#there's so many things I need to talk about with TK

[mymistakewriting]

TK & the concept of recovery

Part 2 of screaming into the void. This one is a little tricky just because of how expansive it's going to be, so as with all of my posts like this, if you have questions or want me to delve a little deeper into a specific event, let me know and I'll do that.

Trigger & Content warnings: mentions of addiction & withdrawal, mentions of cancer, death, gun violence, hostage situations, etc. If I'm missing any tags, let me know.

TK's concept of recovery is a little screwy. Let me start this post off with that honesty - of everyone, he's the one that understands best that recovery isn't black and white, but he's also the one that sets very rigid standards for himself when it comes to recovery.

Starting with the most obvious "recovery" that he's gone through - addiction. He had a pretty clean initial recovery, did all the right things even if those things weren't exactly by choice. He went through rehab with a highly-recommended facility the entire way across the country from the locations and people that he had tied to his addictions. He was in a facility that offered medical assistance to get through withdrawals (which is SO important in opioid withdrawals when you're trying to get clean because the withdrawals themselves can kill you, never mind how fast your tolerance to them tanks when you first stop taking them, almost guaranteeing an overdose if you relapse during that initial week of withdrawal where you feel like you're dying). He had an amazing support system thanks to his mom. And yeah, he had a backslide or two in his recovery, that's normal. And yeah, there's some anxiety that comes with that, which is totally understandable. But his addiction recovery is the only recovery he's experienced over the course of the show that felt like he was letting his body and emotions have the time to process what he was going through.

When it comes to anything else? There's just something slightly off about how he recovers from it.

Him finding out about Owen's cancer and immediately curling inwards? Lashing out about a dog because it's the only way that he knows how to put words to how he feels about his dad and the very real risk that he was going to lose him despite the fact that TK spent most of his childhood without the man who turned his grief inward and threw himself into work instead of being there for his son. There was just something more permanent about the idea of Owen dying than there was in him burying himself in saving people and leaving TK to deal with all those feelings of not being enough on his own that it was so easy to forget that things weren't always great with Owen because that's his dad.

Or being shot and immediately freaking out the second he came out of his coma because he went down in the middle of a traumatic event and his fight or flight never got a chance to run it's course, but he was right back in action before he was even healed even if he wasn't officially back with the 126 on his own recognizance because he didn't know if he really wanted to be a firefighter and needed some time to figure that out, figure out who he was outside of the identity that he'd clung to for some sense of security and meaning and hope for so long because if it worked for his dad why wouldn't it work for him? TK has always been the person to care about everyone else first and worry about whatever shambles that leaves him in last because that's how Owen works and so that's how his relationship with the world was always going to be. It didn't matter that he was tearing stitches or working himself into a frenzy with no backup and no way to let anyone know what was happening because he was just a civilian, he's always going to prioritize saving other people first. (This will come in a later post, but there's a reason that I loved the stripped back version of Unsteady that they used for that scene and I have so much to scream about for it).

Similarly, his recovery post-coma after he went under the ice. He knew damn well what he was doing when he took off from the car with hypothermia. That wasn't a spur of the moment thing because he wasn't thinking right, not entirely, it was a moment of "if I die, I don't want Tommy and Nancy to witness it". It was a "they don't deserve to lose another paramedic, another friend, right in front of them". But it's also why he didn't fight them when they came after him to help him. He knew it was important to them that they try and I don't think he's ever going to feel like he's apologized enough for putting them through having to get his heart being again when it stopped on the field. And again, as soon as he was awake after fighting himself and his own brain about it to a point that he coded again in that damn hospital bed, his thought isn't about his own wellbeing, it's about Carlos and his need to have the other man breathing right because it's okay, they're both safe, it's going to all be okay.

There's a million small examples of it. TK doesn't know what recovery means for him outside of the glaringly obvious version of it with his addiction, and a lot of that is because I don't think he puts himself anywhere on a list of things that he sees as important enough to "save". It's such a subtle thing, but he cares so much about everyone else that their well-being, their being okay, their ability to keep going is always going to come before TK's ability to survive a situation in his mind. And it's not that he doesn't care, it's just that that's how he knows how to show how MUCH he cares.

[puppyeared]

When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings

[the-kipsabian]

tldr of an essay i havent even wrote yet, but i do think with how they treated him since the very beginning kip showed interest in joining the patriarchy, by literally calling his dead dad a loser and kip a disappointment among other things, there is just absolutely no real way kip would want to join forces with them willingly without an ulterior motive of making them break for the hell they put him through at one of his lowest points

[autisticlee]

I think one of my maon problems with people right now is I dont have the energy or ability to get to know new people. I need someone i already know to step up and fulfill some of my social needs, but no one I know wants to do that. either they have lives now and i'd disrupt it, or one or both of us changed too much and we won't get along now since we haven't talked in ober a decade. or they don't live near me anymore. or some other reasons. it makes me have bo choice but to find new people. but I cannot. for many reasons. and i'm too tired to try anymore. the more I try and the more I think about trying the closer I get to bursting into tears and going into meltdown mode. again.

it's easier and saves energy to already know someone and just go do something without needing to talk first, rather than needing to get to know them and do the small talk or the whole new-person song and dance. after doing all that for a day, i'm too exhausted to continue. it makes my brain shut down and run away and I have to sleep for a week and ignore everyone.

[paperstorm]

Oh I just love everything about that clip what the fuck. Tk’s initial indignation like UM I am fucking fantastic at blowjobs this is an insult to my entire bloodline!!! How much PAIN Carlos is in, how you can see tears in his eyes as he forces himself to talk about his father even though you can tell how much he doesn’t want to. TK being so trapped between so much empathy for what Carlos is going through but also so much fear for the path he’s going down. The momentary look of utter betrayal on Carlos’s face when TK tells her the thing about “Carlos believes the answer is in one of his dad’s open cases”, before he realizes ugh yeah I guess this is what we’re here to talk about and explains further. Telling TK he’s been incredible, TK looking genuinely moved like he really did need to hear that. The tremor in Carlos’s voice when he admits “it hurts”, it’s so so hard for him to even say that out loud, to be that vulnerable, even in front of TK let alone a stranger. TK acknowledging how hard Carlos is working, as if to say “he hasn’t found what happened to his father but it’s not his fault, he’s trying so hard.” How wounded Carlos looks as he sits there and has to face that he’s trying to be perfect at so many things and can’t juggle them all (all he ever wants is to be good enough and in this moment he’s not). The way TK looks so … lost. He’s trying so hard but he can’t seem to stop his husband slipping through his grasp and he doesn’t know what to do. All done with so much kindness and empathy, no one is the villain they are just people who adore each other who are going through something for which there is no easy answer. It’s all! So! Good!!

[forever-rogue]

Hi, love! So i’m not sure if your taking requests but i have a prompt for joel and you’re currently my favorite joel writer so 🥰 i can’t get this idea out of my head of reader being joel’s neighbor and being extremely nice and kind to everyone (especially to him and ellie cause she has feelings for him duh) and he’s kinda in love with her too but won’t admit it (ellie knows and nags him about it) but he also kinda judges her and thinks she’s “weak” cause she’s “too soft”, and then one day for whatever reason he ends up snapping at her and saying that “you have no idea what it is to lose a child” only to later find out from tommy that reader actually lost a baby under pretty awful circumstances and then he’s mortified but she’s super mad at him? I have no idea where this came from i guess i just like pain 🤷‍♀️ totally understand if you don’t feel like it though! Tks babe

AN | Please, this is so cute but sad, but there’s also a happy ending 💕

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language, Mentions of child death

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The pie in your hands smelled delicious, still warm and fresh, as you waited on Joel's porch. You rocked back and forth on your heels as you listened for his familiar footsteps to come to the door. Just when you were about to give up and save it for later, the door slowly opened.

"Hey," there was Joel, leaning against the doorway with a lazy little smile on his face, "what a pleasant surprise."

"Me or the pie?" You always managed to fall into an easy rapport with him. Your back and forth always seemed to turn from teasing to flirting, honestly? You loved it.

"Oh, you brought pie? I didn't even notice," your cheeks warmed up at his response. You shook your head and sighed playfully at him. He stepped aside and motioned for you to follow him, "do you want to come in?"

"I suppose I can spare you a few minutes of my precious time," you flashed him a pretty smile as you flounced past him. Making your way into the kitchen, you set the pie down before uncovering it to show him, "I even made your favorite."

"You spoil me," he practically groaned at the sight of the delicious treat. He immediately turned to the cabinets to grab some plates, "what's the occasion?"

"There's none," you grabbed some forks and knives, "the trees produced so many apples we couldn't use them fast enough. I figured pie was a good solution and I know you love it. So here we are."

"Here we are," he agreed softly, "thank you, darlin'."

"No need to thank me," you sat down and cut into the pie, "you just owe me now."

"I am forever in your debt," he down across from you, a knowing little look in his pretty brown eyes. You made a small sound of agreement as you passed him a slice, "whatever you want, just name it."

"I'll take you up on that offer."

"Good."

"Good."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You should tell her you know,” Ellie broke the silence over dinner as she looked over at Joel from across the table. He froze with his fork about halfway to his mouth. He stuffed the bite into his mouth and took his sweet time swallowing it before sighing and raising an eyebrow at her, “don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I do,” he admitted, figuring it was better to admit to the truth rather than lie to her. She looked so pleased with herself as she leaned back in her seat, “but I ain’t doing anything about anything. Get that into your head, kiddo.”

“Why not?” she huffed, waving her hand dismissively at him, “you’re so lame. Ugh.”

“Maybe I am,” he agreed with a nod of his head, “but your opinion isn’t going to change anything. I am okay with how things are right now. There’s no need to go and change things up.”

“But she feels the same way!” and it really was obvious; everyone knew. You also knew that everyone knew. It was like the worst kept secret in Jackson, “one of you has to make a move eventually.”

“Ellie-”

“Joel,” she looked at him seriously, her small face taking on a dire expression, “you’re being stupid.”

“Ellie.”

“You’re denying yourself potential happiness,” Joel had to admit that she had a point, regardless of whether or not he would act on it. He was so happy around you, you made him feel so alive and carefree and loved. You were like his very own ray of sunshine. He could only imagine what it would be like if the two of you added romance to the equation. It wasn’t hard to imagine what it would be like to kiss you and touch you and make love to you. It really would have been like a dream, “and her. Plus you’d be so cute together!”

“With that logic, she’s also denying herself happiness,” he wondered if you thought about him the way he thought about you. He’d be lucky if you even spared him more than a passing thought, “so, have you given her this speech?”

“Not yet,” she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders, “I was going to try you first. She’s usually the more logical one…so.”

“So,” Joel mirrored Ellie’s position and crossed his arms over his broad chest, “you’ll leave her alone and drop this.”

“Not a chance!”

