#there's barely anything about her and what we are given we then have to interpret to fill in the blanks

[clownishshit]

something that I thought was a bit of a missed opportunity A Court of Thorns and Roses series is that the world building doesn't really feel like a fantasy world sometimes and takes you out of the immersion or that things aren't fully fleshed out with certain characters.

[shalscumbunny]

For what reasons would members of the Gen'ei Ryodan impregnate their S/O?

TW: Mentions of forced relationship, forced pregnancy, gestation, breeding kink, body changes, parenthood, children, possible threat to children

Phinks:

It is the type of couple that is extremely overprotective, at the same time that it is extremely dominant, there is no better way of dominance than to impregnate your beloved, leave her plump and unable to do anything, so that she does not do anything stupid, nothing bad happens to her and there is no doubt that he is your absolute owner because you are carrying HIS child, and the idea of fucking you pregnant isn't something he's going to refuse either, he likes the idea, I'll just say that and of course he will love his child, I feel that he is the type of man to whom being a father comes naturally.

Feitan:

I don't feel that Feitan understands that concept of "family" and "parenting" and he doesn't care much either and if you're not very interested in the subject, pregnacy is not something that is going to happen, BUT, if we go to his sickest and most twisted side, especially the sadistic one and mixing it with a yandere or quite sick theme, if he sees that the idea of getting pregnant from him terrifies you as he is your captor, he is going to impregnate you with desire and on purpose, just to fuck you, torture you and well, in the process he will mark territory, by fucking you he will torture with the idea, if he achieves his goal now he only has the same thing left, making you feel bad, making you feel guilty, but he will probably still take care of you since in the end you are valuable to him.

Uvogin:

He barely fell in love with you, he knew that you were going to be the mother of his 78 children, Uvogin is the stereotype of a man who wants to get you pregnant 24/7, it won't even be two months after you have given birth before you are already pregnant again, he simply likes it because it is a way to keep you by his side, dominate you and take ownership of you. He has a fairly activated reproductive instinct due to his barbaric and somewhat animal nature. He's excited about getting you pregnant, he's excited about having you pregnant, he's excited about being able to fuck you when you're swollen with his babies. Added to that he may be a horrible person, a thief, a murderer and many other things, but it comes naturally to him to be a father, he loves his children, all of them.

Nobunaga:

The truth is that I feel that Nobunaga is one of these characters with the authentic desire to one day have children, he likes the idea of ​​raising little swordsmen who run from one place to another simulating an epic and legendary duel and there is no better way to join the love of your life than forming a family (That's what he thinks) It doesn't matter much if you agree, it will still happen.

He is going to get you pregnant, he is going to take care of you and he will do everything humanly possible to be with you, of course I also emphasize that probably doing it with you even if you are pregnant, it is quite exciting for him.

Franklin:

I wouldn't know how to interpret him very well in fact, I feel that he is not someone who is dying to be a father but he also does not hate the idea and if you ask him he will listen to you, he will take great care of you and his little ones. (I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT FRANKLIN, FORGIVE ME FRANKLIN FANS!)

Illumi:

The same as with Uvogin, but somewhat different. He would say that he has a fairly marked kink breeding because in his family he has seen it as common and necessary to have many children (he literally has 4 siblings). When he fell in love with you the next thing in his brain was to imagine the family he would have with you as soon as possible. Once you are together (Whether by marriage or kidnapping) Illumi will probably have locked himself in the room with you until he makes sure that you are pregnant, Illumi never shows his emotions, but when he is fucking you and has you tightly grabbed, his body trembles of the emotion and excitement of being able to get you pregnant. Once you are very pregnant and swollen, he won't stop fucking you either (As long as your child is safe), he can simply become more obsessed with you now that you are carrying his baby. If everything goes well, I estimate at least 7 pregnancies, furthermore, all these pregnancies are going to be followed, as soon as you give birth, it will be a matter of time before he impregnates you again.

Hisoka:

I don't find any logical reason, he likes the idea of ​​having a partner, but not forming a "family." The only reason I can find is that in his moments of madness and revenge.

Especially if he has already left the Gen'ei Ryodan and wants revenge, if you are a partner of one of them, he will impregnate you with hatred and desire but only for revenge.

Shalnark:

I think we have already talked about this in this profile multiple times but we will do it again.

Shalnark doesn't want kids, he hates kids, he hates kids grabbing his things, he hates not being the focus of your attention and everything related to pregnancy and having kids.

BUT

It is an idea that he can consider in the same way, if he consider that you have problems in the relationship, he will consider an alternative to soften you and tie you down.

In other situation, if you mention it to him, obviously you have to beg him if you are the one who wants to have children, but if you are convincing, you will have your child.

But Shalnark is cruel and twisted in nature, I don't think he is someone who loves his children in a paternal way, he probably sees them as a pet and will appreciate them (Also as something to blackmail and threaten you with).

Chrollo:

Chrollo is a being of curious, selfish and greedy nature, a being rejected by the world. I think he has that desire to form a family and ABOVE ALL, have a child, it is something that will finally be authentically HIS.

It's not that he KILLS to get you pregnant or it's a mortal necessity (Like Uvogin to Illumi) but it's a recurring thought.

It doesn't matter if you agree or not, he's still going to get you pregnant when he can. He is going to push hard into your pussy and he is going to cling to your body telling you how beautiful mother you are going to be and how he is not going to stop until you are all swollen and pretty, that you will be his queen and that he will do everything for you.

Simply love your pregnancy, love hugging your belly, talking to it and planting soft kisses on it.

Thanks for reading this shit 🤍

[ezra-editss]

Just watched X-men Apocalypse. What the hell.

Okay, so I kinda have a take on all this and idk if that's just how it feels to me, but that's what I wanna know. (I don't think this actually happened, but it's the vibes it is all giving)

So it started when I told my mom about First Class (keep reading I'm gonna get to apocalypse eventually) and we came to the conclusion that it feels like they wrote the script, looked at it again and thought:

"Hmm, this seems pretty gay.. Erik and Charles both have no female love interests and they have those lines that seem pretty romantic. Also, Erik seems almost obsessed with Charles at the end with how overprotective he is. Let's fix that!"

And then they gave both of them a kiss with a woman they weren't interested in and added the line "We're brothers, you and I" and then were proud of how well they "saved" it.

And then they made Days of Future Past and didn't even think of it, but when it came out they saw how people were shipping it and then they were like "oh shitt"

And in the first hour of the movie, I thought they were just doing all of this stuff to "erase" any potential gayness people thought there was and wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong idea about the recent movies. But it was more the reminder they like women, before the EXTREME GAYNESS in the second half.

(This is getting so much more unserious than initially intended💀)

Anyways, Apocalypse.

Either I missed something or Erik settling down and HIDING makes NO SENSE. In the last timeline it was 100% clear that he'd never stop believing in what he did, he would never stop fighting his war. So yes, this is a different timeline, but there is no reason given why he suddenly decides to try Charles way. He failed in Days of Future Past and Charles let him go, but there is no way that's enough. And they played this off like that isn't the thing they both wanted since forever and never seemed possible. Being on the same side. Erik switching to Charles side is insane, why wouldn't he talk to Charles in all those years then?

I can't believe they threw away everything that IS Erik, just so he had a reason to be angry enough to join the guy.

(They also died in such a weird/lame way)

And Charles and I still don't really know her name😭.. I have to admit the scenes where Charles was nervous were cute, but that's just because Charles is adorable. But in First Class she was obviously only there for the plot, in Days of Future Past, she wasn't even mentioned and in Apocalypse, she was, again, only there for the plot. She literally doesn't say anything the entire movie after the beginning. She has like two lines. And in the end fight, she's just standing there. And then Charles makes her remember and the flashbacks are soo bad, BC THEY HAD NO MOMENTS. (Especially bc you can compare it to Erik's flashbacks, we're gonna get to that)

(I don't think I have to say it, but to be sure. I have absolutely nothing against straight couples. I don't care if it's gay or not. But if one of them were a woman, I wouldn't be writing this. I just hate how often they prefer to write a heterosexual couple that has no chemistry at all instead of making the two guys/girls kiss.)

Let's talk about the ending. Sometimes when I talk about this stuff I'm a little worried that I interpret things wrong bc I want it to be like that and I'm not being objective anymore, but I was proven right so many times in this. When Mystique and Erik kissed in First Class, it felt really weird to me because Erik obviously had no interest in her. (I suppose it was to show her she's beautiful) And that was pretty much proven right when she talks to him and he barely reacts to what she's saying. I also thought that he probably didn't know Charles was dying, bc he wouldn't let that happen. Then Mystique says "Charles" and suddenly he does show a reaction and when she's gone, he has those god damn flashbacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC PLOT?😭 and then the specific one of Charles turning away and leaving him. (Could be a metaphor for Charles giving up on him) THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM.

And they make it even more clear when Mystique is dying and Erik doesn't react, but when Charles is dying, is when he steps in.

Ending was cute, but damnn the "you can make me do anything" was crazy.

(This turned out soo long, I've never been so obsessed with something.)

[beepboopkek]

— I will always come to your aid (AFAB!Reader)

AMAB!Reader has also been posted! including: Jing Yuan cw: !!NSFW!!, afab!reader, grammar and spelling errors possible, pwp but barely, hinted that reader has a s1ze k1nk, f1ng3r1ng, reader is a little sarcastic, still spreading my Jing Yuan is a Bastard (affectionate) agenda, masturbat1on, getting caught masturbat1ng, d1rty talk, cum eat1ng, no use of y/n, reader can be interpreted as the trailblazer but they are NOT stelle/caelus, safe sane and consensual w/c: 2k a/n: people liked strip starchess so much so here is another one of my brainrots... i dont usually like this troupe that much but i find myself excusing anything and everything for jing yuan so here we are. for my male reader likers i got u, its being posted right after this so you guys can enjoy too :3. also just remember that this is NOT stelle/caelus, its the you haha, i dont like shipping the raccoons with anyone as a personal pref so im just making that clear :3. anyways same warning as last time this is like my third time writing smut and also english isnty my first language. enjoy!!

The crisis on the Xianzhou Luofu was mostly over.

Which meant you had to leave the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.

Well— love may be an exaggeration but you weren't fucking around when it came to him.

Jing Yuan.

Your eyes had been hooked onto him the second you two met, his pleasant smile, his calm demeanor, his body—fuck, everything about him enamored you.

You could only wish that there was some other universe where he reciprocated your feelings.

You departed with a respectful nod of the head, despite wanting to smoosh your face between his pecs and cry about never getting to see them again.

The only hope that you did have though, was the jade abacus he had gifted you and your companions.

“No matter how astronomically distant you are, The Luofu Cloud Knights will always come to the aid of the Crew, whatever your need may be.”

Of course, his next sentence was to not use it for trivial matters when he saw March’s reaction, much to your amusement.

There was a discussion on who should keep the jade abacus, March being ruled out first much to her annoyance.

It landed between you and Dan Heng and given his history with the Xianzhou Luofu, he handed it to you.

That's how you ended up here, standing in front of your locked door with the abacus in your hand.

What if you grip it— You need to rinse your brain with cold water at this point…

You flopped onto bed, letting the exhaustion of the day seep into your bones as the plush blanket and pillows surrounded you.

You threw the abacus to your side, you'll take care of it later, not like you're gonna need it right now anyway.

Your mind flooded with images of Jing Yuan, his voice and everything you had been through together.

Fuck.

Your hand drifted towards your pussy, already feeling some wetness gathering at the thought of what you were about to do.

— Touch yourself to the thought of the General of the Cloud Knights on the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the most powerful beings to ever exist in history.

You shook your doubts away, he's just Jing Yuan to you.

You took off your shorts in record speed, tossing your panties along with it.

You never really touched yourself that often so you tried to imagine your hand being his instead.

You rubbed your clit, gasping at the cold touch of your fingers on the warm flesh.

How would he touch you?

He'd take his time, surely. He's not one to rush things— He'd work you open slowly for his cock—fuck, you're sure it's in proportion with how goddamn large his body is.

You moaned as you inserted two fingers inside you. You wanted to imagine Jing Yuan doing it, really, But, you also wanted an orgasm quickly so you can sleep. So, you just decided to go with imagining his voice talking to you.

You pistoned your fingers in and out, curling them at the spot only you could reach with your much smaller hands.

It was too intense, the thought of his deep voice guiding you through was enough to get your orgasm to graze along the edges of  your belly slowly, building up to be a strong one.

You grabbed the blanket next to you, gripping it tightly as you whispered Jing Yuan's name and continued thrusting your fingers inside you.

You swear the normal part of your brain recognised you gripping an object while gripping the blanket as well but you were genuinely too out of it to care in the slightest.

You're just about to orgasm when everything in your room rattles, as if there's an earthquake. 

Which should be impossible considering you are literally on a massive train that travels through space.

You let go of the blanket and sit up in shock, looking around to see what happened.

