#there's an eye in the st. james park scene

[melbatron5000]

A meta about a meta

This is just weird, but here I go anyway.

Once upon a time, I used to smoke a lot of pot. We were all teenagers once, right? Okay.

A friend at the time had joined the air force, and for reasons unknown (Teenagers, right?) had bought an eighth of weed before she was due to go in. She called me and said, "Man, we gotta smoke this weed before I leave! I'm coming over, I'm bringing snacks, and we have to smoke all of it. Call everyone. I'll be there in half an hour."

I called everyone. No one answered the phone. No one.

My friend arrived, and asked who was coming to help us smoke. Fucking no one, that was who.

My friend said, "You know what we gotta do."

I said, "What?"

My friend said, "It's you and me, man. We gotta do it by ourselves."

Well, shit.

So the two of us sat there and smoked down that entire baggie. It took a hot ass minute. Finally, I reached for the pipe to take a hit, and she said, "It's gone."

Once we got over the shock and pride of having smoked an entire eighth between the two of us, my friend said, "Well, now what should we do?"

Which was hilarious.

When we managed to quit laughing, I said, "I've always heard you should listen to Pink Floyd while you're stoned."

She said, "Do you have any Pink Floyd?"

I sure did. I love Pink Floyd. I put on Dark Side of the Moon, and we sat in complete silence while the whole album played.

When "Money" came on, both my and my friend's eyes bugged out of our heads.

"Dude, do you hear that?" I asked.

She just nodded, blood-shot eyes as wide as they could go.

The guitar solo of the song "Money" by Pink Floyd is a bar fight.

The guitars begin to posture, then argue, then push and shove and punch; someone comes in and tries to break the fight up and is unsuccessful. Then the solo winds down and in one lick they turn back into guitars.

As the end of the song came on, there's that bit where the people are talking. "Well, I certainly was in the right." "He was cruising for a bruising." "I don't really know if I was drunk at the time." My friend and I nearly screamed. It wasn't just us being stoned that made it sound like the guitars were having a bar fight, they actually were having a bar fight, and us being stoned just tuned us in to the subtext.

Go listen, seriously.

And now, I can hear that bar fight every time I hear the song. I've never heard anyone else talk about it, I've never heard it discussed, but my friend and I both heard it, and the people at the end of the song were there for the fight.

What's mah point? My point is, I may have gone back to my teenage years and watched season two of Good Omens under the influence of a substance or two in order to try to catch subtext that is harder to follow in a sober state of mind.

And it fucking well worked.

I just might do it again.

[fuck-you-gaiman]

Woken up from a dream wherein Crowley and Aziraphale got married: Aziraphale dressed in a white suit with cream trim, Crowley dressed in a black one with grey or red trim (Icr). A lady bishop (who may or may not have been The Almighty herself) officiating in a cute little country church while the fucking light of God spills in through the stain glass windows.

My dumbass, not knowing I was asleep, was pissed because I thought I'd just seen major S3 spoilers. Legit went "ffs somebody forgot to tag this with a spoiler warning and now season 3 is ruined."

But ever since I've returned to the world of the woken I've just been-

[toomuchracket]

birthday sleepover (office nerd!matty x reader smut)

final day of matty35!! happy birthday to my favourite boy. have a fic about watching star wars and shagging afterwards to celebrate!! enjoy <3

“why did we need to rewatch the ending of return of the jedi on dvd? i thought i was doing a good thing cueing them all up on demand for you coming over.”

“no, you were, darling, i appreciate it so much, but i really need to show you this bonus feature,” matty kisses your head, before abandoning you completely to stand next to the tv and gesture to the force ghosts appearing to luke skywalker onscreen. “look - different anakin.”

you squint. “what? how?”

“they retconned the digital edition for continuity - added the guy from the prequels to the dvd box set release in 2004,” your boyfriend explains, eyes lighting up in that adorable way they do when he’s passionate about something; naturally, it’s how he looks at you, most of the time. “that’s the original guy, there. same guy who played unmasked vader in the him and luke reconciliation scene, you know. isn’t that weird?”

“yeah.” you’re not lying.

matty moves back to sit next to you on the bed, tugging you onto his lap and gently holding your face. he kisses you, soft and slow and long, and you can feel his affection for you in it. “thank you for marathoning the original trilogy with me, darling. best birthday i’ve had in a long time.”

you pout. “not best ever?”

“that would be the tour of st. james park when i was ten,” he grins. “but this is a close second.”

“i’ll take it,” you kiss his nose. “wait… so if i was to take you on a tour of st. james park…”

“stop it right now, i might cum.”

“oh, for god’s sake,” you facepalm, trying your best not to grin while matty cracks up beside you. “let’s 86 that idea, then.”

“yeah. and we can do that number take away 17 together instead.”

“what… oh,” you smirk at your giggling boyfriend. “then you really will cum.”

“so will you,” matty leans in to kiss your neck. “you know how much i love it when you sit on my face.”

“fuck,” you can't help moaning at the thought of his tongue slicing through you, flicking against your clit with reckless abandon as you writhe on that pretty face of his; the way it's currently soothing the bite he just left on your neck isn't helping, either. “is it bedtime yet?”

matty presses kisses up across your neck to your lips - when they meet yours, you slip your tongue into his mouth, and the whine he lets out completely liquifies your insides and sends them straight into your underwear. “yeah… wait, babe,” he pants against your lips. “we haven’t let maggie outside tonight yet.”

“oh, right,” you look around the room, slightly groggy, for the puppy you were convinced was asleep on her bed by the radiator. “she’s not in here?”

“think she left halfway through the empire strikes back. reckon she was bored,” he looks at you pointedly, smile threatening to break out. “takes after her mother in that regard.”

“i wasn’t bored!”

your boyfriend kisses your nose. “sweetheart, i saw your eyes glazing over like five separate times,” he kisses all over your face, dragging a giggle from your lips with each press of his own. “but you stayed awake through all of them, and you didn’t complain, and i think you deserve head as a thank you.”

“you know, baby, you don’t actually need an excuse to eat me out.”

“yeah, i do,” matty blushes, hiding his face in your neck. “because i’d just have my head between your legs all the time if i didn’t.”

you laugh, holding the back of his head and cuddling him. “well, the sooner you take the dog out, the sooner you can come back and do that to me.”

the speed with which matty practically shoves you off his lap and runs out of the bedroom is comical. he laughs when you smack his ass, turning back to blow you a kiss before running towards the living room, shouting for maggie. you roll out of bed, darting over to softly close the door behind him then making a beeline for your wardrobe.

excitement - and slight nerves, you must admit - building in your stomach, you reach behind a stack of band tees on the wardrobe shelf, standing on tiptoe to grab the paper bag you stashed there a week ago. moving quickly, acutely aware that you have limited time before matty returns, you pull the lingerie from the bag, barely even looking at it before you’re yanking your (well, matty’s) t-shirt off and replacing it with the fancy bra. only once you’re fully dressed in the new underwear do you admire it, moving to stand in front of the full-length mirror and examining yourself. adjusting the chains holding your tits up, and smoothing any creases from the long skirt, you turn, looking at your outfit from different angles, giggling deliriously.

you look hot. extremely hot. matty’s going to fucking lose it.

and he’s going to be back any second - you can hear him padding along the hallway, humming the imperial march to himself. chucking your discarded clothes onto the chair at your vanity, you all but launch yourself back onto the bed, and settle into the first sexy-ish pose that comes to mind: lying on your side, facing the door, elbow propping up your head and top leg slightly bent.

a brief wave of panic washes over you when the realisation of what you’re doing sinks in, but you don’t have time to psych yourself out of it before matty’s knocking softly on the door. “darling?” he sounds concerned. “you alright? can i come in?”

you take a deep breath. now or never, you suppose. “yeah. come in, angel.”

“got worried when i saw the door was- oh my god,” matty’s breath catches when he opens the door and sets eyes on you for the first time. he stands there quite gormlessly for about a minute, mouth agape and pretty eyes blinking constantly, as if to make sure you’re actually lying on the bed in princess leia cosplay and he isn’t dreaming. his eyeline shifts quite constantly, too, flitting from your smiling (smirking) face to your legs to your chest and back again. yours shifts down over his bare chest to his boxers, already beginning to tent, much to your delight.

mission accomplished.

twirling your hair around your index finger, you smile at your boyfriend. “happy birthday, baby,” biting your lip, you beckon him over with the same finger; he stumbles forwards, entranced, sinking to his knees at the side of the bed. you run your thumb over his lips, and matty whines quietly, eliciting a satisfied hum of your own. “do you like my new outfit?” 

he nods so frantically you fear for his neck. still, you want to hear him. “words, sweet boy. want you to tell me what you think about it.”

“okay,” matty croaks out, eyes glued to your tits. “you- you look fucking incredible. um, just, like, so sexy. m’so fucking turned on. never been so hard in my fucking life. seriously.”

he isn’t kidding; you glance down at his clothed dick, visibly straining against the fabric, and you can feel your ego inflating to match. “yeah?” you slide your hand into his hair. “what do you want to do about it?”

“wanna fuck you,” he whimpers, looking doe-eyed at you. “but i wanna eat you out first. can i? please, darling?”

he’s so fucking eager. you’re obsessed with him.

nodding, you move so you’re sitting on the edge of the bed in front of matty, flicking the front of the skirt out of the way; his pupils dilate even more when he sees you’re bare underneath, and you giggle. “go on then, gorgeous.”

matty’s barely gasped out a “thank you” before you’re being tugged towards his face and it’s buried between your thighs. really, there’s no other word for it - if you could think anything coherent amidst the pleasure searing through you with every movement of your boyfriend’s tongue, you’d genuinely worry about whether he can breathe or not, so close is he to your core. but how can you be expected to think when you feel so fucking good?

of course, matty being matty, he’s slightly graceless with his tongue in his overexcitement, but that’s easily remedied - you root your fingers between those curls you love so much, using them as leverage to grind yourself against him and, in the process, guide him to do what you need him to. he groans what you assume, knowing him, is a “thank you” into your cunt, and the vibrations of his voice add an extra layer to the stimulation already turning you into a wanton, whining mess of a woman. “fuck, matty, such a good boy for me,” you pant, stomach contracting with every lick. humming happily, he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on the bud and making you wail.  “yes, yes, just like that… fuck, you’re so good, so fucking good to me. keep going, angel, make me feel good.”

just like you knew it would, the praise spurs your boyfriend on, more than you would’ve thought humanly possible had you not spent copious amounts of time with his mouth on you just like this. after he’s had his fill of making out with your clit - for now, at least - matty turns his attention to your hole itself, licking into it like melting ice cream, driving the muscle into you to the hilt, over and over and over. that in itself is enough to make your legs convulse, but then he adds his thumb to your clit; some form of half-scream half-sob thing drags itself up your throat and past your lips as matty draws every pattern he knows you love onto the bundle of nerves, and your thighs involuntarily clench around his head, keeping him flush against you.

as if he would ever leave you hanging.

some part of your pleasure-numb brain urges you to apologise, tells you that crushing his head like that is surely painful, but it’s quickly disproven by your boyfriend whimpering into your core, pretty little masochist that he is. he looks up at you, beautiful eyes rolling back further into his head with every moan you make, responding with whines and groans of his own. there are a lot of things to like and love about matty, and his focused desire to always make you feel good is one of them - he gets off on this, making you feel nothing less than euphoric, and there’s no way in hell he’s stopping doing what he’s doing until you cum.

and when he rapidly flicks his tongue on your clit, side to side, curls flying everywhere from the force with which he’s shaking his head, you do. the building ball of pleasure in your stomach shatters, careening into your veins and nerves and brain and voicebox, and it’s all you can do to hold him against your cunt until the aftershocks subside.

matty giggles breathily, tenderly rubbing your thighs as you flop back onto the bed and catch your breath. when you’ve stopped shaking quite so much, you sit up on your elbows to look at him. “now where on earth did you learn that last move?”

he shrugs, cheeks rosy from use and damp with you. sweet as caramel and completely earnest, he replies. “just wondered if it would work.”

“jesus christ,” you giggle, shaking your head. “you're perfect, you know that? now,” you beckon him again. “get up here, birthday boy.”

matty doesn't waste any time; he's lying beside you before you've even finished talking, giddy smile intact. you make the same face in return, climbing onto his lap and pressing your lips to his, while his hands find home on your waist. the taste of yourself on him is exhilarating - you moan into matty when it hits you, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth and fluster you even further.

it's such a good kiss that it physically pains you to pull away. but the sight of matty, all messy hair and big adoring eyes, makes up for it. smiling, you stroke his cheek with your thumb. “so, birthday boy, what do you want to do next?”

“hmm,” matty's brow furrows adorably, hands tracing the bare skin of your torso as he thinks. after a moment, he looks up at you shyly. “i’d like you to ride me, please.”

before you can open your mouth to agree, he bursts into speech again. “but only if you want to! we can do something else if you’re not in the mood for that. god, i’d take anything at all. but, also, nothing. i don’t mind,” he takes a breath, smiling lovingly at you and stroking your hair. “to be honest, i’d settle just for looking at you, darling. my beautiful girl”. 

your cheeks burn, your heart flutters, and all you can do is kiss your boyfriend again. it's sweeter than the last kiss, but it quickly deepens into something desperate - you lift your hips and tug gently at matty's boxers, and he lifts his own hips to let you slide them off. you giggle against his lips as he holds you at a funny angle so he can kick the underwear off, pulling back slightly to talk. “can i fuck you now, sweetheart?”

matty smiles. “you can do anything you want.”

“alright,” you grin at the way he whimpers when you take hold of his dick, eyes fluttering closed when you pump it; you softly touch his face as if to stir him. “eyes open, sweetheart. want you to watch me.”

“okay. sorry,” he obliges, eyes opening and widening as you sink down onto him slowly, hands braced on his hard chest. “jesus christ.”

“yeah,” you breathe, jaw dropping as you take him fully. after a second, you begin to grind your hips, riding him slowly to adjust to how big he is. “always feel so fucking good inside me, baby. how is it for you?”

“perfect,” he's fucked already, eyes heavy and jaw slackening, a sheen of sweat covering his chest tattoo. you speed up your movements, and matty groans, gaze fixated on your tits. “can i touch you, please?”

“of course, angel.”

“thank you.” just as you predicted, your boyfriend's hands immediately go to your chest, palming and squeezing as best he can through the bra. feeling generous - it is his birthday, after all - you reach backwards and undo the garment, chucking it somewhere in your bedroom. matty smiles deliriously, and when he lightly pinches your nipples, you can't help the way your hips speed up or the moan that escapes your lips.

clearly, he isn't the only masochist in the room.

your thighs are beginning to burn from the effort, but you ignore it. matty's enjoying this, the way you're fucking him, as evidenced by the whines of your name and groans and whimpers that fall from his lips, punctuated by the gorgeous sound of your skin slapping against his. and you're enjoying it, too - he hits a delicious spot inside you every time your bodies meet, and given your previous orgasm you don't think it'll take long for you to get off again. 

he also seems to be getting close, hips sporadically jerking up into you. it feels good, actually, so good that you decide it might be time to relinquish control for a bit. you smile sweetly. “do you want to do the work for a bit, angel, wanna fuck me?”

“can i?”

fuck, you have the most adorable boyfriend in history. you nod. “i'd really like that.”

“alright,” matty shuffles beneath you, sitting up more against the pillows and moving your arms to rest on his shoulders. he kisses you, so deeply and passionately that your head spins. “can i make you cum, please, darling?”

“yeah.”

he smiles, hands moving to hold your hips. “whatever my girl wants.”

no sooner than the words have left his mouth, matty fucks up into you as fast as he can. you've no idea how he can even move at such a brutal pace, but you're not about to complain; you're not about to do anything, actually, except cling onto him and moan into his neck, your second orgasm of the night creeping closer and closer with every thrust of your boyfriend's hips. urging it on even faster, you slip a hand down to your still-sensitive clit, matching pace with matty and pulling the pleasure out from your very bones. you throw your head back, whimpering praise and pleas for him to get you off; matty watches, mesmerised. “fuck, you're beautiful,” he groans, still fucking you with reckless abandon. “cum for me, please, please. wanna watch you, wanna make you feel good. need it, darling, need you to cum.”

his pleading is what does it for you; with a wail, you bury your head in the crook of matty's neck, whimpering into him as you cum for the second time in under an hour. he brings a hand to the back of your head, tenderly holding you close as his hips stutter to a stop, murmuring more pleas into your ear. “fuck, fuck, please let me cum, can't - shit, darling - can't hold it any longer.”

“do it,” you speak into his skin. “cum, baby, fill me up.”

matty whines, thrusting up into you a final time. he wraps his arms around you as he cums, kissing your shoulder as he recovers. “thank you, sweet girl. so good to me.”

“so good for me,” you lean forward to kiss your boyfriend, both of you unbothered by the cum leaking out of you and onto his stomach when he slips out of you. “always exactly what i need.”

matty smiles. he holds your face so carefully, caressing your cheeks when you pull apart. “i've changed my mind.”

“about what?” you frown, confused.

“about what my best birthday was,” matty giggles, still panting for breath. “it's this one. hands-down. fuck the football.”

you laugh. “can i get that in writing?”

“after today? you can get anything you want,” he laughs, slightly manic, shaking his head in disbelief. “i can't believe you bought and wore that outfit for me, darling. sexiest fucking thing i've ever seen, christ.”

