#there's a maturity gap there and eventually it would cause problems

[rotinthedark]

I spent years repping Sa.mbastian but, honestly, I've been slowly falling out of it as of late.

[pruneunfair]

What I would change about these manhwas

Matthias is the antagonist as he should be

Instead of a toxic romance story, it would be a story of survival in an abusive relationship

Would tackle the darkest parts of being a mistress to a rich man as a commoner

Claudine wouldn't be a villain and instead another victim of Matthias who becomes Laylas ally

Kyle is the new love interest

The ending would still be very tragic but Layla will at least escape her toxic relationship with Matthias

Obviously Javier isn't going to be the love interest anymore, that will go to Lucas

Javier also won't be a slave bought by Reilynn, they will meet normally and develop a found family like relationship

Iris will be more competent as a villainess

The empire would currently under the ire of the populace and on the brink of a revolution, meaning that Reilynn can't throw money everywhere to solve her problems while acting like a smug asshole about it without consequences thereby making room for character development

Her reputation will be lowered not just for the og villainesses past but also because of her latest behavior.

Reilynns new goal to avoid being sent to the guillotine by future revolutionaries would to try and become a better person with other allys like Javier to help her become more mindful of others

Honestly not much

Just have it be more faithful to the novel

Meaning Keira doesn't need a love interest

Ragibach learns Keiras game and starts to scheme with more strategy, making her an ever growing threat that gets stronger with each defeat she learns from

Zeke gets more attention

Ariande will still have the mentality that she's not wrong but it will actually be acknowledged as a flae

Isabella keeps her high intelligence and cunning behavior in the 2nd life

Ippolotio and Lucrezia are less cartoony villains and more disturbing as people

Larriesa is more then just a yandere fiancé, she'd have a backstory explaing her desire for love and her behavior will be toned down

Arabella would live longer then she did originally

Pretty much almost everyone will be an awful person with consequences

The golden rule will actually matter and give Ariande consequences when she does something evil

Ariande will try to understand her newfound powers instead of forgetting about them until the plot needs it

The first life will be referenced more

Hestia would be called out for her behavior

Cael would no longer be a cardboard cutout

Diana isn't the villainess anymore

The story would focus less on petty revenge but on all of the characters growing as people

The idea is how our biases for our favorite characters can cause us to literally distort the truth

As such instead of constantly blaming Diana until the very end, Hestia would focus on what SHE likes instead to get her mind off of it and discovers how thrilling life is again when she let's her revenge plot go

Cael's suicide would be treated less as a plot device to prove why Diana and Helios are evil but as an actual arc that brings up the real struggles of depression and suicidal thoughts

Helga would eventually stop taking everything out on Hilianne when she realizes it's not her fault the Duchess abused her

Of course this also means Hilianne won't be the punching bag

not all of the male characters will fall in love with Helga

lower Helgas plot armour SIGNIFICANTLY

let the other side characters actually use common sense and call Helga out on some of her bullshit

The running away plot would be handled better

Include some more flashbacks on Alisas family in Edenverre and drop more lore on the siblings we knew less about

Marianne will have more screen time to properly explain how her powers work

Luminas will either not be the love interest at all and instead be a mentor fot Aishas later abilities or he could be MENTALLY Aisha age so theres no maturity gap (think of Luminas still being 2000 but he's physically and mentally a early teen like Aisha)

Aisha would actually feel guilty about the innocent people killed by her father just for being related to her assassin

Ysis and Aisha would have more realistic sibling moments (Ex: Ysis doesn't immediately believe that Aisha is a reincarnated princess of the enemy empire)

Aria will still be descended from commoners

The war between Aria and Mielle will be more equal, basically a battle of traditional villainess vs white lotus

Asher would have a life and personality outside of Aria

The maids would also be their own characters and have some dignity

Isis is actually utilized properly

[cetaitlaverite]

At the AU chapter, Freddie speaking German is the catalyst for her relationship with Daniel. Do you think it would still be the catalyst for their relationship if Daniel were still alive, regardless of whether she met Rosie or not?

no, not at all! i think freddie and daniel definitely would have stayed together if she’d never met rosie (and, of course, if he hadn’t died lol). in the au it’s less of the case that freddie and daniel arguing about her german is the cause for their eventual breakup and more that it produces a gap which allows rosie to slip in. i’ve talked a few times before about the difference between freddie’s relationships with daniel and with rosie being first love vs mature love, and the argument between her and daniel about her german allows her to see it. she’s never considered that there might be another love out there for her because she does genuinely love daniel, but having those problems and having rosie there and so obviously willing to accept all of her allows her to open herself up to the possibility of it.

if daniel had lived and she’d never met rosie that argument would have been resolved. they would have found some sort of compromise. daniel did love freddie an awful lot and if he’d survived the war i think she would have taken him to vienna to see where she grew up and he would have come around to the idea of having children who embrace their austrian culture. a first love can be enduring, after all. but i put the argument into the au because there needed to be some sort of reason why freddie might be open to seeing rosie as a viable option, otherwise her loyalty to daniel would make her discount him immediately.

i don’t know if any of this makes sense but i hope you get what i’m trying to say!!!!

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Girl He Left Behind [Part Twenty]

Fandom: American Actor, RPF, Elvis Presley, Elvis Movie 2022

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Gladys Presley, Vernon Presley, Minnie May ‘Dodger’ Presley, Red West, Sonny West, Gene Smith, Billy Smith, Original Female Characters, Colonel Tom Parker, Billy Smith, Marci Cunningham, Steve Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Mary Jenkins, Alan Fortas, Marty Lacker, Original Male Characters, Mona Goodwin, Joe Goodwin

Word Count: 2106 // Rating: Mature

Summary: When Elvis returns home to Graceland from the Army he’s followed by the headlines ‘The Girl He Left Behind’ but what the media don’t know is that Priscilla wasn’t the first. No, that title belongs to someone Elvis will never forget.

Tags/ Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Poverty, Friends to Lovers, 1950s Elvis, Bad Parenting, Surprise Surprise the Colonel Is a Colossal Prick, Parental Loss, Grief, Fun Fairs, Kissing, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Movie Nights, Arguing, Tension, Denial of Feelings, Age Gap Romance, Underage, Addison is 17 Elvis is 22, Guilt, Betrayal, Extortion, Blackmail, Jealous, Army Elvis, American Draft, US Army, Lying, Time Shift with Elvis moving to Memphis, Flashbacks, Caught

Notes: Okay so I’m ploughing through to the end. I think its gonna be about 25 parts and Im gonna write the rest of the parts together should there be things I need to change. So this is a short one but more is coming soon I promise!

LINK TO ALL PARTS // AO3 LINK // PINTEREST LINK

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996​ @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley​ @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters​

Addison couldn’t move. As Elvis moved around the room looking for clothes they could both throw on she sat on the edge of the bed staring at the plush carpet under her feet. She felt like crying though she didn’t know why. It had always been the plan to tell them…eventually. They had both become tired of sneaking around and though she knew going public wasn’t going to be easy she had always assumed she could prepare for it. Lay the groundwork. Now it felt as though it was ripped from her. Whilst the Colonel might keep their romance out of the tabloids he would almost certainly tell everyone else. She wondered how Gladys and Vernon would take the news. After all, they had invited her into their home in an effort to help her and it seemed all she had done was cause unwanted drama.

When Elvis threw a dress beside her on the bed he finally noticed she was in a world of her own and moved to stand in front of her, breaking her trance. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes wide and worrisome which made his heart twinge.

‘Hey, hey, come on now it’s alright,’ he said with a reassuring smile. ‘Is it?’ she said looking away though he dropped down on his knees in front of her chasing her gaze until she looked at him. ‘Look the Colonel is just pissed I didn’t tell him,’ he said. ‘And what about everyone else?’ she asked, ‘they’re gonna be pissed too.’ ‘Maybe but they’ll get over it,’ he said, ‘besides this is what we wanted right? Out in the open, no more sneaking around.’ ‘I guess,’ she sighed, ‘I just wish it was on our terms y’know?’ ‘I know but it’s done now,’ Elvis said, ‘we just need to see how the land lays and go from there.’

Addison mulled over his words for a second. She wanted to question him. What if the Colonel said no? What if he wanted Elvis to end it? The problem was she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer. So she didn’t say anything. Instead she nodded which earned a smile from him as he stood up.

‘Right. Uh, I found that dress in the back of my closet…’ Elvis said his gaze flitting to the dress beside her on the bed a slight red tinge on his cheeks as he realised it was the dress she had been wearing the first time they’d slept together in his room. After the first time, Elvis was unsure. He’d give in and though he’d revelled in the benefits he was apprehensive to make another move. His resolve had lasted less than a day. All it had taken for him to give in was seeing her in that dress. His mind had gone blank and he had been a little too enthusiastic which meant that the dress had ended up screwed up in his closet, now sporting a slight tear and a couple of missing buttons.

‘Thanks,’ Addison said obliviously though as Elvis moved to start dressing and she noticed what she was now holding that familiar blush crept onto her own cheeks. Whilst it wasn’t the best outfit she couldn’t complain. After all, she didn’t have much of a choice. It was either a slightly imperfect dress or going downstairs and facing the Colonel in her night gown which didn’t seem appealing in the slightest. In fact, going downstairs at all didn’t seem very appealing but she knew there was no way of getting out of it. So, she allowed Elvis to take her hand and lead her downstairs.

The Colonel was in the living room, his arm resting on the mantlepiece though the fireplace he was looking at was unlit. He turned as he heard them enter the room which made Addison shrink back behind Elvis just a tad as she clocked that his angry face hadn’t soothed any since he had come downstairs. She gripped Elvis’ hand tighter and he squoze back though it didn’t remove that uneasy feeling from her gut.

‘Ah, nice to see the pair of you could tear yourselves away from one another for a moment.’ ‘Look, Colonel,’ Elvis said irately. ‘What my boy? Would you like me to give you more time to lie to me? ‘I didn’t lie to you,’ Elvis protested. ‘You told me there was nothing going on with the pair of you. Twice in fact!’ he laughed moving away from the mantel towards Elvis until the pair were squared up. He looked the younger man up and down before he said with a sneer, ‘how is that not lying?’ ‘I tried,’ Elvis said. The Colonel scoffed and walked away, Elvis following him though not getting too close, ‘when I told you I’d stay away from her-’ ‘You promised you’d stay away from me?’ Addison asked quietly making him turn around. ‘N-n-not promised,’ Elvis stammered. ‘Oh so it’s not just me you’re happy to lie to,’ the Colonel said. ‘I’m not lying dammit!’ he shouted. As the Colonel rolled his eyes he moved back towards Addison placing a hand on her shoulder, ‘I didn’t promise I’d stay away from you Addie. I just…I told him there was nothing going on and at the time,’ he said throwing the Colonel a dirty look, ‘there wasn’t anything going on but I knew if I didn’t pull myself away from you I wouldn’t be able to help myself.’ ‘So that’s why you pulled away? Because he asked you to?’ she asked incredulously. ‘Yeah, didn’t exactly work though did it,’ Elvis said with a wry smile. ‘Oh yes,’ the Colonel said with a roll of his eyes, ‘I’m just the villain in this love story. Not the man who has been trying to keep your image afloat for the past few months whilst you flout everything I ask of you! Keep your show clean, don’t antagonise the press but no-’

Before Elvis could retaliate their attention was pulled towards the living room door where Gladys had just appeared, Vernon following just a step behind her with a yawn.

‘What is all this hollerin’ about!?’ said Gladys as she pulled her robe tighter around herself. ‘Why don’t you ask your son?’ the Colonel sneered. Gladys looked at Elvis expectantly. ‘Mama, why don’t you and daddy go to the kitchen? I’ll be in a minute,’ Elvis said nervously as he tried to steer his mother out of the room though she remained unmoved. ‘Oh, so your own mother didn’t even get to know,’ the Colonel said, ‘that is comforting.’ ‘Boobie what’s he talking about?’ Gladys asked worriedly. ‘He’s blowing it out of proportion,’ Elvis said. ‘What?’ Gladys asked. ‘We wanted to tell you properly.’ ‘Elvis you’re not making any sense,’ she said. ‘Elvis and I are together,’ Addison blurted out making four pairs of eyes land on her. Elvis smiled appreciatively though his gaze went straight back to his mother who seemed to be trying to wrap her head around the news.

‘Well congratulations,’ Vernon said awkwardly as Gladys moved to sit down in her favourite chair, still silent. ‘You’re happy for us, right?’ Elvis said as he knelt down in front of her. Gladys took a moment to compose herself before she smiled weakly and nodded her head. ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, ‘it’s just a shock is all…how long have you two…’ ‘Not long,’ Addison said. Gladys looked at her and though it wasn’t a cold stare there was definitely something to it that made Addison shrink back. This was not the time to be intervening. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ Gladys said looking back at her son. As Addison watched she could see the fear on Gladys’ face. She hadn’t really given it a thought before. Not telling people seemed like the wise thing to do but they hadn’t factored in how Gladys might take being left in the dark. She and Elvis never kept secrets. Maybe that was why her stare had felt so off.

‘Mama we were going to tell you,’ Elvis said placing a hand on her knee. ‘What when you knock her up?’ the Colonel scoffed earning a scowl from Elvis. ‘Shut your damn mouth,’ Elvis said standing up. ‘Elvis,’ Vernon said in a warning tone. ‘No daddy,’ Elvis said before he looked back at the Colonel, ‘look I get you’re pissed at me or whatever. I didn’t listen, sure, but that don’t change the fact that I love her. More than anything. And just because it’s unwise doesn’t mean that we’re gonna be apart.’ ‘And if it costs you your career?’ the Colonel challenged. ‘If you’d rather me be rich than happy that’s on you,’ Elvis said. The pair were staring each other down but Addison wasn’t watching them. She was looking at the uneasy expressions on his parents’ faces as the gravitas of the situation dawned on them. Though he hadn’t said it outright it was enough to be concerning because she was sure he meant it. If it came down to it, if push came to shove, he’d give it up. For her. For them. And that was a terrifying thought. She could tell from the way they watched him, from the way Gladys’ eyes fell on Addison watching her with a look of betrayal.

The Colonel was the first one to break their staring contest. He hobbled towards Elvis his cane in hand until he had almost passed him but instead of walking away he stopped, watching the boy with a betrayed expression, ‘I didn’t ask that you be unhappy. Just honest.’

And with that, he walked away slamming the front door behind him as he left the building.

No one spoke. Elvis didn’t even turn around until Vernon cleared his throat capturing his attention. When he did he moved toward Addison, wrapping his arms around her as he hugged her tightly. She hugged him back though less dependently than he was holding her as if she was a mother comforting a hurt child. When they broke apart he still didn’t relinquish his touch and instead moved to put his hand on the small of her back.

‘Well, I wasn’t expecting my morning to go like that that’s for sure,’ Vernon said. ‘I don’t think any of us saw our morning going this way,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘I mean don’t you think he’s overreacting just a little?’ ‘He’ll come around,’ Vernon said, ‘he’s just been worried that’s all.’ ‘Maybe but would it kill him to be happy for us,’ Elvis said wrapping his arm around Addison who glanced at him with a weak smile. ‘Well, we are, right Lovie?’ Vernon said placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder. She smiled at her husband though it was about as reassuring as Addison’s smile had been. Neither man seemed to notice. ‘I’m glad,’ Elvis said, ‘because we really are happy right Addie?’ ‘Right,’ she nodded though she was still watching Gladys. ‘Well, we can talk about it over breakfast,’ Vernon said with another yawn, ‘all this arguing has got my stomach rumbling.’ ‘Yeah, me too,’ Elvis said as he pulled Addison along so they could follow his daddy towards the kitchen. However he stopped when he noticed his mother hadn’t moved from her spot, breaking away from Addison though he kept hold of her hand.