…With your fingers still inside you.

“Followers of the Nameless, I am here to assist you, tell me about the situ— Oh.”

You blinked.

Jing Yuan blinked.

Oh. Fuck.

You scrambled, ripping your fingers out and slapping your lower half with a pillow.

“J-Jing Yuan I-” 

You gulped, trying to calm your racing heart, you just got caught masturbating by your crush.

Life is going great.

Your cheeks and ears were beet red now, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to say something, anything to get you out of this situation.

Jing Yuan was just as surprised, if not astonished, by the scene that had unfolded in front of him.

He was finishing up some paperwork that Lady Fu had so kindly delivered to him in the Alchemy Commission when suddenly, the jade abacus he had clipped to his belt loop started vibrating.

Not one to panic, he quickly unhooked it and got it closer to his ear, so that he could hear what the Express were asking of.

What he didn't expect was to hear the voice of his crush, the one that he has acquired after decades of not entertaining any romantic relationships, whispering and calling out his name.

Okay, maybe now he should panic.

Without a second thought, Jing Yuan summoned his weapon and gripped the jade abacus back, signaling it to teleport him to your location.

Paperwork be damned he would rather lose a hundred years of his life if it mean you would be safe.

That landed him here, in front of a half-naked (and very surprised) you.

He dissolved his weapon into thin air and folded his arms against his chest.

“Well, this is a surprise.”

“Wow, you don't say.”

Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at your tone.

“S-sorry, I don't know how you got here.”

An interesting turn of events.

“... Did you not call for me?”

“No, Why would I? Even if I did, how did you just…magically appear here?”

“Oh, dear.”

“What?”

“The jade abacus. I think you… I think you gripped it while you were…busy.”

He looked into your eyes and back down at the pillow that was barely covering your lower half.

“The jade aba—” 

You cut yourself off, turning to your side to where you had thrown it, only to find the wretched object to be in the center of your crumpled blanket.

“Fuck.” 

“Jing Yuan— I am so, so , so, sorry, I swear this was an honest mistake and I'll—”

Jing Yuan cut you off with the raise of his hand. “I forgive you.” “Really? Great let me j—”

“On one condition.” Of course there’s a catch. You sighed begrudgingly.

“What do you need help with?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” Your eyes widened but before you could let out your protests, Jing Yuan spoke up again. “You let me help you finish.” The gall of this man.You’re still going to take the chance that he doesn’t know what you were doing. “Finish what?”

You tried to sound innocent but your voice came out breathier than you wanted it to be. “Dont play coy now, you know exactly what I mean.” Your face burnt in embarrassment as you looked away. Jing Yuan dragged your desk chair and got it to the front of your bed before sitting down and making himself comfortable, propping one leg on the other and leaning back. “Go on, show me exactly what you were doing before I got here,hm?” “I can’t.” Jing Yuan paused, shit, had he misread the situation? Maybe he should—

“I can’t do it without you.” You had covered your red face at this point, way too embarrassed to look him in the eye while speaking. Jing Yuan just about lost it at that, abandoning all doubt and pouncing on you, grabbing your face to take you in a devouring kiss. He threw the pillow covering your bottom half in a random direction, quickly pecking you on the cheeks before pulling your hand over his. “Guide me.” You nodded shyly and pushed his hand towards your dripping pussy again. Fuck. His hands were just the way you imagined them. Warm and big, enough to hold your own two hands.

His hand (under your guidance and insistence) cupped your pussy and grinded the heel of his palm into your sensitive clit. “I’ve barely touched you, were you this wet while we were talking,hm? Did it turn you on to have me catch you in such an embarrassing state?” Jing Yuan whispered in your ear as he hovered over you and you thanked every aeon known for this opportunity because fuck, your imagination did not do any justice to how good the general was. Jing Yuan dipped the tip of his finger in your core, not entering but adding just enough stimulation for you to feel something there.

“Answer me.”

“No, I swear I didn’t, Jing Yuan, please—”

Jing Yuan smiled, he didn’t know you would be this easy to subdue.

He gently thrusted his finger inside, watching your face for any discomfort or resistance.

But, he was only met with your blissed out face, as you gasped in pleasure from his ministartions.

“Were you able to reach here?” He curled his finger upwards, hitting your sensitive spot just right.

You threw your hand over your mouth, pinching your mouth shut and praying, once again, to all the aeons you knew that the other passengers on the Express were dead asleep and couldn’t hear you. Granted, your room was the last in the carriage and had a decent amount of sound proofing but, you were still not risking it.

Your snapped out of your worries when Jing Yuan pushed in another finger alongside the one that was already in you.

“It looks like you’re getting distracted, maybe I’m not doing my job well enough?”

“N—Fuck, Its good, I’m sorry—Shit—”

Jing yuan simply kissed your head affectionately like he wasnt fingering you to hell and back right now and picked up the pace of his fingers.

Your hand was just gripping his wrist and you werent sure if it was to egg him to continue or get him to slow down and stop.

Maybe both.

Your head rolled back on the bed, exposing your bare neck to Jing Yuan as he immediately took the opportunity to cover your neck in kisses, Aeons be dammed. There's no way hes letting you walk out of this room unmarked and not carrying any proof of the evening you spent with him.

You gasped as your orgasm finally, finally overtook you. You shook in the general’s grasp as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out, drawing out the pleasure.

Taking his soaked fingers out, he popped them in his mouth, savouring the taste while you recovered from the intense bout of sensations you just went through.

You propped yourself up on your elbows again, looking at Jing Yuan owlishly as your head cleared from the horniness.

Jing Yuan only smiled at you before holding your head and kissing your forehead again before gathering you in his arms.

“Call me old fashioned or old but I do believe in the proper process of courting someone and,”

He looked into your eyes as he cupped your face in one palm and brushed the thumb along the seam of your chin.

“I think we skipped a few steps.”

“Yeah, no shit, general.”

He laughed at that, his chest shaking as the deep sound rumbled from his throat, you blushed again.

You were in the arms of the man you’ve wanted to kiss since you stepped foot on the Xianzhou ship.

You covered your burning face with your palms again as Jing Yuan’s laughter died down into little chuckles.

“We did all of that and youre getting shy now?”

“Shut up. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

“Wanted what? To get fingered by me?”

“No! — I mean that too, I guess, but I meant being held by you! Stop playing games, Jing Yuan.”

Jing Yuan only laughed as he took his free hand and grabbed your hands, turning them towards him one after the other and kissing the palm.

“I jest, I jest. But, I must stay here for the night. I’m afraid I cant travel back to the Xianzhou Luofu seeing as we aren’t closeby.”

You smiled.

Jing Yuan’s eyes twinkled in mischief right back at you.

“Be my guest.”

[cashmere-caveman]

read a post about there being next to no record abt the historic edward little again (we dont even know what he looked like!!!) and now im thinking a lot about how he died in uniform again.

hes far from the only character to die in uniform (the marines die in uniform! franklin dies in uniform!) and he isn't even the only lieutenant to do so (gore, under his slops, was in uniform; fairholme, too presumably; irving famously wore his coat that hickey steals later; george wore something that used to be his uniform when he got eaten but imo atp he did not wear it as A Uniform anymore that were just the clothes that he had on if that makes sense) but at the end, he is the only one where i still felt that it was an active choice to wear it.

almost everyone else sheds their layers along the way or turns into something else, but ned starts in uniform and he stays in uniform and that's it.

fitzjames famously sheds his vanity and dies in his shirtsleeves, without any of the pomp and pizzazz of his uniform.

jopson, another character who is to me really connected with a certain mindset of holding up appearances, dies in his shirtsleeves, believing himself abandoned by the very person that was his reason to even wear a uniform at all.

goodsir as a doctor/assistant surgeon doesn't really have a uniform in quite the same sense as many others but when he dresses himself before his suicide it is not as an affirmation of his role, or at least not a positive one. he has sworn to do no harm, but he was forced to do it anyway and now he will add a final evil to his toll of sins in the hopes to balance the scales at least somewhat and for that to work, he must wear his outfit as always. he ends up with all pretenses stripped bare anyway.

tozer, a man so proud of his uniform in the beginning, again, dies in his shirtsleeves, no rank left, betrayed by someone who had convinced him to give up everything and yet! reduced to nothing but an ordinary man, he tries again where before he had given up. he cooperates, he coordinates, he even calls crozier captain again, he tries very hard to do the right thing in what looks like a no win scenario from the get go!! and he fails, of course, but he tried.

almost everyone else also ends up either dressed down (bridgens, armitage, dundy, des voeux etc) or somehow transformed (blanky, to some extend silna with her patched and bloody furs) or in hickeys case, both (iconic underwear & greatcoat combo). little never changes. he sometimes has a little scarf, theres the bandage for his headwound for a bit, he sometimes wears the full parade uniform with epaulettes and sometimes just the regular one, there are at least two different uniform hats and ofc you can tell that he loses weight by the way his shape chages under all that wool but he is always. in. uniform.

and maybe this is just my mind making up dots to connect but i think he might even be the last character that crozier ever gives an order to in his official function as a captain (in the tuunbaq seduction/boss fight scene he has been stripped of his rank, at least according to e.c.).

before his final scene, all we get is little arguing over the orders they are given, and how to interpret them. and he is still wearing his uniform!!! wait hold on im not gonna check but maybe he might only wear a jumper in the tent where dundy lauches his soft mutiny actually, so maybe this whole post is crumbling like a domino line but!!! ignoring this. moving on. (even if it is a jumper i remember him wearing sth dark blue aka Uniform Colour so im claiming it doesnt even matter bc spiritually that hypothetical jumper still is a uniform. im not going to let anything like "accuracy" and "real details" fuck up my post smh 🙄. im joking. however! Moving On as i said) (edit: i rewatched the scene and it IS his uniform actually, just v rumpled. going insane btw)

he doesnt even dress up for carnivale! the only other characters that are not in costume are jopson and crozier and they were literally too busy keeping crozier from dying to even begin thinking about joining the communal arts and crafts session! little is atp the acting no2 of the expedition so u might say he was busy but fitzjames has the overall command and still finds time to have a little gender moment in private and the imperialism-approved version of it for the Big Crowd!! (u could ofc argue that fitzy Always has time for a gender moment and who would i be to argue but my point is: i have no doubt that man was fucking busy preparing carnivale & beginning to prepare the walkout and there still was time to Express Some Character!! so how come ned didn't do anything?)

the one other scene we get where we can catch a small glimpse of characters out of their element before it all unravels (pre tuunbaq attack on the camp) is the scene at night when morfin gets shot. it shows lots of characters in various states of undress (silna big blanket burrito i love you) that allows us to see them differently, like their costumes at carnivale did, but in an entirely opposite direction. while carnivale was about putting on masks, this scene is about taking them off. and it drives me insane because i know that little must be there. he is somewhere in the crowd when morfin gets shot but so far i havent been able to make him out and i need to know what he is wearing so bad. it is actually for science (my own curiosity) ! i really need to know. and i cant help but feel that maybe it is intentional that he is just ~somewhere~ instead of In Front of the Fucking Camera because, well. that would be just ned little, wouldnt it? and we dont even know who that is.

[naomi-the-red]

I actually really like how Sanderson has barely given us any focus on the other radiants in the various orders and focusing on our core cast. I believe he’s said we’ll get to see more “average” radiants in the back half, so my interpretation is that our core cast represents not the best or even baseline of the order, but rather the exact kind of person who needs those ideals, but hasn’t embodied them.

Spoilers ahead

Kaladin doesn’t become a Windrunner as a Soldier fighting valiantly with his squad; it’s him desperately trying to free his fellow bridgemen and needing just a bit more something to be the person he knows he should (one who can protect).

Szeth doesn’t become a Skybreaker while being a lawyer clerk of the court, or perhaps whatever his position was before being made Truthless. Indeed being Truthless couldn’t put him further at odds with law and order. But he needs it, especially when the only think holding order in his life is revealed to be a sham.

Lift has the grace of a greased ferret. Okay a little less jokey, Lift lives a life of pure ephemerality. She is forgotten and is usually taken aback or a bit offended when that isn’t the case (the cook leaving food for her). We don’t get to see her bond Wyndle, but her being a drifter and taking whatever she can stuff her face with doesn’t exactly scream austere empathetic man of the people that you’d expect from an Edgedancer.

Renarin is a Truthwatcher who is plagued by the inability to articulate what he knows to be true. He rarely finds the words, and usually ends up playing the role of a Cassandra; one who speaks truth that falls on closed ears.

Venli as a Willshaper is supposed to represent freedom and autonomy, all while she enslaves her people to a false god she knows is bent on anything but saving them all. She is the catalyst of the chains that have re-bound Roshar in endless war and she had given up on doing anything about it.

Shallan lacks finesse and refinement. Constantly going for the low hanging fruit of creativity than something more meaningful and artistic, meanwhile losing herself in her assumptions and delusional thinking (Kabsal, Taravangian, and Jasnah are all deceiving Shallan during this period of growth.)

