#there's so much about myself i learned when i was finally living alone bc i had to like. make my own choices about stuff

[queenerdloser]

i feel like you learn so much about yourself as an adult when you live alone and if there's one thing i ironclad know about myself is that i fucking hate overhead lights so much.

[akq96618]

[ 💜💛🖤❤🤍💙]

+

(this is just my rambles , pls scroll if u dont want to read jdakjsa ;-;)

ok i'm not good at it, but i'll try to be more serious.

King Ohger is my first sentai after about…10? 11? years since i watch toku as a kid (for sentai, i used to watch shinkenger and power rangers dino force). I start to watch toku again last year because of KR Den-O, simply just bcs i want to rewatch one of my fav childhood tv program. And i cried a lot, not just because of den-o's story but also I remember that I still love toku as much as little me back then

after finished den-o, i crave for more toku to watch, then my older sister told me there's this super sentai that all of the sentai is leaders/kings ((SHE HAVEN'T WATCH KINGOH UNTIL THIS VERY DAY DESPITE BEING ONE OF MY REASON TO WATCH KINGOH, I HATE HER////jk i love u sis)). I didn't watch kingoh while it's ongoing, i binge watch it from ep 1 while it's around eps 20-25. And i regret nothing, i feel a lot of emotions, be it's the good one or even the bad one. I laugh and I cry. I didn't live for 2000 years like jeramie, but i relate to him about dealing with grief and keep everything to yourself bcs you don't want others to worry about you. And the happiness of finally found someone you can rely on, someone that won't say anything but will pat your shoulder and reminds you that they will be on your side no matter what.

I learn a lot of thing from other king too, i learn to be kind from gira and himeno, i learn that it's okay to not care about what people say and be myself the way i am from rita, i learn to stands for what's wrong and didn't back down like yanma, and kaguragi uhm…* shake hands with kagu * yes ur my buddy bro (i swear i have one thing i relate to kagu, i just don't want to tell what it is-)

people can call it 'childish show' (my friend said that when i tell them abt kingoh and kr ;-; that's why i stopped telling abt toku to others and just keep my excitement to myself) and they're still right, but still, kingoh is special to me.

I was ready to be alone on this (I always be), i draw fanarts because i want and i like them so much, and didn't expect at all that i'll found other people that excited about the same thing like me. thank you to everyone who liked, reblog, comment, send asks, i can't always answer everything, but pls know that i appreciate every single of you,

artist, writers, gif maker, friends, everyone.

one day will come the day that my interest maybe will fade away. Until that day come, I'll enjoy my time here and drawing what i want. (((actually this applied to my other fandom too ;-;))))

for you who read this so far, thank u again <3

+ pls have this happy spiders, they're my favorites from all of the finale moments ;-;

[askinkiskarma]

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴠ - ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ ᴋɪɴᴋ

pairing: neteyam x avatar!reader (part of the cardigan saga)

➽ a/n: it's neteyam and atan's world, and we're just living in it! hi besties and welcome to day 5, aka the day that almost killed me bc writing daddy!neteyam is actually much harder to me than i thought it could be. but i wanted so much to give this day to them, since they are my forever favourite pair from my forever favourite work of mine.

you don't have to have read cardigan for this to make sense, although it helps. i hope you enjoy, i've seen a lot of you besties reading cardigan recently and it's nice to know you wouldn't have had to wait as long for this prompt as my og readers, who i've promised this to for far too long hahahhaa my bad.

finally, this will continue in another (or two) kinktober prompts, so enjoyyy ;) x

➽ words: 1.7k words

➽ warnings: it goes without saying, but all of these works (kinktober-related) are smut and therefore minors should NOT interact with them. other warnings include: anal fingering, p in v, pet names, hair pulling.

➽ taglist (x) ➽ kinktober masterlist (x)

➽ na'vi compendium: atan - light, ma 'itan - son, kalin - sweet to the taste

“Come on, ma ‘itan. You have to let go of him at some point, you know?” Letting go of your son was harder on Neteyam than either of you ever envisioned. Well, not really. In truth, he’s always been a born father - loving, caring and attentive, he has been the unofficial parent of three kids ever since he reached puberty, and yet, it’s never made him bitter or deterred. On the contrary, it seemed that the birth of your son, the sweet Kalin, only made him more enthusiastic to put everything he’s learnt about parenthood to good use with his own family. Still, there were times, like right now, where you wanted to remember what it was like to be alone with your mate, the love of your life, the man who you’ve gone trough hell and back with. Solitude was a scarce resource right now, with a babe barely over a year old, but you were lucky to have a village full of people who were more than ready and willing to help babysit, and some who were more excited about it than others - like Neytiri.

“I’ve wanted to have this little one all to myself for so long, we’re going to have so much fun!” Her little coos were adorable and once more you couldn’t help be forever grateful for the person who’s been a mum to you for years now, who loved you and has done so ever since you were born. Although so different, you couldn’t help see your own mother in her, and you were reminded to pay her and your dad a visit at the Tree of Souls. It’s been a while. 

But for now…

“We won’t be too long. Thank you for doing this, sa’nok.” 

“We might be… a little long. Isn’t that so, Atan?”

You chuckled at the quiet desperation in his voice, and, with a roll of your eyes, you clicked in the direction of the tent’s entrance, wordlessly willing him out. This was going to be fun…

It was still risky, coming to the places that used to mean so much to you once, that you had to forsake when you moved to the Metkayina, that you got back once more once you returned home, but you couldn’t help yourselves. Not when these places, this place, in particular, has been one where so many memories, all shared between you two, were made, not when it still brings goosebumps on the surface of your skin, the thought of all you’ve lived through here, from learning how to swim and climb to conceiving your little bundle of joy that was safely back home. You never realised how much being a mother would mean to you - although it was always clear how much being a father meant to Neteyam. You’ve loved him all your life, but somehow never more than when taking care of your son, then when he showered you in love and affection, when he acted like the dad and partner you always knew he would be. 

“I miss this place so much every time we don’t visit for a few days. It’s like after all these years, and all these memories… it’s part of me. It always will be. And even now, I feel like a teenager, obsessed with you, desperate to look into your eyes, excited beyond belief at every glance or touch you send my way.” 

You couldn’t believe how even despite knowing each other since birth, being there for each other every day of your lives, your heart still galloped in your chest any time he spoke, and he still had so much power over you, power to take your breath away with words… and actions.

“Whatever you say… daddy.”

Neteyam turned around almost robotically, alert and frantic as he struggled to make eye contact with you in the least amount of time possible. You chucked at his demeanour, almost predatory, tail perked and unmoving, eyes wide and pupils even more so, swallowing the beautiful yellow of his irises whole. 

“What did you just call me?” 

You smirked and curved an eyebrow in his direction, enjoying the tingly feel that came with doing so, the goosebumps peppered on your skin after being conditioned to expect him to react to it, to unleash on you demons and urges that only you could swallow, only you could help quench. 

“Fuck.” A second later he was by you, and even after a few years in this body, his reflexes still amazed you, still took you by surprise. You gulped at the intensity in his gaze, a gulp that got stuck in your throat as soon as his fingers found your neck, as soon as they wrapped around it and squeezed in just the right way so you felt euphoric, so it felt like the beginning to a night to remember. 

