#there you go! a new character who u don’t know well enough to queen or girlboss into being unlovable without showing ur whole racist asses 😍

[starlooove]

Shes fat too I love her

[beartitled]

Did you play the pristine cut of STP? What do you think of Dragon, Cage and HappilyEverAfter if so?

Spoilers for STP pristine cut under read more (+ a lot of text warning)

Hehe I see STP ppl are excited and want more silly comics

Well there’s a lot of things to say tbh 👀

Overall really enjoyed new content so far

It kinda feels like a fanservice for the people who already played the game

Which is not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong ☝️

I just view the original game as a perfect instalment, which doesn’t really need a continuation

New scenarios is just a pleasant bonus

(I’m one shot/short story fan okay 👉👈)

I already saw Dragon and Happily After routes

Yet to see all the variations the Cage route has to offer (heard ppl said it’s the most diverse one)

The Princess and The Dragon

HEY REMEMBER HOW I SAID I DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF CHANGING THE GENDERS OF THE CHARACTERS BC THAT WAY THE DYNAMIC WOULD BE UNSETTLING?

YEA SO THIS ROUTE EXPLORED THAT DYNAMIC GUYS

I enjoyed this route, bc again

It’s scary, uncomfortable, makes you feel unsafe and uneasy 👁️👁️

Awesome depiction of how scary this type of situation would be

And of course bonus points, we got to see the bird bois 🎉

(Opportunist go brush yo teeth, u spooky lookin ass)

Happily ever after

Ok

Noooow we’re talking

I love that route, it’s my favourite so far

The pain, the suffering, the absolutely devastated British crowman

Brilliant, chills

This one actually feels like a missing part of the og game to me

I wanted to go into details about my opinions on that route in the future post

But now I want to talk 😈

👏Smitten👏my boy👏how are you in your edgy villain era already omg

Can we just admit for a second how badass Smitten is for escaping protagonist’s body?

Like-💥

This was the first route I saw and was like “Ooooh that’s probably the new gimmick, every voice is doing to escape and shenanigans happen” AND NO Smitten is just that guy™️ absolute chad

Minus points for “we will give her something she doesn’t know she wants yet”

*hits Smitten with newspaper*

Bad voice 💥🗞️bad 💥🗞️ we listen to what 💥🗞️our queen 💥🗞️wants 🗞️💥🗞️💥💥

But it works okay

The atmosphere is immaculate, I was legit concerned for a moment

Ok now give me a moment to be a nerd ☝️🤓

I love how this route gives Smitten flaws

I think finally we saw that every voice has them, because voices are an isolated part of a person, a pure feeling if you will

And Smitten represents that naïve love idealisation/love obsession

The guy loves the princess, she is pure perfection to him

This feeling is blinding and honestly pretty toxic irl

During the whole og game Smitten was never conflicting?

He pretty much the comedic relief of the whole game (and least it felt like that to me)

I think he was kinda a missed potential

Yes, love is sweet

Crushes are can be funny, silly and overall just positive

But it can be so destructive, so painful and so so exhausting when it gets to the point of obsession

And that route gives you a direct illustration of it

Which is amazing

I honestly think we don’t have enough media just showcasing this feeling of obsessive love and how dangerous it is

(yandere trope doesn’t count 👿 this trope just kinda glorified the issue)

And the tragedy is SMITTEN IS TOO DELUSIONAL TO EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE’S DOING WRONG

My poor poor birb boy

He’s too focused on doing everything perfectly, to make princess satisfied, to make us satisfied, why isn’t it working? He does everything he can, why doesn’t it work? How doesn’t it work?

HE’S TOO LOVESTRUCK TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND REFLECT

AAAAAAAAA

God I’m insane about Happily ever after

As a person who struggles with this exact feeling of idolising and obsessing over ppl, I just really feel that route

Goth Smitten incoming *coughs*

Thanks for your question ❤️ hope you enjoyed reading my mess of thoughts💥

Share your thoughts in comments/reblogs if you want ppl

[vespertin-y]

liveblog time - here’s the first part of the third trial! OH BOY

-monokuma spends a long time insisting that he does NOT lie about motives and that the dead can be revived, but *only in the ultimate academy*. this...still doesn’t tell us how exactly they’re being revived (character backstory put into a new body VS the og person being put back into the simulation), but it’s at least interesting!

-”i dunno about tenko, but i’m pretty fuckin’ sure kiyo murdered angie!” miu calling the murderer themselves but then proceeding to be completely wrong about *how* the murder happened happens in nearly every trial and it’s always hilarious. love u queen.

-”you mean one of those *two* people! cuz a robot ain’t people, jack!” MIU! after all that maintenence together!?

-again with the ‘no-one could have opened that door but kokichi’! i get why it was written like this, but it’s still such a stupid assumption for the characters to make. they don’t even ASK if the others can lockpick, let alone consider that’s something easily lied about.

-”yeah, i did it. i killed angie.” [...hm.] HPDSHDDGHSGD SHUICHI YOU COULD AT LEAST *PRETEND* TO CONSIDER IT YOU’RE GONNA HURT HIS FEELINGS!! he even pulls out his blank, serious face for this one!!

-can irouma be normal. for FIVE MINUTES-

-”silence, outsider! only the Suspect Rangers are allowed to speak!” HPRGGDGDGDGFHFH. go go suspect rangers cartoon when...

-”it’s not meaningless!” [himiko?] “tenko’s death was meaningless? how dare you! poor tenko...how could you do this to her!?” “h-himiko...” “himiko, stop it with your crappy lies.” “lies...?” “everything you said is total bs. you didn’t give two shits about tenko when she was alive...but now you’re like, “oh no! poor tenko!” after she’s dead. c’mon, really?” “kokichi! enough!” ok first of all the voice acting here is so fucking good. himiko’s first shout before she dissolves into tears made me flinch in my seat, and kokichi is so low and cold and vicious. it’s also personally satisfying to me that’s it’s *gonta* who tells kokichi to stfu here, and that kokichi *listens* - he won’t bring this up again until after the trial, when he’s significantly gentler about it.

-”alright! i’ll put a silencing curse on whoever calls tenko’s death meaningless! the name of the curse is...Death Curse!” “i, um...suppose being dead would silence someone pretty good.” himiko and tsumugi r such a funny duo, they should’ve been besties

-”no, even if it was a different culprit, we need to know how tenko died. if we don’t find out who killed her, we won’t be able to work together. not now, not ever.” kaito is correct here however pls consider: me and tsumugi would really enjoy the paranoia and angst of knowing one of the group is a blackened!!

-”finally, you noticed! geez, you’re so slow...” “huh? did kokichi want us to notice-” FUCK now i really wish i transcribed it, but there was a bit early on in the trial where shuichi proves miu wrong and she claims she was just doing a bit to lead them to the right answer, and gonta says that’s really smart of her - he’s clearly applying the same concept here, and it makes me wonder how often he does so. tracking the thought processes of v3 characters is always so fascinating...

-”let us talk about tenko’s case, then. perhaps that will provide us a clue.” “y-yeah, maybe...” [i don’t mind going over tenko’s case, but...that was an abrupt change of topic. was that...intentional...?] HOLY SHIT WE ARE HALF AN HOUR INTO A FOUR HOUR TRIAL AND SHUICHI’S ALREADY CAUGHT ON. the serial killer backstory is definitely bullshit, kiyo literally cannot hide a murder to save his life.

-”well, that’s probably just a coinky-dink. the most suspicious out of us four is really...kiyo!” i’m starting to feel bad for the guy this is so embarrassing 😭

-”kehehe...it’s appearing before me...ooooh! i can see it clearly! the true identity of tenko’s killer!” bro you are laying it on WAY TOO THICK

-”maybe the floor and the hole have nothing to do with this case.” ”then why was floorboard under tenko lined up funny? gonta think that was so culprit could stab tenko from under floor...” “ooohh! nice observation, gonta! are you finally getting used to the class trials?” “uh-huh. thank you.” no offense but v3′s resident clown act obliterated me and then had a picnic on my grave i would simply quit murder.