“i'm glad you liked it. i had a lot of fun,” you kiss his nose. “happy birthday, baby. can i clean you up?”

“in a minute, my girl,” matty wraps his arms around your thighs and tugs you until your core hovers over his face, currently set into the biggest smirk you've ever seen. “my turn first.”

[vidavalor]

Fish: A Good Omens Sex Meta Thing

A deep dive meta on fish and that deathless death.

NSFW under the cut. TW: Mention of Satan's attacks on Crowley. Also for those who asked me for more on the Ineffable Husbands and trauma-informed partnership.

Aziraphale, listen to me. The supernatural world? It's a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they've got Up there...

This is basically the requested "Crepes 2" but you don't have to have read that first. I did link it at the bottom if you have not and you're interested in more meta like this one. Thanks for reading. 💕

Couples. Romantic and/or sexual partners who have an understanding of a mutually-agreed upon level of commitment to one another and their relationship. Frequent celebrators of special occasions.

"A team-- a group; group of the two of us." A couple.

Special occasions. Notable life events celebrating milestones and past days significant to a couple's relationship.

"For special occasions." Why Aziraphale bought one dozen cases (144 bottles) of Chateauneuf-de-Pape in 1921, as he either tells or reminds Crowley on the walk to the bookshop in 2008. Only "a few bottles" were still left at that time, according to Aziraphale, after 87 years of Crowley and Aziraphale celebrating special occasions enough times as an unofficial couple between 1921 and 2008 to have drank almost 144 bottles of the wine they only drink on special occasions.

Wedding anniversary. A special occasion; the "big one" of a married couple's special occasions. Celebrated annually by married couples as a romantic day that honors their commitment to one another. In S2, the day of The Meeting Ball is the night that Armageddon: Round Two gets underway. It is also the wedding anniversary of...

Mutt and his beloved spouse. The lovely magician who owns Goldstone's Magic Shop in 2023 and his beloved spouse, who is dry-witted, trans and had on a dress the color of Crowley's eyes at The Ball. Paralleling characters to Crowley and Aziraphale.

Anniversary. For partners who are not married, usually celebrated as a day of significance in their romantic relationship, chosen for its importance to them. Almost always related to a "first" in the relationship, like the day they first met or on which they had a first date.

"This is The Big One, Crowley..." What Satan (while impersonating the voice of Freddie Mercury) said to Crowley about Armageddon while assaulting him in 2008, on the night Armageddon: Round One began. Crowley was supposed to be having dinner with Aziraphale at the time.

The 1.01 sushi scene. Our re-introduction to Aziraphale in 2008. A series of indicators that we learn throughout the course of the season teach us that Crowley was supposed to be with Aziraphale in the Japanese restaurant on this night before he was delayed by Hell, assaulted by Satan, and forced into helping to start Armageddon.

Various scenes in S1 show us that Crowley always comes up on the same side of Aziraphale if he is approaching him from behind when meeting him but we don't yet know that in the first scenes of 1.01. As a result, we might not immediately realize that the reason why Aziraphale opens his eyes and looks to his left after hearing a miracle chime in this scene is because he expected that it was Crowley arriving to meet him after having been running late. In reality, it turned out to be Gabriel on his right-- which Aziraphale first sees in a mirror and which will be mirrored in additional scenes in the show (Crowley dragged to Hell in 1827 and the Gabriel statue on the other side of Aziraphale, etc.). Dialogue from the scene set the next day in St. James' Park that we will look at later on in the meta also confirms that Crowley was supposed to be with Aziraphale in the 1.01 sushi scene.

The sequence of scenes at the start of the 2008 minisode also sets this up by giving us Crowley alone first and letting us revel a bit in how fun he is and like him even more. The contrast with Hastur and Ligur establishes for us that Crowley is about a trillion times smarter and more enlightened than these guys. It's the second scene with Satan, though, that exists to show us that while some of the demons are just idiots, demonic life for Crowley is actual hell.

The "Bohemian Rhapsody" he so endearingly rolled up blaring in The Bentley comes back and now takes on a nightmarish tone as Crowley receives instructions from Satan while driving The Bentley and we learn that Satan can possess him at will and Crowley's sunglasses-- even in the dead of night while driving alone-- start to make more sense. They're a defense mechanism but he's actually defenseless in the face of this threat. It's from watching Satan get in-- through the radio, taking over the music, speaking through the voice of a non-evil entity, jumping through the air and through Crowley's sunglasses through his eyes and into his mind and rendering his body immobile while he's driving The Bentley-- that we are taught the core of what it means to be a demon in Good Omens.

The demons belong to Satan, in Satan's view. They are part of his collective of souls who exist to serve him. They are not individual people existing independent of him. There is no such thing as bodily autonomy in Hell.

What Satan does to Crowley in 1.01 is a metaphor for sexual assault. It's a forcible attack on his body against his will and without his consent. Though the scene is mercifully short, we are left with the awareness that it is short for reasons of the plot in this instance-- because Armageddon is beginning and the purpose of the attack in this moment is to give Crowley directions on delivering the antichrist baby. The scene, though, shows us that Satan can do this to Crowley whenever he wants and Crowley-- an otherwise very powerful being-- has no known defense against it. Crowley is unsurprised by it and that, plus all his various defensive layers already in existence in 1.01, show that it has happened before. Crowley has been on Earth for 6,004 years in 2008 and the implication here is that these assaults have been happening periodically the entire time and are among the issues most responsible for the PTSD symptoms he shows throughout the show.

It's off of this assault, though, that we segue into our re-introduction scenes of Aziraphale in the present and they are, at the start, the exact opposite of this nightmare that Crowley is living. As Crowley is attacked in his car on a dark road alone at night and then has to narrowly avoiding killing a man in an oncoming truck, we move over to Aziraphale's world, not yet realizing that this is the world that Crowley lives in when he can get away from Hell-- that it is actually their world together.

Aziraphale is presented with the sushi from his friend who has prepared it specially for him and we listen to Aziraphale thank him. The Italian of "Bohemian Rhapsody" (symbolic in this moment of Dante's Inferno and Hell) gives way to Aziraphale speaking Japanese (symbolic of mindful living.) The tone is all kind and gentle-- respectful and peaceful. We then get what is, really, the exact opposite of what just happened to Crowley, which is Aziraphale taking a slow breath with his eyes closed, inhaling the scents of the brine of the fish and vinegared rice and the herbs, and centering himself in the present moment as part of the experience of enjoying his meal.

The immediate contrast is drawn between Satan-- Crowley's rapist, who terrorizes him-- and Aziraphale-- Crowley's partner, who loves him, and with whom he has the kind of consensual, mindful, sensual experiences he was supposed to be getting up to on this night when Armageddon began instead.

In S2, the importance of the sushi scene from 1.01 returns as it is mirrored during the attack on the bookshop. Once again, Crowley is away from Aziraphale when he should have been there by that point and Aziraphale is worried about him. Present instead is, once again, Gabriel. This time, Gabriel has undergone a bit of a Jim journey. (Aziraphale offering him hot chocolate instead of tea in 2.01 was also set up by the sushi scene, as it's off of Gabriel being grossed out by the "rose matter" tea, showing again how important the scene is.) In S2, Gabriel is with Aziraphale again, this time pushed back further into the bookshop, and where are they in the bookshop-that-represents-Aziraphale during the sushi scene mirror? They're upstairs, on the landing.

Specifically, they're just inside the top of the stairs in front of a room, the door to which we are shown several times in S2 but which we have not yet seen open.

We have gone into the room next door to it-- that's the guest bedroom, where Gabriel stayed during the season. By process of elimination and out of an idea of convenience here, the room we haven't been inside of that is located at the very top of the stairs is almost certainly Aziraphale's bedroom. So, we've gone from S1 and having Gabriel show up unexpectedly while Aziraphale mistook him for Crowley while he and Crowley were supposed to be having one of their sexy meals together to S2 and Gabriel now there in the mirror scene in front of their bedroom, drawing a bit of a correlation between what these two scenes are both about.

There's also something symbolic to the idea that S2 uses invitations and doors and rooms in the bookshop to symbolize Aziraphale himself and who he lets in and whose voices he is, for better or worse, listening to at different times-- with his mental health crisis being symbolized by the bookshop being essentially overrun to a point that anyone can now get in. The one room that is shown to us but the door to which never is opened in S2 is the bedroom door. The bookshop can get overrun and others can get deeper into it than we've seen before-- demons in the living room, Maggie and Nina and Gabriel upstairs and in the back kitchen table area like the family they've become-- but the bedroom door stays closed because only Crowley and Aziraphale are allowed in there. No one but them can open the door. Metaphorically-speaking... and probably literally as well.

As the sushi scene is paralleled in S2, we get Shax there bullying Aziraphale. Shax is jealous of Aziraphale and his relationship with Crowley and she also fails to understand it because she sees Crowley as a demon like her and presumes he's as dark as she is, having no idea that Crowley's demonic schtick is an act to survive. She gives voice to these questions (and to Aziraphale's most illogical self-doubts-- but self-doubt is never logical...) when she asks:

"Aziraphale, what *are* you? Crowley's emotional support angel? The softest touch? The one who went native? Do you need more big, human meals, Aziraphale? Shall we send up *the sushi*?"

Shax is actually doing something here, language-wise, that the show first did with Hastur in 1.01, and that's making them both useful idiots when it comes to language. Remember Hastur's mistranslation of "ciao" as Crowley leaves the graveyard with the baby? What Crowley said was, as we know, Italian-- Hastur got that bit correct-- but instead of translating it in his mind as meaning the "hello"/"goodbye" that "ciao" means in Italian, he confused it with its homophone of "chow", which he said "means 'food'." It does but in an informal way or in reference to food given to animals.

This is darkly ironic in the scene because of where Crowley is headed in the next scene-- and where he's supposed to be during both scenes. He's supposed to be "chowing down"/having food-- having dinner-- with Aziraphale and food is, as we'll learn over the course of the 2008 minisode, euphemistic for sex in Ineffable Husbands Speak and symbolic in relation to it in the show itself overall. Instead, Hastur isn't entirely wrong when he translates "ciao" as "chow"-- and he might have done so unconsciously in his mind because he knows Satan is going to contact Crowley with instructions soon. He sees Crowley as "chow"-- in the sense of food fed to the animal that is Satan.

In 2.06, while Crowley is taking Maggie and Nina to safety outside the bookshop, Satan is mentioned when Shax demands that Gabriel and Beez be given to her to take "as gifts for Our Master Satan." Dagon-- Head of the Dark Council and not known for mincing her words-- replies that Satan "wouldn't want them... maybe as hors d'oeuvres." Not a single person in the room-- which contains almost every major non-human character in the show shy of Crowley-- disagrees with this assessment. Rape is not about sex-- it's about power-- but in a show that uses food as euphemistic for sex on several different levels, Dagon's comment is chilling.

It not only takes the attacks on Crowley that are already a metaphor for sexual assault and codes them through food in such a way that the feeling you get from the 1.01 Satan scene-- how it comes with an implication that the assaults aren't always a delivery of instructions-- is correct and that, unsurprisingly, Satan is a rapist in every way possible, but it also sees someone who would know in Dagon state that Satan would not actually care that much about Gabriel and Beez. He'd rape 'em, sure, is what Dagon is saying. He's Satan. But they would be just hors d'oeuvres. They're not who he's really fixated on.

The Grand Duke of Hell who betrayed him and their former Supreme Archangel partner are not interesting to Satan is Dagon's statement and not a single person in the room challenges that. No one says anything about it and the scene is deliberately structured so Crowley is not in the room when it's said to create this reaction in the others... the implications of which are just horrible where Crowley is concerned.

Back to Shax in the bookshop attack scene...

Shax parallels Hastur here because they are using her lack of language skills to highlight something to us by what it is that she doesn't understand. Much like with Hastur unintentionally spelling out what's really going on through mistranslations of words, Shax is trying to bully Aziraphale and she's tossing insults at him that are, actually, in the alternative meanings of what she's saying, the answers to the very questions she's been asking.

"Aziraphale, what *are* you? Crowley's emotional support angel? The softest touch?..." In insulting Aziraphale, Shax is using Crowley's mental health issues as a way of insulting both of them here, which shows how Hell obviously isn't exactly the most trauma-aware place. She's obviously saying that Crowley is comparable in mental health issues to humans (whom the demons see as beneath them) who have a need for emotional support animals. Like Hastur with the "chow", there's an animal comparison being drawn beneath the words used here but instead of the ominous lead-in to Crowley being attacked in 1.01, in S2, we have it about Crowley and Aziraphale, not Crowley and Satan.

So, Shax is calling Aziraphale Crowley's pet, right? And then she calls Aziraphale "the softest touch", which is a phrase meaning someone who is really gullible. What Shax doesn't realize is that the other, human-derived meanings of what she just called Aziraphale are the answer to the question of what Aziraphale is to Crowley.

In British slang, "pet" is a term of endearment. To pet someone is to touch and kiss in a way meant to be sexually arousing-- as in, "heavy petting."

The softest touch. This is, quite literally, the definition of a caress.

In S2, Aziraphale pats his and Crowley's pet-- The Bentley-- but he pets Crowley. The only time he tries to actually pet The Bentley is when he's semi-jokingly making it a sexual metaphor for Crowley. It underscores that Shax is almost there in getting it-- she's just not quite understanding the meaning of her own words-- which are words that, like Hastur's ciao/chow moment, exist to tell *us* something in how we look at them more than to tell the character speaking something.

In effect, we get a whole scene in S2 that parallels the 1.01 sushi scene by defining some more what it's really all about through Shax not quite fully getting it. What is Aziraphale to Crowley? is her question and the answer is the softest touch, just in the other meaning from the way that Shax says it. Aziraphale is kind to Crowley and gentle with him. He's the mindful sushi night in the face of the horror chow of Hell. They love each other. It's soft and sweet and that's why Shax has trouble understanding it-- it flies in the face of what she thinks the demon Crowley would want because of the reputation Crowley has sold everyone on regarding who he is, which isn't who he really is at all.

"The one who went native. Do you need more big, human meals, Aziraphale? Shall we send up *the sushi*?" Aziraphale is the angel who "went native"-- he lives a mostly human existence with Crowley alongside the humans. Shax clearly doesn't eat that much as no one has ever called sushi a "big meal" lol but besides that bit of humor aimed our way, this is more tying of food to sex. Aziraphale likes food and he likes sex and in Ineffable Husbands Speak-- which Shax does not speak-- food is euphemistic for sex. What's unnerving about this scene in this moment is that it plays like the later scene between Maggie and Shax does-- as if Shax is reading the thoughts of the character she's bullying and lobbying them back at her. She might well be doing this here and that's why the sushi comes up-- Aziraphale is thinking about it because Crowley should be here and isn't and Gabriel is right near him instead and it reminds him of 2008. (This wouldn't be the only callback to S1 in this sequence, either; there's Aziraphale explaining the fire extinguishers to Nina not that long after this.) Either way, it's writing designed to directly correlate this part of the bookshop attack with the 1.01 sushi scene to further underline what the 1.01 scene is about.

Okay, so, let's look then at why we're so into repeating bits of this sushi restaurant scene in GO and what it tells us about Crowley and Aziraphale's story by what other scenes it ties to...

As the 1.01 episode continues, we get another scene pretty soon after the sushi scene which adds another layer to this by recontextualizing our understanding of the sushi scene-- that's their lunch at The Ritz the next day, in which we learn that Crowley is rather into watching Aziraphale eat and Aziraphale loves it. This then helps to explain Aziraphale's look in the sushi scene when he turns to look in the direction of where he thinks Crowley will be on the left, before it clicks that Crowley is not there and he sees, instead, Gabriel on his right via the mirror on the wall.

Aziraphale hears the chime with his eyes still closed. His eyes are then still on the food when he reopens them and he hasn't had time to see that Crowley is not beside him before he turns in that direction and this is the expression on his face as he does:

That is a pretty sexy little look that was indisputably supposed to be given to Crowley...

In the later scene where they're at lunch at The Ritz, we come in on their meal at the end of it. Aziraphale is on the last forkful of his dessert and we get the idea of kinky lunch from what we see on the tail end of it. But before it? Back at the start of the episode, set the night before? We see that everything that happens the next day at The Ritz actually happens because they weren't able to be together the prior night. It will also help us to understand how Crowley knows about "the fascinating little restaurants where they know" Aziraphale in the St. James' Park scene.

The 1.01 sushi scene tells us that, by 2008, they sometimes sneak out to a quiet, dark place where they think they won't be seen to have dinner together.

What's most notable about the set of this scene in the sushi restaurant is the shocking brightness of one color in particular.

The scene leading into it, as we noted, is Satan's attack on Crowley in The Bentley and that scene is, appropriately, very dark. It's pitch black night outside and Crowley, in his perpetual black clothes, half-blends into the night around him. Flecks of grey and silver are the main sources of light in the scene. The same color scheme tips into the Aziraphale sushi restaurant scene-- with two exceptions. The silver grey remains (Gabriel) and so too does the thick, black darkness but there is more light in the restaurant and it shines over Aziraphale. He looks bright against the black darkness, even though he wears beige. He is the light that is missing from Crowley's scene. But that's not the shocking color to us in the scene. That's the one that saturates its way through the darkness around Aziraphale. That color is...

Pink. The color you get when you mix white (Aziraphale) into red (Crowley). Traditionally, a color of love, romance and health.

