#there's a lot of jokes i can make here but i'm not going to

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Authors who apologize for a high word count make me want to hug them so hard. THANK YOU for high word counts cuz to me, that means that your muse was on absolute fire and the fact that you did the work to follow that muse every step of the way AND share it with us? What a gift and an honor so again...thank you.

For anyone looking for a "quick summary" of my feedback?

Never has a GIF been more accurate cuz this story is DEFINITELY A PEARL CLUTCHER!

Ahead there be

THE SHEETS are chilled, crisp to the touch, cold enough that shivers tickle their way across exposed skin. A sigh is heard, loud enough for wandering ears as a figure moves about in the unmade, blanket muddled bed. The window had been left open, and as a result, cold air had poured into the room.

I live on a 2nd floor in a little hot box of a room, so this description is so detailed that I could feel it all and I'm jealous :)

Logan was not your boyfriend; he wasn’t even a friend. While he was cordial with the others in the mansion, he remained cold and indifferent toward you.

Ohhhh, one of these, eh? When the MMC acts like this, more often than not, it's cuz he thinks it's better to act this way then pursue OTHER feelings so I wonder if that's what we have here....

Though, you were only human and Logan fucking Howlett was a man worth embarrassing yourself over, especially when he looked like he did. He wasn’t, your mind huffed. He was, your heart retorted.

OMG I so relate to what she's going through and it's so precious to see her head and heart at war, over a dude who "doesn't like her."

Scarlett hues dust your cheekbones, lips bitten until they’re swollen and shiny with spit. Your breasts ache from inside the confines of the pink, lacy shirt, made worse with each labored breath you inhale as perky nipples brush the material. Your hole feels incredibly empty, the need to be filled overpowering. Your clit, puffy and neglected, throbs with pure, searing need. Another wave of aching pleasure from your wetness breaks your resolve— a shaky hand slipping from its place on your stomach down, down, down until cold fingers meet the mess between your thighs.

Again, the description is so meticulous that I can feel every bit of what's being described and WHAT TORTURE!

You were split between wanting to sink down onto his cock and rut your swollen nub against the curls that nestled the base of him and stuffing his dick down your throat, gagging around him until he came and coated your throat with his spend.

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz, me too??? LORDT.

The 8.5 K words is - NO JOKE - quite smut centric. I'm not sure I've read that many words that were actually smut centric? But there are involved and erotic descriptions of her masturbating to thoughts of Logan and they are DELICIOUS and I won't quote anymore cuz YOU NEED TO GO READ FOR YOURSELF! But imagine the horror when someone comes KNOCKING AT HER DOOR right when she finishes?! I think we know where this is going, don't we?

Logan could fucking smell you. It’s a heady aroma thats so completely you, that his body feels deranged, just about ready to march up those steps and break down your door. He shakes himself loose from the metaphorical shackles of you and begins the journey to his room, trying to block out how delicious and syrupy you smell.

You know what's funny? Having read my fair share of super soldier smut as well, the MMC being able to smell the woman's arousal comes up A LOT. And it's such a weird mixture of feeling absolutely mortified but also really turned on (because the MMC is always aroused by the smell, fantasy come true).

From here on out, the storytelling focuses completely on the carnal which is ABSOLUTELY WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD. I'm not sure I've ever read smut this long in my entire life.

AND? It's good quality smut allllllllllllllll the way through. You gotta like it filthy, dirty talk (speaking of what they want to do to each other in explicity terms), and extremely detailed. I felt hypnotized all the way through it.

Logan is an excellent mix of gruff, rough, dominant and completely enamored of his partner. And his partner is a good foil for him because she wants him JUST AS MUCH, is vocal about it, and is as eager to please. These 2 have strong feelings for each other that are outlined in the story preceding the smut, and then reinforced once they are together. Logan in particular is in what I refer to as "worship" mode. He can't stop declaring "mine" and even in his own thoughts, thinking about the way she looks and how he wants to keep her to himself. When the emotions / connection between 2 characters is so well laid out for me as a reader, it intensifies ALL the physical stuff going on, and since this story is MAJORITY SEX? You can imagine how intense of a read it is!

It's an excellent pairing, and again, I've not read this much smut that is both out of this world with how detailed and involved it is, but also grounded in really good characterizations that kept me absolutely hypnotized to the end of this story. PLEASE GO READ IT, GUYS, BECAUSE WOW DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!

I legit am sweating lol

@logansbaby thank you so much for creating and sharing. What an absolute masterpiece!

GUILTY AS SIN - Logan Howlett

❥ summary: the entire time you’ve known logan howlett, you’ve tried to keep your longings locked. then, one night, all that effort goes to waste when you’re confronted about your feelings.

word count: 8.5k (IM SORRY!!!!)

pairings: logan howlett x fem! mutant reader

content warnings: 18+ CONTENT MDNI, masturbation, dirty thoughts, light choking, multiple orgasms, oral (reader and logan receiving), spitting, sixty-nining, scent kink, like one spank, underwear stays ON, slight hint of arousal from crying?, creampie, p in v (practice safe sex ty!)

❥ a/n: guys…… am i…. a whore? (yes) do i need to be locked up? (also yes). i started this when i was on my period so maybe that’s the reason this is so filthy? anyway i don’t know how it got to 8k of smut but it DID and i have nothing to say about that… also reader has a mutation it’s not super in depth but her hair changes to red in certain situations and she has red light/energy she manifest in her hands, kind of confusing but it’s okay. anyway please please enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3

— ˚｡⋆⟡♡⟡⋆｡˚

‘I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top lip kiss

How I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?’

Guilty as Sin? - Taylor Swift

— ˚｡⋆⟡♡⟡⋆｡˚

THE SHEETS are chilled, crisp to the touch, cold enough that shivers tickle their way across exposed skin. A sigh is heard, loud enough for wandering ears as a figure moves about in the unmade, blanket muddled bed. The window had been left open, and as a result, cold air had poured into the room.

Despite the fact that goosebumps adorn your body, it felt as though you were on fire. Huffs escaped parted lips, a charged hum zipping through your veins that only intensified each time you moved. You’d been trying to sleep for the past couple hours, trying to ignore the need thrumming through you, but had only managed to fail.

You turn on your side for possibly the twentieth time, but the position only worsens your state as the flesh of your thighs squeeze unintentionally, a wave of brief relief sent to your throbbing core. Tears brim your lashes, damp with frustration because fuck, your body was humming with lust and everything was so, so sensitive.

This was all Logan’s fault.

The man has been gone less than a week and yet, your body was practically vibrating with need, trembling with desire.

The feelings you harbor make you feel shameful and guilty for a handful of reasons.

Logan was not your boyfriend; he wasn’t even a friend. While he was cordial with the others in the mansion, he remained cold and indifferent toward you.

You pretended it never bothered you when he pointedly ignored your greetings in passing or refused to partner up with you. You didn’t understand what you’d done to upset him, to warrant his treatment of you as if you were the most annoying person on the planet. More often than not, you are the subject of the man’s pointed glare.

So, logically, your heart shouldn’t race at the mere thought of him. Nor should desire pool between your thighs whenever images of his sweaty form cloud your mind.

By definition, you were immensely smart; a genius with how you could understand what others could not.

Though, you were only human and Logan fucking Howlett was a man worth embarrassing yourself over, especially when he looked like he did.

He wasn’t, your mind huffed.

He was, your heart retorted.

A memory comes forward, one that has your cheeks blushing, your chest rising a little faster than before.

A couple weeks ago, you’d been up late, struggling to sleep and with the way it evaded you, wandering the halls had been your solution, in hopes of tiring yourself out.

But when you had walked down your hallway, you froze at the sight of a shirtless Logan in his room, the door left ajar.

A towel covered his head as he scrubbed away the wetness in his hair, and you desperately hoped he hadn’t noticed your presence. Water dribbled down his muscular body, and your eyes greedily watched each droplet descend down, glistening against the tan stomach you wanted to bite. What really had you drooling, however, was the thick, prominent vein that crept down into the waistband of his gray sweatpants. Said pants had your eyes wide with the prominent bulge tented in the material.

When you just barely caught yourself from moaning, you had dashed back to your room right away. You were wide awake still, but for a completely different reason. All you could think about was tracing your tongue along that vein.

If you’d fucked yourself that night to the thought of him and his glistening torso, no one had to know.

So theoretically, if you gave in to your cravings, it wouldn’t be the first time, but it certainly wouldn’t make you feel any less guilty.

Scarlett hues dust your cheekbones, lips bitten until they’re swollen and shiny with spit. Your breasts ache from inside the confines of the pink, lacy shirt, made worse with each labored breath you inhale as perky nipples brush the material. Your hole feels incredibly empty, the need to be filled overpowering. Your clit, puffy and neglected, throbs with pure, searing need.

Another wave of aching pleasure from your wetness breaks your resolve— a shaky hand slipping from its place on your stomach down, down, down until cold fingers meet the mess between your thighs.

A gasp sounds, melodic as it swirls with heavy breathes, fluttering around the room as you brush over your clit. Even through the material of your underwear, the slight pressure of your fingers made you mewl.

Flashes of Logan dance behind closed lids, your imagination running wild while you messily swirl over your bundle of nerves.

You wanted him so, so bad, in every way possible, it actually hurt, both your heart and core.

Your mind submerges your consciousness with thoughts of him; his pretty hazel eyes, the slope of his nose, the tufts of his brown hair. The muscles that were constantly on display, his thick thighs that you wanted to ride until you came all over him, and the huge bulge that was ever present in those flattering jeans of his (and if it was a reoccurring fantasy of yours to ride that delicious bulge over his jeans until you both came from just dry humping, again— no one had to know).

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stop thinking about Logan.

Him hovering over you, dog tags swinging in your face as he fucked you hard. Him picking you up and taking you against the nearest surface, lips trapped in an erotic kiss. Him prying your thighs open as he licked up your pussy, tongue dipping into your hole to lap up all the desire pooling, his lips wrapping around the swollen bud and sucking violently. Him holding your face lovingly as his hips thrusted his cock deeper into your throat, groans spilling at the gag you’d let out.

You were split between wanting to sink down onto his cock and rut your swollen nub against the curls that nestled the base of him and stuffing his dick down your throat, gagging around him until he came and coated your throat with his spend.

You didn’t even bother to remove the damp underwear, instead circling the engorged bud over the material— and oh, fuck. The roughness of the lace mixed with the delicious rubbing of your fingers send little moans tumbling from parted lips.

Your unoccupied hand slips under the shirt covering your chest and only settle once your nipple is pinched between determined fingers, rolling the pert bud in tandem with the amorous touch of your hand on your sex.

Pleasure nips at your pelvis, and if you were a little more aware, you’d be embarrassed at how fast you to reaching your peak. But, as it is, your brain is completely hazy with wanton thinking and the only thing on your mind was lessening the ache that pulsates deep within you.

And fuck, you’re so fucking needy for logan that you try to pretend it’s his fingers abusing your clit, his fingers tugging at the sensitive buds of your chest. You want his tongue between your thighs, licking up your desire and sucking your puffy bud into his pretty mouth.

Chest rising rapidly, you feel overwhelmed at the fantasies swirling before your eyes. Its far too much— the mix of your filthy desires and your fingers rubbing your nub have your legs quivering as wetness coats your hand.

“Logan, Logan, Logan—“ The chant of his name mindlessly falls from you, the feeling of your orgasm washing over you, threatening to pull you under those soaring, unforgiving waves of pleasure.

Eyes snap shut, ears ring with white noise, and your hips hump your hand pitifully— you were an absolute, writhing mess against the sheets.

The hair messily strewn around your pillow shifts then from its natural state to a dark red. Even with your eyes shut, you could feel the vermillion light whirling at your fingertips, begging to be released.

Your mutation was not one of subtlety.

Searing bliss coils in your lower tummy, your button tingling with the after effects of the orgasm that crashed into you. You sigh, because even though you just came, you felt far from satisfied. Your body buzzes with sweltering hunger, all the way from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. Even if you fuck yourself dizzy with another orgasm, you knew it won’t satiate your body. Not completely, anyway.

Before you could slip your fingers inside your weeping hole, a loud knock echos through your room.

You still; desperate and hoping that if you ignored the noise, whoever was knocking would simply go away. But when another rhythmic thump comes a few seconds later, you huff.

It’s well past midnight at this point, so who in their right mind would be going about and slamming their fists on your door?

Apparently, you arent moving fast enough when the person has the nerve to knock for a third time, hand a little heavier than before. A growl, tinged with annoyance, slips out as you fling yourself up and off the bed.

You stomp to the door, ready to tell the person on the other side to fuck off.

But when you actually swing open the mahogany door, all the anger simmering beneath your heated skin disappears, along with your breath, as your eyes take in the sight before you.

Logan Howlett stands before you, seemingly angry as a frown etches deep on his face. He glares at you, hazel eyes swarming with exasperation and something unknown.

And little did you know, all of your craziest, fatal fantasies were about to come true.

❥

The moment Logan steps into the mansion, finally back from the complete shit show of a mission Charles had sent him on, he tenses instantly.

His fingers clench into fists, tight enough that the skin turns white. The adamantium claws threaten to poke through his knuckles as he inhales deeply.

Big mistake.

That sweet, sweet scent swarms his heightened senses, the intoxicating smell nearly making him dizzy. His heart speeds up, his stomach flutters, and his cock twitches in the confines of his jeans.

Logan could fucking smell you.

It’s a heady aroma thats so completely you, that his body feels deranged, just about ready to march up those steps and break down your door.

He shakes himself loose from the metaphorical shackles of you and begins the journey to his room, trying to block out how delicious and syrupy you smell.

He decides then, as his body finally moves up the steps, that ignoring you is the best option.

But as he gets closer to the hallway he shares with you (just his luck, by the way!), he realizes that plan is a joke.

He feels his control slipping, especially as the heady scent grows stronger, tinged with something else— something erotic and salacious.

Logan curses, his entire being rigid.

You’re aroused, the smell seeping under the crack of the door giving you away instantly.

The idea of you whining as your pussy drips slick between your thighs has him grinding his teeth, fingers flexing and unflexing in an attempt to harness the control back to his body.

Though, it goes out the window entirely as his body is apruptly outside your door, unconsciously drawn to the very essence of you.

There’s a reason Logan has kept carefully crafted distance between the two of you.

The minute he was introduced to you, a new member of the x-men and teacher for the school, he knew he was fucked.

From the first look shared between you, he knew.

A pretty smile had graced your lips, eyes filled with joy as you greeted him, a hand outstretched in his direction as your hair swayed with your movements. In your cute, little outfit (a pretty, white lace dress that kissed the tops of your thighs, matched with baby pink pumps that accentuated your legs), he thought you looked like a princess.

He had stayed frozen, however, because he was assaulted with the fucking smell of you. It was nothing like he’d encountered before, and he’d been around for over a century.

Your scent was so fucking sweet, vanilla and honey permeated his nostrils and right in that moment, he wondered if you tasted as sweet as you smelt.

He knew that he had to keep his distance, otherwise he’d become addicted to you in every sense. If he let himself, he’d worship the very ground you walked on. He couldn’t risk having the walls he’d spent so long building to crumble.

And in an instant, he was angry that his body had reacted this way to someone he’d never even met. He was angry he wanted to press sweet kisses on your face while simultaneously wanting to fuck you on his cock until you screamed his name.

So, with that, he’d made up his mind.

He had simply glared at you, refused to acknowledge your existence and stormed out of Charles’ office. And since that day, he’s tried his hardest to pretend you didn’t exist— if only to ease the way you constantly haunted his every thought.

He pretended it didn’t kill him to see how your face would crumble at his rude behavior, at how he avoided you at all costs. He couldn’t help it, though, because if he treated you how he wanted, like the princess you were, he’d never let you go.

A sudden noise shakes him from the depths of his mind, that carnal, sensual essence growing stronger by the second.

“Logan, Logan, Logan,” your honeyed voice whines, all airy and light.

And it’s almost comical how the telltale snikt! sounds immediately after because what?

What the fuck? He thinks, mind utterly destroyed at the revelation that not only were you seemingly fucking yourself, but you were moaning his name.

Logan growls, low and dangerous as his claws reveal themselves, cutting through the skin of his knuckles. His body feels unnaturally hot, practically set on fire. His cock now uncomfortably hard in his jeans, lustful essence bubbling at his tip and no doubt staining his boxers.

With the wafts of your pretty aroma and sounds of your lewd whimpers, he knows he can’t resist you any longer.

His hand lifts, claws retracting as his heavy fist slams on your door.

And the sight of you, face shiny with a sheen of sweat has him choking on his own saliva.

Tonight was the night his control finally snaps, despite months of work put into avoiding you.

Logan knows his animalistic side is about to be released; he’s going to fucking ruin you.