-the entire rebuttal showdown is just miu correctly singling out kiyo - again - but being completely wrong about the method, so you have to disprove her. i’m in TEARS.

[atyd1960]

Marauders era characters and ships as SOUR songs with little to no explanation cause I’m not at all concerningly obsessed w Olivia!!

Brutal as Peter

- I already said on multiple occasions that I think Peter would be Olivia’s n.1 fan

- I’m so insecure I think, that I’ll die before I drink

- I don’t stick up for myself, I’m anxious and nothing can help

- All I did was try my best, this the kinda thanks I get?

Traitor as Crystalflower/Azkaban Wolfstar

- continuing with the Peter is an OR fan narrative thanks to @rmoony01 hehe

- Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

- Loved you at your worst, but that didn’t matter

- Ain’t it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?

- God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

Driver’s License as post break-up Jegulus (Regulus’ PoV)

- You’re probably with that blonde (redhead) girl who always made me doubt, she’s so much older than me, she’s everything I’m insecure about

- You said forever, now I drive alone past your street

- Today I drove through the suburbs, and pictured I was driving home to you

- Can’t drive past the places we used to go to, cause I still fucking love you, babe!

- I kinda wanna quote every single line but I’ll stop here:(

1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back as 5th year ATYD Wolfstar (specific I know)

- You got me fucked up in the head boy, never doubted myself so much

- Am I pretty am I fun boy? I hate that I give you power over that kinda stuff

- I’d leave you but the rollercoaster’s all I ever had

Good 4 u as Post breakup Marylily (Mary’s PoV)

[They broke up even tho they were in love bc Mary had a lot of internalised homophobia&religious trauma that Lily didn’t really know how to handle]

- Well good for you I guess you moved on really easily, you found a new girl (guy) and it only took a couple weeks

- Now you can be a better man (girl) for your brand new girl (man)

- G4U, you look happy and healthy- not me! If you ever cared to ask

- Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you? Well screw that! And screw you!

Enough For You as Grant

- I don’t usually talk about Grant but like… my boy just wanted Remus to love him the way he always loved Remus and meanwhile Remus was 2 busy being traumatized by his ex and it makes me so sad

- I wore makeup when we dated cause I thought you’d like me more if I looked like the other prom queens I know that you loved before

- Tried so hard to be everything that you liked, just for you to say you’re not the compliment type

- I knew how you took your coffee and your favorite songs by heart

- I read all of your self help books so you’d think that I was smart

- But don’t tell me you’re sorry, boy, feel sorry for yourself, cause someday I’ll be everything to somebody else

[gonna go cry now xoxoxo]

Jealousy, Jealousy as Marlene

- I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room, cause all I see are girls too good to be true

- I know their beauty’s not my lack, but it feels like that weight is on my back, and I can’t let it go

- I’m so sick of myself

- I see everyone getting all the things I want and I’m happy for them but then again I’m not

- Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too, I wanna be you so bad

Favorite Crime as post prank Wolfstar

- Doe eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody

- The things I did just so I could call you mine, the things you did… well I hope I was your favorite crime

- I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

- everything we broke and all the trouble that we made, but I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Hope ur ok as all the Marauders!

- Nothing’s forever, nothing’s as good as it seems

- When the clouds won’t iron out and the monsters creep into your house and every door is hard to close… well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred, but, god, I hope that you’re happier today- cause I love you, and I hope that you’re ok.

[forsakenmissives]

💞 and 💌 for the fic writer asks <33

💞 what’s the most important part of a story for you?

honestly i like an exciting story as much as the next person, but i think the characters and the writing are what stand out to me the most. i don't need a super plot-driven story if the characters are interesting and the writing is good/reflects the characters' personalities :P

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (wip) that has you excited!

you already know i gotta talk about my football au 😏 but something im really excited for in it is just. the entirety of Gwaine's storyline. the fic is from merlin's pov but u'll see the change in his relationships with the other players and i rly like the convo merlin has with balinor when it's announced gwaine's left gwynedd fc (under the read more if u wanna check it out 👀) and i love the interview gwaine has at the end of the season i just. oh my god this fic is just so fun to me 😭😭😭

let's get ((real)) fic writer asks :3

It’s on the front page of all news sites, and also the newspaper that Balinor has his head buried in, and Merlin reads it with feigned disinterest, though it’s transposed against memories of soft hair and a tight grip on his waist and sunlight glinting off reflective boots and shouts of derision across the pitch. Gwaine Orkney of Gwynedd FC has announced his leave from, well, Gwynedd FC — and everyone is holding their breath to see where the fuck he’ll go instead. Or who will make the highest bid.

“Are we eyeing him?” he finally asks after popping a few grapes in his mouth.

“Orkney?” Balinor barks out a laugh. “Fuck no.” He flips the paper back over to the front, studies the page with disinterest. “We already have Pendragon, don’t need any other drama queens.”

Which, fair enough. But Camelot could use another striker. [...] If they can afford it. And Merlin knows that they can, even if every season seems to bring CFC closer to relegation.

“You really mean to say Uther’s not in negotiations about it right now? [...] Seems like this is something he won’t be able to walk away from. [...] And if Aredian feels the slightest bit of interest, you know Uther will jump.”

“Spineless,” Balinor replies.

“So I’m right.” Merlin huffs a laugh, finally going back to eating. “Let’s see if they’ll know what to do with him once they get him.”

“We’ll see if he and Arthur can stand each other first.” Balinor flicks the paper, straightening it out, and goes back to reading, face now hidden. Merlin hums, spears a slice of apple. 

They’ll tear each other apart, is what’ll happen. And Merlin will watch it all, unable to do a thing about it. Two brilliant players, and they’ll die under Aredian’s tutelage. Amazing. Balinor is once again fully invested in other football news, [...] but Merlin still says his thoughts aloud:

“I thought Uther likes football. He likes Arthur, doesn’t he?” He presses the toes of his trainers against the legs of the table. Balinor turns the page. “He did fix Camelot up. I can’t and I won’t deny that. But what happened? Aredian’s been too lucky.”

Balinor clears his throat. The paper flutters.

“He must’ve been good at one point,” and Merlin does pretend that he’s never watched a match while hidden behind the couch, “but where that gaffer went, I’ll never know. And his dick certainly isn’t so good that Uther absolutely must stay on it.”

“Merlin,” Balinor finally snaps, but he doesn’t disagree. Merlin considers it a win.

[...]

If it were any other club, he’d think it might be Gwaine’s attitude. Where Arthur is bad, Gwaine is somehow worse. Well, not ‘somehow’. Arthur is unintentionally dramatic. Gawine is completely, totally intentionally dramatic, and he doesn’t care how that comes across. The more drama he can spark the better.

Merlin thinks of Gwen, her integrity and insight, and he thinks of Morgana, her intimidation and her intelligence, and he wonders if there’s a publicist in the world who could manage him. Probably not. Maybe he shouldn’t be wishing for Gwaine so bad, if only for Moragna’s sake.

[pinkacademic]

People of Colour in Pink Academia

Ok, I adore this aesthetic, obviously, but a lot of the classics are quite white. I mean I worship at the feet of Stacey Dash in Clueless, but she's unfortunately a WOC in a "Best Friend" role. So here's some Pink Academia characters who aren't white and are the MAIN character! *Note: I myself am white and just a little bit clueless so I'm sorry if this seems a little bit tone deaf but my position has always been that I should try to give the spotlight to POC when possible, so let me know if this comes off ok!

-Lara Jean Song Covey from To All the Boys I'v Loved Before (Books and Movis)loves to read her sweet little romance books, and you know that girl has the nicest notes (well... probably in the first month, and then she trails off like the rest of us!)