“Atan, you have no idea what you started. But I’ll show you. Let daddy show you.”

His sultry words made your legs clench together, a desperate if futile attempt to cease the dew gathering in your beaded loincloth and seeping past the fabric onto the soft skin of your inner thighs. 

“Turn around.” 

It never took any effort on your part to wholly and relentlessly obey your mate. He loved control and for him, only him, you loved to give it up - you loved it when he manhandled you, his strong, muscular physique perfect for such a task, made to do exactly what he was doing now, spinning you in place and pushing you gently, but forcefully by your shoulder and lower back until you were on the ground, kneeling and waiting. 

“I’m gonna need this perfect little body on all fours, Atan.”

The ground felt moist and tender beneath your hands and knees, and you were so aware of every move, every breath, every fleeting touch of his nimble fingers on your body, slowly making his way from your neck, down your spine until he reached your hips, that he gripped with both his large hands, before giving a praising, appreciative murmur at the sight before him. 

“So, so beautiful. Look at you, spread open for me, making a mess before I even touched you. Daddy’s little slut.”

You nearly snickered at how quickly he adopted and adapted to the nickname, how natural it was, rolling off his tongue, how somehow, every time he said it, you got impossibly wetter, almost panting with the desire to be filled up with his cock, with his cum. You moaned softly when you heard him spit into his hands, and could only imagine the mouthwatering sight unfolding before you as he pumped himself, before plunging into the depths of the desire that would overcome you both. When he guided his rock-hard erection to the plush of your ass, gliding it effortlessly in between your asscheeks, over and over, all you wanted to do was scream for more. It felt wondrous and dirty, and you wanted it all, wanted him everywhere, all at once, all the time. Like the mindreader he always was, he spoke before you had a chance to voice your unrealistic feverous dreams.

“Let’s start with two fingers and work our way up, how’s that sound?” You appreciated him for his thoughtfulness always, but especially now, always ready and dutiful in making sure you were prepared, that your body was capable of taking him, of taking it the way he ended up wanting to give it to you.

“Words, Atan.” 

“Sounds go-good. So good.” 

“That’s right.” 

He was taunting you now, slapping the tip of his cock on your clit, dragging it against your folds before sliding into you with ease, while plunging two fingers into your puckered hole.

“Fu-uck! Fuck! Argh!”

The feeling was beyond comprehension,  beyond your wildest fantasies. It was always this good, always this mind-blowing and yet, you have never gotten used to it, never gotten used to the amalgamation of sensations and how they’d all accumulate to a night of orgasm after orgasm, until you were passed out on his cock, too tired to even mutter a tired I love you.

His hand was soft as it trailed up your body until it reached your braided hair, that he took into his fisted hand. When he tugged on it, as he slammed back into you, you cried out, moaning garbled attempts at his name. Your head pulled backwards as he used your hair to establish a brutal, ruthless pace of both his hips and fingers, and soon enough, you could feel your first orgasm as it approached, thunderous and violent and ready to take over you. 

“I can’t wait to be a dad again, I can’t wait to see your swollen belly and know you have made me the happiest man in the world every day of my life so far and will continue to do so 'til the day I die. I can’t wait to hold your hand when you bring our baby girl into the world.”

“But not tonight, Atan. Tonight, I want to ruin you. I need to ruin you. I need to watch my cum drip out of your every perfect little hole. Do you understand?” 

A meek nod is all you managed, the sensation too overwhelming to allow for any coherent, cohesive expression, the cried-out iteration of “yes, daddy. Yes, fuck, y-yes!” only audible in your head as you screamed it with all your internalised might. 

“Good girl. Come for daddy. I want to hear you, Atan.”

His words were enough to push you over the edge, and you came, vision blinded by the high, mind numbed by the way every nerve in your body felt electrified, alight with the pleasure that didn’t seem to want to cease, not even as you squirted on his cock as he continued to pump into you, the overstimulation enough to make tears fall down your cheeks and onto the ground. 

You didn’t have time to catch your breath, no time to gather any thoughts before he leaned onto your back, whispering seductively in your ear. 

“Ready for round two? You didn’t think I was done with you yet, huh?” 

taglist: @pandoraslxna @sulieykte @blue-slxt @eywaeveng @neteyamsikran @elenamoncada-ibarra @spicymayyo @itsjazzsworld @daddysmurfslefttoenail @eyrina-avatar @iameatingmyhair @hadesbabygurl @linydoll @the-mourning-moon

(pls complete the form in the beginning of this post to be tagged)

[mrghostrat]

i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.

zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.

but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.

so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.

sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?

i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.

it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—

i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.

i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.

i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.

thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"

got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.

i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.

so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.

oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.

OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.

something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.

[lains-reality]

hello! i rlly love your blog and the way you explain things

how do i just apply? whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info and things i have to make sure i’m doing right then i spiral and over consume again. i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore.

what’s the simplest way to apply all of this and just “manifest” (i don’t rlly like this word bc it implies there’s a process or that i’m trying to get) my dream life? thank you

hi! ty!

it takes some courage! i also read a lot as a way to feel secure, but eventually i just got tired and just decided 'i have no more fears from this day on! done with this!' and i made it a practise to stop avoiding myself whenever something comes up

its all very natural, i can't say how you'll just finally decide that your over this lol

"whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info"

well, learn how to stop yourself in the moment. you're putting too much pressure on your character! it only know what it knows now, it will not accept anything outside of what it already knows! thats why you leave it alone. read all you want to read, but stop when you feel like you have to. like you must. let yourself relax.

"i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore."

good! keep going!

"what’s the simplest way to apply all of this"

just do it. try it and see. something that is a recurent theme in all the posts and book i read, is to try it. experiment. just for this one moment, let all the worries go. promise to never make problems for yourself again. you've given up troubles now, no more. just test it and see. surrender. let the mind cry and scream, for this moment, you won't allow it to deter you from freedom.

i'll give a list of stuff that helped me

theres only now -> stop bringing the past to now, learn to sit in the present moment

stop avoiding emotions, sit with the fear, discomfort etc

you already are Self! nothing can undo that!

be patient

non attachment (or detachment)

experiment - take something you already know and test it

question everything

find out what are the stories you want, what the desire will supposedly give you

it is not necessary to get rid of thoughts or images just stop deriving identity from them

"am i arguing for my limitations?"

soon more lovely thoughts and images will appear in your awareness and you can choose what you want

can you outgrow it? not you. observe it? not you. in the absense of it, you don't dissapear? not you.

be okay with not having it. get to a place where no one and no thing can disturb you (and your happiness and peace)

just see how absurd all this shit is. like i was born? what was it like before i was born? why is it normal to hear your voice in your head? no one knows what tomorrow is but we all worry abt it, where tf does the voice in your head come from? how can we actually identify feelings, what if the feeling pride isn't actually pride and you've been lied to? do you know how crazy this is for an infant?! we say we are an [x] person and that changes and so we say we are an [y] person, so who are we?? if we can change like that? being a human is confusing, seek the truth out and question all

just start to disidentify as the body-mind. when you disidentify as the body-mind you'll start to feel better as all the pressure you put on your character falls away. this will intice you to keep going as you feel freer!

have fun!! go and live life!! appriciate what you have now - this is all expressing the character, omnipr3sence, perfectly! you'll start to see "i barely thought abt x 2 days ago and now i see it here lol" "i was worrying about y and now i see it here too" "oh so this comes along with being the character too, maybe i should change that story"

you're in your own dream, see it as your dream and you'll start seeing the connections.

no need to convince the character, just move on. let yourself doubt this 'reality'

disclaimer: i'm still learning too! so please keep practising and have your own epiphanies!

reading

habit

no need to convince

behaviour

[shatterthefragments]

hi! 💜 i'm intrigued by the Nazareth trans allegory comic [sleep token] from your wip list, if you'd like to share some thoughts about it. have a lovely day! 🌻

🫂💖💖💖💖💖 Ok ok SO!!! Nazareth Trans Allegory comic!!!

