a moaning mess and her whimpers only made it better. I couldn't help but go a little harder on her.

"Daddy...it feels so good-"

My heart literally did at least two somersaults. I wasn't expecting her to pull that kink card on me and fuck I liked it alot. A little too much. "Oh yeah??" I smirked. I leaned down to kiss her on her neck, biting every possible place that I haven't touched yet. I moved my hand down to rub her clit in circles wanting her to be extra stimulated.

"FUCK..Don't stop please..." She cried out. I just chuckled.

"I had no plans to darlin." I responded, reassuring her. I pulled back and had my hand around her neck choking her. She was the first girl to even let me do this. Her eyes were turning red as it was starting to water. She looked so helpless..so submissive...it turned me on so fucking much. I was nearly close.

"Im gonna...cum...."

"Me too darlin...cum for me..cum for daddy yeah?" I continued to pound into her, the room filled with the sounds of our moans and skin on skin contact. "Fuck.." I quickly pull out and start to stroke myself. I released all of my cum on her stomach just in time. I fell down right beside her as we both tried to relax after coming down from our high.

I turn over to her and saw she was already asleep. It was a perfect opportunity to clean her up and let her rest through the night with me.

The next day

I was woken up by an empty spot in the bed. I frowned but it was flipped when I saw her note on the night stand.

Thank you for last night, I had fun. Sorry I couldn't stay until you woke up though, I had to meet back up with some friends. But here's my number if you still wanna keep contact *** **** - (Name) xoxo

I couldn't believe it, she gave me her number. My heart was honestly beating against my chest hard already.

It was time to head back home and of course, the last person to arrive. The others looked pretty bummed. "Good morning everyone...why the long faces?" I asked in concern. They just sighed. "I didn't get no action, nor sleep because all I heard was you and that girl" Kirk said as he had his arms crossed.

Lars couldn't help but blush out of embarrassment at the last part, but at the same time-couldn't help but laugh. "Seems like I'm the only one that got action huh? oh boy do I have a story to tell~"

a/n : Im still getting the hang of writing smut so please be kind!!!

dividers: cr to owners

[autisticfishy]

Steven quartz universe is autistic and here's why

I present to you a full course meal of autism evidence for all you autistic goobers who see yourself in steven (like me)

He has the need for sameness/safe foods

Literally in episode one (gem glow) the whole beginning of the episode shows steven super upset over his favorite ice cream (safe food) being discontinued (meaning it had to be super unpopular.) An allistic child wouldn't be as upset because there are hundreds of other brands of ice cream sandwiches out there, but steven liked this SPECIFIC brand. He even memorized the commercial for it. (also he likes to eat the ears first which is SO real)

also, throughout the entire series he orders the same exact thing from the fry shop, the bits, which i've noticed a lot of autistic people find it easier or just prefer to have food in smaller pieces. he orders it so much that everyone that works there knows exactly what he's gonna order every time he comes

Not having friends his age

Most of steven's friends are either literal aliens, or adults/people way older than him, and the only friends his age that he has is connie (who I think is autistic too don't even get me STARTED) and peedee (who is also probably neurodivergent.)

I can heavily relate to this, as a child I only really hung around adults and one or two other neurodivergent kids. It's much easier to hang out with people older then you when your autistic because there isn't really the same social rules compared to the kids your age, and the older people don't really mind how you act since your younger then them

Also I kinda see how the reason onion and his friends like steven is because he's autistic. If I go by my headcannon that onion and his gang are all non speaking autistic kids, then it makes sense they connect with steven. My autistic little cousin loves playing with me because I understand her, and I think it's the same way with steven and onion, he understands onion and plays with him in a way that makes him feel understood

He doesn't understand social ques

There are SO many moments where steven doesn't understand social ques, at least one moment every 2 episodes. One example is in onion gang when onion and his friends were pretending one of them died with LITERAL KETCHUP and steven didn't understand that was a joke (silly guy)