- Akeelah Anderson from Akeelah and the Bee (Movie) is is a reluctant academic at first, before learning to love spelling and aspire towards education. She’s especcially interesting because she’s younger, and a good role model for younger girls.

- Jesminder "Jess" Bharma from Bend it Like Beckham (Movie) is a football girl, which makes her a little different from most of the other PA ladies I usually celebrate, but her dedication to her sport, as well as balancing tradition and hobbies make her a great candidate- she also balances traditionally masculine and feminine. You don't have to be "girly" to be Pink!

- Rachel Chu from Crazy Rich Asians (Books and One Movie) is a sweetheart who is dedicated enough to academia that she's now a lecturer. Rachel as the organised, put-together vibe and is also a romantic, buried under her pragma. Bonus- her hunky boyfriend is also a character of colour who is an academic!

- Starr Carson from The Hate U Give (Book and Movie) goes to a predominantly white school and struggles with the difficult themes of the story *I can't speak as much about this one because it's still on my TBR!

- Quick Shout-Out to the Bratz, diverse Pink Academia QUEENS!

*Bonus: Anyone else excited about Annabeth for the new Percy Jackson adaptation? She may be another best friend/romantic interst, but I think she's going to be a positive influence.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[gojology]

Lovebirds.

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 |  omg this is my first request. ilysm anon, im now feelin super cool. also, i just realized i put recc (as in recommended) instead of requests. i’m super stupid LOL. anyways, im touch starved too dw bby, i’m servin u up a long one since i rlly like this request and after all u r my first! 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Gojo x Wife! Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2307 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | None! 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Coming home from a long mission in America, precisely 1 year, you’re excited to catch up on Gojo’s students, Nanami, and just Gojo in general.   Leaning out of the car window, resting your arm against your purse, you sighed. A humid wind brushed against your skin, tickling you. It had been quite a while since you had been in Japan, spending almost a year on a huge mission in America. You had killed a battalion worthy amount of special grades.   You spent most of your time in America in mostly horribly rundown places, equally as infested with curses. Although you found yourself enjoying America’s natural beauty, further away from the city life that many of the Americans found themselves enjoying, you much preferred Japan. after all, it was your home, and where you met Gojo Satoru. It would be another day until you could return, and you had gone through hundreds of scenarios of finally being in his arms again, but nonetheless, you were ecstatic at the thought of your husband’s touch.   Your phone’s notification chimed loudly, you threw your phone onto the other seat, heart jumping up to a high rate. It was a recording of Satoru loudly yelling, “OPEN YOUR FUCKING PHONE!” with a flurry of giggles afterwards.    Ijichi jumped, turning left and right. Whispering under his breath, he let out an exasperated sigh, switching the music channel.    The recording was mostly because of the time you had to ghost him due to work. Gojo had snuck on and recorded it, doing some magical tech stuff and giving you the custom notification sound. You had kept it that way ever since, since secretly, you enjoyed that you were so badly wanted by Gojo, that, and you had no idea how to change it back.    But the custom notification was sweet as well.   You smiled to yourself every time you heard it, a familiar twinge of pain flashing inside of you whenever you realized you wouldn’t be able to see him for a while.   Well, today, and the days after that would be different. You’d be able to finally see Gojo again, and his new students that he always frantically texted you about. Nanami, an old friend of Gojo, and also an old friend of yours, would also be there to welcome you back, you found yourself reminiscing about them.   You had heard so much about them, one of the kids being Sukuna’s vessel, you wondered how Gojo could contain such a fear, being around the kid at all times, he always told you about how the kid was actually energetic and happy and an overall great kid, you had heard about Nanami, finally coming back into the jujutsu sorcerer field of work, even though you always found that he still had a thing for finances.   You shook your head, “Save that shit for later, (Y/N).” muttering to yourself, you didn’t want to think of anything but Gojo, after all, it had been one fucking year of being deprived of the man you loved most. You were practically starving for the guy, in more ways than one.   Ijichi gulped, facing towards you, one hand on his steering wheel, “Forgive me Mrs. Satoru, but um.. Forgive me if I misheard, but I think I heard your phones notification go off.. Due to the ah- incredibly loud profanity.”   Now just realizing that you had completely forgotten about the phone notification, you nodded your thanks to Ijichi, a warmth rushing to your cheeks before opening up your phone.    In the small, rounded box containing Gojo’s message, he wrote in all caps, “SUGAR, MY BELOVED, MY QUEEN, HOW CLOSE ARE YOU? I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT I’M LITERALLY BOUNCING UP AND DOWN IN OUR BED.”   Smiling to yourself, you furiously texted back, “Calm down honeybun, I’ll be there in like, 24 hours, I’m not even fucking close.”   You almost instantly got a DM back, making you jump a bit in your seat. Even with the 5 years of friendship, and the 3 years of relationship, and the 2 years of marriage, he still almost always texted you back as quickly as possible.   “God I can’t fucking wait for you to meet the kids! We’ll keep it a surprise, yeah? We have a bunch of treats, and we also got the kids to get some gifts for you! How thoughtful aren’t they? They’re MY offspring by the way, so like, you know, whenever you want a kid, it’s your call ;)”   You snorted to yourself, smiling. He genuinely seemed so excited, and it was all shining through even though it was from a screen.    “Maybe in a few years, I don’t even wanna imagine a little you.”   Despite the excited, bubbling feeling brewing bigger and bigger in your stomach, you figured it’d be best to sleep before the chaos. Happily sighing, you laid down, using your purse as a pillow, drifting into a blissful sleep.  ‧₊˚✩彡.   You awoke to a sudden halt, Looking around your surroundings, you figured you were home. Ijichi looked like he was damn near about to fall asleep on the steering wheel.   Well, maybe that’s what 24 hours of constant driving did to you. You fished around in your purse, silently cursing looking for a water bottle.   “Here, Ijichi, looks like you ran a marathon.” you grinned, handing the slightly crumped water bottle to him.   He beamed as if a guardian angel had descended down and gave him a trillion dollars.   “Mrs. Satoru! You really mean it? The ride was nothing, I was merely instructed to do so and I would’ve done it happily regardless.”   You waved your hand, as a dismissal of the conversation. “You overwork yourself Ijichi, go catch a break, on me. If Gojo tears you apart, tell him he won’t be getting any pussy from me for another year.”   Ichiji nodded vigorously, before dashing off, probably towards a massage center, God that guy needed it. ‧₊˚✩彡.    Gojo frantically hopped up and down, it had been a day, now he was just waiting for you to bust through the door in your wild hair, his legs sprawled onto the whole of a couch, he stared at the ceiling, a dopey smile spread across his face.     “Satoru. (Y/N) will not even want to be associated with you, looking at your current state.” he remarked, staring at the sorcerer with his strikingly dead eyes.     “Nanami, how the fuck am I supposed to act calm?! I’ve waited for this moment for ONE YEAR! Does my hair look normal?!”    “Your hair looks just like an albino porcupine, just as usual.” Flipping the page of his newspaper, he sighed, rubbing his temples. “I will never understand how someone like (Y/N) would be.. Interested in you, Satoru.”     Gojo paid no attention to the insult Nanami had so clearly made, his ears were perked up, eavesdropping on a distant conversation coming closer and closer.     “Gojo-Senpai was telling me about this movie while training my cursed energy! He basically spoiled the whole thing but he told me that the main character was super annoying but apparently she dies in the end in the most gruesome way possible! It’s worth the watch, your soul will feel cleansed as soon as you see her lifeless body!”     “Yuuji, you literally spoiled the whole thing to me just now.” Fushiguro calmly stated, looking bored out of his mind.     “Oh, oops.” Yuuji rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled coyly, tightly hugging his present.    “What’s with the decorations, Gojo-Sensei?” inquired Nobara, stroking her warm toned brown hair. She had figured it was something about the presents that Gojo had forced the trio to get, but he never told them who it was for.    The room had been decorated with various balloons and confetti, scattered about, on the table and the ground. A cake box wrapped with a gigantic bow limply guarded whoever was brave enough to get their hands on something that Gojo seemed to be protecting with his life.    A pink table cover with a crudely drawn Gojo and what would seem to be a girl, a heart in the middle of the pair. In a horrible font with an even awfuller text, the text on top and at the bottom of the drawing proudly stated:    “WELCOME BACK QT”    “-YOU’RE HUSBAND AND THE CREW”    Nobara stood in distaste, trying to disguise the face she made. The drawing, the misused you’re, and the overall poor design choice was enough to almost make her vomit.     Nobara, about to make her distasteful statements about the whole mess, was suddenly shut up as Gojo started hopping up and down, looking directly at his phone.   “SHE’S COMING! SHE’S COMING! EVERYONE IN YOUR PLACES!”    Now, seeing Gojo freak out wasn’t outside of the ordinary, but it was to see him freak out to this extent. He was hopping up and down, blabbering about a certain woman named (Y/N). Nobara was pretty sure that if a curse attacked right now, even a special grade comparable to the one with the uncomplete domain could completely crush Gojo, the guy seemed completely unaware of the example he was setting to the kids. Even Yuuji stood in disbelief, and he had seen multiple tantrums by Gojo.   Nanami, however, licked his finger and flipped the newspaper page. A face of boredom obviously displayed.     Nobara, preparing herself to chew Gojo out about how utterly stupid and embarrassing he made the whole class of jujutsu sorcerers look like, stopped wide eyed as she looked at the doors slide wide open. ‧₊˚✩彡.    You stood, shyly, looking at the ground. Gojo dove headfirst into your arms, laughing like a maniac and digging his face into your shoulder. You breathed in his scent, scanning the room.     Three teens, sat wide-eyed, backs straight as they looked at you with eyes you couldn’t quite read. All three of them held presents.     The one with eyelids underneath his eyes (which you assumed was Yuuji, the vessel of Sukuna) eyed you curiously, his eye twitched.     The other boy, one with wild black-blue hair, sat mouth agape, before closing it. He looked like he was about to say something, before stopping entirely and hugging his present closer to his chest.    The warm haired girl darted her eyes between you two, seemingly trying to put the puzzle together.     Nanami put the newspaper down, glancing over to you two.    “This is obviously Gojo-Senpai’s wife. He hasn’t seen her in many months, and as you can see, really really misses her.” he paused, a small smile spreading on his face, a rare sight.     “I don’t even know why myself, but what can you do with lovebirds?” he thought aloud, his attention now focused to the two of you furiously making out, hands in places Yuuji and the crew didn’t need to see.    “Satoru, (Y/N), leave the kissing for later. Don’t you see the kids?”     You detached yourself from his mouth, panting for breath. The air being exhaled out of his nose fanned over your face, you had just now realized the kids again.     “Satoru, lets sit down. I bet the kids are surprised. “ you motioned to the couch. Gojo whined.     “What? They’re not that dumb, they can tell you’re my wife or at least, you’re my girlfriend, just by the way we kiss right? Isn’t this telling enough?”     “You didn’t tell them about me, ever did you?”     He sighed in defeat, holding tightly onto your arm as you dragged him over and sat down on the comfortable couch, opposite of Yuuji and the crew. Nanami scooched over, before finally getting up to pull another chair from somewhere else. Grunting, he excused himself from the room.     “YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND, GOJO-SENPAI? AND DIDN’T TELL US?” Yuuji questioned, looking like he was about to faint.    Gojo laughed, snuggling deeper onto you, almost like a koala.     “She’s my wife, aren’t you, sugar? Did you even pay attention to anything Nanami said? He literally said she was my wife.”     Megumi made an obvious gagging sound, but even he didn’t seem as bored as he was usually. He actually looked intrigued.     “Why didn’t you tell us, Gojo-Senpai?” the girl nagged, slamming her fist down on the table.     Gojo smiled, “Uh, well, I wanted it to be a surprise when she came back.”     “Couldn’t you have told us that you had a wife or something?” Megumi butt in.    The door slid open, Nanami coming in with a wooden stool.     “Knowing Gojo-Senpai, that probably went over his head.” grunting as he placed the wooden stool down and sat, he opened his newspaper again.     “Where do you guys know eachother?”    “Was Gojo-Senpai handsome back in highschool too?”    “Do you know what lipgloss Gojo-Senpai wears?”    “Gojo-Senpai, how did you know you loved her?”     “Gojo-Senpai, can we eat now?”     “Do you know why Gojo has such a horrible sweet tooth?”      Before you could even respond, Nanami put his hand up.     “Now, now, lets let the happy couple settle down.” he cleard his throat, not even making eye contact with anyone but the newspaper.     An audible chorus of groans sounded, “What do you expect us to do? We literally just met her!” moaned Yuuji.    “Weren’t you the one that literally asked if we could eat yet?”    Yuuji immediately shut up afterwards.     “Yuuji, she just came back from a 1 day trip. She should be laying down comfortably with Gojo-Senpai and they should be catching up. You’ll have the opportunity to talk to her and learn about her later. Right now she needs space.”    “But-” Nobara whined, clasping her hands together.    Nanami turned to Fushiguro, but even he had his mind set. “I didn’t even begin to think that Gojo had a wife. I really want to know more about her, if you think about it, this is all Gojo-Sensei’s fault.”    Nanami rubbed his temples, staring at the two of you for backup, realizing that you two were making out again.    Nanami sighed, 10 years later and you two were still the same.    