While radiants like Shallan and Kaladin have mostly risen beyond their circumstances, do not forgot what brought each radiant there. It was not them being an Ideal Radiant, it was them needing to be made Radiant.

[antianakin]

Yo. What are your thoughts on people who unironically claim that - prior to his talk with Yoda - Luke was right about the Jedi Order in TLJ?

There's definitely other people who can probably discuss this more eloquently than I can, but basically the argument I've seen that works the best for me is that the whole point of Luke's journey in TLJ is that he's WRONG. Luke loses himself to his own fear and grief, and that turns him into a bitter, resentful person. And what we often see when people hit that sort of rock bottom point is that they refuse to be truly mindful and self-reflective and instead turn their fear into anger and then lash out at someone else just to have someone to blame that isn't themselves. And, within the context of Star Wars, the Jedi so often end up that scapegoat. There's even a pattern I've pointed out in other posts of Jedi choosing to turn on their own when they lose themselves to darkness (Krell, Barriss, Malicos, even Bode to some degree, and obviously Anakin).

But just because the Jedi often end up scapegoats for other people's failures doesn't actually mean these people are RIGHT to blame the Jedi for the galaxy's woes.

It also would quite honestly just make zero sense if Luke was right because he talks about wanting the Jedi to all die out, he wants there to be NO MORE Jedi at all, and then the end of the film is that Rey goes on to continue being a Jedi and Luke makes the big declaration that he won't be the last Jedi as a triumph over Kylo and the First Order. None of that seems to indicate that Rey continuing to become a Jedi is a BAD THING the way Luke would have thought earlier in the movie. So if Rey becoming a Jedi is a good thing, then it automatically means Luke thinking all the Jedi should die with him was WRONG. This is basic media literacy.

Luke is unkind and cruel and insensitive throughout the entirety of his interactions with Rey. And he is very DELIBERATELY written this way, you're supposed to be sort-of taken aback and cringing away from this version of Luke. This version of Luke is broken and warped from the person we last knew him to be. This is not a kindly master of any kind, so why would we listen to anything he has to say while in this mindset?

One of the other things done in TLJ to really slam home that Luke's perspective on things isn't always trustworthy is the comparison between the two flashbacks to Kylo's turn. Luke and Kylo both have very different versions of that night and so it's implied that we cannot necessarily just take Luke at his word when he says things. Luke is not an inherently trustworthy person anymore. So when he says shit like "The Jedi should die with me" it's said within the context we are being given that Luke is now untrustworthy and consumed with bitterness, so EVERYTHING HE SAYS has to be taken with a bucket of salt.

Luke isn't right about the Jedi, he can't be in order for any part of his story to make any sense and for the ending of the film to be in any way satisfying.

What I WILL say though is that this entire storyline is pure bullshit anyway and executed in the worst way possible. It's written in such a way that it's not hard to see WHY people would jump to the interpretation that Luke was right about the Jedi. I hate that they have Luke saying these things to begin with, I hate that his entire relationship with Rey consists of Luke being an asshole and refusing to teach her anything except how awful the Jedi were when he barely even ever KNEW the Jedi. This feels like a character assassination of Luke for no good reason. Making Luke into a broken hero completely sidelined Rey in her own story and made that entire plot about LUKE'S growth instead of Rey's. So not only is it really jarring and uncomfortable to see Luke as a bitter old man instead of a wise master, it's an absolutely shit writing decision that sidelines the first main female character of a Star Wars movie in order to focus on a man. Making Luke a kind, wise master would have forced the story to focus on REY and REY'S fears and doubts and REY'S growth and development into being a Jedi because Luke has ALREADY HAS HIS FUCKING STORY TOLD AND DOESN'T NEED TO GO THROUGH IT A SECOND TIME.

There's just so much that is badly done about this storyline, so I can't really blame people for reading it as "Luke was right about the Jedi being bad and it's good that Rey is going to be a Jedi only because she's going to be a different KIND of Jedi that is better." It's so so awful and I appreciate that TROS tried to fix it by making ghost!Luke a kindly master who retracts some of his statements about the Jedi when he sees Rey again, but the damage was already done and it was too late. That being said, I do think that despite how badly it's written, the intent is that Luke is WRONG and he is very much an unreliable narrator in TLJ and people don't really pick up on that in their interpretations.

[do-it-for-the-fandom]

Saturday September 8th, 2012.

"You called it," Castle sighed as he climbed into his side of the bed. "A million questions."

"I think it was a million and one, actually."

They laughed, despite the total lack of anything amusing.

Alexis had taken the news exactly as expected. Tears had filled her eyes for only a second before she blinked them away and began a rapid fire of questions.

What type of cancer? What stage? What is the plan of attack?

Are the doctors nice? Do they explain everything properly or do they ramble on with a million medical terms you don't fully understand? Are they the tops of their respective fields?

How are you feeling? Are you getting any counselling? Can Detective Beckett handle this?

That last question had taken all three adults by surprise.

Can Detective Beckett handle this?

It - along with several of the other questions the girl had spit out in such a short amount of time - had gone unanswered. But unlike the other unanswered questions, this one seemed to linger in the air like a foul smell. It's presence made everyone uncomfortable, but there was no getting rid of it now.

Can Detective Beckett handle this?

Truthfully, she wasn't entirely convinced that she could. Already, she was grappling with this sense of losing all control. Castle was sick - really sick - and it was only going to get worse before it got better. The doctors had given him a thorough rundown of what to expect and it seemed grim. Nausea, pain, weakness. Not to mention the mental toll this was all going to take. And all she could do was sit by and watch as he fought this battle.

There was a heaviness in her chest that seemed to double in weight with each day that passed. Because, despite everyone's optimism, there was a very real chance that the treatment wouldn't work.

"Worst case scenario: we keep you comfortable," Dr Abebe said solemnly.

Castle had promised her it wouldn't come to that but they both knew that was out of his control. And she hated that. She hated that they were both helpless to change the outcome. All they could do was wait and hope for the best.

She closed her eyes and slowly exhaled, let her body melt into the pillows behind her.

"You know-"

She opened her eyes and turned to look at Castle. He was studying her, concern flaring in his eyes.

"You know she didn't mean it in a bad way, right?"

"I don't see how else it could have been interpreted," she responded. She wasn't mad at Alexis: it was a fair concern. "She didn't ask if Martha could handle it."

"She doesn't think that you're-" He hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Weak."

"I know what she thinks, Castle."

Castle sighed and placed his hand on Beckett's thigh. "This isn't exactly what you signed up for."

"Stop." She knew exactly where he was going with this conversation; she'd been expecting it since their discussions with Dr. Abebe on Thursday.

After the age of forty, the chances of recovering fertility significantly decreases.

She had kept her attention on the fact sheet in her hands but there was an ever-present awareness of Castle's eyes on her. His gaze burned her skin, hotter than the sun. They were yet to discuss the possibility of starting a family together. They thought they had all the time in the world. But now, in less than 40 hours, yet another decision could be taken away from them.

"We have to talk about it, Kate."

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

Why?

Why did they have to talk about it?

Why did this have to be happening at all?

"I understand," he said softly, his voice barely a whisper. "I know that you've never really been the kind of girl who dreams of their future children but-" He swallowed, tried to rid his voice of the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. "One day you might decide-"

Beckett silenced him with a kiss. Soft, sweet, sad.

"I love you," she whispered. "In sickness and in health, right?"

Castle shook his head, but smiled. "That's marriage," he corrected.

"No," she argued. "That's us. The good and the bad, we do it together. Always."

Can Detective Beckett handle this?

Honestly, she wasn't sure. But she sure as hell would try.

"Always."

[bestworstcase]

What specifically makes you say that the Ozpin circle is basically a cult?

not "basically" a cult—it is a cult.

ozpin's inner circle is a religious organization dedicated to safeguarding four divine relics entrusted to their leader, who is literally the god of light's chosen one, until he deems humanity prepared for the final judgment. its notionally secular nature likely exists because ozma figured out that publicly doing this:

“The others cheered in agreement. The man considered. He had wanted to bring people together, and his efforts were finally bearing fruit. The accidental experiment was working, far better than any attempts he had planned in his previous lifetimes. “The people here believe in magic, though many have never seen it,” she said. “If you show everyone that it’s real, that the man with infinite lifetimes has returned as he promised—” [...] “She shook her head. “We trust in you and the fate you’ve laid out for us. We believe in the good of people and our shared responsibility to protect one another and Remnant. So many have heard our stories about you, but now you’re here, in the flesh. Your presence is living proof that everything you’ve said is true. It reinforces our beliefs and commitment to the Circle. Together, now, we will make ready for the final judgment.” [...] “And for a time, all that the woman had said seemed to come true. Many more followers flocked to Circle and their reputation and message spread all throughout Remnant. This was what he was here for, he thought. Perhaps, in the end, he would be able to rest.”

inevitably leads to conflict because, surprise! people don't like being told what to do by eschatological cults!

but ozpin's circle is not in fact secular��ozpin tells his hand-picked loyalists that the gods he serves are the Only True Gods and the whole point is that he's working to fulfill the mandate given to him by the god of light. the huntsmen academies are, inescapably, a religious institution.

moreover ozpin's circle is a cult not just in the broader sense of being religious in nature and dedicated to worship of a particular god but also in the narrower modern connotation of a high-control group organized around a charismatic leader. this is not a matter of interpretation; this is overt text. half the point of pyrrha's arc in V3 is to reveal this fact.

members of his inner circle are expected to work in absolute secrecy and—evinced by the antagonism between qrow and ironwood in V2-3, and the immediate suspicion of lionheart in V5—subject to intense scrutiny by other members against the possibility of betrayal. likewise, pyrrha is deliberately isolated from her peers (primarily through secrecy) and put under immense pressure when ozpin et al attempt to recruit her as their next fall maiden—all without informing her of anything beyond the very bare minimum facts of what they want her to do. "we can fill you in on the details once we know that you're with us."

and like. with the way those scenes in V3 are framed, with the very direct line drawn between ozpin's ruinous paranoia and secrecy and preoccupation with betrayal and ironwood's ruinous obsession with loyalty, and with the whole thing where the narrative continues to highlight how deeply and profoundly traumatized everyone who comes into contact with the inner circle ends up being... like, this is the intended reading. it is so unsubtle.

salem's circle is also a cult in the religious sense—she's, er, very explicitly receiving cult from tyrian and i would argue at least notionally from the others as well—and while it remains to be seen to what extent tyrian's belief that she would send him to hunt down anyone who left is grounded in reality, at a minimum she doesn't bother to do anything about it so the implicit threat is there to keep people in line.

[rainbow-crane]

I'm feeling like being controversial today. Here, take some DR character opinions. Clutch your pearls besties

17- Makoto. I feel nothing for this character, in any positive or negative direction. To me, he's only ever been the vessel for which THH takes place for the player. That's kind of it. Bro is just chilling. (Note: these opinions are exclusive to the THH game.)

16- Leon. He suffers from what I like to call chapter 1 syndrome. Not only was he killed extremely early, but he had no plot or character significance before or after the fact in-game. I think the idea of a character that hates their talent is really interesting, and his design slaps, but he just didn't have any sticking power for me.

15- Yasuhiro. He's got funny moments here and there (the ghost bit in the ch 5 trial never fails to make me laugh) but he has no story. They don't do anything with him besides 'stupid occult man' jokes, and I can't help but feel like there was wasted potential to do something with his fortune-telling talent that was only ever used as another gag of his stupidity. Disappointing as a character, but at least he was around longer than Leon.

14- Byakuya. Asshole characters are always hit-or-miss for me, and Byakuya missed by a ton. I know he *technically* got showed up during the chapter 4 trial, but getting upstaged once and acting like nothing happened afterwards isn't enough of a character arc for me to find him surviving over so many others in the cast worth it. He's also just pretty weak as an antagonist in comparison to the others in the series(not to mention there was an objectively better option for antag in this very cast). He's the type of character I'd probably like way more in like, Ace Attorney, but here I just got so sick of hearing him speak.

13- Hifumi. I can appreciate the attempt to make a subversion of the 'perverted nerd' character, but they failed the second they actually made him a perverted nerd, even if they gave him that bare minimum ideal of rape being bad. Fanon interpretations of what could've been prop him up for me a good bit, too.

12- Mukuro. Similar to Makoto, she feels like a character that exists to serve a narrative purpose, and we never really meet her as herself in-game. Unlike Makoto, we actually got FTEs playable in the post-game that allude to a greater story with her and her doubt in despair that makes her retroactively more tragic and adds both to herself and her sister.

11- Toko. They just didn't do enough with her in THH to warrant me placing her any higher than this. I think the differences between her and Genocider are interesting, and I wish they'd been given more growth in the game instead of spending the entire game post-chapter 2 pining over and stalking Byakuya. Toko gets ranked lower because she wasn't as fun to have onscreen and I got sick of her insisting people disliked her for being ugly, even though she's pretty conventionally attractive beyond having glasses.

