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shrinkthisviolet · 4 months ago

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I would love to hear your opinion on what you think/hope will happen in the tournament!

The karate kid universe is built on a kid who trained for like 3 months beating someone who trained for years, so I don't think that can be used as a determining factor when making predictions. Otherwise, literally every American character would get beaten by new characters we've never met before, lol.

I think the show did a good job setting Sam up so that no matter the outcome, she'll be okay. She's the character who has been solidly Miyagi-Do from the beginning, so it's possible that if she doesn't win, she will embody that philosophy in some other way. Mr. Miyagi didn't like tournaments, so her finding a way to embody his teachings outside of fighting may be satisfying. But her winning could also be a way to leave a legacy of Miyagi's teachings for future students.

Tory obviously has a very compelling reason to want to win, but I think if she does, her philosophy will have to change. Someone on here pointed out that in her fight with Sam to decide the captain, she went into the bouncy cobra kai stance rather than the solid Miyagi-Do stance. Cobra kai for her has always been about externalizing her anger or sadness, stating that she uses her anger as power while fighting. If that philosophy is rewarded, then she will continue doing that for the rest of her life and have no need to change. If she wins, I think it'll be because she embraces some Miyagi-Do teachings and becomes balanced.

Miguel obviously wants to win to get into Stanford, and he could use the prize money for his family. Some people have theorized that Robby will get injured and Miguel will take over for him, which I think doesn't really serve any purpose for Miguel or Robby's character journeys. Miguel wildly succeeded in the past, it might be interesting for his character to experience a "golden child syndrome" arc, where he feels pressured by his past successes, but the resolution to that would need to be him losing and accepting it.

Robby obviously touched on the fact that he is always second place and that motivation is compelling. I also think that if Robby wins, he has to find balance within himself rather than relying on Tory or Kenny or Johnny or someone else. If he's always relying on an external source there's never going to be a conclusion for his story because there's no guarantee that whatever source he's relying on at the end of season 6 will stay around forever. If he wins, it has to be because he found strength in himself.

Some bonus thoughts: Robby and Tory's promise to stand on the podium together could be fulfilled in a twisted way, with Robby winning for Miyagi-Do and Tory winning for Cobra Kai. Whichever teens don't win the individual tournaments will probably have a big win in part 3. If there's a tie between the two dojos, whichever teens don't win the first time, could win if there's a rematch fight. If there's no rematch or second tournament in part 3, Robby and Miguel's Sekai Taikai performance might mirror Daniel fighting Silver while Johnny fights 5 people at once to do justice to both characters abilities.

I would love to hear your thoughts and if you have different opinions on what might happen or what you think should happen!

So I’m gonna evaluate the core four teens first from my POV in terms of feats, and then answer (taking narrative into consideration too, because both matter in a show like this). Under a cut for spoilers (and because it’s a bit on the long side):

Feats

Starting with Miguel: won his first All-Valley, was beating Robby in the 2x10 fight until Robby kicked him over the railing, multiple characters have commented on his fighting prowess (even more than any other character). He did lose the captaincy, but he was also emotionally fraught at the time…but also Robby has been improving, so maybe they really are on an even field now. Hard to say when they haven’t had a fight without emotions running high. Compared to Sam and Tory…he’s only really fought Tory, managing to pick her up and restrain her, and she tries unsuccessfully to escape. But once they’re on the ground, she probably could’ve gotten out of it. Hard to say

On to Robby: he has been runner-up in both tournaments. This is notable, because none of the teens have scored highly in a tournament more than once—Miguel won his first AVT but didn’t place highly in his second, Sam and Tory have both only fought in one tournament (more on them later), Eli/Hawk only won his second tournament and didn’t place highly in his first. So I feel like that should be commended. He’s accomplished something no other character has. He also beat Miguel to the captaincy fair and square…though as mentioned, this could be due to emotions running high for Miguel in particular. Hard to say…but in every fight, Robby has become more skilled, so it could be that he is truly the better fighter between them now. Hard to say for sure, but regardless, I feel people are counting him out unfairly. Although, also notable to say that between the girls, he’s only fought Sam, and that was for like…2 seconds. She restrained him, but he could’ve escaped that easily if he wanted to.

Sam: she was runner-up in her only AVT. However, those results were skewed, and it’s shown that if not for the cheating ref, she would’ve won the whole thing—she does earn three points in her fight against Tory, they’re just not counted fairly. So there’s that. There’s also the fact that she also beats Tory in 2x10* and 3x10…and the latter is while she’s still dealing with residual PTSD

*Tory cuts her arm with the bracelet, but Sam then kicks her away, therefore winning the fight

If she’s put up against Tory, I’d say she should win. Compared to Miguel and Robby though…well, she does fight Robby during the prom fight briefly and manages to subdue him, but Robby could get out of that if he tried. She’s a quicker fighter than him, but a better fighter overall…hard to say. And we also never see a proper fight between her and Miguel.

Tory: she is a fierce fighter, there’s no denying this. Won her first AVT, but that was due to Silver’s cheating, and as mentioned in Sam’s section, it’s likely Tory would’ve lost that fight if it had been fair. Tory herself even admits this:”you didn’t lose the All-Valley.” Sam also wins every fight they have (and no, 3x5 doesn’t count because Sam ran from that fight due to a trauma response)

Despite this, there’s no denying that Tory is an incredibly effective fighter—getting to even runner-up position is no easy feat, and she fights no-holds-barred and is recognized for it (you can tell by how people react when she goes in to fight them). She’s never seriously fought either of the boys—Miguel did manage to restrain her during the prom fight, and she couldn’t escape at first, but she might’ve been able to on the ground. It’s hard to say.

Narrative/Story

Taking narrative into consideration, I can see them leaning more towards a Robby and Tory win, for the reasons you mentioned—“both of us up on that podium”, Miguel already ceded the crown to Robby anyway so let’s keep that up**, and Tory should really get a win after all the bs she’s been through***

**however, I do think if they do this, they give Miguel another path to go to Stanford. Maybe the LaRussos pay for it or something, some kind of narrative “good karma” as this story often has—the whole moral of “do good and good will return to you”

***that said, I think her winning the tournament with Cobra Kai isn’t the best idea. That’s letting Kreese win, in a sense. If she does win, I want her to do it in a Miyagi-Do gi, smiling and proud with her supportive friends beside her, knowing she won the right way with people who truly care about her (ofc that means they’d have to apologize for letting her just walk away in the midst of her grief, but that’s an easy fix)

And also as mentioned, Sam doesn’t need a win narratively right now. No matter what happens, she’s set. She’s beaten Tory in a fight every time though, so flipping that now would be strange.

All that considered:

I think Robby is definitely a strong contender to win Sekai Taikai, and he’s my pick (I did think Miguel is the stronger fighter, but having evaluated all of this, I think they’re at least on an even playing field, if not skewed towards Robby).

If there are gender divisions, my girl champion pick would be Sam, but Tory is a strong narrative option (however, I’d like her to win for Miyagi-Do, not Cobra Kai, because that would complete her arc more satisfyingly imo)

#cobra kai spoilers #cobra kai s6 spoilers #sam larusso #samantha larusso #tory nichols #miguel diaz #robby keene #feel free to hop in and correct me about anything i missed btw!#i do have my favorites but i did my level best to be fair to all the characters

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musingsofabookworm1 · 4 months ago

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My Last Five Reads: July 2024

All of This Could be DIfferent by Sarah Thankum Matthews

All the potential for this book but a major disappointment. This should have been a DNF for me as soon as I saw that the dialog was done sans punctuation. It slows me down to the point of being annoying. But that aside, the book was slow. Definitely character driven which is especially problematic when as the reader, you’re not a fan of the character. Said character is Sneha who graduates and moves to Milwaukee for a job. She knows no one there but gets a college buddy a job, starts to make friends, and sends part of her paycheck back to her parents in India. There are some bigger things that happen. Nothing thrilling, though. 2 stars only because of the familiarity of the Milwaukee setting.

Tiananmen Square by Lai Wen

This one gets a lot of praise, but I felt it average. We follow the main character, Lai, in a coming-of-age epic that peaks at the demonstrations at the title venue. We meet Lai in her youth living with her parents, younger brother, and grandmother. After longing for more than what her life is giving her, she earns a scholarship and finds what she is looking for. Of course there is much more to it than this. The relationship with her grandmother, mother, and childhood friend take center stage to the plot throughout most of the book. There were definitely parts I liked that had a fast pace, but they were balanced out by slow, wordy parts making it 3 stars.

You Shouldn’t Be Here by Lauren Thoman

And continuing on with mediocre reads, this book follows two characters: sixteen-year-old Angie and first-year-teacher Madelyn. Angie hears strange noises in her house followed by voices. But no one hears them but her. Madelyn is trying to uncover the mystery of her missing cousin in the same town. The plots go back and forth between chapters. Things went a bit off the rails for me as the climax and resolution occurred. And this author obviously does NOT know what it is like to be a first-year teacher. Well, at least a good first year teacher. Madelyn just, like, goes home and chills and has a social life among many other adventures. #unrealistic A fast pace and some good pop culture references but only 3 stars.

Middle of the Night by Riley Sager

I read this one in one shot on the drive to Mackinaw City/Mackinac Island last Friday. My first disappointment from Riley Sager. 3 stars. At the age of 10, protagonist Ethan lost his best friend. The two boys were tent camping in Ethan’s yard, and he awoke to find the tent sliced open and Billy gone. Billy’s disappearance has haunted Ethan for years. He’s never gotten over it. 30 years later, Ethan’s parents move from this quiet New Jersey town to Florida, and Ethan moves into their house. Signs of Billy appear. Is he back? Is it a ghost? He and old friends are determined to find out. There wasn’t much of a twist to this one like Sager’s other work, and it dragged moving back and forth between past and present with a lot of different characters. Sager will remain an autoread for me despite this one being average.

In Any Lifetime by Marc Guggenheim

This was the best of this crop of reads at four stars. It was one of the free Prime reads for Kindle this month, and I read this one on the way back home from our weekend excursion (in between a few naps). We meet protagonist Dr. Jonas Cullen on a life-changing night. He is winning the Nobel Prize. But after the ceremony, his wife (and unborn child) is killed in a car accident. Jonas’ work has focused for years on parallel universes. So all he has to do is get himself to a universe where his wife is still alive. No problem, right? Well, of course, it's a problem which is why there is a plot to this book. But it’s certainly not the problem I anticipated. I usuallly am not one to pick up a book that has a “science-y” element, but the author made it accessible and melded it nicely with strong characters that I couldn’t help but cheer for. This reminded me of “Meet Me In Another Life” (5 stars, highly recommend). A unique, enjoyable read.

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gravitascivics · 1 year ago

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SHOULD ONE LISTEN TO SOCIAL SCIENTISTS?

From this blog’s February 19, 2021, posting, the following is offered:

The very first sentence of a book by the Nobel Prize winners Abhijit V. Banerjee and Esther Duflo about economic challenges is “We live in an age of growing polarization.”[1] Early in their book they cite the following:

81% of Americans who identify with one of the major parties has a negative opinion of the other party;

61% of Democrats classify Republicans as being racists, sexists, or bigots; 55% of Republicans dismiss Democrats as spiteful; and

Roughly one of every three Americans expresses disappointment if a close family member were to marry someone of the opposing political party.[2]

Other works cited in this blog support this overall descriptive conclusion by providing further relevant statistics.[3]

With that backdrop, the citizenry, according to press reports, has been feeding on misinformation from social media. The claim here is that if one strives for a future that incorporates a federalist general view of governance and politics – one in which citizens view fellow citizens as partners in the nation’s federated union – this general state of the citizenry is not helpful.

More specifically, this blog promotes this federalist view and for that view to be viable, people need to agree, to a significant degree, on what is objective truth. And for that to take hold, there must be sources of information generally accepted as reliable. Since the years of the Enlightenment, Western civilization has looked to science as an important source of such truth.

Here, this posting visits the science of economics and “asks” a pair of honored economists, the above cited Banerjee and Duflo, as to the standing economists enjoy – or suffer through – as being truth sources among the American people. In doing so, this posting provides an interview format in which this blogger will offer questions he believes the Nobel Prize winners answer in their book, Good Economics for Hard Times.

Of course, this is an imagined interview in which this blogger selects passages from the book to answer the questions he is posing.

Question: Much has been said about the current political environment and most of it has not been positive. How would you describe the times?

Answer: “We seem to be back in the Dickensian world of Hard Times, with the haves facing off against the increasingly alienated have-nots, with no resolution in sight.”[4]

Question: And in terms of governments – particularly the US government – what has been the response of such a “world”?

Answer: “[N]ations are doing very little to solve the most pressing challenges of our time; they continue to feed the anger and the distrust that polarize us, which makes us even more incapable of talking, thinking together, doing something about them. It often feels like a vicious cycle.”[5]

Question: What has been the response of economists to these conditions?

Answer: “Economists have a lot to say about these big issues. … What the most recent research has to say, it turns out, is often surprising, especially to those used to the pat answers coming out of TV ‘economists’ and high school textbooks. It [the research] can shed new light on those debates.”[6]

Question: You two have been quoted as to the degree in which Americans do not trust what economists have to say. Can you elaborate?

Answer: “[Regarding how respondents answered our questions they] tended to be more pessimistic than the economists … Our respondents were also more likely to think the rise of robots and AI would lead to widespread unemployment, and much less likely to think they would create extra wealth to compensate those who lost out. … [But] the key finding is that, overall, the average academic economist thinks very differently from the average American. Across all twenty questions [we used], there is a gaping chasm of 35 percentage points between how many economists agree with a particular statement and how many average Americans do.”[7]

Question: Generally, how has this chasm between economists and the American public affected your view of the well-being of the American nation?

Answer: “From this, it seems a large part of the general public has entirely stopped listening to economists about economics. …

The … goal [of our effort] is to share some of [economists’] expertise and reopen a dialogue about the most urgent and divisive topics of our times.

For that, we need to understand what undermines trust in economists.”[8]

Question: How, generally, do economists share your concerns?

Answer: “The Economist magazine once computed just how far the IMF’s [International Monetary Fund’s] forecasts were off on average over the period 2000-2014. For two years from the time of prediction (say, the growth rate in 2014 predicted in 2012), the average forecast error was 2.8 percentage points. That’s somewhat better than if they had chosen a random number between … 2 percent and 10 percent every year, but about as bad as just assuming a constant growth rate of 4 percent. We suspect these kinds of things contribute substantially to the general skepticism of economics.

Another big factor that contributes to the trust gap is that academic economists hardly ever take time to explain the often complex reasoning behind their more nuanced conclusions. … Today’s media culture does not naturally allow a space for subtle or long-winded explanations.”[9]

Let this blogger retake the helm. What seems to be at the heart of this state is the nature of the social sciences, not just economics.

For one thing, as J. Robert Rossman and Mathew D. Duerden point out, each person is unique, and if a science sets out to explain why humans behave the way they do, the number of factors are basically overwhelming.[10] Even at the group level of analysis, too many things – mostly unpredicted – come into play.

Comparing economists to physicists and engineers, Banerjee and Duflo state, “Economists are more like plumbers; we solve problems with a combination of intuition grounded in science, some guesswork aided by experience, and a bunch of pure trial and error.”[11] And they add, they, economists, get things wrong regularly.

