#there’s something so funny to me. also. about the fact that they’re all living alone .......... but it's together in the same building :)

[kitnita]

i need mav to stay up this season because i need wyatt stank and harls to fight over who gets to move him into their apartment

[depresssant]

Shades of Cool

NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader

synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?

wsp guys. it's been pretty long, huh?... OK IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IT QUICKLY. here, damn 🙄. anyways, i hope yall enjoy n im glad u guys liked the first chapter. lets just hope this one lives up to yalls expectations 😭. follow me and repost this if u want a chapter three. also I NEED SOMEONE TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT SUNDAY FROM HSR BC I WANNA WRITE FICS ABOUT HIM SO BAD SO PLS SOMEONE EDUCATE ME N ALSO IF U KNOW LOVE AND DEEP SPACE??? PLS HIT ME UP AND EXPLAIN THIS LORE BC I WANNA WRITE YANDERE FICS FOR THEM SO BAD

“Why are balls called balls when testicles sounds hella fancier?”

At your friend’s bizarre question, the face of your other friend, Zarian, twinges in disgust. “Jayelene… why do you feel the need to put that out there?”

You huff in amusement, focusing on your pizza before what Jaylene says ruins your entire mood.

“I’m just saying! Testicles just seems more appropriate⏤the type of fancy shit drake and his family would say.”

Tim Drake Wayne…

Dinner with him and his freak-a-zoid family was like trying to make it past no-man’s land without any help to shield you from the straight up chilling vibes they gave off with their constant comments about bat facts. Bats. The atmosphere during the entire time you spent there was dreadful and quite literally heavy since Tim's youngest little brother wanted to sneak stares at you as if you wouldn’t notice his bug-looking eyes creeping into your soul.

Rich people really are weird, huh?

The Wayne family is nothing like how you expected them to be. They’re supposed to be cold, mysterious, and irresistibly enchanting, but all you’ve got are creepy vibes and a strong urge to stay away from them as much as possible. From the way Mr. Wayne made that weird comment about your father in the limo to how forcibly happy Richard or “Dick” was with you, you’ve come to an understanding that rich people are complete lunatics.

The Wayne family is full of a bunch of lunatics.

And you’re not afraid to voice that.

“There you go again,” Jaylene sighs when she notices the irritated expression on your face. “It’s never that serious, [Name]. You just hate everyone.”

“No, you don't get it! They were creepy as hell! Like… Like bats in dark caves coming at you all at once. They talk funny, they look funny⏤they act funny! What normal man name drops your mother’s name after knowing each other for about thirty minutes?”

Zarian huffs in amusement. “That’s the creepy part. How does Mr. Wayne know your name?”

“I dont know.” You run your fingers through your hair and lean back against the booth seat. “I don't want anything to do with them. Billionaire or not, how the hell does he know my mother’s name.”

It was perhaps towards the end of your stay at the Wayne’s manor for dinner, and you knew you had to go home, so you had largely hinted at leaving to Drake. Everything had gotten wrapped up, but when you were just about to leave, Mr. Wayne had told you, “make sure to tell [M/n] I said hi.”

You could only stare at him in shock as your body carried along, because how does a man as famous and wealthy as bruce wayne know your mother⏤your mother? He’s the chief executive officer of Wayne Enterprises yet mentions your mother?

That moment alone is enough to wave every red flag in your brain that screams at you, telling you something is up with these shady people. The only question is what? What can a billionaire possibly want from you? Out of everything the world has to offer, the most influential billionaire in America wants to target some meager high school kid?

What do these people want from you? Is it a rich people thing to play around with those below you? Well, you guess it probably is. Like, is Mr. Wayne gonna pop out with his soulless eyes and say, ‘you’re my long lost child?’ or something?

You still don’t know why you’re being a goat stuffed before slaughtering. These people want something from you, but you? You’ve got nothing to offer that they could want. Why the hell do they even bother? If there's one thing you really hate, it’s being left in the dark like this. Not knowing is terrifying. It's dangerous. Not knowing means not being prepared, and if you’re not prepared, you won’t make it out. Damn it, you should’ve booked it the moment Mr. Wayne mentioned your father in the limo. Movies and shows always display rich people as eccentric and psychopathic weirdos, and now you’re finally believing it.

Damn it.

You’re in danger. Okay.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.

You’ve watched enough true crime and have enough intuition and trust in your gut to know when something is wrong.

It’s not adding up.

You’re not dumb. You see all the warnings there, but what if you're exaggerating. What if this is just the nature of the Waynes, and you think you’re special enough to be noticed by them? Mr. Wayne is a damn billionaire! He’s got the money to do whatever he wants, so it’s only natural for him to do a background check on everybody that interacts with his sons, right?

It’s all in your head… It’s all in your head.

Sighing, you stare at the plate of food in front of you, appetite long gone. Still, you grab a fork and continue to eat as Zarian and Jaylene scream back and forth next to you. Drake, who had accompanied the three of you to the diner after practice, has left, thankfully. He left as soon as his food arrived while talking about some family emergency, and honestly, you’re pretty damn grateful for that.

Ever since dinner at his house, he’s surrounded you like a pillow smothering you, and you can’t do anything about it. He’s a billionaire’s son, for fuck’s sake.

It doesn’t take long for you and your friends to finish up, and you all part ways at the door of the diner before you clutch the straps of your backpack and walk around the city endlessly. This is a habit for you now⏤a way to put off going home as much as possible ever since you found out your mother’s boyfriend doesn’t come home until one or two in the morning.

That balding, ugly, sleazy piece of shit.

He’s as gross as every other man your mother’s brought home under the terribly veiled illusion that he’ll provide her a good life and treat her right. No matter how many times you try to tell that blind bitc… No. It's wrong. It’s not your mother’s fault.

But it sometimes feels like that, though.

Most mother’s destroy their own lives for their children, yet yours cannot even think about leaving the man that beats her child on a daily. Those types of mothers leave their spouses the second they see something wrong, while your mother treats those finger-print bruises around your neck like a necklace instead of abuse.

You’ve given up on her. You gave up on her back when you were eleven years old locked in a room with her boyfriend, and she didn’t listen. Or when you were twelve. Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Or fifteen. Or sixteen. Or seventeen. And now eighteen.

And each day feels like a repetition of the same. Wake up, go to school, practice, walk around, go home, get beat, and sleep like none of it all happens. It’s a routine you despise with every fiber of your being⏤makes you wanna jump over Gotham City Bridge before thinking about returning home because who would want to? Who wants this average life?

A life where you’re not happy enough, not sad enough. Not good enough, not bad enough. Not energized enough, not tired enough. You feel like a survivor of a plane crash floating on a raft at the center of the endless ocean with no way out. Everything just seems so vast, wide, and unreachable. How can you find the shore on a simple raft? How can you find a way out of inescapable misery if it’s not by drowning?

You’ve been waiting to find the shore, but it’s been a whole eighteen years since you’ve found yourself floating along the ocean.

That whole “it’ll get better” shit is a tragic lie.

Whatever.

It doesn’t matter⏤not anymore, at least. You’re going to get far away from this place and never look back. Never have to relieve this wretched city. Never have to be confined by chains again. You’ve only a few months left before you’re free.

Until then, you’ll have to be patient and go home because the sun has fully disappeared.

Nothing but satellites twinkle in the disgustingly polluted sky of Gotham City, and the streets have come to a staggering halt as you stroll about the sidewalks, trying to find the longest path to get home. One in the morning is always the perfect time in Gotham because it’s too late and too early to be outside, so it’s generally safe for a walk.

Of course, the universe likes to prove you wrong at every point.

The sound of a thud followed by a pained groan behind you has your legs locked and ready to run with your brain screaming alerts, but you take a deep breath and turn around. How bad can it get, anyways? The sight before you surprised you nonetheless. It’s… Nightwing, a Bludhaven hero, here in Gotham, just randomly popping up behind you?

With clear bleeding cuts and sprouting bruises across his body.

In the random alley you just happen to be in?

No. You’re looking into it too much.

His eyes lock onto and they make you freeze right then and there like he’s cast some spell upon you. But that’s for a cold, brief second before you’re hooking your thumbs under the straps of your backpacks and turning around hot on your heels, refusing to spare him a single second. 

You even hear him murmur a strained, “wait,” but you don't care. 

It’s rude, mean, cruel, and it’s also none of your business. All you simply do is walk ahead to your approaching doom with an pit of unease and bitter understanding of your helplessness in your stomach. You can already feel the soon-to-be new bruises blooming along your back.

You’re not a good person.

But, really, who is?

Smoking really does skill.

But now you know why people do it.

Each drag is more out of necessity than it is a choice ever since you’ve met your friend’s plug at the dumb age of sixteen, but it's a way to dull the harsh truth of reality. The world just fades into nothing but muted and mixed colors like the loud city underneath your balcony it blurs into a faint hum the longer you stare at the spiral puffs of smoke that disappear into the air. 

Everything’s bitter⏤the joint and you.

Really bitter at the blood semi-dried on your face and the dull ache along your back.

You’ve got about an hour and a half until you have to head out to school, so what other way is there to spend it than smoking away your brain? The joint’s a temporary escape, but it helps you stall whatever new feeling of despair you’ll feel for the day. Until you’re interrupted by your phone buzzing⏤the sound still a dull hum in your ears

“... Hello?”

“[Name]!”

Zarian’s voice?

“Where the hell are you? Hurry up and get to school or else you’re gonna get in trouble for not helping to set up the club fair, and coach will be on our ass! And don't forget to bring money for the tickets!”

Coach?... Club fair?... Club fair! Holy shit!

Your eyes shoot open, and you frantically scramble up, tossing the joint over the balcony railing before hectically staggering through the living room like a drunk man. Damn it, how could you be so clueless and forget such an important event? Especially one you need money for! Damn it⏤damnit! What do you do?

… Mom! She’s got a box of money somewhere in her closet, right? You’ve seen it before! It's just twenty dollars, and she wont notice. Okay… Okay. You’re quick to get ready. You wash away all the blood that’s dried on your face, brush your teeth, and change into baggy jeans and a clean shirt before storming into your mother’s bedroom and rummaging through her things. 

She’s off at work. Her bastard boyfriend doesn't come home until late at night, which means he’s probably already taken money for the day. Okay. That's fine. They won't notice.

But you can't find anything! What the hell? Where is that fucking box? You could’ve sworn it was there on the top shelf last night, but as you swipe your hands across everything on the shelf, you can’t find it. All of a sudden, something made of wood hits the top of your head and falls to the ground with a crack. You hiss, palm moving to cover where you got hit, but your eyes land on the box that now has money strewn all across the floor and a broken… false bottom?

What the fuck.

You pull away at the rest of the false bottom to only be met with countless photos of you as a child with your mother. Mom’s shit boyfriend had all the family photos taken down for some weird reason, so they’ve been here this entire time? All of these photos are full of you throughout every stage of your life, but some have different people in them as well. Their faces are either scratched out or they’re ripped out of the photo entirely.

From what you can gather, the figures are a man and what seems to be a teenage boy. The absurdity and even slight creepiness of the scratched out faces has you laughing, yet even with your now dulled senses, your eyes land on a photo you failed to notice earlier. Maybe you’re hallucinating. There must be something wrong with your brain. Or your eyes. The universe must be playing with you because is that a photo of you and a teenage-looking dick grayson?

Your eyes widen because it looks just like the strange man you had the unfortunate opportunity of having a conversation with during dinner with the Waynes. It’s him! More importantly, why the hell is he holding a ‘three year old’ you’s hand? You probably should be screaming. Yelling. Maybe panicking? But all you can do is shuffle through the rest of the box before your fingers graze against something metal that has your heart jumping.

It’s a small camera.

With a bat engraved on its side.

Ears ringing so loudly in your head you can't even think, you wipe your teary and red eyes hastily before grabbing a twenty dollar bill, putting everything except for the photo and camera in the box, set it back on the closet shelf, and hastily grab your backpack before making way to school.

The second you reach the damned place, you seek out your now three friends and drop into a seat with a heavy thud, sighing and meeting Tim's eyes with a burning gaze.

“You mean to tell me [Name] found the camera? And you decided to tell me after school?”

Time Drake Wayne sighs and runs his fingers through his black hair, shrugging apathetically while scrolling through every photo in his phone that he’s taken of you during the club fair. His brother, Richard, is pacing throughout his room anxiously as he rambles off about their latest fuckup. 

“Look, Bruce doesn't let any slip ups happen,” Tim murmurs in exasperation. “He wouldn't let this happen because [Name]’s mom and him talked this morning. Relax, he probably knows.”

It's not a lot, but it’s enough to calm Richard down. The man takes a deep breath but finds himself sitting down next to Tim, trying to get a good look at the pictures. “How mad was [Name]?”

“High, for starters, but clearly pissed off. Very observant, too.”

“Don’t tell anyone else. Not until Bruce gives us the okay.”

TAGLIST :

@ilovemyhusbandnanami (so real), @missikkj, @ferakillia, @darlinqvi, @soriansick, @sleepydhanie, @h0rr0r-10ver-69 (love ur blog aesthetic bae), @anuttellaa (OK WINX 😽), @feral-childs-word (love the pfp), @shycreatorreview, @friesandfixations, @stuff6969fuckyou, @babiebubsie, @jsprien213, @cattioo, @cherrydaisymanic (cheetah?leopard? printttt 😍), @00hellohello00, @princessloveweird, @amber-content, @idonthaveanameforthisacc, @f1lover4ever, @dreamsarenicer, @imaginarydreams, @solkara (love the calm aesthetic), @bobfood, @toast-on-dandelioms, @ijustfuckme, @cantfindmelol, @xx1shadow1xx, @azulawayne, @box-of-kinderjoy, @iamaunknownsecret, @missybabes, @phoenixgurl030, @couldeatthatgirlforlunch, @devils-blackrose, @arevvv, @freakthis, @yourhornysister, @kirahhhh, @perfectparadisegardener, @testishere, @spaceunicorn293, @vanilliona (love the pfpp), @uknowimdumb, @esposadomd, @dakotali, @lilyalone, @kore-of-the-underworld, @pix-stuff, @hellcatsworld, @chericia, @mspoisoncoil (love the bannnnerrr) , @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @cheeseburgercasserole (love the aesthetic), @twismare

so follow me n repost if u want part lll. and somebody pls explain hsr and love and deepspace lore to me. making a taglistttttt. if this post doesnt get as many likes as the first one, im deleting this series 😭. if u see a grammatical mistake, no u didnt 😃🔪

if anybody’s got requests about this series or in general, feel free to ask!!!

WAIT!! FOLLOW MY WATTPAD ACCOUNT : @depresssant. I JUS PUBLISHED A HISTORICAL YANDERE X READER STORY

[kiirotoao]

Dani @will80sbyers with all of your s3 posts you’re making the gears turn… I can’t believe that the season where Mike and El have the most romantic screen time is also the one where they’re so unserious?? I get that s3 is the dawn of teenager-hood and the messes that come with new emotions and decision-making prowess (failure), but to focus all of that on Mike and El is wild.

Mike is always like “they’re conspiring against me” and blaming Max for making El “spy” on them, and he’s so focused on blame. It’s not his fault for anything he does, which is an incredibly immature mindset, especially towards your supposed lover. It’s not even his fault for Will not liking girls, too. We all know the line and the hurt that he brought with it. So amongst all those offenses, when he looks back, who does he look back to? Who does he show to have offended most and desire to reconcile blame with?

It’s so obvious who he truly cares for. He’s not confused over Will’s emotion. He knows when he hurts him. Meanwhile, he’s making the most confused and detached-from-the-point faces at El when she points out how he hurt her.

Mike cannot read the room when El’s in it. But he can when Will isn’t. That’s true attachment and connection.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that El’s having the time of her life with Max and not Mike. In fact, Elmax’s love throughout this season alone powers El to connect so deeply with Max that she’s able to bring Max back to life after clinical death. In one season.

For the kids, season 3 is about Max being a girl’s girl to El as she dumps Mike’s ass, Lucas being a bro’s bro to Mike while he barely beats a single allegation against him, and Will the Wise ultimately being a fucking boss (with the floundering Sir Mike at his feet as seen above).

Even in such a funny and lively season, it can’t get any clearer to me how much Mike and Will’s relationship is foundational to the emotional storyline of ST and what true love means. Just look at this scene. I remember first watching it and being so moved by how suddenly, between all the bright summer sun, Nancy’s fun dresses, the perpetual noise and laughter, we get this.

This is an argument that bursts because of love. They’re trying to reconnect and understand why they don’t see eye-to-eye anymore. It comes with hurt, but doesn’t love come with hurt? A parent’s discipline. A flesh-wound to heal. Holding someone when they’re crying. Giving up something that you wanted or had. Arguing before you realize your mistakes and come together again. Love does not come when you dump someone who’s not adding to your life. Or when you eat your feelings away instead of facing the problem. Or when you try to fill your apology with material goods. Or when you give compliments. Or especially, love does not happen when you can’t express it.

Love persists against all testing, and we see how that doesn’t work out for Mike and El who stay broken up until the very last second but Mike and Will get back together as a team within the next episode. And people still dare to say that Byler isn’t going to happen? Okay.

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapters 9 + 10 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): watch me bully an old man, aurora slander, osamodas king slander, fat shaming, excessive use of foul language, racism, misogyny, did I mention I loath Aurora?, they’re both bad antagonists your honor, cyberbullying, PURE LOATHING.

I’d like to add a side note here:

I initially planned on reviewing chapters 9 and 10 separately but when I saw that confrontation between Aurora and Amalia, I decided to fuse the two instead. I did NOT want to talk about these specific chapters in their distinct posts because it would’ve sucked to see the conflict between Aurora and Amalia getting cut off in the middle of it.

We’re back.

Let the pummelling begin.

Aurora immediately starts making a fart face as she begins diving down to “attack” Amalia.

Are we impressed? No.

Should we be scared? No.

Should we expect any twist in the fight? No.

As soon as Aurora stupidly declared she wanted to fight, we all knew she was gonna get beat up to shit. Tot and Cathiane were trying very hard not to cringe while showing this. You can trust me, I was there in the room with them when they were thinking about this scene.

This is just very painful but my god was it funny as fuck.

This blue bitch with the witch face really thought she could take on a Mother Nature wielder with her chicken fingers please someone get this moron a brain.

Also what reason could Aurora possibly have to have wanted to beat Amalia to a pulp all these years? She claims she’s dreamed of doing this for so long but based on what reason? The fact that Amalia rejected all of Aurora’s weakass brothers and cousin for marriage? The fact that she would respectfully and calmly try to talk to Aurora even though she never liked her??? Bitch, what was the reason that would have made her so mad you wanted to beat her up????

