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OMG Yes please make the All Too Well fic! And yeah it is crazy that we thought about him with the same song
I was originally going to use the original version of this song, but after listening to Taylor's version again, it hit differently. This story was a little difficult to write because I really didn't want to make Nick the bad guy. But, at some point in our lives, we all make that one mistake we regret for the rest of our lives, right? In my universe, this was Nicholas's.
All Too Well
Tags: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @fadingintothegrey @an0mallly @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers
My sister's house in upstate New York that Autumn was so cold; colder than Virginia. The moment we walked through the door together, she smiled so big, squeezing my arm and saying how it felt like home. My sister loved her instantly.
She wore a red scarf around her neck that she said kept the cold out and her body heat in. I didn't believe her. It was so thin and small. There was no way. But it smelled like her, and her scent always made me weak.
I was five years older than her, but nobody could ever tell. People would say my sweet disposition and her wide-eyed gaze that was always focused on me made us look so compatible together that age was never something anyone ever questioned about us.
The whole ten days we were in New York together, singing in the car, almost running countless red lights because I couldn’t stop looking over at her and how beautiful she was with the wind in her hair, getting lost on some crazy back roads with autumn leaves falling down like rain all around us, was the best ten days of my life. It was nothing but the purest magic ever to be found in life. Even after it was long over, I could still picture all too well; her smile, her eyes, her laughter, all of it. It was love. I was in love with her, and I knew she was in love with me.
My mom came to visit my sister. Knowing y/n and I were there, she brought my childhood photo album and embarrassed the hell out of me. My cheeks never turned as red as they did when she saw me sitting in my old red car twin size bed in just my underwear and glasses; god, those horrible thick, black rimmed glasses.
Then came the t-ball stories that made my mother proud to tell, but made me cringe. But y/n hung on every word my mom said as she learned more about my past and, for the first time, I knew she was my future despite what was waiting for me back in Virginia. I didn't want that anymore. I was over it. I wanted what I had right then; at least I tried convincing myself I did.
As we drove through those back roads, I was aching to say, "I love you," but for some reason, I was too scared to call it what it was, until it was too late. Until it was already dead, gone, and buried beneath the hate and bitterness of her heart, and I didn't blame her one bit for the way she felt. I deserved it.
That same night, I stole her innocence, promising her that she was the only one I'd ever want and that what we had was real, because in the heat of the moment, I really meant it. But in the end, I knew it was a lie from the very beginning. I stole her magic and treated it and her innocence as if they were some ordinary, mundane things when they weren't.
After three months of silence, the moment she found out the truth, the painful look of shame that graced her beautiful face was too much for my heart to handle. I wanted to die, to run away from her and never see her again. There was nothing else for either one of us left to do except hope that she would forget me long enough to forget why she ever felt like she needed me in the first place.
The very last time we were happy was right after we came back from New York, and she stayed over at my place. It was the middle of the night, and I awoke to her not beside me, so I got up and went searching for her only to find her in the kitchen listening to "You Belong To Me" by Jo Stafford; our song. I sat on the stairs for a moment, watching her dance in the glow of the refrigerator light as she looked for something to eat or drink, knowing in the morning all of this was going to end.
I cried, hating myself to the point that I rushed back upstairs and threw up in the toilet. I had kept her a dark, dirty little secret when she only kept me like an oath swearing over and over her loyalty to me. It was all a masterpiece until I tore it all apart. For what? I don't even know anymore.
A month after that night, I called her up to tell her I was moving to my sister's. She answered the phone, sounding so hopeful and optimistic, but when I told her that I was leaving, y/n asked if I was going alone. I didn't want to be honest, but I had lied to her long enough, so I was. I told her the truth (or at least what I had convinced myself to be the truth) about her and I and that what we had was never going to work because of the age difference. I was casually cruel, crumbling her heart up like a piece of paper and throwing it to the floor. I knew she wanted to die because I had felt that kind of pain before, too.
She asked me why I was doing this to her on the eve of her twenty-first birthday and I cringed, completely forgetting the date. She screamed at me, saying it was supposed to be fun turning twenty-one, but now she was nothing but paralyzed by pain and regret. I promised her it would get easier and she disagreed, saying time doesn't fly when you're bleeding like a soldier on the battlefield. Then she asked the crucial question, the one I was hoping she never would; "Did the love affair between us maim you like it maimed me?"
I felt cold, numb from all the pain. I didn't answer her, just told her goodbye then hung up the phone. I went for a walk, plagued by memories of the past in the city's barren cold as the first fall of snow glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well.
I'm boxing up all her things she left behind. Her red plaid shirt, her hairbrush that still holds strands of loose hair, a pair of panties I remember pulling off of her the very last night I made her my own, and her old scarf; the red one she wore to my sister’s that day in New York. I bring it to my nose and breath in deeply, soaking in the remaining scent of her it holds. It reminds me of innocence and the way things used to be. I can't get rid of it. So, I open my dresser drawer and gently lay it in there, touching it one last time before closing it. I remember her wearing it all too well and I never want to forget it either. She loved me so, back before I lost the one real thing I'd ever known. What we had was rare and I know I’ll never have it again.
I say her name every once in a while, like a sacred prayer to remind myself of the one and only good thing in my life that I lost. And the memories of her come rushing back every time, reminding me of her love, all too well.
#nicholas ruffilo fanfic#nick ruffilo#nick ruffilo fanfiction#bad omens cult#bad omens#bad omens fan fiction
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Lungs trying to asphyxiate me constant coughing head hurt back hurt shoulders hurt feet hurt occasional sinus clogging starting to feel hot and cold at the same time. All these things trying to kill me at once and failing. I’m starting to root for them to succeed because I know there’s no way to stop or lessen any of it.
#I’ve taken my inhaler 5 times already it does nothing#I’ve taken three Tylenol extra strength pills two hours ago they did nothing in fact the migraine is worse#the coughing is from asthma and allergies there’s nothing I can do about it#back shoulders feet and sometimes kneck always hurting is normal for me it’s 24/7 pain I’m used to it by now#the sinus problems are spring allergies and ussually medicine kinda helps to make it less bad but I don’t have any of that medicine right no#because I usually don’t get spring allergies until April and it’s only late February. I’ve never had spring allergies this early.#spring has never come this early.#feeling hot and cold at the same time tho that’s a new one ussually that’s only when I have flu or something#is that what this is????#is this the flu??? is it Covid?????? is it simply spring allergies and asthma???? who fucking knows#whatever it is it’s gonna kill me by morning time so#it was nice knowing you all#sending my last love wishes to my mutuals#eh I doubt anybody’s reading this anyway#there’s really no point in writing in the tags anymore#I just needed a distraction
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thoughts on thistle and yaad's dynamic that i vomited in the tags of another post but will now try to articulate here: they're not actually family, or at least they shouldn't be. not in a conventional sense anyway. framing them as uncle and nephew (even in a non-literal, silly fantasy world way) rides more on technicality than anything concrete.
