#there’s more but this one launched me into a touch of death combo

[cerastes]

OH COME ON, WHO DID THIS (drawbox)

[y0itsbri]

Falling for You

ballet au one-shot for @gallavichthings 's a.u.gust

summary: dance instructor mickey! ian keeps messing up the lifts with the dancers, and mickey cannot have his girls injured because of this himbo, even if he is hot. he makes ian stay after class to practice on him -- and he swears there's no ulterior motives. but they're so close and his hands are all over him and he can feel his breath and it is so unprofessional but fuck it.

words: 2k

Mickey had a new guy in his class that wasn't doing... well... by any standards. Alright, the dude sucked. Mickey had been a ballet instructor for several years and not once has he met a dancer as uncoordinated and unbalanced as Ian fucking Gallagher.

Somehow, Ian had managed to not only rip the ballet barre off of the goddamn wall in his attempt at a grand plie, fallen flat on his face after pas de chat gone wrong, but he also managed to launch his fellow ballerinas onto the floor instead of the air.

He was a disaster.

Mickey had better shit to do with his time at the studio than patch up his dancers, and studio, after Gallagher's classes. Svetlana's father would have his ass if she got injured on his watch. And Ian being the only guy in their class, there was no way for him not to share the front-and-center spotlight with Svetlana.

Yeah, Mickey wasn't letting Ian any-fucking-where near Svet if he could help it. At least in his current state. Dude was a piece of work.

Mickey figured he would be a lot more upset about all this if Ian's apologetic puppy dog eyes weren't so goddamn convincing.

Fucking Gallagher.

--

"Ayo, Mands! Come help me with this!" Mickey called, echoing in the studio, now nearly empty besides the Milkovich siblings and a six-foot-tall ginger man looking both utterly clueless and utterly terrified. Mickey was utterly hopeless.

Mandy popped in the doorframe, sliding her shoes on but leaving them untied.

"Can't! I got actual shit to do! I don't live and breathe the studio like your sorry ass. No offense, Ian, my brother is great, please stay. Full offense, Mickey, get a fucking life!"

Mickey was left speechless and slightly embarrassed by Mandy's outburst and only managed to flip her off before she was out the door.

"Charming sister you got there," Ian let a quiet laugh slip before schooling his expression at Mickey's lack of amusement.

Mickey sighed and rubbed his hands down the length of his face for a moment. Ian and Mickey held eye contact a bit longer before Mickey abruptly straightened up and clapped his hands together. The noise startled Ian from his own amused trance.

"Alright, Clifford, how do you feel about private lessons for a little bit until you're not tripping over your own feet?"

Ian stepped forward to argue, but, proving Mickey's point, stumbled over the shoes on the floor in front of him. He didn't miss the way that Mickey's mouth quirked up on the side.

"Can't afford extra classes," Ian shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"It's on me," Mickey swiped his top lip. He didn't miss the way that Ian's gaze lingered on his mouth,"Kinda need you..." really want you, "to, uh, look good..." as if he doesn't already, fucking red-headed alien-looking motherfucker, "on the floor..." of my bedroom, goddamn it, Mick, get it together! "the, uh, dance floor."

Ian paused, considering the way that Mickey was stumbling over his words in a way that one might call endearing, another might call the-worst-fucking-experience-of-his-life.

"I'll do it."

Do me. Seriously, go drink some water, oh my god.

Mickey literally took a sip from his water bottle, hoping that it would at least calm his nerves. He was a professional!

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You free after class?" A pause, "To work on some skills, I mean."

"It's a date," Ian smirked, leaning down to pick up his shoes from the ground in front of him. By the time he was upright again, Mickey had already started walking away, but the blush on his cheeks and the back of his neck could be spotted from a mile away. He was utterly fucked.

--

Mickey yawned and got up from his stretching position on the floor. He walked over to the stereo, systematically knocking his dancer's feet on his way over until they were all turned out and pointed.

"No Orange Boy today?" Svetlana asked, meeting Mickey's eyes with a challenging stare.

Mickey ignored the chorus of "He's so hot!" "Have you seen his arms?" and "Ian's the nicest!" from the rest of the girls.

Svetlana raised her eyebrow in question and Mickey's defenses flew out the window. This goddamn power dynamic was going to be the death of him.

"I put him on private lessons until he's no longer a disruption to the class," he shrugged.

"Aww," one brunette pouted.

"Disruption to class or disruption to tiny bulge in your pants?" Svetlana smirked, earning some scandalized gasps from the other dancers.

Mickey flipped her off, "The fucker made me take out a greater insurance policy with all his accidents, don't be fucking absurd."

A blonde nodded understandingly from the back of the class, "My ankle is still a little funky from the last lift we tried."

Mickey held his arms out in a display of I-told-you-so and Svetlana rolled her eyes.

"Great!" Mickey clapped his hands together, earning the full attention of his class as they hurried to their feet, "Now that all the hot drama is outta the air, let's do a quick warm up combo across the floor. Chasse step pas de bourree double pirouette step arabesque, in 5, 6, 7, 8..."

--

Ian had been waiting outside the studio for the last ten minutes of class, more-so watching his instructor shift around than paying attention to what the dancers were actually doing. That's probably what got him into his current predicament, and he couldn't decide whether that was a curse or a blessing. Mickey's arms flexed as he pointed across the room to call out someone's weak spot.

Yup, it was a blessing.

Oh shit, Mickey was looking his way. Was this a double sided mirror? No, of course not. Why would there be a double sided mirror? Oh, Mickey was definitely staring at him. Fuck. Wait, did he just wink? No way, he must've just blinked. With one eye. Yeah, totally normal. Nothing to overthink, Ian.

Get it together!

--

Mickey dismissed his class five minutes early and it had nothing to do with the Jolly Ginger Giant standing outside his studio.

While most of his dancers wordlessly accepted the easy out, Svetlana stayed back to taunt. "Have fun with private lessons," she sneered, jerking off an invisible cock.

"Choke on it," Mickey retorted tossing her warm-up jacket at her face, which she swiftly caught.

Svetlana turned and made a show of looking Ian up and down, his cheeks turning pink under her intense gaze. She faced Mickey head on, "You will be vegetable stew by the time this man is done with you."

The fuck does that mean?

Sometimes Mickey thought that Svetlana spoke in riddles just to mess with him. He blamed it on the Russian accent, never mind he was part Ukrainian himself. The languages were similar, but not identical, fuck you very much.

But, damn, forget that, Gallagher looked good. He was wearing his usual white tank top and grey sweatpants, but Mickey never got the opportunity to openly ogle in class. Not that that was what he was doing now.

Ian returned the long look appreciatively before stepping closer and Mickey snapped back into professionalism, well as far as professionalism goes, Milkovich-style.

He turned his back on the bane of his pathetic existence and snapped a quick but polite, "Get your shoes on and we can get started."

"Oh, right."

That seemed to be enough to get the gears in Ian's head going again as he dropped his bag to the floor, echoing in the truly empty studio, and dropping down onto the floor himself to secure his ballet shoes, which may as well be clown shoes for as big as his feet were. Mickey fit into the same brand as the girls, but he had to order special for Gallagher.

"Thanks for doing this, Mickey."

Mickey. The way that this man said his name was making him feel all sorts of flustered that he would most definitely deny.

"Mandy said you don't usually make exceptions."

"Gotta catch you up to speed or you're gonna be dancing with the 5 year-olds, man."

Ian tilted his head considering.

Mickey frowned, "Don't do it."

Ian smirked and Mickey had to look away as a grin and blush creeped up on his own face.

"Alright, so we'll start you off with the basics."

Mickey went through their normal class routine, but broke it down slowly, pausing to explain certain positions in details he couldn't afford to spend time with in class, specifically how not to fall. It should have been fairly obvious in his opinion, but Ian still managed somehow. The first few times, he was on the floor before Mickey even knew he was going down.

But the third, Mickey made a mistake. Mickey instinctively reached out to catch him.

As soon as he realized where his hands were, he pulled them off like he'd been burned, which he may have well been. He pulled his gaze to his feet, studying the floor while he composed himself.

"Mickey," Ian waited until he looked up, and then he spoke so quietly, "You can touch me."

And what made things worse was that Ian's dazzling eyes left little to the imagination. They both knew where this was going, and the moment was too intense too quick. The longer their eyes held, the hotter Mickey felt his neck grow.

"Ya know," Ian stepped closer. "To fix my positions..."

Mickey swallowed, "Uh, I think we're done for today."

He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. He never meant them to begin with. But if Ian stayed any longer, Mickey was going to climb him like a tree and that really wasn't under his personal code of professionalism, no matter how loose those terms may be to begin with. It was getting late anyways, he reasoned with himself.

"What about the lifts? That's the important part, right?" Ian questioned, eyes pleading like he would die without this one skill being taught to him by his oh-so-unprofessional instructor.

Mickey sighed. Ya know what? Fuck it.

Mickey sauntered over to Ian, pressed his back to Ian's front, and grabbed one of Ian's massive hands and placed it on his own waist.

Ian gave an experimental squeeze and Mickey softened in his grip.

Ridiculous.

"We're not doing the lift are we?" Ian murmured breathily, hot air making the hairs on the back of Mickey's neck tingle.

"What do you think, Firecrotch?" Mickey pushed his weight back into Ian's chest, which would be the second mistake of the day.

Ian toppled over backwards, landing with a painful sounding thud and sending Mickey down on top of him before he rolled off the the side with a groan.

Ian started laughing and Mickey was concerned. Was this idiot actually fucking concussed this time? He wasn't sure how he would explain this to his insurance company.

Mickey straddled Ian's lap, gently slapping his face, "Are you good, man? Alive?"

"Never better." Ian was still smiling like an absolute goof.

Mickey raised an eyebrow in concern.

"Seriously, I just can't play things cool," Ian raised his hips to grind against Mickey's ass, "Obviously."

"You're an idiot," Mickey rolled his eyes, and all Ian could do was grin and reach up towards Mickey's neck, pulling his down until their lips almost touched, sharing breaths and excitement.

"Maybe," another breath, "But I still got you to fall for me."

It was Mickey's turn to laugh, more of a raspy exhale than anything. His "fuck you" was almost lost between them as they fell together at last.

(side note: this was the lift that they were going to do, so i feel like the hand on the waist makes sense -- gotta have a visual lmao)

[summerwritesfics]

🎧Song Inspired Shorts - Teeth

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 2444 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Canon Divergence, Black Dragon Kuai Liang AU, Death match, Sexual tension, Flirting, Love/Hate relationship, Murder, Graphic description of death, Kano has 0 sense of personal space, Implied sex, Kuai is angry and horny and it’s a bad combo for him, He’s been through some shit Song: Teeth - 5 Seconds Of Summer

Song Inspired Shorts Masterlist

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet, Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth, Late night devil, put your hands on me, And never, never, never ever let go, Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet, Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth, Late night devil, put your hands on me, And never, never, never ever let go

Hanzo slipped through the crowd that was eagerly surrounding the cage. He had no interest in joining them. Not that he wasn't partially here to watch the action, but he had the luxury to not mingle with the majority. That said, the man he would be primarily dealing wasn't really any better, but at least Hanzo could keep his distance.

He made it to the stairs to the VIP area, the two Black Dragon goons guarding it barely glanced at him before they parted. He was a regular enough figure that they knew who he was without needing confirmation. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement before quickly making his way up the stairs. The VIP area was empty, save for a single man he recognised leaning against the railing.

"Ah, Hasashi, you're here," Kabal greeted, waving Hanzo over and picking out a beer from a cooler.

"Quan Chi sends his regards," Hanzo replied, holding his hands out to catch the beer as Kabal threw it to him. "Where's Kano?"

"Eh, he's having a talk with someone before the fights start," Kabal explained, as Hanzo took a sip of his beer. "Since you were last here we've had a new guy. Kano's taken a shine to him. He'll be fighting in the ring tonight."

Hanzo hummed, he cared little for Black Dragon politics, he was just here to give Kano a laundry list of jobs from Quan Chi. The fights were a little bonus Hanzo got to watch sometimes.

The crowd started cheering as he watched someone being dragged out to fight in the ring. Clearly they were someone who pissed Kano off, which meant the aim was to have him killed. He watched as the man was locked in the cage, looking around at the jeering crowd in terror. He's not going to last five minutes.

"Ay, Hanzo you made it!" Hanzo almost jumped at the voice behind him, turning around just in time to see Kano approaching. The Black Dragon's leader slapped his back, and Hanzo had to bite back his disapproval at being touched. "Take it Quan Chi's got more bullshit for me to do, huh?"

"He will pay you well," Hanzo claimed, causing Kano to laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, he always does." Kano shrugged, "it's no bother anyway, our new little spitfire is a marvel, he'll have no problems taking care of shit. Most efficient fucking flunky I've had in years."

"Shouldn't that be spitice?" Kabal commented despite looking like he wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"What do you mean?" Hanzo questioned, it was a strange thing to say. Kano just smirked and pointed towards the ring.

As Hanzo turned to back to the action, he saw the second fighter being brought into the ring. Unlike the other guy, he looked like he meant business. From this vantage point, Hanzo could make out his short black hair, a large scar over his one eye, and was wearing very form fitting workout gear. His eyes were solely on the man in front of him, like a predator staring down his prey.

As soon as the announcer called for the match to begin, the fighter launched forward, a flash of blue from his hand that made Hanzo stop breathing. Ice. This strange man was using ice. Sub Zero? But he quickly eliminated that thought. First, Sub Zero was long dead by Hanzo's own hand. Second, this Cryomancer had a different fighting style, less refined, his use of his ice was more defensive than offensive and in generally he just felt more feral than Sub Zero ever was.

"Where the hell did you find this guy?" Hanzo asked as he watched in awe as the Cryomancer seemed to take great pleasure in the hits he was making. He could have ended the fight as soon as it begun, but it seemed he was intent on playing with his victim and putting on a show.

"Fantastic, ain't he?" Kano beamed, clearly very proud of this man. "Name's Kuai Liang. He's former Lin Kuei." Hanzo tried to be as quiet with the breath he took as he could. He wasn't Sub Zero, his name had been Bi-Han, but it was likely that there was some connection between them. "I dunno, something went down, Lin Kuei didn't want him anymore so I took him off their hands."

Hanzo wasn't sure what that meant but decided he likely didn't want to know. It seemed Kuai Liang had finally grown bored of messing with his opponent, incasing the mans lower half in ice, while creating an axe. Even Hanzo flinched away as it was brought down on the mans head.

The crowd cheered at the display in front of them, as two Black Dragon goons walked in to pull the corpse from the ring. Soon another fighter was pushed in to replace the last, and Kuai Liang attacked with the same ferocity. It was mesmerising, in a fucked up way, watching this man tear through each opponent put before him.

"Whatcha' think of him?" Kano asked after about the 5th round, seemingly the final one too seeing as Kuai Liang left the ring after he'd completely gutted his opposition.

"He's... something," Hanzo said, really unsure what word he could really use to describe what he just witnessed. Even for a former Lin Kuei, his actions were brutal. Hell, Sub Zero somewhat paled in comparison. At least Sub Zero was more interested in finishing the job quickly rather than prolonging his opponents suffering.

As a new fight began in the ring, Hanzo heard someone coming up the steps. Standing at the top step was Kuai Liang, having not even bothered to clean himself of the blood and visceral that covered him. He eyed Hanzo wearily, before making his way over to Kano.

"There's my wolf in sheep's clothing," Kano announced with a grin, wrapping an arm around Kuai's shoulders and then grabbing his chin and squeezing with his other hand. "I mean look at this face! Can you believe such a cute thing could be so vicious?"

It was clear close up that Kuai was actually fairly young. Mid-twenties if Hanzo had to guess. He looked extremely uncomfortable with Kano having his hands on him. Hanzo couldn't blame him.

"Kano, leave the poor guy alone," Kabal ordered, and Kano finally released the disgruntled Cryomancer. "Kuai, meet Hanzo Hasashi," Kabal introduced, and Hanzo saw Kuai's posture stiffen immediately. He knows who I am. Of course the ex-Lin Kuei would know who he was. "Hanzo, this is Kuai Liang."

"A pleasure," Hanzo replied, voice silky smooth and masking any nerves he felt about the way Kuai was staring him down.

"Likewise," Kuai grumbled, finally loosening up, but crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Boss," a voice called from over by the stairs, one of Kano's goons stood there, "we got a problem."

Kano grumbled before gesturing at Kabal "We'd better go check this out." He turned to Kuai, "think you can entertain our guest for a while?" Kuai gave a blank look before nodding. "Good boy." Kano ruffled Kuai's hair, causing the shorter man to huff. He turned his attention to Hanzo before adding "this shouldn't take long."

"I understand," Hanzo acknowledged, watching as the two Black Dragon bosses left.

Silence stretched between Hanzo and Kuai. Kuai's stare was blank, almost like he was looking completely through Hanzo rather than at him.

Hanzo cleared his throat as he asked, "you know who I am?"

"I do," Kuai confirmed, flexing his hands slightly. "Do you know me?"

"I know you're ex-Lin Kuei," he confirmed, not wanting to voice his suspicions about Kuai being related in some way to Sub Zero just yet.

Kuai hummed, tearing his gaze away from Hanzo to instead inspect his nails. "Well, my loyalties no longer lie with them." Kuai barely even acknowledged the blood all over his hands, "I am Black Dragon now."

"Very well," Hanzo muttered, unsure what else he could say. He just had to hope his new found respect for the Black Dragon outweighed years of ingrained hatred for the Shirai Ryu.

"And I suppose," Kuai slowly started as he went to lean against the railing and looking Hanzo up and down. "For a Shirai Ryu wretch, you're quite handsome."

Hanzo's brain went into overdrive as it tried to compute what had just been said to him. The dark smirk on Kuai's face told him that was exactly the reaction he'd been hoping for.

"Been a while since someone told you that, hm?" Kuai purred, slowly approaching Hanzo, and reaching his hand forward. The blood had started to dry, and Hanzo hated to admit it wasn't as much of a turn off as it should have been. He grabbed Hanzo's shirt in his hands before pulling Hanzo close and whispering in his ear, "so handsome I might just overlook the fact you killed my brother."

Oh. Fuck.

Hanzo tried to jump back but Kuai's grip on him was iron. He felt something cold press against his neck, realising too late it was a knife formed of ice.

"Sub Zero was your brother," Hanzo stated. I'm going to die, he is going to kill me.

"His name was Bi-Han," Kuai hissed, releasing his grip on Hanzo's shirt and reaching back for his pony tail instead. Hanzo yelped as the cryomancer gave a hard yank on his hair. "You are lucky Kano needs you alive." Kuai made a snarling sound, tracing the knife along Hanzo's jugular. "And I suppose your handsome face is no use to me if you're dead."

"Really struggling to grasp if you want to kill or fuck me," Hanzo commented, shuddering at the coldness of the knife. "I'd prefer the latter, personally."

To his relief, Kuai actually laughed at that, finally releasing his grip and pulling the knife away. "Yes, I think I'd prefer that too." He turned away twirling the knife between his fingers. "Killing really isn't all that enjoyable."

That statement and Kuai's actions didn't seem to align. "Could have fooled me, the way you took down your opponents in the ring."

Kuai chuckled again, this time however it was far more bitter. "The one thing I learnt from the Lin Kuei. How to pretend to enjoy heinous shit."

It didn't sound like a lie, but Hanzo was still hesitant to believe it. Because on one hand if he was pretending to enjoy it, he was very convincing. And on the other hand? Well, he'd just admitted to being proficient at lying. Who knew what Kuai Liang really thought? Hanzo supposed as long as right now he didn't want to kill him, that was something.

Kuai pushed himself against Hanzo, an action that took Hanzo off guard. He hadn't noticed Kuai approach him again, either he hadn't paid enough attention or Kuai was alarmingly good at sneaking up on people. Still Kuai's hands were at his biceps, feeling at the muscle there, clearly enamoured by them. Hanzo risked reaching a hand forward, placing it of Kuai's hip. When the cryomancer didn't react badly, Hanzo decided to get a bit bolder, reaching around to grope at his ass instead. Kuai grunted, but otherwise did not object.

"We interrupin' something?"

Kano's booming voice caused Hanzo to jump, but it was nothing compared to Kuai's reaction. The cryomancer pushed Hanzo away from him with such force Hanzo found himself stumbling. Seconds later, he landed on the floor with a thud, tangled in his own limbs. He managed to untangle himself enough to push himself up. Kuai was standing with a sour look on his face, arms tightly crossed in front of him. His cheeks were bright red.

Kano's booming laugh filled his ears as he approached them, Kabal beside him looking equally as amused.

"Sorry to barge in on you lovebirds," Kano boomed sarcastically, slapping Kuai on the back, "but I have a job for little Tundra here and it can't wait."

Kuai's eye twitched, but he didn't voice whatever it was that upset him. He turned as if to follow Kano but paused. He spared Hanzo a long glance, before clearing his throat.

"My room is the forth from the main corridor. 1am. Be there." Hanzo's eyes widened at the demand as Kuai once looked away. His hand clenched slightly, before he added in a mutter "Bring condoms."

Before Hanzo could react or even reply, Kuai was storming off with Kano to do whatever it was that needed to be done. His mind was still suffering from whiplash of the entire event. A hand came into his vision, Kabal holding it out for him to take. He took the offered hand, Kabal all but hauling him to his feet.

"Thanks," Hanzo said, brushing down his outfit. He was unharmed, if a little embarrassed. He thought back to what had just been said, "just to make sure I didn't imagine that, he did just invite me to his room to fuck him right?"

"That's what it sounded like to me," Kabal confirmed with a chuckle. "Lucky, apparently he's a hell of a lay."

"Hm, not sure lucky is the word I'd use, given I suspect he's seconds away from killing me at any given moment." Kabal gave him a puzzled look. "His brother was a Lin Kuei called Sub Zero... Who I killed."

"Ah. Shit." Kabal rubbed the back of his head. "He does look pretty, but his heart definitely has teeth."

Yeah, no shit. He thought about the anger in Kuai's voice, the knife against his throat... Kuai stating he didn't actually like killing. The way he admired Hanzo's muscles. Kuai was equal parts danger and sweetness, and Hanzo couldn't deny there was something alluring about that.

"Well, at least if he pulls a preying mantis on me, I get to die having sex," Hanzo commented with a shurg, trying to play it all off.

"Man, you're as fucked up as he is," Kabal muttered. He pursed his lips and nodded slightly, "kinda perfect for each other really."

We kind of are. Hanzo had no idea was awaiting him in that room. But he looked forward to finding out.

[elzetastuff]

New Feelings Blossoming

*in the middle of a battle against fatui in a domain*

*Team composed by Aether, Diluc, Fischl and Bennett*

Bennett: "I'm going in! *Activating his ultimate on the ground*

Diluc approaches to the buff circle and charges his ultimate

D: “Burn!!!”

A giant pyro eagle comes from Dilucs sword, hitting the fatui soldiers and damaging most of  them, while the rest of the soldiers survive with just a little bit of life left.

Aether: *using his anemo ability* “Wind Blade!”

From the palm of his hand, the traveler summoned a vortex that damaged the rest of the enemies and threw them in the air, finally knocking them up and clearing the room.

Aether: “Huh, it wasn't a bad combo after all”

Bennett: “Yes! We did it!”

Diluc: “Don't chant victory yet, kid. they're still coming”

Portals appear in front of the party as moew fatui soldiers arrived, ready to stop and defeat the adventurers

Bennett: “What? A second round so soon?”

Fischl: “Foolish ignorants who dare to combat with the prinzessin der verurteilung only shall find despair and failure in their future!”

Aether: *sighs and grabs his sword* “Lets keep going!”

The team keeps fighting together as the fatui used their weapons against them

F: “Oz! Reveal thyself!” 

O: “As you wish, Mein Fräulein”

Oz appears and starts to attack the soldiers with electro damage. with Diluc’s sword and Bennett’s buff power, the Cryo and Hydro soldiers got defeated fast

Suddenly, a new portal emerged from behind the team. and a Electro Fatui soldier appeared with his hammer in hand, ready to smash the adventurers

A: “Watch out!”

The Fatui soldier lifted his hammer and attacked in the direction of Fischl. The girl was frozen in place as the Soldier jumped at her direction. but before the hammer could hit her, someone yelled her name

Bennett: “Fischl!”

The boy ran to her direction and pushed her out of the way. The hammer hit against the solid floor as the fatui soldier growled in anger

“Stupid kids, stop getting in our way!”

D: “You and your organization should be the onea to get out of our way”  Diluc says with an angered tone as he prepared himself to launch his ultimate ability again

Aether: “Let's do it at the same time!”

“As if you-!!!”

D/A: “Time for… Retribution!/ Disappear!” 

A giant tornado appears and swallows the electro soldier and the rest of the fatui remaining, damaging and knocking them up along with the pyro damage

Once the room was cleared up again. Diluc sighs and crossed his arms

D: “Guess those were the last ones, for now at least”

A: “Hey guys, are you guys oka- uhhh”

Bennet groans and shakes his head “Ow, I think I hit my head… wait, where’s Fischl-!”

Bennett’s eyes widen as he notices Fischl, the girl that he just pushed away, laying below him with a beet red face. 

F: “C-Care to move already?”

It took Bennett a few seconds before realizing the compromising position they were in now “Gah! I’m sorry!” quickly standing and giving the girl some personal space “I swear it was not my intention to-”

F: “T-Theres no necessity to apologize, companion. I understand the reasons of your actions and Im grateful in these timea of war and disgrace”

Despite saying those words. Fischl’s face was still red and looking away from Bennett and the rest of the team

B: “Uhm, I think I did not understand much about you said..” in that moment, Oz chuckled as he flied to the boys direction

O: “Do not worry, sir Bennett. Mein Fraulein is only thanking you for saving her, that’s all”

B: “Oh, well, it was nothing, as long as everyone is safe and well”

Diluc sighs and shakes his head “I'm sorry if I ruin this moment, but we should keep going before more fatui arrive and makes things worse”

Aether: “Sir Diluc is right. Let's keep moving and finish the mission as soon as possible”

The two walked in direction to the exit as Bennett sighed and looked at the girl sitting on the floor

B: “Need some help?”

Fischl looked up as the boy offered her a hand, and she scoffed

F: “Thanks, plebeian companion, but I, Fischl, can stand up on her two feet without the aid of- ouch!”

She hissed in pain before she could get up. 

B: “Eh, are you okay?”

Oz approached the girl “Mein fraulein, what's wrong, can you get up?”

F: “My foot… it hurts..”

B: “Oh, you must have gotten a twist on your ankle. Don't worry, it's not something too big, but still, we should go back to Mondstadt so they can see your knee”

O: “It looks like sir bennett knows a lot about this kind of injuries”

B: “Oh well, I get hurt everyday, I'm just used to it, you know”, He shrugs as he offers his hand again, “You may still need help to get back to the city. Don't worry, I can help you with that” 

Fischl mutters something before sighing and grabbing his hand “Fine. I guess I can let you, oh cursed companion, to help this princess in her moments of aid. I will allow you to get close but not too much, so the darkness of my spirit doesnt eat your soul and fill the void of my heart”

Oz:  “Mein Fraulein says she's thankful again for your help, but asks you to not touch her too much”

B: “Eh? Well I wasn't thinking about doing anything weird...”, Fischl grunts in pain as he helps her stand up, then he puts her arm over his shoulder “See? you can use me as support until we go back to Mondstadt”  

Fisch sighs and blushes at Bennett’s kind smile “I suppose...”

Oz: “Don't worry, Mein Fraulein. Once were back and you're healed with the healing magic of the nuns, we will go back to our adventure”

F: “I do not wish to be healed by the magic of those pagans who make rituals for- eep!”

B: “Hey, don't try to walk so fast, you're going to lose your balance like that” 

Bennett softly grabs Fischl’s waist  as she gasps “See? try to keep the pace with me, I promise I will walk slow”

F: “D-Don't grab my waist like that!”

B: “Like how? Im just helping you to balance so you don't fall”

O: *chuckles* “Looks like Mein Fraulein is getting a little bit flustered at this situation”

F: “O-Oz!”

B: *Oblivious and confused*

Much later, the team exited the domain and arrived at the city of Mondstadt. The others asked what happened to Fischl, and Bennett told them what happened with her ankle ane that they shouldnt worry.

While Diluc had to go back to the winery and Aether had a new important quest to do. Bennett helped Fischl to walk and enter the cathedral.

B: “Hello? Hey, it's me again!”

Seconds after announcing his entrance, a known nun appeared from another door

“Oh Bennett? So soon already? What happened to you no- Oh!”

B: “Hey Barbara” *smiles* “I'm sorry to bother you again, it's just that we were on a mission and Fischl twisted her ankle. Can you help her?”

Fischl scoffed “I don't have any business with- ow!”

Barbara: “Oh, I see now. Don't worry, Im sure my hydro vision will heal you in no time, Fischl, please take a seat”

B: “This way” , Bennett helped the princess to sit on one of the benches as Barbara quickly approached 

Fischl pouted and crossed her arms as Barbara touched her leg

B: “This won't take much, please don't be scared if you feel a cold sensation in you leg”

F: “Me? Scared? the cold sensation of healing wont do anything to turn me away from my destiny! Not even the dread cold of death, nor the sensation of despair and the sound of desperation of hundreds of agonizing mortal lives can-”

B: “And, ready! try to stand up this time, but don't try to overwork yourself too hard this time”

Fischl’s eyes widened a bit before she started to stand up. “The pain disappeared...” she mumbles as she started to walk

Oz: “How can we repay for your healing services, madame?”