❥

You gulp, a hand resting on the door frame as you stand frozen because honestly, what the fuck?

You deduce that the universe hates you because why? Why would the man you’d been thinking of while masturbating be right in front of you?

It only dawns on you when Logan’s gaze swipes over your figure that you’re basically naked. Clad only in your blushed, frilly top and the matching underwear, the latter soaked with both your arousal and release.

You shrink beneath his eyes, warmth simmering hot on the apples of your cheeks, and your mouth opens and closes, yet no words follow.

“Uh— Logan, hey!” Your voice is shaky, and whether it’s from the power of your release or the nerves that bumble beneath your skin at the man before you, you couldn’t tell. All you know is that you want the ground to swallow you up whole.

Logan doesn’t respond, just continues to stare at you in a way that you don’t understand. You assume he’s just gotten home from the very long mission, and confusion settles over you as to why he was at your door, especially considering how he badly despises you.

You’re about to voice that exact thought when Logan beats you to speaking.

“I heard you.” His gruff tone is coated in something darker than you’d ever heard before.

For a moment, you’re perplexed, brows furrowing and raising before your eyes go comically wide.

And— oh, oh.

“Can smell you, too.”

Heat licks at your whole body, embarrassment threatening to envelope you entirely. Tears of horror tickle your lash line, because this was probably the most painful moment of your life. Not only does the man hate you, but now he’s heard you moan his name as you came all over your fingers? How pathetic are you?

You open your mouth, an apology heavy on your tongue. You need to say something to quell the panic flooding your body— you’re never going to get over this

Though, before you can even speak, Logan slams his mouth onto yours.

He holds your head softly, a deep contrast to the way his lips melt over yours. A moan slips from your open mouth, the feel of his lips sucking at your bottom lip feels immensely intense and so, so good.

Your arms wrap around his neck, fingertips tangling themselves in the hair at his nape like you’ve wanted to do since the very day you met him.

“Logan—“ you whimper against his mouth, trying and failing to understand what the fuck was happening as he slips his tongue inside your wet, warm mouth. “Logan.”

He ignores you, grunting against your spit, slick lips as his hands travel down your curves, until they find purchase on your ass, gripping hard. A choked gasp spills from you as he suddenly paws at you, picking you up effortlessly in his strong arms.

The idea of him holding you up with no hesitation has your hips shuddering forward without your permission. Vaguely, you feel him move past the threshold of your door, slamming it shut before pressing your body up against the wood.

Logan switches between licking your tongue and sucking meanly at your lips, until they feel full and swollen with his attention. You’re pliant— almost willing to let him do anything he’d like to you.

Almost.

As good as his tongue feels dancing with yours, confusion still settles over your mind. Perhaps this was a dream and if that’s the case, you never want to wake up.

“Wait—wait.” You pull back, the questions swirling inside probing you until it’s impossible to ignore.

“Huh, baby?” Logan groans, teeth pulling at your bottom lip before sucking at the swollen skin.

Babybabybabybabybaby— the pet name clouds your senses for a second, a rush of arousal pooling at your hole. You want to cry at how that simple, simple word makes you feel.

“Stop that.” You mumble, pulling your head back and lips out of his reach.

Logan stares at you, silent but waiting as he waits for you say whatever is on your mind. Frankly, he wants his tongue to be buried deep in your cunt right about now, but, details.

“What is going on?” Breathless, the question settles between you, causing Logan’s brow to raise.

“Well, my tongue was just in your mouth—“ you slap his chest, face turning warm at his bluntness.

“Not that. I’m— why are you here? Why are you kissing me when you can’t stand me?” Your voice is quiet, insecurity present in your tone. Nimble fingers grasp the dog tags that rest on his chest, and you’ve never been grateful for it.

At that, Logan’s face scrunches up, confusion floating around his irises, lips curving downward.

“What are you talking about?” If it wasn’t for the genuineness in his voice, you would’ve smacked his chest again at how clueless he was.

“What do you mean? You’ve made it very clear how you feel about me; you’ve despised my entire existence the moment we met— wait, I can’t even say that because you didn’t even have the decency to greet me!”

Frustration hovers over you heavily, enough to snap you out of the lustful spell Logan often inflicts upon you. You slide down his body, ignoring the quiver of your cunt when you make contact with his jean clad bulge. You push at his chest, needing distance to ensure you actually get your words out and don’t end up back with his tongue down your throat.

“I don’t hate you.” Logan grunts out, staring at you as you pace the wooden floors of the room. Vaguely, he’s paying attention, but he can’t be blamed for the way his eyes focus on the way your ass shifts with each step, the plush skin so inviting as the lace cup each cheek. “What’re you on about?”

Frankly, Logan’s pissing you off. The vague answers are getting on your nerves, enough that you feel yourself snap.

Your hair swiftly turns bright red, a scarlet blossoming over the strands until they coat them completely. Your emotions could never quite be concealed, not with the way your hair would turn different variations of red when you were angry, furious, sad, happy, aroused.

“You’ve been a dick to me, treating me like shit for no reason and now you think you can just waltz in here and kiss me like that? You think you can pretend to want me when we both know that’s not true?”

Balls of fiery, red energy bloom at your fingertips, and though you stand in your pretty pink assortment, you look the part of threatening.

It’s too bad the abrupt display of your mutation, mixed with fiery words, has Logan’s cock jerking with want.

“Sometimes, I question whether or not you’re actually a genius.”

And just like that, you feel the words like a punch to the gut. You’re so mad, so blind by the intense emotions you feel for Logan, that you feel those pesky flames of energy moving up your wrist and forearm, a telltale sign of your anger.

“Fuck you, Logan.” You hiss, your fingers hot with the heat coursing through them.

What pisses you off more, to which your hair and eyes darken to a dangerous maroon, is the fact that Logan wears a faint smirk, watching you with humor as if you aren’t showcasing how pissed you are.

“Are you done yet?” Logan takes a step closer, uncaring of the way your mutation flares furiously at his presence.

“Logan, leave me alone. I don’t need you to sit here and pretend to want me. I don’t need you to make fun of me, either.” Huffing, you glare up at the man before you, who stares back just as pointedly.

You turn around, back facing him as you go to enter the attached bathroom when all at once, you’re spun back around by a hand on your nape, your neck in a delicious tight grip as Logan pulls you into his body, smashing his mouth on yours for the second time tonight.

Your body betrays you, a desperate whimper ebbs out at how fucking good Logan’s lips feel on yours.

His teeth bite down on your top lip, before suckling sweetly to combat the pain flourishing there. You moan, mouth falling open as he messily kisses you. The intoxicating taste of him swarms your tastebuds, his tongue swirling with yours in a way that leaves you dizzy with need.

A string of spit connects between your mouths as Logan pulls away, chuckling meanly when you promptly follow the warm wetness of his lips. A rough hand grips your throat again, tight enough to leave you feeling breathless but delicious enough to make your cunt squeeze around nothing.

“So that’s what you think, princess? That I don’t want you?” Logan’s fingers flex around your throat, gripping at your jaw to capture all of your attention. As if you were anything but than enamored with him. “You think that’s what I’ve been doing, huh?”

You can only stare up at him as your heartbeat rings loudly through your eardrums. A hand goes to tug at his shirt, an attempt to steady yourself, but Logan’s faster as he grabs your wrist.

“Answer me.” He whispers hotly as the hand holding yours captive moves to intertwine your fingers.

The touch of him, the hold on your throat and roughness of his fingers in yours, renders you speechless. You’re so overcome with your emotions that you can only manage to nod. The weight of you goes limp in his hold, silently begging him to do something to satiate the hunger burning every inch of you.

“Words, baby. Got nothing to say now, huh?” He taunts, his grip leaving your neck in favor of thumbing at your lips.

“Yes— I, it’s what it’s seemed like, what you’ve made me feel. Thought you hated me.”

Logan’s nose twitches, no doubt smelling your arousal as it leaks into the material covering you, ruining the lace.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” He groans, pushing his thumb past the soft of your lips. His knees nearly buckle at the feel of your mouth closing and sucking his thumb, tongue rolling up against the skin as though it was his cock instead. “Shit, baby.”

You whine around his finger, eyes fluttering up at him in a way that has his dick aching for you.

“Fuck, been dreaming about you since the day we met. Been dreaming of you in every way possible.” He admits, a smile tugging at his lips at the way you freeze, lips leaving his thumb with a ‘pop’.

“What?” It’s a whisper, barely audible but he heard it all the same. The butterflies in your stomach are now having a complete rager, bolts of anxiousness kissing your skin.

“Of course.” Logan leanes down, pressing a kiss to your wet lips. “Knew the second I saw you you’d ruin me, so I just… stayed away. I never meant to make you think the worst. M’sorry, honey.”

This was not the way you’d expected tonight to go.

It’s as though all the confusion, anger, and sadness drain from you and, in its place,its full of the tremulous feeling of the admission.

And despite the fact that you’d fucked yourself thinking about him, and he’d heard, you feel incredibly shy. You drop your head to his hard chest, your hands squeezing his own where he holds them.

“I don’t know what to say.” You utter, brain all muddled and no other thoughts come forth as Logan haunts every inch of your mind. You feel like an idiot, even though Logan had acted like a dick for the better part you’d known him.

Logan simply lifts your head, invading your senses as his nose bumps yours.

“You were a dick.” It’s spoken factually, making him huff against your face.

“I know.”

“You could’ve kissed me months ago.”

“Can I kiss you now?”

His quick reply leaves you flushing, but when you nod, his lips are back on yours instantly, in their rightful place.

The kiss is messy; hot, wet, and dirty. Logan groans when you jump up, strong arms catching your thighs in a tight grip. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lose yourself in the thrilling taste of his mouth. You unconsciously start humping him, dragging your drenched panties across his hard dick.

You suck on his tongue before capturing his lip between your teeth, nails dragging down his shoulder blades. A loud, feral growl escapes Logan, and without another thought, he throws your pliant body on the bed.

And at the sight of you, Logan feels like he’s about to come right then and there. In your skimpy outfit, so much plush, soft skin is on display. The hair tumbling from your shoulders has turned a dark cherry color during your kiss, and your hands are tickled with red energy that’s twirling up your arms, not unlike the way vines thread onto an old home.

This time, though, he knows you’re not upset, but instead, aroused.

He can smell the way your slick seeps from your fluttering hole, how it sticks to the skin of your thighs.

And fuck, he wants to sink his face right in front of your pussy and inhale until he’s woozy with the complete perfume of you.

So, that’s exactly what he does.

Your eyes widen as Logan drops onto the floor in front of the bed, yanking your body to the edge. Your lower half is completely in his grip, and he stares at you for a moment, eyes hazy with lust. Then, he’s pulling your pussy all the way up to his nose. The feel of him so close to your puffy lips has you clenching, even more so when he lowers his head and fucking sniffs you.

“Fuck, baby. Been dreaming of this since the minute I saw you. Smells so fuckin’ sweet.” Logan inhales deeply again, smattering messy, open mouthed kisses to the skin of your upper thigh. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to throw you over my shoulder, get you alone and eat this pussy.”

“Logan!” You whimper out. The sound is completely feeble but you couldn’t care less, not with the way he’s sucking bruises into your skin. “Please, please.”

Spurred on by your whines, he sinks his canines into the skin, where your thigh meets the lips of your core.

Pain simmers into pleasure as the sting is followed by his tongue. Rosy splotches decorate your upper thighs, a preview of the bruises that will glaze the skin tomorrow. Logan does this until he’s satisfied with how his teeth imprint the skin. It’s as if it’s his way of solidifying that you’re his, like he’s staking his claim with his bruises smattering your thighs.

At some point your hand finds purchase in his hair, pawing at the tufts and tugging his face closer to where you need him most. He groans, the pain at his scalp sending jolts of desire throughout his body.

He sneaks a look up at you, and shit, you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Your head is thrown back, sending those rebellious, red strands fluttering around you. Your hips are canting up to his mouth, and the smell of you, mixed with the previous orgasm you’d worked out before he interrupted, sends his senses in overdrive.

He knows he’d tortured you both enough when you can’t stop shivering with need, when his own hips brush against the edge of the bed. Without hesitation, Logan licks a long, wet stripe up your clothed pussy, suctioning around your enlarged clit.

The taste of you, heady, sweet, and so distinctly you, floods his tongue. He knew you’d taste good, but this? Oh, he wanted to drink you up all hours of the day.

With a growl, Logan tuggs the lace aside and loses it. He sucks, licks, and mouthed at your cunt like a man starved. His tongue dips into your hole before licking up and down your slit.

Moans of his name sound around the walls of your room, along with the filthy noise of his lips sucking your swollen button.

You’ve never felt like this before; the way he’s eating you out has your entire body on fire, and if you could see yourself, you’d see how ruby colored lines swirl all around your hands, how your hair practically glows with the intensity of your feelings.

He’d been attracted to you the minute he saw you— but the way you look when your mutation is at work? The way your hair grows shades of intoxicating reds and the way the fiery energy glows from the tips of your fingers to your elbows? Oh, how it fucking wrecks him. He just wants to keep you captive in this bedroom for all of eternity, if only to see you like this all the time.

“Feels so fucking good, fuck.” You’re a blubbering mess, hands tugging Logan’s hair hard, resulting in a moan that vibrates your pussy.

“Mine.” He grunts, and you gasp at the sensation of saliva as he spits directly onto your clit. “My fuckin’ pussy.”

Then, he latches his soft lips around your puffy bud and sucks hard. His dirty words and lucious mouth have your thighs shivering, hips bucking with insatiable need.

Like you’d done when you were alone and thinking about him, whimpers of ‘Logan’ slip past bitten lips as you rut against his face.

“That’s it, baby, say my name. Taste so fuckin’ good.” He humms against the slick, swell of your pussy.

A stream of ‘fuckfuckfuck’ is audible from open lips, forming an ‘o’ as the rush of delicious, hot pleasure pours over you completely.

As you come down, the pleasure fizzles out and overwhelming bursts of overstimulation bubble over you. Logan continues to lap at your wetness, groaning at your taste.

“S’too much, Logan.” Shaky hands grip his brown locks and you try and fail to bring the man away from your throbbing hole. His tongue laps at the taste of you, dipping in as deep as he could to savor every last drop. “Oh, fuck.”

“Taste too fuckin’ sweet, baby. Can’t help it.”

Logan grips tightly at your thighs, cruelly pinching at the flesh as he devours your pretty clit.

He can’t get enough, and seemingly, neither can you, with the way you buck into his warm, slick mouth despite the crushing pleasure. The material of your underwear snaps against you as Logan’s grip loosens, but he still eats you out as though there was no barrier.

His soft lips and dangerous tongue make it difficult to do anything but take the mind-numbing pleasure.

He’s content to stay here; between your gorgeous thighs and ravage your cunt all night, pull orgasms from you until you forget everything except the syllables that make up his name.

Except, the words that come from you have him still against you, his cock jerking and responding immediately to the addictive tilt of your voice.

“Logan— Logan, wanna suck your cock. Please.”

It was as though you were made for him— every inch of you riles him up like no one else has before and he has to take a deep, deep breath to refrain from coming in his jeans like a damn virgin.

With one last lick up your lace covered cunt, his face is suddenly above yours, the sight is lethal. The entirety of his lower face wears your wetness with pride, glistening and gleaming in the lowlight of the room. His eyes look animalistic, the hazel taken over by the black of dilated pupils.

Logan looks at you like he wants to fucking destroy you. You know without a doubt you’d let him.

A sweet kiss is pressed against your lips, a warm caress of his tongue on yours, the musky taste of your pussy causing you to part your thighs further. You whine once more, because you crave the heady taste of his cock; your mouth salivates at the thought of his tip heavy on your tongue.

“Easy, honey. Can smell how bad you want it.”

If you were less intoxicated by lust, you’d be mortified at the knowledge Logan can smell your arousal right now.

“Logan.” Pathetic whimpers and moans against his mouth have him pulling back, gritting his teeth to force himself to get a grip. It doesn’t work, not with the way you’re spread out below him, face pretty with a tiny that vaguely mimics the hue of your top and panties.”Please.”

How is he meant to last when you sound like that? All fucked out from just his tongue alone?

“C’mere’.” Logan mutters, tugging your body all the way up his chest, maneuvering you until your pussy is hovering above his mouth, facing his cock.

Completely fucked out, saliva pools in your mouth at the sight of his bulge, massive even in the confines of jeans.

You’re confused as to why Logan has put you on his chest, but it makes sense when he pulls your thighs down, mouth finding your wet, sopping sex once more.

You cry out, hips jolting at the way his tongue push the fabric away from your puffiness, immediately wrapping around your clit. At the way you were shaking on his face, unmoving besides the subtle thrusts of hips, he stops.

“Lo—“

“Go on then, baby. Suck my cock, just like you wanted.”