Even Bonta will hear her scream in pain??? Girl, what the fuck are you babbling about? She clinically does not have a brain, where the fuck did it go? Aurora, YOU KNOW Amalia goes out and travels, right??? You know that her squad is filled with divinities, right??? What part of you thought it was a good idea to say that out loud AND think you had THE ADVANTAGE?????

This bitch wouldn’t survive a day outside of her kingdom, this is so fucking embarrassing. I loath her guts but imagine how embarrassed I’m feeling for her. She’s mentally slow. She doesn’t realize anything that’s coming out of her mouth and doesn’t use whatever’s up in that head of hers to properly think of any situation she’s in. She can’t think for herself, she can’t talk for herself if she wants to claim something, she can’t figure out the level of danger that she’s in, she can’t fight, she can’t lead, she can’t speak politely to servants, she can’t even be honest in a normal situation. I bet she can’t even make a sandwich for me, this hoe is even useless in the kitchen, on god.

And finally. FINALLY.

WE FINALLY GET TO HEAR AMALIA SAY THOSE WORDS.

You have no idea how much I fucking wanted Amalia to beat the living crap out of her and tell her how fucking weak she truly is compared to her. I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since we saw her stupid ass “family” make its entrance in Chapter 1.

YES, TELL THIS CUNT THE SEVERE GAP OF YOUR STRENGTH LEVEL ‼️‼️‼️

TURN THIS BITCH INTO A MCSANDWICH ‼️

Amalia is speaking our thoughts so coherently. Not once did we think Aurora was a menace, let alone even an antagonist. This bitch is just so braindead and one-dimensional that even calling her “self-aware” or “sentient” is odd to say.

With all the shit she’s been doing, Aurora is not even an annoyance, she’s a migraine.

This shot of her just getting the shit get beaten out of her made me so happy, you have no idea.

Like Tot must’ve been WAITING to see this hoe get wrecked too.

@geekgirles once explained how the osamodas’ strength might just be very weak compared to other races and how that weakness reflected itself based on where it was positioned in Oropo's tower. Coqueline can also be considered as a preview of what Aurora and her dad's strength would've looked like in the great wave because even Coqueline STRUGGLED to throw good attacks while fighting Oropo. She was canonically confirmed to be the oldest of the Siblings (even older than Echo) and yet the only thing she could have come up with while fighting Oropo was to use her teeth to try to tear Oropo's new form?? She literally went on all fours and tried to attack him with basic primitive skills. Literally what the heck.

So yeah, Aurora is unsurprisingly getting beat up and thrown around like a rag-doll by Amalia.

Amalia, honey.

Aurora’s not naive, she’s just really slow.

And yet that’s not even what we can describe it either.

Your pride is still here dumbass cuz you don’t look fine at all.

You got thrown so hard you couldn’t even fly, bitch.

Hoe thinks she was fine after the beating AND the throwing and then lies again about it.

Fucking pathetic.

I bet if she got a sword stabbed in her womb, she’d be like “i’M FiNe FaThER, bUt I cAN’t SaY tHe SaMe fOr mY pRiDe.” SHUT YOUR DUMBASS UP-

When Amalia comes up to them, this is where the osamodas king pulls out another weak manipulation tactic by saying this:

Motherfucker, you attempted to kick her out of her kingdom, her home, what the fuck are you talking about? Bitch is clarifying that Aurora’s child is Amalia’s nephew now??? He is so fucking weak, he’d pretend like he never tried kicking her out like a complete stranger just to save his own skin.

This dick dared to throw the “he’s your family” card on her as if he didn’t just encourage Aurora to tell Amalia she doesn’t belong in her fucking kingdom a few hours ago.

Dude thought he ate, this is so embarrassing.

Look at him trying to scramble his way out of this.

Now that he realizes how weak and pathetic he is against A PRINCESS WHO BECAME QUEEN JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, he’s trying to do anything in his power to do what he does best to get out of this alive: lie and manipulate.

Only this predictably fails since Amalia had enough of his and his trophy daughter’s bullshit of constantly being forced to have them around.

And Amalia is absolutely pissed off that they can just say whatever they want so SHE ENUMERATES THE THINGS THAT THEY DID JUST SO SHE CAN BE SURE IT FINALLY DRILLED IN THEIR HEADS.

Even though what she said wasn’t exactly everything they did, she still has a right to point out the main thing they are known for since the necrome war.

But nah, they’re too stupid to actually get it and don’t even bear a second to the idea that their actions could have cost AN ENTIRE FUCKING RACE TO ERASE FROM THE WORLD. Imagine not having a full grasp of the idea that you could have been responsible for an entire race disappearing but also be the reason why the world had suddenly lost about 15% of its population in under a second.

No jackass you’re not leaving.

You’re dying here.

Also what the fuck? He got backed to a corner by a queen newbie and he still has the balls to say that he’ll come back???

Is he trying to see his daughter get her ass kicked again???? Or is he trying to see how long he could last the next time they meet????

How the fuck is he king??? What the hell is that strategy he came up with???? You call that a STRATEGY?????

Now I understand why we never saw him in any of the past seasons before. I understand why his fucking advisor has to be king for him.

Cuz he sucks at his own fucking job.

That guy hired his counsellor to represent him which is why every time the royal council of the world had to reunite, it was always the old white-bearded dude who spoke and was actually present.

This fucking gorilla was so absent from his own duties. So much so, that for an extremely long time, since 2012, we all thought the white-bearded guy representing the osamodas race from Season 2 was actually the real osamodas king. It wouldn’t surprise me if his own people thought his counsellor was their king because not only did WE think that way, but it was also because we learned in Season 4 that this fucking gorilla stayed in caves for long undetermined amounts of time and would hang around with THESE UGLY CRUSTY BATS WE’VE SEEN IN THESE TEN CHAPTERS while he’d be there doing god knows what with them.

This man, actually no that’s not a man. I’d be insulting them if I was insinuating he was one of them.

This fat ugly gorilla not only thinks he can just come back from a fight he already lost without any shame or awareness, but he thought he could handle TWO KINGDOMS AT THE SAME TIME WHEN HE WASN’T EVEN PERSONALLY TAKING CARE OF HIS OWN TO BEGIN WITH.

We don’t even know why he’s been in the caves on his own for so long but it sure as hell couldn’t have been more important than taking care of A FUCKING NATION, YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC CUNT-

I was so ecstatic when I saw that panel cuz not only did that mean I was going to see more prolonged pummelling, but it also means I get to see Aurora act like a total dumbfuck more.

Ew.

By the way, I love how @articwolfclawartist noticed the parallels with the choking here.

Amalia then commits animal abuse and that’s how these two ended up on the ground looking like disheveled and panting losers.

So Amalia not only beats AN OSAMODAS PRINCESS but also AN OSAMODAS KING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

Must be embarrassing for the osamodas king above all. This fat gorilla is much older, more experienced than Aurora, and has been a king for a long time even before Amalia and Aurora were even born.

And who did he lose to?

To a young Sadida princess who became queen just a few months ago.

The fight hadn’t even lasted 30 minutes and he already lost by forfeiting the battle when he realized he and his trophy daughter had been cornered by sadida bomb dolls.

I repeat.

This “man”, who was king for decades, lost a deadly battle against a princess who became queen a few months ago.

He is such a fucking clown and so are all his offsprings cuz my god he has so many.

….she’s incredibly slow what the fuck.

I bet my whole bank account that the entire iop race can skillfully determine when their opponent wants to kill them better than Aurora.

Aurora: “ShE…sHe’S rEAlLy tRYinG To KiLl uS…”

Aurora a second ago: “I’d rather die than run away from that little brat…”

@pinkysgallery summarized it perfectly here.

And just like animals being hunted in the wild, Amalia corners them with freaking bomb dolls and makes these two look terrified as shit. Good. Their fears make me ecstatically happy.

But AURORA has the fucking nerve to speak again and make her look even more braindead than she already was.

I have so many things to say about this moment:

1) What is bitch talking about? This is the shit she can come up with? “ShOrt TeMpErEd”??? You guys didn’t even talk during the fight so how was she short-tempered if she didn’t speak about anything that would have made her look short-tempered???

2) Aurora is a fucking hypocrite but she’s such a hypocrite that she can’t connect the dots and realize how slow she looks when she quickly snapped just for seeing a female sadida servant being scared of her crusty bat, a male Sadida and a female eliatrope getting married, and knowing that she couldn’t fight Amalia so she still went on and tried doing that and expectedly failed miserably.

3) Contradicted to what??????? What is the chicken yapping about????

I believe she took her worthless manipulation “skill” from her dad. If you pay attention to her ugly chicken claws in the panel above, it’s shaking meaning that she’s genuinely scared of Amalia when she FINALLY learned that the boss-ass queen was trying to kill her.

See, here’s the thing I don’t get.

Sure, the osamodas king did not poison Yugo because we see who it was later on after the osamodas king’s interaction with Amalia ends.

But, here he is again telling Amalia she has no place IN HER FUCKING HOME ANYMORE.

According to who??? Who said she doesn’t belong here??? You??? The fucking outsider??? The king to ANOTHER FUCKING KINGDOM???

Oh yeah, right. You don’t rule your own kingdom that’s true. Your fucking counsellor does your job for you so that you can chill with some ugly crusty bats in caves and probably fuck them too while you’re at it.

He just said that she shouldn’t have hurt her nephew but bitch, if she’s his nephew, that then technically means she has to stay in her kingdom to teach him the Sadida way cuz he’s technically gonna be the future Sadida king. Literally what the fuck????

Ever since these two loser clowns came, they told her she had to leave but why????? When Armand got married to Aurora, Amalia stayed and there were no objections. So why is it a problem now??? If anything, now is the best time for her to stay cuz she’s the only one in the royal Sadida family who’s left and can teach her nephew the Sadida culture.

These people treat kingdoms so badly and have poor organisation to the point that the osamodas king had to be replaced by his fucking counsellor.

Fucking kill me already.

I don’t believe Amalia will receive any severe consequences. If she was ever interrogated and she told them the story from her perspective, these two bozos would look extremely suspicious. Cuz from Amalia’s pov, this is what she could say: “I was having a normal day, these two show up and demand the thrown and tell me to leave and on the very same day, my husband gets poisoned so I attack them and fight them. The fight hasn’t lasted 30 minutes and they easily leave.”

Also from who is she going to get any kind of consequence??

The other rulers??? They wouldn’t dare do anything when Yugo’s acting so unhinged right now.

From Gorilla and Chicken’s “family”??? They are so many, I’m pretty sure one of them wouldn’t mind taking the osamodas throne if it means taking the side of Amalia.

Sure, Amalia will learn that Gorilla and Chicken weren’t actually responsible for Yugo’s poisoning but do you really think she’d still give them her position after knowing they weren’t guilty? Hell no.

This fight meant more than just punishing them for thinking they had committed a crime. This fight also meant the beginning of her separation from the osamodas. For too long she had been forced to get used to them around her when Armand was alive but now she’s queen and gets to finally decide to cut them off for good.

In a way, this is also ironic. Gorilla and Chicken were expecting to cut off Amalia from her kingdom and yet here she is cutting them off from what they thought would be theirs if they just yapped and acted like fake responsible royals.

YEAH FUCKING KICK THEM OUT MAKE THEM WISH THEY WERE NEVER HERE ‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m so happy she finally fucking beat the shit out of them so that they can FINALLY learn that they have no place here.

YOU BLUE-SKINNED DEVILS HAVE NO PLACE WITH THE SADIDAS GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY ‼️‼️

Man, they’re such racists too cuz they realized the eliatropes stayed here, can you believe that? The audacity.

I’m just pissed that she didn’t kill them off though. They might come back for whatever fucking reason which infuriates me to no end cuz like…how the fuck do you come back after getting your ass beat the fuck out by one person when you had someone with you???

I swear if they come back wearing a smirk, I’m eating raw chicken and gorilla brain on the same day.

Fuck these people and fuck anyone who thinks they’re good antagonists. These shitheads gave me a daily migraine during the first volume and I’m so fucking glad they’re not acting like they’re the shit right now.

Look at them running away with their tails between their legs.

THIS IS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THEY RAN AWAY WTF

If they think they’re royals and can take care of a kingdom, then why the fuck do they run away constantly???

Can you imagine having them as your king and princess? I’d rather die cuz I might as well vanish from the face of the earth if I was a sadida while being aware that these two animals would rule my kingdom.

I bet that the simple inconvenience that could impact the sadida kingdom would make them run away. If that happens, I wanna know what’s Aurora’s excuse this time.

The two people who shouldn’t have interacted so much in the necrome war were Eva and Armand. Eva was able to fight while handling two hyperactive children, and Armand was a fucking king and yet he was fighting on the first line of the battlefield.

Plenty of people, myself included, focused on Aurora leaving during the necrome war but now that I keep thinking about it more, the osamodas king was a bigger deal because he DID NOT have a reason to tell Aurora to run before running first.

If anything, because of the gorilla hanging around in caves and Aurora doing god knows what when Armand used to do his royal job, these two goobers are just royal cosplayers.

Literally. They’re just royal cosplayers.

Gorilla doesn’t do anything besides hanging in caves and Chicken just stands around.

I want you to know how big of a deal this is.

This is serious to think about cuz why the fuck WOULD ANYONE ENTRUST ANYTHING TO THESE CUNTS?????

Anyway, now that we’re done with whatever kind of circus that was, we go back to Yugo and Adamaï trying to balance the poison.

Yugo stop stressing me out with your words.

I know you’re not thinking straight right now and you’re having trouble thinking optimistically in a time like this, but YOU’RE THE SAME PERSON WHO KEEPS SAYING THAT THERE’S ALWAYS A SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING.

You’re gonna be fine AND you’ll find a way to get rid of the poison. You’ve got six Dofus, which can turn any demigod, and mortal, into a god! I’m pretty sure a deadly poison has got nothing on you if you’ve got these artifacts with you.

You’ll be fine (I’m definitely not trying to calm myself down rn)

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

The mysterious dragon and the female sadida servant were accomplices all along.

Not gonna lie, I seriously thought the Gorilla and Chicken hired this sadida servant for sharing the same hatred towards Yugo and Amalia, but now that I learned I was wrong, I have to keep reminding myself that the blue-skinned “royals” should not be taken seriously but should be treated like NPCs instead.

What flabbergasted me at this moment, however, was the reveal.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the female sadida servant wasn’t real. Instead, it was just a disguise. The actual culprit was…

Julith.

Freaking Julith.

She had been ordered by the dragon to poison these two which ended up making Yugo drink it alone instead. @onyichii once theorized, back when chapters 7-8 came out, that the female sadida servant in question could have been Julith and they ended up ACTUALLY BEING RIGHT.

Hi daddy 🥰💕 help me instead 🥰🥰

It was Grougalorasalar guys….

I-

I really thought the mysterious dragon in the dream was Draconiros…

Ever since Chapter 1 came out, I went on a legitimate rant/theory explaining why it would make a thousand times more sense that it was Draconiros and not Grougalorasalar.

Last time I checked, both dragons were the best choice for this theory but I was still shocked that it was the black dragon all this time. I was mainly surprised because Grougalorasalar had been part of Ogrest’s chaos when he was fighting Yugo and Dally back in the ovas which would be weird if he was the same dragon who traumatized Yugo in his sleep for unintentionally causing chaos around the world.

Not to mention that he’s smirking here almost like he’s enjoying the sight of Yugo suffering like this. Now yes, he technically hates Yugo so it would make sense to see that he’s enjoying his pain but then why did he tell Julith that they’ll put a traumatized Yugo and a confused Adamaï out of their misery if he’s now saying this? :

“We’ll talk about it later” ???

What do you mean by that?

When the poison didn’t fully do its job due to the six Dofus in his body, didn’t you just come out in the open to kill Yugo once and for all? Why then tell him that “we’ll talk about it later”?

This makes me wonder if there’s more to this poisoning than we’ve been let on.

Because there’s a possibility that since Grougalorasalar noticed the poison hasn’t entirely worked, maybe he’ll try something else or severe the effects of the poison by moving Yugo and Adamaï away from the Sadida kingdom right now.

mom come pick me up

Grougalorasalar is weird. Not in a bad way but not in a good way either.

He’s just weirdly weird? Does that make any sense?

At first, when I read chapter 10 for the first time, I thought Grougalorasalar being the one responsible for the poison wouldn’t have made sense until @kerubimcrepin explained how black dragons tend to be more inclined to cause chaos.

So I guess it would make sense why he’d be perfectly fine prolonging Yugo’s suffering if it meant it could slowly kill him? But then again, we have no idea if the belladone is even deadly enough to kill Yugo because he’s still breathing. The belladone poison should’ve killed him instantly so maybe the poison is only effective enough to severely injure Yugo but nothing more than that.

Man, I hate that it ended on a huge cliffhanger like that cuz how is Yugo supposed to get out of this one and how will they all react when they find out it was Grougalorasalar and Julith who tried poisoning them?

Do people know that Julith was supposed to be dead? Amalia knows her world of twelve history pretty well given her royal education so maybe she learned of Julith’s death in one of her classes teaching her about the Dofus era when she was younger.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

Yugo, Adamaï, and Amalia will all be shocked as all hell in the 2nd volume.

My god, I already need it so badly I can’t wait anymore…

I’m scared and I don’t wanna throw up when I see what’s next for them…

[34saveme34]

SMG34: The Rot (a fic by yours truly)

image semi related

summary: 3 gets told to come and investigate this thing called "The Rot" in a forest, so him, 4, Meggy, Mario and Boopkins (surprisingly) set out to check it out, although things get a little odd as the Rot's influence gets to our favourite man. Sure wonder what'll happen to him!

word count: 5722

3 wasn’t happy he got roped into this. However he owed this one… he owed this one to Meggy. He hated how the closer he became to 4’s crew they only seemed to able to collect more firt on him. Although he didn't know how she could get her hands on his online activity on such forums, he thought he was better this time at covering his tracks…At least he wasn’t alone, a few others came along, like 4, Boopkins and Mario.

It was… a hike. Through the forest. Meggy had seen strange sightings and wanted to bring along others as well. This worried 3 because he really really didn’t want to break his streaming streak. He had been doing so well, having a schedule and everything and of course as soons as he got on track, someone had to come in and ruin it. This always happened so it didn’t surprise him too much but he was mad about it either way.”

