#do you know how many times i cried watching his song where he thinks about marrying logs
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mbat · 4 months ago
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kinda sad that there isnt, to my knowledge, much kids shows/movies that focus really on jewish stuff more than the one or two episodes where they talk about hannukah or someones bar/bat mitzvah, and maybe talk about some cultural food lol
like yeah its a religion but its also a culture and theres so many things about so many groups now and yet not really that one and like, when was the last time there was even a jewish protagonist in a kids show, i can think of like... one. jews are usually a main characters friend, or a side character.
honestly more than anything this just comes back to me not knowing much about my own culture and wishing id had a show that let me know about it, or even a show that would happen now that would teach people about it more than just being about the same 2 holidays/events yknow
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ylangelegy · 2 months ago
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⋆.˚ childhood best friend ♡︎ chan.
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── .✦ the one where bang chan learns what 'home' means. #우리의_찬란한_청춘_방찬에게 #BrightestStarBangChan
✰ gn!reader, idol!chan, fluff!!!, angst 🙁, childhood best friends, long distance friendship, homesickness, hurt/comfort, ambiguous romance [pining/crushes], open ending. end notes included! ❤︎ all sfw. intentional lowercase. wc: 1,800+
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🧸 childhood best friend chan who moves in next door, who came from seoul to sydney and was scared he wouldn't meet anyone his age.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who is the only one to attend your birthday party. he flashes you a grin and tries to cheer you up by saying, "that just means more cake for us!"
🧸 childhood best friend chan who introduces himself as christopher— but you can call him chris, he says hastily. he knows his full name is too long. you assure him no, it's okay, you'll call him christopher. he rewards you with another one of his signature dimpled smiles. the first of many.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who spends most of his summers with you. his next door neighbor, his new best friend. he tries to teach you how to play soccer. you burn songs you think he'll like on to CDs. the two of you learn to bike down your street. see? you both still have the scars to prove it.
🧸 childhood best friend chan whose fondest memories with you are set in beaches. you're both still too young to surf, so you kill your time trying to outswim each other. it's a tender rotation of portraits— hands sticky with fruit-flavored ice cream, sand in your slippers, the smell of sunscreen.
🧸 childhood best friend chan slash guitar teacher. you spend one too many evenings out on his porch with his beat-up acoustic guitar. as his fingers gently guide yours over the strings, you consider romance. but for only a moment. because you'd rather have him like this than risk not having him at all.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who sticks to your side at school. everyone thinks you're dating; the two of you give up on correcting peers. chan doesn't quite understand why he's so happy to have people assume, and why he's even happier to have you acquiesce.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who tells you, first, about what he plans to do. "it's just an audition," he tells you, but you already know. you already know what he's destined for, who he's going to be, as early as then.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who practices his bruno mars audition song with you over and over and over again until you forget what the original version sounds like. nowadays, whenever you hear just the way you are, it's only ever in the voice of thirteen-year-old christopher.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who calls you up excitedly, who only says two words. "i'm in," he breathes, and there's so many things you can say in that moment. of course you are, and i never doubted you, and you're leaving me?, but instead you settle on, "i'm proud of you."
🧸 childhood best friend chan who doesn't cry at the family dinner. doesn't cry at the airport. he laughs when you tear up, teases that you're being silly. think of it as summer camp, he tells you, and when he hugs you goodbye, his hands shake just a teensy bit.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who cries on the plane— because at least, there, no one who loves him will see.
🧸 childhood best friend chan slash trainee who keeps in touch. he texts a lot in those first couple of years. you'd like this café. these cherry blossoms look really good. dance practice today was tiring. you learn to read between the lines; he is saying i miss you, but he cannot say the words themselves, because then it becomes real.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who never misses a birthday, whether its yours or someone in your family's. shipping fees are too stressful and so he perfects the art of long-distance gift-giving. here, an 8tracks playlist. here, a digital flipbook. here, a video of him singing your favorite song.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who gets busy, who gets frustrated, who watches dozens of trainees debut before him. you try your darnedest to sympathize but there is only so much that you can know about this industry, about his lifestyle.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who never blames you. how could he? he made his choice. but still. but still. there are days, weeks, months, where he forces himself to keep his distance. because this is a whole other kind of hurting— saying goodbye and knowing that the door is still left open a crack.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who watches your life in pictures, in the squares of instagram photos, the tagged posts on facebook. you graduate high school, and then uni. you work part-time jobs. you finally learn how to surf. and he is proud, and he is hurt, and he is yours, still, in ways that neither of you can comprehend.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who, after being distant for what feels like forever, extends an olive branch in the form of a follow request. finstas are only just becoming a thing in his part of the world. every trainee has one. the first person he thinks to follow is you.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who starts reacting to your stories, who replies every so often. your haircut looks nice and how's your mum? and wow, that part of town has changed a lot. it's all so stilted, all so polite, but he's trying, he's trying, he's trying. he needs you to see that.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who finally calls you one evening to tell you everything. you are horrified by what he's gone through, by all the times he's been passed over, but chan reassures you. even as you apologize, again and again, for not knowing.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who tells you, "i chose this. i want to keep choosing it. but—" a beat. then, softly, the words he's held himself back from saying. "i just miss you, that's all."
🧸 childhood best friend chan who slots right back in to your life. he's still plenty busy. at least now he knows that you're always just one message away, that you'll appreciate his updates of i met another aussie today or there's a new day6 song or i can finally stop dieting.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who excitedly tells you about 3racha. about his genius lyricist j.one and his killer rapper spearb. his own moniker is plain and simple, he says with a laugh. cb97. but it's him, it's his, it's a start.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who sends you the first demo of a song he's genuinely happy to have produced. my heart is in your hands, he jokes in the e-mail subject line. j.one is good. so is spearb. but chan, cb97, your christopher, who sings "i'd like to start off this speech with a 'thank you' to everyone that helped little chris to grow up"? he's everything.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who tells you in vague terms that he might not be reachable for some time. there's a lot of things he wants to tell you, wants to divulge. there are other people on the line, now, though, and so he holds back. you understand. you tell him you'll wait. he is so, so grateful.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who is introduced as the leader of JYPE's newest boy group. he is not christopher or chris. he is chan, now. bang chan. you watch the survival show with his family. you give them a handwritten letter for him, when they go to visit him in south korea. you see him become everything he said he would be.
🧸 childhood best friend chan whose hair is two-toned dirty blonde and aqua blue when he debuts with hellevator. you buy his photocard. you still have it up in your room; it makes him cringe, but he is secretly pleased that you cared enough to do such a small thing.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who bears the weight of impossible expectations. leader, producer, idol. son, brother. friend. he is so many things all at once. they say he is too much. they say he is not enough. he doesn't know who to listen to.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who blames himself for things that are beyond his control. for 2019. for 2020. for 2021. for— there isn't a year where chan isn't blaming himself for something, really.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who finds comfort in the smallest of things. a noisy dorm with seven other boys. the thrill of turning a note in to a living, breathing song. you. your little updates. you. your easy responses. you. your unwavering support. you, you, you.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who wonders often sometimes what it would have been like if he stayed.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who can see it so, so clearly. the college you would have both gone to. working at the record store; busking in the mall. summers of surf and sun. your fingers fitting in to the spaces between his.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who thinks he would have been happy with that life. happier than right now?... he's not sure. all he knows is that he would have been happy. the two of you could have been so happy.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who often sometimes feel like his youth was taken from him. his teenage years were spent as a trainee; his early twenties were spent fighting for every scrap. he doesn't regret the choices he made. he doesn't want to. he can't.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who doesn't tell you any of this. a part of him doesn't have to. you know just how much he gave up. you know just how much he gained. you know why there are certain encores that make him cry, why there are songs he can't bear to perform live. why it's always so hard for him to name 'home' nowadays—
🧸 childhood best friend chan who wants to believe that 'home' means sydney. who, to make things easier, says 'home' is seoul. who will sometimes say that 'home' is STAY, 'home' is stray kids. who knows, deep down, that home is a three-letter word of y-o-u.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who, when he makes his way back to sydney, is scared shitless. he's been gone for so long. it's an endless litany of 'what if's. what if berry doesn't recognize him anymore. what if all his favorite restaurants have shut down. what if you realize you don't like the person he's become. what if, what if.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who is only partially reassured when he realizes there's still a spot for him at the dinner table, when his old friends don't treat him any differently, when the path to the park still feels familiar.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who realizes that all of his worries are unfounded when you greet him with "long time no see, christopher." not chan. not chris. christopher.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who smiles the same way that he had when he first met you. all bright eyes and dimples.
🧸 childhood best friend chan who holds out his hand, waiting to see if you'll take it.
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✰ i think a lot about a line in The Myth of Sisyphus, where it goes something along the lines of "one must imagine sisyphus happy." in some way, this is me #coping (lol). one must imagine bang chan happy. because maaan, does he deserve it. happy birthday, chris.
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selfloverrrrrr · 4 months ago
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can i request some noncon satosugu x reader where they used to bully her in highschool and a couple years later they bump into her outside of a bar and carry her into a dark alleyway to show her how much they missed making her scream and cry
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Remember us?
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Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, torture, size difference, threesom, blood, killing someone....
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( All characters are aged up/18+)
Minors Do Not Interact
Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report
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Little back story
Y/n's POV
I'm a old student of jujutsu high. I graduated from that school ten years ago. Now I'm leaving my life as I want. I didn't even have connection with my old friends. In high school there were two famous boys Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru. They are the strongest sorcerers. They were my bullies. I always feared curses. Geto knew curse manipulation. He always scared me with curses. And while I cried for help Gojo always tied my hands and pushed me towards the curse. I cried and begged them to stop the bullying. But they always just watched me helpless and laughed. Which boosted their strong ego. That's another reason I didn't accept the offer to continue jujutsu high work. That's old stories now.
End of back story
Still y/n's POV...
After a whole two months I finally got a day off. So I decided to go to the bar and spend the time there. I need to relax too. I took a mini party wear dress from my wardrobe and wore it. "Yeah... look fine for a dumb day" I said standing in front of the mirror and laughed.
I went to the bar, spending time, drinking, vibing to the song... everything was going okay. "Hello" someone said. I looked in the direction. There was a guy. "Hello...?" I replied. "Are you alone here?" He asked. "Can you see any other humans here?" I said knowing where this is going.
"oh...a rude one" he said. "I'm alone too....saw you when you entered... I think you're pretty" he said. "Thank you for the compliment and no" I replied. "No? What no?" He asked. "That was the reply of the intention you came here...my time is over... I'm going home now" I said and went up from there and started walking towards the exit. I heard the guy sighing.
I was looking at my phone searching for a cab. Suddenly bumped into someone. "Oh I'm sorry... I didn't-" I was saying then I saw the guy's face. Am I seeing right? Is it Geto. "Y/n?" Gojo said beside him. He's here too? Fuck why am I fearing them? We're grown up now... we're not high schoolers anymore!
Then there's nothing to fear about right? "Oh..hey" I said. "Seeing you after a long time" Geto said. "Yeah... after ten years...you were at the bar?" Gojo asked. "Yes... today was my day off... that's why" I replied. "I see... you joined any company?" Geto asked.
I've never talked with them like this before. This is feeling weird. "Yeah I did... how are you doing?" I asked. They were asking too many questions it would be weird if I didn't ask anything. "We are doing good" Geto said. "Wanna know a news?... Suguru and I, are married now" Gojo said leaning towards me.
"that's great... congratulations to you two" I said. "Well, thank you" Geto said. I felt Gojo eyes scanned my whole body. "Are you going home?" Gojo asked. "Yeah... looking for the cab" I replied. "Come with us... we're going home too... we'll drop you" Gojo said.
"no it's fine... I'll wait for the cab" I said. "Darling?...are you still scared of us?" Geto asked. A smirk played on both of their lips. "N-No... I-It's not like that" I replied. "Then come with us.... we're not a kid anymore" Gojo said. Then I agreed. Maybe that was the biggest mistake!
We're in Gojo's car. His driver was driving the car. We three were sitting in the back seat. Suddenly Gojo told his driver to stop the car. When I looked outside it was a dark road. Gojo went out of the car. "What happened sir? Is there anything wrong?" The driver asked. "Come out " Gojo said.
As the driver went out of the car Gojo immediately used a reversal red on him. I screamed as he did. "You were talking too much" Gojo said looking at the dead body. I didn't realise when I went on Geto's lap. "Satoru...she still fears us" Geto chuckled. Then I realised and went down from his lap.
Gojo was coming inside the car again. "Yeah I can see" Gojo said. "Suguru...feed your dragon the dead body" Gojo said . No no no...not curses! Geto let out his dragon and that went to eat the dead body. Gojo closed the car door.
I was so scared tears started forming in my eyes. "Please let me go" I begged. "Let you go?... But there's a curse outside... and you're afraid of curses, right?" Gojo said with a smirk. That was right! I am afraid of curses! "I wanna go home" I started crying.
Gojo and Geto chuckled. Gojo's hand was going upwards on my thigh. "Please let me go" I cried and begged. "Darling, you are afraid of spiders too... right?" Geto whispered in my ear. I looked at him with scared eyes.
"look at the front seat" Geto said with a smirk. I looked at the front seat. No no no! There's a huge spider! That's not a normal spider... that's a curse... I can feel the cursed energy. That was almost the size of a human. "No!!!! No!!!! Let me go! Let me go please!!!!" I screamed and struggled in the back seat.
Gojo laughed. "There... those screams again" he said. "darling... don't worry it won't do anything unless I say so....so obey us and you'll be safe" Geto said. I silently cried. Suddenly the spider started moving. "NO NO NO!!!! I'll obey you... please " I cried. The spider stopped again.
"good girl" Gojo said with a smirk. "Now take off your clothes" Gojo said. "W-what?" I said. "Do I have to repeat?" Gojo said then looked at the spider curse. "No no... I'll" I said. I took off the dress. Geto pulled me on his lap. "You become so sexy... Darling" Geto whispered in my ear.
"I was thinking that from the moment we met" Gojo said. I saw Gojo raising his hips up. Then I realised he was taking off his pants. He took out his dick and started stroking it. How much shameless can he be? But I had to admit... that dick was big... I've never seen a dick that big before.
