#there's lots of reasons to never touch the stuff or to take long breaks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

superprofesh · 5 months ago

Text

The Five Times Colt Seavers Almost Kisses You (and the One Time He Does) — Part 5

Pairing: Colt Seavers x reader

Description: The fifth time Colt Seavers almost kisses you — when you finally decide you've waited long enough to tell him what he means to you.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5.5k

Tag List: @strangedeerconnoisseur, @icantwaittoliveandlearn, @moonlightandstarshimmer, @chemococktailonthehouse, @1word (sending directly to the rest because Tumblr isn't cooperating)

Author’s Note: Things are heating up!!! As you can tell, this chapter is a bit longer, and I can promise you, it's got a lot of good stuff in it :D By far my favorite chapter to write so far. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have, and I appreciate all your kind words and support so much!!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A week after you’ve made an official friendship declaration with Colt Seavers, you’re back on the dim, grimy underground train station set, getting ready to watch him throw himself in front of a moving train.

At the moment, Colt is standing on the other side of the train tracks, and you’re watching him from a considerable distance across the set. You have every reason to be there — this is the set you’ve been working on day and night for the last month, after all — but you’re not the least bit worried about any of your props or decorations. All you care about is making sure Colt pulls off one of his most dangerous stunts yet.

It’s been a strange week for you. On one hand, you’re glad that Colt knows you have some feelings for him, and that your friendship has been able to carry on without becoming awkward. His sincere, unexpected apology only made your feelings stronger, but you’re trying to ignore that.

All the same, being “just friends” is the slowest, most excruciating torture you’ve ever known. For one whole week, Colt has not done a single thing that could be interpreted as overly flirtatious, just as he promised he wouldn’t so you could be spared the pain. No subtle touches, no saucy looks, no double-edged words. It’s kind of him, really.

It also hurts like a razorblade on a third-degree burn.

Still, it’s better than nothing. As long as you can have him in your life in some way, you’re satisfied to try to quell these overwhelming feelings that threaten to break free at any moment. You’re in love with him — you know that now if you never knew it before — but you just have to be content knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way. That you have to love him as you’d love a friend.

So here you are, being a supportive friend as he casts himself headfirst into a dangerous situation. This stunt involves standing in for the film’s star, Tom Ryder, whose character is supposed to be shackled to a railroad track directly in the path of a moving train, only to break free just in time. Colt’s job is to pretend to be shackled down and jump up in plenty of time to clear the path of the moving train, which is, to your great dismay, not a prop in the slightest.

As the camera crew makes their last arrangements to start filming this shot, Colt turns from fiddling with a handcuff prop to catch your eyes in the crowd that has gathered to watch. He smiles when he sees you, lifting a hand in greeting and throwing his trademark thumbs-up high above his head.

Your heart speeds up at the sight of Colt’s smile, and you wave back at him in what you hope is an encouraging manner.

“Hey, relax,” a female voice says in your ear. You turn to see Holly grinning at you as she walks back to the cameras that are already in position. “He’s done this kind of thing a million times.”

You cut your eyes at her with a smirk. “I’m not worried,” you insist.

Holly lifts both eyebrows and laughs at you, always able to read what you’re really thinking. You laugh with her, glad to feel the knot in your stomach loosening a little. Holly gives your hand a quick squeeze in encouragement before taking her place at the lead camera station.

When you look back at the set, Colt is already in position, crouched down on one knee with his hands behind his back. You know he’s not actually tied down, but even seeing the fake handcuffs almost makes you wish you hadn’t come to watch.

Elijah Gordon, the director, is shouting some instructions at the crew as they make their last-minute preparations. He’s already cued the train to start moving, as it takes nearly half a mile to get the desired speed for the shot.

“One minute, people!” Gordon bellows, situating himself on a camera dolly high enough that he can see the action below. “We’re doing this in one take, or we’re not doing it at all. Colt, remember I want it to look real!”

Colt grins up at Gordon, his face smeared with fake dirt and his teeth shining like a white band through the grime. “It is real, Gordon!”

Gordon gives a curt nod, then listens to a voice over the walkie-talkie. Though your mind is focused on watching Colt, you can’t help the creeping disdain that you always feel when it comes to Elijah Gordon. The man is a phenomenal director, but he’s also the most callous, self-centered, inconsiderate person you’ve ever known. Knowing Colt’s life is more or less in Gordon’s hands makes you feel queasy.

The train whistle pierces the echoey tunnel chamber, and Gordon lifts his megaphone to shout, “Roll cameras!”

You put both hands over your mouth, dreading having to watch the scene play out. Colt looks entirely confident where he kneels on the railroad track, but you can’t help wondering what he feels in moments like this. Does he get scared? Does he lose faith in his own abilities? Does he ever doubt that the stunt will work perfectly? Can he afford to think like that?

A second train whistle stabs your ears, and you can feel your heart beating faster than ever before. You feel like you’re the one lingering on the tracks.

You can see the train now, and your eyes flit back to Colt, whose face is mostly hidden by the bandanna tied around his forehead. His muscles are tensed, ready to spring away at the perfect second. Gordon is shouting directions, his voice barely audible above the racket of the approaching train. He holds up his hand high in the air, signaling to Colt to stay in position.

The train eats up another hundred feet. Two hundred. Three hundred. Five hundred. Gordon’s hand doesn’t budge, and Colt keeps his eyes on the director for his cue to move.

You can hear your heartbeat hammering in your ears, and it takes all your willpower not to screw your eyes shut. You keep them open as if caught in a trance, bouncing back and forth between Colt and the train as if you’re watching a tennis match.

The train rumbles closer and closer, now near enough that you can see the face of the man driving the engine. You hold your breath, waiting for Gordon to throw his hand down in a signal to Colt.

But Gordon’s hand doesn’t move. Another screeching whistle. The train is less than a hundred yards away now.

You know he should have given Colt the signal by now — you were there for the days of blocking and planning that went into this scene. Suddenly your lungs constrict as you realize Gordon is pushing Colt for a few more seconds on the tracks, long enough to make the film audiences gasp.

“Stop!” you scream at the top of your lungs, but your voice is drowned out by the roar of the train. Your feet are carrying you in a sprint before you even register your own movement. Two hundred feet away now.

“Gordon, stop it!” The director can’t hear you, but Holly does, whirling around and grabbing you by both arms to stop you from getting any closer to the set. You can see Colt’s eyes get wider as he realizes that Gordon isn’t lowering his arm.

Everything in your entire being is shuddering, wanting to shut down, wanting to scream, to explode into action, but Holly beckons for two other crew members to help hold you back. All you can do is watch as the train draws closer and Colt waits for Gordon’s signal. One hundred feet.

“Holly, make him stop!” you scream at your friend, whose distressed expression tells you you’re not alone in your confused panic.

At the last second, with the train less than fifty feet away, Gordon throws his hand down, and Colt is already in motion, somersaulting off the track and into the safety zone as the train — all forty tons of it — whizzes over the space that Colt occupied seconds ago.

Holly and her two crew members hold you back a second longer, and when the red light on the camera flickers off, you break past them and run as fast as you can onto the set. You can barely see where to step as you climb over the platform and down into the dingy, darkened train tunnel, tears blurring your vision and your pulse hammering in your ears.

Colt is leaning against the wall of the tunnel, his face as white as a ghost. Several crew members have already gathered around him, but you shove past them and throw your arms around his neck, uncaring of what anyone might think. You can feel Colt trembling in your arms even as his easygoing voice whispers in your ear, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Once you’re satisfied that he really is alive, you pull back, framing his face in your hands and searching his eyes with what you know must be a crazed look. Colt doesn’t say anything more; the color is slowly returning to his face, and his nerves are calming down now that the adrenaline wears off. He doesn’t, however, loosen his grip on you, betraying how shaken he still is.

“Nice work, Colt,” bellows a voice from the train platform. “That was just what we needed.”

At the sound of Gordon’s voice, all you can see is red.

Setting your jaw, you turn away from Colt and stride back to the platform with more rage than you can remember feeling in your entire life. Every muscle in your body is quaking visibly, and your voice rings out loud and clear over the chaos in the set when you shout, “How dare you?”

Gordon turns from his conversation with a cameraman and gives you a nonplussed glance. When he realizes that your yell and your power walk are directed at him, he dismisses the cameraman to deal with you head-on.

“Something you want to discuss?” Gordon asks you, condescension dripping from his voice.

Behind you, you hear Colt making his way onto the platform, his calm voice assuring you, “Hey, it’s okay—”

But you’re not in the mood to be comforted. “It is not okay, Colt,” you shout, your eyes still locked on Gordon. Every eye on the set is directed at you, now that you’ve chosen to make a huge scene with Elijah Gordon himself. Colt pulls to a stop beside you, but your words are still pointed at Gordon. “How could you make him do that? How dare you make him do that?”

“There wasn’t any real risk, kid,” Gordon says flippantly. “Keep your bonnet on.”

“No real risk?” you demand. “Did we just see the same scene? Colt was trying to get off the tracks to stay alive, and you forced him to stay on longer so you could get a ‘closer call’ on camera.”

Gordon’s brows lower at that. “Again, not life-threatening,” he snaps. “If it were, Colt wouldn’t have finished the stunt, and I wouldn’t have made him do it.”

“You weren’t the one staring down the headlights of a train!”

Colt rests his hand on your elbow in an attempt to get you to calm down, but Gordon fires back at you immediately, “He’s a stuntman, my dear. In case you folks in the set decorating department don’t know what that is, it means he does stunts. Sometimes those stunts are dangerous.”

Gordon’s arrogance only inflames your anger more. “I am completely aware that his job comes with risks,” you shout. “But those risks shouldn’t come from a toffee-nosed director who thinks human life is something to play with like a deck of cards.”

You feel Colt stiffen beside you, and his grip on your arm grows firmer. “Hey, it seriously is okay,” Colt assures you. “Just drop it.”

“I’m not dropping it, Colt. If that train had been a few seconds off count, you wouldn’t be part of this conversation. You’d be in pieces on the train tracks.”

Gordon raises his hands to cut in, replacing the harshness in his voice with honey. “Listen, my dear, let’s just keep a clear picture of who you are, all right? You’re here to make the sets look good. You do that very nicely, and I appreciate it. So why don’t you keep your little toffee-nosed opinions off the set where the actual movies are being made, okay?”

You feel a shift in Colt’s body language again, but this time, it’s directed towards Gordon. You stand your ground, shooting a steely-eyed stare at the director that would make any action star proud.

“I bet your producers wouldn’t appreciate hearing that you risked the life of their top stuntman,” you tell him softly.

Gordon laughs out loud at that, as do a few of the crew members standing around him. “Listen, sweetheart, the producers pay me to make their movies look good,” he informs you. His voice changes then, affecting a curious, offended tone. “Aren’t you the one who’s been on a little crusade lately about doing everything with practical effects? You want to change your stance and say I should do all the stunts in VFX? Your boyfriend will be out of a job if I do that.”

A few more crew members laugh, trying to reduce some of the tension that is radiating between you. You know you’re the only person who’s freaking out about Colt’s close call — it’s not like he hasn’t done this sort of thing before — but you can’t help feeling like this is important.

“You absolute scumbag,” you hiss at Gordon. “You seriously are going to play this off like it’s just part of the process? Colt almost died—”

Holly comes up on your other side now, setting a calming hand on your shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, just—”

“I bet your producers would have loved to hear about that—”

“You need to calm down—” Holly says more firmly.

“And don’t you dare try to throw my own words at me like I’ve supported you risking people’s lives for a cool shot—”

Colt’s voice now. “Look, it’s not a big deal—”

“It is a big deal!” you explode, your voice echoing through the train station. “I mean, am I seriously the only one who sees any value in your life?”

Your comment is heavy, and everyone seems to feel the weight of it. Gordon hesitates, his eyes flicking back and forth between you, Colt, and Holly as if to make sure he’s not about to be physically attacked. The usual buzz of the crew is dead silent.

Finally, Gordon clears his throat and says dismissively, “If you’ve got a problem with me, kid, talk to the studio and see if they care. I can promise you they won’t.” He takes one step closer to you, and in a lower voice adds, “And in the meantime, keep your mouth shut about my processes. You’re good at your job, and I’d hate for you to have to get kicked off set just because you can’t keep your personal life separate from your professional one.”

With that, Gordon whirls around and walks back to the cameras to review the shot.

You’re still trembling with anger, your voice drying up in your throat as you realize that everyone in the crowd is still staring at you. You’re not ashamed of what you said, but you’re embarrassed that everyone on set had to witness it.

Ducking your head, you pull away from Colt and Holly and start walking out of the train station set. Only when the warm afternoon air hits your face do you realize tears have been streaming down your cheeks.

Colt is just a few steps behind you, and you look at him wordlessly, trying to read his expression. There’s not a trace of anger or confusion in his eyes — just a deep gratitude and affection. He slings his arm around your shoulders and leads you away from the set.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

The irony of that question isn’t lost on you. “This isn’t about me, Colt,” you state bluntly. You raise questioning eyes to him. “Does it really not bother you that he jeopardized you? Completely unnecessarily?”

Colt shrugs, his brow furrowing as he thinks. He seems so calm now, no traces of the panicky fear he couldn’t hide immediately after the stunt. “If I felt like it was unsafe,” he says carefully, “I would have jumped off the track no matter what he said.”

Another second, and it would have been too late.

“I know,” you acknowledge, a hint of emotion creeping into your voice. “I just… I don’t know. Just… seeing everyone act like it’s so casual and not important. Like your life doesn’t even make that much of a difference—”

“Hey,” Colt murmurs, stopping and turning you to face him so he can put both hands on your shoulders. “You are reading way too far into this, Picasso. No one is trying to eradicate my existence here.”

His tone is light and his eyes twinkling, and you know he’s trying to get you to laugh this off. But you just can’t.

“I know,” you whisper. “I just hate that it seems like I’m the only one who cares if you live or die. Including you.”

Your last statement makes Colt pause. You see the hesitation in his eyes as he mulls over what you’re implying. “Not true,” he replies at last, pulling you back under one arm as you resume walking towards the tents that have been set up for the crew.

“Really? Because you act like you don’t care.” Your voice holds no edge, no accusation. “You get more and more reckless with every stunt, and it just… it kills me to watch.”

You know you’re saying too much. You know you’re pushing the “just friends” agreement. But you can’t stop.

Colt takes his time responding to that. Suddenly, he seems to be really listening to the hidden meanings in your words, realizing that your outburst toward Gordon was indicative of something a lot deeper, something that you’re trying to communicate to him now. You can feel his steady heartbeat against your side, the gentle pressure of his hand on your shoulder. His steps are perfectly synchronized with yours.

“Look, I don’t have a death wish,” Colt explains at last, a serious note in his voice. “This is my job; I love the danger that comes with it. It’s like I said, both of us do our jobs because it’s our passion, no matter the risks.”

You shake your head. “I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was mad at you.”

Colt genuinely chuckles at that. “Believe me, it was obvious who you were mad at.”

“I guess I overdid it, huh?” You can feel some of the intense anger in your chest melting, and you let yourself release a slight laugh as you realize just what a spectacle you made: screaming at one of the world’s top directors on his own set.

“Maybe a little,” Colt confirms kindly. Once the two of you step inside one of the empty tents, he lifts his arm off your shoulders, and you turn to lean back against one of the wooden tables so you can face him. His face is still smeared with grime, and it suddenly reminds you of the moment you shared a few weeks ago, marking each other’s faces with your oil paints.

“I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it,” you concede, letting your gaze fall to the ground. “I just… felt like it needed to be said after literally everyone on set witnessed it.”

Colt nods, smirking at you and crossing his arms to lean against one of the structure beams. “Hey, I appreciated it,” he says with a wink. “No one’s ever challenged a director to demand safer working conditions for me.”

“Maybe it’s about time,” you shoot back, your heart speeding up.

“Maybe.”

The moment falls quiet. The tent is empty besides the two of you, and all you can hear is the sound of each other’s breathing and the gentle rustling of the wind against the flaps of the tent. Colt tilts his head back against the beam he’s leaning on, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. You can tell that this stunt took a toll on him, even if he’s not showing it.

Without warning, all the feelings you’ve been hiding for the last few months threaten to spill out of your lips. Maybe it was seeing him so close to death; maybe it was your impassioned rant; maybe it’s just what happens when you love someone with the desperation of a drowning person reaching for air.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you blurt out, “I really do care about you, you know.”

Colt doesn’t open his eyes or lift his head back up. “Well, if I didn’t, I certainly do now.”

His tone is humorous, but you’re not letting it go now that you’re committed. It’s now or never. “No, I’m serious,” you insist. “I know we’re just doing the friendship thing, but either way, I really care about you.” Colt lifts his head to fix his eyes on you, and you choose your next words carefully so he won’t misunderstand your meaning. “If you ever think that no one cares if you survive the stunts or not, I hope you know it’s not true. There’s one person in the world who would probably go insane without you around.”

Colt doesn’t laugh, but he doesn’t sound completely serious either when he responds, “Ah, you’d be fine.”

“Please tell me you don’t honestly think that.”

“Look, Picasso, I’m just one guy in the world,” Colt reminds you, shaking his head as if he’s explaining something very simple. “You’re going to meet thousands in your career, which I know is going to be super long and super star-studded. You’ve got everything in your life to look forward to.”

You frown at him, caught off guard by his seemingly off-topic response. “Colt, what are you even talking about?”

He swallows hard, looking off to the side and trying to disguise the emotion tinging his voice. “I’m just… trying to tell you not to put so many big expectations on me. I’m the kind of guy who can only let you down.”

Your heart plummets at his words, and suddenly everything falls into place in your mind. He does care. He’s always cared. He just won’t show it because he thinks he isn’t good enough. The most wonderful man in the world thinks he isn’t good enough.

“That is not true,” you declare, standing up straight for emphasis. “You’re the kindest person I know, and the smartest, and the bravest, and the funniest—”

“I think you’re confusing me with Keanu Reeves.”

“I’m not joking around, Colt. When I’m with you, I can just be myself, and I know you’re going to be there for me. You’ve seen me at my worst, but you act like you only remember me at my best. I know it sounds crazy, but I keep getting this feeling that everything in my life has led up to meeting you. Everything you do means so much to me. Every word you say, every minute we spend together is so, so precious to me. You are so precious to me.”

Your speech seems to stun Colt senseless. You have no idea where all that came from — you just knew that you wouldn’t be able to breathe until you had told him what you were feeling. Colt stands still as he processes your words, and you don’t regret a single one.

“Wow,” he finally whispers. “I have no follow-up for that.”

You shake your head, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “You don’t need one,” you tell him. “I just… felt like I should say it.”