And oh, you both feel the slick that follows after those rasped words fill the air.

Only once you undo that damn belt buckle and pull both his jeans and boxers down, just enough to see the way his cock bounced out, wet at the red, swollen tip, does Logan resume licking up your pussy.

Fueled by the return of those talented lips, you lean forward without another thought.

Licking from base to tip, a moan vibrates against his cock as you hum, a taste so distinctly Logan making you feel light and warm. You lick up and down him sloppy, spitting on the tip of him as you slick his dick up, before finally wrapping your lips around him.

“Fuck.” His growl is borderning on feral; his teeth finding purchase on your asscheek and biting, an attempt to ground himself. It only serves to have his hips jump at the feel of you whining on him, sucking him down so fucking good. “Fuck, knew you’d be good with that pretty fuckin’ mouth.”

He’s so focused on the way you’ve started bobbing up and down the length of him, overcome with euphoria at the warmth and wetness as you suck and swirl your tongue, that he’s stopped his attention to your pussy, something he’s only reminded of as you wiggle impatiently over him.

“Sorry, princess, you’re driving me fuckin’ crazy.” He grits out, fingers gripping the flesh of your thighs at the little ‘hmph!’ you let out, pulling off his cock.

Though he can’t see you, he knows there’s a string of spit that spans from your swollen lips to his pulsating cock. He shutters, overwhelmed by you entirely, before burying his face into your weepy cunt.

”Oh! Logan, feels so good!” With a pathetic little whimper, his cock fills your mouth again as you sink down, satisfied with the way his tongue is licking at you.

A blend of moans sound as he wraps his lips around your puffed clit, as you ease his cock into your throat.

Logan’s eating you out in a frenzy, crazed by the tang of you soaking his mouth, chin, and nose. Despite the warmth bubbling in his stomach, he’s determined to make you come on his tongue again.

When thick fingers nudge into your hole unexpectedly, you mewl at the blissful feeling.

Logan’s fingers work steadily inside you in tandem with the way his mouth suckles divinely at your button. You’re an absolute mess— grinding down on his face, riding his digits, gagging as Logan’s hips match the pace of his fingers, grunts vibrating against you as he fucks your throat.

Logan curls his fingers in a way that has you seeing every fucking color of the rainbow. You come, moaning around the base of his cock and rocking back and forth on his fingers and mouth, muffled sobs spilling from your stuffed mouth.

When he feels you shivering on his tongue, overstimulated and sensitive, he pulls away from your center, the soaked fabric of your panties falling back into place once more.

Your mouth is still full of him, lips lazily sucking him down as your body tries to get ahold of the white hot pleasure still coursing through you.

“C’mere, baby.”

It’s a soft whisper against your thigh, but it settles over you, his soothing voice swirling around your shaky body like a warm blanket. Letting his cock fall from your lips, you scramble as fast as your body allows before you find yourself straddling Logan, staring down at the man with cloudy, wet eyes.

And maybe Logan is sick— because the sight of tears spilling over your cheeks has his cock unbelievably hard, a growl threatening to tumble out at the way your pretty, crimson hair spills over your shoulders.

Still, he wants to make sure you’re okay.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Logan watches at the way a small smile graces your features, even as tears continue to glisten your lash line. “You okay?”

“Nothing's wrong, just feel so good.” Your voice is a little hoarse, no doubt from the way his dick was fucking your whiny mouth. Your voice is still the sweetest thing he’s ever heard, those few words going straight to his dick.

Logan feels his own lips tug upwards as you speak. Even though he’s fucked you silly and stolen two orgasms, he tenses with desire as he notes the want dancing in your irises.

“Good.”

“Mhmm.”

There’s a beat of silence, a moment where hungry eyes lock in on one another, sensual energy threatening to burst.

Then, in a flash, lips are locked and tongues whirl together familiarly. It’s a hot, lewd kiss filled to the brim with desire— the passion almost too much with how it lights up every inch of your bodies, a fire threatening to spread.

Neither of you are sure who moved first— but it doesn’t matter because the way Logan’s hand wraps around your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail in a tight grip, steals your attention.

If someone were to see the two of you, they would see how desperate and needy you both were.

You’re kissing Logan’s top lip, biting before soothing the sting with a sweet, soft suck. Your thighs are spread over his own entirely and your position has your cunt settling over his cock nicely. Logan’s free hand grips the skin of your ass tight, guiding as you grind against him, the soaked panties catching on the tip of him with each thrust. The fingers tangled in your hair are unforgiving, tugging harshly as Logan grunts into your open mouth.

You’re both a mess of passion and lust— and your body thrums with the idea of his cock inside you.

“Such a good girl, that’s it. Fuck—“ Logan nearly whines, the feel of your wetness on his bulge has him trapping your lips in another all consuming kiss.

Your hands, lit up with energy, find purchase in his pretty hair, yanking as he kisses you vulgar, because everything is somehow too much and not enough.

“Logan— need you. Need you so bad, baby.”

Logan wants to eat you up entirely— somehow you’re still not satiated, rubbing your slick all over his lap and begging him for more. If he was a better man, he would’ve fucked you already. As it is, he likes it a little too much hearing you beg for him.

“Shhh, you got me, honey. I’m right here.”

“Fuck me, please. Need you inside, Logan.”

There’s tears in your eyes again, ready to spill over if the ache between your thighs isn’t soothed in the next five minutes. You’re clinging to him, hips stuttering because it’s just not enough and you both know it.

“My poor baby.” He sighs, the words somehow a mix of condescending and genuine and it makes you cry out. “So needy, huh?”

“Just for you.” The way you say it, it’s a message you both understand— you need him in every way possible, not just sexually.

He wonders if you know just how badly he needs you, especially now that he’s got a taste of you.

“I’m yours—“ you start, but it’s cut off by the squeak you emit when you’re suddenly flipped over, Logan’s muscular form hovering over you, his dog tags swinging between you.

“You’re mine.” It’s not a question, but a statement and it sends a thrill over you.

“Yours.” You’re nodding, eyes wide and so fucking pretty that it makes Logan squeeze his hands, the metal of his claws threatening to break through the skin.

He pulls his shirt off then, pride filling his chest at the way your eyes glaze over, a lip taken between your teeth as you stare at the vein that leads to his cock, which is pulsing with the promise of release.

He doesn’t comment on your lustful eyes, instead tracing his fingers down your body, until he reaches the hem of your baby pink lace. It doesn’t leave much to the imagination but Logan might break something if he doesn’t see your tits in all their glory.

You get the message, leaning up and slowly pulling the fabric from your chest, your breasts and midsection on full display. If he hadn’t already eaten you out twice, you would’ve moved to cover your taut nipples. Instead, you grip the chain of his necklace and pull him back down with you, sighing when you’re chest to chest.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” He says, pecking your lips once, licking a stripe down your throat. Wetness coats both nipples as his tongue swirls over them. “Do you know how badly I’ve wanted to have you under me?”

You moan, nails digging into his shoulder blades at the fluttery feeling his lips bring, deep enough to elicit blood from his skin. Logan groans, head tipping back as his hips thrust down suddenly, the tip of his cock ramming into your clit.

“Fuck, Logan.” Your hands span the expanse of his back, scratching each time he bumps your button just right. His jeans are still on, resting just below his thighs and something about the way he couldn’t even get up to properly take them off makes you shudder.

He’s rutting against you now, dick rubbing filthy over your panties and it dawns on you then that he hasn’t come yet, too preoccupied with taking care of you.

Determined, you slide one hand onto his asscheek, pushing him further into you, while your other grips his chin, pulling his mouth to yours in a slick, open-mouth kiss.

“C’mon Logan, fuck me, please.”

Logan turns into something animalistic then— flipping you over without warning, caging you between his arms. Your gasp is audible as he yanks your wet lace to the side, before thrusting forward, and fucks his cock into you with one thrust.

“Oh my god, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me—“ the feel of Logan finally inside you had you absolutely fucking drunk on the feel of him.

“Tryin’ to, baby.” He grits, arms flexing beside your head, fingers intertwining with yours as he sinks into you, inch by inch, until you were filled to the brim.

Logan’s body covers yours, lips pressing all over your shoulder blades to soothe the little whines you let out at how fucking full you felt. It’s everything you want and more— you want to memorize the feel of him, every ridge and vein as he bottoms out.

“Baby,” he grunts, fingers flexing with yours as he stays still, for your sake. “So fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ wet.”

And it was true— despite the fact that he’s huge, he slipped in easily because of the mess you created, a slick mix of your come and desire that seeps from you.

“Logan, fuck me, please.” You ask so sweetly, as if you weren’t impaled by his cock right now.

With that, he slips out of you slowly, before fucking into you hard, deep. Then, he fucking ravishes you— creating a steady, fast paced rhythm and fucking you dumb with his cock.

You’re a whiny mess. Your hair grows darker, hands glittering between his grip each time he slams into you, each time your cunt squeezes around him.

Completely cock drunk, your back arches, ass up and hips slamming back against his with your cheek pressing into the mattress as you sob.

You’re so fucking needy that his own thighs are wet with your desire— he growls at the sight, fucking you even faster.

“You’re mine. Have been since you came here.” Logan growled, releasing your fingers in favor of gripping your hair and pulling you up until you were pressed into his chest. “My fuckin’ girl.”

“Yours!” You cry, tears rolling down your face. Your entire body jolts with pleasure, and you feel like you couldn’t breathe, not with how euphoria threatens to smother you. “M’so close!”

“I know, honey, I know. Can feel you fuckin’ squeezin’ around me.“ Logan moans out, pushing you back down into the mattress and finding purchase on your hips, pulling you back hard. “Gonna come all over me?”

You don’t answer, instead crying out as you feel a sharp flash of pain on your asscheek, Logan’s hand swift and quick. The pain mixes into pleasure when he rubs at the red skin, pressing sweet kisses on your back.

He wishes you could see yourself right now; maybe then you would understand why he was so intoxicated by you.

Your pretty body is bent over, ass up and face in the sheets as whimpers seep out. The lace that drove him crazy is yanked to the side, grazing his cock each time he drove deeper inside you. You’re so beautiful like this, he wants to keep you forever.

Sweet, little ‘uh,uh’s’ fill Logan’s ears as he speeds up, pulling you back up once more against his chest. He wants to be as close as fucking possible, the feel of your skin on his almost searing.

You turn your head back, lips seeking out his own. He kisses you, sucking at your lips as he continues to fuck you vigorously.

The fluttery feeling of your cunt squeezing around him suddenly sends him over the edge— low groans falling in your open mouth as hot, searing spurts of come coat your walls.

Knowing that Logan had lost it, finally giving into the temptation like you’d been doing all night, has you whining as your own orgasm surrounds your entire being.

“Baby—“ Logan thrusts shallowly, riding your orgasms out as long as he could; if he could, he’d never leave this feeling behind. Seemingly, you agreed as your nails dig into his forearms that hold you up, eyes squeezing shut at the overpowering bliss tingling everywhere. “I got you, it’s okay.”

“Logan, fuck!” It comes out as a huff, head against his sweaty neck, body completely limp in his hold.

You’d never been so incredibly sex-dazed in your life. From this moment onward, Logan has ruined you for anyone else.

Though, you hope there isn’t anyone else.

Logan kisses your head before untangling from you; a smirk dancing across his usually gruff features at the little whine let out as he pulls out. He gently rolls you onto your back, laying your head tenderly on the pillows. It was such a stark difference to the rough way he’d fucked you minutes prior, but butterflies flutter around your stomach all the same.

You watch his eyes trail lower, landing on the mess between your thighs.

Logan is mesmerized by the sight; your pussy is destroyed , so wet with his come seeping out of your hole. Mindlessly, he lowers himself until heieye level with your sex. Sans any warning, his fingers are thrusted back inside.

He ignores your hiss in favor of trying to push his come back inside, to keep you full of him. His eyes meet yours, watching as your chest rises as you observe him. There’s a glint in your eye that has his heart stuttering.

“I want to kiss you.” You whisper, soft and a little bashful, as if he didn’t have his fingers inside you. You look too fucking perfect, hair returning to its original color, eyes cloudy with unspoken words, a smile gracing your face.

How could he deny you when you looked like that?

Logan kisses your clit once, enjoying the way you jump before removing his fingers.

With those same digits, he sticks them in his mouth, sucking the flavor of you both and humming. He could hear the way your heart picked up at his actions. He releases them with a loud ‘pop’, before finally coming back to you.

He hovers over you, and like you’d done earlier, soft hands pull at the chain until his lips melt with yours in a soft kiss. Logan pulls back, resting his head on yours, eyes connecting with yours.

“Hi.” You giggle then, nose bumping his in the proximity.

“Hi, baby.” Logan kisses your lips once more, before rolling beside you. You would’ve whined at him if it weren’t for the way he immediately pulls you onto his chest.

With your limbs tangled, a kiss pressed to your forehead, you think this could be heaven and if so, you never wanted to leave.

It was quiet for a moment— the two of you content to listen to one another’s heartbeat, the breaths that fall from lips. Then, you break the silence, because of course you do.

“Logan?”

“Hmm?”

“Just so you know, I’m expecting you to take me out before you get me like this again.” You mutter against his slick chest, where your head rests as you wrap yourself around the man like a koala.

A deep laugh fills the room, chest rumbling because what the fuck?

He’s fucked you, with his mouth and cock, and now you’re laying on him as his come seeps out of you and you’re demanding him to take you out?

He was going to in the first place, but he thinks it’s cute you decided for him.

Logan may be a man that’s been alive for almost two centuries, practically immortal, but it’s completely possible you’ll be the death of him.

˚｡⋆⟡♡⟡⋆｡˚ fin

tags: @strangererotica @cevansbaby-dove @morganyourone @asiancupid

[plaidos]

Sorry if this is going too far with turning your inbox into the children's cartoon complaint zone, but the stuff about Grenda in Gravity falls got me thinking.

I was a teenager when Gravity Falls was coming out, and it remains one of my favorite cartoons, but rewatching it recently made me uncomfortably aware of just how much mean-spirited and offensive comedy there is throughout. Grenda as a "comic relief" character is a huge one of course, but there's just a LOT of deriving comedy from people's bodies and appearances. Plus just straightforward man-in-a-dress jokes...

There's also the fact that Alex Hirsch seems to think AAVE (or like "slang" created to be a comically heightened imitation of AAVE) is the most hilarious thing ever, but also makes sure it's always coming from on-screen white characters, as if that unproblematizes the way it's mocked? It's a CONSTANT recurring thread throughout the series.

I ended up falling off a recent rewatch for a while after hitting the episode "Soos and the Real Girl." It really hit me there with the exact way they were characterizing Soos's social incompetence and "childish" interests, oh, he's straight up supposed to be autistic. He explicitly gets obsessed with the dating sim because he likes how social interactions have predictable rules in it, unlike real life. It's hammered home *multiple* times that one of his big stated social deficiencies is an inability to make eye contact, etc. Come the fuck on. And that's fine in a vacuum, the episode ends with everyone realizing he didn't need to change himself because he could still have value as a person as long as his awkwardness was charming to a quirky chubby woman.

But all the jokes in the episode are still about how funny it is that he's socially unaware and makes other people uncomfortable or frightened. And worse, it recontextualizes the way he's used as a joke throughout the rest of the series, the way he's portrayed as stupid, as a man-child, as being abused and taken advantage of by his employer while he's oblivious to it. It's just so gross. And that's not even getting into how he's also fat and Hispanic, and he's not just mocked but *dehumanized* for comedy CONSTANTLY.

Plus that episode throws in one of the show's transphobic jokes for good measure. Isn't it so funny that you can't tell if this person in alternative fashion is a man or a woman? Isn't it funny that Soos is so autistic-- I mean socially inept-- that he openly, in public, to their face, speculates on their gender? Not like for trans people that's a nightmare scenario that carries an implicit threat of violence or anything...

And all this is absolutely not to suggest that Gravity Falls is a uniquely harmful piece of media. I know for certain if you pick any network sitcom at random, before or even since Gravity Falls, you'd find way worse examples of all of this. But it's just a bummer to now be a grown-ass fat, autistic, trans woman who can recognize some of this stuff, and realize that even the media that's most special to me thinks it's funny to be hostile to people like me, that it's not really made for me. And to recognize that it's even worse for people who are marginalized in ways that I'm not.