B: “Oh? Oh, don't worry about paying me. I'm always happy to help everyone who enters this cathedral. If I started to charge mora for my services, I don't know how I would feel! No, as long as you're safe and happy, it will be more than enough”

Oz: “Those are incredible words to hear, madame. Truly you're one of the most humble and kind persons we could ever meet”

Fischl huffes and crosses her arms “Very well. I thank you once again for your services, dear nun. but I, the Prinzessin Der Verurteilung, still has a lot of jobs in this mortal realm and its remaining hours until the darkness swallows the existence of this word”

O: “We should ask Katheryne if she still has more quests for the day. thanks once again”

Bennett: “Glad I could help too”

Fischl: “Huh? Now wait there, young man. I still have some words to talk to you”

Bennett: “Eh? what happened now?”

Fischl approached with a frown to Bennett and grabbed his arm as she dragged him to a place away from the nun and the crow. Once they were far away, she let his arm go and glared at him.

F: “For all the things that happened today, and for the intrusion of the personal space of the Prinzessin, you would have been arrested and fusilated in my world…. *sigh* but since we’re not in my world, and for your sudden help, and your good intentions, I think you deserve a small reward for the time being…”

B: “Reward? ¡Oh no! It's not necessary, miss Fischl I don't need- !!!”

Bennett’s words died on his throat as he freezed. the touch of soft lips touched his cheek for a few mere seconds before she pulled out.

The two blushed hard as Bennett looked at her, shocked and not believing what happened

Fischl covered her red tomato face as she looked away “S-So, anyway… Goodbye!”

Fischl ran away as she passed through Barbara and Oz

O: “Miss Fischl! What did Miss Barbara tell you about running?”

F: “Let's go already Oz!” she yelled as she ran to the door

O: *sighs* “Pardon me for leaving so soon, Miss Barbara, I hope we can meet again in a better time”

Barbara: *giggles* “It's alright, remember that the cathedral of Mondstadt is always open for travelers and adventurers. So don't be afraid of coming back, even if it's just for just talking”

Oz: “I will remember that, thanks”

Oz quickly flies away before Fischl could close the door and run away. His questions about why she looks so red and why she was running will be answered once she calms down

Barbara smiled before looking back at Bennett, who was still frozen and touching his cheek

Barbara: “Bennett? are you feeling alright”

B: “... did a girl just kissed me...?”

Barbara: “What? Bennett are you- Eep!”

Suddenly, the boy fainted on the floor as his brain couldn't process what just happened earlier.

Barbara: *sighs* “Guess I should carry him to a bed until he wakes up..:”

Since ever that day, the relationship between the princess Fischl and the unfortunate adventurer Bennett changed, as new feelings would blossom in the near future.

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Babylonia Section 21~Section 22(END)

Final day and final post of this Singularity before the impending doom at Solomon Singularity. Hope your Servants and sanity are ready because that’s some insane fight to be happened soon!

Section 21

At Uruk... The end of the world at last with Gilgamesh and 8 soldiers being the sole survivor against Tiamat... Time to destroy the demonic beast and Lahmus before we made way to find Gilgamesh!

Reaching to Gilgamesh at last... The end of the world in his eyes as he expected with Tiamat’s arrival getting closer... Our Chaldean Embassy swallowed in flames and in the Chaos Tide... Whether Tiamat hates humanity or not it’s another story if she even has a conscience in the first place after becoming Beast II

Arriving in Uruk at last... While Ishtar takes on Tiamat via the sky, we stand by with Gilgamesh against her on the ground. Yeah yeah you Tsundere king, we’re sticking with each other until the end of the Singularity!

Dingirs fired from the city wall all launched at Tiamat under Gilgamesh command by his own magical energy! He’s definitely not a half god without a reason--! GUDAS WATCH OUT THAT LIGHT!!!

.............. Gilgamesh... You..... You took the hit from Tiamat... Into your heart..... GOD DAMN IT, YOU’RE NOT MONTY PYTHON! THAT’S NOT JUST A MORTAL WOUND, THAT’S GOING TO KILL YOU DUMBASS!

Tch as Gilgamesh keeps on going... 3 more minutes before Tiamat arrives at where we are....! After we got knocked by the 8k Lahmus...  Before Ishtar could help us... That’s...!! KINGU!!!

Looks like Gilgamesh’s words finally reached his heart... Even if it’s a grail operating it... And... Enkidu... They came back... Even if it’s too far to reach, their words of wanting to talk to Gil will definitely reach! Kingu, Enkidu! It’s time to finish off Tiamat!!

As Kingu turned into the Chains of Heavens... We wake up to find Tiamat is being restrained by Kingu!! WHAT?! The Chain of Heavens broke!! And Eresh?!

Underworld is finally right below us. Ishtar and Gilgamesh discuss one last time about Enkidu’s passing before and now. Ishtar readies to launch a big blast for a big hole... One last talk with Gilgamesh and... KING GILGAMESH!!! THIS WAY--!!

KING GILGAMEEEEEESSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Falling into the underworld after that abrupt parting... Eresh gives us her powers to be able to deal in the underworld. Looks like Eresh’s security system at intruder is causing great pain to Tiamat thanks to Ishtar forcing her down inside

To fight on for King Gilgamesh... Eresh began her attack against Tiamat... Wait this blackness... THE CHAOS TIDE IS RETURNING BUT EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE?!!

Because of that fall... Beast II finally turns to her true form...! And Jaguar Warrior! So she turned out fine but... It’s now or never to defeat her-- Flowers... This voice, this voice of a fucking horny wizard... MERLIN!!!

So... Merlin you’re still alive? Tiamat didn’t kill you at all? You broke out of your prison for once to help us?! Okay forget happy reunion, seems like Merlin brought... Wait we brought him to repay his gratitude? But who--?!

That old man Ziusu-dra! No... KING HASSAN!!! With his NP... At the price of sacrificing his Grand title... Hassan granted death onto Tiamat! We can kill her now! As expected of Da Vinci-chan! Since we damaged her brain but recovered... Everything is to face her in the face!

With Merlin’s return... The buff is something against that fucking disgusting Chaos Tide. But still hurt a like bitch when they crit!

One wave down, next wave towards her head! Direct offsprings with class of Beast, King Hassan given us the temporary contract... Time for insta-kill on those things!!

I retried this because RNG luck and irritating taunt from the Lahmus are pissing me off :/

8 insta-death later, we’re finally at the head! As Romani said, time is running out with Tiamat reaching the surface soon in 300m.... Time for the first round against her!!

I’m frankly wondering if double Mash setup works here... Because this isn’t Gorgon with Chaos Tide bleeding the Servant’s life.. And additional curse buff that will outheal Merlin’s buff

Since NPC Merlin is here... Might as well have Ozzy being buff by him in Hero’s creation to kill her quickly... Considering he and Xuangzang are my current ST Buster NP

Oh come on! How the hell is Tiamat still standing?! Merlin you idiot, now you got kicked out by her! And... This..... No way..... KING GILGAMESH?!!!?!?! He’s back but in his Archer class?!

With Gilgamesh’s arrival... TIME TO FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Okay, trying on double Mash.. Which is again hilarious because it worked for a while... Yeah until she removes them, so it’s a bit headache with her, along with the curse buff that stack

Ozzy and Herc-chan are main DPS with the former trying to dish out as damage as possible against her before the latter kicks in.

Martha for the buff and debuff remover... MVP actually since it’s ashamed I can’t rushed her skills finished to deal for Tiamat. But definitely helped a lot in dealing with her annoying debuffs

At last dealing a critical damage, Beast II finally destroyed! The grail from her finally retrieved at last!

Section 22

The final chapter arrived with us returning back to the surface. Singularity is repairing itself once Tiamat is gone. The grail in our hands thanks to Merlin getting his ass back to our side! And... Nope, we’re not helping you. It’s your fault in destroying Quetz’s divinity, Merlin!

Oh right, Quetz came back but how?! Ah, seems like Jaguar Warrior saved her! Oh... Guess Quetz and Jaguar Warrior are heading back to the Throne of Heroes first

Ishtar is alright too and looks like she’s staying in Uruk for a long while, hence her limited summoning. Eresh... For helping to destroy Tiamat... She’s fading... And disappeared.... Or to rest from what Ishtar said...

GILGAMESH!? YOU TURNED BACK TO YOUR NORMAL STUPID CASTER SELF! WAIT YOU’RE... He’s going off too?! And... For a souvenier... That’s why we got 2 Holy Grails this time! Along with food! Leaving to the Throne of Heroes to be summoned... He will spook again one way or another.

And we’re heading back to our own ways as we departed with bidding good bye to Merlin! So Merlin is a big fan of ours huh... I’m sure we’ll meet everyone again!

At home at last, WHAT?! Chaldeas turned red again?! Seems like King Solomon is giving an invitation to us to end things once and for all! To be continued until Solomon Singularity!

I’ll apologize for the observations since majority is already done up under the JP side. So I’m doing the ones which are the notable main bosses for this fight

Observations:

Quetzalcoatl:

The impossible: If you have two Herc-chan with you (one of them being borrowed), just bring more taunters and healers

The only possible option: To deal with her effectively only option is the Berserker class which is Lancelot and Herc-chan, but preferred the latter. Summer Servants worked but again, it depends on your preference. The only thing with those above as your main DPS, you’ll seriously want to have taunters especially you don’t know who her NP will hit. Also Herc-chan wise, at this point find the one with his Bond CE in ever the case he got killed repeatedly. Or other wise, just make sure he’s alive long enough to kill Quetz

Ereshkigal:

............. I learned my lesson in this fight a little. Never try to rely too much on your NP to deal with her

Anyway... If you’re having FFF rank luck for this fight, not being able to use NP through the whole fight. Have her to be crit rill death by your Sabers

Bring Servants who generates a good amount stars, Main DPS Saber that absorb good amount stars and crit hard, support that helps buffing damage/crit damage to kill her

Or otherwise, bring a debuff remover if you’d like to be able to use both NP and skill

Gorgon:

Laser shooting fest is amusing with double Mash + main DPS ST NP Servant

Any main DPS will do depend if you want to hit hard, get more stars to crit or to be able to spam more NP often.

I went with the last to be compatible for Mash to spam her NP often. So if you want double Mash way or there... Bring a good arts team like Robin, Medea, Chloe, George (unless you’re going for Sieg-George combo)

Otherwise, any team will do. Only problem is her stun debuff on your Servant when it happens, so it delays one turn to boost that said Servant NP or use their skills/NP

Another to watch out is her curse debuff after using her NP. I went with double Mash, and time is really ticking on me because the curse she dealt is really killing their HP each turn

Trait dealing there’s Scathach, Karna & Arjuna (for divine), Jack & Carmilla (for female) and the infamous King of Heroes

CEs not much of a comment but if you want to be not stun and curse... Debuff immunity CE?

Otherwise, CE that boosts damage should do

Kingu:

Your RNG luck comes into play a little but not as bad as Eresh, you’ll never know when he’s going to charge his NP full on the same or next turn

DEFINITELY DON’T BRING DIVINE SERVANTS AS THIS IS ENKIDU AND THEIR NP COMING AFTER THEM

Once again, taunters are needed if you don’t him to fire his NP at your main DPS/support

Trait wise... Nightingale as Enkidu’s body is still humanoid and at your own risk, AUO himself... Definitely don’t take the latter

I haven’t see it work but if Zouken’s CE in sealing his NP will helped delayed from it firing. But I’m not sure if it works because his permanent buff in charging NP randomly is there

Invincibility more recommended instead of evasion since he has a skill that removes evasion buff

Anything else, bring a good ST NP Servant for DPS and support with taunters/healers... Or even stallers to keep him at bay. But for stalling team, Gorgon Sister combo definitely don’t work.

Ushiwakamaru clones:

I’ll touch more on the ones which she’s neutral damage to all. Her Berserker-class version bring good AOE NP Servant will do

Considering her sole gimmick is to create copies of herself... Kill the original before more are being created

For this bring AOE NP... One fitting Servant for biggest damage by far again, AUO. Weak to Enuma Elish regardless corrupted or not

Or otherwise, bring your best AOE NP Servant...

With a really good healer in particular, because Chaos Tide against that class will kill you faster than you know it

Taunters for avoiding ST NP from her onto your main DPS Servant

Tiamat:

Martha my fucking saint saves my ass in most of these fight!

Practically debuffing her and removing those debuff from Tiamat is vital because she just keep stacking that curse debuff

There’s also her stun and NP seal that’s targeted onto Man-trait & Star-Attribute Servants... That kind of explained why Jeanne gets NP seal most of the time OTL

Double Mash works somewhat when she doesn’t remove your buffs and stack those fucking curse

Considering her laser and chaos tide charge your NP quickly.. It’s not that difficult to do spamming when needed

Skill seal definitely vital with Servant like David’s NP to stop Tiamat from buffing herself

Debuff immunity needed for the above debuff or even her NP when she buff block debuff on your whole front-line team

If you don’t have Angra Mainyu with his Bond CE in your friend list to deal bigger damage, balance between 3 DPS and 3 supports? Or at least estimated the amount of damage 1 main DPS Servant does before dying out.

Now that this is over... While grinding for SQs... Time for 3 to 4 days break from NA before the biggest hell right before Christmas!

[pattie-remembers]

Famous muse Pattie Boyd says she neglected herself in her rock star marriages

10 April 2018 — 10:21am

If you remember the '60s, you weren't there: so it is said of that explosive decade of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll when girls sashayed down the Kings Road in tiny skirts and Biba boots, boys wore ruffled shirts over tight velvet trousers and London was the epicentre of cool.

Oblivion came with the territory: Eric Clapton was supposed to have slept with more than 1000 women but as he told me in an interview for Fairfax Media, "I wouldn't know, I was in a blackout for quite a few of them".

George Harrison and wife Pattie Boyd.

Photo: Keystone Pictures USA / Alamy Stock Photo

Pattie Boyd was both muse and wife to Clapton, to George Harrison before him and no stranger to drug and booze-fuelled partying. But there was little danger of failing memory for her. She kept a record of the wild years – portraits and reportage style snaps taken with a Polaroid and, later, on a Hasselblad.

As fans and paparazzi clamoured at the door, Boyd had the inside track, hanging out with The Beatles and friends, at home with George, on tour with Eric. "I took endless photos," she says. "It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare."

Pattie Boyd and her then husband George Harrison in England in 1968.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

We are talking in her Kensington flat ahead of an exhibition of her photographs and a series of speaking engagements in Australia in May. I'd spent several minutes on the rather grand doorstep, repeatedly ringing the bell and wondering if I'd got the wrong address. Perhaps she'd been having a nap; she is 74 after all and it is that snoozy, post-lunch time of day when I often feel like one myself. She does seem quite dreamy, half-heartedly remonstrating with a friendly Irish terrier called Freddie who inspects me thoroughly before jumping onto a large pouffe, not quite as pristine white as the matching sofas. "He's allowed on that one," she says.

Boyd is wearing skinny jeans on her long, slim legs and a deep blue mohair jumper; a fall of blonde hair frames what is still recognisably the face that launched, not a thousand ships, but three of the greatest love songs of the 20th century.

George Harrison wrote Something in the first flush of his youthful marriage to Boyd; the soaring guitar chords of Layla expressed Clapton's yearning obsession with his friend's wife. Then, when he had won her, he wrote Wonderful Tonight – and who hasn't danced dreamily to that, wrapped in a lover's arms?

There is a photograph of a 19-year-old Boyd in the flat: blonde fringe, huge blue mascara'd eyes and a tiny Union Jack stuck on the end of her nose. It is from a weighty coffee table book, Birds of Britain, containing portraits of London's posh totty – society girls who roamed the bars and vintage clothes stalls of Chelsea. Boyd's face is on the cover.

George Harrison, 1968

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She was a model then, on the run from her dysfunctional family, broke and living on Birds Eye chicken pies in a shared flat. "You had to go round the photographers persuading them to use you for shoots," she says. "Norman Parkinson said, 'Come back when you've learned to do your hair.' It was all DIY hair and make up back then."

Did photographers hit on her? "Well some might try it on but you didn't submit and say, 'Oh must I?' You'd get out of there and warn the others." So it wasn't a #MeToo scene? "No! I don't know why these women don't just say, 'F--k off, I'm not having a meeting with you in your dressing gown with nothing on underneath.'" Is she a feminist? "Well not in the old 'hate men' way, but I don't like women being treated badly. I think the young generation – what are they called, snowflakes? – don't take responsibility for themselves."

George Harrison and Eric Clapton in England in 1976.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She met George Harrison on the set of A Hard Day's Night – she played a schoolgirl – and they married when she was 21. They moved into Friar Park, a gothic pile in Hampshire where the Beatles came to record, friends drove from London to stay and she threw herself into decorating, cooking and entertaining. She was, she says, blissfully in love but often lonely: wives and girlfriends were not allowed on tour and Harrison was frequently absent. After the Beatles had discovered the Maharishi Yogi and they all went to India to learn meditation, Harrison returned gripped by eastern mysticism. "He chanted a lot," she recalls, "it's difficult to talk to someone who's chanting."

He had also discovered that he was attractive to women: "He was famous, good-looking, had tonnes of money and flash cars – what a combo. Girls were offering themselves everywhere and he loved it. To come home to old wifey must have been a bit dull."

I took endless photos. It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare.

Does she think all men would be like that if they could? "Yes I do," she says firmly. What constrains them? She shrugs: "Society, women, family?"

Eric Clapton had been a frequent visitor to Friar Park, laying siege to Boyd and, famously, playing a guitar "duel" with Harrison in the kitchen: she was the putative prize. "It was John Hurt [the actor] who described it as a duel," she says, "and he was so on the button. I sensed it but I hadn't formulated it."

She was attracted to Clapton, by then a rock deity – the legend "Clapton is God" was spray-painted on city walls – but determined to stay in her marriage. Her parents had split up when she was 10, her stepfather was a cruel and unusual man who tyrannised the family and left her mother for another woman: "As a child I always thought I would do anything to avoid divorce."

By the time she left Harrison – "He didn't want us to be together, it was a life of rejection" – Clapton had made good on his threat to take heroin if he couldn't have her. It would be four years before they got together.

Propped on an easel beside the window of Boyd's flat is a rather beautiful black and white photograph of John Lennon. Did she take it? "No, I bought it." Wasn't he the most interesting of the four? "He was, yes, he was. He was quite volatile, you never knew what he would say next. He was a pretty sexy guy actually." Did they have a fling? "No!" she exclaims. I explain I'd seen it suggested somewhere in a newspaper article. "How cheeky," she says comfortably. Later, reading her autobiography published in 2007, I find another reference to the rumoured liaison. True or not, I don't think she minds the idea.

Boyd and Clapton married in 1979: "I was madly passionate about him," she says. "We lived at Hurtwood Edge [Clapton's home for the past 50 years], I was in my 30s and ready to have babies; I used to wander round the house thinking, this will be the baby's room, the nanny can sleep here." But it was not to be: despite visits to a series of doctors and several rounds of IVF, the longed-for baby never arrived.

Clapton, meanwhile, had replaced heroin with alcohol and was drinking heroically. Boyd joined him on tour where he and the band would have girls to their rooms after the show. Cruellest of all, two of his extra-marital relationships produced babies: a daughter Ruth and two years later a son, Conor, who would die, aged four, in a fall from the window of his mother's New York apartment. Boyd and Clapton divorced in 1988.

Asked once who was the great love of her life, Boyd nominated Harrison: "I think he always loved me … Eric loves himself. She admits now: "In both my marriages I had neglected myself, and got lost in a big cloud of fame, I got lost in their lives."

When the music stopped Boyd found herself with a legacy – cardboard boxes full of photographs which she exhibits and sells as prints from her online gallery. They are the archive of an era: here is an angelic George lying in bed in an Indian ashram, Eric in a woodshed leaning on an axe and looking Lawrentian in corduroy trousers, Paul and Linda McCartney at Boyd's wedding to Eric, Anita Pallenberg and Marianne Faithfull at the Brixton Academy. They are candid and intimate: did anyone ever object? "No, not at all," she says, surprised, "I would never show a photo where someone's not looking good."

The collection has been a useful earner for the girl who left school with three O levels and had no need to work while married to rich men. She has continued to take photographs – portraits of actors for their books and pictures from her travels. Does the contemporary work sell? "No one's really interested," she says without rancour.

Freddie needs a walk so we put on coats and set off for Holland Park where the trees are still leafless but there are daffodils and a hint of spring. Boyd has been with her partner, property developer Rod Weston, for 20 years – "we are old friends" – and they wed in 2015. They share the Kensington flat and a cottage in Sussex bought for her by Clapton. Why did they decide to marry? "We have lots of nieces and nephews between us," she says, "we wanted to put everything in order so there wouldn't be any tears." We walk on a few paces: "It's funny," she says, "Rod has been much nicer since we married and I am happier and less selfish. I didn't anticipate that."

She remained friends with Harrison until his death from cancer in 2001 and has stayed in touch with Clapton, many years sober and married with three more children. Last year she accompanied him to the launch of a documentary about him, A Life in 12 Bars, in which she features, naturally. "He rang me and said, 'It's a bit raw Pattie, I hope you'll be OK.' I said, 'I'll be fine Eric. I'm a grown-up now."

George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me: An Evening with Pattie Boyd will be held at Sydney's Four Seasons Hotel on May 15. Boyd's work will be shown at the Blender Gallery in Paddington from May 5 to June 2 as part of the Head On Photo Festival.

Morning & Afternoon Newsletter

Delivered Mon–Fri.

https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/music/famous-muse-pattie-boyd-says-she-neglected-herself-in-her-rock-star-marriage-20180409-h0yi6e.html

[cleverninja171]

Microsoft Sculpt Function Keys Mac

Connect Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Keyboard

Microsoft Function Keys Guide

Microsoft Sculpt Function Keys Mac Torrent

The seismic shift in personal computing over the last decade has dramatically changed the role that the desktop PC plays in our lives. For many, the only physical keyboards that they now use are attached to laptops, or connected to their tablets to improve input on touch-based devices.

But the death of the desktop PC isn’t quite upon us yet, and for as long as they exist, there will be a need for accessories to satisfy the needs of consumers and businesses alike.

Jul 04, 2014 Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Keyboard Function Keys Normally, the F2 key has enabled me to enter a cell within Excel. The Sculpt Comfort Keyboard has assigned media controls to the F keys, which I would like to disable or reassign so that the F2 key will allow for entering a cell. Feb 06, 2019 Explains why certain keyboard keys, such as NUM LOCK, INSERT, PRINT SCREEN, SCROLL LOCK, BREAK, and function keys do not work when you press them on a Microsoft keyboard. Resolve unexpected Function (F1 - F12) or other special key behavior on a Microsoft keyboard. Aug 16, 2013  Microsoft’s newly redesigned Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop bundle – which includes a keyboard, number pad, and mouse – is the company’s latest attempt to.

Mar 28, 2017  The function row keys on the Surface are half-height keys, which is an improvement over the one-third height (?) function row keys on the Sculpt. The function row keys on the Sculpt didn't feel like the other full-height keys; they were very spongy without good key travel/action. Feb 06, 2019  These keys are called enhanced function keys. Enhanced function keys provide quick access to frequently used commands that can increase your productivity. These commands are typically printed above or on the keys. The following table specifies the default enhanced-function key assignments that are available for Microsoft keyboards.

Microsoft remains one of the largest providers of keyboards and mice, with a range encompassing a broad spectrum of price points, including both wired and wireless devices, and even some designed for mobile usage to support the steadily growing selection of Windows tablets that are making their way on to the market.

One of the most notable additions to its range was announced this past summer, in the form of a desktop set that continues a long and proud tradition of ergonomic peripherals from the company.

Microsoft’s first ergonomic keyboard went on sale almost twenty years ago, with the launch of the Natural Keyboard in 1994. While it wasn’t the first such peripheral to be ergonomically designed, the Natural Keyboard blazed the trail for a more affordable generation of wrist-friendly computing devices. (There are some nice details from Ziba, the company with which Microsoft collaborated on that device, on its website.)

Image via Ziba

Over the next two decades, Microsoft continued to develop new and improved ergonomic keyboards and mice, designed to reduce the risks of repetitive strain injury, carpal tunnel syndrome and other afflictions resulting from extended use of input devices.

With the latest arrival, the company has created a set of three peripherals that make up the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop: a keyboard, a mouse and a separate numeric keypad. Designed primarily for Windows 8, Microsoft also officially supports their use on Windows 7, although they will also function on Mac and Linux, albeit with some features unsupported. However, Microsoft’s Hardware Compatibility database warns that the set is not compatible with Windows RT.

Image via Microsoft

You might expect the trio of devices to connect to a computer via Bluetooth, but no – instead, they connect via a 2.4GHz wireless signal to a small USB dongle. While Microsoft had the presence of mind to ensure that they all connect to the same receiver – thereby only taking up one USB port – a Bluetooth connection would have negated this requirement entirely.

Similarly odd is the fact that each of the three peripherals uses its own battery type: the keyboard requires two AAAs; the mouse eats two AAs; and the keypad uses a ‘button’-type CR2430 lithium battery.

However, in spite of these curiosities, on the surface, it appears that this is a pretty decent set of products. But with a recommended retail price of $129.95 in the United States (£99.99 in the U.K. and €129.99 across other parts of Europe), is the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop a worthwhile purchase, or is this just a case of style over substance?

Microsoft’s internal development codename for the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard was ‘Manta Ray’, and even a casual glance in its direction makes it obvious why. With a design inspired by the vast and beautiful tropical fish from which the codename was borrowed, the keyboard is astonishing to look at from just about every angle.

Like its ergonomic predecessors, the keys are split in the centre of the QWERTY board, sweeping gently down towards each edge at a slight angle outward from the centre.

The keys in the middle are noticeably more raised than those further out, and a good deal larger too; the ‘N’ key, for example, is around 2.5 times the width of the ‘?/’ key – a result of extensive research into making touch-typing easier and more natural when using this ergonomic layout.

For the same reason, you’ll notice that the lowermost row of keys is vertically larger than the others. The Windows and Ctrl keys are simply huge.

The keyboard also has an integrated padded wrist-rest, which has a soft, luxurious feel.

An optional prop-stand is also included that easily connects to the underside of the keyboard and remains attached via magnets. This raises the keyboard at the front, angling the keys downwards and away from you as you type. Whether you choose to use it or not will come down to personal preference and comfort; I found it more comfortable to use the keyboard with the stand in place, but if you find it counter-productive, removing it is as simple and painless as unplugging a keyboard cover from a Surface tablet. The magnets secure it in place, but aren’t so powerful that they make removing it a torturous experience.

It’s been over a decade since I last used an ergonomic keyboard for any significant amount of time – and I’m sure that my wrists will pay the price for that soon enough – so to say that I was unaccustomed to using the split layout is a massive understatement. On the first day that I used it, I found myself making an absurd number of errors; I was, quite literally, unable to complete a single sentence without making mistakes. By the end of that first day, the only thoughts that I had of the keyboard were ones filled with murderous rage, and that night, I’m sure that I dreamt of very slowly lowering it into a bathtub filled with acid while cackling maniacally.

Of course, it would not have been fair to form a final opinion on something which, as its makers would no doubt acknowledge, takes time to become accustomed to. So I have been using the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard for several weeks now, and the period of initial adjustment is now over. My early frustrations have been calmed, and my overall impressions are more positive. But this is not a device without its flaws.

The good

I won’t dwell on the aesthetics any further, except to say that, to my eyes, this thing is gorgeous. Your opinion may vary, of course, and if it does, fair enough – one person’s beauty is another’s beast.

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The keys are chiclet-style with scissor switches, requiring less downward travel to register each key press compared with mechanical keyboards. In use, key-tapping is impressively quiet, with only the two halves of the spacebar ever making enough noise to draw attention.

Once you’ve become more accustomed to the layout, typing on it is a breeze, for the most part, although depending on the size of your hands, you may occasionally find your fingers stretching just a tiny bit more than you might prefer from time to time.

Thanks to the comfortable wrist-rest and the optional prop-stand, in combination with a key layout that is the product of decades of research by Microsoft’s ergonomic specialists, it is generally easy to find an optimum typing position that allows for speedy input while still ensuring that your fingers and wrists don’t feel the strain.

On the whole, typing on this keyboard becomes a delight, once you’ve mastered it. Trying to get to that point will require time, effort and patience, but it’s worth it.

When it comes to using the keyboard for gaming, I’m not the best person to offer an expert opinion, as most of my gaming takes place on the Xbox 360 these days. However, I do enjoy playing Star Trek Online on the PC, and I found the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard to be adequate for this task, although the angle of the WASD keys relative to each other did feel slightly alien at first.

That said, keyboard-based gaming is usually pretty brutal on the fingers and wrists anyway – with lots of highly repetitive movements, and various contortions required to achieve key-combos as you try to pull off crazy moves on screen. It’s unlikely that buying an ergonomic keyboard will mitigate the damage being done to your hands by these kinds of inputs, so if you spend more of your time gaming on your PC than touch-typing, you’re probably best off sticking with a dedicated gaming keyboard.

The bad

The keyboard is fairly large as you’d expect, and that’s not a bad thing by any means. But to ensure that it didn’t end up becoming comically enormous, some layout compromises were made that have given rise to some mild irritations.

The underlying problem is one that notebook users will likely be familiar with. The cramped confines of smaller laptops requires manufacturers to cram keys in wherever they can possibly fit, and sometimes to do away with certain keys entirely. On the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard, the space limitations caused Microsoft to reorganise the secondary directional keys, which ordinarily sit above the four arrow keys on a ‘standard’ keyboard layout.