10- Junko. She was an incredible mastermind twist and had a ton of charisma and presence in the final trial, from her sprites to the VA's performance, but they just didn't use her enough to warrant putting her any higher than the characters above.

9- Mondo. I like the characters he's attached to more than I do Mondo himself. I like the 2-sided coin of toxic masculinity they write between him and Chihiro, and I love his relationship with Taka, but I just don't care much for him outside of what he provides for those characters. He's fine.

8- Genocider. Basically everything I said with Toko, but she's way more entertaining from her cheery and violent personality and is just more expressive and fun. I got excited whenever she came onscreen because I knew I was about to have a good time.

7- I don't think you could change Kyoko's role in the story much at all without drastically altering the game as a whole. Makoto may be the POV, but Kyoko is undoubtedly the main character of THH and not only is she the most capable member of the class, but her growth as she opens up to Y/N Makoto and puts her faith not only in the absolute truth, but also hope is beautiful to watch, especially as we get to learn the mystery of who she is and where she came from. In another world, she'd be my #1, but I've never actually shed tears for her so she ends up as low as 7th.

6- I'd say from an objective standpoint, Sakura is probably the most well-written character in THH. Her internal conflict as she's forced to play the role of spy paired with her rapidly growing relationship with Hina as she finally, finally finds someone that sees her as the woman she so desperately wants to be acknowledged as, growing past her greatest weakness- her fear- to stand up to Monokuma, and having to take the role of a fighter on for a class of people that hated her to be both victim and killer, freeing her classmates from having to become either- I think I've made my point. I still wish we'd gotten that 3rd-person fighter about Sakura.

5- When I went into THH, I fully expected Hina to be a dumb blonde character for the entire game, with no substance beyond her character design. Maybe that low expectation was what made her shoot so high up my list. She wasn't the smartest character, sure, and the game definitely focuses on her body an uncomfortable amount, but she still has an incredible arc in her relationship with Sakura. Her depiction of grief is so deeply emotional, and her sense of justice, which up until then had been alluded to but never put into her hands, became a weapon that almost took down the entire class with her tears. Not only does she lose her best friend, but she's then manipulated by Monokuma to make that pain so much worse by pinning the blame for her loss on everyone around her and herself. Her attempt of a murder-suicide of the entire class followed by the reading of Sakura's real will and her guilt and regret afterwards is one of the strongest moments of the series. I've always thought if Makoto didn't exist, Hina would've been a great choice for a protagonist for this game, since she starts with that same optimism and easygoing ability to make friends that Makoto does, but is a strong character in her dedication to her sports and fierce love of those closest to her.

4- As a trans man, Chihiro's story was a lot like looking in a mirror, especially when I was playing the game as someone who'd only just started opening the closet door. His insecurities due to his body and his attempts to forcibly feminize himself to receive acceptance and masquerade as something he wasn't was something I was intensely familiar with, and the tragedy of his finally gaining enough confidence to open up to a close friend and seek out help to try and become his true self, only to be betrayed by said friend and killed before he ever got the chance, was one of the best personal gut punches I've gotten from this series. Regardless of the transphobia and misogyny written into said storyline, he's a character I'll never not relate to. There's a ton to dive into with Chihiro's character writing, and he's one of those characters I can tear into like a raw steak and go not only into how he's treated by the show, but also by how many ways there are to write him better than the game actually did and all the different ways different corners of the fandom have treated him. (Also, to be clear, I'm not opposed to transfem Chihiros hcs, I'm using he/him bc that's what's canon.)

3- Taka. My beloved boy, underrated outside of his relationship with Mondo. I'll defend this man until the day I die, and will always believe he should've been a member of the surviving cast over Hiro. His constant uphill battle with trying to connect with and protect his classmates only to fail at every turn from his lack of understanding of social norms, going as far as to rationalize hobbies as a form of studying in his first FTE, and his pure joy in finally connecting with someone being decimated by the reality that that man went on to be a killer is so powerful. Watching him completely snap and go near comatose, only being pulled out of stasis by the news that an AI of Chihiro still exists and begging for forgiveness for not being able to prevent his death was shattering, and his fusion with his perception of Mondo pushing him over the edge only to be killed unceremoniously in the background of Celeste's plan was infuriating. This man struggled and clawed his way through the first half of the game for whatever scraps of screentime the creators would leave him, and then they tossed him out when they couldn't think of anything better to do. Justice for my man!!!

2- Celeste. Remember when I said there was a character more well-suited for the role of antagonist than Byakuya in this game? Well, this is she. Not only would she have worked as a narrative foil to the player, as Makoto and Celeste are both in the class for their luck-based talent, but she would've had a much more powerful and thematic rivalry with Kyoko, the girl who seeks out absolute truth, as the girl who wraps herself in a veil of lies. I already found her fascinating as she was, having a character that's unashamedly a bad person and follows her own ideals with no regard for the effects on the rest of the class beyond how easy it'd be to manipulate them, but her lack of regard for the class trials and refusal to cooperate could've been how she functioned as an antagonist, refusing to help the group when it didn't immediately serve her or intentionally leaving out details that put her in a bad position. Essentially, she'd function as an antagonist in a way inverse to how Kokichi functioned, which not only would've been phenomenal for THH, but for the parallel storytelling V3 later goes on to employ. That said, that's all hypothetical, but even without all of that, she's still an intriguing character that I can't stop thinking about.

1- Sayaka. I hated Sayaka when I first started playing, not because of anything she was doing, but because I didn't like how the game was seemingly gluing her to Makoto's hip. I didn't like having to slough my way through tutorial after tutorial going through her to talk to the entire rest of the class, and I didn't like being forced to burn my first FTE on her when there were other characters I wanted to learn about. I cheered when I found her body because it meant I wouldn't have to jump through hoops to speak to the other characters anymore. All that hatred dissipated as the first trial took place. Taking the cutesy sidekick girl and making her not only the first victim (something that was huge for the genre at the time) but also going on to reveal that she was actively betraying us and plotting to frame us for murder to save herself and her fellow idols was a genius move. Since then, Sayaka has become a stronger presence in my mind for this series, and her impact on the series as a whole can't be overstated. She put the first killing game into motion. She carried with her the first despair, and inspired the first hope from Makoto. Her desperation for a dream she had to fight tooth and nail for, that desire to hang onto her dream that'd kept her going for so long pushes forward everything. 11037 became a staple point for the series and the fandom, not just because of the poor western translation, but also because that was her point of regret, the guilt that stopped her from killing Leon successfully and ultimately saved everyone, her final moments being to save Makoto and the others. Every moment spent with her at the beginning is designed not just to make her seem like the desirable sidekick girl, but also to weave into your perception of her the darkness she carries on the inside, the dedication and determination to remain liked and retain her fame by any means necessary, feigning being agreeable yet still unwittingly developing genuine feelings for someone who's nothing but genuine. The money I'd pay for a prequel anime about Sayaka's rise to the title of SHSL Idol is unreasonably high.

[imaginesofeverykind]

Countermeasures

Dark Wizard! Sebastian Sallow x Baroness Reader |PT.1|

Summary: Another wizard darkens the doorstep of the Stone family Chataeu to win the favour of the Baron's daughter, only you are not the young woman people suspect you to be despite your fathers infamy as a dark wizard, you are much worse.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Implied assault/SA (not written that way but i can see how it would be interpreted as such), time period mention of child brides/young brides

A/N: I wanted to explore being a darker counterpart, not necessarily 'evil' but something thats like the evil couple who would kill for each other type beat.

”My Lady! Quickly!” The servant girl hollered in an attempt to capture your attention. It was a dreary morning as the fog settled low beneath the tallest room in the Chateau, however the grounds were just barely visible. The servant girl was all but pressed right up against the large window lavishly crafted with serpents around the frame.

Your face scrunched into annoyance, having reached a rather interesting chapter of a book from the house's extensive library, despite the disruption you humoured the servant girl, she was after all, the only one kind enough to share in your company unlike the others.

“What is it?”

“Were you expecting visitors today?” She pointed excessively on the glass in reference to the carriage that sat idle beside the fountain in front of the entrance. Visitors were far and few between these days, many people simply too afraid to leave their homes in wake of the rampant increase of dark wizard activity. The only people who even dare come seek your father were a handful of dark wizards themselves and the occasional Ministry worker snooping around.

Your father hadn’t mentioned meeting with anyone in particular on this day which usually meant what you suspected upon eyeing the figures ushering into the front doors of your abode. A smile pulled on your lips though it was sinister indeed, “it seems we have another daring individual asking The Baron for my hand.”

“Shall I escort you to the assembly room, my Lady?” The servant pulled back from the window, hands clasped behind her back and awaiting for the coveted ‘yes’ as if it were second nature.

”No not really, whatever sniveling brat wants to see me they will have to wait until I finish my reading.” You cited as if bored and reclaimed your spot on the loveseat by the fire, picking up where you left off.

“Shall I tell your father that is what you said?” She picked at her fingers nervously, never having had this response before and uncertain whether or not she wished to face The Baron's wrath at his daughter's insolence given his already prickly temper. You simply looked up over the book, locking eyes with her for a few brief seconds that felt like a lifetime and then flicked them back down to the page.

You needn’t say anything but the message got across loud and clear as the servant briskly made her exit. Despite the Chateau being cold and wicked, the servants were treated relatively fair all things considered, though the turnover rate was in excess due to both the Stone’s tempers often scaring off their workers. Servant Fae, however, remained the exception to the rule.

Fae was young, younger than most when she started at just thirteen, but she was a swift learner and had yielded somewhat of an obscene attachment to The Barons daughter, speculation accrued as it so often did but no one truly understood why out of all servants, Fae remained for as long as she did. Now aged fifteen, she approaches the assembly room with tentative courtesy, knocking thrice before entering and giving the Baron a bow, awaiting for her cue to speak.

The three gentlemen they had seen from the window above turned to greet the servant dismissively, wondering amongst themselves if this was the Lady Stone they’ve heard so much about.

”Speak, girl.” The Baron was short and snappy at the best of times, but the flicker behind his eyes indicated that he was vexed at his daughter's lack of presence, though he wasn’t surprised.

”The Lady expressed that she wishes to finish her book before coming down to meet anyone.”

“You are far too kind to my daughter, what did she say? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind our guests hearing what she thinks.” He was an instigator of chaos, many called him, and that he was in layman terms - a shit stirrer. Though cruel in many ways he was nothing if not supportive of his only daughter despite that she was now nineteen and yet to be wed.

Fae cleared her throat, eyes flicking cautiously to the three men who stood in-front of the Baron, remarkably young for suitors, compared to the last handful who were well into their thirties. “She said, ‘the sniveling brat can wait until I finish my book’ . I believe her words to be, perhaps a bit more abridged than what she originally said.”

Though despite the clear insult and lack of effort, the young man in the centre smiled at the prospect, “where can I find her?”

”I assure you, Mister Sallow, she will not take lightly to such impoliteness, but if you must. She’ll be in the library, I must warn you that it will be your funeral. She has a habit of misplacing men in the stone garden she doesn’t like.”

Despite the warning given, Fae escorted the young up and coming infamous wizard Sebastian Sallow to your usual resting spot. He was making waves in the wizarding world, having escaped imprisonment to Azkaban and running rampant across England as a force to be reckoned with. He was young, clever, and unimaginably gifted in the dark arts, learning all three unforgivable curses at just fifteen, he put most of the older wizards to shame and he knew it.

You, on the other hand, didn’t like to be interrupted. Especially reading, no one dared to be the source of such disruption, not even The Baron himself would bother dealing with being the object of your ire, though he had been known from time to time to interrupt. Not nearly, as badly as Sebastian Sallow had this particular morning.

Positively annoyed you were, not even sparing the two a glance whilst flicking the page across with a sigh. Fae made no moves to disrupt the stillness, not daring to speak over even the crackling of the fire in fear of what consequence may head her way. That was because she knew better.

Sebastian, did not.

“Lady Stone, I was informed I’d find you up here.”

”Are you deaf?” You clicked your tongue, still not making eye contact, staring at the book as the words blurred from focus. He uttered a mere ‘no’, and you proceeded, “are you blind then?” The question hung in the air for a short moment before also receiving yet another ‘no’, though his tone was soft, it didn’t tremble like most of them did when caught on the spot by you. “So — You must have heard dear Fae when she passed on that I wasn’t finished reading. And you clearly see that I am, in fact, still reading… So why am I being pestered by the sound of your voice?”

And you finally looked up, surprised to see not another older gentleman, but in fact someone your own age for once. Hardly anyone of nineteen or close had enough courage to muster up seeking you out of all suitors. Despite the shock, your quirked brows and pointed look hadn’t faltered while staring the young man down.