However, Meggy agreed with him that he could stream this, it would be especially cool if they were to find something interesting, as if they were ghost hunters. At least something 3 can look forward to. Things that could make his streaming careers more successful always had an easier time persuading him. And he knew that, he wasn’t happy about it, but it was just a fact of life. Just like how he knew how close he grew to 4. It was hard to deny, he really cared about him. Though sometimes, scratch that, just about all the time, he made it really hard to do so. He didn’t remember a prolonged peaceful time with him. Something always has to happen, with the tension they developed over the years. But honestly, who could blame them for that?

Something that Meggy forgot to do among all things she should’ve done, was ask the others if they’re okay with the livestream. It’s really not the greatest thing to argue about on live.

“I don’t wanna have the pressure of invisible eyes on me while I don’t even know what I’m facing!” 4 whined, he looked a bit scared.

“Finally, I can add more to my smg4 fail compilation, you better not disappoint” 3 giggled, making 4 groan.

“It’s not funny, you know! Also I'm just as capable to embarrass you as well! I know what you are”

“Oh, you bastard? Are you threatening me? Right in front of my viewers?? I’ll get you cancelled on Twitter for this one!”

“Not Twitter, god no, though I bet they would like some things I have a hold of myself, like that search query you did concerning-” 4 smirked at 3, seemingly the 2 were just about to fight before Meggy pulled them apart.

“Okay, guys, that’s enough! Let’s get going”

“Oooooh” Mario pouted, putting down the popcorn he pulled out of nowhere. He loved to watch his guardians fight for such low stakes. There was something special about the ones making him dance like a clown dance for him on their own volition. 

“So what are we looking at anyways?” Boopkins asked, looking scared.

“I… can’t say. I think you have to see it yourself to believe it. Although I just like to call it the rot.”

“Th… The rot?” my guy was shaking. Boopkins, what the hell, you just got here.

“Why are you here anyways? No naptime for you?” Mario teased him. 

“Umm no… I just wanna try and get braver! So I can be there for my friends even more!”

“Aww, yea yea now let’s get going!” Meggy truly had enough with the banter. But would it be a real live stream if it started smoothly?

They started walking, with Mario and Meggy in the lead, with Boopkins not too far behind them. However 3 and 4 were at the back, not much further but they definitely weren’t as close to Boopkins as he was to Mario and Meggy.

3 turned his camera at 4 which made him frown.

“What, am I that interesting? Am I getting views for you?” 4 whined sarcastically, he didn’t feel like being on a stream right now. Especially since this expedition pulled him away from meme creation. As in his one and true love!

“Well, you might! Just do something embarrassing, that’d definitely work!”

“Like what, tell them about when we were younger I busted you in the toilets with-” 4 got slapped before he could answer. 

3 wasn’t having any of it.

“Very mature of you to bring up the past, really, classic SMG4”

“At least I didn’t like, I don’t know, try to kill people”

“Don’t you have a body count higher than zero?”

“You… can’t prove that. Besides I bet you killed more!”

“And that’s in the past, you know? Besides, being an ex villain makes me hotter, just ask my fans”

4 looked so done with 3, especially after he showed his chat filled with overflowing thirsty support for his post villain self. 3 loved the reaction, it was like warming him up from the inside. Although he would like it better if his charisma was more appreciated by his guardian partner. 

“Aaah yes, so hot twitch streamer, Super Meme Guardian 3, I could never compare” 

3 laughed and looked at his chat then frowned. This surprised 4 a bit, especially since 3 decided to face his camera ahead again, to record where they’re actually walking. 3 sighed, which held 4’s attention longer than it should have.

“What’s up?” 4 asked quietly.

“Not much… just a cringe comment I didn’t like” 3 basically brushed him off. It seemed he didn’t want to go into it so 4 left him to it. It had been hard, but 4 had been trying to pay attention to when he needed to stop. He had been getting to a point where he could tell that he shouldn’t bother 3 further. It became mildly easy as he noticed how much of an open book 3 is. Just push the correct buttons and you get him all wrapped within your grasp. Like to do your bidding and stuff. 4 considered 3 a great ally and he used him a lot as well. Although he still cared about him a lot. Sometimes he wondered if 3 realised that. He just didn’t really know how to be affectionate towards 3. Whenever he tried to be serious about it, it kind of fell apart. Wanting to be kind towards him in hard situations, like when they were stuck in the elevator, yet he was met with hostility. The whole situation reminded him of a cold, snowy day as well. He shook his head hard, he didn’t need that thought right now. 3 looked at him confused, then saw how 4 was looking in the distance, and sadness he forgot to hide still showing. 3 passed his camera to Boopkins for a bit.

“Can you hold this for me for a bit?” 3 reached to Boopkins who took the camera gently with a smile. Since he helped him out with the date with M… Mi… Micheal? What was it again? He felt a bit more tolerable. Not by much though.

“Sure thing!”

Although the camera looked a little funny in his hands, considering how the camera was like third his size.

4 paid attention to this, a bit confused at what 3 was doing. He did find Boopkins struggling to carry the camera a bit funny though.

“So” 3 pulled 4 close by his back, wrapping his arm around him, continuing in a hushed tone “What’s the gloom for? It’s super obvious and it bothers me so that’s why I’m bothering you about it”

4 chuckled.

“I’m glad you care. That’s all I needed actually” 4 showed a genuine smile to 3 which left him speechless. 4 could see he made 3 a bit flustered, maybe a bit more than just a bit…

It’s like he was buffering or something.

“Ugh” 3 pulled away “Your sweetness makes me sick, god damn it… baka”

Slowly Mario turned around, pulling out a tiny rainbow flag.

“This you?” he pointed at the 2.

3 was too shocked to react, 4 threw a loose branch at him which got into his eye. Mario started screaming in his iconic way. Meggy slapped him into a new shape.

“Shhh!!! Don't disturb the wildlife, idiot!”

Mario whined quietly, removing the tiny branch from his eye. Just as he removed it, he basically forgot it was there, as he continued frolicking.

3 finally took his camera back from Boopkins.

“Finally, my arms were starting to get tired!” Boopkins sighed with relief. 

Meggy turned to him although still walking.

“I could coach you to get stronger”

The relief quickly flew out of Boopkins, rather replaced with a pale expression.

“I hope I don’t hurt you with this, but I’d rather not if it’s okay”

“Your loss” Meggy shrugged.

As they continued, they started to find traces of the so-called Rot.

“This energy feels familiar” 3 exclaimed.

“Same here…” 4 added, as he exchanged a glance with 3. 

“That’s a good thing! Any idea what we could be dealing with then?”

“So…” 4 started “It could be a new meme. Although I… don’t remember ever seeing it before”

“The name rot does fit it though” 3 continued “You think it could do with all the memes people used to make about bogs?”

“That’s a nice thought! Or maybe one of those nature allegory memes that sometimes pop up… most of the time from Tumblr”

“Ah right, Tumblr, this could be one of their creations”

“I thought Tumblr was dead” Meggy looked behind at the 2 as they continued on, seeing more rot on the trees and in the ground. It seemed they were getting closer and closer to the core of it.

“That’s what they all think” 3 and 4 said at the same time, then laughed at how in sync they were.

“What is tumblr?” Mario asked. The others looked at him with a knowing look. He deflated, seeing no one wanted to elaborate.

While the lighthearted banter they got into was nice, 3 couldn't shake off the tension he was feeling. Probably thanks to 4. He didn't like how his mind went for the worst when it came to him. He tried to concentrate on the task on hand, the sooner it was over, the sooner he could escape.

As they continued on, 3 was starting to feel a headache get to him. It was starting to be a bit difficult holding the camera. He tried so hard to be there but it felt like slowly everything was slowing down around him. He looked ahead… then he found himself staring at 4, getting even slower, blurrier, slowly things becoming less and less comprehensive, yet he could still feel in his heart just how worried 4 was. It felt… nice. He was glad 4 cared about him. Then everything went black. At least mostly. He was stuck in a weird state, still lightly aware of his surroundings, as he could feel himself falling over, then being grabbed and held close… Held close…? What for?

He lightly managed to open his eyes and tried to perceive the world around him, although it hurt him. It was difficult, but he figured out he was stuck in 4’s arms. Not exactly somewhere he wished to be while in a state like this. He kind of imagined feeling this sick while being cared for in his bed. Thinking about it… he wouldn’t mind 4 being there then. But this is just… embarrassing… He really hoped the stream wasn’t getting any of this… He already saw that one comment referring to 4 and him in weird ways and he didn’t like that. He felt uncomfortable on 4’s behalf as well. Who knows how hard his fans would tear him apart if they knew that he and 4 need to hold hands to use their meme guardian powers. It made him think about how he would even handle having a relationship like this. Either he would have to hide this person even if he was proud of pulling a bad bitch or have them be on display but risk the parasocial freaks coming in and ruining his dating life. He wasn’t new to the parasocial rodeo at this point, he knew about the sexyman allegations. Though it’s not like he wanted a relationship right now anyways. He liked to joke about getting bitches but he really just did that because he felt humiliated at the thought that he couldn’t pull anyone. He closed his eyes, trying to close out the sight that was 4 carrying him. That’s not to say he was fully against it but he won’t admit that so soon. But as he closed the sight out, he could hear words better.

“Homo…” he could hear Mario start then if he was guessing right, he got slapped since he stopped speaking.

“Well I’m not just gonna drag him by the foot, that would be cruel” he could hear 4 retort at the homosexual allegations.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Meggy asked, concern in her voice. 3 was kind of glad he had friends that cared for him. He wished he could say that without getting embarrassed. He hoped that they knew about it at least a little bit, as much as he could hint. But not too much, their annoying asses didn't deserve to see THAT much of him.

“I think so” 4 said “But he’s definitely not streaming like this, can we turn it off?”

“Well if you insis-” Meggy started.

“Nnnn…nnooooo… ss… stream…” 3 tried to get it out, the words small and weird. But they were heard. He didn’t like ending streams so suddenly. He’d rather die on camera than suddenly end a stream.

He heard 4 chuckle.

“Look at him, even in this state, he cares about his fans”

“How nice of him” Boopkins spoke up.

“I can see said fans are feeling the same way!” Meggy chuckled “It seems a lot of people are interested in what’s up here anyways so… for 3!”

“For 3!” both 4 and Boopkins cheered. 

If 3 was fully there, he would be so embarrassed. He’d hate it. He’s starting to like this… as if he’s looking in from the outside, not subject to the actual affection of his friends yet still being the subject of it. Unbeknownst to him, he was smiling about this in 4’s arms, who noticed so. But didn’t dare comment on it. Who knows how his insane fans would treat it. Although he couldn’t just go without letting 3 know, if he could hear him.

“If you only looked this cute while conscious” 4 chuckled into 3’s ear. It sent a jolt through 3’s body, but still not enough to get him out of his state. So it was all still energy, so much, as if continuously zapping his mind. What the FUCK did 4 just say?? HIM??? CUTE??? Well, he was handsome but CUTE??? HIM??? No way, 4 didn’t know what he’s talking about. Yet the words rang in his mind, foreverly so, not leaving him. Like a forever moment. Feeling obsessed with it, even if he didn’t want to be. It made him feel so warm. Like he could feel it physically now. He heard 4 chuckle, unsure where to put it, it only made him feel weirder. It was like 4 had his fingers wrapped around him in a mental sense as well, whatever he would say, he wouldn’t be able to escape. It was… weird feeling this vulnerable.

Slowly he stirred more in 4’s arms. Still remaining as calm as he could manage, to not disturb 4 too much. He was actually kind of comfortable. Not like he’ll say that out loud. Maybe he’ll write it down in his notebook later. It had been a great source of coping for him. Writing about the things that made him feel feelings usually made them easier to digest. He looked up at 4 with half lidded eyes, he seemed so… focused. He noticed then 4 looking down, which surprised him a bit. 4 smiled, then looked to the side.

“It seems he looks a bit better now”

“That’s good! Makes me feel less bad about how we keep on going”

“We should stop for a bit though… my arms are standing to get tired… he isn’t exactly light”

“...Bitch” 3 muttered, first coherent thing he said since falling over like a log.

Everyone kind of laughed about it.

“Mario agrees!” Mario stopped and immediately whipped out his pocket spaghetti. Who knows how long that’s been there. He seemed to be happy to eat it either ways.

They all laid down for a bit, 4 laying 3 down as well then sat beside him. He really just decided to sit beside him. Maybe he really did care.

3 reached up, as best as he could as he regained his strength, reaching to 4. 4 looked at his hand a bit confused, then decided to hold it, not really understanding what 3 wanted.

“Pfft… sure whatever”

“What?” 4 asked but 3 only rolled his eyes in response.

“Guess you don’t need it then”

4 took his hand away. 3’s smile lightly faded away but not too much. He didn’t want it to be too obvious that he was disappointed about that. He wasn’t even sure how to explain that he was disappointed. He just knew that it meant a lot to him that 4 did that. He never imagined he would get so weak about him. Weak about whatever 4 directed his way.

Let it be his insults or the looks he could give him when he showed he cared. He wanted to have him whole, with all those silly little intricacies that made him who he was, even his cringe memes. Never did he care so much for someone in his life… What… What did he mean by this? Oh… OH… no… not here… not now… why couldn’t this happen at like- a more appropriate place- somewhere without 4 preferably- Well, the world is cruel to him so now he had to keep himself together in this damned situation.

He slowly sat up, not really looking at anything. He slowly breathed in, then out, slowly calming the nerves that scream about what’s boiling underneath his skin, his mind. His feelings were. Restless.

“Are you okay, 3?” Meggy turned to him, with a soft, understanding smile.

“So-so… could be better” 3 smiled back, which surprised Meggy a little.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Not much… But…” 3 took all the strength in himself, all his emotional strength “I think the rot feeds on… frustration? I think, or anger.. I remember feeling sort of angry before… since a certain someone here can be such a piece of ass here” 3 said as he directly looked at 4.

“Did you hear what I say to you? If so, right now I’m really meaning it”

“Asshole…”

“What did you say to him?” Meggy asked, a bit suspiciously.

“That’s between us” 4 said, as he got up “We gotta keep moving anyways, I can feel how close we are”

“Yeah… let’s” 3 slowly got up, stretching his back, being held for a bit there made his back feel like a quirky little snake. The slightly loud pop from his back made Boopkins jump.

Mario looked at the 2, a big big grin that kept getting bigger.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmm” he teased the 2, just even with his menacing Mario gaze.

3 and 4 exchanged glances.

“Home of sexual” Mario claimed, with the same big grin. 4 was ready to throw hands but 3 just got up and started walking. This shocked both but especially Meggy.

“I have no power or need to feel angry right now let’s just go, I’ll feed him bombs when we get back” 

“Feeding time?” Mario looked on with great interest, his selective hearing deciding to focus right on the word ‘feed’ “Does Mario get his spaghetti?”

“Later, red, we have a mission on our hands right now”

As Meggy spoke, 3 realised his camera was in Meggy’s hand. He quickly took it back, Meggy barely realising it was taken from her.

“What’s up, chat! I live! I could never leave a stream interrupted, all of you know I’m stronger than that so I’m here again!” he marched on, with a big smile on his face. This surprised the others, especially 4 and Meggy as they looked at each other then followed after him, with Boopkins hurrying after them with his short legs. Mario shrugged, quickly forgetting about food as he followed behind them a bit delayed.

“Oh thanks for the bits! As for your question, we’re looking into something geniusly named the rot!.... ‘Is it really named the rot?’ It wasn’t named by me, I would’ve given it a better name, like forest meme fungus parasite or something like that”

“That’s actually kind of lame” 4 said.

“I agree actually” Meggy added.

Boopkins looked too concerned to end up on either sides.

“Whatever… ‘How far is it? We’ve been here for a while’ I think we’re getting closer! As you can see the trees look much different here” he put his hand against a tree, which leaked weird residue “AAAAH EWW EWW WHAT THE HELL”

4, Meggy and Mario laugh at him.

“Stuuu-piiiid” Mario keeps laughing.

3’s eyes twitched, but he was keeping his cool.

“And I think this isn’t even the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen him do!” 4 said.

Oh 4. His sweet prince. He’s done it. Truly. 3 slowly looked at him, 4 started to look scared. 3 ran at him, camera still in his hand, getting the weird liquid on him as well.

4 looked offended to hell, heaven and purgatory, he was NOT letting this go so easily. He grabbed a bit of rot as well and threw it at 3.

Mario clapped, the clowns are dancing again. Boopkins hid behind Meggy, who didn’t look very satisfied with Mario.

But, oh, if she didn’t pay attention to him, she would have realised that the ground was moving, but she only noticed when it was already pulling 3 and 4 down, and fast at that.

“4!!! 3!!!” Meggy cried out, trying to reach into the rot to no avail. It seemed she couldn’t get into it like those 2 managed to. 

“Oh nooo” Mario genuinely got sad as he got down beside Meggy.

“What do we do now?” Boopkins went there last, although just as concerned as the other 2.

“I don’t know… the best we can do is… I think we should go back and get some tools! Maybe we can dig them out. Hopefully before the sun sets” Meggy proposed her idea, the other 2 nodded as they got up and started to run back, although not too fast to preserve stamina. They’re gonna NEED it.

3 and 4 laid there, underneath for a bit. It took a while until one woke up, which was 4. They were on top of each other, which he wasn’t too thrilled about. Though, to his horror, he couldn’t get up. He was stuck to him like this. At least it was just by their waists mainly… Who was he kidding, that’s probably the worst place to get stuck at, hands were way better, he’d rather have a week of that than this! He looked around, seeing that the place wasn’t big anyways. It was kind of dark, only illuminated by the rot’s faint blueish-green glow. What a weird way for a meme to manifest. At this point he was pretty sure it was a meme, although a powerful one. It seemed it had a strong staying power, one he hadn’t seen in a while. Another sign that it could be from Tumblr. He never liked Tumblr memes, they were always weird and hard to deal with. Since 3 was still not awake, 4 couldn’t channel the meme away either, 3 had to be at least awake for that. At least it was calm. He decided to pay attention to 3’s face. Just like before, he looked so peaceful. Although he could appreciate the energy he brought, he sometimes wished 3 could direct energy like this at him. He smiled, glad that he could get something like this to happen, although he’s still not very happy about the situation. As 4 looked around again, he noticed the lightly damaged camera, directed at them, still on. 

“Ah” was all that was left in his mouth, as he went a bit pale, knowing what they were doing was broadcasted to many people. He got on 4s, in an uncomfortable way, considering he was still stuck to 3 and reached for the camera. 

“Ummm… Hello, SMG3 viewers” 4 started awkwardly “I’d like to say thank you for all of you being here. Especially thank you for motivating us to go forward. I think I know what we will have to do with this so-called rot… But I will end stream here, it’s been a good run, thank you all for coming” 4 smiled at the camera and waved before turning the broadcast off.

That was when 3 stirred.