RAMBLING ON AHEAD!!!!!!!!

There’s. This is what was in my notes app so far so this is the entirety of the wip basically bc I hadn’t externalized this until I actually started to write an answer for this!!! 🫂

(Brought to you by me listening to Nazareth on repeat last week and a bit into this one so far it is number 1 on my on repeat atm and questioning if I really *have to* put off/forget about gender affirming care Despite The Horrors (bloodwork and surgery) after all I was able to get tattooed and it didn’t even put me in a dissociative tailspin.. if I get to a place I can Get Out of this house (with all my stuff))

^this is presumably from May when I started writing this out. But as of September 11 2024, Nazareth is still number 5 on my on repeat playlist as I mull this over in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

Um. I guess cw for transphobia

And also brought to you by me starting to type:

This is probably nothing but “let’s fuck her up” referring to the girl that

(They all think you are)

And then Promptly abandoning it to go NAZARETH TRANS ALLEGORY.

While I do question my ability to pull it off I am throwing myself off the cliff of “I must make perfect art” and diving into the waters of “if it brings joy or catharsis it is ALL PERFECT” and it’s better to try and to learn as I go than to worry and not create anything at all.

This would be. A short comic. Not like. Not like a book comic or anything.

Will absolutely feature calligraphy bc I’m a sucker and love it 😘(also I’m out of practice and have to reference the alphabets way more than I used to so I want to practice also anything that uses that much black gets assigned calligraphy in my head 😘)

Also unsure of how closely it follows what I’m rambling about here and what I’m actually capable of depicting but HERE WE GO (not sure how coherent I just type things)

But primarily it follows the song and its lyrics and the emotions (?)

TWINKLIEST BITS ARE BEING EQUATED TO FINDING YOUR CHOSEN FAMILY OKAY!!!!!!

And ALSO the jubilation in BECOMING in changing your life to be how you are and finding the joy in living again

So The Wrath. In this. I haven’t fully decided how many interpretations I’m giving it. But it is definitely representing transphobia, particularly from birth families and the people we’re close with.

I’ll see you when the wrath comes.

I’ll see you when you come running to your chosen family (the “I” here) being welcomed in and safe from the wrath touching you.

“Knocking on your bedroom door with money” I mean fuck. Transition related stuff is so expensive 😭 even though I have universal healthcare it’s. Expensive. Even just the binders I have from when I bound on a regular basis were pretty expensive. Makeup to do masculinizing makeup would be expensive (I don’t have or wear makeup (my obsession with dark red lipstick and other fun colours notwithstanding) let alone have the skill currently to do that)

“Building you a kingdom” finally being the king of your own world rather than a subject subjected to so many unspoken rules that just bind you to unhappiness and obligation is what comes to mind at first but honestly I’m not entirely sure what to do for the next line

“Dripping from the open mouth, I’ll show you / what you look like, from the inside” like. I have vague images floating around in my head that I’m not sure how to articulate atm.

Hollow point. You know. Like the syringe used to draw up testosterone from the vial. To a naked body/booty (look. I know that the thigh is just fine as an injection site but I did watch love lies bleeding thanks to @ongreenergrasses so it is in the mind) (yes,, even still…)

Now on one hand. The pronouns are she/her used in the lyrics.

But ALSO could be interpreted as the rest of everyone seeing him/them as her still and refusing to acknowledge their/his identity (undecided on whether anyone else knows in this comic or even how I’d storyboard that)

Also. I won’t be missing you in mirror

They won’t be missing you the pitchfork crowd

So I would be going with the transmasc version bc it’s more related to me and my experiences and how I see things

(Aside from like the one week back in high school where after so long as a boy I was a girl and I was fully like freaking out and wondering how I’d transition before like. It occurred to me. Anyway that didn’t last long and was the quickest gender switch I’ve experienced (I generally say if I am indeed gender fluid then the fluid is a slow moving lava consuming all in its path) and I hovered (and still kinda continue to hover) somewhere in the realm of nonbinary transmasc demiboy or something I’m not thinking too hard about the labels I just want to be comfortable and as happy as possible)

BUT ALSO 👀

Transfem Nazareth

Fuck her up - fuck up the woman you’re expected to be by everyone else.

Hollow point… unfortunately I can’t help but think of the disproportionate rates of violence against trans women and particularly trans women of colour.

[tremendous-entropy]

Hello all! Ok, so I've never written fics before, let alone smut, but this thought has been driving me crazy for a while and I can't find what I'm looking for so I decided to give it a go myself. Premise being that in the nightbringer time-line all the brothers are 100% virgins. So I'd like to explore that, lol. Taking place after you wake up from your coma and on from there. First being mammon that night (ignoring the bit where they're all asleep outside your door at the end of that lesson) and then next being lucifer after he learns they all want to stay in the devildom with Satan, when the two of you are in his office bc it just sets it up so perfectly. From there idk what order or after what happening I want the rest of them to happen. So I'm looking for suggestions, and also just really want to know if this is something y'all would be interested in reading? Bc it's gonna be super long. And it may take a while, I have Adhd and my shit is all over the place. I'm going to use my MC, Zaeda, she/her, bi, poly. I can already tell you mammon will probably be the most in depth, lol, I just love him so much, I'm sorry 😂 but I do love them all and I will do my best to give each of them the time they deserve 😉So here's a little long af teaser and probably not gonna be super wonderfully edited so ignore any current typos, give me some feedback please!

NSFW but barely

________________________________________

You lie in bed wide awake thinking back on the last few days of your little coma situation. You recall everything you heard the boys say while you were under, every word, every kiss. You're practically brimming with love. Sleep eludes you. It's intensely quiet. Lucifer threatened the brother's lives if they so much as stepped out of their rooms tonight to ensure you got proper rest.(No he's not worried about you.) Apparently they all slept outside your door the entire time you were out. They've all been on your mind more constantly lately. In a different way. In your time you're in a happy poly relationship with all of them and you've slept with all of them more times than you can count. In this time.....well...they're all virgins.

You shuffle through each demon in your mind, recalling so many intimate moments, wondering how different this time will be. Did Barbatos explain things to them while they were confined to the castle? Brand new demons. Have they masturbated? Do they watch porn? Have they discovered any of their kinks yet? Should you show them? Or let them figure it out slowly? So many questions. So many possibilities. Where to start? Which lucky demon will be the first to fall...to you. Who will be the second? The third? Fourth? Mmm. Let's get this party started.