“I didn’t think so,” the girl shoved the last mouthful of food into her mouth, “I’m going to her.”

“I know,” Joel drummed his fingers along the table and let out a resigned sigh, “I know.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Despite Ellie's insistence that he tell you how he feels, he didn't do anything about it. Namely, he couldn't manage to work up the courage to do so. To him, admitting that he had feelings for you was akin to admitting he was weak. Feelings made people soft and made things harder when, inevitably, the relationship would end one way or another. Why would he willing put himself through that again? It had almost killed him when he'd lost Sarah and later when the same happened with Tess. If it hadn't been for Ellie, he wasn't sure he'd have made it. But Ellie was going to be around forever either.

It was a complicated tangle of emotions, and the best solution for him had to been to keep a few people, currently Tommy and Ellie, close while others remained behind a wall. 

You, meanwhile, loved and cared for people so openly. It was easy to see that in everything you said and did. You had a giant heart, but you were just setting yourself for failure. One day something bad would happen and you'd fall apart. Joel wasn't sure he could handle that. 

He didn't want to lose you; he loved you, he really did, but he also didn't want his heart to break.

Ellie had come to you as well and pushed you to profess your feelings. While not as in denial about everything as Joel, you weren't about to make that first leap. What if you overstepped and pushed him away? You didn't want that; you'd rather keep him as a friend than lose him entirely.

You'd noticed over the last couple of weeks that something had been nagging at Joel. You didn't push the issue, but hoped he'd trust you enough to confide in you at some point.

It turned out that some point didn't come as you expected.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel had come over to your house, and the two of you were making dinner together. It was a routine you'd often fall into and it felt so blissfully domestic. You'd never really made a comment about it before, but something caused you to feel a certain amount of bravado and led you to actually pointing it out.

"You know, this is so much like playing house," you teased softly as you nudged his side with your elbow.

"It does," he agreed with a small smile. He liked the idea of living with you permanently. If he was being honest, the thought of sleeping with you and waking up to you in his arms, of spending lazy evenings in a tangle of limbs was something that crossed his mind more than he cared to admit. In another life, he'd have made those moves already and might have even called you this wife, "kinda nice."

"Mhmm," you continued chopping away at the fresh vegetables that you'd picked for dinner, "all that's missing now is a couple of kids running around."

He stiffened for a moment, his mind first going to the image of you round and pregnant with his child and then to sheer terror. Kids were all well and good, but something just told him they would be a bad idea. He remained silent and kept his gaze on the stove.

"You ever think about having kids in  the future?" you had hesitated for a moment before asking but, how did that old saying go? Curiosity killed the cat?

"No," he said without a second thought. It was a lie, of course it was. He'd thought about it a lot, especially since he'd met you. 

"Oh," your breath hitched in your throat at the sudden shift in emotion. You focused on what was in front of you rather than anything else. Something was off and you could immediately sense that you might have said the wrong thing. It was still hard for you too sometimes, "I'm sure that it's still…hard. Losing your daughter….I'm sure it was the hardest thing ever. I l-"

“Don’t,” there was a furious look on his face and you couldn’t help the way you recoiled away from him. He’d gone through such a shift in emotions that it was a little scary - you’d never seen him like this before, “don’t fucking talk about my daughter.”

“Joel, I didn’t mean anything by it,” you felt a few hot, salty tears run down your cheeks. You took a step back to create a distance between yourself, wiping the tears away with the sleeve of your sweater, “I was just saying-”

“You don’t know shit,” he stormed towards the door and threw it open harshly. You were surprised that it didn’t fall off the hinges, “you have no clue what it’s like to lose a child.”

With that, he stormed off, leaving you there staring in shock. Your mind was still trying to process what was going on as you closed the door. Your whole body felt like it was trembling as you leaned against the counter and took a few deep breaths. 

That wasn’t him, is what you tried to keep telling yourself. That wasn’t your Joel…he would never have talked to you like that. A sensitive topic had been brought up and he was hurting…anyone could have responded in such a manner. 

But, you decided, you’d give him some space. Maybe seeing you wasn’t the best thing for him right now….you were sure he’d come to you when he was ready to. Until then you would just love and support him from a distance; but that was the thing and you hoped he knew it too - you’d always love him. Not matter what happened, Joel Miller had your heart.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey big brother,” Tommy caught Joel’s attention as he walked into the tavern, flashing him a meek smile. Joel looked up and offered a wave in a sign of acknowledgment. Before he could say anything else, Tommy’s fist collided with his face, causing him to stumble off his stool. He clutched at his face, surprised by the sudden attack, “heard you were being an asshole.”

“What the fuck!?” Joel clutched at his face in shock as he took in Tommy's angry expression. And here he thought that they were getting along well these days. But then he said - your name, "listen-"

"No, you listen," Tommy grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer so only he could hear his next words, "I can't believe you yelled at her. And you told her she doesn't know what it's like to lose a child? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" Joel's brows furrowed in confusion. Yes, he hated himself for yelling at you, but it had all been in the moment. He agreed with that part anyway, "what are you talking about?"

"You're an idiot and an asshole," Tommy shook his head, "you're not the only one who's lost everything. You're not the only one who's lost their child."

"W-what?"

"She lost her son," Joel's face fell as realization crashed over him like an icy wave, "to one of those clicker bastards. It almost got her too. You ever notice that scar on her face? Now you know where it comes from."

"Tommy-"

"Next time don't assume you know everything," he shoved him and put a bit of distance between themselves, "don't ever be a dick to her again. It won't end well."

With that, Tommy left Joel sitting there with a sore face and aching heart. Not that it was undeserved, but still. Joel knew what he had to do, but he wasn't sure you'd give him the time of day. But you were so good and kind that he realistically knew that you'd let him explain. 

All those things that he thought had made you weak actually made you so stronger. Much stronger than he was apparently.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was late in the evening a couple of days later when he knocked at your door. You were both surprised but in a way had been expecting him. It was Joel after all, and the two of you shared a special bond; it wouldn’t be so easily broken. 

“H-hi,” his cheeks immediately pinked when he saw your pretty face and he felt like either running away and never looking back or throwing up then and there. You offered him a small smile in return but otherwise remained silent, “I, uh, I wanted to…I came to…apologize. I’m sorry for the other day. It doesn’t excuse it, but I was just wanted to let you know. So…yeah.”

“Do you want to come in?” you asked softly, causing him to look at you in pure awe. 

"I-what?"

"I just made some tea," you stepped aside and beckoned for him to follow, "I couldn't sleep so I thought it might help."

He was incredulous as he stepped into your kitchen and watched you make him a cup. In the warm yellow light of the kitchen, he studied you intently. He noticed the scar running from your cheek and disappearing into your temple. It wasn't the first time he spotted the scar but it was the first time he made the connection.

"Why?" He asked as he sat down across from you, pulling the cup of tea closer, "why aren't you telling me to go fuck myself and leave?"

"There's no reason to," you shrugged before taking a long, thoughtful sip of your tea, "I assume Tommy told you by now."

"How'd you know?"

"I can see the bruising on your face," you reached over and gently ghosted your finger along his skin, "and no one would dare to hit you besides him. Or maybe Ellie."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and giving it a squeeze, "I had no clue."

"It's not something I usually go and advertise," you sat back in your seat and exhaled slowly, "losing a child isn't easy. It doesn't really get easier but time lessens the sting. I can tell you more about…him and everything that happened sometime. If you want to hear it, but not tonight. Tonight we can just…just be."

"Yes," he reached for your hand and put his hand on top of yours, "I know it doesn't seem like it but I…care for you. Very deeply."

"I know you do, Joel," your assurance made him feel so much lighter; it felt like the weight of the world was off his shoulders, "I care for you too. There's a lot we still have to learn about each other Joel, but I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here."

"Me too," there was a hopeful smile on his face as you squeezed his hand, "I'm not going anywhere."

[911lsbts]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: The episode starts with Tarlos in therapy. How long do you think this problem has been brewing?

RONEN RUBINSTEIN: Season 5 picking up a year since the finale of season 4, I think that justifies the amount of time that it would take for a relationship to start getting a little rocky. I think it wouldn't really make sense if we came back immediately after the honeymoon and things started to go south. For me, it was just really trying to understand where Carlos is coming from and knowing that, yes, TK has his wants and his needs — but at the end of the day, it's always about "How can I be the most supportive, loving, caring husband?" And I think that's just TK as a person. He's done that for his father, for his mother, for Carlos, for all of his firefighter comrades, his paramedic comrades, and all the patients out in the field.

So TK is not necessarily upset with Carlos...

I think the stress and anxiety for TK doesn't necessarily come from, "I'm not feeling seen, I'm not getting attention." It's more of "I'm really scared for my husband and he's hunting down some really bad people that could lead to a really, really scary situation, might even get him hurt." I would be curious to see which one of them suggested we try couples counseling. I would like to think it's TK, and it just shows how incredible their relationship is that Carlos would agree to do it. I think they're obviously so madly in love, and so committed to each other, and they know that they're going to need some extra help in order to figure things out.

And their anniversary gifts show the therapy worked.

It just shows how beautiful these two are and how much they care and love each other and just how uniquely different they are. I think that scene is a perfect example of that. It seemed like it turned out to be a beautiful anniversary.

So what's next for Tarlos?

Well, [TK's step-father] Enzo and [half-brother] Jonah coming into their lives is going to throw a massive wrench into everything. What's cool about the Enzo storyline is it's something I've been asking for and daydreaming about since season 1, since I learned that Enzo was actually the person that raised TK. We're going to have so many questions answered about that dynamic, and we're going to find out even deeper about the dynamic between TK and Owen [Rob Lowe], which you kind of feel like you know everything, but we actually don't. And I think it's going to come to a head of actually what went on with TK and Owen when he was younger. So I'm really excited about that. It brings such an incredible scene between Rob and me. And then with Jonah, that's going to ask a lot of questions. I think a lot of things that the fans have hoped for and have feared, I think that's coming.... You'll know exactly what I'm talking about when that episode airs.

[olinblogin]

Someone requested this but I lost the request so I hope they see this TAT

I also added Mihawk speaking Spanish in this- I’m using google translate so please correct me if I said anything wrong :3

CROCODILE X GN!TIMID/SHY!READER X MIHAWK

Shuffling through your papers, your hands shook and nearly made you drop all of them. It was the first time you’d ever been complicit in a Warlord meeting.

They usually didn’t let you into these kinds of meetings since you were just a lower rank, but still a bit higher than cadets. Only reason you were here is because Sengoku got sick with something and Garp is too busy trying not to choke on rice crackers to deliver this speech.

Sighing, you mumbled words of assurance tk yourself, “it’s fine, I got this. I got this.” you tried and tried, but it only seemed to make you more afraid and aware of you soon being in the presence of the seven deadliest pirates of the sea… well… apart from the four Yonkou’s, that is.