[jess-the-vampire]

Idk how u feel about the Grimwalker theory, and idk why but that 3rd meme (all those memes are drawn rlly well btw, and are rlly funny) reminded me of this idea I had that the palismen that choose Hunter was Like... Actually Belos' at one point way b4 he became the emperor. And the reason why Lil' Rascal choose him not only was bc he recognized that want - no need to choose your own path, but also saw the remnants of the person his old friend was.

oh thanks very much!!!

ok first off when it comes to the pailsman, i think that theory only works under the condition belos isn’t philip and is just...some other dude. Since phil has now canonically been confirmed to have a spider pailsman.

Interesting choice for him for sure.

Not sure if rascal’s previous owner will be important or not, they could be but i can easily see them not being important either. (Maybe one of phil’s friends who died owned him or something?)

thing is i think it’s fair to confirm the reason rascal bonded with hunter was more akin to their feelings or wanting to escape and explore, hunter and rascal bonded because of hunter’s desire for freedom.

They bond through emotion, as confirmed by the bat queen, but that might be the only reason.

this does not dismiss the idea he could have belonged to belos (Though that would imply belos had a desire for freedom too at one point), but it’s not likely rascal chose hunter solely on much relation since it doesn’t appear to work that way.

It would make me ask why rascal wouldn’t have a stronger reaction to belos upon seeing him if he knew him too.

Though it is a cool idea.

As for the grimwalker thing, yeahhhhhh, there’s no denying that the idea of hunter....being this...thing, is VERY heavily implied based on the book alone. The same eyes (Unique too, never seen another witch with his eye color yet), his nose, the fact the creature is raised from infancy.

People say belos might be trying to make a new one and that’s why the book is out, but i doubt it.

Because if he wanted to make one, then why did he just want the selkidomoius dead? He didn’t even harvest it, and if he needed to harvest it they’d figure out it was never killed in the first place! And hunter, since that was his job, would very much be punished for failing if that’s what the point of him doing that was. So basically there’s no way belos had that out attempting to make one right now because hunter would be SUPER in trouble for it.

So why have it out? Well outside of it being there for us, the viewers, and imply what might be foreshadowing for hunter. I think in canon belos had it out because it has details on the creature in question, and if belos made hunter....and NEEDS him, he’s probably just reading up on him for the future plans with him.

It would have details on grimwalker abilities and things belos would need to know about is he wanted his grimwalker to function for his plan.

but no, it’s very implied belos already made a grimwalker, he isn’t planning to make one right now. I think someone even pointed out a galdorstone actually is already missing if you go back to TTLGR.