Colt mulls over your words again. You wonder if anyone has ever talked to him like this, if you’re really the first one who has ever looked at him like he hung the moon in the sky. How could I be? How is it possible that no one else has ever recognized you for the treasure that you are?

“It means a lot,” Colt replies softly. “Seriously, you… you have no idea. Thank you.”

You just nod in response, not sure where to go from here. Colt isn’t acting like himself, overcome by some emotion that you’re not sure of. You don’t know whether to reiterate your statements, or to wait for him to say something, or to just stand in silence together for awhile.

Colt finally breaks the silence. “You sure you’re okay?”

You almost laugh at that, some of the tension sliding out of the atmosphere. “Yeah,” you assure him with a smile. “As long as you are.”

He nods at you, his own smile returning in a quiet sort of way. You’re transfixed by the gentle light reflecting in his eyes, the relaxed slope of his shoulders, when he holds out both arms to you, lifting an eyebrow as an invitation.

You don’t hesitate for a second. Why should you, after you just confessed every secret thought in your heart?

You step into the warm circle of his arms, and he immediately lowers his forehead to rest in the curve of your neck. Colt seems so unsure of himself in this moment, in a way that you’ve never known him to be. He’s trembling slightly again the way he was after he had just leaped off the railroad tracks. You grip your arms around his neck even tighter, and Colt wraps his arms around you so tightly you can barely breathe.

In that moment, you know your assumption was correct. He does care about you as deeply as you do about him. You can feel it in his embrace, in his very heartbeat. Every time you move to pull him closer, he mirrors your movements, closing every inch of space that has ever separated you. The grimy film makeup on his face rubs off on your neck, but it’s the sweetest touch you ever felt.

Colt catches you off guard when he tilts his head just slightly to the side, just enough that his lips are resting on the side of your neck. His manner isn’t seductive or suggestive: it’s as if he’s just breathing you in, trying to memorize the feel of you in his arms. Your sensitive skin prickles at the sensation, and one of your hands finds its way up to thread in the ragged-cut hair at the base of his neck.

You can feel his impressive strength just by the way he holds you, but you can’t help marveling at the gentleness of his hands when he reaches up to stroke the back of your head, once, twice. When he cradles the base of your neck with all the tenderness of an old lover, your stomach twists itself into a knot. He’s killing you. It’s magnificent.

Colt finally lifts his head from your shoulder, his hand still resting at the back of your head. His thumb moves in lazy circles, as if he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, and his eyes drag up your face slowly until they meet your own in a gaze that burns hotter than a supernova.

“I’ve never told you,” you whisper, your breath filling the few inches between your faces, “and I know I probably shouldn’t, but I’m in love with you.”

The words are hardly out of your mouth when Colt squeezes his eyes closed, a look of pain crossing his face. “Don’t. It’s not worth it,” he whispers back.

“It’s too late for that,” you tell him, tears choking your voice. “You don’t have to feel the same way. I just needed you to know.”

Colt doesn’t open his eyes, just shakes his head. “You don’t want to be in love with me,” he says softly, heartbreakingly. “My destination is a dead-end, and you deserve better than that.”

“Colt, I—”

“It’s better if we don’t go this route,” he tells you, opening his eyes so you can read the seriousness in his words. “You’ve got the most amazing future ahead of you. You’re going to be a lot better off without me dragging you down.”

Your heart constricts at his words. “Don’t you dare try to be noble about this,” you murmur, lifting your hands to frame his face. “You could never drag me down, and I couldn’t care less about what you think I ‘deserve.’ All I care about is you. All I want to do is love you, no matter what happens. If you really don’t feel that way about me, just say so. But if you feel as strongly for me as I do for you, please tell me. Please don’t break this off before we have a chance to even try it.”

The look that wells up in Colt’s eyes speaks to you in a language you’ve never understood before. His eyes roam your face, as if he’s searching for some hint that your words aren’t true, some way he can talk you out of your feelings. Realization dawns in his eyes as he reads the message you’re saying in everything but your words. I love you. I’ve loved you this whole time. You will always be enough for me. My heart is so full of you it barely even feels like it’s mine anymore.

He doesn’t kiss you — the distance between your lips and his feels like an interminable distance — but he lowers his face to yours in a way that is so tender, so intimate that all the breath leaves your body at once. He lets his cheek rest against yours, his beard brushing your skin softly, gently. You let your arms wrap around his neck again to pull him closer, nuzzling the side of his face with yours so he feels your meaning: I don’t ever want to let you go.

When his lips brush against your jaw, right below your ear, you can’t suppress your sharp intake of breath. You feel his hands resting on your waist, pulling you close against him, and you can hear his breath coming raggedly. He’s so different when he’s like this — no false confidence, no alleviating jokes, just the passion he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

You slide your fingers into his hair, and you can feel him react to your touch instantly. He raises his face from where he’s been resting it against yours, savoring in the contact every slow inch he moves. His eyes are closed when he brings his face level with yours again, his breath ghosting over your lips in a way that is so effortlessly tantalizing. It takes all your strength not to tip your head back and drown in his kiss.

With his hand still resting on the back of your neck, Colt pulls you in close one more time, letting his forehead touch yours gently. You close your eyes, breathing in the scent that envelops him — pine needles, cinnamon, and something salty. One moment more, just enough to savor how it feels to be wrapped up in the very essence of him, and Colt pulls back, releasing you from his hold.

“I just can’t do it to you, Picasso,” Colt says, his voice hoarse and strained. “I’m sorry.”

Your heart plummets at his words. It wasn’t enough. All of it wasn’t enough to convince him of your love. Your words are the opposite of what you want to say, but you know there can be no other response. “If that’s what you want,” you answer quietly. “I’ll respect it.”

“I know.”

You take a few steps back, trying to ignore the agony that is so obvious is his voice. Colt still looks like he wants to snatch you back into his arms and beg you to repeat the confession you just laid at his feet, but he doesn’t. He’s too strong, too stubborn, too sure he’s truly doing the right thing by letting you go. You don’t try to talk him out of it. You love him too much to try to change his mind.

You take a deep, steadying breath. “You take care of yourself,” you murmur with a sad smile. “I mean it.”

“I will.” Colt doesn’t even attempt a smile back, the ache in his heart obvious on his face. His gaze wanders over your face for a moment longer, and then he turns and ducks out of the tent.

Once he’s gone, all you can do is bury your face in your hands and weep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part 6

#GUYS IT'S MY FAVORITE ONE YET #i let out so many silent screams while writing this #i hope you can tell how much i adore writing these #fanfiction #colt seavers x reader #colt seavers fanfiction #original #colt seavers #the fall guy #ryan gosling #ryan gosling fanfiction #the five times colt seavers almost kisses you (and the one time he does)

244 notes · View notes

playingdxngerous · 1 year ago

Text

Relaxation Break

Word Count: 2.4k

Rating: 18+ MINORS DNI!!!

Warnings: smut, hand kink, unprotected p in v, oral m! and f! receiving, digital penetration f! receiving, some teasing, use of the word sir, some pet names, shared hotel room, cussing, spencer reid x reader, begging, probably some more small ones that i'm forgetting, me actually not proofreading whatsoever

first spencer reid fic, be nice to me guys

Sharing hotels with the BAU team was something you easily got used to as the job went on. You usually like to bunk with another girl, not wanting to have an awkward experience with someone like Gideon, for example. However, tonight will be different. With Garcia coming along this time, you have no other choice but to share a room with one of the men. You decide to stay with Spencer, feeling as if it would maybe be less awkward than Hotch. Hopefully, at least...

He unlocks the door and lets you walk in first, observing the room with every step you take. Two beds. Thank God.

"Care if I take the bed next to the lamp?" Spencer asks from beside you as he double checks the locked door.

"No, I don't care," you smile, trying to spark some form of emotion rather than the blank, quiet stares you share.

"Okay great," he replies, immediately setting his stuff down. You walk into the bathroom and wash your face, getting ready for bed. You walk out in sweatpants and a tank top, surprised to see Spencer is also dressed in comfier clothes. You've never seen this side of him, nor did you know it even existed. He's sitting criss cross, staring intently at the files in front of him.

"I'm going to try to sleep, we have a big day tomorrow," you say in a yawn.

"Is it okay if I keep the lamp on for a bit?" He asks innocently with a rasp in his voice. You like it a little more than it should, and it really surprises you. You've always thought Spencer was cute, but you never saw it any more than just admiring from afar. You've never pictured any form of relationship, or even touch with him. Especially when it comes to the two of you sharing a room. This is foreign land to you, and for some reason you can't help but let your mind wander further into it. You look at the grip on his black pen, his veins popping out with each quick movement. Heat rises in you, yet you force yourself to keep it in control. Not tonight. You are not falling for Dr. Spencer Reid tonight.

"Yeah of course, do whatever you need to do Dr. Reid." Did you really just say that out loud? You force a slight chuckle, masking the flirty sarcasm in your voice.

"Oh, that's sir to you actually. Don't forget I'm a professor too." He smirks with his comment.

"Whatever smarty pants," you say to lower the mood of the conversation. Not tonight. You are not falling tonight.

"Mhm..." he mumbles before focusing his attention back to the folders in front of him.

"Night," you say, covering your face with the covers to block out the bright light.

"Night," you hear him say from outside of the sheets. The white blankets don't do much to hide the light from you, which slightly aggravates you. This is definitely not something to look forward to after a long day of profiling a killer. You toss and turn for what feels like forever until you're all tangled up in the sheets. With an abrupt movement you throw them off of you and blow the hair out of your face.

"Is something wrong? A nightmare?" He asks worriedly.

"No not that. I haven't slept yet. Do you mind to maybe turn the light off? I understand you probably have a lot to do but it's okay to take a break sometimes. You can't let this job take over every part of your life." You pause and loudly sigh. "It's kind of worrying. You deserve the same amount of rest as everyone else in the branch. You don't need all of this hard work placed on you."

"I don't mind. I chose this job because I knew I could handle it. I'll be okay."

"Spencer..." you whisper to almost nothing.

"Maybe I can do the work in the hallway or in the bathroom or something. I want you to be able to rest. I'm sorry, I didn't know I was bothering you or-" He rambles on before you cut him off.

"Spencer no," you say as you walk over to his bed. You gently place the files to the side in an organized manner so as to not mess up his work. He looks at you in silence, his puppy dog eyes becoming strangely hard to ignore. You grab his hand, and he slightly flinches.

"I'm sorry I forgot you probably don't like that." You apologize and quickly pull away.

"It's okay, I honestly didn't mind."

"Are you sure?" You bewilder. He nods.

"Look Spence...," you take a deep breath. "I know you have a ton of work, but you deserve to take a break for once in your life. Let that be tonight. Get some good sleep for once. Wake up energized to finish the files."

"No one calls me that." He smiles. "I think I like it, to be honest."

"What happened to sir?" You laugh and grab his hand again. This time he doesn't pull away.

"Oh, you know." He shrugs his shoulders. "I guess you're not one of my students so it's cool."

'I'll still call you sir if you like', your mind threatens to say. However, for right now at least, this thought must be kept to yourself.

"Well, that's beside the point. I just want you to know that it's okay to relax sometimes," you actually do say.

"I don't really know how." He responds, giving you trouble deciding what to say back. You run your thumb along his hand, admiring every little perfection about it. He looks down to see for himself, and his breath slightly hitches at the commotion. You squeeze his other hand with your free one, causing him to meet your gaze once more. This time way closer than the last. Inches lay between your faces. His warm breath blows onto you, proving the closeness between you. He seems to finally be catching on to you as his eyelids only remain halfway open. Afraid to make a move, the two of you sit in silence wondering if he feels the same as you.

"I can try to help you," you whisper just loud enough for him to hear.

"Yeah?" He asks, his voice almost a whimper. He has definitely caught on. For a man who rarely even shakes hands with other people, he seems to love the attention you are now giving him. You squeeze his hands harder, admiring the way they tower over yours in size. He mimics your thumb movement, slightly going back and forth. Definitely caught on. Thankfully.

"Yeah." You slightly lean in, lips parted ever so softly. He follows your movement, not yet making contact with you. After what feels like forever, you decide to take control and simply peck his lips to see how he reacts. Once again he follows you, pulling away right after you do.

"I-" he pushes out in a stutter, his eyes wide and his face red. You smile as he swallows anxiously.

"Everything okay Spence?" You smirk, eyes slightly closed still.

"Yeah." He clears his throat and licks his lips. Silence barges in once again, the room filled with blushes and clandestine stares. Out of nowhere, your starving lips collide with his quickly. He slides his tongue over your bottom lip, forcing him inside of you. His change in demeaner surprises you to your core. Never in your job have you seen Spencer Reid so full of life and action. He moves quicker than ever, desperate to be as close to you as possible. He grabs your jawline, your pussy wet at the thought of what his hands probably look like again your soft skin. He moves back to your neck, grabbing a handful of hair to push you closer. He tastes sweeter with each kiss, driving you absolutely rabid

"Jesus Christ, Spencer, you're so different right now."

"Is that a bad thing?" His swollen pink lips ask. You can't move your gaze away from them.

"Not at all." You say and hurriedly go back into the kiss. After a few moments you pull away and stare into his dilated pupils as your brain seems to stop functioning. Arousal takes over the both of you.

"Just to be clear, how far are you wanting to go?" He asks.

"Wherever you take me." You say weakly.

"Just tell me if you need to stop, okay?"

"Yes sir." You smirk. Found his weakness. He rolls his head back and licks his lips, his adams apple moving as he swallows gently.

"I've never done this before, I'm sorry if-" He begins before you shut him up with a short kiss.

"Spence, you don't know how long I've looked at you in awe, forcing away my thoughts of seeing you on top of me. Fucking me until I can't breathe. Worshipping you." You breathe out.

"I never thought I'd enjoy this as much as I am."

"Let's make it even better." You say as you climb on top of him, pushing him against the pillows parallel to the bedframe. Your lips meet his again, this time neater than the last. You bite his bottom lip as you pull away, dragging it with you. You crawl down to his waistband, teasingly putting your fingers underneath it.

"Can I?" You ask.

"Wait. You first." He lifts up your chin with his index finger.

"Me?"

"Is there a problem with that darling?" His words echo in your mind. Darling, darling, darling. His darling. All his. No one else.

"No, just usually men don't care about the women's pleasure. I assumed you'd want me to suck you off first."

"Well, I personally care very much. I'm fucking dying to taste you." You've never heard Spencer curse before, and you've sure been missing out.

"Please do baby." You moan.

"On your back. Now." He says strictly. You love this side of him more than anything. You follow his rules and lay on your back as he looks at you in hunger.

"May I?" He holds the waistband to your pants in his perfect hands.

"Yes," you nod.

"Yes what?"

"Please Spencer."

"Yes what."

"Yes sir."

He finally pulls down your sweatpants, your soaked panties still on. He eyes them down, sliding one finger up the crease.

"You're so wet for me sweetheart."

"Spencer you're being so different. Ten minutes ago you would have passed out if I were almost naked in front of you. What's changed?"

"You think I haven't waited ages to touch you?" Oh.

"I don't understand. You're so much more... I don't know." You trail off.

"Do you want to stop?" He asks seriously, backing away slightly.

"No!" You almost shout. "I'm just so lost."

"I guess I just feel comfortable with you. I've wanted you for so long and now that I finally have you, I just feel so different." He smiles.

"I'm all yours."

"Good," he kisses your thigh. He begins to trail up to your pulsing heat in a line of kisses. Gently he pulls the remaining fabric off of you, leaving you in just a tank top that you happily remove. His fingers graze across your clit, your nerves sending tingles through your whole body. He grabs both of your thighs, squeezing gently as he drowns his head in you. His tongue moves all around, making you see stars. He licks at your entrance, slowly sliding in a finger out of nowhere.

"More..." you beg. He slides another in, slowly pumping. Each time he slides in he curls at just the right place, almost sending you over the edge. The mixture of his tongue and fingers begins to take over you, making you grab his hair to relieve some of the pressure.

"C'mon baby finish for me." His words vibrate into you. With this your orgasm finally collapses onto him, relief suddenly flowing through you. You raise up and look into his menacing eyes. The two of you exchange deep breaths as he holds you in his arms.

"Your turn." You exhale.

"Think you can handle one more?"

"Why don't you tell me, Dr. Reid. The corner of your lip curves up. Oh sorry, I mean sir."

"Guess we won't know unless we try." He leans in to kiss you, then kissing down your neck and leaving a red spot from sucking.

"Better hope Gideon doesn't see that," you laugh.

"Yeah good luck. He would never suspect it from me."

"I didn't either," you mumble, Moving down his body you slide his sweatpants off and run your hand up his shirt, purposefully ignoring his huge erection. He takes it off, the two of you completely vulnerable to each other now.

"Think you can take it?" He laughs.

"Watch me." You sit on his waist, slowly sliding his dick in. He whimpers, the unholy sound sending shivers down your spine.

"Fuck," he says under his breath. As you gain speed his mouth falls open and he leans his head back. Moans escape his lips and you've never been more content in your life. He grabs your chin once more, placing it between his index and thumb. "You're so pretty riding me like the princess you are. I love it." You speed up at his words, desperate to make cum. "I'm so close love, keep going." Every new pet name sends you head over heels for him.

Acknowledging how close he is, you pull off and begin to suck on him. He releases almost instantly with a quiet moan. He looks down and watches as you swallow his load.

"Woah." Is all you can manage out as you both admire each other in such a state.

"Never thought this would happen." He says smiling.

"Me neither." You smile back and crawl up next to him, pulling the messy sheets over the two of you. He kisses you on the forehead and pulls you in closer. "Feel relaxed now?" You laugh.

"Oh definitely. More than ever."

"So... the lamp goes off now?" You ask excitedly.

"Yes," he sighs and reaches over to twist the knob on it. "The stupid lamp can go off."

#spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #mgg fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic

927 notes · View notes

deanbrainrotwritings · 1 year ago

Text

— BEING DEAN’S WIFE

REQUEST : “Hey, can i request a hcs of be Dean Winchester or Jensen ackles wife? and be super sweet and pure girl that is younger than them” — anonymous

PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : none

WARNINGS/TAGS : fluff, angst (if you squeeze your eyes together, til you make a crescent moon shape), a little bit of nsfw at the very end bc it’s hilarious

A/N : uh, yeah, here’s a little gift! I didn’t wanna do university work so i did this instead ☺️ anyway, i think this is just a list of things i love about dean… LMAO XXXX

he will just stare at you for no reason

well, the reason is actually that he thinks your lovely to look at LOL

all those chick flicks he secretly loves to watch? yeah, he’ll recite the romantic stuff because he’s literally down bad for you

… he’s cringing on the inside but also knows he means every word

he’s so pathetic for you and he doesn’t even care

he loves to give you forehead kisses

and he wants them, too, but your lips need to linger a bit, and he’ll close his eyes and just release all the tension in his body because he’s touch starved

he plays with your wedding ring when your hand is right there in his line of sight

he will hold your hand and just stare at the way the ring shines in the sunlight and he will grin like a gigantic dork

ex : if your talking to him or someone else, he’ll just take your hand and gently run his fingers over the ring

he likes when you hold his head against your stomach

when he’s sitting and you’re standing and you move between his legs just to hold his adorable little face close to you, HE LOVES THAT

you’ll let him talk for hours about things he likes, things he wants to share with you

and when you admit you have no idea what he’s talking about when he makes references to old pop culture stuff, he’ll show you everything

.. if all that stuff he references was associated with something else, now it’s all associated with you and him

it’s like THERAPY, to redo stuff with you, to make it his again, and yours

teaching him how to use technology because he’s an old man (affectionate), and he learns fast bc he’s SMART

LOL, witnessing firsthand how genius and resourceful dean is when something breaks [yeah, I can’t stop thinking about him making his own EMF and Sammy being a complete NIPPLEHEAD (affectionate) about it ! as a STEM girly that was so sexy of dean]

HELLO HE SINGS, TO YOU. HE WILL SING YOU ALL THE LOVE SONGS OMG

or he’ll just sing randomly and not even notice that you’re listening to him

silence, comfortable silence, not sad, just.. peaceful

he likes not having to say anything sometimes, just being there with you

he plays with your hair A LOT, he’ll take strands and just feel the texture of it between his fingertips, he’ll even try to do your hair if you let him, if it’s long enough

CUDDLES, he needs that, too.

but he’d rather be on top when you cuddle, with his cute face on your chest, listening to your heartbeat, to your breathing, falling asleep if you run your fingers gently along his back or if you play with his hair

Dean starts mumbling a lot against your chest or shoulder when you’re just relaxing and having lazy conversation as you cuddle

how about KISSING HIS LITTLE DIMPLES??? idk about you but I just wanna kiss his little dimples when he does that specific SMILE or POUT, ya know what I mean! •ᴗ•?? or •~• ???

he flirts with you because you blush so easily

he gets flustered when you flirt back, BC HE’S NOT USED TO IT

he looks like a strawberry, just eatable, with the tips of his ears all red, then the pinkish hue pouring across his freckled cheeks and down his neck in cute little splotches 😭 ALRIGHT YEAH I THINK ABOUT THIS OFTEN

teasing him ABOUT EVERYTHING because that’s hilarious, and he’s indignant but also knows you’re so right and he’ll roll his eyes at you and pretend he’s mad

he can never be mad at you, only playfully!

UHHH ! KISSING THE LITTLE WRINKLES AT THE CORNER OF HIS PRETTY EYES !!!

squeezing him very tightly when you hug and just holding him until he’s practically putting all his weight over you like a willow tree

he’ll bother you on purpose, especially if you’re serious

ex : he takes strands of your hair and will put it in your ear LMAOO or tickle your face with it bc he’s never gonna let a single moment be boring

he grins like the cutest idiot in the world and you can’t be mad at him because he looks LIKE THAT, like the cutest idiot in the whole universe

wearing his clothes and pretending to be him, he thinks it’s cute and funny

he’ll hold your face a lot

and kiss you all over bc you’re cute and pure and deserve all the affection he can offer

and his hands are big and calloused, but he’s so tender and gentle, and warm

hugs from behind

smashing your face into his back and taking in the smell of his body (Mrs Butters lied, Dean smells good)

he’ll love the smell of your hair when he nuzzles into your neck, or the smell of your skin, or the softness of it

going on cute dates, like picnics, watching movies, going to the cinema, going to comic book stores

watching Disney movies together and he can recite the Dory movie by heart because HE LOVES THAT FISH FR

he’ll make you playlists of songs that remind him of you

He takes lots of photos, Polaroids are his favourite because he gets to put them anywhere and everywhere so he can smile and see you if you’re ever busy

you’ll always dress up on Halloween or just for fun whenever he wants

✨healing his inner child✨

grocery shopping together, he pouts when you don’t let him be unhealthy

if you’re short, he’s making fun of you for being shorter than him when he has to reach for stuff on shelves that you can’t reach even on your toes

he teaches you how to cook if you don’t know how to

and you eat the crazy food combinations he comes up with, like those marshmallow mac and cheese he said he made for Sam when they were kids , I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT TASTES LIKE

he teaches you how to fix cars! he’ll stare at you when you’re being silly ANYWAY PLS TEACH ME DEAN PLS

HAHAHAHAH but like hahahahah as in, 👀 the cute little names he calls you, and you thought they were cringe when couples said them to each other but actually when HE says it to YOU it makes you swoon and you blush, but you pretend you hate it at first because you’re not used to it but he can see through you, you love it

(I’m convinced that if he calls me darlin’, I will die on the spot, or my illnesses will be cured idk idk, I just know something spontaneous or magical will happen)

sharing everything, as in food

he’ll eat your leftovers, if there are any

or if he likes your stuff better than what he’s got, he’ll eat it when he think you’re not looking, but you are definitely aware, you’re just pretending because he’s so cute

trying all the Starbucks drinks together

having to deal with his grumpiness in the morning

even better, you’re not a morning person either so you’re both grumpy

he’s so cute when he’s had his first cup of coffee in the morning :’)

when you shower together, you both play with the shampoo on you heads LMAO

he gives really good massages, like MIND-BLOWINGLY GOOD, I know them hands are magical

BUYING EACH OTHER JEWELLERY, he’s too pretty to not wear jewellery

kissing his freckles BC HES CUTE AND he blushes

kissing his scars (flashback of emo memes) NO, not saying anything about them, just gently pressing your lips on his sensitive skin so he’s not insecure about all of them

reading all sorts of magazines together BC THERES NO TOXIC MASCULINITY IN MY HOUSEHOLD AND MY BOY IS ALLOWED TO DO WHAT HE WANTS YA DUMB— right, anyway

he throws you over his shoulder and then walks around to bother you

butt smacking, that’s it, imagine the possibilities

pretending he’s picking you up at bars (like Claire and Phil from Modern Family 😭)

he’ll throw out his best pick up lines and you have to hold in your laughter at the faces he makes ALSO it works bc that’s your husband

being the best husband when you’re sick

making the yummiest foods and making sure your taking natural vitamins along with medicine

hanging out with you the whole time, not caring that you’re sick even though he’s kind of a germaphobe

whining a lot when he’s sick, but he’s partially just messing with you bc he wasn’t allowed to whine about anything as a kid (I’m right behind you, John)

he’s holding your boobs for comfort LMAO

I feel like he likes to bite, so he bites you a lot for no reason, and then goes about his day

pretending to have accents

more importantly, Dean knows how to speak Spanish, supernatural lied (all that porn and all those novelas and nothing stuck? nah, he’s very good at Spanish)

so he’ll try to seduce you with his Spanish speaking skills (and if you’re Latina/hispanic like me, you think it’s so sexy or it’s just plain cute, idk yet)

playing video games together and being very competitive

he’s very clean and very neat so you never have to tell him to clean up after himself !

he’s very protective of you, but never oversteps bc he knows you can handle yourself

he likes introducing you as his wife

it’s probably not even necessary but he’ll say it very loud and with a gigantic smile and he’ll embarrass you but it’s okay bc it’s Dean

he lies and says he’s your sugar daddy when people comment about the age gap

dude, dude, he’ll tease you a lot like… 🤣 he’ll copy your moans, or repeat stuff you said to him during sex. he’ll tell you very descriptively about how it all went down and the faces you made and the sounds you made.. you know, like in rock and a hard place [09.08]

especially if you’re shy

you wanna strangle him, but you don’t bc he’s the love of your life !

did I do this right? :( doesn’t matter, add some headcannons in the tags or comments 😭 i love husband!dean

taglist

@rominaszh @lanassmarty @murdockscumsock @zepskies @candy-coated-misery0731 @lyarr24 @spnfamily-j2 @globetrotter28

main masterlist

dean winchester masterlist

do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean x female!reader #1.4

829 notes · View notes

seishirospeaches · 1 year ago

Text

━━ I'm so lonely ♡🍒

・❥・

synopsis : there are many reasons to why you missed coming back to your hometown, firstly, your mother's cooking, spending days just doing nothing in particular except for one. You started to develop strange feelings for the hot single father who just moved in last summer, now all you could do is watch him afar but this time you wanted to go far.

genre: smut (can't handle it? get out while your at it) warning: masturbating, unprotected sex, cuss, choking, a lot more and Toji is a warning.

伏黒甚爾 (Toji F.)

a/n: click on the photo I have a surprise <3

finally Christmas break was here and you have been planning to return to parents house, all your friends planned to celebrate the holidays with their partners some with their family going to another country whereas you wanted it to be simple.

You took the last remaining stuff left as you headed to your car driving home, it was a bit traffic since everyone was also doing a last minute Christmas shopping, you thought maybe it wasn't a bad idea too since you haven't really bought anything for your parents. You pulled over to a parking lot and headed to a store buying presents for your family.

Too bad this time around you might not even have the time to wrap them up, but you know you store some old paper bags and gift wrappers in your room for a good use. You could hide it from them ones you get home. Driving home as your reached to your place you had to open the trunk to retrieve your bags, you struggled to get them but that's until you felt a large hand taps on your shoulder.

"Need a hand on that?" You spunned around looking at his muscles ripping over that tight fitting black shirt his denim jacket was doing a little small justice to see his veiny arms you drool over with. You tried not to look like your checking him out but it was too hard to divert your eyes elsewhere.

"Y-yeah, thanks." Moving over to the side he takes your bags, not before long your parents came out dashing towards you through the front yard.

Your mom cooing was a little embarrassing but you hope your hot neighbor didn't have to catch your beet red face, she kept thanking the neighbor for helping you out. All he did was smirk at you with the scar on the side of his lip, you swore you'd never seen a better looking man than him it was too impossible.

After settling in your mother busied herself cooking while your father was setting up more Christmas decors with your little sister Utahime.

Your window has the perfect view of him in his room, he was all sweaty, panting, he probably had a good work out but the moment he pulled over his shirt you were a goner.

It was too good to pass up, the reason you came home this winter break was just to see him and dream of letting his hands get all over you.

You were never like this at all, they say you were like a saint, a goody two shoes kind of girl, the one who they viewed to be innocent.

But innocent you weren't, all the good girl facade wasn't true anymore. It all went out the window the moment he moved in as your neighbor, everyday, all night and day all you could think of was him. You were willing to throw yourself to him if it was only possible to do so.

You missed him so much, you can't be satisfied at all you can't deny the need of wanting to taste a single father who has two children, you wanted him all to yourself.

You were quick to lock the door, laying to your bed as you stare up to the ceiling, slowly taking off your pants along with your panties, pulling your shirt up as to reveal your breast, twirling around your nipple as you slowly try to get aroused, biting down your lower lip as your other hand travels down, your wet folds, slowly sliding a finger in, pumping in and out as you moan, the other hand pinching your nipple, imagining someone else, touching you, feeling your soft skin, as your pussy becomes wetter, your finger picking up the pace, the sounds of your moans, and wetness echoing in your room.

You try to imagine it was Toji's fingers than yours, you think how he looks so good on top of you

He was a lot bigger than you, and a lot stronger, you can already see him using that strength on you, slamming into you, making you moan for him, his large hand on your throat, the other holding both your wrists together, keeping them above your head as you were too weak to struggle out of his grip, the feeling of him dominating you was something you can only dream of, but here you were, dreaming about it.

Your mind goes back to the time he was close to you earlier, his scent those large hands, his fingers deep within this cunt, the feeling of him thrusting his fingers into you was all you could think of, your fingers not able to satisfy you anymore, as you try to keep your moans low, trying not to get caught, not wanting your mother to hear what you're doing, your eyes rolling back, as you imagine more of him.

His fingers, the way they felt inside you, the way he touched you, it was something that kept you awake, you wanted more you want it so bad. Until you creamed but it wasn't enough, you still feel like you want more. Taking over as you dared to do the unthinkable, you moved your bed near the window as you see him relaxing by his bed with a magazine on his hand you can tell it was about cars, you made him have a perfect view of you.

"fuck this." You move the curtain away making sure he sees this show for himself only.

You take a pillow, riding on it, moving up and down on it as if it was him instead of a pillow, showcasing how much you wanted him inside of you. You dare to look over outside the window surprised to see he was already watching the scene unfold before him, you bit your lower lip as your grope both of your breast kneading them in front of him, pinching your nipples, teasing him, showing him how you wished it was him instead.

His eyes on you, was enough to get you off, the fact that he was enjoying this show, and how he was slowly stroking his hardening cock was enough to turn you on, the feeling of your wet cunt on the pillow was enough, as you rode on it, trying to chase after the orgasm that was slowly creeping up to you, your moans becoming louder as the friction of the pillow on your clit was enough to send you off the edge, cumming on the pillow.

You look back outside to see him gone, a little upset at how he disappeared, but not until a knock came from your door, making you jump from where you were.

"Sweetie, we invited the neighbor for dinner do you mind to help us prepare here we only have a few minutes before they arrive." It was your mother behind the door, you gave a quick answer as you were still panting.

━━━━━

The dinner went well surprisingly, you borrowed a dress from your mother it was a black velvet fitted dress. You knew he was coming over so you wanted to dress to impress him even though the whole time he wasn't even looking at you, you were trying to strike a conversation with him he simple manages to dodge it, only his sweet eldest daughter Tsumiki was answering you instead, she was smiling brightly at you most of the time and somehow you got along with her and the youngest child Megumi was practically four, he kept close contact and always wanting to sit beside you.

You all stayed in the living room, you were in the kitchen washing the dishes while your mother was making hot cocoa with Toji who was kind enough to help her you could hear them talking about his children, how he manages them and work, you knew the wife was already out of the picture long time ago when Megumi was only months old you heard it while they were talking. You were in your own world until you felt a hand on your waist.

"That show, was it for me?" He whispered, his chest on your back and his lips were tickling your ears.

"It was." He let out a dark laughter, you could feel it to his chest as he was never this close to you before, you tried to peer behind him to see if any of your family could see this.

"Don't worry, no one gives a flying fuck when they see us." He lightly kisses your collarbone, his fingers caressing your thighs as it goes up and down.

"Don't start something you can't finish, doll." His voice was smooth and deep and sent tingles down to my spine, making it hard to think. I tried to keep my own tone even, despite the heat building in my core.

"You don't know what I'm capable of," I replied.

I dare to reply, even with his eyes on me. His gaze made me want to squirm in my seat, but I managed to hold my ground.

"I would be happy to find out." He raised a brow, his mouth quirked up at the corners, the hint of a smile playing at his lips.

He's trying to get me to back down, I thought.

"Don't threaten me with a good time," I said, raising a brow. "You have no idea who you're talking to, or what you're getting yourself into."

He let out a chortle, looking dangerously into my eyes

"Well, now you have me interested, darling. How about we let that dream of yours come true, hm?"

I stared into his dark eyes, and he did the same. My heart hammered against my chest, and my body ached with a need I wasn't used to.

"Maybe we can," I replied, taking another sip of my drink.

His gaze dropped to my lips as I licked the alcohol from them. His hands tightened around the glass, and I had a sudden image of him lifting me onto the table and having his way with me right here and now.

He reached over and pulled the empty glass from my hand, setting it aside. Then he lifted my hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

"Until next time," he said, winking and standing from the booth.

What a tease.

He twirls me around before dipping in his lips close to my ear.

"Meet me outside before the clock strikes twelve, make sure you wear nothing underneath I like you without clothes, doll." He licks behind my ear causing me to whimper, my knees were about to give in. He moves back as he walks to the living room.

I waited and kept glancing over the clock, I wanted him more than I have wanted anything else. His gaze at me throughout the night made my panties damp, with his legs spread wide looked like an invitation for me to crawl to him, to straddle, to have the best night ever.

They have left, I did wait and follow his words I sat down to my bed taking a trench coat from my closet making sure I had nothing inside. Everyone in the house was asleep, I quietly walk down the stairs locking the front door as I walk towards my neighbors house, before I could knock the door swung open revealing his naked top with black pants on he quickly scoop me in his arms as he kicked the door close. He quickly kissed me and carried me up the stairs into his room.

He laid me down and began to strip my coat off I was about to protest but it's a little to late to change my mind.

He was hovering over me kissing my lips and making his way down to my chest and began to undo his pants revealing his cock sprung up to hitting his stomach I could feel his tip touch my folds.

I wrapped my legs around his hips he left wet kisses around my neck down to my breast and took one in his mouth I bit my lips as I could feel him push himself into my entrance.

I let out a groan in pleasure and pain as he pushed his length inside me. Once he was fully in I let out a breath I was holding in and he waited for me to adjust, I wiggled my hips to give him the signal to start moving and he began to thrust slowly.

His pace picked up, his grunts were like music to my ears, my moans were echoing through his room, my arms were around his neck pulling him closer, my breast were bouncing.

"Fuck, knew you taste better but you taste so sweet." He said while licking my neck.

"S-Stop teasing me." I said in a moan.

"Oh? So you want me to fuck you harder?" He said picking up the pace.

"Yes please!" I moaned.

He began to pound harder into me, the bed started to move a little. He grabbed my hand and pinned them above my head. He kept ramming into me, the pleasure was building up and I felt like I was going to explode.

"Fuck...I'm so close..." I moaned.

"Let go baby."

I could feel my orgasm reach it's peak and I finally released my orgasm. He wasn't done yet he was still going.

"Please cum for me."

He was grunting, I was moaning, and we could feel our orgasm build up and he finally let out his load, the feeling of him releasing his hot cum inside me sent shivers down my spine.

He moves away, I was thinking we were done but instead he grabs my ankles pulling me down towards him and flipped me over so I'm on my hands and knees. He was behind me pushing himself back into me, I let out a moan and gripped the sheets.

He grabs my hair pulling my head back as he was ramming into me, the slaps could be heard from a mile away, his grunts could make me cum again.

"Yes! Oh fuck yes!" I moaned.

"That's right baby say my name, who makes you feel good."

"You do, oh god yes!" I moaned, my breast jiggling in each thrust.

"Say my fucking name doll."

"T-Toji, don't stop please!" I moaned.

"Cum again for me baby."

"Oh god! Yes, I'm gonna cum!"

My orgasm was building up, my body was trembling, my eyes rolling in the back of my head.

"You want me to cum inside you huh, answer me doll."

"Please Toji, fill me up!" I moaned.

"Good girl."

He went deeper and I was at my limit, my body was trembling as my orgasm came to its climax, his hot seed filled me up.