“Utmost apologies for the intrusion,” he wasn’t at all sorry, that much was clear as he sauntered forward, “I was simply dying to know what book could possibly be worth your time more than a — phenomenal, might I add — marriage prospect.” The two of you stared each other down, challenging one another almost silently, who would crack first? Sebastian Sallow or you?

”A servant's diary would be more worth my time to read than a marriage prospect to an imbecile who doesn’t respect a lady’s wishes. I don’t like you, or your attitude.”

“Well it’s a good thing I don’t want you to like me, I want you to love me… Perhaps we can help one another achieve the same goal,” his smarmy smile etched itself into the back of your mind, not to mention the cheeky gaze to top it off. Though, far be it for you to be challenged in your own home, to an outsider no less.

The book snapped close thanks to your swift hands, “and I suppose you think the best way to get a woman’s attention is to barge in, disrespect her and act high and mighty, is that it? I don’t even know who you are, boy.”

His lips twitched ever so slightly, “you may not know me, but I promise, you’ve heard of me. Sebastian Sallow, pleasure to make your acquaintance my Lady.”

You laughed, snorting it out as if pitying a joke that fell flat, but laughed nonetheless, “so you’re the petulant boy the ministry is folding in on themselves over? Those bumbling fools wouldn’t know how to organize a pissup in a brewery even if their life depended on it.”

”And you aren’t at all the wicked little witch I’ve heard in such harrowing detail about… Tell me, how is it, you’ve earnt such infamy if all you do is roam a single Chateau and never leave?” His hands were clasped firmly behind his back and his breathing was steady despite poking a lioness in her den. He very much liked your edge, the way your icy cold words cut through the air like a severing charm, if anything you had been nothing but faithful to the picture he had painted in his head.

“The secrets of my trade aren’t for the living I'm afraid, you’ll figure that out soon enough, Sebastian.” Tucking the book underneath your arm, in quick and decisive strides, you pass him on the way out of the library nook. He was charming, you had to admit, more charming than the droves of feeble-minded men that only spared interest in you for the power the Baron held in great honour. His interest had yet to be uncovered, and once it was, you wouldn’t mind playing with him in the meantime.

——

“—already memorized the layout of the place I see.” You had not spared a single glance Sebastian's way upon his arrival in the dining room for breakfast, too busy reading the book you unfortunately hadn’t finished three days ago due to the rude nature of the Stone Estates latest guests.

The Baron tutted, “Mister Sallow and his friends are guests until business has adjourned young Lady, I ask you show some respect.” Hidden within his words were a warning, though, he could also sympathize, his one and only daughter, Heir to the Stone Estate, name and Title, he would never willingly force you into a marriage but as time went on and no suitors met, he would need to bring the hammer down eventually.

You sighed, painstakingly stirring the teaspoon in your cup while continuing to read, “I seemed to have left my manners in the library. After all, I still haven’t finished reading which I recall requesting that I finish before meeting any guests.”

“Quite the contrary, my Lady. I was lost in the gallery until a servant girl found me.” Sebastian smiled, taking a seat directly across the table from where you sat peacefully, you assumed in an attempt to agitate you further.

The Gallery? Your ears pricked up at the comment. What are you doing all the way there? Though it was common knowledge amongst the servants that the Gallery split off into four different rooms, one of them being your room and the other three of varying degrees of significance like the Cursed Relics room and hidden passageway. It was nowhere near the guest quarters nor was it anywhere near the dining room where everyone resides presently. It could be benign, he may as well could’ve been lost on his way to the dining room, or a more likely story is that he was up to something nefarious.

With an eyebrow raised, finally lifting your eyes up to see Fae standing by the entryway, your gaze quizzical enough to make the girl shift on her feet. A tell tale sign that it would be worth asking her about Sebastian's detour when she had a moment alone if you don’t jump the gun and interrogate him first.

“I will be taking my leave, I have a matter that requires my handy work, I shall return in time for Supper.” The Baron rose out of his chair, walking around the table to plant a kiss on top of your head before promptly taking his leave. Part of him hoped that when he returned home Sebastian wouldn’t fall victim to a freak accident like so many before him had. He only wishes you a happy and content life once he is passed on, the same wish your mother had before her untimely death.

The room stilled, the only sound bouncing around the room was the soft clinking of the teaspoon you swirled absentmindedly in your teacup. The occasional dark oak floorboard creaked beneath the turkish rug gifted by a previous suitors family, but not loud enough to break the descending silence.

Sebastian cleared his throat, finally disrupting the peace which was rather irksome considering breakfast was one of your favourite times of the day, the way the morning sun shone through the towering glass windows, breaking golden rays across the deep and open dining room. Dust specs sparkled high in the air from the disturbances of people walking and moving, most likely falling to their usual spot in crevices and nooks that were far out of reach for the servants to clean.

“Say, who’s that?” Sebastian asked, gesturing over to the feature wall dressed in an ornate moody wallpaper and a singular large portrait that looked over the table. Its frame had such intricate snake detailing one couldn’t possibly see it all unless essentially standing underneath it, impressive handiwork, and even more impressive subject. The painted woman sat in a large baroque throne, skull detailing accented on the arms and head of the chair, she looked nearly vampire-esque with her severe and imposing look of malice etched across her face as the eyes of the portrait scanned the room, ever occasionally shifting in her throne and looking away at something else.

”Baroness Stone,” you answered flatly, knowing exactly who he was referring to without the need to even spare a glance. Between having met The Baron in person and sitting rather uncomfortably underneath the watchful glare of the late Baroness, it was clear to Sebastian that perhaps the reputation of the Stone’s was because of her. Sure, The Baron was imposing in his own right, but The Baroness had a certain cruelty that could be seen even in the eyes of her portrait.

“What was she like?”

”You’ve already asked a question, it’s only fair I ask one now…” Slamming your book shut, you leaned forward on the chair to look at Sebastian fully this time. He was broad in the shoulders, a face full of freckles like the dust specs that littered the air in your favourite places within the Chateau. He was dressed modestly, not exactly a paragon of wealth like all the others that had asked for your hand in marriage before and you admittedly did like that difference.

He shifted in his seat as if surprised by your forwardness, but nodded, “by all means My Lady.”

”You must think I’m as half-witted as my father, snooping around in the Gallery were you? What exactly were you hoping to find?” You folded your arms and stared at him expectantly, wondering just how hard or easy it would be to break him considering his rather stubborn vigor the night prior.

“That’s two questions,” he smugly smiled, “I didn’t think I’d be meeting my match here, you’re quite the observant witch I must admit. Well educated, despite not going to any wizarding school that I’m aware of… There’s nothing I can say or do that could possibly sway your distrust in me, is there?” The sincerity in his voice was nearly convincing, had you been as dim-witted as some of the girls in the literature you read, perhaps it would be believable. But there was something off about him.

Fingers drumming against your arm while letting the cogs tick away in your mind for a response, he certainly had a way with words that was surprisingly almost easy to fall for. “A spider doesn’t simply strike without watching her prey first, and you are hardly the epitome of trust since you’ve been spouting half truths ever since you arrived here. So perhaps we’ll agree to disagree — to answer your first question, this is what my mother was like, she brought me up to always second guess the truth a man tells you because it’s always a half truth. For the sake of the narrative, maybe you are interested in my hand in marriage but it's not the only thing you want, so I ask again, what were you doing snooping in the Gallery?”

The room stilled in absolute silence, nothing, not even the floorboards dared make a sound as your icy glare found his gaze, scrutinizing every motion he so desperately thought was near perfect upon arrival. Perhaps he was wrong for underestimating you, assuming that a woman from a wealthy family would be sheltered enough to not question many things. Your wrathful honesty may perhaps had been what gave you such infamy in the first place, and Sebastian is finally understanding why many were smart enough to fear you.

For the first time since he arrived he resigned to the fact that maybe the best way to earn your trust and get what he was after, would be to start telling the truth, which was a much harder thing to accomplish and he had accomplished a lot in nineteen years of life. There was a very distinctive shift in his body language and behavior that was noticeable almost immediately, his knee began to bounce as if it had a mind of its own and his eyes started to look elsewhere in the room.

”I suppose… It would make sense that you should understand where I came from… Why I’m here,” He started, playing with his fingers as he starts the story from its beginning, from the night his twin was cursed, sowing the seeds of his dark nature as it only continued to bloom on his hunt for a cure. He divulged in not great amounts of detail about the tumultuous fifth year he had at Hogwarts, only sparing the parts that made sense to who he became to be. Learning the three Unforgivable Curses, using all of them at one point at only fifteen, two on his fellow classmates and friends, and one on his uncle.

“— I… Well, I didn’t mean to.” He paused.

”You’ve been honest until this point, don’t start lying now,” your words had visibly annoyed him, his chest puffing out to defend himself but you were quicker, “the unforgivables are called that for a reason, saying you didn’t mean to kill someone with one of them contradicts its existence… You meant it at the time and now you feel remorse, don’t mix the two emotions up.”

He laughed bitterly, “remorse? My uncle was angry and cruel, he had it out for me the second my parents died and it only got worse with time. I’m only sorry that his death cost me my sister.” His emotions had rung surprisingly high, though you supposed it made sense given the nature of the conversation, he was divulging a lot of his past which clearly still rubbed raw his feelings to this day.

”You’re the one that said you ‘didn’t mean to’, I’ve still yet to figure out how this ties into us, so keep going.” You urged, unphased by his emotional outburst, it was nowhere near as volatile as your fathers could be and perhaps your unflinching composure had been exactly what Sebastian needed to calm himself down.

”I went through all of my fifth year at Hogwarts thinking Goblins were the reason my sister was cursed. But it was never them, it was Victor Rookwood who did this to her. Every wizard, witch or even muggle that is associated with him has met their end until I find him and kill him myself.”

This was news to you, fairly certain that the daily prophet had reported on his death four years ago. It was a surprise to find out that maybe he cheated death after all. “And I’ll take a shot in the dark — My father has something to do with him.”

“You’re a far more clever witch than I'd anticipated, I figured if I could snake my way into this family and have your father meet an untimely death, perhaps even you too. And when Rookwood came crawling back to this estate for The Baron's help, it would be me who lay in waiting and it'd be the last thing he’d ever see.”

You leaned back onto your chair and hummed in surprise, you were certain he was up to something but hadn’t quite expected that, but after hearing what he had to say, explaining his history it began to make sense. The daily prophet articles written about rogue wizard Sebastian Sallow, really he was more or less an unlicensed vigilante Auror at this point, he was admittedly far more effective. Though, you supposed he wasn’t just targeting dark wizards, he was also killing muggles.

”I admire your dedication, though your plan is positively flawed and would fail without question.”

“Oh, pray tell what you have in mind for a successful plan then, my Lady.”

You looked off to the corner of the room, absently tapping your feet on the floor while keeping the train of thought going in your mind, “one doesn’t simply become Baron of the Stone Estate. We’ve been in illicit doings for centuries, our roots are buried far deeper than you could possibly imagine. We have allies in the ministry, allies in the muggle world and two Aurors off the top of my head that work in tandem with this family. How do you think my parents got away with so much to earn their titles here? It’s not given to us by birthright, it's earned.”

“Then indulge me on what a girl who was homeschooled here her entire life has done to earn her title,” he looked you up and down, seemingly frustrated at your attempts to pull apart his entire plan, a plan that you guessed had been in the works for several years.

”Don’t be petty, I’m simply stating that if both of the Stones go missing, no corner of this earth could you hide where someone wouldn’t hunt you down. It’s a corrupt place out there, you need only know how to control it so that it works in your favor — come with me, it's time for a stroll outside, don't you agree?”

——-

The grounds surrounding the Chateau were ever expanding it seemed, closest to the home itself were the carnation bushes and enchanted hedges, more snake motifs littered among the detailing of the castle one might have assumed it was a Gaunt estate, Sebastian wouldn’t have been the first to think it either.

”I’d almost go as far as to say you’ve stolen this place from the Gaunts,” he commented as the two of you strolled underneath the ivy canopy into the vast array of different flowers. It was an assault on the senses almost, flashes of vibrant otherworldly colours on different shaped stems and heads, the smell was so thick it was nearly suffocating.

“Apparently you must be a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin to enjoy snakes now do we? I find them rather interesting if it's all the same to you,” It was no secret you favored reptiles over any other creature, dragons being one of your favorites but the serpent could never be beaten. Perhaps it was due to your love of old literature of different cultures that aided the love for snakes, they were highly regarded in many ancient historic cultures and were a symbol for power.

“I didn’t say that — though you would’ve made a great Slytherin.” He mumbled the last part, certain that in a different lifetime or universe where you had come to Hogwarts the two of you would be fast friends.

“That’s a pity, my family has a history of being Ravenclaws.” You mused, a smile on your lips as you practically glided through the gardens, your dress made of a fine black silk with dark blue accents that made it appear as if your feet weren’t even touching the ground. Sebastian had to chuckle at your response, understanding that given your affinity to reading and being as sharp as whip that perhaps being in Ravenclaw made perfect sense.