what i mean by this is yaad calls thistle by name and says he and delgal were raised "like" brothers. he talks about thistle like he's an outsider imposing himself into the melinis' space, and it's clear that thistle was never legitimized as a member of the family. for thistle's part, though we don't know how he would treat yaad pre-demon brainrot, it's safe to assume based on the way he punishes him—turning him into a doll—and how little is shown in the way of any sort of relationship between them that thistle only cares* about yaad as an extension of delgal (otherwise i'd expect something like kabru and milsiril, because it's not like another complicated interspecies family dynamic would be out of place, yet there's next to nothing on them even in bonus content, just their scant interactions in the main story).
in essence, they're strangers to one another. thistle's desperation to preserve the illusion of a family, a model where he doesn't even fit, was the snare they were caught in for the past thousand years of stasis. yaad-as-nephew is a prop to uphold that illusion, and thistle is playing a role he's unfit to play. in the context of post-canon interactions, attempting to reconstruct that facade would only be a reenactment of trauma for them both (in a deeply compelling way i'd love to watch unfold, tbh), as that "uncle and nephew" framing places thistle in an implicit position of power over someone he's already traumatized through misuse of authority in the past, a role which also perpetuates his adultification and yaad's infantilization in turn. it'd mostly be an obstacle to any real connection.
best to burn the melini family bridge, i think, and if there's still anything salvageable left in the rubble, let something different supplant it.
#not to say i don't enjoy when they're portrayed as a weird set of uncle and nephew - that's really fun too#i think their history and shared connection to delgal would be a key element to their dynamic no matter what#and it's something they would tryyyy to make work at some point. for lack of other options.#it's not smn i take too seriously either! but thinking about it for more than 2 minutes makes me go oh yikes#i do think they could be family - i'm a certified sucker and sap so i want them to be - but#growth means moving past that more conventional way of thinking of family#side note as someone with a large extended family i DO have uncles who are younger than me lmao#but i'm viewing the whole uncle + nephew thing with thistle and yaad more symbolically for the purposes of this#additional note the fantasy age-fuckery and power dynamics at play means thistle has been in an actual position of authority#over his younger family members like any older relative would be in spite of his being quite young and immature#so. no. don't try to be his uncle anymore. and he isn't your nephew. and oh god he isn't your dead brother let it go. stop with the labels#don't try to resurrect that corpse (< writing them trying to resurrect that corpse as we speak)#not sure if these tags are coherent pero basta lang. yaad and thistle stay complicated forever that's all i want#feel free to chime in or disagree as i'd like to crack into this like crispy lechon and my opinions are subject to change#roomba media#thistle#yaad#thistle & yaad#melinis#dunmeshi#dunmeshiposting#dunmeshi spoilers#thistle dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#edit: changed some inaccurate wording in this one whew. english
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I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.
Bonus comic featuring my grundo:
#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage#neotag#neopets#vin memes#you'reall to blame for this monstruosity#i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that”#i didn't stop to think if i should though#Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing#again if youre seeing this with no context#you dont need context#i... i don't think there's any for that matter#just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn#i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before#my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO#yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back#also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him#split it is for now#i don't want to look at this anymore end me#i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold#thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy#kreludorian health insurance in a farse
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Hungry to write, not knowing what project to pick and work on.
#also straight up lonely rn#i know i'm not supposed to get tired of doing good but i am. i am tired of everything that goes wrong for my mom and the fact that she#can't even really do math or write legibly anymore and i think most of the reason i get so quick and short and to the point in those#situations is because i'm trying to pretend it's all fine when it is NOT but i don't know what to do i can't fix her i'm not a doctor#and i can't acknowledge to her face how bad it is because she is terrified of being 'sick' she hates this so much#nothing about my mom's situation makes sense i'm lost i want to go jump off a cliff and maybe find some peace on the way down#i don't even know what to pray for for her#just help#help God#raindrops#should i delete this#ugh#no one reads the tags anyway
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Writers tag game
Prompt: share some writing
Thanks for the tag, @miyamiwu!
So, I'll be honest, I don't actually have any WIPs I'm intending to do anything with, but I have some oldish abandoned stuff I managed to relocate. It's back from 2021 so in my Untamed era and this bit was specifically set during Fatal Journey*:
Nie Huaisang woke blearily, cold seeping into his clothes from the floor. It was dark and it took several seconds to remember where he was. He could hear the muffled sounds of clanging and voices. As he lifted his head off the ground, they slowly resolved themselves into the clash of swords and yelling. [...] He didn't know what to do. What would his brother do? Xichen-ge? San-ge? He had his flute with him– he could try Cleansing. This was what it was for, right? Before he could doubt himself further, he started playing, pouring all the qi he could muster into the tune. He'd practised for hours the night before, long after San-ge had left, but despite that, he hadn't truly thought then that he'd need to play so soon. Was that so naïve of him? As he watched, Da-ge began to slow in his movements and Nie Huaisang felt himself start to relax. He kept his lips to the flute, trying not to let his relief fool him into making mistakes. Still, he knew he only had to play a little longer and then they could all escape. Him, his brother, his cousin. They could flee far away from the darkness that haunted these halls. And then Nie Zonghui's head hit the floor. He stopped playing.
And then I had this other bit:
He'd messed up. He must have played a wrong note. Maybe he'd misremembered the entire thing? And now Nie Zonghui was dead and his brother - what looked like his brother - was stood, Baxia dripping blood to the floor. [...] The sword was pointed at him. He tried to hold himself steady as he looked down the blade. Tried to blink away the tears that kept escaping without his permission. He could tell he was failing, unable to stop the trembling, but he forced himself to meet the eyes at the other end of the sword. He couldn't die here. He refused to die here. After all, he was the only family his brother had left.
*(it was meant to be part of a short time travel fic where post-canon characters went back not long before NMJ died. It would've had flashbacks to Fatal Journey interspersed with the "present" up until the point at which future NHS tipped off past NHS about the poisoned music. I actually got as far as figuring out where I wanted all the characters to be at the end of it, but I ran out of motivation pretty quickly so there's only this WIP stuff and the intro part written in the end.)