These now occupy a dual-width ‘column’ of keys at the far-right edge of the keyboard, vertically stacked above the arrow keys, which sit at the bottom-right. Despite using the keyboard for several weeks now, I still haven’t become accustomed to the positioning of these keys, and – almost without exception – I have to look over whenever I need to press one of them, which causes a small but annoying break in my workflow when engaged in writing or editing documents and spreadsheets.

Image via Paul Thurrott / WinSuperSite.com

A further irritation is one that appears to be unique to the version of the keyboard that Microsoft UK sent to us for this review. In the image above, which Windows-watcher Paul Thurrott included in his excellent review of the US versions of these products on WinSuperSite.com, you can see that the left Shift key is of a similar width to the Ctrl key below it. However, in the image below…

…you can see that the UK version has an additional ‘|’ key that the US version does not have, which results in the Shift key becoming very small indeed. It’s an annoyance that I’ve had to become accustomed to, but I still wish that this had been more thoughtfully executed. Luckily, for those in the US, at least, it’s not a problem they’ll have to deal with.

Finally, the review unit that Microsoft sent has some issues with its ‘+=’ key. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn’t, and requires me to push it numerous times, and at different angles, before the key press is finally registered. Having glanced through numerous other reviews of the product from esteemed tech publications, it appears that this is simply a glitch with this unit, rather than a widespread problem, but it would be remiss of me not to mention it here for your consideration.

The ugly

Since the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard was designed primarily for Windows 8, Microsoft thoughtfully included keyboard shortcuts to access various features that many users are likely to require when using their PCs.

These shortcut keys are doubled-up with the uppermost function keys; in addition to media controls on F1-F4, you’ll also find one-touch keyboard controls for the Windows Charms (Search, Share, etc.) from F5-F8, plus a smattering of other handy shortcuts on the other keys. The labels for these are highlighted in blue, making these added functions easier to identify – although unless you’re familiar with what each of these icons actually means, many of them will be meaningless to users.

The iconography isn’t my beef with these controls – it’s the implementation that I’ve found utterly infuriating. While most other keyboards provide secondary function controls by requiring the user to press the ‘Fn’ key – usually located somewhere along the bottom row – Microsoft decided not to employ this tried-and-tested method, and omitted an Fn key entirely.

So, to access these functions, you instead have to flick a mechanical switch at the top-right of the keyboard, which alternates the keys’ operations between their standard functions and the secondary Windows 8 controls.

In practice, this has been a complete usability disaster for me. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve pressed F5 to refresh a web page, and ended up opening the Share Charm instead; or pressed F1 to pause music playback only to get a Help dialog box opening up on screen; or pressed Alt+F4 expecting the open program to shut down, and seeing nothing but the volume indicator appear on screen.

Sometimes you want to use media controls; sometimes you want the convenience of quick keyboard access to the Charms; sometimes you want to just use the function keys as they were originally intended and as you’ve probably been using them for the last five, ten, twenty years or more. Having to constantly check the Fn switch at the top-right, to make sure that it’s in the correct position to perform the function that you want to execute when pressing one of the keys, is a colossal pain in the ass.

Worse still is the fact that the function keys themselves are annoyingly small, making them more difficult to press. They also have an odd range of travel to them that differs from the other keys on the keyboard; sometimes it feels like you’ve pressed them, but the absence of any on-screen action tells you otherwise.

The decision to forego the inclusion of an Fn key – and to use such tiny function keys – was evidently another product of the need to work within the limited space defined by the form of the device. But the usability flaws that this presents makes me question the wisdom of the decisions that were made here.

Even more infuriating is the fact that a dedicated ‘Application’ button exists at the lower right of the keyboard – between AltGr and the right Ctrl button – which does nothing more than duplicate the right-click mouse function.

Perhaps this is a case of different people favouring different workflows, but I have never – not once – found this button to be of any use. An Fn key (or, at the very least, the option to easily map the Fn function to that key – something which is not possible in Microsoft’s Mouse & Keyboard Center configuration software) would have made far more sense to me.

Alongside the keyboard, the numeric keypad is a far more understated component of the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop – and also the only one to offer no ergonomic concessions at all.

Unlike the original Natural Keyboard, which featured an integrated number-pad, this one stands alone from the keyboard; in appearance, it is rather like a giant calculator with the numeric display missing. Helpfully, though, there is a dedicated calculator button. This button will open the Calculator on the Desktop; there is no way to configure it to open the ‘Modern’ Calculator app (which is pre-installed with Windows 8.1) instead, which is a bit of a shame, given that these devices were designed with Windows 8.x in mind.

The keypad has a NumLock button, but no number lock indicator, relying instead on an on-screen notification; this choice was presumably made to extend battery life and, personally, I’m okay with that.

The value of the modular design approach is that the keypad is as useful or as useless as you want it to be. If you’re comfortable inputting numbers via the row of digits along the top of the keyboard (as many notebook users have become accustomed to), you may find the keypad superfluous, in which case you can chuck it in a drawer and not worry about it getting in the way. If you spend your days working with spreadsheets, you may well find it invaluable, in which case it can be positioned in the optimum location on your desk.

The other benefit of this design is that it adds welcome convenience for left-handed users, who can position the keypad to allow for easier input with their left hand if desired. But there is one obstacle in the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop that would alienate them entirely: the mouse.

Alas, if you’re left-handed, the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse is not for you. This mouse is unashamedly designed for righties, so if you’re a leftie, you’re out of luck. It can be used with a left hand (and it’s actually not completely uncomfortable to do so for short periods), but the ergonomic benefits are designed with a right hand in mind, to say nothing of the fact that the thumb buttons are both located on the left – out of reach in left-handed use.

With around 10% of the world’s population being left-handed, that’s an issue that many users simply won’t have to face. For the dexterous or ambidextrous, the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse is a much more compelling product.

Aesthetically, it’s an intriguing thing to behold. In terms of its size – and, to some extent, its shape – it’s like someone took a baseball, squashed it down onto a desk to create a flat base, and squeezed an indentation into it on which the thumb can rest. Even as I write those words, I fear that my description may be more confusing than enlightening, but I would hope that, in tandem with the images, they give you a sense of just what the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse brings to the table… or desk.

Photos do little to communicate the experience of actually taking it in the hand for the first time though. It feels unnatural, frankly, when you initially use it – too high, too rounded, just weird. See how it compares in height to another well-liked mouse – the Logitech Performance MX – and you may get a sense of why it feels so unusual at first.

The design is intended to encourage you to keep your wrist raised off the surface of your desk as you use it. A major part of the strain created by extended mouse usage is caused by the angle at which your hand is raised relative to the position of your wrist lying flat on the desk. By keeping your wrist raised, and with your fingers embracing the curves of the mouse, it promotes a less angled posture between arm, wrist and hand that will, over time, help to reduce the damaging effects that lead to carpal tunnel syndrome and similar long-term strains and injuries.

Beyond the curiosities of its shape, though, this is essentially a mouse like any other, with left- and right-click buttons, a physical wheel with vertical and horizontal scroll capabilities, and a middle-click function built into the wheel.

Two additional buttons are included, and the first is one that really can’t be missed. The bright blue Windows button on the top does exactly what you (probably) expect it to do: one click and it will open the Windows 8 Start screen; a second click and the Start screen disappears and returns you to the previous view. The second button is located below and to the left of the Windows button, nestled into the thumb indentation; by default, this acts as a ‘back’ button in a web browser or File Explorer, but its function can be redefined.

You may find the Windows button on the mouse to be infinitely useful; to be honest, I rarely remembered that it was there, and on the very few occasions that I used it, it was because I consciously told myself to give it a try, rather than finding it genuinely useful to the point that it became second nature. You may find it utterly indispensable, of course. While I didn’t, I never found that it got in the way either, so if your experience mirrors mine, you can at least take comfort from knowing that it won’t be an irritation to have it there.

The back button was infinitely more useful, but I do wish it was slightly larger to make it just that little bit easier to push. I also found the position of the back button to be less than ideal; when using the mouse as prescribed, it felt like the button was situated too far back, such that my thumb ended up having to bend inwards a little too much every time I needed to use it. In that specific respect, the Logitech Performance MX Mouse feels more natural, and certainly more comfortable.

But in every other aspect, the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse was a joy to use. The learning curve isn’t anywhere near as steep as with the keyboard, and the period of adjustment was far shorter. I found myself becoming accustomed to its bulbous shape quite quickly and, though it may sound like an exaggeration, I have genuinely felt that my wrist is less troubled by extended periods of mouse usage while using the ergonomic device, compared with similar amounts of time using other mice.

Before I wrap things up and deliver a final verdict, there is one final thing that I’d like to share, something that made me giggle when I read it a few weeks ago. I mentioned Paul Thurrott’s review of the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop earlier in this piece, having read it before I even knew that I would be reviewing these devices. As Paul explains in his write-up, he has been a long-time user of ergonomic devices, and he shared his initial experiences with the mouse:

Let's just say it went comically bad for the first week or ten days. I can't explain this, but I knocked this mouse off the keyboard tray and onto the floor several times a day for a while there and still do so every so often. When this happens, the mouse explodes into separate pieces, with the bottom plate—held on only by magnets—separating from the device and dislodging the batteries. This requires me to scramble around on the floor like an idiot, finding it all and putting it back together.”

This amused me greatly until I did the same thing on one occasion, sending the mouse flying towards the trash can, and knocking my cup of tea over on my desk as my hands flailed all over the place, as I foolishly believed I could catch the mouse before it landed.

Perhaps I was a little more cautious and wary of what might happen after that, but that was the one and only occasion that things went completely tits-up in my experience with the mouse. I would hope that the mistakes made by even incredibly experienced pros like Paul, and lumbering butter-fingers like me, will serve as cautionary tales to approach this mouse with care in the early days.

There is a lot to like about the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop, and after having had it on my desk for several weeks now, I shall genuinely miss it.

The keyboard is fantastic, once you get used to it, and that’s an important point to underline – unless you’re accustomed to ergonomic keyboards, it will take some time to get used to this one. If you don’t have the patience for that, you’d be better off looking elsewhere – but you won’t get the ergonomic benefits that this keyboard offers.

It isn’t perfect though – the function keys were a usability nightmare in my experience, and that’s a tremendous shame, as this is a problem that would be so easily fixed with the presence of an Fn button, rather than the idiotic switch-based system that Microsoft chose to implement. The directional keys – Home, Page Up/Down etc – are also not ideally placed, and I’m still not used to their positioning after all this time.

I never found the keypad to be of much use, but that’s the beauty of having a standalone unit – if, like me, you find it to be superfluous, you can rid your desk of it entirely.

I would be rather sad to see the mouse go, but as I say goodbye to the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop, I’ve already purchased a replacement for the mouse that will stay with me long after the review units have departed (they’ll find a new home with one of our readers in an upcoming giveaway – stay on the lookout for that!). The mouse isn’t entirely perfect, but it impressed me enormously, and I was able to feel the ergonomic benefits that it offers after a few weeks of use. I can think of no higher praise when reviewing a product than actually buying it for oneself.

The fact that I decided not to purchase the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard ultimately came down to my own personal irritations regarding the usability of the function keys. I recognise, however, that not everyone will be as frustrated by these as I was, so I won’t mark the keyboard down too severely for this. And given the considerable ergonomic benefits that the keyboard offers – to say nothing of its incredible style – I may reconsider that decision in the future.

The recommended retail price of $129 / £99 / €129 is a little steep for the whole set, but in reality, you’ll find that many retailers sell it for considerably less. Amazon.com, for example, is currently selling it for $85.99, and if you shop around, you may find even better deals. With a three-year warranty included, that price range is far more compelling.

Should you buy it? If you feel you can’t live with the irritations that I experienced – or if you don’t want to have to spend time becoming accustomed to the keyboard or the curiously shaped mouse – then you should look elsewhere. But if you can overlook the quirks that irked me, and you have the patience to put in some effort for considerable ergonomic benefits, then you should absolutely buy the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop without delay.

You’ll make your wrists very happy indeed.

Giveaway! We'll be giving away the Microsoft Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop - including the mouse, keypad and that dramatically styled keyboard - later this week here on Neowin! Be sure to follow us on @NeowinFeed, so we can let you know when the contest goes live! Note: this giveaway has now ended.

As users across the world embrace a more mobile – and increasingly touch-focused – approach to computing, the market for ‘traditional’ peripherals is not what it once was. When the overwhelming majority of us relied on big, bulky Windows PCs as our main tools for emailing, creating documents and playing games, there was a vast and seemingly infinite market for PC accessories and peripherals – from speakers to webcams, printers to scanners, and keyboards to mice.

These days, the focus is on notebooks and tablets, which integrate or negate many of the features that the accessories market used to cater for. But the PC is not dead yet, and many still rely on desktop computers every day. While the PC lives, demand for peripherals will live on – and while the market for mice and keyboards is perhaps not quite as diverse and lively as it once was, it too lives on, dominated largely by the likes of Logitech and Microsoft.

Microsoft’s Sculpt Comfort Keyboard is no stranger to us here at Neowin. In fact, we reviewed it almost a year and half ago, and it performed pretty well. Since many of our readers still rely on desktop computers – with good ol’ fashioned mouse and keyboard set-ups – we thought it would be helpful to revisit this keyboard, alongside the mouse with which it is paired in a desktop set.

These two peripherals make up the Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Desktop. Despite being launched some time ago, the Desktop set is still on sale as one of the company’s range of Windows 8-focused accessories. But is it still worth considering, or should you be looking elsewhere for your system’s next input devices?

The Sculpt Comfort Desktop is just one package in a large family of keyboards and mice offered from Microsoft. The company offers a broad range of devices, catering for a similarly diverse range of price points, and includes ultra-affordable wired mice and keyboards (aimed primarily at businesses), as well as mobile-focused peripherals, such as compact mice.

One particularly important strand in Microsoft’s range of input devices is its ergonomic keyboards and mice, which have formed part of its line-up for two decades. Microsoft’s Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop set is the ultimate realisation of that product line so far, with a dramatically styled split keyboard including a vast integrated wrist-rest, and a striking ball-like mouse. We reviewed those devices, along with the standalone keypad that completes the package, just a few months ago, and we came away pretty impressed.

Microsoft is careful to avoid over-using the word ‘ergonomic’ in its marketing for the Sculpt Comfort Desktop, perhaps preferring to preserve the use of that word for the more focused (and more expensive) Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop. Nonetheless, you will see the word ‘ergonomic’ used here and there in reference to the Sculpt Comfort Desktop.

The contour on the keyboard is obvious, although it noticeably lacks the massive split of the Sculpt Ergo keyboard. On paper, at least, this seems like a sensible choice for those who are keen to enjoy the ergonomic benefits of a mouse and keyboard, but are perhaps put off by the learning curve associated with the Sculpt Ergonomic devices.

The Comfort mouse, too, is far more familiar and relatable to other mice than the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse ever was. Both the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard and Mouse connect to a computer, not via Bluetooth, but via a 2.4GHz wireless signal to a tiny USB dongle. As with the Sculpt Ergo Desktop, we have to note that this is an unusual choice, given the convenience of Bluetooth, and the need to surrender a USB port to the dongle. (Curiously, the standalone Sculpt Comfort Mouse, sold without the keyboard, does connect to a computer via Bluetooth.)

But while it may not be quite as ostentatiously ergonomic as its pricier counterpart, and despite the slight oddity of its connectivity arrangement, the Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Desktop looks like a decent package, on the face of it, and its recommended retail price is $79.95 in the US (£69.95 in the UK, €79.99 across Europe) – a full $50 cheaper than the Sculpt Ergo.

So is the Sculpt Comfort Desktop the perfect balance of function, comfort and price – or could the lower price indicate a need for compromise?

Compared with the outlandish styling of the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard, the Comfort is far less interesting on an aesthetic level. Where the Ergo’s design is unique and exciting, the Comfort is rather ordinary by comparison; it looks like someone has taken a standard rectangular QWERTY keyboard and exaggerated its proportions. But don’t hold its plain looks against it – there’s still a competent keyboard underneath the unremarkable aesthetics, and for many users, that’s all that matters. For many, a keyboard is a purely functional device; not everybody demands that a keyboard be a work of art.

The layout of the keyboard gently sweeps upwards and inwards, peaking at around the F5key. Whereas on the Ergo, the entire centre portion of the keyboard is raised – including the spacebar and the wrist-rest, only the upper section of the keyboard is raised on the Sculpt Comfort.

The spacebar on the Comfort has a split design; one half acts as a traditional spacebar, while the other half is a backspace key. This may seem a little odd, but it is an ergonomic concession that some may find useful.

The reasoning behind this quirky implementation is that the backspace key – which is so often used as we type – is positioned at one of the furthest extremes of the main QWERTY board, adding strain to users’ wrists and hands as they reach over to it with great frequency. By adding a secondary backspace key on the spacebar, it offers a more comfortable option than having to repeatedly strain to reach the top-right of the keyboard.

This arrangement presents the only real learning curve that this keyboard demands. The Ergo took a lot of getting used to with its alien key layout, but the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard is far more familiar and easy to get used to. But if you want to take on the challenge of using the backspace key on the spacebar, you may find that the learning curve is a bit too steep to warrant the effort.

I personally found that my efforts to embrace the spacebar-backspace key were not fruitful. After many struggles, I eventually managed to master using that secondary backspace key rather than the normal one, but I was only able to do so with much concentration, which often distracted me from what I was working on.

Ultimately, I decided that my efforts to embrace this new way of doing things were counter-productive for my workflow, and eventually returned to the standard layout. Perhaps I am too set in my ways to make that feature work effectively for me – I do type a lot, after all. You may well find that the split backspace/spacebar arrangement works perfectly for you.

The wrist-rest at the lower edge of the keyboard is actually a clip-on affair, rather than being a fully integrated part of the device. However, as you can see, the keyboard alone, without the rest, is rather inconsequential, and loses the ergonomic benefits that the rest brings.

The rest does not only provide comfort for weary wrists; on its underside, it also features two retractable struts, which can prop up the edge of the keyboard closest to you, raising the keys and wrist-rest to a level that you may find more comfortable as you type.

Connect Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Keyboard

I personally found it more comfortable to use the keyboard with these struts extended – but your experience may differ. If you find that the raised position is just too uncomfortable, lowering the keyboard is as simple as snapping the retractable struts back into place.

If you find that you want to remove the wrist-rest too – although I can’t imagine why you would want to – just slide to unlock, and then detach it from the main keyboard.

The Sculpt Comfort Keyboard differs from the Ergo in one other significant way too: the keyboard layout on the Comfort is, fundamentally, identical to that of ‘regular’ keyboards, with a full-size integrated number-pad, arrow keys and secondary directional keys.

The far more conventional design of the Sculpt Comfort over the Ergo makes it much, much easier to get used to it, when transitioning from a standard rectangular QWERTY keyboard. It took just a few minutes for me to become accustomed to the positioning of the keys on the Comfort, after which I was able to type at my normal speed with relatively few errors.

You probably won’t be surprised to hear that the Sculpt Comfort is not a mechanical keyboard, and if that is your preference, then you should certainly steer clear of it. The keys on the Comfort are fairly shallow in their downward travel; while I wasn’t too bothered by this, you may find that the keys do not depress sufficiently for your tastes.

That said, reducing the amount of travel in the keys, thus reducing the effort required to push each one down, is an ergonomic feature. If you find that your fingers and wrists are feeling the strain lately, it may be worth considering a keyboard like the Sculpt Comfort that will help to diminish those symptoms in the long term.

The keys are pretty quiet in action; unless you slam each key particularly vigorously, you’ll hardly be able to hear the action of each key depressing as you type. As on many keyboards, the action of the space bar buttons is slightly louder than the others.

Typing on the keyboard is a pretty pleasant experience, thanks largely to the similarities with other keyboards. All of the keys you would expect to find on the overwhelming majority of keyboards are present and correct, so the only challenge is to adjust your typing to accommodate the slightly different positions of each key.

There will likely be a few more errors in your typing at first, while you become accustomed to these slight differences, but I would expect most users to adjust to the layout fairly quickly. That’s a point worth emphasising, because buyers who may be interested in the benefits of a more wrist-friendly keyboard may find themselves intimidated by the wacky design and unusual key layout of a device like the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard.

That said, it is evident that the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard does not come close to matching the ergonomic rewards of its more expensive sibling. That is not at all surprising – while there will be some ergonomic benefits of the wrist-rest and the gently curved ‘wave’ layout, it is clear that the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard is intended to take a familiar device and make it better for you, which is a long way from the Ergo, which was designed from the ground up as an ergonomically focused device.

Indeed, the differences between these two devices is spelt out in their names. If ergonomic benefits are of paramount importance to you, then the Ergo is the best choice; if comfort is what matters most, albeit with a couple of ergonomic concessions thrown in, then the Comfort, of course, is the better choice.

To put this another way, don’t expect the Sculpt Comfort Desktop to make everything better if you’re suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome, repetitive strain injury, or some other physical complaint related to the use of your computer. Feeling comfortable while you type does not guarantee that you are not doing damage to your body.

The Sculpt Comfort Keyboard is comfortable to type on, but it is not perfect to use.

Microsoft Function Keys Guide

My main gripe with the device is one that I found similarly irritating on the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard.

Like the Ergo, the Comfort is designed primarily for Windows 8. Microsoft officially supports use of the Comfort Desktop with Windows 7 too, but warns that the set is not compatible with Windows RT. You will also find that the keyboard works just fine with Mac and Linux too, albeit with some features unsupported.

In addition to the familiar Windows key, near the bottom-left, the Comfort keyboard also includes a set of standard function keys along the top row of the keyboard, above the numbers. Along with the typical functions of these buttons (e.g F1 for Help, F5 to refresh etc), Microsoft added a range of secondary functions to each button, intended to help users more quickly perform common tasks in Windows 8.

These Windows 8 shortcuts are highlighted in light blue (the same shade used to dramatic effect on the Sculpt Comfort Mouse) on the function keys, offering one-touch access to features such as media controls from F1-F4 and the Windows Charms (Search, Share, etc.) from F5-F8.

The PrtScn, Scroll Lock and Calculator launcher are also offered as secondary functions, highlighted in blue.

But, as on the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard, the implementation of gaining access to these secondary functions is profoundly irritating. Instead of relying on an Fn key as the overwhelming majority of manufacturers do – usually found along the bottom row of the keyboard – Microsoft instead chose a different approach.

Instead, users must flick a mechanical switch in the upper-right of the keyboard, when they wish to alternate between the primary and secondary functions of each key.

And, just as on the Ergo, this system has proven to be confusing and annoying for me on the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard. There are three ways to deal with this system: 1) leave the switch permanently in ‘traditional’ function (white) mode; 2) leave the switch permanently in Windows 8 (blue) mode; or 3) check the switch every single time you use it, to ensure that pressing one of the function keys will yield the desired result.

If you’re content with options 1 or 2, then you’re sorted. For some, the secondary Windows 8 functions on the keyboard will add little – especially if the keyboard is being used on a desktop with a touchscreen display, or on a non-Windows system – and stick with the traditional functions. Others may well embrace the Windows 8 controls wholeheartedly, and consider them more valuable than the old-school function keys, and will therefore keep the switch in the blue position.

But I suspect there will be plenty of users out there who see great value in both sets of functions, and who value the ability to press F5 to refresh a page as much the ability to quickly bring up the Windows 8 Share Charm. For these users, the implementation is far from satisfactory.

As with the Ergo, I found myself encountering considerable frustrations with the function keys on the Comfort. Pressing the F1 key to play or pause a video often brought up a Help box instead; pressing F5 to refresh a web page frequently opened up the Windows 8 Search Charm instead. I found that the only way to guarantee success each time I pressed one of those keys was to check the mechanical switch each time I used them.

Hardly the epitome of convenience.

I see no advantages at all to Microsoft’s implementation of the function keys here. The benefits to those groups who would prefer one set or the other – either the traditional or Windows 8 function keys – could surely be adequately catered for with software customisation of the keyboard layout, rather than by compromising usability for everyone. Perhaps you may disagree, but I don’t see any particularly compelling case for Microsoft’s approach to this compared with using the more familiar Fn key that is more or less an industry standard.

The whole thing is made even more irritating given that a fairly superfluous ‘Application’ button sits on the bottom row of the keyboard in the spot where an Fn button would prove far more useful. I personally found this Application button to be entirely useless; other than making myself use it a couple of times to see what it had to offer, I had absolutely no occasion to use it in my natural workflow or general usage.

Still, the function keys themselves are at least pleasant to use, although a little on the small side. As with the other keys on this keyboard, there is relatively little downward travel on these, and in combination with their small size, this can make them a bit fiddly to use at first. You should find that you get used to them soon enough though.

Just as with the Sculpt Ergonomic, the Sculpt Comfort Mouse is designed exclusively for right-handed users. If you’re among the 10% or so of the world’s population that is left-handed, you’ll need to look elsewhere for your mousing needs.

But for the majority of those who do not fall into this category, the Sculpt Comfort Mouse is a pretty decent choice. Its design is far less exotic than the Ergo mouse, with a much more conventional form that will quickly feel familiar when transitioning from another mouse, such as the Logitech Performance MX shown in the image above, alongside the Sculpt Comfort and Ergo, respectively.

Take the mouse in hand for the first time, and it feels pretty decent. There is no real period of adjustment while your hand gets used to it; just grab the mouse and get on with whatever you need to do.

That said, given that it was designed for comfort – it even has the word in its name – I am surprised that the Sculpt Comfort Mouse isn’t more comfortable. I found that its upper area was a bit too flat to provide adequate support for my palms, while the overall width was also insufficient to provide true comfort over extended periods of working at the computer.

I do not have comically enormous hands. My fingers are not vast, throbbing sausages that would require a mouse the size of a football for proper ergonomic comfort. My hands are average-sized, and I can just about use a 4.5-inch smartphone one-handed, but it can be a bit of a stretch at times. So, with my average-sized hands, I'm a little disappointed that there isn't more comfort or support on offer with this mouse. It's usable, yes, but not so comfortable that it even comes close to justifying its 'Sculpt Comfort' name.

It is not that my palms or wrists were especially troubled by using the mouse – they weren’t – but I have used mice that are far more comfortable, and which offer better support for the hand.

I also observed in my use of the Sculpt Comfort Mouse that, as a result of its flatter shape, my wrist tended to lie flat on the desk, resulting in an awkward angle between my wrist on the desk, and my hand curled around the mouse.

As Microsoft’s own ergonomic studies show, this is not the ideal posture for the hand and wrist; your wrist should not be angled horizontally or vertically away from the arm while using the mouse, as this creates severe strain on the wrist which builds up over time. Indeed, you should ideally keep your arm straight - from your elbow down to the end of your fingers - while using, moving and maneuvering the mouse on your desktop. This is precisely why the Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse has such a curious shape, which forces the wrist to be raised off the desk, ensuring a less damaging angle between wrist and hand while you use it, and encouraging you to move the mouse with your arm, rather than with just a damaging flick of the wrist.

The Comfort’s shape is therefore neither ideally suited to comfort, nor does it appear to be particularly well equipped to improve your desk-bound ergonomics. The majority of users will find it to be perfectly adequate for their needs, no doubt, but some may be put off by the compromises of the design.

The Comfort Mouse would look rather unremarkable, too, were it not for the ‘slash’ of colour down its left edge. This is more than an aesthetic feature; since the Sculpt Comfort Desktop is designed primarily for Windows 8, the blue diagonal strip is actually a Start button.

Like the backspace button on the keyboard’s spacebar, the mouse may seem like an odd place for a Start button. There is no particularly revolutionary thinking behind its inclusion – it is merely another means for you to open the Start screen. You may find it useful; others may not. Personally, I found myself using it far more often than I imagined I would – although not for the reason you may be thinking.

You see, the Start button on the mouse is located in exactly the position where, intuitively, one would expect to find the Back button. Consequently, more often than not, I’ve pushed the Start button, expecting the web browser or File Explorer to go back a page, only to see the Start screen appear instead.

But don’t go thinking that Microsoft launched this mouse without a Back button. Well, technically, it did – but it integrated the back/forward functionality into the Start button itself. The blue strip down the side of the mouse isn’t just a Start button – it is also a touch-sensitive strip.

Swipe down the strip with your thumb (from the top towards the desk), and you will go back; swipe upwards to go forwards. Simple.

…or rather, it would be if it worked reliably. Regardless of what web browser I was using, and even in Windows 8’s File Explorer, the touch strip was infuriating. Time and again, I would swipe down the strip, hoping to go back a page, and the mouse would gently vibrate to acknowledge that it had accepted my swipe, but nothing would happen on screen.

I tested the keyboard on two Windows 8.1 desktops and a Surface Pro tablet and, sadly, saw similarly patchy performance across all devices. The problem is not isolated to this particular mouse unit either; a quick browse around the web, including reviews of the Sculpt Comfort Mouse by other esteemed tech publications, reveals that others have experienced the same issues too with the device.

But despite these nuisances, the Sculpt Comfort performs adequately as a mouse and, aside from the distinctive Windows 8 button plastered down its side, you’ll also find the usual collection of mouse buttons, including left/right click, and a scroll wheel with both vertical and horizontal scroll support.

The Sculpt Comfort Desktop is a bit of an odd beast.

Microsoft has been careful not to imbue it with too many ergonomic features, lest it should tread on the toes of its pricier Ergo sibling, yet still infuses its marketing with hints of its capabilities in that area. And yet, neither the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard nor the Mouse really shine on that front.

Perhaps it is unfair to judge them by this standard, given that Microsoft has positioned these devices as being focused on comfort, rather than ergonomics. But here, too, neither keyboard nor mouse truly excel in providing the most comfortable experience, with the mouse suffering in particular.