"Satoru, you have no patience" Geto said. Gojo laughed. "What are you doing? Take off the rest... take off your bra and pantie" Gojo said. I sobbed and did as he said. Had no other options. Gojo grabbed my knees and spread them apart. Geto rubbed his hand on my clit.
"she's wet... maybe watching your dick made her wet, Satoru" Geto said. Gojo smirked. "Then why should we wait?" Gojo said and pulled me on his lap from Geto's lap. He pressed me on his lap and my clit was rubbing against his dick. A slight moan escaped my mouth.
When I looked at Geto again. He already had taken off his pants. Fuck! His dick was big too. slightly smaller than Gojo's but thicker. "How should we start? Single or double?" Geto asked. "Of course double!" Gojo said. "Do you think she can take both together?" Geto asked. "Hell yeah she can... you can right y/n?" Gojo said.
My eyes widened when I realised what they were talking about. "No no no...I can't please" I said. "Shut up... you can!" Gojo said.Gojo's smirk widened and he crashed his mouth on my boob sucking hurshly. I moaned loudly.
They both lined up with me. Fear grabbed me by my neck. " Gojo no no no... P-please no...Geto please s-stop" I begged but they didn't even listen to me and slammed their whole dick inside me in one slide. I screamed. They didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thrusting in and out roughly. It was too much...they both were big and thick....it was giving too much pain.
I was through my legs with pain and begging them to stop. And they liked it so much. Their thrust became harder and harder. I clenched around them tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh.... f-fuck...it's so tight " Geto moaned. "I know" Gojo said between moans and started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bit his shoulder and scratched his back to control myself.
With a few more thrust I came. They were still thrusting roughly. I felt their cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength. "Do you even know how much we missed you...how much we missed your screams...your begging... fuck " Gojo whispered. They both moaned loudly. Within a minute they came inside me I could feel their seed inside me. Then God knows how many rounds they did... switching positions.
"What do you say,Suguru?... Should we make her the one to give birth to our child?" Gojo asked looking at my unconscious body. "No one would be better you know" Geto replied which made Gojo chuckle.
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Give me your requests guys...
I love when you give me your requests 💕
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mrs-weasley-reid · 4 months ago
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hi hiiiii! I was wondering if you could do a Hotch x reader where there’s maybe an age gap and it’s based on Peter by Taylor swift? I’m obsessedddd with that song. Thankssss <3
PROMISES NEVER TO KEEP
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Aaron Hotchner x reader
Synopsis: He said he'll change. You believed he'd change. It's no one's fault, really. Waiting forever is just too long for heartache. WARNING: angst. pure free writing. 700+ word count. not proofread!!! A/N: tysm for this req!!! The age gap was vague, and honestly, the gap is like 9-10 yrs, r around late 20s. Also can anyone believe I sat, played the song, wrote along, and called it a day? The power of a TS song is just unmatched. I strongly suggest listening to the song while reading it.
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  Aaron’s late.
  Again.
  You stare at the empty seat across from you. Then, glance at the loud ticking over the mantle. Ten past eleven. Dinner was eight.
  Deep inhales mixed with salty tears you aren’t aware have been flowing for the past five minutes enter your lungs. There’s a tug in your chest that you swear to be a phantom. You smile ever so softly with a sniff as you tuck your head to study the cold dinner on your plate.
  Was it too last minute? Was it on you?
  You told Aaron about dinner two months ago. He said he had it written down and made a note on his phone’s calendar. He said he’d make it this time. Was he lying?
  The pit of your stomach sinks. And you wonder what else he lies about.
  Hot, achy streams trail down a path on your cheeks. You stand and clear out the table, covering his serving and throwing out yours. You watch as the residue drains down the sink.
  Aaron promised.
  And you believed it like any other promises he’d broken before.
  And you’ll believe him again and again and again until there are no more promises he could outswore.
  And it’s depressing because you know you’ll forgive him every single time like a chore.
  And it’s heartbreaking because he’ll make the same promises.
  And it hurts to know he’ll never keep any of it.
  Because he’s Aaron Hotchner. The man who saves lives. The man who put away monsters. The man who’s done many good things to the world. The man who caught your heart and dropped it many times, just for him to fix it with a consolation smile.
  Aaron once said you're his favorite book. He's read you enough times to know the important lines in mind. Just never enough to notice the spaces in between by heart. Maybe it's your fault for being easy to read. Or you're just not smart enough to read Aaron. Not mature enough to understand his limbs of idioms.
  And Aaron tries. God knows you try. He does his best, and you do yours. It's no one's fault that his best is so little, and your best goes unnoticed.
  You zip around your luggage, taking a moment to see how empty the drawer Aaron saved just for you. What will he put there now?
  A familiar tune rings. The tightness on your chest, along with the sobs that echo in the empty bedroom, muffle his call into a far buzzing sound.
  With a sharp gulp to clear the ache in your throat, you pick up, “[Hey, honey…]”
  He won’t show.
  Again.
  But he promised. Your heart cries in agony. And you hug your middle like a child who deserves everything the world can offer as you reply, I know.
  Where are you?
  When are you coming home?
  Why aren’t you here?
  “Hey, sweet man,” Comes out of your lips, masking a shaky sob.
  There’s a sigh on the other end, “[I’m sorry. I won’t make it to dinner. Did you wait long?]”
  You always do. You wait until the daylight peeks in the window. Wait for him to return every single time.
  “After almost burning the house down. I think you would’ve waited longer if you had come.” The laugh comes out damp. You like to think you’re getting better at it. Lying to make him feel better.
  He hums. “[I’m sure it still would’ve tasted amazing.]” Aaron wouldn’t have known. He hasn’t known what your amazing cooking tastes like for a long time because he’s never shown up for a very long time.
  You wipe your tears and take a deep breath before staring into the place you’d once ached to call your home. Reminded by a series of his apologies and empty promises. The place where you burned all by yourself like a candle in the middle of winter.
  And now’s the final flicker of your light.
  “[Still there, honey?]”
  You give your best to sound naturally groggy, “Sorry, handsome… I had an early morning.” A lie over your breath.
  “[Go ahead and rest. I’ll see you when I get home?]”
  You grab the handle of your luggage. Memories of his sweet words flicker, clutching onto false hopes.
  You make a promise that you’ll call him to explain.
  To end things maturely.
  To offer closure.
  To meet acceptance.
  To move on.
  You promise to grow better as a person so that you’d understand an increment of the reason why he can’t make you his person.
  You promise to cross Aaron’s path again one day. When he’s old and gray. When you don’t need to pray. When you know, he’ll stay.
  Placing the spare keys on the bowl, your fingers press the switch to dark.
  “See you when you get home.”
  It’s a promise you won’t keep.
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hotch masterlist | masterlist
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halohalona · 3 months ago
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Fair
"It's what my heart just yearns to say In ways that can't be said"
Logan reflects on his life, sense of self, and his relationship with you
Logan Howlett x Reader
this was inspired by the song "Fair" by The Amazing Devil. You can listen to the song while reading but it isn't necessary. i wanted to capture the song's emotion in this fic, and hopefully, I did.
ok this is take 2 of posting this 'cause the first time had a shit ton of typos and could not live with myself letting ya'll read a fic with typos (especially when i wanted this to be very emotional), partially beta-read, hopefully, it's not as typo-filled as before
masterlist
warnings/tags: emotional hurt/comfort, takes place after the events of DP&W, logan cries, reference to "Beanie" (drabble i wrote), a glimpse of domesticity, and i honestly don't know what else to tag.
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Sunlight pours into the room through the gaps of the curtain as Logan stirs awake on your chest. You’ve been awake for a while now, just playing with his hair and humming the first song that came to mind.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” you softly greet him with a warm smile. He looks up at you, his own tender smile gracing his lips. A smile reserved only for you. He doesn’t say anything, too busy admiring your bedhead, appreciating how beautiful you looked in the morning.
He buries his head into the crook of your neck as his smile widens. “Where have you been all my life?” he murmurs softly against your skin.
“In another universe?” you reply playfully.
His smile slowly fades at the thought. His face is still in the crook of your neck as he mumbles “It’s not fair,” hoping you wouldn’t hear, but you do anyway.
“What’s not fair love?” you ask.
“It’s not fair how the universe hid you away from me,” he joked. You gently hug his head and chuckle. He said it jokingly but you know that’s not what he really wanted to say.
It was Wade who introduced you to each other during one of his many parties. You were his neighbor across the hall. After some mildly uncomfortable introductions and comments from Wade, Logan irritably told him to shut the fuck up which led to him eventually leaving you two alone.
You never met the Logan of your world, and Logan never met the you in his world. Sometimes you wonder if you ever did meet the Logan of your word, would he be the same as the man you’re lying with right now? Probably not, and you think it’s for the best.
He stays quiet for a while before releasing you from his embrace and sitting up.
He stares at the wall, pondering about you, your relationship, this world he’s in, everything.
His mind wanders back to the time when you made that odd-looking hat because you said it reminded you of his hair—he couldn’t help but smile, realizing in that moment that he would cherish everything about you, no matter how unusual it was. He remembered the night you two were watching a horror movie on the couch and you were so scared that you somehow found a way to burrow yourself between his back and the couch to get away from the horrifying scenes unfolding on the TV. In that moment he felt a deep and instinctive need to protect you from anything that would frighten or harm you, real or not. And then there was the time you went out of your way to get him the watch he had been staring at in the mall; it made him realize just how much you cared.
Maybe fate brought you to each other, though he’s not entirely sure. But he was sure about one thing: he wants you. He wants this life he’s created with you. He has never felt so content, calm, and happy. Yet, he’s convinced himself that he doesn’t deserve any of this—especially not you.
“Love? Is everything alright?” your voice laced with worry brings him out of his contemplation and back to the present.
God knows he wasn’t a good man, and he’s told you so many times but you stand by him. If he hadn’t already lost everything, he would be willing to do so, if you asked. And that’s what he tells you.
You move to straddle on his lap and cradle his face in your hands.
“Hey, it’s me,” you say softly. “You may not be a good man, and as you said, you’ve done bad things. But what’s happened has happened, and you can’t change that. Even if you could and you did, we wouldn’t be here right now. You may think you don’t deserve me but isn’t that also up to me? I want you, and you want me. Let’s keep it that way, alright?”
He wraps his arm around your waist, holding you close. Afraid that if he moved even the slightest bit you would disappear along with his reason for everything. You don't say anything. You let him hold you until his heart and mind stop racing.
Running your hands through his hair and hugging him against your chest you whisper, “It’s not fair,” echoing his words from earlier. “It’s not fair how much I love you even when you piss me off and act like you don’t need me.”
You settle onto his lap, and softly press your forehead against his. A tender smile graces his lips as he gazes into your eyes. “Well, if that’s the case,” he murmurs, his voice soft and sincere, “you have no idea how unreasonably in love I am with you. With everything you do, with just… you.” he pulls away, holding your wrist and laying his head in your palm, more tears threatening to fall, "You make me feel normal when I'm with you.”
Fighting back your own tears, you whisper, “I love you, and I want you to remember that. I love you so much it hurts. And it hurts me as much knowing you don’t believe that you deserve it, because you do. I love you, so please don’t push me away” you bring your lips to his in a soft and tender kiss.
"I love you more than words can say, and I promise I'll never push you away again.”
“And I’ll stay by your side, no matter what happens,” you added, holding him close.
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pommpuriinn · 6 months ago
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ㅤㅤ⁔⁔ ۟ㅤ ⊰ ㅤ ۫ㅤ 𑁤ㅤ ۪ㅤATHENA’S JOURNEY IN ILANDㅤ֗ ⸃⸃
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᱈ ۫ ﹏ 𐀓synopsis››› ִ ࣪ - many highlights of Athena’s journey during land and what got her where she is now, enhypen.
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𖥨᩠ׄ݁ the camera slowly pans up to Athena making her way down the trail heading towards the iland building. “Wow I’m really in the middle of nowhere.” Athena chuckled softly while walking up to the huge front door
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena was greeted with a moving stage and seeing all the other trainees watching her with shocked expressions, mostly liking because she’s a female trainee
“it’s a girl!”
“Is she going to be the only one?”
“woah, she looks imitating.”
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ as the stage moved her closer to the other side she met eyes with Sunghoon, she hid her smile by rubbing her lips together. Athena’s favorite figure skater wants the same dream as her, it caught her by surprise. “Hello.” Athena bowed towards everyone and took the empty seat next to Jay
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ once it was Athena’s turn to perform everyone was on the edge of their seats and the second they heard the song everyone cheered making Zico, Rain, and Sihyuk laugh at their reaction. Athena was performing ‘Monster’ by Red Velvet’s Irene and Selugi, people that were and weren’t watching iland kept on reposting her performance video gaining lots of attention for Athena
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena ended up passing the audition round with getting everyone’s vote to enter iland
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ throughout watching everyone’s performance Athena kept a poker face until people started messing up she would rise an eyebrow at them, which people thought it was funny and made it a reaction meme
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena was very hesitant about joining iland because of the all boy group concept and her knowing that she was going to be the only female trainee
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ she was a bit awkward at first and always thought the boys would vote her off to ground, but it never happen since the boys really admired her talents and skills
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ many times the producers gave Athena compliments while giving harsh criticism to the other trainees, which Athena felt like there would always be tension after the producers would leave because they wouldn’t give the same harsh words to her and only them
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena was very quiet during iland until Heeseung would constantly try to get Athena out of her shell sometimes it would work other times he respected that Athena just wasn’t comfortable enough to let loose
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ “Athena-ah let’s eat together?” Heeseung asked with big puppy like eyes. “Mmm…ok.” Athena shrugged, and got out of bed. Heeseung felt like he won the lottery because Athena only eats with Sunghoon and sometimes Jungwon
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ before Sunoo was in ground for the first part of iland Athena quickly got comfortable about him just because she liked his vibe and they instantly clicked and got along. She would sometimes cry because she wanted Sunoo in iland with her instead of ground, and he finally entered iland again she cried because of how much she missed him
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ during Athena’s time there she didn’t really get into arguments not even with Heeseung for center parts, they both knew in their heads they were rivals, but never had full arguments about it. Until most group members agreed to give Athena a part that K also wanted
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ “I think that part should go to me because I want to showcase my skills while you had many parts already. Plus since I’m older I should have that pick instead of you.” K argue to Athena. The room fell into silence everyone was taking little glances between the two. “I understand that, but this mission is about teamwork and having everyone agree on the same thing, plus doing what’s best for the team.” Athena’s voice was no longer soft and timid, it was stern company with sharp eyes staring down at K
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ “well it doesn’t matter about the team because we are going to be individually graded!” K was getting more irritated by the second. “The whole point is-you know what? Just do whatever you want then.” Athena stood up and walked out of the room. The members were shocked seeing Athena storm out of the room
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ thankfully Athena and K did have a heart to heart conversation with K immediately apologizing for his behavior, and Athena accepting it saying ‘no hard feelings’ Athena knew they’re in pressure inducing environment, and they’re going to lash out at one another at some point
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ whenever Athena would be shown on the big screen everyone would be blown away from her visuals. “Woah handsome Athena!” Sunoo called out. “She’s perfect.” Jay was in awe. “I’m jealous~” Jake whined.