So, where does all this lack of certitude leave civics teachers or those counting on the social sciences to provide truth? It leaves them, according to these economists, with a reality similar to how medicine leaves people; that is with good guesses based on factual claims that solicit enough faith to justify courses of action.

And that surely outperforms mere ungrounded intuition, random guesswork, or other forms of prognostication. The next posting will add to this review of economic “truth” and how it can be better directed toward the needs of a federated citizenry. With that, one would benefit by relying on social science findings, at least as one compares them to other sources of information.

[1] Abhijit V. Banerjee and Esther Duflo, Good Economics for Hard Times (New York, NY: Public Affairs, 2019), 1.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Robert Gutierrez, “Who to Trust,” Gravitas: A Voice for Civics, accessed December 2, 2023, URL: https://gravitascivics.blogspot.com/2021_02_14_archive.html.

[4] Banerjee and Duflo, Good Economics for Hard Times, 2.

[5] Ibid., 2-3.

[6] Ibid., 3.

[7] Ibid., 4.

[8] Ibid., 4-5.

[9] Ibid., 6.

[10] J. Robert Rossman and Mathew D. Duerden, Designing Experiences (New York, NY: Columbia University Press, 2019).

[11] Banerjee and Duflo, Good Economics for Hard Times, 7.

#economics #science #social science #federalism #reliable information #reliability #civics education #social studies

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 3 months ago

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I really hope you don't mind OP, but this is such a good topic and you made such a perfect jumping off point. Let me know if I should make my own post and I'll move this there.

I've talked before about how my mom was really involved in same-sex marriage campaigns nationally but in particular on the west coast prior to 2013. Being her kid and evidently somewhat charming to adults, I was a constant shadow at organizing meetings, events, and any protest that was not expected to get violent (my mom had over a decade of training in non-violent protest by the time I was born, so when she had me, she made that her focus as an organizer as opposed to her past....more controversial approaches because she was a single mom with no local family and she needed to be able to bring me along to organize but did not feel she could risk my presence at anything that might get dicey).

So I'm not going to pretend that I have The Answer TM, but suffice to say this issue is NOT new, and we may as well learn from the past!

Some tactics my mom and her fellow organized used over the years to address the priority gap between "people who need things" and "people who can provide things"

An obvious one to start. Political education! The left has historically struggled with political education, often earning a reputation as rigid, dense and overly complicated, and judgy. While to some extent how we are perceived is simply a reflection of the hegemonic dehumanization we experience, we can still make an active effort to learn and use effective political education techniques, including the use of memes, zines, theory/discussion groups, etc. My mom ran a salon once a month for fifteen years in the valley. If you were a parent, a queer, or an ally, you could show up anonymously and talk with the group about life, perspective, prejudice, change, need-meeting, whatever was on your mind. I used to curl up in the corner in my purple riding boots, my pink tutu, and my parent's old baseball cap and just listen in awe to the things people could talk about in that space. Truly life changing and something I hope to host myself someday.

Be willing to meet people where they're at when you talk to them. We learned this in my canvassing work, and I got extra lessons from my actual day job. It's called Unconditional Positive Regard, and it's an important part of being able to have functional conflict resolution in both the interpersonal and political spheres. Per the APA [link below]: "an attitude of caring, acceptance, and prizing that others express toward an individual irrespective of their behavior and without regard to the others’ personal standards. Unconditional positive regard is considered conducive to the individual’s self-awareness, self-worth, and personality growth; it is, according to Carl Rogers, a universal human need essential to healthy development." You may also hear terms like human diginity, which emphasize how fundamental this perspective is for interpersonal connection, especially where that connection may be threatened by conflict, dehumanization/contempt, etc. In plain terms: if you as an organizer want someone to listen to what you have to say, you will need to be able to talk to them like a person even/especially if they do not act in kind. I think this is one of the things that has taken the biggest hit in recent organizing. While mantras like "marginalized people don't owe you a cookie/an education" are true and important, they can sometimes obscure the reality that if we TAKE ON that obligation by becoming an organizer, then yes, in fact. During our organizing efforts, we owe the people we are working with the exact same thing any teacher owes their students: respect, compassion, educational scaffolding paired with responsive mastery exercises and opportunities, and the safety to learn and make mistakes, even really major ones, while still being allowed a path to return to the learning plan. Doing that for people who often take your kindness as an excuse to be cruel and try to incite you is excruciating and exhausting and certainly not for everyone, but when you do it as a group, when you train in communication and teaching styles, when you learn de-escalation techniques and situational safety response, it becomes much more approachable. It's a matter of knowing what tools make the recipe work in a given situation.

Find a way to make them share your priorities. I'm not actually going to use my mom as an example for this because the best example we've got for effective use case of this strategy is integration. Because integration was made the law of the land, there is a floor level of investment that white society has in maintaining quality resources like groceries, education, quality of life, etc in towns where black people are able to also access them. The floor is by no means GOOD ENOUGH ON ITS OWN but it narrowed the gap for example between the horrific state of education of black children at the time in often-makeshift and self-funded schools vs white children in their much more consistently well resoyrced schools. Now when racists want to cut education access for people of color, they can still manage it, but it is harder to do and must be done abstractly in order to avoid being stricken down in appeal. A current day conversation where we see similar logic is in the talk of establishing pay caps and pay ratios. If a CEO can legally only make 10× what their lowest paid employee does, then I think we would all feel safe betting money that the lowest paid employees' salaries would probably go up at least a little. Tactics like this that tie the empowered's need-meeting systems to the vulnerable's forces both systems to become more similar in quality. This, by the way, is an important time to point out that for MANY vulnerable people, the systems of need-meeting that are most reliably accessible to them are contained in [often criminalized] underclass sub-societies. This is how you get the devoutly Catholic mob running illegal gay bars in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, how undocumented residents become dependent on undocumentable income to survive. This is why so many long term goals of our work include various decrim campaigns. By both decriminalizing the resource/need-meeting systems the vulnerable CAN ALREADY access, and making the publicly funded/respectable systems MORE accessible, we establish quality of life floors that we can than work within specific communities to customize further for their population/residents.

Please for the love of god actually learn what mutual aid is. Money can be involved obvi, but cash/financial resource redistribution is NOT mutual aid. Mutual aid is the cultivation of a system of community-owned and community-maintained cooperatives that provide basic need meeting resources to the whole community including those who would not otherwise be able to afford them, but also including everyone who can. For an example of what mutual aid can look like, I highly recommend checking out Feed Well Fridges in North Carolina [link below]. Another example of mutual aid is the mobile safer sex ed stations my mom and her friends used to run. They'd post up in gay bars, nightclubs, and other places during the HIV/AIDS epidemic with variety packs of condoms, zines on preventing/reducing sti transmission, information on AIDS, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and other things people might want to seek medical care for or better understand. They would help people set up sti testing at the local clinics that were actually helping, provide rides for sick residents to appointments, etc. More than once someone they knew called them in a panic knowing they could help. In the case of my uncle, he was able to get treated for his HIV much sooner than many men at the time because he knew enough from his work with mom to know what to do when, and he passed away just before I was born after almost a decade HIV+. Mutual aid is only mutual aid if it is non-directional. If aid is always going out from a few places to a bunch of the same "in need" groups, that's charity. If the community themselves has organized to meet their own needs amongst themselves and any one else can have it too since it's available, that's mutual aid. This plea is not directed at anyone in particular, just sort of getting exhausted by how often I see the phrase Mutual Aid applied to things that just aren't that. But importantly, in its actual form, mutual aid is a big part of how you call in community members who would otherwise not be politically aligned with you. It's a type of modeling. You exist as this social alternative for them that and are welcoming and comversational and educational and personalized and little by little people realize that they've been sold a lie that what they have is the best there is, they internalize the humanity of their neighbors more fully, they develop communal care and protectiveness that can be called upon when vulnerable community members are threatened in future. When Bob The Rich Dentist sees Joe The Homeless Landscaper every month at the town cookout, and gets to know Mary The Single Working Mom chatting over squash at the coop market, and Zash The Trans Teenager at the community swimming pool, than when some jackass comes up to him later and tries to get him to shittalk those communities, Bob is going to start thinking twice. We know for a fact that when people can insulate themselves from the realities of another person's oppression, they become less compassionate towards that person, and more likely to be swayed by prejudicial rhetoric. Ever heard the phrase "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"? It's not just about spying on them. It's about the chances they stop being your enemy when you are able to get to know each other on common ground. This isn't "coddle bigots" this is "show people that not being bigoted is a loving experience on all sides" because isn't that the point???

So like. I'm not saying do the exact same things that movements before you have done. After all, the world has changed! So should our approaches. But you don't need to reinvent the wheel! There ARE things that have worked before and we can start there and adjust and adapt as needed!

Some projects I'm working on in meatspace:

Riparian barrier restoration, especially the valley's creek's and streams as there are a number of rare and threatened species that make their home in our fascinating little valley's freshwater biome

The city is building an overpass by our house, and no one is happy about it, but work is already underway and was before we moved in unfortunately. The neighborhood, largely black, is being increasingly sectioned off from the rest of the city (also largely black, but become increasingly gentrified and stratified as the city council pursues tourism and business classes) including the nearest grocery stores, worsening food insecurity in the area. The food fridges in the area don't quite reach us, so I'm getting into the local conversarion about whether we should work with them to extend theirs or build our own. Currently the conversation leans making our own, as then we could pair on the initiative with our sister towns, as is often done to maximize reach and minimize costs.

I'm looking to pair our home with a local shelter/fostering program for animals, focusing on those with trauma, reactivity, and behavioral issues so they can be rehomed rather than put down. Amara's settling in beautifully, so once she's been here a full year, we may start hosting our guests. Programs like this are great for animal welfare, and can help increase spay/neuter rates in a community, reduce animal abuse and neglect by offering affordable veterinary care, etc. The shelter we worked with in the past had a once per week free vaccination clinic and a once per month $50 spay/neuter (free with scholarship) alongside their regular clinic (which offered sliding fee scales), and placed fosters all throughout the community. They never had fewer than 100 animals in care per shelter location, and yet they only had to keep about 20 animals on site per location. They did great work and I really came to appreciate the value and quality of life they brought to our neighborhood

Fundamentally, if the people currently empowered to take action don't care to, we have two versions of option. 1) make them motivated to take action. 2) do it ourselves.

There are a lot of different ways to do either of those things! But there really isn't a third option. You can't force someone to do something and get a sustainable outcome. Often you can't even do it without fucking yourself harder. So try and get buy in, but always have a plan b in the back of your mind that doesn't depend on needing any more people and resources than what you have.

During meetings, my mom and aunties used to make 3 plans. One was bare bones. Nothing but the cash and bodies on hand. One was utopia. Every resource and volunteer they could possibly want. And the third was Goal. Realistically, how many people do we think we can get to do what, and how can we make the most of that. Mom always said that even when all 3 versions of the plan went to shit, having taken the time think about those different perspectives and ideas was really helpful to reacting well and pivoting in the moment as needed.

This last part is a bit personal, right, but it's mattered to me, so I'll share it regardless in case I'm not the only one it's useful for.

The youth resistance group I worked with was overseen by a pair of UUA ministers, one of whom, Doug, was part of a delegation to Tibet at one point during a lifetime of seeking out learning around international approaches to resistance. What he brought back in this case was something he described learning from the Buddhist monks he trained under in Tibet and Dharamshala. I am 100% NOT going to try to present this as a buddhist thing because I don't know enough about buddhism to speak to that, but I am aware that it's tied to the monk's buddhist ideological origins. Essentially, the idea is similar to Radical Acceptance in DBT, accept that multiple, mutually exclusive truths can all coexist in the same place and time [your brain]. Allow for many versions of Truth to be real at once, and possibility/choice/empowerment within those truths becomes exponentially more attainable. Allow for many versions of outcome to be real all at once, and the load-bearing aspects of your needs across iterations of possible future will be easier to identify and work with. Accept that you have control of nothing but yourself and your actions and use the knowledge that others can only do the same responsibly.

The last thing I learned. When everything feels heavy, set down your obligations, breathe deep, and have a good cry. And if you start to feel helpless or hopeless, remember that nothing exists alone, including you <3

there's a degree sometimes to which i look at some criticisms of political organizing efforts' language and goals (particularly when it focuses on, like, financial priorities and gaining/losing constituents) and feel like... the focus on morality is losing the plot a bit.

like, on the one hand, there's a lot of interpersonal value to criticisms like "you should be calling for public health and safety reform because disabled people's lives matter and it's the morally right thing to do." but on the other hand, the individuals who hold power in society are not moved by moral arguments and are fantastically callous--yes, even democratic politicians. the things they care about are the things that are likely to get them to change their platforms materially, which means "losing constituents who have fears about rising unemployment and a crashing work economy" is one of the relevant concerns to them regarding public health, and any organized movement worth its salt will at some point direct public action and discussion into that realm.

i'm not sure what to do with these thoughts, but i've been thinking about the general concept a lot lately.

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w-ht-w · 2 years ago

Text

When to die?

President Jimmy Carter enters hospice care.

"After a series of short hospital stays, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter today decided to spend his remaining time at home with his family and receive hospice care instead of additional medical intervention,"

He told a church congregation in 2019 that he was "at ease with death" following his cancer diagnosis,

“I, obviously, prayed about it. I didn’t ask God to let me live, but I just asked God to give me a proper attitude toward death. And I found that I was absolutely and completely at ease with death. It didn’t really matter to me whether I died or lived," ... “I have, since that time, been absolutely confident that my Christian faith includes complete confidence in life after death. So, I’m going to live again after I die — Don’t know what form I’ll take, or anything.”

He served one term, losing in 1980 to Ronald Reagan.

Carter was recognized after his presidency for his tireless work in promoting peaceful resolutions to conflict and advancing democracy, human rights and social justice, primarily through the Carter Center, which he and his wife established at Emory University in 1982.

He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002 (2)

Makes me wonder: when should we call it quits on life? That’s the whole point of the health + medical professions, right? But when is life no longer worth living? What’s the point of prolonging life? We are always going to want just a little bit longer.

Reminds me of that article “Why I Hope to Die at 75″

the specific limit, of 75 years, is somewhat arbitrary – but his point is that it makes you start to consider where your life is heading; the ultimate memento mori. “I’m challenging people to think about their personal philosophy,” he says; he’s certainly not suggesting that others follow him. “I think one of the problems, if you don’t set a date, is that you don’t confront the big question, and you don’t perceive your decline,” he says. “I want to shift to focus to saying ‘you’ve got 75 years, what are you going to make of it?’” (4)

Emanuel isn’t trying to persuade many people to drop the quest for a longer life: evidence, he knows, is no match for the human ego. “One of the things I don’t understand is why the Silicon Valley types want to live forever,” Emanuel says. “Obviously they believe the world can’t possibly survive without their existence, and so they think their immortality is so critical to the survival of the world.” There is, however, an ethical way to chase life extension in a way that benefits everyone. “The proportion of the population that dies before 75, that’s the number we ought to be looking at and tracking,” Emanuel says. “We want to get everyone to 75.” (2)

Why Do People Want to Live So Long, Anyway?

“The quest to live forever, or to live for great expanses of time, has always been part of the human spirit,” ... People now seem to have particular reason to be optimistic: in the past century, science and medicine have extended life expectancy, and longevity researchers (not to mention Silicon Valley types) are pushing for a life that lasts at least a couple decades more.