The Sculpt Comfort Mouse is a very odd creature in its own right. It is noticeably smaller – in every dimension – than most desktop mice; indeed, it seems much more like a mobile mouse, designed for use with notebooks and tablets. Its small size and relatively flat design provide little of the support that a weary hand needs while working for hours at a computer.

Microsoft Sculpt Function Keys Mac Torrent

While not especially uncomfortable, this mouse does not match the kind of comfort that many other mice can offer, even at similar price points.

But the mouse’s greatest failing is its Start button and integrated touch strip. I never found much genuine use for the Start button on the mouse personally, but you may well find it to be invaluable. Frankly, I would rather have seen the Start button removed entirely, in favour of Back/Forward buttons, especially given that I found the touch gesture implementation to be so poor and unreliable. This is profoundly disappointing, given that back/forward functionality is so fundamental to mouse-based navigation.

The Sculpt Comfort Keyboard, on the other hand, is a far more convincing product. It may lack the striking aesthetics of the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard, but the Comfort still has plenty to offer.

It is genuinely comfortable to type on – perhaps not the most comfortable keyboard in the world, but the overwhelming majority of users will find it perfectly satisfactory. Indeed, some may find its gently curved key layout to be more comfortable, with a less damaging wrist/hand posture, than ‘standard’ rectangular keyboards.

The split backspace/space key is also an interesting feature for those that may wish to give it a try. I found it to be more hassle than it was worth, but switching this functionality on or off is simple.

But, just as with the Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard, I found the implementation of primary (traditional) and secondary (Windows 8) function keys to be infuriating. The mechanical switch-based system – to alternate between pressing F5 to refresh a page or to open the Windows 8 Search Charm, for example – is not just annoying, but does nothing to make the process of performing these tasks more easily.

There is no convenience in having to check that the switch is in the correct position, every single time, before you perform one of the tasks assigned to the function keys. From my perspective, if you have to perform an extra task – checking or flicking the switch – every time you’re going to use a function key, you may as well just ditch the switch, and go with the tried and tested Fn key that most other manufacturers use, and which users are broadly more familiar with.

Despite these foibles, the keyboard seems to be a far better proposition than the mouse to which it is paired in this package, which is why I think it’s important to take the unusual step of clarifying separate scores for the two devices, in addition to an aggregated score for the package as a whole.

The keyboard is good, but not great. It gets the job done, it’s easy to get used to the layout, and it is, for the most part, fairly comfortable to use. The function keys are annoying, and the backspace on the spacebar may be useless to many, but most users will be able to see past these irritations, perhaps more easily than I have been able to. For these reasons, the keyboard gets an 8 out of 10 – just slightly lower than its previous score here on Neowin back in 2012.

The mouse, however, doesn’t fare so well. There is nothing especially uncomfortable about the mouse, but it is hard to see what Microsoft has done to make it more comfortable than an ordinary mouse. The top is too flat to provide decent support to the hand; the profile is so low that it allows the wrist to lay flat on the desk in use (an ergonomic no-no); and its size is smaller than many desktop mice, making it feel more like a mobile mouse than one designed for all-day use with a PC.

Add to this the unreliable and annoying touch strip – with its will-it-won’t-it approach to responding to commands – and the mouse starts to make far less sense. Consequently, the Sculpt Comfort Mouse gets a lowly 6 out of 10, with its score saved mostly by its ease of set-up, decent aesthetics, and notable precision and flawless performance in tracking mouse movement.

At $79.95 – the manufacturer’s suggested retail price in the US – the Sculpt Comfort Desktop is a good deal cheaper than the $129 Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop, but some may feel that the compromises of the Comfort Keyboard and Mouse make this a price too high to pay. But if you shop around, you should be able to find this package on sale for far less.

In the US, at Amazon.com, for example, the Sculpt Comfort Desktop can be purchased for just $49.99 with free shipping. With Microsoft’s three-year worldwide warranty covering the keyboard and mouse, that’s a much more compelling offering, especially given the decent build quality and materials used in their construction, and the fact that the Sculpt Comfort Keyboard alone is currently priced at over $40 on the same site. You may well be able to find even better deals from other retailers and in other markets.

Should you buy it? If ergonomics are your priority, the answer is no. Spend a few extra bucks and get the upgrade to the Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop instead. It'll cost more, and there's a bit of a learning curve to the keyboard, but your wrists will thank you in the long run.

The Sculpt Comfort Keyboard and Mouse are both decent, but neither one truly excels in any area. The decision to purchase it will come down entirely to whether or not you can deal with the shortcomings listed in this review. At full price, those issues may well look a lot more serious, but at under $50 for keyboard and mouse together, you may be able to overlook the flaws of the Sculpt Comfort Desktop more readily – and if you do, you’ll still be buying a capable and affordable pair of devices.

Our thanks to Microsoft UK for providing the Sculpt Comfort and Sculpt Ergonomic Desktops to us for review.

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

Til Kingdom Come

Jurassic World 

Summary: Claire pushes social and gender boundaries. The universe pushes back.  

Part: 5/12

Words: 6,808

I was just sitting around waiting to post this. So, y’all may as well have it. Call it me avoiding my responsibilities. 

AO3

TIL KINGDOM COME - PART 5

She felt brave that morning when she woke, confidence telling Claire that nothing would touch her as Zara helped fix the laces on her clothes before intricately braiding her hair. She needed strength to feel like herself again. A few weeks ago Owen thought she was pregnant but when she got her period the following week everyone looked as if she had let them down. Her body didn’t feel like hers anymore. It belonged to the watchful eye of East court.

She found Owen just outside the castle walls, using the training grounds they had installed. Most of the men were there, the ones she noticed Owen always took with him wherever he went. They didn’t call them The Kings Guard here, but they acted in a similar way. She considered them his brutes. Rough men who likely held large death counts over their heads, willing to lay their lives down for Owen at his command. Despite that, they did not scare her. Claire knew these men could not touch her without facing the wrath of her husband and Owen was just as big as they were. She liked that about him; he was strong, trained alongside his men and saw to civilian issues often. It was more than she could say for Merrick who hid away in The Citadel until he was forced out on a battlefield. It was a miracle her brother was still alive. But, Owen, he stood a fighting chance against the toughest of men.

It smelt of manure and hay from the stables out there as the sounds of clashing metal filled her ears, men grunting as they honed their battle skills.

‘Are you going for a ride?’ Owen asked approaching his wife when he noticed she was completely alone, not even Zara by her side. She shook her head. A ride had not been in her plans. ‘What are you doing out here, then?’ He asked with a laugh, fingers tapping at the coat she wore. It was warm enough that she didn’t need it and yet Claire used it to conceal what she was wearing underneath.

‘I thought I could join you.’ She told him, no question in her tone as she shed herself of the coat to reveal the pant and shirt combo she was wearing. Owen stared, anger climbing up his face. They were his clothes, too large on her little body, tied down with added rope and a few ribbons around her arms. He could tell she wasn’t wearing a corset and that alone enraged him. If he knew the others would too and he wasn’t having his men ogling his corset-less wife.

‘You need to go change.’ He demanded, trying to throw her coat back over her shoulders.

Claire shook her head. ‘I can’t spar in a dress.’

‘You’re not sparring, not today. Not out here. Not ever.’ He couldn’t meet her eyes, Owen realising he had never really looked at her, not like this, completely out of her attire and draped in his clothes.  No one else was allowed to see her like that.

She put her hands on her hips, the coat falling off once again as she stared at him. ‘You said you didn’t want me to be miserable. I find handling a sword quite enjoyable.’ He stared at her, wide eyed and open-mouthed, this young woman in front of him dressed in men's clothes, a red braid long down her back and a determination in her eyes he was starting to realise wouldn’t lift. ‘What? Are you scared I’ll hurt your men?’

Owen shook his head, he was worried his men would hurt his wife. They wouldn’t dream of it, knowing more harm would come to them than not. If they were smart, they wouldn’t engage her in combat at all.

‘Women don’t fight.’

‘Bullshit.’ She swore, watching him flinch at the language from her mouth. He pursed his lips, ready to argue with her when Claire proposed a challenge. ‘If I can hit that target from thirty yards, I can stay, do as please, weld a sword or a bow. If I miss, I’ll go back to the castle and never ask again.’ That was a lie, of course, she would ask again but she would give Owen and cooling off period before she did.

He didn’t want to admit that he finally managed to place the small silver scar on her cheek, worry settling into his bones. He had seen similar marks, usually red and bloody, fresh out of the fight with his archers, the string pulled too close to the face. Suddenly, Owen realised she might actually win her little wager. He nodded anyway, agreeing, unsure which parts of him wanted to her to succeed and which wanted her to fail.

Claire attracted a crowd. She wasn’t hard to miss with her fiery hair and confident walk as she stalked across their outdoor barracks, catching the eye of every man she passed. Women didn’t particularly find themselves in this part of the castle. They were gawking, eyes on the woman wearing pants as she stomped over to a large barrel sprouting with bows, a stack of arrow filled quivers sitting on the bench beside it. She took her time, grasping her hands over the grips and the limbs, feeling the weight of the instrument before she found one she liked. Claire would have preferred the one she left in the Citadel, weapon not joining her on her journey in fear her new house would take it away. The one at home had been made especially for her, weight and size sculpted to give Claire a better edge. If she won the wager, she would send for it, that was if her family hadn’t thrown away what little possessions she left behind. For the time being, that The Grady’s had here would have to do.

It was heavier than she what she was used too, the string well used which would work in her favour. She lifted it easily, ignoring the eyes on her and sauntered towards her mark. Owen was standing a few feet away, keeping himself to the front of the growing pack.

‘What is she doing?’ She heard a voice ask. Owen only grunted the man vexed as he watched her.

She raised her arm, testing the bow as she tugged on the string sans arrow. ‘As she pleases.’ She heard Owen grunt in response.

She turned to him, body twisted at her waist, bow hanging from her hand as if it weighed nothing at all. ‘Ready to make good on that bet?’ She called to him, winking playfully as she caught Owen’s jaw drop. The men around him made noise, some cheering in her favour while others gave Owen shit, a few, she was sure, hollered that she should be inside helping the other women.

Owen nodded, the movement curt. She didn’t need his permission to lift the bow but she waited for it anyway. This move wasn’t intended to annoy him. She wouldn’t have done it if she thought he would be really mad. Claire felt comfortable, that she could trust him with her favoured past times and have his full support.  

She raised the bow with a steady arm, the other reaching for an arrow as she held it in place. Her biceps stretched, muscle bulging under Owen’s large shirt. Claire inhaled, one singular sharp breath as she lined up her shot, eye on the target thirty yards away. She held her breath, her body wound tight as a coil as she felt the string strain against her fingers. Claire let it go, feeling the string snap against her cheek as the arrow went flying down the field.

The men erupted in a roar as the arrow sunk itself into the centre of the target, Claire dropping the bow as she spun towards Owen. She could feel the glee bubbling in her chest, smile bright on her face. She couldn’t hide it. Nothing made her happier than hitting the target, the pot had sweetened when she proved someone else wrong.

Owen was leaving against the fence separating the path from the archery range. His arms were crossed over his chest, legs stretched out in front of him. One of his men clamped their hands down on his shoulders, shaking their lord with excitement and disbelief. Owen remained steady. The grin on his cheeks was deep, pressing dimples into his skin in something akin to pride.

She wasted no time in crossing the space between them in a confident stride. ‘Well,’ Owen cleared his throat, ‘I guess you get to spar with the men’. In that second, Claire felt like a child on the very same day her father had given the girl her first bow and quiver. She couldn’t help the joy that pounded through her bloodstream inline with adrenaline. She kissed him, both hands firm on either side of his face as their lips met. He revelled in the touch for a moment, kissing her back as lust pooled between them, Claire living off adrenaline as Owen tried to hide that her display had turned him on. His men cheered louder at the sight of their affection. ‘I get to pick who you train with.’ Owen told her, fingers sliding around her wrist.

Claire frowned. ‘I won’t damage your men.’ She told him defiantly.

Owen shook his head. ‘I don’t want anyone hurting you. These are men we are talking about. They are not used to fighting with women and they will forget their own strength. Until I can find you a suitable sparring partner I will take their place.’

She pulled back, stepping out of the space between his legs. ‘You?’ She asked, frown in place. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Owen would make a good partner but rather that he had thrown her off.

‘C’mon, every wife dreams of taking her husband on in battle.’ He teased, letting her go as his fingers flexed against his legs. She could see he wanted to pull her back in.

Claire tilted her head, watching him with avid curiosity as she nodded. ‘I just don’t think you would like to lose face in front of all your men, here.’ She teased, winking at him as she took another step back, Owen launching for her with a wide grin.

‘You’re a terrible tease.’ He told her, and even though Owen had the speed and strength to catch Claire, he let her continually step out of his reach. ‘If you’re serious about this, I can ask Mae to fetch you some better clothes.’ She nodded, smile wide on her face.

‘I did this at home. I had an instructor and when the men from The Kings Guard came back from Merrick’s errands they would beg me for a duel.’ She admitted proudly before adding it was all in secret or else he would have heard about the duelling princess of The Citadel. ‘I was not sure how you would take to that revelation of my past times.’

‘And your father let you do this?’ She nodded. ‘Your brother?’

‘Didn’t approve, but Merrick didn’t mind what I did so long as I kept out of his war room.’ She turned her eyes away from him, her hands fidgeting. ‘I’ve never killed. Just played, really. It keeps me entertained.’ She was ashamed of the things she had to hide. Her boyish fancies that kept her time occupied. Claire loved the gardens and the horses, she wasn’t a very good tailor but she could sew. There were just other things that took her interest first. She wanted to fight and she wanted to take command. She was not interested in becoming a wife and a mother, but that was the hand she was dealt.  

‘You like to fight and plan wars, what woman did they send me?’ He asked, his tone endearing as he stepped into her personal space.

‘A wild one.’ Claire told him, breathless as she stepped back towards him and lent in. Their mouths were inches apart, breath ghosting over the face of the other as Claire closed the space between them with a cheeky peck. He didn’t let her breakaway, instead, Owen slid his arms around her waist and deepened their kiss. She whimpered against him, her hands bunching his clothes into her fists. Claire felt her cheeks burn hot, well aware that other men were in their presence, but she paid them no mind, happy to get lost in the feel of her husband, grin growing wide.

She wondered momentarily if he was going to distract her requests with sex. Claire would be a willing participant, if not a little pouty that he tore her away from her desired activities. But, she was starting to find, as his teeth nipped her lip, she desired him a little more than sparring in that moment.

Owen pulled away, leaving Claire to whimper at him as a crease formed in her brow. The warmth of his body and his shirt in her hand was easily replaced with cool steel, the item heavy in her hand as Claire realised he had slipped a sword into her grasp.

‘Lets see what you’ve got.’ He teased with a wink, skin flushed from their kissing as Claire wondered on the effectiveness of a lust-addled mind.

Claire had fought with some of the toughest men in her brother’s guard. They had come from all over The Four Kingdoms to serve Merrick and in their free time engaged Claire in a sparring match when she felt like it. For a long time, she thought a few might fancy her and if they kept up their game she could even fall in love with them. Often times, they thought her an easy mark and a quick defeat. She never let them with.

She had some of the greatest teachers the earth had to offer and yet Owen Grady nearly had her beat. There were keen warnings of bruises blooming against her skin, a few on her arms and legs another angry welt against her ribs. Once again, they drew a crowd that day, men gathering to watch their Lord and Lady spar as Claire taunted him playfully. They had to call it quits before someone really got hurt, Owen already sporting a cut on his brow from a tumble neither of them saw coming. Regardless, it was her blade that did it and she didn’t exactly want to see herself become a widower.

They found their rhythm in a heartbeat, learning to spar with the other, anticipating the next move. She could feel him in her head, just as she suspected he could feel her. They melded together as one thought, trying to counteract the other’s next move.

It carried to the bedroom, when their strength was waining, the both of them panting as their lungs tried to keep up. In the privacy of their bedchambers, they tore at the other, hands quick and confident, squeezing and tugging, eliciting sweet little moans.

Owen tugged at his ill-fitting trousers on her hips, yanking them down as he dropped to his knees. He was peppering fat kisses up her legs, pace hurried against the soft skin of her thighs as he climbed higher, enjoying the lack of her skirts. His kisses turned from sloppy to precise as she felt his nose nudge at her nether regions before his tongue made a calculated move. Her hands were buried in his hair, curled tight and likely to be causing him pain. Owen didn't complain, only continued his work.

He didn’t move until her legs started to twitch, knees promising to give way with every stroke of his tongue or the suction of a deliberate kiss. Claire crawled onto the bed the second he let her go, arms unwinding from her legs as laughter drifted from the tip of her tongue.

It was so different now than what it had been. Their coupling not forced or hazed by alcohol. Claire was starting to lose count on the number of times they had sex but this moment felt distinctly different from all the rest. Something in her chest felt at ease, wanted in this space not because she was promised to him, or that she had taken charge and turned the tables. She was here, her body quivering because like it or not, Owen fancied her as more than a wife he was given. He might not have been ready to admit it but Claire could feel lust melding with love or in the least a strong form of admiration.

Claire felt joyful at his tough, complete with every kiss on her body as he pushed his shirt over her head. His kisses led to nips, teeth grazing her skin as she squirmed, hips raising to roll against his in impatient little moves. She was panting, unabashed and out of rhythm as each touch his fingers made, each squeeze, each kiss, lick and nip encouraged her breath to catch and stutter past her lips.

Her hair had come loose, falling out of the intricate braids Zara had placed them in early that morning. Instead, the curled red strands fanned a halo around her head, a length of it stretched over her shoulder, draped down her breast in a wave as Owen curled it around his fingers, his palm cupping the heavy flesh of her chest as Claire pushed herself further into his hand. He grinned at the sight of her arched back, other hand sliding under her ribs as his fingers pressed at her spine.

He was learning to adore Claire in all forms but this was his favourite; wife stretched out on his bed, naked, hair wild as she stretched her arms beyond her head and grinned at him with lust filled eyes. She was a vision he had only ever imagined, a happiness he thought he could never find.

It was not lost on Owen that Claire let him keep the lead. She was capable of turning their game, twisting their bodies and sliding him home without any more lingered nonsense. Instead, she let him take his time, let him kiss her body in the most lovely of places, her skin humming as she mewled. She let him have the power between them, the control of her lust and the speed in which he devoured it.

‘Please, Owen.’ She whimpered, his name the ghost of a sound as she hooked her leg around his. Owen grinned, his eyes meeting hers as he lowered his head, playfully taking a nipple between his teeth. She cursed him with a breathy giggle as her body squirmed, Owen lowering a steady hand to her hip to keep her still. It only made her try harder, whimper soft as he lavished her skin with wet kisses. Claire allowed him the control, but that did not stop her from reaching between their bodies with impatient fingers to grasp ahold of the one thing she wanted.

[…]

Claire woke with a start, a fright clutching at the edges of her thoughts as it rattled down to her chest. She sat up on the large bed, ears straining to catch what had awoken her. The night was still, moonlight bathing their room as a muscle in her leg twitched with the reminder of her husband’s touch, the man sleeping soundly beside her. She watched him for a minute, fondly admiring the side of his face as he slept naked and on his stomach, the broad plans of his back bare to her. She had not failed to notice the four bodies missing from the floor and furniture, the wolves were gone.

The night whistled outside the open windows, still and smooth, a cool breeze calming. She told herself to lay back down, willing it all away as a bad dream that had startled her. Claire returned her head to the pillow and curled closer into Owen, tucking her arms around one of his as he started to stir. ‘Sleep, Princess.’ He mumbled to her, other hand raising to pet at her hair.

‘The girls are gone.’ She told him quietly, trying not to sound frightened as everything felt too still around her. Something wasn’t right, Claire knew it, she just couldn’t put her finger on exactly what.

Owen shrugged, grunting a little in his sleepy throat as he tucked her in closer. ‘They get up sometimes.’ He said as if to remind her that they were house trained and there was a courtyard only a few feet away. ‘They’re wild animals, they get restless.’ Claire wanted to ask what was there to be restless about. The night was oddly still, absent of hooting owls or baying wolves. Why had his girls gotten up and left them and why had she never noticed before?

Claire was drifting again, marvelling at how silly she felt in being so concerned. Just as her eyes closed and sleep started to climb over her like a blanket she heard voices outside the chamber doors, the Grady soldiers who stood guard of them while they slept were alarmed, their voices shouting at someone. Owen was awake, she heard the shift in his breathing beside her as his body turned rigid. He sprung out of bed the second metal hit metal outside the chamber door.

‘Stay here.’ He demanded a finger pointed in Claire’s direction as she sat in the middle of their bed, sheets a mess around her. He was trying to tug a pair of pants on with one hand as he freed his sword from its sheath with the other. Half clothed, Owen tossed a dagger onto their bed, the small weapon landing a few inches from Claire as she stared at it. ‘Use it if you have to.’ He told her, vowing when the night was over he would get her a better weapon. She looked at him with a gaping expression, half blubbering as Claire tried to remind him she had never killed before. ‘You know how to use it.’ Owen was confident. ‘I don’t want you hurt in this, Claire. Strike as many times as you need to, just make sure it’s not any of my men.’ There was no guarantee that it wasn’t rogue Grady men behind that door but Claire understood if their intention was to hurt her, Owen wanted them dead.

She couldn’t help but feel scared. The Citadel’s castle had been threatened a small number of times in her life but Claire had been too young to remember it. Everyone knew the palace was impenetrable and any chances of wreaking havoc on The Dearings would be stopped and saw too. All those involved would be put to their deaths. She felt vulnerable in Grey Castle, sitting in a nightgown with nothing but a dagger to protect her. She missed the sight of Owen’s girls, suddenly wishing all four beasts were by her side for comfort. Claire worried about Owen, too, unsure of what he was facing beyond those doors as she heard men shout and swords clash.

Claire wanted to do her part, wanted to help in the fight but she knew a dagger against swords would see her death quicker than anything else. Claire stayed put, listening to the sounds of fighting as she cringed every time she swore Owen’s voice could be heard.  

The voices fell silent after a while. Claire couldn’t tell if they had moved on or if they had managed to kill themselves in the fight and lay bleeding to death out in the hall. She waited for Owen to return and when he didn’t Claire got antsy.

She didn’t want to sit there and wait for misfortune to find her. It might have been the safest option, if the men really had moved on they would have left her be. Claire moved regardless, feet hitting the cool floor as she broke out into the hallway, heart hammering as her eyes scanned the bodies on the floor for her husband. There was no sign of Owen, the tightening in her chest eased.

There was no doubt she stepped in blood, feet bare as she wandered the halls of the castle, looking for Owen or a familiar face that could ease her worries. The castle was empty and the night beyond it remained still. She couldn’t hear the clash of swords any longer or the grunting of fighting men. She was peeping around the corner of an unfamiliar room, quietly calling out her husband’s name when someone grabbed her from behind. They smelt foul, hands too small on her to be her thick bodied husband.

‘Just what I was looking for.’ The man purred in her ear. Every hair on her body stood on end, chill coursing down her spine as his voice huffed warm breath against her neck. It wasn’t Owen. Claire tried to pull away but his arm around her was too tight. She struggled none the less, resisting his hold that only grew tighter with every wriggle she made.

‘Owen!’ She tried to be quiet, tried not to draw any attention to herself while she was tip-toeing the halls alone. Caught by an unknown assailant, she threw her earlier caution to the wind. With eyes squeezed closed, she hoped Owen was near enough to hear her cries. ‘Owen!’

The other man, wearing a uniform Claire didn’t recognise, shoved her against the wall allowing Claire to turn and face him. He had a heavy hand on her hip, his grip too tight and unforgiving. She squeezed the grip of the dagger Owen entrusted to her, rolling it between her sweaty palm before Claire pulled her arm back. She felt the metal snag against the man’s skin, her eyes closed again as he gasped, the dagger dragging across his throat and spurting hot blood across her face. He stumbled back, still standing when she opened her eyes, refusing to give up. He lunged at her, a hand on his throat but life was leaving his body, draining his energy quickly as he fell at her feet.

Claire didn’t move. She pressed her back against the cold wall and held her breath as she listened to the man’s haggard breathing fade out, gaping on the floor. She kicked at him after a minute, toes pushing at his shoulder and finding the body lifeless.

There was a shake in her fingers, a rattle that climbed up her arms and shook across her shoulders. She had never killed before. Never taken a life. Her father never let her take a sword or a bow into a more practical setting. Claire only had wooden figures to practice on and Merrick’s men. She was not allowed to kill her brother's soldiers. And now, there was a man, dead at her feet, his blood sticky on her skin and soaking through her gown. She could still feel the ghost of his breath on her neck and the rough sound of his voice climbing into her ears.  

Claire slipped to the floor, only a few feet from the man’s dead body. She didn’t cry, just gasped for breath as a fear response took over her. Claire had never considered herself squeamish but it was a different thing entirely to be covered in the thick red life of someone else. Her life was threatened and her protection nowhere to be found, it was reasonable that she took it into her own hands.

Time passed right by her, indistinguishable as the night moved on heading no signs of if it was closer to morning than not. The hall was stone cold, shivering breeze gliding past her only making her body rattle harder.

Despite the man’s intentions, she had killed him, taken his life in order to keep her body hers, her mind untouched and her sanity clear. The latter two were damaged, Claire could feel them sitting high in her throat, threatening to pull on her gag reflex. Her mind was shaken, her sanity unhinged and despite knowing there were lives sitting somewhere in the castle; she felt inexplicably alone.

‘Claire?’ She only flinched at the voice, caught too far in her head to recognise the sound of her husband. ‘Oh Claire.’ He dropped to his knees in front of her, wasting no time in pulling the woman against his bare chest, his large hand on her face. Her hair was a mess as he tried to push long strands out of the way, loose and caught between their bodies as he fought with it. She snapped, something inside of her breaking as a sob slipped past her throat and filled the hallway with a desperate sound.

Her tears were fat and hot, running down her cheeks in steady streams. Her hands gripped ahold of him, wrapping around his bicep and refusing to let go. She waited for him to remind her that he said to stay put, his scolding tone acting as if she wouldn’t be in this situation if she had just hidden like a good little girl. He didn’t. Instead, his large hands pulled her head away from the comfort of his left pectoral so he could read her expression. She felt her eyelashes flutter, her mind focusing on the feel of his thumbs stroking the blood off her face as nothing but concern radiated from his green eyes.

‘I didn’t want to just sit there. I’m not helpless.’ She said, conviction unsure as her hands shook violently. ‘I killed him.’ Her eyes were drawn to the lifeless body that had been her doing as Owen tried to help her to her feet. ‘I killed him, Owen.’ She struggled to stand, legs shaking as her fingers kept a death grip on his arm.

‘Did he touch you?’ Owen asked, crouching so he was at her height. Claire nodded, mind drifting to the pain that still hovered over her hip. ‘Then, it was justified.’ Owen watched her, when the sun was shining that afternoon she was as solid as the blade of his sword. It marvelled him that she had softened. If he was being really honest, he adored that she could shift and change. He wished the circumstances were different but valued that she was willing to experience the full spectrum of emotion and was unafraid to share it with him.

He knew she could walk, even on her shaking legs but there was something about the state she was in that encouraged Owen to scoop her into his arms. She tried to protest, her efforts weak and short as she gave in.

‘The attack came off the coast.’ He told her, tilting his cheek to the right so it touched her forehead. Owen stepped over the body in the hall, anger flaring in his gut as he tried to ignore the bloody handprint around his wife’s tiny ankle. ‘Restless men who thought they could strike at us and therefore affect the beating heart of The Four Kingdoms. They knew you were here. The second I heard you were the target I came to get you. Scared the shit out of me to see that room empty.’ She felt her skin turning cold at the realisation that these men were there for her. What had she done to them, other than being the daughter of Rickon Dearing? Claire cuddled closer to her husband, arms tightening their grip around his neck as she buried her head against his pec. She did not think she needed a man to protect her but she was glad she had Owen. ‘They’ve all been apprehended.’ Twenty men, still breathing, and a dozen dead. ‘It’s not going to happen again, Claire, I won’t let it.’ There was supposed to be an action in place in case of emergencies but with no women in the castle beyond staff, it went out the window after Beth Grady died. They had no one left to protect in the events of an invasion.

She shivered like a child caught in the snow, sitting alone on the ottoman in their room as he ran a bath. Owen didn’t know what else to do. He wanted her out of her bloody nightgown and the red off her skin. He could have called for Zara but did not want to disturb the girl. Claire flinched every time a voice sounded outside of their chambers. Owen had to keep reminding her they were Grady soldiers picking up the bodies of those who intruded on her home. He even brought them into the room, quietly, so they could introduce themselves and give their lady the best smiles their gruff faces would allow.

He didn’t know how he knew that Zara added gardenia rose petals to his wife’s bath or that smooth pellets of rosewood joined them. He noticed the smells hiding away in a drawer he had opened accidentally and recognised them immediately as the scent of his wife. Owen couldn’t pretend he knew of their healing properties along with the other things he had seen Claire slather on her skin or the whispered transactions of things he never saw, quite voices promising his wife it would help them to have a baby. He focused on the good smells, what he knew to be Claire, earthy and sweet, smelling of the forest and extravagant flowers. He loved that even in scent she seemed to match his life.

She let him help her was the blood from her skin, starting with the threatening mark around her ankle. He did not join her in the water, only reached wide arms in with a soft cloth disappearing into the petals. ‘Feeling better, Princess?’ He asked tone light with a smirk on his lips despite his aching heart. The pet name was not lost on Claire, nor was the fondness in which he used it. She nodded softly.