Anon I’m in love with you — it’s like you went down a checklist in my brain of every complaint i’ve ever had about this show. i completely, completely agree with every note here — the jokes about AAVE specifically stood out to me, especially since there’s been at least one occasion where Hirsch went on a twitter rant about how (xyz aave) is the worst, stupidest thing to ever happen to the English language (meanwhile he thinks combining the words “Bill” and “Dipper” is funny enough to include as a joke despite it being just literally putting two names together. wooow how clever and funny white people are, thank god this caucasian braingenius is protecting the sanctity of the english language from black people who make up bad new words)

also dude can’t go five seconds without putting a white person in a “cowboys and indians” style native american costume. Hirsch has a fucking major problem with the way he treats his hispanic characters & how he portrays native american mythology & culture as basically this funny stupid thing to be used as set dressing for white people.

it feels a lot like he watched The Simpsons’ (sometimes effective, sometimes ineffective) satire on racism, bigotry, and the conservative tendencies in archetypical american towns and understood that it was funny but didn’t get why and just limply recreated the jokes without the structure for it to be a satire. not that the Simpsons doesn’t fall into these same problems with racism & body shaming, but i feel like they at least have a veneer of it being “isn’t it stupid how people like Homer think like this?” rather than just “haha different culture talk funny”

and the problem is, it sucks that it’s like this because it’s so good. it feels like every time i recommend it i have to be like “a lot of the jokes have aged like milk but it’s worth it”. like i love Gravity Falls. which is why it’s important to criticise it for its flaws.

[dilf-docs]

Le Pedí Al Mar Y Al Sol Que Te Trajera

pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: vacations are supposed to be fun! and with a hot older famous boyfriend? now we're really talking.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (yum), pwp, p. in v., fingering, pussy spanking (ooc i'm sorry i just want a man to do this to me), creampie, virgin!reader (sorry if this is kinda unrealistic for a first as i two i'm a virgin; in the curb we all fam), aftercare, spanglish ofc!!!

word count: 2,865 words

side note: so, i modified the request a bit bc idk pedro's friends like that (i just know omar apollo can tower over me wait what). check the og request here. reqs still open as we enter 2025! happy new year, dilf town citizens: pushed this drabble last minute as a lil' gift for you before the year ends! :) thank u sm for being part of it, my journey on tumblr is just getting started!!!!!!!!!!

Hace tiempo que quería yo sentir esto que siento.

They say dating a star and having to share him with everybody else is the hardest part, but to you, it's having both of your vacations occur simultaneously.

Finally, after months of shooting so many projects for the next year, your boyfriend is free.

Vacations are fun! They're supposed to be relaxing, especially after leading such a busy life as yours: juggling between work, studies and a relationship with world-renowned actor, Pedro Pascal. Yet, you can't help but feel nervous, fiddling with the loose strands of your skirt.

Pedro wants you to go alone, which means just the both of you: a little escape before Christmas Eve, as he and his friends have already planned their holiday together.

Doesn't matter how many times you tried to excuse yourself, he was determined to make you go with him. Besides, let's get real: it's not like you can say no to him. So now here he is, both of your passports in hand as you both are ready to board your plane to Mexico, where the rest of his friends will meet you a week later. Yes, more nerves to add on the schedule.

"If you don't quit that shaking of yours, I'll extend our vacation two more weeks" Pedro threatens once you're seated, but it's devoid of any malice. He's a bit far from you (he also insisted on the VIP flying part; you're just fine flying tourist, but can understand why he isn't), so you can't count on his touch to comfort you. "Didn't know you were afraid of planes"

You sigh, "I'm not"

"Ay, cariño. Are you afraid of me then?"

"No" you laugh nervously. You are, but not for the reasons he thinks.

It's the very first time the two of you will be fully alone. For obvious reasons, a whole week at the beach is much more intimate than just the dates you've been in. But here you are, already seeing the sand and water beneath you.

"Like what you see?" he jokes.

"Yeah" you look back at him, sincerity washing over the expression on your face. "I do"

If there is one thing you're sure of, is your love for Pedro. You'll just have to wait and see how this goes.

As of now, everything has gone well: sun, water, diving and lots of new photos and videos on your camera roll. You've gone swimming and danced on the bar of the hotel you're staying, some extra drinks on your system. You've also sunbathed under the same sun you've watched go down, in the most beautiful sunsets you've ever seen in your life.

But here comes the hardest part: the night. Sharing a bed isn't hard: it's something that's happened before, one time even staying in his house for two days, all because he insisted.

This time is different: the way his gaze lingers over your bare legs, the same way he's looked at them when the droplets of water slide down them. The way he licks his lips, like he's starving and the most deliciously tempting meal stands before him. Mantaining eye contact like it's some kind of dare, just as he's done since you've landed, using it to disarm you little by little.

You don't think you can't take it anymore.

You lay down on the bed, and he leaves the book he's reading on the night table next to him, all his attention directed towards you. Yeah, you're afraid, he can sense, but apparently not that afraid to wear a dainty nightwear that gives a delicious peek of your breasts.

"Something you want to say?" you ask, almost daringly so.

"Say no" voice low, barely a whisper that could come across a breeze of wind entering through the open window as it stirs the courtains. "Want, yes"

You gulp. "What do you want, then?"

Shouldn't taken the bait.

"You" comes quick, like it's the easiest answer there ever is.

The rest of his answer comes in the form of hungry lips capturing yours, devouring them in a clash of desire against your own, even struggling to breath due to the animalistic borderline savage way Pedro's eating you out, his tongue battling inside your mouth while trying to explore every corner just to taste all of you on his palate.

"Pedro" you moan his name out when he bites your lip with a bit too much force, metallic filling your taste buds. It's all so hot, and you're too turned on to think.

His roaming hands itch to touch every available spot of soft skin your body offers, tracing first through your collarbones, and then leaving the task for his lips to complete. There goes a trail of kisses that go down your neck, teeth nibbling the sensitive skin until it turns red. You whine against his hold, big hands keeping you under him, back pushed against the soft mattress and silk sheets.

You gasp for air, lost in the fire, when suddenly his forgotten hands touch you down there.

"Wait!" you shout, mentally slapping yourself.

"¿Qué pasó?" he exclaims, scared. "Did I hurt you?"

"N-no" you're quick to deny, voice wavering as you seat up on the bed. Your cheeks soon flush, as there's regret when you say. "I'm sorry"

"Sorry for what?" he tenderly cups your cheek. "Just tell me what happened"

"What happened is, I fucked up the vibe. I'm sorry, P. Didn't mean to stop you like that"

"¿No te estaba gustando, cariño?" he's questioning again.

"No" your answer is more firmly this time. His face morphs into a bit of hurt, and then you think your answer a bit more. "Ah, no. I mean, yes! I was liking it. I meant no as in no, it's not that why I stopped you"

"Then, why is it?" he grows a little impatient, but shows no such thing, rather focused on helping you out. "You know you can trust me, right?"

"I know" you smile sadly, insecurities washing over you like cold water.

"Then, tell me" he scoots closer, his perfume getting in your nostrils. Had he wore it again for this? God, what an evil little horny creature.

"I'm scared" you confess finally, the warmth of his receptiveness giving you a sense of security. His brown eyes soften, and you feel tears brim in the corner of your eyes.

"I know" he repeats your words, kissing you softheartedly, nothing compared to as before.

"No" you look directly at him, ready to take in every reaction his face will have. "I don't think you do"

"Amor, por favor-"

"I'm a virgin" you cut him off, panic rushing your answer.

"You are?" almost immediatly, giving no opportunity for silence to settle in.

You nod, slowly.

He sighs, sounding relieved. "And here I thought you didn't love me. Que te daba asco acostarte con un viejo como yo"

"No!" you deny hastily, then laugh. "Of course I love you, P. On the contrary, I was the one scared. Don't want to fuck it up on my first"

The energy changes again, as a flame sparks within your orbs. He looks surprised.

"Just because I said-" he cuts himself off. "Look, y/n, mi vida. I don't want to force you, yeah? I didn't know you hadn't- Listen, if you aren't ready, I'll understand"

"I am ready" clear and convinced, without a doubt.

His eyes circle between lust and love, "You want me to be your first, mmh baby?"

You nod, and he's back at the kissing and nibbling on your neck and collarbones.

"Please say it"

"I want you, Pedro. Quiero que seas mi primera vez"

Those sweet words of yours, an invitation not even the strongest man could deny.

"Let's start slow, yeah?" his fingers travel down to your panties under the nightwear, removing them and tossing them out of the bed, even with your pout. He kisses it off, wasting no time after to see your clit exposed. "Looking so sweet, angel. And needy" he gets closer, taking a better look at the wet mess that coats in between your thighs. He takes a whiff, intoxicated with the smell of your arousal dripping in waiting need. "Tell me if this is okay, yeah? I'll stop if it hurts"

Your breath hitches the moment his middle finger touches your puffy clit. Pedro runs his finger up and down, not adding much pressure to let you get used to it (kissing and eating each other out was all you had ever done). You whimper at the feeling as he repeats his action a few more times.

"Please, keep going" you plead, barely managing to not squirm at the overwhelming new sensations that shoot right through your cunt.

He begins to rub slow circles, making sure to add the right pressure onto your clit, then circling it, all while keeping eye contact, adoring the new expressions and sounds he's getting from you. You realize and shy away, embarrassed all of the sudden at the way he looks at you.

"Don't" he holds you by your chin with his free hand, "I want to know how you look when I please you"

You whimper, letting him do his own thing. He starts leaving sweet little kisses around your quivering pussy, enjoying the sight of your hole clenching at nothing.

"Think you can take more?" he asks, "want more?"

Two of his fingers dive straight in between your folds, coating them with your juices.

"Good girl" he praises when you only yelp, savouring the new feel of his digits inside of you. Then, he drags his fingers back to his mouth, tongue licking them clean. "Taste so sweet too"

"N-need more" you whine, desperate beneath him.

"Yeah?" This your first and you're already this greedy? I think I can get used to it" he laughs in adoration. "Let's try something better, yeah?"

Your body suddenly jolts, his big palm flat against your pussy. Pedro circles his whole palm across your cunt, middle finger pressing tightly onto it. You moan, back arching at the overstimulation.

He feels a little pervy, enjoying the way your tiny young body squirms beneath his caging body for of him. Nonetheless, he continues to rub you while you release more dirty sounds cascading out fo your filthy greedy lips. Your arousal keeps dripping like a broken pipeline, now smeared all over Pedro's palm, filling the room with slippery sounds.

"Mhm" you can't even speak, the exquisite combination of pain and pleasure reducing you to a moaning mess.

Pedro slaps your pussy twice, wet smacks bouncing off the walls.

"That's my girl" he then gently blows on your swollen bud, pressing a light kiss on it after. "Ready for it?"

It meaning his hard tent hidden under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it. He sees the hesitation in your eyes, but you're quick to dissmiss it.

"Are you sure you are ready?"

"Just do it" you demand, without knowing the consequences of your words, or the effect you have on him. Overall.

With needy fingers, you're fast to strip him out of it, admiring the size as much as you admire his now sculpted body. Jesus, you could build a cult out of it.

"Now" he cups your cheeks, fingers digging onto the skin, "I want you to look at me when I fuck you, yes? Don't dare to look away"

Pedro positions himself between your legs, aligning himself with your entrance. Then, he thrust inside you, filling you completely. You cry, trying to adjust to his size while your nails dig on his broad back, as he claims you, makes you his. Only his. Pedro'hi's hips snap forward with precision: every thrust is deliberate, each movement calculated to make your first as pleasurable as he can, despite the pain that's shown in your tears or the little drops of blood that fall onto the sheets.

"Shit" he pants, "tendremos que pagar por eso"

He grips your thighs, holding you steady as he pounds into you.

"Fuck, you feel so good" he moans, your tight untouched walls now stretching to adapt to his girth, "like you were made for me"

You cling to him, legs wrapping around his waist as he firmly holds you. Your vision goes foggy, mind numb at the burning and pleasing sensations. Despite that and lack of experience, you meet his every thrust, your bodies moving as one.

Your core contracts around him with every motion. "You fuck me so good" you mewl, music to his ears.

"I know, baby" he chuckles, "sólo lo mejor para mi princesa"

Fingers dig into your skin as he guides you with precision, right as he wants you to be. You feel the intensity of his deep inside of you with every movement, his hot laboured breath against your ear.

"Doing it so good" his voice is low, almost a growl, sending shivers down your spine. "Just for me"

"Just for you" you mindlessly pant out, the sensation of having all of him inside you, nothing separating the skin from skin, igniting a fire that spreads through your core. Your breasts bounce with each motion, Pedro's eyes never leaving yours, dark orbs locked onto your gaze as you urge him to go faster, drawing in a sharp breath as your body adjusts to the new rhythm he's providing, rapidly obeying.

The room is quiet except for the sound of your bodies clashing onto one another, flesh against flesh echoing softly.

"Your body is perfect, so wet, so tight for me" His words send a wave of pleasure crashing over you, making you moan loudly, your head falling back, "me tienes loco"

Pedro's weight grounds you as he begins to thrust deeply, each movement deliberate and unrelenting.

"Tell me you want this, us" the words catch you off guard. "Will you take all of me?"

"Yes" without a thought or doubt, answering as you whine and clutch at his shoulders with his more urgent thrusts. "All of you, always"

You notice his hips snapping forward, more energy as he pounts into you. "Good girl" praising you again, voice thick in arousal and rough, "so good for me"

Despite being your first, you can feel what would be your orgasm building, closer and closer until there is no holding it back.

"Pedro!" you scream his name, body collapsing around him as you come, stars reaching your closed eyelids.

His movements become more intense and sloppier, breathing ragged as he chases his own release.

"Espérame. Stay there for me"

You cling to him, legs wrapping tighter as he continues to pound into you. "Ya casi" his thrusts become erratic as he nears his climax, "almost there, baby"

You feel his body tensing as he comes inside you with a deep groan, seed spilling into you without wasting a drop.

"That's right" whispers against your sweet neck roughly, voice breaking as he collapses over you, trying to level his breathing. "Eres mía, only mine"

You're whimpering, body exhausted from the whole session you had.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired" you sigh, "but I don't think I can walk"

"We'll get you a wheelchair someway" he jokes.

"You think is funny? Ruining my holidays?"

He leans down to press a sweet kiss on your forehead. "Come on, we'll get you cleaned up" you mumble out a tired no, but Pedro's picking you up with his strong arms, taking your body to the bathroom. You wrap your legs instinctively around his waist, face hidden in the crook of his neck.

"You know what? Your fans were right: you do have a slutty little waist" you mock.

"Right" he blushes, embarrased as he takes you inside the bathroom, then placing you on top of the toilet. "Open up, baby" he grabs some tissues, trying to clean up the mess you've made between your legs. "Así, justo así, bebé" he parts your hair to the side lovingly, fixing it for you before pressing a kiss on the crown of your head. "Done, my pretty baby, look at you"

You hum, eyes threatening to close.

"I see you're not an after-sex talker. Come on, I'll take you back to bed" he picks you up again, your head leaning against Pedro's V line as he caresses your head. "Hope you don't mind the smell"

"I love how you smell" you mumble out in a drunk like state.

"Okay then" he chuckles, "let's go back to bed" taking you out of the room, gently placing you the mattress. He then pulls a pair of fresh panties from your suitcase, dressing you in them. He coos at the sight of you, sleeping peacefully despite what you did before.

He finally lays next to you, lovingly lifting up your arm to put it around his waist. He pulls the sheets over your bodies to keep you both warm, in the chilly room thanks to the beach's air.

He feels you move, snuggling closer to his chest to seek warmth.

"I love you" whispered, not expecting you to answer or hear it.

When you snuggle closer, he's sure you do.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Roasted Marshmallows

"C'mon," Harry urged, pushing Draco through the door of a cottage that looked like it had seen better days. "It's freezing out here."

Draco allowed himself to be shoved through the door but paused the moment they were through to survey the absolute mess that had been left. "You've got to be joking." This day had gone from bad, to worse, to even worse.

"Look," Harry said as he shut the door behind him, "I know it's not ideal-"

"Not ideal?" Draco all but shrieked, he could feel his blood pressure rising, he was trying to remain calm, honestly he was. "It's horrible!" he exclaimed. "My mother's been attacked and is in Mungos as we speak, my apartment was ransacked with who knows how much damage done, it's three days from Christmas and I haven't gotten any of my shopping done, and now I'm here in this horrible little safe house until the bloody DMLE can catch whoever it is that's been trying to kill me!"

Harry winced, looking around uncertainly.

Draco deflated, "and I know none of this is your fault. I know you're trying to help me. I know you had to call in a few favors to be the auror assigned to watch me. And I appreciate that, I really do, but-"

"Listen," Harry said, his warm hands cupping Draco's shoulders, "I know the past 12 hours have been a lot. Why don't you take a bath? I brought some of that lavender bath salt that you like, I'll put on some music for you, and by the time you come out everything will be right as rain out here."

He pulled Harry in, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his head against Harry's neck, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, love," he murmured, pressing a kiss to Draco's temple.