He then grew somber almost, lamenting on his past. Merlin how he missed his friends and classmates, he missed Hogwarts, walking the castle and going on weekend trips to Hogsmede, he’d even go as far to say that he missed Madame Scribner and the scolding she would have out for him for getting caught once again in the Restricted section.

There was a real attempt of normalcy after his fifth year concluded, he tried so hard to go into sixth year and leave his past behind him but it had lasted a meager two months before he couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn't long after he went into solitude that it came out what had occurred the year prior, The Ministry was on him ever since, trying to convict him for his uncle's murder.

The Dark Arts whispered to him like a lover that promised so much more than the life he had pretending he was a good person, it was easier for him to fold into the darkness than it was to follow the light. He hadn’t spoken to anyone since fleeing Hogwarts, not Ominis, not Anne, not Garreth or Imelda and certainly not his companion that had arrived in fifth year. His only friends were hardly that at all, many of the people he found himself with were more or less like colleagues than anything worthwhile. His hunt for Rookwood was all consuming, he didn't have time to make friends when he was out every other week tracking down Victor's allies and snuffing them out.

“Sebastian?” You had been watching him for a short while, hands cupped in one another neatly by your waist while waiting and the book you had been obsessively reading tucked under your left arm.

Hearing the softness in your voice caught him well off guard, snapping him back to the present and looking over, he almost forgot what the two of you were doing out here but quickly brought himself back on track, “how is a walk in the Garden proving anything?” He asked, almost irritated to be out in nature once he regained awareness of being outside. “Or are you simply walking me out here to kill me after I told you everything?”

A smile ghosted your lips, but you didn’t say anything and kept walking. The idea of your silence was to make him nervous. Why? Because, as the late Baroness always said, it was fun to play with your food. Successful in that venture, he still followed tentatively behind at a bit more of a distance in case his hypothesis was correct and that you were, infact, going to kill him. Or at least try to.

It was almost instantaneous, the divide from the gardens littered with plants to the mass yard of statues, it was almost like a stone maze, which would be aptly named given the family name.

Sebastian walked up to one of the statues in curiosity, a wizard who stood proud and tall. The sculpture was worn and had shown clear signs of weathering, at least in comparison to the statue adjacent to it. Another wizard statue, this one a lot less composed than the last, fearful features striking across his face and body language.

”Snakes have this incredible literary motif that I think a lot of people tend to overlook,” you paced around another statue, “for instance, a lot of the time they can be perceived as wise while they also can be perceived as deceitful… And I think two things can be true at once.”

You pulled out the book from the crook of your arm and opened it up, “the other night you asked me what book was so good I refused to meet with you — It’s a book of greek tragedies and alleged myths, another culture that looked to Snakes as powerful. But the story my mother told me when I was young was what always stuck with me… Medusa, a tragedy about a mortal woman who was seduced by Poseidon and cursed by Athena — Or was she assaulted by a man and given a protective curse by Athena to thwart that ever happening again? You’re well versed in history, yes?”

Sebastian looked at the statues surrounding them, all wizards, all varying degrees of fear, anger and stoicism imposed on their stone form, “I’m aware of the myth. My sister would read me these as bedtime stories.”

”Wonderful. Well lets just say, its an inspired artform, a homage if you will. I’ve been heir to this family name since I was born, I’ve had suitors knocking on our door since I was eleven asking to marry me, me?! A child. Men coming to inspect me since before I even had my first blood, can you imagine? Forty year olds, thirty year olds, always older and never my own age. I was fourteen when the first incident happened, he was a git that one, mother didn’t like him very much but it was my ‘duty to humour the men who come all this way to see me’. He said vile things but I had already started raiding my fathers bookshelves on dark magic and more archaic curses that aren't all that common anymore. I do hope you like my handy work, it's a more permanent curse than the full body-bind curse, turns the other person to stone entirely.”

You were sickeningly proud of what you’d done to men by the dozens, and why shouldn’t you be? You were content in your own company and didn’t need blubbering fools to satiate your needs better than yourself. “And the best part of it all, they’re still alive. They can hear us right now and they can live in that torment for all I care.” The way your voice hadn’t wavered once, sent shivers down Sebastian’s spine, he had done nothing but underestimate you the entire time he’s been a guest and he was beginning to question his own judge of character.

”I suppose I’ll be next then?” He asked, though trying his best to not sound nervous.

There was silence while you thought, circling the statue he stood in front of and tilting your head to the side, “I haven’t made my mind up yet. Though is this answer adequate enough for you? Is this worthy enough of earning my title?”

[kinuhanino]

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives is Lena Sabrewing's song.

A Lyric by Lyric breakdown ✨✨

Because each verse fits Lena so well it's actually so insane

Like... this song fits her backstory to a T. I'm half convinced she wrote it herself.

also note! I imagine the song being sung by Lena. As in, This is Lena talking to Magica, or telling Magica these things she feels.

another note: this is solely my interpretation of Lena's backstory and how it could fit in the song! any other interpretations are valid but this is my personal take on it.

So without further adieu, here it is!

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Tell me once again I could have been anyone, anyone else Before you made the choice for me

Born from the shadows, Lena could've literally been anyone. She could've been just a homeless kid roaming around the streets. She could've been adopted by a family. She could've made friends. Could've started a band. Be a musician. An Artist. She could've stayed in Italy. Be among the people there. Have a life of her own.

But no, she couldn't. Didn't.

Because she was the shadow of Magica De Spell. A mere puppet used for trickery and deception. And the key to setting her former caster free.

My feet knew the path We walked in the dark, in the dark I never gave a single thought to where it might lead

Lena was made on Mount Vesuvius, which is in Italy. She had to - practically on her own - ('cuz i doubt that Magica was helpful) go from Italy to the US to get to Duckburg, whilst being a newly made living person from the shadows, most likely not having a single clue on how to be a person.

She was probably so confused at first. I feel like Magica immediately ordered her to do something complicated and yelled at her for not understanding what to do.

For the first few years, she probably just blindly followed Magica's instructions. She followed the path Magica paved and led her to, and it was littered with shadows and darkness.

All those empty rooms We could have been anywhere, anywhere else Instead, I made a bed with apathy

Eventually, Lena probably learnt about Magica's nature and the morality of it. She probably saw how other people treated each other, or maybe she was able to watch a TV show that showed her what a good and honest person would act.

Eventually, however, she would have to arrive at Duckburg and follow through with the plan her master made for her. She'd be at the place where the main plan were to commence, and she'd have to put her morals aside for just a little more to finally be free.

My heart knew the weight Ten years worth of dust and neglect We made our peace with weariness and let it be

*15 years of dust and neglect.

Lena wasn't cared for in the slightest. It's really evident given how Magica treated her throughout the series. Magica only wanted her powers back, and Lena was the means to get it.

She didn't care about where and how Lena was supposed to live in this world. She didn't even consider her alive.

And Lena knew this, so she just chose to live through the bare minimum. There wasn't any point in her making any friends since she was just a tool. There was no point for her to get attached to anything because she wasn't staying anywhere for long.

And eventually, Lena probably got bored of "living". She grew to care less about everything and everyone around her. Her life was just a means to an end. She didn't and couldn't experience what it felt like to be alive because there always was a shadow lingering behind her, telling her that she was wasting her time on something useless.

Name your courage now We could have had anything, anything else Instead, you hoarded all that's left of me

*insert scenepack of Magica possessing Lena's body*

need I say more?

Swallowin' your doubt Like swords to the pit of my belly I want to feel the fire that you kept from me

She wants to feel love. She wants to feel warmth. She wants to feel the embrace of someone who actually cares about her. She craves it. The love, the lessons, the concern, all of it. She wants it, no, needs it at this point. She'd been deprived of it for so long, it's like breathing air for the first time after being submereged in the water.

And that family, the McDuck family, they gave it around like it was free candy. Sure, she had to earn some of it from Mrs. Beakley, but when she did, the love, concern and the protectiveness was offered to her, not only tenfold, but with no strings attached.

She's never experienced anything like it before. The feeling of security, the love that wrapped around her like a warm blanket. For once in her life, she finally felt safe. And now that the had a taste of it, she can never let go.

The moon will sing a song for me I loved you like the sun

At the end of the day however, looking back, she loved her aunt. Despite all of the torment, abuse, and neglect, during that period of her life, she loved her. It was wishful thinking on her part, but she truly deeply wanted Magica's love, approval, and care.

She loved her. She was her creator. She was there when she was made. And although it was probably grudingly, Magica most likely was the person who taught her the basics of life, or atleast, to blend in with the people.

Bore the shadows that you made With no light of my own

Lena is a shadow, case in point.

Additionally, Lena didn't have a life besides being Magica's sentient shadow. She didn't have a life of her own without her. She was just a slave to her master.

I shine only with the light you gave me I shine only with the light you gave me

She was only as alive as Magica wished her to be (atleast in her perpective). To her, she wouldn't be alive until she truly had her freedom.

And that was the driving force for Lena to go along with Magica's plan. She didn't want to do it (especially after meeting the McDuck family) but she had to. She never had a choice. The only choices she was able to make were in the guise of furthering Magica's ploy for revenge.

So, she shined (had freedom) only with the light (permission) she (Magica) gave her.

And she shined (lived) only with the light (magic) she (Magica) gave her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You for Listening to my TedTalk!

u wanted to read it so here's a tag! @threeaxolotlsinatrenchcoat

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

One of the more frustrating parts about dywh (of which there are many) is that it doesn't even take itself seriously. People talk about it as if it's this Infamous Moment™️ where Chloe becomes the devil incarnate and violates our ✨️pwecious wittle Jer-Bear✨️ but the simple fact of the matter is that the Joes can't stop making jokes long enough to give the scene any actual venom.

Like yes, it's an uncomfortable scene, but most of it comes from the fact that Chloe is dressed as a sexy baby of all things and the song makes sure to constantly remind you of that. When you look at it divorced from the costume though, she barely even does anything. The squip is the entire reason Jeremy can't leave, so pinning that on Chloe is flimsy at best, and the worst she does per the script is kiss him. (Before anyone says it, the script says the squip made him drink. Animatics lied to you.) Still bad, yes, but far tamer than some fans act like it is.

Most of the scene beyond the lyrics and the kiss is just Chloe and Jeremy talking. Or Jeremy talking to a comedically malfunctioning squip. Or Chloe comedically pissing Jake off with fake sex noises. Do you see the problem? This scene can't decide if it's comedic or serious and is walking a sloppy middle road.

I can derive themes from the choices that were made ("sexy baby" showing the horror that comes from teen girls sexualizing themselves for peer approval/attention and symbolizing Chloe's entitlement and immaturity; the metaphorical and literal loss of control via the squip freezing Jeremy in place and telling him what to do throughout the show = overall loss of autonomy) and give Watsonian reasons for the weirder ones (creepily excessive baby innuendos because Chloe is drunk) but with how little they were capitalized on, I don't think the Joes did it on purpose. Or if they did, they were clumsy about it.

When the scene isn't joking about Chloe being a drunk sexy baby trying to get laid, it actually spends a lot of its time developing Chloe as a character by touching on her jealously of Brooke and having these blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments where we can see her insecurities and the conditioning that contributes to her actions. Why did she hear "You're the hottest girl in school" and automatically equate that to "Jeremy wants to kiss me?" How many boys saw nothing more than a pretty face and not an actual person? Has anyone actually bothered to unpack her bitterly asking if everyone likes Brooke "because she's nice," before sobbing about how "I can be nice, I can be so goddamn nice?" Has anyone ever given her the space to be a person and not The Hottest Girl In School?

Let me guess: it doesn't count because she was drunk.

We could've had an incredibly raw scene where The Mean Bitch Character (though drunk) opens up about all the pressure to play into that persona because nobody will give her the time of day otherwise. Nobody will try to get to know the real her. Nobody will let her show how goddamn nice she can be. She wants Jake back because who is the hottest girl in school if she's not with the hottest boy in school? She sees through Brooke's "wounded puppy routine" and is warning Jeremy about how she's just as fake as her. (You could technically interpret this as Chloe lying to sway him away from Brooke, but goddammit give Brooke some actual fucking flaws for once.) We could’ve seen PROOF that Chloe is more than Hot Girl #1. We could've seen an ACTUAL character.

Or, say we wanna keep the scene comedic, because this show has always been comedic first in my head. Make Chloe so shitfaced that she couldn't actually assault Jeremy if she tried. Keep the squip keeping him from leaving, but don't pretend that Chloe is any kind of actual threat. Make this whole thing just, weird and inconvenient. I have to get back to Brooke, no go throw up over there, can I just leave?? No I don't wanna drink. Why are you speaking in japanese?? What the fuck??? Chloe there like six pillows right there, you don't have to lay on me. Make Jake come along and pound on the door, THEN have Chloe make fake sex noises because it would be sooo funny if Jake thought that she and Jeremy were banging.