There was an angry bruise blooming on her hip and he knew it had nothing to do with their sparring match that afternoon. It came from her assailant. She had not seen the worst of brutality but a first kill could be torturous on any. Claire played tough and he had no doubt that she was a strong woman. But, she was also nineteen-years-old, still, a girl newly married into the world after always being protected. Her father and brother let her spar because it was under a controlled circumstance. Never would they allow her to be in harm's way, just as Owen would try to keep up the same protection. But, in the East, as his wife, he was willing to slacken the reins on her life. If Claire wanted to join him on a hunt she was more than able — and welcome — if she could stomach the conscious of a murder. He had no doubt that she would after this.

‘I think it’s “my queen”, to you.’ She was recovering. Her hand broke the surface of the water to touch his bearded cheek. Owen met her halfway, their kiss gentle and sweet different from the hurried sloppy movements they had shared before falling asleep. Once again, he was reminded of both sides of Claire, madly in love with each.

He left her for five minutes, to check on the soldiers who kept guard, assuring all was quiet and safe in Castle Grey for the rest of the night. When he returned, Claire’s skin was pink from the bath, the room smelling heavenly of her scent as she sat cross-legged in the middle of their bed in nothing but one of his too large shirts. The girls were back in their presence, two of them curled at the foot of the bed, while a third lingered by the bathroom. Blue was by his side, never one to leave him for too long a time. Claire’s hair was cascading in waves down her shoulders and nearly into her lap as she brushed at the tangles grown from sex and sleeping with her hair loose. Her bustle with an intruder didn’t help it any, nor did the messy bun she threw it in when Owen drew her a bath.

‘Here,’ he reached his arm out, quietly asking for the brush as took a step towards the bed. It was curiosity that was getting the better of her, biting her teeth into her bottom lip in the same way Claire did when she was turned on. She handed him the brush without a fight, watching him with eyes only as he sat beside her.

Claire moved so she had her back to him, her hands flicking her hair over her shoulders for him as she waited.

Never had anyone brushed her hair as gently as Owen Grady. It caught on a few strands here and there but he always whispered a quiet sorry whenever it happened. Claire could count on two hands the number of people who had brushed her hair and the number of reasons why she preferred to do it herself. Even Zara could be a little rough but they had known each other since they were girls and Claire was willing to forgive her helpful friend. But Owen, a woman could get used to that kind of treatment from her husband.

‘How do you know what you’re doing?’ She asked, usual tone back in place as Owen grinned at the sound of his wife’s return.

He hummed, willing to tell her he didn’t just for her reaction. ‘Sarah. She used to cry like nothing else every time her hair was pulled. Would come running to me wherever I was — no matter what I was doing — and would insist I do her hair because I was gentle with her. She taught me to braid too. Can I show you?’ He could feel her hesitate only a few seconds before she nodded, high sound in her throat.

Just like with a brush, Owen’s large hands were gentle. The very same hands that killed men that night, that fed the horses in the stables, that hunted big game for the thrill of it, and the very same hands that had scooped her up so delicately and drew her a bath. She sat still, trying to picture the concentration on his face while she waited for him to finish. When Owen was done gliding his fingers through her red locks, he slid the braid over her shoulder and placed an easy kiss on the side of her neck. She melted into him without issue, hands running over the braid as praised his handy work. It was nothing intricate. He had told her as much, explaining that she only needed something simple to sleep in, enough to keep her hair out of her way and away from his face.

‘C’mon, sleepy girl,’ Owen squeezed her, not oblivious to the tired sag of her body and his own eager need to climb back under the covers and curl around his wife knowing she was safe. ‘Time for bed.’ She nodded but didn’t move, the two of them sitting in the others embrace for a few minutes before Owen tugged at the sheets around her.  

She waited for him to settle before Claire curled herself into his chest, her head tucked under his chin. Sleep found them both quickly, Claire drifting off as soon as her eyes closed as Owen remained away for a little longer. He held her, thumb stroking a line on her arm as he reflected on the fear that plummeted his heart to his stomach the second the castle’s assailants admitted why they were there. He knew Claire was a target for his father, but he never realised that with having her outside of The Citadel she became an easier target to the old king who had only ever kept his youngest close to his heart. If they wanted to hurt The Keepers of the Kingdom, hurting Claire would have been the right way to start.

Owen had vowed angrily, in front of the assailants, his men, his staff and his father that if any harm was directed towards Claire again, and if anyone who wished her arm was allowed access to his wife they would have something else coming.

When he found their chambers empty he feared the worst. Spotting her, bloody in the hallway, still breathing, her attacker dead at her feet, Owen had never felt that much relief in his life. He had not realised how much she meant to him until her life was truly threatened. Claire Dearing had crawled under his skin and he was fine with that. Life or death, he felt like he could fight the world with Claire by his side.

[entergamingxp]

Star Renegades Offers A Stellar Take On The Indie Rogue-lite Genre

July 22, 2020 9:00 AM EST

Star Renegades is entering the saturated market of pixel-art indie rogue-lites, although its depth and string of interesting systems should be enough to make it strong enough against its competitors.

Pixel art has been undergoing somewhat of a renaissance within the indie scene for the last few years now. Massive Damage, Inc.’s upcoming game Star Renegades is part of this resurgence. It takes its own spin on the artstyle and gears it towards an interesting sci-fi setting, looking very good while doing so.

I had the opportunity to go hands-on with the first couple of missions in Star Renegades and from what I played, it’s an interesting rogue-lite strategy RPG full of varied systems, quirky characters, and slightly inconsistent dialogue.

The early moments of the game set you up for a big revenge story, crossing multiple realities in order to exact vengeance on invading forces. The game quickly, however, seems to forget about the story in favor of witty dialogue exchanges between characters and its interesting gameplay loop, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Strategy games aren’t always known for the best stories, so I’m hoping this continues throughout and is just supplementary to the gameplay.

The core gameplay of Star Renegades is split into two parts, exploring and battling, with each section littered with various systems. You enter your scenario on a randomly generated map that has rebellion forces scattered throughout who are trying to impede you from completing your goal.

The missions I played in this build weren’t particularly creative or different from anything else I’ve played within the strategy genre, but what did differentiate Star Renegades from its counterparts was the battle system.

When you encounter foes, you enter (with quite a long jarring delay at points) what the game calls a “deterministic combat system.” Everything within battle takes place on a timeline displayed at the top of the screen. The timeline is completely transparent, showing you how and when the giant robot enemies plan to attack, allowing you to then strategically plan your turn. Some of your attacks hit harder but will fall further down the timeline leaving you open, while others are quicker but are likely to deal less damage. Sometimes, it’s also just best to not attack at all.

The combat in Star Renegades is extremely tactical and is all about being opportunistic and having a solid but adaptable plan.

The most basic, but effective method I found was simply to attack before the enemies could attack me, which in doing so led to landing critical hits. By attacking first you could also stagger and then break the enemies, with each attack pushing the adversary further down the timeline. This lets you knock them off it and stop them from attacking this turn. The combat in Star Renegades is extremely tactical and is all about being opportunistic and having a solid but adaptable plan.

Like most RPG battles, Star Renegades has strengths, weaknesses, and immunities system incorporated into it. This adds yet another layer of depth to combat. Yes, your light attack will be quicker and allow you to hit first, but it will deal significantly less damage to your enemy and might, therefore, be counterproductive to your overall strategy. Battles also have combo attacks, which are stronger moves that take place between two of your party members whose relationships have been leveled up by the campfire (I’ll touch on this later).

Not only are the battles incredibly deep system-wise, but they also look and sound great too. The attack animations are nice and the sound design is fantastic with each move or enemy death sounding slightly different to the last – it’s really damn cool.

While the battle system is unique (at least as far as any game I’ve played) some of Star Renegades’ other features are borrowed or at least heavily influenced by other games. The opposing rebellion forces have “adversaries” – enemies that are unique and get promoted, evolve, and grow whenever they defeat you. It’s very much like the nemesis system from the Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor/War games. It’s a system which when first released I (as well as many in the industry) thought would become much more commonplace within games. However, this seems like one of the first instances I’ve seen of it outside of its originating series, and most importantly, it has been implemented well.

Depending on what you are tackling you may also have to camp partway through or at the end of a mission. This is a system that, to me at least, feels reminiscent of camping within Darkest Dungeon. This time though you use cards to determine your actions. When you set up camp you have a predetermined amount of action points which allows you to play cards and use up these points to benefit your party. Cards range from healing and armor repairing to relationship building. The relationship-building cards help boost the affinity between two party members which in turn helps improve the aforementioned combos in battle. I’m not sure of the necessity of it being cards rather than character-based skills, but it’s not a huge gripe.

Other influences within the game are slightly more referential but are welcome nonetheless, with small nods to Super Smash Bros. and Star Wars creeping in. Most importantly of all, you can pet the dog in Star Renegades.

There are a couple of further systems in Star Renegades based around leveling up. The main system is simple and sees you earning DNA after every battle and then investing that into leveling up your party members. Secondary to that, when you return to base, you can spend your research points, earned by beating or damaging enemies, on new heroes, upgrades to existing heroes, and perks for your party.

Star Renegades states that there will be 13 different classes at launch. While the game itself is deep and varied, I didn’t particularly see that in the classes I got to use. Visually and personality-wise, each one is unique but I didn’t see a huge difference in play style. I’m willing at this point, based on how many systems this game has, to chalk it up to the fact my party members were all level one and at the beginning of the game, and the more they level up the more they’ll evolve and differentiate themselves. The differing personalities added some light relief and fun dialogue in what is otherwise a thematically dark game, although, at times, the conversations could feel quite contrived.

Overall, what I got to play of Star Renegades showed a deep and complex strategy RPG with some genuinely interesting gameplay systems integrated throughout. The systems and gameplay loop should be strong enough to support what I feel is, at least at this early stage, a slightly lukewarm and unoriginal story. The two missions I played have done more than enough to intrigue me and have definitely made me want to see how the game evolves before it comes out on PC and consoles later this year. It’s certainly one to keep an eye out for.

July 22, 2020 9:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/star-renegades-offers-a-stellar-take-on-the-indie-rogue-lite-genre/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=star-renegades-offers-a-stellar-take-on-the-indie-rogue-lite-genre

[communistattack]

Thunder and Plague in the Amethyst Realm - Bat Rep 1 - Skirmish. 50 Renown

The table was set following the terrain setup of the core rules for Warhammer: Age of Sigmar, and the stage was set to begin the first battle for our campaign! Here is how it unfolded...

Our table...

Our warband’s set up as per the mission from the Skirmish book (Clash at Dawn), Battle will commence!

Turn 1 - Stormcast - The game began with Lord Ulyan casting Divine Light upon himself allowing him to reroll 1′s to hit in combat, meanwhile the lonesome Retributor Prime charges straight in to a pair of Blightkings in his range, caring not for their Plague addled weapons, and proceeds to fail his attacks and get thumped back in return.

At the same time, Lord Ulyan and his Liberator allies charge a separate Blightking and with a vicious combo of Storm-forged blades, dispatch it swiftly, while the Liberator Prime duels with a Plaguebearer hoping to bring forth more of it’s kin in to Shyish.

Turn 1 - Nurgle - Tendril dispatches a Liberator effortlessly with an Arcane Bolt, using the might of Nurgle to take this Sigmarite out of the fight.

A blightking, through the storm, makes out a fellow patron of Nurgle in distress, and dashes to aid the Plaguebearer being accosted by the Liberator Prime, and inflicts a wound on the warrior of Sigmar. The Stormcast attempts to dispatch the Plaguebearer but the storm is too violent, and they cannot land a successful blow on the Daemon.

The Retributor does his best to fend off the 2 Blightkings he is engaged with, but one of them causes a wound with it’s blight blade.

Turn 2 - Nurgle - During the frantic battle, the Rampant Disease begins to take hold of the Stormcast Eternals while they fend for their lives in the realm of Death. The Liberator Prime cannot bear the weight of the disease gripping him, and slumps down in a heap of silvered Sigmarite. Next to him, the Grandblade, still wet with the ichor of the Blightking he slew, began to disolve and melt, trickling down in the handle of the weapon and on to the armour of the Hallowed Knight. A moistened pop is heard, as the warrior within, Garrun, is overcome by the disease he wasn’t prepared to face. All this within swinging distance of Lord Ulyan, who can be seen is struggling against the pox that is killing his warriors, but will hold until his sacred work is done.

Tendril, unable to detect any friend or foe near him, drudges forward in search of those he can fight with or against, wet gagging heard beneath his mask as he remembers the Liberator he destroyed, his Nurgling ally, Scribbles, hastily following, picking up dropped scrolls in pursuit.

Lord Ulyan collects himself to see a Blightking barrel towards him in a flurry of blows, repeated efforts and strikes to disarm and decapitate the Lord Veritant, but his Blade and faith are strong, and none find their mark. 

Sadly, the Retributor succumbs to his wounds, but not before wounding a Blightking on his way down to the ashes.

Turn 2 - Stormcast - Lord Ulyan holds his staff high and prays for the Divine Light of Sigmar upon him, it is answered in kind and in furious retribution, he slays an attacking Blightlord with a single decapitating swing, while the Plaguebearer continues to be a menace to him, and catches the Veritant with it’s plague slick blade.

Turn 3 - Nurgle - Tendril, still seeking fresh material to bless, continues across the battlefield, marching through the storm that still rages across this heated and hotly sought over battlefield.

Not far away, the Plaguebearer attempts to strike Lord Ulyan again, but misses his mark and pays dearly for his error, as his head is lopped from his body, which melts away like hot puss from a lanced wound.

Turn 3 - Stormcast - Lord Veritant Ulyan, now clear of foes, marches forward in search of respite from the storm, his wounds afflicting him, but not leaving him redundant from the fighting. 

Turn 4 - Stormcast - Lord Ulyan, catches sight of his foe, a fly headed monstrosity with a sceptre of filth and plague, Ulyan holds his staff high, summoning Sigmar to guide his fury, but alas, the storm’s potency denies him guidance. He marches fureiously towards his foe, and is livid to find nothing there, at the end of his stride. The storm has decieved him...

Turn 4 - Nurgle - Tendril, seeing his disorientated opponent, launches a stream of corruption at Ulyan, just before it lands, Ulyan swings his judgement blade and denies his foe this victory, as the corruption is purified upon Sigmarite blade! It was then, Ulyan was beset upon by both Tendril and the last remaining Blightking, Blade of Judgement at hand, he denies the Sorcerer a successful blow against him, but the Blightking lands a hit, and receives one in return as Ulyan roars in retribution at the plague now coursing through him.

Turn 5 - Stormcast - Ulyan, furious at the taint surrounding him and infecting him, swings his Judgement Blade and slays the last Blightking at his heel, it’s pus ridden innards sizzling at the touch of the silvered blade. He continues to strike at Tendril, but the storm whirling on, and the suffering Ulyan is bearing at the hands of the plague wounds suffered, cannot land a hit against his folly. It is now just Ulyan and Tendril. Order against Chaos, Good and Evil, Pure and Taint... 

Turn 5 - Nurgle - Tendril summons forth plague ridden energies to finally dispatch his wounded foe, but Ulyan, defiant until his duty fulfilled, denies his adversaries spell with the will of the God-King! 

“You... shall not defeat me with such... sorcery!... Chaos witch!” Sputtered Ulyan, feeling his wounds begin to overcome him... The eyes of his foe, red and insect like, twitched in a manner of curiosity and bemusement as to how this armoured warrior was still drawing breath... The last thing Ulyan saw of this encounter, was Tendril bring his Rotwood Staff high in to the storm addled air, and down upon his helm... Knocked unconscious, but believed dead, Ulyan lay at the feet of the Plague Caster, who turned away and made for a break in the storm, ahead of his victory against the God of Thunder and his misled followers...

Thus ends our first battle of the campaign! Came down to the wire by the end of it, witch a few rolls leaving it to go either way.

The first match goes to Nurgle. But more fighting is yet to come. Stay tuned to see how this victory affects the Maggotkin in preparation for the next battle!

[daleisgreat]

25 Years of PSone - Flashback Special!

I am back with another videogame anniversary special this week. In last week’s flashback on the Saturn & Virtual Boy I ran down all the other platforms that had milestone anniversaries this year. Of course I realized I neglected one days after posting it, and realized last month marked the 15th anniversary of the PSP in North America. I was originally going to combine my PSP memories with the PSone as we approach its 25th North American anniversary, but as you will soon see, I have quite a lot to say about the PSone, so it looks like the PSP will be touched on in the near future. With that said, hopefully I can grant you a brief reprieve from the real world times we are in if you indulge me while I reflect back on Sony’s unforgettable console debut in the gaming world.

I will start off with the PSone, which was originally abbreviated to the 1990s stateside gaming press as the PSX. When the PS2 hit in 2000, Sony retroactively changed the PSX branding into the PSone with the requisite late-gen slim design having that official branding. The PSX was later a whole separate PS2 variant only available in Japan, so the PSone labeling helped clear up any potential confusion with the Japanese PSX. As I mentioned in my flashback last week, I was initially not on board with the dawn of 32-bit systems after the initial polygonal games like Star Fox and Virtua Racing appeared ugly to my then 11 year-old eyes, and after trying the Saturn and PSone at retail kiosks shortly after their launches, I was bamboozled at the concept of ‘loading’ and being forced to wait for gameplay after not experiencing that on nearly all 8 and 16-bit games. The only bright spot I can recall in the first couple years of the PSone was having fun at my cousin’s blasting each other to bits in the excellent combat driving game, Twisted Metal. For the first few years of the PSone’s lifecycle in America, I easily dismissed it and stuck with my NES, SNES and GameBoy in those early years of the PSone because that was all my family had back then and they understandably did not want to cough up a few hundred more dollars to upgrade to a whole other platform. For the Christmas of 1997, after enough pleading with them to upgrade to a new gaming system I made my case for the N64 and was delighted to see it awaiting under the Christmas tree. That was due to my gaming preferences at the time and it being a four player powerhouse that worked ideally with my family and friends and also due to not getting my first job late in that console cycle it lead to me siding with it as my preferred console that generation. I do not regret it, but I did not miss out entirely on the PSone during this era as I had a couple friends around this time that got PSones instead and I wound up playing a fair amount of Sony’s first console hanging out at my other friend’s households.

The early NFL GameDay and Madden titles were the first big PSone games I played regularly against a friend. This video does a nice quick job explaining how the two were fierce competitors in early years of the PSone. In 1998 my friend Rich upgraded to a PSone and the bulk of my PSone playing the next two to three years wound up being at his place. We played a ton of 16-bit Madden in the years preceding, so naturally the first PSone game that was our go to was Madden NFL ‘97. It only looked like a slightly touched up version of the 16-bit games and still stuck with marginally bigger and detailed sprites (or incredibly weak looking polygonal footballers, it is hard to tell when looking at videos) when compare to the 16-bit Madden titles. I recall us then switching the football games up with Sony’s NFL game, NFL GameDay ‘98 for a little bit of variety, and being impressed with its superior polygonal graphics. That all changed a few months later when Rich got the then-brand new Madden NFL ‘99 that holiday season. That was a landmark game for the series, and it righteously blew us away when EA Sports delivered a brand new polygonal graphics engine to compete with GameDay, and its graphics and gameplay blew GameDay away. Madden NFL ‘99 also debuted the multi-season Franchise mode that is a staple in single player Madden features today, and was revolutionary back then. Rich and I played Madden NFL ‘99 regularly and it was our new favorite pigskin game that gen.

Rich and I would play a lot of other competitive multiplayer games over the next couple of years. I have good memories of us renting games on a weekend night and tearing each other up in games like Knockout Kings 2000 and NHL Rock the Rink. After I got my first job the next year I would occasionally purchase a PSone game I wanted to try to bring over to play. The N64 AKI wrestling games we played to death, and I wanted to try out what the PSone grapplers brought to the table. I recall us detesting the unplayable trash that was WCW Nitro (minus its laugh-riot of character select screen taunts), but having a pretty fun time with the deep roster and gameplay options available in the first WWF Smackdown game. I remember getting really into ECW after discovering their first wave of DVDs in 2000, and eagerly picked up ECW Anarchy Rulz. Looking back, that aging game engine from Acclaim was barely playable, but we managed to have a blast with the absurd gameplay modes available at the time like barbwire and brimstone deathmatches. After hearing how the gaming press was giving it game of the year-caliber buzz, I took a chance and picked up Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 on PSone after I could not track down the harder-to-find Dreamcast version, and it worked out for the better because that game became an institution with Rich and I as we played countless bouts of Trick Attack and HORSE against each other. I could not hold a candle most times against Rich, but could care less since the gameplay was that lethal combo of accessible and fun, and that THPS2 had one of the all-time best licensed soundtracks, with a few selections like “Bring the Noise,” “Blood Brothers” and “Guerilla Radio” that remain in my running playlists today. I know, I know, you probably do not want to read entirely about sports and wrestling games, but for most of the 90s that made up a majority of what I consumed, but rest assured I am now moving on to some of the acclaimed single player titles the PSone is renowned for. My friend and podcast co-host Chris is a big fan of RPGs and I would chill at his place and enjoy watching him play through the story of Final Fantasy VII, Star Ocean, Grandia and Final Fantasy Tactics. Chris tried to help me wrap my head around them and guided me through first couple hours into FFVII and Tactics, but I did not have the attention span for those steep learning curves of their complex battle systems, especially Tactics. I recall watching my brother get wrapped up in FFVII and Legend of Dragoon and will never forget his anger at repeatedly failing against Seipheroth in the final FFVII boss battle, but will equally never forget his glee at finally conquering him. I finally made an honest effort at putting time into a new FFVII playthrough a couple years ago on my Vita, and I managed to make it out of Midgar which I considered a huge accomplishment. I only made it a little ways past that however and never got past that tall creature in a marsh I later found out was one of those battles you were not supposed to win. Speaking of FFVII, I played the demo recently for the newly released FFVII Remake and it looks dazzling and it sounds like that first installment of the Remake is getting high marks all around, which is great to hear for one of the most identifiable and best-selling games on the PSone.

I re-uploaded this podcast from my archives where we breakdown nearly all RPGs on the PSone. Brought on a lot of RPG-vets for this episode which yielded one of my favorite episodes in our near-200 episode run! I remember hearing the legendary FFVII vs. FFVIII fan debates over the years. For the first couple of years after its release, Final Fantasy VIII was almost universally panned by gaming mags and the newly emerging online gaming media at the time before it slowly built up a vocal contingent of defenders similar to how Luigi’s Mansion got its fanbase once the ‘it is not Super Mario’ hubbub at the GCN launch gradually died down. I remember when my brother finished FFVII and with his birthday approaching understandably wanting to play the next one right away and him pleading with my mom for FFVIII for his birthday. This was a year or two after it was already out and I remember warning my brother it was not received that well, and he blew off my warnings and persisted with his birthday wishes for it. He eventually procured Squall’s journey for his birthday, and I will never forget it asking him several days later for his first update on it and him furiously responding, ‘That game sucks, I already traded it in to Gamestop!’

To put a bow on RPGs on the PSone, I would like to nudge you towards another podcast I recently uploaded from my archives in time for this flashback where we did a multi-part history of RPGs special, with the PSone getting its own episode since it had so many highly-rated RPGs. As you have read by now, I am no expert at this genre, but Chris and a few other friends I brought on are and it lead to a thorough discussion breaking down nearly every major and minor RPG on the system! It was a fun roundtable I will never forget with the first half dedicated to passionately dissecting all the Final Fantasy titles on the system to the back half making sure nearly all other PSone RPGs get their due. I have embedded it in this article for your convenience, or you can click or press here to queue it up for later. Another multi-episode special of On Tap saw us focusing on the history of comic book games. I brought on longtime friend and comic book expert Matt for the perfect co-host for this series. He took his research for this line of episodes remarkably seriously and tracked down and bought any comic book games he was missing for each system to fill in any gaps and by the time we wrapped up our comic book games history series he purchased nearly every comic book licensed game there was. When it came time to cover PSone and Saturn comic book games we spent a weekend trying out many of these games Matt tracked down online. With the exception of the excellent Marvel-licensed fighting games by Capcom and a handful of other titles, a vast majority of the rest were a dumpster fire of barely playable platformers. I vividly recall Fantastic Four, The Crow: City of Angels, Blade and Hellboy: Asylum Seeker standing out as the cream of the crap. We suffered through a lot of dreck that weekend, but it was worth and it culminated in an episode where a lot of ragging was done on some atrocious games. I do not have that episode re-uploaded from the archives as of this writing, but I plan to eventually and will embed it here soon so you can experience our pain!UPDATE 6-23-2020 - I finally uploaded the podcast covering PSone comic book games to my YouTube channel; it is embedded at the bottom of this special, or you can click or press here to check it out!

The primary reason I never got a PSone during its lifecycle was because when I landed my first job in 1999 and finally had disposable income, it was either announced or much-rumored by that point that the highly anticipated PS2 would have backwards compatibility with the PSone library so I held off on getting the system. I would however purchase a handful of PSone games in the year leading up to the PS2 launch knowing that they would work on the PS2. I loved SNES Street Racer, so PSone Street Racer was one of my first PSone games, and it had a nice bump up in visuals and somehow pulled off split screen multiplayer for up to eight players! The 3DO version of Road Rash got a nice performance boost on the PSone, but like the 3DO version also does not have support for its killer licensed soundtrack during gameplay. Sadly the PSone’s exclusive follow up, Road Rash: Jailbreak failed to deliver, and the beloved franchise has rarely been seen from since. Street Fighter Collection: Volume 2 was how I first experienced the turbo speed and hyper combos of Super Street Fighter II: Turbo that I fondly remember doing regular match-ups against my classmate Josh! The wrestling nut in me experimented with a couple other exclusive wrestling games on the system. Power Move Pro Wrestling was a decent early polygonal wrestling game, which I could have seen being addicted to if I played it when it originally released in 1996. WWF WrestleMania: The Arcade Game and WWF In Your House were mildly entertaining Mortal Kombat-esque takes on wrestling games, but needless to say I stuck with the N64 for my main wrestling games fix during this era. I loved both Destruction Derby titles on PSone back during this time, but I revisited them briefly in prep for this flashback and am sad to report they have not aged the best and I forgot how loose they controlled and how some inadvertent spinouts could lead to a quick demise. Another oddball title was the Kurt Warner backed Arena Football Unleashed. It is Midway taking the Blitz engine and giving it an Arena-rules makeover, but with more vicious hits and tackles that the NFL would not endorse in their games.

I want to make sure to get a couple other quick props to a few other assorted PSone memories. Loaded was a fun overhead two player action title to mindlessly blast away in coop. I was impressed with Blizzard’s port of Diablo and how well it surprisingly handled the co-op action with not too many performance hiccups. Another PC hit series my brother and I dug, Delta Force did not make as smooth of a transition to PSone with Delta Force: Urban Warfare being a bit of a choppy mess. The hit multiplayer series Worms I first discovered on PSone with Chris introducing me to the series with Worms 2 and I instantly became a fan of its fantastical weaponry like Banana Bombs and exploding sheep. One of the scant few times I got my mom to play games with me was knocking out several rounds of Jeopardy 2nd Edition where it was then impressive to hear every question…errr answer audibly read by studio host Johnny Gilbert. On one of the annual 24-hour Extra Life charity drives I participated in, a friend brought over one of the strangest PSone titles ever in Incredible Crisis, to begin to describe its zaniness would be impossible, so I will point you towards this video instead. The aforementioned Capcom Marvel fighting games you cannot go wrong with, but a decent alternative was the pair of X-Men: Mutant Academy fighting games from Activision.I remember they had Professor X as a hidden character and going to town dishing out damage with his array of wheelchair attacks! I never got into the hardcore sim Gran Turismo titles, but it was another title that I would be fine watching Chris show off its then best-in-show graphics and presentation of realistic cars and driving physics. Finally, the Tekken 2 and Tekken 3 were in regular rotation at friends. Like Virtua Fighter 2 on Saturn they proved that polygonal fighters were here to stay, and I remember being stunned how good Tekken 3 looked when next to its arcade counterpart and how Namco squeezed everything they could out of the PSone with that title.

It was a different time for WWF games in the early years of the PSone as this video elucidates how a Mortal Kombat take on a wrestling game came to be. PSone and PS2 owners were spoiled with a constant supply of demo discs courtesy of OPM and Playstation Underground. I remember Chris keeping up with the demos and him constantly popping in the latest one whenever I swung over. The Playstation Underground discs especially stood out since they were essentially a virtual magazine, complete with mini-documentaries and interview features, cheat codes and content unlocked save files. I have been able to experience these again with Giant Bomb doing an exquisite job regularly reliving this era with their ‘Demo Derby’ video series I give a high recommendation for everyone to check out. I also remember the final years of PSone’s lifecycle that introduced the concept of the $10 budget game that saw dozens of low-budget games release brand new for at that price point. A lot of these were utter trash like All-Star Slammin’ D-Ball where I discovered it is possible to screw up a dodge ball game, but there was an occasional gem sprinkled in there, and it was part of the fun chancing one when randomly perusing the racks at Best Buy on a routine payday visit back then.