‘You are coming Satnin?’ Elvis asked. His mother looked up from her chair and smiled. ‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,’ she said. Elvis smiled and nodded heading out towards the kitchen with Addison in tow though the young girl took one last glance behind her at the woman now sitting alone in the living room. Even though she offered Addison a smile there was something behind her eyes that made her nervous. She knew Gladys liked her, that she enjoyed having her around, but at that moment she couldn’t help but feel as though she had overstepped. That whilst she could live in her house and be a friend of the family to have a relationship with Elvis was an error.

And she knew it wasn’t to do with the money. She knew that they could live in a matchbox and Gladys would be happy. No, this was more than that. The way Elvis had gone to bat for her, uttered what he was willing to lose, had just been the start. Both women knew it.

If he was willing to give up everything. If he was willing to lie to his mother.

What would he choose if it came down to it? Or more to the point. Who?

[lilac-gold]

Day 6- Omori AU Whumptober 2023

AI-less Whumptober Day 10- ALT Bullied @ailesswhumptober

Fandom: OMORI Rating: Teen Word Count: 2324 Summary: Sweetheart is the goddess of love, and has been searching for a suitor for decades. When Sweetheart remains wholly unimpressed with a certain group of sisters' attempts to make her one, they decide to punish her for her rudeness. AO3 LINK

Rococo had never been well-liked, not even when he was small. He was too flashy, too dramatic, too extravagant, too much. Adults didn’t like him, finding his lopsided, gap-toothed grins and paint-splattered overalls far less endearing than Sweetheart’s perfect smiles and pristine pink dresses. Everyone loved Sweetheart, everyone disliked Rococo. That was the way things were, and always had been.

Rococo was considered ‘odd’ by most, merely the flair in his gestures enough to cause disgruntled expressions around him. He was partial to using long, sophisticated words he’d found whilst reading old novellas, and implementing random French phrases into his everyday vocabulary. Learning came easily to him, but Rococo held no interest in most of it, his passion lying in art. So, he would doodle during lessons and watch as his teachers considered him a lost cause, then critique his art teacher’s latest piece and get himself landed in detention for a month.

Closeby High was renowned for the general unfriendliness amongst its students and staff. Not a single person smiled or waved hello in the corridors, the uniform was bland and grey, and every issue Rococo brought up was quickly swept under the run. Closeby cared not for its students, and especially not for Rococo.

He spent his days alone, often hiding out in the art rooms at every break or recess he was provided. So wrapped up in further mastering his passion, he tended to forget to eat, and half of the student populous (the half that didn't hate him) had no idea who he was. Sweetheart scolded him for secluding himself so much, but it wasn't deliberate! Rococo was a social person, really, he was. It was just… There was nobody at Closeby he really deemed worthy of socialising with. He had standards, after all.

Of course, he was left without a choice most of the time. Each of his classes was made up of at least thirty pupils, and plenty of their work required team participation and collaboration. Rococo shuddered at the very thought. While he was exceedingly talented, his peers were not, and he despised having his work sullied by the careless disturbances of those he was forced to associate with. Teenagers were loud and uncouth, lackadaisical and uncouth, and Rococo looked forward to the day he could leave them all behind for good.

For now, he dealt with it. He ignored the jeers at his flashy clothes and the dyed teal tips of his hair, the inappropriate comments about his earrings and his stature, the belittling that came with his unfortunately low social standing. Rococo yearned for approval, but he recognised that those around him were far inferior– both skill and development wise. So, he let the words flow off of him, ignoring everything with sophisticated apathy and distinguished grace, reminding himself this was temporary, they would mature and leave him be eventually.

It was when the harassment started to get physical that Rococo had a problem. It was hardly awful, just little shoves and barges in the hallways that knocked him into walls, short kicks to the back of his legs because they liked seeing him stumble. It was nothing, really. He dealt with it. He was fine. There was nothing the teachers would do anyway.

Rococo brushed each injury aside as though it were merely a bug, dismissive even as something slowly began sinking in his stomach. He bruised easily. He was clumsy. He got into fights with Sweetheart. He was fine.

This wasn’t bullying, no matter what Sweetheart had to say about it.

She’d seen the bruises painted across his skin one day after a particularly hard sequence of shoves. It wasn’t a pretty picture, and Rococo had frozen when she barged loudly into his room, complaining about something or the other as she (like always) ignored any privacy he might have wanted. He loved his sister, but she really was self-centred.

“So then I told him–” Sweetheart cut herself off, eyes narrowing as her gaze flickered to Rococo’s shirt, which he had hastily tugged down after the interruption in his examination. “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing,” Rococo said simply, because it wasn’t. Really. She didn’t need to make a big deal out of it.

“Whatever that is, it’s certainly not nothing,” she told him, a mixture of curiosity, indignation and wariness in her voice as she approached him. “Let me see.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. One way or another, Sweetheart always got what she wanted. Rococo sighed, tentatively lifting his shirt a little again. Sweetheart shoved it up further, inhaling sharply, and Rococo winced.

Sweetheart stared deeply into his face, murder written all over it. “What. Happened.”

For all she fought with him, Sweetheart was awfully possessive. Someone had been hurting him without her knowledge, and now, she was furious. It wasn’t protectiveness, not in its entirety, but it was close. If he were anyone else, Sweetheart wouldn’t have cared in the slightest. But they’d been together since they were tiny, and might as well have been born siblings. She and Donut Grandma were all he had.

“It’s just a few bruises,” Rococo said weakly. “It’s not importa–”

“Was it that boy?” Sweetheart folded her arms, unrelenting. “The really big one with the overalls?”

It didn’t take long for Rococo to figure out who Sweetheart was talking about. Boss, the ringleader of a little group who pestered him most. He was tall and muscled, with a wide stature and informal manner of speaking. He was a far cry from Rococo’s own stick-like arms and slim figure, towering over him effortlessly with a leer.

Sweetheart cleared her throat expectantly, and Rococo realised he’d zoned out, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Sweetheart frowned at him impatiently. “Surely there is only one–” She cut herself off, blinking slowly. “You mean to tell me… That he is not the only instigator?”

“Instigator?” Rococo echoed, alarmed. “Sweetheart, it’s fine, you don’t have to–”

“It is bullying, and I will not allow my little brother to be bullied,” Sweetheart tossed her hair haughtily. “I expected better from you! It is shameful to allow yourself to be pushed around like this!”

As much as he tried to stop it, cold guilt pooled in the pit of his stomach. It was silly. There was nothing to be guilty about. “They’re just a little careless. It’s okay, Sweetheart. I am quite durable!”

She begrudgingly accepted that, still scowling. “The next time one of them comes near you, flick paint at them. It’s an awful ordeal trying to get your stupid art supplies out of clothes.”

Rococo agreed with a smile, noticing the masked worry in Sweetheart’s calculating gaze. She was smart, as little as she tended to show it, and very good with people. If he asked, she’d sort them out immediately. But Rococo was not weak, and he would deal with far worse critiques if he were to enter the art industry! So he stayed at Closeby and pretended the insults didn’t sting, keeping his head held high even as everyone else’s stayed far above him. Rococo loathed his height. He ought to be tall, statuesque, a true being of grandeur!

“Hey, it’s Rococo,” a voice sniggered behind him, and Rococo let out a long, drawn-out breath. “Got a girlfriend yet?”

Rococo gritted his teeth, trying to keep on walking. He needn’t pay them any heed. And yet, one of his bad straps was grabbed onto, hauling him a little back until he slammed painfully against a locker. Rococo hissed as its sharp handle dug into his back, glaring resolutely up at Boss. Stupid high school stereotypes, he seethed. Boss had clearly watched too many Whizzney Channel movies as a kid.

“I demand that you leave me alone!” He commanded firmly, channelling his inner Sweetheart. To his dismay, his attackers just laughed, treating his defiance like a joke. Rococo’s face burned.

“That’d be a no then,” Boss commented smugly. “It’s not exactly hard to see why though, if you know what I’m saying.”

He guffawed, high-fiving the boy beside him like an idiot. Rococo rolled his eyes, sourly looking over the students and staff passing by indifferently. He hated this school.

“Leave me alone, or I shall alert my sister,” Rococo threatened grandly. Sweetheart was a force to be reckoned with!

…Unfortunately for him, though, Sweetheart didn’t go to Closeby. And that meant Boss and his lackeys had no idea who she was.

“Ooh, will you?” Boss grinned. “You think she can take all of us on?”

“Uh, Boss? I don’t fight girls,” one of them piped up behind him, and Boss glared at the teen who’d spoken.

“Well, I do,” Boss said simply, crossing his arms tightly. “It’s pathetic,” he sneered, turning to Rococo once again. “Can’t stand up for yourself, huh? That checks out.”

Rococo bristled at that, discreetly fishing around in his bag for something he could use against them. He eventually settled on his water bottle, sliding it out quickly and unscrewing the lid. Boss was still rambling on about something, shoving him further against the lockers when he noticed Rococo was trying to move, but to was too late. In a quick, jerky movement, Rococo splashed water all over Boss’s clothes.

It was colourful. Huh. Rococo must have forgotten to replace it after he used his bottle as a replacement for the contained they had to share in his art lessons. Eurgh. He was going to have drunk that later.

Boss recoiled at the sudden cold, unwittingly releasing him, and Rococo darted away, bottle discarded on the floor. Sweetheart congratulated him that night, saying he’d done well. Rococo had smiled. He’d believed he’d fixed the problem.

Really, it just made everything worse. Because now it was personal, now Boss really hated him, and Rococo had a feeling the boy didn’t know the limits of his own strength sometimes. The shoves grew harsher, the kicks more forceful, the yanks on his hair eliciting painful yelps he couldn’t control. His skin was a canvas of ugly yellows and greens. Rococo hated it, secluding himself more and more. Only, whenever they found him, it meant there were no risks, because Rococo had taken himself away from any witnesses.

Things came to a head one day when Boss cornered him after school. He was supposed to walk home, Closeby not too far. Only, that day, Boss stuck around waiting for him, and Rococo didn’t have anywhere to hide. That sneer met him once again, and he resigned himself to what was to come.

Boss grabbed him by the wrist, hauling him forwards to spit some sort of insult in his face. Rococo was numb to it all by that point, not responding and not listening. He didn’t care. He was fine. This was–”

“Hey!” Boss yelled, grip tightening, and Rococo let out a strangled gasp as pain shot up his arm. His wrist throbbed, liquid fire coursing around it and gathering in a specific spot. Weakly, Rococo tried to pry Boss off of him, his tugs useless in comparison to Boss’s strength.

Boss simply scoffed at him, unrelenting until he noticed the tears gathering in Rococo’s eyes. Rococo was an easy crier, but he never let his tears fall at school, and especially not in front of Boss. Hesitantly, Boss let go, eyes wide, wary and weirdly worried, and Rococo clutched the wrist to his chest defensively, cradling it. 

“You’re fine,” Boss said dismissively, but he didn’t look certain, and Rococo didn’t feel fine. 

He backed away, still too choked with pain to form words, eyebrows knitted together as he fruitlessly tried to hold things together. It hurt.

“Wait– you’re not–” Boss continued, suddenly looking stricken, and that was all the cue Rococo needed to flee. With trembling fingers, he pressed Sweetheart’s contact, feeling his wrist throb and ache distressingly. It didn’t look broken, but panic surged through him all the same, and his voice shook when he answered Sweetheart’s snippy ‘Rococo?!’.

He explained what had happened. She was furious. He winced again, recoiling from the phone. He didn’t know why he was being so sensitive. This was fine.

He wanted to go home.

At Sweetheart’s insistence and Rococo’s half-hearted protests, his grandma took him to the hospital. His wrist was sprained. Rococo was lucky it wasn’t worse.

He wasn’t to go back to Closeby High again, after that. He was signed up for Faraway instead, where Sweetheart went. They weren’t supposed to have room, but Sweetheart could be very pushy when she wanted to be, and awfully convincing. He was accepted, and Rococo couldn’t hide his relief. Over time, the remarks and the comments and the pushes had built up until, without even realising it, Rococo was carrying a huge, indescribable weight. Sweetheart had hauled it off of his shoulders effortlessly, and Rococo really got the feeling he should have gone to her sooner.

Irritatingly enough, it was his dominant hand that was injured. Rococo itched to hold a paintbrush, a pencil, even a biro, but he wasn’t permitted to draw until it was healed. The weeks it took to recover seemed to last forever. After it had healed, Sweetheart initially took to grabbing him by it and dragging him around. Then, she noticed how he flinched every time she touched it, and stopped. Rococo felt a little bad, it was supposed to be all better. Sometimes, he just… Forgot it wasn’t injured anymore.

Boss tried to speak to him again on his walk to Faraway. Rococo ignored him. He’d had months to apologise for treating him how he did if that was what he wanted to do, and Rococo really wasn’t in the mood for more bullying if it wasn’t. Because that was what it had been. Bullying.

But as he stepped through the gates, into a whole new community, Rococo got the feeling that from there, everything was beginning to look up.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[radkindoffeminist]

It annoys me so much that people will refuse to see how sometimes stuff feeds into a wider rhetoric and annoys me even further that when you question if something feeds into wider rhetoric that you’re dismissed as being like someone who believes in a crazy conspiracy or just told that not everything has to being about whatever issue. It’s just one show or film or plot or joke or comment and therefore is relatively harmless, right?

Like that post I shared the other day which said that asking a GNC person if they’re trans is just a question and not forcing them to be trans. But they don’t realise that they’re one person feeding into the wider rhetoric that GNC women are men and vice versa. When does it stop becoming people innocently asking one person a question (and btw a question GNC people have probably asked themselves before) and start becoming social pressure?

When I first started to think I was bisexual, I identified at so in the online spaces I was in. Multiple people questioned how I could possibly know I was bisexual if I had never even kissed before and thought that it was weird that I ‘just knew’ based on how I felt. I didn’t think so much about it when the first person asked me but by the tenth or so it had me seriously questioning myself and I ended up going back in the closet for another five years. You could argue that anyone who asked was just curious and asking a genuine question, but every person who asked made me question myself more. Every time that was their reaction to me saying I was bi, it pushed me back in the closest. When you ask gay and bi people how they ‘just know if they haven’t tried’ or ask GNC people if they’ve considered if they’re trans, you’re assuming they haven’t asked themselves that and that no one else has ever asked them that question before. Why would you assume that? Why ever ask a question that, more than likely, is just adding to the social pressure that they face?

What about a film like Licorice Pizza? It tells the story of a teenage boy falling in love with a 20-something woman and pursuing her until they eventually fall for each other. My friend thought it was a sweet romcom showing how people with age gaps can bond over shared interest. For me personally and as someone who dated a 21 year old when I was 15? I can’t see it as anything more than a film feeding into the rhetoric that paedophilia isn’t that bad when it’s the younger person pursuing the older person because it’s really only the grooming and lying which is the problem and not like the inherent power imbalances caused by teens not having as much life experiences, being at different developmental stages, and the financial differences. It took me so long to start dealing with the fact that I was traumatised and abused because in my first relationship and other ‘friendships’ I had, I had pursued them so I felt like it was my responsibility and that I did that to myself, but I know that the adults I was talking to should have known better than to keep talking to a fucking child and cut me off. Teenagers will always pursue adults, but adults have the responsibility to turn around and say no. We shouldn’t be blaming paedophilia on teens (especially teen girls) being to mature and irresistible for men to say no to.