---------

When Draco emerged from the bath, feeling practically like a new person, he found that Harry hadn't been kidding. The whole cottage had been set to right, the couches had been uprighted and repaired, the floors cleaned, walls scrubbed, a fire burned merrily in the fireplace.

The smell of homemade food drifted through the cottage, something warm and hearty by the smell of it and Draco followed the scent to the kitchen where Harry was pulling something out of the oven. "Hey, you," he said over his shoulder as he set the pan on the top of the stove. "I made us a shepherds pie."

His eyes started to sting and before he could fully process what was happening, Draco was crying.

"Hey," Harry said, immediately dropping the spoon he was using to start serving their dinner. "Hey," he pulled Draco into his arms, "Don't cry." His lips brushed over Draco's forehead, "don't cry love. Everything's going to be alright."

"You made shepherd's pie."

"Sorry!" he said quickly, "I can make something else. We don't-"

Draco couldn't help it, he just started to cry harder. "Stop. It's not that I don't want to eat your shepherd's pie. I'm just," he shrugged, "I don't deserve you."

"Don't be silly," Harry said, rubbing Draco's back and directing him to a chair. In a matter of moments there was a glass of red wine in front of him along with a healthy helping of shepherd's pie. Then Harry was sitting down beside him and bumping his knee against Draco's. "Eat," he said softly.

So Draco did.

Once they finished dinner, Harry shooed Draco from the kitchen, telling him that his book was on the table by the sofa. It wasn't long before the other man also emerged from the kitchen, carrying two mugs with what Draco felt quite certain was homemade hot cocoa.

He set them down but before Draco could reach for one, Harry handed him a roasting stick and held out a bag of marshmallows. "Whoever was here last left the bag in the cupboard," he said. "I thought they might be just the thing we needed to go with our hot chocolate on a day like today."

"Thank you," Draco whispered, too overwhelmed by all of the emotions that he'd been feeling to say much else.

"Don't mention it," Harry said, bumping his shoulder against Draco's as they moved to sit in front of the fire and toast their marshmallows.

He swallowed, "I meant it, what I said earlier."

Harry raised an eyebrow uncertainly.

"I really don't deserve you."

"Darling," Harry murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You've had a terribly traumatic day. Making you some dinner and cleaning up the cottage was the absolute least I could do."

"But-"

"No, I mean it," Harry said, waving him off. "I have genuinely done the exact same thing for other people that are in the Ministry's safe houses."

"Oh," he said, brow furrowing.

"But," Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows at Draco, "What I have planned for you after hot chocolate is exclusively for you."

He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. His day may not have started out terribly well, but it looked like it was going to end markedly better.

[accio-victuuri]

010225: LRLG submission 🔴🟢

what a great way to start the year! a very long submission from lrlg! yaaaay!!!!! let me start with the last part of the post which is a message from lrlg.

It's been a long time since we last met. Isn't it a bit too long? All the work in 2024 is completed. We have entered a new year. Let's meet more often. Happy New Year!

i’m crying!!!! it’s been so long!!!!!

i will try and include as much as i can — especially one that have candy potential. the first part is bobo talking to his team and it’s a long convo but the important part is this:

staff: “How come when I went to the store to look at it, there were men’s rings?”

🟢: "I don't know. I can't go to the store."

🟢: "You can choose a pendant. There are many styles of pendants."

staff: "Only the dragon tablet and nothing else”

🟢 “Buy gold and strike it yourself”

staff:"It's too much trouble"

staff:"Just go with the gold bars and styles."

staff:“Buy ready-made”

HAHAHAHAHAHA IM CACKLING AT YIBO. Why are you like this. His staff has it hard. Why do you wanna make them hand made the gold jewelry you want???? and is this for XZ? part of the new year gift?

🟢 "Good, the only purpose is safety first"

🟢 "Absolutely"

🟢 “The express delivery has been waiting for several days.”

🟢 "It was sent by xx. If you don't go back, I'll find someone to pick it up."

🟢 "good"

the next two paragraphs are convos between wyb and his staff again. they are talking about wyb having enough time to go home ( probably spend time with xz ). then another convo about accessories.

🟢: "What did you order?"

🔴: The food I ordered hasn't arrived yet."

🟢 "I'm hungry."

Staff: "It'll probably be ten minutes. Sorry it's late."

🔴 "You're so busy. You're abusing your employees."

🟢 "Ah? Ask her."

Staff "Sorry I watched the game late"

🟢 "It's okay, I was hungry early"

🔴: "Table Tennis"

Staff "You watch it too"

🔴 "Well, mainly you are playing it out loud"

Staff "Ah, hold on to a little bit"

🟢 "Have you ordered any fruit"

🔴 "You have a big heart, dare to watch the live broadcast"

"Hey"

Staff "Then we must be on the same frequency, order fruit slices"

🟢 "I am your boss, right?"

Staff "But he is your boss"

🟢 "Okay, okay"

the next part is them finally getting their orders! HAHAHAHAHA! they ordered too much and WYB was telling his staff that when he finishes filming he will give them some time off.

Staff: "xx is here, why don't you go and take a look first?"

🟢 "Okay, you go first"

🔴 "Take a few bites of this"

🟢 "I'll come back to eat"

🔴 "Hey, there's no onion"

🟢 Chew chew chew "delicious"

🔴 "You're born in the year of the dog"

🟢 😨

🔴 "My gloves have been bitten through"

🔴 "It's so bad"

🟢 "There's water in the cabinet. I'll roll it for you when I get back. You guys eat first."

Staff "I still have two new ones."

OMGGGG they are feeding each other! and yes XZ he is a puppy! Your puppy!!!! 🥹🥹🥹😂😂😂

the next paragraphs is when WYB has already left and XZ is left with the staff. it makes me feel things that XZ is so familiar with WYB’s staff. they are truly a team that he can even joke with them. you can tell the familiarity.

Staff "I'll treat you guys to a good meal tonight"

🔴 "I'll charge you a lot"

Staff "Hey, the boss isn't here?"

Staff "XX is here"

and they are talking about a watch that was sent.

🟢 "Why aren't you eating yet?"

🔴 "It's only five minutes, you should be back in fifteen minutes."

🟢 "I grabbed the cantaloupe, it's sweet."

Staff How come yours is already cut? I just took two pieces."

🟢 "XX has already cut ones, you didn't get them

Staff "They just cut it. Do I dare to take it?"

🔴 "It's cold whether you eat it or not"

🟢 "Wash your hands"

—-

🔴 "Is it so difficult to eat a meal?"

🟢 "Didn't I ask you to eat first?"

🟢 "Oh, then it's no different from eating at home"

🔴 "You're the one who said all the words"

🟢 "Why are you cursing?"

🔴 "Which word did I use to curse?"

🟢 "You cursed in a very civilized way"

🔴 "The sauce is too salty"

🟢 "Good God"

LOL they never change with the bickering! and how they go back to talking as usual after.

——

🟢 Let Brother X take you there this afternoon"

🔴 "No need for XX"

🟢 "What did you buy?"

🔴 "There are dogs all over your pants"

🟢 "Are you a little dog now?"

🔴 "Yes, you are a little pig dog"

🟢 👊🏻

🔴 "Hey, how can you be so disrespectful?"

🔴 "Why do I feel that this sauce is different from what I ate before?"

Staff "Salty and sweet"

🟢 Change the chef"

🔴 "Hiss"

🟢 "I'll pick you up in the afternoon"

🔴 "No need, I don't know what time I'll be back"

🟢 "Call me when you're done"

the last part is labeled as a funny story among WYB and his staff

🟢 "Who ate the spicy noodles?"

Staff “Everyone in the room ate them."

Staff "Too spicy, that spicy strips they bought online"

Staff "xx had a nosebleed after eating it"

🟢 "Let me taste it"

Staff "Don't eat it, I ate a small piece and now my stomach is on fire"

🟢 "Medical insurance can't be used anymore, this is how it is"

😂😂😂😂 anyway, WYB! Don’t eat that spicy thing!!!!

-END.

i am not authorized to translate the entire thing but these are the ones that stood out and included xz and wyb interaction! this is such a simple part of their life but that’s how it is. i’m glad they get to spend time together. the question is, when was this. lol. this post as you may have noticed is more on the translation and a tiny bit of commentary from me. i will do a longer reaction and crying post later. 🫶🏼

in the meantime, enjoy ^^

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes (Part 17)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 2500

A/N: wow she's back? Hello if you're still reading thank you so much, it's been a year since I posted the NYE chapter and it's once again NYE which I consider unofficial Secret Smokes day so I'm back, I can't promise regular updates but I promise the chapters are just gonna get longer and jucier from now on. I plan to make this 20 chapters so the countdown to the end starts now. I've missed you all!

 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 17, Next Chapter

Sirius opened the door with a big grin, then you saw surprise, than an even bigger grin. "Y/N!" He exclaimed hugging you.

"Hello." You said in a cheery voice slightly overwhelmed by the greeting.

"I'm so glad you came, Remus you can leave." He said as a joke stepping out the way to let you both in. Remus and Sirius did hug hello after you walked in, it warmed your heart to see Remus loved by someone. You settled in the first floor in the drawing room which had two large sofas a large fireplace flanked by two ornate glass-fronted cabinets, and an entire wall covered with a tapestry of the Black family tree. You sat down next to Remus and Sirius sat opposite you after serving you with tea, he was excited to have you there, giddy almost. "I've been waiting for Remus to finally bring you over so we can chat." Sirius explained as he put an abnormal amount of sugar cubes in his tea. "He says he's worried someone from the order will bump into you but I think he's scared of all the embarrassing stories." Sirius explained, Remus rolled his eyes.

"You know I think you're right, but finally we have the opportunity for you to tell me everything." You replied matching Sirius's energy and shooting him a wink.

"First tell me how did you convince this loser to change his mind as no matter how hard I tried nothing worked."

"I guess I have my ways."

"She's very charming." Remus chirped in.

"Oh is she, tell me more?" Sirius said with a suggestive tone.

"Sirius, get your mind out the gutter." Remus said sternly but still in a friendly way.

"Anyway, those embarrassing stories please." You requested and Sirius's face lit up. Remus shook his head lightly, kissed you on the forehead as he stood up and walked over to the record player in the corner of the room. As Sirius began telling you a story of Remus's prank going wrong in fifth year and ending up with him burning off a part of his eyebrow. Remus flicked through the records and put on one you loved, it was a T.Rex vinyl. "You can actually still see the burn mark here." Remus said as he sat down next to you and you looked closely at his eye brow which had thinner hair in one part, you slowly examined it running your finger over it, sharing a small moment of intimacy. You moved your finger away and chanted "Tell me more, tell me more." Both the guys laughed in response. The tea soon changed to fire whiskey and the stories got juicer. It felt so comfortable sitting relaxing with the two of them. You and Sirius got increasingly drunk while Remus kept his composure however he relaxed more and more. Sirius served you some more whiskey but Remus put his hand on top of the glass signifying he doesn't want anymore and Sirius nodded in response. "Remus you bring me here and you don't even want to join in on the fun?" You teased.

"Don't be offended Y/N. He doesn't drink." Sirius remarked.

"Hm and New years was what?" You poked Remus's side teasingly.

"Correction he doesn't drink unless he's nervous and even then he won't get drunk." Sirius replied and Remus nodded while filling his glass up with some water.

"Well now you're wrong..." you began but Remus shook his head. "He's not. I wasn't drunk. Tipsy and reckless at most. But the last time I was really drunk as James and Lilly's funeral."

"So you kissed me sober?"

"Well under the influence of a little fire whiskey and a lot of testosterone."

"You drank as much as me!" You accused him confused as to how he could've remained sober.

"He's a wolf." Sirius said and howled jokingly. At that moment Remus jokingly made a wild sound before pouncing on you to tease you and pretending to bite you before pecking your cheek.

"Oh Merlin I'm so lonely." Sirius sighed dramatically. And you and Remus rolled your eyes. "Y/N do you have any cute friends?" Sirius began.

"Stop it old man." Remus remarked beginning another round of teasing between the two men.

You were laying down on the sofa with your legs draped over Remus's as your back rested on the arm of the sofa, his hand was lightly stroking your leg in a loving manner and the cure played in the background. It was a song you particularly liked and due to the confidence caused from the uncountable glasses of fire whiskey you began to quietly sing along as Remus and Sirius debated something stupid. "I don't care if Monday's blue Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too Thursday, I don't care about you." You sang quietly to yourself under your breath

"It's Friday, I'm in love" Remus joined in quietly almost a whisper, he glanced at you and you both shared a smile as he gently squeezed your leg where his hand was resting.

"Oh you guys are gonna make me throw up, I'm so lonely." Sirius sighed dramatically, making you and Remus blush this time but by this point in the night all sense of embarrassment had left your body and there was enough public displays of affection, then there was a knock on the door downstairs. "Ooo pizza." Sirius said excitedly and jumped up.

"Do you need help carrying it up?" Remus asked.

"No just don't do anything on my sofa while I'm downstairs." Sirius said with a wink.

"I can't promise anything." Remus whispered to you as soon as Sirius left the room. The alcohol was pulsing through your bodies, yours more than his as he hadn't had a sip of alcohol in about a hour, but the ease of the evening made you feel ever so infatuated by Remus. He moved closer to kiss you slowly. "I really care about you." He whispered.

"I care about you too." You whispered back.

"Thank you for coming here with me."

"Thank you for finally letting me in." You whispered back and he pecked your lips once more before going back to sit in the same position.

"I don't know what I was scared of, this is one of the best evenings I've had in a very long time."

"Me too, Sirius is lovely, and funny. I understand why you're friends." You said.

"He's great, I'm lucky to have him."

"And he's lucky to have you."

"You know when I first met Sirius I thought-" Remus began before you heard Sirius arguing with someone. "Hold on-" he said.

"Everything okay."

"Shh." He said and you both went silent. It was two male voices one was Sirius the other was familiar, a low tone and slow speech. You began to hear a quick walk up the stairs followed by Sirius. Remus quickly moved your legs off of him and moved to the other sofa as at the very moment Snape stormed through the door. "What do we have here?" Miss L/N outside school property, drinking. With a Hogwarts professor?"

"Snivellus, why have you stormed into my bloody house?" Sirius walked through the door annoyed.

"Well apparently you're busy drinking with a student."

"Not my student, I'm not a teacher." Sirius said sarcastically, Remus looked angry and frozen you didn't know what to do you just kept looking at Remus for support avoiding eye contact with Snape.

"Lupin, a man with your condition sleeping with students is not very wise." Remus didn't say anything he stood up to say something but at that very moment Sirius spoke.

"Why have you stormed into my house on a Friday evening? To make up some illusions to help your life be a little less miserable?" Sirius walked closer to Snape, it looked like Remus and Sirius were both ready to punch Snape. You had a lump in your throat, you were half expecting to wake up from this nightmare at any moment.

"Dumbledore called an emergency meeting, and if you haven't forgotten this is the headquarters for the order."

"Doesn't justify you walking through my house?"

"I had to check what you were hiding up here. I look forward to hearing how your furry friend will talk his way out of this one." Snape said with a vile tone.

"There's nothing to talk out of, it's Friday evening and I'm having a drink with my friends, shoot me." Sirius snapped, thank god Sirius was here.

"You're awfully quiet." Snape said turning around to face Lupin.

"There's nothing to say, I'm here for the meeting like you are."

"With a Hogwarts student smelling like alcohol?" Snape said accusingly.

"I can't help if she's friends with Sirius or not." Lupin said sitting down and talking another sip of his drink which was luckily water as he acted as if nothing is wrong. You looked down at the floor. Another knock on the door was heard. "Pizza! Snape you're welcome to leave." Sirius said before running downstairs. "Miss L/N I was wondering how your grades went up so quickly-"

"Oh fuck off." Remus slammed his glass on the table, stood up and in that moment Snape was hit with a stunner. He pulled his wand out and Remus disarmed him in a second. At this moment Dumbledore walked into the room, Remus was disarmed and had a look of horror on his face as he knew he had fucked up.

"Gentlemen, please stand up and explain yourselves."

"Well only one isn't standing." Sirius chipped in standing behind Dumbledore looking at Snape on the floor.

"Thank you Mr Black, I am aware." Dumbledore replied.

"I just wanted to say as far as duels go there's an obvious winner." Sirius continued. Remus's eyes were glued to the floor like a school boy who's been told off. "Remus, when you stand like that you remind me of when you were miss L/N age." Dumbledore mentioned shooting you a glance. "Now would you like to explain yourselves as to the disturbance?"

"Professor, I believe I have caught Professor Lupin doing inappropriate activities with a Hogwarts student."

"You believe?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Well yes, they were both alone here smelling of alcohol."

"Excuse me I was here too." Sirius interrupted.

"Therefore they weren't alone." Dumbledore nodded in agreement.