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena found it funny whenever the members would tease anyone would be staring too hard at Athena, it was mostly Sunghoon who they would tease a lot. Since everyone knew the two had some history before entering the trainee world (they were talking about Athena being a Sunghoon figure skater fan and meeting him)
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ once Sunoo finally was able to enter iland in part 2 both Athena and him became inseparable, even choosing to be in the same team together
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ chamber 5 Athena made the girls kick their feet because of how cute she was acting while performing, even all the boys were giggling when Athena came on camera
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena would play tag with Niki during their break time so the cameras would just catch two blobs speed running throughout the whole place
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ the editors made a mini montage of Athena sleeping anywhere at anytime with the footage that her team members would take of her
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena ran the practice room like the military when it came to singing live while dancing, she didn’t want to ever rely on backtrack
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ Athena global votes were very similar to Sunoo’s she was a fan favorite for sure because of her constant help towards her team members making sure no one was behind, along with her own amazing skills and visuals. Lots of female fans started crushing over Athena
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ during the last episode once Athena’s name was called to be in the final line up she fell to her knees, it was like the huge pressure of debuting was lifted off her shoulders. The members gave Athena a big group hug welcoming her into Enhypen
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ “don’t cry noona!” Jungwon wiped Athena’s tears, while still hugging her. “I never seen you cry this much Athena-ah.” Jake rubbed her back. “She held it all in.” Jay patted Athena’s head affectionately. When the other team members cried because someone got eliminated she would be the first there to comfort them, so now it’s their turn to care for Athena like she always did for them
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ iland was not an easy experience for Athena, but it did help her open up and meet new people who she can call her family
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thatfreshi · 1 year ago
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OKAY OKAY LET ME COOK TAV HAS AN ABUSIVE EX LOVER AND ASTARION AND TAV RUN INTO THEM
We're all just trying to cook out here, let us cook!
TW - run-in with abusive ex, bf and ex get into a fight
Recommended Song: I Didn't Change My Number - Billie Eilish
Evening walks, humidity in the air from the day's rain, hands intertwined. You can't ask for much more. While you and Astarion enjoy a good party-filled night, it's nice to simply observe the bustle of dusk, lovers just now finding each other in alleyways, ridiculous drunken fights. It's fun, making little comments about the surrounding chaos, Astarion mostly just making fun of people's outfits.
"I mean really, I have never seen such a gaudy scarf in my life, and I've lived for almost three hundred years!"
"Yes, I remember."
"I'm just saying, truly a bad scarf."
You cling to him, as you usually do. The streets of Baldur's Gate make you nervous, so many uncertainties, especially one man. You never told Astarion about your past lover, not wanting to burden him with all of that. After all, you have no idea if he still lives in the city, but it still makes your skin crawl, knowing he's out there.
"Are you alright my sweet?"
He noticed you had slowed your steps, zoning out.
"Of course."
You smile, hiding the thoughts quite well. Eventually, the two of you make it to a quieter part of town, and you both lean against a stone building, taking in the sights of the stars. As people silently pass by, a figure makes their way towards you from the street.
"Well, if it isn't Tav? How are you old friend?"
Goosebumps, chills all across your skin. Your ex, a half-drow, eyes a burning purple. You stay silent, and Astarion simply watches the situation play out.
"Who's this?"
His gaze moves to Astarion. You wrap yourself around your lover's arm, squeezing him tight.
"Tav, would you like to go?"
Practically ignoring the drow, he turns to you, trying to deal with your fingers digging into his skin. You nod.
"Now hold on, I just wanted to say hi! Tav and I, we have a past together, and it just so happens I haven't seen them in a long time."
A grin grows across his face, disgustingly intrigued by your current circumstances.
"Yeah... hi."
You don't make eye contact, simply agreeing. Not liking the way things are progressing, Astarion goes to grab for the dagger under his coat, keeping his hand on the handle.
"Oh, so your new lover thinks he's so scary, huh? I'm sure you've told him all about me, right?"
"Aster, let's just go, please."
Your voice is practically a whisper at this point.
"Hold on darling, it's okay. I've got you."
He steps between you and the drow.
"Unless you want to be splayed all over the cobblestones, I'd suggest you move along now."
The drow steps to him.
"Splayed? Are you sure about that pretty boy?"
You didn't remember just how tall he was, making Astarion look tiny.
"Astarion!"
You plead, scared that he's bit off more than he can chew.
"Aw, scared for the pretty elf are you? Seems things haven't changed, you're still just a fearful mouse, prey."
He's said too much now, and the vampire pulls his dagger, meeting the drow's knife. While he's distracted trying to hold off Astarion's blade, the second dagger comes out, piercing right through the drow's stomach. He got him good, knowing right where to stab that would make him bleed profusely, but not kill him, not if he was quick. Your ex cries out in pain, he wasn't expecting the second blade. Astarion pulls him in by the collar.
"I never want to see you in this city again, understand?"
Still wheezing in shock, the drow nods, clutching at his stomach. Astarion smiles, content with his work.
"Good. Now, I would get someone to patch that up soon, lest you bleed out in the dark somewhere."
With that, he scurries off into the darkness, and you realize a few people were staring at the spectacle.
"Apologies, nothing to see here!"
Astarion waves off the strangers, and turns back to you.
"Are you alright my dear?"
You're still in shock, not expecting to see him here, now. You nod, wrapping yourself around his arm again.
"It's okay my love, it's over."
You mumble, lying against his arm.
"I know, I just-"
"Shhh, hush now. Let's go home, alright?"
You nod, weeping from the fear that still hasn't dissipated. He wipes away your tears, and you try to smile at him.
"Thank you."
"Of course my sweet, anything for you, always."
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carolmunson · 2 years ago
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the nerve.
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virgin!eddie x reader, semi-modern AU, it's the very early 2000s (early enough that the phantom menace would have already come out in 1999, but cellphones weren't really a thing yet.) i feel like we've been on a toxic!eddie train for a little so here's a little love drunk baby boy (in his late 20s) whose been about you for ages but the timing wasn't right. now you're together and it's time, but he's real nervous. this fic is mostly from eddie's point of view, so, hopefully you bitches like that. super fluffy, smutty, sweet. cute. tooth rotting even. warnings: smut, minors dni. couples first time, virgin!eddie, p in v, fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving).
Eddie's hands are sweating when he pulls up to your house. A small little one bedroom he's been in so many times before -- cozy and soft, like you. You never have the overhead lights on, except for in the kitchen. Always opting for something warm and glowly, decorative. You told him a story once about how women used to put pink lightbulbs in their house so they'd look younger and he never forgot it, so now he tells people that story and says he learned it from you.
You hadn't been dating long, but he feels like he's been with you forever. You come so naturally to him -- years of friendship will do that to a person, he guesses. Spending those years watching you be with someone else, someone he didn't really know very well -- different town, someone you used to know in college with Nancy. When you showed up to Steve's after the break-up he was almost relieved but he felt awful about it. Feeling giddy while you cried into Nancy's shoulder and Robin rubbed your back. You thought you were gonna marry that guy -- how?! He didn't even like your favorite movie! He didn't even know how you liked your pancakes! Or how you lie about what your favorite song is depending on who you're with! (It's a tie between Nina Simone's 'New Day' and The Beatles' 'Blackbird' in case anyone was wondering.)
Getting here, coming to your house for dinner dates, taking you out, holding your hand, that was an easier task than what was to come. But it wasn't an easy road to get here for him either. He wasn't really great at the whole girls thing.
It's why he was was still blushy and nervous the night you came over to Steve's for a movie night. You all got snowed in. He knew you liked him and you knew he liked you but you weren't sure if you 'like' liked each other -- you'd never said. Neither of you had.
He stopped breathing when you'd sat next to him, sinking into the cushions of Steve's large L-shaped sectional with your knees brushing. Steve casting glances over at Eddie to implement at least one trick he taught him to get close to you. 'If she doesn't do it back then you know it's not happening, it's that easy.' It's that easy? He'd rather die than make a move and have you not be into it.
You were half way through The Empire Strikes Back when he noticed Steve knock Robin on the knee with his. Robin looked over at the two of you, knees and shoulders touching, hands to yourselves. Her lips curled into a mischevious smile when she realized what her partner in crime was asking from her.
"Hey," she whispered over to you, offering you a peach ring from the bag, "Want one?"
"Ooh, thank you," you whispered back. 'They're my favorite.' He thinks it as you say it to her, he knows they're your favorite, that's why he always picks them up at the gas station before he shows up to these things. The crinkling of the bag gets Nancy's attention and she casts a glance up at Steve from where she's settled in the crook of his arm. They share knowing looks, shaking her head while her attention goes back to the screen.
"You want one, Ed?" she asks, except this time her hand is much farther away, resting on the back of the couch so that he'll have to reach behind you to get one. Eddie looks at her, eyes begging, 'you're kidding'. Her eyes glint back in the glow of the TV, 'I'm not kidding.'
"Yeah, sure," he says shakily, reaching across the back of the couch. If you know what he's doing, you're not letting on and that's fine with him. He grabs the candy, popping it in his mouth and letting his arm rest behind you at first -- heart pounding while he moves it downward enough so that you can feel him drape himself around you. He can't look at you at all while he does it, terrified that you might be disgusted by him even attempting to be close to you.
He swallows when you turn to him, your knees pressing up to his thigh when you shift your hips towards him, feet tucking up onto the couch. Eddie turns slowly to see you looking up from his shoulder, eyes shining with a smile.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," you say back in a whisper, inching your face a little closer to him, "Can you tell me what's happening?"
He lets out an airy chuckle through his nose, "I always forget you haven't seen these, sorry we started with the second one."
"So, right now," he starts, pointing at the screen, "Harrison Ford's character--"
"Anakin," you say, certain of your answer.
"No," Eddie laughs.
"Qui-gon Jinn," you offer, as a new answer. "Oh my fucking God," he laughs, running a hand over his face in disbelief. He looks at you, toothy grin and all, "You don't know who Harrison Ford's character is, but you know the name Qui-gon Jinn?"
"It's very memorable," you say softly, laughing at yourself. He loves that about you -- you're very confidently wrong sometimes.
"Jesus Christ," he mutters, "That's like, in the newer movies -- he's not even in the ones from the 80s."
"Oh -- is it Obi-wan?" you ask, "Or Luke?"
"You know you're the assistant editor for the Culture section, right?" he asks, his face inching closer to yours, "How do you not know about film culture?"
"More like nerd culture," you huff back, rolling your eyes. When you turn your attention back to the screen he feels you settle into the crook of his waist, scooching yourself closer to him. His hand falls to your shoulder, unsure if he should hold you the way Steve holds Nancy -- arm wrapped around with a hand resting on her hip. That might be better for another day when he was feeling more confident.
Your head finds a home on his shoulder and part of his chest, your hair smells like Herbal Essences and he only knows that because he started buying it recently. He holds his breath for a moment while you get comfortable against him. Eddie eases himself against you, hand around your bicep to pull you in closer.
"Harrison Ford is Han Solo," he says to the top of your head.
"No, he's Obi-wan," you mutter defiantly, brushing off his answer.
"Sure," he laughs, "You're right, he's Obi-wan."
He kissed you in the kitchen after everyone had gone to bed and you both stayed up talking over a six pack. You tasted like peach rings.
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Once he parks in the drive way he gives himself a mini peptalk all the way to your door. It's not like it was your first date, which he'll admit went really well, but this was the date. You both felt it. With every kiss getting more feverish, every makeout getting more and more hot and heavy, every wandering hand and mouth -- he was gonna have sex with you tonight.
Which would have been fine.
If he wasn't a virgin.
He'd gone over and over it again with Steve. Tips, help, tricks, reassurance -- but all of it made him feel even more inexperienced. It took him three years to graduate high school and he wasn't exactly the most popular guy there. No one caught his eye when he threw himself into work at the auto-shop, even less at the craft store full of old ladies, and even less at the comic book shop where all he was, was surrounded by other vigrins who were ten years younger than him.
He was always too nervous to talk to girls at The Hideout or other bars his band played at. They were almost always more into Jeff and Gareth anyway. Smooth talking, suave, more confident with age -- he felt like he was behind. Regressing, even. More focused on his hobbies, his friendships, more focused on you. How you'd talk about work and whether you wanted to move closer to the city. How you'd hang out at the bar with him after a gig and listen with bright eyes while he told you what was coming next for the band. How you'd ask about the next campaign for the store's D&D club. Even if you didn't get it, you at least tried. Anakin, Obi-wan, Qui-gon Jinn.
He knocks and rings the bell, he can hear the thump! of Brutus, your old gray cat, jumping from the couch down to the floor getting ready to greet him. You appear, flushed and smiley, some of your hair stuck to your cheeks with sweat.
"Hi, sorry, the kitchen's kind of hot -- didn't get a chance to y'know -- get my shit together," you say, while the door opens. He swears his heart is going to come out of his mouth out of these days with how it rises in his throat when he sees you.
"You look pretty," he says, shrugging off his jacket when he steps inside. You press a kiss to his cheek but it's not enough. With his coat still in his hand he catches you with the free one, stopping you before you head back to the kitchen, to kiss your lips.