Ahh not sure who to tag when it comes to writing stuff. I know @roseofcards90 and @floofiestboy write some stuff? And anyone else who sees this who writes, feel free to consider yourself tagged ^^
#I'll be honest. I don't think I'm going to ever post fully for any variation of this fandom because I'm not into it enough anymore#and honestly need to rewatch at some point but also (and this is the big thing) the fandom is just too big it lowkey intimidates me#so sticking to lc methinks which I have a couple of ideas for but haven't been able to actually put anything down#I really want to go into my take on cxs and ql's relationship because I've done something for ql and lg + lg and cxs now#but I kinda think my view on the whole thing isn't exactly the same as the main agreed view on the eng fandom side#like. ql said to ltx she considers cxs a sibling but as for if she'd say that to his face? as for if anyone else considers them siblings?#I think it's complicated (and I mean ql never got ostracised like cxs did) and also cxs's parents factor in to some extent#anyway! I'm tangenting. thanks again for the tag! this had me looking at my more recent stuff for comparison which was interesting#ask meme#miyamiwu#also argh I'm looking at this stuff again and it's like I can do the end lines for impact but the stuff before that is so messy#and also. I keep saddling every character I write with some form of anxiety which works for some characters but not all#I need to either figure out another approach or just write loid forger pov 'til the end of time :V
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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GreedxLing Week Day 1: Love Language
Read on AO3
Returning to Xing wasn't what Ling had expected when he'd left home all those months ago. So much had changed, it was hard to believe it had been less than a year since the first time he'd trekked through the desert with Lan Fan and Fu in tow, planning out his first steps for finding the philosopher’s stone and considering the best way to trick the emperor into believing he held the key to immortality for long enough for Ling to maneuver himself into power. Fu had advised him not to get too far ahead of himself, but Ling had refused to even entertain the notion that he might return empty handed. His clan was counting on him. Failure wasn't an option.
Now they were making the return trip with the Chang Clan heiress and a homunculus who until very recently had been coinhabiting Ling’s body.
Lan Fan had lost her arm, and as guilty as Ling felt for dragging her into the fight that had claimed it, she wouldn’t let him apologize. She insisted it was her choice, and one she’d gladly make again, and he knew her well enough to recognize that if he kept feeling sorry for her she…probably wouldn’t actually punch him in the face–because that would be improper and against her vow to protect him–but she would be seriously tempted to do so. He didn’t mention it again.
And they were returning without Fu.
They were bringing him home, of course they were. They could hardly do otherwise. But it was only his remains making the journey in the urn Lan Fan insisted on carrying herself, carefully checking and repacking it every time they stopped to rest. The old man himself would never again walk at Ling’s shoulder and offer advice that Ling was often too stubborn and foolish to take.
Ling wished they could have stayed in Amestris a bit longer. Just to take some time to heal and rest, to adjust to everything. But the emperor’s health wouldn’t hold forever, and if one of his siblings ascended to the throne before Ling’s return then everything would be for nothing. And Lan Fan’s new automail made it crucial to get across the desert before the summer heat could settle in and threaten to burn her.
Most importantly, Fu needed to be laid to rest properly, with full rites instead of the stopgap cremation ritual that Lan Fan had been taught as a child–because the life of a royal bodyguard was dangerous and often took one far from home to die. To truly let his spirit rest, Fu needed a real funeral. Getting that done as soon as possible was the least Ling owed to the man who had been like family to him, closer and more beloved than most of his blood relatives.
If Ling thought about that for too long he’d break down, and then Lan Fan would feel obligated to try and comfort him even though she’d lost so much more than he had. He couldn’t do that to her. He had to stay strong.
So he focused on easier things, like getting to know Mei Chang, and adjusting to Greed having a separate body.
The fact that bonding with the little sister he’d been raised to regard as an annoying obstacle at best, and a credible threat to his life at worst, qualified as “easier” was a testament to how out of control his life had gotten.
The fact that he felt the need to adjust to not sharing his body with the personification of a deadly sin was probably evidence that he’d gone completely insane.
He didn’t really know how to interact with either of them.
Mei didn’t seem to know how to interact with him either. She switched between regarding him with a suspicion that bordered on outright hostility, as she’d no doubt been taught to act around any competing heir, and a starry eyed admiration that came with repeated thanks for promising to protect her clan and offers to help him with anything he needed that frankly made Ling more uncomfortable than when she looked like she wanted to stab him. He didn’t know how to convince her that his commitment to bringing together all the clans was genuine and not dependent on her sucking up to him.
Also her tiny panda had bitten him like five times, and he didn’t heal as quickly as he used to.
And Greed. Greed was the same as he’d always been, probably, but Ling wasn’t used to observing him from the outside. He knew what the homunculus was thinking and feeling in any situation still, could make his stupid sarcastic jokes in unison with him most of the time, but that was just the knowledge of familiarity. He couldn’t hear the outline of Greed’s thoughts the way he used to, or feel the echoes of his emotions. And Ling was starting to realize that for as good as they’d gotten at communicating, their mental conversations maybe hadn’t been much like talking, because he found it difficult to put anything he wanted to say to Greed into words.
He wanted to say so much to Greed. He wanted to reassure him that they could still rule Xing together even if they were separate people now. Wanted to ask if Greed still wanted that, or if he’d rather find something of his own, even if Ling was scared of the answer to that question. He wanted to scream at Greed for being an idiot and trying to sacrifice himself, for lying to him, for almost leaving him behind. He wanted to beg Greed to never do that again, because Ling needed him, and missed him even when he was still here, and he didn’t know how he’d ever recover if Greed left him entirely.
Ling wanted to tell Greed he loved him, and that he thought Greed loved him too, thought he had felt it when Greed shoved Ling away to protect him at the cost of his own life.
But now that Greed was in his own body, looking like his old self and also an entirely new person to Ling, it was hard to be confident that he still felt the same, or even that he’d ever felt that way at all. Maybe Ling had been projecting, the confusion and emotion of that moment overwhelming him and making him feel what he wanted to feel from Greed.
Certainly Greed hadn’t said anything to indicate he felt that way toward Ling since Lan Fan had flung the philosopher’s stone she’d been carrying into the homunculus’s dissipating form and–in an alchemic reaction that Ed said “made no sense” and “gave him a headache”–Greed’s body from before he’d been merged with Ling reformed around him.
Greed had let Ling scream at him for lying, and being a self sacrificing idiot, and scaring him, had let shove him and also let Ling cling to him and tell him to never do anything like that again.
He’d apologized for hurting Ling, but notably didn’t say he was sorry for what he’d done or promise not to do it again. Ling had been a little tempted to stab him then, but he wasn’t sure how many times the incomplete philosopher’s stone inside him could heal him back up. He didn’t want to risk losing him again. (And, Greed had pointed out later, they’d need to “do the hammer trick” at least once to prove to the emperor that Greed was immortal. Ling had vague, second hand memories of “the hammer trick,” and he was sure they could come up with something a little less traumatizing.)
But other than the apology, Greed hadn’t really talked much to Ling after coming back to life. He didn’t even say that he planned to come back with them, just fell in step beside Ling as they headed out and asked how long it would take to get to Xing.