"But Miss L/N is a Hogwarts student outside campus without permission." Snape argued.

"I see she is escorted here with Professor Lupin." Dumbledore said calmly sitting down and pouring himself a drink using wandless magic.

"But they've been drinking." Snape continued.

"Well everyone here is legally an adult and it's Friday night, what else would you expect? Besides I see a glass of water right here." Dumbledore pointed to Remus's glass.

"I'm sorry Professor Dumbledore, but I don't understand how you can be so relaxed about this. We're meant to have a meeting and we find a student drinking with her professor outside Hogwarts grounds how are you allowing this?" Snape kept protesting.

"I do agree that Miss L/N shouldn't have left Hogwarts grounds during term time however she's an adult and thankfully she did have a guardian with her. Unfortunately, I'm sorry Miss L/N Professor Snape does have a point, I'm going to have to give you detention in Professor Lupin's office on Monday for leaving Hogwarts with no notice."

"And you're not punishing the teacher who allowed the student to leave?" Snape asked.

"Well I am making him run the detention aren't I?" Dumbledore asked.

"I can't believe you are so relaxed about this they are obviously involved with each other in some way."

"Whatever may happen outside Hogwarts grounds between adults does not concern me, I have no reason to believe anything inappropriate is happening in the hallways or corridors of Hogwarts."

A knock again on the door. "I hope it's pizza this time." Sirius said in a tired tone as he walked away.

"I'll escort Y/N back to Hogwarts I'm sorry professor." Remus said standing up.

"Perfect problem solved don't you think Professor Snape?" Dumbledore said with a smile. Snape did not respond. "Now let's head downstairs for that pizza." Words you never thought you would hear Dumbledore say. While waking downstairs you saw Sirius thanking the mildly concerned pizza man for it being him this time, it made you finally relax for the first time all evening. Remus walked in front of you without a word, when he reached the bottom of the stairs he simply announced. "I will be back shortly Headmaster." Before grabbing your arm and taking you back to Hogwarts. He walked you to your dorm room, there he spoke his first words to you. "I need to go. I'm sorry." And just like that he turned around and left.

You knocked on Remus's office door the next morning. You were greeted by a tired face and a slouched body, he looked alike the night after a full moon but you knew the next one was still quite a while away.

"Can we talk?" You asked and he nodded stepping aside to let you in.

"Tea?" His words were weak.

"No thank you." You said, not sitting down. "Are you going to loose your job?" You asked blatantly trying to keep a firm and controlled tone.

"No, I don't think so." He said over his shoulder while closing the door and making sure to lock it.

"Does Dumbledore know?"

"I believe he's known for quite a while." Remus ran his hand through his hair.

"But he doesn't care?"

"He made it seem like he doesn't see an issue with it as long as it doesn't affect my teaching or your learning." Remus explained.

"So business as usual? We're okay?"

"No... I'm afraid not Y/N." He said finally sitting down in his chair.

"Why? Everything is okay. Worst case scenario happened and it's all okay." You reasoned standing on the opposite side of the desk.

"Y/N we have flown too close to the sun. I am a fool for taking you there yesterday I put us in danger."

"Remus don't be-"

"I'm not being anything but honest."

"Remus the only issue here is your own fears, and it seems as though the reality is not as bad as you were afraid. Snape knows, Dumbledore knows. And you're still here, I'm still here. You didn't get fired. No one cares, why can't you let yourself be happy this one time?"

"Because when I feel happy, I let me guard down and every time, every single time something bad happens. I didn't want you to go see Sirius because I knew when it happens something bad will follow but I couldn't resist. And just like that not only Snape but Dumbledore and the whole order showed up."

"And we're okay why can't you see that? Neither of us are in trouble don't run away from a good thing when you have the chance to enjoy it."

Remus shut his eyes and rubbed his temple with his hand. No words came.

"I can't keep going through this back and forth, you need to stop hating yourself so much you're being an asshole." You snapped.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Do you know what hurts me? One day sitting in your office holding your hand and feeling happy, then the next you ignoring me in the corridors, than suddenly listening to vinyls on your best friends sofa to once again you telling me you want to start ignoring me again."

"It hurts me too."

"You have the power to stop it Remus. Just accept that we both like each other and allow it."

"I like you very much you know that." He pleaded.

"You have a pretty awful way of showing it." You confessed allowing your anger to show.

"I'm an old man."

"Ancient." You rolled your eyes. "I don't care."

"Your reputation will be tarnished."

"Tarnish it." You didn't break eye contact.

"I want you to be able to enjoy your youth, live it to the fullest."

"And a high school romance with my teacher isn't living to the fullest? Do you know how many other girls would die to touch you the way I do." His cheeks flushed red.

"The novelty will wear off girl, you'll get bored of me."

"Then let me get bored." You said leaning on his desk in front of him as he stayed sat on his chair. You were looking down at him and he was looking up at you, his legs spread wide under the desk.

"Darling are you forgetting what I am?"

"A hot professor with low self esteem?"

He laughed rolling his eyes and nodding. "A wolf." He made a howling side and grabbed your hips pulling you closer to him so now you were sitting on his legs starring intently into each other's eyes.

"You know very well that I'm not scared of wolves."

"My body is covering in scars." He broke eye contact.

"I know. And I find them all very attractive." You kissed the one on his neck that was peeking over his shirt collar.

"You know there's stigma that comes with dating a werewolf, people don't like people like me."

"Perfect filter for bigots, if they don't respect you, I don't want them in my life. And now Mr are you finished with the self loathing?"

"I've got a little left in me." He said playfully and you crashed your lips into his. "I'm finished we can move on to the part where I show you all the scars I hate."

"Perfect." You began to unbutton his shirt kissing his chest.

64.media.tumblr.com

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

A/N: sorry for the angst I had to do it.

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[matchayogitea]

New Year Magic ∼ Steve Harrington x Reader (One Shot)

As someone who often has a hard time during the Holidays, I quickly wrote this today to vent. Happy New Year, everyone.

Summary: You don't like New Year's and you don't really care to celebrate it with people, so you're home alone. Until an unexpected guest arrives and changes your mind about this holiday you dislike so much.

The streets were empty, and rightly so. It was the evening of December 31st, an evening you dreaded, every year.

You had never cared for New Years, but as time went by you felt your distaste for the Holiday growing stronger and stronger. The reason? You felt like the promise of a New Year that would make your life better was an empty one. A failure. At times, you thought something must be wrong with you. How could everyone celebrate and party while you felt so differently? So sad?

Sighing, you turned away from the living room window. Your parents had left an hour earlier, to celebrate with some friends, and they had tried dragging you out with them but you had pretended to be feeling sick so they would leave you alone. They just didn't understand you.

Your friends didn't seem to understand you, either. Except one. Steve Harrington, whom you'd grown close to in the past year as you found yourself battling monsters and weird supernatural phenomena, hadn't tried to convince you to go to a party with him and other people you knew. He had seemed to accept that it just wasn't something that would make you happy.

And you knew it was for the best, because he would definitely be kissing someone as midnight came around - and your heart would be crushed. Because you liked him, a lot. You had tried so hard to keep from falling for him, but you hadn't been able to stop yourself, and now you were paying the price. Just because Steve was single at the moment, you knew it wouldn't last. Not after New Years Eve.

Whatever. He was too good for you anyway. You had to accept it and move on. Even if it hurt like hell.

As you sat on the couch and grabbed a book absent-mindedly, you glanced at the clock. It was only 10 PM. Better start reading and forget about everything else.

Until someone rang the doorbell.

You considered ignoring whoever it was. Probably a friend of your parents', or some other annoying visitor. But they rang again, and again, and you finally discarded the book to go check.

You definitely weren't expecting him.

"Steve?" You gingerly opened the door, a smile making its way on your face as you noticed how handsome he looked in his long, black coat and matching scarf. "Wrong address, party's not here," you joked.

"Hey, Y/N. Are you alone?" he asked, glancing behind you.

"I am… my parents are out. What's up?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure…" You didn't know what was going on, but you let him in. It was freezing outside, not snowing yet but the promise was in the air.

"Thanks. Well, I…" He paused, as if searching for the right words. "I brought some food. Actually, it's just chocolate, but I guess you already had dinner. I brought a bottle of wine, too. No, wait-" You had opened your mouth to speak, but he kept going. "I just can't be at some stupid party while you're home alone. I would rather spend time with someone I care about than a bunch of drunk idiots. I mean… if that's ok with you…"

His cheeks were flushed, you weren't sure if it was because of the cold or something else, but you felt yourself blush, too. "Steve… that is really thoughtful, but you don't have to spend New Years with me like a loser. I know you like parties, and-"

"I'm tired of all that, Y/N. I would rather watch some dumb movie and chill at home with you."

His gaze was so warm, and he looked amazing, and he smelled so nice.

You were a goner.

"Ok, then, if you're really sure… make yourself at home," you replied, grabbing his coat and gesturing for him to follow you into the living room. "I don't know if anything's on TV. I was reading."

After placing wine and chocolate on the coffee table, Steve sat on the couch and grabbed your book. "The Never ending story? Really? We just watched the movie," he grinned, looking up at you.

"Exactly, I want to know the real story. And everything that couldn't fit into the movie," you explained, throwing a pillow at him. He laughed and you felt your chest grow warmer. You didn't know why he had decided to show up, but you were happy. Truly happy.

--------------

It was almost midnight and there was only a tiny bit of wine left, that you guys had saved to welcome the New Year.

Both of you were currently laughing like hyenas at some comedy that was on TV.

"It's not even that funny, why… are we laughing so much?" you asked, trying to calm down. Steve had drunk a bit more than you, and he was completely gone. "Look at his face!" he replied, pointing to the actor.

You did, and started laughing again.

Till Steve noticed it was five minutes left till midnight.

"Alright! Let's finish this wine and… and say what our hopes are for the New Year," he exclaimed, pouring the little wine left. "You first!"

"Oh, I hate this. Every year's the same, anyway, people making promises they won't keep and wishing for things that won't happen and-"

"Hey, Miss Optimism, I'll have you know that this year is going to be different!" Steve raised his glass to yours. "Just say one thing you wish for. Then I'll go next."

"Fine!" You sighed, feeling cornered. "Hum… I wish for world peace."

"Come onnn! I'm talking about something you wish for yourself!" Steve insisted, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You instantly felt your cheeks grow hot, partly because of the wine and partly because of him.

And then, because of the state you were in, you were dumb enough to say it out loud. "I wish… the guy I like would like me back," you muttered, downing the rest of the wine.

Steve stared at you for what felt like forever, before nodding. "Same. Same for me! I mean… the girl I like, in my case, not a guy…" he drank what was left in his glass, before turning back to you. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," he added, eyes dangerously glassy.

"I don't think it's a good idea…" You might be tipsy, but not drunk. And you knew there was no coming back from admitting to him that you liked him. A lot.

Steve was too out of it to listen to you, however. "It's just the two of us, come on! On a count of 3…"

"Steve, no, I don't-"

"2-"

"Stop it, Steve-"

"1-"

"IT'S YOU!" You both shouted simultaneously, and your face fell. What? It must be some joke in poor taste, right? How could Steve like you?

But he was staring at you so lovingly that it couldn't be a joke. He couldn't be that good of an actor, he just couldn't-

"Oh my God, you finally told me you're desperately in love with me!" he exclaimed, raising one fist triumphantly. "Yessss!"

"What… I…" you were stunned. You couldn't process everything that had happened so fast. "I just-"

"Ssssh! Come here!"

Steve dragged you to your feet, so you were standing in front of him, and cupped your face between his warm, large hands.

"It's one minute left till midnight, Y/N. This year, I want to spend it with you. Be with you, all the time, and never let you go."

Still incredulous, you tried to ask if he meant it, but he cut you off.

With a kiss.

The kiss.

As you wrapped your arms around him and got lost in your dream world, you only barely registered the turn of the New Year. Finally, you were happy.

[emeraldsfanfics]

The Dark Knight

♤Rise!Turtles with a Batmanlike!Girlfriend!Reader!♤ ♤Headcannons♤

♡REQUESTS OPEN♡ Request rules here

《Leo》

》He thinks you are the most badass person ever and prouder he even pulled you

》At first you scared him while he was on patrol with his brothers. And out of nowhere a bat girl swooped in from the shadows and beating up the foot clan...solo and not dying

》Thought you were a mutant at first

》Then you just started interrogating one if them by your deep voice and lift them over a skyscraper, they folded immediately

》He was terried because you were so imitating and dressed in black. Like the boogeyman, scarier because you were a women

》On another patrol, he seen you again, followed you, until you appeared out of nowhere and asked him why he was following you

》Shocked you weren't weirded out by him, you simply told him you knew what he was. And you had been doing research about mutants

》When he is dating you, he is constantly bragging about it...especially to Donnie because of your technology, intelligence and company

"Yeah? I pulled her, oh! You don't have a rich cool superhero girlfriend? Well that's too bad." *checks his nails*

》Brings you to patrol as a secret weapon/interrogator

"Where is HE?!"

"I ain't talking, this height wouldn't even kill me"

"That's what I'm counting on." *drops the guy and breaks his legs.

*leo is swooning and thinks it's hot (not in a sexual way) "I love that woman."

》INSECURE! And gets even more petty when he is jealous. He'll start doing stupid stuff to impress you. To the point you'll have to reassure him you only have eyes for him

》doesn't help your the attractive introvert type

》jokingly calls you emo and slightly concerned about how much eyeliner you use

》You spoil him so much he is constantly bragging about it 😭

"JUPITER JIM DIMOND COVERED KEYCHAIN, HOW'D YOU GET THIS BABE?!"

"Money."

》finds your moral code weird, what do you mean you wouldn't kill but you'll beat them until they need medical attention?! But encourages it

》Has your merchandise and NOT ashamed of leaving them all over the lair and his room

》Gets you anything that has to do with bats, expect bat jokes. Lots of them

》You can train with him with ease, yes, you are better at combat. And you two spar with your gadgets/weapons (you always win in 20 minutes)

》When you revealed your secret identity to him, he is more in love.

'SHES SO BEAUTIFUL?! Stay cool Leo...'

》You'll even invite them over to your mansion, and they'll find any excuse to go. Because well...you have expensive stuff and cars...

》Leo annoys the HELL out of your butler, Alfred. You know Alfred is a BADASS and close to attacking Leo

》Sometimes youll get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or other sadistic things you've seen. When Leo is there, he'll try shifting your focus on him, by watching a movie and snuggling with you.

》He secretly would've loved to meet your parents, they seemed like amazing people to you and Alfred

》Sometimes he thinks your planning gets over the top but he knows you have MAJOR trust issues

》When you are talking about detective stuff, he tries to listen but he just doesn't get it. So he's there staring at you like, "place name backstory stuff" so he loves it when you, and I quote, "talk smart"

》Steals your gadgets when you are away, you know but you let him get away with it. Even your mask at times and makes impressions of your raspy voice when in costume

"I AM VENGEANCE-"

*appearing from the shadows*"Leo what are you doing?"

"AHHH-"

》Now he has a mountain of batarangs in his room

》You have a tracker on him he doesn't know about

》Almost killed his brothers with your batmoblie

》You grounded him from kisses for a week, my boy was tweaking from just the first day

"Itsy bitsy BaTsy" *him in a corner with wide eyes going mental*

"Y/N YOU BROKE LEO AGAIN!"

》Genuinely worries when you don't sleep for days, even though you look attractive with tired eyes, he still tried to take care of you

》By getting Alfred having him help him with getting you to bed

》He always indicates any physical contact, kisses, hand holding, hugs ect.

》Loves when you suddenly save him during a battle? My boi in loveeee

》His life practically revolves around you

》Leo loves you and everything that comes with you <3

■Raph■

■Lowkey extremely terrified of you at first. You have a dark and cold demeanor AGH-stuff of nightmares

■Then, he seen you with children, you always had a soft spot for them. He probably fell in love right then and there

■He approached you like the gentlemen he is, that's when you two became friends, you admired his morals and overprotective nature. He just thought you were more cool the more he got to know you

■He confessed his feelings during a fight when you almost died this was your response:

"Please don't die on me! I-i love you"

"I knew..."

■Sometimes can't get over your deep voice when in battle, it catches him off guard

■Find your strength and workout routine intense but he would commit and do it with you. Also loves when YOU pick HIM up

■When dating he is a absolute sweetheart, a bigger one than before

■Has a batdoll merchandise plusbie he bought of you and sleeps with it every night

■And you spoil him with whatever he wants just because

"Where'd you get these rare accident ninja weapons?!"

"Money."

■Overprotective of you, yes he knows you can protect yourself AND others, but he can't help but worry about you and gives you medical attention

*you got back from a mission and take your mask off*

"Hey Babe, how was it?"

"Eh, nothing, just simply got thrown off a skyscraper, but I should be okay in an hour."