And yeah, hunter right now makes the most sense to be it.

Because i knew something HAD to be special about him for belos to need him, it was a matter of what make hunter in particular so unique belos couldn’t use anyone else.

I don’t think it’s to harvest him or something, i think it’s likely a grimwalker has unique abilities that belos requires for the plan, but we need more on that for now.

I don’t know if belos wants to take over his body or not, but i def don’t think killing him is what they’re going for either.

It does raise the question about hunter’s “Ancestor” talk, and being “Found” by belos. Like that whole thing only gets more confusing under the condition belos like....made him.

But there is a likelyhood belos gave him false memories, there’s enough room here for that to be a likely reason, we have no reason to believe currently that belos didn’t just.....tell hunter stories of their ancestors being magicless just to avoid telling him what he is.

the show could be trying to throw us off, but also like, there’s strong evidence to support the idea hunter is something belos...made:

He clearly already made a grimwalker, and isn’t making a new one.

the grimwalker ages, and there’s even a CHECKMARK right now to the “Child/teen” stage.

Hunter has to be unique in some way to be part of the titan’s plans.

it would explain his lack of powers.

and it’s hard to deny he bears resemblance to the grimwalker depicted.

i’m pretty much expecting hunter’s next appearance to be centered around this grimwalker thing honestly. I’m curious to know more about what it is and why belos needed one.

cause if he wanted a body, couldn’t he just....find a random kid to do this with? Why did he MAKE one?

so i like this idea, it’s honestly funny cause one of my early assumptions about GG was “Maybe belos made a clone?”, cause i felt we were gonna get weird parental vibes with them and belos seems like the weirdo who’d do that. 

And i guess that came full circle now.

i def don’t think it’s creepy luz cause that’s both a waste of resources on belos’s part and couldn't even happen to begin with since he barely knew luz before the creature was already on earth and he can’t even get to earth to begin with so there’s no way that thing got sent by him.

But no, in conclusion, i like this idea.

Hunter is already an interesting character, this idea.....only builds on the pile of things that make him so interesting.

i’m impressed how in so few episodes they made him by far one of the most interesting characters in the series.

[queerstudiesnatural]

i was tagged by frank @soupstiel thank you wormstie <3

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

name: rain

star sign: taurus

height: 5'4 / 1.64 m

time: 1:45 am

birthday: may 10th we had a party

favourite bands/artists: see the thing about me is that i don’t feel shame. taylor swift, louis tomlinson, 5sos, luke hemmings, hozier. glee cast.

last movie: dancing queens, it’s a swedish movie about a girl who introduces herself as a boy to be able to dance with a group of drag queens. the dancing wasn’t amazing but the gay people were. leave it to scandinavian movies to give you actually realistic queer characters (or like, characters in general tbh). 

last show: currently watching good witch, and i liked the gilmore girls vibes at first but now i’m halfway through and i’m kinda bored tbh. cassie is my ideal woman though. 

when did i create this blog: september 2021 but i’ve had my main for 10 years

what i post: here u go

last thing i googled: “rrr movie” because that’s what frank said he watched and i thought he was talking about the french movie by that name but his description of it didn’t match so i looked it up and apparently it’s a different movie. the french movie is called rrrrrrr. hilarious movie if you understand french. 

other blogs: my main is @ghost-roads and i have lots of old side-blogs for old hyperfixations that i don’t use anymore but haven’t deleted bc i’m a hoarder

do i get asks?: sometimes. not enough :( i wanna hear from u guys! 

following: 1010 apparently. that’s too many. in my defense i do have several blogs. but i might need to do a bit of a cleanse bc the dash has become A Lot

average hours of sleep: 6 which is soooo not enough for me

instruments: um. a lot. my main instrument is the viol (or viola da gamba) but i also play the recorder, guitar, piano, harpsichord, and then i can find my way around a cello, a double bass, most percussion instruments, and i just bought a violin so i’m gonna try to learn that next. oh and voice.

what im wearing: a floor length flowery dress hashtag summer

dream job: tbh, what i already do (music teacher) but like. less underpaid.

dream trip: not much of a traveller, but i would like to visit more european countries, but not by myself. i need a travel companion otherwise i won’t enjoy myself

nationality: no comment

favourite songs: that’s difficult because when i like an artist i’m usually obsessed with their entire discography and it’s hard to pick favourites. so here are some songs that are iconic to me personally, but that isn’t to say i don’t also like other songs just as much. would you come home by tyler blackburn. long live by taylor swift. the night we met by lord huron. starting line by luke hemmings. movement by hozier.

last book i’ve read: good thing i know no shame. new moon from the twilight saga, which i finished almost a year ago and had been reading for the past three years. yeah

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: stars hollow from gilmore girls. middleton from good witch. and the shire from lotr. i realise those are places inside the universes in question but i mean if i were to live in those universes i’d have to pick a place and well i pick those places specifically. also yes i do just wanna live in a small town where everyone is friends and nothing bad happens.

i’m pretty sure that wasn’t 30 questions lol. i’m not gonna tag 20 people either so i guess fuck the rules. 

tagging the besties, sorry if you’re already been tagged, and of course there’s no pressure to actually do this <3

@sarcasmisalifechoice @roublardise @knifelesbianjo @girlbossdean @lesbianjoannaharvelle @charlie-bradbury @supersapphical @michaelcoded @dylfnatural @angelsdean @freakwiththeknifecollection

[arctichotch]

alex blake x reader nsfw alphabet

nfsw content - if you are underage please don’t read thanks lads

warnings (dom/sub undertones, dom!alex, use of word slut, mommy kink, umm other sex stuff i suppose, if you are not comfortable please dni)

also this is my first time writing smut so please go easy on me im weak

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

definitely the type to help you clean up. after that’s taken care of she will get you some water (stay hydrated folks!) and then will settle down to cuddle with you for the night. always wants to make sure you feel the most loved as possible after sex

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

you love her hands. you love the pleasure she can give you with them but also how safe you feel when she’s touching you.

she loves your thighs. she loves to hold them and pin them to your chest while she fucks you into the mattress. and just looking at them while imagining her head between them is enough to get her wound up

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

she loves feeling you cum around her fingers. it brings her great pleasure to know that she is the one who can make you cum so hard that you can barely remember your own name

as for her cumming, she loves to cum with you between her thighs. she loves to have that control over you. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

this woman definitely has a mommy kink and no one can tell me otherwise

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

oh yes, alex definitely knows what she is doing

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

hmm as i said before she loves to have you on your back with your thighs to your chest as she fucks you but she also loves to have you on your hands and knees while she fucks you. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely more serious but if something funny happens in the moment she’ll make a moment out of it

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

she takes care of herself and keeps it all organised

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

it can be intense but always at the forefront of her mind is your safety and making sure that you are ok and enjoying what is happening

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

now that you are together, there is not much need for it since she has you. but before you got together it was a regular occurrence while her mind was filled of thoughts of you and her together.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

mommy kink queen

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

mostly in bed, but she does love to take you over the counter every so often. variety is the spice of life, right?