And a final example: the way abortion is portrayed in the media, particularly medical dramas. I am convinced that this is why so many women see abortion as something which is only for the most desperate women and hence why so many refuse to seriously consider it as an option/automatically dismiss it. In every medical drama I’ve watched abortions are only seen as being for women who were raped, abused, or in a particularly poor (financial) situation, with only a small handful of exceptions to this rule. Women turn their noses up at the idea of having abortions, even when they are suffering from it or the baby won’t survive. Like Grey’s has four separate stories (one from the spin off) I can recall off the top of my head about women who were medically advised to have an abortion but refused because they would rather have the baby -two of these were because the baby wasn’t going to survive more than a few minutes; two because the women had cancer and couldn’t receive treatment while pregnant so accepted dying for the baby. Look at the wider media and what sort of stories about abortion access do you see post Roe vs Wade being overturned? I believe most the ones I’ve heard about are teenagers and/or rape victims.

Sometimes, something is just a joke or comment or whatever. But often when we say it’s feeding into wider rhetoric, we mean it. It’s never just one person or show or film company saying and doing these things, it’s many. They’re not all innocent and ignorant and we’re allowed to call out patterns when we see it. We’re not crazy conspirators for recognising that misogyny and homophobia and paedophilia exist in media, even if subtly.

[masterthespianduchovny]

The counter argument to people being against Sam/Rebecca for legitimate reasons are claims that Sam is being “infantilized.”

These age gap conversations in general are difficult to have because one side won’t acknowledge that just because two people are adults doesn’t mean they are in the same place emotionally and mentally. And this is a very important thing to note.

Someone being 18, a legal adult in America (I think you can date adults at 16 in the UK), doesn’t mean they are able to date a significantly older person, say 38, without a problem. Because, more times than not, which is an understatement, there’s a lot of fucking problems in an age gap relationship even if the older person isn’t dating the younger for nefarious reasons.

It is not infantilizing Sam or any young adult to say, “hey, this relationship may be detrimental to them because of their age.” That is just…facts.

Many people on tumblr and other SM sites often talk about how they still feel like kids at 22 and are still figuring life at, despite having jobs, kids, and shit. Despite being in full blown relationships, these young adults don’t feel like adults and that’s because you aren’t magically mature just because you’ve reached an arbitrary age to be declared a legal adult.

You just aren’t.

And being mature in one aspect of your life or regarding emotional development doesn’t mean you’re mature in other aspects. At 17, I was mature enough to understand this.

Because maturity isn’t just something you obtain like your degree or license, it’s an ongoing, ever evolving thing.

It’s life experience. As in how you learn and grow from it.

Acknowledging that someone doesn’t have significant life experience isn’t infantilizing them, it’s giving an important perspective to a crowd of who is essentially arguing “age ain’t nothing, but a number.”

If you’re all for an 18 year old dating a 38 year old, why not a 16 year old and a 36 year. It’s only a two year difference, right? And what if that 16 year old is really mature? Most would have an issue with that. People are justifying a significantly older person dating a younger person due to legality and not they are actually mature and on the same level. But there’s not much difference between a 16 and 18 year old or an 18 year old and a 20 year old. But guess what, there is a significant difference between people between the ages of 18-22 dating people a decade or more.

I literally just turned 30 last week and, even when I was 25, after a while I could tell when I was speaking to a teen or someone in their early 20s. Because, whether or not you get along with them, there are just some things that, because they haven’t had enough life experience, they don’t have the nuance or perspective to engage with you a certain way and this is even on a non romantic level.

And, in some cases, the younger person is more “mature” not because they’re actually that mature, but because the older person is that immature.

So before I get into the issues with Sam and Rebecca, let me give you four examples of age gaps relationships:

1. A friend of mine dating an older man when she was 23 and he was 38. She was a manager at a gym and he was a gym member. They would have sex and hang out, but she wanted commitment. Whenever she asked him about it, he’d get weird on her. After finally breaking it off months later, he “loved” her and finally wanted commitment, but she’d moved on. While she dated him, I told her my two cents on the situation and left it alone. Last month, she recalled this conversation as she groaned in displeasure hearing about an age gap relationship. She’s now skeptical of older people dating significantly younger people.

2. A friend of mine was 18 dating a 28 year old. We all worked at a pizzeria. He watched her on the cameras from the back when he became a manager—got mad if she talked to male coworkers. Used to gaslight her, controlled her via manipulation, and other gross toxic shit. After emotionally tormenting her for a year or so and pressuring her to live with him, which her parents allowed due to some issues they didn’t want to exacerbate, he cheated on her. They’re broken up now. She was always stressed out while with him.

3. A girl got into her first and only relationship when she was 19 with a man who was 32. They’re now married 23 and 36. She wants to wait to have kids and on her birthday he gifted her baby clothes. Make of that what you will.

4. A girl, 22, dated her 37 year old professor. At 28, she feels like she’s outgrown him and is disturbed about how and when they got together. And one night she heard him advise his friends to date younger girls so they can mold them. Yeah…

Sure you have marriages that have age gaps that lasted, but even then, very few of those are actually healthy. The younger person is usually taking orders from the older partner, can’t do certain things, doesn’t have any true agency, skills to survive on their own, etc. What typically happens is after that person becomes older, they begin to question their relationship because what seemed okay when they were younger, is unsettling after becoming older.

Like I said, take out the nefarious shit, and there is still a significant life experience gulf between Sam and Rebecca and that is one of the many issues with this pairing. Despite what some romantics and media loves to say, “love does not conquer all.” Most of the marriages that end in divorce isn’t because they couple fell out of love, it’s due to finances. Love couldn’t conquer that. Some marriages end because one of them changed or they could’ve overcome their vast differences.

I’m not saying Sam and Rebecca are on a path for marriage or are even in love, they aren’t, however, they idea that just because they get along and have some things in common means it would be a great relationship is very shortsighted. There isn’t even enough significant interaction to prove this. Getting along on an app isn’t the same as connecting face to face. And none of this can overcome Rebecca’s life experience and, relatively speaking, Sam’s lack thereof.

And I’d argue that, on average, athletes tend to be immature because they live in such a bubble where people constantly kiss their ass. Which makes Sam look more mature than he probably is.

Even then, being with an older person ages you. This younger person misses out on so much, many of which they regret, because they’re trying to be mature enough for their older partner. They don’t want to seen as immature for doing young shit when that’s exactly their age range.

But let’s get into the real consequences for Sam here:

1. Sam has to keep his relationship a secret. The media will tear him up about dating/fucking the owner of the team. And so will fans. People love to mention he’s being infantilized because he’s young and black, how do you think that is going to go if anyone finds out about them? Racism, baby. He won’t suffer from sexism, however, they will question his place on the team and if he deserves to be there. This will taint him and even cause issues with his parents. So secret relationship it is.

2. If his teammates found out, this will fracture his relationship with them. Whether or not it’s true, Sam will be blamed for shit outside of his control. They’ll think he only got more playing time, more pay, or whatever because he’s fucking Rebecca. OR they’ll try to ask him for favors and get upset if he won’t do it. His team will think he’s getting favoritism and believe there is a power imbalance between them and Sam as a result. Don’t believe me, Google dynamics once students realize a classmate is dating their teacher or an employee is dating their boss. It usually doesn’t go over so well.

So even if the relationship is loving and healthy, Sam will suffer from being with Rebecca. Because if it's a secret, it’s going to bother him eventually that they have to sneak around and the anxiety of being caught. If it’s out in the open, he will suffer harassment, alienation, his play will suffer because his teammates probably won’t pass to him, etc.

Which leads to, 3: transferring teams. But how is that fair? Sam is developing well under ted and now that may delay his development and stock just so he can be with Rebecca? We want this young, black man to succeed, but his career will be kneecapped due to his relationship. Sam is serious about football and this would be a major blow to him.

Like I said, take out nefarious shit and this relationship is still detrimental to Sam. And even with a healthy relationship, there will still be a disconnect that will lead to their relationship ending because they are in two vastly different places in their lives.

That is not infantilizing Sam, that’s reality.

And, again, that power imbalance is massive. We saw how easy it was for Rebecca to send Jamie back to Man City. She has so much power, control, and influence over Sam’s career and livelihood. She can dictate how much or how little they offer to pay him during contract negotiations.

And this is the ship people are getting upset at others rightfully taking issue with?

It doesn’t even make sense for Rebecca to go along with this either. She played a part in Keeley breaking up with Jamie, which age, Jamie being younger, played a key part in it. She’s even disgusted by Rupert dating a significantly younger woman. I doubt her opinion centered on maturity. She’s not going to suddenly support this relationship if she found out that Bex is super mature.

Rebecca would stand to lose a lot of she were to get involved with Sam and others found out. She’d get dragged through the mud worse than she did after her divorce. She’s lose them support of her staff. And it would fuck up the relationship she has with her players.

Now some Sam/Rebecca supporters have called bullshit on people who are against this relationship, yet support Ted and Rebecca. They claim it’s the same power imbalance or that one exists.

1. It’s not the same power imbalance.

2. Yes, one does exist, but it’s not nearly as wide as it is with Sam and it wouldn’t destroy her either.

Ted has the authority to hire and fire people. He has the authority to facilitate trades, call up people, and send them down. He has a lot of influence that Sam does not. They aren’t equals, but there also isn’t a massive power disparity either.

Rebecca also can’t completely fuck over Ted like she can Sam if she went all scorned woman. Because, doing so, would entail her own demise. Even if you don’t include that, Ted is only attached to Richmond. He doesn’t care about having a career as a football coach in the ways coaches from non US countries do. He can go back and have a career as an American football coach and still be massively successful. Or, if Rebecca did want to fuck him over, he has that bomb as to why he was hired. Ted doesn’t even have to play that card for it to be played by either Higgins or Keeley.

Because one of them will if they feel it’s necessary.

We have no clue what’s going to happen with this storyline. But the idea that people against Sam and Rebecca being a thing, romantically or sexually, being fueled by racism or sexism is misguided, hypocritical, and flat out wrong. If this entanglement is pursued, it stands to harm Sam from various angles and that’s MY objection.

People think this is all about Ted/Rebecca when, personally, I’d lose (some) respect for Rebecca if she got involved with Sam. That would taint her for me. Because let’s be real, many of us are grossed out by Rupert dating, marrying, and then impregnating Bex. Yet, some are okay with Rebecca and Sam getting together and those who are against it are sexist? And I truly believe the same people supporting this ship are also grossed out by Rupert’s relationship.

How is Rupert’s relationship gross, but we shouldn’t obsess over age with Rebecca and Sam? People say Sam is mature enough to date Rebecca, which implies that Bex isn’t mature enough to be with Rupert and that IS sexist.

Even if the writers confirm tomorrow that Ted/Rebecca will never be a thing, I wouldn’t object any less to Sam/Rebecca. If Sam was Roy’s age and in Roy’s position, I’d have way less of an issue.

But you’re going to have a tough time convincing me that a young man who is 20/21 and employed by a 47 year woman who can heavily influence his career isn’t a massive power imbalance that shouldn’t be explored by fans.

I’m really curious to see how this post ages once the storyline plays out. But this post is about exploring what it means for Sam and Rebecca to get involved and how the accusations of infantilizing Sam doesn’t pass the sniff test.

[differenceonlyyoucanmake]

12 Dancing Princesses Thoughts/ Headcanons/ Assorted Stuff that Came to Me in a Dream

I’m kind of tired, so this may be incomplete. I wanted to put it out there, though. My dreams have mostly been from Courtney’s perspective, not an omniscient one. Because of this, there may be some gaps.

Ashlyn:

- Deserved so much better

- It actually makes me upset. I woke up from one of my 12dp dreams in TEARS because she deserved so much better.

- After Isabella passed, Ashlyn took on the role of being a maternal presence to her sisters. She did this extremely well, but it’s also heartbreaking how she pushed herself to grow up.

- Randolph was not a capable father during the lowest periods of his grief, and Ashlyn definitely had to compensate for this.

- Randolph... could have been kinder to her, especially after the queen died. He couldn’t look Ashlyn in the eyes. She reminded him too much of his late wife.

- Isabella wanted Ashlyn to inherit her belongings and position, but Randolph had his own favorites (I promise I don’t think he was an evil person, but he could have done better).

- I think Ashlyn would identify as bisexual.

- She knew several instruments, but was most attached to the flute. Her most treasured memories involved Isabella giving her flute lessons.

- She was expected to be the mature one all the time, so she repressed a lot of her own frustrations in favor of caring for others.

- She was closest to Blair and Courtney.

- She was a little soft spoken, and one of the most “ladylike”; Ashlyn was one of the sisters who struggled least with Rowena’s lessons.

- The younger sisters had a hard time remembering that she was a person capable of all sorts of feelings. They expected parental behavior from her, and got really confused when she expressed negative emotions.

- Some of the sisters assumed Ashlyn didn’t care for sweets, because she would offer hers to the others whenever they got any. In reality, she thought this was kind behavior. She showed sacrifice in several, seemingly inconsequential, ways.

- Despite seeming so mature, she always felt as if she stopped growing up after her mother passed.

- As the sisters grew up, Ashlyn really struggled with finding her purpose. She didn’t get the power her mother promised her. She put her own ideas and prospects aside to care for her sisters. She ended up floating from kingdom to kingdom, with varying success in several different courts. She eventually came  to live with the other eldest sisters.

- Despite being (in my view) cheated out of her kingdom, Ashlyn seldom expressed frustration or resentment. She adopted the attitude of a retired noble early in life, spending a lot of time on composing music and serene hobbies.

Blair

- horse.... horses..... sleeping in the stables...... with the horses

- I’m kidding! Mostly!

- Blair was bold and opinionated. She also loved witty conversation and comedy.

- What else did she love? Horses.

- She would sneak out all the time to ride.

- Her favorite horse was black and very tall.

- She was closest to Ashlyn and Courtney.

- Blair was sick in childhood.

- Though the older sisters were known for being more refined and elegant, Blair pushed this notion plenty.

- She loved adventure.

- All of the sisters missed the golden pavilion, but Blair struggled with this a lot.

- She didn’t have as many problems with Randolph, but sometimes she would CAUSE problems on purpose (mostly defending Ashlyn and calling out his favoritism).

- She turned her own estate later in life into a close replica of the pavilion. The grounds were massive.

- She was intelligent, but struggled with many academic tasks. If she needed to read something that was challenging, she would often hand it to Courtney for help. She would only have motivation to read if it was about subjects she loved.

- This is ironic, because she later came to be a published writer. I believe these were short works, similar to pamphlets.

- Blair enjoyed throwing and attending large balls and gatherings. She was still chasing the thrill of the magical visits she’d make with her sisters.

- Blair was considered extremely beautiful, and drew admirers wherever she went. She accumulated many pieces of ruby jewelry this way.

- She also liked wearing capes and cloaks.

Courtney

- Generally shy, Courtney made an exception when she stood up for Ashlyn.

- Courtney longed to travel, and books provided her with a form of escapism until she was able to.

- She had a health scare after the events of the movie, and this somehow tarnished her standing in society??

- She wasn’t straight, probably a lesbian.

- She was well read on political matters and the history of their kingdom, and would often be the first one to noticed Randolph’s incompetence in certain areas.

- She was a young teen when she first started rewriting her father’s treaties in her spare time. She learned after the first time not to bring her drafts to him.

- When Ashlyn and Blair left home, she grew closer with Fallon. Both had a streak of wanderlust, and gravitated towards the romantic.

- Courtney published poetry under a pseudonym starting at a young age. This probably helped her somewhat. As she grew up, her poems grew in notoriety, and many debated who their true writer was. A significant portion focused on love between women and feeling trapped.

- I think she had been to Apollonia (Antonio’s kingdom in Island Princess) several times, and knew both Luciana and Antonio from an early age. I think this was the case for many of the older sisters.

- After their mother died, the girls traveled less, and met less new people. Courtney was bothered by this.

- She was generally thought of as calm and quiet, but she felt emotions deeply ( even if she didn’t always express them).

