#there's just no way some of them could see the sorta action they'd be hoping for lmao--

[rain-filled-garden]

✨} Although love in the sense of a deep emotional connection is something he's wary of following... That doesn't mean any and all forms of 'love' are something that Meir is against pursuing. Given that, like many dragons, the wyvern isn't immune to the pull that comes along with mating season. He is, however, quite used to making it through these seasons on his own by now.

✨} Despite the above fact, though, that doesn't mean that Meir would be fully against providing companionship to another dragon (or some other being) going through a similar struggle of desire. True, he'd likely be reluctant to fully couple with them, but... Perhaps not in offering other outlets for relief.

✨} Or, to put it far more simply-- While chances are slim that he'd fully commit to sex with someone in those situations, Meir wouldn't be against offering himself as a companion to cuddle with. Or even to 'service' his partner in ways that don't include actually entering them himself.

✨} And as a final note, while he's steadily become aware that there could be some partners who may find the idea of sex with him in wyvern form to be an appealing idea-- That's certainly something he'd heavily advise many of them against. Due to the fact that he's aware, unless they happen to also be a dragon of somewhat similar size to himself-- then realistically, it just simply isn't something that could really be pulled off.

[koskela-knights]

EEAAO Connections

More meta! We're going on another long feel trip! Having watched AW2 videos, playthroughs, read multiple wiki pages & having watched Everything Everywhere All At Once (+ insightful meta posts and video essays) I see some overlapping themes and messages 👀 General/vague spoilers for the movie & spoilers for AW2 below

CW: mentions of suicide in red

+ additional Koskela feels & thoughts casually sprinkled in <3

--

I'm going off the concept that there are countless possible loops/alternate timelines/multiple universes in AW2. EEAAO obviously deals with the latter: multiple universes where every choice you make branches off into another reality/universe.

Nihilism, breaking the cycle/spiral

One of the main messages the movie conveys is that yes, the universe may not care about us, our actions may and can be insignificant in the big scheme of things. But that doesn't mean we cannot choose love, for ourselves and others. As this post brilliantly pointed out: in the universes where the characters choose nihilism through negative actions and not care about others, they sorta ruin/worsen their own lives. But once the characters choose love and empathy for themselves and others, their lives improve for the better.

You can see similar thoughts reflected in AW2. If we go with the idea that the Shadows in the Dark Place (DP) are past Alan (they even are his 3d model) and perhaps even versions where he kills himself, haven't led Alan out of the DP or the Darkness at all. They're literally dead ends. But only once he begins accepting external help (Saga, Rose and of course Alice) is he able to advance out of the spiral. It's also his love for Alice that keeps him going after all those years.

(Which is a similar point made in this post where the post argues that it's not destruction (parallel/similar to pessimistic nihilism) that can help you break free from the spiral but ascension (//love, support from others))

Choices & love

Now, venturing more into Koskela territory (this is a Koskela love blog after all)

What I loved in the EEAAO is that some characters are aware of these multiple universes and even if not, they long for a universe that exists somewhere else. In this post it's outlined that Waymond, who's a rich successful businessman in one universe, still longs for a domestic "poorer" life with Evelyn, doing simple taxes and having a laundromat business. That's the life the main story's universe takes place in, basically. Just ughh, the idea that gets me that people will choose to be together in every possible universe, or that they'd choose one humble universe over any other version where they might be more "successful" but separate from one another.

And I feel this would apply to the Koskelas too. Those brothers are soulmates. @zephyrone01 said that if Saga could still profile Jaakko after his death, Jaakko would've probably said that he loved Ilmo and didn't regret any of it and <33

The Koskelas would love each other and die for each other but also desperately try to save each other in every loop, every iteration and alternate reality/universe. I've been thinking about what-ifs: what if one of them is aware of the loops, what if they're both aware or subconsciously know what will happen/can happen. They would try to prevent each other from dying. They would and they keep on fighting for each other but also for their town and the people that they clearly love. Ilmo and Jaakko wouldn't put all that money and energy into their various businesses if they didn't believe Watery and its people still have a chance.

@zephyrone01 and I've been discussing many such what-if scenarios. Maybe it would've been easier for them if they just packed their business, aware of how dangerous BF & Watery are, but that's not their way. Even if they know the dangers and the tragic future ahead, they are willing to fight for who they love, what they love and they'll desperately clutch onto the hope that maybe, just maybe the next loop will be different and more positive.