Twisting the knob to the room where they usually held these kinds of things. All seven warlords were sat around a table, some chattering about, some paying zero mind. The babbling consisted of Gecko Moria trying to threaten Bartholomew Kuma… and he wasn’t reacting, only sitting through his Bible he carried at all times.

Thankfully they didn’t seem to pay mind to you… besides two of them. By far some of the most intimidating of the two, Dracule Mihawk, and Crocodile.

Mihawk’s eyes bore into you as you walk past, golden eyes piercing into the back of your head as if he was skimming you with them. Choking back a shudder, you sped-walk towards Garp, who was, of course, eating rice crackers. You two whispered among each other; and thankfully, he had that relationship with you that calmed your severe anxiety. You saw him as a grandfather in a way… even if not blood related..

Letting out a little sigh, you positioned yourself in front of the table, clearing your throat and catching the attention of all seven of the pirates.

“I.. uhm-.. as you all likely know, there’s been a spike in pirate attacks and raiding in the east blue… we’ve tried stationing marine galleons in those areas but there seems to be some that are infiltrated and firing at marine ships that come in. As much as we’d like to limit violence as much as we possibly can and put an end to those pirates reins; we do need your help. We ask you to please, if possible, go into the East blue and search for their marine galleons that have been hijacked. We understand this is likely frustrating we’ve had to call on all of you do many times..-“

Your speech was cut off by Doflamingo, to which you fought back a sneer at his audacity.

“So you want us to go beat around some low-lives, that’s it? Fufufu… and might I ask what you of all people are delivering this speech for. I thought it was supposed to be Sengoku blabbering on. Not a pretty thing such as yourself… such a shame you ended up in the marines, though.” He scoffed. You couldn’t help but recognized the not-so-discreet glares from Mihawk and Crocodile sent his way… they were just oozing with Conquerer’s Haki.

“Please allow me to finish my speech, then we can talk afterwards…” you say meekly.

“But why? I’m just stating how it’s a waste of such a beauty as yourself getting pushed into the Marines like this. Why don’t you come back to my kingdom with me, I promise I’ll treat you right and make you feel bliss you’ve never f—“ with that, Garp had cut him off, “I’d like to ask you to please be quiet as Y/N said; save any questions for after they are done giving their speech.”

You gave a quiet ‘thanks’ to Garp, resuming your speech.

The meeting flew by faster than you thought… and you were thankful for that.

You skittered out of the room… after you have the speech Garp had promised to let you go around town for a bit… you slipped off your uniform and slid yourself into a black tank top and some cargo shorts.

Shuffling out of your room and out of the marine base, you wandered aimlessly around town; not having any goal in mind besides just looking around.

“Hello.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard a voice behind you.

A smooth, soft voice may you add.

Spinning around you nearly stumbled and fell, catching yourself clumsily.

“My apologies for startling you, cosa bonita.” You recognized the man as Dracule Mihawk. His cold, golden eyes were unblinking, staring into your very soul… it was no wonder he was called ‘Hawk-Eye Mihawk’.

“Oh.. uhm. That’s fine.” You’d mutter.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well, uhm… it was nice talking to you..” you turned to leave, shuddering when you felt his cold, calloused hand grab your wrist. “Wait, cariño, por favor. I have a proposition… one I believe you might be interested in.” His words lingered in your mind.

A deal? What was he about to say…

“Don’t scare the poor thing. They’d be better off with me anyhow, considering how freaky your place is.”

This time, a rougher voice. In a gust of sand whirling around, you covered your eyes with your arm, shielding then from the whipping sand until it formed a person, Crocodile. You could see the curl of Mihawk’s nose; offended by Crocodile’s backhanded insult… you felt meek. You were practically sandwiched between these two warlords.

“I’ll have you know.. the gothic architecture of my home is authentic.” You could hear the sass in Mihawk’s voice…

“Wait..- Wait, What Are you two talking about..? Does this have to do with Mihawk’s.. uh.. proposition?”

“The proposition. Right. How forgetful of me, mi amado.” Mihawk said thoughtfully. “I would like you to come back with me.” Your eyes must’ve been wide as saucers… because Crocodile smirked, flicking ash from his cigar. “Seems there’s a bit of a competition. I was going to ask the same thing. You should come with me; I’d shower you with gifts of gold. You’d be the ruler alongside me.” Crocodile spoke sweetly, soothing and convincing, his hand slithering up your arm until he rested a hand on your hot cheeks.

“I don’t believe they would enjoy waking to the hot desert every day. Besides, that would be quite agitating, the sand in your eyes, si, Mi amada?” Mihawk spoke just as smoothly. “I would cook meals for you every night. We could unwind in my study and drink wine… I have the finest server to you.”

“Tch. That’s nothing.” Crocodile mused.

“That does sound lovely, really but..” you cleared your throat and stepped back. “but I’d prefer to stay here, I think. I don’t really want to leave here because I don’t really want to leave Garp behind-“

“That slag will be fine on his own.” Crocodile interrupts, biting down on the cigar in his mouth.

“I know he’ll be fine.. I mean- yeah, he’s more than capable of taking care of himself. It’s more of an emotional attachment than anything.” The two let out a quiet ‘ah’ as they listened intently, softening their posture when you’d back away. After a moment of awkward silence you scooter away, “it was a pleasure meeting you, goodbye.” Before you scurry along the streets, getting lost in the crowd of people who battered the merchant stalls and haggled.

The stress collapsed when you could smell the familiar scent of spices. Even if the streets were as crowded as they were, you still felt a sense of comfort knowing there were people around.

A horrible fear of being alone, you had.

Through the winding crowd you finally made it to your safe space among the cliff side overlooking the vast ocean, a particularly beautiful glint among the oceans currents that the sun beamed down on.

Taking out your rice cakes you packed for your lunch-break you chowed down like a starving dog.

“It seems they don’t give you proper portions of food in the marines,” you nearly squealed out of fear and choked on your rice cake, whipping around to see Mihawk looming over you.

“N-no.. they feed us proper portions—.. ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ..” you spoke after swallowing a large portion of the rice cake that went down quite painfully.

“Is that so. Hm. If that were the case would you not be in the mess hall, and eating the food they provide, cariño?” He questioned smoothly, standing by you, keeping eye contact with you.

It made a flush creep up your neck.

“I get really anxious when being around people—“

“But you seemed to feel quite comfortable in that crowd not much earlier,”

You pursed your lips shut, unsure what to say. When the words finally came to you, they came out much meeker than you’d wished; “I guess I’m just really anxious at work..?”

Mihawk’s eyes narrowed, royal golden eyes pierced yours. “I see.” He said simply.

You both say in a somewhat comfortable silence as you—as quietly as you could—finished your lunch. “Where’s uhm..- Crocodile?” You asked, cleaning up your area a bit. “I’m not sure where that oaf has gone. There’s no need to worry for someone as he is, Querida.” Mihawk would hum quietly.

Just as if on cue, it was like Crocodile materialized behind you two. “Don’t taint the dear’s mind, you enigmatic man. We both know they need someone with real emotion.” You had no clue what to say after it clicked in your head.

Were they truly fighting for your affection?

A few comments—mainly from Crocodile—were passed, until both turned to you.

“Well, who will you choose?”

[ros3ybabeslanguages]

Language Resources 🎀

*that I currently use for studying Spanish. When I pick up studying Japanese again, I will make a list for that as well <3 I currently use a handful of resources for learning Spanish, and they've all proven very useful so far!

🩷 My Current Resources for Spanish

Busuu - hands down my favorite language learning app. So much better than Duolingo, in my opinion (especially for languages with a different alphabet/writing system). I bought the premium for a year, which will expire in Septmeber, but I'm debating renewing again because I love it so much.

LingQ - I like using this for reading in Spanish. It gives me different types of things to read about, and while I don't have premium, I do put all the words I don't know into flashcards on AnkiApp on my laptop and translate anything I don't know using SpanishDict.

SpanishDict - favorite translation/dictionary app. I know it has lessons you can use, tho I haven't tried it yet, but I really do love this app. It's super helpful when I'm making flashcards or writing random vocabulary notes.

Goodnotes - This is a general note-taking app, but I love it because it allows you to import and write on PDFs, and that's just perfect for me! I've downloaded free PDF short stories/children's stories in Spanish and made notes of words I don't know, and taken notes in the app too. Definitely my favorite notes app, ever.

Italki - I know this is a website, too, but I use the app. It lets you work with professional teachers/community tutors in your target language. You can have structured lessons or just use it for conversation practice. I did a trial lesson not too long ago and have an upcoming lesson booked out in about 5 days. You pay per lesson, so there is no subscription, and there are so many languages and teachers/tutors to choose from. I did a lot of research before choosing a teacher, and I'm very happy with my decision so far. Definitely useful if there's not native speakers near you or you're like me and not confident talking to people you know in your target language/their native language.

Quizlet/AnkiApp - I use AnkiApp more then quizlet, and the Anki I'm referring to is NOT the same way everyone else uses, but it's the flashcard app of preference at the moment. I tried the AnkiDroid app and hated it. But yeah, AnkiApp is useful for flashcards and I really like it. I have it on my Chromebook and my Ipad.

Netflix - I love watching shows in Spanish on Netflix so much. I am currently watching La Reina del Sur on it (used to watch that sporadically in the past at a friend's house) and plan on watching some other shows, including Elite.

Spotify - I enjoy listening to Spanish music and podcasts right now. The music is more of an entertaining/enjoyable fork of audio input, and the podcasts help me get a feel for speaking and pronunciation and I choose podcasts that speak on topics of interest tk help with vocabulary in those areas I'd like to be able to speak about.

Textbooks - I have 2 PDF textbooks, Gramatica de Uso del Español: A1-B2 and Gramatica de Uso del Español: B1-B2. I've heard these are great for learning Spanish (and they're both only written in Spanish, like there's no English in them) and plan on using them once I figure out how to take good and useful textbook notes! I definitely need to improve on my grammar.

Those are all my current Spanish resources! I'd definitely say my current level is like a high A1 right now, nearing A2, but I have just a little bit of work to do before I get there. These resources are definitely gonna help, tho!

[remember-digimon]

Next up is my favorite, Matt!

Wow what a cool guy.

So, Matt is usually described as a loner, Tai's rival, and the Angsty Cool Guy. None of these actually describe who he is, so let's dive into that.