So Ling couldn’t know if Greed felt the way he did, and the thought of being wrong, of ruining the relationship they did have, kept him from asking. Every big, important thing Ling wanted to say to Greed got caught in his throat.
Greed didn’t say anything either. Sometimes it seemed like he was about to. Ling knew him well enough to tell when he was working up to being honest in a way that wasn’t just not telling a lie, a way that was hard for him, but he never followed through.
But even though they were completely failing to talk to each other, even though the silence was awkward and painful at times when Ling thought about how easily they’d talked and joked before, he couldn’t bring himself to leave Greed’s side for long. They were rarely out of arm’s reach of each other. Most often they stayed so close that Ling thought if it was anyone else he’d be freaked out by the invasion of his personal space.
It never felt like an invasion when it was Greed literally breathing down Ling’s neck, walking so close to each other it was frankly a miracle they didn’t trip over each other’s feet, sitting practically in each other’s laps by the campfire when the chill of the desert night set in. They’d given up the pretense of settling into separate bedrolls after the second time they’d woken up wrapped around each other in the sand between two unused piles of blankets.
But for all that easy closeness, they still barely talked.
Ling couldn’t bring himself to talk to Greed, and he didn’t know how to talk to Mei, and Lan Fan never liked to talk about things before she’d had a chance to process them on her own, so Ling hardly dared to interrupt her grief with conversation. It was shaping up to be the most awkwardly silent trip in history.
Except actually Greed and Mei seemed to have no trouble talking to each other. Half the time the homunculus wasn’t right beside Ling it was because he’d walked off to talk to his little sister. She wasn’t nearly as standoffish with Greed, and he apparently had plenty to say to her. They got along great, other than the first time they’d talked, when Mei had squealed “Mister Greed, that’s so—” and Ling had never found out what that was so because Greed had clapped a hand over the girl’s mouth and hissed something at her, ignoring Xiao-Mei biting his hand in retaliation.
Since then they had quiet conversations that cut off when Ling approached basically every day, and any time Ling asked Greed what they were talking about he just said “don’t worry about it,” or sometimes “wouldn’t you like to know,” which was the type of nonanswer he only gave when he wanted to keep something to himself without technically lying.
Ling watched the two of them conspiring or plotting or whatever it was they were doing, and had to firmly remind himself that he was not jealous of a thirteen-year-old who’d been forced to travel to a foreign country alone in a desperate bid to save the clan she was too young to bear responsibility for.
No matter how easily she got to talk to Greed.
Other than talking to Mei, the only times Greed left Ling’s side was when he’d seen something on the ground he wanted to investigate.
That at least was familiar. Ling remembered spending the winter trekking through Amestris, and how often Greed wandered off the trail to pick up a shiny rock or a weird shaped stick or a bottle cap with an interesting logo to shove in their pocket. Ed griped at him constantly for wasting time picking up trash, but that had never stopped Greed.
What was weird now was that Greed always looked at whatever he picked up critically instead of pocketing it and rejoining the group immediately. He twisted the objects this way and that, examined them in the light, and most of the time he dropped them again as if he’d found them lacking.
Maybe admitting to himself that what he really wanted was people to care for had eased his compulsion to collect whatever caught his eye.
(Maybe having Ling around was enough, even if it wasn’t the same as it had been. Maybe he was satisfied to have a friend, and Ling could be satisfied with that too, even if neither of them ever made a move to make it something more. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.)
The first time Greed found something that met his new standards, it was nearing sunset on their first day in the desert between Amestris and Xing. Greed split off from the group and came back with a rock worn smooth by the blowing sands. The sunlight shone on the rock’s surface, and revealed little clusters of sparkles when Greed twisted it at the right angle. In different lighting it would probably look like an unremarkable gray lump, but it was beautiful in the moment. Ling understood why Greed decided to pick it up.
He didn’t understand why, instead of shoving it in his own pocket as usual, Greed held it out for Ling.
“Here,” he said, looking at Ling expectantly. “Take it.”
“Um, okay?”
Ling held out his hand and Greed tipped the rock into it. It was smooth as marble, and warm from lying in the sun. It fit perfectly in Ling’s palm. He absently ran his thumb over the surface as he looked back at Greed.
Greed had a concerningly smug look on his face.
Suddenly suspicious, Ling asked, “Are you trying to make me carry your stuff so you can pick up even more rocks?”
The smug smile disappeared from Greed’s face.
“No, It’s–ugh nevermind!”
Ling watched, bemused, as Greed stomped away, as much as anyone could stomp over shifting sand, to talk to Mei. The girl patted him comfortingly on the arm and shot Ling a dirty look that he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve.
Ling tucked the rock carefully into his pocket for safekeeping, and then hurried to catch up with Lan Fan and offer to help her find a good campsite.
A few days later, as they were approaching an oasis midway between the Amestran border and the ruins of Xerxes, Greed once again found something he deemed worthy of hanging on to.
The oasis was one of the better documented sources of water on the journey through the desert and trade caravans came through the area regularly. They’d been seeing little bits and bobs that must have fallen off a wagon throughout the day. Greed had stopped to investigate most of it, but only found one thing he actually liked.
Once again, Greed carried his find over to Ling, this time keeping whatever it was closed in his fist as he offered it.
“Here. I want you to keep this. Not carry it for me.”
“...Right.” Ling decided not to comment on Greed’s weird behavior, instead just holding out his hand under Greed’s
A ring dropped into Ling’s palm, a black band set with a purple gemstone almost the exact color of Greed’s eyes.
The stone was fake, Ling could tell right away. He didn’t know if Greed couldn’t tell or just didn’t care. For all his talk about appreciating the finer things, Greed didn’t actually put much stock into how expensive or high quality anything was, perfectly content with costume jewelry as long as it was suitably flashy.
This ring actually wasn’t nearly as gaudy as Greed’s tastes normally ran. It black band was simple, etched with a subtle geometric pattern that was only visible up close. The single stone was large, but not ridiculously so, not something that was deliberately ostentatious.
Ling actually liked it, and maybe it was unbecoming of a future Emperor of Xing, but Ling found he didn’t care much more than Greed did about having only expensive belongings just to prove he could afford them.
Greed shifted anxiously, and Ling realized he’d been silently staring at the ring for long enough for it to get uncomfortable.
“Thank yo–”
“We must hurry, my lord.” Lan Fan called, interrupting Ling’s thanks. “We need to reach the oasis before sundown if we hope to replenish our supplies tonight and get an early start tomorrow.”
Ling knew most people would think she sounded perfectly respectful, as befitted a bodyguard speaking to her master. But he also knew her well enough to hear how annoyed she was getting with the hold up.