My last dive into PSone gaming was downloading the various PSone classics released digitally on PS3. According to good ‘ol reliable Wikipedia, there were 265 PSone Classics released for PS3 download in North America. I downloaded around 30 of them. Most of them were $6 each, with a few multi-disc games going for $10 I think, but they frequently went on sale for half off and it was a great way to track down games I always wanted for a bargain, and having most of them being cross-compatible on the Vita was a handy bonus too! I booted up a few of them prepping up for this, and a big standout for me were the five volumes of the NAMCO Museum catching my eye with their impressive explore-able museum filled with all types of fan service that made me get a lot more than I expected when revisiting arcade classics like Galaga and Pole Position. One day I will make time for the other downloaded PSone Classics in my PS3 library I have long neglected and heard nothing but great things about like both Mega Man Legends titles and the pair of Suikoden games. Speaking of PSone Classics, that brings me to Sony’s entry into the console-mini market a couple years ago with its critical and commercial flop, the PSone Classic. I love my NES, SNES and Genesis mini consoles, but I avoided Sony’s version with its surprise amount of issues that are far too numerous to breakdown here. From what I understand, a lot of it can be resolved by modding the system, but ultimately I prefer having my PS3 be my own personal PSone Classic. My PS3-slim model still plays all my PSone discs, and combine that with my own curated PSone Classics I have downloaded on it and I see no need to upgrade to the PSone Classic and its Dual Shock-less controller.

I will wind down here by stating how I went until three or four years ago unexpectedly stumbling into procuring a physical PSone. I was helping a longtime co-worker move an old couch, and afterword we were having a quick breakfast when she suddenly had a lightbulb-turned-on look dawn on her and she exclaimed, ‘hey, you like games, right?’ I responded that I do, and she went on to say how her son left a couple boxes of games in her closet and insisted I take them for helping her out. I felt it was a bit much for moving a couch, but she persisted and double checked with her son after a quick text. Upon opening up the couple of shoeboxes when I got home I discovered it wound up being the PSone-slim, with two controllers and about 20 games mostly of the Crash Bandicoot and alternative sports variety which was fine by me! The PSone/Saturn/N64 generation I remember being a crazy ‘fanboy war’ era. Aside from the standard lunchroom verbal jabs that were exchanged, that generation in the mid-to-late 90s was when the Internet, online forums, boards and messenger programs became ubiquitous and only fueled the fire. As stated above, I remember sticking by the N64 during this time, but over the years as you have just read, I came around on the PSone over the years. I may have touched on an unorthodox lineup of games compared to what people that were playing the PSone during its active retail timespan, but I do not regret any of the PSone ‘classics’ I experienced one bit. Please check back here later this year for more Sony platform flashback specials on the PSP and PS2, and if you want more retro gaming flashbacks then please take a look underneath here for a list of my previous flashbacks!

Here is the podcast I did covering all of the comic book games released on the PSone, along with other systems from that era like the Saturn and N64. My Other Gaming Flashbacks Dreamcast 20th Anniversary GameBoy 30th Anniversary Genesis 30th Anniversary Saturn and Virtual Boy 25th Anniversaries TurboGrafX-16 30th Anniversary and 32-X 25th Anniversary

[hipandcriticalblog]

Til Death Do Us Part

Written​ ​By:​ ​Xavier​ ​Jones

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’ve grinded and hustled hard to make this moment possible. All my friends and family have gathered from the corners of the Earth to see me marry the love of my life. Some boys grow up with dreams of becoming men and trying every woman that crosses their path. Not me! I’ve waited all twenty-five years of my life to find a woman to love. Hold, cherish and build an empire with.

This finna be a breeze.

I remember the day we met like it’s happening now. At the tender age of seventeen. I sat in my dorm room, alone, hungrier than a hostage. Two options presented themselves to me. Step out my financial aid funded cell, make a right and visit the Student Union for a Philly cheesesteak and a helping of cheese fries. Or make a for an appointment at the student grocery store. For a price inflated pack of pizza rolls, chips and pop that were exclusive to the university. I got dinner and cut through the parking lot of the Science Building to make it home. A voice cut through the air like a frisbee and whacked me in the ears. “Hey you! Boy in the green shirt! Come help us take this stuff upstairs!”

I followed the voice like a cartoon character follows the scent of fresh baked goods. It belonged to a short woman with short hair and a caramel complexion. “Can you help us take this stuff upstairs?”

“Who’s us?” I asked, there was clearly one person standing in front of me and I’m sure this lady didn’t live in the freshmen dorms. “My daughter Lana, her lazy ass doesn’t want to get out of the car!”

She turned her back to me and walked across the parking lot. Of course, I followed her to a bright blue Chevy SUV. An exhausted girl that looked about my age lay tilted back in the passenger seat. The woman snatched the door open. “Lana get up and let’s go!” She turned to me. “What’s your name baby?”

“Aaron.”

“Aaron gonna help us take all your shit upstairs and he doesn’t have all day!”

Lana climbed out of the car in all her glory. I felt something shift in my thoughts and feelings before her feet touched the ground. “Hey.” She barked with perfect, wide hips and an ass that ate any pair of underwear for breakfast. Her facial features were tough but gentle as a draft in an open field. Everything shaped together a portrait of beauty on her brown face.

“Can you take this, this, this, and that. And this upstairs for me. Lana grabbed her purse and bookbag from the SUV. “I live on the fourth floor.” She lifted her head inviting my eyes to hers. A luscious shade of amber, like the fresh harvested honey. This, this, this, that and this included pounds of luggage, bags and cases. Once my mission was complete and all the bags in Lana’s room, we exchanged numbers.

She started as my math tutor, to my best friend. To my girlfriend to my fiancée. We held hands walking down the aisle and across the stage to receive honors for our Bachelor’s degrees. Now I’m waiting for her to walk down this aisle to become my wife.

I’m still waiting. And waiting, and waiting. Where is she?

It’s been two hours and I’ve been standing on the top of the altar with my hands in my pockets. “I don’t think she’s coming.” My best friend Rick tells me. Rick was my roommate my freshman year of college so he’s been there for all our ups and downs. “Just wait a little bit longer.” I retorted to him.

“It’s already been three hours.” The Reverend, the darkest man I’d ever seen in my life informs me. “You should give her a call.”

The pianist stopped playing. Both sides of the crowd start to get irritable, they whisper to each other in confused thoughts. Embarrassment is starting to settle in. Her voicemail is coming up every time I call her. I’m blocked on all forms of social media. What the fuck is going on? Embarrassment is flowing rampant through me now. The fabric of my mental state is beginning to unravel like a broken yo-yo.

“Where is that wanch!” My mother yells across the church. “My son didn’t pay for all of this and make these arrangements for this broad to not show up.” Lana’s mother wasn’t having that. “Shut up you stupid black bitch!” She walked across the church pews like a woman with a grudge and stood in my mother’s face. “If your son wasn’t such a weakling Lana would be here.”

Weakling? I thought Ms. Valorie loved me. Why is she calling me weak?

Her rant continued and the tension grew like a fire off a burning building. “Your son is a spineless motherfucking wimp that needs a backbone transplant!”

“Spineless?”

“Wimp?”

“What’s going on?”

“Where is she?”

Rick claps his hand against my shoulder. “Wedding or no wedding, there’s no use in letting all that good liquor go to waste.” The Reverend claps my opposite shoulder. “I agree with you young man.” He follows behind Rick. “I’m ready to drink!”

My mother whipped back and folded her hand over Ms. Valorie’s face. Her feet tangled together and she landed between the pews on my family’s side of the church. My aunties and girl cousins streamed kicks, punches, and elbows down on the mother of the woman I love. Beating her silly while humiliation and shame warps and bends my mind like a blanket in the wind. Lana’s family didn’t take the assault on Ms. Valorie with ice cream and cake. The Washington’s fled their side of the church and total utter chaos unfolded. I’m not sure if this day started off as a wedding or an hour comedy special for the Devil to broadcast on his trip down to Hell.

Everybody punched everybody. Children fought men. Women fought the elderly. The young snuck in hits on whoever they could. My Uncle Joe fell victim to a nasty three hit combo that left him sleeping. Ms. Valorie was able to get on her feet. Only to be knocked down harder by my grandmother. Lana’s grandmother, Eta was the only person out of the violence. Since, she was wheelchair bound and cursed with limited mobility. My younger cousins, the twins. Avis and Andrew pushed the back of the chair til it looked like a speeding hot wheels car. Grandma Eta was launched out of her seat and thrown into the frenzy of swinging limbs. I couldn’t stand to see this anymore. All of this was my fault. I walked down the aisle, becoming more numb with every step I took. Participating in the violence was never a thought of mine. Until I was clubbed in the back of the head and thrown on the floor.

The blow to the noggin did something to me. It took my shifting, unraveling thoughts and feelings, and wrapped them up in an unusual way. A way that changed me for the better, or worse all depends on who you ask. No longer am I unsure about the next move. I have a mission to complete and it’s damn sure going to get done when I handle my attacker. Lawrence, Lana’s baby brother by two years stands over me with the face of a winner. He slams his foot down in my chest. If I wasn’t in so much emotional strife and mental anguish I would’ve soaked in all the pain of the stomp. But his foot meant nothing to me. He came down again but at my face. I rolled over to avoid his foot. His knee accepted a hard kick from the two thousand dollar Ferragamo dress shoes that I didn’t want to buy. But Lana insisted I couldn’t stand on the altar to be her husband if I didn’t have the appearance of a prince. Lawrence doubled over and knelled on one knee, just like I did when I proposed to his sister. The heel of my shoe landed in his forehead like a dart in a bullseye. Lawrence explodes backward and lands on his back. He sprawls out like a starfish and doesn’t move.

I pray he doesn’t wake up.

A trail of blood follows behind me as I exit the event hall. The families continue to tear each other apart. The 2017 BMW X6 I got Lana as a wedding gift chirps as the doors unlock. Nobody in her family seems to know her whereabouts. But I know one person who does. Her best friend Tammy, who also didn’t show up at the wedding. The two sticks together like stank on shit. Tammy picks up on the first ring. “Hello.” She answers nervously. I put the car in gear and took off. “Where’s Lana?” I ask her concealing my anger. “She should be somewhere getting married.” Tammy responds with a bit more confidence. I don’t expect her to tell on her friend without a little persuasion so I stop wasting my time asking about Lana.

“Where are you?” I ask Tammy. “Home.” She tells me. I end the call and make a sharp U turn in the route of Tammy’s house.

The ride is too quiet, my thoughts are like acid frying me from the top down. I turn on a hip-hop station to fill in the emptiness. To my surprise, a country song blasted through the speakers of the expensive car. The guitar riffs were simple and smooth. It wasn’t what I expected but it calmed my nerves like a popsicle cools a whore’s mouth in the summer.

“Sheee brooooke my heeeaaaaaaaart!!!” The radio sang out wonderfully. “Sooo I broke her jaaaaaaaaaw!!” Satan himself must be the DJ at the radio station. I’m going to do more than break her jaw. I’m going to snap that bitch’s neck!

Tammy’s car is in the driveway, she wasn’t lying about being at home. I planned on kicking the door in, but she had it open for me. Tammy is standing in front of me in an elegant dress. It’s the color of cold champagne flowing into a deep glass. “Hey Aaron.” She stepped into my personal space and wrapped her arms around my back and held on tight. I pried her off my tuxedo and scorched a hole in her face with my dark burning eyes.

“Where is she?” I demanded coldly. The eye contact gave her the fear of God. She swept her face across the floor as if she’d dropped something. Tammy is one of the most honest women I’ve met. It’s not like her to keep the righteous truth from anybody.

She’s hiding something.

Tammy cranked her face back up. Showing me, a mug topped with slick, shining gold makeup. It looks like she was on her way to a marvelous affair and her invitation was revoked on her way out the door. “I don’t know.” She answers stepping into my personal space once more. “Don’t worry about Lana.” Tammy placed her head softly on my chest.

“She wasn’t right for you anyway.” Tammy lifted off me and stared me down. Her makeup hadn’t missed a beat from the sweat and fear my presence caused. She unbuckled my pants and stuck Lana’s dick in her mouth. Anger blocked every nerve ending in my body like bacon grease does a kitchen drain. From the looks of it Tammy is doing a swell job, professional. She’s performing a task she’d been waiting years and a failed marriage attempt to attempt.

But I feel nothing.

I take my dick back and put my belt back together. Tammy’s perfect hairdo crumpled in my hands as I lifted her body off the ground by the scalp. “I didn’t come here for all that!” Tammy swings her legs in desperation. I pull her hair harder and slam her petite body into the china cabinet to enforce my point. “You’re going to die with Lana if you don’t tell me where she is!?”

The shelf caves in on and around Tammy. Clobbering her with glass, crystals and porcelain. I pull her out of the mess and holler again. “Where is she!” My breath was hot and wild as I repeated myself. Tammy stuck her arm out in the direction of her bedroom. “Give me my phone.” She pleaded weakly. I dropped her on the hardwood floor and dragged her into the bedchamber. Her Iphone X is charging across her king-sized mattress. I search her messages of Lana’s thread. After searching the chat Lana’s location was discovered. The phone put itself in my pocket. I ripped the sheets off the lonely bed and hogtied Tammy tightly with the silk. I tossed her in the closet, leaving to complete the mission. Lana was hold up in a Marriott suites hotel. Her text message to Tammy tells me she’s in room 808.

An elderly black woman holds the elevator for me. Susie Mae stops at floor three and wishes me good luck with my journey and the rest of my life. The door of room 808 almost blasted off the hinges the way I banged on it. I turned my back and kicked the door like a madman before someone opened. A white man in a red button up shirt answered the door. He was in the middle of taking it off. Half the buttons were loosened. I barge in like he’d given me an invitation to do so. Thrashing him off his feet and on his ass. The hotel suite was vast and spacious. It covered a sleek comfortable front room that Lana wasn’t in. A stand in shower and jacuzzi tub laid steaming in the lavish bathroom. There was no trace of Lana there either. The furniture and television in the master bedroom was bigger and better than the room before. But It was just as empty. Nothing here. Nobody under the bed. Not a soul hid behind the curtains. I mosey over to the closet. When the door slides open I find my prize. Hiding and cowering behind the blankets and robes like a serial killer is looking for her. “Why Lana?” I ask not stopping the tears from escaping my twisted face.

“I don’t know.” Lana admits without moving from her protective fort. “But you knew everything before today!” A voice of rage escapes me, I’m not sure if it belongs to me.

“If you were going to do this you should have said no when I asked you to marry me!”

“I didn’t know how!” Lana cried burying herself deeper in the covers. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” I reached in the closet and pulled her out by the wrist. Lana fell tripped over her feet, falling across the bed. “This relationship didn’t have to end like this.” I tell her solemnly. Broadcasting my black leather gloves and stretching them across my hand. The white man who answered the door rushed in like a knight in shining armor. He looked at Lana with love and passion as he ran his shoulder into me. Knocking both of us to the carpet. He popped me in the ribs and in the face. I fight up to my feet gaining enough separation to heave my pistol off its holster. The silencer brushes his right eye. The bullet reorganizes his face, and paints his shining armor crimson. Lana screams in horror, she hit the mute button when the muzzle comes to her path.

Now it’s time to finish what I started. Lana doesn’t move off the bed while I approach her. Maybe she’s accepted defeat. I place the gun back in the holster after it went across her face. “I’m sorry!” She cried, but it was too late. My hands were already wrapped like serpents around her neck. I lugged her off the bed and applied the pressure it takes to turn coal to diamonds. Her tongue flayed out, blood started tinting behind her eyeballs. Lana’s thick legs danced as she fought for control. The bones in her neck had gotten soft. Like cotton candy or warm sand on the beach in Dubai our honeymoon was planned for.

My heel found her chest. It gave me leverage as I pulled and twisted Lana’s throat. The nape melted to jelly in my fingers as the bones snapped like a pile of twigs. Lana’s legs stopped pumping. But I twisted her collar one more time to ensure the best results. She resembled a flamingo as she covered the floor. My work here is done. When I step off the elevator I give Rick a Ring.

“Yo!” He reports merrily. “Is there any liquor left?” I ask starting the car.

“Is the Pope white?”

I tell Rick to save me a seat at the bar and coast my clear mind to the shenanigans.

[kitanoko]

*throws away fun in frustration* I NEED A SECOND PART OF THAT TODOMOMO FICLET. I hate you!!!

Note: HAHA, your hate has fueled my power. Rated T for Bakugou’s dirty mouth. Enjoy Part 2! 

READ PART 1 HERE: In which Todoroki tells her everything

One, two, three, four…five?

Tokoyami narrowed his eyes, fingers drawing arches in theair as he counted from one head to another. Holding onto his phone, he proppedit next to his beak.

“Sorry its 5 combos,not 4. That will be all, thanks,” Tokoyami glanced over at the boys thatgathered like ants around the salsa and guacamole, and tossed the phone over onthe couch. His friends splayed their bodies while laughing in front of the TVat something Midoriya just said.

“I didn’t know that Bakugou came,” Tokoyami noted as he crouched,“I almost didn’t order his dinner.”

“Yeah who brought Bakugou,” Todoroki said, looking over atthe culprits for an answer, and Bakugou flipped him a middle finger.

“Fuck you half and half,” Bakugou grabbed a few tortilla chipsand chewed it like a barbarian, “Kaminari told me you needed advice and draggedme here. I don’t wanna be here either. I got shit to do.”

Todoroki didn’t move a muscle, “Then you should go.”

“WHY YOU LITTLE-“

Kaminari and Midoriya instinctively pulled onto Bakugou’shood like a rein on a wild horse as the latter propelled forward, explosionscontained within his sweaty palms.

“He’s still like a crazy maniac ready to drink our blood,”Tokoyami shook his head as he bent his knees, “to get back to business,” thebirdman gestured with a nod to the guy next to him, “this is an interventionfor Todoroki as he clearly effed himself over two nights ago. Or a funeral, I’mnot sure yet.”

Kaminari’s mouth was ajar as he tried to eat salsa whilelaughing at Tokoyami’s dark humour, somehow not choking. A feat only idiotscould successfully execute.

“Yaomomo hasn’t told anyone the details yet. Or so Jirousays,” Kaminari gave Todoroki a crinkled smile, “if you could please do thehonours, we would very much like to know how exactly you dug your own grave.”

Todoroki exhaled, burying his face in his hands as theothers waited.

“So you guys know about how I took her outside the bar whenshe was dancing.”

Everyone nodded obediently, even Bakugou, who was stillgnawing on his food.

“I heard it from electric dolt over here so many times, Ithink I had it tattooed on my chest,” Bakugou teased, as if that was the cleverestthing he could come up with. Todoroki sent Kaminari, who had his hands beforehim in defense, a death glare.

“So after that I recall making out with her against the wallof the dry cleaners besides the-“

Kaminari actually choked his time, “no details please.”

“Go on,” Tokoyami said, ignoring Kaminari’s need of aHeimlich remover and Todoroki did a dramatic pause, as if the situation neededmore suspense.

“Then,” he took a deep breath, “I think I took her over tomy place for the night.”

He closed his eyes.

Silence.

As expected, when Todoroki’s eyelids lifted again, hisfriends were rendered like statues at the big reveal.

“Before we all start imagining things,” Midoriya was the firstto break the stillness, lopping his palms out to suppress the commotion.

“Oh don’t worry, I ain’t imagining jack shit,” Bakugouinterrupted in disgust and Midoriya continued.

“Taking her home forthe night essentially means just that. Maybe nothing happened between youguys.”

Todoroki could only mutter through the cushion he was using tocontain his exasperation, “She left her undergarment here. I found it on mybed. She probably left in a hurry.”

“Dude if it’s a bra, just say it,” Kaminari called out andTodoroki rolled his eyes hopelessly.

“Yes, her bra, okay?” The fire and ice hero, being a gentleman,barely said it audible enough for the others to hear. Trying to soothe whateverwas obstructing his vocal chords, which was likely just his guilty conscience,Todoroki interweaved his fingers together and cleared his throat.

“Could it just be abra from another girl that you forgot about?” Tokoyami attempted to soundsensible to Todoroki’s chagrin.

“I’ve never brought any girl home,” Todoroki indicatedmodestly and his friends all exchanged glances.

“For such a popular guy, you’re pretty tame,” Tokoyami saidand got back to the topic, “Anyways, I’d say just tell Yaoyorozu you made amistake and apologize.”

“No you don’t wanna tell a girl that,” Kaminari intervened,”she’ll get the wrong idea and think you were playing with her.” The electrichero scanned the room for a reaction, “Just give her bra back and leave. Done.Zip. No words needed.”

Midoriya’s lips tugged on one side forming a hesitant yetpleasing smile, “I think you should just wait for her to talk to you.”

Todoroki took his head in his palms, frustrated. He wasgrateful for his friends’ suggestions, albeit those being utterly rubbish. Oneperson hasn’t said a word yet. The boy pointed his gaze at Bakugou, waiting tofind a diamond in the rough, as rare as it is. Bakugou scowled back but finallyceased.

“I say you just tell her all the shit that’s cooped up deepinside,” Bakugou tottered his leg in annoyance, “listen to your shitty littleheart, if you even have one, and something will come out right.”

Todoroki’s eyes widened, putting a finger on his chin andheeded the philosophical advice, “Bakugou, thanks.”

The blonde boy hurried to mediate the awkwardness. Sentimentonly makes him weak.

“Don’t thank me, crap for brains. I’m just logical.”

~~

Be honest,Todoroki kept repeating those words like a parrot learning its first words. Hewould have never predicted the day he listened to Bakugou Katsuki.

Ding Dong

His doorbells echoed through the chasm of the vacant foyerand he launched himself off his seat, hands already sweating from self-doubt.  

“Hey,” he pulled open the door, keeping a straight face,“Come on in.”

The girl was holding a tray of wrapped up cupcakes in herarms, doing everything she could to bypass his gaze. In the back of her mind,she knew she brought them to keep herself out of focus.

“Todoroki, I thought it’d be nice to bring these, while wetalked.”

Talked. That wordmade the boy shudder.

Chaperoning her to his living room, he stuck his hand outpolitely to guide her to a spot on the couch and she took it, carefully lettingher purse go on the floor. For the better part of the next ten minutes, acurtain of muteness fell as Yaoyorozu’s eyes moved restlessly to him and backto her lap.

“Excuse the mess,” Todoroki started belatedly, scrutinizingthe salsa stain that Kaminari left on the carpet, “Yesterday, Midoriya and theothers came over.”

The girl faked a laugh to lighten the mood, “Oh, I see.”

“Here,” Todoroki removedhimself from the room for a negligible second, and thought that he swallowed sovisibly, the girl in front of him would have noticed without a doubt, “Uh, I’m surethis is yours.”

Yaoyorozu ogled at the article of clothing in his hand,mortified, and stuffed it into her purse, hoping it’d disappear from such a predicamentinto the depths of her bag.

“I’m sorry,” Todoroki planted a hand against the back of hisneck, turning away, “I don’t remember exactly what happened but I know we…uhh…”he kept his head low, “I just hope everything’s fine between us.”

The girl hugged her bag closer to her and perhaps it wasTodoroki’s imagination, but for a split moment, he saw disappointment reflectingfrom the darkness of her eyes.

“Yeah, of course, we’re good friends. And you were drunk.And I was just…” She wouldn’t allow herself to finish.

A burning, throat-scraping pain apprehended her as shepushed herself off the seat, making sure not to say another word. Todorokiconsidered the subtle movements of her clenched hands; if he didn’t stop hernow, he’d lose her forever.

“Wait,” He binded her wrist with his tight grip.

“It never even occurred to me that you had the need toapologize,” she turned her head over, every word penetrated with ire, “Did youregret? Is this what this is?”

“Of course not,” he responded and he could see her quiveringfrom either anger or defeat, “We’ve known each other for so long, I don’t wantanything to ruin our relationship.”

“And what is our relationship?”

Her words were eroded with a hostile fragility and the boystiffened, watching as she tried to free her from him.

“For not telling you the truth, I think that is actually mybiggest regret,” he saw her movement cede, “everything I said when I was drunk,I meant every part of it.”

She felt numb and he persisted on, “I was possessive. I wasselfish. I didn’t want anyoneelse to get close to you because-“  

She could sense his conviction, honesty, and dedication.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

She relaxed. His speech might be the most straightforward oneyet, but that’s what she liked about his character.

“I feel the same way,” she replied, tracing his expressionwith her gaze. Yearning to have a taste of her again, Todoroki invited her inhis arms with a pull of his wrist.

~~

“Kaminari,” Todoroki uttered groggily, “you gotta stopcalling me in the morning.”

His friend sneered, “So how was talking to Yaomomo?Everything settled?”

Todoroki angled himself to look at the girl sleepingserenely beside him, and he stroked a piece of her hair away from her face.Inch by inch, he walked out of the room and closed the door with a light touch.

“Talk quietly,” Todoroki said, hushed.

“Wait, why?” a revelation surmounted the boy on the otherside of the call, “oh my god, you friggin’…are you kidding me? Did you andYaomomo…”

“You don’t need to know,” Todoroki deadpanned, and laid hishead against the door. He heard a sigh.

“You’re so smooth,even I need to learn from you, mate,” Kaminari pestered, “well I’ll leave youtwo alone.” His shit-eating grin was too evident through the playful sound ofhis voice.

“Ah, see you.”  And Todorokihung up with a smile teasing his lips. Heading down the stairs with loosefootsteps, he threw on a t-shirt that was resting on the arm of a chair andpulled out the pots and pans.

The most difficult decision of that day was guessing ifhis girlfriend liked breakfast in bed.

[leonmckennedy]

My Kingdom for a Prince

A fill for [this prompt] on the kinkmeme:

Noct is captured by a person or people of your choosing and fed exclusively Really Nasty Things for the duration of the kidnapping. Could be foods he flat-out hates, or could be things that people generally don’t consider food. Preferably some combo of both! Like, every other day they switch off or something. (No bodily fluids, though, please!) Anyway, he eats what they give him, or he doesn’t get fed.

[AO3 Mirror here]

Canon Divergence: AU where there was no arranged wedding, so Noctis and the bros were present for Insomnia’s fall. And also Ardyn does some fuck shit. Really, fuck that guy

Warnings: Gross food (obvi), bugs, vomit, force-feeding?

it’s around 6k words… Sorry y’all… I went overboard. After a while the AU started fleshing itself out a bit @__@ 

When Noctis wakes up, his first thought is the passing “god my fucking head hurts. ” He doesn’t move for a good few moments, only groaning when he realizes the pounding against his skull probably won’t let up anytime soon. Eventually he blinks his eyes open, waits for his vision to settle, and attempts to sit up. But it’s impossible, because his hands are trapped behind his back and his legs feel like jelly, and after a few more moments of that specific brand of hell he has his second thought. “fuck .”

Next he takes stock of what he sees around him; he knows he’s lying on concrete, as it’s cold and smooth and nothing like his bed back at the citadel. He wiggles to turn on his side, to get a clearer view of the room around him. It’s small and dark. The walls are a dirty gray, barren, no windows. The light he’s seeing with is but a little sliver filtering in underneath the door on the opposite wall. There’s a small latched window on the door, closed. Underneath it is a wider but narrower slit, also closed.

In the corner there’s a small bed, with no blankets or pillows, essentially looking no more comfortable than the floor. In the opposite corner, a small bucket.

The purpose of this room becomes abundantly clear the more he stares at it, and he takes in a deep breath in an attempt to curb the panic beginning to settle in. It’s a cell. He’s locked in a cell. The prince of Lucis, a prisoner.

Noctis flexes his fingers, testing the strength of his binds. There’s barely any give. He’s not sure he’d be able to break through even if there was, however. Because just turning to his side and moving his hands feels absolutely draining, equally so with the pain throbbing in the back of his head. Frankly, he just feels plain bad.

He makes a few more attempts to sit up and manages eventually, groaning when a bout of vertigo hits him. With his stomach churning and the dark walls spinning before him he almost doesn’t hear the approaching footsteps outside.

Noctis does notice when the door’s window slides open and light begins to pour in.

“Well, hello there.”

The voice is smooth and vaguely accented and Noctis recognizes it almost immediately.

His memories come in bits and pieces.

Insomnia… fell. The signing ceremony went well until it didn’t. The imperials moved in and everything went to hell. Noctis fought as hard as he could but there was only so much he could do when they were so vastly outnumbered. The explosions, the fires, the mass panic as the citizens fled for their lives. And—

“You, ” Noct spits, and his voice is quieter than he wants, too torn and broken.

“Oh my.” The voice comes with a face. The man, red hair all sorts of askew and damning smile adorning his lips, peers through the tiny window. “You aren’t still mad at me, are you?”

“You bastard!” The words seem to burn Noctis’ throat, and he knows now why his voice sounds like that. He’d been screaming, before. “You scum— you bastards betrayed us, and you … when I get out of here you’re dead.”

The man chuckles then, sounding for the world like he’s in the middle of a friendly conversation. It boils the blood in Noctis’ veins— he’s not just mad, he’s seething. He’s shaking, down to his core, tastes metal where he’s biting the inside of his cheek to stop from snarling.

Murderer. This fucking murderer stands in front of him and has the gall to laugh? Oh, he’ll rip this guy’s throat out first chance he gets.

“I take it you’re still sad about daddy dearest? Come now, an entire day has passed by now. It’s not healthy to hold grudges, you know.”

Noctis does snarl, then. He doesn’t have energy for anything, and he knows now that his skull is pounding from the beating he took to the back of the head. Neither of these stop him from dragging himself to his feet and launching himself at the door. It succeeds in doing nothing but making the man laugh, the window being too small for Noct to do much of anything.

“By the gods, my dear boy, we need to teach you some better manners.” The man turns away now, addresses someone Noctis cannot see. “here, give our guest a nice little surprise.”

The man’s face leaves. Noctis is too focused on following him with his eyes to notice the other window sliding open, and by the time he looks down there’s a metal instrument poking his stomach and it’s too late.