1. Loner. Matt isn't a loner, he's lonely. Big difference. He keeps others at a very long arm's length as a self-preservation mechanism; due to his parents' divorce basically breaking his little heart at a really young age. He learned then that other people could hurt him by leaving, and decided from then on he wouldn't give them the opportunity to hurt him. His loneliness is so deeply rooted that it's interpreted by others as aloofness, while he is only 11 years old. Like damn wtf

2. Tai's rival. Outside of the Cherrymon incident, which was just good ol' manipulation to get the two most powerful Digimon in the group to fight, Matt was really only considered Tai's rival in early promotional stuff that had a little bio for each character. Matt likely gets interpreted as Tai's rival because they fight a lot, but it's not that simple. Matt doesn't want to compete with Tai, he doesn't want to be the leader. He butts heads with Tai because they're basically opposites. Matt is acutely aware of the group's feelings and needs, while Tai remains laser-focused on the goal at hand. This dynamic isn't like Ash vs Gary, where they're actively competing with each other. Matt gets frustrated with Tai very easily, and he feels things so intensely that he can't really help but blow up.

3. Cool Guy. Let's get one thing straight, this kid right here is not cool. This was more of a thing in the dub iirc, but regardless, his attitude is just a cover to keep people from getting too close. Hell, it takes Gabumon a few episodes longer than the other Digimon to really get close to Matt; before that point, Matt certainly isn't a total dick to Gabumon, but he isn't fully trusting yet either.

Matt's relationship with TK is an interesting one. He feels like it's his sole purpose to protect TK, not just from monsters but from anything unpleasant in life. All of the familial love and affection he gets comes from TK so it's understandable why he would feel this way.

One complaint I often hear about Matt is that his breakdown in the Dark Masters arc when TK gets kidnapped by Puppetmon is way overblown, that he wouldn't normally react that way. He left TK at the amusement park during Weregarurumon's Diner, and when he couldn't immediately leave he didn't break down like that.

The difference in these situations is obvious if you pay close attention. First of all, from the time the kids get up on the day Bakemon raid Odaiba to when they're back at the digital world and split up after talking to Homeostasis, is all one day. It feels much longer because of how many episodes that is, but they're all on at least 24 hours without sleep or taking a break. Also, keep in mind that Matt woke up earlier than the others, before sunrise, as his dad got him and Gabumon to the warehouse to keep them from getting abducted by the Bakemon.

Second, in that span of time the kids have all realized what they're up against. They've lost Wizardmon, Chuumon, Piximon, and Whamon in quick succession, the last three to the Dark Masters. Learning that his little brother has now been captured by one of these Dark Masters would lead Matt to fearing the worst.

Then there's the big fight he had with Tai just prior to the breakdown. He accused Tai of being obsessed with fighting and ignoring the others' grief at the loss of their Digimon friends. By the time he and TK are in the tree with their Digimon, he's already showing signs of wanting to break away from the group, saying that they don't need the others.

Matt also feels that his growth is stagnant compared to the others; this is untrue, as Gabumon would not be able to digivolve to higher levels if Matt wasn't growing and changing. But his self-image is so damaged that he always sees the negative aspects of his personality when comparing himself to his peers.

And of course we have to talk about the Dark Cave. Because of how the Digital World operates, Matt's depression materializes and manifests as a cave that he can't escape until he comes to terms with it. Obviously this quick recovery from a depression spiral is not based in reality, but this is an episodic kid's show so I'm surprised we even got this much.

Matt's experience in the cave is one that a lot of people who have dealt with depression and loneliness can relate to. He says he wants to be alone, but Gabumon calls him out on that and makes him realize that isn't what he wants, actually. He wants to be more open with people, he's just under the impression that he's not really important, not wanted, so it's better off to just not even try. His relationship with his mother is highly strained because of the divorce, and because he has an overwhelming sense of loyalty he probably feels he has to be cold to her for his father's sake.

As for his father, Hiroaki is at work more often than not. Every time we see Hiroaki and Matt interact, Hiroaki is either brisk and business-like or even annoyed; when Matt meets up with him at the TV station, Hiroaki is angry that he didn't stay hidden. Obviously this is out of concern for his son, but still. A moment later, when TK shows up, suddenly Hiroaki is much softer in speaking. So I imagine that this dynamic would also have an impact on Matt's mental health; his dad is almost always at work, and when we do see him with his dad, Hiroaki is a bit tough with him.

But it isn't all sad times and angst with Matt. He loves music, later forming a popular band in middle school and high school. Once he realizes that he can open up to people, and they won't intentionally hurt him, he's able to create real, lasting relationships that aren't based on the cold exterior he uses to protect himself. It's clear that he needed to learn to let others in, and once he did learn that, he becomes much happier and more willing to open up and let those walls down. Even if it's just a little bit.

[otomehonyaku]

Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Stellaworth Tokuten Short Stories スペシャル特典小冊子 ☽ Yuma ver.

This short story booklet was part of the Stellaworth set for Lost Eden! Keep reading below the cut for Yuma's version. Kou's and Azusa's are coming soon!

S ☽ [Ayato’s version by @kyouxa] [Laito’s version by @kyouxa] [Shuu’s version] [Reiji’s version] [Kanato’s version] [Subaru’s version]

M ☽ [Ruki’s version] [Yuma's version] [Kou’s version] [Azusa’s version]

TK ☽ [Carla’s version] [Shin’s version] [Kino’s version]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As always, special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the scans ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I wanted to atone for my sins, that bastard–Shuu had said. 

At the time, I thought he was fucking with me, but when I thought about it, I realised I might actually be trying to do the same..

☽

“Fuck… Where’d that pipsqueak go?” I barged through the streets in a quiet Eden. 

Eden is about as big as it looks. It’s got plenty of hiding places, which I knew from the time I spent here growing up. That meant that trying to find someone here was next to impossible.

To make matters worse, the person I was looking for was about as tiny as a sprout. 

“Yuma?”

When I turned the corner, the person I saw unfortunately wasn’t the kid I was looking for… or so I thought. There he was, staring up at me in amazement from my girl’s arms.

“Huh, so he was with you…”

I sighed heavily. He seemed to be sleeping pretty soundly, too, completely oblivious to my relief. 

As soon as the kid became able to move on his own, he disappeared as soon as you took your eyes off him. It’s not like the pipsqueak could actually run around and get very far, but his unpredictable movements made me anxious to lose sight of him.

“Jeez… I thought he’d be a bit more well-behaved.”

Unlike that pain-in-the-ass, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut.

“Don’t you think he’s starting to resemble you, Yuma?”

“What? You don’t know that. He can’t even talk yet.”

“I know, but… When I see you two side by side, you do kind of look alike. Maybe because you spend so much time together.”

I fell silent. She looked me in the eye, a kind smile on her face. She probably saw right through my behaviour, too.

The reason why I needed to protect this… this kid… was it really because I wanted to atone for my sins? I suddenly pondered that question. Boss was killed under my watch–twice–and then Shuu went and died on me too. Those sins of mine might’ve been weighing on me more than I’d initially thought.

Still, even if I make amends, that bastard is no longer around to see it. And it’s not just him. I lost everything dear to me many times over, and even the most important things to me now I can count on one hand.

And that’s when this little creature came into my life. 

I had to protect him. I couldn’t just let him die like I had let the others die. At least, that’s what I thought–that I wanted to repent. But at the same time, I was also kinda hesitant to attribute that sentiment to something else.

She didn’t beat around the bush, though–she told me it was love.

“Ah, did we wake you?”

The kid, who’d been cooped up in her arms, slowly stirred awake. He opened his eyes, still a bit sleepy, and looked in my direction as he yawned unabashedly. A big, carefree yawn. The fact that his languid expression reminded me of a certain someone irritated me, but I felt myself relax a little, too.

“Not a single thought going on in that lil’ head, huh? Just like that NEET.”

She laughed.

“C’mere. I’ll hold him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, ‘n gimme your hand, too.”

I grabbed her small hand in mine while I held the baby in the other. These were the two people I wanted to protect most of all. Their warmth proved that they were alive and well, and when they were near me, my mind went in all sorts of foolish directions.

Even if this was my atonement, I strongly felt that I never, ever wanted to lose these two. And that was enough for me. It wasn’t really in my nature to worry about these kinds of things, after all.

Having put my doubts behind me, I felt myself getting tired, too. I couldn’t hold back a yawn. 

“Ah, look at him.”

The kid stared up at us as he yawned in the exact same way, earning a chuckle from my girl.

[multi-fandom-things730]

Brothers, Boyfriends, and Betrayal

Summary: Jack Perry’s sister starts traveling with him, and gets very close with Hook. With the Forbidden Doors pay-per-view coming up, what could go wrong?

Warnings: Angst, cussing, violence, blood, fights, a whole lot of family drama, more angst, fluff, lil bit of spice

A/N: Writers block kicked my ass while trying to write this, but I finally got it done🥳 There will be a part 2 to this imagine as well🤍 As always, a super special thanks to my bestie @99hook 💛✨ I wouldn’t be here posting my fics if it wasn’t for you bestie, I love you so much!!!!!!!🥰🤍🤍 I hope all of you enjoy this story, I love you all so much and I appreciate you all for reading🧡🧡

"Are you excited for tonight?" Y/N asks her brother with a grin.

Jack smiles back at his little sister and nods. "You know I am! And I'm excited you get to be here"

Jack always enjoyed it when his sister was able to come to watch him wrestle, and with her in college, it had made it even less often. But she had just graduated.

Jack offered for her to travel with him, and she immediately accepted. She had loved wrestling ever since she was a kid, just like Jack. But she never wanted to be a wrestler, she wanted to be an interviewer. So being around the business she hoped to work in made her so excited.

"I gotta go talk to TK real quick. Would you be okay to wait for me here? If not, you can come with if you'd like" Jack offers.

Y/N smiles up at him. "I'm okay to wait here"

Jack nods and walks off.

Y/N leans against the wall next to Jack's dressing room and sighs. She could go in, but that'd be boring. Here she could look around and take everything in.

"Hey, is Jack here?"

Y/N jumps at a sudden voice behind her. She turns and is met with the very handsome man that she knows as Hook. "No, he's not. He should be back soon though. He's just talking to TK"

Hook nods and leans against the wall next to her.

They stand in silence for a few minutes, with Y/N nervously rocking back and forth on her heels.

"You're Y/N, right? His sister?" Hook asks.

She looks over at him again and nods. "Yeah, that's me"

Hook nods. "He talks about you a lot"

This makes Y/N smile. "That's sweet. Good things I hope"

Hook smirks, choosing to tease her. "Mostly"

She raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Hook lets out a chuckle. "I'm just messing with you"

"Hmm" Y/N hums. "I don't believe you"

"Anyways" Hook decides to change the subject. "You're in college, right?"

Y/N shakes her head. "Just graduated actually"

"Congrats" Hook replies, a rare smile on his handsome face. “What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna work here actually. As an interviewer or something like that" Y/N answers.

"You'd be good at that" Hook smiles. "And I wouldn't mind seeing your pretty face around here more"

Y/N's face turns pink, making Hook's smile grow.

But before either of them can say anything else Jack walks back over.

Hook was only half listening to what Jack was saying, as most of his attention was being directed towards his sister.