"Hi, baby," he says quietly. You grin, eyes downcast to the floor.
"Hi."
"How was work today?" he asks, finally stepping away to hang up his coat in your closet by the door. Brutus follows him with scraggly 'meows' and 'rahhs', weaving through his boots to get his attention.
"Work was worky. Nancy's bummed she didn't get that promotion but she'll be alright," you scrunch your nose in sympathy for Nance, drying your hands off on your jeans.
"She's got bigger things going for her anyway," Ed says, bending down to scratch Brutus behind the ears. The cat nuzzles his hand with a pleased purr, following him who was following you back into the kitchen. He looks at the pots and pans boiling and simmering, the light on in the tiny oven. Your kitchen and little and hasn't been updated since the sixties but you told him you prefer it. 'S'part of my charm,' you'd say. He thought all of you was charming.
"This is a lot, baby -- you didn't have to do all this," he pleads. He hates when you over work yourself, and you do it all the time. 'I just wanna impress you,' he thinks your response as you say it because of course you do.
"Everything you do impresses me," he murmurs, coming up behind you while you massage arugula for a side salad, "But I would've been more impressed if you called a pizza joint and placed an order."
"I can't make a phone call," you laugh, "I think it would kill me. I think I'd have a heart attack."
"Which is why I'm saying it would've been more impressive if you ordered a pizza," he says into your hair, leaning his head on your shoulder, "What can I do to make this easier for you?"
"Will you just set the table for me?"
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Dinner was delicious. You made it for him, so of course it was. He likes this, snuggling on the couch, laying long ways, Eddie's head on your chest with your hands gliding through his waves. His eyes are fluttering closed and open again while the graze of your nails glides over his scalp. He totally gets why Brutus begs for scratches behind the ears -- this must be exactly what it feels like.
The hum of 'If I Only Had A Brain' leaks out of the TV speakers. This was culture you knew -- you'd seen The Wizard of Oz a hundred times over. He knows it's not your favorite movie, but it's up there, it's close. Your favorite movie is Grease and you don't lie about that to anyone. You got John Travolta's autograph once and framed it when you were little, he remembers you telling him that when you were drunk at karaoke. You sang 'Hopelessly Devoted'.
Then you made him come up and sing Summer Nights with you. He wished he would've kissed you then, but you had a few drinks and he thought maybe you were just feeling flirty. That you didn't like him like that. You wanted to kiss him when he hit the end high note, it still makes your heart race a little when you think about it.
"This is so you," you say, the sleepy hum of your voice vibrates against his ear. He furrows his brow and looks up at you.
"Excuse me? If I only had a brain?" he inquires, hand crawling up to press against your face in a fake smack, "That's mean."
You laugh, it's a sound he wants to be the one to cause for the long haul, "I don't mean you don't have a brain, I mean like -- look at him move. He's such a goofball -- you're like that, you're goofy."
He rolls his eyes, "Okay."
"In a good way!" you argue playfully.
"Oh look, it's you," he teases when the Wicked Witch appears on screen with her green hands and sneering glare.
"Did you know that she actually --"
"Couldn't use her hands to eat or drink whenever she had the makeup on because it was toxic?" he finishes, shifting his body so he was caging you in under him. He uses his free arm to nudge you onto your back, both of your faces hidden by his sheets of dark hair, "You told me."
"Oh," you blush, "Sorry. I always forget who I tell my little facts to."
"No, it's okay," he says softly, leaning down to kiss you, "It's very cute."
"You're very cute," you say back when his lips break away.
"Stop," he says with a giggle. Always so boyish when he doesn't mean to be.
He lets out a sharp exhale through his nose when you lean up to kiss him again. The kiss is chaste and sweet, your legs parting so he can comfortably slot himself between them. He's come to learn how much you like that type of friction and closeness. You like loosely wrapping your legs around him -- it's a thought he has often when he's home alone and thinking about you.
You deepen the kiss, hands finding his hair, tongue snaking into his mouth. Somewhere deep in his belly comes a growl, hips pressing up against yours eagerly. The softest, 'mm!' squeaks out of you at the pressure and he can feel the gentle roll of your hips against him. His heart hammers in his chest -- oh fuck, we're gonna actually do it.
Eddie's eyes flick up to see Brutus on the lounge chair looking at him. He looks back at Brutus, green eyes shining into his brown ones -- it feels...judgemental.
"Could we maybe go somewhere that Brute can't see this? I feel like the spirit of your dad is inside him," Eddie asks, still keeping his eyes on the cat.
You let out an airy laugh through your nose, "Yeah, sure, c'mon."
Your room smells like you, so do your sheets, your pillows. He loved being engulfed like this, he didn't think he could be any more in love with a person.
You follow him in and watch him sit on the bed, eager faced and flushed. He gulps when you take your jeans off, followed by your sweatshirt and socks.
"I just wanted you to see -- surprise!" you cheer quietly, looking back at him. The set was burgundy, made of satin, shiny. Slightly frilled on the ends. Underwear cut high and perfectly laid over the curve of your ass. The cups of the bra in that old timey balconette cut. You bought it on purpose, you bought it for him.
"Oh fuck," he mutters to himself.
"I didn't know if you'd like black or red more so I sorta," you shrug, "Met them in the middle."
"I don't care what color it is," he breathes out, eyes glassy and blown, mouth completely dry. How could you talk so casually to him when you look like this? How could you act like this wasn't a really big fucking deal to have worn a set for him to see? With him in mind? Like, you thought about him while you bought this? His jeans feel tighter by the second. He leans back on his hands on your bed to take you in, "You look -- insane."
"In the good way," he quickly follows up.
"You like it?" you smile.
"I really like it," he nods, gulping again, begging his voice not to crack, "C'mere, let me look at you up close."
He watches you approach him and sits up slowly, hands coming out to caress you. He puts his hands up to cup your breasts, thumbs dragging over the fabric of the bra, drifting down to your hips where he leans forward to kiss the side of your tummy, another by your ribcage, a third on your sternum. He looks up at you afterwards, awaiting your lips when you lean down to kiss him.
"You're so pretty, baby," he mumbles against your lips, "You're beautiful."
He swallows when you get him on his back, biting his lip when you straddle him over his jeans. You take your hair down, he blinks hard to make sure he's not dreaming -- that you're really on top of him, really in lingerie, really looking like that.
"Shouldn't um -- shouldn't I be on top of you?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" you ask with a giggle, "You don't want me to be on top?"
"It's just, like," he sighs, letting his hands rest on the outsides of your thick thighs, "Aren't I supposed to be in charge?"
"You're not supposed to be anything, Ed," you reason, pawing up his chest until you were flat against him. You kiss him but he stays rigid, his mouth rubbery and unmoving.
"You okay?" you ask, his chest pangs.
"Uh, yeah," he says, shaking his head. He racks his brain for anything Steve might've told him, any porn he might've watched. Sure girls were on top but like, they didn't like that did they? Didn't they like being thrown around? Slammed? Fucked? What do you like? Shit, how was he supposed to figure this out? Especially with you grinding your hips like that, slow and teasing -- fuck.
You tug at his shirt and he uses the moment to pull it off, scooching you off him to take off his jeans. Regular, clean, tartan boxers. He wished he'd worn something sexier -- like boxer briefs or something -- something that didn't look so ridiculous with a hard on.
"So we're doing this, right?" he asks, climbing back on the bed and laying you down on the mattress.
"Only if you want to," you smile at him, reaching behind you to snap the bra off throwing it on the floor. All the light in the room was from a single three wick candle on your dresser on the back wall but even then he could see the curves of your chest. The shape of your body under him. Your head hits your pillow and he sighs, using one arm to steady him and the other to glide over you, from your cheek, down your neck, landing on the swell of your breast.
"You're so perfect," he says softly, eyes lingering where his hand was resting. He kneads it gently and smiles when it earns him a small gasp. Your legs part again and he uses his knees to part them further.
You look up at him, a little confused, but part your legs further anyway. He sits up, leaning back to take your arms and pin them against your chest, falling back into his previous position. He kisses roughly, you oblige but it doesn't feel like him.
He bites at your lower lip, hard enough that you let out a whine but he takes it as the go ahead. He lets his mouth wander, nipping down your neck in harsh love bites with nothing to follow up to soothe them. His hand snakes into your hair with a sharp tug.
"Ow," you whisper, but he doesn't hear it. Too busy trying to make sense of this in his head. Is he supposed to lick a stripe up your neck before or after he bites? Is it supposed to be closer to your jaw? Where did he even see this? This would be easier if he wasn't achingly hard.
“Hey, hey, stop — stop,” you say sternly. Eddie recoils immediately, sitting back on his heels and shrinking into himself with a deep blush you can’t see in the low light. His eyes sting with embarrassed tears, adams apple bobbing while he tries to swallow them down. His heart is beating so hard he think it might shoot directly out of his chest. And how awful would that be? First he ruins sex and then he just bleeds all over you?
“What’s going on?” you ask, pulling your blanket up from the end of your bed.
“I just — I’m doing what I thought you might like?” his voice his tight, like he’s holding back a cry, “Am I not doing it right?”
“Ed, I just want you to be yourself,” you sigh. You reach out to him but he slinks away before you can, "You're like, trying to be the DM version of you right now."
"Yeah but he's like, hot and confident," Ed shrugs, "I'm just...Eddie Munson, resident virgin."
"I wanna fuck Eddie Munson, resident virgin," you state plainly. His cock twitches, he thought he might even cum from hearing you say that.
"And you won't know what I like unless you ask me, don't just guess," you instruct softly. He let's you reach back out and touch him, pulling him down to lay next to you. His hand skates over your tummy and he wraps an arm around you to pull you close. The smell of your perfume and shampoo engulfs him instantly -- his brain had to be shutting down at this point.
"This is all about communicating," you assure, "Do you think you like it rough like that? Like how you were doing to me?"
"Um, I don't know," he lies, because he does like that. He thinks he likes doing it and he thinks he'd like it being done to him.
"I like it," you confessed, "Just not right now."
"Oh," he blushes, "You like when I'm rough? Just not all the time?"
"Exactly," you smile.
"So what do you like tonight?" he asks awkwardly, "Or what would you like tonight?"
"Soft," you say, pressing a kiss next to his lips, "And gentle."
You kiss him again, on the lips this time, "You."
With a newfound approach he leans in to kiss you, this he knows he’s good at because Steve overheard you tell Nancy that you ‘never got so wet from making out before’ and that it ‘made you feel like you were in high school again’. He gasps when you break away to kiss his jaw down to his neck, his hand traveling up to get entangled in your hair.
"I really like when you kiss me there," he pants out, eyes rolling when you reach a spot on his neck right above his collar bone, "Fuck."
"There?" you grin against his skin, letting your tongue run over it again before sucking on the spot eagerly.
"Fuck, yeah there," he whines, hips bucking against your thigh. You maneuver him again, crawling on top of him and he succumbs to letting you take the lead. Your hips do that deliciously evil grind over him again, and he can feel how dampened your panties are over his boxers. Each drag of your hips pulls his skin over the head of his cock, sending him hurtling closer to cumming than he anticipated. He reaches feverishly for your hips, holding you to a stop.
"Too much?" you ask. Fuck, why are you so cute?
"A little," he confesses, breaths getting heavy, hips twitching.
"Sorry, I just...I'm really horny," you whisper with a giggle, covering your face with your hand like a visor. He giggles back, shimmying down so your heat was directly over him.
"We can...you know," he says, reaching up to move your hand and place it on his chest, "We can do it."
"You sure?" you ask again.
"I'm sure," he assures, heart still thumping with nerves. He watches you lean over him, breasts directly in his face, knocking his nose, while you fish in your beside table for a condom.
"I brought some, they're in my --"
"Too late," you say, gold foil packet in hand, offering it to him while you sit back between his legs.
"You're too confident in me," he says at the sight of the Magnum XL wrapper.
"I promise I'm not," you laugh, "I've seen a lot of dicks."
You both pause.
"I mean...you...fuck, you know what I mean," you smack your hand to your forehead, "Let me shut the fuck up really quick."
He takes the condom from you and tugs down his boxers slowly, while you help him take them the rest of the way down. He sighs while he reaches down to pump himself a few times before slipping on the latex. He catches your eyes round out when you see it, your soft swallow of the saliva pooling in your mouth.
Maybe you weren't too confident in him.
It was a little tight, if he was being honest.
"I'm gonna be on top, okay?" you ask. He nods, looking at you while you slide off your underwear, nerves building in his throat. Adrenaline coursed through him like he just did a line, like he just played a show. Like you just kissed in Steve Harrington's kitchen. Like when you tasted like peach rings.
You kiss him while you get back over him, sliding over his length with your lips. Your thighs twitch when the rigidness of the underside of his cock runs over your clit.
"Ooh, fuck yes," you mutter to yourself, face crumpling with pleasure.
"That's good? You like that?" he asks, hands resting on your hips while you continue toying with yourself over him. You nod, knowing you're wet enough to take him without foreplay, which will be a different conversation for a different day.
He squirms when you take his cock by the base, guiding the tip to your entrance. "Oh, fuck, fuuuuck me," he gasps while you start sinking down on him, "Jesus fucking Christ. Shit."
He watches you sink all the way down to the base, bodies meeting again. He feels you press your weight on your hands on his chest, eyes rolling when you adjust your hips, walls tightening over him.
"Baby, I -- you're -- Jesus," he gasps, a soft groan follows suit. "Oh my god, oh my god," he hears you whine, eyes begging when he looks up at you.
"Are you okay?" he asks, nerves overriding his pleasure, "I'm sorry."
"No, no, I'm okay," you breathe out, "It's just you, fuck, you feel so good."
"I -- I feel good?" he asks, "I'm making you feel good?"
You nod over him, hips dragging up slowly and then back down, little soft gasps and moans coming out of your mouth when you lean your head back. He watches you in awe, light bursting behind his eyes and sparks going off in his belly while you pick up the pace.
"I'm -- oh my god -- I'm not doing -- shit -- I'm not doing anything," he admits, "How am I -- oh god, oh god --"
You slow down, resolving to grinding your hips slowly to answer him, "You don't have to do anything, you just...you fit like, perfectly in me."
