#there’s literally so much I wanna say
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i played honkai star rail
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr stelle#hsr mc#hsr trailblazer#march 7th#welt yang#himeko murata#dan heng#bronya rand#seele vollerei#bronseele#honkai#this game is so funny#the breaking bad and fight club reference caught me off guard 💀#I’m supposed to be studying for my finals-#as someone who’s been playing honkai impact for 5 years this game is like a treat#there’s literally so much I wanna say#but like it’s too long to put here 😭😭#I find it really funny how the female trailblazer has the same haircut as me rn tho#my art#art#digital art#fanart#illustration#procreate#don’t repost#sketch#if I feel up to it I’ll color these
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol
⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himbo—#— The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guy™️ kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#—But I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will 🤫🤐 now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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He has!!! ARIVED!!!!!
He's here he's here he's here!!!!!! Safe and sound!!! We sat down and did some coloring together!!!!
And also made sure he met his new neighbors! Had a nice chat with my childhood stuffed animal! Asking all about what his new home is like. And of course, he had to meet Boober Fraggle!
Watched some Winnie the Pooh together! I think he really liked it. I hope he felt warm and welcomed in my home. A nice and cozy first day here!
#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home puppet show#welcome home arg#not art#i mean except for the crayon doodle-#nfndjfkdk#IM FILLED WITH SO MUCH JOY RN!!!!!#Hes HERE!! i keep grabbing his little face with my hand!#hes so sweet. hes so small!#AAAAA I GET TO SPIN HIM FOR REAL!!!!!!!!#PICKING HIM UP AND SPINNING HIM IRL!!!!!#I wanna get a lil voice box for him so bad.#Specifically of him saying “Keep your smile merry and always know that I love you. Very much.”#like you have no idea NO IDEA#i need to find one small enough though!!!!!!#and get help. cause haha i cannot sew#anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!! jdjfjdkkfkfj Celebrated with cartoons and cracked open a box of crayons just for him!#literally#ive been saving those crayons for when he got here. didnt open them till today!!!!#SPECIAL CRAYONS FOR SPECIAL MAN!#also cant not imagine him staring in awe at my rainbow keyboard. hed love that shit#sorry if this is too silly and sappy im just!!!! so happy right now!!!!!
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I love your idea of Martha and Thomas bring separated in death out of bitterness and spitefulness of both families but I have this idea of Thomas and Martha not being separated because Alfred would have threatened both the Kanes and the Waynes with his shotgun and everyone knew Alfred wasn’t a person that could easily reasoned with when it came to his family
I hear you, and both have such delicous potential for angst, and while I’m sure Alfred would rather eat thunder and spit lighting than give Bruce over, how fucked up would it be if Martha’s brother made him choose?
“Give me my sister, and you keep the boy.”
A ghost for a corpse seems even.
Philip already terminated his custody rights, — it’s the easiest choice he ever made; it’s the hardest choice he ever made, — so he has no say. Only calls Jacob a fucked up son of a bitch, and he can see their mother in him.
It’s not often Alfred loses, but when it happens, it’s fateful, and it’s definitive, and it’s never, never well for the other person. He can’t win, because there’s no winner.
Imagine Bruce, young and scarred and sleepless with grief, staying wide awake. He’s not haunted by his parents’ graves; He’s haunted by the fact they’re empty.
#Jacob is a petty mf cause he won’t tell anyone where Martha is#and I just wanna say imagine being so much of a hater that you kidnap a corpse so your enemy in law don’t get to mourn properly#and Agatha is kinda off her rails cause I imagine she cremated thomas so literally no one gets access to his remains except her. which.#bestie idk I think you girlbossed a little too hard there#dc#bruce wayne#batman#thomas wayne#martha wayne#alfred pennyworth#battinson#writing
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LOYALTY (PART 6/?)
#madness combat#madcom#madness combat comic#hank j wimbleton#2bhank#cw blood#been reading yalls notes on the reblogs and i just wanna say#they inspire me so much they give me LIFE#genuinely one of the reasons i draw in the first place#going through them kicking my feet and giggling to myself like a schoolgirl#also to the person that asked...... yes this is technically canon divergent!#as canon divergent as madcom fan content can be. considering the lore of madcom quite literally accounts for AU shenanigans#the ocurrent and the nowhere and the other place and all that. the improbability drive. also the fact that the animation lore and the game#lore CANNOT be fitted with each other no matter how hard you try#not linearly anyway.#or not yet#but yeah here the fall of the nexus hasn't happened yet. OR it happened but phobos survived. not sure yet lol#anyway sorry for rambling akjshdkasj#i love the bizarre nature of madcom's plot
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?