Delia

- Athletic and spunky

- Delia enjoyed more structured sports.

- She was prone to sunburns.

- Delia was enamored with the sun and light. She would hang prisms next to her windows to watch the light refract.

- She was closest with her twin, Edeline. They enjoyed playing croquet together and (though it was usually harmless) gossiping.

- Delia had a temper. She would deal with guilt afterwards if she lashed out at someone.

- Her emotional regulation issues came to light after her mother died.

- Delia dealt with a lot of guilt in general. She didn’t feel as put-together as her older sisters, or as carefree as the younger ones. She felt guilty for not fitting in, and expressed feeling like an inconvenience to those around her.

- Outsiders thought she was dim-witted, and she internalized this.

- Delia often had a problem of interrupting people or speaking loudly, so it was advised that she stay quiet when visitors came. This really hurt her self esteem, since she was always happy to make new friends.

- Rowena had offended her when she was a young girl, and Delia never forgot this.

- Delia liked birds, and hummingbirds fascinated her.

- She had to learn to accept herself later in life. 

- She discovered people who appreciated her for who she was, and finally left her inhibitions behind. 

- After that, she became known for her charisma and charm.

Edeline:

- Edeline shared a lot of interests with her twin, such as sports and outdoor activities.

- She enjoyed making others laugh.

- Once Genevieve married Derek, Edeline took it as her cue to BULLY that poor man.

- Seriously, it probably warded off suitors for her other sisters.

- It was usually in good fun, though.

- Edeline disliked rules and structure.

- She was closest with Delia.

- She often stood up for her twin.

- Edeline had a good ear for gossip, and had her own methods of fact checking stories she’d heard.

- Something happened with her at Genevieve’s wedding?? Maybe she broke something??

- Edeline traveled some, but found her way back home eventually.

- She DESPISED Rowena. None of the sisters liked her, but Edeline couldn’t stand her from the beginning.

- Edeline would have loved to know about the concept of roast humor.

- She liked to have sleepover-like setups in their bedroom. She would build forts and encourage the others to come tell ghost stories. When the memories of her mother came to her, she felt the need to DO something, even if the action wasn’t necessarily related.

- She became known for her humor.

Fallon

- Fallon was pretty much independent, until she and Courtney bonded.

- Fallon always wanted pets, and was jealous that only Genevieve was allowed to have one (besides....bugs and the horses, who were kept outside).

- She would try to befriend wild animals, and nursed some injured animals back to health.

- I don’t think Fallon was straight.

- Fallon was sensitive, and had a hard time dealing with Rowena’s harsh treatment.

- Fallon had nightmares, and would often go to her older sisters for comfort.

- She enjoyed the company of others. She would spend time with servants and other people considered to be below her station.

- Fallon played the harp.

- She loved the softer aspects of life. 

- She devoted time to charitable causes.

- I just know that she did that classic princess trope of posing as a commoner. That’s such a her thing to do.

- She gained a reputation for being eccentrically kind. She had a large family of animals, who she took EXCELLENT care of.

Genevieve

- You may have noticed that the older sisters were generally closer with each other. Well, Genevieve wasn’t, and she made it that way.

- She.... liked to act like she was in charge. She often undermined Ashlyn’s efforts.

- She was Randolph’s favorite.

- Genevieve got along better with the younger sisters, especially Lacey.

- She probably did have leadership skills, but a lot of them came from acting like she did.

- Like I’ve implied above, she got a lot of power after she married, instead of Ashlyn.

- Derek wasn’t a bad person, but he was a COBBLER. How did she get more political power by marrying a COBBLER?

- She butted heads with Blair and Courtney quite often after the events of the movie.

- Basically, she had Main Character Disease dsfghjk

- She traveled less than the other older sisters.

- Admittedly, she wasn’t a poor leader.

- I have a feeling she adopted a lot of children later in life.

- She and Derek had a pretty long transitional period after they married, meaning they spent more time really figuring out who they were as a couple rather than jumping into their duties right away.

- Genevieve kind of symbolized the cutoff for the sisters who had lots of solid memories about their mother and those who didn’t.

- She was one of the best dancers out of the sisters.

- She was brave and self-assured.

- She knew what she wanted, and she would get it.

- After Twyla, she got some other cats. They were mostly orange and/or long haired.

- She never quite shook her habit of being late.

Hadley

- Hadley was closest to their twin, Isla.

- As Hadley grew up, they became more comfortable being gender nonconforming. They may have been trans, but I don’t remember.

- Hadley enjoyed fencing.

- Stilts were Hadley’s first love, and led to appreciation for other daring activities.

- Hadley also loved the ocean. Many of their adventures involved being at sea. They spent years sailing longside their twin on a ship Genevieve gifted them.

- Rumors swirled that they were a pirate. Though these weren’t true, Hadley didn’t mind.

- Hadley was energetic and intuitive.

- Hadley was an athletic risk-taker. They enjoyed acrobatics and other feats of the human body.

- Hadley became known for their adventurous exploits and fencing prowess.

- Though Hadley initially idolized Genevieve, she eventually sided with Ashlyn and the other older sisters once she learned the whole story.

- Hadley stayed with the older sisters after whatever scary thing happened with Courtney.

- Hadley mentored people, and may have been a teacher.

- She really missed the times when all of their sisters got along.

- There were rumors that Hadley was affiliated with darker forces, when in reality Hadley was one of the most well-adjusted.

Isla

- Isla was closest to Hadley.

- Isla liked adventure, but she was less daring than Hadley.

- Isla stayed our of most business involving the older sisters, preferring to spend time with her twin.

- She loved swimming.

- Isla had a collection of maps.

- She was known for being easy going. 

- She sometimes had to bring Hadley down from an idea that seemed too dangerous.

- Isla was the voice of reason in some situations.

- She never lost her passion for dance, and learned new styles through their travels.

- Isla had pet birds.

- She was admired for her grace and acrobatic talent.

- Isla enjoyed circus-like acts.

- She was more bothered by the pirate rumors than Hadley.

- Isla enjoyed researching magic, and trying to find a way back to the magic pavilion. 

- Isla was non-confrontational.

- She tried many forms of artistic expression, from writing to painting.

- Isla was loyal to Hadley, and would be there for her twin no matter what.

Janessa

- Janessa maintained her love of insects.

- Since they were so young when it happened, none of the triplets remember details of the magic pavilion. If their sisters weren’t there to confirm their memories, they would have thought it was a dream.

- Janessa grew up to be very interested in science.

- Janessa found the proper way to care for insects, and took pride in how well she did it.

- She was prone to worrying.

- She often lamented the fact that she was so young when they visited the pavilion.

- Janessa was considered obedient and passive.

- Janessa heard how much she looked like her mother (though not as much as Ashlyn). She had mixed feelings about this, because she couldn’t really remember what her mother looked like.

- Janessa was closest to Kathleen.

- She became close with Edeline and Delia when she got older.

- Janessa knew she wasn’t Randolph’s favorite, and took this personally. She tried, especially in her youth, to gain his approval.

- She also knew that Genevieve preferred Lacey, even though all the triplets looked up to Genevieve.

- Janessa balanced her love for science with her royal duties, and used what power she had to provide exposure and resources to research institutes.

Kathleen

- Kathleen was creative and unconventional.

- She was closest with Janessa, and became close with Isla later in life.

- Kathleen was known for her paintings.

- She started out painting things like landscapes, then moved into less traditional subjects.

- Her royal portraits were renowned in particular. They captured royalty doing activities that were important to them, or in significant fantasy settings.

- She painted portraits of her siblings and father. These became their favorites. She captured: a relaxed Ashlyn writing music, Blair on horseback in mid-air, Courtney in her library, Delia in the sunlight, Edeline in a fantastical outdoor scene, Fallon with her animals, Genevieve dancing, Hadley fencing, Isla swimming, Janessa surrounded by flying insects in the sky, and Lacey at work.

- Though she tried many times, Kathleen was not satisfied with her attempts of painting her mother. She felt like she was simply copying pre-existing portraits.

- The only painting of her mother she was somewhat pleased with was one of Queen Isabella walking away, her back to the viewer as she walked into a golden pavilion.

- Kathleen tried to paint the magic pavilion, and these painting had a fuzzy, dream-like quality.

- Her art gained a significant following.

Lacey

- She was Randolph’s second favorite.

-Lacey was unshakably loyal to Genevieve. She didn’t understand why the older sisters were upset about her being given power and land.

- Lacey struggled with illness as a child. She was inspired by the healing water at the pavilion to study medicine.

- Lacey struggled with muscle strength and coordination well into adulthood.

- Despite this, she continued dancing.

- She looked very similar to Randolph’s relatives.

- She felt the need to defend Genevieve, and would often challenge her older sisters because of this.

- Although Ashlyn never challenged her, Lacey harbored resentment towards her. She blamed Ashlyn for the fact that Genevieve’s approval wasn’t universal.

- Lacey was interested in scientifically based medicine, as well as magical remedies.

- Lacey was always closest with Genevieve, and lived with her for a long time.

- Lacey idolized Genevieve and Derek’s relationship, often heralding it as the pinnacle of romance.

- She searched for a way back to the magical world, believing it contained the key to eternal youth and immortality.

- Lacey didn’t care for travel as much as some of her sisters, but she usually enjoyed when she did leave her own kingdom.

- She grew up to be Genevieve’s closest adviser, and an accomplished healer.

Canon Noncompliant Things

- The sisters left the pavilion by dancing in birth order. Although Derek did leave by dancing with Genevieve, they weren’t responsible for leaving in the first place. Once again, Ashlyn doesn’t get the credit she deserves dfghjk

- Genevieve had an actual wedding, not whatever that was that was shown at the end of the movie. It was smaller than a lot of royal weddings (because Derek didn’t have many connections or people to invite), but it was a serious affair. 

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 2)

And we're back with more exciting and mean Natsume! Here we will further explore Natsume's life and how absolutely dark his existence is, as well as some very important aspects of his personality that will be useful to us when NatsuMikan starts picking up speed.

Again, I am warning people that this whole essay in general talks heavily about topics like bullying, child abuse, suicidal ideation, and depression, so if those are triggering topics, it might be better for you to not read.

Previously, we were introduced to Natsume and he has sent Mikan on a dangerous quest to the Northern Woods. During that trip, she and her friends have captured his one and only best friend, Ruka, which will not bode well.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five is instrumental for completing Natsume’s introduction, long as it’s been. Natsume is a mysterious character, and he will continue to be evasive and strange for many chapters to come, but by the end of this chapter, we will understand some basic foundation for his character.

The chapter starts with Ruka’s point of view, recalling a moment when he saw Natsume cry, presumably after a mission. Ruka wonders why it’s only Natsume that has to go through “this”, and Natsume tells him that he can take it--for now. He says he wants to grow up and be an adult, to be big and strong enough to properly escape this hell. This is a consistent wish of Natsume’s, and in many ways his only wish: to grow up already.

Higuchi really out here trying to convince us this was supposed to be a cheerful story.

Natsume had to be an adult, had to make the selfless and responsible choices for the sake of his family and for Ruka, had to abandon play and smiles and laughter for a life of secret missions and frequent hospital trips. He’s dying and he wants to be an adult already because he’s certain he’ll never be able to grow up. He wants his body to match the level of responsibility he’s had to take on, but he can’t force the outside to match the inside, especially when he’ll probably be dead long before it happens anyway. This wish evolves and changes when he falls for Mikan, but it doesn’t go away.

He associates adulthood with control, because his life at the academy has been observing the adults control and use him. He wants control for once, to be able to make a choice and even just say no.

Ruka notes that Natsume hasn’t cried at all since that night, and that he now keeps all his sorrow locked away. This kid needs therapy, immediately. This is another reason that Ruka is so precious to Natsume. Ruka is compassionate and kind, so concerned about his friend that he would also shut away his own heart so that he can’t be happy for as long as Natsume is in agony.

Natsume has a scene of his own, where he snaps at Permy for saying that Mikan is full of crap and lying about being an alice. He points out that the academy is not an easy place to lie your way into, and Permy immediately backtracks and lies that she’s agreed with him this whole time. Like I’d said earlier about the loneliness involved in being surrounded by fans who don’t really know or understand you, having people all around you bend over backwards for your approval makes it clear that they really have no interest in what you’re saying, just that you’re the one saying it.

In the anime essay, I’d pointed out that because of their admiration for him, it would elude people that Natsume is in fact lonely. He speaks out against things and people rush to agree, not really considering why he might say that. This is a similar moment, though he doesn’t seem too bothered by Permy’s behavior. It’s still concerning, but it’s interesting to compare this “yes, man” attitude to Ruka’s.

There is obviously a difference between someone agreeing with every word of your mouth no matter how much it changes and contradicts, bending over backwards for your approval, and someone wanting to match you out of compassion, but Ruka’s line of thinking does still have some major flaws.

Ruka is a child, just like the rest of them, so even though this behavior is motivated by love and compassion, it’s still immature and raises some questions.

“If you won’t smile, I won’t smile either,” is a sweet line, but now Natsume is aware that Ruka’s misery is his fault. If he wasn’t so sad, Ruka could be happy. This doesn’t make Natsume happy; it just makes them both sad, and that doesn’t solve any problems. Naturally, Natsume would never say that, and Ruka would claim he’s unbothered and--just like Natsume--that he doesn’t care about hanging out with the others, but they’re both miserable now, and I think this is part of the reason why there’s a gap between them at the start of the manga, and why they’re a bit distant, despite being best friends.

They’re each other’s most important person, but they don’t really communicate that well, and Ruka constantly feels like a burden.

Natsume needs something that Ruka can’t give him, and that something is what he’ll eventually get from Mikan.

That being said, at the moment, Natsume is getting nothing but irritation from Mikan. When he finds out Mikan and her gang kidnapped Ruka, that irritation turns into rage and we see a final fundamental building block for Natsume’s character: his berserk button.

Natsume doesn’t care about the reasoning or justification for the kidnapping. He doesn’t care about explanations or common sense.

His rage only increases when he discovers Ruka was tied up and even beaten (he is told this by a classmate, when Ruka is actually unharmed). The other kids in Class B--his admirers--are terrified to see how scary Natsume is when he’s furious.

Natsume's biggest weakness is Ruka so Mikan is kinda fucked.

He doesn’t care about the game anymore. He only cares about Ruka.

So he goes to the Northern Woods, where nobody is expecting him. He tells Mikan to leave the school, which… she cannot do, obviously. He is overtaken by rage and he ceases to be reasonable.

He uses his alice on everyone but Ruka, and is about to use it on Mikan, but her alice nullifies it. Then Narumi kisses him, prompting him to pass out.

Here, we are introduced to a consistent character trait of Natsume’s, one that may contradict all that talk about forced maturity and selflessness. In fact, Natsume’s habit to go absolutely postal on anyone who threatens a loved one is a contradictory one. Going into a rage requires the sacrifice of common sense and reason for the sake of complete emotional detonation, and as a result he fails to understand that his actions could inadvertently hurt his loved ones or innocent bystanders. No reassuring words are enough to calm him down, and sure enough Natsume will destroy something.

It’s important that we see this trait now, as part of Natsume’s informal introduction, as we will see plenty more instances of it later on. In a way, going berserk for someone can even be a love language of his, where if a person being threatened is enough to set him off, he probably cares about them.