*MAMMON*

You already know the answer to who's first. Who better than your first man? So many firsts with that boy. It's only right that he be the first. The first to love you, the first to know you. The rest can wait, the time has to be right for each of them. The fact that you haven't jumped that greedy boys bones already is a testament to your self control. For now, you crawl out of bed, strip to nothing, walk to your dresser and unfold Mammon's white shirt you keep in your drawer. It smells like him. You should probably return this.... You put it on, it comes down just enough to cover your bare ass. Perfect. You grab your ddd and slowly and carefully make your way out into the hall.

"thank fuck I'm a master at sneaking around these halls", you think to yourself, as you quietly walk on the balls of your feet, slowly stepping over every creaky board in your path. It's seems like an eternity has passed by the time you finally make it to the 2nd borns room. You open the door little by little, unsure as to whether or not the demon is sleeping, it's still early for you and he's usually just as nocturnal as you are, even with the neverending darkness of the devildom. You spot the white haired demon as you walk in, sitting on his couch, some long forgotten movie playing on the TV, scrolling intently on his ddd, completely unaware of you walking up behind him, or what's about to come next...

"Hey, pretty boy." you coo at him walking up behind the couch. "AHHH! FUCK! ZAEDA WHAT THE FUCK?! DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" He holds his right hand to his chest dramatically as he catches his breath, "I coulda hurt ya, dummy!" he pouts. "Aw, sweet boy, I'm sorry I scared you." you smile as you bend down crossing your arms and resting them on the back of the couch as you lean in closely. If only he could see the view from the back. "Ya didn't scare me! Nothin scares the Great Mammon! Ya just caught me off guard is all! Shit, what are ya even doin up, aren't ya s'posed to be restin?" You smile sweetly at the frazzled demon and look into those gorgeous blue eyes of his, "should I go back to bed?" "NOOO! No! ... I- I mean.. it's not like I care..." he trails off. You tilt your head to the side and eye him suspiciously, "hmm". His tsundere tendencies don't faze you anymore. You know he's loved you since before he knew what love really was. You know he thinks the sun shines out your perfect ass. You wait patiently as his thoughts catch up to him. He's looking anywhere but you

"I- I mean...sorry I... I don't want you to go...I-" You smile as you reach out and gently lift his chin up to meet your gaze. Uncertainty swirls in those beautiful eyes shinning up at you and such a pretty little blush across his perfect face. You slide your hand to his cheek and slowly pull him in and plant a gentle kiss on his waiting lips. " I'm not going anywhere, puppy." Barely a whisper into his sweet lips. He melts into your touch as you you rub your thumb over his cheekbone. His blush probably reaches his knees by now. You remove your hand from his face after running it once through his soft hair. His ddd still in his left hand, catches your attention. You lean over slightly for a better look. While you're distracted, mammon takes the time to really soak you in. He looks at your beautiful face, your pretty pink hair, falling waves over your shoulders, those lips that haunt him all hours of the night. His eyes rake down your body, what he can see of it right now, he finally notices the shirt. "Zaeda, is tha-", "Watcha lookin at mams?".... He freezes as he remembers what he was doing before you were standing in front of him. He scrambles as you snatch his ddd from his hand and run behind the pool table. On the screen is a photo album. Full of pictures of you. You and him, but mostly you. You quickly scroll through the seemingly endless pictures (how does he even have so many?). "HEY! NO! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! THAT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY!" He jumps off the couch and runs to you and desperately tries to grab the device as you dodge him over and over, laughing. "Puppyyyy! It's cute! Look at all these! I'm flattered." You hold the ddd up over your head. "It's not what you think! I- was doin somethin- I was just-"

He stops dead in his tracks. Jaw agape.

"Y- you...you're...are you...um...you're not w-wearing anything under that shirt..." You notice a little too late that with your arm above your head like that you can juuust see the bare curve of your ass peeking out from the bottom of his shirt that hangs on your body so perfectly goddamn his heart is gonna bust out of his chest fuck he can see your nipple rings through the thin white fabric fuck why is his dick throbbing

"Fuck...." You turn his ddd off and lay it on the pool table and slowly make your way toward him, holding his gaze. "That part was supposed to be a surprise."

That's all so far! Lemme know what y'all think!

[miguelswifey04]

Hii!! I live ur fiction sm and I was wondering if we could have a Miguel x Fem Reader who is Badass like him and usually cool and collected and maybe sometimes quiet and shy? But when she is pissed she is really scary like one day on a mission she full on pulls a miguel and miles situation (NOT CRAWLING ON ALL FOURS THO LMAO)

And she starts fighting ruthlessly and miguel is super proud but kinda scared bc he's worried she is gonna kill someone. Ty for ur time hope this isn't too much! ❤

it’s not too much, don’t worry my love <33 love this idea a lot :)

miguel o’hara x badass fem! spider! reader

miguel always admired your calm and collected nature. your ability to remain level-headed during missions was something he truly respected. but there was another side to you that he had witnessed only a few times—a side that unleashed a fierce and ruthless fighter.

one day, as the two of you embarked on a mission together, something triggered you, igniting a fire within. your usually reserved demeanor transformed, and miguel couldn't help but be in awe of the intensity emanating from you.

as you fought, your movements became fluid, each strike precise and calculated. your eyes blazed with a raw determination, and the once calm and collected facade was shattered. you unleashed your full power, not holding back an ounce of your strength.

miguel watched with a mix of awe and concern. he had never seen you so ferocious, so unyielding. your actions mirrored his own, the spirit of a true fighter coursing through your veins. as your blows landed with deadly accuracy, miguel couldn't help but feel a twinge of worry. while he was proud of your strength, a part of him feared the potential consequences of your ruthlessness.

the battle raged on, and with each passing moment, the intensity grew. miguel could see the fear in the eyes of your opponents, a primal realization that they were facing a force far greater than they had anticipated. but amidst that fear, there was also a glimmer of admiration for your power.

finally, the chaos subsided, and you stood amidst the defeated enemies, your chest heaving with exertion. miguel approached you cautiously, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and trepidation. “wow…," he said, his voice laced with a mixture of awe and concern. "that was…intense. you were incredible out there. but i have to admit, i’m a little worried about the level of ferocity you displayed. you seemed ready to go all the way."

you took a deep breath, your gaze fixated on the ground. "i’m sorry, miguel. i just…i couldn't contain myself. something inside of me snapped," you admitted, your voice tinged with a hint of regret. miguel placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his touch grounding you. "i understand. we all have those moments. but remember, there's a line we shouldn't cross. we fight to protect, not to cause unnecessary harm."

you nodded, appreciating his words of wisdom. "you’re right, miguel. i’ll be more mindful next time. it’s just that sometimes, the rage inside me becomes overwhelming. i need to learn to control it better." he smiled gently, his love for you evident in his eyes. "we’ll work on it together. i know you have incredible strength, and i believe in your ability to channel it for the greater good. just remember, you don't have to fight alone. we’re a team, and we'll face any challenge together, no matter what."