Pink plume. The energy field emanating from the bookshop when Crowley and Aziraphale performed a miracle together to protect Gabriel in 2.01. Also: part of Mrs. Sandwich's hair accessory during The Meeting Ball. Mrs. Sandwich represents sex and healthy communication in 'The Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Represent The Stuff of Life' thing the show has going on.

"In the pink." A phrase meaning "in good health."

1967. Flashback scene in the 1.03 Cold Open in which Aziraphale gives Crowley holy water and they discuss their relationship-- specifically, trying to be more openly together. The scene is drenched by the pink light from the sex shops (one called the "Love Shop") that were then in the spot where Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death (symbolic of freedom) is in S2.

Jane Austen. One of the most famous writers to ever live (sorry, Crowley, but she is lol.) Writer of romance novels. A human that both Crowley and Aziraphale knew in the early 1800s. As Aziraphale brings her up to Crowley while they are talking about romance, pink floods the frame through the clothes on the extras in the wider part of the shot besides him. Pink is also present throughout this scene in general, which already parallels 1967 via it being related to set up, The Dirty Donkey and Crowley's turtleneck.

Back to the pink-dipped sushi restaurant in 2008... what else do you notice about this scene that is familiar, now that you've seen all of S1?

Maybe that Aziraphale is actually sitting at a bar? And thought Crowley would meet him there, so they would be sitting at the bar together? Aziraphale also had just spoken at the start of the scene with the restaurant person on the other side of the counter. Where have we seen one of them doing something like that before?

That other rather fish-oriented scene: Rome. 41 A.D....

Rome. 41 A.D.. Aziraphale runs into Crowley in a tavern in Rome. Crowley is miserable and not having the best day of his demon life. Frustrated by the temptations he's been sent to perform for Hell that have him enabling horrible men in the Roman military, he's lonely, tired and grouchy. This initially was worsened by the arrival of Aziraphale, whom Crowley always loves to see but who, in that moment, was a reminder of how broken Crowley felt.

PTSD. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. A psychological condition brought on as a result of experiencing the psychological shock of a traumatic event or events. Some symptoms of PTSD include disturbed sleep, difficulties feeling safe, difficulties trusting yourself and others, anxiety, depression, and intimacy issues.

"In the pink." Remember the phrase meaning "in good health'"? Not a lot of pink in the Rome scene... initially. 😉

"Salutaria." What Aziraphale says in toast as he and Crowley clink glasses. Means "to your health." Crowley clinked glasses but quickly looked away, leaving Aziraphale thrown in the moment as to why Crowley was not rejecting his presence entirely but seemed uneasy and was putting up some walls between them that he had not in this way up to this point.

So, why was Crowley doing that?

Anorgasmia. Modern, clinical umbrella term for all issues relating to disorders surrounding an individual's ability to orgasm. If physical or medicinal reasons are eliminated, however-- as they often are-- then anorgasmia is a psychological mind-body disconnect.

Not an arousal disorder. Sufferers of anorgasmia still experience desire, compounding the impact of the disorder.

Secondary anorgasmia/situational anorgasmia. The inability to orgasm unless under certain conditions, such as through self-stimulation (masturbation). The inability to enjoy partnered sex. Extremely common in rape/sexual assault survivors.

(Diagnosis for anorgasmia are related to biological sex but Crowley is able to switch that at will so he'd be both of these, which are fundamentally the same thing.)

Hot Water Boiler. Device which heats up water in a house or apartment. In S2, a metaphor for anorgasmia.

In S2, Shax is living in what used to be Crowley's apartment and asks him if he knows how to fix the hot water boiler, as it has "two yellow lights" and isn't working. The point is that this used to be Crowley's apartment. Crowley, in 2023, knows how to get beyond a bout of it. He's fixed his own metaphorical hot water boiler-- and also the literal one when he used to live in that apartment. And while he's being sarcastic because Shax won't stop hounding him and Aziraphale, he's also giving her the most sage advice he knows, as he has continuously been doing during the season. In this case, it's to self-love a bit (which is actually prescriptive for anorgasmia in our modern times as well.) That he does is suggestive of the prior issues with secondary/situational anorgasmia.

Alcohol (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). As we looked at in the Crepes meta: Surface layer: alcohol. Hidden language layer: Sex. Quite extraordinary amounts of alcohol. An extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz.

Whiskey. Alcohol. What Crowley orders in a bar. Usually Talisker, which is a single-malt scotch. (Scotch being whiskey made in Scotland.)

Broken bottles of whiskey. What was in the case Crowley brought Mrs. H in 1941 at the start of the sexual metaphor that is The Bullet Catch.

Trauma-informed partner. Modern term for a romantic and/or sexual partner of a trauma survivor who is aware of the pervasive nature trauma can have on a person and who endeavors to provide a sense of safety-- physical, psychological and emotional-- for their partner and to create a relationship centered on healing and recovery, rather than one that causes further distress.

Frequently survivors of one or more forms of abuse themselves, as Aziraphale is. Not expected to be perfect but just to do their best by their partner.

Characteristics of trauma-informed relationships include kindness, empathy, mindfulness, gentleness, well-earned trust, a sense of playfulness, and a well-developed shared sense of humor. (Sound familiar? 😊)

The Bentley. Crowley's car and Linus blanket. As sexual metaphor, when Aziraphale is feeling cheeky: Crowley himself.

Driver's license. Documentation that must be obtained in order to operate a motor vehicle. Requires permission, experience, necessary skills, and willingness to learn. In London, not originally necessary to drive upon the invention of cars, until everyone realized what an absolute disaster that was. Aziraphale long ago passed his test and has had a driver's license since shortly after Crowley bought The Bentley. They did not require licenses at that time but always-eager-to-be-thorough Aziraphale made them give him a test to be sure he was truly qualified to drive.

As sexual innuendo: Crowley, we're absolutely ridiculous. You won't give up your car and I wall myself off in a fortress of books I can't part with but you've been "in my bookshop" and I've been "driving your Bentley" for an absurdly long amount of time. We even swapped bodies a few years ago. It might not actually be possible to be any more intimately familiar with a person than we are with one another and we both know I had these car keys the moment I asked for them so hand them over. No one was exactly a trauma-informed partner in those days but I was-- aren't I marvelous?😉I'll treat your car as gently as I treat you. Give me the keys or I will just keep going until I run out of car sex innuendo and I should warn you that I have lots more...

Trauma-informed partner. Aziraphale.

Mindfulness. A state of mind that focuses on being in the present moment by being conscious of one's thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. A state of the mind being connected to the body and experiencing the present moment consciously and fully. Frequently used to help combat PTSD, anxiety and depression. Also frequently used as a therapeutic intervention for assault survivors experiencing intimacy issues.

Aziraphale and Crowley smelling the magic shop in Season 2 and Aziraphale inhaling the scent of the sushi in 1.01 are both examples of mindfulness exercises. The sushi scene is tied to sex, as the food kinky thing is a form of foreplay, suggesting a focus on sexual mindfulness in bed.

Mind-body connection. What is in need of repair in sufferers of situational/secondary anorgasmia. Sexual assault causes the body to associate a loss of control with being under threat. Whereas people who have not experienced a violation of their bodily autonomy tend to respond to sexual stimulation with a response of pleasure, those who have been hurt have bodies that are wired to react to being touched or to feeling out of control as if they are under threat again, even if they are intellectually aware that the new situation they are in is not dangerous. What is arousing for others can cause a sense of anxiety instead of pleasure. There is also the risk of flashbacks to being attacked.

Healing the mind-body connection requires a trusted partner with whom the person suffering from anorgasmia feels safe and who is willing to help keep their partner in the present moment and help them "re-wire" and recover their body through new, positive experiences.

Asmodeus. The Demonic Prince of Lust. Crowley. A persona to have in Hell to give him big reputation that didn't involve him having to kill anybody and that also acted as a cover for his anorgasmia.

"Crowley." What Crowley asked Aziraphale to call him in 33 AD, just 8 years prior to Rome. An admittance of being mad about Aziraphale.

"What am I supposed to be, an aardvark?" In Rome, as Crowley grows nervous by this wine-drinking Aziraphale who also has nothing to do for the evening that has shown up in his world on a miserable day, he responds to Aziraphale's "still a demon, then?" nervous chatter with a line of his own, asking what else he was supposed to be? An aardvark? Of course, if Crowley was not a demon, being with Aziraphale would be easier and he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place but an aardvark is not just a random animal that Crowley thought up here.

Just prior to this moment, Aziraphale had approached him with "Crawley-- Crowley" and a soft smile. It wasn't actually a mistake on Aziraphale's part but a silent question: is it still alright to call you that? Thanks to S2 and the Job minisode we can see the 33 A.D. scene- in which Aziraphale learns of Crowley's new name-- in a different way. We see it as Crowley romancing Aziraphale a bit-- responding to Aziraphale being obviously a little jealous of Crowley's reputation as the wild Asmodeus with a whisper of how he'd changed his name to "Crowley"-- something that we know now that only Aziraphale understands. In Rome, eight years later, Aziraphale is asking by saying both names if that's still something Crowley feels-- and silently saying he hopes it is by subtly asking and by flirting with him a bit.

Crowley doesn't object to Aziraphale calling him "Crowley" and that encourages Aziraphale to join Crowley, who sends signals that he wants his company, even if he's grouchy. Maybe especially because he's grouchy. He can be grouchy around Aziraphale, who is his friend and will listen.

Aardvarks. Primarily eat ants and termites. In the insect metaphor in the show, humans are ants. (The "ants go marching" of The Flood scene.) Demons were hornets in this analogy but also flies and one could assume that termites might also be a good demonic insect analogy, as termites eat decaying plant material and demolish the dying down into the ground. Since food is sexual metaphor on Good Omens and living creatures are metaphorical in multiple ways, being an aardvark then is being someone who both fucks and kills other demons and humans. Being an aardvark is actually a good metaphor then for what's expected of Crowley in Hell and he obviously has some issues with it.

He doesn't want to kill anybody and he's sitting there wearing Roman military regalia, having been sent by Hell to facilitate some death and destruction in a way that he hasn't been able to Bildad his way out of this time. Aziraphale's presence is always welcome but Crowley's crabby in this moment because he knows Aziraphale is in a place by this point where he wants to sleep with him and they just ran into each other in a tavern and both clearly have the night free and now Crowley's got to decide if he's going to tell the angel or not that he's a disaster of an aardvark.

Aphrodisiacs. A substance purported to increase sexual desire. Named for the Greek goddess of sexual love and beauty, Aphrodite, who has been depicted since antiquity usually nude and on the shell of an oyster (or, occasionally, a scallop), as both are two of the oldest purported aphrodisiacs known to man.

Oysters. History's foremost food-related aphrodisiac... though that's not really proven. A few years ago, Italian and American scientists did a joint study to attempt to prove if oysters really did increase virility. What they found was a very minor increase in testosterone in men brought on by one of the compounds of oysters (which is also found in some other kinds of shellfish.) The difference was so small, though, that the scientists determined that an individual would have to consume a lot of oysters (like, a bucketload) to notice any significant difference. In other words?

Whether it works or not is, like with almost all aphrodisiacs, in the mind of the individual. If you believe it will work, it likely will. It's mind over matter. If you want it to work, it probably will. Thematically, an interesting thing to throw in a scene involving a character deciding he's in a place to work on overcoming psychologically-based anorgasmia.

The ancient Romans were obsessed with the oyster-- particularly the soldiers of the Roman military. Much of the cultural awareness of oysters as having a reputation today as being sex-boosting food is actually rooted to the beginnings of that trend in ancient Rome. Both Crowley and Aziraphale would have been aware of the reputation of the oyster in 41 A.D. and Crowley wearing military regalia might have been one of the reasons, in particular, that Aziraphale chose oysters as an euphemism to convey his meaning.

Oysters. Fish. To eat them, you have first got to get them out of their protective shells.

Adam and Eve. The first humans and the other inhabitants of The Garden of Eden. Parallels to Crowley and Aziraphale. Eve gave Adam food-- showed him the pleasures of eating the apple. It sent them on a path of sensual exploration and Adam, freed by Eve showing him food, gave her sex in return.

The other two in Eden at the time-- The Angel of the Eastern Gate and The Serpent of Eden-- are actually no different.

Crowley tempted Eve but Crowley also parallels Eve to Aziraphale's Adam. Crowley encouraged Aziraphale to try the ox ribs and unleashed the raging hedonist that Aziraphale can be. Rome in 41 A.D. is Aziraphale then realizing just how much they are Adam and Eve. (Something that they become aware of over time and is at the root of things like Crowley dryly saying that it's "time to leave The Garden" in 2019 in S1, when they leave a park to go have kinky lunch together.)

By Rome, Aziraphale is now a devoted gourmand. He also drinks now; he's tried wine at some point in the interim years between the Job minisode and this scene. (This is the first scene in which both Crowley and Aziraphale drink and the first time we see them share a toast-- something that becomes symbolic of them as lovers in scenes in the future, like its parallel scenes in 1941 and 2019-- furthering the suggestion of Rome as the start of their sexual relationship.)

Aziraphale might be in Rome on Heavenly assignment but that's not what he mentions to Crowley, if he is. Instead, he talks about Petronius, whom he assumes from Crowley's military clothes that Crowley will know and whom Crowley does. If referring to, as we suspect, Gaius Petronius Arbiter, then Aziraphale is referring to a being so queer even the historians can't get around acknowledging it-- a courtier who was the taste and style maker of the Roman empire, and who is believed to be the author of The Satyricon, which is basically the foundation of satire in literature but also famously contains a whole chunk of it that is just basically erotica.

Some details of Petronius' life are a little vague so Good Omens is exploiting the wiggle room here to suggest that he actually did own a restaurant. In reality, Petronius wrote in The Satyricon a description of ancient Roman feasts that have been seen as maybe barely satirical because of the whole bacchanalia of the period that Petronius was satirizing. So, by 41 A.D., Aziraphale is moving in wealthy human queer circles in ancient Rome and enjoying all of the pleasures life on Earth has to offer... and he's found Crowley alone in a tavern and is throwing as many of these things together in a sentence at one time as possible to convey an overall sense of would you like to join me?

The Job minisode has already happened. Aziraphale is more than aware that Crowley was enjoying watching him eat. They're both here with the night free and blending in amongst the crowds has never been easier than it was in highly-populated Rome. Aziraphale is used to picking up humans and it's different than it is with Crowley, who is quasi-immortal like he is and his friend and somebody for whom Aziraphale has feelings. There's also something funny about the fact that Crowley is in a (literally) hellish mood and Aziraphale is pretty undeterred and still goes for it. In attitude, Aziraphale is basically like You're in a terrible mood--you need to get laid, Crowley. Lucky I showed up, isn't it? 😂

Meanwhile, Crowley is fully aware of what Aziraphale is up to. He's known since he heard Aziraphale approaching him and has been mulling over how he's going to handle it. The grouchiness isn't just about his bad day-- it's anxiety manifesting as crabbiness. To his credit, Aziraphale seems to get that even before Crowley more specifically shares the source of that anxiety.

So, Aziraphale goes for it and how he does is to pick up on their way of speaking to one another euphemistically that they started in Job's courtyard and introduce food as a way of speaking about sex. This is already amusing in S1 but it's funny as fuck after S2 when we know that the ox ribs have already happened at this point and that that's why Aziraphale is going this route. Aziraphale's like how to see if Crowley wants to smash? Tell him I'm hungry wink wink... 😉

I would also like to point out that they are already in a tavern that sells food. In the wider shots of Crowley in the second half of the scene, a plate of food is on the table beside him. There are oysters *in this bar* lol. Oysters were not uncommon in ancient Rome by this point-- if this conversation were really entirely just about trying this particular kind of seafood, they could just order some from the woman who served Crowley his drink who is three feet away for the entire scene and try oysters right here.

By bringing up Petronius and another restaurant where they sell sexy fish, Aziraphale is laying down an ancient Roman, euphemistic equivalent of do you want to get out of here?

To tell Crowley that he [Aziraphale] hears that Petronius "does remarkable things *to oysters*." To ask Crowley to go to bed with him.

Specifically, to see if the food kinky Crowley wants to go with him to Petronius' new restaurant and try these oysters the human guys are so on about and then go back to where Aziraphale is staying and see if the oysters really do anything to their oysters.

With this one sentence, Aziraphale has just turned "oysters" into three specific, separate-but-interrelated things at once:

1) oysters are fish-- just the seafood itself-- as we're always also talking about the thing on the surface level as well in Ineffable Husbands Speak and this is no different. Petronius makes some yummy oysters, according to the restaurant reviews of ancient Rome, and his new restaurant is an opulent food orgasm of a place and Aziraphale correctly thinks that would be appealing to both of them. He loves to eat and Crowley loves to watch him eat and does Crowley want to go on a little date to do that-- just also with actual sex this time?

2) oysters are aphrodisiacs-- Aziraphale is bringing up the fact that everyone is talking about how eating oysters can increase your sexual desire and bring about more pleasure for you and your partner(s) in bed. Aphrodisiacs are evocative of partnered sex. Not that you can't take them for fun times on your own but most people do not so bringing them up then sets up the verbal italics of "to oysters" that lands Aziraphale's invitation, unintentionally, straight in the heart of Crowley's issues, because:

3) oysters are a partnered sex orgasm-- Aziraphale says he (Petronius) "does remarkable things to oysters" so Petronius makes delicious oysters, which are what you eat to increase sexual desire and therefore what apparently cause you to experience more pleasure for longer and to climax harder... the innuendo is that the oysters (the aphrodisiacs) do things to your oysters (your orgasm).