He grabs a pillow and covers his face so you don't see him smiling like an idiot, "Are you saying I have a nice dick?"
You laugh and it sends vibrations down his shaft to his sac, his hips jump involuntarily. He feels you reach for the pillow and he grips it harder.
"C'mon, let me see you," he hears you say, relenting when that soft coaxing tone comes out of your mouth. You tuck the pillow off to the side, still sitting there with him inside of you. He puts his hands on your hips, sliding them down your thighs and then back up again.
He mumbles gently, "Can't believe you're here with me."
"I can," you smile, hips rising and falling again.
"Shit," he gasps, fingers pressing hard into the fat of your hips and back to your ass to steady you. He blanks out his mind, shaking out whatever Steve said, whatever porn he watched, whatever he read online. He lets you keep riding him until he sees stars and on instinct he wraps him arms over your hips to keep you in place and pull you to him.
"Want me to slow down?" you gasp out.
"No," he grins, planting his feet on the mattress. He bucks up into you, once, twice, three times until he gets a steady rythym. You feel like fucking heaven, and you sound like it too.
"Oh fuck, Eddie," you whine out, it's high pitched and needy. He grunts in response, chasing his high while your tits bounce in his face.
"Oh my god, oh fuck that's -- that's so good," you gasp, the end coming out in a yelp. Your nails did into his shoulders and he hisses in response, the pain feels good -- he makes a mental note of that to go back to later.
His thrusts slow as he feels himself getting closer to the edge, taking it away from him as he eases up. He wants this to last forever -- he can't even believe he's lasted this long.
"You good?" you ask, taking his face in your hands. He smiles, it's stupid, pussy-drunk.
"M'good, I'm so good," he says softly, "I wanna be on top now."
"Oh, okay," you chuckle out, "Let me just--"
You raise up off him and he whimpers at the feeling of you leaving. The cold air hitting his cock, his chest -- he feels exposed. You lay back on the mattress, legs open and spread for him while your hand travels down to rub lazily at your clit.
"You can't be serious," he whispers, "That's so hot."
"Me touching myself?" you ask.
"Yeah, you -- shit, you're a like a high preistess or some-something," he says, eyes wide with wonder while your hips squirm. He feels stupid after saying it, mentally scolding himself. You're such a fucking loser, Munson.
"Can you um," he takes a deep breath while he steadies himself between your legs, lining himself up with your opening, "Can you keep doing that while I -- do this?"
"Yeah," you nod, a whimper coming out of you when he pushes in. His body knows what to do but finding a rythym is hard at first. The caveman in him wants to just go for it, jackhammer you until he cums. He starts like that, hard and fast thrusts, grunting and moaning like an animal, hips smacking against the backs of your thighs -- but he can hear Steve in his head.
'Start slow and work your way up, try different angles -- when you feel her like...I don't know -- gush? That's when you know you're hitting it right.' 'Gush?" 'Yeah, gush. You'll know what I mean when you finally do it.'
He takes your legs, pressing them up against your chest -- a position he's definitely seen in porn. But the normal kind. The real couples kind. The kind where they're definitely in love. He readjusts, sliding back into you slowly, he smirks to himself when your eyes roll back, arms falling back to your ears.
Then he feels it.
The gush.
"Ed that feels so good," you whine, tears pricking your eyes, "You're doing so good, baby."
Eddie gasps, cock twitching wildly at the praise. His face gets white hot, biting his lip, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
You catch his reaction, letting yourself get louder for him.
"You're such a good boy, Ed," you coo between moans, "You're so good for me."
"So good," he rasps back, hips starting to snap erratically.
"Oh baby, shit, fuck, I'm gonna cum -- m'gonna fuck -- cum," Eddie grunts out, laying flush against you while he finishes out hard and fast. He groans into your ear while you feel him spasm over you and inside you, riding out his orgasm until he comes to a stop. He takes a shaky breath but he doesn't get up, his chest and shoulders continue to shake, he sniffles.
He's crying.
"Oh, no, Eddie -- baby are you okay? What's wrong?" you ask, running your hand over the back of his head. He lifts up slowly, looking at you and your concerned face, your kiss bitten lips.
It makes him want to cry more, "Oh angel, I'm sorry. I'm not sad I --"
"I just love you so much," he sniffles, laughing at the ridiculousness of this, face already wet with tears, "I love you and I've never like -- felt close to anyone like this before. M'sorry for crying. I know it's stupid --"
"It's not stupid," you smile, pulling him to your chest, "I love you, too."
He laughs again, "Do you think I'm some loser virgin for crying?"
He sighs at the feeling of your nails against his scalp again, his body still so sensitive with the aftershocks of his orgasm.
"No," you smile, "Especially not a loser virgin. Since, you know, you're not anymore."
"I guess you're right," he says into your neck.
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In the light of the three wick candle on your dresser, you both continued you lay there, naked and wrapped up in each other on your bed. You've switched around, your head on his chest and his hand stroking your hair.
"Do you uh," he starts, "Did you cum?"
You shake your head no, "I didn't, but that's okay."
"No, don't say that," he huffs, "Steve said that girls say 'it's okay' but that it's actually not."
"Psh, you really listen to everything that Steve says?" you argue.
"Well yeah, he's -- you know, he used to get girls before him and Nance were official," he says, "He wouldn't lie to me."
"Well I'm not lying to you either," you say, leaning on your side to look up at him, "It's okay."
He squints down at you, "I don't believe you."
With you on your side, he gets up on his knees again, hands finding your hips to lay them back on the bed.
"What're you doing?"
"I said, I don't believe you," he repeat, leaning down to kiss your stomach, your hip bone, the top of your pubic bone, "So I'm gonna make you cum."
"You're really confident," you say while he opens your legs to get between them.
"You think I can't?" he asks, a small frown falling onto his face.
"No, I'm sure you can," you urge, "I'm just saying, you sound really confident."
"It's sexy."
"Sexy?" he asks with a grin, kissing the inside of your knee, "I'll take it."
He looks down in the low light, your pussy still slick and glistening, still slightly puffy from earlier. No wonder guys ventured down here so often -- you looked delicious.
His fingers graze your inner thighs, making you shiver. His eyes meet yours, a devilish smirk dancing over his features, "Do you like that?"
"M'just excited," you blush, grabbing the pillow from earlier to cover your face. Eddie gets to work, laying down on his stomach, letting his lips slip and slide against your inner thighs before licking a thick flat stripe up through your lips. Your whine is loud enough to leak past the pillow, your hips grind slowly up against his mouth.
This was a skill he felt good about. He'd only done it once before a couple years ago during a really drunk hook up in the city, but he definitely didn't hear any complaints. And he figured, if he was a good kisser he had to be good at like...kissing pussy? That's how he thought about it at least.
His tongue traveled wherever he could let it go. Into your opening, against your lips, up and over the hood of your clit. He listened to your breathing, how your hips would react, the tensing in your thighs, trying to see where you liked it the best.
"Up a little higher," you instruct, pillow discarded, leaning on your forearms to look down at him. Your eyes meet and he melts, nodding while he moves up, waiting for your okay. He reaches up, the gods of cunnilingus speaking to him while he does, and pulls back the hood of your clit to lave his tongue over it.
"Ohmygod," you whisper out, head falling back on its hinge, "Don't stop."
"That's really hot," he croaks out to himself, looking at the expanse of your body above him, your exposed neck. He didn't mean to say it out loud. Fucking christ, he sounds like a teenager. He busies his mouth so he stops talking, sucking gently over you while your hips grind in time with his work.
"You can -- mm -- you can use your fingers, too," you tell him while your hand comes down to entwine in his hair. Eddie's eyes flutter closed, the gentle tug when you hit the right spots sends him reeling. His other hand comes up, tongue still flicking in alternating rhythms over your clit. He lets one finger slide in without resistence and then another -- Steve always said something about using two, but he doesn't remember, he just remembers 'curl upwards'. He pumps slow at first, your moans are getting to him, the sound hitting him right in his pelvis. The tightness of your walls around his fingers feels just as good as it was around his cock.
"Oh just like that, just like that, fuck," you gasp out. The praise sends him into a frenzy, hooking his fingers up to feel a different texture than before -- spongey, rigid.
But that's what it happens -- more than a gush. A flood, all over his fingers while your walls clench down hard on him. Hips rising off the mattress while you cum for him, whimpers and whines pouring out of your mouth.
"Easy, baby, easy," he giggles, free hand gripping your hip to ease it back down, "I got you."
You steady your breathing on the bed, feeling him detach from you, pressing soft kisses back up your tummy to your chest.
"You okay?" he asks gently.
"How," you breathe in, and out, "Did you get so good at that?"
He shrugs, "I dunno, just sort of winged it. Was I really that good?"
"You were really that good," you nod, "I came really hard."
"Fuck yeah," he nods to himself, still not realizing that he's thinking out loud, "Sick."
"Sorry," he says with an embarrassed shake of his head. You sit up, pecking him on the lips in a silent 'I love you,' and go to your dresser to throw on some pajamas. He reaches down off the bed to slide on his boxers, pulling his shirt over his head. You meet in the middle of the room and he can't help but hold you to him, feeling closer to you than he ever has. Magnetized, like you're meant to be touching at all times.
"I made brownies," you say, "They're already sliced up and in the microwave. Figured we wouldn't have time to get to dessert, so -- I prepped ahead of time."
"Is it lame to say I already had dessert?" he asks, a boyish grin showing off his teeth.
"Yes," you reply with a smile, "It is."
"Do you wanna watch Grease with me?" you ask while you walk to the door, warm light pooling into the room as you open it.
"Are you gonna say every line as it's being said like you always do?" he responds, following you out of the room, trying not to trip on Brutus who is scurrying past his feet to sleep on your bed.
"Of course I am," you say confidently, going to the kitchen to take out the plate of covered brownies in the microwave above the fridge. He takes them from you, placing them on the counter while he grabs two small plates from the cupboard above your head.
"Then I absolutely want to watch it with you," he smiles, a genuine full smile. Steve is gonna lose his fucking mind when he tells him.
Eddie Munson, resident virgin loverboy.
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munson-blurbs · 4 months ago
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@corrodedcoffinfest Day 17: This One's For You
Word Count: 541/Rating: T/Pairing: None/CW: I cried writing this, canon-compliant, breaking the fourth wall/Tags: Eddie Munson, love letter, fanfic writers
Divider credit to @silkholland
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Hey. It’s me.
C’mon…don’t be coy. You know who I am. You’ve been with me for days, weeks, months, years. I’m your rockstar, your mechanic, your dad’s best friend, your best friend’s dad. I’m a vampire, a werewolf, an ordinary guy from small-town Indiana. I’m a virgin, a sex god, a daydream, a nightmare.
I’m Eddie Munson.
Ironically, I started on a page, just some dialogue and vague gestures. A drug dealing freak with his wild curls, a love of heavy metal, and a penchant for creating sadistic D&D campaigns who somehow got dragged into a government-sponsored alternate dimension–as if one Hawkins wasn’t bad enough. But when my story was supposed to end, a chapter quietly closed amongst a sea of loss, you had just begun to pick up the pen.
Suddenly, I found myself thrust from death back into life. So many lives, as a matter of fact. Lives I never even imagined living during my long, lonely nights in the trailer park. 
From the safe haven of your hearts, I watch as you weave tales where I fall in love and achieve my wildest dreams. I cocoon myself in a light that you’ve turned on as you let me succeed, fail, and learn from my mistakes. Where I’m untethered from the judgment I’ve faced my whole life, finally free to be myself.
Some parts change: my profession, my age, my location, my sexuality, even my middle name. Other parts remain constant: my gratitude for my uncle Wayne, my love of pretzels (you eat a snack one time…), my kickass guitar playing skills. I never have to choose, because every opportunity is finally within my grasp. 
I thought it was all over on that fateful March evening. As I laid on the ground and took my final breaths, all I could think about was how I wouldn’t be able to look after my little sheep. Jeff, Grant, and Gareth would be without their lead guitarist. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas would be without their Dungeon Master. How could I leave them like this?
But then I saw it. I saw you all, a herd of lost little sheep that became shepherds. You tended to your flocks by unspooling stories. Stories that began as a whisper in your ear but found immortality because of the life and love you breathed into them. Just as I pored over song lyrics and meticulously planned campaigns, you write your stories. You write my story. My existence was never futile because it brought you all to each other.
And I’ve come to realize this: there is life after death. That cheesy saying about not truly dying until the last time someone says your name? I never understood it until I saw my name written millions of times, across one thousand universes. 
Now, my uncle may have raised a drug dealing, Satan-worshiping freak, but he also raised a gentleman. I know how to say thank you. And since I have a lot of time on my hands in the afterlife, I figured I’d learn your favorite song. All you have to do is close your gorgeous eyes and imagine my voice, just as you do when you write me. 
You ready, Sweetheart? This one’s for you. 
--
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harlowsbby · 1 year ago
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Forever Attached
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Requested, late night calls with Jack while he’s away.
“Alright I think were all done here for today I’ll see you all tomorrow morning? For rehearsals yeah?” Nemo said and almost immediately Jack was out the door and headed back to his hotel room.
“Where is he going?” Ace asked as he watched Jack quickly leave the venue.
“Yeah I haven’t seen him run off that quick in my life.” 2fo added on.
“Y’all already know he’s in a rush to call Y/N, they stay on the phone all night.” Urban said.
“Really? How do you know I thought the two of you weren’t sharing rooms this tour.” Nemo asked.
“All ima say is the walls are very very thin.” Urban shivered at thought of possibly having to hear the two of you again tonight.
Ace and Nemo gave one another a knowing look and immediately felt pity on Urban.
When Jack arrived back to the hotel he quickly made his way to his room and locked the door behind him.
He sent you a quick text stating that he was going to shower real quick and that he’d call you right after. Being away from you was one of the hardest things Jack has ever had to do.
He loved being around you and making sure you’re always around him 24/7.
After a quick wash up he turned off the water and put on a pair of gray sweats, he didn’t bother putting on a shirt. He applied some lotion and a few hair products into his hair before leaving the bathroom and flopping onto the bed.
He looked at his phone seeing you had texted him back from earlier. He went to your contact and hit the FaceTime button after a few rings you finally answered.