with that, miguel pulled you into a warm embrace, reaffirming the unbreakable bond between you. as you held each other, you found solace in the fact that even in moments of darkness and rage, love and support would always guide you back to the path of balance and compassion.

tags 🏷️!! @kairiscorner @astro1bloom @obi-mom-kenobi @emiemiemiii @sabcandoit @meeom

[creepyscritches]

Idk how to phrase it bc I've only recently begun to think about it but 🤔 growing up poor, alone, and temporary kinda taught me valuable poor skills like "how to live w only 1/4 of your possessions available, even the important ones" or "we won't be able to stay here that long, decorate but don't mount anything to the walls" OR my greatest hit "your movers are also poor like you so bring a case of ice water and popsicles for them + get ready to haul as much of your furniture as you can w 3 sweaty strangers"

But like 🤡 I never learned the not-poor skills lmao... Yeah sure I'm good at making things last but??? Learning when it's okay to replace something is such an unexpected skill. I'm not rich by any means, but I've finally met a career level where I'm secure job-wise and financially :/c which means I don't actually have to wear things until they fall apart which is nuts. My solution at the moment is to remember being the kid in goodwill finding kick-ass clothes and happily build a donation box of things I like but haven't worn in awhile (a year or so usually). Saluting the anonymous southerner who donated a pair of new w tags tripp pants in 2009. Inspiring me, king.

Anyway also the fact that I've established myself somewhere now is 🤡 man I'm figuring it out, but I feel very silly sometimes. Killing the voice in my head that says "don't get settled too much, you have to undo all this soon" by just thinking "if I still like it here, I will choose to stay longer, dumbass" which is a CRAZY luxury???? Girlies, home ownership is insane to me and I enjoy renting tbh, but being at the mercy of rent jacks made things pretty nomadic for awhile. I'm fully unpacked here. I mounted my first TV last year? Insane. I'm hanging floating corner shelves just to put junk I make on them. I have PLANTS? Idk it's just weird the things that are very normalized that I never did and a lot of my friends never did. My countertops are stone now, so I've had to learn to place things gently on them so they don't shatter. You could dunk a plate onto the vinyl countertops I had in high school. I do miss that freedom.

[silverflqmes]

hi ellie!! can i get a modern au with cyno where he’s a huge geek of pokemon (because he would be) and he’s finally met his match, whom he’s interested in (the reader with she/her pronouns)? it can be either in a headcanon format or drabble, whichever is easier! thank you advance<3

໒⦂ 𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

notes. hello anon, sorry for the delay</3 i decided on making this into headcanons, since it suits the request a bit better; anyway i hope it’s to your likings, enjoy<3

disclaimer. there were no suitable cyno gifs so i made one myself. if you use it, don’t be an ass, credit.

genre. crack + fluff

cyno x fem!reader.

⌗ this man — THIS GEEK — has been into pokemon from his days on cartoon network. he was the guy that woke up early mornings to watch the clone wars at 7am BUT STUMBLED ACROSS pokemon one day and was like “o h.”

⌗ child cyno just starring at the screen in wonder like what is this piece of art and why have i only found it now. literally asking himself why he hadn’t bought the trading cards before ( maybe because the kids in his neighborhood were always BUYING THEM UP ).

⌗ through the show, indigo league, he also saw the games being advertised and he just had to have one — to at least TRY.

⌗ he was gifted a gameboy one christmas to play mario related games, so he decided.. to give emerald a try😐

⌗ the amount of hours that went into that game for understanding it ALONE. there was so much to learn for no reason, but a fun game nonetheless.

⌗ throughout the years cyno would continue collecting cards, literally getting them at any trip to a store with lisa ( yes, yes lisa. ), and she would just giggle but buy them, anyway<3

⌗ cards were banned at school tho because they were being exchanged left and right like DRUGS LMFAO ( this happened at my school oml it was so bad ppl were sneaking them in AND SOME GOT CONFISCATED BAHAHA )

⌗ oddly, but not so oddly, he likes electric and ground types the most, despite them being each other’s weaknesses LMAO also likes fighting and dark types though.

⌗ lucario is his favorite.. i mean, come on.. for the sake of this au, I BELIEVE CYNO WEARS THE HOODIE BC OF LUCARIO

⌗ umbreon is a close second tho

⌗ dare i say.. he almost bought the four hundred dollar life size, wife snatcher, lucario plush..

⌗ tighnari stopped him lol

⌗ furthermore, when he got pokemon mystery dungeon, explorers of sky ( I MISS THIS SO MUCH IM SOBBING INTERNALLY ).. he restarted his ds 3638393927382920 times to try and get riolu

⌗ he failed, and settled for pikachu ( riolu became his partner and actually, it worked out way better )

⌗ ( spoilers ) there were tears in his eyes at the end of the final chapter after fighting dialga and descending the steps.. iykyk..

⌗ flashing forward a few years — 2016

⌗ the year he met you

⌗ there was this gym near his house when he downloaded pokemon go ( ofc he had to hop on this train ) and gurl..

⌗ for the longest time he was on TOP with that gym, never lost.

⌗ and then this girl shows up who went up in the ranks and stole his spot

⌗ he told himself not to get mad — i mean, it’s just a silly little game, there were plenty of gyms to go around, right?

⌗ wrong, he was bothered.

⌗ and if that gym was shut down, it meant you lived near — like no way you didn’t

⌗ so on the trip to the park one morning, on his way to the pokestop, he found a girl, at the top of the slide on her phone.

⌗ it was the strangest sight to him, like what were you doing up at that hour, on your phone, right at the pokestop when pogo was trending

⌗ you had to be her.

⌗ he checked the gym again to make sure, and there you were.

⌗ “judgment is upon you.” he would proclaim, pointing at you, as though declaring war of some sorts.

⌗ meanwhile you just give the most confused look ever to him. like who is this boy and who is he to complain?? and what about??

⌗ until it finally clicks.

⌗ “twilight arbiter?!”

⌗ and now cyno is speechless because he was acknowledged by the enemy.

⌗ cue the blossom of a very strong and precious friendship.

⌗ that very first day you would both find out that you attend the same high school, wondering how you hadn’t met sooner since you lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same school??

⌗ like where were you all these years? where was he all these years??

⌗ either way, you wouldn’t waste your time together now as you both ramble of your mutual interests, trade your cards — play them, lend one another games — you name it!

⌗ he especially trades when you say that he has a card of your favorite pokemon, and of course he wants to see you light up<3

⌗ he falls first asf, but you fell harder

⌗ pokemon related puns.. i don’t have to explain this one, nor do i want to😐

⌗ owns a good bit of plushes, and has also bought you a handsome amount for birthdays, holdidays, friendship-a-versaries.

⌗ random but he stumbles across pokémon showdown one day and honestly..

⌗ “HOP ON PS! HOP ON PS!” at two o’clock in the morning.

⌗ oh you’re probably wondering, how do you get together, exactly?

⌗ “are you a pokeball cuz you-”

⌗ “caught your heart, perhaps?”

⌗ silence.