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you. anything about you has the ability to turn her on. those jeans you wore to work that were just that bit tighter than normal? woooah, nearly killed her. your moans get her really going that extra bit more too.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

she’d never want to really hurt you. like besides the occasional spank, she’d never actually really hit you or hurt you like that. and like too much degrading is a no no for her. besides occasionally calling you names like slut she would never go to far or actually insult you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she loves giving, don’t get me wrong. but she loves receiving possibly more. the feeling of you between her thighs, your only focus pleasing her, the moans you let out just from pleasing her? that gets her off more than anything. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends on the mood i suppose and how long it’s been. if it’s been awhile because you’ve both been away on a case then it will often end up being fast and rough but other than that she likes to take things slower with you, to appreciate every moment.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

hell yeah, alex is up for a quickie. not often but when the opportunity presents itself she’s gotta take it of course

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yeah, as long as you are up for it and it doesn’t interfere with your jobs

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

obviously she’s not as young as she used to be but she can still go for 2/3 rounds and can hold off for as long as she needs

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

she’s definitely got a collection of toys for you both to use. her personal favourite is the strap that makes you see stars.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

if there’s anything alex can do, it’s tease you. if she wanted she could go for hours. she loves hearing you beg to cum, she can get you to say pretty much anything in that moment.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she’s not overly loud besides moans every so often. she likes to talk to you while you’re making her cum.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

hmm, she loves treating you. she’ll surprise you with a new toy for you both to use or new clothes. things that you wouldn’t get for yourself

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

this is so male aimed

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HIGH. she’s always ready to fuck you 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

she won’t go to sleep until you have. she’ll always make sure you are settled and comfortably asleep before she will allow herself to fall asleep.

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[promenadewithme]

First of all, I want to thank all of you so much for the follows, likes, comments, reblogs and support in general! I can't believe I hit 50 followers so soon! I know it’s not much, but I actually didn’t expect any at all so I’m so happy!! Thank you ❤️

Now, this is how the celebration is going to work: first you chose a song and a character. Then send it to my requests with your pronoun of choice, along with any other specifications and I'll write you a fic based on the song! You can either send the song or specific quotes as prompts

To find the fics I will write, use the #Anastasia's 50 followers celebration

This event starts today (May 20th) and ends June 10th

Support Me on Ko-Fi - if you’re feeling generous 💕

Songs:

Fluff (Romantic)

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

London Boy - Taylor Swift

Love Story - Taylor Swift

Lover - Taylor Swift

King of My Heart - Taylor Swift

Willow - Taylor Swift

Crazier - Taylor Swift

New Year’s Day - Taylor Swift

Daylight - Taylor Swift

Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift

How You Get The Girl - Taylor Swift

You Are In Love - Taylor Swift

It’s Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift

Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift

State Of Grace - Taylor Swift

Mine - Taylor Swift

Delicate - Taylor Swift

Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur

Naked - James Arthur

Rewrite The Stars - James Arthur + Anne-Marie

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

Tenerife Sea - Ed Sheeran

How Would You Feel (Paean) - Ed Sheeran

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran

Afterglow - Ed Sheeran

Lego House - Ed Sheeran

Dive - Ed Sheeran

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

Everything Has Changed - Ed Sheeran + Taylor Swift

I Was Made For Loving You - Tori Kelly + Ed Sheeran

Make You Feel My Love -Adele

One Call Away - Charlie Puth

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Little Things - One Direction

Night Changes - One Direction

Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

Andante, Andante - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

All Of Me - John Legend

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

Snowman - Sia

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Arms - Christina Perri

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Halo - Beyoncé

The Only Exception - Paramore

Dandelions - Ruth B

Someone To You - BANNERS

Would You Be So Kind - Dodie

Someone You Like - The Girl and The Dreamcatcher

If I Could Tell Her - Ben Platt 

Absolutely Smitten - Dodie

How Long Will I Love - Ellie Goulding

Angst (Romantic)

Good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

Drivers License - Olivia Rodrigo

Deja Vu - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Traitor - Olivia Rodrigo

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia Rodrigo

Happier - Olivia Rodrigo

Jealousy, Jealousy- Olivia Rodrigo

Favourite Crime - Olivia Rodrigo

Hope Ur Ok - Olivia Rodrigo

Betty - Taylor Swift

Exile - Taylor Swift

Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift

Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

Tolerate It - Taylor Swift

You’re Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

Should’ve Said No - Taylor Swift

White Horse - Taylor Swift

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

My Tears Ricochet - Taylor Swift

Back to December - Taylor Swift

Breathe - Taylor Swift

The 1 - Taylor Swift

All Too Well - Taylor Swift

Invisible String - Taylor Swift

Evermore - Taylor Swift

Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez

The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez

When I Was Your Man -Bruno Mars

Someone Like You - Adele

Hello - Adele

All I Ask - Adele

Let Her Go - Passenger

Say Something - A Great Big World

Stay With Me - Sam Smith

California King Bed - Rihanna

Take a Bow - Rihanna

Broken Hearted Girl - Beyoncé

Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

SOS - ABBA

One Of Us - ABBA

Half a Heart - One Direction

Yesterday - The Beatles

If The World Was Ending - Julia Michaels

Colors - Halsey

Happier - Ed Sheeran

One Last Time - Ariana Grande

Why’d You Only Call Me When You High - Artic Monkeys

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

Just a Friend to You - Meghan Trainor

All I Want - Kodaline

Love You From A Distance - Ashley Kutcher

Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ

I Don’t Wanna See You With Her - Maria Mena

Let Her Go - Passenger

All My Tears - Ane Brun

Always On My Mind - Elvis Presley

Someone to you - Lewis Capaldi 

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

Others

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

No Body, No Crime - Taylor Swift

Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift

Blank Space - Taylor Swift

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

Getaway Car -Taylor Swift

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

The Man - Taylor Swift

22 - Taylor Swift

Dorothea - Taylor Swift

Marjorie - Taylor Swift

The Best Day - Taylor Swift

Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

I Forgot That You Existed - Taylor Swift

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Taylor Swift

The Lakes - Taylor Swift

The Last Great American Dynasty - Taylor Swift

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

When I Kissed The Teacher - ABBA

I Have A Dream - ABBA

I've Been Waiting For You - ABBA

You'll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins

Titanium - David Guetta (feat. Sia)

F**ckin' Perfect - P!nk

New Rules - Dua Lipa

IDGAF - Dua Lipa

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

You Should See Me in A Crown - Billie Eilish

COPYCAT - Billie Eilish

Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Stand By You - Rachel Platten

Firework - Katy Perry

Because You Loved Me - Céline Dion

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa + Charlie Puth

NO - Meghan Trainor

Skyfall - Adele

Gasoline - Halsey

Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran

Save Myself - Ed Sheeran

Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran

Small Bump - Ed Sheeran

Growing Up - Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Ed Sheeran

7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Bad Liar - Selena Gomez

Rare - Selena Gomez

Who Says - Selena Gomez

I Turn To You - Christina Aguilera

Till There Was You - The Beatles

Sweetest Devotion - Adele

ps: sorry, I'm a Swiftie and a Sheerio <3

Characters

Character x fem! or GN! reader (ROMANTIC)

ACOTAR: Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Lucien, Helion, Tarquin, kallias and Tamlin.

BRIDGERTON: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton and Simon Basset.

GRISHAVERSE: Nikolai, Mal, The Darkling, Kaz, Matthias, Jesper, Wylan and David.

THRONE OF GLASS: Dorian Havilliard and Chaol Westfall.

HARRY POTTER: Harry, Ron, Neville, Draco, George, Fred, Oliver, Cedric, Young Sirius, Young James and Young Remus.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley.

MARVEL: Steve, Bucky, Sam, Pietro, Loki, Thor, Peter Parker, Ned, Tony, Bruce, Vision, Clint, T'Challa, Scott Lang, James Rhodes, Peter Quill and Stephen Strange.

THE HUNGER GAMES: Peeta, Gale and Finnick.

GREY'S ANATOMY: Derek Shepherd, Andrew DeLuca, Alex Karev, Jackson Avery, Mark Sloan, George O'Malley, Link, Koracick and Ben Warren.

TEEN WOLF: Scott, Stiles, Derek, Isaac, Liam and Jackson.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Damon, Stefan, Matt, Klaus, Elijah and Kai.

NARNIA: Peter, Edmund and Caspian.

STAR WARS: Anakin, Obi Wan, Kylo, Han, Luke, Poe, Finn and Din Djarin.

Character x platonic!/sis!/bro!/enemy!/daughter!/son!/mentor!/or anything else platonic Reader

ACOTAR: Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Feure, Nesta, Elain, Mor, Amren, Nyx, Lucien, Tarquin, Helion, Kallias, Tamlin, Ianthe, Suriel and Bone Carver.