“Damn about time I thought your ass fell asleep.”Jack joked as your face appeared on the screen. You rolled your eyes playfully as you sat up a bit in your bed so your face would be more visible.
“Let’s not do too much now Jack or else I’ll hang up, it’s already pass my bedtime.”
He always felt guilty whenever he’d call you so late even though you reassured him that you didn’t mind, he still felt guilty keeping you up.
“You wouldn’t hang up on me.” He teased and you looked at him with a eyebrow raised. “And what makes you say that?”
“Because you miss me.” You huffed. “I do miss you but you didn’t say you missed me? Wow I guess I’m chopped liver.” You faked cried, he smacked his lips.
“Here you go you know I miss you, I’ve been talking about you to the guys all day long.”
“Oh I know Urban had sent me a few videos of you reminiscing on our little gas station runs.” He cheeks started heating up. “He did? Ima beat his ass tomorrow.” You both laughed.
“I thought it was cute I can’t wait for you to come back home, this bed gets cold when you aren’t in it to keep me warm.” You pouted and faced the camera to show his side of the bed, that was now replaced with a Winnie a Pooh bear.
“Well it doesn’t seem that empty you’ve replaced me with a stuffed animal.” He gasped which made you laugh. “You’re so silly Jack.” You smiled.
“But that’s why you love me.” You nodded.
“That’s true but I love you for many other reasons.” That last sentence had you wanting to hear more.
“You care to name a few of them?” He asked. “I think you should go first.” He smacked his lips.
“Fine, I just hope Urban can’t hear me.”
He readjusted his spot on the bed so that was he was laying flat on his stomach and holding his phone up with his right hand.
Your stomach began to flutter as you studied his face. A few of his wet curls were sticking to the side of his face and the way his eyes always seemed to shimmer like the ocean always made you so weak.
“I’m waiting.” You song sang. “How many reasons do I have to give?” You thought about it for a few seconds.
“Give me 5.” He nodded his head and thought about it.
“I love you because you’re always there for me, you’re always making sure I’m doing well even when I push you away you just never give up on me.” He said.
“Three more reasons.” He laughed.
“You make me laugh, you’re my comfort person and lastly you complete me.” He paused. “I remember telling Urban how one day I just wanna meet someone that I can love on and call mine and I’m so glad I’m able to call you mine Y/N.”
“You’re my person too Jack, I’m so glad we found one another.” He smiled as well.
“Me too baby, me too. I can’t wait to fly you out. I miss you so fucking much you have no idea.”
You grinned. “Oh yeah? What do you plan on doing when I get there.” He smirked. “I can think of a few things.”
“A few things like what?” You whispered and before Jack was able to say something a knock came from his door followed by the door being unlocked.
“Urban? Ace?! What are you two doing? And how did you get a key to my room.” You watched with a hint of glee and entertainment.
“Tell him Urban.” Ace said and pushed Urban forward. “I mean I just came to ask if you know you’d keep it down tonight I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Urban mumbled.
“What do you mean?” Jack asked and that’s when your mouth dropped in horror.
“You could hear me?!?” Jack! I thought you said you weren’t sharing rooms with Urban that’s so embarrassing.” You yelled through the phone.
“I’m not! I guess the walls are super thin.” With the two of you being away from each other and not being able to physically touch one another, phone sex was really the only option you had to satisfy your personal needs.
“And why are you here Ace?” Ace shrugged his shoulders. “I got bored and by the way you’re such a simp I heard all the reasons as to why you love Y/N.” Ace teased.
“You’re my person I just love you so much.” Urban tried mimicking Jack.
“I prayed for times like this I’m just so glad I found you.” Ace added on.
“Oh Jack you’re just so sweet! I can’t wait to give you needless kisses.” Urban mimicked you and the two of them made kissing sounds, Jack’s cheeks grew red in embarrassment.
“You know what ima knock the both of you out since you wanna be all in my business.” Urban and Ace quickly ran out the door with Jack right behind them.
“Oh, so you’re just gonna leave me here.” You spoke though the phone as Jack’s phone laid on the bed.
“Jack! Come back and get me.” You yelled and huffed before hanging up the phone call.
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actual-sleeping-beauty · 18 days ago
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about a half an hour ago i turned twenty-two. i feel a little like eeyore saying, "it's my birthday pooh," about it. hard to celebrate right now. hard to know if i can trust the people around me.
but also. for about twenty four hours now, all i have been able to think about is the newborn child of a couple i have never met and likely never will. i keep thinking about susanna wolff and caldwell tanner. i keep thinking about how their first daughter was born in december of 2020. (i am not weird or creepy for knowing this, she wrote an article in the new yorker about having a pandemic pregnancy.) i keep thinking about how their second child was born recently, almost certainly within two weeks of the election. (i am also not weird or creepy for knowing this, the birth was announced by his podcast so he can take some paternity leave.) i keep thinking about these children, about the difference in the circumstances of their births. about the world we, as a country, have decided is fit for them.
and then i keep thinking about the fact that the world keeps turning. barring something awful happening, these children will get to grow up. they will go to kindergarten and learn to read and tie their shoes. they'll learn that the world is not fair and that there's something unexplainably beautiful about light pouring through the trees in late fall and that there comes a time when you get to pull out your sweaters and get excited about clothes you had forgotten you owned and that people you love can come back into your life when you thought they were gone and that you will have favorite songs and poems and games and books and movies and and and.
i think about how every day people live their lives. an old woman i knew died last monday. twenty two years ago today i was born, too early and unprepared. every day people are living and loving and breaking. someone got married today. someone got divorced. yesterday i cried for hours and then spent two hours with my friends cheering them on in volleyball. twenty two years ago this week my parents took their incredibly ill baby to the hospital and a group of very dedicated medical professionals saved her life. twenty two years ago this week my grandmother got the call that she had breast cancer. a year ago i was diagnosed with a chronic illness. thirteen months ago i thought i might die before i saw twenty-one, let alone twenty-two. a month from now my grandfather is coming from his home, decimated by a hurricane, to watch me graduate from college.
what i'm saying is there are terrible awful things every day. there are. and yesterday was particularly awful. it's hard to know these things, to see where we are headed. but we cannot succumb. no nos podemos rendir. we cannot. the world needs us. we need us. there are so many quotes for this moment, and i am a magpie who collects shiny phrases instead of metals. i want you to say it with me - come on now, do it; i am trusting you with my earnestness. Hope is the thing with feathers. the light-soaked days are coming. we're here because we're here because we're here because we're here. unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it's not.
or, perhaps more appropriately, i'll instead quote caldwell's friend, creating one of the most lovely scenes i have ever heard with him in a dnd game, shortly before the events of susanna's article:
you are afflicted with duty... the world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. what an honor. what an injustice.
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castleofclouds · 2 months ago
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NCT Dream as your exes.
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In which you and dreamies broke up and how they act after breaking up from you, this story heavily inspired by my TBDE series, go check it out! I need this story to be knows and continues tbh :')
Songs recommend ;
MARK.
When it comes to break up, Mark isn't an expertise, he knew nothing about how to cope with break up, he either spend time crying on every movie ending or he just ended up spending too much time getting you out of his minds, he loved listening to your favorite songs and playlists that you shared with him in hope you still think of him every time you see your playlist, or any songs you both used to listen to, he felt scared to watch any romance movies for a while because he can't help himself to be jealous, why do they get a good ending? While both of you aren't? He hated the idea of romance, and that's bad for him, why? Because he spends all of his life learning about love and romance, how can he hated them now?
RENJUN.
If there's someone more denial than Renjun, they lied. Because he is the more denial person on the earth, he said he didn't care where are you now, with who you have been right now, how have you been, he would spend everyday looking at his message box wishing there's at least a simple text from you, if he could he would spend all of his days seeing your account, one time someone tried to flirt with you on the comments of your post, he gives the poor man a whole text about how he didn't have a chance, he would often draw you, even when he is busy he could still remember every little small things, like how you like your sweets or how you like your latte taste like.
JENO.
Jeno were different, he looks totally fine for most of the days, he looks like someone who are totally fine without you, his life still continued, with or without your presence, but that's mostly lasted for a few weeks before he started missing your presence, he found himself purchasing your favorite scent and sprayed all over his house just to feel you are still his, even after he met new people, he still feels your lingering touch behind his neck, he felt like you would always come back at him and hug him tight like you always do, calling his names when in needs, but nothing, his bed felt strangely cold, he miss you at last.
HAECHAN.
He felt like he did you so wrong, guilty kept him by night every time he remembered, he felt like nightmare every time he thinks about how you two broke up, his house felt like it wasn't his, but yours, so many miniatures of yours in here, your mug that you left untouched, you favorite hair clip, your cute teddy bear, everything remind him of you, every time he tried to talk to you, you always ended it short, even after he moved he felt like his house were always gonna be yours. You are always welcomed as you always were.
JAEMIN.
for most case, Jaemin doesn't knew what he had missing, because he already went through the most heartbreaking break up before, well, not actually break up, but his partner left him wounded so he doesn't think breaking up with you was any worse, well he couldn't be more wrong, he never felt this empty in his life, he always found himself talking to your shadows as if you are still next to him but you weren't and he felt more dissapointed by that, he would always enjoy small things you both like, he found himself looking at your photo album more than he thinks he would, every time he cried he would talk to your photo, wishing you can talk to him again.
CHENLE.
Chenle thinks what happened are for the best, then why do he felt like he regretted it the more days passed? He found himself to be more productive, he would always start practicing the first and left the field at last minute, every time he walk back to his apartment, he wished he could send you all of the new things he found in China, why do he thinks he can live without you? He sighed at that thought, he should've asked for continuing this relationship, but rice had been a porridge, what happened had happened and he couldn't do anything about it.
JISUNG.
He hated you, more than he thinks he would, but do he have to do this? Breaking up? It is hurting him, but without you it's more hurting, every time he thinks it's what's the best for the both of you he would reconsider his thought again, sometimes he wished he could just hate you, but he can't, he would spend times on his balcony wishing to falling stars to always keep you save and both of you can meet again, when his feelings had gone, and you had continued with your life. As he wished to every stars to keep you save wherever you were staying.
Masterlist.
A/N.
so hello, missed making this fun reaction things, or scenarios? I just post a new series in my account, and I'm happy many people like it, y'all are the best 🥺 but if yall want more just click at the top, you will find my masterlist to TBDE series, because you I continue write again after YEARS not back to here, but I missed making this kinda thing, I kinda have some draft on the TBDE series too, so be sure to follow the series to understand the meaning of this scenarios! Btw TBDE is actually shorter for To All The Boys I've Dated Before, so it's kinda make senses if I make this don't I? Writing about this as I listen to Lauv, I love Lauv tbh, he is my second favorite artist beside Ariana Grande, I need more Mean It kinda songs tbh, I need to get that ANGSTY mood because writing about TBDE making me realise I don't have the quality of making angst :') anybody would love to teach me?
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scarletwinterxx · 1 year ago
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bigger than the whole sky - haechan imagine
helloooo, i think a few months ago i wrote a haechan dad scenario. but after watching The Lost Boys, it made more emotional🥺 our hyuck would surely be the best dad in the future💛
here's a sequel to that scenario😊
pt. 1 - Lee and Lily
if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.
and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)
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There are many things you admire about your husband, from his cheekiness to his voice to his assuring words. But one thing you love the most about him now, something you only found out after your daughter was born, is how great of a father he is.
Haechan is very busy with work but he is a family man above all. You and Nari comes first. Which is why he decided to take the duty of driving and picking Nari up from school.
"You sure you want to do it?" you ask him the first day he did it
"Yea, gives us more daddy-daughter time. Take the morning for yourself" he tells you, kissing you on the forehead
"You know she loves you right? I know you, the wheel are turning in there" you tell him, weaving your fingers around his neck and playing with the ends of his hair
The moment Haechan found out you were pregnant, he vowed to always be there for your child. He always dreamt of being a father, a father who will always be there for their kid. And he has, but there are still times he feels like he missed too much because he's too busy with his career.
"Times flies by so fast, she used to fit right in my arm. Now she's running around, and she talks more than me. Would you believe that"
You chuckle at his words. She does have the talent to talk your ear off, she's now at that age where everything ends with a "why?" question.
"Daddy, why is the sky blue?" "Mommy, why do the fishy float?" "Daddy, why is this sweet and that one yucky?" referring to salt and sugar
Just some of the daily questions of Lee Nari.
But really that girl can ask you why water is wet every breakfast and you still wouldn't have it any other way.
And so the tradition started. Haechan is now on school duty while you stay at home.
"She does this cute thing when I drop her off, she goes bye bye daddy I love you" he tells you one day.
"How many times have you cried in the car after she said that?" you tease him
"Like 2 maybe 3, the first time was the worst. After she said it, she just walked away and left me"
"Stop being dramatic, she was just going to pre-school" you laugh
"The other day she asked me why was the sun chasing us when we were driving to school"
"What did you say?"
"Can't remember, something along the lines of 'the sun likes nice people'. I'm running out of answers" he tells you dramatically, making you chuckle once again.
It's been months since that routine started. the two Lee's enjoying the quick drive from and to school. Haechan would play his favorite songs while Nari sings along, his heart swelling with pride as he listens to his daughters singing.
One particular morning, it unexpectedly got hectic. You left earlier than the two due to do some errand and get a quick checkup. While on their way to school, Haechan got an urgent call from work.
"I just got here at Nari's school, why?" he waited until he was infront of the school and the car on stop before answering the call. He spots the teacher who welcomes the student every morning and fetch them outside, waving over to them and opening the backseat door.
Haechan was still busy on the phone while Nari waits, her teacher ushers her inside as Haechan smiles and wave as his daughter walks away.
Just as he was about to pull up on the driveway to get his stuff ready for work, he received another call this time from you.
"Yes?" he answered
"Did you drive Nari today?"
Confused, he answered your question "Yes, I just dropped her off. Why did something happen at school?". He didn't even wait for your answer, already starting the engine once again to drive back to her school
"Her teacher just called me, she was bawling her eyes out apparently. Had a mini melt down when you didn't say goodbye to her"
Just then Haechan remembered their little tradition. Feeling his blood run cold, he didn't say i love you to Nari and now she's sad.