“We don’t understand it, we don’t get it, and as meaning-laden beings, we can’t fathom what it means to not exist.” In other words, thinking about the infinite desert of death can trigger the worst kind of FOMO. (2)

1. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/jimmy-carter-receive-hospice-care-home-rcna71342

2. https://time.com/4672969/why-do-people-want-to-live-so-long/

3. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/

4. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20141021-why-i-want-to-die-at-75

#death

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pick-em-pool · 2 years ago

Text

WEEK 17

EVERYONE, Don't PANIC 🚨🚨🚨 But we only have ONE MORE WEEK 🤯 to crown a CHAMPION 👑 of the 3rd annual Pick-Em-Pool tournament of stars ⭐⭐⭐ It's a new year, new you, and anyone can win some MONEYYYYY 🤑🤑🤑 We're giving out cash prizes for 1st place, 2nd place, 3rd place, and 10th place, so DON'T despair if you don't have a shot at the TITLE 💲💲💲 I know for me my New Year's resolution is to get a little bit of cash 😎 let's see how our contestants stack up heading into the final week.

VAL - 12 POINTS

LOTS of excellent picks this week from people, and none more so than Val, who called both the Pittsburgh and Jacksonville upsets 🔥🔥 Everyone is proud of our future Law & Order costar. A reliable source tells me that upon passing the BAR exam Val's New Year's resolution is to become a lobbyist in Pennsylvania focused on marriage reform law. She hopes one day to legally wed her one true love - Rocky 🐕 The reliable source is me after I saw her lick Rocky's leftover Crème Brulee bowl 🤢 I wouldn't even do that with a HUMAN, much less Rocky "The Thong Thief" Daigneault!

JULIETTE - 12 POINTS

The cactus choir singer proves to be a wildcard YET AGAIN 🃏🃏🃏 putting up a stellar 12 points heading into the final week 🏁 will she be able to navigate her way into that 10th place spot, and earn some closing cash? 🤔 I don't think she's going to grab first place, that would be too "mainstream" for her 🧔 After getting the CD player, our little hipster is looking into everything "you've probably never heard of". her search history is rather telling:

GABBY - 12 POINTS

Our current leader has herself a vice-grip on FIRST PLACE heading into the final week 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Will she be the first person to dethrone the mighty Janie??? I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE. Gabby's New Year's resolution is to roll the dice and see if she can WIN some money! She didn't actually make it home with me, I think she is still rolling craps dice at the Venetian right now. She doesn't know how to play craps 😬 but she does know that drinks at the Venetian are free, and she's moving in 🏠🏡🏚🏘

RUSTY - 12 POINTS

Another rock-solid performance puts Rusty squarely into second place with a fair shot at the title 🏆 a HUGE change from last year's last place performance! How has he moved from worst to best in almost a year?! 😱 If I'm him, my New Year's resolution is to just try everything I'm bad at again, see if I can just suddenly become the BEST somehow.

Faceplanted wakeboarding last year? Triple backflip incoming

Bad vegetarian cook? Michelin Stars coming your way

Can't do a backflip? See you at the cirque du soleil

JANIE - 11 POINTS

Janie and Peyton are locked in a cage match for that final 3rd place spot 🥊🥊🥊 who is going to win the brawl and emerge with some MOOLAH? 💸💸💸 That's going to be much needed after hosting a 6'13" boyfriend and a human garbage disposal husband for 3 weeks. I think Janie's New Year's resolution should be to just toss Peyton and Logan a 60 lb bag of lentils when they arrive and call it a day before they eat all her food and start gnawing on her furniture 🍔🍕🍖🍗

PEYTON - 11 POINTS

Does Peyton have the heart to CRUSH Janie this week and take the third place spot for himself??? 😫 I'm not sure, but if I'm him I'm going to 'strategically' miss a couple more games than usual this week 🤐 or I might find myself run over by a vintage Mercedes that was "lost" on the disc golf range by an anonymous mother heading to pick up her daughter from swim practice 🏎🏎🏎

ABBY - 9 POINTS

With another 9 point finish, our beloved blondie holds the ignominious title of "LAST PLACE" going into the final week of the season 😭😭😭 If I'm Abby making my New Year's resolution, I'm expanding my boyfriend pool. Don't drop Brady! He's great for many things:

Tall

Dark

Handsome

Valentine's date

Fun as heck

But Abby needs a BUB - a Back-Up-Boyfriend 👨👨👨 Someone that's going to score more than 9 points a week and get her that DUB 🥇🥇🥇🥇 she can store him in the closet when he's not making any picks 💼💼💼

JJ - 9 POINTS

A tough week DROPs JJ out of the money and into 4th place for this week. EVERYTHING rides on his final round of picks 😨 can he scrape together enough points to win some cash?!?! 😳😳😳 For my man JJ, I have to recommend a New Year's Resolution: He needs a pair of glasses! 👓👓👓 I don't know why he won't go see the eye doctor with his terrible vision 🤷‍♀️ I even hear him around the house shouting I WANNA KNOW. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN??? Glasses could fix that my man!!!

Alright people, thank you all for another wonderful football season 🏈🏈🏈 Nothing is certain so make you FINAL picks and get ready to win some MONEY 💰💰💰💰 LAST ONE FAST ONE

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noco7 · 2 years ago

Note

Do you think RR Noah felt kind of OOC?

I could speak for hours about RR Noah. There's a lot that bothers me about him in that season, that's more than just him being "OOC." And it's more than just n*mma.

But yes, he is OOC. It's stated in canon that Owen finds Noah's actions strange. He sees Noah staring at Emma, and it's so strange that the only explanation he can come up with is "maybe he has rabies." The fact that n*mma is unnatural is not only lampshaded, but honestly the point. Noah is acting strange! Because he's in loooove. And "love makes you do strange things" !!! Which isn't completely untrue, but that means you have to assume Noah was in love with Emma as soon as he saw her. Which uhh, doesn't quite make sense, considering Noah has always been the "unimpressed" one.

N*mma's like a self-insert fic. Noah, stoic cold Noah, took one look at her and suddenly he can't take his eyes off her. Suddenly he's doing everything to help her win, everything to be near her. And well, that works when your Y/N, when it's a fanfic and the people reading already want to believe. So the point isn't to be accurate, but to present the most promising fantasy. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But it's not the writing you do for a TV show, when you're trying to convince people who's never seen this ship that it makes sense. (And especially not the writing you do when you also have to convince the audience that the guy in it isn't gay.)

But Noah's decline in RR is more than just N*mma. There's the fact that they set up a promise in the first episode and broke it. There's the fact that his character arc is a circle. There's the fact that RR as a season doesn't really suit Noah's strengths. And yeah, there's the fact that n*mma was poorly written.

So let's walk our way through this.

1) Noah says in the first episode, that he is going to focus on WINNING. "Every reality show I've been on, I lost. This time, no excuses, no distractions." I am bolding this because it is very important. Noah wants to win. This is a little strange for Noah, but it's good, and its easy to fill in the reasons. He's tired of losing is the obvious one. Maybe he needs the money, maybe it's a New Years resolution. It's be great if the show told us exactly why he's taking the show serioudly, but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

The important thing is he's finally going to TRY. Right? Right?

Nope. The challenge in the 2nd episode is to pick out five specific spices. Noah says "just give us the five closest to you." 🤦‍♂️ This wasn't even his own plan. He copied Dwaynes. Like... what happened to trying? What happened to wanting to win? And then makes Owen eat the resulting mess, so again. What effort is Noah putting in? Where's the try? BTW - one of the spices he was supposed to identify was cinnamon. CINNAMON. How does he not know what cinnamon is? Like at least try to get one right. (Honestly, this whole challenge sucks? Only white people would think identifying spices is a challenge.)

There's also a challenge where he has to memorize an Icelandic phrase. Just one phrase. Somehow he fucks this up. He's supposedly a smart guy, and he fucks this up.

It's like the writers forgot that his character existed beyond snark. Noah is supposed to be a smart guy. Why can't he memorize one phrase? He's also supposed to be Indian ... like from, you know, India, the place that's known for its spices? Hmm. I'm not saying he has to know every single spice, but it feels fake that he doesn't know one.

Again, what happened to trying? What happened to "focusing on the cheddar?" aka the prize money? What happened to attempting competence?

So when I say they set up a promise in the first episode and broke it, this is what I mean. They set up an idea and completely forgot about it, to the point of making Noah dumber than he rationally should be.

2) So remember Noah in Island? He wasn't really a character till the dodgeball episode, where he refused to help his teammates, made fun of them, and gets eliminated for it.

Now think of Noah's last episode in RR. He refuses to help Owen with the Komodo dragon and gets himself flattened by a pile of rugs. And you think "oh well now he can't help because he's stuck, poor baby." But he can help himself because he does when Emma calls him. But he refuses to on his own, or when Owen calls out to him. And they get eliminated because of it. So once again, Noah refuses to help his teammates and gets eliminated for it.

Which makes it sound like it's not OOC, he's just a really flat character. And that's sorta true, but the RR version is WORSE.

Noah never made a promise to win in Island. And the teammates he was refusing to help - he didn't know them. They were strangers. And above all, he didn't directly cause their loss. Sure, he was deadweight, but the team could have won without him if it weren't for Harold.

But in RR, the person he's refusing to help is Owen. His best friend. The nicest person alive, the guy who did everything for Noah when Emma dumped him. He's refusing to help his best friend win, and making sure they lose. Why? Because he's decided he doesn't care about the game anymore, now that he has Emma. Great, but OWEN'S STILL RIGHT THERE.

Despite the narrative trying to tell us that Noah is a nicer person because of Emma, he's still clearly selfish AF. You could even say he's gotten WORSE now. And that really fucking sucks.

So when I say Noah's character arc is a circle, I mean it. His selfish actions have not changed, despite three years, a girlfriend, and the nicest best friend in the world.

3) RR as a season doesn't suit Noah. What do I mean by that? Well, RR is a season where everyone is divided into pairs that rarely interact with each other. It's not that they never interact - the Icedancers and the Cops rivalry is unmatched, but that they don't do it all that often. It's more coincidental to run into another group than anything else. At least that's the vibe I got.

But Noah is a character who thrives off being mean to a variety of people that he's had time to observe. In WT, Noah got to make fun of Tyler and Izzy and Alejandro and Sierra and Heather and Chris, all people he knew pretty well. Noah doesn't know the people in RR. And the only ones he gets close to are Owen, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's sister. The latter two are off-limits to insult, so Owen gets stuck with all the mean things.

And this doesn't work, because Noah's best insults are ones that are either make you say a) 'nah, he's got a point though" b) "ayy get them, they deserve it" or c) "why would you say something like that lmao, what's wrong with you?"

A is him dissing Alejandro, B is Chris, and C is the dodgeball episode.

But him being mean to Owen is none of those things. Owen isn't a bad person, and although he makes mistakes, none of them are deserving of harsh criticism. Especially considering Owen is supposed to be, you know, his friend. And Owen is more capable than Noah this season, so it just lands flat. The only thing you can take away from Noah being mean to Owen is that Noah is an asshole. And true... but. Not in an interesting way.

By limiting Noah to just Owen as his main target of snark, it makes him seem like an asshole. Which is actually okay imo. Noah's a shitty person, and I like watching shitty people. But there's nothing gained from it in the show. Owen practically never calls him out on being shitty. In fact, even though Noah lost him the show and made everything more difficult, Owen remarks that "he's just happy to be with his lil buddy." Bruh... can someone save this man? Please? Sweetie, you deserve so much better.

There is ONE moment I'd like to highlight that challenges this. One episode, Noah is required to perform air guitar on stage. He's reluctant because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and his crush is watching and omg does Noah have stage fright? Is he shy? haha it's kinda cute and actually believable. Owen points out that he needs Noah to do it anyway, asking Noah to be his "hero." And Noah... does. He goes out there, he air-guitars away, and it's a really good moment. It shows Noah's flaws, how they affect the people around him. It's great to see Owen stand up for himself and confront him, and it's lovely to see Noah respond and change his stance to help his friend.

And then he refuses to help his friend a few episodes later. So... ehh. Good job, hero.

4)N*mma. I think what's wrong with N*mma is that TD writers are incapable of writing a woman being the romantic initiator unless they're crazy - Izzy, Sierra. Otherwise, the woman should ALWAYS be approached by the man first. The man should always be making the first moves or the first flirtations. After all, to keep tension in a relationship, there needs to be a question of "will they get together." And what man WOULDN'T want a girlfriend? What guy would ever turn down a gf? Whereas a girl can ponder and wonder and think "oh i don't know him that well, oh im not sure." But no one ever extends that waiting period to guys. They're just expected to always be down for women.

But Noah isn't an "average" guy. He's antisocial. He doesn't flirt, he looks down on romance, and he's never expressed concern about getting a girl. And he's never, ever, put in effort to woo someone. Never! Noah is very anti-effort. King.

But hey, TD needs to write him in a romance, and the only romance they write requires the guy to simp for a girlboss. So Noah starts simping for a girlboss. I must admit I don't think the idea of Noah simping is complete trash. But it needs to be worked up to. Or at the very least, denied until Noah can deny it no longer.

(Also when has Noah being into girlbosses? I know TD is into girlbosses, since they've written, like, 50, but Noah? Noah's has shown nothing but disdain for Courtney and Heather. Also there's the fact that Emma tries to cut Noah's hair against his will with a fish? And talks about marriage and family like... 2 days into their relationship? I'm confused why that isn't a turn off to Noah. He's the one who warned Owen about Izzy, right? He's the one who made fun of Sierra for being stalker? So why is he into it now? Answer me Fresh)

Anyway.... it's like Total Drama doesn't know the meaning of "gradual." And tbf, with 32 contestants and a half hour show time, it's hard to write a slow burn. They don't have the time for it.

Still, they could have done better. The easiest way to fix N*mma, imo, is to just rip off Pride and Prejudice plotline. Emma already has a kid sister. Like, imagine Emma and Noah dislike each other had first, mean sarcastic nerds that they are. They dislike each other, Noah has a crush on her but is hiding it, and is pushed to confess by Owen.

Doesn't work out because his confession sucks because Noah has ZERO social skills.

N*mma take some time off, Kitty falls into the ocean or smth, Noah rescues her, and Emma is like "wow ur a good nice person after all" and Noah's like "i just had to save her, i couldn't let her die" and then they kiss or smth. Like come on Fresh, why didn't you go with that? Pride and Prejudice is in the public domain!! Like no one was stopping you.

All in all, if N*mma had to be written, it should have been like I said, or Duncney style. Noah should be allowed to be mean and grow from it.

And that's what's wrong with N*mma. Noah is mean but does not grow from it. He gets Emma regardless of how he treats Owen. They're completely separate things. His struggle to get Emma to like him has LESS to do with Noah, and more to do with Emma's own issues. Like you're telling me Noah's in a relationship, and he's NOT the problem? He should have been the problem. Ughh.

So when I say N*mma was poorly written, I mean that it has insta-love, that Noah does not act like himself in the relationship, and that Emma doesn't make him a substantially better person. (I know he gave Jake the rings, but he doesn't help his own bestie in the end, ... so its rlly hard to say he's grown.)

Tl;dr Noah in RR is forced into a romance plotline he doesn't fit, and ditches the self-improvement plotline that we were all rooting for, ending up in the same place as he started. Noah's romance should have served to highlight his character growth not BE his character growth. It's peak TD writing, honestly. He betrays his team for his girl like Trent did in TDA. He falls for her as fast as Duncan did for Gwen in WT. And the way he treats Owen, his supposed friend, somewhat resembles how Leshawna chose to view Heather in WT. Sad.