He pulled out and collapsed next to me, I fell on the bed and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him.

"So I guess I won't be going back home tonight." I laughed, he smirked kissing me as our tongues fight.

"You won't leave this bed not until the sun comes up." I could feel his cock still hard.

"Round 3?"

"Fuck yes."

The whole night was spent fucking, he kept his word we ended when the sun was already peaking through the dark clouds.

Meanwhile the door swung open, revealing a sleepy Megumi as he crawls in the bed between the two of you.

You both opened your eyes noticing how Megumi must've fell asleep trying to wake his father, Toji was admiring how you looked so soft around his children.

Kissing your forehead, "your gonna make me wanna knock you up with my babies." You both laughed.

"Is that your way of asking me out or not?"

"I'd really want to ask you out on a date." The door swung open revealing Tsumiki.

"Utahime is at the front door looking for Y/n" She said, looking back and forth and her fathr then you.

"Oh crap." You mumbled.

#toji x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji zenin #toji fushiguro #toji smut #fushiguro toji #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

426 notes · View notes

azrielgreen · 9 months ago

Text

The social side of a fandom can be really fun, especially at first, but please always remember that 99% of the interactions are completely hollow. People are giving 5-10% of their time per day in a way that requires very little effort or social construct. I say this because after a certain point, people start to take this stuff very seriously, even considering it a community.

The lack of accountability means, imo, that social fandom can never be a community. You can make friends, absolutely. You can meet the love of your life and make friends you'll never be without, that's completely real. But the vast majority of us don't know each other and we never will. The ability to create personas without moral tethering means that bullying becomes RAMPANT under the guise of "you like this thing in the wrong way, I like it the right way!" I've noticed that the easiest way for a group to start bullying without reproach is to take up the mantle of Purity Police, but it inevitably devolves into the root of the issue - insecurity. Not feeling secure in an online space, not feeling secure sharing what they like and engaging unless they're throwing someone else under the bus, almost like they have to justify why they like the thing in the first place and that's without even touching upon jealousy.

"I like it for the RIGHT reasons, canon reasons, proper reasons!"

It's all the same.

And it is, at least partially, due to the fact that fandom was never meant to be this visible or this widely connected. It takes a reasonable degree of self security to see someone with a completely contrary take about the things/characters you love... and walk on by. A lot of people aren't that secure and the ability to be anonymous, to drop something spiteful and immediately put the phone down is a dangerously addictive feeling. What repercussions are there for this? None. The level of disconnect between phone and reality is DANGEROUS.

But that disconnect dissolves when you're on the other end, the notification end. The damage done by online bullying in a space that once felt like a safe haven of self expression and creative engagement is untold. There are so few studies done on the fallout and the psychological harm it can do, but it's considerable.

Unfortunately, as lovely as social fandom can be, it can equally be a negative place to spend your time and energy.

I think often of that person who openly pretended to be my friend and then forgot to select ANON on a really mean ask. I know others this has happened to. We don't know enough about each other to be safe and we never will.

So please, protect yourself first. Don't give yourself fully to something built on sand. Have fun, share creations, make friends, enjoy and embrace and be kind and if you cannot be kind, block and scroll and please take BREAKS.

If someone else's headcanon feels like a personal attack on yours, take a break. If someone's fic is written different than what you like, don't read it. If you see art in a pairing you don't like, scroll the fuck on.

I promise, none of this shit is worth hurting yourself or others in the long run.

💜💜💜

#fanfiction #fandom #fanfic rambles

227 notes · View notes

captain-mj · 11 months ago

Note

Stoner Ghost??

You’re getting headcanons because i think about this a lot but don’t have a plot

SFW

He does it for medicinal purposes, shockingly. He’s not above breaking the law but it helps with chronic pain he has from everything

Gets high before events where he needs to be social with anyone outside his small circle from friends/coworkers

Doesn’t really get the munchies but he does use this an excuse to eat food he normally wouldn’t. Several of them have found him in the base kitchen eating a ton of leftovers

Watches space and ocean videos and vibes

Is a lot more comfortable with touch as long its not too much, can’t grab him but he's fine with someone sitting next to him

Likes watching scary stuff because none of it really fazes him

Gets paranoid if he takes too much

Prefers smoking

Owns a bong

Price occasionally sits with him. He never smokes, just sits with him. He enjoys talking with Simon and this is one of the best times again.

Usually takes his mask off once he's high enough

Makes more stupid jokes than ever but usually laughs too hard to really get themout

NSFW

So Horny

Unbelievably Horny

Everyone has learned to knock

Sober him has awkwardly given Soap (or anyone you want) consent for high him for this specific reason

Takes longer to finish despite being more sensitive

So much easier to get him to make noise, eyes rolling back and whimpers coming out

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #cod #soapghost #ghoap

287 notes · View notes

starry-eyes-love · 11 months ago

Text

Marriage Dynamics- Relaxin' is Hard Work

Main Masterlist Series Masterlist

Pairings: Husband Joel Miller x F!Reader (18+ Minors DNI) AU, No outbreak

Summary | Joel takes the day off to spend it with you. You take him to a salon for a couples pedicure and massage, but somehow your wires get crossed and instead of spending the afternoon relaxing, you spend the afternoon working on improving communication in your marriage. Reader mentions she's pregnant, but is too scared to admit it to her husband. Joel eventually figures it out.

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI. Husband and wife marriage dynamics, age gap (he's 52 and she's 37), language, light smut (reader gets handsy in public), Joel whimpers at her touching him (it needs its own warning), arguments with angst at times, reader berates herself, descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, reader over thinks things (a lot), terms of endearment used (baby, babe, honey, mama, Angel, etc.), slight flirtatious behavior (what can I say, Joel loves his wife), Joel tickles his wife (it needs its own warning), fluffy parts sprinkled in here and there, reference and descriptions of pregnancy, references to unplanned pregnancy, female reader briefly mentions past abuse with father (yet no in-depth specifics are given), mentions of body issues and body descriptions, mentions of feeling ill (female reader gets sick and vomits in garbage can). Think I got them all. Enjoy :)

Word Count: 6.1k

“Ok sexy mama, I'll get my toes painted” he commented, while reaching down and tickling your belly to hear you laugh some more. You started squealing and squirming as he tickled your stomach, a ticklish spot you had. Joel loved to hear you squeal and break out in a fit of laughter. The more he heard it the more his heart swelled large in his chest and the tighter his pants got in the front. It had been a long time since…

Joel stood there next to you at the counter glancing over all the items that were there, thinking to himself, why do I get myself in these predicaments with her? Here he was taking the day off from work to spend it with you, something that doesn't happen very often. You promised him a fun, relaxing day together. However, as he watched you pay for a couples massage and pedicure, he thought this is not my idea of fun nor relaxin’.

Earlier that Day

"Darlin', I'm not sure about this," he said as you pulled up to the salon.

"Come on Joel, you're always griping about how your back and feet hurt. Now you can take care of them," you replied while parking the car.

You watched him rub the back of his neck awkwardly saying "I know baby, but me, a pedicure? I mean come on, I thought we were gonna do something fun.”

"Joel, you're gonna love it, trust me.”

Joel just glared at you as he slowly ground his teeth while releasing a long exhale. He was trying to figure out how he could get out of doing this.

“Babe, you'll really relax doing this.” You said, trying to get him to see reason.

“No I won't Angel. This-” Joel said, waving his hand towards the salon, “is just plain silly. Sure for you it's fun and relaxin’, but for me, it's just silly. If the guys at the construction site ever saw this-”

“The guys at the construction site, is that what you're really concerned about? The guys?”

“Babe, you don't understand.”

“Yeah I get it Joel. God forbid you spend a day with your wife doing something relaxing. How embarrassing that would be for you.” You replied, letting anger seep into your words.

Joel let out a frustrated sigh saying “Nevermind, ya don't understand.”

You instantly felt a sting of jealousy at his concern, that being seen with his wife would cause him extreme discomfort. Joel hardly saw you anymore, and he never had a problem doing this stuff with you in the past. In a defeated tone you said, “Fine Joel, I get it. This is silly. But babe, we don't get to spend any time together.”

“And you thought that this was the best way to do it? A damn pedicure? Where the hell does this say ‘Joel Miller would love this,’ huh?” You watched him shake his head and look out the passenger window frustrated.

You felt your internal walls go up, wanting to shut down. To close yourself off from people who hurt you. You wanted to retreat back into the darkness of your mind, not allow anyone in again. You've struggled in life for far too long with this concept of not allowing others in. Joel was the only man who could break down those walls, and now you were struggling not to push him out.

In the past Joel used to do fun little things like this with you, even if they were silly. Hell, he was the first person to introduce you to the world of pedicures and massages when he dated you. It was the best activity the two of you could do with his young preteen daughter when he couldn't find a babysitter. You never minded back then as you just wanted to spend time with your boyfriend. You remember one time you were a little hesitant and Joel eased your nerves by saying ‘Come on darlin.' It doesn't matter what the guys at the construction site or anyone else says. I wanna spend time with you. I know this seems silly, but it'll be relaxin’. I can promise you that, so trust me.’ You found yourself repeating those exact same words to Joel now, begging with your eyes for him to remember.

“Honey, that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard as to why we should do this. Whoever said that to you was a liar and an idiot” he told you, shaking his head and laughing hard. You quickly looked away and felt the red hot burn in the back of your throat start. He didn't remember his time with you.

Joel had hardly been home for the past year. His business, Miller Contracting, signed the biggest contract in history about a year ago out of town. Joel was making a large amount of money, his business skyrocketing almost overnight after years of struggle. You, being his wife, were so proud of him, for his ability to never have to struggle with his business again. He had work lined up for the next 3 years for this big development company, and then he just recently signed two more large contracts for other companies. Joel finally had steady work for many more years to come. You knew that Joel Miller was finally set for life with his business. But you couldn't say the same thing for your marriage.

Joel used to do all these silly little things with you. It's what made hard times bearable in the past. But ever since a year ago your husband's attitude has changed. In the past year you felt like you had gone from Joel's loving wife, to a ‘thing’ or an ‘it’ to him.

“I guess you're right,” you said, looking out the window at the salon. You were trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come at the realization that life was different now. “I don't know what else we could do at the last minute.”

“Yeah, m’ither” Joel said while picking lint off his jeans and refusing to look at you in the face anymore.

“Joel, do you still want to do something with me today?” You waited in silence as he stared out the window, not answering you.

“Joel” you said a little bit louder, still trying for a connection. But yet again, no answer. Uncomfortable silence continued for several minutes, neither one of you uttering a single word. Finally, Joel broke first by exhaling loudly. He then closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat's headrest.

“Joel, are you still with me honey?” you asked one last time. When silence continued, that's when you understood that you had failed miserably at trying to have a fun and relaxing day.

“I'll just take you home then, leave you alone, and let you rest.” You mumbled out loud, more to yourself. “God y/n, why are you so fucking stupid. If he didn't want to do stuff with you before, he sure as hell won't want to do anything with you now. Stupid, stupid, silly girl.”

What you didn't realize was that you verbalized your internal turmoil, and the man sitting next to you heard it. Joel hated hearing you berate yourself, a bad habit that you picked up from your father and your father's now divorced ex-wife. Joel knew that he was the cause of your current stress and anxiety. After all, he was the asshole who was never home and when he was, you two were always arguing and fighting all the time. Sure, you’ve had some amazing days like Halloween night and a promise of a week ago in the car, something that he never followed through with because he got called away to deal with shit at work. He was failing you as your partner and your husband, but most of all he was failing you as your best friend. You were his best friend, the only person that he loved spending time with. It was just today he didn’t feel up to this silly stuff you wanted to do. He knew he was the one who introduced you to this stuff with Sarah all those years ago, and that today you were just reaching for familiar territory.

Joel sat there with his eyes closed and continued to listen to you berate yourself out loud. Why does she fucking do this to herself, she knows better, he thought. He was just about to open his mouth and yell at you to knock it off when he heard you whisper “Baby, I don’t know how to tell your daddy that you’re in there. How can I when your daddy and I can't seem to find common ground anymore.”

As soon as he heard your little admission, at the potential of you being pregnant again, Joel snapped his eyes open and looked over at you. How did I not notice this, he thought. He immediately started scanning over your body, looking for any signs that he may have missed. When he stopped and really looked at you he saw them. Your black t-shirt sat more snug around your chest, he could see that your breasts were slightly swollen. Your curves were more profound, not from fat, but from water weight he suspected. Your tummy, a little pouch forming low on your belly. That's a baby, he thought. His baby, the one he put there on Halloween night. You always started to show really early on in your pregnancy. According to your doctor it was extra water weight, but to Joel it was a sign of life. Something that he hasn’t seen your body do for many years, considering your youngest boy was now seven.

Joel continued to trail his eyes slowly back up your features. He noticed the dark circles underneath your eyes. You weren’t sleeping and that worried him. You two had lost a baby before when you were 22 weeks along, a little girl that came a year before your youngest boy. He had given you two boys, but he knew you always wanted to try again for a little girl. But somehow life got in the way and you two never tried for a girl again. He was hoping this time around it was a girl.

With remembering your past pregnancies, Joel wondered how you were feeling. He knew the first stages of pregnancy were hard on you. You’d hardly sleep or eat, nausea being the worst culprit. With Joshua, your youngest, you could hardly keep anything down during the entire pregnancy. God, he hoped that wasn’t your fate now. At least he was making enough money to cover all the living expenses, in case you weren't able to work through it like before.

Joel then allowed his eyes to roam higher up to your eyes, that's when he saw that they were bloodshot. You were crying and berating yourself because of how he made a stupid comment, that he was embarrassed being seen with you at doing a pedicure. Jesus Joel, you’re such a fucking asshole sometimes, he thought.

He sat there and watched you for a moment, at your struggle to try to stop the tears that were falling from your eyes. Seeing this, hearing your confession and actually looking at you, at how stressed out you were made his heart ache. He hated to see you cry, and yet you've been doing that a lot recently, thanks to him.

"Come on, darlin,'’ you heard Joel say. “My back and feet don't have all day. Let's get this salon pampering day started.”

"Joel it's ok, we don't have to-" you said, wiping the tears from your eyes.

"No," he said. "It's a perfect idea honey, the best way to relax. I'm so sorry for snapping. I'm just- fuck baby, I'm stressed and struggling to find a proper balance between both worlds. Now come on darlin.’” Joel said, while giving your hand a tender kiss. As you both walked towards the salon, Joel gently intertwined his fingers with yours. He gave small soothing strokes with his thumb, reassuring you that he was here and present for you.

Soon Joel found himself staring at a wall with different colors of nail polish. He was being directed by you to choose a color that he wanted his toes to be painted with. "Darlin', the lady at the counter said I don't need to pick out colored nail polish."

"Tough cowboy, you're doing it. Plus it'll show support to women everywhere if you do." You tried your hardest to give him a convincing answer of why you wanted him to do this. He just looked at you and smirked, seeing straight through your attempt.

“Supportin' women has nothin' to do with it. Ya just want to laugh at me, that's all." He said, shaking his head at your attempt with reasoning with him. Why do I always get myself in these situations with her? But as he glanced over he saw you smiling ear to ear. You were practically jumping for joy at the thought of having a couples massage and couples pedicure with him. That's when he knew that all of this was worth it, especially if he could see you look happy and smile like that again.

As you were wiggling in Joel's arms laughing you happened to accidentally brush your hand up against his clothed crotch, and that's when you felt it, a firm prominent bulge. As soon as your hand brushed up against him you heard Joel let out a hiss at the sensation. He then gently nudged his hips against your hand while giving you a little whimper.

“Joel, how long has it been?” you asked, slowly palming him in the front. You were concerned, Joel was never this sensitive to sensation before and he's never whimpered like that just by the meer push of your palm. Oh, poor baby, you thought, you weren't the only one who had been neglected. You palmed him harder, trying to show him what you wanted. You felt him twitch and throb beneath you. “Baby, how long?” you whispered, pushing harder with your hand as he rutted up into you, seeking out more friction.

��Too long,” he panted. “It's been too fucking long since I, since we, fuck woman” he growled and snapped his hips forward, desperately seeking pleasure from you. He wanted to open his pants and tell you to get down on your knees and to suck his cock. He wanted to fuck your mouth so bad, then bend you over one of those salon chairs and bury himself inside of you. He wanted to show you he could be the man you needed, and be the father for your children. He wanted to put a baby inside of your nice soft-

“Baby, when was your last period?” Joel said, stopping his movements and racing mind for a moment. When you didn't answer he continued by saying “I don't remember when you had your period last. Have you had one in the last two months?”

“Don't worry about it” you said, while slowly pulling your hand away. This was not a conversation you wanted to have right now.

You walked over to the side, a few feet away from Joel and you were pretending to look at the colors of nail polish. What you were really doing was trying to slow your pounding heart in your chest. Joel approached you and slowly started to stroke your little bump saying “how late are we talking mama, huh?”

“Joel it's only 10 am and-”

“S'not what I meant sugar and you know it. Come on mama, how far along are we?” Joel said, flattening his palm over your belly and holding it there.

You looked into your husband's eyes and saw compassion behind them. You were just about to open your mouth and tell him that you were 3 weeks late when someone said “Y/n and Joel Miller, they're ready for you.”

As soon as you heard them call your names you backed away and grabbed the purple nail polish that was right in front of you. It reminded you of the first time you did this all those years ago with Sarah and him. It made you smile at the warm memory. This one is perfect, you thought. You handed it to Joel saying “I think this color would look great for the both of us.”

When Joel looked down he saw that the nail polish was purple with sparkles in it, your favorite color. When he glanced at your face he saw uncertainty in your eyes at the events that just played out. So with a grin and a squeeze from his large hand he grabbed the jar from you and said “Ok, purple it is. Now come on mama, let's go and get you nice and relaxed.”

Three hours later Joel was slowly relaxing. He was laying on his stomach, purple sparkly toe nails poking through the blanket, as a very attractive woman worked the hell out of his shoulders. Kiara, Joel's masseuse, was an expert in deep tissue massage. After the staff found out that he basically was one big hard tight knot, he was advised that deep tissue massage would be the best option.

"Aw darlin' right there," Joel said as Kiara worked on his lower back.

"Mr. Miller, you're so stiff and tight. It's gonna take me a bit to work you fully out. Does it feel better when I press right here?" Kiara asked, pushing on Joel's lower back, a place you knew turned your husband on.

"Ah yeah, right there" Joel grunted at the sensation.

You were on your own massage table being worked on by Fredrick, a middle aged man with a beer gut. While Joel had Kiara, a 42 year old big breasted, fully fit porn star looking woman. You know, the type of women your husband likes to look at when he's browsing those adult only sites.