The shock has him convulsing and it hurts, it hurts so much but he can’t breathe, let alone scream. It only lasts a few seconds before he simply drops, hitting the ground hard and gasping, finally, when his lungs start to work again. His body shakes, and he takes in breaths that don’t stick, gives heavy coughs.

The man’s laugh starts up again, sounding so far away, and Noct can’t respond. All he can do is roll over and try to breath, focus on the frantic pounding of his heart.

Fuck.

The first night, no one comes back. Noctis slips in and out of a fitful sleep. His dreams are just disconnected memories; the citadel becoming overrun with magitek infantry, the monster like machines dropping in from the skies. People screaming. His father’s face the moment he died, pierced through the back by a man, smiling with a mouth full of tar.

What happened to his friends, he wonders. His Crownsguard who fought so hard to help him escape the palace at his father’s last wish, who stood by his side even when surrounded. Did they go down too, like him? Are they captives too? Or are they like his father, rotting in the center of a burning city, a kingdom lost?

Noctis doesn’t cry that first night. He stares blankly at the barren walls of his cell and imagines death. He feels numb.

The second day, someone approaches his cell. Or some thing , he should say. When the door opens it is what seems like an entire squadron of MTs that swarm in, surrounding him.

It happens at an inopportune time. Noctis had been attempting to conquer the armiger, to pull out a sword or a dagger, something, anything. He’d been trying for hours, unsuccessfully. Noctis isn’t sure if he’s too weak or too inexperienced.

“What the hell do you want?” Noctis asks. He’s not sure how threatening he sounds, with the dry, worn throat, but he tries anyway.

He’s standing, having pulled himself to his feet in the hopes it’d help his efforts. It was an ordeal, as it became more and more apparent how injured he is. He definitely has a few broken ribs, sprained shoulder, still nursing the concussion he knows he got from his head injury. If his hands were free he’d have checked on the rest of his body, as he’s sure there are other bruises and cuts all around.

All in all, he eyes all the MTs warily. Because while he definitely won’t go down without a fight, he knows it would be a very one sided fight.

Two of the MTs grab his arms, holding him in place. Another one approaches him from behind and removes the binding from Noct’s hands. Immediately Noctis lunges for one of them, and receives a swift kick to the side for his efforts.

He falls over, hitting the ground, and watches shakily as the machines start to empty the room, red eyes watching him the entire time. One of them leaves something in front of the door before it closes behind them, throwing the room into darkness again.

Noctis takes a few moments to recuperate before crawling over to the door, eyeing the left object with a cautious eye.

It’s a tray of what Noctis assumes is supposed to be food. Assumes, because it smells absolutely disgusting.

“Ugh….” Noct covers his nose with one hand, trying not to gag. It looks like some kind of soup except it seems more gelatinous than it should be, and smells like rotten meat. He’s not touching that.

The second little window on the door, upon closer inspection, has an indentation meant to carry food trays. The MTs left it open, probably to collect the empty tray when he finished. Noctis holds his breath as he picks up the tray and deposits it in the  window, only exhaling after walking away.

Gods, he’s already a prisoner. Beaten and trapped and hopeless. Disgusting slop would be the cherry atop the sundae, wouldn’t it? hell if he would fall to that level.

All he has to do is bide his time. Recuperate his powers slowly, heal up a bit, then he can find an opportunity to break it. Noctis isn’t sure how long that’ll take, but he is going to do it, that much is certain.

The third day, they come and take away the tray of gross slop, and return with another. Noctis takes one look at it and feels his stomach drop.

It’s a vegetable puree, mostly carrots if the orange color is any indication. It’s not a perfect blend, either, as there are whole chunks floating in it; a few peas, lettuce, something red that might be beets. The dish also smells repugnant, admittedly because of the vegetables.

“Are you fucking serious?” Noct asks absolutely no one, because besides of that murderer from a few days ago no one with the capacity for conversation has come by. The MT who left the tray is probably already gone, not that he’s sure the thing would listen to his complaint.

At least, next to this dish is a glass of water and what looks like stale bread. He downs the water too quickly, the warm liquid sliding down his throat feeling like heaven. After that he tries the bread, but it’s so stale it barely tears apart, and is like a thick gum when he tries to chew it. He eats half of it before he can’t anymore, which is a shame because he’s really hungry.

Noctis eyes the soup, dares to pick up the spoon even. I’m desperate, he tells himself. It looks better than the brown slop they tried giving him yesterday, and he needs to keep his strength up if he wants to stand a chance at escaping. So he scoops the orange goop into his mouth and promptly spits it back out, gagging and turns away.

It didn’t smell too bad but it tasted very not like carrots. It’s all sour and musty tasting. It sticks to his tongue even after spitting it out, and Noctis regrets downing his water too fast because he desperately wants the aftertaste out of his mouth.

Well, that’s all. He places the tray into the window and walks back to the bed, sitting down gingerly.

He’s checked himself over for injuries after being freed, and is fine outside of the numerous bruises he has. There’s an exhaustion that sticks to his bones now that he isn’t in an adrenaline pumping, battle situation. His head hurts constantly. He doesn’t know when he lays down and falls asleep, but he is glad for it.

He sees Ignis in his sleep, first. The man looks worried in his dreams just as he does in real life, giving Noct an exasperated yet caring look. The dream seems to cycle through different memories; stargazing as children, music lessons that Noctis could never get to stick, a time when Ignis had been sick and Noctis insisted on visiting him to make sure he was already. It wasn’t a thing for royalty to do, he was told, to check on a retainer. He had attendants to do things like that. But ignis was too important. He’d go over the young man’s place and made lukewarm soup from a can and wiped his face with a towel to cool him down.

When his first fit wakes up him, Noctis is trembling. He wants to see Ignis so badly. Wants to go to him like he did when they were still so young, to hear sweet assurances in his voice.

His empty stomach cramps and Noctis curls up into a fetal position, trying to listen to his own heartbeat to lull himself to sleep. It doesn’t work.

The fourth day is about the same. They come silently, besides of the vague whirring sounds that seem to follow MTs around, and leave a new tray of food. Just like the previous days, it’s something straight revolting.

Noctis isn’t sure where to start with this dish. It’s green and brown and those are colors that don’t agree with him when they’re on his plate. The brown seems to be chunks of meat, most of which are so overcooked that they’re actually charred black. Beside it is a green goop, of which the sight of makes Noctis groan. What was with these fucks and vegetable puree?

Nevertheless, Noctis ignores it. He downs the new glass of water, sipping it slowly this time, and then places the tray back in the window. He paces back to the bed and sits down. There he begins to stretch his shoulder. There’s not much he can do about most of his injuries, because without access to his armiger he had no potions. And no potions meant dealing with the pain.

He’s also dizzy; the water has been a life-send, but it only does so much for his empty stomach. The hunger makes him feel so weak, yet looking at those dishes makes nothing but bile rise to his throat.

Just a little longer, he thinks. He hasn’t had luck with the armiger, but he’s bound to get it eventually, right? He could escape. He could.

He relives a precious memory of his; Prompto staying over his place for the weekend, an increasingly frequent occurrence. They lay on Noctis’ bed, side by side, playing king’s knight until they’re too tired to stare at their phones so they talk instead.

It’s around the time Prompto began to join the Crownsguard, at Noct’s suggestion. He’s nervous about the training, he lets slip. He’s not sure if he’s ready. Because Noctis is too cool and stronger than he is already, and Noctis trips over his own tongue trying to deny those words.

Of all of them, prompto deserved it the least. Being attacked, having their nice life stripped away under their feet; it wasn’t good for any of them but Prompto is normal. A civilian. He didn’t deserve it.

There’s what feels to be a pit in the bottom of Noctis’ stomach, untouched by the gnawing hunger. It grows from his stomach to his chest and it becomes harder to breath for a few minutes before it evens out. Noctis gasps.

He hates this cell.

“A little birdy told me you haven’t been eating.”

On the fifth day, the man comes back.

“What does it matter to you?” Noctis doesn’t move from his perch on the bed. His stomach doesn’t hurt as much as it did before, but in place of the pain is an all encompassing exhaustion. just keeping his upright position feels draining. Speaking even more so.

“It matters a lot to me, my dear Noctis. I didn’t bring you all the way here just for you to perish.” at that the man backs away from the window and pulls it closed. Seconds later Noctis hears the click of the door being unlocked. “Here, I brought you something—prepared special for our lovely little prince. Made with love.”

When the door opens the man is standing there, look absolutely insufferable with his lips curled up into a satisfied smirk. Everything about him looked terrible, from the scruffy quality of his facial hair to his outfit, layers upon layers with colors that had no business being together.

The man doesn’t come into the room, however. Instead a small crowd of MTs begin to filter in on either side of him, marching right up to Noctis’ bed. One in particular approaches Noctis head on, carrying a tray in its hands.

The last few meals had been absolutely awful but this one is in a league all on its own. There’s a big bowl, filled to the brim with what looked like tar. Inside of the soup are floating chunks of what could possibly be meat or vegetables but are essentially indistinguishable. And then the smell is an entirely different story; it smells rotten all around. like rotting meat or dairy that had been left out in the sun. The scent makes Noctis’ stomach roll and he starts to pull away and finds that he can’t.

The MTs grab his arms, holding him in place.

“Now, now, Noctis,” he says, and Noctis throws his head up in time to catch another one of his god awful smiles. “Be a good boy and finish your food.”

A metal hand grips him by the hair, pulling his head back, and Noctis begins to thrash, the disgust rolling around his stomach turning to dread. gods, no, no. A s much as he fights it he doesn’t have the energy to push the machines off of him. He watches, shaking desperately, as the MT in front of him fills a spoon with that revolting slop and leans in closer.

Noctis tries locking his jaw, but another MT grabs his face and pulls it open. It hurts. It hurts and he can’t stop the fucker from pushing that spoon into his mouth.

It tastes like it looks. like spoiled milk, thick and sour and invasive. He wants to spit it out but they cover his mouth and he’s stuck tasting it, the gross consistency rolling around his tongue and sticking to the sides of his mouth. Noctis shakes his head, a last ditch effort to try to get free, anything, anything other than what’s happening. After a few seconds another hand covers his nose and Noctis nearly starts choking right there.

He’s going to die. He’s going to suffocate if he doesn’t swallow this mess and the taste is starting to burn and he feels the tears pricking at his eyes.

“My, aren’t you a fighter? Sure this is what you want?”

Noctis starts to chew. He bites into a chunk of rancid meat, the juices exploding over his tongue and starts gagging and the tears are flowing freely now. He keeps chewing and then swallows, shivering at the feel of the thick liquid crawling down his throat. He swallows it all down and the MTs, apparently pleased, remove the hands from his face and air graciously floods in.

He gags immediately. The tears are still running down his cheeks and he takes in a gasping breath and he feels his stomach lurch forward. It’s disgusting. It hurts. He wants to go home.

“Good boy.” the man sounds more smug than he should have the right to. Smug and victorious. And maybe it’s true. Noctis takes in heaving breaths and he shudders and it does, truly, feel like he lost. “I have some important business to attend to, but I’m sure you’ll finish your dinner while I’m gone, yes?”

The monster in front of him fills the spoon up again and Noctis shakes his head, a sob breaking out of his throat. “No. No, no, no, no—”

“Ta-ta, my dear.”

Noctis sees the man leave from the corner of his eye before the MTs move in closer, the hands returning to restrict his face again. Another disgusting spoonful is deposited onto his tongue and Noctis flails, trying and failing to spit it out before his mouth is covered again.

Each spoonful feels worse than the last. He hoped that he’d get used to the flavor after a while, but he doesn’t. The taste is revolting every single time, and he’s not free after swallowing because the aftertaste sticks to his tongue and the roof of his mouth. The soup started out warm but by the time he finishes the bowl it’s cold, and he’s not sure if that made it easier or harder to take.

Eventually they leave him. They take the remnants of their awful meal and leave Noctis to sprawl across the ground, spitting and heaving. The MTs close the heavy door, and the room is dark once again.

There always seemed to be this duality to Gladio. He could be harsh, yes, but strangely kind. later, when all the strength Noctis tried to keep fails him and he voids the contents of his stomach into the corner bucket, he thinks Gladio wouldn’t call him weak for it.

Gladio was strict. He would get angry at Noctis constantly back home, for skipping out on sparring lessons or for refusing to get back up after being knocked down. “My arm hurts,” young Noctis had said once, and Gladio had sneered at him.

“It doesn’t stop working just because it hurts,” had been the answer, but Gladio still sat down next to him, sighing heavily and announcing that they might as well take a break.

What he wouldn’t give to have those days back, to be the whiny brat complaining about his lessons. When he finishes puking he lies against the wall, stares up at the ceiling. There are small cracks in the concrete, and he busies himself with counting them until his eyelids are heavy and he falls into a restless sleep.

He also wishes he could go home, but in a desperate fit he remembers there is no home for him to return to.

A prince without a kingdom.

On the sixth day, Noctis regards the door with dread. Strangely enough, though Noctis has no sense of time in this cell he feels as though the troopers arrive earlier than usual. And like the previous day they march inside, surrounding him.

Noctis flinches when they come near, their metal hands landing on his shoulders and holding him in place. He’s seen more of these machines now than he has in his entire life, and it is no less unsettling to see them now than the first time he’d ever laid eyes on them. He wishes he’d been dealing with humans. At least they would talk to him, taunt him, yell at him, anything. Without that Niff man from before to laugh at him, it was just the MTs, and the most they could do is glare with their shining red eyes.

They move so oddly, like puppets being yanked by their strings, and they’re built much larger than he is. Noctis doesn’t like it.

“What,” Noctis starts, and his voice sounds much worse than he was expecting. He hasn’t spoken since yesterday, after all. He’s extremely parched and it hurts, just pushing out any words. “W… what you got for me now?”

Sure enough, one of the troopers brings him a tray.

Only the food on the plate is moving .

“No,” Noctis shakes his head, sucking in a shaky breath when a large hand holds it still. “No, not that. Oh gods…”

Noctis is pretty sure they just reached into the dirt outside and threw it onto a plate. It’s the only way to explain why there are fat, pink worms wiggling before his eyes, directly contrasting what looks like actual mud on the bottom of the plate.

His “meal” is glistening in the dim light. It’s slime, actual honest to god slime mixed in with his dirt and worms.

“I can’t— I can’t do this. Please, please.”

But there are no response from an MT. The one holding the tray lifts up an empty fork and holds it out in front of him.

He has to pick it up. They want him to pick it up and eat it himself. He’d be shaking his head if he could. The hands holding his shoulders down push harder, and Noctis just barely holds back a whimper. He takes in a shuddering breath and just. Thinks.

If he doesn’t do this, it’ll be a repeat of the previous day. They’ll hold him down and spoon feed him and he won’t be able to breath and he’ll choke and—

Noctis takes the fork. The MT holds the tray within arms reach, and Noctis cautiously pokes around the plate. He has a vague hope that maybe if he pushes it around he’ll find something actually edible. Instead, under a clump of dirt and an especially big worm he finds that… it’s not a worm at all. It’s red and big and has little bulbs sticking out of its head and is definitely a real fucking slug.

That explains the slime at least.

“C-can I get a raincheck on this, guys?” right about now he wishes he’d have that gross, vegetable puree from days ago. Even that seems more appealing.

The machines seem to hover in closer, and Noctis knows he’s pushing a limit now. He’s gotta get it over with, he’s just got to do it. With the fork he spears a small piece of dirt, gags when it crunches and he realizes it’s not simply dirt. But he’s done it now, so he lifts it to his lips and pushes it in his mouth.

He takes a bite and it’s disgusting. Whatever the crunchy thing was he knows it doesn’t taste good. It’s a bug, probably. He has to try really, really hard not to just spit it back onto the plate, because he doesn’t know how the MTs will react to that. Eventually he chews it enough to swallow.

Okay, not that bad. If the rest of it goes like that, then he can get through this. He can get through. He takes a chance, spears one of the smaller worms and brings it to his face. Eating it is nothing like a gummy worm at all, but at the very least, thankfully tastes like slimy dirt. Makes him gag, yes, but not the worse he’s ever had.

Noctis is strangely proud of himself for doing it. The troopers around him stare, but they aren’t holding his nose closed so he considers it a good thing. Only… the slug, sitting now in the middle of the plate and thankfully unmoving, bless the gods, is haunting him.

He’s not eating that.

“Alright, I think I’m full.”

No response.

“I’m done. Thanks guys but—”

The MTs on either side of him clamp down suddenly and Noctis feels the panic bubbling inside of him.

“No! no, I ate a lot of it already, aren’t we good yet?”

A hand on his head yanks at his hair, pulling his head back and making him yell out. Another grips his jaw, holding his mouth open and in one smooth movement that slippery monster is on his tongue and he’s thrashing, cries muffled by a metal hand.

The slug nearly hits the back of his throat. The taste is disgustingly bitter, so much so that it has him shaking with his desire to spit it out. He takes in a thick, panicked breath, the last he gets before fingers close his nostrils and he’s left to suffer with the taste.

He starts to chew. It’s possibly the worse sensation; it’s so slippery that it feels like he’s chasing it around his mouth while trying to chew. The consistency reminds him of a gelatin dessert, if gelatin was chewy like an overcooked piece of meat, or leaked copper-like blood.

He can’t stand chewing it, it’s that bad. Instead he pushes with his tongue and just swallows. It goes down so slowly that he starts to choke—but with the hand over his mouth he can’t spit it out, so he forces it down some more.

Once it’s down, and the MTs are satisfied with that they let him go. Not just his mouth or his head but fully, and Noctis stumbles from his seat to his knees, coughing. Two coughs in and the bile pushes up from his stomach and he’s voiding everything. The slug, the dirt, everything. His mouth, his nose, it all burns. He takes heaving breaths. It hurts so much.

The MTs leave then, going as abruptly as they arrived. Noctis watches the marching of their feet from the floor, sees their mismatched gait out the door and into the thing light coming from the wall beyond. Once the last one leaves, however, there’s another pair of feet standing in the doorway.

“My, my, what a right mess you’ve made there. Meal wasn’t to your liking, I presume?”

Noctis looks up, slowly, reluctantly, right into the face of his captor. And he’s never felt such unbridled hatred in his life.

“I’ll let it slide just this once but… and don’t get mad about this, dear Noctis…. you’ll have to start pulling your weight around here eventually. Cleaning up your own messes at the very least. And, here’s a little secret,” The man walks up to Noctis, bends down to level with him and whispers, “By cleaning, I mean… constructing your next meal, if you will. Just because you couldn’t stomach it the first time doesn’t mean you should let it waste.”

Noctis heaves again at the thought.

“Goodbye and good night, my boy. Sweet dreams.”

Noctis sleeps on the ground again that night. He’d only managed to crawl away from the site of his mess , not having the energy or motivation to pull himself to the bed.

He lies at such an angle that his vision aligns perfectly with the corner, so he stares at the junction between the wall and the floor. The more the darkness lingers, the more he stares, blinking into the nothingness ahead, the stronger the feeling in his chest becomes. Like a rubber band wrapped around his upper body, he feels constricted. A few more moments and he takes in a long, shuddering breath, blinking rapidly.

And then the calm breaks.

And then he breaks.

“F….father…” Noctis pulls himself into a tight ball, arms tight around his torso. His next breath leaves as a sob, and he can’t stop it.

His father was a busy man. He had to rule over an entire kingdom, and for all of Noctis’ complaining, he knew as well as anyone how much of a burden that was. Years, of seeing his father attend meetings for hours, being pulled away from family time to take care of urgent business. Years, even, of watching his father gray at the hairline, watching his gait get just that much slower, his body moving just that more heavier.

Regis Lucis Caelum may not have been the best father, by any stretch, but he was Noct’s father, and he misses him so, so much. Right now he feels the smallest he’s ever been in years, like he’s eight again and all I wants is to be in his father’s arms, where he could be safe. Where he could take away the pain.

But he can’t. Not because he’s locked up in a dark cell in some hellhole, but because he’s dead. His father is a corpse rotting on the floor in the place they’d called home, and Noctis screams because he’s dead and he’s never coming back.

The worse thing is that he’ll never forget that moment for as long as he lives; his father, ushering him away from the citadel with his Crownsguard, calling on his magic to shield Noctis in his final moments. The view he had, then, of a red-haired man, who he thought was just another stuffy imperial politician, breaking through Regis’ defenses —and what kind of man is he, to break a Caelum’s magic, to overpower his father’s will— and stabbing him.

And laughing about it, too. laughing that same insufferable laugh he’s given Noctis all week, and that smile that sends prickles of rage down Noctis’ spine.

Noctis screams out his grief until his already parched throat is sore, until there’s nothing but weak sobs crushing his chest. He doesn’t know how long he cries. Until his tears dry up, maybe.

When sleep finds him he dreams about his father’s smile.

On the seventh day, the man doesn’t come. None of the magitek troopers come either. Time passes and Noctis stares up at the ceiling, having dragged himself to a sitting position at some point. He waits. He flexes his fingers, vaguely searching for his armiger even knowing it probably won’t work, as it hasn’t the entire time he’s been trapped in this god awful place. He’s partially convinced he’ll never be able to conjure it again.

So he waits, and waits, and waits.

Eventually he starts to wonder what’s happening. The dim light that comes through the crack under the door shifts, as if people are walking by. Or running, even. Noctis hears the telltale signs of MTs, the rattling of their armor as they run, but none of the shadows under the door stop there.

Curious, Noctis gets to his feet and walks over to the door, putting his face against the cold metal and trying his best to make out the commotion outside.

Minutes pass and it gets louder out there; more moments and it sounds awfully like there’s a battle commencing just outside his cell, the precise clanging of metal that could only belong to the clash of a weapons ringing loudly in the air, along with the subtle explosions MTs are known for when they’re destroyed.

All at once, hope begins to bubble in Noctis’ chest. It’s probably foolish to think someone is coming to his rescue, that anyone even knows he’s here, but he figures whoever’s out there fighting off the imperials have to be an ally. They could help him.

“Hey—” Noctis starts, clears his throat because he’s not loud enough. “hey! hello!” he starts to bang on the little window, wishing they’d left it open so he could see what’s happening. “Anyone! hello!”

There’s some more explosions, more clashing. Then suddenly he can feel the presence of another outside of the door. He worries for a moment when they don’t immediately speak, but his fears are calmed when a voice, another human that isn’t that goddamn murderer speaks to him.

“…highness?”

Oh gods. They knew him. They knew him.

“Yeah— yeah, it’s me. Oh gods,” Noctis leans heavily against the door, lets out a laugh that’s a borderline sob. “Please, help me. Please, please .”

The door unlocks. It creaks when it opens, and Noctis barely has enough time to register what just happened before he’s grabbed, pulled into arms that aren’t familiar but are warm and human .

It’s less a hug and more that the man is checking Noctis for injuries. Noctis knows he must look awful— beaten, bruised, smelling like an actual dumpster. But he can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about it.

The man— who’s wearing a Kingsglaive uniform, Noct notices belatedly— pulls back, hands firmly on his shoulders, and looks him in the eyes. “Can you walk?”

Noctis nods.

“Good. Okay.” The man reaches a hand to touch the communicator in his ear. “Guys—I found him. He’s safe.”

I’m safe.

“We gotta move. Stick close to me, okay?” The man faces the door, pulling a dagger from its sheath on his side. “Can’t have you dying after we just found you.”

The man leads him out of his cell and through an MT infested corridor, fighting them off left and right. His heart is pounding in his chest the entire time, but it’s excitement rather than panic, and Noctis can’t complain about that.

He’s free.

Insomnia was destroyed. This isn’t something that has to be explained to Noctis, because he’d seen it first hand. The riots in the streets, the magitek weaponry firing from the skies, the troopers cutting down civilian after innocent civilian.

He doesn’t have to be told it’s destroyed, but just existing outside of it’s walls knowing that its no longer there… it’s a lot to take in.

Turns out he’d only been taken to an imperial base stationed in Lucis. He’s not sure why, when Niff technology allows them to travel far and they could have certainly taken him back to Niflheim, but he is still incredibly thankful he wasn’t that far from his homeland. and also thankful he isn’t dead. He’s battered and broken but alive and he can allow himself to be the least bit happy about that.

Right now he’s sitting in the backseat of a truck, speeding towards a safe-house, and he can definitely allow himself to be happy about that.

“We’ll be there in less than half an hour, highness.”

Noctis had been more than relieved to have a more familiar voice with him. He never interacted much with members of the Kingsglaive, as many of them still lived outside of the wall. So as gracious as he feels for the man who saved him– Nyx, as he’d introduced himself later – he didn’t know him personally.

But driving the car now, the man they’d met up with escaping the base is an influential member of the Crownsguard. It’s Cor the immortal, in the flesh, and just hearing his voice is enough to make Noctis relax a little.

In response to the man’s statement, he nods, head barely moving from where it lies against the back of the seat. Cor doesn’t say anything else, so Noctis assumes he saw that.

“They were worried sick about you, y'know.” Nyx speaks now, turning around in his seat to face him. “We were all looking for you, trashing niff bases left and right. I can just imagine the look on their faces.”

Noctis feels himself chuckle. It’s a little low in his throat and sleepy because gods he’s exhausted, but it’s genuine.

Yeah, he can imagine.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 18: Bitch Me Too, the Fuck

I woke up to a panic alarm, taking no risks, I got my holsters with my guns and one stun device. My door was blocked from the outside so I just teleported outside of it with my gun cocked and ready for action. I look around me and all the men were still in sleepwear and two of them were barricading my door. I put two and two together and saw that it was just a prank and I breathed out.

“Oh boys! y’all got me all trigger happy” I laughed “I thought we were in danger or a drill.”

“What the fuck was that!” said one of the men that barricaded my door “you just poofed outside the door! That was at least a 5 second reaction time!”

“Well if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” I unloaded my gun and put it back in my holster.

“That was super cool!” it was the jorts man “how you just jump into action and use your quirk so confidently” he walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, he’s not that tall and a bit younger than the others “you have to sit with us at breakfast!”

I get an idea “Well! aren’t you a sweetie?!” I touch his face to give him a cheek pinch “I’d love to sit next to you, let me just put my guns away and dress out.” I walk toward my room and the other two step aside to let me in. I lock my room and activate the copy, I feel my skin get tingly and my arms start to take shape of hammers. I get giddy, new quirk acquired! I got dressed and teleported to the dining area. I sit with jorts man and others that were nicer to me, I tell them the surface facts about me and they get astounded by all the things I can do. I find out that jorts man is a newly recruited sidekick and is still 18 years old and that his name is Beizu Iwa, hero name Tools. 

“Miss Palma, good morning” it was Jinko “I heard about your little display earlier, are you alright?”

“Good Morning! and yes, it was harmless and nothing I wasn’t used to.”

“We have a zero tolerance for harassment here so the persons involved will be punished” he gave me a strange look “are you drinking straight coffee?”

“Yes, why? is there a problem?”

“No it’s just that how can you stomach something so bitter” he shuddered “well anyways, Best Jeanist would like to arrange some meeting time for today. I’ll let you know when as I’m not sure either.”

“Ok, got it, thank you.” I go to a training session with the agents and, while I didn’t learn anything new, I liked their teamwork. The agent team was only 5 people but they all went to the same school but at different times. They asked me about UA and I said it was cool but the hero program kids are annoying and not that hot. After lunch, I got summoned to Best Jeanist’s office. I was super nervous, I know how he looks like but the experience Bakugo described wasn’t the best to go off of. I entered his office and I see him, and all his denim glory, so tall with only his eye peeking from his high neck (what I’m assuming) jean jacket. 

“So you’re the fabled Miss Palma, Double wielding prodigy from America” he walked up to me “Welcome to my agency! I hope you settled in well and made yourself acquainted by the others?”

“Oh you talk so highly of me! I’m just a foreigner that barely made it in” I trembled in his shadow “but yes I got to know the other agents and some of the side-kicks, quite the bunch!”

“Please have a seat! I want to know more about you” he said gesturing to the 4 chairs facing a coffee table, I take a seat and he sits across from me “I heard that you had quite the journey to end up here.”

“Yes, it was quite the journey”

“And I heard about these 2 powerful quirks of yours” he crossed his legs “I am very interested on how your copy works.”

I get sweaty as I had no idea where this conversation is going to go. I explained it to him and he looked interested but it was hard to tell with his face covered “...with that said, I wanted to be a doctor in quirk medicine for the quirkless.”

“Thats the reason why I gave you the offer” he un-crossed his legs and sat up straight “there’s not many people like you in the world, with a power like yours, all they want to be is a hero or fight against evil. But you, you want to help the unfortunate and contribute to a cause that will benefit no matter what you do. The other agencies, they just want you for their own protection and lock you in when you should spread your wings and discover the cure.”

“I’d heard about the other agencies and their corruptness of trapping in double wielding agents. I understand that you saw greatness in me to follow my dream of being a doctor, but its all just a pipe dream” I sighed and looked at my hands “I left home to hide here and become somebody that will protect the families and homes of those who fight for us. My life has changed so much that I really think that this is it for me, I will never reach where I wanted to go.”

“Look at me” I looked at him, scared of what he was going to say “I know what happened in America and why you’re in the intelligence program. I want you to know that under my guidance and blessing, you will never degrade yourself and your dreams. You aren’t stuck, this isn’t it for you, I want you to explore my agency like a doctor would. Copy their quirks, find something new about them, see how they respond to you. And ,if you get lucky, unlock potential.”

I try not to cry, its the first time in months that somebody has faith in me to be who I want to be and do what I please to feed my curiosity that I’ve had to suppress to seem normal “You mean it? I don’t think my heart can take another empty promise. I’ve had to sneak face touches to feed my curiosity for all these people I meet. I want to be happy again.”