Surprise twist, Aziraphale...

Crowley has made sure it never occurs to anyone that he has problems in bed and that has included Aziraphale up to this point.

Crowley basically now has a couple of choices. He can gently rebuff Aziraphale's offer, hopefully without embarrassing him too much, and they can try to pretend this never happened, and then he knows that Aziraphale is probably never going to ask him again. Not an option. Who knows when else they might find each other with the night free like this again? and Crowley does want to try.

He can pretend there's nothing wrong with him and stress himself into a disaster, like he's probably tried to do with humans before but they die within a couple of decades and take the embarrassment with them but Aziraphale's going to live for ages, is really his only friend, and Crowley's in love with him. Crowley's self-sabotaging at times but he's also an optimist and a romantic, and it's those things that give him some hope that he might not be permanently broken.

Finally, there's that he can just tell Aziraphale the truth because, let's be real here, the angel wants to try it and like hell is Crowley saying no to that.

So, he doesn't.

(Note the red squiggles on his costume that look pink in the light and like a heart monitor jackhammering-- with anxiety, with arousal-- and the candle that burns a pink flame where the light hits the jug.)

"I've never eaten an oyster." Aziraphale has defined an oyster between them as an orgasm had during partnered sex and that is what Crowley is saying he's never had.

He's also possibly saying that he has never eaten an actual oyster-the-seafood, because even though they were pretty common in Rome in the era, Crowley eats less than Aziraphale does, apparently hasn't been in Rome that long, and has had, until this moment, no reason to try the fish everyone is throwing back to try to increase their sexy times as Crowley's just been avoiding any sexual situation like the plague.

This is both a leap of faith on Crowley's part and a moment indicative of just how much he trusts Aziraphale. He needs every other living being to believe he's Asmodeus but Aziraphale can have the real, unvarnished truth because Aziraphale is the only person Crowley trusts not to hurt him. He knows Aziraphale can keep his secrets and that they have their own private world where vulnerability is allowed. He knows that Aziraphale is his friend beyond anything else.

This is telling Aziraphale that he'd like to try but he's kind of a mess. He doesn't want Aziraphale to feel like it's his fault if this doesn't work and he wants him to know what he's getting into. Crowley has long harbored a suspicion, though, that it would be different with Aziraphale, which is also why he wants to give it a try. If the angel can't help him rewire himself here, no one can.

Emphasizing this is Aziraphale's reaction. If they had been talking about pizza, maybe this reaction would have fit lol but it's clearly not a reaction to learning that Crowley has never consumed one particular kind of squiggly, hard-to-eat, honestly not that great seafood. It's a reaction much more befitting learning Crowley has not experienced something far more delicious and life-affirming than actual oysters-the-seafood.

"Oh-- well, let me tempt you to--" Just consider this moment from Aziraphale's perspective for a minute...

Serpent of Eden Crowley? He is literally the spark that lit the flame of all of humanity here. By tempting Eve into free thought and sensual pleasure, he also empowered her into teaching Adam these things. As a result, Crowley is basically responsible for sex on Earth-- for all of its history. If you live in the Good Omens universe and you've ever had an independent thought, a sensuous experience, or an orgasm, you owe Crowley a thank you note.😂Every play Aziraphale has ever seen, every meal he's ever enjoyed, every human he's ever taken to bed-- all of those experiences are indirectly because of Crowley.

Aziraphale has wanted him for quite literally ever. He compares everyone else to him. No one else has ever made him feel like this. He knows they're attracted to each other but he never felt like he knew what, if anything, he had to offer Crowley. The hottest being he'd ever seen freed him from the prison of his own repression here-- what could he ever give Crowley that was worth something like that? How do you learn together and try new things and adventure together with someone who seems like they're leap years ahead of you and know all the things it took you a long time to find out?

It's at "I've never eaten an oyster" that Aziraphale realizes that the being who freed everyone else got left behind and Aziraphale can fix that. He is good at burning holes in prison walls. Protection and arming others against threats to them and healing and kindness-- that's what he does. He's been here thinking for ages that Crowley would never need anything from him that he knew how to give like this but now he sees it differently. They've shown each other already by this point that they're good at being partners but this one aspect of it always felt to Aziraphale like it would be imbalanced. In Rome, he realizes that it isn't.

Aziraphale doesn't have the vocabulary we have today for these sort of issues and Rome wasn't exactly a bastion of trauma-informed sex lol but he didn't need any of that because he's intuitively good at this. He already knows that it will be fine because Crowley doesn't know it yet but he effectively already told him that it will-- by telling him in the first place. Aziraphale knows that trust and desire are what's needed and that they have those in spades. All he really has to do here is help Crowley relax and get out of his head.

Or, as Aziraphale will put it during the 1941 sexual metaphor that is The Bullet Catch plot: "You do the shooting. I'll do all the hard bits."

What gets Crowley's attention in Rome is how utterly confident Aziraphale is. How empathetic but unpitying. Aziraphale doesn't hesitate and he trips over himself accepting the challenge-- which is awfully cute-- but it's that Aziraphale doesn't treat him like he's broken or seem to see this as daunting that works for Crowley. There is a lot of internalized shame and fear and pain associated with anorgasmia and Crowley has been stewing in this for a very long time up until Rome so for Aziraphale's response to be not dismissive of it but, instead, reassuring, was exactly what Crowley needed. Aziraphale's whole attitude is oh ok no problem should we get going now or..? While he was not happy about Crowley having had difficult experiences before because he doesn't like to think of him in pain, he was really into the idea of Crowley thinking it could be different with him.

Aziraphale really, really, really likes being the person Crowley let in enough for this. Pardon the Crowley pun here but Aziraphale has never stopped crowing about it between them in thousands of years and if Crowley weren't besotted with him, he would have murdered him over it by now. (See: an example in 1941 that we'll look at near the end of this meta and "I had to miracle in the cherries" in Good Omens: Lockdown.)

"No, that's... that's your job. Isn't it?" Aziraphale's use of "tempt" to offer Crowley sex is then something of a joke between them because neither of them are tempting each other in a demonic sense of the word at any time. They find each other tempting though, in the sense that they find each other attractive. To use "tempt" with one another is just to ask each other if they are in the mood for something, not to influence the other into doing anything ("tempt you to a spot of lunch?" and "temptation accomplished" in 2019.)

This is really established first in the Job minisode, chronologically, as Crowley didn't so much tempt Aziraphale to try the ox ribs so much as he just offered them to him and Aziraphale decided to without influence. The same is true for Crowley choosing to try sex with Aziraphale in Rome-- he's really already chosen to by not saying no and that's all before Aziraphale's "well, let me tempt you--".

When Aziraphale replies to Crowley's reaction to the "tempt" line with "No, that's... that's your job. Isn't it?", Aziraphale is teasing him a bit. He's saying he sees through Crowley's massive control issues and that he gets him. You always have to be in control but you don't always want to be. Well, today's your lucky day, Bildad, because we're partners in this now.

Or, as it's known in 2023:

Flame burning pink as Crowley smiles a little for the first time in the scene:

"Oysters! Oranges!" What Juliet (the woman selling snacks) calls out as the opening dialogue in the 1601 scene to entice prospective buyers, the only one of which really is Aziraphale. Oysters-- aphrodisiacs. Oranges-- cinematic symbol of death. Aziraphale chooses...

"Some grapes please! They look scrummy." Grapes. Fermented grapes are wine. Wine is alcohol. Alcohol is sex. We haven't a need for oysters anymore and we shun symbolic death in favor of the little death. The grapes look "scrummy", shortened version of "scrumptious", meaning both "delicious" in food terms and "sexy enough to eat" in people terms. Aziraphale eats them in front of Crowley during the scene.

Oysters. What Crowley and Aziraphale had in ancient Rome.

Oysters. What Crowley and Aziraphale had in ancient Rome.

Oysters (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). Both an aphrodisiac and an orgasm, but...

...since they don't want to bring up anorgasmia every time they're flirting or talking about sex for the rest of their very long lives... and since oysters on their own are really hard to work frequently into conversation and would get a bit old pretty quickly, they need another word.

So, based on what we've seen in the series, it evolved into...

Oysters = Fish.

Fish live in the ocean, amongst other sea creatures.

Fish & sea creatures (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). An orgasm.

Anything related to the ocean (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). A metaphor for sex.

If it is in or lives in water, it's prime material for climatic innuendo. If it has multiple meanings in English? It will be used frequently as part of wordplay. If it pertains to the ocean or lends itself to destructive adjectives (shipwrecks, sea monsters, bubbling seas and rising waves), it will absolutely be a sexual metaphor at some point.

Such as...

Wahoo. A kind of fish. Also: an exclamation of joy. For obvious reasons, Crowley and Aziraphale's favorite fish joke.

In 1941, Aziraphale seeks feedback in the dressing room on their sexual metaphor Bullet Catch performance-- that they are both more than aware of-- and Crowley agrees that it went well and dryly suggests they "chalk up a win for the side of the angel", turning the common phrase that is usually "...side of the angels" singular to reflect only Aziraphale, who is over the moon that Crowley enjoyed it and cheekily replies "wahoo!" before their flirting is interrupted by Furfur.

Decades later, Crowley gives another stellar performance-- the full, epic saga of his M-25 Orbital Disruption-- to the joyless, miserable lot in Hell and concludes it with a line that he plans to tell Aziraphale later to make him laugh:

Carp. A kind of fish. Also means: to stand around and bitch. Aziraphale telling Crowley to stop standing around getting off on grouching and go get Maggie and Nina for The Meeting Ball in S2.

Gravlax in Dill Sauce. Cured salmon. This one is special and we'll look at it in the Dill Sauce meta about the St. James Park scene soon.

Ducks. Waterfowl. Aquatic birds. This is long enough. 😂 They are a whole separate meta.

Pickled herring. A kind of fish, cured in salt. What was dumped out of the barrel by Elspeth in The Resurrectionist minisode so she could use the barrel to transport her corpse. Crowley and Aziraphale spend half the minisode dragging around a barrel that should contain fish (the little death) but actually contains a corpse (actual death)-- foreshadowing the fact that their date will end with Crowley dragged to Hell and the start of the holy water arc of misery for them.

Red herring. A dry, smoked fish that turns red as it is smoked (ooh la la...) 😉 Also: A literary device, in which something is established with the intent of it distracting the audience from something else in the story. Elspeth and her pickled herring barrel are a red herring that changes The Resurrectionist minisode story from what the audience thought it would be into what it is, distracting the audience from the fact that the story actually began with Crowley and Aziraphale meeting in a graveyard at midnight for... ah... reasons. Aziraphale also turned 'red'-- turned to Crowley's side-- during the course of the episode, even as his shot at getting him some "pickled herring" that evening went up in hellfire smoke.

"Sargeant Shadwell." The hilarious, Sean Connery-esque way that Crowley said Shadwell's name in 1967, made funnier by the fact that a shad is a type of fish... and part of the herring family and this scene itself is a red herring. It misleads the audience into thinking we have a whole new plot about Crowley leading a break in to a church that is rendered inert within a matter of minutes when Aziraphale gives Crowley holy water. Shadwell's name is basically 'Fishwell' and, for Madame Tracy's sake, I hope that's true and not ironically funny. Either way, doubtful that Crowley and Aziraphale haven't joked about his name before. Shad also phonetically sounds like 'shag', the British slang word for fucking, and Crowley's tone of voice in the scene had a ring of 'shag' connotation to it.

Kieler Sprotte/Kieler Sprotten. A German smoked herring dish. A hidden reference in the Baraqiel entry in 'The Demon's Guide to Angels...' book that Furfur had in 1941. Baraqiel is Crowley and the entry, based on what's in it, was written by Aziraphale. One of you requested a meta on Baraqiel so that's on deck for now.

Newt. A semi-aquatic salamander. They live in the water but only some of the time. Also: Newt Pulsifier, an extreme parallel of Crowley who breaks all technology he touches, loves his less-attractive-than-The-Bentley car, and falls for a being who has issues with the purpose they feel they were put into the world to fulfill. Newt gets "in the water," metaphorically-speaking, when he has sex for the first time in S1 with the Aziraphale-paralleling Anathema, which is another example of how he's a more extreme version of Crowley, whose parallel to Newt is Aziraphale helping him through his intimacy issues.

Flounder. A kind of fish. Also means: to struggle helplessly in water. "To flounder" is frequently confused with "to founder", which is wordplay intentionally being used by Aziraphale in the "Seeds of Destruction" scene in S1, which we'll look at in the requested Seeds meta soon.

Bananafish. A kind of fish. Also: the first two words of Aziraphale's magic words. Is it "bananafish" or is it "banana, fish"? It's a little unclear and possibly situational. It's also likely both and a reference to wordplay and sex via fish. "The Bananafish" is also a short story by J.D. Salinger about trauma, PTSD and suicide that correlates to S2 quite a bit but we can look at that in a more Aziraphale's-trauma-centric meta.

The 'drunk-in-the-bookshop' scene. Part of the 2008 minisode, in which Crowley and Aziraphale are drunk and talking on the surface about Armageddon but are actually flirting with each other using sea-related terminology to make some drunken sexual metaphors.

Whales and dolphins. Sea-dwelling mammals. Not fish but live like them, alongside them. Damn big brains. Whales, in particular, are their own metaphor in Good Omens-- above and beyond Ineffable Husbands Speak-- but, in this context, they are non-fish creatures that live in the ocean, so Crowley is equating himself and Aziraphale to whales and dolphins in the drunk-in-the-bookshop scene and calling Aziraphale smart and clever in doing so. He is too drunk to come up with how smart they are ("brains the size of... *gives up* damn big brains" lol). His point is that Aziraphale is so smart, which is so hot, and that's his point. Brain city, whales.

Off of this, a drunk Aziraphale has heard Crowley say "damn big brains" and is thinking you know what *else* is big, Crowley?

"Kraken! Oh, great, bigggggg bugger..." Totally plastered Aziraphale is undefeated at Completely Wasted Wordplay, though, and he has a mythical monster and a whole attempt at a sexual metaphor for Crowley here, thanks to whatever brain cells are still kicking around in his damn big whale brain. The Kraken is huge and we aren't just talking about smart anymore, nope... Adding to the humor is the use of 'bugger'-- The Kraken is a massive one and we're talking about both in size and in terms of quite extraordinary amounts of buggery that Aziraphale wants to get up to here...

Giant squid and octopi. Also not fish but live in the sea, much like the whales and dolphins that Crowley had just mentioned and probably one of the reasons why Aziraphale's mind then goes towards The Kraken.

The Kraken. Mythical sea monster from Norse mythology. The Kraken-- and sea monsters, in general-- are thought to be based on giant squid and/or octopi. Particularly before days when squid and octopi were understood, The Kraken was sometimes described as a "sea serpent". Crowley, in Aziraphale's sexual metaphor here, is The Kraken-- is the great, bigggg bugger who is:

"Supposed to rise up-- right up-- to the surface. At the end. When the sea boils." We're talking about Armageddon on the surface but we're talking about sex under the surface and The Kraken is a mythological being who does not exist, making this drunk conversation even funnier. Adam will manifest The Kraken into existence later on in the season-- but, prior to that, the actual Kraken was a myth. Aziraphale and Crowley both know that. Neither of them believe in The Kraken-the-sea-monster. Aziraphale is just using it as a joking sexual metaphor while they're drunk as all fuck to flirt with Crowley using their whole ocean-themed innuendo.

"The Kraken" is "supposed to rise up, right up, to the surface, at the end". The sea serpent going from the depths of the cold black sea to cresting the surface of the ocean at the end of days, which is Aziraphale using destructive sexual metaphor-- using disaster, death, apocalyptic terminology, etc. as a metaphor for sex. Armageddon is the end of days is a sexual climax. "The Kraken" rises to the surface of the ocean "at the end-- when the sea boils"-- when it becomes too hot and there's no other choice but for the sea serpent to come... to the surface. 😉

"There is a lot of 'underlying unspokenness' and it comes to the surface now and again." Michael Sheen quote describing the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship in S1 in the interview below. I'd bet serious cash he's specifically thinking about The Kraken scene.

Thanks to @procrastiel for showing me the interview.

"Well, that's mah point! Dolphins and whales-- whole sea bubbling-- hard to keep everybody from turning into bouilla--" Crowley's response to Aziraphale's The Kraken metaphor. Actually surprisingly witty at the start considering how drunk they are (it's their damn big whale brains hitting on something every few words lol.) It is, indeed, his point that Aziraphale is talking about-- his boiling point-- but Crowley uses "point" in the other meaning here as well (as in, "that's the point of what I was saying!").

"Whole sea bubbling-- hard to keep everybody from turning into bouilla--" Everybody, eh, Crowley? 😂I thought we were talking about fish being boiled in the end of days here? (Someone ought to get Crowley and Aziraphale to make videos explaining climate change lol.) These fish and dolphins and whales seem like they could be easily mistaken for people? Like, say, you and Aziraphale, hmm?When the whole sea gets bubbling and it's just too hot in here, it might, indeed, be hard to keep you both from turning into...

Bouillabaisse. A fish soup that is frequently referred to as a fish stew, which is what a drunk Crowley calls it. The dish is French and when Crowley is too drunk to get the word out, he keeps repeating the first half of it-- "bouilla"-- which comes from the French verb "bouillir", which means "to boil". He heard Aziraphale's "when the sea boils" and his mind took it to the fish joke of bouillabaisse. To boil is, of course, to cook something in very hot water.