“Nggghh…” 3 looked up, having to blink a few times to see what the fuck is going on, kind of not believing his eyes, as he could feel his ears and face heat up.

“OI WHAT THE FUCK DUDE” 3 flipped, literally flipped, thinking they could separate but instead they fell over together, now with 3 on top, and their faces getting a bit too close from the velocity. 3 got distracted for a second. 4 took a bit before he returned the favour, as 3’s careless outburst only served to make him angrier. And so they got into a cycle of throwing each other but the bond on them still not budging. 

“Why must you be such a bitch,,” 4 whined as 3 tried his best pulling 4 off of his waist, but he only bounced back, their foreheads meeting. which made both yelp in pain.

“FUCKING CHRIST” 3 cried out.

“DUMBASS” 4 cried back at him.

3 tried to calm himself down as he looked around, seeing his camera which was turned off.

“Did… the camera break?”

“No… I” 4 realised he might not live “turned off the stream” his words were small.

3 slowly turned to him, his face the reckoning, judgement upon him, all in a pair of eyes that belong to his meme guardian partner.

“You… did… what?” 3 leaned closer to him, it would’ve been an understatement to call his vibes menacing.

“I-I” 4 trembled under 3’s gaze.

“You don’t SIMPLY end my stream”

“I said goodbye!!”

“And?”

“I thanked them for being here!!”

“...”

4 looked scared as hell, his puppy eyes coming out, begging for forgiveness. Those eyes hit 3 square in the heart.

“Shit.. whatever I guess, I’ll let you be about it”

“Oh, thank you thank you” 4 hugged him, 3 could only roll his eyes.

3 tried to get up again, and maybe stand up right if everything goes well.  And as he did, it seemed to be really hard for their faces to not be close. It was starting to frustrate both of them. Slowly, they both stood on their feet, although still stuck to each other. That’s when 4 remembered.

“Hey, wait, we can channel the rot away! You can feel its meme energy too, right?”

3 looked up, then nodded. 4 grabbed both of 3’s hands. 3 was sort of distracted by the whole thing. He didn’t like being so close so soon. He wanted to have at least a little bit of time to process his feelings. 4 noticed that, as they weren’t as efficient as they were supposed to be.

“3!! What’s with you??”

That seemed to snap 3 out of it, who looked to the side, a powerless sigh escaping his lips.

“I can’t explain”

“WHAT do you mean you can’t explain?? Let’s just get out here!! Don’t you want to get out??”

“I-... of course I do, you think I’m stupid?”

“Well, you’re looking very stupid right now, not channeling yourself!”

“Don’t you… don’t you see…? We’re just… a bit too close for my taste” 3 looked down, feeling ashamed. He didn’t want it to be true but it was, tears welling up in his eyes.

“What do you-”

“IT- IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF YOU WEREN’T RIGHT IN MY FACE” 3 cried, tears rolling down his face “YOU think I WANT TO BE HERE?? I’D RATHER BE ETERNITIES AWAY FROM YOU RIGHT NOW” those tears just wouldn’t stop.

“THEN FUCKING CHANNEL, YOU BITCH, THEN YOU CAN GO”

“FUCK YOU”

“WHAT”

4 let go of 3’s hands, now pissed himself, both of them pissed in fact.

“BITCH” 3 added.

“WHY YOU-” 

And they started throwing hands, fighting again. Which fell to an abrupt end, as 4 held 3 against a wall of rot.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST CHANNEL”

“I FEEL STUPID WITH YOU”

“YOU’RE CALLING ME STUPID?” 4 leaned closer to 3, who seemed to feel more ashamed than ever, as if he said something sacred, as if he sinned.

“Ju… just sh-.. shut up already, fuck..” 3 could feel his heart twist. 3 looked at 4 slowly, cautiously sadness pouring out from his eyes. He couldn’t hide it. He felt ashamed but he knew no other way out.

“3… 3 I’m…” 4 returned to a softer gaze.

“Are you stupid? I said…” once again, 3’s heart, it couldn’t take it “I feel stupid WITH you”

“Wh… What?”

“You really are stupid…”

4 didn’t look amused.

“So you called me stupid anyways”

“YOU-” 3 clenched his fists, trying his best to hold back from screaming at 4 again “You just… don’t seem to understand. And… I don’t know if I’m… shameless enough to just tell you everything…”

4 could feel something in his heart now as well. He didn’t understand what was going on. 

“I’m… sorry”

“Oh? What did you say?”

“I said that I’m sorry…”

“Can you say it again?” 3 looked at him with a little evil grin, although still strained from the emotions he was feeling. It was obvious to 4. He gave him the stink  eye then moved one of his hands to pet 3’s head.

“Can a man not be sorry?” 4 joked, which kind of worked, although the head pat flustered 3 a bit.

“Shut the fuck up”

“Sheesh”

3 giggled, seemingly calming down a bit.

“Let’s just get this over with, 3? You did say you wanted to be gone from me” although 4 would usually hide his feelings better, he sounded more sad than he should have.

3 couldn’t help but smile.

“So you DO care, huh?”

“I- of course I do, you’re one of my bestest friends!! I wouldn’t wanna stay away from you”

“Right right…friends… “ 3 looked down, he couldn’t bring himself to be angry anymore. He was tired.

“Wait you- you don’t mean…” 4 stared at 3, who wouldn’t dare look back. Although, it was hard avoiding him when they’re stuck by the waist. 

Suddenly a lot of things started to make sense to 4. Memories flashing by him, as he looked at 3, looking back at everything. The things he would feel with him. More than just the meme energy they could channel together, there was way more there, more than he ever realised. They way he just… my god… The realisation hit him like a car crash. 

“I’m in love with you??” 4 spoke confused, 3 looked at him confused.

3 couldn’t bring himself to words, he could only look back at 4. 3 knew his heart was flying sky high though, with his face feeling god awfully warm too. After the confusion wore off, 4 smiled, kind of coming to peace with it. Skipping a few stages of grief there, huh?

“Let’s get out of here, 3” he grabbed his hands, once again, although softly. 

The 2 look at each other for quite a long moment, as they slowly channel the meme energy, yet they can’t help thinking: this is not enough. It’s kind of weird how they both leaned in at the same time, sharing a power shattering kiss that vaporized all the rot out of existence, even the thin layer that made them stuck. Although they were still stuck in the hole that the rot dug out. They looked up, finally seeing the outside world. It was a sight they didn’t think they’d miss so much. Ironically to what 3 was saying before, he didn’t seem to want to let go of 4. 4 didn’t mind that. 

“Hey” 3 spoke awkwardly “Just saying if you’d like to kiss me again, you’re totally allowed to” 

4 smiled brightly as he took on the request, melting into 3’s touch in the process. Nothing was perfect and wonderful sunshine forever rainbow though so…

“Guys, we’re- oooooooh” Meggy stopped as she noticed the 2.

“We’re here we’re- OOOOOOOOOH” Mario piped up even louder.

“What’s with the- WOAAAH” Boopkins seemed to be the most surprised. He didn’t even see it coming.

The 2 idiots finally noticed the outrage their homosexual activity made happen.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP” 3 yelled at them.

“Yeah you tell them!!” 4 cheered him on. 

The 3 other idiots, who patiently pulled them out of the hole could barely wait to ask about everything. What happened in there? Are they Homo Sex now? (A Mario original question) Most importantly: are they okay?

“None of you speak of what you saw” 3 pointed at Meggy, Mario and Boopkins. Boopkins and Meggy nodded, while Mario had different intentions. He was going into his usual devious Mario smile. 

“Mario” 3 looked at him with violent intent.

“Hee hee hee”

“Mario, he’s serious” 4 added, also ready to throw hands.

Mario took a few seconds then suddenly took off.

“MARIOOO”

“GET BACK HERE”

“MARIO MUST SHARE WORD OF THE GAY”

And so they couldn’t catch him, now everyone knew that his guardian partners were also romantic partners now. A beautiful ending <3.

---

Hope this was enjoyable! It is my first fic with this series so obviously it's not perfect. Fun fact! I wrote this in one night.

I may possibly have more ideas but nothing too concrete yet oopsie

[the1975attheirverybest]

omg i just read heat wave and think it’s amazing! would i be able to request a part two where she like takes him back to the bus and like puts him to bed and maybe takes care of the others too?

This request was too wholesome not to write. SO consider this a part two to this one.

Warnings: none!

———

Part Of The Band

She tiptoed delicately out of the tour bus, grabbing her shoes with her on the way out. She knew she was much too clumsy a person to risk putting them on and waking Matty up from his much-needed sleep.

She took one last worried glance back in his direction and blew him a kiss that he wasn’t awake to notice, whispering “I love you.” As she inched away. She say on the steps of the bus, kicking her shoes on.

She followed the directions her map app had provided to get back the restaurant where she and Matty had left the boys about an hour ago. George had spotted her coming in and waved her over.

“You’re back. Everything alright?” He sat up as she approached their table.

“Is it Matty? Is he okay?” Adam added.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Matty fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Everything’s fine. I just came back to check on you guys.”

“Us?” Ross’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah. Have you boys had anything to eat yet?”

“Nah, much too hot to stomach anything right now.” Adam groaned.

“But we did drink a lot of water.” Ross announced, taking yet another gulp from his bottle.

“Yeah, in fact, we were just saying that, when it’s time to piss, we should time each other. See whose body lets out the most water.” George laughed, a bit embarrassed that she didn’t find the idea as funny as he did.

“Alright, you guys are hopeless.” She wandered over tot the cash register and came back with menus. “Every one pick something. Even if it’s just a little snack. You need to eat.”

She placed their orders to-go, modifying their selections and adding a few juices and smoothies to take into the tour bus. Something to keep on hand, in their mini-fridge for the road-trip ahead.

“Let’s get back. Matty’ll probably wake up hungry soon.”

She rounded them up, feeling a little too much like a school teacher chaperoning a field trip. George helped carry the takeout bags, while Adam volunteered to hold the beverages.

“So, how’re you guys feeling?” She broke the tired silence as they strolled back to the bus. “I know I was acting a bit insane before. Was just worried about Matty, but- you guys went through the same thing. Everyone feeling alright?”

George smiled at her. “No worries. Matty did look like he was losing it a bit there. We were all worried.”

“But you guys stayed calm. I mean, maybe a little too calm. Made me think you didn’t think anything was wrong.”

Ross shook his head. “Of course we knew something was wrong. We all felt wrong. But…it’s just who we are.”

“Been doing this gig for over a decade.” Adam chined in.

“Yeah, you sort of, get used to a ‘just push through it’ kind of mentality.”

“Yeah, guess we didn’t realize we’re not as young anymore.” George laughed.

She was quiet for a moment, giving them the space to vent and doing her best to listen with compassion. Still a part of her felt that they weren’t being as serious with this as they should be.

“It’s not about how young or old your are. You’re in the best shape of your lives. All of you. But your schedule is objectively insane.”

They all laughed knowingly.

“Three countries in three days?”

“They’re all close to each other though-“ George attempted to interject but she simply rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re a dad, now. Adam. This is the kind of example that you want to set for your kid? What were you planning on telling Carly, hmm?”

Adam always found her a bit intimidating. He looked down at his feet, feeling slightly shamed.

“Leave the man alone, he’s already scared of you.” George came to his rescue.

“Look,” Ross spoke, shifting her attention towards him. “I think…when we made this schedule, we also wanted to keep in mind the canceled shows that didn’t get to take place in 2019 and 2020. And the fact that, for come countries, it’s been a decade since we’ve performed there. And we do love being’ onstage.”

Adam and George agreed incoherently, their voices blending together into some sort of affirmative statement.

***

“Which ones Matty’s sandwich?” George sat in Matty’s bunk, peeling the covers off his friend and putting the warm sandwich right in Matty’s sleeping arms.

The three of them giggled mischievously like school children. “Let’s see how long it takes him to smell it and wake up.”

They ended up placing bets on how long it would take. And it did take him surprisingly long. 7 minutes and 54 seconds to be exact. Adam won, having guessed the closest.

“Fasts cash I’ve ever made.” He grinned as he collected his winnings.

Matty struggled to fight his exhaustion as he munched on his sandwich sluggishly. He watched with pure awe and admiration and she made her rounds, checking in with the boys, refilling their drinks, making sure they were all hydrated, all the while returning their jokes and witty remarks. He’d never met anyone who has so seamlessly been made part of their friend group before. Their intensity and history always seemed threatening to any newcomers. Even when they didn’t intend it to be. The sheer amount of time they spend together, their lingo, inside jokes, and work style could all mean that even the most confident of people would occasionally feel like an outsider. Not her though. She respected that this was an inherent part of Matty’s life that she could never hope to replace, nor did she try to compete against it. She loved the boys almost as much as he did.

Hours later, Ross had knocked out in his bunk bed, with George going outside for a smoke, and a FaceTime with Charli. Adam hopped into the shower for a much needed deep cleanse. Marty found himself alone with her, at long last. They shared his tiny bunk bed, cuddling and watching a tv show on her phone.

“Baby?” Matty whispered, even in the tight quarters they’d snuggled into.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for loving my friends.”

She turned to look at him, their noses brushing together slightly. “What?”

“You’re, like, officially part of the band now. You’ve saved us. Don’t know what we would have done without you today. I mean, seriously, I had a like a real meltdown.”

She smiled, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand gently. “You guys would’ve been already, with or without me. You’ll always have each other, after all.”

“Mhm.” He simply nodded.

“I think today was the first time I really got that. Don’t know how safe I would feel knowing that you’re thousands of miles away sometimes, traveling the world, if it weren’t for the guys and knowing that they’re right there with you.”

“Oh, yes, absolutely. Don’t think I’d ever do it without them. Just don’t tell them I said that, okay? Hann would never let me hear the end of it.” Matty grabbed onto her tightly, pulling the cover above both of their heads and kissing her underneath it.

[thenightshadowqueen]

Hi...If you don't mind, can I ask, who are your top 7 (or top 5) favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon) and your top 10 favorite characters ever from any media? Why do you love them all? Thanks if you want to answer....

Hi! Thank you so much for the ask! I love making lists, so I’m going to have a great time with this.

(Also I’m not sure if characters from Shoot from the Hip videos (improvised comedy group, if you haven’t heard of them) fall under the categories you laid out for the ships, but I decided to include them; I hope that’s all right! If you want me to redo the list without them, let me know.)

Ships

7. Bubbamiah (Bubba x Jeremiah, Inside the Mysterious Cube (Shoot from the Hip), canon)

They have such a wholesome relationship. They’re gay farmers (funny that SFTH has done that twice) from the southern US, and they’re just so genuinely happy together. Also their story is so gorgeous? I love that they fight side by side—Bubba got cube legs just to follow Jeremiah onto the battlefield, and I assume that was something he hadn’t really wanted to do (because he’d have done it sooner if he wanted to). But he did it anyway so that Jeremiah wouldn’t be alone. And then Jeremiah dies (in what is genuinely one of the most beautiful death scenes I’ve ever witnessed), and Bubba’s response is to get revenge, because he knows that’s what Jeremiah would want. And then Jeremiah comes back, and I’m so glad he does, because they deserve to go back to living their comfortable, peaceful lives on the farm.

6. Ditch (Derek x Titch, the Unrelenting Aubergine (Shoot from the Hip), canon)

Oh, look, the other gay farmers from a SFTH play. Who would have guessed? Okay, but seriously, these two are so fucking adorable. Derek is so helplessly in love. Honestly, despite the clear sexual intent of the title, they are so wholesome. Also: Titch, my beloved. He’s so scared of his own feelings, and Derek is perfect for him, too, because he knows when to give Titch space and when to push him to make a decision. They just have such a beautiful story.

5. Hornchurch (Andrews x Betruvia, the Phantom of Hornchurch (Shoot from the Hip), headcanon)

Look. Look. They have everything I look for in a couple. They remind me so much of Evervale, so it’s honestly no surprise I gravitated toward them. The thing is, no matter how much I love more wholesome ships, tragic and toxic ships have always been and will always be my favourite. And they definitely fall insert both categories. They’ve spent millennia reincarnating just to fight each other, and that, if you ask me, is very gay.

4. Esmerelda x the vampire slayer (the thirsty vampires sketch (Shoot from the Hip), canon)

Honestly I’m not even sure I can talk about them because I just want to scream. They had so much fucking chemistry, for a start, and I loved their characters individually. But together? I just. I just. Also, the fucking ending… I loved it before. But the ending just solidified it. Because, as previously stated, I love tragic or toxic ships. And so here we are. (Also is there a ship name for them? Because I need one.)

3. Castlelair (Alastair Lowe x Gavin Grieve, All of Us Villains and All of Our Demise by Amanda Foody and C. L. Herman, canon)

Okay so. So. Um. I’m unsure of how to express my love for them, because holy shit. This is enemies to lovers done right. I remember reading the first book and thinking that they had chemistry, but I didn’t think anything would come of it, because Alastair was with Isobel. And then I read the second book, and I screamed. They’re so perfect? I have so many annotations just screaming incoherently about them (honestly calling them annotations is a bit of a stretch). I love how they’re opposites of each other from the beginning, and yet so fucking similar deep down. Also, I love how obsessed Gavin was with him from the beginning, especially when compared to the fact that Alastair literally never bothered to learn his name at the beginning. Also (and this is probably bad), I love it when my ships torture someone else together. I don’t know what it is, but something about it compels me like nothing else (again, in FICTION). So that is quite the bonus for them. I could genuinely write a whole wall of text about them (albeit not a very coherent one), but I’ll leave it for now.

2. Evervale (Eli Ever x Victor Vale, Vicious and Vengeful by V. E. Schwab, headcanon)

Evervale is kind of what I look for when I’m looking for ships. They have so much history, which is probably the thing I love the most in ships. I wrote two posts a bit ago about all of the things I love about them, so I think this bit will probably just be a shorter version of that, but here goes. They are the only people who have ever understood each other, and they are the only people who ever will. They mean so much to each other, even ten years after everything went down. And even though they hate each other, they still care so much about what the other one thinks. They’re so fundamentally similar but different in such key ways, and I love them so much, and I think I’m going to cut myself off here, because I already did two posts about this.

1. Merthur (Arthur Pendragon x Merlin, BBC Merlin, headcanon)

It was never going to be anyone else. They’re a classic, and there’s a reason for that. The tragedy of it is a big part of what draws me to it—Merlin is left wandering the world, alone, forever, without his other half. But there’s also—and I think I made a post about this, too—the element of unbalanced dedication. Merlin loves Arthur so deeply that he rewrites his entire moral code, crosses all of his lines (“Who says my destiny has to include murder?”), literally gives his entire life trying to keep Arthur safe. And Arthur has no idea. And that, more than anything else, is the thing that makes this ship for me. (I told you I liked the darker relationship dynamics.) Obviously, there are also a million other reasons why I ship them—the way they talk to each other, the fucking looks—but I think that the the reason I love them as much as I do comes down to the dedication and the tragedy.