“Coming Lan Fan!” he called. Turning to Greed he added, “We’d better go before she decides to stab you.”
Greed looked a little disappointed, but nodded, easily matching Ling’s pace as they began to walk again.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t really want to fight her.”
“Because you don’t fight women?” Ling asked.
Greed hummed in agreement and Ling rolled his eyes.
“That’s such an old fashioned attitude. She could beat you easily, especially if you do that thing where you refuse to use your full shield until you’re already losing.”
Greed looked at Ling like he was stupid.
“Of course she could. She’s insane. I guess you never met my ‘sister’ before she bit the dust, but she was fucking terrifying. And Martel was–” Greed cut himself off, looked away for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing. “Ed’s teacher took out my whole crew single handedly once. That Winry girl’s not even a fighter and she tossed us and Darius and Heinkel and those two Briggs guys out of her room like it was nothing. Not to mention your little sister being–”
“Wait,” Ling interrupted Greed’s list. “Are you saying you’re ‘not the kind of guy who fights women’ because you think all women can kick your ass?”
“I don’t think all women can kick my ass,” Greed argued. “I just think women who like to fight are more likely to kick my ass than men, which is not fun for me, and women who don’t fight probably have no idea how to because of stupid human gender rolls, so I’d feel shitty for beating them up. Also the one time I tried to fight Lust she backed me into a corner and slashed my arms off like ten times in a row while saying I should never hit a lady, so. Don’t really want to do that again.”
Ling burst out laughing as they hurried to catch up with Lan Fan, and ignored Greed’s protests about his reasoning making perfect sense.
He slipped the ring onto his finger as they walked.
He didn’t miss Greed’s pleased smile.
They reached Xerxes before midday, and decided to rest there and head out again the next morning.
Greed announced that he was going to take a look around the place. When Ling stood to go with him he added that he wanted to go alone.
Ling tried to hide his hurt and disappointment at that. He had thought they’d been getting a little more comfortable around each other the last few days.
He must not have succeeded, because Greed suddenly looked panicked and added, “I mean alone for now! We can go together later, that would be cool. But you should…rest! Because you need more of that than me. And you should let me find places that are safe to explore first since you’re all human now and…squishy.” He winced at his own word choice. “Okay, see you later, bye!”
Greed all but fled from where they’d settled in the shade of a ruined building, and Ling watched him go.
Greed was being very weird since the Promised Day. Well, he was always weird, but now it was obvious even to Ling, who’d mostly gotten used to his baseline bizarre behavior.
Greed almost never said what he meant, for all that he didn’t lie, but he was normally way smoother at talking his way around things. Smooth enough that he could even fool himself into believing his bullshit.
And Ling couldn’t figure out why Greed kept giving him stuff. Sure, his whole “I want everything” routine was just a cover for the fact that he couldn’t even admit to himself that he just wanted friends. Ling was able to tell that almost right away, once they joined up with Ed and he let himself think of Greed as something other than an enemy he had to resist.
But he’d never picked up on any real inclination to give things away, no matter how much he cared about the people around him more than he’d ever let on. He also liked having stuff. And yet he hadn’t kept any of the things he’d picked up on their journey.
Ling could hear Greed make his way through the ruined city streets. He was not gifted in stealth, much to the dismay of their traveling companions when they’d been trying to evade the Amestran military over the long months of winter.
It sounded like he was digging through the rubble and flipping stones too big for a human hands to easily move. Ling wondered what he hoped to find. The place had been abandoned for generations. Then again, most people left it alone rather than ransacking it, out of respect for the terrible tragedy that had happened here, so maybe there was something worth finding.
Ling was considering whether he should tell Greed to stop rifling through the remains of a dead civilization when Greed made a triumphant noise and the sounds of digging through rubble stopped, replaced by the sounds of sprinting back towards the rest of them.
Greed audibly stopped running just around the corner of their makeshift shelter and then strolled casually into sight. Ling very kindly refrained from laughing at the terrible attempt at acting like he hadn’t been rushing back. Mei had to turn away and disguise her giggles as a cough, and Lan Fan didn’t bother to hide her judgemental stare.
Greed looked a little excited and a little nervous as he walked over to Ling, though Ling wasn’t sure if someone who hadn’t spent a few months inside Greed’s head would be able to see that through the false air of confidence he’d put on. He was holding something behind his back.
Greed stopped directly in front of Ling and said, “I found this for you,” before all but shoving the hidden object into Ling’s hands.
It was a dagger in a sheath that had maybe once been brightly painted but had long since faded to the barest hints of a pattern. The hilt and cross guards formed elegant curves, and there was a blue jewel inset in the pommel. Ling drew the blade, and though it had long lost its edge, it must have been well made and also incredibly sheltered from the elements wherever Greed had dug it out from, because it was in remarkable condition for how old it must have been. It would probably only need a little bit of maintenance to be usable.
It was a beautiful weapon, but also a practical one, lacking in the tacky extra spikes and jagged edges that Ed liked to give things, and that Greed had often praised as looking “pretty sweet.” It was obvious that Greed had picked it with Ling’s tastes in mind.
“Thank you,” Ling breathed. “It’s perfect. I love it.”
He looked up from the blade to find Greed grinning at him, somewhere between elated and self satisfied.
“I don’t have anything for you,” Ling added, suddenly feeling guilty for taking so many gifts from Greed without offering something in return. “I could go find–”
“You don’t have to,” Greed interrupted, still smiling. “I mean, you can if you want. You know I’ll never say no to a present. But you don’t have to. I didn’t give it to you so you’d give me something.”
“Why did you, then?” Ling asked.
The smile slipped off of Greed’s face, but before Ling could freak out about making him sad, Lan Fan and Mei both groaned in frustration, in a display of synchronicity that Ling didn’t think boded well for his future well being.
“Ling Yao, you are so stupid!” Mei exclaimed. She sounded less hostile than he might have expected with that statement. Her tone almost reminded him of when Al would sometimes despair over what an idiot his big brother was.
“He’s not the only problem,” Lan Fan argued. “Greed, you need to stop acting like a child and use your words.”
Ling was officially lost. He looked between his three companions in hopes of finding a clue to what was happening, and was completely disappointed in that hope.
“Lan Fan, do you know what’s going on?” Ling asked.
“Of course I do!” she snapped before taking a deliberate breath and continuing in something closer to her normal calm and respectful way of speaking to him. Ling could still clearly hear her holding herself back from calling him an idiot.
“Ling, you are my prince, my lord, my future emperor. I would follow you anywhere, I would kill and die for you, and I know you will be a good king to our people. But I cannot deal with this foolishness another second. It was a nice distraction at first, but it’s gone on for far too long.”
She turned away from him to speak to Mei. “I'm going for a walk. Would you like to join me, Princess?”