Crowley is too drunk to get the word out in full and repeats the "boil" part of it, getting distracted at one point and calling Aziraphale "baby" while they make hilarious, drunk, kissy faces at one another, before redirecting it with "fish stew-- anyway! It's not their fault."

A bouillabaisse features at least two different kinds of fish cooked together and served alongside one another in the same bowl.

Bouillabaisse/A fish soup or stew (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). Climaxing together/simultaneous orgasm.

"Fish stew-- anyway! It's not their fault." The end of the 'bouillabaisse' portion of the scene and yes, it's not the fault of the actual fish that will be turned into bouillabaisse when the world ends but this is also Crowley thinking of Aziraphale's earlier "hereditary enemies" comment and saying again that it's not their fault, they didn't ask for this. Tossed drunkenly into this getting sloppy sexual metaphor, it's pretty funny as it's also saying wouldn't be their fault if they turn into bouillabaisse later as who could blame them? World ending, been waiting for days, bouilla bouilla baby...

Good thing they sobered up because they were one more bottle of Chateauneuf-de-Pape away from just speak-singing "Under the Sea" at one another. Even the sturgeon and the ray, angel! They get the urge and start to play! That's *mah point*... 😂

"Heaven will finally triumph over Hell." One of the coded things that Aziraphale said to Crowley in the 1.01 St. James Park scene. While the surface layer of this conversation is about Armageddon, they're actually talking on the hidden layer about having not been able to be together the prior night. The key bit to this that I'm mentioning here is the use of the word "triumph"...

Triumph. A triumph is obviously a great victory or success but the history of the word is interesting. It originally meant a victory parade-- a processional-- held for a victorious general upon his return to ancient Rome. It was exclusive to Rome for a time as a word and still is how historians refer to that type of processional.

By using "triumph" in the St. James' Park scene, Aziraphale correlates the would-be sushi night with Rome.

Sushi. Raw fish mixed into vinegared rice, along with other ingredients. What Crowley and Aziraphale usually go out for in the modern era on their unofficial anniversary, which is the date of the first time they had sex in ancient Rome.

1,967. The number of years between the first time Crowley and Aziraphale had sex and when they were trying to meet to celebrate that special occasion in 2008 in 1.01. Armageddon: Round One began on their 1,967th anniversary. A reference to:

The 1967 scene, in which they talk about their relationship, and "dine at The Ritz" is said.

41. The number of years between Aziraphale suggesting they could one day "dine at The Ritz" in 1967 and when they did for the first time in 2008. A reference to:

The 41 A.D. scene in Rome, which shows how they first became lovers.

Well, with one caveat...

Hellfire and Holy Water. Substances produced by the physical corporations of angels and demons which are lethal to one another's "opposite kind"/"enemy." Aziraphale's body can make Holy Water, which could liquidate Crowley into non-existence. Crowley's body can make Hellfire, which could burn Aziraphale into the same.

As such, they spent some time concerned that each other's, em, "hellfire" and "holy water" might be harmful to one another, until they disproved this theory. This historical HIV allegory is alluded to in the "angel-demon, probably explode" Discorporated!Aziraphale scene in S1 (to "explode" also meaning to "explode a theory"-- to disprove it) and also in this scene here, in The Big Damn Sexual Metaphor that is The Bullet Catch:

Aziraphale's dry "just aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear," right?

So, how did they figure out that they wouldn't kill each other?

Kingdom of Wessex. 597 AD. The Camelot scene. Crowley and Aziraphale cross paths in the time of King Arthur and are so damn over canceling each other out at work. After Aziraphale rebuffs Crowley's initial proposal of basically quiet quitting Heaven & Hell-- just doing the paperwork and phoning it in-- because he thinks Michael will figure it out (not because he doesn't want to lol), the two part the scene without a resolution... but the 1601 scene provides that resolution for us via the reveal of The Arrangement.

Back in 597 A.D., after the scene we saw, Crowley and Aziraphale got creative in trying to find a solution to their work woes and wound up experimenting with what they had been told by Heaven regarding what their capabilities were. They uncovered that Crowley could still do blessings and Aziraphale could do temptations. So long as they kept pulling power from their respective head offices, it didn't matter what type of miracle they did and no one in Heaven or Hell figured it out. This then caused them to also realize that if they were biologically similar enough to be able to do the same miracles, then odds were high that they actually wouldn't hurt one another if they had more expansive sex and they decided to try it. They're both still here so obviously the end result was nothing but wahoo. What else is suggestive of this besides the already mentioned scenes? This one, in 1941:

Excalibur. King Arthur's sword. Excalibur's Chest. The famous swords-in-the-box magic trick, on sale at Goldstone's in 1941. Swords are as much sexual metaphor as guns. Note what's between them in the magic shop in 1941 when they agree to perform The Bullet Catch together that night, after a performance by The Ladies of Camelot:

This is part of the reason why they also use performing miracles as innuendo-- besides the fact that there is just a lot of material there lol. It's because it took them 556 years after Rome but they happened into figuring out Heaven's big secret and it freed them to boff each other senseless for the last *maths* 1,426 years as of S2 lol so it's kind of irresistible. An example is Aziraphale in S2 with "the 25 Lazari miracle you and I performed together the other night" which is on the surface, sure, about the miracle they did together to protect Gabriel but which Aziraphale makes actually sound like what they got up to the other night, probably the one before Gabriel arrived. He's talking about Muriel there for the Gabriel miracle but he's saying it with a tone of: I suspect that the angel is here to verify the miracle that was Sunday night. I'd imagine alarm bells must have been ringing in Heaven constantly since. You and I raised the damn dead, old serpent...

The Bullet Catch. A sexual metaphor for both "firsts"-- 41 A.D./Rome and 597 A.D./Kingdom of Wessex-- mashed together because they were similar... but also a metaphor for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship overall.

The Bullet Catch requires them to trust one another and be vulnerable with one another. It's only possible because of how much they trust in and care for one another. Crowley's ability to fire the gun in a way that won't kill Aziraphale-- which Aziraphale is trusting him to do-- means that Crowley has to trust himself to do it. He has to believe himself capable of it and that he can relax enough to do it. He only believes this because Aziraphale believes it about him and makes him feel safe enough to focus. Aziraphale's trust in him allows Crowley to trust both himself and Aziraphale while Aziraphale's trust in Crowley allows him to let Crowley in enough to let him see his insecurities and be loved in spite of them, something Aziraphale's self-doubts and imposter syndrome keep him from doing with other people. Crowley knows he's imperfect and loves him madly anyway, something Aziraphale has trouble doing with himself and which no one else in Heaven ever has. Crowley's faith in and love for Aziraphale give Aziraphale the confidence to live more freely and feel like he's among the professional conjurers and not just on the outside of life. Their trust in one another helps them trust each other and that self-trust opens them up to experiences with each other that lead to ever-deepening trust of one another that lifts them both in a kind of feedback loop.

"Cheers for, um, getting me off the hook." Crowley thanking Aziraphale for helping him with the Mrs. H situation. He's more than aware that Aziraphale assisting with Crowley's broken alcohol bottles when alcohol = sex to them is more than a little metaphorical for their actual history and he chooses a fish reference as part of the thank you. "Cheers" is that British way of saying "thank you" but it's also obviously what people also say as a toast (which is also a word used to refer to warmed bread, which is also related to partnered sex in Ineffable Husbands Speak.) It's what Crowley actually says in 2019 at The Ritz at the end of S1 in the "Cheers. To the world." moment. Here, it's also a reference to the first time they did clink some glasses together in toast-- the "Salutaria" of ancient Rome. And what is this toast-y thank you of Crowley's for? For getting him off-- that is, for getting him "off the hook."

"Off the hook" refers to a caught fish being taken off the hook. It also became, over time, a phrase referring to communication, from the days of phones with cords. Leaving a phone "off the hook" meant that calls couldn't come through and communication couldn't be had. By 1941, the phrase would have roots in both origins and if we're talking about fish and telephones, we're talking about earlier in the evening in 1941 but we're also talking what it referenced to them symbolically about the past of their relationship. It is also absolutely why Aziraphale jumps on The Bullet Catch as his grand gesture once they get to the magic shop-- he sees a way to continue the metaphor that they're both more than aware of.

It also makes it a thousand times funnier then that poor Aziraphale essentially makes the same assumption about demonic life twice over a bazillion years apart. He thought The Bullet Catch would be a no-brainer, fun thing for them to do because he assumed that Crowley had fired a gun before, only to discover that this was now actually Rome all over again because while Aziraphale has a firearms license and a Derringer hidden in a hollowed-out book in the bookshop, this metaphor was suddenly way too on point because Crowley hasn't fired a gun with someone else around before-- in this case, at all, actually. His dry as all fuck "not as such" response to Aziraphale is well, we both know I've fired the metaphorical gun this rifle is standing in for here but yeah, no, I have no idea how to shoot this thing and I was going to miracle you safe and now those aren't working either so I have to do this for real and I'll just be over here trying not to have a panic attack...

Talking. Making sure the telephone is not off the hook is obviously always a good thing with everyone one trusts around them in life. In a relationship context, feeling safe enough to talk openly with your partner about things which make you feel vulnerable is the mark of a trust and what allows for deep intimacy. Talking in bed-- not just checking in with a partner but talking beyond that-- is a therapeutic intervention for anorgasmia, as it helps someone suffering from it to stay present in the moment. Tends to work in general but even more so if the person involved likes chat in bed as a whole, which a couple of scenes suggest Crowley does (the evolution of it into also some extra spicy chat in the "Seeds of Destruction" scene in S1 and his self-deprecating "you just say 'blah blah blah'" moment in S2.)

"We need to talk." What Crowley says in 1.01 when he calls Aziraphale from a corded public pay phone. This is the first time that Crowley and Aziraphale talk in the present, even if they're in separate locations, and the first time we've seen them interact since the opening scene of the show of them on the wall in Eden. We've spent the first part of the 2008 minisode re-introduced to them separately, not yet fully aware of how they were supposed to be together during it. Crowley doesn't wait until he's back in Mayfair after dropping off the antichrist baby-- he calls Aziraphale from the nearest payphone. He says "we need to talk", a phrase that is, for many, a relationship cliche that comes with a sense of the foreboding but we will learn from this scene also means other things to them.

For one thing, it's a code phrase that automatically triggers them to meet the next day at noon at St. James' Park. If one of them calls and says they "need to talk", they know that it means to meet the next day and when and where. This one they know a lot better than their four million alternative rendezvous spots, as we saw in that other scene in S1 when they set up meeting in the bandstand over the phone. Because it triggers St. James' Park, it means that the initial talk will be all coded in their hidden language, as that scene in 1.01 was, but that is also a form of communication for them and a kind that they actually enjoy.

For another thing, it means that they need to talk in general-- that something is happening and they need to talk about it, as was the case with Armageddon. At the time that they have this phone conversation, they don't yet know that one another already knows about Armageddon starting. We know from all the contextual clues we've already looked at here that they were supposed to be having dinner together earlier and that they also can't say that over the phone so when Aziraphale says: "Yes, I rather think we do. I assume this is about....?" there's a dryness to Aziraphale's tone because a form of talking was already on the menu. Sushi night is Rome and Rome had talking so, yeah, Aziraphale rather does think they need to talk-- to fuck-- and also Armageddon just started so they'll need to actually talk-talk about that as well at some point.

Crowley's response to what it's about, though, is destructive sexual metaphor. What do they need to talk about, on all levels, summed up by Crowley in a word?

"Armageddon." Armageddon: the actual end of the world and Armageddon: their big damn anniversary sex. The Big One. It's an apology of sorts for Hell detaining him and a request that they meet tomorrow.

The scene ends with Crowley placing the phone back on the hook-- indicative of understood, secure communication, the likes of which will be on display in the following scenes of the 2008 minisode.

Talking (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). Both verbal communication and physical communication. Talking means speaking. Talking also means making love.

"Trust me." What Aziraphale mouths at Crowley in 1941 to get him to be in the moment enough to be able to fire the gun. Absolutely one of the things Aziraphale said to Crowley to help him relax in Rome.

"I knew you'd come through for me. You always do."

Aziraphale pouring Crowley another glass of wine (and alcohol = sex) and the wordplay kink out here in full force as there are three levels of meaning happening at once. Surface level is about their success with The Bullet Catch earlier in the evening. Aziraphale knew Crowley would come through for him-- "come through" in the sense of he can always rely upon Crowley to be there for him when he needs him to be.

To "come through" something, though, is also to get through to the other side of something-- to have been able to pull through a difficult time or a struggle-- and refers to Crowley always coming out of dark periods and not giving up. But there's really also the third meaning, which is just the direct innuendo:

Some serious 'tone of voice' at play in this bit here performing a little magic trick and making that 'through' disappear right out of first sentence lol, turning it into: I knew you'd come for me. You always do.

Aziraphale's never going to stop being thrilled at their Roman triumph here and is still happy to remind Crowley in 1941 that they both know Aziraphale just does it for him.

"Well, you said 'trust me', so..."

Just prior to this, Aziraphale had been telling Crowley the magic words he silently said to keep the photo of them from Furfur (more fish-- "bananafish").

"Well, you said 'trust me'..." is Crowley saying "well, you said my magic words, so..." Aziraphale invoked Rome and talked to him so he got there.

"And you did." And Crowley did trust him, so it worked.

Aziraphale, though, is not just thinking about earlier that night in that moment in 1941 when he's staring off, reminiscing, before looking at Crowley like that...

...he's thinking about Rome.

"To drain the whole sea/Get something shiny..." Lyrics from Hozier's "Take Me to Church", pretty uniformly agreed as the most Crowley song that has ever Crowley songed, and which is on his official playlist in S2.

Pearls. The shiny things found in the sea. The jewels harvested from within the opened protective shell left behind by emerged oysters.

The original post referred to a bit in this one:

[humbledragon669]

S2E1 - The Arrival Write Up P4 - the Present Day from The Box to Crowley's arrival at the coffee shop

There has been an awful lot of rambling from me on this episode so far, so let’s see if we can’t rattle through a few scenes without me picking them to pieces. Unfortunately, I am going to fail at the very first frame of this section of the episode, because I want to talk about the location this scene is shot in. It caught my eye from the off because I was struck by how beautifully picturesque it was, despite us being led to believe that our storyline is still in London (note the lack of placard to tell us otherwise). And so of course I Googled. Turns out this street isn’t in London at all, but is in fact in Edinburgh (for those amongst you for whom UK geography isn’t a necessary knowledge item, that’s a distance of just over 300 miles). Huh. Well alrighty then, Crowley and his Bentley are in Edinburgh. Despite us just seeing Crowley in St. James’s Park. But wait, what’s that in the background?

Well on the right of the tower structure is the Gherkin building, and I believe the one on the left is the Shard (this is confirmed in episode 2). Huh. So London after all then, seeing as even the most eagle-eyed of people wouldn’t be able to place London skyscrapers in the background of a photo taken in Edinburgh. I have 3 possible suggestions for what I think is going on here:

Crowley really is in Edinburgh. There’s some sort of portal that he is able to navigate through, which also shows him the background to where it leads.

Crowley really is in Edinburgh. The background view is another example of the impossible view we can see from Heaven’s HQ.

Crowley is in London. This is just a quirk of filming – somebody found a beautiful location for a shot and wanted to use it. Adding distinctive London landmarks into the background is a convenient way of reminding the audience that the storyline hasn’t left London.

Of the three of those possibilities, I am actually minded to go with the last one. I know, I know: it’s not like me to be so dismissive of potential subtext possibilities. If you’ll forgive me, I would like to revisit this little scenario in the next episode, when we get a little more of that background, and I will happily argue my case further.

There’s something I find interesting about Shax’s behaviours. Or more, her lack of them, and what that suggests for Crowley. She is completely clueless to any kind of human subtlety. She doesn’t understand the etiquette of calling vs. showing up, she doesn’t understand sarcasm. It’s something that Crowley seems to think he can educate her in, as if its part of her training for her to reside on Earth successfully. Here’s the interesting thing though – Crowley never had that sort of induction period. He understood sarcasm, manners and etiquette right from the beginning of his time on Earth; we see him using all three during his conversation with Aziraphale on the wall. Furthermore, Shax’s behaviours appear to be consistent with other demons – Hastur doesn’t understand jokes, and Ligur had little historical knowledge of life on earth. In my mind, all of these things just serve to enforce the idea that Crowley has never really been “all demon” further – he’s always been closer to human than he was to a demon. Not only that, we can apply this same set of suppositions to Aziraphale and his (lack of) similarities to his angel brethren, because we see the same sort of discord between his natural human behaviours and their forced ones.

Ooh, soundscape time! It’s been a LONG time since I pointed out something in the soundtrack, not because it’s any less important or impressive, just because there is so much to say about this season in general. We’re coming back to the miracle noises though, and it’s about time because I think they will be come incredibly important to the storyline from now on.

Alright, so we’re back something that sounds like a cymbal being brushed, possibly with a little trumpet-like call at the end of it (that could be part of the soundtrack, rather than the noise for Shax’s disappearance: the two blend into one another so it’s impossible to tell). Now that we know what a miracle sounds like in this season (at least as far as demonic miracles are concerned anyway), we know what to look for going forward.