Hook knew it wasn't right, but hey, he just thought she was pretty. Well, not pretty. More like gorgeous-

He blinks rapidly as he tries to zone back into the conversation and turn off his wandering thoughts.

It had been a month since Y/N started traveling with Jack, and it was the best month of her life. She had so many new friends, and she got to spend so much more time with her brother.

And Hook was there.

Hook always made sure to at least say hello every night, but more often than not they ended up talking for as long as they could before one of them was pulled away to do something.

A couple of nights Hook had offered to drive her home when Jack needed to head back to the hotel early, and one of those nights they ended up falling asleep in the car park after just sitting and talking for hours.

Jack wasn't very happy the next morning, so Hook and Y/N made up a lie about the car breaking down and them not wanting to wake him up.

It wasn't like they were doing anything wrong; they were just talking.

Until they weren't.

“Hey Ty!" Y/N smiles, eager to congratulate him for the match he just won. But she frowns when he brushes past her and stomps down the halls.

"Tyler?" She asks softly, quickly rushing to follow him.

"Just leave me alone right now Y/N" Hook huffs, walking faster as he hears her heels catching up with him.

"No! I'm not gonna leave you alone while you're upset Tyler" she insists, struggling to keep up with him.

She cusses herself out in her head for choosing tonight to try and break in these new heels.

She lets out a little yelp when she loses her footing and twists her ankle.

Hook immediately stops and turns around, seeing her leaned against the wall with one foot lifted.

He sighs, before walking over to her. "You gotta be more careful Y/N"

She smiles as Hook picks her up bridal style. "Well, if I had known I'd need to chase you down the hallways tonight I wouldn't have worn these shoes. Next time give me a heads up"

Hook can't help but chuckle as he sits her down on an empty crate in an empty room.

"Why are we in a creepy room?" Y/N asks as Hook looks at her ankle.

"Because me and your brother both have people who don't like us running around here" Hook answers.

He lightly turns her ankle, which makes her wince. "Sorry"

"It's okay" she answers, and reaches to start playing with his hair.

Hook smiles and leans into her touch, before standing back up to be at eye level with her.

He places his hands on the crate on either side of her legs. "I think you just twisted it. I could wrap it for you if you want, just in case. And maybe try not wearing heels"

"Sure" she answers simply, her pulse-raising at the position she and Hook are in.

Hook seems to finally realize it too, and he feels his heart rate rise as well.

He goes to pull back, but Y/N places her hands on his so he can't.

"Y/N, this isn't a good idea" he says softly.

Y/N frowns, but nods and lets him go. "You're right. I'm sorry"

But her eyes widen when his hands move to hold her waist.

"I said it wasn't a good idea. That doesn't mean I don't like the idea" he smirks, and Y/N smiles back.

"I just want to be sure you want this. Want me" Hook clarifies.

Y/N's smile just grows, and she wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her. "Of course I want you, Tyler. More than anything"

And with that, their lips meet in a sweet kiss.

They pull away after a few seconds, and Hook moves his hands down to grip her hips as Y/N runs her fingers up and down his arms.

She wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him closer to her.

She kisses him again, and when she pulls away she bites softly on his bottom lip, pulling on it before letting go.

Hook smirks at her and lets his kisses trail down her neck.

"Wanna tell me what made you so mad?" Y/N asks.

"I don't really wanna think about anything but this gorgeous girl in front of me" Hook answers.

Y/N smirks, and uses her finger to lift his chin so he's looking at her. "Well this gorgeous girl is gonna have to implement a no-touching policy until you tell her"

Hook's eyes widen, and a pout forms on his lips.

Y/N simply leans up and pecks his pouty lip. "Starting in 10, 9,"

"Fine" Hook relents. "It's just, earlier tonight the guy I fought and his friend were talking about you and I overheard. They were saying all these things about you, and about how they were gonna see who could get into your pants first and stuff like that"

"Hmm" Y/N hums. "I guess you win that bet then"

Hook laughs. "I'm trying to be serious Y/N. It pissed me off"

Y/N smiles and begins trailing kisses down his neck. "Well, thank you for telling me. Now, how about a reward?"

Y/N had begun to help out backstage, and in that time had impressed Tony Khan.

He liked and respected her work ethic; she wasn't even employed, she was just a guest, but she was running around with the backstage crew helping at any chance she got.

So Tony ran the idea for her to start appearing on TV by them after Jack told him what she hoped to do. He said it'd be kind of like a trial run, and Y/N couldn't be more excited to do so.

And she couldn't have been more thankful it happened when it did; because as they walked out of Tony's office they saw LFI coming out during Hook's segment on a monitor.

"Y/N!" Jack exclaims as she takes off towards the guerrilla.

But she doesn't listen, and she runs out as the sound crew scrambles to play Jack's music.

"Oh! That's Jack Perry's sister!" Taz exclaims as Y/N takes off down the ramp.

She jumps into the ring as Preston and Dralístico jump out to confront Jack, who ran out behind her with a chair in his hands.

"Ty?" She says softly, kneeling next to him.

He pulls himself up to his feet, as Y/N tries to help him.

"I'm fine baby" he says, before placing his hands on her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes. "You should have never come out here. It's dangerous. They could have attacked you"

"I don't care about that! I care about you!" She exclaims over the crowd's cheers, and Hook would never admit it, but he felt a warmth in his chest at that.

But they're pulled out of their moment when José rolls into the ring to get away from Jack.

Hook gently pushes Y/N into the corner before staring José down.

José goes to punch Hook, but Hook grabs him and hits him with a T-Bone.

Y/N cheers as Jack slides into the ring and rushes over to her. "Y/N! You can't do that! You gotta be careful, okay?"

"I'm sorry I scared you" Y/N says. "But Hook's my friend! And yours!"

"I know that. I was planning on coming out here as soon as we saw it on the monitor. But you're not a wrestler" Jack retorts.

"Hey, it all worked out" Hook says, trying to stop them from arguing.

Jack takes a deep breath before he nods and the two men fist bump, making the crowd pop.

Hook glances over at Y/N and flashes her a smirk, and she sends him back a wink.

Y/N coming out to defend him had gotten Hook a little more than worked up, and he just hoped it wasn't too obvious to the people watching.

The next week on Dynamite Hook and Jack were fighting Vance and Dralístico in a Texas tornado match.

They were all currently in Hook’s dressing room finishing up a strategy talk.

"Listen Y/N, if you're gonna come out with us you cannot interfere" Jack says sternly.

"I understand" Y/N says softly, but Hook, who was sitting on the couch behind them can't help but smirk at Y/N's crossed fingers that she was hiding behind her back.

Jack nods. "Okay, I'm gonna head to my dressing room and get ready. Meet me at the guerrilla?"

Hook nods, and Jack leaves.

Hook stands up, and Y/N smirks when he wraps his hand around her crossed fingers. His other arm snakes around her waist and he pulls her flush against his chest.

He leans down and breathes into her ear. "You wanna talk about this?"

"What about it?" Y/N asks with fake innocence.

"You don't need to get involved" Hook replies.

"I'm not promising anything" Y/N says stubbornly.

He turns her around to face him and leans his forehead against hers. "I need you to be safe mamas. I can't focus if I need to worry about protecting you"

Y/N lets out a sigh as his hands hold onto her hips, and she doesn't miss the way they nervously grip onto her. "I promise not to get involved unless one of you is about to get hurt very badly. How's that?"

Hook huffs. "I'm not happy about it. But I know it's probably the best I'm gonna get so I'll take it"

Y/N smiles and wraps her arms around his neck before pulling him down into a kiss.

Y/N had been standing at ringside the whole time, and she felt like her heart was going to explode from how fast it was racing.

Hook was covered in blood, but at the same time he still looked so damn good. She had to stop her mind from wandering to places it had no business going to at the current moment.

But as Vance wrapped a chain around Hook's neck, the only thing she could think about was how much pain Hook must be in.

She ran around the ring to grab a steel chair, and ignored her brother yelling at her as she rolled into the ring.

She ran over and slammed Vance as hard as she possibly could in the head with the chair before he could throw Hook off the apron and into a table.

This causes Vance to let Hook go as he tries to stop himself from falling, and Hook takes the opportunity to grab him and T-Bone him off the apron and through the table.

Y/N lets out a yell as she watches, and goes to jump down to him when she feels a hand grab her arm.

She whips around and is met with Dralístico screaming in her face.

But Jack runs up behind him and yanks him away from Y/N.

Jack DDTs Dralístico onto a chair and covers him, but José runs over and kicks Jack in the head to break up the pin.

Y/N kneels next to Jack, who's holding onto his head.

She looks up at José with a glare when he throws his shirt at her and Jack.

Jack pushes her behind him as he gets to his feet and glares at José with a chair tight in his hand.

But a smirk grows across Y/N's face when Hook climbs back in the ring and sneaks up behind José.

Hook locks José in the redrum as Dralístico rolls back in the ring and charges at Jack.

Jack trips him and jumps onto his back, locking him in the snare trap.

Dralístico reaches for the chair Jack dropped, but Y/N runs over and kicks it away from him. So with nowhere left to go, Dralístico frantically taps.

Y/N cheers, and when Jack stands back up she pulls him into a hug.

Hook walks over and pats Jack on the shoulder.

Y/N pulls away and scans both of them. "Are you guys okay?!"

"We're fine, don't worry" Jack answers, and Y/N swats at his arm when he ruffles her hair.

The referee comes over, and Y/N backs away as he holds Jack and Hook's hands up in celebration.

Hook peers over at Y/N, wanting nothing more than to grab her and kiss her.

Y/N just waves at him with a smirk, knowing exactly what he's thinking.

Y/N and Hook probably should have known it simply wasn't possible to keep their relationship a secret from Jack forever.

But they never thought it'd play out the way it did.

It was the night of the Forbidden Doors pay-per-view, and Jack was hyped for his fight.

Y/N had hopped in the shower quickly while Jack was getting ready.

But while she was in the shower her phone went off.

Jack picked it up and was on his way to let Y/N know she'd gotten a text when the name of the sender caught his attention. It was Hook.

But what really caught his attention was the phrase 'I love you' that was included.

Hey babygirl, I know you're busy getting ready right now. I just wanted to say I love you, and I can't wait to go out tonight after the show❤️

Jack's eyes couldn't have gotten anymore wide, but when he heard the shower turn off he simply put the phone back where it was and sat down on the couch.

Y/N walked out minutes later in her new black dress and freshly blow-dried hair. "What do you think?"

Jack smiles. "You look nice sis"

"Thanks" she grins, before sitting down at the desk table to do her makeup.

Jack has to hold in a scoff when her smile widens as she looks at her phone.

"Come on Jack!" Y/N tries to rally Jack from ringside.

She didn't know what was going on with Jack tonight, he seemed so distracted.

Hook stood next to her, wondering the same thing. He leaned down to speak in her ear, so she'd be able to hear him over the crowd. "What's going on with him?"