Characters

10. June (Vengeful by V. E. Schwab)

I’m genuinely so intrigued by her. I don’t have that much to say about her, to be honest, because we don’t have a lot of information on her, but I just really like her. She’s so interesting, and I really want to learn more about her; I hope we get more of her backstory in Victorious.

9. Merlin (BBC Merlin)

Honestly, he goes through so much. He deserved so much better, but truthfully, his pain is part of why I love him so much. The thing is, I don’t often find myself liking main characters, because I fine “good people” to be irritating (in fiction, obviously). But Merlin intrigues me, because he starts with such a strong moral code, but he ends up sacrificing all of that for Arthur’s sake. And that? That kind of character progression fascinates me.

8. Juliet Caesar (Caesar and Juliet (Shoot from the Hip))

I love murderous women, okay? She’s insane, and I love her for it. Her line about women getting corrupted by power just like men was iconic. Also, I’m just so interested as to her character development. Because of the time-skip, we go from her being fourteen and a pretty innocent, sweet girl—albeit with a definite hint of desire for power—to her fifteen years later, as a full-grown woman, murdering people and running the entire country. And I just really want to see those fifteen years. (Obviously they didn’t have time in the play; this isn’t a criticism of that.) But yeah, she really interests me.

7. Arthur Pendragon (BBC Merlin)

The first time I saw Arthur Pendragon on a screen, I was twelve years old, and he was a dick. And the first words out of my mouth were, “He’s going to be my favourite.” And he hasn’t let me down. Arthur is a flawed character—which I actually really appreciate, especially since a lot of Arthurian stories portray him as the pinnacle of chivalry—but he has a good heart and a lot of trauma. And I think he’s such a fascinating character, especially looking at the way his dad fucked him up. He made a lot of mistakes through the course of show, but he’s always genuinely trying to do what’s best for his people.

6. The vampire slayer (the thirsty vampires sketch (Shoot from the Hip))

She deserves a name. (I’ve seen a few fanon ones floating around, but I wasn’t sure which one to use.) She’s amazing. She’s so clever, with the way she infiltrated Ybbob and Esmeralda’s home, and with her seduction of Esmeralda. Also, I’m very much here for her very open interest in both of the vampires. (You could argue that that was for show, but I like to think that that’s just what she told herself, and it was actually fuelled by genuine desire. But that’s just a headcanon.) (Also Sam played her really hot—)

5. Gwaine (BBC Merlin)

Okay so. First, to get the obvious out of the way: who the fuck let him look like that? He’s both pretty and hot, and that shouldn’t be allowed. For the record, that is not the only reason I like him. Honestly, the main reason I like him is because he’s a sassy little shit, and that’s my favourite character archetype. He has absolutely no regard for status, and he has chemistry with fucking everybody, and he’s honestly just a queer icon. (Out of the MANY queer-coded characters in BBC Merlin, he is one of the few I genuinely physically cannot picture being straight.)

4. Gavin Grieve (All of Us Villains and All of Our Demise by Amanda Foody and C. L. Herman)

Gavin. Gavin. I think the reason I adore him so much—or, at least, the biggest reason, because I have a lot—is because of just how far he’s willing to go. That’s what I look for in a character. He knows what he wants—to survive—and he will do anything to get it. He mutilates himself. He kidnaps someone. He tortured two separate men. He will do anything, and I admire that. He took his fucked-up family and childhood, and he decided that he was going to prove them all wrong. And he did, and I’m so proud of him.

3. Victor Vale (Vicious and Vengeful by V. E. Schwab)

There are very few characters I relate to as deeply as I relate to Victor Vale. (Which, knowing the things he’s done, is quite concerning, actually.) The way he talks about something being “missing” from himself, more after he became an EO but before that, too, but not feeling like that’s necessarily a bad thing, is both fascinating and deeply relatable. Also, there’s one scene that has stuck with me since I first read it: Victor in the hotel the night they rescue Sydney, feeling that bone-deep restlessness. That is the first and only time I’ve ever seen that feeling—which I also experience (it genuinely feels like torture)—adequately described. I love Victor for a lot of reasons; he’s pragmatic, and he’s quite ambivalent about morals, and he’s totally obsessed with and locked in on Eli. But every reason I give just comes back to how much I see myself in him.

2. Alastair Lowe (All of Us Villains and All of Our Demise by Amanda Foody and C. L. Herman)

Alastair Lowe is my baby. Honestly, his family fucked him up so badly, even worse than the other families—and that’s saying something. His obsession with being a villain is beautiful, and I really love seeing how his relationship to villainy and being a monster evolves through the books. He starts out so sure of himself, and then, after Hendry’s death, he’s so unsure, and then he decides that he wants to become a better person. And then, when Hendry comes back, he backslides so gorgeously. Honestly, he is one of the best characters I’ve ever read. He’s so angry, and he’s so sad, and he’s so hurt, and he doesn’t even know it.

1. Morgana Pendragon (BBC Merlin)

I said that I love insane women, and I meant it. I love insane women. Honestly, her character arc was so beautiful. (It could have been better executed, but overall, I still really liked it.) She was my favourite character from the first episode, and that has not changed since I was twelve years old. Good Morgana is my favourite. So is evil Morgana. (Also, this isn’t why I love her, but why the fuck is she allowed to be that gorgeous? It is deeply unfair to me as a queer person.) I genuinely don’t know what to say, because I don’t think I can offer any kind of intelligent insight into why I love her. I just love her.

[madrone33]

Ok, so heavy SPOILER WARNING for Pjo episode 6! And the rest of the show since I have read the book! Just, y’know, there’s your warning.

I’d also like to preface this by saying this post will be a rambling, not at all ordered, completely unscripted, kinda-rant kinda-essay of my thoughts on the episode, which means it is inherently biassed and completely composed of my thoughts, feelings, and opinions! None of this is fact, and I’m not trying to force my opinion on you. If you think differently or disagree, that’s completely fine! I would hate to live in a world full of clones of myself lol

With that out of the way, onto whatever this will turn out to be!

Ok, so I really liked the Hermes scene. That part was well written and acted. The family drama and guilt and blame is this show is really complex and everyone just needs multiple hugs tbh. Also, seeing a bit of Hermes’ powers was interesting.

I’m intrigued to know more about Percy’s flashback, while at the same time dreading it because I know it’ll be something heart wrenching and traumatic for poor Percy.

Hermes not agreeing to help them was a kinda foregone conclusion; it would be way too easy for them if he just let them into the Underworld, and we can’t make things easy for them now, can we :D

The Kronos stuff was cool to see, with Luke desperately covering his ass lmao, and Percy confiding in Annabeth. The slight change in Iris Messaging, with them not needing water and using a crystal instead was good. Both that it saved time and that it’s more believable. If your one communication tool is rainbows, of course you’d carry around a portable crystal to make ‘em.

It does make me wonder if they’re ever going to explain that technology - as in phones - makes it easier for monsters to find you. ‘Cause currently I… don’t think that’s been made clear to non-book audiences? Maybe I missed it in an earlier episode? Idk.

The scene where they released the trafficked animals was funny, and Grover completely overlooking if humans would get hurt and only thinking of the animals was a nice touch. I get why they didn’t show the animal abuse explicitly, even if I liked how in the books it was shown more clearly.

Them actually realising that the Lotus Hotel is connected to the Lotus Eaters from the Odyssey was good. I like how they’re identifying the threats faster in the show, whereas in the book they really fell for the monsters’ traps a lot. And the fact that they were on guard and were thinking that it was the food to watch out for added a different kind of danger than the books, where it was more just the readers sensing something wrong and hoping they’d not get trapped.

I like that the Lotus was actually being pumped into the air the whole time. And the fact that Percy and Annabeth being together helped them remember what they were actually there for vs Grover being alone and succumbing quicker was logical.

I didn’t like what they did with Grover so much. Him finding a fellow Satyr and trying to talk to him the way that he can’t to Percy and Annabeth was sad, but then, uh, idk he kinda just felt a bit useless? And the Satyr (who’s name I’ve completely forgotten oops) I think was supposed to be seen as funny? But he was… not. He wasn’t funny. And Grover was just very meh.

Like, this is one of those instances where I would’ve liked for them to change it from the books. In the books they all get split up become slowly addicted to the games in the Lotus Hotel and all that, and then Percy snaps out of it and he goes to wake up Annabeth and Grover, and they find Grover playing something like ‘Destroying Humanity’ and then drag him out of there. Which is basically what happens here, but it’s just-

They’ve changed so many other things for the better, turning moments from a randomness scene to a character beat. And I think they tried to do that by adding the Satyr and the ‘Finding Pan’ game, but it just. Didn’t work for me. He was just kinda there and did basically nothing and, like.

Ok ok so my main problem with this episode is the lack of tension.

First off, they were more meandering around looking for Hermes, it didn’t seem like they were that worried they might not find him. Like, they literally just wandered around and found him, without asking for any directions from strange people that might’ve given some insight into how sus this place is, or even having a quick montage cut of them jogging around peering into shady places. They just- walk around slowly and then there he is. Incredible.

Second, I know the Lotus is supposed to be like a drug, where you forget things and just focus on feeling good all the time, but I would’ve liked if Grover figured out that it was in the air, or that too much time has passed, and tries to fight it or smth?

Like, he starts to forget, and knows he’s forgetting something important, and tries to find- someone- the people he knows he came here with- not just so they can help him remember but to warn them that they were wrong, and it’s not just if you eat the food it’s everywhere and they need to go because the time- it’s all slipping away and he can’t let them be trapped here-

But something or someone stops him, hold him back, makes it so he can’t, and slowly he starts to forget why he’s fighting or what he’s fighting for and then he succumbs, and the switch you can see in him from scared-determined-panicked to dazed-confused-happy is terrifying.

And now we viewers are on the edges of our seats, because now we know that Percy and Annabeth are in so much more danger than we thought, and now there’s a time limit, and now Grover is trapped in his own mind slowly losing himself, and now we’re wondering when it’s going to start happening to Percy and Annabeth too, and now we really need them to realise and save Grover and get the fuck out of there before it’s too late-

But uh, yeah, we… didn’t get that. Instead it was almost- portrayed as comical? Like, there wasn’t a lot of weight put on it.

Old man Satyr keeps forgetting ha ha ha. Oh Grover’s forgetting too? Wow it’s gonna be super hard to get out of that one! Oh, no it’s super easy. Barely an inconvenience! Oh really? Yeah, Percy and Annabeth have barely started to forget anything important, and then they happen to look up and see the Satyr and get reminded of Grover. And then there’s a super short chase scene and then jump cut to them finding Grover playing video games and oh funny, he doesn’t remember them! But it’s fine, it actually doesn’t matter, they get him and go and he remembers on his own a few minutes later! 😀

Speaking of; I might have missed something but did Annabeth do anything at all during that chase scene? Like, I think she went another route to try and cut him off, but then she just kinda disappears, Percy tackles him, and she never shows up…? Idk, I’ll rewatch it sometime, but as of now it’s very strange in my mind.

The car scene was kinda funny, but again, not a lot of tension at all.

(Though as someone learning how to drive that scene made me cringe because of how relatable it was lmao. Honestly, Percy drove way too well for a first timer in a crowded parking lot, and the fact that he actually made that turn decently well? Yeah, someone give him a pat on the back lol.)

… Okay so I just thought of something that is unrealistic and wildly deviating from the books to the point that it’s basically just fanfic, but hey, they deviated anyway when they introduced Hermes this early and it’s my shitty tumblr post so - imagine if there was a car chase. There. I said it. If you’re going to make Percy drive a basically stolen taxi through Los Angeles, fucking commit and make him have to outrun the cops/some monster until they manage to activate whatever makes the car teleport!

Like, do an ‘IKEA after dark’ situation where things are all happy go lucky in the club at first, and then after they talk to Hermes and the Lotus starts effecting them, shit starts to get weird, and the patrons around them start becoming strange, and there’s a creeping sense of wrong wrong wrong as they rush to find Grover and then they find him but he’s wrong, and he looks at them like they’re strangers and they don’t know how to fix it, so all they can do is grab him and run, barely remembering where they’re going or why, but they’re holding themselves together, and when one starts to slip the others are there to haul them forward and remind them what they’re doing.

They have car keys in hand, and they might not know how to drive but fuck it they need to go, so bring on the dramatic dark lighting and wild driving and many bumpy, jerky, shit-we-almost-ran-over-something-important escapades, sirens closing in behind them and then he takes a wrong turn and stares wide eyed into the headlights of an incoming truck, flinches back, eyes slaming shut and-

Silence broken only by crashing waves. Insert Santa Monica scene after slightly hysterical laughter because holy fuck they survived.

… Um, yeah soz, idk where that came from lmao.

Moving on! So, I didn’t mind them getting Hermes’ car too much. Like, hell yes she pickpockets a god. But I didn’t like the way that Annabeth got the keys. Like, he’s the God of Thieves and she’s pretty smart. No way she wouldn’t realise that he let her take them.

A way to make it better would’ve been if he’d done some subtle shit, and she’d done some subtle shit, and then it was shown with some shots that here he puts his keys in this pocket, and then a few shots later maybe she brushes past him, or she “leaves” the room but you can fuzzily see pot plant leaves moving in the background if you know to look for it, and then boom, no more keys in his pocket, and when Percy catches up with her she reveals that Hermes let her take them, and we’re like “ahh, of course, can’t help directly but isn’t stopping them if they take initiative, cool cool.”

But nope. She got they keys, thinks she somehow stole them without his knowledge, and then it’s revealed that, duh, he knew, and they’re just like, welp, guess we should’ve known! Yeah. You should’ve. Annabeth is just- not? She’s just not? Like this? This isn’t how she would- do stuff. She’s smarter than that.

But see what I mean? No tension. Need to find Hermes, oh there he is. He won’t help them, but they got his keys. Lost Grover, but found him almost right away. Don’t know how to drive, but whatever lets go. Grover lost his memory, but nah he’s got it back just fine.

Yeahhh. Idk it just felt weirdly lacking.

What also felt weirdly lacking was the reveal that the Solstice has passed and the gods are going to war.

So, most of that underwater bit wasn’t how the books went, but I’m kinda withholding judgement on how I feel depending on how the next two episodes handle it.

The deadline being up and the gods already going to war? I don’t like it, but yeah, I can see how it might work with the themes laid out.

This isn’t just a war, it’s a family fighting, and instead of Percy just doing it because it’s The Quest, this - his father releasing him from the quest, and Ares telling him it doesn’t matter and they’d go to war regardless of it the Bolt is found, and everyone saying it’s not his place - it gives Percy agency because he’s choosing to forge ahead and save his mother, and find the bolt, and save this family he’s become a part of from itself. It’s his choice now. I can see why they made that change.

Though for some reason the pacing was weird, and the reveal that war was literally upon them was… eh? Like, “oh btw you’re too late and now we’re going to war.” “Huh, interesting, but I’m still going.” Like I said; lack of tension. There’s just no real urgency. It went really fast, or maybe too slow? Idk, there was just something missing.

The four pearls thing? I was very thrown by that, and I’m still pretty uncertain on if that’ll remove all the tension in the Underworld part. Because the whole conflict is if he’ll choose going after the Bolt and saving the Olympians? Or will he choose his mother and doom them to war?

If he has four pearls, then he can do both, which means zero stakes. But I’ve read some other people’s opinions, and I agree that one of those pearls is definitely getting lost/broken/used up before he can give it to her, which means this was done to raise hopes and then bring them crashing down, so I’m withholding judgement and hoping that it won’t be too contrived.

And I don’t like that Poseidon basically says he wants Percy to save Sally too, because a huge part of Percy’s dilemma was that the gods didn’t understand or agree with Percy wanting to save his mum.

Poseidon being on Percy’s side certainly serves the themes the episode set up, with Hermes wanting to be there for his family and failing, this time with Poseidon trying to be there for Percy and Sally, and hopefully succeeding. But it just feels like Percy isn’t as alone as he should be, which is good for him as a person, but bad from a writing standpoint because it makes it feel too easy.

In the books, it’s kinda an act of rebellion, that he would even think of choosing a mortal over the gods, but here he’s… not? Because the gods - or at least Hephestus, Hermes and Poseidon - are on his side. So he’s not choosing a mortal over the gods, he’s just saving his mum, and half the gods have given him the thumbs up to do it.

Not saying they weren’t secretly supporting him in the books too, but Percy didn’t think they were. He felt alone. He felt the pressure of the consequences that would come with whatever descision he made. In the show he’s not really going against the gods, because the gods are actively endorsing him. Which means, say it with me, no tension.

Anyway, like I said: withholding judgment. I'll see how the next ones go, and then come to a proper conclusion based on a complete picture.

Also, side note: When the nereid said, “What belongs to the sea can always return” all I was thinking was the musical and Poseidon’s goofy ass voice saying “It’s a SeAShElL” 😂

Oh and btw, the graphics/makeup/cgi of the nereid was well done to my untrained eye. I have no idea about how it’s done, or if it’s actually shitty in the professional sphere, but I thought it was pretty, so- thumbs up from me.

Though the whole scene at the beach and swimming to her was so dark I literally had to turn my tv’s brightness up to see what was happening, which I also had to do with the Theme Park last episode, and I almost did with the Minatour. Man, they really have a problem with lighting during the night scenes.

But just throughout the whole episode, there's just this feeling of non-urgency. Like, in the episode where time is the most important thing, it... doesn't really feel like it matters all that much.

Um, yeah. I think that was all I wanted to say…

In conclusion, I liked Hermes, aaand not much else. It was still a fun episode, but just all round pretty iffy plot wise. Rip.