"Oh my Nari, I'm driving back there"
"No need, I'm like 5 minutes away from the school. I'll handle it. You have a meeting today too" you tell him
"But-" he tries to protest
"It'll be fine, we'll see you later okay"
How can he focus on work when all he can think about is how he made his little girl upset. When you got home from Nari's school, it wasn't a surprise to see your husband sitting on the living room couch. Nothing but silence inside the house.
"Hey, she's fine now" you say, catching his attention
"I really didn't mean to forget, I was on the phone. I waved goodbye to her, I guess it flew my mind" he tells you, you can tell he's just as upset as Nari was.
You shot him a small smile before walking towards him. Immediately he opens his arms, hugging you around the waist while you pat his head lovingly.
"If it makes you feel any better, I forgot her favorite blanket the other day and she said she felt upset with me" you hear him chuckle from below you
"But then she hugged me and said it was okay. Our little girl doesn't have a single bone of hate in her body so don't worry too much okay? You're her favorite person ever" you added
"What if all she'll ever remember is me forgetting to say I love you to her?" he asks, looking up at you.
Sighing, you pull away to sit beside him but Haechan pulls you over to make you sit on his lap. Like he just needed your comfort right now.
"What she'll remember is how good of a father you are, how you practically hung the stars in the sky. You've always been the best dad, don't go doubting it now" you tell him, cradling his face in your hands.
Your words are always enough to wash away any doubt he has. It's a magic you posses. With that, he feels a lot better.
"She'll be home in a few hours, why don't we go and pick her up? Meanwhile, go do some work" you tell him, giving him a quick kiss before standing up.
A few hours later, the two of you drove to pick up Nari. You go to the front office to get her while Haechan waits outside, holding a bouquet of flowers for his little girl.
You and Nari walk outside hand in hand. Haechan thought she was going to be mad at him but the moment Nari sees her dad, she made a dash towards him. Immediately Haechan kneels down to catch her in a tight hug. Picking her up and hugging her close to him.
"Hi baby, dad's so so so sorry about this morning. Sorry I forgot to say I love you" he mumbles, the little Lee just hugs him for a while. You got to where the two were standing, taking the flowers from Haechan so he could carry Nari more comfortably.
Nari pulls back to look at her dad, the two of you waiting for what she has to say
"I got sad because I didn't get to say I love you to dad" she pouts
"You got sad because you didn't say I love you to me?" Haechan asks back, Nari nodding at her father's question
"Oh lovebug, you don't have to be sad about dad. I know you love me very very much" he tells her
"But I always say it to you"
You smile at your husband and your little girl. Loving hearing their argument of who loves more.
"Even when you don't tell daddy, I already know. But okay, I promise to not leave you until you say it to me. How does that sound?"
"Okay, I love you daddy" she says then hugs Haechan again.
"I love you, more than anything in this world, my Nari" he looks over at you, mouthing the same words to you.
You sent him a smile. Guiding the two over to the car,
"Okay now that's done, what do you want for dinner?" you ask the two
"Kimchi fried rice!" you hear the tiny voice say from the backseat.
"You heard the girl" you chuckle
"I'll cook you the best kimchi fried rice, it will be the best ever" Haechan says, starting the car and driving away. The conversation continues, with Nari's endless stories and wonders while the two of you answer.
He looks over at you, taking your hand and giving it a quick kiss. Just then you hear Nari's voice again,
"Mom, is the moon sleeping during the day?"
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columboscreens · 1 year ago
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heya. i was wondering what your favorite columbo episodes are where columbo knows who the killer is really quickly and then spends the rest of the episode putting the thumbscrews on and teasing them to hell and back. any suggestions?
whether you think of columbo as an eldritch supernatural entity or a regular human guy, a lot of people assert that he always knows who the killer is right off the bat.
i'm of the opinion that he forms very strong hunches based on early clues, but doesn't make certain assumptions until more evidence accumulates. there's a lot of boring legwork that we don't see simply because columbo is a good show that tends to avoid unnecessary exposition, and the episodes do have to fit within 70-90 minute timeframes. but there is rigor with which he gathers information, forms hypotheses, and tests them. he can have his convictions shaken, even if only temporarily. he can be led completely astray as seen in columbo cries wolf. he's not perfect.
sometimes though, columbo is indeed so intuitive and the murderer so stupid that the man slam dunks his person of interest in minutes if not seconds. here are a few standouts to me:
rx murder: a baby-faced columbo watches as a man enters his residence after a long trip without his wife and doesn't even say hello to her. columbo, an ardent Wife Lover, cannot comprehend this and immediately skewers the man for it.
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oh, you didn't love your wife? couldn't be me
etude in black: local genius alex benedict leaves big fat flower at scene of crime for columbo to spot immediately.
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okay this is actually embarrassing. you fucking fool. imbeclie. rube
suitable for framing/double shock/greenhouse jungle/death hits the juckport: how many times can insufferable dickhead nephews kill their rich uncles. and vice versa.
mind over mayhem: ten minutes flat. real know real, cigar smoker know cigar smoker
candidate for crime: columbo rides nelson hayward's ass immediately, emphatically, and unrelentingly merely because the light was off in his garage. especially satisfying episode since hayward is a politician and annoying as fuck
swan song: columbo collects some eyebrow-raising evidence at the crash (cash?) site before he's quite literally told who the murderer is by johnny cash's insane squirrel-munching brother-in-law
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when some guy just does your job for you
troubled waters: robert vaughn's errant pillow feather in a sterile sick bay immediately solves the case for columbo, who, funnily enough, met him before he'd even killed anyone. the rest of the episode is just us fawning over columbo sweating in a crisp brown polyester hawaiian shirt while LARPing as sherlock
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very nice shading on these warmups sir. but why'd ya drawr em so tiny
try and catch me: columbo has read an agatha christie book
murder under glass: slimy french chef who arrives to the scene immediately when called by police seems wholly unconcerned about having shared a meal with a poisoned man and thus implicates himself expeditiously
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helioslover · 11 months ago
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CHERRY - CL16
PAIRING : singer!charles leclerc x actress!reader SUMMARY : you listen to the song charles has written about you for the first time. you hate how in love with him you are. WORD COUNT : 4.4k TW : angst, mentions of alcohol, breakup, sex SONG : cherry - harry style
You hate planes. You also hate being too shy to ask the stewardess for a night mask so that you could sleep through the flight. You hate knowing who’ll be picking you up at the airport. You also hate the way you're happy to see a familiar face in a country where you don’t know anyone, even if it is this familiar face. But you mostly hate the way you're eager to see Charles.
You have spoken a lot through the last few months, and you think that maybe the heartache you've felt for so much time has finally healed. Charles' has been staying in Monaco -he now splits his time between there and London - for a couple of weeks as he is recording some new songs for the next album. As unbelievable as it sounds, you have meticulously avoided any of Charles' new songs until now. The only one you're familiar with is Sixteen but you know that title tracks aren’t the ones Charles puts his entire soul in. You aren't ready to hear the brown-haired boy that used to drive you crazy sing about another woman. Yes, you've seen the pictures of Charles and Alexandra and yes, you've cried in your pillow until your body felt so dry that there were no tears left to cry.
“What do you mean you’ve never listened to my songs ever since we broke up ?” Charles had looked so shocked when you told him the truth (not the part about crying yourself to sleep, no, you didn’t mention this) that you had laughed. “Not even the ones from Fast Cars ? We were still talking when I released Fast Cars, Y/N !” His voice sounded raspy and you remembered that it was still early and that Charles had never been a morning person.
“Why are you up so early ?” you were clearly trying to avoid the subject.
“You called me, you idiot. I only answered because it was you. But now, I’m considering the option of hanging up. I mean… I’m not trying to brag but where were you for the last four years ? My songs have been everywhere.”
You chuckled. “Oh for fuck’s sake, I know that. You have no idea how annoying it is to avoid your songs at parties, on the radio, on TV, everywhere, you’re fucking everywhere, dude.”
“Don’t dude me. I think we're a bit closer than that, Y/N.” He was smiling at the camera, showing off his dimples. Behind him was a patchwork of photos, posters and movie tickets hanging on a beige wall. You tried to imagine the rest of the room. “Don’t think I’m forgetting what you just admitted. Mon Dieu,” he sighed overdramatically, “how would you react if I said I never watched any of your movies, huh ?”
You rolled your eyes. “I never said that I didn’t know any of your songs, Charles. I know some of them. But, I hate saying this, I kind of did not want to hear you sing about other people. See what I mean ? It’s alright when it’s from a time where you didn’t even know I existed, I mean some of yours are probably part of my favourite songs, but not when it’s- not when I-”.
“When what, Y/N ?” Charles asked, his voice softened as if he understood how hurt you would feel by hearing songs that weren’t about you.
“Nothing, just leave it. And don’t even try to pretend you’ve seen all of the things I act in. I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard about half of them.”
Charles was now smiling again. “I’ve seen all of them, Y/N. And you were good in every single one of them.”
Something broke inside of your heart because Charles' voice sounded like a warm hug. His statement somehow seemed like a proof that you weren’t the only one to find it hard to get rid of what you felt. And somehow, you hated it. “I gotta go. See you.” And you hung up. You were feeling too many things at the same time. You hated it.
You hate delay. Your plane hasn’t taken off yet and you're already bored. Your neighbor looks like he could be somewhere between fifty and eighty-four and it’s too cloudy to see anything through the window. Your book is not as interesting as it looked like and you know you haven’t downloaded enough playlists. You hate it, not knowing what to do.
You checks your phone to see if Charles has seen your previous message, warning him about your flight being late.
‘its ok, ill still pick you up, y/nickname.’
You smile. Even after all this time, you still don’t know if you hate or loves it when Charles uses your nickname. Another text appears on the screen.
‘since you have time, listen to my favourite one.’
There’s a link leading to a Spotify song and you download it, right before the pilot finally announces that the plane is about to take off. You put on your headphones, press play and instantly, as the first notes of the guitar resonate in your ears, cry.
Don't you call him baby [...] Don't you call him what you used to call me
The first time you called Charles baby wasn’t intentional. You recall the exact moment it slipped out of you mouth and the look Charles gave you after. You were about to have dinner with his mom and his brothers in Charles' flat and you hated how stressed you felt about truly meeting his family even though you'd already been introduced.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you have to warn me about, huh ?” you asked Charles for the hundredth time as you put on a blue shirt that made you look older than you were. Dinner was ready, Charles was too : the only one that was still changing her outfit (for the fourth time already) was you.
“Y/N, I told you : you have nothing to worry about. And you met them already, it’s not like they’re complete strangers.” Charles said from the kitchen where he was setting up the table.
You sighed. You couldn’t help it. The last time you'd seen Charles' family, you were just the girl who starred in his debut movie with him, not the girl he fucked every night. “Maybe blue isn’t my colour, don't I look kind of pale ?" you asked as you joined the kitchen.
“Shh, you’re making me crazy. You look perfect, just like you always do.” Charles handed you a glass of wine. He was wearing a red jacket on some beige pants and looked good. Like really good. “Drink this, it’ll help you.”
The wine was good, really good, and Charles' hands massaging your shoulders felt even better. You hated how Charles always seemed to know what you needed.
“Jesus, baby, this feels good.” The word flew out of your lips so naturally you didn’t even notice at first.
“What did you call me ?”
Your cheeks were turning red under Charles' sharp green eyes. You had seen this look before and knew exactly what usually came right after. “I- um, baby ?”
Charles took a deep breath. His body had gotten closer to yours. “And she does it again, Jesus, Y/N.”
You didn’t exactly understand why such a simple word had such an effect on Charles but you liked it. You liked having this power over him when you usually were the one looking like a middle-school girl talking to her crush for the first time. You felt a knot forming in your stomach, getting eager for a contact with Charles' skin. “Well, baby is gonna have to calm down. At least for now.” you answered, smiling wickedly.
Charles lost his smile. “Y/N. Stop it or I swear I’ll-” The doorbell had rung. Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were there.
We're not talking lately
You hate the fact that every line in this song seems directly aimed at youYou. He clearly remember Charles telling you this one word for word. It happened a couple of weeks after your breakup, after you'd moved out of Charles' London flat and had taken all of your things, even the ones you'd always left behind during your previous crises. You never really believed that this time was going to be the real one, that all of the years you'd spent around Charles were on the verge of becoming memories and nothing more. You couldn't even remember the reason you had started fighting. All you knew was that words couldn’t be unsaid and that you couldn’t look at Charles without remembering all the things that had been yelled that infamous night. So you had packed your bags in the middle of the night and had left.
Charles hadn’t called. For about a week, all you could do was look at your phone every ten minutes, hoping for a message, a missed call notification (though it would’ve been merely impossible for you to miss that call), something that would prove you that Charles cared about your relationship. You had walked away so that Charles would realise that he couldn't keep on treating you like you were granted and you had ended up losing it all.
Weeks had gone by without a word from the man you now called your ex. And then weeks had turned into months. Tabloids had sparked dating rumours of Charles and some amazingly pretty girls and it looked like the 'Y/N' chapter had quickly been forgotten. You had felt like an idiot until you'd received the long awaited message.
‘hey y/n, i hope you’re doing good. we’re not talking lately but i just needed you to know that i miss you’
Your heart had stopped beating. Or had it started beating faster ? You had felt like your insides were burning and your mind stopped functioning. It’d been so long since Charles had gone out of the picture that you weren’t even waiting for a sign anymore. You'd started moving on, helped by some of your friends who, tired of hearing complaints about the way things should’ve been, had decided that you had to create a Tinder profile. You'd been on dates, you'd met men that were willing to fill you heart with pure joy and some who were just willing to fill you. But you'd taken what you wanted from both categories and you'd stopped aching with the simple sight of Charles' name on a billboard.
But this message, it wasn’t supposed to ever be sent, it was too late now. It disrupted every plan you'd made to deal with the loss of the one you'd thought would be the love of his life. So you did what you believed was the best to do for your heart. You never answered.