I also see this a lot when he's with lars and sadie, he doesn't really understand which moments he should include himself in like in island adventure when he was constantly coming in between lars in sadie when they had their moments

Theres so much more but im not gonna list more since this happens like every episode

He wears the same clothes everyday

steven has been rocking the same fit for YEARS. I know it makes sense because he wears his dad's merch, but it's not like if he asked for more of a variety of clothes, the gems or his dad would have said no. Also the band shirts doesn't excuse the fact he wears the same jeans and flip flops every day. Autistic people love consistently especially when it comes to clothes

Even in future he doesn't really change up his daily attire, except for the jacket. He still sticks with the t shirt, jeans, and flip flops combo and honestly he's so real for that

Special interests/hypertixations

Steven definitely has hypertixations/ special interests. I can definitely see his main one being crying breakfast friends, he literally started a whole youtube channel to record his reaction to new episodes, and has very emotional reactions to them (same)

He also definitely infodumps about it a lot, Mostly in the form of trying to get people interested in it, like when he was trying to get the gems to take a personality quiz to see what crying breakfast friends character they are and when he used crying breakfast friend stickers to mark the warp pads inactive

And finally, just look at him and tell me you don't see the autism radiating through this creature

[pumpkinsy0]

It's been a rough couple weeks could I get some sweet Papercut head cannons?

of course!! hope everything gets better for u and that i could cheer u up w these!!

•pony likes curlys accent and curly knows it, sometimes he likes whispering things in kreyòl in ponys ear, and pony doesnt SWOON bc he knowwwss curlys doing something stupid and hes right, bc curly IS saying something so unromantic in his ear just trynna act like he aint

•speaking if kreyòl since where they grew up there isnt a lot of haitians, therefore nobody to translate what curlys saying to pony, for years pony just accepted that fact but as adults, pony asked curly wtf he was saying and curly just tells him!! no bullshit and some of the things were actually rlly sweet!!

•at some point, ponys realized that he doesnt have that many photos w curly, maybe like 3 from when they were younger, so when he gets his hand on a camera he makes sure to take like at least 10!! he wants to leave behind proof that they were together, no matter how it ends

•when someone has blue eyes, ponys realized that hes usually scared of them to some degree (tim, darry, angela) but w curly hes never rlly felt that way (all the time at least), hes found that so funny

•these r some touch starved FREAKS, i dont think yall understand that, for curly its more general but for pony its in a more romantical sense, but they r always touching each other (pause) like always, its more rare for them not to b

•they make so many bets w each other w the small money they have, but they just end up spending that money on the LOSER anyways, so TECHNICALLY theres no losing bets w these two but bc the other gets bragging rights THATS the real losing bit

•curly would totally b carrying pony if they played video games together, ponys shit at em, and curlys not GREAT at em typically but any time he can flex on pony and shiw off he’ll take it

•maybe this isnt 100% sweet, but im telling uuuuu curly wouldve totally been on ponys side that night, theyre both emotionally not mature so ofc they dont grasp whats rlly at hand and probably woulda got into deeper shit, but them sticking together regardless is very sweet to think about

•curly doesnt graduate from hs, not rlly a shocker, BUTTTT pony gives him the graduation ring!!! later down the line curly gets his ged w ponys help and they give him a new ring!!! curly wears both of em now, 3 if u wanna throw in a wedding ring

•ponys drawings r more serious and realistic while curlys is more cartoony and goofy, and that was also johnnys way of drawing, so in ponys sketchbook u can clearly tell who drew what especially bc ponys drawings take up the whole page and johnny/curlys r kinda just off to the side, theyre small but so silly and pony loves looking at them!!!