"I don't know" she answers, but when she looks back up Jack is looking at them instead of Sanada, who took this opportunity to attack him.

"NO!" Y/N screamed, but it was too late, and Jack was pinned.

Y/N sighs, and Hook helps her onto the apron before jumping up himself.

He puts his foot on the rope so it's easier for her to get in, and the two of them walk over to Jack.

Jack doesn't say anything as Y/N kneels down to pull him into a hug. "I'm sorry Jack. But it's okay! You'll kick his ass next time!"

Jack hugs her back. "Thanks sis..."

Y/N and Hook help him up, and they make their way back up the ramp.

But Y/N doesn't even realize what's happening before Jack has attacked Hook.

Y/N lets out a surprised yell when Hook hits the ground. "Tyler!"

But Jack lightly pushes her back, before leaning down to yell at Hook. "You think it's okay to sneak around with my sister?!"

Y/N's eyes widen. "J-Jack! It's not like that! Please! Don't do this! Just let me explain!"

"No Y/N! He's supposed to be my best friend but he's been sneaking around with you for who knows how long!" Jack yells.

"We're not just sneaking around! We're together! I love him! Come on Jack. Please, this isn't how to handle this. We hurt you by not telling you. I understand that, and I'm so sorry. But this is exactly why we didn't! We were afraid of how you'd react!"

Jack just huffs and goes stomping towards the tunnels.

"Jack!" Y/N exclaims, chasing after him.

"Are you coming with me or not?" Jack's tone is much calmer as he stares at Y/N expectingly.

"I- Jack, you hurt him! I can't just leave him! I love him! I- I love you both!" Y/N exclaims exasperatedly.

"Fine then" Jack snaps, turning to leave.

"No! Please Jack!" Jack yanks his arm out of her grip as she cries. "Jack!"

Y/N cries harder as she watches him stomp away.

Y/N is snapped out of her head when Taz runs by her to get to Hook.

Y/N whips around and sees Taz helping Hook up, who is trying to get to her.

She rushes over and takes Hook's outstretched hand. "I'm here Tyler. I'm here"

Hook pulls away from his dad and pulls Y/N into a tight hug.

Y/N hugs him around his torso as he holds her head against his chest.

"You need to get checked out by the medics Ty" Y/N says.

"I love you" Hook whispers into her ear.

Y/N smiles and nuzzles into him more. "I love you too"

"Let's move this love fest to the medic's office you two" Taz smiles.

Y/N pulls back from Hook and smiles up at him. "I couldn't agree more"

"I'm fine" Hook insists. "I just wanna head back to the hotel"

"He hit you in the throat and you fell back on your head" Taz argues.

Y/N pouts when she can tell Hook isn't budging. "Please honey? Then we can go back to the hotel together"

Hook stares into her eyes for a moment before reluctantly nodding with a sigh, and they all walk out together as the crowd cheers for them.

They head straight back to the trainer's room, and Taz and Y/N sit down in chairs as Hook gets checked out.

Y/N's knee can't stop bouncing, and she's biting her nails as her thoughts won't stop racing.

"Are you ok hon?" Taz asks after a few seconds of silence.

"Y-Yeah" Y/N brushes off his concern. "I'm fine"

Taz just raises an eyebrow at her, and she shrinks under his gaze. "I just... I feel like this is all my fault.."

"Get that thought outta your head. Jack did what he did because he wanted to" Taz comforts, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I guess so" she mumbles.

Taz frowns at the downhearted look on her face and leans over to pull her into a side hug.

She leans against his side, doing her best to not start crying.

Then Hook walks over. “They said I’m fine. Wanna head back to the hotel baby?”

Y/N nods as she and Taz stand up.

Taz hugs Y/N, and pats Hook on the shoulder. “Everything’s gonna be okay you two. It’ll work out once Jack calms down”

That never happened.

Here they were a week later and Y/N nor Hook had heard a word from Jack.

Which was why Y/N was curled up against Hook’s side, trying not to cry again.

“It’s okay mamas” he breathes into her ear, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “He’ll come around eventually”

“I’ve never gone this long without talking to him” Y/N sniffles.

“I’m sorry” Hook replies, and leans down to kiss her head.

“It’s not your fault. I should have just told him” Y/N wipes her eyes.

“We should have told him. It’s not all on you Y/N” Hook corrects, making her smile up at him.

Then her phone dings, and she pulls away to pick it up.

Hey Y/N. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to you at all for so long. Could we meet up somewhere for lunch?

“He texted me!” Y/N grins. “He wants to meet for lunch”

Hook grins back, relieved that Y/N was so happy. “That’s great mamas” he says before pecking her lips.

She hops up off the couch and runs to get ready, and Hook just watches her with an adoring smile.

Lunch was awkward, to say the least.

The two siblings just sat and stared at the ground for a little while, before Jack decided to speak up. “So, how long have you and Hook been together?”

“We got together about a month after I started traveling with you” Y/N answers honestly.

Jack just nods, tapping his fingers on the table.

“I know you’re mad, and I understand that. But we didn’t mean to hurt you. We love each other Jack” Y/N says.

“If that’s all true why’d you keep it from me?” Jacks asks.

“Because we were scared of how you’d react” Y/N quickly retorts. “And clearly we weren’t wrong to worry”

Jack huffs and rolls his eyes before standing up. “I gotta go to the bathroom”

Y/N watches him walk away with an annoyed expression.

This whole situation wasn’t adding up for her. She had done plenty of stuff that Jack didn’t like, and he’d never acted like this. And the way her explaining everything to him didn’t even make him budge was unlike him.

Which is what prompted her to pick up his phone that he left on the table and open it.

She scrolled through his contacts and stopped on the contact of his best friend. Y/N knew Jack told him everything.

She looks through their messages, and she can feel her blood boiling at what she reads.

It’s the perfect cover dude. I was always gonna betray Hook at Forbidden Door, but I just happened to see a text he sent Y/N that night. Now the fans will feel bad for me, and they won’t turn on me.

She quickly takes a screenshot and sends it to herself before a voice snaps her out of her head. “Why are you on my phone?”

Y/N abruptly stands up and turns to face him with a furious glare. “Because I’m related to you, so I must have at least a little sneak in me”

She shoves the phone into his chest. “You’re a no good, lying bastard! You tried to use me so the fans wouldn’t hate you for what you did?!”

“S-Sis…” Jack stumbles over his words.

Y/N feels her skin burning in anger. “Fuck you”

She whips around and storms out of the restaurant in a huff, as Jack follows behind her.

“You don’t wanna talk to me?! Fine! Maybe you’ll wanna talk to me after I take that championship from your pathetic fuck budd-“

Y/N cuts him off by whipping around and slapping him as hard as she can in the face.

He stumbles away from her with wide eyes as she rips her bracelet off her wrist.

She and Jack had gotten matching bracelets on vacation when they were little, and neither one of them had ever taken them off.

So for a moment, Jack regretted his whole crazy scheme as he watched her throw it on the ground and turn away from him with tears in her eyes.

He kneeled down and picked the bracelet up, and let out a sad chuckle at the silly little turtle charm. He quickly wipes his eyes before standing back up with it tight in his grip.

Meanwhile, Y/N had taken off as fast as she could down the street and towards the hotel.

She was doing her best not to cry as she walked through the lobby and got on the elevator.

She rushed out once it got to her floor, and practically sprinted down the hall towards her room.

Towards Hook.

She knocked on the door, and as soon as it opened she threw herself into his arms.

Hook immediately wraps his arms around her and guides her to sit down on the bed. “What happened babygirl?”

“He’s a liar!” She cries, burying her head in his chest. “He was always going to do that to you! It was just a coincidence that he found out about us that night! And he decided to use it as a c-cover so the fans wouldn’t turn on him”

Hook doesn’t say anything, but Y/N can feel the way his body tenses and his grip on her tightens.

Y/N looks up at him, and his face is stone cold.

She pulls away and leans her forehead against his. “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry he did this”

He places his hands on her waist and pulls her onto his lap. “Don’t apologize. None of this was your fault mamas”

“What are you gonna do? He.. he said he was going to take the title from you” Y/N mumbles nervously.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that” Hook replies, kissing her on the temple. “I’ll deal with him. I’ll deal with him really fucking soon”

"Let me come out there with you"

"Absolutely not" Hook says sternly, not looking away from the monitor.

It was the first dynamite after Forbidden Door, and Jack was currently out in the ring talking about everything that happened.

Hook was standing up, staring into the screen, and Y/N was convinced Jack must feel it through the screen from the intensity of Hook's glare.

On the contrary, Y/N didn't even want to look at the screen. Nor did she want to hear his voice, but that was kind of impossible with Hook listening to each cruel word intently.

Y/N and Jack had gotten into a fight on twitter a few days prior. Jack had tried to message Y/N, but she blocked his phone number. So Jack took to twitter to whine, and Y/N replied with a long and angry tweet exposing every one of Jack's lies.

So with the truth out, it seemed Jack fully succumbed to a new heel persona that Y/N couldn't even recognize.

Her own brother was standing in the ring, saying terrible things about the man she loved. She couldn't understand how they'd gotten to this point.

They used to be best friends, an inseparable pair. You could never find one without the other. But now they didn't even want to be in the same building.

But they had to be for work.

"Tyler, I don't want you going out there alone" Y/N insists, walking over to wrap her arms around him from behind.

Hook places his hands on her's, and leans back into her embrace. "I can't focus if I'm worried about you getting hurt mamas"

Y/N felt her heart crack a little at the familiar words. Hook was referring to Jack like he was some unpredictable enemy. But sadly, at this point: he was. "He wouldn't hurt me"

Hook looks down at her hands that are gripping onto him, and lets out a breath. "I don't know that anymore"

Y/N just leans her head down against his back in defeat, and tears gather in her eyes "He wouldn't..."

Hook turns to face her, and holds her tight. "I'll handle him, don't worry"

Y/N takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself before pulling away from him. "You should head out there"

"Are you gonna be okay?" Hook asks, placing his hand against her cheek and wiping away a tear.

She nods and flashes him a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

Hook places a lingering kiss on her head, before looking down to gaze into her eyes. "I'll be back before you know it"

With that, he leaves one last kiss on her lips and leaves the room.

Y/N watches as he leaves, before sitting down on the couch. She stares at the screen, waiting for Hook to storm out.

She sniffles as she stares at Jack, and does her best to stop the tears from falling as she listens to his words.

She just hoped this would all be over soon.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

Y/N turns from watching Hook warming up to weakly smile at Taz.

It was finally the day: the day Hook defended the FTW title against Jack.

She could feel her stomach twisting into knots at the very thought, but she had to just push those feelings down.

It was happening in less than half an hour, and she had to be ready.

“I’m all good Taz” she smiles.