“Yes, actually,” Mei chirped, hopping to her feet. “ I wanted to take a look around and see if I could find any surviving records of the types of alchemy that were studied here. Hopefully something that doesn’t involve human sacrifice for a change.”
“Wait,” Greed said, sounding slightly panicked. “Mei, you said you wanted to help me.”
“I did want to help you, mister Greed, but Lan Fan’s right. This is taking too long. You two need to sort this out before we get back, or we’re kicking both of your butts, okay?”
Lan Fan, alarmingly, did not object to the idea of Mei kicking Ling’s butt, and instead calmly walked away with the younger girl.
Ling looked back at Greed, who was staring after Mei like a man lost at sea watching his last hope of rescue disappear over the horizon.
“Do you know what we're supposed to be working out?” Ling asked, watching Greed's attention snap to him in a wide eyed stare. “Because I really don't want to get beat up by my little sister and my best friend. Actually, I think I liked it better when they hated each other.”
“Right,” Greed said. He took a deep breath and shook his arms out, his expression settling into something more calm and confident that was almost convincing. “I can use my words, no problem. I don't act like a child.”
“Of course,” Ling agreed, trying to sound encouraging.
Privately he had his doubts. This sounded like it was going to be a serious conversation, and while Greed has many strengths and good qualities, the ability to talk about serious things–or gods forbid his own emotions–was not one of them. He hadn't even been able to tell the difference between wanting world domination and wanting friends until Ling spelled it out for him.
Ling thought he might know what this was about, or hoped he did anyway. But he wouldn't push. If he was wrong it would be awful, and if he was right then it was best to let Greed try and get it out on his own time.
“I want–I mean I–you’re so–” Greed cut himself with a muttered curse. “Let me start over?”
“Sure. Take your time.”
Greed took a few more breaths, looking everywhere but at Ling, before seeming to gather the nerve to continue.
“I want to rule Xing with you,” Greed said in a rush, so fast Ling could hardly make out the words. “I mean, if that offer's still on the table. If I didn't screw it up forever with the lying to you and almost dying and making you waste that philosopher's stone to save my ass. I really hope I didn't screw it up?”
That wasn't exactly what Ling had wanted to hear, but it was still good. It meant Greed wanted to stay with him, and Ling wanted to rule Xing together too. That could be enough. It really could.
He refused to let himself be disappointed.
“You didn't screw anything up,” he reassured. “Of course the offer still stands. I thought that was obvious when you decided to come back with us.”
Greed shook his head. “No–well yes, but. What I mean is…we aren't sharing the same body anymore.”
“Yes, I've noticed that.” Ling agreed slowly, once again lost as to what Greed was even talking about.
“Right. Of course you have. Obviously.” Greed waved his hand vaguely, as if shooing away Ling’s comment. “So, now we’re two different people. I mean we always were, but like, legally or whatever. And, you know, normally if two different people are ruling a country together it’s because they’re together. I guess usually married, technically.”
Oh.
Oh.
That was actually a bit more than Ling had been hoping for, to be honest. But Greed never did anything halfway.
Before Ling could say anything, Greed’s mind visibly caught up with his mouth. His face turned a very interesting shade of red.
“Wait, no, that’s not what I–” Greed waved both hands in the space between them, like he could maybe catch and take back the words. “I don’t mean we should get married right now! Or ever, if you don’t want. We really haven’t known each other that long, even if it feels like I’ve known you forever. I just meant–I really want to stay with you, and not just because I want to rule a country. So maybe we could date? Or something? God, I sound like an idiot! Forget I said anything, I’m just gonna go dig a hole and bury myself for a few hours. Or years.”
Greed turned away, and Ling just managed to shake himself out of his shock in time to catch his hand before he could make a break for it.
Greed could have pulled away easily. There was no way Ling, who was back to being an ordinary human, could have held a homunculus who really didn’t want to stay put. But Greed didn’t pull away. Instead he stopped like he was rooted to the ground. He looked down at where their hands were joined between them, then twisted his so he could interlock their fingers.
Ling couldn’t stop the huge smile growing across his face, no doubt completely goofy and undignified, and not even serving a purpose like the ones he used to put on for his airheaded prince act. He didn’t really care.
“I don’t think you sound like an idiot,” Ling said. “I want to stay with you not just to rule a country too.”
Greed eyes darted up from their hands to look searchingly at Ling’s face. “Really?” He asked.
Of course, for all Greed’s blustering self aggrandizement, he really didn’t think very highly of himself. Ling might be the only one to know the truth of that, so he knew how hard it must have been for Greed to come out and say that he wanted to be with Ling, without even hiding behind some convoluted speech about wanting to own him.
It gave Ling the courage to do something hard himself.
“Yes, really. Couldn’t you feel it when we were sharing a body?” Ling really hadn’t thought he’d been subtle, but Greed just tilted his head in question. “Greed, I love you.”
Greed gasped, looking at Ling like he’d just performed a miracle. He raised his free hand and gently, almost hesitanty, cupped the side of Ling’s face.
“I–” Greed started, and then gave up trying to talk in favor of leaning forward and kissing Ling.
It was a chaste kiss, just a brush of their lips really, and Ling wasn’t sure if Greed was being considerate for his comparative lack of experience, or if the vulnerability of the moment had made the homunculus feel uncertain in the action himself.
Either way, that simple press of lips felt amazing, electric in a way it maybe didn’t have any right to. A part of Ling would probably always miss the closeness of sharing his body with Greed, but now he realized that having their own bodies opened up a lot of exciting new possibilities.
All too soon, Greed pulled away again. He stared into Ling’s eyes, looking every bit as dazed and happy as Ling felt.
“I love you too,” Greed said, his voice barely above a whisper but the only thing Ling could hear.
Greed’s new old body was taller, and Ling had to reach up to wrap a hand around the back of his head and tug him down into another, deeper kiss. But Greed leaned back in so easily he barely had to pull, so that was okay.
Eventually they’d need to talk more, about what they both wanted, about how to frame their relationship to the emperor and the people of Xing so it wouldn’t hurt their chances at the throne. But all of that could wait. For now, Ling was more than happy to let the world fall away as he stood in the ruined city and kissed the man he loved.
When the girls returned to find them like that, Mei seemed torn between finding the romance sweet and being disgusted by her brother kissing someone. She landed on disgusted, sticking her tongue out and saying, “Blech! Do that somewhere else!” before flopping down next to her bags and pulling out a notebook, presumably to take note of whatever alchemical oddities she’d spotted on her walk.
Lan Fan still looked tired and sad, and probably would for a long time yet, but when she smiled at Ling he could tell it was genuine. “I’m happy for you, young lord,” she said, and her voice sounded lighter than he’d heard it since before she cut off her arm.