As you continued to watch Kiara flirt with your husband, you felt your insecurities creep up into your skull, worrying you. You had no idea if Joel would be ok with this unplanned pregnancy. You knew the old Joel would be ok with it. But now you had no idea how he'd react, especially with how he has behaved this past year. The longer this went on, the more your irrational fears seeped deep into your subconscious.

When Joel moaned for the third time in less than five minutes at Kiara asking him if something felt good, you found yourself snapping at your husband. "Joel, for the love of God, can you please just shut the hell up? Really, no one wants to hear how good it feels to have someone else touch you." You didn't know why, but you were upset, angry, and hurt all at the same time. Somehow hearing someone else pull those little sighs or grunts out of your husband bothered the hell out of you.

"Look here woman, I'm enjoying myself, ok? Your fault for making me do this. So pull back the attitude now." He said, snapping at you.

After a moment he added, "What's with your attitude anyways today, huh?"

"I don't know Joel, why don't you tell me."

"Look here missy, I don't know what's up your ass today. But whatever it is, it can just stop. Don't ruin this for me with your petty bullshit. Got it?" he said, with a warning in his voice.

"Petty bullshit, really? Are you kidding me Joel? You promised me you’d spend time with me today. And-”

“And what y/n? What more could you possibly want from me today than what I’m already giving you?”

When you didn't open your mouth to argue, Joel assumed the problem was solved. That you'd stop throwing your little temper tantrum. But what he didn't realize was that the emotion you were now feeling wasn't one of defiance. You were feeling neglected and you didn't want to do this day anymore. You thought you could have a fun day with your husband, like you used to when you two dated. But now, you just wanted to go home, and pretend that today and this past year never happened. You wanted your husband to be around, present more, and not treat you like you were someone who was a burden or a checkmark on a list. You wanted to pretend that your husband still cared.

When you counted it up, it had been almost two months since you and Joel had sex last. To make matters worse, your period was almost 3 weeks late. You were worried about what he'd say when he found out. You were pregnant, that much was evident on the pregnancy test that you had taken over a week ago. You knew that your fears right now were irrational, that you were just making something out of nothing. But to you your fears felt very real. And with Joel smiling and laughing so easily with Kiara, it made your stomach hurt and twist in knots at the thought that he didn't want you anymore.

You were so lost in your own head, that you didn’t notice that Fredrick had stopped massaging your back. He could sense how tense your body was, and the turmoil of feelings that you were feeling. "Mrs. Miller, are you ok?" he whispered. When you didn’t respond to him right away, he said louder “Mrs. Miller, are you ok?”

As soon as Joel heard the question from Fredrick he snapped his head to the side to look at you. When he saw you, you were laying face down, your hand up by your mouth as you were sobbing into the table. “Baby, are you ok?” Joel asked, worried and concerned of what made you fall apart like this.

"Yeah, I'm. I'm fine” you said, trying not to have your voice break. “Can you um- can you please excuse me. I gotta- I don’t feel well.” You then got up, and walked into the changing room that was attached, tears still streaming down your face.

As Joel watched you walk away he knew this little adventure the two of you were having today was over with. He apologized to Kiara and Fredrick, stating that the both of you would be leaving early. As he went to his own dressing room to get dressed, he started thinking to himself. He knew that you were stressed out a lot, and that the two of you were having problems. He also knew that you just wanted a day to relax with him, so seeing you like this broke his heart. You have cried a lot recently and he could understand why, but it still bothered him. He didn't mean to snap at you today, he was just stressed out himself. He began to realize though that his stressors and your stressors were drastically different.

Something was up with you, that much was certain. You were more sensitive and emotional recently. If he attempted to ask you about it, you'd just blow up at him. Usually when you were more emotional it meant that you were by or on your period. But Joel was confused, especially with seeing those other bodily signs that you were having. Were you pregnant and he just didn't see it? Or were you having flare ups of your gynecological problems again and he wasn't noticing it. He was so busy with work that he didn't remember if you had your period yet, that's why he asked you earlier today. He was trying to calm his own irrational fears of being an inattentive husband.

The problem was he didn't know what was off or how to fix it with you. If your admission earlier was true, that you were in fact pregnant, then why did you hide it from him and not tell him? Were you embarrassed in carrying his child? Joel was lost in thought, trying to figure out what he could do that he almost missed hearing you get sick in the other room. As soon as he heard the telltale signs of you throwing up he muttered to himself “shit,” and finished getting dressed.

While Joel was in his dressing room getting lost in thought, you were in yours doing the same thing. You quietly dressed in your changing room, trying to calm the tears that were flowing. As you looked down you noticed the little bump you had. You kept trying to flatten your shirt overtop of it, to hide it from the world. You weren’t upset that you were pregnant, you were just overwhelmed at the moment and didn't want to think about it. But the more you tried to suck in your gut, to flatten your shirt, you started to slowly panic. You tried tucking in your shirt, then you untucked it, nothing worked to hide what was growing inside of you. You couldn't hide the embarrassment of getting pregnant from a man who you didn’t think wanted you anymore. In your experience, which was limited, an unplanned pregnancy when there were marital problems never resulted in a happy ending for the mother or wife. As this realization hit you, you felt the bile rise up fast in your throat. Your hands were shaking, and you were drowning in your own irrational fears and anxiety. Worst part, no matter what you did you couldn't calm yourself down.

Tears began to flow hard again from your eyes as you tried anything to stop the anxiety from swallowing you whole. You felt like you were suffocating, drowning in a pool of uneasiness. Your vision went fuzzy, your ears started to ring, and the whole world started to spin on its axis. You reached out and were fumbling around the room, trying to find something to grab onto to center yourself. As soon as you grabbed the garbage can your knees buckled and you collapsed. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you felt the bile rise up fast again in your throat. You grabbed the garbage can just in time as your body heaved the entire contents out of your stomach into the trash.

You were retching so hard into the garbage, shaking with panic as tears flowed down your face that you never heard the door open and a man approach you. Your anxiety was swallowing you whole and you said with a breathless plea to yourself, in-between vomiting sessions, that you were scared and couldn't do this anymore. Then like a miracle from heaven, you felt those familiar rough hands gently reach out and center you once again.

When Joel entered the room his heart sank at seeing you collapsed on the ground and retching into the garbage can. You were pleading for someone to help you, to make the pain and anxiety stop. You were drowning in your own anxiety and it broke his heart. No one hurts my babies, he thought, especially him.

Joel slowly walked up to you and gently reached out to gather your hair into his hands. After he pulled it back from your face he placed one of his hands gently on your tummy, while whispering “Shh, mama. Take a breath. Come on now, you’re okay. I'm right here and I ain’t leavin’. Shhh.” He continued to rub soothing circles on your belly, right where the little bump was. When you were finished emptying the contents of your stomach Joel grabbed a towel and gently wiped your mouth saying “well, I thought that wasn’t gonna happen for a while yet.”

“What?” you said, confused, feeling completely worn out by today’s events.

“Baby, you do a bad job at hiding it.” Joel said with a smirk on his lips.

“Joel, I don’t know what you’re-” and then it dawned on you, he heard you. He heard your admission in the car that you were pregnant. As soon as that realization hit you, Joel watched your eyes go wide as you started to shake your head violently back and forth. You stood up and immediately started backing away from him, eyes blown wide with anxiety and panic once again.

Joel slowly stood up and watched you as realization took hold of you of your earlier admission. “Baby, take a breath for me, ok?” he said, trying to calm the fear and panic that you had. As he slowly approached you he said “sugar you gotta slow your breathing down, come here, let me help you.” He slowly reached out to you so you could center yourself.

“No, no, no. You can't know, I can't do this alone. Please God, why is this happening to me?” you said out loud, not wanting the world to fall apart around you. You didn’t want this discussion now, not when you didn’t know what you could do. You didn’t want him to kick you out, to say that you disappointed him, that you were a disappointment. Joel never said those words to you, your father did when he found out that you were dating his best friend. And the way your father dealt with it was to kick you out of the house, after he berated you in front of Joel. You knew Joel wasn't your father, but in this moment your father’s voice and Joel’s voice blurred together in your head.

When you felt your back hit the wall you knew that your running was over. You had to face the man in front of you, whether or not you wanted to. You instinctively wrapped your arms around your chest, hanging your head low when the sob that you’ve been holding back all day finally broke free from your chest and swallowed you whole. Your knees buckled and you started to fall to the floor like a ton of bricks sobbing hysterically saying “I can't be homeless again. I can't do this abuse again.”

Joel wasn't trying to scare you, he just wanted to center you and stop you from spiraling out of control. But when he saw your knees buckle he said “shit” and moved fast to catch you. He then wrapped his big arms around you, and pulled you tight to his chest as you let out all of the anxiety and frustration of the last several weeks.

“Come on now little one, don’t cry” he said, calling you a nickname he hasn’t called you for a long time.

“I’m sorry Joel, I’m sorry” you kept saying, as you let out all of your pent up anxiety.

“No. Come on baby, don’t say that. You got nothin’ to be sorry for. Let's slow your breathing down, yeah? Alright little one, how ‘bout you breathe with me.” He said, speaking softly into your ear. You felt him slowly lower his hand to the small of your back, rubbing tiny circles on your skin, attempting to quiet your tears. You also started to match his breathing with long inhales and slow exhales.

After listening to him breathe and matching his breathing for a while he slowly lowered his hand to your belly and gently started stroking it. You then heard Joel whisper in your ear, “I love you baby, no matter what. I need you to know that I’ll never leave you, no matter what. Ok?”

When you didn’t respond he took a step back, bent down and looked you straight in the eyes. You nodded your head slightly, attempting a weak smile as you finally had calmed yourself down. He stared at you for a moment, assessing your features to see if you truly were done with your panic attack or if you still were in it. When he realized that you weren’t going into another one, he gently tucked you into his side and whispered “ok mama, how ‘bout we get you home so you can lay down and relax. You've had a tough day honey.”

After a few silent minutes of gathering your things together, eventually the two of you started to walk for the exit of the changing room. Before you exited the doorway you said “Joel um- I got something I wanna say.”

Joel stopped and looked down at you, gently nodding his head. This was it, the moment you were going to say that you were pregnant. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. You started to panic and overthink things again. What happens if he’s mad at me and yells at me again? You were silently having an internal tug-o-war with yourself.

Inside Joel was frustrated with himself that you couldn’t be honest with him. He was silently scolding himself for creating this environment in which you didn’t feel 100% comfortable with talking with him. Something that he promised himself that he would change, starting right now. As he stood there and watched you play tug-o-war with your mind, he tried to give you the warm environment of being relaxed, yet his own stomach was churning and twisting itself into knots.

“Joel, uh-”

“Yes darlin’” he said, coaxing you gently to speak.

“I- uh. Shit.” you couldn’t do it, no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t say the words ‘Joel I’m pregnant.’

Joel could see that you weren't ready, but he wanted to give you the reassurance that you needed. He reached his hand out and gently placed it on your belly, on top of the little bump and said “I know mama, it's scary. You can tell me in your own time when you feel comfortable, yeah? Just know that no matter what, I love you.”

He gently kissed the top of your head, and with a smile he ushered you out towards the front desk. He sent you out to the car to relax as he squared away the fees for you being sick. When he got back into the car he groaned for a moment at the feeling of his back tightening up again.

“I don’t get how ya women think this is relaxin’.” He said, looking over at the salon as he put the car in reverse. “My back feels like it’s in a million more knots now. Shit.”

With a small smirk you said “Joys of deep tissue massage honey.”

“Yeah well, I feel like I went 20 rounds with that damn massage table. It kicked my ass good and hard too. This relaxin’ stuff is hard work hon.” Joel said, slightly groaning while having another back spasm.

“No, I just think it means that you're an old grumpy man,” you said, nonchalantly.

Joel was stopped at the light, waiting for it to turn green. He glanced over at you, eyes wide at your statement of him being an old grumpy man. “S’not funny babe,” he grumbled.

“Well honey, it's the truth” you whispered, as you softly kissed his cheek. “At least we know this still works” you added, giving him a playful bite to his ear as you gently cupped your husband's crotch. You palmed him for a moment and felt him slowly enlarge at your words.

“Does that feel good baby?” You asked in a sultry tone, as you slowly stroked your husband's cock through his jeans.

“Ya already know it does,” he said, in a husky voice.

You gave him one more chaste kiss and a firm squeeze before you removed your hand. As you slowly turned your head to look out the window you felt your husband's hand on your thigh. He was rubbing small soothing circles there. It was his way of reassuring you that he cared and was still here for you. You lightly grabbed his hand and placed it firmly against your lower tummy, humming as he began to stroke your little bump there too. You couldn't verbalize it to him yet, but this was your silent way of reassuring him that you were in fact pregnant.

Joel melted into this touch, the feel of your little bump, of his baby growing inside of you. This small simple measure finally calmed his fears. He knew that you loved him and that he loved you. No matter what he was going to be there for you and help you through this. Even though he was 52, and you were 37, and having an unexpected pregnancy was never ideal. Joel loved you and this little baby more than anything. As he silently rubbed your tummy he thought to himself everything is gonna be alright. And I can't believe that I'm gonna be a dad again ❤️

-End Part 3 Prologue-

A/N: More will come in the future with these two (proper chapters) as we take them through their pregnancy journey together. If you're interested in reading their origin story, make sure to check out the other series titled Love Never Fails coming out January 2024.

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3lazeit @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

237 notes · View notes

yxtubers · 1 year ago

Text

✩ ABC's

𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞!

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?)

in public, not much. the most he’ll do is maybe hold pinkies or have an arm around you/on you - but at home he is allll over you. literally will lay his head on your shoulder whenever he can, kisses (esp forehead ones) are a must, too. he basically cannot bear to be away from you when you guys are alone.

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?)

he’s your boyfriend, but first and foremost, he’s your best friend (corny, whatever). he really values deep relationships with people and if he can’t talk to you like you’re his friend, then he’s most likely not dating you. he wants you guys to be able to goof off and be comfortable around each other. definitely likes to do stupid stuff with you like trying to cook and failing miserably.

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (how do they like to cuddle?)

you could not waterboard this information out of him but he is 100% the little spoon. he likes to lay his head on your stomach or lap, have your arms around him from behind - all that jazz. he also definitely mumbles in his sleep when you guys cuddle, especially if he’s extremely comfortable. he also loves when you scratch his scalp or back to help him fall asleep. and for you, he likes to draw shapes on your torso with his fingers - it just relaxes him for some reason.

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?)

matt is definitely a family-oriented person so he knows that if you two end up getting married he’d want to settle down with you and eventually have kids. he helps a lot around the house, especially with things like laundry (duh), dishes, anything that involves cleaning. he hates cooking though, but will do it if it’s necessary - he just prefers your food over his. also hates folding laundry and mopping. he’s mostly a dishes, laundry, vacuum kinda guy.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how would breakups work out?)

he wouldn’t hold any resentment or hard feelings (unless it ended badly). basically very civil. generally i think he wouldn’t go out of his way to contact you if things break off, but he’ll occasionally check on you or ask your friends about you if he can. he’d still hold some love for you in his heart, but ultimately he wouldn’t really want to stay friends.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how do they feel about commitment?)

absolutely knows he’s going to marry you some day if you guys are long term. he wouldn’t be a fan of getting married young but if you guys are still together in the future he could see himself being with you for the rest of his life. commitment is a big deal to him and i think he’d appreciate someone who is the same.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?)

it’s matt like… he’s a sweetheart. he doesn’t treat you like you’re fragile, but more like you’re something special to be admired. you’ll catch him staring at you all lovey dovey sometimes to which he’d blush and turn away from. other times he’ll caress your cheeks before going in to peck you on the forehead or lips. all in all he leaves feather light touches everywhere he goes (because he knows you deserve to be treated with care and love).

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (do they like hugs?)

is this even a question? he may not be all that touchy with his friends or with you in public but if you offer a hug he can never deny it. he’s a sucker for having you close to him. he likes feeling cherished and safe, and that’s how he feels when you embrace him. you are the living embodiment of his safe space.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how long does it take them to say the ‘l word?’)

i think it would take him a while to say it out loud. it’s not that he didn’t develop those feelings - he actually knew he loved you pretty early on into the relationship. he just doesn’t want to scare you off by saying it too soon, so he actually waits for you to say it first. but once that first ‘i love you’ passes, he’s saying it all the time. in his good morning texts, whenever he leaves for a meeting, whenever he ends a call. all. the. time.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (how do they get jealous?)

matt doesn’t get jealous often. he trusts you wholeheartedly and he expects the same from you. the only time he would get jealous is if you were like overly touchy with a friend or something, but other than that he really isn’t worried about stuff like that. he knows you love your friends and you show that through affection - he would never in a million years be jealous of that. not when he knows that you’re his, and he’s yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (what's their kissing schedule?)

sorry to burst the bubble here but i honestly don’t think he’d be a big kisser. he loves to kiss your hands, forehead, cheeks, etc. but kissing on the lips is only reserved for when you guys are chilling in his room alone. ofc if you ask for one or initiate it he won’t decline - because he does enjoy kissing you. he just prefers to keep that stuff private, so on a day-to-day basis it won’t really happen often since you guys are almost always with his brothers.

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?)

he definitely adores kids, he just finds them so adorable. kids love him because of his calm nature, and he’ll happily do whatever with them if it means it’ll make them laugh or smile - even if it’s a princess makeover. however, he does get a little awkward sometimes since he’s not sure how to act around other people’s kids, but he’s still an absolute angel to them.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how will your mornings go?)

usually if he wakes up before you he’ll scroll on tiktok while stroking your hair. he likes to enjoy the mornings with you since it’s one of the only times you two can be fully alone. you guys will watch videos or listen to a podcast or something while you cuddle and get ready for the day. he also loves brushing his teeth with you - he just melts for domestic stuff like that because it makes him feel like you guys already live together.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how will your nights go?)

typically he’ll get you guys some food before calling it a night and retreating to his room. he’ll put on a movie or a show that you both strictly ONLY watch together. you guys will cuddle up and make dumb jokes about what’s going on on the TV. this always ends up with you two fallen asleep before the end of the movie, the low buzz of dialogue like a lullaby in the background.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they tell you about themselves?)

if you start off as friends i think he opens up way faster than if you don’t. due to the fact that you’d be hanging around him and his friends and brothers, he’d open up way easier because he feels comfortable around the company that you’re in. he’ll still take a while, but he definitely becomes more talkative before you enter a relationship - since he believes that you both shouldn’t go into dating each other blindly. he wants you to know the ugliest parts of him, and him you. that way he’ll know he really wants to be with you, because you’ll accept him for who he is - and vice versa. he’s very in tune with his emotions. although it would take him a while to feel comfortable crying in front of you (not because he’s ashamed, but he physically can’t cry in front of people).