Alright, so remember what I said about the fly not being in the box but then crawling into the box? Well, the fly is definitely in the box when Aziraphale opens it:

It is very hard to see - it’s probably a bit easier to pick out in the shot that immediately follows, but this one is what we see as the box is being opened, so there can be absolutely no debate on this one as far as I’m concerned. We will also hear the fly leaving the box in a few minutes when Aziraphale steps away from his desk.

Now then, what is this funny exchange between Gabriel and Aziraphale? This is one of those moments that, like the interactions between them in the previous write up section, I have struggled to reconcile with the narrative from the first season where Aziraphale is, rightly, scared to be in Gabriel’s presence.

GABRIEL: You’re funny. I love you. AZIRAPHALE: Oh. Thank you. I- (Gabriel looks on expectantly.) Hm. (Aziraphale looks away.)

So firstly, I’m of a mind that Gabriel says this in his innocent amnesiac state where he doesn’t understand the weight that those words carry (we actually hear him say he “loves” the names Gabriel, Jim, and James, shortly after this exchange – it’s clearly a word he doesn’t understand the weight of). His expectant look at Aziraphale suggests that he understands he wants to hear it said back to him, but the vacant grin also suggests that if he did he’d just assume that was a normal part of conversation. At this point in the storyline, I actually think Gabriel’s behaviour is rather reminiscent of watching a child that ate the brownies Mommie made for the grown-ups, and as such, I don’t think we can put a lot of stake in the words he happens to vomit out of his mouth. It’s actually Aziraphale’s reaction I find more interesting because his first reaction is to say thank you. His expression even suggests that he has taken this to be a compliment, as if he finds it flattering to believe he could be lovable.

angel? What would possess you to even consider saying those words to this being? Granted he stops himself, it’s just I can’t understand why he even begins to say it in the first place. I don’t think I could even argue it was instinctive reflex – there wouldn’t be a pause between Gabriel’s statement and his reply if that was the case. And let’s be clear about the tone here – Aziraphale isn’t under any sort of pressure, there’s no threat of danger, and the dominant mood I get from him towards Gabriel at this point isn’t one of fear, but of exasperation. There’s just something about this little exchange that I can’t make sense of – I even went so far as to consider whether the statue in the background (which I believe is of Diana the Huntress) and the fact that it could be argued to be threatening him with an arrow to the back, but I couldn’t get that to make sense either. Maybe (just maybe) this is just something that was added because it was funny, but I’d love to hear what other people think about it.

 Alright, let’s move on, and talk for a second about what I think is probably a little Easter egg. Where is it that Aziraphale plucks Gabriel’s yet-to-be adopted name from?

Aside from the fact that these books appear to be in literally NO order*, and that Gabriel is about to become the namesake of another nonchalant “Lord” reference, there might be something in the plot of this book that makes it the perfect choice. From what I understand, the book is about a crew that abandons a passenger ship in distress (for “ship in distress” read “Heaven”), and the subsequent effects that the event has on one of the crew members, whose name is Jim, who spends the rest of his life coming to terms with himself and his past, seeking redemption and acceptance. I mean. Oof doesn’t really cover it, does it?

* Some of them don’t even have any writing on their spines for somebody’s sake. I can’t tell you how distressing I find this. The only reason for this I am prepared to accept is that the books are deliberately in a shambles so that no customer can ever find the book they want, and therefore can’t buy it.

Couple of quick notes about the first time we actually see our hero couple interacting in the present day for this season:

Crowley doesn’t offer a greeting when he picks up the phone in the Bentley. Doesn’t even look as if he’s going to before being interrupted. Personally, I think this indicates that there’s only one person that ever calls him – what need is there to offer a meaningless greeting if you’re only really resuming the conversation you had with that person anyway?

Aziraphale gives the whole name of the coffee shop when he tells Crowley where to meet him. Why? Why not just call it “the coffee shop”? There’s only going to be one coffee shop “across the road from the bookshop”, and even if it had changed hands/name since Crowley was last in Soho, I don’t think Crowley would notice the difference.

“2 minutes” is how long Crowley tells Aziraphale it will take for him to get to Soho. 2 whole minutes (that’s sarcasm there). And if we put our detective hats on for a moment, we can see that Crowley is actually already in Soho at the point where the phone rings. How do we know this? Well, it’s the bar. There’s a bar that Crowley screeches out in front of called The O Bar.

Google (and legacy Google Maps photos) shows that this bar used to be on the corner of Wardour Street and Brewer Street, in Soho. And that’s quite apart from the obvious that in order for Crowley to be there in “2 minutes”, he would already have had to be pretty close. So really my point is that it would appear he was already making his way to Aziraphale’s anyway, despite not having spoken to him beforehand. Granted, he has some intelligence from Shax that he likely needs to discuss with the angel, but the fact that he makes his way back to Soho without prior announcement speaks volumes to me about how comfortable the pair of them are with each other at this point. And in all honesty, if my head canon is to be believed, he’s really just making his way home after the night sleeping in his car (which I am pretty sure he does just to maintain the cover story that they aren’t already in a relationship).

There’s that fly again, this time being a nuisance and flying around Jim’s face. He notices it, tries to shoo it away even. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t up figuring out how important that damned fly was when I first watched this episode, it’s pretty bloody obvious.

One last thing here – a sighting of Terry’s hat and scarf!

Aside from how beautifully it’s posed on the rack (or in fact that it’s there at all), what I love about this is the callback to the ad in the paper from season one I pointed out:

Goodness, the Easter egg force is strong in this section. Here’s a whole bundle of them, wrapped up in a tiny object, delivered with a healthy dose of foreshadowing:

Let’s break this down a bit, shall we?

The story of Job will become a big storyline later in the season, bringing with it a host of revelations about both Aziraphale and Crowley.

The verse numbering can be reversed to give “1941”, another hugely important and impactful part of our hero couple’s chronology.

The matchbox itself originates from The Resurrectionist pub, a link to the final historical time period we will see in this season.

That’s all three of our minisodes that will play out later in the season referred to in one shot. Kudos for that, because that is smart. Not only that, but the quote (which we forcibly have our attention drawn to, so we know it MUST be important) is an accurate and genuine bible verse. It brings to mind Crowley’s actions in Heaven when he’s “dressed” as Aziraphale. How that ties in to everything else, I’m not sure.

There’s one more thing of note in this shot:

What’s that you say? Tartan? IN Heaven? Actually IN Heaven? Interesting. I raised the idea previously about exactly what it is I think the tartan additions to Aziraphale’s outfit symbolise way back in the first season:

Now that would make things really interesting, wouldn’t it? Because if that’s true, that would suggest that Muriel is also capable of exercising free will. And they’re not wearing a simple little bow tie like Aziraphale – their costume is riddled with it. It’s on show in a fancy little cravat sure, but it’s also weaved into the layers of their skirt, which I find really interesting. Wearing it in such a fashion would mean that sometimes it’s hidden, other times not, and that when it is on show, you rarely see its full extent. I love that Muriel gets their own tartan pattern too, rather than sharing the one that Aziraphale has; if you look at this in the context of free will, this would signify that there isn’t just one way to exercise it. More on the presence of tartan in Heaven later…

Alright, Crowley’s dangerously fast arrival in Whickber Street seems to me like a good place to stop, not least because I know I have plenty to say about the upcoming scene. Jeez, I said I was going to try and be less microscopic; that didn’t really pan out very well though, did it?! For now though, and as always, comments, questions, discussion; all welcome. See you next time 😊

[may--hawk]

as the stone falls, as the tree falls

Summary:

After the fight in St. James Park, Aziraphale has a long time to imagine Crowley coming back to him. Once, Aziraphale imagined, he would be out flying - oh, he did it once a decade or so, he knew Crowley wouldn’t believe it, but sometimes it got too much, sometimes Aziraphale had to, had to feel free - and so he’d go up onto the roof of the shop and take off and fly, oh, for hours, and he’d imagined, of course he’d imagined, that he would see another speck, dark and large, would fly towards it, even as it was flying towards him, that they would meet, Crowley’s hair windswept - and alright, it’s a fantasy, so sometimes Crowley had long hair, and sometimes had dark robes, and once, just once, his hair was curling and flopping and his eyes were so, so dark, and his robes were white, and that constant frown was gone from his face, that tension from his jaw, and Aziraphale would capture his hands, and say, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” They would fly together. Sometimes, Crowley would say, “Let’s go all the way up, as far as we can,” and they would. Even up in the clouds he was haunted by Crowley. Is this how it’s going to be, from now on? He’d thought.

There are hours when there seems to be no past or future/ Only a present moment of pointed light/ When you want to burn.

Aziraphale’s dreamed of this moment dozens of ways. He’s had the time to. Seventy-nine years, each one of them longer than the one before, shorter than the one to follow. Nearly a century. How long, how long. Seventy-nine years is nothing to the two of them, older than stars, so why does it feel so long? Aziraphale knows why. He’s just a clockwork angel going through the motions now, bobbing out of his little bookshop at the proper time to call the hour, but no one’s listening, not anymore.

Crowley’d known how he’d felt, had known since - oh, that time in Dorset, that one balcony they’d both stepped out from the crush of the ball onto - Crowley taking a turn or two on the floor, here and there to satisfy his own fancy, Aziraphale, always, looking on the scene, indulgently, as a good angel should. And they’d stepped out at the same time, more or less, Crowley to look at the stars, and Aziraphale to try to ease some of that weight in his chest, that crushing feeling of loneliness he got, sometimes, in a crowd of humans, the feeling he shouldn’t, strictly speaking, have, being an angel, and being, presumably, above such things. They’d run into each other out there, and Crowley’d said, “Aziraphale!” with such delight and warmth as he rarely showed, that Aziraphale, who should’ve gone inside, who shouldn’t have been out here, alone, with a demon, their hands almost touching on the stone railing, had stayed. And it was cold, January, the air crisp and clear, the stars so visible out here in the country, and Crowley had thrown his head back and looked up at them, and said something like, “You ever think about getting out of London, angel-” and Aziraphale, heart pounding in - what, he didn’t know, fear, maybe, if Crowley was no longer in London, or maybe it was something else, something that happened as he looked at the long line of Crowley’s throat, rising out of his cravat - so he’d said something sharp, like, “Of course not,” and Crowley’d raised his eyebrows and made a little face but said nothing. He’d raised his champagne glass and Aziraphale found himself holding one, as well. “Cheers,” he’d said, and Aziraphale’d swallowed, and clinked their glasses together. “To sticking around London,” Crowley’d said, and Aziraphale’d swallowed again, champagne going down like a glass full of falling stars.1

Keep reading on AO3.

[mygalfriday]

Love is going to lead you by the hand (Crowley/Aziraphale)

Inspired by Rob Wilkins's comments on the kiss scene.

{ao3}

In all their time together, Aziraphale has grown used to the many and varied ways Crowley looks at him. Mercurial creature that he is, Crowley never runs out of emotions and his face displays them all so clearly. Sometimes, he looks at Aziraphale as though he’d very much like to strangle him. Or perhaps push him into the pond in St. James Park. Sometimes he smiles so genuinely that Aziraphale feels like the cleverest of all God’s creations. There have been dinners where Crowley did not touch a bite, chin in his open palm as he gazed across the table, watching Aziraphale finish his tiramisu. Crowley has a habit of circling him, his gaze dark and interested, and Aziraphale has never been able to make up his mind on whether he feels protected or like prey.

Never, in the whole history of their long acquaintance, has Crowley ever looked at Aziraphale the way he looks at him now. Swaying on his feet, Crowley stares at him with wide, wet eyes – as though Aziraphale had reached into his chest, pulled out his beating heart, and dropped it carelessly on the floor. And then decided to trod on it for good measure.

Helplessly, Aziraphale watches him slide his sunglasses back on. Hiding his face. Hiding from Aziraphale in a manner he hasn’t bothered with in quite some time. There hasn’t been a need to hide from Aziraphale – who knows him best and adores him for every whim, every snarl, every fond glance. To hide from him would be as foolish as if Crowley tried to hide from his own self. Seeing him put that barrier back up between them now is alarming. It feels final in a way that grips Aziraphale with terror.

His quiet, resigned parting words are no balm to his nerves. “Good luck.”

Crowley always walks away in the middle of their arguments – he gets overwhelmed and angry and needs time to cool off. But he always comes back. He did in 537 AD and 1652. And again in 1941. Twice during all that unfortunate business with the Antichrist four years ago. And just recently when he’d refused to help Aziraphale hide Gabriel. With such a well-established pattern of behavior, Aziraphale has no idea why his heart drops to his feet to see Crowley walk away now. He always comes back. So why does he feel so certain this time he won’t?

Panicked, Aziraphale whirls to follow his retreat. “Crowley, come back. Work with me.” His voice trembles and he hates it – hates that he cannot be braver; hates that he sounds like he’s begging. He hates that he is begging and will continue to beg if it means Crowley will not walk out on him again. “I need you.”

There it is. His darkest secret, spilled out on the floor between them. Laid bare for Crowley to hear at last. As an angel, Aziraphale should not need anything or anyone to sustain him other than the Almighty. He certainly shouldn’t need a demon. Definitely not this particular demon – the creator of original sin, the origin of the very first temptation. And oh, he is so very tempting. Aziraphale has been denying himself for thousands of years. Denying Crowley too. It’s almost a relief to acknowledge it. To admit out loud that his need for Crowley is greater than his need for books. Air. God Herself.

Crowley doesn’t look at him and in fact, doesn’t even appear to be listening. As if Aziraphale’s most closely guarded secret means nothing at all.

Pursing his quivering lips together, Aziraphale fights past the hurt. He struggles for composure, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

At last, Crowley looks at him. Through the dark lenses of his sunglasses, Aziraphale cannot make out his eyes. After years of being allowed to see behind them, it’s maddening. “I understand,” he says, in a voice empty of emotion. “I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

His eyes burn but Aziraphale refuses to allow the tears to form. Not while Crowley is watching. He forces a grim, tight-lipped smile and stares at Crowley’s boots so he will not have to watch as he leaves. And he is leaving, Aziraphale knows. Crowley had listened to him beg; heard him confess a need as old as the world itself. It isn’t enough. “Well, then there’s nothing more to say.”

Crowley lifts a hand, his expression strangely blank. “Listen. Hear that?”

Hear? How can he hear anything over the thunderous roar of loss? It deafens him to all else. Crowley is leaving. Aziraphale will go to Heaven alone. He will face all his peers who hate him alone. He will lead alone. He will try to enact change alone. Alone, alone, alone.

“That’s the point,” Crowley tells him. “No nightingales.”

Aziraphale bites the inside of his cheek, refusing to release the bitter cry bubbling in his throat. How can he be so heartless to bring up that song – their song – now? When Aziraphale has laid himself bare, willingly giving up all the earthly delights he cherishes, just for a chance to be with Crowley in peace? When Crowley has taken all of it and thrown it back in his face, rejecting him without a thought?

“You idiot,” Crowley says, and the contempt in his voice brings tears to Aziraphale’s eyes despite his best efforts. “We could have been… us.”

And Aziraphale crumbles. Composure rapidly disintegrating, he turns swiftly from the sight of Crowley, unable to watch him leave. His breath hitches in his chest. His eyes water. He cannot breathe. There is a clenched fist inside his chest, squeezing his fragile corporation’s heart into dust. Just as he feels certain he will not survive it, he hears the sound of footsteps behind him.

Crowley grabs him by the collar of his coat and yanks him back to face him. Aziraphale does not get the chance to struggle or to try and hide his tears before Crowley hauls him forward and crushes their mouths together. Every single word of protest, every fear and insecurity, every notion that Crowley does not need him the way Aziraphale needs Crowley – all of it falls away the moment they’re connected. Like coins in a magic act, they vanish. Or perhaps, in Aziraphale’s case, they scatter across the floor in different directions – never to be seen again.

Aziraphale has longed for Crowley to hold him since the moment the stars were born. He has dreamed of kissing him since the moment he witnessed the first humans give it a try. He has spent centuries reading books of the most perfect kisses ever written and imagined them with Crowley. This isn’t like any of those.

It is unspeakably sad and angry. Desperate. It hurts. Crowley’s sunglasses dig painfully into his skin and Crowley’s teeth press harshly into his lip and Aziraphale treasures it anyway. Because it is Crowley, whom Aziraphale has loved since before Time began. That makes this kiss automatically better than any piece of literature Aziraphale has ever laid hands on. Georgette Heyer has nothing on the demon Crowley.

When Crowley finally releases him, Aziraphale staggers back a step. His knees tremble. The room feels as though it might be spinning. Gasping for breath and still on the verge of tears, he stares at Crowley in disbelief.

Crowley watches him silently through the dark lenses of his sunglasses, a war of hope and resignation playing out across his face in heart-wrenching detail. It is suddenly undeniably clear to Aziraphale that he cannot leave. No matter how angry he might be with Crowley for refusing to see sense or how bewildered he feels by Crowley’s refusal to return to Heaven, it changes nothing in the end. It has always been him and Crowley. Together. Since the very beginning, long before Aziraphale had been willing to admit it.  

How could he possibly abandon Crowley for Heaven now, when he knows what Crowley tastes like? When he knows that Crowley needs him too. He hadn’t said it, of course, but he had shown him with one desperate, biting kiss. Crowley has never been very good at talking things through. Given his most recent method of communication, Aziraphale cannot find fault with him for it.