"That's nice-YOU GOT WHAT?! Let Raph take care of ya"

■Alfred absolutely adore Raph and Alfred sees Raph a son, which you find adorable

"Lady L/n, when will Raphael be arriving to the mansion once more?"

"OOH! Is Alfred gonna be there?!"

■Him and Alfred have a "Night Bat" code name for forcing you to sleep when you are up for days

■When you revealed your secret identity to him he's flabbergasted

"You're so pretty" like he's in a trance

■You two LOVE going in your gamroom and go agaist each other, yall get so competitive 😭

■We all know he is a perfect big boi, so of course he gives the best hugs and cuddles. Which you'll never admit to anyone...

■Yes, you have a tracker on him he doesn't know about, for safety

■NEVER admits it, but he finds it attractive when you suddenly save him, he gets SO RED

■Gets nervous to touch your expensive stuff, he just doesn't want to break anything :( and you assure him it's not a problem if he does, I mean, your filthy rich after all

■When you are talking about detective stuff, he gets...some of it. He's consitrating so much when you are talking about it with him but ends up tweaking

■When you wake up in a cold sweat, he has boyfriend senses and he'll comfort you for HOURS! No girlfriend of his will ever be lonely at times like this

*going through a trumamtic flashback*

*runs through your wall* "RAPH IS HERE BABY! DONT PANIC!" *has pillows and tea*

"How'd you even get past security-"

■You had to upgrade security and your walls

■Sometimes he wishes he could meet your parents, you also would like that. Kind of confirmed your parents would've loved Raph

■He loves the suit on you, yes, it looks intimating and scary, but knowing it's you in it makes it cool

■Insecure! He sees a lot of people admiring you, understandable, but still! He's just thankful your dating him and doesn't really get jealous

■Any that has to do with bats he'll get it for you this includes any eyeliner because of how much you use

■Admires your moral code, since he isn't big in killing either. But cool with torturing >:)

■THIS TURTLE LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT GIVE IT TO HIM PLZ 🙏 because he is too shy to ask, even when dating

■He has a "I can fix her" mindset with you

■This boi will do anything for you and loves the feeling and YOU. Just you <3

◇Donnie◇

◇This boi thought you were a mutant because of your speed, agility, voice and strength. Also the bat thing I guess

◇Also the most intimidating thing he's ever cake across

◇In the most Donnie way possible, he approached you, that only resulted him getting pinned onto the wall by your surprising strength

◇he probably fell in love right then and there. AND by the fact you were human and able to take any mutant down

◇but, of course, he didn't want to show that, so you two somehow became friends after running into each other in patrols

◇also shocked when you don't freak out about...him. but you informed him you are doing a case about mutants

◇overthinked about confessing his feelings, I mean, you are hard to read when it comes to emotions, so he just went for it

◇he literally researched everything about being romantic, but like, what do you get for the girl who has everything...AN EXPERIENCE and he confessed his emotions

◇That's when you told him you knew and kissed him

◇I mean...your a detective...

◇when dating, you trusted him enough to reveal your secret identity

"By Newton, you are so stunning."

"What?"

"What?"

◇fanboying like a school girl on the inside that he is even dating you. Gets to the point when he'll forget he's dating you, then gets giddy when he remembers your his GIRLFRIEND

◇Like Leo, he BRAGS to his brothers or anyone

"That's awfully impressive, but my girlfriend does that for a warm up, not to brag."

◇doesn't admit but but WAS jealous of your intelligence and cool gadgets you invented

◇Has a batdoll of you he sleeps with every night and will never admit it

◇when you invited him to your mansion, he's shocked about how rich you are, like "ho, is you rich?"

◇should have known by the expensive clothes you wear 💀

◇YOU SPOIL HIM ROTTEN MY BOY HOOKED UP

"How'd you get this Atomic Lass limited edition golden 24k gold and Dimond figurine from 1982?!"

"Money."

◇absolutely encourages the amount of eye liner you use, he thinks it brings a little ✨️dazzle✨️ to your look

◇unintentionally ANNOYS THE HELL out of Alfred, my bristish man done

◇You are his secret weapon for mutants or interrogating anyone

"I'M going to get a cup of coffee" *leaves*

"Good luck with that" *cocky chuckle*

*appears from the shadows and throws a mutant 5x their size across the room* "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!"

*SCREEECH*

"Oh she is so remarkable" *bro in love*

◇Always has to call a mystic medic when you fight a mutant

"I'm calling a mystic medic" *sees you beat their ass* "that's my girlfriend."

◇Embraces the violence you bring to the table

◇LOVES and HATES your moral code, he loves that you unintentionally beat criminals senseless. Hates that you won't end their lives, Lame.

◇Thinks you are the most badass person he's ever met

◇loves when you are telling him about detective stuff, he is genuinely interested in learning this field about science

◇Sometimes he is worried about you when you come here extremely injured, there was a time when you came back with a bullet in your arms. So, he insisted he nurse you back to health

◇there are times when you wake up from a traumatic flashbacks about missions or your parents, he gave S.H.E.L.D.O.N a "cry cry" protocol. It's just him giving you a plushie of himself saying, "please don't cry beautiful" until Donnie actually gets there

◇You are S.H.E.L.D.O.N's mother

◇makes any excuse to come over, totally not for your cool technology and gadgets...no

◇Donnie is extremely insecure when it comes to you. You're attractive, smart, rich and talented. Doesn't help your the attractive introvert type. And there are a lot of human guys out there he sees trying to get close to you

"Scoff! He's not even as smart as me! He's not even as buff as me!"

◇hates he can't do anything about it, he would love to torture them >:)

◇Please reassure him and compliment him 😭

◇There was a time he was kidnapped, you came and defeated 100 mutants easily, you just came home carrying him bridal style, he was so ashamed you had to save him but thankful, more than thankful

*looks at you with puppy eyes* "I love you."

◇Would sometimes steal your gadgets to give them the "Don upgrade" that would typically mean he would make them more lethal

◇Has stolen your batmobile more than ten times, you'll hear his manic laugh in the streets

◇You both don't sleep for days, so either Alfred or Raph would force you two to sleep

◇Donnie thinks your workouts/even warms ups are too intense

◇You both spar a lot, which results in an hour long battle

◇Donnie would give you and invent you anything that has to do with bats or can help you with gadgets

◇Donnie initiates physical contact believe it or not. Sometimes he'll get touch starved with you. Preferring hand kisses and forehead kisses.

◇This boi cherishes and very proud of you, he just loves you so much <3

☆Mikey☆

☆When he saw you, he immediately thought you were so cool! Mutant or human, he wanted to know you

☆He decided to approach you, not seeing him as much of a threat, you replied, that was the start of a beautiful relationship

☆Mikey is very emotionally intelligent, so he immediately recognize his feelings for you

☆Not panicking, he simply was upfront with you while being his adorable self

☆He was kind of flabbergasted when you told him you knew...

"H-how did you know...?"

"I'm a detective." *kisses him*

☆When dating you only seen that Mikey is an adorable agent of chaos, but hey, you are too

☆Absolutely loves the amount of eyeliner you put on! He'll even ask for you to put some on him

☆CRAFT DATES! You two cherish those dates, you do it in your art room in the mansion, which is Mikey's favorite room in the mansion

☆When you revealed your secret identity, he immediately fanboyed

"AW! You're so cute!" *grabs your face and has cuteness aggression*

☆You two are the definition of black cat and golden retriever

☆Never gets jealous! He knows you are a catch but he knows you won't let anything go between you two

☆Conflicted by your moral code, he is not for violence. But glad to do so >:)

☆You spoil him rotten and he is always so touched 🥲

"I can't accept this."

"Why?"

"Because it's just-too Beautiful"

"So?"

"This was 1.2 million dollars Beautiful."

"I got it for cheap I know"

*confused Mikey*

☆Him and Alfred get along so well, even helps in the kitchen. At this point Alfred looks foward to seeing Mikey over you

☆This turtle is VERY CLINGLY! He'll attack you with hugs and kisses randomly, like you, he'll hide in the shadows

☆doesn't mind PDA

☆He will be in cloud 9 when you save him from the foot clan or anything! Just hundreds of knocked out mutants on the floor and he's admiring you like a lovesick puppy

☆Very much like Leo, whenever you are talking about detective stuff, he'll be like, "place name, backstory stuff"

☆Love's your gadgets! He'll mess around with them and loves your flamethrower for some reason...

☆Anything that has to do with bats will make him giddy just thinking about you

☆Whenever you get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or any missions you were apart of, he'll cook you something amazing or bake, whatever you want!

☆Dr.Delicate Touch comes out whenever you're in danger

☆He bites you....that's it

☆Hates when you don't sleep, he won't drag you out to bed..BUT he'll snuggle onto your lap until you sleep

☆Love's you with tired eyes or not, you are perfection to him

☆However, he has "I can fix her" mindset, with you

☆You two LOVE sparing, sure, he hates even potentially hurting you, but you always remind him you will be perfectly fine

☆He has cuteness aggression towards you, you really don't know why

☆He has stolen your batmoblie with his brothers, happens once a week

☆You will randomly surprise him when he thinks he's alone

*dancing* "YoU MuST bE wHoO HeRmes MenTIONeD-"

*appears from the darkness*"Hello Michelangelo."

*EEEEEH*

☆Forget bad cop good cop, try the psychotic cops

"TELL ME WHERE IT IS!"

"BREAK HIS KNEECAPS-"

"YEAH!"

☆He has a think for breaking people's kneecaps?

☆This adorable psychotic turtle loves you and knows your perfect <3

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

can we know what was planned for the rest of phase 2 and phase 3 ( if anything ) ?

SO . to roughly summarize the events , that was a fake jax to show that 00's Bullshit Mindfuck Powers (BMP) also work in reality . however before that was revealed , 00 appears to guilt out of ragatha for doing that , and also reference the ... nasty asks i got about how people think she's annoying and frustrating . it's an entire scene

after that she goes through the door and ragatha believes at this point that it goes to the circus only to find that it was just Paint . she briefly abstracts as a joke , tries to go back to caine and ann only to get lost . finds bubble who becomes her companion for this portion , somehow lead to phone call #3 and that's where the coherence ends

for the stuff that'll eventually connect :

an encounter with fake zooble

a fake gangle to actually complete the sock puppet collection

fake kaufmo as well

has a talk with an imaginary ann

phone call #4

DOPPELGANGER ??!!!!!!!!!???!!!

we find out that caine's infected it's just that his code is able to quarantine it but it's beginning to not last long . oopsie doopsie .

The Murder

this all sounds fucking insane i'm sorry . the nature of planning out a story for an ask blog is that you can't really make your stories not sound like mad ramblings . this one relies a Lot on actions having consequences so i have to make sure i'm telling a story that's still loose enough for the audience to participate .

phase 3 is a Weird one because it's the loosest . i did not have an ending planned because the ending was supposed to be Created here ... and um ... well ! welly well well .

it will start with ragatha trying to get caine to the anti-virus and finds zooble there who will call her a STUPID BITCH for literally Exploding Herself in phase 1 and uh . she'll eventually reunite with everyone else . and pomni .

[toonice113]

New Years Day ⋆ ★ N.Hischier

Pairings: Nico Hischier x fem!reader

Genre: fluff

Summary: just reader being completely in love with Nico, based on New Years Day by Taylor Swift.

Warnings?: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of a fight.

Word count: 701

⋆˚࿔ tina's note 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Happy New Year! here's a little something I wrote in like 10 minutes

There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

It was 4am by the time you were leaving the hotel ballroom where the Christmas party had been, Nicole, Bree and you with your heels in your hands, arms intertwined laughing about some dumb joke one of you had made while Jesper, Dougie and Nico walked behind you with their own chatter, a lot more sober and quiet than you three. Nico couldn’t help but get distracted by the way you looked, how your eyes were glossy from the alcohol but also from how much you had laughed, your hair flowing as you threw your head back in laughter and your flushed cheeks.

Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me from the night before

Walking out of your room you groaned looking at the mess you had left last night. Nico had been away for a roadie during your birthday and while you had gone out and celebrated with your friends on the actual day, Nico had prepared a night in for you two that had ended in both of you rushing into your room spilling some candle wax on your way there and leaving behind a stack of polaroid pictures from your night together.

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

The New Year’s Eve party had started out great, your friends filling your apartment, drinks flowing, good food and good music, so you weren’t sure how you’d ended the night in an empty bed while Nico slept in the guest room. You had no idea who had started the fight or how it had escalated to where it had but you knew this wasn’t how you wanted to start the new year, so after tossing and turning you finally got out of bed, the clock reading 7am, you had gone to bed just after 4. Walking out of the room wearing only your underwear and one of Nico’s hoodies you could see him picking up cups and bottles that had been left out, he looked just as tired as you and you couldn’t stand being so apart from each other so you took a few strides his way and held him from behind feeling him tense up for a second before relaxing and turning around pulling you into his chest, both of you melting right into each other, an unspoken promise to never go to bed angry at each other ever again.

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

I can tell that it's gonna be a long road

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

You knew Nico was not excited for this event, he usually didn’t mind going to fundraisers and charity events but this one was different. Tonight would be filled with investors and boring speeches, having to act like the people at the dinner were the most interesting ever even though neither of you cared, sitting in the back of the car the team had sent to pick you up you felt him squeeze your hand three times, you squeezed back letting him know you were there for him “We can always sneak out early if this is horrible” You whispered at him as you climbed out of the car, a small chuckle leaving his mouth as he buttoned his suit jacket before holding your hand again and pulling you in for a forehead kiss.

Please don't ever become a stranger (hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere (I will hold on to you)

Even from the other side of the dark room, you could recognize his laugh making you smile, a warm feeling consuming you as you sipped on your drink and chatted with the other WAGs, you had his laugh engraved in your brain and you prayed you could keep hearing it for the rest of your life. 

[antiadvil]

hi i don't normally like to do giant appreciation posts because i'm always scared i'll accidentally leave someone out. but it's the end of the year and i appreciate a lot of people so i'll make an exception. this is all off the top of my head so there is probably a heavy recency bias and if you're not included it's not because i don't appreciate you but probably because i can't think of anything specific to thank you for :( i appreciate all of you this year has been so fun and you're all so funny and have been so kind to me and i hope we can have lots of fun together next year too. anyways. it's still december 31st here so i did NOT miss the new year's eve meetup thank you very much.

@manchestereyes thank you for seeing tit with me and returning to phanfic writing this year. the world is truly better for it

@bewareofthenewphannie for helping me with the photosensitivity document for tit even though i got a migraine anyway, that part was probably inevitable

@eveningsausage for encouraging me to recreate the october 19th selfie with my best friend (even though there was an event near the chicago apple store and there were ten million people in there so we got scared and did not do it) (the event was very loud and there were a lot of lights we were very brave about it) and also betaing the one fic i wrote this year that actually had a beta. also haircut advice which i have yet to apply in practice

@emojackolantern for liking all of my twitter posts

@jonsaremembers because i am eating a quesadilla recipe that she sent me right now (god please help me I need that cookbook nowhere near as badly as dan and phil but I do need it) (i am eating a quesadilla made with the recipe. i did not print out the actual recipe and eat the recipe)

@thighguys for leaving like ten comments on my fics in one night, which kept me fed for most of the year

@dnpbeats for writing a hoodie bow incident explainer that i linked to in a fic. i can tell when people read my fic when they like my reblog of that post and now i guess you can too

@danandfuckingjonlmao for all of the accessibility stuff!

@toomanystairs for the bracelet at tit and the offer of a bracelet at mcr next year! i'm really excited :)

@wdapteo for my header! and not my icon anymore because i changed that but they did also make me an icon!

@notsosaucystuff for being the first person i ever did matching icons with (and only person and also we are still matching) (i literally went to go check because i was like omg it would be so awkward if i said we were matching but they changed their pfp like yesterday)

@catboydan for hanging out with me look idk including this on an appreciation list kind of makes it sound like hanging out with me was just a favor and it wasn't but it was a lot of fun and i can't think of a different way to word it lmao

@shiwisins because i reread decaf coffee again today and also for a lot of their other fics but decaf coffee is the one i reread today so it's the one i am most appreciative of

@lessthanpog for also having migraines and commiserating about them, this has been a very bad year for my health (rip) and i needed all of the comisery i could get

honestly so many fic writers i have read so much good fic this year. and so many other people like even if my memory worked well it would be too many to feasibly list before midnight. if you commented on any of my fics i love you. if you left kudos i love you. if you reblogged my jokes and said they were funny i love you. if you did lots of other things i probably love you. etc.