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they with you?)

this man needs an award for his patience. matt has had enough experience with his brothers to have mastered the art of it. but also, he just doesn’t like the idea of pressuring you. if you don’t want to do something, or go somewhere - he will immediately accept it, no questions asked. if you stutter a lot or just have trouble speaking he’s always there to help you, no matter how frustrated you are. also, this goes without saying, but he’s extremely understanding and patient of any mental health problems you have.

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much do they remember about you?)

i feel like i don’t even have to say anything. he remembers every little detail about you. your favourite colour, your mom’s maiden name, your childhood pet’s name. he knows what you’re afraid of, where you like to eat, he remembers every important date of your relationship - and any significant dates for you, too. he writes them down in his journal so he remembers but he honestly doesn’t have to. it’s like he has a little file reserved just for you in his brain because he knows everything.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (what is his favorite moment in your relationship?)

it would definitely have to be right before you two got together. his most vivid memory of your early relationship is the first time that you guys had a genuine, deep conversation together. you were sat by the pool late at night, both of your feet dangling in the water below you as you spilled your souls to each other. that was coincidentally also the night that he first held your hand and asked you on a date.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they of you?)

he’s protective, but not in a male alpha toxic way. he just wants to know that you’re safe and happy. he’ll always drive you home and wait for you to get inside before he drives off - if you’re out with your friends and you need a ride, he’s there, if you go home with a taxi he asks you to update him so he knows you’re okay. if, on the off chance that you absolutely have to walk, he’ll stay on face-time with you with your location shared on his phone so that he can make sure you make it home alright.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into dates? special occasions?)

plans dates literally weeks in advance. he always just wants things to be 100% perfect for you because you deserve nothing less. he loves to surprise you with nice things if you're going out for your anniversary or birthday. also he's just a sucker for seeing you all smiley and giddy so he will sit and plans for a month if that's what it takes. one month he couldn't make it back home in time for your birthday (so he said) but that morning you woke up to him cuddled into your side, his luggage at the end of the bed. apparently he "made some adjustments" so that he could come and see you.

— 'U' IS FOR UGLY (what's a bad habit of theirs?)

he bites his nails. a lot. that’s why he always asks you to paint his nails with him; it helps him stop nibbling on them. it’s usually because of his anxiety but over the years it just became a habit that he hasn’t been able to kick. he’s tried several remedies but the only thing that seems to help is painting his nails nicely - because then they’re just too pretty to ruin!

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they?)

he doesn’t get insecure often but when he does it’s bad. he’d get really anxious, and he’d probably feel a little stupid for it - he’ll always eventually let you know what’s going on if it does happen. you’re the only person that can really comfort him when this occurs, because his brothers don’t really know what to say to bring his ego up, especially if it’s about his looks or how he is as a boyfriend. overall though, he doesn’t get insecure about your relationship too much. he knows he’s a great boyfriend, and he knows that you love him just as much as he loves you.

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?)

again, not even a question. similar to how he feels when he’s without nick and chris (but to a lesser extent) is how he feels when you’re not around. he just feels like he’s not whole. especially if he sees something he knows you’d find funny or enjoy and you’re not there to experience it with him he’ll get a little upset - mostly when he’s on tour and you can’t come.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (a random headcanon about them?)

i think he’d love if you drew on him - and also head scratches. he’ll sometimes just straight up ask you to doodle on him when you’re bored. he really just loves to see what you come up with, and he likes sporting around your drawings like a badge of honour. also if you give him head scratches and have your nails done? he’s a goner.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (what are some things they dislike?)

he absolutely hates hates hates being messy. sure, he’ll leave his shoes lying around occasionally or forget to throw wrappers away - he’s not a saint - but he always goes back and fixes it/cleans it up. he just can’t stand being in a dirty environment. also, he doesn’t really put many condiments on his food. if he does it’s like… minuscule.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (some of their sleeping habits?)

as i mentioned before, matt is a mumbler. he won’t say flat out sentences but you’ll catch him sleepily muttering gibberish before he falls back asleep and is knocked out cold. he also likes to sleep in. he could not be an early bird if he tried. i feel like he also likes to curl up when he sleeps, especially if you’re cuddling. he’ll curl up into your side, or both of you will, whilst facing each other, blankets up to your chins as you fall into a peaceful slumber.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @lollibumblebee @dwntwn-strnlo @st4rgzer @20nugs @thetriplets3 @sunshinewwx @gwenlore @gabbylovesreading @ssturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @mxqdii @slaysturniolo @rainsoakedphoenix @querenciasturniolo

©𝐬𝐭𝐯𝐫𝐧𝐢𝟎𝐥𝐨

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #stvrni0lo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x reader

300 notes · View notes

konaiiro · 3 months ago

Text

AU if Ian is in the military and Mickey is inevitably waiting for him.

Started as a sketch then i got carried away. For A.U.gust (Hosted by @gallavichthings). Some accompanying drabble bc I fell in love when drawing them:

The last time Ian Gallagher was back home, he was doing time at Cook County for breaking parole. Only for a couple months, but Micky had missed the man by a week when he had left for another tour. A failed drug test had just costed him more than he was ready to pay. Ian had come to visit him anyways, wore his camouflage gear with badges and all; the security guards always loved a man in uniform. Still, it hadn’t been the same through the glass. So close he could see Ian’s chest rise and fall, his dimples sliding on to his face with amusement as Mickey had ranted on about his cellmate - so close to touch but all he could do was pretend until the fifteen minutes were up.

This time, Ian hadn’t even told him he was in town - only finding out when he opened his front door with a beer in hand with a singlet and boxers on. “Hey, Mick.”

He knew his face must’ve looked stupid because Ian cracked up before going in for a hug. Micky let him, not giving a shit about his family inside and folded his own arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. He had never gotten changed so quickly, desperate to get Ian to himself, as the man lounged on his bed and pretended he wasn’t watching Mickey by fiddling around with the decade-old kunai knifes. They stopped for booze and a pack of smokes on the way. After a quick makeout against the alley wall, the two of them continued on, pushing and shoving to give each other a reason to touch. It didn’t really matter where they went, as long as it was just them where Mikey could do more than take glances at Ian’s army issued cargos. He looked good - ginger hair shaved on the sides, his shirt fit snug, skin tanned as much his pale Irish genes let it. There was the scar too - a slash across his cheek that won’t fade completely. Ian hadn’t mentioned it, so he wouldn’t either.

They dumped their haul on a secluded bench and drank a disgusting whiskey-and-orange juice combo. Ian said it was good enough, but Mickey blamed that on the moonshine shit that he must’ve usually had on hand in the middle of trying not to get shot. They didn’t talk about his tours, in the same way they didn’t talk about court mandates or prison or deals gone wrong. The closest was if there was a stupid story to get a laugh out of each other. No point in talking about all the fucked-up stuff in their lives - they’ve only got until Ian has to leave again. The two of them drank some more, smoked a bit, kissed, jerked each other off until Ian turned around, placing the barely alive joint into Mickey’s mouth before bending him over the bench. They had a lot to catch up on.

Before this last tour, Micky had been in prison. Two tours ago, they had first held each other in Ian’s childhood bedroom, knuckles split and bodies bruised from the brawl with Terry. He tried not to think about how his life was now segmented into pieces by the brief lapses of Gallagher being back in town - even if it was true. Micky thought about the inevitable homecoming party for Ian at the Alibi tonight and tried not to think about how two weeks was not a long time at all.

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless us #shameless #gallavich fanart #a.u.gust #Gallavich A.U.gust 2024 #A.U.gust #konaiiro writings

66 notes · View notes

danikamariewrites · 1 year ago

Text

Azriel x adhd!Reader

A/n: As someone with ADHD I struggle with a lot of stuff like my emotions and daily tasks. I like talking about it bc I don’t think it should be taboo and I hate the stigmatism around it that it’s just people being lazy. If your struggling with ADHD or any other mental health problems know you’re not alone ❤️

Warnings: mentions of mental health struggles, some angst

At first Azriel didn’t understand why your mood could be so up and down all the time. Or why you struggled with getting out of bed some days and others you had so much energy you didn’t know what to do with it.

You didn’t like loud noises, being touched unless you wanted too, and some textures overwhelmed your senses causing you to lash out.

You have a hard time communicating your feelings and he does too, which makes you both frustrated when one of you just brushes the other off or is passive aggressive.

Azriel notices you space out sometimes or that when he’s talking to you, you ask him to repeat things because you didn’t hear him. He thinks it’s odd but brushes it off as you just being preoccupied. He also picks up on your fidgeting but never thought anything of it

One day you both snap at each other resulting in the worst fight you’ve ever had

Azriel ends up going to Rhys for advice because he doesn’t want some stupid fight on a random Monday to be the reason you break up

Azriel tells his brother about the issues that have been building up over the last few months and Rhys, who’s been one of your best friends since childhood, tells him you’ve always been that way

He doesn’t go into detail, it’s your story to tell, but he does tell Az about when you were younger and your parents had Madja come give you a few tests. He remembered being a little nervous for you but you were fine. You just needed a little extra help and attention with things because your brain works differently

Azriel instantly feels bad that he didn’t know

“It’s ok Az, she didn’t even tell me until we were teenagers.” Rhys says sympathetically. “Yeah but I’m the one that’s supposed to be there for her, not get angry with her.” Rhys hugs his brother, insisting he stay the night and that time apart will do you both good

The next morning Az comes home to you baking in the kitchen

You had to move around or the thoughts of Azriel not coming home because you were too much of a burden were going to eat you alive

When you see him you try to apologize but he cuts you off asking if you could sit down and talk

“I don’t want to push, but Rhys told me about when you were younger and the testing with Madja.” He says gently

You take a deep breath, trying to blink your tears away

Sometimes it’s hard for you to talk about your ADHD because you hate to seem weak or different

But you’ve held back long enough and if you didn’t tell Azriel soon you knew you would get worse trying to mask it

You tell him everything. how your energy goes up and down, your depression and that it’s worse because you can’t find the energy to do things

You feel useless sometimes because you forget things or because you don’t listen

He hugs you as you cry into his chest, “I just feel so guilty being this way. I’m sorry Az.”

He brushes away your tears, “It’s ok my love. I know I don’t communicate well either. And I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt this way. It must’ve been killing you to keep it in.”

From that point forward Azriel was always there to make things better

Your communication improved and fights or the silent treatment became very rare

You weren’t afraid to tell him if something was bothering you or if you needed extra help or attention from him

Azriel and his shadows could pick up if you were being overstimulated or stressed out, so there were times you didn’t even need to ask

If you were out with the group and became uncomfortable Azriel would take you somewhere quite to help calm your anxiety

He’d wrap his wings around you so it would be dark and quite, helping slow your panicked breathing

“It’s ok baby, take a deep breath.” “That’s it, in and out, don’t rush.” “Here feel my heartbeat, can we try and match it?”

If you didn’t like how your sweater or dress was feeling that day he would be there with a back up or give you his own

“Are you sure Az, I don’t want to take it from you then you’ll be cold.” “Don’t worry about me baby, I just want you to be comfortable. Plus I’m built for the cold, Illyrian remember?”

Whenever you start fidgeting it’s usually if you’re bored or nervous. Azriel always keeps a little fidget toy or a pen on him so you can hold it and focus your energy on that. He knows you hate being thought of as a distraction and you think it’s better to focus on a small thing in your hands rather than swinging your feet or pushing your chair around

You thought him knowing about your ADHD would change how he feels about you or treat you differently. You bring this up to him one night in bed, “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. You’re still perfect to me, my love. You just need extra help sometimes and it’s ok to ask for help.”

#acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar #azriel acotar #acotar imagine #azriel x reader #acotar headcanon #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel x you #azriel headcanons #acotar reader fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic

460 notes · View notes

themotherofblood · 11 months ago

Note

Omg I love your Bloody Baby series! Could I request like an update where maybe reader is in danger and gets hurt and ends in fluff? If anything I would just love more updates 😭😍🥰

you asked and I deliver :)

warnings: blood!! (duh) major injuries, not very realistic but in fanfic so don’t give me a hard time. just lots of gory blood stuff okay :)

synopsis: Nyra and Daemon go out hunting for The Seven, Nyra gets poisoned and ends up hurting baby (badly!) Daemon saves the day,

masterlist | bloody baby series | vampire au

A/N: I’m in hurt/comfort mood.

There was nothing, they had been at it for a week— shady fuckers never stayed out long enough to leave a scent.

Daemon had to raise a toast to their religious determination for sure, spending over a millennia hunting them— their kind. Wasn’t an easy task to keep up with a growing population, they had another reason for their relentless search this time. A secret that was hidden so well even they couldn’t find it, a possibility of cure from the last Great Weirwood tree.

A tree that should have burnt when the Night King was taken down, but its own powers saved it. The blasted thing was out there, somewhere far north, even modern technology had not ventured that far out and neither could they.

“There is nothing, two weeks and nothing!” Rhaenyra sighs into the phone.

There was news of a deal being struck at a very special kind of apothecary, and if the Seven pokes their heads out now, when they are more exposed then ever. It would have been for a damn good reason.

“We should head home, lingering will do us no good.” Daemon hummed, circling the hotel room where his enemies laid in.

Rhaenyra hums on the other end, a faint sound a zipper rumbles on the other end before she speak again.

“Be careful my love.”

“Always.”

Rhaenyra let go of her phone, picking up her bags to carry them to her car. She missed home, it wasn’t like she could sleep— ever. But she missed the feeling of laying in a soft plush bed with her husband on one end and you in the other. She missed the touch of pure human warmth against her skin, the sound of a beating heart under her.

Her senses however caught a whiff of something else, the deceived tug of something being missing, something looming around the corner bothered her. She froze by the door of the abandoned building, her ears hearing everything from miles away, cars, motorbikes, children crying and a dog howling. Nothing went unheard, just like the distant sound of a thudding heart. Very prominent by the second.

Out of the blue, a hooded man comes at her, too powerful for human but not quite quick enough as she dodges his blow, grunting as she whacks her bag against the side of this man. From behind her, the sounds of gunfire echo, pointed wooden bullets lodge themselves into her back.

Motherfuc—

Painful, effective but not enough to take down a vampire of her calibre. She reaches down to duck more shots, tearing the heel of her shoes and launching it at the person with the gun. The pointed heel launching itself straight in their neck, blood guzzling out of their mouth as the person fell to the floor twitching, succumbing to death.

The second man still taking his shots at her, pushing her hard against the cement walls of the building.

Rhaenyra’s hand curled around his neck, hoping to tear his head off his shoulders.

The man bares his fangs out wide, snarling before digging into Rhaenyra’s throat, pulling a chuck out in the process.

She screams, kicking the man’s knee so hard it breaks— he falls to the floor grunting. A bloody smile to his face as he accepts that he has no way out.

Rhaenyra huffs before plunging her hand deep into his chest, pulling the his frosted red heart out of its cavity, letting his body grey into nothing.

Pain radiated through Rhaenyra’s body as she reached behind to pull the six wooden bullets out of her back, the wounds small enough to stop bleeding immediately but her throat, it was throbbing in pain.

She had to feed, she had to go home. The wound was healing but she hadn’t feed enough for it to heal entirely of its own. She stumbled out of the building, using a piece of her torn dress to stop the bleeding as she some how managed to speed home. The sheer will of not wanting to kill an innocent took her home, to the vast fridge of blood bags waiting for her.

The car seat she sat on was soaked in blood as she grunted out of her BenZ, she looked up to her castle and suddenly her perspective shifted. She turned behind for a moment, her car no longer there but an ornate carriage. She shook her head hard, this time she saw her car.

With relief she stumbled into the castle, making beeline for the kitchens as quietly as she could, she didn’t want to wake you. She didn’t want you to see her like this— you couldn’t cope from the blood and she knew it.

When she opened the doors to the kitchen, instead of very modern stainless steel appliances she was treated to stone walls, massive pots placed on wooden stoves, the aprons of maids hung by the door. She shook her head once more.

Kitchen— her kitchen

She proceeded to rip open the door into her walk in bridge of all the blood she could want, she reached for the first bag closest to her and took a big swig— her pain dissipating for a moment as she rested her hot head against the ice cold fridge shelf. She took two more swigs before reaching for two more bags and exiting the fridge.

She was once again greeted to a medieval stone kitchen. This time she was terrified

What was happening to her

The open wound on her neck began to rip into her, she screamed in agony as she fell to her knees.

The blood pooling around her in the kitchen, she peeled her eyes open, trying to compose herself enough to call for Daemon.

She was still created by an old kitchen and woman she wished she had killed with her own bare hands.

Few feet from her stood Alicent, a bloody smirk on her face and a stake in her hand.

You woke up to the sound of crockeries rattling, other than a few security detail outside. No one should be home.

You tried to rub the sleep away from your eyes as a certain excitement filled your chest.

They were home

You happily pulled yourself out of bed, wrapping your fuzzy teal robe around you and taking your water cup along with you as you padded down the cold tiled hallway and down the main stairs.

You heard more thrashes, wondering if it was Rhaenyra and Daemon yet again very passionately professing their love for one another. It seemed a hobby of theirs to completely destroy a room as they fucked away their fill.

What you were met with instead was bloody footsteps, dragging from the main doors headed towards the kitchen. This time you were cautious, reaching for the closest silent alarm in the main foyer and picking up an old heavy candle stand. You know you shouldn’t, you should go upstairs and lock yourself in there until help comes, but then you see more blood—puddles of it leading into the kitchen.

You see a hand poking right out from the kitchen doors, as you turn the corner you see your detail, men dressed in black clothes— dead men dressed in black blood soaked clothes.

One body, two body.

When you move into the kitchen, you hear rustling behind the massive kitchen island. You hold the candle stand with both hands in front of you, ready to swing it at whoever was behind it. As you turn another corner, you find silver hair soaked in blood and a distinct red colour of a dress.

“R-Rhaenyra?” You stuttered, fear losing itself so deep in your bones but also concern as she turns to you.

Then you see it, the hefty chuck on her neck oozing blood as she sucked the blood out of one of the dead men meant to be protecting you.

Her eyes are dark, face stained red with chucks of flesh hanging from her lips.

“Wh—“

“Run.”

“L-Let me help you.” You whimpered.

“D-darling I need you to run.” She cries.

“But”

“I said go away!” She screams at you, eyes red and wild.

Tears pour from your eyes as you hesitate, you begin to walk backwards, everything in you wanting to fix Rhaenyra— to be with her until Daemon returns but as you keep walking back. You foot slips in the puddle of blood and you fall backwards, hitting your head at the edge of the island in the process before splashing into the thick red liquid.