#td noah #td rr #td askbox #i would tag more but tumblr hates me #so i will just reblog with a screenshot of my old tags #uhh #anti-nemma

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cheri-translates · 3 years ago

Text

[CN] Gavin’s 2021 Birthday R&S

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for an R&S which has not been released in EN! 🍒

[ This was released on 24 July 2021 ]

[ Chapter One: Model Aircraft Competition ]

The cicadas outside the window are clamorous, and the dark green trees cover the blazing sun, casting shady and cooling patches.

This is an incredibly ordinary late afternoon. The summer vacation is about to arrive, and the classroom is filled with the buzzing chatter of students, as rowdy as usual.

Gavin is asleep on the seat next to the window. Sunlight passes through the crevices of leaves and linger on his shoulders, bright and indolent. However, he isn’t actually sleeping, and the conversation between his deskmate and the student in front of him drift to his ears clearly.

“Hey, are you going for that model aircraft competition the teacher mentioned a few days ago?”

“I heard all the middle schoolers in our city will be participating. Those who get prizes will have extra marks, and the person who gets first place can visit the Aviation Headquarters!”

“Then again, you’ll need the capabilities to win. If you're participating, I’ll watch.”

“Hehe, you speak as though the person who lags behind in every subject can bag a trophy.”

The two of them attack each other with taunting remarks. After lapsing into a moment of silence, they suddenly turn their gazes to Gavin simultaneously.

Gavin’s deskmate pokes his arm and calls out to him.

“Gavin, you aren’t asleep, are you?”

The figure wearing a blue and white school uniform remains plopped on the desk, unmoving. A slightly muffled response drifts from him.

“What is it?”

Gavin’s deskmate and the student sitting in front of him look at each other, then speak excitedly.

“Do you know about that recent model aircraft competition?”

Gavin lets out a “mm”.

“Aren’t you going to participate?”

“We had a discussion about it, and felt that in the entire class, you’re the only one with the capabilities to win a prize. The others are just a bunch of useless troops, and they’d be of no use even if they went.”

Gavin stirs slightly. His deskmate looks at him with anticipation. In the end, he simply cushions his head using the other arm.

“Not interested.”

“Huh?”

His deskmate stares at the back of his head in utter disbelief.

“Your dad’s a military officer, and you’ve seen more real planes since young as compared to the number of models we’ve played with. This competition is basically made for you.”

Gavin doesn’t respond. In the sunlight, a few strands of hair on the back of the youth’s head stick up disobediently, clearly showing that he isn’t in the best of moods.

At this moment, the dismissal bell rings. Along with the cheers from students, the classroom erupts into a state of chaos.

Gavin finally sits up. After stuffing the English book he used as a pillow into his sling bag, he turns around and leaves the classroom.

After the figure vanishes at the door, Gavin’s deskmate turns to the student sitting in front of him, expressing puzzlement.

“Why do you think Gavin doesn’t want to participate? A few days ago, I saw him at the bookstore outside school buying an Aeromodelling Atlas.”

The student in front of him shrugs, signalling that he has no idea.

“Maybe he got bored.”

[ Chapter Two - Proof ]

When Gavin reaches home, his mother has yet to return.

Placing his bag down, he suddenly notices a new post-it note on the fridge. On it, there’s a menu written in delicate handwriting: Stir-fried tomato and scrambled eggs, fried stuffed tofu, stir-fried duck with pineapples.

There’s a smiley face drawn on the last line, and the words “The dishes Little Gav loves to eat” are written at the side.

Only then does Gavin remember - his birthday is coming.

Every year, his mother would start preparations way in advance. It’s as if in her eyes, this particular day is even more worthy of celebration as compared to all other festivals.

And this year is no exception.

The post-it note is a little crooked. Gavin uses a fridge magnet to straighten it, then returns to his room.

The small room is covered with traces of youth. There are posters of basketball celebrities on the walls, and there's a globe and a few books on the desk.

After hesitating for a while, Gavin pulls open his bag and takes out a pamphlet. On it, there’s information pertaining to the model aircraft competition.

He reads the information seriously. A breeze blows the the white curtains, and the lights and shadows of dusk outline the youth’s straightened back profile, casting specks of light on a book. The words “Aeromodelling Atlas” can be vaguely seen.

While reading, he suddenly recalls the words his deskmate said-

“Your dad’s a military officer, and you’ve seen more real planes since young as compared to the number of models we’ve played with. This competition is basically made for you.”

His grip on the pamphlet abruptly tightens. Gavin rolls it into a ball and tosses it on the table, getting up in frustration and leaving the room.

Everything in the living room is clean and tidy. The school uniform he had changed out of is drying in the balcony. The large uniform drifts with the wind, and the air is filled with the fragrance of soap.

Even though there are clear traces of diligence and attentiveness, certain things can still be seen.

Model robots and clay crafts are displayed neatly on the left side of the built-in cupboard. However, there’s nothing on the right side.

All the cups and plates form a complete set. However, one cup is placed upside down on the cup rack. Although it has been a long time since it was last used, its owner wipes it spotlessly every day.

It’s as if the person she’s waiting for has always been around. Disappointment has repeated itself in endless cycles, but she continually harbours hope.

Gavin ignores such traces. He walks over to the fan in the living room, furrowing his brows as he squats down.

This fan has been spoilt for several days. Each time it’s turned on, it releases a strange clacking sound, akin to a heavy wooden door being pushed open with great effort.

When Wardia steps in with a bag of groceries, she sees Gavin half-squatting and studying that fan which has been broken for numerous days.

She calls out to Gavin.

“Little Gav, the fan is spoilt. I’ll ask a worker to fix it tomorrow. Don’t mind it.”

“When you called yesterday, the worker said that he wouldn’t be free these days. He probably won’t be able to drop by tomorrow either.”

Gavin pushes the outer shell of the fan lightly, and the white netted cover stirs gently, letting out a muffled buzz.

“No need to call for a worker. I can fix it.”

Wardia is stunned for a moment. Then, her eyes crinkle into a smile.

“When did our Little Gav become so incredible?”

Gavin stands up, his tone very certain.

“Leave it to me.”

Wardia casts a contemplative glance at Gavin. He’s going to be 14 soon. At this age, children tend to think about a lot of things, and may be exceptionally sensitive in certain areas.

Since a particular point in time, he had already been working hard and learning how to become a man with an indomitable spirit.

She can only nod.

“Okay. Mommy bought green beans today. I’ll prepare you a cooling soup later to alleviate the summer heat.”

With this, Gavin responds by heading to the kitchen to get a bowl to soak the beans for his mother.

The green coloured beans are immersed in water. Some float and some sink, and their colours are clear.

Wardia looks at Gavin. After a moment of hesitance, she speaks in a light-hearted and leisurely tone.

“Little Gav... Daddy took up an urgent mission recently and was sent to a very faraway place. He might not be around for your birthday this year again...”

“Mm, I’ve got it.”

Gavin’s tone is very indifferent. It’s as though whether that person returns or not has nothing to do with him at all. Wardia wants to say something, but after opening her mouth, she turns around, forcefully suppressing her emotions.

Gavin carries the bowl with both hands. When he sees his mother’s back, he suddenly grows quiet.

Why harbour hope when one clearly knows the ending?

After dinner, Gavin returns to his room. The pamphlet is still on the desk. He pauses for a moment, then reaches out to pick it up.

He’s going to be 14 years old soon.

Becoming one year older is something his mother looks forward to even more than he does. Because of this, she feels even guiltier with every year of his father’s absence.

Even though he knows he doesn’t need that person to wish him a happy birthday, he hopes that his mother can be a little more genuinely happy on his birthday.

Gavin makes a decision.

He smoothens the pamphlet on the desk. In a serious manner, he fills up the registration form on the back with his name. When he sets down the pen, his eyes sparkle with a certain determination.

He wants to participate in the model aircraft competition, and he wants to get first place.

He wants to use something he likes to prove to that person that he has already grown up, and has become even more incredible than he imagined.

“I’m going to prove to you that I can still do it without Evol.” He repeats resolutely once more.

If that person left this house back then because of how small and weak Gavin was, he’d definitely have a slightly different answer when he sees the current Gavin.

He’d definitely want to... return and see this family.

[ Chapter Three - Wings Waiting To Fly ]

Aeromodelling books and scattered materials are piled up in Gavin’s room. When Wardia enters while carrying chilled green bean lily bulb soup, she sees Gavin sitting cross-legged on the floor, using a vernier calliper to measure the wingspan.

Wardia carefully steps across the spare parts, placing the bowl on the desk.

“Little Gav, why are you so diligent in this competition? You’ve been fiddling around in your room for several days.”

Gavin wipes sweat off his forehead.

“This is a really large-scale competition. The teacher says that the person in first place will get to visit the Aviation Headquarters. I want to have a look.”

He’s determined not to tell his mother the true reason.

Wardia nods, giving him a “work hard” gesture.

“In that case, Little Gav must continue working hard and strive to be a guest at the aviation base.”

Wardia pauses, then looks at Gavin seriously.

“But Little Gav, even though this is a very rare opportunity, you must remember that no matter what happens at the end, Mommy will be happy for you. Because I know that you’re doing something you like, that you’ve worked hard, and have obtained happiness in the process. And that’s enough.”

Gavin nods.

“I know.”

“Oh yes, Mommy also wants to use this chance to discuss your birthday plans with you.”

Wardia grins while posing a question.

“What does Little Gav want as a birthday present this year? And what kind of pattern do you want your birthday cake to have?”

“Do you want to invite your classmates over to celebrate with you?”

Wardia prattles on endlessly as she counts the plans she has for his birthday on her fingers. That pair of beautiful eyes are layered with gentleness, but also hide a twinge of guilt.

It’s as though she’s exerting her all to ensure that other aspects are done even better to make up for that guilt.

After Gavin ponders for a while, he shakes his head.

“I’ve already grown up, so there isn’t anything I specially want as a birthday gift.”

“I just want Mommy to always be happy.”

When Wardia hears Gavin’s words, she’s taken aback for half a second. Her eyes stir slightly.

After this, she walks over to hug Gavin gently. Gavin has no idea why his mother is suddenly doing this, but he puts down the blueprint of the aircraft wing, reaching out to return his mother’s hug.

Wardia speaks softly yet resolutely.

“Little Gav, even if you become an adult in the future and become a man with an indomitable spirit, your birthday is still an important thing.”

She pauses.

“Because this day doesn’t just belong to you. It also belongs to everyone who loves you, and the people who have prepared and looked forward to this day for a very long time.

After his mother leaves the room, Gavin looks at the blueprint of the plane which is just beginning to take shape. He repeats what his mother said softly.

“It also belongs to everyone who loves you, and the people who have prepared and looked forward to this day for a very long time...”

Those clear eyes seem to be filled with an even greater determination to win the prize. He picks up the vernier calliper and continues measuring the wingspan.

[ Chapter Four: Heading In Another Direction ]

There’s only one week till Gavin’s birthday.

That huge pile of materials in Gavin’s room has turned into a beautiful white plane with blue wings and smooth lines.

At the competition venue, that white aircraft model ascends, spins around, flies upside down, and lands under Gavin’s control. Everyone is astonished at how perfect it is.

Without any reservations, Gavin wins first place.

The person handing out prizes is a certain officer from an aviation base. He places a small plane-shaped badge into Gavin’s hand.

“You referenced the air freighter Y2251 for the style, didn’t you? I could tell from a glance.”

Gavin nods, and the officer pats him on the shoulder.

“You reconstructed it very close to the original. Being this outstanding at such a young age, I believe your father will definitely be proud of you when he knows about this.”

Gavin lifts his head sharply, staring at the officer.

“Do you know him?”

The officer who handed him the award chuckles.

“I met him at an international meeting in the past. He’s a very outstanding soldier.”

Gavin doesn’t speak further. He lowers his eyes, tightly gripping that badge which symbolises the sky.

At night, Gavin sits at the edge of the window, lifting the small aviator badge to his eyes, staring at it meticulously under the moonlight.

The badge isn’t large, but the wings on it have been engraved vividly. It’s as though in the very next second, it could break free from the heavy fetters of metal, flying freely towards the horizon.

Gavin looks at it for a very long time, then reluctantly shifts his gaze away from the badge.

The summer evening breeze passes by his lapel, bringing with it a cooling and refreshing scent. The trees in the courtyard are very tall, and the sprigs of blossoming plants stretch to the edges of the window, touching his ankle.

This is the first time he has attained honour based on his own strength. Does this mean he now possesses the strength to be acknowledged by others?

He looks at the badge. Finally, his eyes crinkle into a slight smile, unintentionally revealing the wilfulness and pride that a youth should have.

Using his hands to support himself on the edge of the window, Gavin turns around and leaps back into his room. He locates a plain white envelope from his drawer, then picks up a pen. On the address line, he fills in his father’s current location, then stuffs the badge into the envelope solemnly.

After hesitating for a while, he scrunches up the envelope slightly. A few creases immediately appear on it.

Only after he leaps over the wall and heads out to slip that envelope into a mailbox at the corner of the street does Gavin release a soft sigh of relief.

This is a proof of pride, and it’s also an invitation from a youth.

An invitation for the person whom his mother cares about to return to this place, and spend a birthday together which could constitute a “reunion”.

Gavin stands in front of the mailbox, lifting his head to look at the star-studded sky.

Tonight, the Milky Way seems to be brighter than in previous nights. Sagittarius emits a resplendent light, and the bow formed by stars points towards an unknown, faraway place.

[ Chapter Five: Indentations of Growth ]

On the early morning of Gavin’s birthday, Wardia cooks him a bowl of longevity noodles, and there’s even a soft-boiled egg burrowed underneath the noodles.

“Happy birthday, Little Gav.”

“From today onwards, you’ve grown one year older.”

His mother smiles as she says her well wishes to Gavin. After he’s done eating the noodles, she holds out a measuring tape.

“Shall we measure how much taller our Little Gav has grown this year?”

“...okay.”

Gavin is slightly resigned but accustomed to it as he stands next to the pole in the corridor.

Right now, he has already grown much taller. In a serious manner, Wardia uses a pencil to draw a mark near the roof of his head.

“Our Little Gav has grown much taller. Wow, one, two, three... four centimetres.”

His mother keeps the measuring tape and Gavin steps away from the pole. There are numerous deep and light indents on the white body of the pole - traces that witness one boy’s growth each year.

"Looks like I won’t need to measure you next year. Little Gav has already grown taller than Mommy.”

Gavin immediately cuts in, his tone extremely certain.

“I’ll protect Mommy.”

Wardia taps Gavin’s forehead lightly.

“Mommy doesn’t need to be protected by Little Gav. Mommy will protect Little Gav. I’ll celebrate your birthday with you every year until you grow up.”

“What will happen after I grow up?”

His mother grins as she turns around and enters the kitchen. Her gentle voice drifts to Gavin’s ears, and sounds a little hazy.

“After you grow up, you’ll meet someone like Mommy who is willing to celebrate a lifetime of birthdays with you.”

While his mother starts busying herself to prepare Gavin’s birthday feast, Gavin decides to fix the fan in the living room.

With the successful experience of aeromodelling, Gavin picks up the instruction manual and fixes that clanking fan very quickly.

The fixed fan starts rotating to and fro in a leisurely manner, releasing a cooling wind. Gavin closes his eyes to feel the breeze, and his hair is blown up, fluttering messily.