OR if y'all REALLY wanna demonize a teenage girl THAT FUCKING BADLY, we cut the jokes. We cut the song and we Actually Commit. Just have it be a short talking scene, but we see what direction it's going in through the blocking and body language. We cut the squip jabbering in Japanese. We cut Jake and Brooke. We fade to black and just jump to the (seemingly) empty bathroom where Jeremy runs in. We don't drag out the gratuity of sexual assault by showing it, but by showing how Jeremy acts after it. Show he's more on edge, more jumpy, show he was actually AFFECTED by what happened. Maybe TALK ABOUT IT, just a TINY FUCKING BIT. Make him BITTER toward the squip for MAKING him go through that. This isn't a show About sexual assault and recovery but FUCK at least give the scene a little more respect.

But dywh didn't commit to any of these and just gave us this weird scene that's interesting for Chloe's character but kinda bad but not bad enough to tone down the absurdity or actually be addressed later.

Fucking Rick and Morty had a more effective sexual assault scene. It was a small portion of one episode, sure, but there was FOLLOW-THROUGH. You SEE how the characters act differently afterward. The scene makes you uncomfortable in the RIGHT WAY. It Stopped Joking long enough to Punch You In The Gut. RICK AND MORTY, the drunk dimension-hopping grandpa show!!!

AND I maintain that dywh was meant to emphasize the SQUIP disobeying Jeremy's wishes more than Chloe, besides being an excuse to break the couples up. She couldn't fucking tell what Jeremy wanted (he didnt leave, she didnt know he couldnt; she misinterpreted him calling her hot, which is on her despite being drunk; he drank halfway through saying hes not a drinker, because some unseen force made him; CHLOE CANT CONSENT EITHER BECAUSE SHES DRUNK, AND THE SQUIP KNOWS THIS) until the last second when she GAVE UP, at which point she only cared if Jake THOUGHT she and Jeremy banged on his parents' bed and not if they actually DID.

The squip put him here fully knowing what Chloe wanted, fully knowing that Jeremy didn't want it. It doesn't care about the best interest of its host; just results. Who cares if Jeremy suffers a little if it gets us on the right path? Who cares what he wants? All that matters is what I want. Or, let's say the squip knew that Chloe wouldn't actually get in Jeremy's pants; it still made Jeremy live through the horror of not having the CHOICE to stay or go. To powerlessly WATCH it happen. The squip controlled his body at least once before this, and later forces him to fight Michael. Physically hijacking control his body is almost as LITERAL OF A METAPHOR AS IT GETS for this kind of thing.

That.

That is the villain of this fucking show.

Not a drunk and insecure teenage girl.

And dywh failed at showing you that.

[beepboopkek]

— I will always come to your aid (AMAB!Reader)

AFAB!Reader has also been posted! including: Jing Yuan cw: !!NSFW!!, amab!reader, grammar and spelling errors possible, pwp but barely, hinted that reader has a s1ze k1nk, f1ng3r1ng, reader is a little sarcastic, still spreading my Jing Yuan is a Bastard (affectionate) agenda, masturbat1on, getting caught masturbat1ng, d1rty talk, cum eat1ng, no use of y/n, reader can be interpreted as the trailblazer but they are NOT stelle/caelus, safe sane and consensual w/c: 2k a/n: people liked strip starchess so much so here is another one of my brainrots... i dont usually like this troupe that much but i find myself excusing anything and everything for jing yuan so here we are. for my female reader likers i got u, its being posted right after this so you guys can enjoy too :3. also just remember that this is NOT stelle/caelus, its the you haha, i dont like shipping the raccoons with anyone as a personal pref so I'm just making that clear :3. anyways same warning as last time this is like my third time writing smut and also english isn't my first language. enjoy!!

The crisis on the Xianzhou Luofu was mostly over.

Which meant you had to leave the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.

Well— love may be an exaggeration but you weren't fucking around when it came to him.

Jing Yuan.

Your eyes had been hooked onto him the second you two met, his pleasant smile, his calm demeanor, his body—fuck, everything about him enamored you.

You could only wish that there was some other universe where he reciprocated your feelings.

You departed with a respectful nod of the head, despite wanting to smoosh your face between his pecs and cry about never getting to see them again.

The only hope that you did have though, was the jade abacus he had gifted you and your companions.

“No matter how astronomically distant you are, The Luofu Cloud Knights will always come to the aid of the Crew, whatever your need may be.”

Of course, his next sentence was to not use it for trivial matters when he saw March’s reaction, much to your amusement.

There was a discussion on who should keep the jade abacus, March being ruled out first much to her annoyance.

It landed between you and Dan Heng and given his history with the Xianzhou Luofu, he handed it to you.

That's how you ended up here, standing in front of your locked door with the abacus in your hand.

What if you grip it— You need to rinse your brain with cold water at this point…

You flopped onto bed, letting the exhaustion of the day seep into your bones as the plush blanket and pillows surrounded you.

You threw the abacus to your side, you'll take care of it later, not like you're gonna need it right now anyway.

Your mind flooded with images of Jing Yuan, his voice and everything you had been through together.

Fuck.

Your hand drifted towards your dick, already feeling some pre-cum gathering at the thought of what you were about to do.

— Touch yourself to the thought of the General of the Cloud Knights on the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the most powerful beings to ever exist in history.

You shook your doubts away, he's just Jing Yuan to you.

You took off your shorts in record speed, tossing your boxers along with it.

You never really touched yourself that often so you tried to imagine your hand being his instead.

You rubbed the head of your cock, gasping at the cold touch of your fingers on the warm flesh.

How would he touch you?

He'd take his time, surely. He's not one to rush things— He'd work you open slowly for his cock—fuck, you're sure it's in proportion with how goddamn large his body is.

You moaned as you inserted two fingers inside your asshole. You wanted to imagine Jing Yuan doing it, really, But, you also wanted an orgasm quickly so you can sleep. So, you just decided to go with imagining his voice talking to you.

You pistoned your fingers in and out, curling them at the spot only you could reach with your much smaller hands.

It was too intense, the thought of his deep voice guiding you through was enough to get your orgasm to graze along the edges of  your belly slowly, building up to be a strong one.

You grabbed the blanket next to you, gripping it tightly as you whispered Jing Yuan's name and continued thrusting your fingers inside you.

You swear the normal part of your brain recognised you gripping an object while gripping the blanket as well but you were genuinely too out of it to care in the slightest.

You're just about to orgasm when everything in your room rattles, as if there's an earthquake. 

Which should be impossible considering you are literally on a massive train that travels through space.

You let go of the blanket and sit up in shock, looking around to see what happened.

…With your fingers still inside you.

“Followers of the Nameless, I am here to assist you, tell me about the situ— Oh.”

You blinked.

Jing Yuan blinked.

Oh. Fuck.

You scrambled, ripping your fingers out and slapping your lower half with a pillow.

“J-Jing Yuan I-” 

You gulped, trying to calm your racing heart, you just got caught masturbating by your crush.

Life is going great.

Your cheeks and ears were beet red now, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to say something, anything to get you out of this situation.

Jing Yuan was just as surprised, if not astonished, by the scene that had unfolded in front of him.

He was finishing up some paperwork that Lady Fu had so kindly delivered to him in the Alchemy Commission when suddenly, the jade abacus he had clipped to his belt loop started vibrating.

Not one to panic, he quickly unhooked it and got it closer to his ear, so that he could hear what the Express were asking of.

What he didn't expect was to hear the voice of his crush, the one that he has acquired after decades of not entertaining any romantic relationships, whispering and calling out his name.

Okay, maybe now he should panic.

Without a second thought, Jing Yuan summoned his weapon and gripped the jade abacus back, signaling it to teleport him to your location.

Paperwork be damned he would rather lose a 100 years of his life if it mean you would be safe.

That landed him here, in front of a half naked (and very surprised) you.

He dissolved his weapon into thin air and folded his arms against his chest.

“Well, this is a surprise.”

“Wow, you don't say.”

Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at your tone.

“S-sorry, I don't know how you got here.”

An interesting turn of events.

“... Did you not call for me?”

“No, Why would I? Even if I did, how did you just…magically appear here?”

“Oh, dear.”

“What?”

“The jade abacus. I think you… I think you gripped it while you were…busy.”

He looked into your eyes and back down at the pillow that was barely covering your lower half.

“The jade aba—” 

You cut yourself off, turning to your side to where you had thrown it, only to find the wretched object to be in the center of your crumpled blanket.

“Fuck.” 

“Jing Yuan— I am so, so , so, sorry, I swear this was an honest mistake and I'll—”

Jing Yuan cut you off with the raise of his hand. “I forgive you.” “Really? Great let me j—”

“On one condition.” Of course there’s a catch. You sighed begrudgingly.

“What do you need help with?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” Your eyes widened but before you could let out your protests, Jing Yuan spoke up again. “You let me help you finish.” The gall of this man.You’re still going to take the chance that he doesn’t know what you were doing. “Finish what?”

You tried to sound innocent but your voice came out breathier than you wanted it to be. “Dont play coy now, you know exactly what I mean.” Your face burnt in embarrassment as you looked away. Jing Yuan dragged your desk chair and got it to the front of your bed before sitting down and making himself comfortable, propping one leg on the other and leaning back. “Go on, show me exactly what you were doing before I got here,hm?” “I can’t.” Jing Yuan paused, shit, had he misread the situation? Maybe he should—

“I can’t do it without you.” You had covered your red face at this point, way too embarrassed to look him in the eye while speaking. Jing Yuan just about lost it at that, abandoning all doubt and pouncing on you, grabbing your face to take you in a devouring kiss. He threw the pillow covering your bottom half in a random direction, quickly pecking you on the cheeks before pulling your hand over his. “Guide me.” You nodded shyly and pushed his hand towards your hard cock again. Fuck. His hands were just the way you imagined them. Warm and big, enough to hold your own two hands.

His hand (under your guidance and insistence) wrapped around your dick. “I’ve barely touched you, were you letting out pre while we were talking, hm? Did it turn you on to have me catch you in such an embarrassing state?” Jing Yuan whispered in your ear as he hovered over you and you thanked every Aeon known for this opportunity because fuck, your imagination did not do any justice to how good the general was. Jing Yuan gave your cock a few strokes before using the pre-come as lube and dipped the tip of his finger in your asshole, not entering but adding just enough stimulation for you to feel something there.

“Answer me.”

“No, I swear I didn’t, Jing Yuan, please—”

Jing Yuan smiled, he didn’t know you would be this easy to subdue.

He gently thrusted his finger inside, watching your face for any discomfort or resistance.

But, he was only met with your blissed out face, as you gasped in pleasure from his ministartions.

“Were you able to reach here?” He curled his finger upwards, hitting your sensitive spot just right.

You threw your hand over your mouth, pinching your mouth shut and praying, once again, to all the aeons you knew that the other passengers on the Express were dead asleep and couldn’t hear you. Granted, your room was the last in the carriage and had a decent amount of sound proofing but, you were still not risking it.

Your snapped out of your worries when Jing Yuan pushed in another finger alongside the one that was already in you.

“It looks like you’re getting distracted, maybe I’m not doing my job well enough?”

“N—Fuck, Its good, I’m sorry—Shit—”

Jing yuan simply kissed your head affectionately like he wasnt fingering you to hell and back right now and picked up the pace of his fingers.

Your hand was just gripping his wrist and you werent sure if it was to egg him to continue or get him to slow down and stop.

Maybe both.

Your head rolled back on the bed, exposing your bare neck to Jing Yuan as he immediately took the opportunity to cover your neck in kisses, Aeons be dammed. There's no way hes letting you walk out of this room unmarked and not carrying any proof of the evening you spent with him.

You gasped as Jing Yuan wrapped his other hand around your dick and your orgasm finally, finally overtook you. You shook in the general’s grasp as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out, drawing out the pleasure.

Taking his soaked fingers off your dick, he popped them in his mouth, savouring the taste while you recovered from the intense bout of sensations you just went through.

You propped yourself up on your elbows again, looking at Jing Yuan owlishly as your head cleared from the horniness.

Jing Yuan only smiled at you before holding your head and kissing your forehead again before gathering you in his arms.

“Call me old fashioned or old but I do believe in the proper process of courting someone and,”

He looked into your eyes as he cupped your face in one palm and brushed the thumb along the seam of your chin.

“I think we skipped a few steps.”

“Yeah, no shit, general.”

He laughed at that, his chest shaking as the deep sound rumbled from his throat, you blushed again.

You were in the arms of the man you’ve wanted to kiss since you stepped foot on the Xianzhou ship. You covered your burning face with your palms again as Jing Yuan’s laughter died down into little chuckles.

“We did all of that and youre getting shy now?”

“Shut up. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

“Wanted what? To get fingered by me?”

“No! — I mean that too, I guess, but I meant being held by you! Stop playing games, Jing Yuan.”

Jing Yuan only laughed as he took his free hand and grabbed your hands, turning them towards him one after the other and kissing the palm.