But Taz just raises an eyebrow at her and crosses his arms. He had been able to duck off the commentary table during a commercial break, and he didn’t have time for her deflections. “I know you’re not hon”

She just stares at him for a few seconds. “I have to be. This isn’t about me or my feelings”

“Supporting Tyler doesn’t mean that you can’t be sad about this. If you were actually fine right now I’d think you were a robot” Taz replies. “All I’m saying is, be easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for still caring about Jack”

And with that he turns to Hook, and they start talking as Taz’s words circle in Y/N’s mind.

She didn’t even notice when Taz walked away, and was only brought out of her head when Hook slipped his arms around her waist. “Remember what I said mamas. I can’t focus and be worried about you. Please let me handle him”

“I will” Y/N whispered back, but with her fingers crossed at her side.

It took all of the willpower Y/N had to not run over when Jack had Hook set up for a draping DDT, and when he hit it she couldn’t stop the small cry from escaping her lips as she watched Hook’s head hit the ground.

Y/N immediately ran over to Hook as Jack rolled into the ring in hopes of a count-out victory.

“Baby, are you ok?” Y/N has to do her best from hopping in the ring and attacking Jack when the only answer she gets from Hook is a moan of pain.

She places her hands on his back and gently rubs up and down in an attempt to pull him back to his senses, as the numbers yelled by the ref ring in the couple’s ears.

“Help me up” Hook breathes out, struggling to pull himself up.

“Tyler” Y/N mumbles, hesitation clear in her tone. She was clearly worried about him continuing with his injuries.

“I’m not letting him win” Hook fumes. “Help me Y/N, please”

Her eyes flicker from him to the ref, and as he calls seven Y/N wraps her arms around Hook and hauls him to his feet.

She pushes him into the ring right before the ref got to ten, much to Jack’s chagrin.

Y/N watches with scared eyes as Jack starts tauntingly kicking Hook in the face.

Y/N can see the fury in Hook’s eyes, and she lets out a little smile when he gets to his feet and swings at Jack.

Jack avoids it and tries to grab Hook for a suplex, but Hook elbows him and breaks out of his grasp.

But Jack grabs him again and hits Hook with a German suplex.

He looks over to his sister with a smirk, which quickly changes to confusion when he sees the smirk on her face.

Hook had gotten right back on his feet, and Y/N couldn’t be prouder of him.

Jack whips around and tries to hit Hook, but Hook dodges him.

Jack tries to kick Hook next, but Hook catches him and turns him around before grabbing him around the waist.

Y/N cheers as Hook hits him with a northern lights suplex.

Jack kicks out right before the three count, but Hook maintains the waistlock.

He pulls Jack up and hits him with another northern lights suplex. But once again, Jack kicks out.

Y/N just cheers as she realizes Hook still has the waistlock on Jack, and she can’t stop herself from grinning when Hook starts another suplex.

But her grin drops when Jack grabs onto the ref, and while he’s distracted kicks Hook with a low blow.

Y/N can barely watch as Hook tries to pull himself up, and Jack runs and bounces off the ropes before hitting Hook with an elbow strike in the back of the head.

Jack rolls Hook over for the cover, and Y/N can tell that Hook is dazed.

“KICK OUT BABY!” Y/N screams. It’s like her voice breaks the daze he was in, as he immediately kicks out upon hearing her.

She lets out a relieved breath, and avoids eye contact with Jack who was sending her a nasty glare.

Y/N raises an eyebrow as Jack rolls out of the ring, but her eyes widen when he grabs the FTW title.

She runs over and grabs the other end of it.

They glare at each other, and each one is trying to yank the title out of the other’s grasp.

“You know you can’t win on your own!” Y/N yells. “You’ve been cheating this whole damn time because you know you’re just not as good as him!”

Her words seem to just make Jack angrier. He finally wins their tug-of-war and jumps back in the ring before she has the opportunity to grab the belt again.

Hook catches Jack when he tries to hit him, but Jack pulls them backward and they crash into the ring post with the ref.

Y/N’s eyes widen as the ref crumbles to the ground, and she feels the anxiety building in her.

Y/N reaches into the ring and tries to shake the ref awake as Hook hits Jack with a suplex.

Hook covers Jack, but looks up when he doesn’t hear the ref hitting the mat.

He sees Y/N climbing into the ring, trying to get the ref up, and walks over to help.

The ref starts to get back to his feet with Y/N’s help, so Hook turns to face Jack.

But Y/N’s eyes widen when she realizes Jack has the belt.

She lets go of the ref and runs over to push Hook out of the way just before Jack hits him, and the belt collides with her side at full force instead.

She falls to the ground in pain, clutching her side.

Hook doesn’t care about anything in that moment except for Y/N, and he takes his eyes off of Jack to run to her.

And Jack draws his final line in the sand as he uses his sister a final time.

Instead of helping her, Jack uses her injury distracting Hook to hit him in the face with the belt.

Y/N is able to zone back in just in time to register the third hit on the mat and the bell signaling the end of the match.

She just watches with tears welling in her eyes as Jack grabs the title and stands on the ropes to show it off.

Y/N pulls herself up, trying to ignore the pain in her side to make sure Hook is okay.

But Jack hops back down and smirks at her. “What’d I tell you sis? You should know better than to be with a loser like him”

But his cocky demeanor instantly drops when she counters with four simple, but gut-wrenching and powerful words.

“You’re just like Christian.”

It came out as barely a whisper, but to Jack, it was like a gunshot ringing through his ears.

After that, Y/N didn’t even spare him a second glance as she checked on Hook.

“Baby?” She softly calls, running her hands through his hair with the hand not clutching her side.

Hook stirs after a moment, and his eyes widen as he comes back to his senses.

He quickly pulls himself up, and ignores Y/N’s insisting on him to take it easy. “Are you okay?”

She nods, but Hook doesn’t miss the way she’s holding onto her side, and the pain clear in her glassy eyes.

The two lock eye contact for a moment, before leaning against one another in an attempt at comfort.

Hook places a kiss on her head, as sadness courses through both of their veins.

This was one of the worst days of both of their lives, but at least they had each other.

Despite everything that had just happened, they wouldn’t go back and change a single thing. Because everything that had happened is what brought them together.

As long as they could lean on each other, they’d always be able to get back up.

[aitadjcrazytimes]

It's been a good run

But it's time to bring this to a close!

The saga is over, C, T and I are all together. T and I are in the swing of it, C approves as much as it is possible for him to approve of anything, everyone knows about the blog and is chill.

C is back at his rightful place of walking his sister down the aisle.

I'm getting everything I want, and we're all free to make each other miserable until the day we die.

I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore! Nobody else involved with the situation will be submitting any more AITA posts either, because they are either not on tumblr or agreed it would be annoying.

I will say that there is some stuff on here that I've alluded to that isn't necessarily 100% in the spirit of things, so I've included some stuff below the cut for the folks who have caught onto that. I would not suggest reading it if you like how all of this played out and want to keep it that way. I know that's incredibly vague, but I'm not sure how to phrase it without making it weird?

Thank you all for listening and talking to me over the past few days! That's where I'm leaving it!

...

...

...

...Is everyone who wants to keep believing in the disaster polycule gone? Yes? OK!

So, this was fake. I made up the whole thing. TK and C and T and everyone else are fictional characters. Did I lie? Yes. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Q: All of it? Even the og AITA post? The followup AITA post? The screenshots?

A: All of it.

Q: Wh... Why did you do this...?

A: Well, first this all started as a Red vs Blue fanfic for the ship Chexer (Church/Tex/Tucker)-

It started as a fanfic for Chexer. However, I was already working on a different fanfic for RVB that was totalling about 15k words at this point (+ at least 90k to go), and I knew I would never have the time or energy to write this one. I thought: yknow. this would be really funny as an aita post.

Q: It was a fanfic of a Halo fanfic series.

A: Yep!

So, I submitted Tucker's perspective. I did not expect for it to get more than maybe 100 notes at most. I totally thought someone would call it out right away.

The funny part is, if I'd dedicated all this energy to a fic instead of this blog, I'd probably have about 15-20 thousand words of fic already, but whatever, can't ruin my personal day!

Also, I wanted to see how many people would figure it out/how long it would take for it to become too obvious that this was a fandom thing. I was dropping names and RvB lore since the beginning. A few people did figure it out, and I DMed them in private to let them know.

Q: But why make the blog then?

A: Because I love to lie and be a nuisance to the general populace! <3

It was always my intent to wait until Carolina's perspective got posted (i am honestly still shocked i got away with "Carey/Georgia/West Virginia/Alabama/Miss Louisiana 1988"), let it simmer for about a day, then come clean. Which is what I'm doing now!

The reason I'm coming clean now instead of dragging it out is because I don't want anyone to feel stupid or like they got duped. You're not stupid! You were a part of this story! This was, as one anon said, a creative writing project. It was a collaboration! Thank you so much for helping me!

That said, I'm sorry to anyone that finds this disappointing! I had a blast doing this, but I will not be doing it again. I have gotten my fill. I have had my taste of being an influencer, and now I can go on with my life without ever feeling like I need to start a youtube channel.

Q: How did you keep up with a consistent timeline?

A: I didn't, especially at first. But in my time as a liar who lies about things, I have found that usually people are willing to believe you when you say "yeah, i lied about that".

Q: Wait, what about the thing with your kid?

A: Yeah, I fucked up on this one. In the other fic I was/am writing, Tucker was around 33. So, when I was saying what Junior's age was, I subtracted it from 33 and got 18. It wasn't until I was showing my partner the blog and they said "Wait, he had his kid at 13??????" that I realized I had fucked up. Oops!

Q: Was it really ALL fake?

A: For the most part. I will say that I did actually drop chocolate cake all over my tits that one time and had to shower by myself like a fucking loser. That one was true. I did also get my nails done for the first time ever, which did actually affect my typing. And I am in a band (but so is Tucker, canonically)! There are a few other things as well, but I don't want to list all of them.

Q: DID you ever read homestuck?

A: Nope. And I never will.

Even the title, though I will say that the title I came up with was "Leonard "Alpha Bitch" Church's Decidedly Not Lo-Fi Beats to Get Nasty and Get Clean To: The Movie"

Q: So there was never a combination sex/bathtime playlist?

A: Maybe! But perhaps more accurately: the combination sex/bathtime playlist was inside of you all along. You can make it. There are only three songs on there that are canon to the lore of this blog. Those are No Children by The Mountain Goats, Take It Out On Me by Thousand Foot Krutch, and one unknown song from the album Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV by Coheed and Cambria (Yep, the call was coming from inside the house, I gave Church my music taste). I had intended this to be Wake Up, but it's out of my hands now. The rest is yours to fill in.

Q: What's your main blog, so I can follow you?

A: Hi, this is aitadjcrazytimes. You're not getting that.

Q: Your AO3 handle?

A: Nope, not that either.