And maybe there's a reality where they left or gave up but other versions of them would be (subconsciously) reminded of these darker futures and realize that staying and fighting has a much better outcome, even if the stakes remain high and one or both might still die as a result. But they would still choose any of those universes where they stay and fight because they have each other and it would've been worth it anyway. Even if the pain of losing the other will be painful and unbearable, it means they loved deeply and cared dearly.

I have so many feelings about the Koskelas man 😭😭😭 I hope this post was somewhat comprehensible and cohesive.

--

So yeah, TLDR: it's corny but love, empathy and compassion are the answer in every universe. Love for yourself and the people around you. It can help you get into the light. Maybe choosing this life is enough even if you don't leave the biggest impact because there are people you care about and who care about you too. And that's all that matters, really.

[itsnothingofinterest]

With hindsight how do you feel about my hero? If things keep the course and this is the final arc and everything wraps up after the heroes win how has your view and opinion of past chapters changed?

Personally the story is very different from where I thought it'd be when I first started watching the anime. The villains didn't end up being what I hoped they'd be and the ones I'd hoped would get more time and action ended up falling off, same with some of the students. The biggest change for me has to be the pros, originally I didn't think much of them and figured they'd only be cool background pieces while we focus on the students. But now I actually enjoy the pros as characters and my favorite character arc isn't one of the kids or villains but an adult hero.

Hmm, that's a question to get the introspection flowing. How fun.

For one thing; I definitely didn’t expect the villains to be as major players, or such favourites of mine, as they ended up being when I started the series. I mean I always knew in my heart Shigaraki was gonna be the major villain player, more successful and with more to him than Overhaul or AFO. (Man, remember when people hoped Overhaul would take over as main villain from Shigaraki? Wild, right? I think they said the same of Stain too back then.) But that he reached near deuteragonist status surprised me.

My opinions on the pros as a whole have definitely lessened, but thinking about it, most opinions on individuals haven't really changed; main exceptions where my opinions dropped being Hawks and Jeanist. Maybe Mic too, after he nearly blasted Korokumo. But All Might, Wash, or Kamui Woods I feel about the same as ever for. And Endeavor I always hated since his intro, and though I may hate him more now, it’s not really to a significant degree (like, we always suspected Rei didn't consent to all her children, so 301 confirming that could only do so much). But as the other heroes lifted him up and defended him, it dragged them all down. As did realizing how much they were complicit in; Tartarus, the Commissions’ corruptions, and other such red flags waving atop hero society as a whole which the pros seek to uncritically defend.

And more recently, I'm afraid I’ve given up on Deku and the next generation fixing their predecessors' failings (without outside influence anyway). He never really got around to the idea of “surpassing All Might” in anything but quirk ability. That Shoji proposed a passive non-solution to the prejudice that inspired tons of villains while Shinsou started using the red flag battle tactics of using prisoners as weapons against villains is also not helping my perception of the next generation of heroes.

It's a big reason why I keep putting all my hopes, if this is the end, into Deku realizing Shigaraki’s points on the failings of hero society are right and convincing him to work together to find non-violent solutions to those points (instead of the alternative I’m most worried about, Deku insisting he’s just brainwashed by AFO and all his critiques should be ignored). My hope is that this way, Tomura's development could sorta fill in for the development Deku didn't get by never thinking about these things. I'll admit it's kind of a rushed easy-out; but if this is the final arc then it’s either that or this setting is doomed. And despite my critiques I actually do like Deku, and I don’t want him to see hero society rot further under his watch because he’ll be the hero who fails the next Shigaraki(s). So I’m praying for a last minute course correction away from that possibility.

[wolpatinga]

I came from your fic earlier.. how do you feel about the act of heart “de-clawing” himself? If soul and mind truly see him as dangerous then what is stopping him from relenting and offering himself up? An eye for an eye, his throat for mind’s. Even if he can’t harmonize (sing) anymore and even if he can’t feel the same way he used to, at least he isn’t alone? Where is the line for soul and mind?