[syscest]

hi im assuming the us vs them post is about a specific term, which one would that be?

so the sysmed out-group term being referenced in the joke post was (as the reblogs guessed) "endogenic", and I'll lay our thoughts out straight just once to avoid being potentially taken the wrong way

I've got two angles here, existential theological linguistic bullshit, and harm-reduction. stay with me here because even if you're not on board with the first thing you'll want to see the second.

so "traumagenic vs endogenic" is a false dichotomy, and I don't just mean "there's a secret third thing", I mean both classifications are fundamentally not real.

personally? we haven't the foggiest idea why we're a system. but the thing is, I don't think anybody else does either - I think it's genuinely impossible to know why your own consciousness is behind your own eyes and controlling your own body, why you *experience* existing in first-person at all. Like shit, lots of singlets believe it's because a soul has been created or introduced to their flesh, and a bunch of others think that's a load of crap and the chemicals just *do this* on their own. Singlets get this unalienable right to believe whatever the hell they want about why they're experiencing being themselves all the damn time, and I refuse to believe that systems are uniquely special in a way that singlets are not such that anyone can fucking flawlessly divine the cause of our consciousness all of a sudden. These are existential-tier questions and to deny their impossible complexity and the right to self-belief over them is, in my eyes, to deny systems something many singlets feel is part of what makes them human.

You can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own systemhood just like how you can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own existence - that doesn't make you definitively right, it's just a meaningful mechanism through which you understand your own experiences that other people should respect - it's like any faith, go figure.

Frustratingly, these words - traumagenic, endogenic - they're not talking about belief, they're objective buckets actively being used for exclusion. So every time we use the term "traumagenic systems", in saying "systems that objectively exist because of trauma" we are saying, loudly, "it is possible to know why a system exists". and frankly? no the fuck it isn't.

Anyway that's airy bullshit and reflects very idealised interactions so - practical, realist opinions, and harm reduction:

Saying "I'm pro-endo" is a net good, though I think "I support all systems" is probably marginally better because it doesn't perpetuate categories pushed by sysmeds for exclusionary reasons as being essential to defining systemhood - as we joked about.

Contrastingly, self-declaring "traumagenic" or "endogenic" in a bio is a net bad. Saying "I'm a traumagenic system" also says "Hello sysmeds, I believe in your dichotomy and I'm one of the good ones" (great way to get sysmed followers), and that factor doesn't go away if you go on to say that you support all systems - you've already thrown away your opportunity to shield more vulnerable systems from harassment through making who sysmeds need to target more obscure.

In fact, regardless of whether your bio says to sysmeds "I am a target" or "I'm not a target", by saying it explicitly, you're pressuring other, more vulnerable systems to similarly self-declare. It's like cis people putting pronouns in their bio to shield trans people from harassment through obscurity and embarrassment, but in reverse - if you shut up about it, and *just* call yourself a plural system, even if you do believe in their categorisations, you stop the propogation of the self-labelling and exclusionists are forced to make themselves look like idiots because most of their harassment would have to be done at random. It's basically herd immunity - nobody talks, everybody walks.

anyway yeah there's context for future, though honestly the section in plural respect is a lot more succinct lmao

[toadletthefirst]

Could you elaborate on skeptunist as a concept/relationship in general?

(thanks for the question!)

Oook, ok, I said it as a joke at first, but since I'm still allowed to talk-

It's so funny to put together "people always lie :/" and "people always lie :D" guys. In fact, they have much more in common than they would like to think. General distrust to others, love to build strategies, wanting to be in control of the situation etc. And it can be quite easy to cooperate based upon that. They both want to keep some distance, and since this wish is mutual, there would be no conflict about it.

But there's definitely distrust, and they both will try to act like they're playing chess. Some "I'm the one really in control here" situation from both sides. But it will be balanced by "well now you're stuck with me, so it's better to cooperate, isn't it"

So they will annoy the hell out of each other, but their agreement will work, if their goals, at least seemingly, the same.

Also their intellectual sides work quite well together. Opportunist is quick in decisions, while skeptic is better in slow-paced cases. This might make them checks and balances for each other. Skeptic would constantly stop opportunists from dumb decisions that seem like a fast win, because he can think of a bigger picture. And I totally can see how opportunist pushes him off the rails in front of an approaching train when he is lost in thought™. And maybe opportunist' social skills will help them a lot.

Buuut I'm kinda afraid of the moral side of them. They're both kinda "the goal is more important than the means" people, even though skeptic has some standards. So I'm not sure how it will go. Perhaps the skeptic will restrain Opportunist's impulses, as if limiting his ambitious ideas. But Oppy can definitely sway a skeptic to a more ruthless side by offering his style decisions, if skeptic finds them sufficiently reasonable. Soo they probably will end up in the morally grey spectrum.

So maybe based on the nice collaboration..... there might appear some familiarity to each other's company......I mean....they kinda can get used to shenanigans of other....... Like "still don't trust you at all, but it's easier to deal with difficulties with your company, not alone". And opportunist totally can get clingy if skeptic's presence makes his life safer/easier.

If an opportunist is the kind of person who should not be trusted by the axiom, perhaps this will somehow help to remove the tension skeptic usually has. Like, "yes, this guy is still up to something, but at least I'm ready for it cause I already saw all his tricks, so I can focus on something else."

And after some time there will be too many secrets shared to just move on......smth...smth... partners in crime..........

And it's just funny to imagine a flamboyant show-off and some serious unkempt guy who is so fed up with everything

[aishangotome]

[Darius Vogel] I Can't Return to a Time Before You Part 1

Crown, Her Majesty's direct assassination organization.

From the night I learned their forbidden secrets, I became a Fairytale Keeper for a limited engagement of one month.

About a week has passed since then, and I've gotten a little used to them and the darkness of England they live in --.

A cruel angel descended upon Crown Castle.

Darius: "Nice to meet you, dear members of the Crown."

Darius: I'm Darius Vogel, chief of 'Vogel,' an organization directly under the German Emperor.

Next to him were twin brothers, Nica Schwartz and Ring Schwartz, who came to stay at the palace with their chief, Darius.

Their identities and purpose are--...?

The opportunity to know a glimpse of it came soon.

In an unexpected way.

-

Darius: Thank you for accompanying me today, Fairytale Keeper.

Kate: Don't worry about it. I was just thinking of going into town for a change of pace.

When I casually replied, a sweet voice admonished me.

Darius: No, let's do that again. We're lovers today.

Darius: Did you forget about the "condition"?

(Oh, that's right...)

*earlier*

Last night, I was summoned by Victor and went to his room, where I found Victor himself and the Vogel members gathered.

Kate: A tour of the city, with me?

Darius: Ah, I would definitely like to ask you to do that.

Ring: I... don't really need a guide.

Nica: I'd like to ask you since we're here. If possible, I'd prefer it to be just the two of us, little Robin.

Darius: Just the two of us, huh? I like that idea. Let's go with that.

Nica: Huh?

While everyone except Darius blinked, only he narrowed his eyes as if his heart was dancing with exciting delusions.

Darius: But it's not very stylish to just follow the Fairytale Keeper around town in a group, like a bunch of country bumpkins.

Darius: I don't like that kind of thing.

Darius: So, I'd like you to choose one of us, Fairytale Keeper, and spend the day as their lover.

Victor: Darius, that's quite a funny joke, isn't it?

Darius: Is it difficult to write about in a report like that? Then I'll rephrase it.

Darius: The reason for requesting to be alone with each member of Vogel is to deepen your understanding of us by facing each of us individually.

Darius: No complaints about that, right?

(That reason would make it look good on the surface.)

But Victor seemed hesitant to answer.

To Crown, the Vogel members are important guests who have come for a goodwill visit.

And I am, after all, an exclusive Fairytale Keeper for Crown.

It's beyond the scope of my original job to entertain the Vogel members––but...

Victor: I'm afraid that would...put a strain on Kate, wouldn't it?

(I'm glad Victor is trying to protect me, but...)

Kate: It's all right. I'll be happy to show you around if you'd like.

(I don't want to cause friction between Crown and Vogel right away.)

(It's definitely better for both sides to build a good relationship from now on.)

Darius: Wow, you're so kind, Fairytale Keeper.

Darius: Including myself, we're all well-behaved. You don't have to worry about us biting you. Hehe, nice to meet you.

Kate: Nice to meet you too.

-

––So that's how I ended up walking around town with Darius.

(I completely forgot about the "as lovers" condition...)

Darius: Hey, hey, are you always so formal with your lovers, Fairytale Keeper?

Darius: Or could it be that this is your first time on a date with a man alone?

Darius: I'm curious about a lot of things. Can I ask you all about it?

Darius: It's okay, right? You're my lover now.

(Aside from showing him around town, the "as lovers" condition is more of a challenge than I thought...)

But there's no denying that I was the one who agreed to it, including the conditions.

(I'll do my best to get through today.)

I pulled myself together and smiled at Darius, who was staring at me with interest.

Kate: I'm sorry if I seemed distant. I'm a little nervous... After all, it's a date with my "lover."

Kate: But I'm happy to be out with you, Darius.

Darius: Well, I guess it's okay. It sounded a little rehearsed, though.

Darius: By the way, why did you choose me instead of Nica or Ring?

At that time, what was proposed was to choose one person from Vogel and spend time with them as their lover.

(The reason I chose Darius is...)

Kate: Because I wanted to know more about you.

(When you first greeted us...)

*flashback*

Darius: "A better society through the power of the cursed." That's our motto.

Darius: Even though the cursed now live in the shadows, I believe there's a more wonderful way for us to interact with society!

Darius: A future where humans and the cursed join hands... Doesn't just imagining it give you chills?

*back to present*

Every now and then, I recall those words Darius said.

(What kind of world is Darius aiming for?)

Kate: I want to know what kind of world "a future where humans and the cursed join hands" or "a new order" would be.

Darius: ………… Hmm...

Was it just the light that made his gaze seem to change?

I felt as if a darkness I didn't know had been reflected in his honey-colored eyes, which had been sweetly swaying until a moment ago.

.

.

.

Part 2

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[poisonedspider]

Still got a few hours till the New Year over here, but figured I'd post it now - especially since half my friends are already in bed.

I'm really bad at sappy posts like this (ironically considering I make these posts randomly all the time). I mostly feel like there isn't something I can say that I haven't already. I'm not going to list a bunch of names or else I'd be here all night, but if you're reading this, just know that you matter.

I never thought we'd be here when I made this blog back in April, and if I'm being honest? I'm disappointed it took me that long. As most of you know, I had an Angel blog back in 2019, but mostly saw other Angels and Alastors so I gave up fairly quickly. In February, on my other blog, I was like....should I make an Angel blog? Is it going to be the same, even though Hazbin is big now? Will I delete it in a month like I do all my new blogs?

And I'm so glad that I didn't. This year has been, no joke, the best year of my life in any fandom. I've had severe roleplay trauma (some of you were there with me haaaa), so I get a lot of emotions. I break down a lot. I admittedly have panic attacks when I see people have blocked me without me knowing the reason (hey, I'm working on that). In a fandom like HelluvaHazbin, it can be challenging to not be worried. After all....there's a lot of dark topics...which could mean a lot of purity culture coming on the attack.

But I have never seen that here. Maybe it's because we are all some levels of fucked up, but this has been the healthiest and most supportive fandom I've ever seen. People let people do their extreme shit and move along, and that is...so refreshing? It's actually a safe place to explore. To write without being monitored. With the direction the world is going in a lot of ways, I never thought I'd find that.

I have never felt as strongly connected to a fandom to consider you all my found family. Guess it's kind of like how Angel felt when he first came to the hotel. Like sure, why not, let's try this out. To suddenly being all in, completely deep, loving every single one of you. Being vulnerable with all of you. Wanting to protect all of you at all costs.

I have 446 of you, and I don't know all of you on a personal level, but that doesn't mean I don't see you. That I don't admire you. That I don't want to be writing with you (please don't be strangers!) Every single one of you brings something to the table, and I love that. This is also the first time I have not been terrified by duplicates (well....mostly...it's a slow and steady race). Because every person's portrayal is so different and unique? Like?

To all of you that I write with, you have changed my life more than you know. The amount of times I'll be talking to my irl friends and be like "blah blah *drops a url* blah blah" or "Oh my gosh my Husk said this, my Pentious said this" and they're like...Strode is un poco loco but oh well. I have never felt happier than I do creating storylines with all of you. Exploring all different elements of these characters and their relationships.

I know I can be a lot. I know sometimes I spiral and post endlessly OOC, but that's because I feel safe here. And that's because you all have allowed this to be a safe space. I know I horny post consistently but - it's Angel, you know? And I don't have to worry about getting anon hate because of it. I can do what I want to, how I want to, and have nothing but cheerleaders. And that's so amazing. To feel safe out of character too is something I haven't had since the early days of roleplay when I used MSN Messenger (yes, I'm OLD).

So thank you. Every single one of you. I can't wait to make more with you in 2025. To continue these stories. For years to come, ideally, since we'll be waiting that fucking long for all these officially announced seasons - ha! I'm not going anywhere. And I know you all come and go, people delete blogs or switch fandoms or lose the hyperfixations, but whether you're here for a month or ten years, just know that you are loved. You are special. And I hope that 2025 brings you all the grace, peace, comfort, and joy that you deserve.

Thanks from me and one incredibly slutty spider. xoxo

[jazeswhbhaven]

Do you still accept requests?? If so, is it alright if I ask for a headcanon about how the kings + lucifer and bael about how they feel towards the fact that MC excels very well in leadership and is actually capable of leading (like a group or whatever), but they refuse to do so because they don't trust their abilities and much prefers to be a follower instead of a leader? I don't know if that makes sense..🥹

Ty so much for waiting anon (if you're still here?) I started looking back at old requests and I'm just like YEAH dunno why I waited so long on this omg. Please accept my thoughts on this MC!

Bael: He's seen MC's potential when they stepped in to help him out when Beelzebub decided to cause a ruckus in Abyssos and ditch yet again. Making sure to clean up the trouble, ease the devils, Bael was impressed and wanted MC to be a permanent resident in order to keeps things going well. However, when figuring out that MC would rather be in the shadows instead of the front lines, he understood completely. Though he wouldn't mind having a break now and then, it was a lot to ask that of MC. He still makes it a point to compliment their leadership skills when it's due and remind them often that they do have the potential.

Satan: He loves a good leader that reflects his own qualities. That's why he hypes up MC all the time and even gives them free reign to order around his military and nobles just to see how they act under the pressure. Too bad MC would rather be fine as a supporter, just following Satan's command when it comes to battles or how to conduct certain practices. Satan understands, but he's still randomly throwing MC into the leadership role now and then as a surprise.

Mammon: His master is the best at everything, so it's no surprise that they would be this good with leadership roles. I mean, they even got Bimet to listen to them and that's difficult for anyone who isn't Mammon to do. But, he can see without having to ask that MC would rather be more of a support person than a leader. Mammon still compliments them and while he may have a strange way of doing it...and without a filter...his heart is in the right place.

Beelzebub: Yeah, uh good luck with trying to convince Beel that MC would rather not be the leader of his country alongside Bael. He makes it a joke each time that MC should work part-time as the ruler of Abyssos and that he can make it to where MC kinda looks similar to him too. Needless to say, MC wasn't having it. But it's not like Beel is gonna remember, but he treats it like a fun joke each time. The only place where MC isn't holding up the fort...is the bedroom.

Leviathan: He gets frustrated easily when MC doubts themselves. He'd even be inclined to agree, that they don't have what it takes. But he doesn't truly think that about MC, in fact he hopes someday that they can get out of their head and be more of a leader and showcase those abilities to the fullest. He encourages them to spend more time with him, and perhaps he can influence that to a certain extent. Though...sometimes he's fine with MC being a subordinate under him. To think if they surpassed him...

Lucifer: Naturally, he doesn't want MC to do anything they aren't comfortable with so he understands when they would rather be on the support team helping out the healers and following orders. He knows what it's like being a leader in both Heaven and in Paradise Lost and it can get quite exhausting. He supports MC in any way possible, and compliments them when they do well and want affirmation.

Belphegor: Well, since this king is asleep majority of the time and leaves things up to his right hand noble, Beleth there's really not much to discuss about MC not being a leader. He can't really be bothered with it, so in short MC just supports Beleth and helps him with whatever he needs. They thought they'd get more relief with how things are run in Nifelheim but turns out it's just because it's Beleth and Belphie's teamwork that gets things done. So much for that!

Asmodeus: A leader? Well he thinks that mindset is adorable. He likes watching MC use their potential to the fullest, but in actuality he's just getting off mentally to their determination. When they aren't feeling like their skills are the best, he's right there to say he's got it, and boy does he. Asmo doesn't mind being the leader in just about everything. MC won't have to worry for a thing, the battles lasting mere seconds when it comes to having Asmo around. His favorite human just has to listen to him and the rest will follow. Maybe...MC should consider being a leader sometimes to resist his charms? Maybe...