I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it You hated it but you still knew every single part of Charles by heart. You'd learned over the years how to decipher every single one of his expressions, even the ones Charles thought nobody would notice. You knew what a half-smile meant, what the subtle frown hid and what the quick eyes puckering could be translated as. And this particular knowledge of Charles' feelings also meant that you totally knew that he was lying when he was claiming to be really happy for you. Charles hated it, he wanted to disappear, to go back in time and never let you leave because he’d never been as happy as you'd made him ever since. You knew that, you could read in the discrete clenching of his jaw.
You weren’t supposed to meet, not more than two years after your last interaction. Charles' message had been left unanswered and he’d never sent another. But awards season was always the theatre of a lot of unwanted encounters.
Charles was as beautiful as ever in his white turtleneck and black pants. His eyes sparkled when they met yours and there was nothing you could’ve done to avoid the conversation.
“You look quite good, Y/N.” You shivered, you hated the way your entire body still reacted to the simple sound of Charles' voice. “How’ve you been ?”
“I- erm…” You hated yourself for having to clear your throat, “I’ve been alright, thanks for asking. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. I thought you were on tour.”
Charles smiled when you admitted knowing his schedule. “Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to come but then they sent the guest list and I don’t know, I guess I figured I’d stop by.” He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was openly flirting with you.
You hated the way you'd missed out on most of the ceremonies because you did not feel ready to face Charles. You'd been right. The sight of Charles' ringed fingers, his grown hair, the sparkle in his eyes, the smelling of his very own scent that hadn’t changed a bit ; it all made you weak. You just knew by the look on Charles' face that you were sharing the same thought : how could you have let go of what you had ?
"Well I’m glad you’re here.” You weren’t, but you hoped you weren’t as easy to decipher as Charles was so that you could keep the act on long enough to be convincing. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to win every single one of these things. You always do.” This last part was genuine : Charles was one of the most talented people you knew and even though you had no idea what his new album sounded like, you were pretty confident it was good.
“Oh thanks, Y/N. I’d be surprised if your movie didn’t win anything tonight. How ‘bout we go out after that, huh ? I mean, if I get to win something and to see you, this night might become the best I’ve had in a while.” His green eyes were reflecting a malicious light that almost made him look mischievous. You felt a knot forming in your stomach. You knew it was physically impossible to refuse Charles' offer but also knew how bad of a choice it would be. You were stuck weighing pros and cons in your mind, well aware that your silence was getting a bit too long. You hated the way Charles' presence made it almost impossible for you to think straight.
Your phone rang in you pocket, a sort of a way out you clung to. “Hi, baby, where are you ?” On the other end of the line, Daniel, your new boyfriend – was it really a boyfriend if the only thing you shared was an appreciation for each other’s body and a fear of being entirely alone ? – answered but you didn’t listen to anything he was saying. Instead, you focused on Charles' visible frown and the tears that he was fighting back. He mouthed something that looked like “I’ll see you”, though you both knew it wasn’t true and left without ever looking back. It took you a couple of seconds to process what had just happened before you were able to concentrate on what you were being told.
What Charles never let you know – perhaps because he hated how uncontrollable his feelings for you were – was how big of a mess your encounter had turned him into. He then fully understood that he’d lost you, that it was over, your love had supposedly died when he still believed he would be able to bring it back to life. He hated himself for being selfish, for hating it when you looked so well, for being the one unable to get over it. His wound was still bleeding when yours seemed to have already healed, at least from what he’d seen. And it was at that moment, as he was curled up on his bed, wondering if he was a bad person for hating the way you could be happy without him, that Charles started writing Cherry.
[...]
You hate the way your eyes will look reddish and puffy for the rest of the flight as much as you hate the tears that are running down your cheeks. You secretly hope your neighbour won’t notice your unease and replay Cherry. You already know you've missed out on some lyrics and you don’t want to. You want to hear every single one of Charles' words, the ones that seemed to have been written only for you to hear.
And suddenly, you hate the fact that other people have been able to hear this song (even more so that they did it before you). It feels like such an invasion of Charles' intimacy, of what he has shared with you. Everything sounds so obvious – from the lyrics to the title, reminding you of how you'd learnt a French endearment and always used it to call Charles : chéri, chéri, chéri – it’s an open window on your relationship and the way its ending was handled, the effect you had on Charles.
But then, now that you think about it, you also come to the realisation that, except for those of your friends that know and the few people in Charles' life that are aware of the two-year-long relationship you had, no one knows that you and Charles even kept in touch once the promotion of your movie ended. It’s not an absurd logic : you don’t think Charles has ever seen any of the other actors in years. And this, the fact that for the majority of people, what you had never existed, brings more tears to your eyes. Nothing in the song gives off any hint on who it is written to for people who’re not close to Charles. You somewhat feel deceived. As much as you hate the feeling of losing some privacy, you hate the fact that you can’t really brag about this song being about you. It is a beautiful song, you have the right to feel quite proud of inspiring it.
It must be the fourth time Cherry replays when you catch on some line and realize that, intentionally or not, Charles has left a hint as to who’s the song about. It is not really obvious but you know how fans are eager to decipher any small details.
I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress
You had hated this interview. Six months had eventually gone by after Charles' last attempt of talking to you when Alex and Lily had shown you the extract. You were in their apartment, sharing a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes, having just learnt that Alex had gotten the role in the movie he’d auditioned for.
“I never thought he was hurting as much as you did before I saw this” he had said, lighting another cylinder. His living room was already full of smoke. “but I swear, I might not be the closest to Charles, but I’d never seen him look so sad, Y/N” he had added as he was searching the video.
It was one of Yuki Tsunoda’s restaurant interviews. Charles looked as good as ever and you had hated the way you'd had to repress a smile from appearing on your face. Something looked different but you couldn’t point out what it was. In the restaurant, Yuki asked Charles about his fashion style evolution. You couldn’t figure out why Alex wanted you to watch this.
“I don’t really think I tell myself : oh yeah, this is the kind of style that I’m going to go for. I truly believe that my outfits are a way of expressing the way I feel and also that the people who surround me have a great influence on the way I dress. I mean, you asking that is funny because right this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I started thinking of the way, you know,” and suddenly, in a matter of moments, Charles' eyes had started shining from tears that threatened rolling down his cheeks. His voice sounded hoarse and full of sobs, “there’s quite literally a piece of the person I love in how I dress. I still have some clothes that I used to steal from our closet and that I forgot to give back. Like this,” Charles pointed at his sweater, “this one’s Y/N's but I love it”.
The name had slipped out of his mouth but neither he, nor Yuki, seemed to have noticed, too focused on his emotions (Charles had to actually wipe a tear) to care. But you had noticed and so had others. So had Alex and Lily.
But this wasn’t what had retained most of your attention. There was no point in lying but you had hated the way you'd loved hearing Charles refer to you as the person he loved.
I just miss your accent and your friends
It happened once. Between their infamous encounter which had led to Charles starting to write Cherry and the day he finished the song, you and Charles had only talked once. 
You had broken up more than two years ago and yet, you couldn’t say that you were over Charles. It would’ve been safer to just say that you'd just learned to live without him. But you'd gotten pretty good at it. It struck you sometimes at night and you would find yourself crying in your pillow. But then, you were able to go on for days and weeks without thinking about Charles. Things still reminded you of what you had shared but it did not make you automatically cry anymore. It was pretty much like learning how to live with a missing limb. You can live without it, sometimes you can even forget that it’s not there, but somehow it always feels like something should be here and isn’t. 
That’s what you tried to explain to Alex as you were heading for the bar in which Carlos and Pierre were waiting for you. All of you had met while filming the movie Carlos directed. Alex, Pierre and you starred in it as well as Charles who also created the soundtrack. You all got awards for it. 
“You guys are so late it should be illegal.” Pierre said as he tried to look annoyed. His face almost immediately broke into a smile. “I’m glad to see you.”
You laughed as you sat down next to him, a pint of beer already waiting on the table. “We all know it’s because of Alex.”
"Shut it, Y/L/N."
“Well, at least, you’re not as late as Charles. He’s the worst.”
Your eyes went wide hearing Charles. Except for Alex, none of the boys knew how hard it was for you to get through this breakup. They all believed you when you swore to be over him. You couldn’t blame them for inviting him, you just had to play pretend. “Oh, erm… I didn’t know he was coming tonight, I-I thought he was still in Monaco.”
It was Pierre who had told you that Charles was now splitting his time between the two cities and you had felt a sort of relief mixed with this silly feeling of regretting the way things had become. 
“Oh no, he’s not. Speaking of the devil !”
You didn’t even have to raise your eyes to feel Charles' gaze planted on you. Yet you did and for a minute, as your eyes crossed, it felt like there was no one else but the two of you in the entire pub. He was still as beautiful as ever, just like you remembered him to be, but something had changed. Charles was no longer the young man you'd known, he’d grown into a real man and was now entering his golden age. It saddened you to realise that you were both evolving without the other one to witness the changes but it quickly faded away as you felt your stomach twisting with desire. 
“God, I missed you guys !” Charles almost cried after breaking eye contact with you, something that seemed to have cost him an effort.
You internally thanked your friends for being so chatty. The night had been going on for a while now without requiring too much effort from you. You mostly drank, comfortably seated in the settee and squeezed between Pierre and Carlos. You also tried to discreetly check Charles out, though you weren’t really sure your glances had gone unnoticed. You couldn’t resist it. It felt so weird to see him, just a couple of metres away from you. 
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here.” God, you hated unisex bathrooms. His green eyes met yours through the mirror. His cheeks were a bit reddish and you couldn’t say if it was because you were here or it simply resulted from the heat of the pub.
“You mean, here as in the toilettes, sorry, in the bathroom or here in the pub ?” You knew he was tipsy from the casualness of his voice. Charles squinted as your gaze took an inquisitive look. “Are you mad at me ? For coming ?”
“I”m not.” A sigh escaped your mouth. The water was still running from the tap. “What are you doing here, Charles ?” 
“I don’t know.” You were now side by side.
“I had forgotten about this you know, the way you squeeze French words in the middle of sentences. It's funny, I guess I just miss your accent and that, being there with our friends.” You could imagine the heat of Charles' skin and the way his lips would feel if he kissed you just right here. You shook you head ; Charles wasn't the only one affected by alcohol but you weren’t just tipsy, you were completely drunk. 
“Oh, really.” He was trying not to sound unsettled, you knew it. “Is that your way of saying that you just miss me ?”
You chuckled and his green eyes sparkled. “You get to choose, Charlie. Is that your way of telling me you’re missing me too ?”
You hated the way you had missed the taste of Charles' lips and how his hands clung to you body when you kissed. The water was still running from the tap. 
[...]
“Did you like it ?” Charles is literally glowing under the Monégasque sun. His skin is a little tanned and you love how weak in the knees it makes you feel. You're in his garden, drinking beers and smoking. The sky is so blue it seems endless. You love the way it feels like summer. 
“What are you talking about ?” Charles' hand strokes you bare arm gently as you're laying on the grass. You're so relaxed you're not even thinking about the hours you spent crying on the plane. Your eyes are still reddish and puffy, though. 
“Cherry. Did you like it ? I mean, you obviously cried but I hope it is because you regret boycotting me during all these years.” 
“I hated it.” You answer, eyes closed. You can feel Charles' body shifting. He’s now looking at you from upon you guess since you feel his breath crashing on your face. “As much as I hate you.” You add, smiling. 
This time, it’s Charles who kisses you. You love how there’s nothing to hate.
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1d1195 · 1 year ago
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how are our balcony babies 🥹🥹 pls tell me theyre doing well
AWWW I love them. They were my first little mini-series that I didn't have pre-written when i logged back on after a super long depressed-hiatus lol. Let me go back and see where I left them. I think they were on the balcony, right? Surely they were...
Nope, it was the bathroom hehehe (The Balcony)
Okay, let's see.
They're definitely doing well. But it had almost been a year from when they met so I think it's safe to assume it's been another full year. So I think they're talking about moving into just one of the apartments but it's a whole ordeal because if they move into one place then they lose one of their pretty balconies.
"But...the balconies?"
"I know kitten, believe me. I know."
Because how do they decide? Because her balcony is where Harry saw her dancing while she did her chores in her underwear and kickstarted their real relationship. It's also the one where they christened it with the first of many times they had covert sex in their own little balcony bubble. His balcony is where he wrote songs about her smile. Where he pulled her into his arms to dance with her on the anniversary that he told her loved her. (And where she gave him one of the most earthshattering orgasms that she promised at the end of the last chapter.)
What she would really like to do is knock the wall down between the two places but two kitchens would be excessive and obviously they don't own the building. Half of her belongings were in Harry's place and half of his stuff was in hers. It didn't feel like two separate places. They melded together so effortlessly the moment they met it was almost seamless in their relationship. She would sometimes come home from work and go to Harry's apartment and get settled into making dinner and watching TV while it cooked before she realized Harry was in her apartment doing laundry for the two of them.
But Harry is also thinking about kids they might have in the future and he knows they can't live in an apartment for the rest of their lives so he broaches the idea they get a house. However she is so distraught with the idea of abandoning both balconies all together she nearly cries and Harry has to snuggle with her for an hour on the lounge chair out there before she calms down a bit.
Rationally she knows he's right--they need a house. Especially because she has a piece of plastic in her pocket that has two little pink lines on it.
She has been waiting for the perfect time to tell Harry that their little escapades have resulted in a little one already growing inside her. She's nervous because they've very briefly talked about kids but always felt it was a future plan and part of her is worried Harry might not want to do this right now.
But now they have to move either into one of the apartments or find a place and she knows, that of course, there is a right option. "Harry," she murmurs after she's calmed down.
"Yes, kitten," he kisses her forehead.
"We need a house."
"We don't have to...if y'don't want to--"
"No," she sighed pulling the plastic wand out of her pocket. "We need a house."
Harry is staring at it for a second trying to put the pieces together but he's so overwhelmed with love he can hardly breathe. "Kitten, we need t'get married," he murmurs and slides his way down the chair, pulls her shirt over his head and begins kissing her tummy over and over and over again chatting to the microscopic essence of what will be the perfect blend of them in just nine short months.
"Can the house have a balcony?" She asks letting harry talk to her stomach--even though he's barely on the lounge chair and he looks down right insane hiding under her shirt.
"Of course, m'love. It can have anything you want. You're giving me everything."
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