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#mecha sonic#scrapnik mecha sonic#scrapnik island#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#arting#msab#good MORNING. i have given myself many emotions about mecha's big stupid cape. like a fool. such is the way i suppose#god ive been dying to get to this one. do you get it. do you understand#victories; if not on your own terms. achievements; if not the ones you thought you wanted. childhood dreams that never die.#which on that note yeah this is also my favorite one for showing eggman-era mecha as like#''yeah hes hes the most arrogant and murderous jackass on the planet but hes also like 17.''#& therefore kind of a lame little nerd by default. he thinks capes are sooooooo coool#we were all stupid kids once but sometimes u get older and u still wanna paint your house purple. and sometimes u still want a cool cape#it occurs to me that actual 17-year-olds may see this and to that i say: sorry. you guys are fine do ya thang.#its just that im 29 and have grey hair and shit so i have a certain Perspective on being 17 is all. & scrapnik mecha is like mid-30's to me#i knoooowwww he loves his big stupid cape so much. look at the refsheets with his dumbass spines poking holes through the the hood#tell me he has not made a COMMITMENT to wearing that hood despite being built in a way that makes that incredibly inconvenient#u look at nathalie fourdraine's christmas scrapniks post and tell me he isnt having so much fun#being all decorated and swishing around in that Even Bigger And Stupider Cape & shawl w/ his friends#hes so funny for that he's generally such a serious kinda character but on god he does also love some showmanship and flashiness.#i want to make it clear btw i also think capes are awesome i literally cosplay a guy with Two [2] capes.#& mecha is basically the coolest ever. but also hes still funny for that
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being like 5’2” - 5’4” is so attractive to me like omg ur head fits right under my chin and right in my tits ♡ let me hold you. i love being a tall girl
#im not picky about height. i do have a preference for shorter ppl tho 🙈#i just like being bigger hehe. like augh i love how u fit in my arms i love how i curl around u when we spoon i can hold u so close#im basically a giant teddy bear that holds u back n keeps u cozy. but also being small means ur so easy to fold n toss around 😩💕#i want to be big and comfy like.. my arms r always a good place to relax 💆🏾♀️#we can trade places sometimes‚ i won't say no 😏💕 but i wanna take care of you 💐🧎🏾♀️ this is already fulfilling for me#literally the most peaceful thing in the world#also luv to lean down or get on my knees sometimes for someone shorter than me. i am a hugger i am wrapping my arms#around ur waist and squeezing us together (but not too much). i enjoy being pressed against each other#having to hug someone over the shoulders out of convenience is always like nooo i give really good hugs i promise#lost the plot here folks.. this is a short person appreciation post ♡ that was very hot of you#my easily excitable heart thanks u 🙈 im so drawn to u like waow 👉🏾👈🏾 hi#god..
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one orrrr
two?
#not a perfect return to posting art#but fuck if my pettiness isn't a great driving force#lol about what snack??#some ole bullshit i saw on the whassit... insta or twitter#one of those two where “FaNs” go to pretend they got no fucking manners#oOoOh you're a this that whatever artist because look you draw like this one OoOoh#fuck outa here#literally I'm gonna post going through my whole goddamn style rolodex#also?#personal art style is not as big a deal as some of these new/young artists think it is#like maybe in commercial or children's book illustration#since they look for a specific vibe#and you're doing yourself an artistic disservice by focusing so much on “creating a personal style”#and this weird fucking self-imposed boundary of like appreciating how an artist renders this or that aspect of their drawing#because they think the plagiarism police are gonna SWAT them#like... it's pretty and you like it bcoz it speaks to you so#fucking just#try it out#try out that type of line weight#try out that color palette#try out that way of lighting a person or a scene#try it#listen everyone is out here being an aesthetic frankenstein's monster#the minute you try out xyz in your art it becomes “your style” because how you interpret it replicate it will be#influenced (altered you could say) by how you draw#unless your ass getting paid to draw on model or your art lead's style or you wanna get on a show/game so you're cobbling a quick portfolio#but that's not this#also lol next mutation still got fans#my childhood nostalgia says hello#tw eyestrain
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hm. idk, maybe the reason Luke Newton isn't announcing new projects or posting any Bridgerton content is because some of you demons treated him like hot trash instead of a creative that you wanted more work from and he decided fuck it, this isn't worth the stress. you know, like a lot of creatives who get mistreated do?
like this is a man who went from couch surfing in a friend's house and bartending to make ends meet, deciding that the Bridgerton audition was the last one he'd do before he quit, to suddenly being recognized on the street because that last audition propelled him to star in a global show where fans who have zero media comprehension blamed him for his character's actions and literally stalked him at any hotel he happens to stay at. he went from being a dude doing musical theatre and shopping at thrift stores and recording random songs with friends and posting silly memes on Twitter to being harassed on his only social media page and his friends insulted and his partners bullied by his supposed 'fans' and anything he posts being so microanalyzed that he can't do a damn thing without someone coming out the woodwork screaming about how he's the WORST and won't he think of the FANS!?