I shall leave this with saying WE FINALLY GOT WISE GIRL!! 🥳

[ilovebeingaturtle]

Besides 87 raph what’s your opinion on the other iterations just curious

Assuming you mean the other iterations of Raph? So! Cracks knuckles here we go-

First of all I really enjoy 90s Raph, just the fact? His ass keeps getting into trouble? Like first movie he’s thrown through a window, second movie he gets kidnapped by the Foot, this boy is accident prone and I love it AHA also his accent is super fun. I wouldn’t rank him tooo highly on a list of favourites? 90s!Donnie is my favourite live action turtle overall, but he’s great! And if you add on 07 as the fourth movie for this version of turtles he’s awesome, I fucking love the concept of the nightwatcher!!! And his dynamic with Casey in that movie might be my favourite version of the duo, good Raph all around pats his head

Feel like I should also add on my thoughts about Next Mutation Raph here too while on the topic of like-the live action turtles, but I honestly don’t have much to say yet AHA, I’ve only seen like four episodes so far and I think Venus is the only character I really like from it (she’s so lovely,,,my sweet daughter,,) OH also! Adding on again with live action, I think the fact that Raph is one of the singers for the stageshow tours is fucking brilliant AHA, something about him being musical inclined just feels right for me (maybe because 87!Raphael loves singing all the time so seeing other iterations do it makes me happy? Who is to say) also the suit designs are just really cute I love their goofy accessories

03! 03! I LOVE 03! One of the lamest Raph’s but that just endears him even more to me, his lines are just so. Cheesy and uncool, and they’re delivered with the gruffest thickest accent ever, it’s perfect. He’s also just such a good brother, he can be so patient and supportive, 03 has such a well rounded team man. Like the bonds are so strongggg, you really feel such a connection between all the turtles. Like I adore his back and forth with Mikey, him and Donnie’s dynamic I feel like I don’t even need to talk about and him and Leo are so sweeeeet. Oh! Also! Love how Fast Forward made him the tallest, it’s perfect boy had a growth spurt. (Oh, also I hope this isn’t cheating by bringing up 87, but I love the dynamic Turtles Forever gave him with the 87 turtles. Could it have been written better? Yes. But is the concept of him slowly warming up to them and acting like their older brother adorable? Also yes.)

I think if I’m going in release order IDW is next? In which case, YEAHHH THIS GUY! The idea that he briefly was alone after being first mutated is so fascinating, I like how it puts a new lens on his loner habits, he’s also just super caring and ah! Good Raph! Him and Pepperoni are adorable and I like how he was the one to reach out to Mikey when like-that whole situation was happening. I have more thoughts but ajshajshsjshajhs ya know-

2012 Raph is like one of my favourites, I think just the fact he’s so sweet and gentle sometimes is just really endearing, he’s the Disney princess Raph! Look at those Rapunzel green eyes, I love it. He’s also just so fucking funny, his dialogue is dripping with sarcasm he’s got quips and it’s great. Plus his dynamic with Splinteeeeeerrr was so fucked gahhhhI just love this little guy man! He’s a good little guy! Like usual I struggle to put my thoughts about 2012 turtles into words I just want to shake them around like dog toys instead

Okay so I haven’t actually seen the first Bayverse movie yet, but I really like Raph in the second! He’s fun! I really enjoyed how him and Mikey are a duo almost, they’re both team purple ooze and that was super fun. I kinda really wish Bayverse had it’s own spin-off cartoon to expand more, I think Out of the Shadows had some strong concepts and it just tripped over itself a lot AHA, oh! Also since this is kinda short, on the topic of movies I enjoyed Batman VS TMNT Raph a lot too, that scene where he talks down Batman and talks about family? Like that sold him for me, both good movie boys

I think Rise making Raph the big brother is amazing, it’s so cool to see things shaken up and his portrayal in the show really does make sense. He’s still recognisable as Raph, but we get to see how a character we love can be shaped differently by new circumstances. All Raph’s have that natural protector role but now we see how him being the ‘Leo’ would impact that-also that aside he’s just a super sweet Raph! I love how he’s still playful while trying so hard to get his brothers to work as a team, I wish we had more episodes where he tries to get them to do stupid training exercises. There’s just something so earnest about this version, you gotta love him

Mutant Mayhem Raph surprised me! If I’m honest, while I don’t find anything wrong with more violent and angry leaning Raphs they’re definitely not the iterations I personally lean to the most? 87!Raphael is my favourite so that’s probably a given AHA, but like this boy completely knocked it out of the park. I love how smug he is, this boy is honestly just happy to be here and he got quite a few laughs out of me. He’s a very well balanced mix of what has come before honestly, I’m super excited to see him in depth in the future. AND HIS WHOLE DYNAMIC WITH HIS BROS IS JUST SO CUTEEEEEE OKAY IM DONE AUSHAJAH

[frozenjokes]

Signing Back In, Apparently - 8

Prev/Next

There were a couple things Scar noticed when he woke up face down on the floor. One, Mumbo was gone. Not a huge surprise. Two, everything hurt so much less! Hurray! Three; amendment to number two. His back actually hurt quite a lot, but this time, he was pretty sure that it was from sleeping funny. Exciting! Maybe he could actually get some drugs to take the edge off!

It wasn’t until he stood, gathering his things, that his mood dampened. Ah yes, today he would have to deal with the aftermath of yesterday. Well, he really didn’t have much to his name as of now, perhaps he could just pack the little he had and sail away, never to be seen again. Ah, a glory that would be. Unfortunately, nothing to his name also meant no food, water, and other necessary supplies. Plus, due to recent developments in his health , Scar wasn’t sure if he would make it alone on the sea. Too unpredictable. Although, perhaps ironically, he was feeling better today than he had in months.

Scar hadn’t had much time at all to explain to the Kestrels what was happening before his back and abdomen started spasming, quickly followed by immense discomfort in his eye and throat. Not that he intended to go into detail, but he couldn’t even stand, much less speak. He remembered saying something along the lines of ‘they’re fighting,’ which, in hindsight, was probably terrifying and cinematic.

But they knew. And now they would ask questions. Suddenly, taking his chances out in the ocean seemed like quite the appealing idea. He could put all his important stuff in a bag, maybe grab some canned food from the dining hall…

Scar opened his bedroom door, only to be nose to nose with Sausage. He screamed, falling backwards and dropping literally all of his belongings, which Sausage seemed to interpret as an invitation to come inside. The longer Scar spent here, the more threatening he found Sausage’s smile. Was that how other people felt about him? Oh, he hoped so.

“Scar! Good morning, or, rather, good afternoon! You slept in quite late today!”

“Yup! You know me..”

“Aha, yes. How about we sit, hm?”

Well, there was no escaping this afterall. Scar could fight, but he wasn’t sure he trusted his body right now, and getting supplies would be a far more difficult task. So he sat.

“Scar, I need to have an honest conversation with you, because right now, with the way you’ve been acting, the rest of us have been losing our patience. You’re a different man than you were six months ago when you joined us, and I don’t mean in a good way. You’re deteriorating. Everyone can see it, even in the other factions. Now, I can’t imagine what it’s like to live in your situation, with pain you can’t manage, and how frustrating that is, but,” Sausage sighed, sitting down beside Scar, “This has turned into something you can’t deal with alone anymore. It’s going to kill you, Scar, and by the time you’re dead, no one will care to mourn you, because you’re a fucking asshole.”

Scar wasn’t sure how to react to that. Sausage wasn’t wrong. He had been losing his grip. Quips and jokes that once came easily only soured on his tongue now. While he had never sailed quite as much as the other Kestrels, as months passed, he could leave his room less and less. This past month.. well.. when he did leave, it was safe to say he was snappy at best. He narrowed his eyes at the ground. It bothered him . He was falling apart, and everyone knew , and he didn’t have the ability to hide it anymore.

“It’s their fault,” he growled, voice low, “They came back. They were supposed to be dead.”

“No Scar, it’s your fault,” Sausage sighed, leaning back on his hands, “You never told anyone, in fact, you only got aggressive whenever the subject was brought up. You sat in your room by yourself, letting it get worse.”

“Well there’s nothing you can do.”

“You don’t know that. Listen, I don’t care what happened to you in your past; that’s your own business, but you can’t just deflect and attack everyone who offers their hand. It’s okay to be weak.”

“It’s not okay.”

Sausage paused, shooting Scar a calculating glare. Scar returned it. “Alright, Scar. Well let me skip to the point then. This is your last chance, or I’m going to ask you to leave the Kestrels. I’m extending an olive branch because I don’t want to see you die this way, so it’s your choice what you do with it. Tell me about your ghosts. They’re related to your pain, right?”

Scar closed his eyes. A choice indeed. “Do you really think you can get rid of them?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll try. We’ll all try, if you shape up.”

Scar shook his head, releasing a small, breathy laugh. “Well, why not then. Yes, they’re related to my pain. I’ve got four parts of my body that you could say are cursed, and the pain fluctuates with the corresponding ghosts’ mood. The longer I’m alive I think, the angrier they get. It must be something like that, because it’s been getting progressively worse. All you need to know is that they’d really like me to keel over.”

“Do you treat them well?”

Scar choked on his own laughter, falling back into his bed and shaking the entire frame, “Uh, no offense, but that is the dumbest question anyone has ever asked me.”

“I’m gonna take that as a no, then.”

“Well there’s a reason I got my eardrums blown out. Little bastard was trying to wreck my stuff. For the record, I did not know he could do that. Unfortunate, because he makes the best faces when you make fun of him. You know when-”

“Scar , you taunt your ghosts? When you know their moods directly correlate to your pain? What are you thinking?”

“In my defense, I don’t do that very much,” Scar shrugged.

Sausage put his head in his hands. “ Noted. Well to start, you need to be nicer to them. Even if they’re trying to kill you. You probably deserve it, anyway. But I’m also going to have you speak with Cleo.”

“Cleo? They’re a Heron, right?”

“Yes. Scott tells me they’ve got quite the affinity for ghosts. Apparently there’s this haunted island she visits often? If anyone can help you out, it’s probably her. Actually, if you want, I can ask Scott to go and grab her now.”

“Scott- is he here?” Scar bristled, turning wide eyes to his doorway.

“Hi, Scar!” Scott waved, looking mildly pleased with himself.

Scar stared, taking a deep breath before laying back down across his bed. “I guess this might as well happen.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sausage leapt to his feet, trotting to the door, “She’ll meet you in the tavern, so be ready!

“Yeah, great, I’ll be waiting then,” Scar mumbled, reaching for a pillow to crush over his face. Well. If he wanted to scrape together any amount of dignity, it was time to get it together. He washed up, ran a brush through his hair, and stared at himself for an inexplicably long time in the mirror. Surely there was something he could do about the bags under his eyes. Well, his good eye; the bad one was too far gone to be saved. Hm… but on second thought, it didn’t look as egregious as usual today… Unfortunately, before he could go and dig around for concealer in Oli’s room, he heard his name being called. Ah! But he hadn’t shaved!

Scar ran for his hats, stacking them with great care before balancing them precariously on his head and skipping downstairs.

“Well hello there! Sorry about that, I just got a little distracted, you know,” Scar waved his hand in a vague gesture, heading over to the bar where Cleo was already serving themself a drink. She turned, looking Scar up and down with a small smile.

“You look like shit.”

“You’re not so bad yourself!”

Cleo chuckled, leaning back against the bar. “It’s been a long time, I heard you’ve been sick. So it’s really ghosts that have been giving you trouble? I would have visited earlier, but I heard you were touchy, and I don’t have much patience for bullshit. Finally caved, huh?”

“I guess you could say that. And I damn well paid for it too, so no need to pry.”

“Looks like you’ve been paying for it for a long time, and not because you finally said something. You’ve had that black eye since I met you! I must say, it looks worse than I remember.”

“No need to flatter me. Can you get rid of my ghosts?”

“Oh, probably not, but I heard from Sausage that you’re hurting because they’re unhappy, and I know a place that’ll brighten them right up!”

Scar paused, staring blankly. Cleo stared back with an unassuming smile.

“You want to take my ghosts on a VACATION?”

[a-crumb-of-whump]

A New Beginning #14: Adoration

Masterlist | AO3

Content: Vamprie whumpee, recovery, multiple caretakers, human caretaker, PTSD/trauma, meltdown/panic attack, [implied] self harm (for the sake of food), blood (once again, for the sake of food), fear of being alone.

I am exhausted and haven't actually proof read this or anything, but i promised myself i'd post something before i fell asleep LOL.

-

It was only a few days after the gathering they’d had that Carlos heard from his new friend again. He hadn’t really thought much of it at first - Ryker was often getting calls from his employees and other important people that Carlos had never met, so it came as a surprise when the human called him into the living room and held out the phone to him with a polite smile. 

“Hey, man,” he greeted, already beginning to get out of his seat to make room for the vampire to sit down instead. “Charlie’s on the phone. Said he wanted to see how you were going. Would you like to sit down and talk to him while I get your breakfast ready?” 

Did he? What kind of question was that? 

“Yes please!” he chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he took the phone from his human’s hand and sat down on the couch Ryker had just been sitting in. It was still warm, and he found himself snuggling further into the seat as he greeted the other human on the phone. “Good morning!” 

“Good morning to you, too,” Charlie spoke warmly. He still sounded a little groggy, like he hadn’t been awake for long, but Carlos could still hear the faint smile on his face regardless. “You’re sounding rather chipper. How’ve you been?” 

The vampire brought his knees to his chest and began to fiddle with the fabric of his pyjama bottoms as he talked. “I have been well, I think! I’m a little restless today, but Ryker said I just need some mental stimulation. So, he’s gonna set up some stuff for us to do later on.” Then he jumped all of a sudden, feeling as if he’d already forgotten his own manners. “Uhm- and how are you, Charlie?” 

“I’m okay, thank you for asking.” The tone in Charlie’s voice hadn’t shifted, instead remaining light and friendly, despite the fact that he clearly wasn’t all that awake just yet. “I have work today, unfortunately, hence why I’m awake so early. Though, I was actually thinking about dropping by for an hour afterwards, if that’s okay with you?”

Carlos found himself mildly confused. Why was he asking for permission from him to come and see Ryker and Adam? Were they even going to be around today? He thought he recalled the two of them informing him that they wouldn’t be around all that much this week. Had they not told Charlie?

“Uhm…” The vampire didn’t even really know how to answer. “Y-yes?”

Thankfully for him, Charlie seemed to catch on to his confusion pretty quickly. “You sound a little unsure? What’s on your mind?”

“...I guess I don’t really understand why you’re asking for my permission to come visit Adam and Ryker?”

He blinked cluelessly at the sound of Charlie’s light laugh. He didn’t think he’d said anything funny. Did Charlie not realise he was being serious? Though his cheeks flushed red at the embarrassment of being laughed at, he chose not to say anything else.

“You sweet thing. I meant I wanted to come see you. They’re both out this afternoon anyway, aren’t they? I think Ryker said their work schedules are pretty similar this week.”

Oh. It made sense now. However… it also didn’t. 

“You- you want to see me?” the vampire tilted his head. His fingers clutched the phone a little tighter as his heartbeat picked up a bit. This was so exciting. “Really? I- I’m not very good at talking to other people. People, uhm… they scare me.” 

“They scare me, too, buddy. You’re all good. Look, we can give it a miss today if you want? I’m happy to wait until a time where you’re feeling more comfy or one of the guys is around. I totally get it.” 

Carlos could have sworn he felt his heart stop for a moment. 

“No!” he practically cried, leaning forward in his seat as if it could possibly make his point any clearer. He had a death grip on the phone pressed to his ear while his other shaking hand dug Its nails into the leather that made up the couch. “N-no, please, I’ve only ever had two friends in my life. I love them so- so much b-but I don’t wanna be alone anymore. I want friends s-so much. Please come over? Please? I can make some human food for you if you’d like! I swear, I’ll do whatever you want!”

He knew he was being downright pathetic. He knew there was a good chance he was actively scaring his potential new friend away with his intensity, and yet he would have thrown himself onto his knees and begged like that if he were in front of him in that moment. 

Having heard his frantic voice, Ryker was by his side in an instant; resting a hand on his knee while the other arm held a paper towel to the cut on his arm. He’d clearly been in the middle of draining Carlos’ morning breakfast into a cup, and that only made Carlos feel all the worse. 

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Those same two questions repeated in his head over and over again.

“Carlos, you’re all good, man. It was just a suggestion,” Charlie was quick to reassure him. Nonetheless, Carlos could still feel the weight of his own panic creeping up on him, threatening to slowly push him into suffocation as if something was holding him against the wall by his throat. “It’s okay. I’ll come visit you this afternoon, then, yeah? Just like I suggested before. No one’s leaving y’alone.”

“I’m so-orry,” the vampire quietly hiccupped into his sleeve. “I’m sorry… I’m…” Behaving like a fucking toddler? Yeah, you are. 

He silently scowled at the voice in his head. It was so loud and so mean. Why couldn’t it just be nice to him? Why did it have to point out all his flaws and mock him as if he didn’t already know they were there? He was trying so hard to like himself just that little bit more. It was so hard…

Ryker squeezed his leg, seemingly trying to draw his attention away from whatever was bothering him. The vampire immediately glanced down at him distractedly, still holding onto the phone so tight his hands were shaking. 

“Sir?” he quietly whimpered. “I’m… I need… need…” He didn’t know what he needed. Didn’t know how to put how he was feeling into words because he’d never had to think about it before. Feelings didn’t matter. Hell, he hardly mattered. 

He guessed it was different now, wasn’t it? 

“I- I di’nt mean t’pressure you,” the vampire whispered in between more hiccups. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I told you I can’t speak to people…”

He was so grateful that Charlie had stayed on the line with him all throughout his little meltdown. Hearing his voice, knowing that he was still there only caused him to cry even more. 

“No, no, you’re doing good, man. I’ve been there before, yeah? I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve struggled to find the right words or lost friends because I’ve said insensitive things without realising. Though, I’ve learnt that the more you do it, the easier it gets. So, what if we practiced together this afternoon?” 

“You- you still wanna come over?” The vampire nearly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He glanced down at Ryker who was still kneeling by his legs, and the human gave him a comforting smile that silently assured him it was real. “You’ll be my friend?” 

There was another laugh. “Any friend of Adam and Ryker’s is a friend of mine. Look, I gotta finish my coffee and get ready for work but I’ll message Ryker with a time and you can expect to see me then, alright?” 

Carlos sheepishly wiped at his wet eyes, accidentally pricking his bottom lip with his fang as he bit it. “You mean it? You’ll really come?”

“Yeah, man. I promise. See you then?”

“O-okay.” Carlos nodded, somewhat more confidently this time. “Yeah. I will- uhm, see you then?” 

Ryker grinned the moment Carlos had hung up the phone. He took the phone from him and placed it down on the floor before taking his hand into both his own to squeeze it reassuringly. 

“You did it!” he exclaimed, the loud sound of his excited voice causing Carlos to jump a little. “I’m so proud of you for persisting!” 

“Tha-ank you?” He couldn’t tell if the human was being sarcastic or not. “I… I embarrassed myself, didn’t I, sir? I didn’t mean to…” 

Reaching up, Ryker affectionately ruffled the vampire’s growing hair with a smile. “Not at all. You’re doing well. I know Charlie very well - he’s one of my oldest friends, and there’s no one I’d trust more with someone I love than him.” 