And just as interesting as seeing what he does in these situations is posing the why! Why is it that Natsume goes ballistic in these situations, when it requires the loss of the one thing he wishes he had more of, control? My guess is that Natsume has had a rough childhood and much of that time was spent running away from a dangerous entity. Staying cool and calculated under some conditions would have its benefits, but so would the quick-action and confidence that Natsume would gain by going berserk. When you have to protect someone, and Natsume has been in that situation many times, then it’s sometimes even beneficial to be able to lose yourself for a moment or two. But perhaps it’s not that either. Natsume is, despite all his airs of coldness and mystery, actually a very emotional person, and in that way he is easy to understand. Even if this isn’t a habit he developed by watching his loved ones ripped away from him through either extortion, manipulation, or just plain murder, it’s still something he might be predisposed to: attacking with everything he has despite not having a clear plan or even any real thought.

Chapter Six

We pick up where we left off and Natsume wakes up grumpy after everyone seeing him under the effects of Narumi’s pheromone alice. He causes more destruction, still in somewhat of a rage, and even causes Narumi a head wound though his teacher seems unbothered by this (or maybe even used to it, who can say).

The next thing that happens is that an alarm rings, signaling that Natsume is due for severe punishment, and, as Naru points out, not something he can help with this time. Narumi warns him to get a move on before a mystery enemy (Persona) arrives, and that is enough to scare Natsume into getting out of there. But not before he issues a word of warning of his own to Mikan, that she will regret coming to Alice Academy of her own free will.

Isn't it interesting how her optimism, something he hated so much about her from the start, ends up being something he loves about her?

I have very many thoughts about this warning. It might even seem like a threat, as if Natsume will go out of his way to make sure she regrets her decision, but he does no such thing. He is convinced that Mikan doesn’t need help reaching that conclusion--she will realize it on her own because the school is simply that terrible.

It makes a little bit of sense to view Natsume’s hatred of Mikan this way: Mikan skipped right into his own personal hell with a smile on her face and a bubbly attitude. Meanwhile, he fought and kicked and screamed right until the very end when he was forced into attending the academy. And Mikan is not some normal girl who might be able to live a quiet and pleasant life in the academy. She’s already been marked, what with all the games about her enrollment, and that might anger Natsume even more: she’s really naive enough to walk into a place that’s not just hell to him, but inevitably to her too. Because of this, Natsume hates her and is predisposed to hate her more the more cheerful and optimistic she is.

And, unlike in the anime, this hatred takes much longer to go away.

Anyway, we see Natsume again later in class, when he shows up late after having just been terribly abused as punishment for his actions in the Northern Woods.

In the anime, Natsume catches Mikan insulting him while wearing the punishment mask, and although he’s covered in scratches and the kids are whispering about his bad mood, there’s not much else to it. He doesn’t seem any more unpleasant than he’s been this whole time.

There's nothing funny about this but I will put here as a warning that anybody who jokes that kids should be hit will be hit by me!

In the manga, Natsume is so weak that he can hardly stand. It’s not just scratches, but blood and gashes on his wrists and legs. The mask is not only used to mark him, it’s also used to punish, by physically abusing him when Persona has better things to do.

He makes his way to his seat, but Narumi is on the way, just enough to make a quippy comment.

(I wonder sometimes about Narumi establishing himself as untrustworthy to the children, particularly Natsume, and how exactly that’s supposed to be a help to the student body at large. I mean there’s the possibility that Mikan is special, and her being Yuka’s daughter helped Narumi remember what he became a teacher for. In that case, it might make sense that Narumi, being so jaded and bitter, might be content acting as a villain to the abused children of the academy, and especially to Natsume, but I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I don’t want to think that Narumi was willingly complicit and even amused by Natsume’s abuse. It’s difficult to tell for sure, though, because Narumi is way more mysterious than Natsume tries to be.)

Sumire tries to kiss up, whining to Natsume about how everyone is suddenly acting so nice to the new girl, until Natsume forcefully kicks her desk to shut her up. He only holds back with Ruka, who he would never lash out at.

Narumi then announces that Mikan shall have a partner, and that her partner will be Natsume. It’s funny because although Hotaru made it clear she didn’t want the job, Iinchou was willing to volunteer, but Narumi ignores that because he always wanted Natsume to be her partner. At this news, everyone is shocked, wondering if Mikan is supposed to be special, seeing as she’s paired up with Natsume of all people.

Narumi smiles to himself despite the chaos and then lets himself leave the classroom, saying, “let’s see what happens.”

Why does he partner them up?

Mikan thinks Narumi is crazy for this, and from an outside perspective it certainly might seem that way.

Natsume’s theory, as becomes clear later during the exams, is that this was organized by the ESP and Persona, perhaps as a punishment, but definitely with ulterior motives. He is closer to nailing it, but a little off. There is no way in hell the ESP would want to partner the child of rabble-rousers with the school’s pet child soldier. That’s a recipe for disaster. Knowing that the ESP was excited to welcome Mikan because of her alice, and that her presence at the school might encourage Yuka to try and save her, he wouldn’t have wanted to disturb his own plans.

So what is the reason?

It’s all Narumi, of course. Perhaps the O.G. shipper, Narumi could tell right away that Mikan’s nullification would be useful, particularly in regards to Natsume. Pairing them up is just another means to an end, as Narumi actually wants the kids to raise some trouble.

Chapter Seven

Being partners with Natsume is quite unhelpful.

Mikan ends up a No-Star and her Special-Star partner is for the most part absent throughout her ordeals, having to cope with it all on her own.

Chapter Seven is mainly lacking Natsume. He functions to not function for most of it, that is to establish himself as being a terrible partner.

There is a moment that stands out, when Mikan is writing a letter to her grandpa, where Natsume appears. Yes, he appears in her head to taunt her about her regret coming to the school, and she spites him by committing to optimism and determination in the future. But he also has a short appearance paralleling a panel of Mikan: they are both in their beds, awake.

WHAT WAS THE REASON?????!??!?!?

This parallel is interesting, their panels right next to each other. She is thinking about her grandpa, and we have no way of knowing what Natsume is thinking about, but there has to be a reason for him to appear despite having been mostly absent so far in the chapter.

To me, it’s another narrative tool to pair them together. They have been so far, in more ways than one, and will continue to be as they fall in love, and this is just another example of how they’d been fated from the start. Even when they hate each other, and even when they aren’t thinking of each other, they’re still tied. Looking at those panels, and seeing Natsume despite his relative irrelevance to the plot, seems to be a message that there’s more to come between them. I don’t know if any of what I’m saying makes sense, or if it seems silly, but there’s very little analysis I can do without just talking about potential.

Later, with Mikan in a new mood, ready to make the most of her situation, the kids are talking about her resilience with both her no-star status and having Natsume as a partner.

Ruka does the talking for Natsume, warning Mikan that she’s being watched and remarking that nobody should have been assigned a no-star for simply disturbing class.

Once again, Mikan and Natsume are paired: they are both treated unfairly, with Mikan given a no-star status she doesn’t deserve, and Natsume given a special-star status despite the fact that he doesn’t even go to class most of the time. They’re the exceptions to the rule, and the reader is made to wonder what exactly it is that they have in common that would result in this treatment.

Ruka tells Mikan not to trust any teachers at the academy, not even Naru, and this is almost like hearing from Natsume himself. Unlike Mikan, who will happily make strong bonds with teachers like Narumi and Nodacchi, Natsume has absolutely no positive adult figures in his life. His father is far away, his mother is dead, and every teacher is someone he holds either directly or indirectly responsible for his suffering. The adults at the school have failed him and he has nobody to trust. Something Natsume needs is a positive role model, somebody he can look up to and have faith in, because as it stands he’s a traumatized boy who absorbs negativity and takes it out in bad ways. A trustworthy adult would very much help Natsume grow and learn better coping skills, and in the meantime it makes perfect sense that he would act out and even be a bully at times.

Chapter Eight

Natsume has a habit of ignoring any and all episodes where Mikan has confrontations with her teachers. He is either dozing off or listening to music with Ruka, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in even watching.

That being said, we see a new side to Natsume in this chapter, a new emotion in a way we haven’t before: fear.

Natsume ditches class with regularity. He does not care about being present. For most classes, he would simply walk out and go screw around somewhere else, but with the dangerous ability class, he doesn’t have that choice.

The other teachers may be complicit, but they won’t do the abuse themselves. Persona is not above that, as we have already noticed despite never even seeing him so far.

If Natsume does not want to attend the dangerous ability class, then he has to run for it, and in this chapter he does, like his life depends on it, because his safety sure does. He’s only ten years old and forced to do horrible missions for the school. This is one of the scenes that reminds me that he is just a child. He knows he could get punished for running, but he does it anyway. Maybe, if he runs fast enough, they won’t catch him. Maybe, if he doesn’t get caught, he doesn’t have to go on a mission. Maybe, just this once, they won’t mind if he doesn’t show. It’s such a childish and desperate thing to do, to avoid pain at the cost of more pain to come.

Natsume is scary when he's scared...

It’s funny that as he is running from pain, he runs into Mikan, who will later alleviate his pain. For now, he just shuts her up so that Persona can pass the area while looking for him. We see Persona for the first time, what Natsume is scared of more than anything, and although his fear seems obvious, Mikan is preoccupied by annoyance for being shut up like that.

They bicker--or she bickers at him, mostly--until the middle schoolers encounter them and start bullying them.

Natsume is ready to ignore them and walk away, until Sumire’s brother calls him a murderer, reminding us of the rumor Hotaru and Iinchou discussed. Natsume stops, and Sumire’s brother whines that he’s just a special star because he’s “Persona’s favorite”.

Sumire and her brother have, like, nothing in common other than curly hair, huh.

Being Persona’s favorite is no privilege, as we know now from the run-in we just had with him and Natsume’s fear. This sets Natsume off and he starts some fires. When they threaten to call Persona, who Natsume was just running from, he responds that they can call him all they want, but he’ll burn them before he can get there to capture him. We see once again, through Natsume standing up for himself, that his berserk button lacks reason (as he is willing to sacrifice punishment by Persona again).

In a last-ditch attempt to threaten him, the middle schoolers threaten Mikan, who they perceive to be Natsume’s new girlfriend. (Calling her his girlfriend is interesting because it is even more proof that they are being narratively paired together! It shouldn’t be a surprise at all that they eventually get together, when almost everybody around them pairs them up like this, even when they can’t stand each other.) They do not expect that Natsume actually hates her, and genuinely doesn’t care if she gets bullied or not. He smiles in twisted amusement at this turn of events and walks away for good this time, leaving Mikan to be bullied.

Aw, he's smiling! How sweet.... oh wait that's a skull.

Now, Natsume is a good person deep inside, somebody who is selfless and kind in secret ways. There is no secret kindness about this scene. He is not a nice person, for sure, and this scene is proof of it.

Natsume is used to sacrificing himself for the comfort and well-being of his loved ones, so there might be relief in not caring about the comfort or well-being of somebody, and being able to choose his own well-being before that of somebody else for once. It makes sense that he would be so amused, because this time nobody has anything to hold over his head.

Conclusion

We have seen some more of the abuse Natsume faces on a daily basis. He and Mikan have been partnered up and they are presented narratively as foils and as pairs even outside of that dynamic.

For the next part, we'll see even more examples of them being paired together, as well as how Natsume is isolated from his classmates.

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[nanaminokanojo]

Play the Game | Nanami Kento X You | Part 5/8

CHARACTERS: Nanami Kento X You (fem!reader | PLEASE READ THE NOTES BELOW*) | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Utahime Iori | other JJK Characters CHAPTER COUNT: 5/8 WORD COUNT: 3,900+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc depictions | female reader with described appearance* | modern au | rich people au | aged up characters CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity| cigarette smoking | age gap | strong/mature/suggestive language | drug use SPOILERS: n/a STATUS: COMPLETED

collection masterlist

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight

"Play the Game" Masterlist

The autumn winds heralded more clement weather, carrying the tart scent of peaches and pine in the air. With the balmier weather, everyone in the estate had taken their opportunity to be outdoors. Nanami himself had been dragged out and was walking with everyone who cared to go to the private orchards when at breakfast, the groundskeeper announced that everyone can go peach picking.

He watched from across the table as the object of his attraction visibly lit up, your glorious blue eyes brightening exponentially. You loved peach picking and he loved seeing you all excited over small things. But it turned out to be something of a disappointment when your attention turned to Geto instead of him, inviting him to go with you.

“You’re coming, aren’t you?” you asked expectantly, giggling like a little girl when Geto nodded, placing an arm over your shoulder and hugging you to his side while he said, “Anything for my favorite girl.”

My favorite girl. He had to stop himself from being petty and scoffing at the very thought of it. His annoyance was further validated when you generalized your invitation, saying anyone who wished to could come, voiced out by Yuuji who pouted at you and said you should have been inviting him since he loved picking peaches as much as you did.

That was just how it was with you when it comes to Geto. You forget everyone around you the moment he makes an appearance, and it seemed Nanami wasn’t an exception. He could accept that in the past. Ever since, you had been vocal about your preference for the dark-haired man who spoiled you to no end, letting you have your way and without fail made you smile and laugh like you never do with anyone else. When their group would go out, travel or do something else recreational, you’d always be where Geto was, dangling by his arm. You mellowed out with him when you met Yuuji, but the truth is that Geto Suguru is your favorite among your older brother’s friends.

This time, however, he couldn’t rest easy with you interacting that way with said male. If he was being honest, he only agreed to go peach picking after Gojo made him tag along because he wanted to keep a close eye on you. He was also being obvious about it with the way he was trailing you with his eyes every other five seconds, the realization dawning into him when Shoko walked beside him, grinning as she took a long drag from her cigarette.

“If you want to be with her, just do it,” the woman told him, easily reading him as usual. “You look like you’re about to blow your top.”

Nanami just glanced at you, his eyes involuntarily flicking to your familiar figure now circling around Geto as you walked, your hands and arms animatedly making big gestures as you seemingly explained something to him. He felt his temper rise when the male grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him so he could wrap an arm around you, his dark eyes finding Nanami over his shoulder in a sly taunt.

Shoko clucked her tongue, shaking her head. “We all know, Kento.” She glanced behind her where Gojo and Utahime were walking. “Only that white-haired idiot seems to know nothing. Or he pretends not to know.” She sighed. “I can’t blame him though. She used to be this really cute bundle of joy, but look at her now. She’s a grown woman.”

He couldn’t disagree with that. He knew exactly just how much of a woman you have become physically and mentally. What he doesn’t understand was why you weren’t walking with him instead while you’d be sneaking around with him, stealing kisses and hugs from him since the previous day when the pair of you returned from the lake.

At the rehearsal the previous night, you had stuck to him like glue, not that he minded. You purposefully touched him even when everyone was watching, running your fingers over his arm, leaning against him while everyone waited for their turn to practice their part for the ceremony and holding his hand while he sat with you in the garden during breaks, all the while feigning innocence to your actions. You even went to the extent of wrapping an arm around his waist while Gojo was speaking to you. The man, obviously aggravated, narrowed his eyes at you before turning on his heels and leaving.

“God, he’s so frustratingly dumb,” you muttered under breath, watching him leave. Only you had the guts (and right if Nanami was being honest) to call your brother dumb. It somehow made Nanami think that you were really just doing things to get a rise out of Gojo for whatever reason or whatever complex you had with him, but what confused him was that you didn’t stop even if your male clone wasn’t looking.

It was no different at the dinner that followed at the restaurant the family had rented for the night. You purposefully said you forgot something, declaring that you will be riding with Nanami instead, tossing your car keys to Megumi who saluted him while snickering with Nobara. Yuuji, being the most annoying of your three friends, deliberately bumped against him and said, “Make the most of it, Nanamin.”

He would have smacked the boy at the back of his head if the conniving little sprite dragging him around didn’t pull him towards his car. “Wait for them to leave,” you told him as you boarded his car.

“I thought you forgot something.” His lips quirked upwards, already realizing what you were playing at, but before he could say anything more, you grabbed him by the collar, silencing him with your lips. That ended up with you two being half an hour late to dinner after that one kiss turned into a full-on make-out session in his car with you sitting astride his lap while he kissed you stupid.