•when johnny died the pages pony drew on felt empty but then he got closer to curly and let him draw in the book a bit and it has that light again!! maybe not the same one, but its different and its them!!! new era if u will

[actualbird]

do you think the nxx ever cries or just… don’t deal with their emotions in a healthy way? they must be so emotionally repressed!

im so sorry but this is worded in a way i find absolutely hilarious omfg. do they cry or do they suck it up til the end of time? KJAHVSJFHAVSLFSFKJA

i like to think they Do cry, but my god it takes a Lot. this goes for All of them. like, we've seen in canon when the nxx boys and rosa cries, and it's usually during/after very high stakes or very emotional situations. some examples off the top of my head are

marius cries in SSR Unconcealable, the card where mc gets KIDNAPPED and then both of them get TRAPPED IN A FREEZER FOR A HOT SEC

mc cries in SSR Peaceful Place because she thought luke got shot and DIED,

luke cries in his Blossom Chapter Personal Story 4 because he thought mc DROWNED AND DIED

artem cries in SSR Two Hearts as one because he got so emotional acting like he was choking mc

vyn cries in...well, several cards like SR False Tears and SSR Neon Melody but those were 1) not exactly a "healthy" way of dealing with emotions or 2) caused by pepper spray KJHVSKJDF. im behind on vyn's cards, idk in which ones he cries honestly due to genuine in distress

so like, they DO cry. but it seems to take rather a lot to get them there. the flipside is that they also cry when overcome with immensely positive emotion (like, mc was on the verge of tears when luke finally proposed in SSR Orange Scent) so at least theres that!!!! but it's not much, chief....

all members of the nxx team all are IMMENSELY repressed. i think the most emotionally healthy of the team is DAVIS, which isnt a good sign, given that hes not even human

anyhoo this ask inspired me so

here are some misc headcanons on the nxx team and crying

i hc that luke as a kid was Such a crybaby. he'd cry over everything: when he saw a sad movie, when he saw a happy movie, when he saw a dog being walked but the dog was so dang small, when mc cries and his high empathy kicks in to make it Our Cry Session, just...he cried over IT ALL. he was just a very emotionally sensitive child, even to emotions from others. he eventually got emotionally steadier as he grew up but i think there are innocuous movies that, due to him crying over them as a kid, still make luke cry as an adult

[nxx movie night]

marius: man i love this movie, absolute classi---WHY ARE YOU CRYING??

luke: because ANYBODY can COOK!! EVEN A RAT!!!!!

mc, silently glaring at marius over luke's shoulder as if to say "Don't You Say A Mean Word To Him Right Now": O_O

(yes, they were watching ratatouille)

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vyn has mastered crying on cue and can do it at the drop of a hat, but when he REALLY TRULY ACTUALLY is hit by the genuine need to cry for any reason, be it positive or negative, he cannot stop it at all until its run its natural course.

which is just AGONIZING for him, surely, but this is the price he has to pay for the power of being able to cry on command: not be able to stop when it's for realsies

marius: HAHA, CRYBABY

vyn: //throws a book at him because just cuz he cant stop crying, doesnt mean he cant attack

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it slightly pisses everyone off a teensy bit that artem can cry artfully.

like, the single tear. the lines of silent tears streaming down his face. even the more desperate sobs. doesnt matter whether theyre stage tears for another play or if theyre during high stakes situations, artem seems to naturally cry in a cinematic manner

artem: //shedding a few tears because of the stress of an nxx operation or something

luke: hey it's okay, everyone's alright

luke internal thoughts: why is he so pretty while crying?????? .....wait what

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and lastly, marius can hold back tears like nobodys business. like luke, he was a huge crybaby as a kid. but unlike luke, he held it back so much that when he DID cry as a child, it was REALLY CRYING. like wailing, like sobbing. it's heartbreaking to watch

so via his Entire Life Of Repressing Weakness And Related Emotions, he became rlly powerful at holding back the need to cry. it only happens during VERY EMOTIONALLY INTENSE scenarios ORRRR

during horror movies

because hes such a horror weakling and he gets so spooked that tears literally come out

mc: how did that jumpscare make you tear up but not the intro scene to Up

marius, hiding behind a pillow to avoid any more jumpscares: im a man of endless mystery, miss

thank you for the ask :D