You will never find me. And that's the way I want it. You will see me in every blog. Every new follower. Every stranger you meet on the street. You will look into your discord kitten's eyes, and you will absently wonder if he was the one behind aitadjcrazytimes. And you will never know for certain.

Q: But-

A: Let me live on in your memory. The only person who knows both who I am and the fact that I did this is my partner, who is not into RvB or commonly on tumblr. I am not a RvB blog. I am not a writing blog. I am a nobody on the fringes of tumblr society who's been here long enough to know how to remain in the shadows.

And, even if you do manage to find me, against all odds:

No one will ever believe you.

I am closing my askbox. I am also closing my messages. If you have anything to say to Tucker or Me (tumblr user aitadjcrazytimes), you are welcome to do so in the replies or reblogs, but you will not be receiving an answer. I'll keep this blog up for anyone that wants to go through after the fact and do a deep dive or what have you.

Thanks to everyone who made this into the wild ride it was! Live long and get fucked or whatever! Xoxo <3

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Oh god help me now I’m imagining Carlos waking up in a panic and TK comforting him. Them having agreed to have the Jonah/future convo later when Carlos has recovered a little bit. TK either suggesting or supporting Carlos in going to see Gabriel first thing.

(“what do you need baby?” *crouched down in front of Carlos who’s sitting up in bed, wiping his tears away with his thumb* “I think I need to talk to my dad” “okay. We’ll go first thing in the morning okay? Right now you should try to get s couple more hours of rest baby. C’mon, I’ll rub your back”)🥺

Carlos not being able to hold it in, it’s so important that TK knows the conclusion he’s reached, so when they’re in the car going to Andrea’s house, Carlos tells TK he’s ready to take in Jonah. “I’m so happy to hear that baby. I need to do this for him but I want more than anything to do it with you. We have time though baby. Right now is about you, and telling your mom. Let’s go see her and we’ll talk more when we get home.”

Imagining TK being there for Carlos too, in the process of arranging the adoption for Jonah. Imagining Carlos breaking down left and right because everything is so raw it’s like when it had just happened. Them having time to let Carlos be in that because they can’t adopt Jonah from one day to another.

Carlos having so many feelings about becoming a dad himself that he needs to leave the room while they’re spending time with Jonah and Sofia, getting Jonah used to being in the loft. Carlos excusing himself for a moment to take a deep breath. TK taking the time to follow him to give his husband a hug before they return to spending time with Jonah.

[paperstorm]

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @bonheur-cafe @honeybee-taskforce @thisbuildinghasfeelings @strandnreyes @ironheartwriter @nisbanisba @orchidscript @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh and @nancys-braids!

“What are you so smiley about?” TK asks, tapping his finger into the dimple on Carlos’s left cheek.

“Nothing. Just a good night.” Carlos kisses TK’s nose, smiling even broader as TK raises an eyebrow at him.

“Okay,” TK says, sounding very much like he isn’t buying it but he lets it drop. He moves over, settling against Carlos’s chest.

Carlos wraps his arms around him; they rearrange briefly until they can find a comfortable spot. It doesn’t take long; they’re practiced at this by now. His body knows instinctively exactly where TK’s fits against him. For a moment, Carlos just draws his nose through TK’s soft hair, vanilla and musk and sweat filling his lungs. He inhales slowly, breathing in his smell and letting his warmth soak down through Carlos’s bones. TK’s forefinger traces an idle pattern on Carlos’s bare chest. His foot moves, toes lightly brushing against Carlos’s ankle under the blankets.

Because he didn’t ask again – didn’t push, didn’t make Carlos say anything, didn’t pester him to open up – Carlos does. He wonders if it will ever just feel easy. There are still always nagging voices, telling him that he needs to be stronger, manlier, more stoic and less needy. There are still things he doesn’t talk about, because he doesn’t know how to say them out loud and he’s so desperate for TK to love him despite all his shortcomings. But it seems to get better, degree by degree, all the time. Carlos has never felt as safe as he does with this man, and its so many miles beyond the best he could have hoped for in his wildest fantasies before he met the person cuddled in his arms.

“I’m really happy, lately,” he says softly.

“You are?” TK asks, in a voice that’s small but sounds achingly hopeful.

“Mhm.” Carlos kisses his hair. He pushes past the tiny tremor of nerves in his stomach to continue. “I never really thought I’d have … any of this. Someone like you. Friends that feel like family. People in my life who accept me.”

“I know it’s been a struggle.” TK strokes his knuckles over Carlos’s sternum, thumb finding the cross and pressing it gently into Carlos’s skin.

“It has,” Carlos agrees. “But you … you make everything okay, on days when it’s not. And on days like today that are already good, you make everything … amazing.”

TK tilts his chin up so he can press a soft, lingering kiss to Carlos’s neck.

“I just really, really love you,” Carlos whispers emotionally into his forehead, lips catching on his skin.

“I love you so much, baby,” TK murmurs in response, and Carlos believes him.

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet

@tailoredshirt @goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @chaotictarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh

@inkweedandlizards @bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms

@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @honeybee-taskforce

@fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @butchreyes @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh

@captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@ditheringmind

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[messymindofmine]

Fandoms and Marginalized Communities

Before I say anything, I want to make it known that everything I say, I am saying as Muslim WOC. I am also saying it as someone with a best friend who is the reason I got into Lone Star to begin with. This best friend is a gay, Jewish man who is also a recovering addict. One of the first things he said to me about the show was that it felt like TK Strand was written especially for him. However, my friend (who was in the fandom since the beginning) left a while back because he finally decided he was sick of feeling unsafe in the fandom. This was a feeling he had since the beginning that had gotten progressively worse.

As disappointing as it has been since s4 to see the way people turned on Carlos, I do appreciate how many people are calling it out. Even though I don't come from the same background as Carlos, I do know what it is like to come from a culture that pushes you into a heteronormative role and so I can empathize with Carlos on his reasoning for marrying Iris and then keeping it a secret even if I wish he had told TK sooner. But then of course he felt like he couldn't because when you have spent your whole life feeling like you could be rejected for revealing something about yourself, it's extremely hard to move beyond it.

That said, I do think it is important as a fandom to talk about reactions we have to characters and why we need to check our own biases. I'm not saying that people have to agree and love every single thing that Carlos does but we can and should give grace to him and consider why he is doing something. It is deeply problematic to assume that he is going to be a bad, neglectful husband the way people were prior to 5X05. Same with how people reacted towards him in s4. You can be upset about a character's decisions while also being compassionate about why they are behaving that way. To go "well they suck and are bad" and interpret every single thing they do with the worst-faith interpretation is deeply problematic when discussing a character of color.

I have been having conversations with the friend I mentioned before about all this stuff and one thing that he said to me that has stuck with me is how one big reason why he left the fandom was because he kept seeing people bring up the ableism TK has gotten since the start of the show in conversations about Carlos and racism and to him it felt deeply insulting because it felt like those people were just using ableism as a way to deflect from the conversation about Carlos and not because they actually care about the issue. Especially since so many of them are the same ones that never had anything to say about the ableism in the past and even indulged in it before s4 when they turned on Carlos. @paperstorm and I have also talked about this and how it's so frustrating that when a conversation is being had about racism, people who have never cared about ableism before will bring it up as a weapon. I do feel like it is extremely important to have conversations about ableism in the fandom because just like racism, misogyny and homophobia, it has been an issue in every fandom I have ever been a part of but bringing it up in the context of a conversation about racism towards Carlos is not the right time and only serves to diminish the seriousness of ableism as an issue. It is not a weapon to be used to deflect and silence people who are hurt by how Carlos has been treated since s4.

That said, I do want to acknowledge the frustration and hurt that I know a lot of people are feeling when it seems like conversations about Carlos are being had in a way that conversations about TK have never really been had. There are people who have talked about TK and ableism but those conversations have been on a pretty small scale. I get the hurt because I feel it too seeing big blogs talking about Carlos and racism and even unintentionally making it seem as though TK has always been favored by the fandom because he is white. I know that it can be hurtful to see people say that Carlos is only getting hate because he is no longer perfect for TK as though TK wasn't the one on the receiving end of hate since 1x02. It is important to acknowledge that Carlos was put on a pedestal right up until s4 and defense of him was done at the expense of TK. When 3x13 aired, people were outright accusing TK of cheating with Cooper and just generally hating on him because they felt he made Carlos sad by excluding him. This was actually deeply triggering for my friend because he is in recovery himself. Let me tell you, it was painful for me to see how much it hurt him seeing the way TK was called selfish and all kind of other things because it is something he has to live with on a daily basis in his own life. There have been so many times since the show first started that people have said things about how Carlos deserves better and how TK just doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him. How TK gets all the care and attention and he never does anything for Carlos. How TK gets special treatment from the fandom. All of these things and so much more. And then in s4, when these same people turned on Carlos and started using TK as a weapon, it became too much for my friend and he left the fandom. I know he is not the only one who did so for the same reason.

I just wish that people would understand that conversations about TK and Carlos can both be had and we can even talk about how bigotry towards different groups are ultimately the same in the way they are perpetuated. That is to say, it's not always they obvious ways of using slurs but in the way of microaggressions. I also think it is important when defending Carlos to not ignore the hate TK has gotten. I'm not saying we have to bring it up in detail in every conversation but simply just not making it seem like TK gets favored. There was a double standard against TK right from 1x02 and it's not fair to ignore that. Actually, even the way people weaponize TK is a big microaggression. To act like somehow he has no agency in his own marriage and that he is going to fall apart if he doesn't have Carlos' attention is a big microaggression because it leans into this idea of addicts being selfish and weak. The TK that exists in the show is the opposite of both these things and it is just as offensive to speak about him as though he is those things as it is to make Carlos out to be a terrible, neglectful husband.

Overall, we all need to be more careful about how we speak and write about characters. And even if our only intention for wanting a character to make a mistake is to maximize angst, we need to be careful about how we project our desire for angst. Wanting Carlos to mess up because the angst potential of it is exciting is still a microaggression both because it villainizes him unfairly and because it takes agency away from TK. The same applies the other way round too. Wanting TK to mess up for the sake of angst (as has happened) is also a microaggression because it villainizes him unfairly and it takes agency away from Carlos. When we talk about characters that represent marginalized communities of any kind, we need to take these things into consideration. We also need to listen to others when these issues are called out. If your response to someone pointing out something that is offensive is anger and deflection, that is on you. As someone who has been in this fandom since the beginning and has seen people leave because they feel unsafe for any reason, I don't want that to happen to anyone else. We can have fun and escape real life in fandom while also calling things out. We can also call out one issues without ignoring or minimizing others. I know it can be a hard thing to balance sometimes but the best thing for us to do when it comes to situations like this is to be open-minded and willing to learn and grow ourselves rather than lashing out at others for speaking up about something that hurts them.