“It’s fixed.” Gavin opens his eyes, turning his head to look at the time.

Noon passed not too long ago, and it’s still very early.

Gavin thinks for a moment, then heads into his room to retrieve the model aircraft. He sits on the steps of the courtyard.

A chunk of paint on the model aircraft cracked a few days ago. Gavin holds a small brush, slowly giving a fresh coat of paint to the tailplane.

The cicadas on the trees are noisy as always, and the brilliant sunlight filters through the leaves, falling on Gavin’s face.

While using the small brush to mend the plane with layers of paint, Gavin occasionally lifts his head towards the nearby door.

Judging by the time, he should still reach today, no matter how late it is.

Birds soar in the sky, and the sun continuously shifts to the west, until it brings twilight with it, turning into a semicircle about to be swallowed up by the horizon.

Gavin sits on the steps for a very long time, from noon till late afternoon, and until the beautiful lines on the model aircraft have been mended, laying beside him quietly.

Yet, that door doesn’t get pushed open.

A few leaves are blown by the wind, and they fall on the wings of the model aircraft. Gavin reaches out to pick the leaves up.

He grips the leaves in his palm, lowering his eyes and thinking about something unknown to anyone else.

With a sudden creak, the sound of a door opening drifts from afar, and footsteps land on Gavin’s ears.

Gavin instantly straightens up, but he quickly faces away.

The tender dusk envelops him, illuminating the slightly upturned corners of his lips.

[ Chapter Six: A Heart of Well Wishes ]

The people who pushed the door open are his maternal grandfather and grandmother.

Carrying a birthday cake, they brim with smiles as they walk towards Gavin.

His grandfather grabs Gavin into a hug.

“We wish our Little Gav a happy birthday.”

His grandmother lifts the cake, waving it at Gavin.

“Grandpa and Grandma specially bought a cake to see you, and to celebrate our Little Gav’s birthday.”

“Thanks, Grandpa and Grandma.”

Gavin receives the cake from his grandmother and heads towards the living room with them. Before walking up the steps, Gavin casts another glance at the door.

The door remains quietly caged in twilight, waiting alongside Gavin.

But even until the evening grows dark, it is never pushed open again.

Wardia notices Gavin’s abnormal silence. When she follows his gaze and looks at the door outside, she realises something.

However, Wardia doesn’t say anything. She simply pauses, then is full of smiles as she opens the cake box.

“Here’s wishing our birthday boy a happy 14th birthday!” His grandparents grin while singing the birthday song.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...”

After singing the birthday song, his mother looks at Gavin, speaking gently.

“Go on and make a wish, Little Gav.”

Gavin stares at the cake and remains silent for a while. Then, he speaks quietly in his heart.

It’s fine if that person doesn't return. It’s fine if he isn’t acknowledged. Anyway, he has celebrated his birthday today, and has grown one year older.

He can fix a fan for his mother, and can use his strength to protect this home.

So-

It’s fine.

After dinner, the family sits in the courtyard to enjoy the cool air.

Hearing from his mother that Gavin won the first place in the aeromodelling competition, his grandparents are extremely surprised.

“Little Gav is truly incredible. Isn’t it really difficult to build models? What reward would you like? Grandpa and Grandma will give it to you.”

“There isn’t anything I want as a reward.”

However, his grandfather is very stubborn.

“You’re still so young. How can there be nothing that you want? Just suggest something, and treat it as a gift from your Grandpa and Grandma.”

At this appropriate time, Wardia cuts in. “This is a well wish from your elders, so just accept it.”

Gavin lowers his eyes and thinks for a moment. Then, he lifts his head and responds softly.

“In that case, I want our family to be like this every year in the future.”

He pauses, his eyes carrying within them slight warmth and ease.

“We’ll eat cake together, talk together, and sing the birthday song together.”

"That’s such an easy feat. Every year in the future, Grandpa and Grandma will bring a cake and celebrate Little Gav’s birthday with your Mommy.”

“It’s a deal.”

The evening breeze blows past gently, blowing up stray hairs in front of Gavin’s forehead, revealing a pair of clear amber eyes. He turns back to the courtyard and watches as his grandparents and mother engage in small talk and laughing to their heart’s content.

This is a complete family which has been mended with love, and it has much warmth and many things to look forward to.

It encases the youth’s heart, enabling him to not feel lonely at this moment.

The Milky Way is as magnificent as always. Beneath the brilliant star-studded sky, the tree which has been growing in the courtyard for a very long time stands quietly, as though it would remain this way every year.

Cheri’s Reflections:

Imagine if the letter wasn’t sent because Gavin forgot to put stamps LOL T^T

Not-so-fun fact: Wardia died when Gavin was 15, so this is the last birthday they spent together...

And MC not reading his letter back in Loveland High and leaving him waiting for hours hurts even more now because it probably reminded him of how he waited for his father to no avail

✈️ Spreading Wings Date: here

✈️ Support the cafe by dropping by the tip jar!

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #:)#:')

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ut-rsc · 3 years ago

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📖 FAQ 📖

📚 What is this event? The Undertale&Deltarune fics Reading Summer Camp 2023 is an event dedicated to reading and promoting fics in the Undertale and Deltarune fandoms. The goal is for participants to read as many fics as they can during the 2 months of summer, from July 1st to August 31st. Reading fics, doing certain actions like leaving a comment or making a rec post, or completing fun challenges will lead to winning rewards and prizes.

📚 Who’s in charge? [NEW!] Last year’s main host, mod Cognito, returns once again to host the event, but this time with a brand new team of mods to help her out!! Check out the team’s new members, Tomato, Skele and Solo, here!

📚 How can I participate? You just need to fill in and send the application form that will be available on June 25th (Sunday)! Then you will be able to join the event’s official discord server where the event will mainly take place. Please note that joining the server is only mandatory if you want to claim rewards or prizes. You can apply at any given point from June 25th to August 31st.

📚 What are the rewards and the prizes? [NEW!] The rewards will be 10 discord emoji of different UT characters. Everyone will be able to use these emojis in the server itself, but reaching a benchmark will earn you a higher resolution of these emojis, which you’ll be allowed to use in any other server you want! The 3 participants with the highest wordcount and the 3 participants with the most points at the end of the event will each receive a prize! These will be made by our 3 mods, Cognito, Redtomatofan and Soloshikigami! The 1st winner will be able to choose the mod they want, the 2nd winner will be able to pick between the 2 remaining mods, and the 3rd winner will get a prize from the remaining mod.

📚 Will we have to read specific fics? Will there be a mandatory list? You are free to read any fic you want as there is no mandatory list, however there will be an event’s official Fics List, with fics from voluntary writers. Reading those will give you more points than regular fics. There is no specific theme to the event, so you can read whatever catches your fancy, as long as it is a fanfiction in either the Undertale or Deltarune fandoms! You can read in any language you’re comfortable with, and read any type of fic (one-shots, long fics, extremely long fics, etc…) [NEW!] Reading from another fandom is no longer allowed. This specific event is here to promote fics in the Undertale and Deltarune fandoms, so while reading fics from any fandom is always encouraged, the main focus of this event will remain on UT and DR. Feel free to organize your own event for any other fandom! ♥

📚 I’m too busy to read fics over this summer but I’m a writer and I’d love for people to read my fics. Can I use this opportunity to promote my work? Yes!! In fact you are very welcome to send an application with a list of fics you’ve written that you would like people to read! Your fics will be added to the event’s Fics List that participants will be able to peruse. Reading a fic from that list will give more points so hopefully it will incite participants to show more love for your work! ♥ All the fics in the Fics List will need to be from voluntary writers. If you want to suggest a fic you love but that you didn’t write, there will be channels dedicated to that on discord. [NEW!] As a ‘voluntary’ writer, you no longer have to join the discord server to have your fics be featured in the Fics List (though you are more than welcome to join and read!). Instead, you will be able to apply via a different application form, which will be posted alongside the regular application form for participants. However, reblogging or retweeting about the event will be mandatory to be considered a voluntary writer, to help us spread the word about the event! More details coming soon.

📚 Keeping track of points and wordcount sounds very cumbersome. Do I really have to do it? In the grand scheme of things, no, you don’t have to do it. You can just spend the summer reading fic after fic. However it will be necessary to be able to claim rewards and prizes. A google spreadsheets will be available to help you keep track of your points/wordcount, so hopefully it won’t be too complicated. The spreadsheet will be self-explainatory, but if you’re still confused, there will be a step by step explaination on how to fill it in in the discord server.

📚 Hey, this participant likes [gross ship]! Remove them from the event immediately!! Nope. This kind of attitude is not welcome in the event in the slightest. If you have a problem with another participant’s tastes, then just keep your opinions to yourself and avoid them. There will be a 0 tolerance policy on abusive behavior, harrassment, racist remarks, kink-shaming, ship-shaming, misgendering on purpose and bullying of any kind. Mod Cognito and her team won’t hesitate to yeet people from the server if they cause trouble.

📚 What if I want to read fics that are not from the Undertale fandom? What about Deltarune? [NEW!] As stated above, reading fics from other fandoms isn’t allowed anymore to get either more points, or a higher wordcount. This event focuses on fics from the Undertale fandom specifically. Reading Deltarune fics is allowed and does count like reading a UT fic. Reading cross-over fics is also allowed.

📚 What if I just claim I’ve read like a billion words even if I haven’t, how will you check if it’s true? I don’t give a fuck about fics, I just want the prizes. Please don’t cheat, that will make mod Cognito cry as she worked very hard on preparing this event! ;-; That being said, when a participant claims they reached a benchmark and asks for their reward, she will check their google spreadsheet. She might even check randomly without warning! ;) (but seriously tho please DON’T CHEAT)

📚 I REALLY loved that fanfic I read during the event. Can I make fanart for it? OF COURSE!! I don’t think there is a writer out there who won’t enjoy fanart made for their fic!! Please know however that making fanart won’t give you any extra point. All the participants to the event are treated equally with the same chances to win, so whether you’re an artist, a writer, a content creator or just someone who likes to read fics, you will have the same chances to win a prize as your fellow participants. If you do make art for a fic though, please share it on the server and tag the writer if they’re a participant, so they know they are loved! ♥

📚 As a voluntary writer, what type of fics can I promote? First and foremost, they have to have been written by YOU (or with a co-author) and be in the Undertale or Deltarune fandoms (cross-over fics with another fandom are allowed). They can be of any type (one-shot, multichap, on-going, completed, abandonned…), rating (the list will be divided between gen and mature works), content (any character/ship, Reader insert, with OCs as long as it’s still Undertale-themed…)… As this event is here to help promote UT and DR fics, I don’t feel justified in imposing or refusing certain types of fic. Everything is game. [NEW!] Please note that you will only be able to promote up to 3 fics, so that the Fics List isn’t too long and overwhelming. I wouldn’t want 1 writer to promote 150 of their fics, resulting in no more space for smaller writers who just want their 1 or 2 fics to be promoted as well. Which fic you choose to promote is totally up to you, it can be your best work, your most underrated work, your newest work… Don’t send links to this blog directly!! Please wait for the applications to be open! And remember that voluntary writers will have to submit their fics through a different application form!

📚 Can I re-read a fic I’ve read in the past? What about during the event? And if I leave several comments on the same chapter, do I get more points? You can absolutely revisit an old favorite or re-read a previously started/read fic! You can also re-read the same fic several times during the event, however I very highly encourage you to read different works instead of always the same over and over. You can leave several comments on the same chapter (because who am I to stop you?) however you can only claim the points for this specific action once per chapter. You are allowed to receive the points if you comment again on a fic you’ve commented on before, as long as the comment is different enough from your previous one and has a purpose. Ie. commenting with ‘hey I’m reading this again’ won’t give you points, but writing 'hey I’m reading this again and just noticed XXX’ will.

📚 What if, as a writer, I have several AO3 accounts? Can I link more than 5 fics in the application? Yes you can. For example, if you have a SFW account and a NSFW one, you can link 3 of your SFW fics *and* 3 NSFW ones. As long as you make sure they’re all from the Undertale or Deltarune fandoms and you wrote them, it’s okay. Please don’t abuse the system though. Creating a new account and reposting your own work just to promote more of your fics is stupid, and you will be banned from the event if you do that.

📖 This FAQ is subject to updates 📖

#UT-rsc #Undertale fics Reading Summer Camp #announcement #FAQ

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bookishofalder · 4 years ago

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Night Changes [One]

Night Changes Series Masterlist

Summary: It may have been years since Poe and the reader have seen one another, but that doesn’t make the emotional upheaval any easier to navigate for either of them.

Warnings: Fuck ton of angst, language, a lot of feelings, mentions of death and loss, grief. WC-5,780 (Jesus buckle up I guess!)

Poe was dreaming.

Nothing particularly special, but it was a dream nonetheless, a break from the usual nightmares that tended to invade his sleeping mind night after night when all he wanted was to succumb to the darkness for a few hours. The dream was more of a memory, a replaying of a night back on Yavin-4 so many years ago before he and Charlie had gone to flight school.

A night like every other, yet the humid evenings on Yavin 4 always did seem to hold a little mystery, like a warm blanket that wrapped one in a false sense of security; he could do anything. And on that evening, he had snuck some of his father’s good whiskey, the stuff from a planet far, far away, and gone to knock on Charlie’s window in the cover of darkness. It wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence, though the whiskey was a new addition.

Charlie had answered immediately, a big grin stretching across his face even before he saw what Poe had brought, the relief in that grin piquing his curiosity-why did he seem grateful that Poe was there? When he climbed through the window, he found you were already there, sat on the floor across the small bedroom with your back against the end of Charlie’s bed, your face wet with tears and he understood your brothers reaction.

Before Poe could ask what was wrong, Charlie noticed the bottle in Poe’s hands and tapped it excitedly, “Just what we needed! How do you do it, brother?” His voice was always so loud, but in the Horn household it wasn’t an issue. Your mother was asleep on the other side of the house and even if she did wake, she wouldn’t come in and begrudge a little teen rebellion. Poe really liked her for that, for trusting them, for never making him feel unwelcome.

“Didn’t realize it would come in so handy. What's going on, sweetheart?” The affectionate nickname had been around for years, so long now that he hardly noticed himself using it. He liked the way it tugged the corners of your lips up, even when you were sad. But he didn’t like that you were sad right now, his concern only growing when you pulled your knees to your chest and dropped your head to them, hiding your face and, no doubt, a fresh wave of tears.

You had always hated crying in front of them, for some reason. Charlie never cried, but Poe had no issues with sobbing outright in front of you both. He didn’t understand why you felt you had to hide it from him.

Without speaking, Charlie and Poe sat down on either side of you, your brother taking the whiskey and opening it, taking a small swig and huffing through the smoky burn.“Kid, you tell him.” He used that extra soft voice reserved only for you, his free hand reaching over to pat your foot on the ground next to him.

Poe had his shoulder pressed against yours. He knew you enjoyed how warm he always was, that you thought of him as your personal furnace, cuddling him even on warm days like this because you seemed to forever run a little chilly, or maybe you were just a touchy person and you were that comfortable with Poe.

After a few moments of quiet sniffling, you finally raised your head, setting your chin on your knees and staring straight ahead. “Gus ended things earlier.” You whispered into the moonlit room, your voice wavering somewhat with emotion, though Poe could sense it was more of embarrassment and disappointment of being dumped than that of actual heartbreak.