⌗ he did not expect you to finish his pickup line, nor did he expect that boldness — he truly met his match, didn’t he?

notes. my pokemon knowledge is not very extensive, it’s based on what i witnessed as a kid from the sidelines and friends</3 so i hope this fulfills your request!

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[did-system-did]

I’ve been living alone for the first time in my life for about 5 months now and i wanted to share some things i learned as well as what im going to start trying to do to help myself

1. Time is Hard 🤓

Like, yeah duh, as a system ig it’s a no brainer. But i also don’t have a job right now, and i knew time blended together but it’s increasingly difficult to manage my time, be aware of time, and plan what i do with my time. i wake up, ???????????????, and then it’s night time.

This as been incredibly frustrating for me and lately i’ve been feeling pings of shame that i can’t function. I’ve tried buying a planner, i lose my planner or forget to write in it if i ever do find it. i’ve tried reminders on my phone, i read them and they don’t spark any sort of intention to complete….

WHAT IM TRYING

-Using a whiteboard on my fridge where i put down important things i MUST do

-Setting timers throughout the day to grab my attention. I’ll be starting with one every 2 hours and see how it works for me

2. There’s an Outside???

I cannot tell you the last time i’ve gone outside. I suspect this is connected to my childhood, as for years i was never allowed to leave my room unless it was time to eat or go to school. So now as an adult it’s difficult to even THINK about outside, what’s that?, my brain sees my house as the world and i can spent weeks without leaving the property. some days i feel proud to just go into the backyard

WHAT IM TRYING

-get into a routine of going into the backyard at the same time everyday, for me in the mornings to start. and as time goes on, trying to take more walks, then grow from there and take a drive to the park or something?

3. Chores

This has been the bane of my existence since it’s directly connected to my trauma. i find it difficult to complete household tasks without external pressure or threats, so it’s common for my space to get messy and i’ll have blindness to it all. i hate it.

WHAT IM TRYING

-I used to plan a day to clean every week, but quickly learned that my planner was not going to work for me. so i’ll be trying to clean as i go and not put so much pressure on myself to complete everything in day like i was doing before. Leaving my room? what can i take with me or put away before i go. Leaving the kitchen? what can i put away or wash before i go. i’m hoping this will help facilitate small accomplishments versus thinking i have to clean the whole house in a single day

4. Eating is Hard

i’ve lost an alarming amount of weight due to dissociating through hunger pings or overall not noticing when i should eat. this has started to affect my energy levels and sleep quality and i also suspect stems from my trauma

WHAT IM TRYING

-I’ve been battling this consistently to no avail so i’m finally scheduled to see a nutritionist next month bc with all the other struggles im facing, this particular issue has fell thru the cracks and i couldn’t manage it on my own.

-But i suppose the best thing i’ve tried is actually recognizing it as a problem instead of talking myself out of it by saying “i’m only fasting” when i knew in my heart it was deeper than that

Overall Update: it’s been a tough couple months, but i’m finally getting the ball rolling and the referrals scheduled. im still waiting to hear back for my mental health referrals but im feeling more hopeful about my journey and working on accepting my struggles instead of trying to pass as healthy.

[heliianth]

actually bc im never gonna shut up abt it while im still on this im gonna ramble abt botw and totk and maybe how i wouldve written a sequel . & i will pay u money to listen i promise

my favoritest of totks ideas are what it expands from botw. botws whole atmosphere is drowned in quiet mourning. something bad has happened but it was a long time ago. it still hurts but theres nothing to be done now but move forward. something is still missing but all you can do is find something else. nobody has resources to rebuild and you can hear deafening echoes of better times but the alternative is giving up. you are in this frozen state of not quite moving on and not quite in despair. like the numbness stage of grief. and the pivotal element of all of that is that link is alone. like, oppressively alone. its the primary vehicle of conveying this mood. and its interesting because this can be read not only as what link is experiencing through the player but what zelda is feeling as she holds back ganon. its an interesting contrast to have zelda mature faster than link in the flashbacks, only for link to pull her the rest of the way by growing himself

and the reason why i so strongly adore the light dragon aspect of the plot is because it shows how attached to everything zelda has gotten. arguably, zelda held back ganon in botw because she loved link. in totk, she becomes the light dragon because she loves hyrule, which had previously been so unimaginably cruel to her. the crux of her character is learning that attachment is good. loving is good. you deserve to leave an imprint on the world in a shape of Your choosing instead of being another factory print on a paper. on a surface level, shes making the same choice, but the motivation and growth behind it is really powerful

i could waffle for literally ever about all that and the point is that totk takes these ideas and implements them really well through in-game worldbuilding and specifically zelda turning into the light dragon. i would occasionally get extremely emotional just seeing how things have expanded because it feels like the world is finally moving on. theres a catharsis in seeing hyrule finally heal after knowing its desolation so intimately, especially because the state of the land itself is such a strong parallel to the arcs of the two main characters, so you get the sense that not only can people move on, link and zelda specifically have started to as well. thats my favorite part

thats why i think its an odd choice that they decided on a time travel plot. if zelda HAS to be the one getting saved, if she cant be a companion in some way either via sheikah facetime or spirit tracks shenanigans or whatever, there are lots of ways to do this without her being magic fruit snacked ten bajillion years into the past. why spend all this effort intertwining her and link with the land, only to remove her from the equation and have no further growth? in botw its understandable that hyrule is stagnant and only changes when link does because zelda is stagnant and link is doing the one changing during the game. in totk its the opposite. there are lots of ways to do this with out Having to play as zelda (though honestly that would be the way id go about it)

also a lot of my own ideas have to do with the wasted potential of a place like the depths???? what the hell do you mean theres this mind bogglingly big cavern underneath the entirety of hyrule which mysterious people used to live in and it has almost no story relevance beside being a cool setpiece???????? I FEEL INSANE?!?!??!?!? there are so many good ideas in totk that never get expanded dude FUCK

i think no matter how much i speculate and draft my own preferences of how i wouldve liked totk to elaborate on the things it introduces i cant ever bring myself to present them like they couldve realistically happened and gotten thru the nintendo writing room simply bc of the games format. if it were up to me doing certain story missions would radically change the open world as events happened in real time and thats not the MO of the game's design philosophy. honestly totk's biggest enemy is the memory system and i need to kill it with fire

[downforthegas]

Fart kink asks (all 25 bc why not)

Woah uhhhh damn thank you so much!!! I'm glad I can finally answer the questions I've always wanted to!!! Here we go:

When did you realize you were into farts? Age 16 when I first learned how to touch myself

How did you figure out you were into farts? Probably fart jokes in shows, you know how it goes (live action scooby doo movie ruined a generation lol)

What’s your favorite type of fart? Quite a lot. Bubbly, wet, bassy, rumbly, silent, squeaky, etc. The kind that smell awful, like rotten cheese, milk, or eggs

Are there any types of fart you don’t like? Of course not. Farts are farts. Even the short, quiet ones have their charm

What about farting do you find most appealing? Probably the smell but sound is really hot too. As for the types of farter, I'm a big fan of embarrassment, but confidence is also suuuuper hot depending on what I'm in the mood for