When both of you finally got to the restaurant, he expected you to let go of him, but you boldly walked with him to your designated seats, holding onto his hand as you led the way. He did not miss the way your parents were looking at the two of you, but he pretended not to notice. Your father was rather approving which was a relief but your mom was just confused. He could just surmise that your friends were in on it when you ended up sitting on the same table, reserving two seats for him and you, further proven when you exchanged high-fives with Nobara who, in turn, winked at Nanami. Of course, he thought, they knew.

You engaged in conversations with your friends for most of the duration of the dinner, but you never failed to smile his way or wink at him when you think no one’s watching. You didn’t ride home with him since he had to drive stupid Gojo after he got too drunk to function and instead drove your car with your pals. You and your friends didn’t come back for another hour, but when you got home, you rifled through the house, loudly asking everyone where he was.

Nanami had to suppress laughter as he crossed the foyer on his way to the stairs and saw how you pushed past Suguru to make your way towards him, latching onto his arm and announcing to everyone that you will walk him to his room cause he might get lost. You had giddily stuck to what you said you’ll do when he noticed how your eyes were bloodshot and you had that odd smile on your face.

“Sweetheart, are you high?” he asked, gently holding you at arm’s length. He already knew the answer to his question when he caught a whiff of weed on your hair. Typically, he’d scold you, but the way you were tittering for no reason was just too adorable for him to handle.

“Don’t be mad,” you said to him, attempting to pout, but you couldn’t in your state. You then started poking his cheek that he eventually had to hold your hands away from him. When you finally stopped laughing, you blinked up at him and said, “I want you to kiss me.”

He didn’t have to be told twice as he pulled you to a side hallway, pushing you against the wall, giving you a peck. You whined loudly. “You call that a kiss?” you complained.

“Be specific, love. How do you want me to kiss you?” he teased, leaning his forehead against yours, trying hard not to laugh as he held you back, preventing you from touching him. He was already aware of how you could easily take the reins and dominate him.

You smirked at him. “Kiss me dumb. Pretty please with a cherry on top, Kento?” You seemed to have discovered that calling him by his given name has become his weakness, and you succeeded because in the next second, he was all over you, prying your mouth open with his tongue as he pressed you against the wall with his body. You submitted to his touches, pulling him closer, your sensuous lips and the sweet flavor of your tongue driving him insane. Before he lost control, he walked you back to your room, defeating the purpose of you walking him to his.

But now, he had to watch you being monopolized by Geto.

He sighed. He could trust Shoko to shed off pretenses for once.

“You okay?” she asked.

He nodded. “I know she’s really fond of Suguru, but I can’t help but –” What was it that he felt exactly?

“You’re jealous. It’s natural especially when she was all clingy with you yesterday.” She chuckled. Shoko couldn’t have been more right, but the scene playing out before him was the least of his problems. It ran deeper than just the moment at hand.

Nanami promised to keep it a secret as Geto’s friend although it killed him a thousand times when three years ago, just a week before the time he had to haul you out of a bathtub after your cocaine episode, the male came to him, confiding that he wanted to pursue you romantically.

“Good luck on that,” he remembered telling Geto, feeling that same pang of envy pervading his system, but then the latter said, “It’s just that she said she likes someone else.” He looked at Nanami sharply as if he was angry at him for some reason, but retracted to his easy-going mood. “Forget I said anything. I can’t have her.”

“Why is that?” Nanami asked then.

At that, Geto smiled, sadness crossing his features. “I don’t deserve her.”

At odd to his words three years ago, Geto was as close to you as ever. You’re obviously still very fond of him. Still, Nanami wasn’t sure what the intention was behind Geto’s calculated actions. The man was just as aggravating as you are with your mutual penchant for games and keeping people on their toes.

Shoko stole him back from his reverie. “Just put a label on it already. She likes you, too, you know.”

“How do you know that?” he asked.

“Seriously?” She burst out laughing then. “Men are such dense creatures.”

“That’s offensive.”

“So is your obliviousness.”

“What does that even mean?”

She shook her head, her laughter dissipating. “Talk to her and find out.”

**

“I saw what you were doing with Kento last night.”

You looked at Geto who was walking beside you, not really knowing how to respond to his observations and settling for twirling the wicker basket you were holding. He flashed you a knowing smile, already used to your behavior when you were puzzling something in your head, caught up in your own bubble.

“I’m not as frustrated about Nanamin as much as I am with Satoru.” You sighed, remembering how your brother just walked away when he saw you holding onto Nanami, annoyed as if he thinks you were just trying to rile him up. “He’s so dense with things like this.”

“You’re one to talk,” Geto stated frankly, snickering at your appalled reaction. “On a more serious note, why?”

Letting up on your scowl, you said, “Well, he’s being a bitch about how I never tell him anything anymore. He asked whether I liked Nanamin and what was going on when I was being very obvious. I kissed the man in front of him, for heaven’s sake.”

“Sweetie, that’s not straightforward at all. You know yourself better than anyone, and seriously, even I get all confused as to whether you’re just messing with everyone, not to mention that you’re so erratic that we just don’t know what to expect from you.” Geto eyed you placatingly, letting you know that he was being earnest.

You easily laugh and smile because of him, but he just as easily offends your by being so brutally straightforward. You’re realizing that now that he was acting more like your older brother, and you knew you couldn’t get offended when you wanted assurance. “I just want to include him all the time but his reactions are so fucking infuriating. He treats me like a kid crushing on his friend if anything.”

“So, why not talk to him about it?”

“I don’t want to sit down and talk to him about it as if I’m asking for permission or approval. I love Satoru to smithereens – don’t tell him that – but he doesn’t get a say about what I want in life especially not where the people I date are concerned especially since he seems to have an aversion to me being attracted to any of you guys ever since I turned twelve.”

Geto chortled. “So you’ve been crushing on Kento since you were a kid?”

You made a face at him, punching him on the arm. “No, idiot. I liked you first.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

You momentarily stopped walking. “Yes, but then I found out what a womanizer you are but I won’t even venture into that. I’m not really fond of martyrdom,” you deadpanned.

Not even hiding his affront, he walked back to your spot and flicked you on the forehead. “I’m very offended you’d say that to me!”

“It’s true though.” You laughed, reaching over to squish his face before walking around him in circles. “If you think I’ll cry over your pretty face, you couldn’t have been more mistaken. Besides, I don’t want to share.”

“Now you’re just being a jerk.” He placed a hand over his chest, feigning insult. “I’m hurt, baby.”

“You deserve it for kissing that cheap model wannabe in front of me on your first runway show.”

“My, my. Your tongue’s loose today. Tell me more.”

“I settled for thinking I’ll just steal you from Satoru to be my best friend. Well, that’s before I met Yuuji. I guess I was just really jealous of what you and Satoru had. I wanted everything he had anyway until I realized that’s now how it works and there were things about me he couldn’t have either. Makes it fair.” You chuckled, finally making it in front of him. “Like that personalized plush bear you gave me on my eighteenth birthday. Man, that was huge.”

Laughing with you, he held onto your arm, pulling you close to him, glancing behind him.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, still giggling.

“Your boy toy would have killed me with those looks he’d been throwing at my direction since breakfast,” Geto whispered to you, making you look over your shoulder, too. There, you found Nanami, looking so breathtakingly gorgeous with the rakish way his hair had been styled and his chiseled physique outlined by the long-sleeved running top he had on. He’s been dressing more casually recently much to your satisfaction.

“Don’t call him that, He’s not my boy toy.” You couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “Sometimes, I have to stop myself from jumping his bones.”

It was Geto’s turn to make a face at you. “Sweetheart, I love you, but don’t say those things to me. Anyway, are you two together now?”

You tensed slightly and shook your head. “That’s up to him.”

“What?” He scoffed. “In case you’re not aware, you’re a prize. Don’t go doing all the work.”

“I know.”

“He should fight for it, too, if he wants you.”

“So Yuuji says.”

“He’s right.” Geto stopped walking, placing his hands on your shoulders. “You know I love you right?”

You nodded, poking fun at him. “More than your hoes, I hope.”

He clucked his tongue, rolling his eyes at you. “I’m being serious here. You may think I’m a hedonistic bastard who only thinks about getting laid all the time, but you’re a different story, sweetheart. I treasure you like Satoru does, and if I see something wrong, it’s my duty to tell you.”

Seeing the somber look on his face, your smile dropped. “What are you getting at?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he began. “Kento is a good man, better than Satoru and I combined to tell you the truth. But when it comes to things like this, he has the tendency to be indecisive.”

Your heart dropped, feeling nervous all of a sudden as your eyes widened in fear at the prospect. “Are you saying he doesn’t like me?”

“Honey, he loves you. I know so.” He snorted. “Bastard can’t even resist you anymore by the looks of it, but trust me when I say he’s going to over-analyze things because there are so many things to consider instead just going for it.”

“You mean Satoru?” you griped.

“One of them anyway.”

“O…kay.” You pouted in perplexity. “How would you advise me to proceed?”

Geto finally let up on the seriousness, bursting out laughing. “The gods are fair, aren’t they?”

Understanding why he was laughing, you punched him on the arm again. “I know I’m dumb at this, but at least try acting like the older, more mature one here. You should be flattered I’m coming to you for shit like this at all.”

Still laughing, he pulled you close and hugged you, planting a chaste kiss on the top of your head. When he was calm enough, he breathed out and squeezed you tighter. “Talk to him and be direct about it.”

**

You decided to approach Nanami when you spotted him alone under one of the trees, reading a book. The forgotten basket of peaches beside him, only half-filled, was indicative that he forgot about the activity at hand and is in his own world again. You adored his quiet side, the way he kept to himself, unafraid to be alone and always comfortable in his solitude, so much so that you hesitated to disturb him.

Quietly, you stalked towards him, making sure not to make any sudden sounds, but being him, he was immediately able to perceive your presence.

"You have a very dark taste in literature as a child," Nanami spoke when you’re within earshot, sensing your presence.

You frowned, sitting beside him, confused at first but upon seeing your battered copy of "Coraline" sitting on his lap, you understood what he meant. "Where did you find that?"

"In the library." He finally met your gaze, his expressions unfathomable. "I remembered you gushing about it when you first read it."

You nodded in understanding, but couldn't quite keep your mind in the conversation, plagued with thoughts of what Geto told you earlier. He was saying something about your fascination for the horror genre, but you cut him short, saying, "Can I ask you something?"

Nanami tilted his head slightly at the question, his quizzical gaze prompting you to proceed.

"What are we?" you blurted out, your blue eyes quite unable to meet his dark ones. You don't exactly know what was making you behave with such uncertainty. After all the times you had been confident where he was concerned, you were suddenly scared. You didn't fear being rejected by anyone. It has always been the case for you since you’re younger, but you were afraid of not knowing, of not being sure.

Nanami looked at you, deep in thought for a few moments until he finally told you, "That's up to you, isn't it?" His tone had a bite to it.

Unable to place where he was coming from at the moment, you hesitated. You rummaged through your head about what his response to you could imply, frowning when you came up with nothing. "What?" you said, thinking it better to ask.

"You heard me." He shrugged, opening the book to the page he was reading. By the looks of it, he was trying his best to ignore you.

You fought the urge to pose barb at him, too, wanting nothing but to get a straight response from him. "Why is it up to me?" You totally didn't understand, thinking it ought to be a decision the pair of you should make. Wasn’t that how it worked?

Silently cursing at the whole situation, you contemplated on your past relationships. All of them seemed less complicated. They liked you, you liked them. You decide to date, and when things don’t work out, the arrangement is broken off. High school and college boys were irritating to say the least, but you were expecting it to be a lot more straightforward with Nanami because he’s a mature adult. Now it seemed like you were in one of those previous relationships again.

“Elaborate on that,” you prompted him, seriously at a loss.

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is this another game of yours?"

To say you’re appalled by his odd line of questioning was an understatement. Unable to control your emotions anymore, you stood up. "What are you talking about?" You burst out laughing without mirth. For once, you’re being direct with what you wanted. For once, you weren't playing and yet all you get are questions being thrown at you.

"Go play with Suguru. He seems to enjoy your antics more than anyone," he told you coldly.

"What are you on about?" you demanded from him. “I’m asking you a simple question.”

Nanami flashed you a tired smile. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

He also stood up, obviously exasperated. "Look, I honestly don't know what we are. I'm not sure." He sighed when you eyed him in disappointment but that expression turned into icy indifference very quickly.

"You don't know," you repeated, nodding. "Okay. I see how it is."

For the first time in years, you felt stupid, so much so that you felt like tearing all the hair off your scalp. You didn't understand what was wrong with Nanami but so many thoughts ran through your head at the same time. You thought you might have asked too early. You thought maybe you read things between the two of you wrong. On top of all that, you felt so overwhelmed with anger over his response that you couldn't think straight, but you were also afraid of saying anything else in case your inner demon decides to jump out.

Turning away, you started walking away. You heard him call your name but you didn't look back, suppressing the urge to go back to him and instead storming out of the orchard. You didn't understand what the dull ache in your chest meant but you knew you couldn't handle it.

-end of part 5-

*I used “you” here, but since my character is Gojo’s little sister who is established to be his female clone for reasons essential to the plot, she possesses the same blue eyes and white hair. I did not exactly want to create an OC (although technically, I did by describing Y/N), but I opted for the best of both worlds in this fic, leaning more towards the literary aspect of it as opposed to it just being reader/you-oriented. I hope this isn’t iffy to anyone, and yeah, i’m not being exclusive or whatever.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S “JUJUTSU KAISEN.” [20210731]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[twokinkybeans]

The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [STARKER] - Chapter 17: HAMMERED HEARTS

READ “CHAPTER 17: HAMMERED HEARTS” HERE ON AO3

Find the masterpost with all the chapters linked here!

Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth​​ & @staticwhispersinthedark​​ (Let me know if you want to be added!)

Notes:  Y'all have no idea how anxious I was to write this chapter a a a aa a? I must admit, I had no CLUE what would happen so it was a lil hard to get into. BUT IT WORKED OUT. Wrote this on a little weekend trip (in our own country and definitely covid proof), and now that I'm back home; enjoy!!! -Kim

ps. I'm way too pleased with the small pun in this chap's name alsdjfalsdjf

-

Chapter 17: Hammered Hearts

Tony feels like he’s about to pass out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” he says hesitantly and stares at Bucky’s front door intently. Pepper is there. Pepper. He can’t believe that Bucky’s been able to persuade her into this conversation. Peter, who’s standing next to him, sends him a comforting smile.  “Just remember why you’re doing this. Everything else will follow. I gotcha, remember?” “Right,” Tony mumbles. Why. Why-why-why. 

The image of Morgan’s sweet little laugh appears in his mind’s eye, and an instant smile plays on his lips. His daughter. He owes it to her and himself to do this, and hopefully, that means they’ll be reunited.

Tony bridges the small gap between him and the front door and presses the small black button of the doorbell. In the distance, he can hear the ringing sound echoing through the hallway- and then there’s footsteps headed towards them. Tony doesn’t dare to look at Peter. One more of those gentle smiles and he’ll fall apart crying.  When Bucky opens the door, everything seems to suddenly set into motion by itself. Bucky greets them and steps aside to let them in. Tony does so, knowing that Peter follows along. “We’re in the living room, this way,” Bucky says. It’s clear he wants to get started on this sooner rather than later, the tension probably uncomfortable for him too.

And as easily as it seemed to step inside... When Tony enters the living room, time seems to freeze. 

“Daddy!”