Poe felt an odd mixture of both anger and relief sweep through him, the latter of which he resolutely shoved away, into the far reaches of his mind to be stubbornly ignored. “That kriffing asshole! Who does he think he is, dumping our girl?” And truly, what the fuck audacity did that guy have? Did he not have eyes? Did he not spend just five minutes with you and feel like he was sitting in the company of a Sun, so bright and warm as you were?

You gave a watery laugh at his words, and Poe felt warmth pool in his chest; he was always good at making you laugh. He saw Charlie’s shoulders sag somewhat with relief upon hearing you, always so protective and yet he had difficulty reigning in some of your big emotions, often looking to Poe for his help.

“He said it was because I’m a prude. Because I wouldn’t, you know,” You broke off, and Poe glanced down at you to see you bite your lip briefly, eyes still forward, “He said there was no point going on dates if I wouldn’t even give him the chance to, and I quote, ‘appreciate your tits properly, at the least.’”

Poe turned to face you fully now, his eyes meeting Charlies over your head. His friend looked just as annoyed as Poe felt, hearing what that skinny piece of shit had dared to say to you. A silent agreement crossed between them then, Gus would be meeting their fists come morning. For now, though, Poe focused on you, tossing an arm around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your hair, “He’s a prize fucking idiot, sweetheart, doesn’t know what he’s losing. Right, Charlie?”

“Exactly. Remember kid, no guy is ever going to deserve you because you are perfect. You don’t need to cry over someone who can’t see how lucky he is you even let him breathe the same air as you,” Charlie added his arm to your shoulders, curving under Poe’s, “Flyboy and I will take care of you, always.” He promised, and you nodded before reaching both hands up to grab each of theirs on your shoulders.

“Thank you.”

And Poe stayed the night, each of you taking turns to sip the whiskey until eventually sleep won out and Charlie crashed on his bed. You and Poe curled up on some pillows on the floor together, your head resting on his chest and even though he knew you were sad, which made him sad too, he couldn’t help but feel truly whole in those moments before sleep took over.

It was a good memory, one which he would have been content to remain in until the abrupt and incessant whirring and beeping of his droid woke him, Poe shooting up in his bed with a shout of surprise. “What? Are we being attacked?”

BB8 came to a stop near the edge of his bed, his noises growing quieter now that he’d woken Poe up.

“Buddy, it’s my day off. You better have a good reason for scaring the living hell out of me-“

The droid beeped again, clarifying his reason for interrupting his rest day. Interest piqued, Poe ran a hand over his face before planting his feet on the floor and leaning towards the droid.

“The new replacement is here? Guess that means the General wants me to come and meet them?”

BB8 confirmed, and now his alarming wake-up made more sense. The droid was as excited as Poe to meet his new second in command. He’d just lost his long-time friend, Jess Pava, to a new unit on an outpost for the Resistance. He’d recommended her for it, at her bequest, because he knew she’d be damn good for the role. But it didn’t make the loss any less disruptive; she’d been gone a few weeks now and he’d had to take on extra duties to compensate.

General Organa had profusely apologized to him a few times now, only explaining that the replacement was due back from a classified mission ‘soon’, and once they were they would be coming straight to D’Qar to join his squadron. He didn’t mind the work, but he was a little miffed that the day the new Major arrived was his only day off.

Poe quickly got himself ready for the day, taking a speedy shower in his fresher before pulling on his khaki’s and button up. Once pleased with his appearance, he stepped out of the fresher and walked toward his small desk area, above which he had a corkboard with a few mementos pinned up, including his favourite picture.

You were standing in the middle, sandwiched between him and Charlie, a big, goofy grin on your face. Charlie was laughing in the photo, and Poe was looking down at you with a fond smile. You all wore flight suits, as it was taking when you had first joined Gold Squadron. Charlie had his arm flung over your shoulders while Poe’s was snaked around your waist. You had your arms wrapped around each of their waists, though Poe remembers how your hand had brushed up his back before the picture was taken, fingers unknowingly leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

He looked at this photo every morning, tapped it once and then carried on with his day. It was the only time he allowed his conscious mind to think of Charlie, of you, and the life he lost in the blink of an eye.

When the door to his quarters opened, Poe saw a few service droids unloading a couple of crates into the room directly across from his. The room where the new member of his team would live. He could see within the unit as the door was open for the droids to carry items in, a few cases already inside the otherwise bare space.

Being careful to step around the droids and avoid falling over his own, who was wheeling excitedly along next to Poe, he made his way to command, hoping the introductions wouldn’t take too long. He had woken up with a big appetite.

And he really needed his morning caf.

“Ready to meet them, buddy?” He asked of his droid, and BB8 gave a happy little ‘weeee’ as he zoomed along beside Poe. He laughed loudly and BB8 pulled ahead, the doors of the command room opening at their approach.

Poe could see into the room now, activity within quiet enough that General Organa and the new arrival both heard his laughter and turned as he walked into the room. For a few beats, Poe kept walking, his mind not processing what he was seeing because it simply could not be. And then he froze, mid-stride.

It was you.

And from the patch on your uniform, it was now Major Horn.

And just like that, every emotion, every feeling of guilt and self-hatred and heartbreak came roaring to the surface, breaking through the walls he’d so carefully built up around what he’d done when he lost Charlie, when he’d lost you, walls he spent the last few years reinforcing as best he could.

Leia knew of the history, though she didn’t know any details of why neither of you had spoken since that terrible fucking night. She simply knew you’d all grown up together, which was probably why she hadn’t felt the need to warn Poe that it was you coming to take over as his second in command. Maybe she thought you had kept in touch and were expecting her.

Stars, Poe hadn’t seen you in person since the funeral. The night he ruined the best thing he had in his life because he couldn’t deal with his grief and took it all out on you, of all people. Poe thought of Charlie then because your brother and you looked a bit alike, but it was your eyes; you each had the exact same eyes. Though yours were lined with thick, long lashes that would sometimes tickle Poe’s cheeks when you would lean in and press a chaste kiss to them.

It had only been a few years, but so much about you had changed. Gone was the goofy girl with braids falling past her shoulders, her big smile that stretched from ear to ear. No, now Poe was looking at you and you were all grown up, wearing your uniform, hair pulled back into a low bun that was woven with intricate braids, a few wisps framing your face. You had leaned out slightly, though you still had your curves, the ones that had boy after boy falling for you back in the day-no doubt now it was man after man. He found his eyes flicking from your face to your hands, but he saw no ring. Not that he should even be thinking of whether you were single or not.

But somehow, it felt like he should know if you were with someone. Because Charlie would have expected Poe to always keep an eye on you, be there for you. The only person he let down more than Charlie was you. He knew his best friend would murder him if he knew the things Poe had said to you that night. He had never known a greater regret, a regret that he carried with him since the moment he spoke and watched your face contort in pain, as though he’d hit you with a physical blow.

He had wanted to apologize, to take it all back that very moment. He couldn’t believe himself, but you’d pull away to be sick and he was so shocked at how much he’d managed to hurt you that he couldn’t do anything other than listen to you when you ordered him to get away from you.

The irony of that wasn’t lost on him, either.

He’d walked straight to the hangar where his x-wing was parked and took it out, finding a secluded spot a few hours away to camp for two days, just to clear his head. He cried and grieved and then he realized just how badly he’d fucked up and he panicked. He started to plan how he would apologize, what he would do to earn your forgiveness and then tell you how he truly felt. But he failed you, hurt you, and he knew he had a lot of work ahead to repair what he’d broken.

Only, when he came back to base and sought you out, he instead found Jess and Tommy waiting for him by your room, their faces so grim his heart had stopped in his chest, and he’s not sure it ever restarted once he found out you’d left. Without a word or a note, you had just...deserted him.

And he knew he deserved it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Nor did finding out that you’d been clever enough to have your new assignment sealed, eliminating any chance he could have had of going after you.

And he would have. He’d have flown across the galaxy to find you.

Instead, Poe was alone and never, ever forgave himself for being the reason you had fled in the first place.

Eventually, Poe grew enough in rank that he was able to access your private files. He only did so now and again, just to check-in and make sure you were still alive and on active duty. The last time he’d checked had been about five months ago, and it had stated you were on a classified mission that even he couldn’t access the details of. But he knew you were alive and doing well enough that you were getting assigned seriously high-class missions. Charlie would have been so proud of you.

It was a few awkward moments before Poe was able to function, quickly shaking off his shock and continuing forward, his eyes tearing away from your too-blank expression to meet the warm gaze of General Organa. “Commander Dameron, I believe you know Major Horn here. Thank you for coming to greet her with me this morning.” Leia smiled between him and you, and Poe had to swallow before returning it, breaking out his usual grin.

When he looked back at you, he found your blank expression had now morphed into one of utter contempt. An insane part of him wanted to laugh, because how could (y/n) Horn, his best friend since he was a boy, the girl who had owned his heart, ever look at him like that?

Instead, Poe forced a friendly smile, nodding to you politely, “Welcome, Major. It’s...it’s good to see you. And congratulations on your promotion. I’m happy to have you join our team.” He stuck his hand out and hoped you would grasp it.

Your eyes, so much more intense than he ever remembered, searched his face for a second before you took his proffered hand and shook, a small smile appearing on your lips.

“It’s an honour to be here, Commander.” You replied, and Poe had to blink, pulling his hand way almost too quickly. Stars, you even sounded more grown-up. Your voice had always been a little breathy, which Poe had always found alluring. But now it had matured, the breathless way you spoke now demure, feminine.

“I was just telling Major Horn that after you two had met the day was open,” Leia said, seemingly unaware of the tension between her two best pilots, “I know you earned this day off, Commander, so enjoy it!”

Poe couldn’t help but give her a wide grin, “Thank you, General.”

“Yes, thank you for taking the time to...reunite us, General.” You said, excusing yourself before abruptly walking past Poe and out of command.

He rushed after you, BB8 still at his side, now beeping in confusion at what the hell was going on. Poe ignored the droid, catching up to you just down the hall. “Wait...(y/n)...”

He trailed off, unsure of what he could even say to you, questioning why he’d stopped your departure. You ceased walking and turned to look at Poe, your expression now openly hostile, which he knew he deserved yet it still stung. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as he stood before you, a huge part of him wishing you’d start yelling at him. Or hitting him.

Instead, you gazed up at Poe and after a moment your face fell, a storm of emotions rolling across your pretty features. You took a careful, measured step back from him, as if afraid he might try and reach out to you. “I didn’t know I was coming here to be on your team,” You didn’t meet his eyes when you spoke, instead focusing on the droid at his feet, “But this is a big opportunity for me, so we’ll make it work.”

You sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than Poe, but he nodded all the same. “Of course. And you deserve it.”

You scoffed, “Thanks so much, Commander.”

“I’ve missed you.”

He didn’t know what possessed him to say that. It was just that one moment you were biting your lip, and then the next you were giving him a familiar look of incredulity that he remembered receiving more than once growing up and he suddenly needed you to hear that he did miss you. Missed you more than you could ever really know.

Poe saw a flash in your eyes before you spun on your heels and marched away, not looking back. He didn’t try to follow you again. He knew there wasn’t a whole lot he could say, not right now when you were both still reeling from the shock of seeing one another again.

And what could he even say to you? Sorry for taking our friendship and smashing it to pieces at the worst possible time? For never speaking to you again because I was too cowardly to try and find you, especially once I realized how deeply I felt for you? And how could he explain how those feelings seemed to develop over such a long time that he didn’t recognize them for what they truly were until you were gone?

Charlie would have hated what had happened between you both. He would have killed Poe, easily, but he’d had also been disappointed in you. Charlie had protected you both that day because you and Poe were his family, and if he found out that his family never spoke again after the funeral? He’d have been livid.

Guilt and regret now at the forefront of his mind, Poe had lost his appetite. Instead, he found the nearest caf machine before hurrying to the flight deck and climbing in his x-wing eager to get off the ground and clear his head for a few hours.

He spent the rest of the morning thinking about Charlie, his heart tight in his chest.

✨

“I’ve missed you.”

You could hit him, you really could. No one was around, either, you might get away with it. But that would be too easy and not nearly as satisfying as you might hope, you knew.

The audacity of Poe fucking Dameron saying he missed you was so infuriating, you briefly considered violence. But you had grown up with him, knew the way he worked even if it had been a few years. You could hate him and still understand him, which meant that he wanted you to give him a strong reaction that he could confront head-on. Scream and punch and cry and he would instantly work to comfort, to apologize, but it was really just a way to make himself feel better.

You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

You spun away-not before seeing the pained expression cross his face-and hurried off. You figured if you still had such a decent read on him, the same went for Poe. He’d always been able to read you, your body language, expressions, hell Charlie usually went to Poe for help when he couldn’t figure out how to support you, comfort you.

You needed some time alone, time to process and figure out the best way to make this work.

When you were invited by the General herself to come to D’Qar, to work under her ‘top pilot and most trusted Commander’, you hadn't blinked before saying yes. And you’d known that it would mean, inevitably, seeing Poe again-you knew he still worked here. But you’d had no idea until he walked into command that morning that it was his team you were joining.

When you’d been standing with General Organa in the control room, chatting amicably about the weather, the very last thing you’d expected to hear was his booming, rich laugh. And then the doors had opened, a small droid whizzing in, and his laughter continued as he stepped into the room. You had thought you might pass out, throw up, or start screaming.

With no idea what he was doing there, you had simply stared at him, watched as he reacted to seeing you. Actively working to keep your expression blank, you stared at your once best friend for the first time in years, going numb inside.

In some ways it had been almost comical; he’d frozen mid-step and gaped at you stupidly for a few beats before coming to his senses and continuing forward. And it was at that moment you had realized he was the superior you were meeting. He was the Commander you’d be working under. When he stood directly in front of you, your mind betrayed you by immediately zoning in on one specific thought.

But stars, he’d aged well.

When he finally was able to collect himself enough to wipe the surprise off of his face, it had settled into that easy smile you remembered so well. The one you tried to never think of because of the pain that would build in your chest, the memories and feelings that you had refused to look back on for a very long time now at risk of bursting through your mental walls if you weren’t careful.

Now, that smile revealed a slight crinkling around his eyes, though he hadn’t changed much beyond that. He was just as broad and lean as you remembered, just as handsome and you thought he might be a little more built up, a new layer of muscle moving under his button-up. Charlie would have loved to tease him over the grey flecks you could barely discern in his raven locks, and you suddenly wondered if your brother would have had any grey hair himself.

Those thoughts were fleeting at that moment before fury and sadness and longing were suddenly overtaking you and it was all you could do to remain composed in front of the General when, for the first time in years, you wanted to crumble to the ground. That fucking grin of his, it was always maddening, always so attractive and disarming.

When you were kids, he’d do it to get away with something and even though your parents knew he’d done it, it would work and he’d barely get a slap on the wrist. As teenagers, the strongest memory you had of that grin was one time when he’d climbed into Charlie’s room late at night and your brother wasn’t there-he’d fallen asleep on the couch-so Poe wandered to your room.

You had just gotten out of the fresher, having taken a quick rinse off to cool down, and hadn’t shut the door. Your bedroom door was closed and it was the middle of the night; you hadn’t expected any company. And then Poe just sauntered in, his eyes on your bed where he doubtless thought he’d find you. You had barely had time to freeze, completely naked and mid-stride as you sought a clean nightgown when he seemed to sense you. His head had jerked in your direction in surprise.