He struggles to find the words to say so. His breath still trembles and his lips burn, like Crowley had branded them with hellfire. Aziraphale swallows the lump in his throat. There is only one thing he wants. One thing he needs Crowley to know. One thing that will quell this new ache – this throbbing pulse that begins in his mouth and spreads throughout the rest of his body like the most blissful of illnesses.  

“Crowley,” he whispers, voice wavering and tremulous. He reaches out a trembling hand to draw him back in. “Do it again. Please.”

Crowley breathes out harshly, his expression crumpling with relief. A ragged sob catches in his throat. And then he surges forward, takes Aziraphale’s face in his slender hands, and kisses him once more. Aziraphale’s knees nearly buckle. This kiss is better. Softer. So very soft and yet just as demanding as the first had been. It is still sad but it is not angry. It doesn’t hurt. Crowley uses less teeth this time and when Aziraphale parts his lips helplessly, Crowley slips his clever tongue into his mouth to taste him.

They part slowly, no less breathless.

Aziraphale reaches for Crowley’s sunglasses, pausing before he removes them. “May I?”

Crowley nods wordlessly, frozen in place.

Without the barrier of dark glasses between them, Aziraphale finds he can breathe a little easier. And then their eyes lock. Crowley’s naked gaze is very nearly as painful as not seeing him at all. For a moment, they simply stare at one another in silence. Aziraphale cannot bring himself to look away, even when he surmises quietly, “You won’t come with me.”

Eyes wet and expression still wary, Crowley swallows and admits like it pains him to say it, “No.”

“Very well.” Aziraphale lifts a hand to stroke his cheek, marveling that Crowley lets him. “I won’t go without you.”

Crowley stares at him and the noise he makes in his throat sounds like a strangled sob. “Angel-”

It’s Aziraphale who initiates the kiss this time, swaying forward to press their mouths together. His hand latches onto Crowley’s tie for balance but it has the added bonus of bringing Crowley closer, of pressing their bodies together until not even a speck of dust could fit between them. Quite useful. Aziraphale makes a mental note to acquire more ties for Crowley.

They linger over this kiss like a bottle of particularly good wine, clinging to one another in reluctance to part. Crowley noses tenderly at his cheek, his lips leaving a trail of fire everywhere he touches them. It’s an all-consuming sort of heat, rendering it quite impossible to focus on anything else. Including keeping his legs locked beneath him. 

Stroking his hair, Aziraphale attempts, “Darling?” His mouth twists into a faint smile when he hears the gut-punched sound Crowley makes at the endearment. “Could we sit? I think perhaps I might faint if we don’t.”

Grip tightening around his waist, Crowley murmurs, “Am I making you swoon, angel?” Aziraphale feels a rush of affection for his attempt at levity, though he fails terribly. He understands why Crowley prefers to wear his sunglasses during an argument. His eyes always give him away. So uncertain, his demon. Even after those lovely kisses.

Aziraphale touches his cheek. “You always do.”

With Crowley leading the way, they stumble to the sofa in the back room. Aziraphale sinks down onto the cushions first and Crowley follows but does not bother actually sitting. To Aziraphale’s scandalized delight, Crowley slithers right into his lap – bracketing Aziraphale’s thighs between his lanky legs. His hands settle on Aziraphale’s shoulders for balance and the slight weight of him leaves Aziraphale breathless. He’s cool to the touch, denim stretched taut across his slender thighs, his lips a temptation Aziraphale can no longer ignore.

They gaze at one another in tense, hungry silence. Aziraphale drinks in his familiar, beloved features greedily. Hair brighter than fire, strong nose, sharp cheekbones, the loveliest eyes in Aziraphale’s favorite shade of yellow. He had almost lost Crowley for good; he’s absolutely certain Crowley had been moments from walking out of the bookshop and never looking back. The very idea makes his eyes sting all over again. He needs Crowley. Needs him more than this human corporation needs air to breathe. Aziraphale feels like a human with an addiction, craving more. Always more.

Lump in his throat, he looks into Crowley’s eyes and pleads breathlessly, “Kiss me. Please kiss me, I-”

The gentle brush of Crowley’s mouth against his own stalls the rest of his plea in his throat. Lips lingering at the corner of his mouth, Crowley confesses hoarsely, “Never have to beg me for that, angel.”

Aziraphale shudders, tipping his face up for another kiss. And another. Another.

Between one gasping breath and the next, Crowley asks tremulously, “You really won’t go?”

Fingers clenched tight around a fistful of Crowley’s shirt, Aziraphale swears, “Not without you.”

Crowley draws away, meeting his gaze plainly. “I can’t go back, angel.”

He wants to ask why. He wants to push, to make Crowley explain himself. Aziraphale wants more than anything to take him apart and examine him, to understand his innermost thoughts and his moods the way an oceanographer studies the changing tides. Terrified of pushing too hard, he keeps his questions to himself. There will be time for that conversation later. With a curt nod, he replies, “Then neither can I.”

“What about the Metatron’s offer?” Crowley eyes him skeptically and Aziraphale wishes with a sudden, fervent intensity that he could take back every moment leading up to this one where he made it possible, natural even, for Crowley to doubt him. “You said you wanted to make a difference.”

“I still do,” he admits, careful to keep his grip on Crowley’s shirt firm and unyielding. No room for doubt. “But not without you.”

Crowley stares down at him, lips parted in surprise. Amber eyes wide and filled with such reverence Aziraphale feels small under its intensity. Unworthy. A human standing beneath the stars. He resolves to try earning such awe and devotion; he decides he will never stop trying. 

“Then we’ll find another way,” Crowley tells him gently, leaning in to impart another precious kiss. Aziraphale wants to collect them like shells. He wants to display them on the mantel and find them in his pockets. He wants to store them away somewhere safe and take them out on quiet nights to admire their splendor. “Together.”

The next room over, the shop bell jingles.

Only one person would ignore the Very, Very Closed sign on the door.

Aziraphale stares up at Crowley with wide eyes and Crowley stares grimly back. “He’ll be expecting an answer.”

“And I have one to give him, even if it isn’t quite the answer he’d been hoping for.” Aziraphale sets his jaw and straightens his waistcoat, or at least makes a valiant attempt with Crowley still perched on his lap. He risks a glance, catching Crowley in the act of intently gazing at his fingers adjusting his bowtie. “Will you come with me?”

With what looks to be great effort, Crowley tears his eyes away from Aziraphale’s throat. He climbs to his feet and Aziraphale instantly feels the loss of him. Holding out a hand for him to take, Crowley says wryly, “Course I’m coming with you. Not leaving you alone with that twat again.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale chides, even as he lets the demon pull him to his feet. “That’s the voice of God.”

“Aziraphale?”

He flinches at the sound of the Metatron’s voice, pasting on a bright smile he cannot see. Putting on the voice he uses for his customers, he calls out cheerily, “Be right with you!”

The Metatron makes an impatient noise and sighs. “By all means, take your time.”

Aziraphale twitches with irritation.

Crowley watches him, smirking, and repeats with relish, “Twat.”

Exasperated, Aziraphale bites back a smile and leans in to kiss the word out of his mouth. “Fiend.”

“Come on,” Crowley murmurs, lacing their fingers together and tugging him forward. “The sooner we get rid of that decrepit old relic in there, the sooner I can get back to kissing you until your lips go numb.”

Aziraphale flushes, feeling it spread from his cheeks, down his neck, and beneath the collar of his shirt. He feels wonderfully warm and short of breath. “Oh. Well, that’s-” He clears his throat and reaches up a shaking hand to straighten his bowtie. “Let’s get a wiggle on then.”

Crowley groans, even as he pulls Aziraphale from the room. “Not a wiggle on.”

Hand clasped tight in Crowley’s, Aziraphale smiles and hurries to keep up. He has a job offer to turn down, after all.

[bigassbowlingballhead]

A royal carriage waited at the gatehouse of St James's Palace to take the king, accompanied by Charles and George, to Windsor, where the ceremony was to take place. But just as they were about to depart, James instructed George to perform a slight errand', which meant he would be unable to accompany them. Sensing a snub, George asked what was wrong, at which point James burst into tears and declared himself the unhappiest man alive, treated with ingratitude by those dearest to him. With the scene unfolding in public, in front of servants and lords shifting uneasily in their livery and robes, George stood at the carriage door and began to weep. He protested his innocence and demanded to know the charges made against him. But the king closed the door on him and commanded his coachman to drive off, leaving George to watch the carriage disappear into St James's Park.

Why are the gays so dramatic…

Left him standing there CRYING?? So fucking dramatic.

OH Please let this be included. Imagine babygirl standing there watching the carriage disappear and his big gay eyes just leaking down his face

[justforbooks]

With his shrewd eyes and his forks of corn-yellow hair, Julian Sands was a natural choice to play the valiant, romantic George Emerson, who snatches a kiss from Lucy Honeychurch (Helena Bonham Carter) in a Tuscan poppy field in A Room With a View (1985). “I wanted him to be real, not a two-dimensional minor screen god,” he said. “I liked him in his lighter, sexier moments, less so when he was brooding.”

Sands, who has died aged 65 while hiking in mountains in California, was dashing in that film, but he could also project a dandyish, effete or sinister quality. He was blessed with a mellifluous voice and a lean, youthful, fine-boned face, even if, as a child, his brothers insisted he resembled a horse. (He agreed.) In James Ivory’s film of EM Forster’s novel, he was pure heart-throb material. His participation in the notorious nude bathing scene was no impediment to the picture’s success.

Prior to that, he had played the journalist Jon Swain in The Killing Fields (1984), Roland Joffé’s drama about the bloody rise of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. The picture marked the beginning of his friendship with his co-star John Malkovich. “I’d been cautioned by Roland to keep my distance from John because he was an unstable character,” Sands recalled. “And John had been told by Roland to stay away from me, because I was a refined, sensible person who didn’t want to be distracted. In fact, we bonded instantly.”

Malkovich directed Sands in a one-man show in which he read Harold Pinter’s poetry. First staged in 2011, the production had its origins in an occasion six years earlier when Pinter, suffering from oesophageal cancer, had asked Sands to read in his stead at a benefit event in St Stephen Walbrook church in the City of London. The writer “sat in the front row with his stone basilisk stare”, Sands recalled.

Not all his work was so highfalutin, and a good deal of it fell into the category of boisterous, campy fun. In Ken Russell’s Gothic (1986), he played the poet Shelley, who indulges in sex, drugs and séances with Lord Byron (Gabriel Byrne) and the future Mary Shelley (Natasha Richardson), and is prone to recite verse naked in thunderstorms.

In a similar vein but far less deranged was Impromptu (1991), which brought together other notable 19th-century figures including George Sand (Judy Davis) and Frederic Chopin (Hugh Grant). Sands, who played Franz Liszt, described it as “Carry On Composer”.

Born in Otley, West Yorkshire, he was raised in Leeds and Gargrave, near Skipton; he later described his childhood as “part conservative and part Huckleberry Finn”. His mother, Brenda, was a Tory councillor and leading light of the local amateur dramatic society, while his father, William, who left when Julian was three, was a soil analyst. Julian made his acting debut in a local pantomime at the age of eight.

At 13, he won a scholarship to Lord Wandsworth college, Hampshire. He moved to London to study at Central School of Speech and Drama, and while there became friends with Derek Jarman. He played the Devil in an extended promotional video that Jarman directed in 1979 for Marianne Faithfull’s album Broken English. The role had been intended for David Bowie, who dropped out at the eleventh hour. “You’re devilish,” Jarman told Sands. “You can play it.”

The actor’s first film appearance came in an adaptation of Peter Nichols’s stage comedy Privates on Parade (1983), starring John Cleese and Denis Quilley, from which his one line of dialogue was cut. There was more rotten luck when he won the lead in a new Tarzan movie, only for the financing to fall through. It was eventually filmed as Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984), with Christopher Lambert donning the hallowed loin-cloth.

On television, he starred with Anthony Hopkins in the miniseries A Married Man (1983). In Oxford Blues (1984), he was a rower butting heads with a Las Vegas parking attendant (Rob Lowe) who has tricked his way into a place at Oriel College. He was in The Doctor and the Devils (1985), inspired by the Burke and Hare case. “I had a roll in the hay with Twiggy which took about 15 takes,” he said.

Following A Room With a View, he agreed to play the lead in Ivory’s next Forster adaptation, Maurice (1987), before abruptly dropping out and fleeing to the US. In the process, he left behind his wife, the journalist Sarah Sands (nee Harvey), who described him as “restless” and “dramatic”, and their son, Henry. “I’m not the first person to create stability and security and then dismantle it even more effectively than I created it,” the actor said.

Once in America he took on an array of film parts. In Warlock (1989), he played the son of Satan, wreaking havoc in modern-day Los Angeles. Investing this pantomime villain with lip-smacking brio, he was likened by the Washington Post to a “hell-bent Peter Pan” and nominated for best actor in the Fangoria Chainsaw awards. He reprised the role in Warlock: The Armageddon (1993).

As an entomologist in Arachnophobia (1990), he was called upon to have as many as a hundred spiders crawling all over his face. Alternating these mainstream projects with arthouse ones, he played a diplomat in pre-war Poland in Krzysztof Zanussi’s Wherever You Are … (1988) and a monk in Night Sun (1990), the Taviani brothers’ adaptation of Tolstoy’s short story Father Sergius.

For the Canadian horror director David Cronenberg, he starred in the warped and witty Naked Lunch (1991), which disproved those who had declared William S Burroughs’s original novel unfilmable. Just as outré but less accomplished was Boxing Helena (1993), directed by Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David. Sands played a surgeon who keeps a woman captive by making her a quadruple amputee.

After starring as a young classics teacher in his friend Mike Figgis’s film of Terence Rattigan’s The Browning Version (1994), Sands worked a further six times with that director, appearing in his movies even when he was an unorthodox choice for the job in hand. One example was the part of a menacing Latvian pimp in Leaving Las Vegas (1996).

Later roles include a mysteriously unblemished Phantom in Dario Argento’s version of The Phantom of the Opera (1998), Louis XIV (whom Sands described as “the first supermodel”) in Joffé’s Vatel (2000), a crime kingpin named Snakehead in the Jackie Chan vehicle The Medallion (2003), a computer security wizard in the comic caper Ocean’s Thirteen (2007), a younger version of the businessman played by Christopher Plummer in David Fincher’s take on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) and a sadistic paedophile in the gruelling wartime odyssey The Painted Bird (2019).

On television, he was a Russian entrepreneur in the fifth season of 24 (2006) and the hero’s father, Jor-El, in two episodes of the Superman spin-off Smallville (2009). For the BBC, he played two very different actors in factually based one-off specials: first Laurence Olivier in Kenneth Tynan: In Praise of Hardcore (2005), then John Le Mesurier in We’re Doomed! The Dad’s Army Story (2015).

His recent work includes Benediction, Terence Davies’s haunting study of Siegfried Sassoon, and the thriller The Survivalist (both 2021), which found him back in the company of Malkovich. One of several titles still awaiting release is the drama Double Soul (2023) starring F Murray Abraham and Paz Vega.

Sands never stopped wandering, walking, running and climbing. “I am on a perpetual Grand Tour,” he said in 2000. Asked in 2018 about his eclectic career, he explained: “I was looking for something exotic, things that took me out of myself. I think I found myself a little boring.”

He was reported missing while out in the San Gabriel mountains, north of Los Angeles, in mid-January 2023. His remains were found in June.

In 1990 he married Evgenia Citkowitz. She survives him, along with their two daughters, Imogen and Natalya, and his son.

🔔 Julian Richard Morley Sands, actor, born 4 January 1958; died circa 13 January 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #1 v1

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 1, The Arrival, meeting with Shax in St. James's Park.

Take it all in.

Treasure it for all that it is.

Because I am reasonably sure you will never see this exact hairstyle on Crowley again.

In fact, several of his hairstyles will be quite short-lived.

Most, if not all the time, his present day form on Earth is not this well lit or shown from so many angles either.

Nonetheless, we'll walk away from this scene with some presumably relevant information.

(1) His hair is now a brighter red than season 1, including season 1 present day and season 1 flashbacks.

(2) There is yet an even brighter, more saturated, streak of red hair above his left eye.

(3) His sideburns are slightly longer than they were in season 1, for now, and I will still be categorizing them as short.

(4) The waves on his head have spread and made a dip above his right eye.

(5) His sideburns are short in the presence of a human and then Shax before Gabriel is invited into the bookshop. The Book of Life is also mentioned after this scene, but we're going to see a lot more sideburns correlation with Gabriel than the Book of Life.

Questions we will ask in future scenes:

Are the sideburns even?

How long are the sideburns?

Is the brighter red streak visible?

Is the hairstyle different from the present day Crowley scene before it?