GRISHAVERSE: Nikolai, Mal, Darkling, David, Alina, Bahgra, Zoya, Tamar, Tolya, Apparat, Kaz, Matthias, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Inej, Tantee Heleen and Pekka Rollins.

THRONE OF GLASS: Dorian, Chaol and Aelin.

BRIDGERTON: Anthony, Benedict, Colin; Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, Hyacinth, Lady Violet, Simon, Lady Danbury, Penelope, Lady Portia Featherington, Marina, Sienna, Genevieve, Cressida and Queen Charlotte.

HARRY POTTER: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Draco, George, Fred, Oliver, Cedric, Cho, Seamus, Fleur, Pansy, Myrtle, Sirius (old or young), James (old or young), Remus (old or young), Lily (old or young), Molly, Arthur, Bill, Percy, Charlie, Xenophilus Lovegood, Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Moody, Flitwick, Umbridge, Bellatrix, Voldemort, Lucius, Narcissa, Peter Pettigrew, Helga Hufflepuff, Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Dobby and Nearly Headless Nick.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Mr Darcy, Georgiana Darcy, Mr Bingley, Caroline Bingley, Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Bennet, Mary Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Catherine Bennet, Charlotte Lucas, Wickam, Mr Collins, Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet.

MARVEL: Steve, Peggy, Sharon, Natasha, Bucky, Sam, Carol, Monica Rambeau, Pietro, Wanda, Agatha Harkness, Loki, Frigga, Odin, Hela, Thor, Heimdall, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, Valkyrie, Peter Parker, Ned, MJ, Tony, Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Howard, Bruce, Vision, Clint, T'Challa, Shuri, Scott, Hope, Hank, Cassie, James Rhodes, Peter Quill, Gamora, Mantis, Nebula, Groot, Rocket, Drax, Stephen Strange, Wong, Nick Fury, Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, Thanos, Ancient One, Red Skull, Ultron, John Walker and Zemo.

THE HUNGER GAMES: Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Finnick, Haymitch, Rue, President Snow, Primrose, Effie, Cinna and Johanna.

GREY'S ANATOMY: Meredith, Derek, Andrew, Alex, Jackson, Mark, Lexie, Cristina, April, Izzie, George, Callie, Owen, Addison, Arizona, Miranda, Amelia, Link, Burke, Teddy, Maggie, Richard, Carina, Ben Warren, Megan Hunt, Ellis Grey, Catherine Avery and Tom Koracick.

TEEN WOLF: Scott, Stiles, Malia, Lydia, Allison, Derek, Isaac, Liam, Jackson, Peter Hale, Chris Argent, Sheriff Stilinski, Kira, Melissa McCall and Noshiko Yukimura.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Damon, Elena, Katherine, Stefan, Caroline, Bonnie, Jenna, Klaus, Elijah, Rebeka, Sheriff Forbes, Kai and Lexi.

NARNIA: Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, Caspian and Aslan.

STAR WARS: Anakin, Padme, Yoda, Jarjar, Obi Wan, Kylo, Rey, Han, Leia, Luke, Poe, Finn and Din Djarin and Grogu.

No pressure tags: @venuswritesfanfic @for-bebbanburg @maggiescarborough @multifandomfix @sweetnspicysimp @lazypeachsoul @magravenwrites

[yangscutebutt]

I have the BIGGEST HEAD CANNON FOR VOL 9.

It all started with reading this…if you haven’t taken a look at this vol. 9 prediction by reddit user u/iamthatguy54 please do

And while im not on reddit i had some opinions about this which lead me down… a rabbit hole. Id love to hear all your comments and thoughts about this!

Alice in Wonderland is a perfect allusion to what happened to the squad at the end of vol. 8. And Yang is Alice, making the other people who also fell into Wonderland characters as well. I have chills writing this you guys!!! Ive taken some screenshots for proof and it is UNDENIABLE.

Lets looks at Alice’s entrance to Wonderland. This is a photo of her decent down the hole which she crawled into

Heres yangs fall! Both long blondes falling in the exact same position. Coincidence, I think NOT.

Then I went to see what the original animations fall scene and i noticed this… do you guys see that!!!!

That is an allusion to Blake! Alice and the cat literally part ways. And Alice starts the decent aloof and confused. Alice then falls. But gently falls down and shes able to inspect the world that is this tunnel/ hole, picking up books, even sitting in a rocking chair momentarily.

Then i saw this gif. While shes falling past all these artifacts we she her breifly pass this…

If you haven’t heard theres a tale called the girl who fell through the earth like OP mentions. I know the diagram Alice passes isnt very clear but to me it looks as though its a diagram explaining her fall, as a fall through the earth. Further aliding to the fairy tale from Rwby.

As you can see at the end Alice falls on her head. And for me I can predict vol 9 to start like this:

Yang will be falling unconsciously. She will regain consciousness during her fall and start to notice she is falling but doesnt know where. She may see things while falling down to e island but have enough time to regain atleast some if not all of her aura back. Even though she’ll be totally aware for her landing she might be distracted and will clumsily land on her head. After falling on her head shell see something in the brush that catches her attention which she follows deep into the forest trying to catch. Only driving her away from the shore and closer to the TREE.

Because of these predictions too, i don’t think they will fall very far apart from one another in respect to time, they will all get there the same day. Unfortunately they will all fall very far away from each other except for Blake and Ruby and maybe Jaune and Weiss.

Okay I hope youre still here because. I wanted to check my theory out a little more. If alice was falling through the earth its safe to say our crew is as well. So i sought out to find if falling from “around atlas” where exactly would straight through go? Now i know that this was inside a pocket dimension so theres no way to say, however. I found these globes of Remnant rendered by another reddit user u/shazarakk.

The first thing to note is that THE WATER IS THE LAND AND THE LAND IS THE WATER!

I hope my labeling is helpful and please know i tried to the best of my ability to be as accurate as possible. I looks for certain geographic locations and if you want to know how i get a certain location id be happy to answer.

I noticed in the map its seems like i couldn’t see Menagerie very well because on the map its Remnants south ish pole?! Making atlas is north pole! At least to me anyway.

Therefore if they fell straight through the earth like depicted by the pole animation in Alice in Wonder, its very possible that they went to the Shallow sea as also speculated in OPs HC. The shallow sea could be menagerie but it could be a pocket dimension near menagerie. And if this is all true there could be the god of animals that we are still yet to meet and maybe our heroines have some knowledge to seek from him and maybe he lives in THE TREE.

So to conclude, because Yang is so heavily alluded to alice in wonderland i think each member who fell will aquire a “new character “ so to say. I havent thought well into who is who but here are some roles to fill

Ruby, weiss, blake, jaune, and neo.

Mad Hatter (neo)

Caterpiller (maybe the god of animals)

Cheshire cat ( i couldn’t guess who this could possibly be. )

White rabbit (i think is on the island when yang gets there and not typical cast member)

The queen of hearts (weiss especially if she fell around the same time jaune and they have to work together)

Tweedle dee

Tweedle dum (jaune is one forsure)

[bogkeep]

theo’s tarot collection

hi hello i suffer from a terrible ailment called I Keep Acquiring New Tarot Decks Even Though I Am A Tarot Newbie.... so i figured i could do a little writeup about my decks if anyone is interested in that :’) basically i started doing tarot in 2019 because i couldn’t get a hold of a therapist (i was put on a year long waitlist WAHOO) so i basically. self-medicated with tarot readings hahaha. i had a friend who gave me a lot of really good advice and had done some readings for me before who felt immensely comforting. the way i read them is like... it allows you to confront your situation and your emotions through a new angle, but you gotta be brave enough to do it - or ask someone to do it for you. it can be a really intense but also cathartic experience. it’s not for everyone! but i like it. i still consider myself a novice and still learning so i am not in ANY way trying to paint myself as a Knowledgabl Tarot Witch - in a perfect timeline that’s who i wish i was, but i’m ultimately just some guy with a solid appreciation for art and personal growth.