like damn he can't have a girlfriend without being harassed, he can't travel without being harassed, he can't like or not like social media posts without being harassed, he can't post a fucking MEME without being harassed, he can't take a vacation or cut his hair or hold someone's hand or just live his life without being blamed for some bullshit or another. but yeah, okay, 'when will Luke Newton come back?' as if it isn't your fault he's AWOL now
#luke newton#colin bridgerton#polin#lukola#bridgerton#bridgerton has a bullying problem- from kanthony fans to benophie (i see y'all with your anti blogs and your mean opinions) to polin#y'all lukolas say you're fans but most of you are the ones microanalyzing and feeling entitlement to this dude#and you know what?#jakola#because y'all straight up sip the hateraid and lbsr rn and call a spade a spade: you don't know this jack (jake? idk and idc) dude#you don't care about his achievements and aren't fans of his 'work'#you just want your stand-in avatar nic to have male attention as if male validation is the end all be all of a woman's success#and you see luke as the stand in for all the men who hurt you in the past but like he is literally not doing anything and y'all will be mad#and project that he somehow hurt nic as well by 'rejecting' her for his girlfriend who you hate because lbr she's conventionally attractive#when NICOLA Is conventionally attractive TOO ffs#how dare y'all make me step up to bat for a white man this way#leave him alone#aren't you exhausted?#'he didn't like xyz social media post and his girlfriend gives me the ick and he's not posting and appeasing me and blahblahblah' shut up#like y'all shut down at someone so much as raising their voice at you or posting some mild criticism for your bad takes#but you expect a man who has openly revealed his ADHD and anxiety to be the punching bag for all your vitriol#because he's not living his life in a way YOU approve of? like who are YOU to dictate how someone does and does not exist on this earth?#do some soul searching#do i love Luke's acting and want more of it and for him to star in everything i wanna watch? of course#but rn i'm gently cradling his face going 'baby you should RUN' because y'all are the PITS#YOU are the problem#one day y'all will realize that
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taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
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idk how off tangent this is but ngl. me as a transfem asian dyke seeing everyone mistake u for butch gives me more self assuredness and hope i can pass. thank you mr bixels for ur lgbtq swag
That makes me feel better.
#ask me#anon#i'm gonna be real that ask and a bunch of people saying the same thing really threw me off for a sec#idk i don't wanna feel like i've been lying to or deceiving you guys.#when you get a lot of people saying “wow i thought you were another gender” it's easy to interpret that as disappointment#or that i'd be more interesting or attractive if i was “more lgbtq+”#(i literally got a “nooo” comment too)#but that's intrusive thoughts no harm done#i'm second guessing my content too maybe i don't wanna draw so much wlw maybe that's a problem that's effecting my image#anyways i'm glad i can be this for you it does make me feel better#fag 🤝 dyke solidarity
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others�� house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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Was nobody gonna warn me that I would fall a little bit in love with every character in Stardew
#I am literally following them around and getting excited like a little puppy its insane#I cant decide who I wanna marry I like all of them… I was a little torn between Sebastian and Harvey at first but now Alex is an#unexpected fav??? and I like Elliott and Sam theyre so goofy.. and I appreciate how down to earth Leah is#Emily is also quickly growing on me she feels like the valleys manic pixie dream girl to me. or at least Clint’s manic pixie dream girl#the only characters I don’t have much to say abt are Shane and maru.. Shane’s still a little mean to me like I know he warms up to u as#u get to know him but I’m not there yet.. and I’m just not all that interested in Maru sadly#it’s not just the marriage candidates its almost all the NPCs especially Granny Evelyn SHES SO NICE?? shes fun to talk to I love giving#her my best flowers.. I also like saying hi to Willy and Marnie they’re nice!!! I love Marnie’s smile it’s so cute#I’m also fond of gus after seeing Linus’ 2 heart event that was so sweet of him… mister gus I’ll give u my best ingredience……..#I’m too busy trying to finish the community centre and make money before I go around marrying anyone or building up friendship#so I haven’t had a lot of time to get to know everyone ;w; I’m trying to trigger the wizards heart events now that I’m at like 9 hearts#with him cuz I wanna be able to move my buildings around#I actually have 2 saves rn one on my brothers pc and one on iOS. but the one on iOS is cosmos file and it just playing as him as a character#not as myself and I think he would marry Alex. but my pc save is my personal file so I’m marrying Harvey#until my pen gets fixed I’ll be drawing at a snails pace pairing the stupid thing but Im making cosmo a ref definitely#I kinda wanna get to know Pam too.. she’s like rough around the edges but in a jaded way I wanna know what she’s like yk#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#Stardew#yapping
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