Do you have a preferred length or volume for farts? I mean not really but I find myself fantasizing about long farts. Even hyperfarts that last for hours maybe even days on end (i guess I do have a preferred length lol). As for volume, any is fine, but if it's long, its extra hot if its bubbly and quiet or silent

Does farting turn you on on its own or do you need to already be in the mood? Farting can turn me on in an instant like a switch

Do you have any other digestion-related kinks? Ooh so many. Burps, piss (I think that counts), scat, and vomit (but not for real, just in my head). Even general stomach issues like bloating and indigestion and even heart burn are hot

Do you have any other kinks that you enjoy being paired with farting? Farts and burps, farts and bloating, farts and scat, farts and spanking, farts and tying up, ugh the possibilities are endless

Is farting a must in sexual situations or is it more of a bonus? It's sort of a must but I don't want it to be. I try to get off to regular stuff with my partners (we still do farts stuff too), and I do but its hard bc its always been farts I've touched myself to. But I'm willing to change. Besides, not using farts helps me last longer

Have you ever acted on your desires IRL in an explicitly kinky manner? With myself? Yes. Not yet with my partners though

Is having a partner who can fart well important to you? Not really but it's nice when you have it, like I do right now hehe

Does anyone you personally know know about your kink? Two of my friends, one I still talk to. They're both really accepting. I think I told my sister but she was probably so traumatized, she forgot lol

Has anyone ever noticed/suspected your kink without you telling them about it? Not yet. Thank god though. Maybe my sis is getting suspicious but I'm not sure (if she really did forget)

Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it? Not a specific media in particular (I imagine my faves farting more if they're from medias with no fart jokes) but I do like looking at fart comps on youtube, mostly from cartoons

Do you have a favorite farting-related content creator (on tumblr or otherwise)? For fart models, I love Love Rachelle, Selena Loca, Santana Redd, Emma Ink, and Natasha F. For artists, there's too many to list but I love a lot of twitter artists like Carafalsa, ProButtonMasher, GasTank, and Solloros. For people on Tumblr, I love @sweetbubblies for their ocs. They include a lot of hyperfart stuff and I think they got me into diaper stuff. @grossgeck is awesome too. They're extra weird like me and it makes me feel less alone in this community

Would you ever consider recording your farts? Oh I recorded SO MANY of my farts and posted some here.

Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely? Depends who I'm around. Around fam? Strangers? Friends? no. Best friends and lovers? Yes but I get a little hesitant with best friends hehe

Are you good at farting? Uhhh well my farts smell bad and some can be like 5 seconds so I guess I'm good. But I'm EXCELLENT at pumped farts. I can fart on command and I can suck in a lot of air

Do you prefer farting yourself or hearing others fart? Either way I'm happy lol

Have you ever gotten into trouble for farting in a place or situation where you shouldn’t have? Ooh not yet but I have fantasized about trying that in a public setting somewhere. I am into humiliation after all

Have you ever gotten turned on by farting in an inconvenient place or situation? Again, no, but it turns me on to think about

Have you ever tried to make yourself gassy in order to fart? Oh I kinda do it all the time! Whether it's with food, chocolate milk (my love) and pumping air in me

Do you have any favorite foods or drinks for encouraging farting? Spicy foods, leafy green veggies, super greasy foods, and chocolate milk/regular milk

What’s your biggest fantasy involving farting? Me and both my current partners are gassy and they can both fart freely around me, but I have to have a plug in me until they say I'm allowed to pull it out. If we're having sex, I'm not allowed to take it out until I cum. Maybe they make me take it out in public so I'm forced to fart in front of a bunch of people. Or they need to be in the hot tub after sex. But there's no hot tub. But hey, there's enough bubbles in my system to make it one

[mostesteemedgingeroverlord]

It’s about to be my birthday and I just keep thinking about how *much* the last year has been.

I lost my darling grandfather, but I’m slowly getting my dad back. Or maybe just truly having him for the first time. But that’s also mostly happening be he’s been sick for months, which is making him reevaluate a lot.

My parents are closer and healthier than ever, but they’re also barely scraping by because Dad can’t work.

My aunt who I have been very close to as an adult said some really hurtful things to me when Granddad was dying and now there’s a weird distance between us that I don’t know how to breach. But as I was crying about that my mom called me and told me how proud she was of me and how much it meant to her that I was there taking care of Granddad when she couldn’t.

My oldest brother is growing ever distant and into someone I’m afraid won’t be a kind and gentle man. But my younger brothers and sisters are growing kinder and wiser and, God, I am more hopeful for them than I have been in years.

My friend who I went to college with and have traveled the world started fighting with other friends and pulling away from us. But my friend who moved away last summer has become closer than when she was here and now we’re going to travel together (provided my finances become less bottom up lol).

I’ve given up on the idea of best friends (I was never too keen on it to begin with) and I’m trying to ride the waves of closeness as they come, bc very few of my close friends have remained the same for the last year. Even fewer the last five. I could certainly count them on one hand. But that’s okay! You can’t always love a lot of people and love them all equally well. At the end of the day, we’re finite and we most affect and are most affected by the people in our lives day to day.

My roommates both moved out (for separate reasons) right as several (more) things on the house went wrong and now I am back to paying for the mortgage by myself with a savings that has been wiped out by weddings and family problems as well as house problems over the last year.

My faith, as always, walks a razors edge, as I wrestle not let truth fall prey to opinion and desire. Trying to understand the things that bewilder me, to be faithful to God, to know and love Him, is slowly becoming easier. Setting down my burden, learning truly to be weak—oh I so hate to be weak— is healing me. In a lancing the wound, cutting out the gangrene, pouring alcohol on the cut kind of way. But in my core, in my heart of hearts, I believe and know (despite all the religious corruption I grew up in), that this Jesus was who he said he was and that truth must decide my life.

I once hiked a trail that I was not in the best shape for. But I had trained for it and was in better shape than I had thought. I got so hungry, but there were enough snacks. I was so thirsty, but we had plenty of water. I got winded, but there was enough time for me to take breaks. My legs were burning, but finally we started to go downhill. My brother got cold, but I had an extra jacket. We got frustrated, but we started to be silly and soon were laughing. I got disheartened, but my brother ran ahead to tell me there was a sign (parking lot one kilometer ahead).

I would not have been strong enough to do that hike unequipped and alone. But I was equipped and I wasn’t alone. Just as I have not been unequipped and alone the past year or the past twenty-five. And I won’t be for whatever’s left.

[miasanmuller]

So @acrazybayernfan came up with this absolutely incredible tag game and I'm 100% here for it so let's go:

What is your top 10 most memorable Bayern’s matches?

In no particular order:

Well needless to say: 8-2. I mean... it's just too iconic to not mention lol.

I also can't not mention Robert Lewandowski loses his motherfucking mind scores 5 times in 9 minutes against Wolfsburg in 2015. I mean, it's historic.