That memory forever burned into your mind. The way his eyes had fallen, then snapped up to your face and instead of seeing amusement or a pervy smirk, Poe had slapped his hands over his eyes, cursed, apologized vehemently in a loud whisper, and then he grinned. That grin, just as powerful even though his eyes were covered. It spread across his face and you couldn’t help but laugh despite your embarrassment, quickly throwing on a nightgown before walking over and punching him in the sides a few times, hissing didn’t he know how to knock?

And though you worried it might affect things between you and your best friend, it never did seem to. For you, it did in some ways because you couldn’t seem to get the look on his face (the one that slipped out just before he could properly react and compose himself) out of your head and you wondered what it meant-if anything. He still stayed the night, climbing into your bed, his arms casually behind his head as he laid next to you and told you about his day while never once teasing you.

At one point, when sleep was close, eyes drooping and your cheek resting against his arm, Poe’s soft voice had pulled you from unconsciousness. Barely a whisper, he said, “I really am sorry I came in without knocking, sweetheart. Please forgive me.”

And he’d sounded so concerned, so genuinely stressed that you would be mad at him, you had snuggled closer into his side and murmured your reassurances until eventually, you fell asleep.

Today, however, it was only memories of what that smile used to mean to you and anger for what it was now. That he got to keep that easy fucking grin all these years, it only pissed you off. The logical part of you knew he had been just as surprised to see you and was no doubt struggling himself now, but you didn’t have room to care.

He had been the one to break you, to take your friendship and pulverize it by saying the worst possible things to you.

He had broken you.

That fight hadn’t just been the loss of what you had thought was the greatest friendship in the galaxy. It had been the final moment that took your life from carefree and fun to what it was now, what it had been since. Joyless, lacking, lonely-so fucking lonely.

That had been the night you had to grow up, realizing that not only was Charlie gone, but the life you’d had was too. Gone were the days of adventure, of going on test flights and racing one another, of Poe getting you drinks at the cantina and Charlie sitting with his arm slung casually over your shoulders, until any of you spotted someone who caught your interest. Someone who would only be around for the night but would bring a little pleasure and escape. Charlie was more often the one to go home with such a person, happy to play the field and often making new friends you’d see again, even though he never exclusively dated them.

And the little flare of excitement you’d get each time it was just you and Poe? That had been carefree too because whatever it meant didn’t need to be examined, it just was. Casual touches that lingered and sent heat up your spine, easy and flowing conversation, long hugs even when you’d see each other the next day. All of that had been such a prominent fixture in your life, the slow escalation between you and Poe was something that, to this day, you never tried to understand.

But then Charlie died; everything changed, and you left and never looked back. All the while, Poe Dameron kept grinning like that. Fuck, fuck!

You almost walked straight past your new room, so lost in your thoughts and memories, but thankfully a passing droid greeting you politely pulled to the moment, and you only had to retrace a few steps back. Immense relief washed over you the moment you saw that all of your items had been delivered and unpacked, only a box of mementos and photos left on your desk for you to find new homes for.

Even the bed had been made already. And as much as you wanted to just climb under the covers and shut the world away, you instead set yourself to the task of putting the final touches on your space.

The room was silent save for your occasional gasps and hiccups as you let your emotions run free in the privacy. You proudly displayed the plaque you had been given from the Resistance following Charlie’s funeral; a handsome photo of him in uniform set in the middle, his name inscribed along with his rank, years of life and final resting place on Yavin-4. His flight suit patch was attached to the plaque above the photo, the final touch to a beautiful little tribute to Charlie that you could take with you wherever in the galaxy you went.

The final item you pulled out was a small protective album for photos you displayed in your room. You pulled out the photos, ones of you and Charlie as kids, of your parents, of the whole family plus Poe during one hilariously disastrous little vacation that resulted in all of you returning home and ignoring one another for three days, even Poe. A few from your teen years, early and late, Poe and Charlie usually taking up the most space in the photos between their sizes and huge smiles, and the final photo you had was your absolute favourite.

Smushed between Charlie and Poe, you had a smile on your face that hadn’t been seen in years. It was silly, girlish and youthful and not the person you were anymore. You were looking at the camera, Charlie with his big arm over the top of your shoulders, laughing as he looked toward the camera as well. Poe was looking at you. Giving you a warm smile that you always suspected he only shared with you, one that melted his eyes to pools of warm honey and made your insides wriggle. You remember how his hand burned where he gripped your waist, and you had instinctively traced your hand up his spine in the moment, though you never understood why.

That photo both broke your heart and made you smile every time you looked at it. The last photo of the three of you together, the three of you happy. A photo that not only showed your love for one another but also hinted at that feeling you never did examine. A photo that revealed that feeling might not have been one-sided, not at all.

When you finished your tidying, you took a seat at your desk and used your data pad to pull up your schedule, curious what the days ahead would look like. Right away you could see no missions in the queue, though that could change in an instant. And as eager as you were to get flying, you knew it would probably be best to spend the next couple of days trying to establish yourself on base, meet the rest of your team, and figure out how you were going to keep a cool head spending so much time working with Poe.

With a heavy sigh, you glanced at the clock and decided a late lunch was in order, hopeful that the weird hour would leave the caf quiet. Although you knew you’d be recognized you did hope to push that off for as long as possible.

You needed to swallow back your feelings and face the fact that you weren’t just working directly for General Leia. You were back on D’Qar; a planet that Charlie had spent enough time on, even before you joined Gold Squadron, to make lasting friendships and leave an incredible reputation behind after he’d died. You hadn’t been back since the funeral, so it was inevitable that others would be bringing him up, asking after you, where you had disappeared to, why you’d left without saying goodbye to pretty much everyone.

You needed to suck it up because you had a job to do and your work for the Resistance was the only thing anymore that made your life worthwhile. No family, no close friends, no partners, just fighting the fight and being the best damn pilot you could be.

You wondered if Charlie would be proud of you. Of how far you’d come, of the fact that you were now the same rank as he had been before his death. But after seeing Poe today you knew that wouldn’t have entirely been the case, not with how things all ended up.

So, you reasoned with yourself, that meant that you had to work extra hard here on D’Qar to push aside the history between you and your Commander. And actually, indifference and coldness were probably going to be your best assets going forward.

At least you had a game plan.

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nobodyfamousposts · 5 years ago

Text

Mominette AU: The Superhero Ban

TRIGGER WARNING!

___________________________________________

It was an indisputable fact that Paris had been the first city to institute the infamous “Supers Ban”. The Justice League knew it. Heroes knew it. Villains knew it. The whole world knew it.

What nobody knew was “why”.

Sure, there had been comments in political circles. Some minor news outlets had mentioned Paris as the latest place where the idea was being considered. But nobody had thought they were serious.

Not until it had been made into law and the Mayor of Paris held a press conference to announce it.

Those who didn’t take it seriously certainly did when Superman himself attempted to go to the Mayor to discuss the matter. And was promptly arrested the instant he set foot in the city.

Outrage was immediate. Cries of discrimination rang out across the world and even at the UN. Various politicians decried the act. Many celebrities admonished it. A good number of people threatened to boycott Paris (which turned out to be for the best as far as Andre and most of Paris was concerned, given that a decrease in tourism meant less people for Hawk Moth to target or the heroes to have to pull out of the fray due to gawking).

Yet a year passed and the ban remained. Even the League would not cross it. Eventually, it just became an accepted fact of the world. Everyone knew to stay out of Paris.

And yet it was still unknown as to why.

Well, people suspected, of course. There were other things happening around the time that seemed to be involved.

It possibly started with the 12 hour timeframe where all of Paris had been closed off. Its citizens had been forced to evacuate. All communication lines were down, and no one from outside of the city had been able to contact anyone from within it. It was news stations in nearby cities that picked up on the fighting and tried to report it, but only several hours after it had started and they seemed to play it off as some sort of freak lighting storm.

Afterwards, things had been strange, but also easily overlooked. The Ladyblogger had gone dark for a several day period. Similarly, the regular correspondent for Paris News, Nadja Chamack had taken a leave of absence. Resident hero Chat Noir had suddenly gotten involved in matters with City Hall, resulting in talk of the hero going into a career in politics. “Chat Noir for President” became a short-lived meme.

It all appeared to come down to a specific “incident”. An akuma fight worse than any other before it. But no one would speak of it. And no information about it was available.

Except for one thing.

There were reports of the existence of video footage of the fight. The Ladyblog had supposedly crashed during a livestream of the mess due to the number of people watching it. Plenty of news reports during that time referenced it. It was rumored to have been played before the city council, resulting in unanimous support of the ban. But what was on the video remained a mystery and any remnant of the video itself couldn’t be found.

Which shouldn’t be possible with the internet. Conspiracy theories abound on the matter—some saying there was no footage in the first place and others saying it was so horrible as to have been erased by time traveling aliens.

In truth, it was the work of a hacker. One of considerable skill to wipe out any trace of this video and not be discovered. There were people willing to pay millions just for a segment of the footage. Plenty of hackers across the world had tested their skills to find even a trace of the original video to no avail.

These other hackers were not Robin.

“I got the footage.” He announced as he held up the USB drive.

Superbly started in surprise, staring at the item in the Boy Wonder’s hand. “This is it?”

“Supposedly.” Robin replied with a shrug.

The Holy Grail of hidden data. A hacker’s ultimate prize. Every journalist and tabloid reporter’s wet dream.

“I haven’t watched it myself,” as he felt it wasn’t his right to intrude on this when it was an issue of his friend’s family, “so I don’t know what’s on there. But whatever’s in this, it’s safe to say it isn’t going to be pretty.”

That was putting it lightly. The video had been so deeply hidden that it was its own urban legend at this point. The incident it showed was bad enough to not only warrant it being hidden from the world, but to set off the “Paris Supers Ban” and arrest of Superman.

The death of a hero was always big news. Even if it’s only barely avoided.

The fact that anyone could HIDE it spoke volumes. Both in regards to the original censor’s ability as well as the importance of the data itself.

Conner nodded, resolute.

“I need to know.”

Robin handed over the device. He probably should have taken it to Batman…probably. But this was Conner’s case. His family. It was his right to decide what to do with the information.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were…accepting of Conner to say the least. They allowed him to enter Paris despite the ban. They let him help. They were kind and accommodating and quite frankly everything that Conner needed.

But…they weren’t exactly open. Not about certain things.

This was one of those things, and Conner had been wanting answers about the “Incident” that cut Paris off from the Superhero world. What made them finally say “enough”? He would ask, but nobody knew. The few who did know refused to speak of it.

Conner wanted to know why. What had they experienced that was so horrible?

Maybe it was a way of feeling closer to them?

Maybe it was a way to understand them better?

Maybe it was just wanting to see the harder things they had faced?

“We’ll be right here with you, Conner.” Wally reassured him when his hands started to shake.

“Remember, you’ll have full access of the gym and training grounds, but you won’t be allowed to leave the Mountain for 24 hours after this.” Kaldur gently stated. Partly to remind Conner of the agreement, lest he attempt to run off to Paris in anger or fear and risk an akuma. Partly to subtly prompt everyone else to ensure that Conner does not accomplish the former.

Still…the choice was already clear.

Conner put the drive into the computer and pressed play.

The video only lasted a few minutes.

A few minutes was more than enough.

_______________________

“Oh…oh my god.” Came the words of the person recording, her voice as shaky as her hands that held the camera.

The damage was…extensive. Rubble, broken glass, and downed buildings littered the background. There was a sad mix of gray and brown as far as the eye could see. Of the destroyed roads and pavement. Of steel beams littering the ground. Of rock and dirt and what may very well have been ash.

Amidst the ruined landscape, there was one spot of color. A bright red standing out amidst the muted neutral around her. Normally a source of bravery and inspiration, it took a few seconds for the camera to get her properly in focus, and a few more for it to register that there was significantly more red in the scene than there should have been.

Ladybug wasn’t standing so much as she was leaning backwards in a half-upright position. Forced to stay on her legs despite her clear lack of strength. The only thing holding her up were the very things responsible for her current state…three steel spikes that extended from the ground beneath her.

They were exiting her torso. One piercing the upper left part of her body, right close to her shoulder. One through her naval. And the third on the right side, for all purposes appearing to have hit a lung.

She was breathing, though it was clearly labored. She was constantly torn between some variation of taking a gasping breath in and crying it out. Her suit could protect her—it was supposed to protect her from anything, but even this was too much.

It was clear she couldn’t move. She had to remain there, impaled on steel. Both to limit her injuries as much as possible and just due to inability from the sheer pain she was in.

The camera was focused on her, though it was shaky at best. The person recording it could be heard muttering unintelligibly with some mention of a hospital and frequent repetition of “oh god” thrown in. Some noise could be heard in the background of someone sounding quite ill, which was understandable given the sight of their hero impaled and choking on her own blood.

Within a minute of the video starting, the crunching sound of boots running on glass and stones could be heard coming closer. The sound of panting grew louder as Chat Noir cleared a hill and entered into view, rushing and stumbling towards Ladybug while holding something in front of him.

The camera zoomed on him, bringing him into focus as he cleared the last hurdle.

“I’ve got it!” Chat exclaimed, racing back to her side with her yoyo in hand. “I’ve got it! It’s okay. It’s over. It’s over now. It’s finished. He’s done.”

“Sh…Ch…” Her head hung limply and her eyes were barely able to focus on him as he tried to get her to look at him without moving her too much.

“It—It’s okay! It’s going to be okay!” He whispered to her, so softly that the camera barely caught it. He was clearly panicked and trying desperately not to let it show. “We just need the Cure. If you cast the Cure, everything will be better, okay?”

She didn’t appear to be listening, though. And barely seemed aware of anything. “Ch-ck…Chaaa…”

The video zoomed in on them both. Ladybug dazed and bleeding out. Chat crying and trying not to break down completely.

“Please! I just need you to say the words! Say the words and you’ll be okay! Can you do that?”

“Huurrr…s…” She slurred, begging him without words for help.

“I know! I know! But you can fix it. C’mon, M’lady, please!”

“I…I cn…”

“Say the words. Just two words, okay?” He begged desperately, patting her cheek in an attempt to both soothe her and keep her attention on him. “Two words and then you can go to sleep, I promise.”

“Ch…a…”

“Just…just two words, that’s it! I’ll…I’ll even say them with you, okay?”

She winced. “Nn…”

She clearly wasn’t listening, but he was desperate and so started to try. “Miraculous—”

She sobbed.

“No, no. Listen to me, okay? Say it with me!” He ordered, forcing her to look at him. “Mi. Say it with me! Mi!”

“M…mi…”

“Racu!”

“ra…” Her gaze started to waver.

He shook her. “Cu!”

“…cu…lous…”

He gave a weak laugh. Even now she was ahead of him. “Ladybug.”

“La…laa-deee…”

He shook her again. “LADYBUG!”

“……b…u—gahck-ugh—" She was cut off by harsh coughing.

But it was enough.

Thank every god out there it was enough.

The Cure spilled out from the object she was holding, transforming into magical ladybugs that covered everything in their wake. Unfortunately, the casting of the Cure and incoming loveliness caused the person holding the camera to drop it, losing sight of the video and cutting the feed.

_______________________

The ringing of her phone got Marinette’s attention, drawing her away from the movie she was watching with Adrien and the Dolls.

“Hello?”

“Miss Ladybug.” Came the voice on the end. “This is Aqualad.”

She blinked in surprise. “Aqualad? Is everything okay?”