hello anon!!! thank you for the ask. i'm gonna get weird for a sec

so in my opinion, that sort of action comes from someone demanding it. he could offer himself as a sacrifice, but i don't see soul or mind wanting that. heart does have an inflated ego and assumes the other two are out for blood, when really everyone's just tired and wants the war to be over. i'm working on two companion pieces for the fic that'll go over the other two's perspectives, but all i can say for now is that they're pissed that he ran off, and even moreso because he stayed missing for a full month (i made a timeline to keep track of it all. he was only gone for a month)

getting back on track: heart wants to be needed. he wants the other two to break down their facades and come crying to him. he wants the chance to be the strong one and to flex his emotional intelligence. he is kidding himself. mind and soul are both in denial about who and what they are. they believe that they're still capable of change, of being better, unlike heart. heart knows who he is and who he is kinda sucks

i see heart as being like loki. like, classic loki, from the myths. he's odin's younger brother, and he started out as an affable and harmless prankster. but he's careless. he breaks things. and everyone around him is sick of sweeping up the shards, and they're sick of his selfishness. they're sick of how he's constantly trying to outdo himself. they're sick of him assuming what they need from him

until eventually it reached a breaking point. in the myth of how thor's hammer was forged, loki is trying to pull a harmless prank that backfires and disfigures thor's wife. thor pinned loki down when he found out and threatened to break every bone in his body over and over, knowing that loki's divinity would always heal him back. thor threatened to keep loki in that eternal state of misery unless he could right his wrongs. this leads to hijinks to get a prosthethic and other gifts to placate the other gods, but that intro is the sorta vibe i was going for when i was talking about mind's clock eye. heart didn't mean to take an eye, but it happened anyways, and heart now lives in fear of mind following through on his threats

but hms, like the gods, exist outside of mortality. so even the worst sins fade into nothingness. the other two don't want to hate heart. they want the cycle to end. mind and soul know that he only wants to keep things light. they know that he cares about them. but they also know that heart is reckless and unchanging. even if he were declawed, he'd find a knife or gun or some new terrible thing and keep doing what he always does

heart can swear seven ways from sunday that he'll be better this time, but it won't change a thing. you can't rip out someone's throat to rewire their brain. and as logical as mind claims to be, he's only as educated as whole is [college dropout]. he's not a genius, and he should NOT try to lobotomize heart to fix him

but heart would if mind asked. there is no limit to what he'd give up if it meant he could sleep peacefully in the house again and to get back what they lost. that is all he wants, and that is all that he can't have. he's less than a man, and he's detached from reality. he's obsessive about the other two, and he needs them more than they'd ever admit they need him

he could offer himself up for violence, but what he needs is the kind of inner peace that comes from knowing that the others around you appreciate your presence. that is something the other two can't give him, and so he remains obsessive, selfish, and defensive

i hope this answers your question

[pulchrasilva]

Greetings fellow felipe fan. I'm not fully up to date with Riptide, but do you think Felipe is going to actually come back into relevance at some point?

Oh my god a fellow felipe fan!! I didnt know they existed lmao hii!!!

God I hope he comes back into relevance, there were a good few episodes where gillion seemed almost feral with the need to save him and just. Not any more. And that's really sad to me.

(Spoilers for ep 92 and the arc that follows) it's kinda the same thing they did with alphonze, where they said they'd get him a new body, that was priority number 1, but then they just sorta forgot. And now he's just their ship, and he hardly talks anymore </3

(Spoilers end here) Felipe was very much a lesson in that their actions have consequences. I mean they got people killed with those cards, not to mention Gill's whole arc in the trauma orb. But felipe was the first time they had to look a friend in the face and see what they'd done. He was so fucking distraught and terrified, and he was so desperate to fix it and it got him stolen by?? A fucking demon??? They held the power of a god in their hands except there was no way to direct or control it, and thats not the kind of thing you do improv with lmfao

Have they learned their lesson? Not really. Bizly was real close to using the cards again recently but tbh I would expect nothing less from these silly guys <3

I think felipe coming up again - whether in a rescue arc or them just finding some hint of what's happened to him since he disappeared - could be another reminder that they have a responsibility to protect their crew and also to not. Use the stupid cards

Also as much as I love felipe I kinda hope something horrible has happened to him. I mean you don't make enemies with a demon without suffering. And that scene where they first find out hes been stabbing gill and he starts drawing all the cards? Yeah that fucked me up frr and I wanna see something that tragic with him again. Also he said his species only live a few weeks i think, so if he's lived out his whole life in hell because he wanted to adventure with the chosen one, uhh yeah </3 he could have fully died by now and we'd not know </33

Ooh and the demon is magically compelled to hate felipe just as felipe was magically compelled to hate gill and those are some potentially very interesting narrative parallels

Also I just miss him. What a silly guy!! An icon!! He was like 3 days old!! He had poisonous elbows!!!! He flirted with like all of the pcs in his own weird ways!!! Grizzly bring him back 😭

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Hey, just finished the story of In Tanta We Trust. In my mind, Frey is still in regular contact with the four other Tantas of Anthia and has to explain to them the events of ITWT. As if that wasn't enough, then she'll have to tell them about what Rheddiah's Tanta told her(and the fact that Rheddiah even has Tantas in the first place) and that she has to go to that place to meet with her. That conversation isn't going to go over well, is it?