Tony is nearly knocked down by the force of Morgan running straight into his legs and wraps her little arms around them. His eyes sting, and he stares down in disbelief. Morgan has buried her face against his jeans and tightens her grip. “Hey little monkey,” Tony whispers and gently takes her arms to unfold them so that he can crouch down. Morgan’s eyes sparkle with pure joy when their gazes meet.  “I missed you. I’m so happy you’re home!” Morgan says and giggles, rushing forward again to hug his neck this time. Tony laughs and lifts her, her legs clamping around his waist where he holds her. “I missed you too.” Tony doesn’t know what Pepper told her, and he would never want to set her up against Pepper or make her feel like she can’t trust her parents. He’ll play along with this game if that’s what it takes to restore this mess. “You’ve grown into such a big lady already!”

“She definitely has your appetite,” Pepper chimes in. Tony’s gaze warily finds her seated on the couch, and his smile falters a little. He tries to contain himself, though and focuses his attention on Morgan again. “Mmmh, that’s my girl.” Tony pokes her belly. “I bet there are lots of little pop tarts in there!” Morgan laughs and squirms where he tickles her, and when he stops, she pokes his face in return. “Daddy, who’s that?” She looks at Peter behind him and Tony blushes. Peter and he have never quite established what they are. When exactly they became friends, he still doesn’t know. When they became somewhat more? Still immensely confusing.  “That’s Peter. He’s a rockstar too!” “Oooh!!!! Just like you?” “Just like me.” At that answer, Morgan squirms out of his grip. When Tony puts her on the floor, she runs over to Peter - staring up at him defiantly. “One day,” she says proudly, “-I’ll be the biiiiiggest rockstar in the whole world!”

“Oh my,” Peter says with a grin. “I’m sure you’ll be a legend.” “See, Mommy?” Morgan sprints around and runs towards her mother. She climbs onto the couch next to Pepper and slumps down against one of the fluffy throw pillows that Bucky has on there.

“You guys want something to drink?”

-

Tony doesn’t know where to start. Pepper and he are seated outside on the small porch of Bucky’s house. Bucky and Peter are playing with Morgan in the garden. Her shrill giggles are music to his ears, and every time she turns around to wave at him, his heart clenches. He’s missed her so goddamn much, and even now that she’s actually here, he can still feel that sense of not having had her in his arms for so long.

“Why?” He asks eventually. Pepper sighs and clasps her hands tightly around the cup of tea she’s holding.  “It was… A lot of things,” she whispers. “Tony, I never meant for this to get so out of hand. I don’t…” A sob rises from her chest, and Tony looks up, surprised. Instantly his worries take over, and he scoots a little closer. All this time, he thought she’d simply wanted him out of their lives. But could it be that he was wrong all these months?

“Pep…” He whispers and frowns at himself for already resorting back to her nickname. “What happened?” “You know Justin, right?” “Your boyfriend?” “Eh, ex-boyfriend now… But yes.” Pepper sniffs and sits up straight, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “I never told him that you were Morgan’s father,” she continues. “But he got jealous either way. He said he’d kick us out if I let Morgan see her father again. I didn’t have anywhere else to go- I-” “Pep, you could’ve… Oh, God. Why didn’t you ask me for help?” “You had your medication problems already. I thought if I told you… Well- I didn’t want to send you off into an even worse place.”

Tony can feel a slight hint of anger wash over him. All this time, she made him think it was his fault. This problem could’ve been so easily fixed. He swallows and tries to suck it up. If he gets angry now, who knows what’ll happen. Pepper is finally opening up, and while Tony may be angry… He knows how difficult it can be to leave an abusive household- his own parents are the very proof of it. As much as he doesn’t know whether he wants to, he should try to support her here. “So… What happened to Justin?”

Pepper snorts angrily. “That asshole left for some young chick he met at a bar. Said he hated me, hated Morgan, and he kicked me out after all. I’ve been… Staying here, actually. Bucky was so kind to take me in. He didn’t know the full story, obviously. I swear, I never told anyone about your relationship to Morgan.” “Good riddance.” “I… I guess.” Pepper takes a deep breath. “Tony, I didn’t realize how bad this whole thing had spiralled and when Bucky talked to me… I… God, I’m so sorry.”

“I,” Tony hesitates. “I won’t say ‘it’s alright’ cause it isn’t… But, well, I understand why you did it…” “Tony-” “No, I really do.” After that, it’s silent for a moment. Tony glances at Morgan again, who is currently getting a piggyback ride from Bucky. He smiles faintly.  “What’d you tell her?” “That you were touring.” “Didn’t she ever tell Justin about it?” “No, I made it very clear to her it was a secret. She may be playful and mischievous, but she’s smart. She always felt the gravity of the situation even when she didn’t understand why.”

Tony chews on his bottom lip.  “I wonder how long we can keep this up- keeping her away from the spotlight.” “I don’t know Tones, but we’ll keep on trying.” “We will.”

After another short silence and Pepper finishing her tea, she smiles slightly.  “Thank you.” “What for?” “For… Being so mature about this. I won’t lie, this whole talk gave me some sleepless nights.” “Mmmh, I definitely don’t recognize that.”

Pepper chuckles, and Tony can’t help but chuckle along with her. It’s obvious that there are many things left to discuss. Pepper’s housing situation, where to go from here… But for now, Tony feels a strange hint of calmness washing over him. 

“So, who’s Peter?” “He’s in our opening band. The Arachnoids; cool, eclectic rock sound. Sorta 80s vibe and definitely a hint of Gen Z stuff that I can’t quite put my finger on. And-” “Tony, you know that’s not what I meant. Clearly, you don’t just bring a random dude from your opening band to a talk like this.” She eyes him with a curious glimmer in her eyes, and Tony groans, playfully exasperated. “I don’t know who Peter is, then,” he answers with a shrug. “I think I like him. And he likes me too? But we haven’t… Y’know, nothing’s happened yet.”

Pepper smiles, and Tony can tell she’s starting to relax as well. For a moment, it almost seems like this shitty mess had never happened at all. As if they’re just two friends again who simply happen to have a daughter together. 

“This is nice,” he whispers. “Yeah,” she mumbles back, casting her eyes down. “I’m… Really glad Bucky talked me into this. He, eh, told me some stuff about your meds too. It still isn’t sorted, right?” “Nope. Doctors don’t think it ever will. We’re finishing our second leg of the tour in three months from now, and I think I’ll take some time off after that to do some form of extensive therapy.” “Oh, Tony, that’s- That’s good.” She takes a deep breath and takes his hand. “I’m proud of you.”

The praise fills his chest with warmth, and he smiles at her fondly. He may have slept with her once, even though he’s definitely not into women, but he can still see her charm. He never realized that besides missing Morgan, he missed his effortless friendship with Pepper as well.

He hopes they can build on it again.

[sweetiejunie]

May i want something about a noona reader?

TxT having a crush on someone older than them

Genre: just fluff

A/n: thanks for request anonie, this was so cute💕 Hope u like this!

====================================

Crushing on you, noona

You were a new producer at their company. And from the first day he saw you walk into the company building, he knew he was falling for you, it wasn’t a speculation. The only problem was that... you were older than him. It may not seem like a big deal but he didn’t know how to act around you. There were times when you were so childish and playful, getting along so easily with him and the others. But there were times when he would watch you working and you’d be so mature and formal about your presentations. Gosh, what could he do...

—.*•—

Yeonjun

Confident boy would go up to you the first chance he gets

Age wouldn’t be a very big factor to him but he may be a little bit threatened since he doesn’t want you to view him just as your junior

Thus would do his absolute best to impress you whenever he could

Especially for things that he thought would make him seem more matured. Like his singing and dancing, or even the songs he produced on his own. He would want to show you just how great he was at all of it

One day he would randomly drop the honourifics to see your reaction, and was pleasantly surprised when he noticed you didn’t care all that much

But would still treat you with respect, after-all, you were still older than him and he wouldn’t want to seem disrespectful

He would be so happy whenever he had to chance to see you

Be it random visits to your studio or when you called him in the record his parts

Tries to show off his singing and do more runs or vibratos than you asked him to

In the end it would require him to do multiple takes before he decided to follow your instructions

Wastes almost an hour doing random things into the mic just to make you laugh. But he did this on purpose just so he had more time with you

In short, he would do everything in his power to impress you. Since you were older, he would naturally assume you would want to be with someone older. So he would want to prove that he could be better than anyone else you meet

—.*•—

Soobin

For a while he would just observe you from a far

Not in a creepy stalker way, but in an endearing way cause he was a bit intimated to approach you first

Can you imagine this huge teddy bear being intimidated by someone that’s probably barely at the same height as his shoulder? Well, believe it.

All of the other boys would probably have figured out his little crush

He wasn’t the best at hiding his emotions

And one day the others just shoved him in your direction when they caught him staring again

He would be so embarrassed when he stumbled and accidentally bumped into you

“Ah- ah... noona... sorry, i er- tripped.”

“It’s okay, soobin.”

And his heart would absolutely die when you smiled at him. And you knew his name???? Just heart eyes

The boys probably had to perform CPR on the poor boy [pt.1]

From that day on, he would shyly smile and wave at you whenever he saw you around the company

Would use the opportunities he had when he was in your studio to start conversations with you

Eventually he would open up to you and tease you every now and then, resting his chin on your head while you were working

All in all, once he gets over his initial shock and gets closer to you, he would full on try to show his interest in you and asks you out to dinner randomly after work one day

—.*•—

Beomgyu

From the moment he saw you he knew he needed your name, and to know everything about you

Might be a bit hesitant at first. But would want to just go for it, walking up to you and talk to you

Of course, he would talk to you respectively at first, he may be an irritating human but he still had manners

He would just be himself around you. This boy couldn’t act mature even if he tried

But as you got more comfortable around each other, he loved to tease you and make you laugh

Like how i wrote in ‘txt having a younger s/o’ he would tease you the same way, just the opposite, using the fact that he was younger to get you to help him with stuff

“But noonaaaa, im younger than you. You’re supposed to take care of people who are younger🥺”

Loves it when you worried and took care of him

Teasing you was just a way for him to get your attention and if that’s what he had to do, he’d do it in a heartbeat without any questions asked

During his breaks, he would randomly pop into your studio or at your desk and just bother you

Even if his break was 10 minutes, you can bet for the entire 10 minutes he’d be at your desk

“Noona, what are you doing? Noona, don’t ignore me :(“

It might take him a while before actually shooting his shot, but he just wanted to make sure you actually saw a potential relationship with him

—.*•—

Taehyun

He was already a pretty mature person for his age

But around you, he might try to be even more mature and adult-ish

From the start, he’d do all this in hopes that you wouldn’t see him as child, but as a potential love interest

When you first met, he would greet you whenever he saw you, using the proper honourifics and so on

Sometimes having some small talk and get to know you better

He’d be nervous talking to you, not sure what to talk about

But once you got to know each other better, he would tease you and roast you more

Bringing you small snacks or drinks on random days when he saw you working in your studio or at your desk

Having conversations with him would become easy, since he would be more interested in intellectual topics but also enjoy the random conversations every now and then

Whenever you were around he would be extra focused on his practice and schedule

Wanting to impress you and show you that he could be just as mature as you were

He might be young, with his mindset, he might be more cautious when he chooses who to give his heart to

Overall, taehyun would want to be aquatinted with you first. Making sure he was at least 90% confident you’d say ‘yes’ if he were to ask you out

—.*•—

Huening Kai

He wouldn’t even know he he was feeling at first. He would just think he saw you as his senior

But as time went by it would be the other boys that helped him realise his crush on you since he would talk about you 24/7

“Hyung, did you see the dress y/n noona was wearing today? She looked so pretty in it.”

Or

“Hyung, today y/n noona called me into her studio and we had so much fun. I messed up a few times, but noona was so nice.”

That was the moment kai realised he fucked up liked you more than what he initially thought

And that was the moment he realised, he had no idea what he was doing. You were older than him, what’s the chances you would even like him back

Would ask the other boys for help and when they told him to try getting closer with you at his next recording session. And he tried

Key word *tried*, cause he pretty much gave away how he felt

After his recording, he would run to the other boys and hug whoever was the first within his reach, probably completely flustered and embarrassed

Probably had to do CPR on him [pt. 2]

The next time you saw him, you had to be the one to approach him first since the poor baby would be too embarrassed to talk to you again

In the end, you would most likely be the one to ask him out first. Kai wouldn’t be proud to admit that, but he would still be so glad that you still saw a potential future with him despite the age gap.

=====================================

Lmk you think of this!!💕 surprisingly enough I didnt cringe as much as i thought i would writing the word noona 🤔🙃😂

[the-nysh]

Any thoughts of Garou's redemption path by taking vigilante route? I think even though Garou would do more heroic things (not that he would ever admit that), he doesn't have to follow "official hero standart" or working with people he doesn't really like. And if he consider Saitama's advice and have more confidence in his heart, I believe Garou can be an ideal hero like what he dreamed after all this time :"")

I feel he can eventually succeed at his dreams too, even after missteps, once he finally finds his way, specially tailored to him & his strengths. But that route you mention feels kinda like what ONE envisioned for him back in the 2016 popularity poll:

Still a lone wolf (but with short hair, and sporting the Bang-styled outfit) not affiliated with any group or adhering to any hero organization’s rules, but out there exterminating monsters & checking threats to humanity in his own self-motivated, vigilante-like way. :’) It’s definitely a possibility! Especially if he stays his own independent/free agent (like a wild card) behind the scenes.

Only...it’s hard to say yet if that possible outcome (like one of many potential paths to choose for the plot’s timeline) is what ONE finalized for Garou’s current continuity. :O Since the above image was done nearly 5 years ago, and ONE could have decided on something else in store for him now. Mainly because, there’s such a noticeable change in his demeanor compared to the calm, more center-focused (beaming and enlightened) Garou we’ve recently seen.

Where he seems to have found more tempered control over his anger (for ex: he’s able to walk away from Suiryu sabotaging his job without lashing out from the injustice) so it feels all his soul-searching post-Saitama has served him well; becoming wiser and maturing him to a considerable extent.

So considering all that, it makes me wonder...(once he settles his debts and does his own thing) is he just going to try settling down peacefully (unlikely with the Neos targeting his back) or jump right back into the bloodshed fray...? I wouldn’t want him to just...revert or relapse back to his old ways either (undoing all the reformed progress he’s made so far too, you feel?) So it’s also like, how much good (in the sense of making a difference in the opm world) will vigilantism do? 🤔 Especially if its (criminal?) behavior continues virtually unnoticed behind the scenes, without making much dent into solving the current plot’s problems (aka the growing monster phenomenon and creeping Neo Hero threat, which! Seem to be precisely the targets up his alley, IF he’s properly alerted and approaches their injustice in a more wizened manner. Without simply reverting back to his old ‘Hero Hunter’ ways towards them either...)

There’s also his hanging reconciliation with Bang to consider, and whether Garou’s that missing link/element for Bang’s teachings (fulfilling that needed empathy gap towards properly guiding the young and empowering the weak) to finally inherit the dojo and continued success of their school’s (style’s) future. Filling the niche that Bang’s hero retirement has opened, and perhaps formally continuing in Bang’s place... All that’s still left up in the air unresolved too. 