So much had changed since he’d set off for Amestris nearly a year ago, and Ling had lost things he would never get back. But he’d gained more than he’d ever thought to dream as well.
As he sat in the ruins of the city whose destroyer they had helped defeat, with his best friend, the little sister he never thought he’d be allowed to care for, and the love of his life by his side, Ling thought he’d be ready for whatever changes the future might hold.
#greedxlingweek2024#fma#greed fma#ling yao#greedling#i love these idiots#write a freaking story without thousands of words of introspection up front challenge level impossible#I was like oh i'll just do a quick lil thing about greed's love language being gift giving#thats fun and ironic but also suits him#I guess they'd need to be in separate bodies for it to really work though. ill set it on the return trip to Xing in an AU where greed#got his old body back after the self sacrifice attempt#but then i had to address all the emotional baggage and trauma theyd have at that point#before i could convince my brain to write the dang prompt#your honor in my defense i am simply a yapper#writing a version of greed who has been forced to confront the mortifying ordeal of being known and admit that he wants friends is fun#because he cant hide behind 'ooh im so evil and badass and i want to own you all' anymore#and ive decided hed be incredibly bad and awkward at that#hes got no practice!#ive never written lings pov before#not sure if i got his voice right#ive also never written them separated like this before#i prefer when they're sharing a body usually. ill probably stick them back together for the rest of the week#anyway these tags have gotten out of hand and i need to go to bed#enjoy the greedling!
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Last Line Tag Game
Thanks for tagging me @teejaystumbles ! A really nice surprise!! :D I am indeed contemplating writing two Dead Boy Detectives fic right now, but they're both in the very early 'being-outlined-in-my-head' stage, haha. They both revolve around post-s1 Edwin pining for Charles, one where Edwin takes matters into his own hands and one where he decides to have a chat with the Cat King about it. Not sure if they'll ever be written but they're intriguing!
But for the sake of the tag game, here's a lengthy bit from a Dreamling wip I've slowly been chipping away at for a few months!
A scene from Every Little Thing (Working Title)— In which Morpheus is a figure drawing professor who has just been fired from a film production based on his comics, and Hob does part-time figure modeling and is determined befriend the aforementioned professor.
Morpheus picks his class schedules wisely— he runs two first year general figure drawing classes, at 8 a.m. and at noon on Mondays and Thursdays. He helps the uni’s live figure workshop club on Wednesdays and Fridays at 6 p.m., and meets his sister for lunch on Wednesdays. All other free time was dedicated for his industry work. That wouldn’t be a concern anymore, would it. By the time Morpheus unlocks the door to the studio, sets his bag down by his desk, and starts fiddling with the ceiling studio lights pointed at the model stand, all of Morpheus’ thoughts have reduced to pure spite. Fine, maybe the big studios don’t want him. They don’t deserve him, then, their loss. His portfolio and repertoire are infamous in the industry, they’ll be crawling back to him in no time. Too bad, maybe he would have started his own production studio and he’ll end up with the next ground-breaking animated film. Maybe— Morpheus’ thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. He shakes himself out of it, calling, “Come in.” A glance at his watch tells him it’s only 7:48, perhaps it’s an overeager student here early. It’s only the second week of the semester, they grab every opportunity to prove themselves with a spirited step that Morpheus might be slightly envious of. “Hello, Morpheus Endeles?” Hearing his full name startles Morpheus, and he turns from the lighting settings to the door. “Yes?” The man who steps into view can only be described as radiant. He can’t be much older than Morpheus, not much taller either but wider in the shoulders. His hair is cropped just above his shoulders and he sports a neatly kept beard. Morpheus registers this all first simply because of his profession but— he gets caught on the man’s brilliant smile and deep brown eyes. There’s something there that knocks all thoughts clear out of Morpheus’ head. The stranger smiles warmly, smiles like he already cares. “I’m here to model for the morning and noon figure classes?” The man says. Morpheus clears his throat and steps forward, “Yes, this is the right studio.” He extends a hand, “Robert Gadling, I presume?” The man takes his hand— god, he’s so warm— and shakes it steadily, “Please, call me Hob! All my friends do.”
I'm a sucker for the 'Morpheus catalogues Hob's appearance during their first meeting' trope in most Dreamling human AU fics, I couldn't not do it too :]
Besides this, I've also got a Dreamling Velvet Goldmine-ish AU fic that I want to get done this summer. I'm a very slow and ruminative writer so let's see if I can commit to any of these fics now that I've posted about them lol!
No pressure tags! I have no idea who's been tagged recently so-- lol. @hardly-an-escape @valeriianz @moorishflower @amielot :)
#ive seen so many Artist Dream AUs but theyre always pretty vague with the specifics of his work so i was like#i need to write the specific ins-and-outs of what my ideal Artist Dream AU would be. and its this#that he's a really difficult collaborator with extreme creativity who starts out in animation#and branches out from there into art directing various things doing his own comics on the side (the corinthian is one of his comics)#(he DEFINITELY forays into themed environmental design)#which is half inspired by my actual professors' professional lives and a guest speaker that spoke to us recently#i want morpheus to be really good at teaching younger artists#and i want him to doubt weather his passion for storytelling is worth it#and i want hob to befriend him and ground him by reminding murphy about what he loves about making art#and of course i love figure drawing classes so much! theyre the essence of narrative art#and ofc hob and dream are gonna fuck at some point. i already have a mildly kinky sequel scene planned involving hob knowing how paint#anyway god this is so long#i just love the ideas in this fic theyre so personal to me. i really hope i finish this fic and get to share it with everyone :')#LONG POST AUGH ANYWAY BYE THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME TASH!!!!!!#i dont really get to talk about my fic anymore so this was really nice thank you :') !#rex writes#rex speaks#tag game#last line tag game#long post#fic
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finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)
#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#ik i posted kel’s already but now i am posting both pictures together#i have read through the bios so many times atp that i don't even know if they make sense anymore#i cannot look at them again#i'm just gonna say they're good enough#i might change some stuff here & there but for now#i am over it lol#i'll probably do the rest of the characters eventually..........#maybe...........#but idk. i only really post the boys here so like. yea. yk.#plus i still have the mbz character page to do#which. that has like. so many characters on it. it's a daunting task#i hope the boys' pages are at least somewhat coherent. i tried to be concise & to the point. uh. idk if i was successful in that#but. n e way. i have a few edits & writing things i wanna work on so. character pages are moving to the back burner#i may or may not finally start writing the 90sAU#which btw ty guys for being so nice on that edit???? the comments & tags were all so sweet?????#i really liked that one so i'm glad y'all liked it too
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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old yuri comic GO