Tumblr is a perfectly functioning website with a perfectly functioning app and absolutely did not eat my response to this ask SIX GODDAMN TIMES (three before I got smart and wrote all this out in my notes app so I could just copy/paste until it stopped arguing with me).

I honestly don't think Frey would be the one who initiates those conversations. She grew up bouncing from foster home to foster home, aged out of the foster system, and essentially had no one but herself to rely on for her whole life. And then she gets dropped into Athia with no one but herself and Cuff to rely on, and it took her a long time to actually rely on him.

So, I don't think she has the instinct to seek out advice—and to make matters worse, she also sorta kinda murdered the Tantas a little bit. Yes, it was the right thing to do, and no, they're not mad or upset about it, but I'd imagine she's still carrying some guilt around because of it (guilt that Cuff would absolutely prey upon, too). That's not exactly the kind of thing you can just get over, you know? It takes a lot of therapy and there's not a whole lot of that to go around in Athia.

Besides, the moment she starts thinking "maybe I should ask my predecessors for advice," you know Cuff is going to pull some "oh yes, let's go talk to the women I drove insane and manipulated you into murdering. That'll go swell" bullshit, or otherwise try to talk her out of it. She might decide to go talk to them anyway out of spite, or she might think he has a point.

But it does happen, one way or another—either of Frey's own free will or because Cinta's Momma Senses are tingling and she finds a way to yoink Frey into Svargana from beyond the grave. Say Frey does ask their advice and tells them a Tanta of Rheddah showed her the Gloaming and asked to meet her. Well, what I wouldn't give to be a light jellyfish hanging in the air for that conversation!

Sila I can see being all for letting Frey go, but cautions Frey that talking may not get the results she hopes for, and that she had better be prepared for a battle to the death if things don't go well.

Prav would be tentatively amenable to the idea of Frey going to Rheddah to speak with the Rheddig Tantas. She'd emphasize a need for diplomacy and compromise. Her ideal outcome would be a peace treaty between the two nations, or some other formal agreement that Rheddah will no longer seek Athia's destruction.

Olas... could go either way. Of all of them, I think she would be the most familiar with the Tantas of Rheddah, if only through her studies of history. (I also think she's the most likely to have spies set up in Rheddah, but that's neither here nor there.) She'd know better than any of them if the Rheddig Tantas are likely to kill Frey the second she steps on shore, or if they'd try to manipulate her and turn her against Athia, or even if they're completely benevolent and trustworthy. Depending on what she knows of them, she could be all for Frey meeting with them, cautiously for it, cautiously against it, or vehemently against it.

Cinta would be against it. As Frey's mother, her instinct is to keep Frey safe. As Tanta, she cannot recommend any course of action that leaves Athia defenseless—and as it stands, Frey is Athia's only defense. She is the only one capable of protecting the citizens of Cipal from the Break, and she is the only one who has any hope of standing a chance against another Rheddig invasion. What if this is a diversion, meant to remove Athia's only protector so the Rheddig can finally complete their mission of eradicating Athia? She can't accept that risk.

Ultimately, after a lot of heated debate where Frey loses her temper at the pointless bickering at least twice, and Cuff is spiritually eating popcorn and doing a one-wrist-idiot Statler and Waldorf bit the whole time, the consensus they finally arrive to is the Tanta equivalent of "ho don't do it."

So, naturally, Frey does it. How else would we have a story for the sequel we're never going to get?

[alairmena]

Reply to @kookntae4ever from the comments!

Just to preface this by saying - you can ALWAYS go back and fix the wording of everything from the beginning to end. Nothing in the manuscript is set in stone, in any part of it's development cycle. When it's done, it's no longer a manuscript (WIP) and becomes a novel, and before that final phase, there's no reason why you should keep things you didn't like!