Rhaenyra turns to you once more, she was there one moment and she shook her head again.

This time she charges at you, landing on top of you as you push her face away screaming.

“Rhaenyra please!” You cry out, hoping that she is in there somewhere.

You however were no match to her strength, she easily caught onto your wrist— a little pressure from her end and then throbbing pain shot through your arm.

In the moment of adrenaline, you reached next to you, giving Rhaenyra the perfect aim for your jugular. She bites in as more pain shoots up your spine.

This time you catch onto the jagged candle stand and stab her right through the back, Rhaenyra retreats, sitting over you but you don’t hesitate and plunge your weapon straight to her heart.

Rhaenyra freezes, the veins in her body go blue as she crumbles next you, her body grey and eyes life less.

You had no time to witness what you had done, some how without slipping in the pool of blood again you race out of the kitchen and up the stairs into your room and then your closet. Using your entire body to push a white dresser in front of the door before cowering behind the rack of coats.

The aderaline still coursing through your body, you look at your bent wrists, you cry out— the blood covering you and Rhaenyra.

She wasn’t there but—

You killed her

Daemon had already been driving home, after collecting some more information from his insiders he too shared the same need to lay in the arms of the two women he loved. The streets were dead enough from him to feel the might of his car’s engine as he blasted music.

What caught him off guard however was the security alarm notification that popped up on his watch, if he wasn’t already flooring the gas he sure was now. Racing to get home, Rhaenyra should have been home by now— that gave his heart some comfort but he sped nonetheless.

What he was greeted with was gruesome, cruel. His eyes were seeing things but he couldn’t process them.

Blood to the kitchen and blood up the stairs.

“Rhaenyra!”

“Y/N!”

He screamed, within a second he was in the kitchen. The room stunk of death, the bodies of his hired detail laid scattered across the floor, and in the pile a head of lovely silver hair stained red.

“Rhaenyra…” he sighed, fingers grazing at the iron candle post in her chest.

He placed her body back down, this listening hard for a faint heartbeat that was very much present. He rushed up to your room to find it empty and thuds of your heart echoing from your closet. He pushed against the barred door, huffing unwanting to scare you any further.

“No…no please.”

He heard your weakened cries as he pushed down the door to find you sitting against your long coats, a shawl pressed up against a heavily bleeding wound and your left wrist bent backwards.

Your lips were nearly blue as weakly cried and stuttered.

“I- I killed her.” You repeated over and over again, refusing to be held by Daemon.

Daemon bit into his wrist, letting blood ooze to the surface before pressing them to you lip, almost forcing the liquid into your mouth as you repeated the same phrase in shock.

You sat against him, letting the vampire blood do its work, Daemon could hear your bones realigning as he soothed you with his hands running down your back and nestling your hair. Once healed he effortlessly lifted your limp body and carried you to the bathroom, he placed you on the sink counter. Letting your body rest against the pink walls as he filled your claw tub with warm water.

If you were conscious enough to see it, it tore him from the inside to see you covered in the blood, the faint marks of your still healing wounds and the lifeless pain behind your eyes. His wife laid temporarily dead in the kitchen that he very lovingly made her breakfast this morning in.

He undid the cuffs of his dress shirt, pulling them up his forearms before gently taking off your night shift, he saw more bruising slowly fading away as he deposited you into the warm water.

The sensation seemed to have shot life back into you as you gasped, you looked up at him wide eyed, with so much pain and concern.

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes pooled “I hurt her, I- kill-“

“She’s fine, she will be fine.” He cooed, pulling the hand shower to wash the blood away from your hair.

His fingertips feeling the head wound shut itself as he washed away the remaining blood. It took nearly an hour to wash away all the blood from your body.

You switched from states of sobbing uncontrollably where he would have to stop and calm you and just staring mindlessly at the red water you sat in.

“Sshh, you are safe.”

“You did good, so good.”

“I know it hurts,” he kissed your temple as the last of the wounds healed themselves.

He had plucked you away from the bath, once again dressed and tucked under the heavy sheet of their shared bedroom instead of yours.

Even tucked in, your eyes pooled once more. He didn’t want to do it but he was yet to pick up the pieces of his wife just yet.

His cold palm rested against your cheek as he wiped away the falling tears.

“You have to sleep.” His eyes dilated.

You whimpered and nodded, your eyes soon after fluttering to slumber. He sat there for a moment, listening to your heartbeat and watching as the frown from your face melted away.

This was close, too close. Rhaenyra was indestructible, you however were a dandelion in the breeze.

She was holding back, she was in there. If she wasn’t, you’d be dead and that’s the kind of weight that would destroy Nyra for the rest of her miserable eternity.

Daemon pulled away, locking the doors to his bedroom from the outside before heading down for Rhaenyra.

All he could think of as he pulled the candle stand from her chest and carried her to the Iron Cells was how close he was to loosing everything.

To loosing you.

Andddd that’s a wrap, I missed writing for this series so much but I crunched it down in one go.

Comments and reblogs are appreciated

Let me know if you would like to be on the tag list.

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x reader x rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen x rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #house of the dragon #bloody baby series #daemon headcanon #daemon smut #daemon things #daemon prince #vampire!rhaenyra #daemyra vampire au #vampire!daemon #vampire au

263 notes · View notes

creeky-cricket · 4 months ago

Text

I HEREBY BREAK MY SILENCE (IDK not for long, probably)

and in doing this, I will give you my first SFW alphabet, of MyStreet!Zane Ro'meave. cause the lack of content for this man is absolutely CRIMINAL.

Cw: talk of character death, very very brief talk about kinks, angst, fluff, hurt comfort, probably ooc idfk LMAO

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He probably wouldn't be the most affectionate in public, poor dude can't even bear the thought of people knowing his biggest interest cause he's worried he's gonna be made fun of </3. But, behind closed doors, he would 100% be the most gentle and cute lover, constantly asking if he was allowed to touch you, to hug you. It's the little things. As for verbal affection, I feel like he wouldn't be the biggest fan of pet names, maybe common ones like baby, or sweetheart occasionally but nothing BIG.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I have a few ideas for this one, but starting off with the most likely. You were probably a friend of Aphmaus or a friend of someone in the main group who's begun meeting everyone. I like to believe you two didn't click immediately, not fighting all the time or anything you just never really spoke. When it actually comes to being friends, you're the one to make the first move, even if it was just a subtly joke to him on the sidelines. Eventually, it just became a common occurrence to see you two together, enjoying each other's company. The two of you can barely even remember when you didn't talk, it just, suddenly happened.

(As for any others, I can think of a few tropes. Like, childhood best friends to lovers, the coffee shop aus, anything soft and sweet. BUT it has to have character development and plot.)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

This man is a cuddler. Not in public, never in public. But if you two are sat in the same area together, he's leaning on you. Or pulling you into his chest. He likes the feeling of your weight on him, makes him feel grounded. I can also see something else that would happen quite often, like. You sat on the couch watching TV, and he comes in and sits on the floor in front of you or to the side of where you're sitting and just leans his head or body against your legs. (Don't be shy, play with his hair. >:3)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

This man is the most organised neat freak. Like, to the point it can get a bit tedious. He likes things to be in order and the way he likes it. However, he would be open to compromises. That being said, though, he would be totally fine with having most of the cleaning responsibilities. Like, as long as you’re not leaving him to clean up your stuff, and pick up after yourself, he doesn't expect you to go through and deep clean regularly. This doesn't mean your house is totally spotless tho. As for cooking, I feel like that would be more your responsibility- since all he can really do is bake LMAO. He can make like- bacon- I guess. He's not totally useless, but get him to make anything like stew or smth, he's gonna require a LOT of help.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he was the one breaking up with you, he would be very quiet leading up to it. Like, you would probably know because he's just- stopped wanting to be around you. Making excuses, being really mopey around you, and generally just not engaging with things that involve you. It's not like he's trying to be a dick or anything, he's just really worried about how you’re gonna take it. I feel like the reason he wants to break up isn't generally anything bad, he would have just lost feelings. Or felt as if it would just benefit the both of you if you were just friends. He doesn’t want to hurt you and is scared of you not wanting to be around him again. As for if you broke up with him, and how he would take it? PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BREAK UP WITH HIM OVER TEXT. Zane, the soggy wet cat that he is, will internalize this SO BAD. one-way ticket to Spiral City, ‘What did I do.’ ‘why couldn't I be better’ such and such. Obviously, this would still happen if you broke up with him in person, but at least he can have the immediate distraction of the outdoors or whatever environment you’re in. The first thing he does. Text. Aphmau. Or hell, maybe Garroth depending on the point of timeline. He will cry. Mans will sit and stew in his room just, laid in bed for however long he feels. Will only come out for food and water.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

Well, this is a tricky one. Theoretically, yes. He would wanna get married, he's always liked the idea of that ‘picture perfect’ life, especially with you. But I guess it's just the actual act that would put him on edge. Not to mention the planning! It would stress him out so badly. God forbid the proposal too! He can barely plan a surprise birthday party, let alone a romantic moment that the two of you will look back on and treasure forever??? That being said, if somehow everything does go to plan, without Zane passing out or dying from cardiac arrest, I don't think it would change much for the two of you. Yes, you’re together by law now, but you were already living together before this, you were already settled before this. Honestly? I feel like he would be set with just staying engaged for the rest of your life. By this point, he knows you’ll never leave him. And god knows that he would never even begin to fathom a life without you in it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Gosh, Zane would be so conscious of being too overbearing with you. So he is very gentle physically. If you have long hair, and you ask him to tie it up for you, he would be so careful with it. Apologising if your hair gets tangled on his fingers, barely even pulls the hair tie in case it would hurt you. While you’re cuddling, he holds you fairly loose too, just in case you want to pull away. Or if you felt uncomfortable. Bro, it would be like a year into your relationship and he would still have such shaky hands and soft touches cause he's so nervous around you. I also hc that his hands are like, constantly cold. No amount of warmth can do this man good, so it's common that he pulls his hands away very quickly if you were to flinch from the cold. (like man, it would be the middle of summer and he would fr feel like he's been locked in a freezer for the majority of his life) Emotionally? Well, he tries, he really tries to be open for you. And he is, you can talk to him any time you want! He would never get bored of hearing your voice, it's just. He's always going to be blunt. And he's never gonna be able to know the right things to say in any given situation, so please be patient with him. (AHJDBAWHJK WAIT MF you: ‘…do you think I'm ugly??’ Zane: ‘uh… sometimes. I guess? why?’)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are awkward in the beginning. Like, he's such a touch-starved dude he doesn’t know what to do when someone hugs him. Let alone someone he likes a lot. God forbid it’s in a context in which you need comfort too, it would be so awkward. It’s also awkward because he doesn’t know how to ask for them. In theory, he wants to touch you all of the time. Like, he wants to hug you and be near you every second of the day, so he just doesn't wanna come off weird for wanting to hug you all the time. After a while, you both develop your own non-verbal mannerisms and ways of asking for physical affection, so it does get better. But still, if he had the choice of being close to you forever he would accept that so fast.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He probably says it very fast into the relationship, but like, it would be a heat of the moment sort of thing. Probably when you first start dating, it's a very flustered, very rushed ‘ILOVEYOU-’. But then wouldn't really say it after that. He already feels as if it’s something he shouldn't have said at the time, so he's not gonna risk saying it again not until at least a month or two into your relationship, or you begin saying it too. Once it becomes a normalised thing, he says it quite often. You’re the best thing that's ever happened to him, he wants you to know that! Even if that includes random moments of him pouring his heart out to you. Bro, it would be so dead silent, you could be doing something like housework and he would just spawn out of nowhere and be like ‘I really, really love you. You better know that!’

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ooohhh, he gets jelly. Very easy. Usually only over small things tho, and it's not entirely a big deal. But please don't just brush him off, poor baby just wants to make sure you’re not gonna leave him. He was in the shadow of pretty much everyone he's ever met: his brothers, his classmates, his friends. God, can you even blame him for being a little bit nervous about that? That being said, it's usually pretty easy to know when he's jealous. He gets very huffy and blushy and quiet, glaring at whatever’s making him jelly. Give him a few words of reassurance, hold his hands and give him eye contact while doing so and he’s a pile of mush lmao. However, there can be times that you can't tell that you’ve done something wrong, or well, what you have done wrong. If something makes him genuinely jealous, and makes him upset. He will wait until you’re in a more private setting before he explains, first of all, because he respects that that sort of stuff shouldn't be done in public. And secondly, because he just doesn't know how to phrase things, and probably feels as if he doesn't have the right to be feeling like that.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You guys don’t have your first kiss until like, 4-5 months into your relationship. Depending on how close you are before you get together that is. It's possible you’d already had it before you started dating, but still. This is mainly because of the fact he wears the mask, which kinda obstructs things. But I feel like your first kiss would be so sweet, maybe during a moment where you’re comforting him. Specifically about his looks, he's sat telling you his insecurities and you persuade him to take his mask off. Cradling his cheeks and looking over his features, he gets a little flustered, so he begins to pull his mask up out of instinct but suddenly your lips are on his. He. Would. MELT. PILE OF GOOP. Putty in your hands. Probably goes really quiet for a while and you worry you made him uncomfy, and suddenly, after like 10-15 minutes, he asks if it would be ok if he kissed you again. >:3 He also likes to give you forehead and cheek kisses. Easiest to give through the mask. As for where he likes to be kissed, cheek, temple, lips. He's not entirely picky. Will get really flustered if you kiss his neck/jawline tho. Even if it’s in a completely innocent way, he just gets really red.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

You are not having kids. It's not like he doesn't like children, well- he doesn't but it’s more the anxiety that he gets around them if anything. Always feels like he’ll do something wrong and it would have lasting effects. Man worries too much, but at least you would know that if you did happen to have kids he would wanna be involved 24/7. He would technically be a good dad, but he would probably end up being a helicopter parent, especially if something was to happen to you.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Zane would either be the type to be up at 7 am sharp even on weekends. I feel like he’d be the type of person to loathe mornings too, so it would be pretty funny if he was an early riser.

‘ ‘Hey, baby.’ you coo as you walk into the kitchen in the morning, seeing your beloved boyfriend resting his forearms against the windowsill, watching those who walked past. ‘Whatcha doin’?’ You ask, curiously, walking up beside him to find the scowl etched onto his face, ‘..judging..’ ’ He gets out of bed carefully in the morning so as not to wake you, slowly making his way out of your shared room and down the stairs. He probably just sits and watches TV in the living room for a while until you wake up. Though, if you didn't work at home, he would get things ready for you. Like, make you a drink, make sure your clothes are out of the wash, would want to make your food but he probably leaves that to you. His service stops at breakfast in bed (most days).

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Being a night owl, Zane’s the most ‘active’ at night. 7 pm to 12 am is the best time frame for him socially and creatively. Granted he's not the most creative person, but I imagine he does like writing and doodling every once in a while. Nights are pretty unpredictable when it comes to him, sometimes he's busy at work getting things done, or busy with some project that he's working on. But then, there are nights when all he wants to do is snuggle with you on the couch and just watch TV. Or even just spend some type of time with you. 2 am baking is a common occurrence too. A big mess to clean up in the morning too. Usually consists of you and Zane, sleep-deprived and laughing as you try and bake something together. Music is on in the background as you’re busy at work. 9/10 ends up with you both covered in various powders and ingredients due to you both getting too competitive in your ‘competitions’. However, that 1/10 is usually that sweet type of baking, tiredly clinging to each other as you follow some recipe that KC sent you either that morning or sometime a week ago. Soft kisses shared while you wait for things to mix and kjbkjbfsd I love baking oneshot ideas...

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's not a very open person, we know this. Only starts telling you really deep things once he knows he can trust you, which takes a long time, mind you. By this I mean like; his insecurities, how he’s been treated during his life, and his feelings. And when he does start talking to you about this, it comes out like a fucking waterfall. Especially if he's ranting after a high-stress situation. God, this poor guy, probably starts crying and beating himself up about it because he's embarrassed and feels like he's making a fool of himself in front of you. Ends with him in your arms, from an angry peak to a very sad low. There are situations like this every now and again with him, with the way he bottles pretty much everything, day in, day out it's hard not to. Everybody needs some kind of release every once in a while.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He gets grumpy easily, but that's it really. He never really gets ‘angry’ with you, and you guys never really argue, not really. Maybe silly disagreements here and there, but if you’re actually the one for him I feel like he would value you most because you can agree on almost everything. That being said, he is Zane Ro’meave, an easily irritated guy. Plus the fact he annoys people for the fuck of it and lacks the skill the care about who he upsets. If you do something that actually pisses him off you’ll know about it eventually. Similarly to how he gets when he's jealous, he just gets kinda quiet for a while, before giving himself to recollect his thoughts before sitting down and speaking about it with you. Working out solutions and ways to avoid it in the future. Do expect to be glared at a lot too, this man has the perfect stink eye, and will not be afraid to throw it at you if you’re being annoying. (though he doesn’t really care lmao, as long as you’re comfortable and having fun it's usually not a problem.)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He knows absolutely everything. Mainly because he will just sit there and listen to you rant, just like you would do for him. Like, at first you would be ranting, and he would be doing something. Like scrolling on his phone, or reading. And you would get mumbly and stop because you didn’t want to get annoying and were afraid of him getting irritated. Bro fr looks up from whatever he is doing and raises his brow. If you don’t continue, he will prompt you to. ‘I'm still listening,’ ‘continue,’ ‘and then what happened?’. Would probably be able to recite the whole thing back to you. Along with this, he remembers the other small things too, whether it's something you told him about yourself, or something somebody else told him about you. Like, your favourite drink, your favourite movie, hell, he would totally try and get into your special interest and learn certain things about it if he heard how much it means to you cause he wants you to feel heard and loved. :3

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

If you were to ask him, he'd probably say he couldn’t tell you, that he didn’t really know. But honestly? His favourite is probably from near to when you first started living together, not everything was in its right spot as of yet, and things were still unfamiliar. One night, there was a huge storm outside, thunder, lightning, wind, you name it. Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse, the power had been cut out due to it too, so no wifi, no TV, and most importantly, no light. The power cut out just as the sun began to set too, and wouldn't be fixed till late morning. Zane, being the guy that he was, didn't really care too much about the cut. Sure, it was inconvenient but it wasn’t a huge bother to him. But he noticed how on edge you seemed. How tense you were. And so, he asked you about it, and upon learning about your feelings towards storms, plus the added stress of lack of lights and distractions, he took it upon himself to ‘protect’ you. And so, for the rest of the night, you two poked around in unpacked boxes, looking for torches, games, anything you could use to pass the time. Though, through everything, it ends with the two of you cuddled under a blanket fort you made out of boxes, blankets (obv) and various other bits of furniture. Zane's arms wrapped around you, keeping you secure as the two of you either slipped into sleep or waited for the sun to rise once again.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