That caused Carlos to look up from his lap. The wording was not lost on him, however clueless he usually found himself being. A small smile curved on his lips despite the wetness in his eyes, and he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ryker’s for just a moment; savouring the closeness between them before Ryker had to leave again. It was the only way he knew how to express his gratitude for him in that moment. Words were hard and he just did not have the strength to speak them anymore. 

He could only hope that Ryker understood the meaning behind his simple gesture. Otherwise, he’d be sure to find the words for it later. 

He needed Ryker to know how much he loved him, too. 

-

Carlos spent the entire day watching the clock on the wall and cleaning vigorously before his friend arrived. He’d made what Ryker had said earlier in the morning were his favourite sweets - cookies, cupcakes and a few store bought foods as well. Adam was even kind enough to do his makeup again and help him pick out an outfit for what must have been his very first visit from a friend ever. His friend, no less. Someone who was here for him, not his owners or the people around him. He wanted everything to be perfect. Wanted to prove that he could be a good friend to people, not just some dumb pet for them to take their anger out on.

He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

When Charlie finally arrived at the designated time - right on time, might Carlos add - he had to let himself in, given the sun was looming right outside, threatening to attack the vampire if he so much as stepped an inch into the light. 

However, the second he had closed the front door, Carlos was already by Its side with his plate of cupcakes in his hand and a warm, excited smile on his face. “Thank you so much for coming,” he chirped as he held out said plate towards the human. “I made- uhm, your favourite cupcakes! Ryker gave me the recipe and helped me find all the ingredients for it. I hope you like them!” 

“He did, did he?” the human grinned as it slipped off Its shoes and placed Its bag down by the shoe rack. It leaned over to examine them before carefully taking one off the plate to bite into. “Boy knows me so well. These are excellent, Carlos.”

Carlos couldn’t help but feel amused at the way he spoke with his mouth stuffed with food. It reminded him so much of Adam. 

“Thank you! I worked very hard on them. Uhm, would you like to sit?” he asked, motioning to the living room where all the furniture was. “It’s just you and me this time, so… so you don’t have to sit on the floor. If- if you don’t want to, of course. Sir- I mean, Ryker said you might prefer the floor over the couch? I do sometimes, too.” 

The human shrugged. “The floor feels less formal, but I’m happy wherever. You’re looking wonderful today, might I add. Did Adam do your makeup for you?” 

“He did!” Carlos nodded, desperately trying to ignore the furious blush on his face as he plonked himself down on the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest for Charlie to sit down as well. As he did so, the human took another cupcake off the plate and began to eat that one, too. He likes them, Carlos realised with a giddy smile. “He purchased a practice makeup kit for me to use when he’s not around, but I’m not very good at it yet. I aim to get better, though.” 

“It’s a fun thing to learn. Can’t say I’m all that into it myself, but I see what It’s done for Adam. He loves it.”

It got Carlos wondering. “Well, what sort of things are you into, then? You said we could, uhm… pr-practice talking? So… is that a good start? You didn’t tell me all that much about yourself at the gathering…”

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t, did I?” Charlie offered him another smile as he shifted himself into the same position Carlos was in, but on the opposite side of the couch so they were facing each other. “Like I said, I suck at talking to people, too. I’m awkward and blunt and suck at reading body language and social cues. A lot of people don’t really like that. So… I tend to keep my distance. Keeps me safer, y’know?” 

Yes. Carlos knew exactly what it was talking about. 

“So… It’s not a vampire thing?” he asked quietly with a small tilt to his head. “That happens to me a lot, but I always thought I was just not smart enough to understand them, or- or that’s just how they treated vampires. Humans treat other humans that way as well?” 

He was saddened to see the human nod. “Unfortunately so.”

“That’s so sad.” 

Charlie shrugged. “I guess so. I have my little group of people who love and understand me regardless, so I don’t concern myself all that much with what the rest of the world thinks of me.” 

Carlos admired that. He cared far too much about what everyone else, particularly humans, thought of him. It was ingrained into his brain that his purpose was to please them, therefore he had to care, right? If there was one thing all the humans he’d lived with agreed on, it was that. 

“—but hey, fuck the rest of the world, right? Let’s talk about me.”

It surprised the vampire to hear himself laugh at the human’s rather vulgar language. 

“Yes!” he agreed, and the both of them eagerly leaned forward with their arms still tucked in their laps as if they were two gossiping school children. “Tell me everything there is to know.”

-

It turns out, the two had a lot more in common with each other than they thought. Charlie happened to be right into his digital art - something Carlos had no idea even existed until then - along with cooking and movies. He also mentioned that he loved the dark - that there was something calming and peaceful about it in a way that the day just couldn’t bring. He said that he often went on night walks along the beach when he couldn’t sleep, or relaxed under the stars in his backyard with a picnic blanket beneath him. 

It all sounded infatuatingly wonderful to Carlos. He didn’t feel safe enough to go outside anymore. Not without another person there to keep him company, but the idea of it made him more than a little giddy. He hoped there would come a time where he could enjoy the stars and the dark again, just like he had as a child. 

The human also came to mention that he was a collector of sorts, too. He had a collection of rocks and leaves he found fascinating sitting on his coffee table for people to admire when they came over, along with the more “common” stuff, like Pokemon cards and little figurines. He’d apparently been collecting for years - ever since he was a child, and had plenty to show for it. 

Within just a few hours, Carlos had grown to adore this human so much it hurt. It was living, breathing proof that there were other people just like Carlos. That he wasn’t alone, even if many people had tried to convince him otherwise. 

—and as the human prepared to leave again rather late in the afternoon, Carlos hugged him tighter than he ever thought he’d be able to grip someone, fingers digging into his back and his head buried against Charlie’s shoulder. He was grateful that it didn’t seem to mind, and instead held him just as tight. 

“Please come back sometime,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut out of sheer desperation. “Please. You’re… you’re like me. I like you so much!” 

There was, once again, a laugh as Charlie stood with him in the doorway. He could hear and feel Adam and Ryker’s presence behind him, presumably moving things around and giving the place a quick clean after their day at work, but he didn’t care. Not right now.

 “I like you so much, too! I’ll be back very soon, man. Promise.”

Carlos couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he hid it against the human's shoulder even more.

It was official. 

After ninety years of living on this god forsaken earth, Carlos Emrick had finally made a friend outside of Ryker and Adam.

He cried out of pure joy as he told his humans about his day that evening. It was easily on his list of best days ever, right underneath the day he met Ryker and the night he finally got to move in with him.

-

@alexkolax @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @stabby-nunchucks @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpsday @whumpshaped @whump-things @whumpycries @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thekittyburger @choppedflowermuffinchild

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

After death | Lost Gods

He looks at the skyline ahead of him, its famous shapes that tourists gape at like they’re observing a gorilla in an enclosure. It’s all grey to him, not just because of the looming storm but because the grids of buildings and lights have become boring in a way that seems fatal—this city is a dead thing on earth, he doesn’t care what anyone says. It’s all post-mortem—the blinking traffic lights, shafts of sunlight interrupted by high-rises, yellow taxis honking, honking, honking, like they’re shouting a prayer. He feels sort of like that too, caught in kitschy after death.

A little Harrison art <3 !! And an excerpt from the opening of Lost Gods!

4 years ago today I finished writing his very first solo novel, Moth Work, & I’m kind of in awe of how far we’ve come in that short time… 4 novels & 2 novellas narrated by this man who’s a little embarrassing and a whole lot profound (but you didn’t hear that from me!). A few more thoughts under the cut, but here’s a little note I made myself in 2020, the only note I’ve ever made after finishing a book (possibly because finishing this one changed my life a little).

TW for mentions of: mental illness, trauma in the mental health system, internalized homophobia

Technically I finished Moth Work at 2:34AM because I lived on the west coast at the time lol.

I don’t usually celebrate or remember the anniversaries of finishing books. But I wanted to celebrate this one because a) it’s Leap Day & I haven’t been able to commemorate what I was doing during the last one for 4 years, & b) because finishing MW was such a significant accomplishment!

I started MW in January of 2019 because I was struggling emotionally. At the time, I was racing to figure out “what was wrong with me” before flying across the country for uni in the summer (SPOILER I WAS JUST AUTISTIC LMAO), which led to a lot of stressful and traumatizing appointments with doctors. I desperately needed a book to cheer me up but a different one from my WIP at the time, especially because in 2018, I’d both discovered my voice and become really afraid of messing it up!

I also was taking a religion class at the time that was emotionally difficult for me because I felt reallyyyy alone and especially isolated in my queerness that I’d been hiding for a couple years at that point (& that I literally would not talk about at all, not even to people I trusted). When it became very clear I needed an outlet to explore my feelings (of being “unhelpable,” internalized homophobia, a general sense of aloneness/isolation) the decision of what I was going to write became pretty clear.

I’d written 3 stories in Harrison’s POV that predated MW starting in late 2018 (they were also my first explorations in third person present tense, which fun fact, I only tried in his POV because I’ve always written my notes ideas in that POV/tense combo, even when I only wrote first person!). I hadn’t written in a different POV character’s head beside’s Reeve’s since 2016, so it felt natural that the second character I felt closest to (Harrison!!!) could be a narrator. Funnily at this time Lonan was my favourite so I’m actually surprised I did not choose him but can we imagine how different things would be if I had???

I started Moth Work in my notes app (ICONIC) on January 16th 2019 at 11:37pm! The first chapter came pretty quickly, is actually quite non-linear for a bit, and was overall a lot of fun to write. I’d planned for the project to maybe be a short story or at the most a novella (does this sound familiar), nothing very long and definitely not a novel. I believe the goal word count was 5k which is so funny bc that’s exactly how Changing States & Lost Gods started!!!

And then the project stagnated, it wasn’t something I’d planned to write seriously, and I didn’t pick it back up until August of that year when my therapist at the time suggested I try to complete a “reach goal” as I was reaching Crisis and I guess I was so done with everything going on in my life that I was like okay fine!!!! I will write Moth Work as a novel!!!!

This book literally flew with me across the country… I wrote a lot of it late at night in my dorm with all the lights off after a long day on campus. I wrote a lot of it in my intro to sociology lecture LMAO. I wrote a lot of it on my phone. It was the first project (no literally) where I intentionally explored queerness, especially my own feelings as a (sort of?) catholic at the time. I explored atheism a lot! Something I needed to process my own feelings about faith & God. I explored what it’s like to be this completely unhelpable person because you’ve decided there’s no possible way to help yourself anymore (hiiii Lonan). I also explored (a bit like a premonition), what it’s like to care deeply for someone you can’t help (but that you very badly want to help).

And I almost didn’t finish the book! The imposter syndrome and insecurity went crazyyy when writing Moth Work. I didn’t feel like I was writing the First Person Retrospective Flowery Literary Fiction I’d deemed as the only possible “good writing.” (Still LOVE but I really was struggling seeing a very minor style shift, which is funnily much closer to my writing now than when I was writing the “best” way.) I deleted so much from this book. I couldn’t look at it. I was so embarrassed by it!! I made ultimatums with it!! I edited it so much but still couldn’t stand it! It was literally the safest space I had and I could barely be there a lot of the time!!!

SOOOO this is why I’m very proud of me for finishing it lol & while I would typically have celebrated the anniversary idk, in 2021, bc it didn’t exist until this year it felt apt to sit with those feelings now. I’m really proud of 17-year-old Rachel who was undiagnosed autistic & convinced I was a lost cause, who was sooo afraid of being queer I could only think of that through Lonan (& sometimes still do thx king 🫡) who literallyyyyy wrote a masterpiece in my collection that contains some of my best work (even if I only realized that 4 years later) & that’s been the start of EVERYTHING!

This is so much more than a book or an anniversary!! Somehow I made it through all the things I didn’t think were possible and now have written 2 books & 3 (writing the fourth) novellas allllll in this world. AND 2 additional novels in his POV!! Also thank you baby Rachel for Jeremiah. Like hello!!!! This is the only place I felt safe to be myself when I couldn’t be with anyone else! And there’s something priceless about that…

And it’s all bc of Harrison!!! Whoever I saw in that man in 2019… girl thank you!! Can’t explain what it’s like to grow with that character (who is sooo much more than that to me). Never would I have predicted where I am now. And IMO, that’s all thanks to him so ily fictional man in my head, this is soooo his day LOL.

& if you were here since the first MW update & made it this far… I MUST KNOW!!!!

[ncisfranchise-source]

NCIS: Origins Season 1, Episode 4 ‘All’s Not Lost’ is again, a pretty solid episode that gives a little more nuance to Gibbs’ grief, and at the same time, starts to peel back to layers of his relationships with the people on the team. Because yes, Franks and Lala are worried about him as the team faces a case involving a missing girl, but unlike Gibbs’ first instinct, that’s not a bad thing. It means he’s not alone anymore – despite his loss, and that he’s got people that care what happens to him.

The episode also gives us a glimpse at the devastating moment when Gibbs found out what happened to Sharon and Kelly, a moment I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and that the show plays with as much truth as the circumstances allow. I’ve been there, in the moment after learning you’ve lost a loved one. The immediate feeling isn’t even of loss, it’s of hopelessness. What are you even doing here without them? That Gibbs experienced that doesn’t make him a less relatable character, if anything, it makes him someone we can understand all the better.

SOMETHING TO COME HOME TO

The most shocking part of NCIS: Origins Season 1, Episode 4 ‘All’s Not Lost’ isn’t the reminder that Gibbs lost Sharon and Kelly, or the way the show takes us to the moment he found out, no, it was the fact that the show could make it seem both so gut-wrenching, and in a way, so real. The circumstances for Gibbs being what they are, can anyone blame him for just getting up as his team is getting ambushed, hoping he would get killed? Particularly when, at that moment, there likely wasn’t even a conscious thought behind it.

Because that’s the thing, and a little therapy would do Gibbs wonders – not that he’s going to listen, but the reality is that he didn’t actually try to kill himself in that moment, he just didn’t care if he died, and he didn’t care if he died in a particular moment where the disassociation was so big that he likely wasn’t even processing what was happening. If you just learned you lost your entire family, would you not just …go away, somewhere? In your head? Even for a little bit?

How he got from that ambush, from that moment to home, to more or less coping, to trying to move on, we don’t know. That’s the hardest part. The not dying, even if a part of you didn’t actually want to. Because there’s no denying that a part of you wouldn’t have minded if you did. That, at least, would have stopped the pain Gibbs has to live with every day.

IT WAS ONLY ME

The funny thing about NCIS: Origins Season 1, Episode 4 ‘All’s Not Lost’, if we can call it that, is that it frames Gibbs as someone not necessarily lonely – not in a way he can see, at least, but alone. And yet it’s not just about Gibbs, this show has proven it never is. It’s about Lala too, who seems to be in the same boat even though we know she has people in her personal life. Because the way she recognizes how Gibbs is doing feels very family – even if it’s not the same kind of loss she has experienced. Sometimes, when you see people breaking or about to break, they can be a reflection or a part of yourself that has been there before, and that’s where the sympathy comes from.

It’s more or less the same for Mary Jo, or it feels like it. Sure, everyone is acutely aware of how this case hits close to home for Gibbs because they’re people with empathy, but for a moment when Gibbs comes to check on the kid at the end, Mary Jo cracks. We don’t know enough about her yet, in fact, of the characters we have consistently spent time with she might be the one we know the least, but this episode clearly showcases that there’s deep pain behind the façade she puts on to be able to do the work every day.

And that, well …that means Gibbs isn’t really alone. Not just because he’s got people, but because the people around him can, in at least their own way, understand what he’s going through. Right now, he’s not at the point where that matters because he’s not ready to process it, but at some point, it will.

IT WAS ONLY ME… UNTIL IT WASN’T

The show isn’t even subtle with the way it frames the found family vibes and the way this team, these people, are going to be integral in shaping the Gibbs we will one day meet, the one who will also create a family out of the people around him. That has always been the mark of a good procedural, bringing a group of people together that seem like they don’t really fit together and finding a way to make them not just fit, but better each other.

For Gibbs, this is especially important because sometimes finding a reason to get up in the morning, to put one foot in front of the other, after you’ve lost everything you’ve built your life around, feels pretty impossible. But he did. We know that. It’s just about filling in the blanks of how. And NCIS: Origins feels like it’s peeling back the curtain of how.

And we’re not there yet, of course. Grief is never this easy a journey. But at least now there’s a path forward, and one we’re interested in following.

Things I think I think:

I like Franks’s wife(?) even though we’ve only seen very little of her. I cannot wait until we get to the bottom of that.

Sometimes it’s jarring to remember this show is set in the 90s and everyone just made insensitive jokes about race and/or women in the workplace.

“He’s used to it, he’s a redhead.” Poor Randy! He works hard.

Ok, but I’m dying to find out what the deal is with Strickland and Franks, particularly considering what we already know of Strickland from NCIS.

I find myself always being “Mike, what are you doing”? about Franks, except when he confronted that dude who lied.

Everyone’s interactions with the kid in this episode killed me, because everyone was so gentle. Ofc, the fact that it was Gibbs, as a dad – even if his kid isn’t alive anymore, who got to her, remains my favorite thing.

Lala’s face when Franks tells Mary Jo “no, because you’re both Blac,k.”

Ok, I feel like we gotta take note about the fact that Gibbs knew the details about the toys his daughter liked, even though he was surely actively deployed for parts of her life, because he was a good dad.

“Just because I lost my little girl doesn’t mean I can’t go in there and talk to that one.”

The way he got her to open up, too.

LOOK, if I cried as he cried over the toy, no one’s gotta know.

“You’re not alone, I had my own …” What, Mary Jo? What?

Also, Mary Jo almost took out the guy herself! Go you.

“This is the job.” Yeah, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard or that it’s bad that people care.

Good man, bringing Tish flowers. Good man.

[xxdrowninglessonsxx]

The switch up of y’all is so funny. I understand now why other communists like me say they can’t stand libs. You libs were so against the Biden/Harris campaign until Joe dropped out, and suddenly y’all want to vote for her even when she’s complicit in a literal genocide. Make that make sense.

“She’ll keep our government from reverting!” Okay? Our government has been reverting, and it wasn’t good to begin with. This is a country built on the backs of black and brown people. This is a country that was stolen from indigenous communities. She’s not the savior you prayed for. She’s a human being with flaws, and we shouldn’t ignore those flaws.

The caste system will continue to be enforced, and the people who live paycheck to paycheck will continue to struggle to survive. Also, what about Palestinian lives? Do they suddenly not matter? Not saying I’m not going to vote for her, but you can’t just sit there and ignore the fact that she’s a warmonger like every other US president. (I honestly don’t know if I will vote, but I was intending on voting 3rd party as I did in the primaries.) Nothing is going to change until the people actually step up, and if you think this system can be “fixed,” it won’t be until it’s torn apart and rebuilt by the poor.