That being said, here's my advice for you (TL;DR version): Your story is about your main character, and the best beginning you can pull off for it is the one that showcases what kind of person they truly are in the beginning of your story.

Yapping version:

In your place, I would sit down and figure out what is the MC all about. And that doesn't mean anything like - "they're a gay man from South Africa that lives in Norway" - those are only shallow descriptive information, that doesn't tell us anything about this character's soul. To truly find your character's soul (I'll write more on that in some other blog, here's the shorter version), you have to think about what is their core belief. What do they believe about the world? What would they say and then proceed to add "that's just how life is"? Do they think that people are inherently malicious so they would rather not trust anyone? Do they think that everyone has something good in them so they trust everyone on default until proven wrong? You know, that kinda sorta specific information about your character's worldview is what is the core of their personality, it dictates everything they do, and hopefully it will change by the end of the story (ex. they'd learn to trust at least one person by the end of it!) and thus, it's ultimately what your story is really about.

Now that you've figured out what is your MC's core belief, think of a scene that best shows it to readers. Could be a single sentence explanation, or an entire action sequence in which the core belief is shown. Let's take for example one of the classics, Stranger by Albert Camus:

"Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure."

This opening, as you may notice, is nothing special at all. The MC is talking about what happened, and he isn't even sure when. Now why is this considered such a powerful opening? It's because of who the MC is as a person - he is, by all means, an indifferent guy. Whatever happens, happens, and he couldn't care less. Which is perfectly described through this opening in a way that it conveys how just indifferent he is towards such a tragic life event, the passing of his own mother. To the point he's not bothering to specify when exactly she even died.

Now you see, you don't have to have pretty prose. You don't need bombastic, empowering, eye capturing, beautiful poetic sequence about this or that motif. The only thing you truly need is to show to the readers, who your MC really is deep within, what does he believe in, what is the core of his soul - and through that, you'll end up having the gripping opening you've always dreamed of.

I went a bit overboard with this I hope I didn't confuse you! Happy writing!

Writers UNblock

Ask me a question or vent to me about where you're stuck in your WIP, I wanna help yall its getting real boring in here

[celestialblushxoxo]

Hi hope you are doing well. May I participate in the fs game?

Pronouns she/ her/ hers

I’m straight

Thank you!

CJ

Hey love, hope you're having a lovely day as well🖤 here's your reading, hope you enjoy it🦋✨

Ok I'm scared of him lol. Just kidding or am I? As I'm typing I hear this dramatic opera music lol I love how it's syncing. Anyways they come from a place of power, someone from old money possibly, could be new money as well but more so old money. They have this presence you know. They are authorative, powerful, mature, stoic sorta, people at first may think they are egotistical or rude but actually they aren't. Like you guys may have a significant age gap and they could be 5+ years age gap. But like there is a difference in experience as well. When they were young possibly they were boastful and had pride about their background, may have been rude towards people who were underprivileged but their family is very respectful and taught them how it is wrong to do so hence as they grew up they realise this and they maybe a philontrophist or may donate in charities. They may have a dominating personality, not in a toxic way, they just demand respect without actually saying it. Their aura is very strong. Gives the vibe of mafias in a Wattpad story lol. They are the kind to forgive (not always) but not forget. Very very well established and high in their career. Maybe a boss or something. Owner possibly. All I can see is $$$ honestly lol. Very hardworking tho and family oriented. They'd do anything for their loved ones. Very protective. May have the tendency to be possesive as well. But they are open to constrictive criticism. May love to tease you just to get a reaction from you. Admirers may look at them and think "Zaddy spotted" this is so funny omg like damn sis who tis😂 but yeah look wise really built, may be regular at gym, medium to above average height, could be latina, Italian decent is also popping up, fair to tan skin, beard, loves sunglasses, love the colour jet black, loves helicopters!? Very intense eyes, dark brown, dark hair, maybe hairy, love suits and formal clothing, very ambitious and hardworking. Nice @$$ is also what came through lmao. Very well groomed and his beard is also well kept, may have short hair. Financially very very stable. They love hard once they fall for someone tbh. Like they'd want to give you the world. Like they'd shower you with gifts lol. Like literally. You may have to make efforts to get past their rock hard exterior. Others/close ones would describe them as well established, planner, exotic!? Detail oriented, particular, good time management, hardworker, extravagant, someone who gives respect when they gain respect, well recognised. Right now they are moving on from some situation and are almost on the way to reach their goals and healing etc. Overall they'll love you a lot, they may not express in words but through actions and gifts you will definitely know🦋✨