Any additional notes about who is around, the current progress of the story, the physical space Crowley is occupying, and how it compares to what we come to expect of the found patterns.

~~~

Writing an introduction for this project was a big, giant mess, so we're just diving right in before I lose interest. An introduction might come later, if I stay committed and get to do what I want to do with this idea.

This project is inspired by these posts:

[melbatron5000]

Crowley 1.0 and 2.0

If you haven't read my crazy theory about there being two Crowleys, start here.

Episode 1: The Arrival

I need to figure out the tells if we're looking at Crowley 1.0 or 2.0, beyond whether he's on Aziraphale's left or right. I'm betting those changeable sideburns probably have something to do with it, besides letting us know who's perspective we're seeing through. Someone else (I do not recall who, now! Sorry!) noted a while ago that Crowley's sideburns seem to have 3 lengths -- I'm betting one length is for Aziraphale's POV, one length is for Crowley 1.0's POV, and the third length is for Crowley 2.0's POV. The sideburns aren't always easy to see in every scene, though. Things being orange seems to also be a hint that Crowley 2.0 is floating around -- orange being Crowley's secret color as far as I can tell. But that's not mega reliable in every scene, either.

It SEEMS like only 1 Crowley is out walking around at any given time, the other is being One with the book shop, as represented by the white bust and the double sets of lights for eyes. I could be wrong about that, and both Crowleys could be out roaming around doing whatever there needs to be 2 of them for. I'm not yet sure.

They do seem to be able to switch quite fluidly -- in the book shop, anyway. Any time the camera cuts away inside the book shop, we could be missing a transition between Crowley 1.0 and Crowley 2.0.

So, the scenes:

At St. James's Park with Shax, I don't yet know how to tell if that's Crowley 1.0 or 2.0. I suspect that Crowley's reflection in Shax's mirror gives us a clue that this is Crowley 2.0, but I'm not willing to swear to that. It sure seems plausible, though.

When Crowley arrives at Give Me Coffee of Give Me Death, he approaches on Aziraphale's right. That's Crowley 2.0. Crowley on Aziraphale's left/right is a dead giveaway.

The whole "Do we know a Jim?" is 2.0, but when they discuss what to do with Gabriel, Crowley is back on Aziraphale's left again, where 1.0 belongs.

The lightning strike -- I'm not sure. Since the Crowleys seem able to switch quite fluidly, particularly in the book shop, I do not know which one it is that storms out and calls lightning.

When Beelzebub shows up in the Bentley and takes Crowley to Hell, I do not know if that's 1.0 or 2.0. Again, without Aziraphale there for Crowley to be on the left or right side of, I can't say. I think there must be other tells but I don't yet know what they are. With him being on the right side of Beelzebub while they talk, I THINK that's Crowley 1.0, but I wouldn't swear to it.

When Crowley comes back and does the apology dance and they do the hiding miracle on Gabriel, that's definitely 1.0. "Jim" has so far only really met and interacted with Crowley 2.0, who goes on Aziraphale's right. So when Crowley says to take Jim's hands, Jim crosses his hands, and is surprised when Crowley 1.0 reaches over to take his left hand.

So that's what I have for the first episode so far -- I'm going to have to do some digging and see what I can come up with for tells as to which Crowley we're seeing. Having only one reliable tell is tricky. And I think which Crowley is doing what matters.

If anyone out there has ideas how to tell the two apart, I'm all ears!!

[mywingsareonwheels]

More "Good Omens" s2 joy

The way in which each of the minisodes gives context for one or more of the flashback scenes in 1.3 is just... *chef's kiss*

"Companion to Owls" bridges the gap between an Aziraphale still trying(ish) to justify heaven's worst actions, Crawley still being shocked by them, Aziraphale not entirely trusting Crawley's motivations (in the Flood flashback) to Crowley's bitter resignation and Aziraphale's weary sadness at the Crucifixion. That "it was your lot put Him up there" is still one of my favourite lines, and Aziraphale doesn't dispute it. Crawley's intervention on behalf of Job's children gives that scene so many more layers, and is a beautiful (and in context heartrending) mid-point on that emotional journey for both of them.

"The Resurrectionist", oh man. It's implied I think that Crowley being dragged down to hell for helping/saving Elspeth is the last Aziraphale sees of him until their meeting at St James's park a few decades later, and I think we can be certain that whatever Crowley's punishment was, it was pretty intense. In 1.3, we went from the lighthearted, suave rescuer of late 18th century to someone who seemed very low and rather traumatised a hundred or so years later, and I think we all knew that something had happened to him. Sounds like that was it. :( So that all gives more context to Crowley wanting "insurance" against hell, so that he has some means of defending himself. But meanwhile, Aziraphale's remembering that the last time they saw each other, a young woman nearly took her own life with poison, so of course he's going to be concerned that Crowley is at risk from a similar action. They're both coming from a very understandable point that "The Resurrectionist" set up. <3

(Also, who is "The Resurrectionist" in the title? I love games like that. Is it Dalrymple? Is it Elspeth? Is it Crowley in saving Elspeth? Or all three? <3 Technically/historically it's both Dalrymple and Elspeth, but in the show? Oh it's all three. :D ) And then "Nazi Zombie Flesheaters", which I admit I wasn't a huge fan of on first watching (I liked it more on rewatch, but I muted/averted my eyes for the brain-eating etc. bits, not at all a gore fan ;-) ) did nevertheless set up the 1960s scene brilliantly. That was perhaps the first time that Aziraphale really sees, in person, just an inkling of how dangerous hell is to Crowley. And it always takes things a while to percolate with him, but I think that's a large part of why he does eventually give in and give him the holy water, as well as adding layers to his protectiveness of Crowley in some of the "now" scenes in both seasons.

And all four (especially in combination with "Before the Beginning") give so much more context to the rest of series 2. Aziraphale's long (and still incomplete, which is understandable <3 ) journey in learning his own sense of morality separate from heaven's. Crowley's terror of the word "nice" as it applies to him. The compromises each of them has to make with the ideals of their bosses in order to function in the world and be true to themselves and the humans around them - and the danger that puts each of them in. The growing mutual loyalty that - make no mistake - hasn't been in any way put aside in their falling out at the end of the series. The way in which the solution to the loneliness they identify in "Companion to Owls" is each other. <3

And of course the fact that more people need to know John Finnemore's writing, given he was not merely the co-writer of the whole season, but the main writer on "Companion to Owls", bless him, and my goodness does he need more love for all of it. <3 I'd love to see Cat Clarke getting more credit for "The Resurrectionist" too!!

[vidavalor]

Hey! Sorry if I'm missing something, but I've had the phrase "unexpected quarter" rolling around in my head for a while and I was thinking about "quarter" as a term for "shelter" or "mercy," and how Aziraphale wasn't at all expecting to be out here giving Gabriel shelter and mercy, but he is, and wondering whether that could be foreshadowing - maybe Gabriel will wind up returning the favor somehow. Do you think there's anything to that, or do you think I'm looking at the wrong definition of the word?

Hi @chaoticlivi! Hot chocolate for your Gabriel-themed Ask. *adds marshmallows* 💕 You and me are on the same page with this one and I'll add to your thoughts. (*does happy dance over other people looking at the words* lol)

Quarter is actually the word that The Voice of God uses as an example in Her opening monologue to teach us to do exactly what you're doing-- to look for multiple definitions of words being used. You're doing exactly what the show is suggesting we do, imo.

When The Voice of God opens up the series, She first discusses theories on when the universe was created, which is both for language benefit and also just to help establish that the Earth is only a little over 6,000 years old in the GO universe. When She gets to the bit about the almost-correct theory, She says that it was off by "almost a quarter of an hour," right? Within the same monologue, She then later reads from the horoscope about help coming from "an unexpected quarter." We now have, in a monologue full of language instruction, the same word used twice, in two different ways, and there are a lot of other examples of things like this. It foreshadows that we will see this a lot and tells us to be on the lookout for it.

I wrote a thing about other ways quarter has been used and about how it's pointing towards Gabriel that I'll link down below if you want to check it out but I want to add this into your thoughts because I totally think that Gabriel will be lending shelter and understanding in S3 to Aziraphale.

If Crowley can walk into Heaven and still open up highly classified files and if, as we've seen in the story, he and Aziraphale discovered long ago that angels can do what the demons can and that that the fallen angels still have their old powers and Heaven is lying to them, then they are now, as of the end of S2, in a position to tell other angels and demons this. Crowley already basically told Muriel when he opened the file in front of them. This would then mean that Ol' Purple Eyes is still, in terms of power, The Supreme Archangel of Heaven. Overthrow The Metatron and the being with the most individual power is Gabriel (who also, honestly, seems like a being about ready to democratize the fuck out of that situation lol.)

In 1.01, The Voice of God re-introduces us to Crowley & Aziraphale together with a four-sentence intro to the park scene that is full of language details, some of which have actually gotten more meaning since S2. Just like how Crowley's joke in the scene of "not delivered-delivered-- just handed it over" about delivering Adam got even funnier after S2 gave us Bildad the Shuite, there are a couple of things in God's monologue in the same scene that make more sense after S2 and much of it has multiple meanings that worked before S2 and still work after it. The first sentence has a line that is very relevant to S1 and overall but has another, new layer after S2, and which goes with our ideas for S3:

"Everyone knows that the best place for a clandestine meeting in London is-- and always has been-- St. James' Park."

One of the many meanings of clandestine in the sentence is what you get when you break the word up: clan destined. A clan isn't just an extended family-- though, it can be-- but it can also just describe a group of people with specific things in common. One definition of park is also just an area devoted to a specific purpose (like an industrial park.) With that in mind, a line that sets up understanding of plot in S1 is also then prophetic for the end of the series as well because the best place for a clan destined meeting in London is-- and always has been-- St. James Park and, well...

[cityofdreamsrp]

THINGS TO DO: LET’S EXPLORE NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA!

New Orleans is a Louisiana city on the Mississippi River, near the Gulf of Mexico. Nicknamed the "Big Easy," it's known for its round-the-clock nightlife, vibrant live-music scene and spicy, singular cuisine reflecting its history as a melting pot of French, African and American cultures. Embodying its festive spirit is Mardi Gras, the late-winter carnival famed for raucous costumed parades and street parties. 

Explore the Historic French Quarter

The French Quarter is always a must-do, any time of year. As the city’s oldest neighborhood, the Vieux Carre is packed with gorgeous architecture, loads of history, a wealth of food and music, and a cast of characters including long-time residents, chatty tour guides, and talented street performers

Take a History Tour of the Garden District

Upriver from the French Quarter lies the Garden District. Take a tour of this neighborhood’s grand mansions and historic cemeteries. The houses and history are a draw, but the neighborhood also offers a wealth of shops and cafes, as well as Commander’s Palace, one of New Orleans’ best restaurants.

Relax at the New Orleans City Park & Art Museum

New Orleans City Park offers a lovely respite from the city and is a great place to spend an afternoon, according to recent visitors. Take a nature stroll through the 10-acre New Orleans Botanical Garden (which boasts 2,000 different varieties of plants) or peruse the art hanging in the adjacent New Orleans Museum of Art.

Tour the New Orleans Jazz Museum

It's only logical for New Orleans to be home to a jazz museum, for this is the city where the musical genre was born. At this comprehensive repository of artifacts from the very beginning of the 20th century, you'll see and hear the history of jazz. The museum also presents more than 365 concerts a year and hosts educational programs on the city's legends, from Louis Armstrong to Al Hirt, Louis Prima and more.

Catch a Ride on the Algiers Ferry

Hop aboard the historic Algiers Ferry to feel the power of the Mississippi firsthand. The short ride on this commuter ferry will give you an amazing view of the city and a few minutes to be one with the river.

See the City on the Streetcars

New Orleans’ streetcar system has been rolling since 1835. While you can no longer ride the Desire line made famous by Tennessee Williams, the existing lines offer a great way to see the city. The newer red streetcars run out to Mid-City, while the older, original green cars take you down historic St. Charles Avenue, past beautiful houses in the famed Garden District and Audubon Park.

Cool-off at the Aubodon Zoo

Spend an afternoon at one of the top zoos in the country. The Audubon Zoo has world-class exhibits featuring animals from Asia, Africa, and South America. You’ll also see seals, reptiles, and a glimpse of the Louisiana swamp. Located behind Audubon Park, the zoo is dotted with majestic oak trees (keep an eye out for resident peacocks). In the summer, the Cool Zoo water park offers a respite from the heat.

Get Classic New Orleans Fair at Cafe Du Monde

The Original Cafe Du Monde Coffee Stand was established in 1862 in the New Orleans French Market. From beignets to café au lait, Café Du Monde is a New Orleans tradition.

Shop the French Market at the Colonnade

The French Market is a market and series of commercial buildings spanning six blocks in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana. It is one of the oldest trading posts in the US. Get your milk, bread,and  eggs, along with unique souvenirs. 

Check out Faulkner Books

Faulkner House Books is located in the heart of New Orleans’ beautiful and historic French Quarter, just off Jackson Square, behind the Cabildo and opposite St. Louis Cathedral’s rear garden. Founded in 1988 by attorney Joseph J. DeSalvo Jr. and his wife Rosemary James, Faulkner House Books is a sanctuary for fine literature and rare editions, including, of course, books by and about Mr. Faulkner.

Get Adventurous with the Swamp Kayak Tour

The Manchac Swamp tour is a secluded, calm, and pristine tour. If you are searching for a gorgeous, natural, and picturesque kayak swamp tour – this is your tour! Deep in New Orleans bordering swamps enjoy calm waters with maybe the occasional wildlife spotting.

Join a Alligator Tour

Jean Lafitte Swamp Tours is located just 15 minutes from New Orleans and offers swamp and airboat tours of Louisiana's back country. They guarantee you will get upclose with the swamp’s best residents, alligators.

Dare Yourself with the Voodoo Mystery and Paranormal Tour

This New Orleans voodoo and mystery tour takes you into the Big Easy's history of vampirism, occult activity, paranormal occurrences and even piracy. Hear tales of haunted buildings, lost treasure and documented sightings of ghosts and vampires as you explore. Use of pro ghost-hunting equipment is also included.

Get in on a Pub Crawl

Explore the famous Magazine street pubs and bars with this one of a kind pub crawl. Come with your walking shoes and an excitement for the nightlife. Open 7 days a week.

[drago-gatta]

What I expect in Good Omens S3, a personal list to come back to and check when the finale will be out:

Crowley being a wholesome demon parent figure to Muriel -like he has been to Jim, but actually even better- guiding them through understanding humans and how to keep the bookshop in pristine conditions, bc deep down he is an optimist.

OR

Crowley resting inside a black hole (to try getting his pain sucked out of himself by the extreme black hole physics thingie. He knows how it works better than me for sure) with Muriel occasionally calling him because they need help with the bookshop.

Nina and Maggie help Muriel with understanding humans since both of them now know their true nature and are chill about it.

Aziraphale missing his books and casually finding the Book of Life, discovering that the ugly ass bitch the Metatron messed it up.

Everytime Crowley sees lovey dovey people he miracles something to ruin their moments.

The same scene of Bullet Catch, but it's Aziraphale that holds his flaming sword and points it at Crowley, who says "I trust you" and holds his neck open for him.

Saraqael helping Crowley and Aziraphale in their own way, but defenitely helping.

Fem!Aziraphale & Fem!Crowley flashback.

Crowley driving the Bentley in heaven or something totally crazy funny action with that awesome car.

All of the most important characters of both seasons making a cameo to help Crowley/Aziraphale/both.

Aziraphale with 3 pair of wings and more eyes than necessary when he gets pissed off real bad.

Crowley using his snake form more.

Gentle hand holding at the Ritz / head on head on shoulder on their bench in St James' park.

Crowley's flat becoming a luxurious jungle since tending the plants is his coping mechanism and oh boy he needed something to deal with his massively hurt feelings.

[airporttaxitransfer]

Introduction: A Journey Through London’s Splendors

Embarking on a journey from London to Luton doesn’t just have to be a mundane transit. A London Luton Taxi offers a canvas of routes, each painted with distinctive landmarks and sights that turn your journey into an exploratory adventure. So, buckle up and prepare for a captivating ride through the historical, cultural, and architectural wonders of London as we traverse various paths to Luton Airport.

Route 1: A Royal Passage

Opting for a route that meanders through the core of London’s royal heritage offers passengers a sumptuous visual treat. Passing close to Buckingham Palace and the serene St. James’s Park, this route transforms the journey into a royal parade. With the majestic views of the Palace, the elegant rise of the Victoria Memorial, and the tranquil avenues of the park, this route indulges passengers in the royal allure of London.

Route 2: Architectural Marvels Unveiled

Choosing a pathway that unfolds London’s architectural brilliance is like travelling through a live museum. Iconic structures such as the Shard, the walkie-talkie building, and the Gherkin make their appearances, telling stories of modern architectural wonder. The seamless blend of historical intricacies and modern marvels, such as Tower Bridge, offers a harmonious symphony of architectural evolution.

Route 3: Cultural Tapestry

Taking a route rich in cultural landmarks, like passing through Camden, presents a colourful tapestry of London’s diverse cultural scenes. The vibrant markets, bohemian vibes, and eclectic array of restaurants and shops make this route a lively journey through London’s cultural heartbeat, providing an energetic start or end to your travels.

Route 4: Rivers and Bridges

A journey alongside the iconic River Thames offers a poetic travel experience. Passing over illustrious bridges such as Waterloo and London Bridge, and witnessing the allure of the London Eye and the robust elegance of the Tower of London, this route is an ode to London’s scenic riverbank and historical charm.

Route 5: A Green Odyssey

For those who crave a touch of nature, choosing a route through London’s lush parks like Hyde Park and Regent’s Park provides a refreshing retreat. The sprawling green landscapes, interspersed with beautiful flowers and serene lakes, offer a peaceful journey amidst the bustling vibrance of London.

Conclusion: Customizing Your Journey

Every London Luton Taxi ride is an opportunity to customize your journey through the stunning vistas of London. The array of routes available allows passengers to select a pathway that resonates with their interests, be it royal elegance, architectural brilliance, cultural vibrancy, scenic river views, or the soothing touch of nature. So, make the most of your ride to Luton by choosing a route that transforms your journey into a delightful exploration of London’s wonders.