“I jest, I jest. But, I must stay here for the night. I’m afraid I can't travel back to the Xianzhou Luofu seeing as we aren’t closeby.”

You smiled.

Jing Yuan’s eyes twinkled in mischief right back at you.

“Be my guest.”

[accirax]

“Your mother is dead. You always omit that truth.”

As venus-is-thinking was rewatching DRDT’s Chapter 1 Free Time Events last night, she sent me screenshots of this one interaction between Charles and Whit, noting it as odd:

(She was right, btw. Whit, no matter how hard you try, you are not a normal man.)

Now, with the context of Chapter 2, we can probably assume that what Charles said here triggered Whit’s memories about his dead mom. There are a couple of options here, but the first one that jumped to my mind was that Whit was about to correct Charles, informing him that he actually learned how to cook himself. Obviously, he would then realize that saying this would bring up his mothers death, which he prefers to not mention, so he switches topics. While this option makes the most sense, given that Whit previously says, “teaching your kids how to cook is, like, the number one job of parents,” I would be surprised if Whit’s parents didn’t teach him how to cook at all.

It depends on how early in his life his mom died, I guess. And how long his dad has been away.

...wait, how long has Whit’s dad been away?

And then, an idea struck me. What if Whit’s dad doesn’t know that his wife is dead? What if Whit never told him?

This, of course, being a weightier spin on Whit’s secret, “Your mother is dead. You always omit that truth.” You omit that truth from who, exactly? People who already know what happened, or people like Charles and Teruko who don’t?

As I’m sure many people have assessed, Whit’s secret is comparatively pretty tame compared to the rest of the options. While his classmates are being revealed as manipulators and murderers, all we learn about Whit is a sad fun fact. But if Whit’s secret, in full, is actually “You never told anyone about the death of your mother, not even your father,” it becomes a much more severe secret.

Now, you might be asking, “if that’s the case, why wouldn’t Whit’s secret just say that outright instead?” Mastermind Whit interpretations aside, we have to remember that Despair Time is canonically a TV show. Assuming that Lin is watching his son on the big screen, as long as Whit’s secret says anything about his mom being dead, Lin would learn about his son’s concealment of the truth.

However, the question of why Whit’s secret wouldn’t be phrased like that for the sake of the other students remains. My best theory is this: it’s to make Whit suffer. I’m sure we all remember David’s heel turn in Chapter 2 Episode 11. After spewing his hateful monologue, he expresses how freeing it is to finally speak his mind.

For Whit, by not explaining what his secret is in full, they don’t give him the catharsis of expressing all of his thoughts and pain out loud. They still provide him the hopeful option of being able to salvage part of his story amongst the other students. While the motives of the TV show haven’t been expressly stated, it’s a pretty common killing game move to give the students hope just to rip it away and create despair, right...?

It’s like how Hu mentions that some secrets might be phrased unfavorably to make the students look worse. In this case, Whit’s secret could be phrased favorably with the intention of making him stressfully walk the edge of revealing the full truth and keeping it hidden. And, knowing Whit, there’s no way that he wouldn’t at least take a shot at repression.

Getting back to the secret itself, the way Whit talks about his family life also makes me believe that this could be the case. Through his dialogue, we learn that Whit lives a very solitary life. He talks about no one being home often enough to keep a pet, how lonely it would be to stay in the house all day, and how he’s befriended his neighbors’ dog and considers her family (but not the neighbors themselves?).

Sure, Whit is (barely) college aged, and college kids are typically considered able to live on their own. But Teruko and the gang believed that they were about to head to the Hope’s Peak entrance ceremony, so as far as Whit remembers, he only graduated high school very recently. If Lin knew that Elizabeth was dead, would he really leave his grieving teenage son completely alone in another country?

Because Whit’s dad doesn’t seem to currently reside within the United States, as far as I can tell. Maybe it’s just the Beetlejuice: The Musical fan in me, but I have to imagine that letting your kid grieve their dead mom whilst being completely isolated would be a very bad idea.

It would make sense to me if the reason why Lin allows this is because he doesn’t know. If Whit didn’t tell him the truth, either because it was too painful for him to say or because he didn’t want to jeopardize his father’s work abroad. According to Whit, his dad is “a real quiet dude,” so I could believe that he wouldn’t have any coworkers come up and console him for his loss, letting the cat out of the bag. The fact that he’s abroad further facilitates that idea-- how would Lin’s foreign coworkers even learn about Elizabeth’s passing when he himself doesn’t know?

You could run into problems if Lin went too long without seeing his wife, and started to wonder where she was. However, if Whit did something like impersonating his mom via text, it would be more possible for Lin to simply not notice that he hadn’t seen his wife in a while.

Venus also came up with the possibility that Lin is actually more of a deadbeat. He “works overseas” because, well, he lives there, having left his family behind. Whit could dye his hair blond not just to look like his mom, but also to look less like his dad. His skills as the Ultimate Matchmaker could have began at home with their split. It sounds a little implausible, but we know that Whit likes to ignore things that make him uncomfortable and put a positive spin on them.

At any rate, I believe this is a hypothetical worth considering. I definitely want to keep a closer eye on Whit’s backstory going further, as it’s possible that it’s not exactly what it seems.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Brotherhood, Pt. 5

We cut to the following day where we find McKay, Allina and Sheppard on an excavation with the others further away. It's not early morning so again, we are missing time from between the two scenes. Maybe Sheppard and McKay discussed it further, maybe they didn't, but here we find Valentino "more on his game". Which is to say, seemingly crashing and burning.

The previous night, McKay accidentally let it slip to her that they are not Atlanteans or descendants of the Ancestors like she had thought, but that they had come from Earth only a little while ago. Or he just straight up told her the truth, never having intended to lead them astray. Either way, it's this discovery that has changed her disposition toward McKay, not anything he did or is doing here.

As mentioned previously, her whole life has been dedicated to the service of the Ancestors and it seems like it was as the representative of Atlantis that she was crushing on McKay, not as an actual human being. Given that she got a version of Best Behaviour Rodney, she doesn't even really know what he is like. And now that it appears these newcomers have just taken on the mantle of the Ancestors undeservingly, she's not as keen on him (she, of course, does not know that Earth is the First World from which the Lanteans had originally come to this galaxy and to where they eventually returned so there is an argument to be made for their rightful inheritance of Atlantis, but that's besides the point).

The mainstream interpretation is that McKay is trying to score now that he thinks Allina wants him, the incorrigible hound dog that he is, and that Sheppard is watching him crash and burn from the background to amuse himself. Sure, Jan. Sure.

He might be failing because he is simply inept at talking to women and doesn't know what he's doing, but alternatively he's failing on purpose. And if he's failing on purpose, there might be any number of reasons for it, starting from the fact that she's an alien from an underdeveloped society, they're on a job that's pretty important and it would be morally dubious to start romancing what is actually pretty close to being an alien priestess, as he himself pointed out just a while ago. To belabour a point, McKay displayed zero interest in this woman the day before when they spent all of it on a dig together. She barely interested him enough to look at her. He had to be told that she has a crush on him. He had to be told what to do about it. It's much more likely that his attempt to engage here was designed to fail, whether on purpose or subconsciously. And looking at the dialogue, on purpose seems to be the name of the game.

McKay has obviously chosen a moment when they have some privacy to initiate this discussion. And Sheppard's presence, to him, seems to count as having privacy. It's either that he wants and prefers for Sheppard to be there, or he does not mind that Sheppard is there. Either way, Sheppard seems real interested in how this is going to go down. He's clearly willing to jump in as needed even if you interpret him as just wanting McKay to strike out because he's being a dick, or what ever the mainstream interpretation is. Fact is, what they're doing on this planet is way too important for Sheppard to be dicking around just 'cause, so it's much more likely he is doing this for an actual reason like to help the man who asked for his help last night.

McKay and Allina are looking over the stones:

Allina: It doesn't look much like a map. I guess I was wrong. McKay: Mm, possibly. Although, um, well, you know, just because you originally thought it was a map doesn't make your initial assumption bad or incorrect. Well, incorrect, yes, but it was a good guess. Allina: I'm sorry? McKay: You're… very, very smart, and, uh… and attractive and whatnot, and, um… You've got a lot of things going for you even when things don't— Allina: Is everything all right? McKay: Everything's great. Everything's really… Why wouldn't it be?

She's pretending like she hadn't been throwing herself at him previously. It's not in response to his approach, it's in response to his accidental confession last night. But the thing is, McKay isn't even hitting on her. He calls her attractive and smart, yes, but that reads a lot more like someone trying to let a person down easy. He tells her, you've got a lot going for you. He is trying to be kind. Yes, he's embarrassed to be doing this because having this kind of conversation is mortifying (and were it not for Sheppard, he wouldn't be doing this; and that's a fact regardless of how you interpret their relationship). He also doesn't actually think she's smart, not in the way that matters. For one, we can compare this with him finding out about Sheppard's Mensa test later. Sheppard being able to solve a puzzle that he couldn't means something to him.

He looks at Sheppard as he's trying to think of what to say to her. To make sure he's not watching him making an ass of himself? Maybe. But he has to look at Sheppard before he can come up with something to tell her. He glances at Sheppard, and then comes up with "You're very very smart, and attractive".

Both are things that Sheppard is, very smart and attractive. John Sheppard has a lot of things going for him. Why do you have to look at your man to be able to come up with something nice to say to a woman? Besides which, they look awfully similar.

And further, we've seen how he behaves around smart women. The smarter they are, the more condescending he is. If he thinks that you are smart, he will try to make you feel dumb because he has poor self-esteem and because intellect has been his battle field. It does not seem like he comes from a wealthy family which means that he has had to fight to earn his place in Academia. He has had to prove that he is the smartest (and hence, that other people are less smart) to get scholarships, to get his foot in the door. He thinks she's smart like a golden retriever, not smart in the sense that she should ever challenge him in any way that matters.

He just does not care about women enough to see them as distinct personalities that might require individual approaches. He's also saying that her initial assumption, that he would be interested in her, was incorrect. He's flattered, sure, but not into her like that.

Sheppard, who has been symbolically between them the whole time, comes to his rescue. He steps in because he can see by the way McKay is using his hand that he is getting agitated which just, again, is a testament to how well he knows him. And Sheppard gets him off the hook by changing the subject:

Sheppard: You're sure we're in the right place? We've almost doubled the size of the dig site, and we haven't found anything yet.

He's not making fun of McKay. He is playing it perfectly straight, like he saw nothing going on, nothing out of the ordinary. It's all business up in here. And McKay seems relieved because figuring things out, trying to solve something is so much more up his alley--and this is also the reason why Sheppard approached him with a question in the first place. He knows engaging McKay's mind is the best way to help him get over his agitation. We see Sheppard do this continuously, consistently, over the seasons. Here, he's not doing it because they're in some kind of trouble, he's doing it out of kindness.

Relevant to what happens next, we see Sheppard look McKay in the eye and wrap his lips around his canteen while holding it in a firm grip. There are so many suggestive shots in this episode.

They discover an entrance leading underground, a hole in the ground, as it were. McKay is mirroring Sheppard in case anyone had any doubt where his physical interest lies.

What they uncovered is supposed to be the "forbidden chamber" to which only brothers (of the Brotherhood) should enter. That also seems awfully suggestive but the killer is McKay's next line:

McKay: So, who wants to go first? Seems sort of like a Sheppard thing.

Going down first seems sort of like a Sheppard thing. Going down first seems like the sort of thing that Sheppard would do.

Now, the thing is, McKay intends no double entendre, he's not making innuendo. He only means to say that Sheppard is the dashing heroic type. He thinks that what ever is down there, Sheppard would be the best and most capable person there to face it first. He's saying that going down a dark hole freaks him out enough that he certainly does not want to go first, and he would feel much better if Sheppard went in first to make sure that there is nothing dangerous down there.

But Sheppard certainly hears a double entendre. You can see it on his face. We have already seen that he appreciates innuendo (cf. Hide and Seek, S01E03), cannot resist the opportunity to turn something into a sexual reference. Jesus Christ, McKay. They were supposed to be being careful, keeping a low profile. Not making jokes about him eating dick right there out in the open.

He appreciates a good dick pun especially because he clearly likes thinking about dicks (I refer you to the time he canonically cannot take his eyes off of a whale dick pic in Echoes, S03E12) but this is awfully bold of McKay. But note that while he looks up at McKay, he doesn't protest, at all. So he likes dick. So he's enthusiastic when going down on a guy. So McKay knows this about him. He'll go down to the forbidden chamber of the brotherhood first but he probably has to bite down on his tongue not to make a more obvious reference in response. There are times for escalating and this isn't it.

Sheppard is on his goddamn knees while this goes down. McKay makes a reference to Sheppard going down first while the man is on his knees in front of him, looks up at him from that position. So that's a thing that actually happened on this show.

Continued in Pt. 6