Possible placements: Capricorn, scorpio, leo, strong 10th house, Major earth and fire placements

Possible fashion aesthetic:

They may possibly change their style a lot but this one popped up more:

Thank you so much for your patience and hope it resonates to some extent. Hope you also like the reading and moodboard, do let me know if you liked it or not, it helps me improvise! Have a lovely day/night ahead love🖤✨

[mc-critical]

How do you think Şah Huban and Ibrahim's relationship really was? We've never been given insights about it and while I would have loved flashbacks, the way it is also fits well imo. Şah has an air of mystery around her, part of why I love her so, because I love unravelling ambiguous yet clear characters with hints but not insights to their backstory. I've always been drawn to them and Şah Huban is another one of them.

Personally, I can see why they would be drawn to each other at first. They are both shown as appreciative of art, very intelligent and pragmatic and have a similar personality, but in the long run I can't see them working as both prefer to be the dominant partner and Şah is very prideful and always maintains a power balance with those not from the family, whereas Ibrahim is quite insecure. They'd clash.

Even Hatice's reminder of his status hurt him so much that he started an affair with Nigar. According to him, it was a loss of innocence between them and for sure Hatice's innocence, purity, and nativity is what I think drew him to her, and I can see why. Among all the darkness of politics, power plays, his own insecurities and early loss of innocence, Hatice would have been the one ray of light to him..Their entire early interactions and love was so pure and free of darkness and I don't think he ever had that with Şah, who I don't think was ever innocent.

Şah also told Hürrem that Ibrahim is quite difficult to control and I thought that was maybe hinting at the past. It always seemed to me that she was the one who ended things with Ibrahim, judging by her and Ibrahim's interactions ( I really wish we had more of those ) and I have many theories why.

Also, my personal interpretation is that she did move on from Ibrahim and only had vestiges of her feelings for him, his memories to be more precise, left by the time we see her. Unlike many people, I don't think her unwillingness to be with Lütfi sexually or romantically has anything to do with Ibrahim. I just don't think she loves him or wants him and I can see why tbh. While he is a decent enough politician, he doesn't have much personality to be attracted to nor demeanor lmao. even the way he read her that piece of poetry was quite dry, and he is visibly much older than her.

What do you think?

{I also love Şah's character for much of the same reasons you do. Her lack of a backstory and more simplistic design that isn't put through a deconstruction for a character arc in the way Hatice's was during S02/3 bring us one of the most unique characters in the whole franchise. These aspects of her personality complement her motivation and I find her motivation to be the most fascinating element about her that makes for an interesting, contrasting duality in all her relationships. Revealing more backstory for her risks throwing all this out of the window, that's why I'm usually okay with that the show not delving deeper into her past.}

Still, in the case of Ibrahim, I agree that we could've seen a few more flashbacks. I feel Şah's distance and tiny resentment of Hatice stems from her previous feelings for Ibrahim and more flashbacks would put that distance and resentment into more context, which I don't think would harm her character all that much. It would actually help flesh out Şah's relationship with Hatice on a deeper level and that's always welcome for me, since I found their relationship to be the epitome of where Şah's character shines the most. All these delicious contrasts, the way her ambition goes with the care she has for the people she's closest to.... I love it! sorry for the blabbering

I also pretty much agree with your view on Şah and Ibrahim's relationship. They definetly wouldn't get on all that well - their ideals would clash right out of the gate and Şah isn't a person that would pull rank out of ignorance, it's not something she wants to detach from, no, she's living with her position and she's proud of it. Anytime Ibrahim would disagree with Şah, I feel she's going to pull rank instantly. And that's not something that Ibrahim would bear - Hatice did it one time and that one time was enough to make him doubt his whole relationship with her, I believe with Şah it's going to be an even more reccuring conflict and it's going to make things even worse.