#heart art!#adventure forward#af2#stratosfear#ulipse#im not tagging anyone else you cant make me#anyways. this is pretty old. like a good few months#i was GOING to remake it with like proper paneling and some minor rewriting#but iiiii kept forgetting. and i dont wanna work on that anymore#but i really like this comic. and i think its really cute. so im posting the shitty version so that other ppl can look at it#the points are prolly a lil ooc.. but also... funny comic so bleh#transcript of the dialog is in the alt text if you cant read my shitty hand writing and/or tumblr compresses the fuck out of these images.#also a few extra things:#ulipse calls stratosfear fez bc in my beutiful mind i dont think stratos like being called stratosfear too much but tolerates it#but ulipse will NOT be doin that!! so they try to come up with a nickname and accidently come up with fez. which stratos likes#arrolin suggests coins as a gift bc i think it would be really funny if they collected stuff#bc number one rule of dragons. they love having stuff#and i think arrloin deserves to have a bunch of silly collections#and stratos has this thing i like to call this: boring and autism disease.#where you do not know what you like so you just decide to like what everyone else likes#so they just do what everyone else wants to do when they hang out#anyways i love ulipse and i love stratosfear and i mush them together like barbie dolls. please talk to me about ulipse and statos PLEASE
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#Alright lil blog update. Running the reblogs queue again tonight (yay!). Been procrastinating it for like? four months now?#I'm not going to fix the order anymore in a crazy pattern that only I can see. And like the point as always been#“it's only for myself‚ because I like seeing the posts all ordinately lined up ☺️”. But it does start being a problem when.#It actually blocks me from reblogging alltogether. Or makes me end up with 978 posts in the queue and 15584 in the drafts#(lol) (yeah)#Anyways had to write it down publicly because last time I said “screw it I'm not going to post in order anymore”#I lasted exactly one (1) day#Mmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh#I need to make space in the queue so I've set 20 posts in the night / morning for the time being.#Probably going to tag less because again. the posts are piling up. Sorry everyone#So like... After this string of disappointing (and possibly irrelevant?) updates. Feel free to unfollow me etc. etc.#(Mututals included? I really hold no bad feeling I know I post a lot. I don't care about mutualism if we're friends we're friends)#Have a nice day / night!!!#random rambles#Btw for anyone wondering my previous queue lineup was 4 fanarts / 2 other category posts / 4 fanarts / 2 other category posts etc.#(other category could be like. gifsets together. analysis together. textposts of approximately the same length together etc. )#And fanarts had to be coherent between each other for characters / composition / oftentimes color palette#Anyways. Winning over ocd today 💪💪#(I say as I didn't pick this month specifically because the second half of the year starts together with it. Anyways)#ManBreakingChainsMeme.png#Edit: Just remembered this all started because I accidentally hit shuffle queue two or three weeks ago#When it happened I had a mental breakdown and cried for two hours but looking back. Maybe it was really godsent
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Sketches
#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki tomura#spinaraki#these were 2 unrelated sletches but then my brain starting brewing some thoughts#mainly an au where spinner is sent in as a spy (for???? not the heroes lmao) to get into Shigaraki's confidence which of course means#wink wonk bedroom activities ANYWAY spinner catches feelings and doesnt really want to inform on Shigaraki anymore and is feeling conflicted#about what he should do and shigaraki knows something is up with his maybe boyfriend but not what and just :))) angst and split loyalties#amd feeling torn in two directions#(i sya not heroes but the only group with enough prescence is the mla but thats not really their m.o. either so???? idk what group would#have the reach/influence to feel threatened by some upstart kid in the villain world and manipulate a member into taking this espionage job)#anyways ive got so many au ideas and not enough time to write a fic or 12 lmao#like the research + planning + plot points + writing + editing + energy to pull it off.... im tempted to dabble in it all again tbh#im a year behind the manga tho and still havent watched the last season so idk where characters have ended up#and id rather not write anything until i catch up (idk maybe horikoshi has revealed some fun/character specific info?)#here i am talking on + on in the tags. anywho if anyone wants to write a fic based on any of my posts feel free bc i probably never will
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no I understand, tbh I kinda wish that’s how my special interests work but no they just are Always There even if there’s no active content,,, and I appreciate you saying you won’t abandon it, it’s genuinely kinda upsetting whenever authors do just quit a story without finishing it or at least explaining where they wanted it to go (like don’t get me wrong I understand losing interest but imo if you’ve gotten people invested u kinda owe it to em to give closure)
You had me till the end where I need to remind you I don’t owe anyone anything??? No matter how invested you get I don’t charge for any thing I put on the internet cause I write mostly gay fanfiction for copyrighted properties and do this because it’s fun and I want to share. CDAP if far from my first fic or au to get attention and I am aware of the people who want it to continue. I’ve been in and likely will be in the same boat again but never have I ever had the audacity to think the author or artist owes me more of their work just because I was invested.
I have and will delete fics I’ve written at a moments notice for reason more petty than i just felt like it. I make the habit of keeping up or reposting old work just to track my growth, fandom trends and as a curtesy to those who may want to go back and read it. I have literally thought of deleting it for asks just like this because it’s extremely upsetting to me to have people try to compliment sandwich me with “I love your fic and understand the burnout/lack of interest… but I want to read more so like get over it it’s not fair :/“ CONSTANTLY. Like I don’t clearly have other interests I mention or post about and maybe trying to hound me into focusing on only one may actually make me stray farther from it? If I don’t share anything about it ever again that’s my choice. I don’t need to give an outline for anyone to visualize or the ending.
Never ever try to tell anyone that shares their craft in a fandom that they owe anyone anything not paid for. Like I get the frustration, I really do but this is not the way to go about it. I continuously said on this newer blog and my old one that I would continue the fic when my interest in UTDR came back and gave the vague estimate that would be whenever new official stuff came out for it. It’s not concrete but that was my answer and it’s only changed because you’ve made me certain that I won’t be working on it in the foreseeable future, thank you for the help with the realization 🤟🏾
#the owing really got to me cause why would I owe you anything? I don’t know you there’s no agreement here#I write when I have the time and motivation to write and i choose what to write#like I make it clear in my asks I just don’t want to write about it rn#that I’m not interested and will get back to it when I can like I was into Spamton and dr for a year or so#i was obsessed#obviously I burnt myself out and don’t wanna do anything with UTDR and honestly it’s hard for me to want to in the future cause I can’t#for anyone who knows to read my tags at this point save the fics if you want imma gonna go to sleep and then delete them whenever I get up#cause this right here is exhausting like owe my ass sorry to disappoint dickhead#sorry if this seems like a tantrum to some but like I can’t just sit down and write for something I don’t want to big project or not#had I actually seen this in the morning I would’ve just responded with a screenshot of the deleted fics cause how dare you#like when ao3 comes back im deleting the fics cause im not doing this anymore
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