“Thats why I fulfilled all your requests. I can’t offer you what you already know as an agent, but I can offer you freedom to feed your curiosity and study what you want to study.” He stands up and pulls down his neck pants “here, start with me.”

I gently placed my hands on his face, from what I felt, he wasn’t doing so well. “Oh my, you’re still hurt from your near death with All for One huh?”

“How did you know I was near death?”

“I felt it in my body too and you’re hurting yourself trying to play it off like you’re okay when you aren’t okay and you need another month to recover fully.”

“I didn’t want to seem decommissioned to the world” he covered up “I’m too high up the ladder to take that much time off my duties. But do you really think I should recover longer?”

“Just like I’m sure I have mastery in your quirk” the cockiness in my voice changed the mood in the room.

“Oh yea? Show me something” he said walking over to his shelves of fabric “make me something pretty.” He threw me a bolt of textured fabric and I activated his quirk to make him an evening gown in a matter of minutes on his body.

“There! what a fancy lady you make!” I said as he turned to the mirror on his right.

“Oh my goodness! Its nearly flawless! Like something I would make” He felt my hem work and how I shaped it to his shoulders “how are you at mastery?”

“This quirk runs in my family, in fact, I have family on my mother’s side that started a denim company decades ago and they still run it. All because they have some variation of the Master Thread quirk, when some of my cousins come to visit, I’d copy their quirk and we’d make dresses for our dolls or remake our clothes into different ones.” I walk up to the mirror and look at myself and him “Do you wonder if we’re related? Like a common ancestral family where a brother crossed the sea to the west and ended up lost in the south. And the other brother wandered in the east to find the sea and made it here?”

He looks at me, then at himself “I believe it, who knows? I don’t have an explanation for that.” he ponders a bit “you’re much more curious than I thought, it was nice talking to you” he looks at the time “why don’t you take a peek at what the side-kicks are doing? Jinko will walk you over.”

I thank him for the one on one time and headed to the hallway I came from to find Jinko. He was more than happy to show me over to where the side-kicks trained and did paperwork. I was observing out of the way of everyone to see all the quirks I didn’t recognize and wanted to copy at some point. 

“Hey agent!” yelled a man in denim chaps. I looked around and to see if he was referring to some other agent “yes I’m talking to you little lady, come here and spar with us!”

“Oh um okay” I walked over meekly “whats the haps fellas?”

“Show us how you use your quirk in battle!” yelled a man in jeans “I heard about your fighting style from Jinko, so powerful that you hardly use your quirk!”

“Oh yea?! Fight me then!” jean chaps man gets in position “first one to get pinned, loses.” Everyone gets out of way to give us space to spar. I feel all the eyes on me as I get in my position.

“I accept this challenge chaps man” the others murmur and stop what they’re doing “please don’t go easy on me, I won’t hold back either!” He starts his attack and I narrowly dodge it. I saw that he has a strength quirk, with enough force, I can get him in a pile-driver and end it. I get lucky and low sweep him to quick touch his face, everyone gasped at the move.

“I see what they mean by hardly uses their quirk” he stands up quickly and faces me “but victory favors the strong!” he activates his quirk, muscles bulk and he flexes them.

“Oh you mean like this?” I taunt as I activate my copy, the other men look in disbelief “foolish man! you accidentally gave me the upper hand” I do a wrestlers pose “say your prayers.” I bolt toward him to do close range, he has a hard time dodging. With a double fisted uppercut, I launch him up for the pile driver. I put him in position and slam him on the floor, I won and everyone had horror written on their faces.

“Wha-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” said the man as he stood up “that quirk, how?!” I explained my copy and everyone understood now why I was offered the internship. “Telekinesis and Copy huh? what a power combo but you became an agent?”

“Yea, I don’t like being restricted” I said as I deflated back to my normal shape “I also HATE authority, so intel was the way to go. Fuck big hero!”

“I love her! Can we keep her?!” said the man in denim leg warmers “we need more of that attitude around here.” The other men agreed and asked me to copy their quirks so I can test it out. I was happy again and everyone was much nicer to me the following days. Fast forward 4 days, things were getting exciting.

“Ok agents, time for some civilian clothing scouting” the agent lead announced in our practice room, he faces me with some concern on his face “now, 19, I know you’ve been trained to do plain clothes work but since you’re a young lady, your appearance might out us.”

I get an idea “Okay, chaotic idea, I packed my boy alter-ego. If you give me 30 mins to do my full transformation, I can save this whole debacle.”

“You know what, thats not a bad idea 19″ he looked to the others “you heard her, 30 mins until we head out.”

I teleport to my room and get to work on binding my chest and contouring my face. And just on time, I came out of my room as Takeshi T’Boone.

“Hello fellas” I said while doing finger guns “goes this shirt make me look gay?”

The agents started cackling and fully believed I was a biological boy for a second. We go on our scouting and nothing serious happened, just some information gathering and reporting suspicious activity to nearby side-kicks.

“Say, Takeshi” asked one of the agents “are you a drinker?”

“Yup, but I’m not trashy” I put my phone in my pocket “I know my limit.”

“Cool, the fellas were going to get drinks and grilled meat at around dinner time” said the leader “wanna come with as Takeshi?”

“Oh hell yea!” I tried to contain my ‘feminine’ excitement “I haven’t flaunted Takeshi in public like that, this’ll be fun!”

We get back to the agency to fill out paperwork until dinner time. I had to put my weapons away in my room and really didn’t feel like teleporting, so I walked, forgetting I was in boy drag. I get there and I un-strap all my concealed weapons to put away, check my phone to reply to Mimi and Jin and walked out to use the bathroom.

“HEY YOU! FREEZE!” yelled the jean vest man, I looked up in confusion “you’re in an unauthorized area!”

I realized that I was in boy drag and tried to talk myself out of this one “No wait! It’s me! Agent 19 I-”

“BULLSHIT! agent 19 is a soft and curly haired girl” he was getting closer “and you’re a dirty blonde boy. You’re coming with me!” He grabbed my arm and I was freaking out.

“Let go of me! I am agent 19, in disguise” he tightened his grip and I panicked some more “where are you taking me?”

“To the boss, he deals with small fry villains like you all the time!” He tosses me in Best Jeanist’s office, I stand up and see his confused face “I found this villain sneaking out of agent 19′s room and he claims to be her.”

“Because I am! Look!” I take off my wig, revealing my black curls “I was doing undercover work and was going to change out when he accused me of being a villain.”

Jeanist looked at me and looked impressed “I was fully convinced that you were a boy! That voice changer is a nice touch to your disguise. I’ll call the lead agent to come and escort you.” He made the call and turned to the man in the vest “remember that we can’t get in without a barcode ID, the alarms would ring if there was an intruder.”

I get escorted and the leader assures me that I made a convincing boy so I shouldn’t be surprised that I was confused for one. He takes the liberty to present me to the others, they didn’t take the news well. It didn’t matter to me as I just wanted to go out to drink with my fellow agents. Dinner time came and I was gathering my phone and wallet to head out, I get a knock on my door

“Who is it?”

“It’s Iwa”

Tools? what does he want? “come in!”

“Oh, hey, Takeshi was it?”

“hehe yea, whats up?”

“I was going to ask if you, er Palma-san, wanted to spend some time with me and some of the others for game night.”

“Oh thats nice of you to include me” I stood up “but the agents already invited me to drinks and grilled meat. Maybe tomorrow?”

“I didn’t know you were a drinker?”

“Oof have you ever been at an agent kick back? All we do is drink and get stupid, crazy part is that we don’t get in trouble for it because we don’t have rules to follow.”

“Sounds like fun” he turned to leave my room “we’ll spend time tomorrow then?”

“Yep, tomorrow!”

I head out with the rest of the agents and we have a great time! We bar hopped, respected women and I played the part so well that it was just accepted that I was one of the boys. We drank way too much and got stumbled our way back to the agency for the night.

“Aw shit yall, its fawkin almost 4am” I slurred to say as we walked in.

“shhh! you don’t wanna wake up the bitch boys” harshly whispered the leader “they get all pissy when we disrupt their sleep.”

“Damn, well, drink water and rest yall” I stumble to the living quarters “see yall when I decide to.” I get too tired to walk and I teleported to my room, I missed my room entirely and just splat in front of my room passed out. In the morning I opened my eyes and saw that I was on the floor in front of my door. “Aw fuck I missed my room, what time is it?”

“It’s 9am” said a voice behind me.

I bolted up and saw Jinko, Tools, vest man and Best Jeanist. F U C K “Oh hello, good morning!” I stood up and tried to play it cool “I was just-”

“I can’t believe it! An underage girl getting so drunk that they couldn’t make it to bed!” scolded vest man “What would your mother think of you?”

“As far as she’s concerned” I get bold “she thinks I’m a child of God!”

“Stop both of you!” Jinko turns to vest man “look she’s allowed to do all that, as an agent, rules don’t apply to her as we law enforcers do.”

“But that doesn’t excuse her misconduct!” retorted vest man “she threw up in my shoes!”

“Oh I don’t throw up after drinking” I get cocky “I ain’t no bitch, it was probably a different agent, the one with the brown hair and scar on his shoulder.”

Turns out, it was him. I join my fellow agents in the dining hall after a quick shower and re-feminizing. It was our day off and I was going to explore the shops I passed on our scouting. Everyone found out of my little drunk adventures with the agents as Takeshi, they treated me like an equal when they saw that I can hold my liquor and defend myself. After some recouping, I get dolled up to head out to shop, makeup and everything. 

“Hey Palma-san!” Tools ran up to me as I was turning to the hallway “where are you headed?”

“I’m going to the union square, I want to go to the shops”

“May I join? I’d hate to see you go by yourself.”

“Um sure, I could use some company in case I get lost.”

He joins me and its a nice time, I lose track of time and it’s sundown. Things got serious.

“I really enjoy your company Palma-san” he said as he turned to me “I bet you have a macho boyfriend back at school.”

Oh jeez where is this going? “Nah, my last boyfriend tried to convert me to be a hero because he was becoming one too. After that mess I just decided to focus on school work more and put boys on the back burner.”

“That does sound like a mess, sorry that I brought up a bad memory”

“It’s fine, don’t feel bad!” I sighed “though, I wish could just be done with school already and work in an agency.”

“Why? what’s the rush?”

“I just don’t want to dorm or deal with those annoying ass hero students, no offense but yall just wanna compete and cry over shit that doesn’t matter.”

“None taken...can you keep a secret?”

“Um sure, what is it?”

“Okay so I didn’t want to be a hero, I actually wanted to be an engineer for robots or machinery.”

“NO WAY! is it because of your quirk?”

“Yea and I love technology, but my dad didn’t approve and said that I either work in construction with him or he pays for hero school. So I went into hero studies and did well enough to get into the number 4 hero’s agency.” he gets a sad look on his face “I’m not happy were I am, in secret I tinker with broken appliances to make them into short functioning robots but I want to work with them all the time. I wish I was as free as you are, not caring about the rules and free to go into whatever field of intelligence.”

I put my hand on his and sigh “Can you keep a secret?” I tell him the short hand of my situation “...cut to now, I’m nearing a year since I left. I didn’t want to be an agent, I wanted to be a doctor.”

He looked at me with wide eyes and mouth agape “You poor girl! Thats a lot to go through so young. I have a new found respect for you Palma-san, you are more than just a smart and pretty face, you are braver than the number one hero! Braver than me!” he holds my hand properly “thank you for sharing that with me.”

“Did you just call me pretty?”

“Yeah, and what of it?” he gets smug “it’s true, I have no reason to lie to you.”

I get bold “I guess I’ll take your word for it, usually if a boy calls me pretty and holds my hand like this, he shows me.”

“Oh I see, sorry I’m not very good at talking to pretty girls” he looks around to see who’s watching “not very many cross my path for me to do this” he pulls me in for the kiss, I get the sickest satisfaction in getting that kiss. It’s not like I was cheating on Tokoyami, we agreed that we aren’t dating nor putting labels on each other because we just crave the intimacy, not the person. This kiss escalated so quick, I teleported us to my room to have some privacy. I’ve know this guy for 5 days and here I am, getting hot and heavy in my room. He took control so quick that I didn’t realize he took off my shirt, I knew because he asked me about my tattoos. It felt like hours we shared passion, no sex, just rubbing up against each other. I checked the time, it was 8:44pm, we’ve been in my room for 3 hours!

“Oh my, time really flies when you’re making out” I panted “Everyone is probably wondering where we are.”

“Yea, you want to teleport to the main street and stroll in or..”

“Well before we do that, why don’t you give me a nice love mark on my neck?” I said laying down on my bed, exposing my neck “I want to show the squad back at the dorms that I got to kiss a side-kick.”

“Anything for you darling” he goes in and gave me a couple of hickeys “there, I know you wouldn’t let them know who gave you these, love marks.”

“As long as I have another session before I leave.”

“Deal!” he gets up and tosses me my shirt “come on and get dressed, we gotta make it look like we aren’t tongue wrestling.” We do the plan and nobody’s the wiser. In the morning, the other agents took notice and they wanted details. I told them what happened but not with whom and they pat me on the back for being that bitch.

“Hey Tools, check the marks on the girl” nudged the man with the chaps to Tools “who do you think did it? I think its that agent that gives her coffee every morning.”

Tools starts to sweat a little “Maybe, I don’t see her getting close with anybody else.”

“Wonder how she did it, I bet she smells like a meadow” said another side kick “good for her though! At least one of us isn’t gay.” The other men at that tabled agreed and Tools hid his inner panic that everyone just assumes the other is gay because of the all male environment.

I shadowed the lead agent for the day, mainly because they didn’t have a plan for me for the whole 2 weeks. It was pretty standard and it was pretty much just avoiding the side-kicks until they have to relay information to them. Fast forward to day 11, interesting information comes in.

“Look alive agents!” alerted the lead “we found a lead on a league of villains look out spot, right here in our city” he shows us on an overhead a map of the city “here, a mile and a half outside the business district. We’re raiding tonight, the goal is to gain intel on who’s the scouts and why here, defeating them would be a plus.”

“Sir, is this a just agent mission?” asked one of the older agents.

“Yes, now that we have 19 in our team, we insure success and cut out those pesky side-kicks.”

“Are these missions not successful because of them?” I asked curiously.

“Yes, they’re always announcing themselves before attacking and it gives the perpetrator time to flee” the lead rolled his eyes and sighed “now that you’re here, you can do rescue, stealth and attack...almost like a 5 for 1 deal.”

“I like the sound of a no side-kick mission” I nod “Ok so when do we head out?”

“At midnight, they’re usually hanging around at around that time. Everyone is to suit up and strap in, we’re building hopping there.”

Night comes and I suit up and walk out my room, I get seen by Tools

“Hey where are you going?”

“Night patrol” I lied the best I could “Be back at sun up.”

“Wait, it’s a mission isn’t it?” he grabbed my hand “please be careful, I want to see you come back in one piece okay?”

I couldn’t look him in the eye “It’s not a big deal, I’ll be fine” I see the other agents run down the hall and I break out of his grip “see you later.” I get nervous, what if I do get injured? What if I do die, for real this time? So many what ifs that I tried not to think about as I had to get my mind in the mission. We get to the spot and see that it’s an alleyway and there was 2 scouts.

“Okay, we have 2 confirmed targets” said the brown haired agent, he had heat seeking quirk “from what I can tell, a male in his 20′s and a girl in her mid-teens.”

“Wait, let me see” I flip my visor down to activate the enhance feature, I see the two people “Yo, not to be that bitch again, but the male is kinda sexy” I enhance the image more to see his black hair, blue eyes, with what looks like patches of his skin stapled in a stylistic pattern “oh yea~ sexy villain alert, he won’t be hard to spot again if he runs.”

“Great work 19, do you think you can be part of the info team and eavesdrop on them?” the lead asked “We got your backs.”

I head with 2 others to snoop in, one of the agents had a camouflage quirk and the other had telepath. I copy the camouflage and slink our way down in the alleyway as the telepath stayed out of sight at the nearest rooftop.

“Dabi-kun! Can’t I just stabby stab the next one? Come on pleaseeee!?”

“Shut up Toga!” growled the male “it’s bad enough that we’re scouting and not in the hide out, its fuckin freezing out here!”

“Humph! Spinner lets me stab the ones that aren’t serious.”

Dabi and Toga huh? Interesting, there seems to be more of them in rotation. I remember that they kidnapped Bakugo but they don’t seem like the ones that are up the chain. Then the girl pulls out a fucking 4 inch knife and I don’t get scared but concerned for this girl’s mental health.

‘19, disarm the girl with your telekinesis’ said the telepath. I expose my armpits to wiggle the knife out of her hand. As I did, the girl freaks out, getting the attention of the male.

“What the fuck Toga?!”

“It’s not me! I swear! Something is controlling my knifey!”

“You fucking psycho bitch! Can’t fucking control your blood lust for like 5 minutes, I’m calling Kurogiri to get me the fuck out of here” he reaches into his pocket to take out a cell phone “maybe your lizard boyfriend will get switched in!” 

‘19! get the cellphone! and teleport it to me!’

I then wrestle the cellphone out of his hand, he doesn’t have a tight grip on it and I zipped it over to me and teleported it to the telepath. But to the 2 scouts, it looked like the cell phone disappeared into thin air. 

“Oh no! the alley is haunted!” screamed the girl “Dabi-kun I’m scared!”

“Great! Toga that was our only form of contact with the others” the male was losing his sanity “HEY GHOST BITCH! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME! or kill the girl, she’s super annoying.”

“HEY thats not nice Dabi-kun!” said the girl as she fought with her knife “once I get control of my knife, its over for you bitches!”

“I’ve had enough of this!” blue flames rise from his fists. I get kicked into high alert, time to fight sexy man and knife girl.

‘19! fight them off as 44 escapes to the others, I will let you know when they’re at the safe zone.’

Go time for me, without deactivating the camouflage, I levitate the two to distract them from the footsteps of the other agent as they fled.

“WAH! please don’t hurt me ghost-sama!” sobbed the girl. I tossed her in the dumpster and tossed the sexy man against the wall. No signal on the safety of my fellow agent, time to have some fun. I switch the voice changer on in my mouth to distortion.

“Wow, so this is one of the mighty league of villains? Don’t seem so tough or scary” I taunted as I picked him up and pinned him to the wall “and such a pretty one like you! What are you doing here all by yourself on such a cold night?” I touch his face for the copy, dropping the camouflage. He was taken back when he saw my covered face.

“W-who are you?!” he stammered in fear.

“I’ll save you Dabi-kun!” cried out the girl as she jumped out of the dumpster.

“Quiet little girl” I said as I blasted a wall of blue flame, blocking her from coming any closer to us “can’t you see the adults are talking?”

“What do you want from us? Are you one of those stupid renegades!”

“HA! renegades?! Don’t you dare call me one of those hero rejects!” I make a flame out of my free hand “call me that again and I’ll defile that pretty face of yours.” He stares at my blue flame, like I took it away from him “oh? impressed by my skill?”

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what you want. But we’re just here to scout so if-”

“Didn’t anybody tell you boy, this here city, its MINE!” I then get the update.

‘44 is in the safe zone, 19 teleport me out!’

“If I catch you here or your little club of little bitches around these parts, I’ll kill them and take your skulls as my trophies.” I let him go as I walk away.

“Who are you?” asked the male “I haven’t seen you around the scene.”

“They call me, the Black Phantom. Bye bye my raven haired beauty~” I teleported out to the telepath and then to the others.

“What in the actual fuck 19!?” said the lead when we got back to the agency.

“Am-am I in trouble?” I asked meekly because I did get carried away with my distraction.

“No, but that was the most AMAZING display of theatrics I’ve ever seen! Not to mention that you got evidence that we traced to their base while you were distracting them.” he got so giddy that it made me feel like I finally did something right “for once the agents have a successful mission in the books, boss will be so pleased with us. Rest up agents! We celebrate in the morning when we give the full report to Jinko.”

“Thank you sir!” we chanted as dismissal. Everyone pat me on the back for coming in clutch with the copy and the one liners. I get to my room and nobody noticed me walking in, I undress and sleep in peace. I wonder what the others have done?

-End Chapter 18-

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[safyresky]

37, 43, 46, 48 with Jacquie, Elle, Dite, and Jack (again), Christmas party addition?

Ahahahaha you are really liking this combo, aren’t you mellobean? (I know I kinda am, and it’s gr8 practise for me to write Dite tbh.Also!!! If you’re predominantly on mobile and read mores don’t wanna work letme know and I’ll get rid of the read more and just tag it as a long post)

37:  “Can you just shut up for five minutes?” 43:  “Why are you/we whispering?” 46:  “Shut up, I am a delight!” 48:  “Now, just hold on a diddly darn minute.”

“Isn’t that a bit of a hassle though?” Dite asked, grabbing anotherglass of cider as an elf with a tray passed by.

“Not really,” Jacqueline replied, helpingherself to a glass as well. “I mean icicles are a really hard medium towork with, of course, especially on a dress, but it reallymakes the look, you know?”

“Well for your super-fancy-formal-wear yeah, I suppose…butI like the frosty dress a bit better,” Dite said. “It looks less like it’sstrangling you.”

Jacqueline blinked. “I’m flattered,” she said, smiling,a slight blush on her face. “And it’s not strangling me, it barely touchesthe neckline Dite.”

“Jacqueline, sweetie. It looks like a corset. You know howawful those things are.”

“Yeah, I do, that’s why I don’t wear one.”

“That’s relieving to know. I’m glad you’re not beingstrangled by clothing.”

“Thanks, Dite.” Jacqueline paused, staring at her friend.The goddess seemed a little off today, and she wasn’t sure why. She keptglancing at Elle and Bernard, looking very thoughtful which could be veryconcerning, depending on the thought.

Jacqueline slid closer to the blonde, until Dite’s left wingwas almost wrapped around the sprite. “What’s got you so bothered?” shewhispered.

“You told me that the North Pole Christmas party isfor every elf to chill out,” she whispered back.

“It sure is. You’ve been here all night, you saw how it wasafter launch. That was pretty chill, by my standards.”

“Well look who is not chilling.”

“Bernard? He never chills. Unless Elle convinces him to. Orhe actally takes a break. I think he’s going to work himself to death one ofthese days.”

“Unless Elle convinces him to. Well, where’s Elle?”

“She’s right beside him—oh. She is not.” Jacqueline paused,frowning. “I think I’m beginning to see your point.”

“Why are we whispering?” said a voice. 

The two Legates jumped, both realizing at the same time thatElle had snuck behind them and that’s why they hadn’t seen her anywhere.

“No reason!” Jacqueline said, clearing her throat anddusting off her dress.

“We were whispering? Wow, I didn’t even notice,” Dite added.

“You sound spacey, Aphrodite. Is everything okay?”

“Yes! I’m just dandy. What a lovely party! When Jacquelinetold me how crazy it got here I did not believe her.”

“I bet you do now,” Elle grinned. 

“Absolutely. So how come you aren’t chilling out?”

Elle’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry?”

Jacqueline made a weird sound in her throat.

“You aren’t relaxing. I would assume, being Elf number 2,you work exceptionally hard. So why aren’t you winding down right now? Withyour boo?”

“Well, we have lots of time to relax later. But since Santais still out we’ve still got to work a little bit, the two of us. Then there’smaking sure everyone is enjoying themselves—Jacqueline, what’s so funny?”

“Dite called B-Man your boo.”

“You’re so mature,” Elle said, grinning.

“She’s the picture of sophisticated grace,” Ditesaid, smiling. “Now then, I can’t sit around here and watch a match such asyourself and Bernard not have fun together. C’mon,” Dite said,grabbing Elle’s hand and rushing away.

“Now just hold on a diddly darn minute—” Elle began, butDite paid her no mind. Jacqueline watched them go, thinking of what Dite might be planning and if she should go tell the love goddess to tone it down a notch.

“So, Cupid’s niece, huh?”

“What?” Jacqueline said, startled for the second time thatnight.

“You have…feelings…for Cupid’s niece?Aphrodite?”

“You’re reading into things, Jack.”

The Legend shrugged, serving his sister with an infuriatingsmirk. “Am I? I mean, you did bring her along as your date, did you not?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have a thing forher.”

“I don’t know, you two were looking mighty cozy before Elleinterrupted. And those wings do not look cozy.”

“Dite’s wings are soft and fluffy and make her hugs verygreat,” Jacqueline defended.

Jack smirked. “I knew it.”

“Can you just shut up for five minutes? Dite and I aren’tlike that! I don’t have a crush on her! She’s just someone I really like andwould stare at for days and if I don’t see her for a while it sometimes ruins my week!”

“You know what Jacqueline,” Jack said, holding up a hand indefence, “you are completely right. That is definitely not a crush, howcould I have been so wrong.?!”

“You’re the absolute worst.”

“Shut up, I’m a delight!”

“Whoever told you that lied.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I can see I’ve hit a touchysubject so, I’ll move on. At any rate, it’s not like you were getting veryfar.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well you were all cozy up there but then Elle came alongand so much for the coze, as you call it.”

“My slang does not suit you.”

“I know. It felt weird to say.”

“Now are you implying I couldn’t get the coze back?”

“Yes.”

“Listen. I don’t have a crush on Dite but I would like youto know I’m totally capable of cozying up to anyone.”

“Really now?”

“Really! And I’ll prove it!” Jacqueline shouted, stompingoff. “I have to go make sure Dite doesn’t go love crazy anyway!”

Jack chuckled to himself, heading back to the dessert table.

By the time Jacqueline made it over to Dite and Elle, stillin a bit of a huff, the two girls were giggling like mad.

“What are you two planning?” Jacqueline asked, eyebrowraised.

“Well, you promised me the whole Christmas experience,” Ditesaid. “And do you know what’s missing from the whole Christmasexperience?”

“Eggnog? Because there’s some over by the Naughty and NiceCentre—”

“Nope! Mistletoe,” Dite said, grinning.

“Oh dear.”

“And since Elle and her fine elven gent over there haven’twound down, and you said that usually Elle is the one to convince him to relax,I thought ‘hey, why don’t I throw them under some mistletoe?’ and I toldElle and she thought—”

“I think it’s brilliant!”

“And thankfully, I managed to come by some mistletoe,” Diteadded.

“Yes, because you wanted to make your peplos allChristmassy, so you had me help you put mistletoe on it. And the holly aroundthe bottom which hurt a lot why is that stuff so sharp?”

“We’re actually working on a softer version of holly down in Botany—”

“Elle. It’s Christmas. Seriously, stop thinking about workfor a bit,” Jacqueline teased.

“Hey, at least I’m not a Bernard,” Elle said, shrugging.

“Speaking of, I hung up the mistletoe,” Dite said, pointingto one of the archways in the Workshop. “Go make some romance happen,Elle. Do me proud!”

“I won’t let you down!” Elle said, saluting (a bit over dramatically,Jacquie thought proudly) and rushing over to Bernard.

“I’m so excited,” Dite said. “You know Jacquie, when Ido my rounds around this time of year, a lot of mistletoe shenanigans tend tohappen. They’re all lovely, of course, but it’s nice to see one that I didn’tmake happen myself. Well, completely,” the goddess said, blushing.

“Then let’s get you closer. after all, you never work from too far away.”

Ditegrinned and grabbed Jacqueline’s hand, rushing them over to the table filledwith cookies nearest to Dite’s mistletoe. They watched as Elle ran by, dragging a very confused but smiley Bernard behind her.

“I just want to show you something, B.”

“Elle, I have to go check in with Santa and—”

“Look up!”

“Is that mistletoe?”

“Heck yes.”

“Well then, if I may?”

“Heck yes!”

The two elves smooched, and Dite grinned so wide Jacqueline was afraid her face would break in two.

“You know what Elle, it’s Chirstmas Eve. Santa’s fine, and you’re right. I really do need to unwind. Want to dance?”

“Happily,” Elle said, taking the hand he offered as the two headed to the large crowd of elves dancing in front of the speaker set up.

“That was even better than I thought,” Dite said, picking up her robes and walking towards the mistletoe. Jacqueline followed, smiling to herself as she stopped beside Dite—right under the mistletoe. “Mind helping me put it back on? It was acting as one of my fibula,” Dite said.

“Of course. But first I would like to point out that we are, in fact, underneath the mistletoe.”

Dite blinked, then coloured. “Oh, geez, we are would you look at that!”

“Is it okay if I kiss you?”

Dite paused for a minute, then smiled. “Sure. Just not on the lips,” she said.

“I know,” Jacqueline replied. She stepped on her tippy toes and gave Dite’s nose a very light kiss. “Now you’ve had the full Christmas Party experience,” the sprite said, grinning.

Dite laughed.

Out in the crowd, Jack smiled to himself. “Boy Jacqueline, you sure showed me,” he said outloud, to nobody in particular.

I know I did, Jacqueline’s voice replied in his head.

dear @mellomadness and @lovelypidge, I hope u guys wanted your evenings with a side of death by fluff because HERE YOU GO, HERE’S SOME FLUFF

Thank you for the prompts, mello!!! this one was so much fun. I almost ended it after Jack said “I’M A DELIGHT” but then I was like “no I gotta keep going, I gotta make both the otps adorable”. This is sorta canon, bc I have a canon way Diteline ends up happening and maybe I’ll post it one day as a lil drabble or whatever :p

Uhh and some definitions: 

Peplos is a Greek garment worn by both sexes, I believe. It’s body length with the top edge folded down half way to make it look like a second garment. It goes to about the ankles.

fibula were fancy pins used to hold up various garments in the classical world. For Dite’s outfit, they would be sitting at the shoulders, where the top edge of the peplos folds down.

This piece melted my heart tonight so I hope it does the same to you lovelies >:D