“Yes…just…” The sound of angry whispers could be heard on the other end. “Would you be able to come speak with Conner today?”

Marinette frowned at that. While she certainly enjoyed seeing Conner, that…didn’t sound like a good thing. If anything, it sounded like a plea. And the voices that sounded like an argument in the background only made it sound worse.

“Is everything okay?”

Adrien seemed to notice the concern in her voice as he had stopped paying attention to the movie to focus on her. In turn, Chaton was peeking over the couch at her, curious as to what was going on.

“No. We found a recording of something…personal to you. Conner saw it and now he’s rather upset. We think it might help if you were here.”

“WHAT?!” She exclaimed. This definitely got the attention of the other dolls, all of whom had abandoned the movie in favor of checking on their Mama.

Her eyes narrowed. Suddenly full Mom mode was on.

“Aqualad. Tell me right now what happened.”

And Kaldur caved immediately with only a small sigh.

“Robin found the video of the akumatized hero who attacked you and instigated the events leading to the Paris Ban.” He explained. “I apologize. We should have checked with you first, but at Conner’s request, we all watched it.”

Marinette sighed. “I thought that was buried.”

“We’re rather good at digging.” Robin’s voice could be heard on the other side of the line.

“Hang on. I’ll be right over.” She told them before hanging up.

“Marinette? What happened?” She turned to see Adrien standing before her, looking rather concerned. Picking up on her tension, he had stopped the movie. And sure enough, four little dolls stared up at her in worry.

She sighed. There was nothing else for it.

“Who wants to go on a trip?”

The Dolls perked up at that.

Adrien, however, noticed how tense she was.

“Mari?”

“They saw the tape.”

His eyes widened. “Oh.” He reached out to her, and without even thinking, she moved into his arms. He clutched her tightly, soothing her and himself. It was…not a pleasant thing to have to relive. That so-called “hero” had caused more damage than just that one day. And more than any of them had truly recovered from.

The dolls seemed to catch on to the atmosphere, because their excitement died down.

“It’ll be okay, Mari. Let’s just be there for him. And I’ll be here for you.”

She held him back just as tight.

“Together then?”

“Always.”

#ml fic #mominette #superhero ban #ml crossover #dc crossover #conner kent #robin #Young Justice #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #adrien agreste #chat noir #dolls au #trigger warning

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st-just · 3 years ago

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I'm being vague on the off chance you haven't read the latest chapter(s) of Practical Guide, but I want your opinions on the sudden discourse, at least on the Reddit, about "not enough foreshadowing" and the characters acting in or out of character in the last handful of chapters. Anything on your mind about it?

Okay having glanced at the reddit I...do not have the time to read all that. So basically guessing what the controversial bits were.

-Black getting himself killed totally tracked. He's been trying to get himself killed for Cat's character development since Liesse, and he's been willing to die to protect Alaya (from herself, if need be) since the word go.

-Cat's been building up the whole 'desires of the woman vs of the Queen' thing quite a lot. But jumping to being totally willing to kill Hakram and Black for the sake of vengeance and power politics was, uh, abrupt. Especially given how consistently she's chosen the Paragon option/desperately reached for diplomacy and compromise before now. (Good job on leaning into the Villainy, I guess? Just need to find a puppy to kick or a baby to eat, or something.)

-The resolution to Praes like, works? But yeah the first mention of the 'Throneless Years' was literally the chapter before. And that was just the name, not even any details.

-Given everything about Praesi political culture, and the fact that Chancellor is a name specifically associated with court intrigue and dirty politiking I'm, uh, not optimistic about this new constitution working out. (Given the distribution of political power, it also does absolutely fuck all to help anyone under the High Lord's authority.)

-That said I'm really pretty happy with the resolution to Praes compared to how the Bard was dealt with. Which is to say, written off in a page and a half as a hanging extension after the chapter's natural end point.

-And I mean, I'm the world's one and only intercessor stan, but really, she has absolutely never lived up to all the cheap heat and grand descriptions she's gotten. She's won on screen what, once? And that was getting a consolation prize. So to be fair trying to pull off a dignified exit before getting jumped and going out like a chump pretty much tracks.

-(I also don't really find 'Masego makes something that solves the problem off screen and we find out about it as it's used' especially compelling writing, tbh).

-I have so, so, so many questions about 'destroying all the Evil stories' means, how it's even supposed to work given the rest of the setting, and also how does that even work? Shouldn't all the villainous names just instantly poof into nonexistence, if there's no stories behind them?

...this probably comes off as more negative than is strictly warranted. I'm in a ranty frame of mind atm.

#reply #melancholy-in-andante #a practical guide to evil

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 3 years ago

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hellooo I come bearing numbers. if you like, would you answer 1, 19, 46, 49 & 50? there is never enough rambling.

Thanks for that! I'm glad some people somehow believe I have not already done enough rambling.

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

Honestly, it wasn’t one of my better ones overall. There was a massive pandemic and a friend of mine died (those two facts shouldn’t be related because the pandemic didn’t kill him, but grieving was harder when the memorial service had to be livestreamed and I couldn’t do much to come together with friends). But it’s had some good points. I have fallen in love with an amazing woman who is my girlfriend, something that still feels surreally good, and is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. So I’d say this has been a shit year overall but it’s high points have been very, very good.

19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

Well, my previous answer got pretty dark, so I’ll try to keep this one lighter. Put up a window air conditioner in my bedroom for the summer. I’ve never done that before, and I can’t stand the feeling of being too hot, but normally I just live with it. Not this year. That was definitely nice.

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

I didn’t make any particular New Year’s resolutions last year. What would be the point? I heard someone on the news the other day that while 2020 was defined by upheaval, 2021 was defined by stasis. Not much of anything got started or completed.

49. What do you wish for others for the coming year?

It sounds pretty contrite at this point, but after the two-year span this whole world has had, I do spend a lot of time hoping that the world as a whole finds its way to safety and calm.

50. What do you wish for yourself?

Someone asked me this one in a previous message, and I gave a depressing answer about wanting pre-pandemic life to come back. I’m going to answer it again, and try to be more upbeat this time. So I’ll say a few things that occurred to me while I was watching the latest season of Taskmaster.

I want to fly to England, and go directly from the airport to a pub where I find Desiree Burch. This is a sufficiently sordid pub as to look the other way when its patrons are clearly playing drinking games. We have a beer chugging competition, I find out if I can do better than the masterclass she showed in that s12e10 task in which they had to drink with their mouth open and she absolutely killed it. We spend some time comparing beer chugging abilities and laughing at how bad the rest of the field was at this, then we just sit around all night talking shit about all the British expressions that don’t make sense. I come out of this night with a new best friend.

The next night, I go to a nicer, classier pub, where I meet Alan Davies and Jo Brand. We drink some fancy whiskey together until we’re all too drunk to be in a classy pub. Then we leave that place, and proceed to tear up the town, just seeing where the night takes us, not going anywhere classy. We get in a fight with some guy outside and bite him on the ear. We throw our drinks on a racist. I come out of this night with two more best friends.

The next night, I… you know what? For this fantasy, I defer to the superior imagination of another. Whatever Morgana Robinson was picturing happening at VCM’s poker night with her new dinner jacket, I get to be part of that. I get to sit in on a poker night that involves Victoria Coren Mitchell doing exactly what Morgana Robinson wanted her to do when she gave her that jacket in that one prize task.

#tw: alcohol

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cateringisalie · 3 years ago

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My list of bearable Binal Bantasy VII tags is thinning...

But seriously. Being skeptical of Tifa’s narration of past events is not without merit. By the time the Lifestream scene rolls around she has been through three comas and some grevious injuries. The Lifestream scene is as revelatory for her as it is for Cloud.

The new assertion she was in any way actually friends with Cloud is not only in conflict with the OG’s portrayal but counter to Cloud’s development, her development, the growth of their relationship as adults and why (in general) people have them stay together post game.

Its unnecessary, frustrating and further damaging Tifa’s character who is spinning off further from who she was.

That Tifa and Cloud were not actually childhood friends does not mean they do not have a relationship in FFVII. It does not mean they cannot be together. Tifa “falling in love” with Cloud at the water-tower does not for a second make their later relationship any more meaningful.

All this new ship information does is make the relationship have longer longevity than previously assumed. As if whichever relationship has lasted longer is betterer and stronger. As if this should automatically undercut any other relationship Cloud or Tifa can possibly experience.

(in fact - and darkly cynically - this feels a lot more like enforcing that Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith operate in near exactly the same way. The pairs fall in love in record time (two years prior to the Nibelheim incident both times as far as I’m ware), the boys go missing and the girls never move on with their lives. I get the boys have gone missing without a shred of explanation or closure, but now for both of them people are willing to wipe out a quarter of their lives waiting. Teenagers are resilient you know? They will be inconsolable if this happened but they would bounce back a lot faster and cleaner than they would expect. The approval of the never moving on this is purely to keep the shipping uncomplicated. There can only be one pairing for Tifa, there can only be one pairing for Aerith. And if you think otherwise you’re wrong in canon. And who wants to write or read about a non-canon ship? Unless its yaoi/yuri in any case. I am so tired)

Childhood friends incidentally is not, however much some insist, a common trope of the series - unless you stretch it a fair amount and it encompasses a trivial number of the pairings. And none of the big ones (you know; Squall/Rinoa or Tidus/Yuna).

Could Tifa do with more backstory? Of course. Did Tifa’s mother deserve a name? Absolutely! But not like this. Not when Cloud helping round up cats in Remake is now tied to finding Tifa’s cat in a new authored backstory. This speaks again to the constant magpie-ing of existing imagery and moments from older parts of FFVII to feed the present. The retconning in of importance by changing the meaning of otherwise unimportant moments.

Tifa is not and never was under any obligation to like Cloud as a child. She did not bully him, but neither should she expected to involve him in anything she did. I understand the book has muddied this gloriously, but for what effect?

I mean, I know where the desperation to make Cloud and Tifa childhood friends stems from. I know why you want Cloud to have fallen in love with Tifa at like age 5 or something and for Tifa to fall in love with him at 13. And I rail against it all the time that its not necessary. Being first does not mean better.

Maybe I am old, cynical and exhausted, but I kind of like watching Cloud and Tifa grow closer in FFVII. I like watching Cloud and Aeris grow closer in FFVII. I like to experience these things where I can... experience them? I don’t like reading books which assert things in blunt statements that clarify exactly what the writer intended. I certainly don’t have the patience to wait for a later book to clarify what happened on-screen when I have drawn my own conclusions based on my preferences. Especially as this is all contributing to that continued sense that the OG is a smelly, badly designed embarrassment we would rather tiday away for the crime of being graphically inferior (never mind it was championed on its looks on release) and “goofy” (and apparently unable to run the gamut of emotions I remember from serious to comedy, to silly, to tragic, to pessimistic and quietly optimistic and moving).

I’m coming back to this point to stress it - I want to see the relationship growth. Remake gave me that for Aerith and Cloud even if the details aren’t to my taste. First meeting is awkward because hey, random stranger/Cloud is tired. Cloud gets involved and spends more time with Aerith. And the high-five thing is used as a clumsy/awkward/eh but clear metaphor for how their relationship develops over the course of their time together.

To the point that yes, it makes sense for Cloud to want to rescue her. Less sense for Elmyra and Tifa to be “Well they might not vivisect her” and then delay for two full chapters, but the whole thing flows.

And here’s where I get accused of being a fake fan: I don’t like how Cloud and Tifa’s relationship develops in Remake. Flirting. Tifa being mildly fazed by Cloud claiming its been five years. Scared when he almost kills Johnny. Maybe hurt depending on your resolution scene (hey podcast people! No Gold Saucer multiple dates because too expensive? How are there branched resolution scenes in Remake then?). But there isn’t growth. They seem to fit into each other’s lives without worry, bit of flirting, strange super-intense moments jammed into inappropriate sequences (the train roll, climbing the plate, Cloud remembering the promise unprompted, Tifa not actually engaged with Avalanche’s plans). There’s no sense anything has changed between them, the missed five years has done anything to them.

And I’m sure some would take this as proof of correctness. But... somehow Remake is better for realism despite a lot of new clumsy, but this relationship is not dinged for being implausible? No way does that five year gap not seriously impact any prior relationship to say nothing of developing from scratch.

See this was a neat thing about the OG; while Tifa seemed to have an edge over Aerith by knowing Cloud longer, he was in effect meeting them at the same point in his life and more or less starting from scratch with both. Both ships are valid, and even if Cloud is with Tifa come the end, it doesn’t mean he can’t have romantic feelings about both women.

Oh, but Nojima has changed his mind/always intended it this way. And? I can change my mind about liking what he’s written - and my patience and tolerance of Nojima has waned massively since 1997. To the point where his involvement invokes a pained groan from me.

Plus the hilarious attitude that this is from the same people who insisted “the OG will always be there, stop moaning about Remake”. Well guess what? I don’t like Remake and I don’t really want it around. The OG is better.

Yes, Tifa is under-served and sure, it could be clearer about shipping (but the apparent hostility to ambiguity and personal interpretation is deeply distressing. These things can mean something to you and don’t have to mean the same thing to everyone. Interpreting the romancs - again - not a competition).

BUT

I will take the OG version of Tifa where she believed in the cause, where she had friends (again, yes, the relationship between Tifa and the rest of Avalanche is not well depicted, but it was better than actively curtailing it), where she ran a bar THAT ACTUALLY OPENED AND SERVED CUSTOMERS, where she hated Shinra, where she didn’t know how to treat Cloud because she had only really talked to him once in her life and DESPITE THAT that they great closer and spent their last night before THE END OF THE WORLD together over the Remake.

Where Tifa is wary of Cloud for about 5 seconds, twice and then defaults to constant flirting. Where Cloud is near smothering Tifa every second they’re together and she doesn’t tell him to fuck off once. Where she’s allied with Avalanche but hates their methods (and the pacifists are in a shop around the corner and she is not with them because...?). Where she has some absurd contrived plot about medical bills and buying Seventh Heaven for Barret and Marlene.

Which would lead to a whole other rant titled “Marle is the Worst” but this has dragged on quite long enough.

But seriously; if you argue that we can’t hate Remake because OG is always there, then you have to stop applying Remake back to OG and using it as proof. Which is exactly why many people bemoaned the Remake at all. OG is one thing, Remake is another. I don’t care for the latter.

And I know if anyone does read all this it will be about the meanie Cleriths who diminish Tifa for no good reason. And yes, they are indeed acting in bad faith. But what makes you think for a second evidence will convince these people?

In particular, the argument has raged so long and always will because if people do not like a ship they will not accept it as canon (if they care about this as a factor) NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Literally. Look at Loki if you want the most recent example of this.

Canon is to many “what I want” and often does not tally with the general interpretation. And you know, if being “canon” or guessing right early wasn’t triumphed as such a vital thing, we might not get these really terrible and pointless arguments.

Canon is a prize but here’s the big secret: fandom - in general - does not care. FFVII is an excellent case example given Sefikura overwhelms the other ships (and I think AZGSC is close?). And that’s not canon. That’s not even in the ballpark of the Cloud/Tifa vs Cloud/Aerith arena (even give that the former is roughly twice the size of the latter, you already won, so please stop?). Canon is only important if you think its important - and you get some more official art of sequences you can gif. And maybe you get kissing/implied sex/marriage/kids, but most of all you get a smug sense of superiority. And the last is why I have no patience with this.

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