It’s like what Malcom X said, “If something is yours by right, fight for it or shut up.” Until you people start rioting and get fed up with what the government is doing, you won’t see change. I’m not talking about peaceful protests. I’m talking about riots. Riots and protests are the only thing that have changed the outcome of anything in this country because the people outnumber the 1%. They’re so scared that they have to send the pigs out to handle it. Yes, I said pigs. It’s time to wake the fuck up and take the power into your own hands.

Not to mention prisons are legal slavery, but I don’t see any president or senator taking about how they’re going to change that. You know why? Because our government officials benefit from it. Not to mention, black people have the highest incarceration rate, but I don’t see that as a talking point. The right to abortion is already threatened if not totally banned in many US states. Not to mention the Project 2025 bullshit.

I understand why voting for her is appealing, as if there’s no other option. Do you really think she will win though? Let’s be real. When has this country ever elected a woman, let alone a woman of color? She’s entered the race very late, and Biden already wasn’t going to win, and if you thought he’d win, you’re very stupid. Why would his Vice President win when everyone hated him? The vote is already going to be divided, and as we all know the electoral college loves to take liberties. I believe you democrats are getting your hopes up. Do you forget that Trump already went against a woman before, and many (stupid) people are going to want him in office purely because of gas being cheaper when he was in office? (It was mostly due to Covid and the stay at home order, which is why it was cheaper.)

The fact that we have pick and choose a “lesser evil” is just one example of how fucked up this country is. We are not a true democracy. Kamala Harris is not going to wave a magic wand and help you keep your rights. She will probably sit idle in the Oval Office and do nothing because the president doesn’t care about you. No government official cares about you. Bernie Sanders, a millionaire does not care about you. (This one’s for the republicans!) Donald Trump, as well, does not care about you. They care about power.

What we need to focus on is community because if she doesn’t get elected, and Trump wins, which is still entirely possible because of the shooting. We need to focus on actually organizing and demanding change. Not asking politely. Demanding. He’s already stacked the Supreme Court with people of his choosing which caused the overturn of Roe V. Wade. Even with Kamala possibly becoming a president, we need to organize to stand an actual chance against this tyrannical government. Our rights in West Virginia are already been threatened due to incompetent politicians, but I’m sure none of y’all voted in the primaries, right?

Also, if you libs suddenly decide not to care about the genocides that the US continually funds just because a woman is in charge, it will just show how performative you people are.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on for hours if I had to, but I’ll stop here.

Here’s some books you should read if you agreed with anything I just said:

Capital by Karl Marx

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Y. Davis

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Y. Davis

On Palestine by Noam Chomsky

The Trial by Franz Kafka

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

Armageddon in Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

The Ballot or the Bullet by Malcom X

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Night by Elie Wiesel

The Autobiography of Malcom X by Malcom X

Here’s a link to The Marxist Internet Archive

Also, I’m still learning about communism and anarchism, so if any comrades want to correct me on anything I said, feel free. Idc what libs have to say.

[jmagnabo92]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - The Ghosts’ Solution

The ghosts are elated that Sam can see them and try to figure out the best way to get Sam to not open the hotel. 

Spoilers may happen.  

Discussion and Gifs below:

I love that Isaac’s just like “Okay, Troops” as if they’re his army under his command.  It’s especially funny in a few gifs.

LMAO - Thor: Unknown waters are dangerous - unless Cod and Hetty starts off like “Yes, he must know - he’s a traveler” then two seconds later - “Damn it with the cod!”

At this point, Hetty (like the four older ghosts) have heard about Thor fondness for Cod for over a century and it’s like hearing my dad’s stories about the marines - fun at first, now boring.

Anyway, I love that she makes the same face EVERY time she hears it.

I love that these four are just looking at him like - WHAT?  Why are we listening to this man?  Also, going to note Trevor’s sitting position because damn - how long did it take him to learn how to sit so he’s covering himself.

Isaac’s a humble bragger - or just a bragger.  He’s just like “Yes, I’m awesome” - oh Isaac, you forget who you live with.  

I do like that Pete’s just intrigued like “Oooh, interesting.”

I LOVE SASS - OMG!  Isaac’s bragging (and perhaps Trevor, Flower and Alberta haven't heard this bit before) until Sass goes “you’re a dumbass - you didn’t win, you surrendered.”

I love how Trevor and Flower slowly turn to Sass like “did you really just say that?”  It’s interesting because this tidbit reminds us that Sass was THERE when Isaac’s life was happening and WATCHING.  I like to think that Sass pulls shit out of his ass - half true, half untrue - just to mess with ‘the Captain’ Isaac.  They’ve lived together WAYYYYY too long.  

Also, love Alberta’s little laugh.  It’s so fun seeing their reactions. 

LMAO!  This is SO FUCKING FUNNY.  

Isaac - it worked!  

Sass - yeah but you died two weeks later.

Isaac - it worked, damnit!  That was the point.

It’s just so funny because Sass is clearly having NONE of bossy Isaac and sassing him (pun intended) and Isaac just - doesn’t know how to deal with that. It’s like he’s not used to this despite the fact that he’s been living with Thor & Sass for 250 years.  Like - dude... you should expect this.  

IDK I love it because it makes me wonder how they survived the last two centuries with each other or it’s like brotherly teasing at this point.  Either way, FUNNY.

Also - they all know you’re good at talking, Isaac, they’ve heard it a lot - they’ve LIVED (Afterlived)? with you for YEARS - Centuries in Sass’ case.

I love that Thor & Hetty are next to each other in this scene.  Just because Thor is SO FREAKING EXTRA and Hetty’s like - you have a point until - Woah there buddy!

Like she probably agrees with him until he goes a step too far and then she raises her hands as if to stop him gently.  

Also, does anyone else wonder if Thor isn’t interested in talking because he was abandoned?  Like maybe the 500 years he lived alone made him more bitter and violent and unwilling to compromise or talk things out?

LOL - I guess we know who Alberta struggles with at times - Thor, which makes sense because he’s very violent at times.  I love how she looks at Sass&Flower like “You two should be able to calm him down.”  

I wonder if they’ve ever talked about that / used Ghost Court to make him chill out - I mean, it’s not working, but...

Sass looks so over it - he’s been with the guy for 500 years, so at this point...

Flower’s like “let’s change the subject”...

Also, Trevor’s just like a puppy - he’s looking at Thor & Hetty concerned and then at Alberta like “Oh, yeah, something should be down about this.” and back at Thor & Hetty like “well, not me”.

Flower’s on the side of keeping the livings - probably because their afterlives have been SO boring, while the older ghosts argue otherwise.

This is very interesting - Thor, Isaac, and Hetty are hardcore against the livings staying because “they’ll be overrun” BUT Sass seems indifferent, while the younger ghosts are game for it.  

Just like in the pilot, no one’s stances have changed.  This is interesting because Hetty seemingly grew attached to Sam in the day she was there, but it’s also possible that Isaac got in her head about the hotel.  Not that Isaac’s manipulative, but Hetty (aside from in DP) pretty much defers to men - particularly Isaac, in the first season.  She doesn’t really start to realize that she can and should voice her opinions until the Vault, which is a turning point for her.  Although there was leadup to that moment - standing up to Elias was HUGE for her.  

Anyway, I digress.  You can see that she’s obviously been listening to Isaac because of what he says next.  

This is an important piece of dialogue.  Why?  Because Sass’ sass of Isaac earlier was just funny in a brotherly - we’ve lived together way too long way - but HERE is where Sass shows that YEAH, he’s learned to live with Isaac, but he has a rightful chip on his shoulder given that Isaac was fighting for the right to be a country from the people who invaded Sass’ people’s land and took it from them.  

I really wish the show went into the likely underlying issue with Sass & Isaac - if I recall correctly - we rarely see these two alone together.  They certainly don’t seem to be close or even all that friendly at times. 

Given that we later learn that before Pete died, no one compromised on anything and they fought ALL the time, you have to wonder if this was and still is a problem not yet, resolved.

Speaking of Pete...

He’s SO USED TO STEPPING IN AS A MEDIATOR that he jumps in before Isaac can even think of a response - we don’t even see Isaac’s non-verbal reaction because Pete jumps in so quickly. 

Also, I wonder how long he’s been thinking about this?  Since the scare?  All night?  During this convo?  He seems very well prepared.  

Finally, it’s a great idea for peaceable way solve the problem.

Awww, of course the youngest is the first to be like “Yes - this is awesome”.  He says he likes it because ‘hot chick stays’, but I also think he just likes the idea that they would be less bored with young livings around.  He’s quick to learn their names AND he mentions “No hotel” because he knows that he should agree with the older ghosts’ opinions that hotel is bad.  Personally, I could see Trevor loving the “hotel” since it would bring life and fun to the house he’s been stuck in for decades - totally bored.  

And naturally, he agrees with Pete - who was the only one to side and support him when Hetty accused him of murder.

Awww, I love that Alberta ponders the possibility and then sides with Trevor - and HE��S SO HAPPY.  He’s like “yes, I have a buddy”.  We don’t see much of Trevor & Alberta, but I can imagine as the 4th youngest (and therefore on the young side) that she bonded with him more than the older four despite being with them longer.

Also, it’s interesting that it appears 4 vs 4 - young versus old.

Sass is the only one to not say one way or another what they should do or if he sides with youngest or oldest ghosts, BUT in a future Episode he says that he “Always takes the opposite of Trevor’s Side” so we can assume that he’s with the Oldest ghosts.  And in order we have the 3 older/oldest ghosts say negative - Flower start the positive train and now Alberta’s saying it too.

It’s so fun!  

Also, he fist bumps her shoulder and smiles so happily at her as he listens to her discuss the positives.  :)

OOOOOH!  Okay BIG SPOILERS HERE: 

DAMN HETTY - you’re HARSH here.  You could just let it go, you could just support her but you KNOW she was murdered, Hetty!  You were THERE and know who did it!  Like WHAT???  

Honestly, the gaslighting here is SO HARSH and unnecessary.  Why are you protecting them???? Imagine if this had been the thing that kept Alberta from being sucked off - that would be TERRIBLE.  And even though it wasn’t... to possibly be the reason Alberta’s stuck... 

Ouch.  Anyway.  I’ll probably keep track - how many times does this come up and how many times does she attempt to gaslight Alberta into believing otherwise?

Also, one other note - why the F does Alberta WANT to be murdered?  Who wants to be murdered?

Okay, some notes here:

Alberta, there’s nothing wrong with heart attacks.  Okay, your Buddy there next to you died of heart problems... he’s literally SITTING next to you and you’re like “I’m not that lame” WOW, Alberta.

Second, Trevor’s gone from smiling and happy to concerned about the fighting to looking at Alberta go on about how ‘lame’ heart problem deaths are somewhat tensely - upset.  Knowing how he died makes (as mentioned above) this statement kind of callous.  

Now, the interesting thing about this is that his death is only ever mentioned 1 time.  During Trevor’s pants.  He, unlike Pete, Flower and Alberta (the youngest ghosts), never talks about his death.  And seeing this - that look on his face as he looks down at her as she talks about how her death had to be better than that - had to be the reason he never talks about it despite claiming that it was a party and he was legend when it happened.  

I would give Alberta a pass for ‘potentially not knowing’ because she wasn’t there but neither was Hetty and Hetty’s the one to make the statement that ‘his heart exploded’, so they DO KNOW.  So, no pass Alberta.

Third, Hetty like ruffles herself weirdly when Alberta goes into her “my death rocked” theory, and it’s only been a theory for 90 plus years, which intrigues me.  Is it because she knows that Alberta’s right?  Is it because Alberta’s doing that thing that the older ghosts get annoyed by (the talking / joking about their deaths) that the youngest ghosts minus Trevor do.  

OOOH, interesting - he’s the ONLY one not to of the four youngest main ghosts...  Is it because of this Alberta/Hetty exchange?  Could he feel like it wasn’t fun or cool enough to talk about?  Aw, poor Trevor.

Sorry, he distracts me.

Lastly, is PETE.  As we see below - he is once again the peacemaker.  We don’t know if Hetty had another retort, but what we DO know is that Pete jumps in quickly - just like with Isaac/Sass - and offers some comfort.  

What’s interesting about this comfort is that, at first, it seemed obvious that he was comforting Alberta about the possibility of her heart attack being her death, but NOW, I'm thinking - he’s offering TREVOR comfort.  He wants TREVOR to feel less sad about his death, since he went from smiling and happy to upset at the topic.  Trevor’s only been dead 20 years, so maybe he hasn’t gotten to the whole ‘mock my death’ part of accepting death like Alberta, Pete, and Flower.

OOOOh, could that work???

There’s stages of accepting ghost life / your death.

1. Don’t Talk about it - even though you’ve accepted it.

2. Joke about it because well, what else can you do?

3.  Refuse to acknowledge it unless you have no choice.  

4. Accept it but don’t go out of your way to bring it up.

Ah, Pete, making jokes about the arrow.

LMAO. FLOWER!  WHAT???  Sass is so like ... these dumb idiots - why am I stuck with them?

LOL - Pete’s like “Uh, the Fuck question is that?” - Okay, he’s nicer than I am about it, but he’s like “Hello, obvious!” LOL.  

ANYWAY.  End of this scene!  It was fun - I didn’t realize how much I could about just one scene but there was a lot of little tidbits about the characters in just the one scene that make A LOT more sense given the future episodes and how things tie together.  

I love it.  Anyway, this was fun (I feel like Tigger) 

 please feel free to reblog and come talk to me about this! :)  OR Send asks :)

THanks!

[beyondthegame]

A drabble (no one asked for) showcasing Cypress and E’s friendship—especially during troubled times. It also mentions why Cy has full custody of their siblings.

—

Cypress’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as they continue on down the street. Their fingers tap against it as they wait for E to pick up the phone, by the third ring they do.

“Cypress, you’re missing me already?” E utters down the line, their smile practically laced in their teasing words. And you know what, it’s the exact voice Cypress needs to hear right now.

“Are you at home?” Cy shoots back.

“I am.”

“Alone?”

“Yep,” E answers with ease. “Why do you ask?”

Cypress indicates left when E asks that. They change gears and turn the corner before they’re back on a long stretch of road. They know where they’re going, they know which penthouse complex they’re going to park in front of.

“Because I’m almost outside your home but I would’ve turned back if you were busy.” Cypress isn’t good at this, not even with E. The bit where you have to be vulnerable, where you have to admit you need help, that you need some love and comfort.

Though, it’s something E picks up on quickly. “Come on, de Vera. I’m never too busy for you.” They’re soft and tender words, but there’s worry in them too. “Are you okay?”

Cypress pauses because the real answer is no. They can’t be okay after the news they were given precisely twenty-two minutes ago. They open their mouth, close it as they drive through a green light, and eventually let the words tumble out of their mouth.

“My dad’s in London,” Cypress blurts out. It’s the first time they’ve said it out loud and it makes them want to vomit.

The fact that E hasn’t said anything proves they know the severity of the situation, even more when E murmurs out the words, “Shit. Looks like I’ll be needing an alcoholic drink.”

—

It’s funny how different Cypress and E’s homes are, how they practically match their opposite personalities too. Cypress has a family home, one with multiple bedrooms and a playroom for their little brother, Kenzo. E has a penthouse with large, tall windows, alongside a studio in the basement so they're able to make music in the luxury of their home whenever they wish.

They'd never admit it, mostly to ensure E's ego stays in check, but Cypress enjoys coming here to escape for a bit. It's almost a different life from the one they live, but it brings comfort to them all the same. Or maybe that's just a thing when they're in E's presence.

"The news I've told you doesn't warrant us to drink tequila at lunchtime, E," Cypress utters as they take a seat in the living room.

E rolls their eyes but obliges. They join Cypress and take a seat across from them, with no alcoholic shots in hand. "I disagree, but fine."

E looks completely different to how most usually see them. They're in loungewear, nothing designer, they're free of any make-up so their freckles are on show. It's a look Cypress has seen thousands of times, one they've even complimented when E has particularly bad feelings towards their appearance on difficult days.

"So, your dad just turns up out the blue?" E asks gently, almost trying to coax the story out of Cypress slowly.

"It seems so," Cypress mumbles. "He texted earlier and said so."

E's top lip quirks upwards. "What do your siblings think about it?"

Cypress blinks. "I haven't told them," they say candidly. "I know I have to but..."

There's something that bubbles within E. Anger would be too strong a word, protectiveness would be much better. They've always had that protective streak for the little de Vera family, and it's vice versa too.

"Your dad's an asshole, Cypress," E says, no hesitation in their voice. "No offence."

That's one of the last things Cypress could possibly get offended about. "Sure. But he's their dad, I can't exactly...just ignore him."

E's eyes roll before a heavy sigh falls from them. "You can do what you want, Cy. Good dads don't take off and fall off the face of the earth a year after their children's mother dies. He doesn't get to reappear in your life when he feels like it. Not to mention he left you to take care of your siblings whilst you were, are, grieving."

They're absolutely right. Cypress doesn't need a recap of the events from the last three to four years. It goes around in their mind at night when the insomnia hits, the way it happened so fast. How their mother passed away, their father left without warning or much contact, and how Cypress was left to pick up the pieces of their grieving, broken family.

"You're better off without him and you don't owe him a fucking thing, Cy," E voices.

Cypress lets out a sigh. "That's easy for you to say. You have a brilliant relationship with your dad."

E does, there are no lies in that. Javier Acevedo couldn't be a better father or human being to E if he tried.

"You do too. I'm positive my dad loves you more than me sometimes," E says, with the hopes that it'll pull a smile out of Cypress.

It does, a small smile that dances over Cy's lips, and it genuinely makes them perk up a bit—almost enough to make them forget the issues going on in their life. That's what the two of them do for each other; Cypress and E would break themselves in half to ensure the other was whole. They'd be there for one another at 4am in the morning when there are tears or haunting thoughts. They’re too much of a family to leave the other in ruins.

“You can rant to me,” E mutters, pulling Cypress out of their thoughts. “We can go out to eat, I’ll drive us somewhere. I’ll sing to you. I’ll pick the kids up from school and chill with them so you can be by yourself and think for a bit,” they list.

E gives Cypress a soft look. “I’ll give you a hug. Whatever you want, Cy. I’ll do whatever will make this easier for you.”

And there it is. The process of fixing that Cypress doesn’t have to do for themselves. Someone else will see them struggling and put them back together, and of course it’s E Acevedo running to their rescue.

Cy swallows hard. “I wouldn’t mind that hug.”