I believe that in Manisa, in their past, Şah didn't have hopes for so long when it came to Ibrahim. Maybe she learned very quickly that he didn't have any feelings for her. Maybe Ibrahim didn't pay all that much attention to Şah and if she tried to give him subtle hints, he didn't catch on them at first. If Ibrahim and Hatice indeed had tiny crushes on each other that just hadn't had the chance to flourish yet in Manisa (as the flashback from E58 implied) and Şah became aware of this? All these factors could've contributed to Şah moving forward, along with her ambitious personality. Even her older self isn't a person who would fight what she views as a pointless battle (she didn't want to fight Mihrimah, she didn't get why Hürrem was such a problem at first, she could hold her part in the decisions SS made for Hatice off for so long) and her love for Hatice was apparently present even when they were kids (the whole horse situation), so these would be decent enough reasons for her to want to step out of it.

Her getting to know Ibrahim more personally after he could've gotten the hint is very likely, too. Her "he's difficult to control" line is definetly something to ruminate on: maybe she decided that they wouldn't get along despite of all, because yes, she would like to be on the more controlling side of the relationship. Not only is Ibrahim very insecure and wouldn't handle it when someone is pulling rank on him, this line could hint that a part of Ibrahim has had that ambitious side of him back in Manisa. Not as much in terms of power, but rather as in his sharp mind and dreams he had together with SS to conquer more than Alexander the Great and maybe Şah felt this aspect of his ambition whenever they've interacted. That means he could have exerted some amount of control in the relationship, and maybe Şah wouldn't be so okay. Both could be very dominating and that could very well show even earlier. There wouldn't be any innocence in their relationship, it would only result in clash of personalities and philosophies and probably both of them got aware of this. While with Hatice it was possible for both of them to get over their extremely idealistic delusions, because they both were able and willing to reason with one another deep down, you wouldn't get that with Şah. It's probable she would consider herself right and not realize what's wrong, especially in terms of pulling rank, because well, that's what the tradition and law stands on and for her, Ibrahim's only role is to fit the mold.

Yup, Şah definetly had some of her feelings for Ibrahim remaining, because that's what moved a lot of her conflict with Hatice. Maybe she felt some jealousy that Hatice succeeded to make this work and that could be also a part of why she wanted to stop Hatice from grieving and didn't tell her where Ibrahim's grave was, but on the other hand, she had accepted it to an extent, as seen by her reaction when she learned about the infidelity. One could argue that she got irritated because of her own feelings, but I feel she felt bad for Hatice, too, and was really surprised that he pulled something like this. Yet both circle back to her own feelings anyways. Another reason why I think she didn't get over her feelings for him completely is that (most of) what she does is driven by personal desire and attacks directed to her personal bonds and attachments. It's Hatice's suicide attempt that drove Şah to act against Hürrem, but it's also Ibrahim's death that made her at least think whether should she act, in my opinion, because of something so surprising happening to a personal attachment of hers, seemingly all of the sudden. (in E84, she also said in front of Ibrahim's grave that she wouldn't let his blood stay on the ground) Şah's actions are driven by feelings more than anything else, but she tries her best to mask these feelings and only use them as fuel to her more pragmatic plans, if that means letting go of them or discarding them completely. She puts mind over emotion not because she doesn't have emotion or vulnerability or feelings lingering from the past, it's more because she considers pragmatism and careful planning the better, more effective way to achieve her goals. Just like the dynastic views and the elitism, it's something engrained in her she's proud of, but in the case of her feelings, when she's alone or with Hatice she can open herself a bit more. But because she has gotten over Ibrahim, she would never admit outright she has something for him in front of him or Lïtfi later.

I also don't think Ibrahim has ever had feelings for Şah to begin with. I don't think he forgot their experiences and memories completely (the "did your love turn into hate?" line) , but he has definitely left them behind him, even more than Şah herself.

While I think the love for another (Ibrahim) was a part of Şah's distaste for Lütfi, especially because the first hint of conflict between them, as far as I recall, was him sorta shading on Ibrahim in E82, it's definetly not the only factor. He just isn't a guy she could fall in love with, no matter how much he seemed to love her (more like tough love, but still), I'm sure she has gotten to know the more shadier aspects of his character, since they've lived together for so long. (even though the situation around the prostitute surprised her, since she hasn't ever seen such amount of disrespect, Şah may have seen other skeletons in his closet. He seemed to be very authoritarian in the relationship. She also said in E101 that the divorce was a long time coming and I don't think it all originated from the show, the situations there were simply the peak of previous issues.) It being a forced marriage made things even worse, no one would like a forced marriage. I actually admire Şah for keeping up with this marriage for so long and finding advantage in it, being as composed as possible. (when she is) Their daughter is most probably what kept them together all these years, on a personal level outside of Şah's ambition.