2015 UCL, the second leg against Porto during quarter-finals. That was the time I learned the valuable lesson of never giving up and to keep believing in the team and in this club. That game was insane and we ended up winning 6-1 and securing our place in Semi-finals when we died a horrible horrible death but anyway. I remember watching that game and feeling so much pride and joy of being a Bayern fan, I get emotional just to remember it lol

Now this one is really special to me for an unusual reason, I guess: home game against Bremen during the 2014-15 Bundesliga. We won 6-0, it was the second highest score we got that season I think (if I remember correctly we went on to win against H*mburg 8-0, or was it before? whatever). I remember this game bc Fips scored a brace and it was just LEGENDARY bc you wouldn't expect him to score let alone score twice in a single match. I remember screaming like crazy when he scored the first and then just dying when he did it again lmao it was fun

Another one from the 2014-15 season (this was my first season around so I remember a lot of stuff): away game against Mainz, we won 2-1. I'm not exactly sure if it was Basti's first game since he came back from injury (after the WC) or if it was one of the first games... in any case, he scored an insane goal (which to this day is one of my favorite Bayern goals ever) and I screamed like crazy and I was watching it back in my parent's house and my dad walked in while I was screaming lmao

2015-16 UCL, 2nd leg against Juve in Round of 16. We desperately needed to win and we begun losing and no one really expected us to make it through. I remember this one bc I actually didn't watch it: I don't remember exactly if I couldn't find a stream or what, but the best I could do was read live updates on a website and pray. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life and I remember abandoning my phone at one point bc I was sure we wouldn't win. And we did. Lmao.

2019-20 Bundesliga. Away game in Frankfurt, the infamous 5-1. This one was during a time where I drifted away from Bayern due to depression and stuff and I didn't feel as connected to the team as I used to and then I remember seeing the scoreline and just... dying inside. Feeling like something was very, very wrong with the world. I can't remember the match exaclty, but I have never let go of it since then and to this day I loathe Frankfurt for this specific match.

This year's Pokal match against Freiburg in April. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life as a Bayern fan. It was our second game with Tuchel and I was already feeling that I would want that man's head on a silver plate (and I still do).

Another one (last one) from the 2014-15 season bc this one is really really special: our friendly against MLS All-Stars before the start of the season. Which we lost. It's special bc it was the first Bayern match I actually watched!!! I remember feeling very happy when I found a channel that was showing it and I was very excited even though the WC guys wouldn't play (I think they ended up being subbed in in the 2nd half? I don't remember exactly). Everybody was talking about Lewandowski and I was all ?????!!!! bc I had no concept of anything. It was an awful match but a very fun experience lmao

And last but not least: our UCL win against PSG in 2020. It wasn't the way we all wanted it to be, but since I was just coming back from my "fan retirement" I remember exploding from joy after that game and throwing myself on the floor and rolling around and idk it was priceless. Making P$G fail and Neymar cry has got to be some of the best things we do every now and then lmao thanks for that Bayern

I know a lot of you have already been tagged (I didn't check if any of you already did it lmao) but I'll tag anyway bc I'm just like that. I tag @thomas-mvller @thomats @probayern @miss-i-ship-it @fabioquartararhoe @smolnerdz @smilesleepandspeak and @leongolretzka (but please don't feel pressured to do it ^^)

[away-ward]

from pen.d's goodreads qna:

Lottie asked Penelope Douglas:

Hi Pen! I just wondered is there any chance you will write a bonus scene for Aydin and Alex? I’d love to have seen more of them (their wedding night particularly haha), Aydin was such an interesting character. Also, what is the gift Damon received from Christiane in Fire Night? Damon is my favourite character of yours, I loved every tidbit we get about him and will miss reading about him. Thanks :)

Penelope Douglas Hi, Lorrie! Always possible!  And Christiane gave Damon and journal--the left page is for the parent to fill out and the right is for the child. Like "List your top 10 favorite movies" It's a way for parents and children to learn about each other, communicate, etc. She's filled it out for most of Damon's life, and she finally passed it on to him.  Thanks for the question!

-

oh? so they're actually not done with this series? 🙃 aydin and alex 😶🔫 just k-word me already. No bcs why tf will it be aydinalex, kaibanks and willemmy's fans have been asking extra since forever but there were so little? but aydin and alex could be possible? i thought they said so many times before that they were SOOOOOOO fucking done with this series and the books, and hoped that fans will move on and be happy, didnt want to change anything blablabla, emory was heavily disliked yadayadayada, but they just kept on firing shit up, AND include these two imbecile ass characters that were hated by many, in everything? 😤😕

sometimes i wonder where they even got their insights? Like who did they even listen to when they said their readers hated emory and love alex more? Beta readers? Pendragon FB fan group? PR lists? Publishers? Editors? Because they're definitely not coming fom the majority of their fans everywhere else. It's like they have a secret society of feedback givers that we dont know about and kept on putting content that we never asked for because they listened to that unknown society, and again was surprised when their content got so many backlash! And they never owned up to anything too!! God! We at least could've gotten a bonus of emmy being pregnant or some shit, or how will is faring with his college degree, or some more domestic willemmy things, but ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! This? pd's just so full of shit 😓

ahhhh, I see. I had to check goodreads to see when they posted it.

My understanding is that PD will always leave the door open to write a scene here or there, but they have no plans (read: intentions) to continue the series or pick up with their children.

As for the Alex bit, you best believe that PD is all too happy to write about her, Rika, and Damon. It's confirmed that Damon is their favorite.

But look at this from their website:

"As an adolescent, I was quiet, shy, and afraid. No mistakes could be made, because people would hate me or I’d be alone. So rather than run, I walked. Rather than climb, I kept my feet on the ground. And rather than say “yes,” I always said “no.” And as a result, I didn’t live.

And I still felt disposable, fearful, and alone.

What would they say about me when I was gone? Would I have regrets? Every day that I didn’t blaze a trail swallowed me up.

So I decided I wouldn’t be invisible or waste another second. I left home, went to college, and traveled. I took trains from Atsugi to Tokyo all by myself. I jumped Hiji Falls when others joked I wouldn’t do it. (I did it twice.) I climbed Mt. Fuji, and I moved to New Orleans for graduate school without knowing a single person in the city. I did what I dreamed, and I was a lot happier.

I don’t worry so much anymore, and I don’t let others’ opinions hold me back.

Be yourself, and OWN it. You know what that means? Be loud and proud. Nurture who you are and good things will come. Most importantly, your happiness."

Sounds a little like Rika's character arc, no?

And in Corrupt, Alex was everything Rika wasn't; bold, sexual, loud and proud. Since Corrupt was a stand alone, I think the relationship between Rika and Alex is special to PD. There's something about Rika, Alex, and Damon that has a tight hold on PD, so we should always expect that if we're getting new content, it will strongly feature one of them.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of readers who hate Emory and love Alex. I wish neither character was hated and that there wasn't competition in the fandom over them. That's so exhausting. I wish PD had planned on writing a series from the start, so that they balanced all these characters better. I wish they enjoyed writing about Kai and Will, and Banks and Emory, as much as they enjoyed writing about Rika and Damon. I wish that they didn't listen to fans so much - there're those that enjoy Alex and those who don't. They're always going to get contradictory requests over her.

Just be happy willemmy was clearly always endgame and nothing changed that for them. Not even all the fans that were rooting for Alex. And be happy that the less PD touches willemmy, the more we can imagine our own scenarios for them.

Sorry for the disappointing q&a. PD's q&a's are always... interesting to me.

Thanks for the message!!

KO