So I suppose...since his character still has so much untapped potential, I feel as if there’s so much more he can offer (to be directly involved/relevant in the plot again) beyond just taking the (relatively low key) pathway as a vigilante. :O And considering his lofty dreams and ideals towards heroism and what the world needs most (to save it~), I feel he’d be left unsatisfied approaching his goals that way thru vigilantism. It’s almost...too quaint for him, in a way. :’D Cause even if he doesn’t realize it yet, Garou’s also a key outlier who’s retained his humanity after transforming into a monster, and returned back to his human form. So if there’s any ‘cure’ towards saving the monsterized (ie the suffering & marginalized most at risk, whose hearts can still be reached also what about Sweet Mask’s fate) then...Garou’s your guy. :’)) A potential path for him to help out and make a difference towards saving others most in need, rather than continuing old & tried extermination tactics that haven’t fully ‘worked’ yet in the opm world. Garou can still try in his own way of course, as long as he still finds the endgame path that works best for him; I’ll be waiting~   

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift Bent the Music Industry to Her Will

By: Lindsay Zoladz for Vulture Date: December 30th 2019

In the 2010s, she became its savviest power player.

n late November 2019, Taylor Swift gave a career-spanning performance at the American Music Awards before accepting the statue for Artist of the Decade. (Swift was perhaps the perfect cross between the award’s two previous recipients, Britney Spears and Garth Brooks.) Clad in a cascading rose-colored cape and holding court among the younger female artists in attendance - 17-year-old Billie Eilish, 22-year-old Camila Cabello, 25-year-old Halsey - Swift had the queenly air of an elder stateswoman. After picking up five additional awards, including Artist of the Year, she became the show’s most decorated artist in history. “This is such a great year in music. The new artists are insane,” she declared in her acceptance speech, with big-sister gravitas. That night, she finally outgrew that “Who, me?” face of perpetual awards-show surprise; she accepted the honors she won like an artist who believed she had worked hard enough to deserve them.

Swift cut an imposing adult figure up there, because somewhere along the line she’d become one. The 2010s have coincided almost exactly with Swift’s 20s, with the subtle image changes and maturations across her last five album cycles coming to look like an Animorphs cover of a savvy and talented young woman gradually growing into her power. And so to reflect on the Decade in Taylor Swift is to assess not just her sonic evolutions but her many industry chess moves: She took Spotify to task in a Wall Street Journal op-ed and got Apple to reverse its policy of not paying artists royalties during a three-month free trial of its music-streaming service. She sued a former radio DJ for allegedly groping her during a photo op and demanded just a symbolic victory of $1, as if to say the money wasn’t the point. Critics wondered whether she was leaning too heavily on her co-writers, so she wrote her entire 2010 album, Speak Now, herself, without any collaborators. In 2018, she severed ties with her longtime label, Big Machine Records, and negotiated a new contract with Universal Music Group that gave her ownership of her masters and assurance that she (and any other artist on the label) would be paid out if UMG ever sold its Spotify shares. Yes, she stoked the flames of her celebrity feuds with Kanye West, Kim Kardashian West, and Katy Perry plenty over the past ten years, but she’s also focused some of her combative energy on tackling systemic problems and fashioning herself into something like the music industry’s most high-profile vigilante. Few artists have made royalty payments and the minutiae of entertainment-law front-page news as often as Swift has.

Within the industry, Swift has always had the reputation of being something of a songwriting savant (in 2007, when “Our Song” was released, then-17-year-old Swift became the youngest person ever to write and perform a No. 1 song on the Billboard Country chart), but she has long desired to be considered an industry power player, too. A 2011 New Yorker profile of Swift circa her blockbuster Speak Now World Tour noted that she initially intended to follow her parents’ footsteps and pursue a career in business, quoting her saying, “I didn’t know what a stockbroker was when I was 8, but I would just tell everybody that’s what I was going to be.” In an even earlier interview, she fondly recalled the times in elementary school when she stayed up late with her mother, practicing for school presentations. “I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds - because male artists are allowed to,” she said this year in an unusually candid Rolling Stone interview. “And I’m so sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business.” Of course, she still spent plenty of time sitting at her piano or strumming her guitar, but in that conversation she painted herself as someone who is also “sit[ting] in a conference room several times a week,” coming up with ideas about how best to market her music and her career.

And so over the past decade, Swift’s face has appeared not just on magazine covers and television screens, but on UPS trucks and Amazon packages. Her songs have been featured in Target commercials and NFL spots, to name just two of her many lucrative partnerships. That New Yorker profile also found her to be uncommonly enthused about the fact that her CDs were being sold in Starbucks: “I was so stoked about it, because it’s been one of my goals - I always go into Starbucks, and I wished that they would sell my album.”

“Taylor Swift is something like the Sheryl Sandberg of pop music,” Hazel Cills wrote recently in Jezebel. “She has propelled her career from tiny country artist into pop machine over the past few years with little shame when it comes to corporate collaborators.” Such brazen femme-capitalism will always be a turnoff to some people (“the Sheryl Sandberg of pop music” is even less of a compliment in 2019 than it was when Lean In was first published), but it’s undeniable that it has helped Swift maintain and leverage her status as a commercial juggernaut more consistently than any other pop star over the past ten years.

In the 2010s, with the clockwork certainty of a midterm election, there was a Taylor Swift album every other autumn. (Yes, there was a three-year gap between 1989 and Reputation, but she all but made up for it with the quick timing of August’s Lover.) The kinds of pop superstars considered her peers did not stick to such rigid schedules: Adele released two studio albums this decade, Beyoncé released three, and even Rihanna - who for the first three years of the decade was averaging an album a year - eventually slowed her roll and will have released just four when the 2010s are all said and done. The only A-plus-list musician who saturated the market as steadily as Swift did this decade was Drake.

Still, Drake’s commercial dominance was more of a newfangled phenomenon, capitalizing on the industry’s sudden reliance on streaming and his massive popularity on platforms like Spotify and Apple Music. Drake might be the artist who rode the streaming wave most successfully this decade, but - with her strategic withholding of her albums from certain platforms until they better compensated artists - Swift was often the one bending it to her will. And she could do that because she didn’t need to rely on it solely: Somehow, against all odds, Taylor Swift still sold records. Like, gazillions of them. When Swift’s 2017 record, Reputation (some critics thought it was a critical misstep, but it certainly wasn’t a commercial one), moved 1.216 million units in its first seven days, Swift became the only artist in history to achieve four different million-selling weeks. And, of course, all four of these weeks came during a decade when traditional album sales were on a precipitous decline. At least for those mere mortals who were not an all-powerful being named Taylor Alison Swift.

“Female empowerment” has been such an ambient, unquestioned virtue of the pop culture of this decade that we have too often failed to take a step back and ask ourselves what sort of power is being advocated for, and if its attainment should always be a cause for celebration. Is “female empowerment” any different from the hollow, materialistic promises of the late ’90s “girl power”? Is “female power” inherently different or more benevolent than its default male counterpart? Maybe this feels like such a distinctly American hang-up because we have not yet experienced that mythic, oft-imagined figure of the First Female President, and have thus not had to contend with the cold reality that, whoever she is, she will, like all of us, be inevitably flawed, imperfect, and at least occasionally disappointing.

As she’s grown into her own brand of 21st-century American pop feminism - sometimes elegantly, sometimes gawkily - Swift seems to have come to a firm conviction that female power is essentially more virtuous than the male variety. This was a side of herself she celebrated in her AMA performance. Swift opened her medley with a few fiery bars of “The Man,” her own personalized daydream of what gender equality would look like: “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can,” she sings, “wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.” She wore an oversize white button-down onto which the titles of her old albums were stamped in a correctional-facility font: SPEAK NOW, RED, 1989, REPUTATION. Plenty of the millions of people who scrutinize Swift’s every move interpreted her choice of outfit and song as not-so-subtle jabs at Big Machine’s Scott Borchetta and the manager-to-the-stars Scooter Braun, with whom Swift is still in a messy, uncommonly public battle over the fate of her master recordings. (The only album title missing from her outfit was “LOVER,” which happens to be the only one of which she has full ownership.) She has framed the terms of her battle with Borchetta and Braun in strikingly gendered language: “These are two very rich, very powerful men, using $300 million of other people’s money to purchase, like, the most feminine body of work,” she told Rolling Stone. “And then they’re standing in a wood-panel bar doing a tacky photo shoot, raising a glass of Scotch to themselves.” Though she is herself a very rich, very powerful woman, she reads their message to be unquestionably condescending: Be a good little girl and shut up.

It is true that many record contracts are designed to take advantage of young artists, and that young women and people of color are probably perceived by music executives to be the marks most vulnerable to exploitation. But it is also true that Swift signed a legally binding contract, the kind that a businesswoman like herself would have to respect if it were signed by somebody else. Braun, who has been asking to have these negotiations in private rather than on Twitter, claims to have received death threats from her fans.

Even as she’s grown into one of the most dominant pop-culture figures in the world, Swift sometimes still seems to be clinging to her old underdog identity, to the extent that she can fail to grasp the magnitude of her own power or account for the blind spots of her privilege. “Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,” she sang on Speak Now’s Grammy-winning 2010 single “Mean,” seemingly oblivious to the fact that, compared to 99.99 percent of the population, she already was. The mid-decade backlash to Swift’s thin-white-celebrity-and-model-studded “girl squad” - none of which was more incisive than Lara Marie Schoenhals’s hilarious parody video - took her by surprise. “I never would have imagined that people would have thought, This is a clique that wouldn’t have accepted me if I wanted to be in it... I thought it was going to be we can still stick together, just like men are allowed to.”

“Female power” is not automatically faultless, and can of course be tainted by all other sorts of biases and assumptions about class, race, and sexual orientation, to name just a few more common pitfalls. Swift’s face-palm-inducing 2015 misunderstanding with Nicki Minaj revealed this, of course, and plenty of people felt that her sudden embrace of the LGBTQ community in the “You Need to Calm Down” was a clumsy overcorrection for her past silence. Maybe she would have gotten where she was quicker if she were a man. But it would take a more complicated, and perhaps less catchy, song to acknowledge she might not have gotten there at all had she not also enjoyed other privileges.

Art has its own kind of power - sneakier and harder to measure than the economic kind. The reason Taylor Swift has been worth talking about incessantly for an entire decade is that she continues to wield this kind, too. “I don’t think her commercial responsibilities detract from her genuine passion for her craft,” a then-17-year-old Tavi Gevinson wrote in a memorable 2013 essay for The Believer. “Have you ever watched her in interviews when she gets asked about her actual songwriting? She becomes that kid who’s really into the science fair.”

After so much industry drama, much of the lived-in, self-reflective Lover is a simple reminder that Swift was and still is a singular songwriter. Yes, this was the decade of such loud, flashy missteps as “Look What You Made Me Do,” “Welcome to New York,” and “Me!,” but it was also a decade of so many quieter triumphs: the pulsing synesthesia of “Red,” the nervous heart flutter of “Delicate,” the sleek sophistication of “Style,” the concise lyricism of “Mean,” the cathartic fun of “22,” the slow-dance swoon of “Lover.” But like so many of her fans, and even Swift herself, I still find the most enduringly powerful song she’s ever written to be “All Too Well,” the smoldering breakup scrapbook released on her great 2012 album Red. “Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well,” she sings, an innocent enough lyric that, by the end of the song, comes to glint like a switchblade. In a decade of DGAF, ghosting, and performative chill, remembering it all too well might be Swift’s stealthiest superpower. She felt it deeply, can still access that feeling whenever she needs to, and that means she can size you up in a line as concisely cutting as “so casually cruel in the name of being honest.” Forget Jake Gyllenhaal or John Mayer. That’s the sort of observation that would bring Goliath to his knees.

“It is still the case that when listeners hear a female voice, they do not hear a voice that connotes authority,” the historian Mary Beard writes in her manifesto Women & Power, “or rather they have not learned how to hear authority in it.” At least in the realm of pop music, Swift has spent the better part of her decade chipping away at that double standard, and teaching people how to think about cultural power a little bit differently. She sprinkled artful emblems of teen-girl-speak through her smash hits (“Uhhh he calls me and he’s like, ‘I still love you,’ and I’m like, ‘This is exhausting, we are never getting back together, like, ever”) and did not abandon her effusive love of kittens and butterflies in order to be taken seriously. As an artist and a businesswoman, she made the power of teen girls - and the women who used to be them - that much more perilous to ignore. Because they’ve been there all along, and they remember all too well.

[askthewitchlady]

Cagaster of an Insect Cage Review

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

So first things first yes this is one of the many CG animated anime that’s been popping up a lot lately, no its not good. Yes the occasional segments of 2D is much better.

With that out of the way.

This has a neat premise. Essentially at some point in the near future humans begin to suffer from a sudden onset illness that turns them into giant man eating bugs.

These people refereed to as Cagasters take 20 minutes to fully turn into bugs, during that time they can be killed but must be beheaded because the neck remains the weakest point of the body.

Interesting right? But that's all we get because this story isn't about bugs, or fighting the bugs or surviving against the bugs as much as the first few episodes with their episodic type story lines would lead you to believe.

The story focuses on 14 year old Ilie, a young girl who survives a bug attack witnessed by a merchant and his friend our exterminator protagonist 17 year old Kidow. Let me point out never in the show is his age stated I learned that from the wiki.

Why is this important? Because in one scene in Kidows back story he's sexually taken advantage of by an older woman while grieving the death of a father figure, then a little later (in the show not in his history) he proceeds to try and force himself on Ilie to cope with his grief. It's more then uncomfortable especially when you go in thinking he's gotta be in his early twenties like I did.

Anyway Ilie loses consciousness but is protected by her father who suffers a mortal wound. He begs Kidow to take Ilie to her mother Tanya.

Ilie wakes up as they prepare to leave and in horror and desperation to save her father tries to run back to the truck only for Kidow to smack her.

What a hero...

This show would have been in no way effected if Ilie had been 16, or better 18. It would have made their relationship a lot less uncomfortable.

The story goes for a few light hearted episodes (Well as light hearted as you can be with grisly murders happening.) With vague hints to a deeper plot. By episode six the show jumps the shark into WTFville

Ilie is a Cagaster Queen. Ilies mom Tanya was born from a woman who had a 'Cagaster outbreak' while pregnant making her a queen, Tanya was also in a desperate one sided incestuous relationship with her (not blood related) brother. Ilies father (Tanyas adopted brother) is a sociopath who believes he died in place of his father and his body was possessed by his fathers soul, he uses Tanyas love for him to achieve his goals but does have a distorted affection he doesn't understand. Ilies mother Tanya had been used to try and make more 'Queens' resulting in the creation of asset 8 her cloned 'twin' considered a failure because he was boy. His half bug breeding is manifested in literally having a half bug half human body.

There’s a general who wants to rid the world of bugs by using the Queens to see who has Cagaster potential and kill them hoping to eventually wipe them all out a plan that causes the destruction of two major human settlements.

That's not even all of it. Cagaster outbreaks are never explained, all we know is a queen can see it and trigger it if she wants. Anyone under 15 also will never suffer an outbreak though its never said why. We don't know what else triggers it because obviously there aren't a bunch of Queens walking around.

Ilie and Kidows relationship is weird and a little out of left feild especially after she gets her memory back and goes full on tsundere on him. The fact it's a major case of hero worship and that she's 14 makes it sqicky i know Kidows 17 so its only a 3 year age gap but what 17 year old gets the hots for a 14 year old, the mental maturity alone is hugely different.

A lot of things are left unexplained about the bugs, we gets hints that they are the next step in human evolution... Riiiight

The climax of the show lasts 5 episodes... in a 12 episode show, that’s bad.

That being said there are some good things

The bug concept was neat and the idea of a human queen that can sense and control it is cool to.

There are some complex character relationships and the scenes with Ilie growing up with the man she thinks is her father are adorable.

Mario is awesome, moar Mario, a prequel about Mario, something.

The setting is never actually stated but judging by fashions and terms its its likely its someplace in the middle east which is cool.

Final thoughts?

This show held my attention till the end, but, it's flaws make it one I'll probably not watch again. It's not terrible and I am sure some people will really like it, there where parts I really liked but unfortunately the problems and the very very slow ending that felt akin to a DBZ or Naruto fight mean it hasn't got a lot of rewatch value.

See it once but I doubt you'll want to watch it again.