As I said before, very nervous about being too overprotective, he doesn't wanna seem controlling, cause he's heard that that’s a bad thing to be. Would barely even touch you for the first few weeks of your dating, cause he didn't want to make you uncomfy. It's the same reason he doesn’t like PDA, along with the fact it makes him uneasy. But, that doesn't mean he won't protect you. Like, if someone were to start being rude to you, he would be on the front lines. Verbally, of course. If it was one of the main group, and they had said something that had upset you. He would 100% chew them out for it, in public too. He does NOT fear confrontation. As for you with him, he would not like for you to do that. If somebody upsets him, he can and will stand up for himself and he wants you to be able to understand that. (But if someones talking behind his back and he wasn't there…. well.) I feel like the ‘protection’ that he would want from you, is to just be a safe haven for him. Someone he can talk to, be himself with and have no worries that you would tell anyone. It seems silly, but he would literally love you forever.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

NAWH HE WOULD TRY SO HARRRDD. One of the first dates you go on would probably be a really fancy thing, like a restaurant. BUT IT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD. The reason he invited you to that dinner is because that's what he thought you expected him to do, and obviously he has connections with money considering his family. But after that, he would probably talk to you about it, and upon learning that also wasn’t your setting, you would move on to more comfortable places. Like the movies! Or the arcade! As for gifts, and anniversaries, he would panic SO BAD. Your first anniversary, he had Aphmau and Aaron guiding him through it. Like, ‘What should I do?’, ‘Where should we go??’, ‘What do I get them???’. He just wants it to be perfect for you like you would do for him. Safe to say the key thing with him is communicating, no surprise dates. That would make him so uncomfy. OH, AND HE WOULD HELP YOU WITH TASKS TOO. Like, if he saw that you were stressing he would fr sit you down and be like, ‘ok, listen. This is stressing you out. What can I do to help you.’ would 100% do the silliest task you set for him as long as it makes you feel better </3

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He probably finds it really funny to annoy you. Like, most of the time it's harmless, but sometimes it gets to a point where you feel as if he’s just making fun of you. Which isn't his intention! And you know this, in the grand scheme of things. He just gets carried away, seeing you frustrated is cute and funny to him. It's also probably his way of flirting lmao. Bro will find pay so much close attention to you, find the ways that you tick and the small things that piss you off and push every fucking button he can LMAO. Can and has ended up with you being like ‘Dude, seriously? Cut it out.’. It would take him a while to fully apologise, especially at the beginning of your relationship. Back then he probably wouldn't even say it to your face, would send you a genuine text paragraph saying he was sorry and then act like it never happened. When you’re more comfortable with each other he will say he's sorry, but subtly. He does mean it, he just gets really awkward about it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This dude. For a man who wants people to think he is tough, mysterious and intimidating, he dresses like an E-boy and covers 75% of his face simply because he doesn’t like how he looks. And he feels like people would think less of him because of it. It takes him a long time to feel comfortable enough to be completely maskless around you. He’s not as bothered with his eye as he is with his freckles, so that’s probably the thing you see first. To help with this, complement him. Complements are his weakness. Just a simple ‘you’re so pretty’ would have him REELING. (Bro has the biggest praise kink)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh absolutely, this dude can barely sleep in a bed without you in it. Once he's gotten a taste of the love you gave him, he feels like he wouldn't be able to go on without it. This might be the angst-craving side of me talking, but imagine a world where you’re suddenly taken from him. Little to no warning. Whether you die, you go missing or whatever, the absolute disdain that he would feel. Would feel lost for so long if you remained gone, barely talked, barely went out, and probably moved out of your shared house and back in with Garroth for a while. He just doesn't know what to do with himself. Depending on how far into the relationship you are when this happens, idk if he would get with anyone again. If it was rather early, he would more than likely move on eventually. It would take a while but he would, for you. But if you were like, committed? Engaged and everything, there's no way. You were the one for him, and he would just not be happy with anyone else. Cause it wouldn't be you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's a very sleepy drunk and a lightweight. This man didn't have his first drink till like, his late twenties. And even then I don't think he would ever make a habit out of drinking, maybe a few at gatherings, doesn't really like to go out to an alcohol-centric setting (like a bar or anything). Plus the fact it's hard to drink through a mask so most of the time at these gatherings he was the designated driver. So if he ever does get drunk around you, (one of the rare times) expect to be fallen asleep on, and helping him to the car. Also a cuddly drunk. But only with like, you and Aph. Maybe Garroth depending on how far gone he is. Will just sit there silently, either with you on his lap or sitting to the side of you, arms around your waist and head on your shoulder / in your neck, sound asleep.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who won't / isn't able to communicate with him. Communication is key with Zane, after being pushed around and forced into awkward and unwelcoming environments for the vast majority of his life he just wants to be with someone who will listen to his point of view and not judge him for basically existing. He also wants to be with someone who can tell him when he's doing something they don’t like. He’s not good at reading between the lines, and will just continue doing something if you don’t tell him. He would also need you to tell him when he does something you do like as well. He wants to know what he can do as well as can't do. And he expects all the same from you too. He understands communication can be difficult for some people, but to be his partner you’ll need to have the ability to set boundaries, and clear ones at that.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Bro pulls all-nighters like he doesn't need sleep to survive. And then he complains that he's tired all the time. Will say something like ‘I've got such bad eyebags’ and then argue the toss when it comes to you telling him to sleep more. Though not to be cliche, he does sleep better when you’re laid with him. It's just the grounding feeling of your weight against him, and the sound of your soft breaths. And the fact he physically can't move by law. Lmao, you have to coax him to actually go to bed though, like a toddler. He’ll be so tired, eyelids drooping and falling asleep on the couch or at a desk and he will fr be like ‘Noooo, I don't wanna’. And then as soon as he lays down he is out like a fucking light.

oh, hey!!

ty for reading!! :3

#cricket_hole #headcannons #sfw alphabet #fluff #wholesome #hurt/comfort #angst #zane ro'meave #zane mystreet #mystreet #mystreet headcanons #zane ro'meave x reader #zane x reader #this is the most sickly thing ive ever wrote #/pos #god this took fuckign yoinks tho #you better eat up

62 notes · View notes

restinslices · 1 year ago

Text

If Kuai Liang Was A Sub

This has been sitting on my docs and for whatever reason, I didn’t post it. Anyway imma make the same disclaimer I did for Bi-Han’s part. I am a virgin. I get zero bitches. Absolutely zero play. Take everything I say with a grain of salt and if you think it’s inaccurate then damn. Idk. Minors MOOOOVEEE.

I feel like unlike Bi-Han, he'd be way more accepting of his role. Bi-Han is like, "sub? could never be me!", and Kuai Liang is like "yeah, absolutely"

I could see foreplay being his thing. To him, what adds up to sex is just as important as sex.

Honestly I think he'd see all parts of sex as equally important. The leading up to, the actual act, and the aftercare.

Remember when I said Bi-Han pissed you off on purpose because he enjoyed punishments? I don't think Kuai Liang would be like that.

Don't get me wrong, he could do stupid shit at times or break rules but I feel like it'd legit be on accident.

Like you'd tell him he can't touch you as you ride him, but he'd completely forget that and do it anyway.

Your pleasure to him would be the most important. If he doesn't cum, it's a bummer. But you not cumming? Absolutely not.

He moans loudly and gasps. idk why I get this vibe, but I do.

He's also shameless. I feel like if someone was like "I heard you having sex last night", Bi-Han would be confrontational. Tomas would be embarrassed. Kuai Liang would apologize but would turn around and ask you to fuck him harder this time.

Because let's bffr, what is anyone gonna do to him?

He'd be into being tied up by his own ropes. It'll be all he could think of when he's using them in other situations and honestly? Gets him determined to return home to you.

Kinks I'd think he'd have would be restraints, overstimulation, roleplay, orgasm control, praise and/or degradation (idk if he'd like one over the other. pick whichever you like), and dare I say a knife kink?

Obviously don't fucking stab him but some threatening? He's into it.

He loves making you feel good and loves when you use him to make yourself feel good

Adding onto that, idk why but he's giving "ride me in my sleep" energy. consensually of course, this would obviously be something discussed.

I can't put my finger on why, but I just really feel like he'd enjoy waking up to you using him. Maybe he enjoys the thought that you constantly want him. Once again though, this would be something discussed beforehand. Don't just try this shit at home. This would require lots of talks, boundaries, knowing when it'd be ok, shit like that. imma say it again, do not randomly try this shit.

A punishment I think he'd hate is not being able to touch you. He'd be away a lot on Liu Kang's orders, so when you're together he wants to touch you so he remembers it when he's away. When you're having sex, he especially wants to touch you. So you saying "no" would be hard for him

I know we're mainly talking about sex but I think it'd be more than that for him. I'm not saying you control everything he does but this man is probably stressed out all the time. He has two brothers who have constant beef (which is one sided fr), he's probably still missing his dad, he's constantly risking his life for others, and life just has a lot of bullshit going on.

Serving Earthrealm means he's always doing stuff for other people. So sometimes he likes when you're the one choosing what he'll do for the day because he knows you'll pick stuff that would benefit him. Does that make sense?

Like, non sexually you may say “hey I want you to go take a long bath, then put some clothes on. I already have the water and your clothes ready”. Shit like that. Don't get it misconstrued, you're not becoming his mom. You're just taking more of a leadership role, which he appreciates.

Sexually though, it'd tie into orgasm control. You'd tell him what to do, where to touch, when to stop, where to look, etc. He knows whatever you're having him do is to make him feel good. To put himself first, which he has a hard time doing.

I'm not saying y'all don't have straight “I'm tryna fuck” type of sex, but I think he'd enjoy some soft stuff occasionally. Helps him relax.

As for aftercare I think unlike Bi-Han, he'd enjoy talking after. Especially depending on what was going on.

Softer sex probably results in cuddling then talking about whatever. Something more intense would include a breather, checking in, then whatever else he needs. Sometimes it's a bath immediately, sometimes it's playing with his hair to bring him back down.

Sometimes it's you reminding him that he's doing his best. Sex can be a good way to relieve tension, but it's not a permanent fix. You like to remind him that he's a good person and sometimes bad shit happens to good people. Just a nice deep chat.

He gives me “I'm tryna find my wife” at the club vibes, idk. is that outta line?😭

He's not as soft as Tomas but he's not as hardheaded as Bi-Han. He's a nice in between.

Y’all already know Tomas is next. Stay tuned

#Kuai Liang #kuai liang x reader #kuai liang x y/n #kuai liang mk1 #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang smut #scorpion smut #sub kuai liang #sub character #sub scorpion #Ngl he’s my favorite #mk1 smut #mortal kombat smut

292 notes · View notes

peoplesrazor · 29 days ago

Text

Finally getting around to a follow up

youtube

Link to my first post.

When I first talked about this I ended the post by saying:

I might make another post in the future and touch on other stuff related to this. What Lily says about Amity breaking up with Luz because of her behavior. Whether the people around Luz should have confronted her more often and so on.

Finally getting around to that other post. Thanks to @risingphoenix87 for the reminder. This time I'm starting out knowing it's going to be a long post.

Heavy spoilers for The Owl House in this one.

First, I want to make a point I didn't in the last post. The reason I didn't is I was trying to "meet Lily where she stands," as it were and discuss the ideas she as she presented them. While I think that was a good approach over all to this video, it may have ended up sounding like I agreed with something I do not.

The idea I'm talking about is that of Luz's trauma response changing.

In this and other Owl House videos Lily claims Luz used to have a different, more proactive response to trauma, and that in season two that response changed.

I need to point out, I don't think that's true. Rereading my post, I realized I said her response changed because she did. That's not really what I meant. What I meant was her emotional responses changed, not what she's actually doing. Small, but important difference there.

To explain more clearly:

Luz is still pretty proactive. Even as she becomes more guilt-ridden and upset, she's still determined. She's still active. She's still at the center and the one the others are looking to for answers. Amity literally ends a pretty simple statement, that at least they'll all be together at the end of it, with the phrase "Right, Luz?" in the second episode of Season 3. (It's horrible timing, but that's plot convenience.)

What changed was Luz's response to failure. Think of all the times in Season one when the stakes were pretty low and Luz messed up. She what? Smiled sheepishly? Gave a nervous apology, maybe? Said oops! Didn't know that would happen, silly me? The kid set my second-hand embarrassment off the whole season.

Then something happened that raised the stakes and had real consequences. That led to Eda getting captured, nearly petrified, and losing her magic. That led to her only way home being destroyed.

Something that Luz blames herself for.

And season two just builds and builds on that. The stakes get increasingly higher. Luz puts more and more pressure on herself. She wants to make a new door. She wants to reassure her mother. She wants to stay on the isles. She wants people to listen to her about Belos. Just building and building, until she finds out she was actually part of Belos' plan all along.

So, yeah, Lily, girl's a little rattled.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, onto the argument about confronting and breaking up with Luz.

I'm going to say Luz is dealing with Toxic Guilt. The link there is to the UK counseling directory's entry on the subject. They offer a lot of information on the subject and ways to help someone get through it.

Note some of the characteristics. Excessive self-blame. I helped Belos. Perfectionism. The first part of the in school hero speech. The way she scoffs at the word hero guts me. Self-punishment. The second part of that speech. The never been born part. Negative self-image. Oh my Gosh, Hunter, they're all going to hate me. Ongoing and persistent and Impact on well-being are literally just what's going on with her.

I don't think I have to point out that the website says nothing about just giving up on someone who is going through this. Granted, Lily says the others should be confronting her more, but she follows that up almost immediately by saying Amity should break-up with her. To me, the connotation is clear: just wash your hands clean of this one, time to move on.

I swear, Lily, the more I examine your media takes, the more I wonder about things I hear about your real life. I understand it can be difficult if it starts to become damaging to your own mental health, but there is no sign it's doing that with any of Luz's friends. Lily, if you just wash your hands of someone because they are going through something and aren't as fun to be around, they aren't the toxic one.

You are.

As for confronting Luz: Maybe. Maybe, if they were aware of the time in school when she indirectly wishes she'd never been born. I don't have any reason to believe they are, though. None of them are around and the teacher and other kids don't react much. It could be because she does kind of revert to that, sheepish, was I doing something strange? behavior after. Just the weird kid being weird in their minds.

If they'd seen that, sure ask her if she needs to talk or something. I'm sure Luz would just put them off. Say she's fine. Maybe they'd keep a closer eye on her. I can't see much more coming from such a talk, though.

I have a feeling you mean more than that. Like what? Give her an ultimatum? Shake her? Again, the others do show concern for her state. Her mother talked to her and comforted her when she came to her room to sleep. Amity wants to find the Titan's Blood before telling Luz because she gets that Luz was upset about their attempt at a portal door not working.

I'm not going to really entertain the idea of a breakup here. No reason to argue why it wouldn't happen. It's silly to think it should. Amity's reactions to Luz being down is normal, I think. It's fine that Amity is concerned about her. It's fine that she tries to be upbeat and thinks of fun couple costume ideas and such.

She cares about her and believes in her. So does everyone else.

Besides that, Luz is functioning. She's getting up every morning. She's getting dressed. Going to school. She helps the others trying to get a door to work. She goes out dancing with Amity in the rain. She seems to be eating, showering, etc. She goes with the gang to get new clothes. She agrees to Amity's couple costume and goes with the others to the Halloween event.

Heck, she's in the situation with Hunter at the graveyard, because she was helping Hunter with the "seeing Belos thing." She uses her Glyphs to find the Titan's Blood. She helps fight Belos when he possesses Hunter. She's the one that catches Flapjack and is ready to dive in to get Hunter before her mother does it instead.

Her mother has to move her aside, because she's still being proactive.

And after all that, after all that guilt and drama, it takes just the slightest bit of understanding from her friends, a little encouragement from her mother, and the tiniest of nudges from her girlfriend for her to agree to, at least, go back long enough to get her friends safely back to their families and possibly confront Belos.

She's not better. Not after her friends learn the truth and encourage her to keep fighting. Not after her first talk with her mother. Not after the second one that unlocks her Palisman. She's not ready to take the step of forgiving herself.

That's why she has the nightmare she does at the beginning of episode 3.

The Collector clearly is using things personal to the individuals he's playing with. Now, it might seem like he got info from other puppets, other sources, but I think he got information just from King, Eda, and Luz and used that as like a pool of metaphorical building blocks to construct their personal nightmares.

Take note. That room King wakes up in in his dream? Yeah, King never saw that room in the episode it was in. Luz did.

This also explains why Amity flubbed her line. Luz is absolutely right. Amity would know it was duel not battle. So, would Luz. Granted it could be Amity fighting back, but it sure looks like Luz realizing it's not her and messing with her by poking at her and so on that breaks her out. Like Luz realizing it wasn't real broke the dream for a bit.

If that's the case, he didn't get that info from either of them, and none of his other puppets would have read those books. Remember, Amity is literally the only other person to even buy one of those books. Only a handful of other people even know they exist.

So, who would have read those books but isn't an obsessed nerd who knows them word for word and might be young enough to not understand the difference between duel and battle?

King. He's read them. He says so at the end of Edge of the World, the same episode where Luz saw that room. The collector learned about the Azura books from King either before this game of nightmares, or while setting it up.

The above wasn't a random tangent. I'm trying to set up the thought that The Collector used knowledge he pooled from them collectively to build the world of his nightmare game, but zeroed in on their individual worst fears to play with them. The reactions of Luz's friends in her nightmare shows she's not yet ready to forgive herself and her fear that they either didn't, or at least shouldn't, have forgiven her so quickly.

See, you can get this kind of insight by actually paying attention to what a story is doing, rather than complaining about what it's not doing, Lily.

Luz is not ready to forgive herself and all the reassurances from her friends and family aren't going to do it for her. What does it take for her to reach that step?

Well, what was it that she wanted? What thing did she really want that finally brought her Palisman to life? To be understood?

And who understood making a large mistake while trying to help?

The Titan. He gave her the last nudge. Until then, she really felt like she was as bad as Belos. She even says as much. She can't really argue when he says all her negative feelings aren't true. He would know. He's gone through the same thing.

As always, my opinion.

Notice though, that she got through all that without any of her friends and family confronting her more often and without Amity breaking up with her. Neither of those things would have helped either, because neither is what she needed. They may even have made it worse.

Deep down, she may even have known what she needed on a sub-conscious level.

What was it she said to the The Collector?

"People are complex and sometimes they just need a little kindness and forgiveness."

Yeah.

#lily orchard critical #lily orchard is a bad critic #the owl house #heavy spoilers #toh luz #Youtube

21 notes · View notes