ANYWAY... onto my DECKS (the tumblr post will probably squish the quality outta my photos so i’m gonna link the URLs for Full View)

Children of Litha by Alexandria Huntington

i consider this my main and first deck (i am NOT counting the official homestuck deck i bought as a teen just because i wanted to look at the art. no offense to the homestuck deck i’m just not gonna use fandom decks)! i picked it out but my Tarot Friend gifted it to me... i think it’s a very good starter deck for me personally, and it’s the deck i’ve bonded with and used the most. i even put a fancy sticker on the box as part of the bonding process. i always feel so bad for all of my other decks because i haven’t been able to dedicate as much time for them as i have this one... so it’s definitely the deck i go to for the most accurate readings for myself. Vibes and Thematic Coherence: the art in this is so beautiful and elegant. the symbolism more or less draws on the classic smith-waite deck, but redrawn for its theme. i like that it has a very consistent imagery! out of the major arcana, the fool is the only fully human character - every other character is part animal in some way or other. then the suit of swords depicts birds, winged insects and the air element, coins depict ungulates and equines and earth, wands has felines and canines and fiery imagery, and cups has fish and creatures of and in the sea. the court cards have humans. the suit symbols are always depicted consistently, as white silhouettes. there are also two extra cards: the all and the void. Pamphlet: the reason i think this was a good starter deck is because both because the art feels very intuitive about what it depicts (to me, at least), the descriptions in the pamphlet describe what is happening and why the artist chose this motif for this card. it has honestly helped me remember the meanings a lot, because i’ll be reading the other decks and be like “oh that’s the octopus card i know what the octopus card is about”. there are also little poems next to the main descriptions that work as a pretty solid tl;dr for the core meanings. i also like that the court cards are referred to in the sense of like... a knight is “a young person with masculine energy” rather than “a young man”. it feels more fluid and vibe-y about gender than traditional decks ya feel. on a range from Abstract to Directness this one feels like it sits pretty comfortable in the middle, maybe leaning on Abstractness. it has always given me gentle instructions and advice.

Cardfeel: the cards are very smooth and nice with gold edges. the cards are not NOT solid, but i wish they had been a little thicker because i’m always afraid i’m going to accidentally damage them - but that’s probably a feeling i have about most of my possessions tbh!! i think they’re a good size, too, at least for my small hands. they’re more on the long/slender side so they are good for me to shuffle. i also like the box, it’s a hard flip box with a magnet. i think u can’t go wrong with that. this is the deck i’ve travelled with the most (did u know hotel beds are the best tarot reading spaces. for some reason they just Work). The Spacious Tarot by Annie Ruygt and Carrie Mallon

this is one i really like a lot and want to use more! i absolutely adore the concept of it, but it’s a little harder for me to read than the Litha one. Vibes and Thematic Coherence: this one is like!!! it’s about the open space and the quietness. the vibes are IMMACULATE. the cards aren’t filled to the brim with happenstance and symbolism, but they each feel like a little refuge. very meditative. i also like that the court cards are not gendered at all - there is no page, knight, queen and king, but rather child, explorer, guardian and elder. i am really into that, especially as steps of mastery of their suit. i do think that this deck is probably easier to read if you’re more experienced with tarot meanings and symbolisms, because the illustrations aren’t necessarily that intuitive. Pamphlet: i haven’t read through this one very much, but i think it’s more on the abstract side of the Abstract to Direct scale. it might just feel like that because it describes what the card symbolizes without drawing much on what the card depicts - it is generally a pretty abstract and meditative deck. i like it for what it is! but it’s harder for me to read than my main Litha deck. Cardfeel: there’s something about the cardfeel i wish was different. they’re perfectly ok cards, they’re smooth and not too thin, but i still wish they had had more heft or something. while the cards fit very well into my hands i think maybe they could’ve been Larger to emphasize their motifs of openness and space. or texture. or gilded edges. i really don’t know what i want. the box however is very good and easy to open and use!! never underestimate a good box.

Tarot of the Divine by Yoshi Toshitani

this is a deck i Had To Get because i knew the artist was working on it and i was always Planning To... it is not a deck i use very often but i absolutey adore it. you can also get it with an accompanying fairytale book, i thought i had ordered that but i was Wronge. Vibes and Thematic Coherency: it depicts motifs and characters from stories, myths, and fairytales from a vast variety of cultures. it’s AMAZING. the art is so clean and crisp and i was VERY EXCITED to find a card drawing on a sami story (page of coins)! i don’t have a lot to say except that yoshi yoshitani has done some incredible work on this. Pamphlet: while i do not have the Fairytale Book edition, the pamphlet is really super nice because it shows pictures of the cards, lists what story it depicts and where the story is from, gives a short description for how this scene or character embodies the card. it then lists some of the Card Characteristics beneath. very simple but very nice. i really like pamphlets that explain Why the artist picked the motifs they did - for me personally it really helps me connect to the deck and their symbols. it’s probably more on the Direct side of the scale thanks to this. Cardfeel: these are textured!! they feel like the playing card deck my grandmother has, which feels apt to me. textures make the cards feel solid to me. they’re also a very nice size to hold. the edges are not guilded, but with the white frames it looks good and nice. the box is nice but also Large, possibly to fit with the book? might not be ideal for travel, but there’s nothing stopping you from getting a different box or pouch.

The Star Spinner Tarot by Trung Le Nguyen

my most recent deck... i KNEW about the artist and the deck from before, but wasn’t PLANNING to get it, but then i saw it in the comic book store and i wasn’t able to pass it by. no regrets, it’s a wonderful deck. Vibes and Thematic Coherence: absolutely lovely art and style. it’s another deck drawing on fairytale themed motifs. i’m loving the use of colors and circles. it also has four different cards for the Lovers so you can choose which one(s) speak to you the most, something i think is just wonderful. i think the only thing i found a little... odd? was that the suit of Wands looks kinda same-y, which isn’t a bad thing, but it was the only suit that looked that way to me. they’re still very very nice. ALSO THE BACK OF THE CARDS ARE SHINY. I JUST THINK THAT’S VERY LOVELY. as a Physical Product these are chef’s kiss. Pamphlet: on the Abstract to Directness scale, these are VERY DIRECT. the pamphlet doesn’t say a lot about why the cards depict what they do, but go straight into card meaning, and in a very unambiguous way. i think it can both work very well, leaving you little room to avoid your feelings, but it also has a higher margin to miss completely. for being such a cutesy deck full of fairies the pamphlet is definitely giving you a smack at the side of your head. i haven’t used this deck a lot yet due to its newness, but i definitely want to try it out more to see what it does to me.

Cardfeel: out of all of my decks i think this has the best cardfeel... the cards feel really solid, and have a very good size that feel just right for them. like i sort of fell in love with the deck when i actually started shuffling it and browsing the cards. buying cards - especially on the internet - can be a gamble because you Can’t Know The Cardfeel. with decks like the Spacious Tarot i got a little dissappointed, but this one was a very pleasant surprise. also the box is very good and look like a work of art. The Fyodor Pavlov Tarot

honestly one of my new favourite decks that i ABSOLUTELY am going to use more and become more familiar with. also a deck that i knew the artist was working on, and supported the kickstarter the moment it was announced. my deck also came with two Magician cards and i don’t know why. extra wizard for me??? Vibes and Thematic Coherence: the look and feel of this deck is Immaculate. it looks very classical and traditional (and absolutely gorgeous), it is grounded in the classical smith-waite imagery but Expands Upon It, draws on the diversity of human culture and experiences... also loving the energy of “THIS CARD IS TRANS NOW AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT” many cards have (most famously the Lovers, but i don’t want to post pics of any of the cards depicting nudity or risqué themes on tumblr). i absolutely adore the knight of coins card (THE HORSE IS HIS FRIEND AND SERVICE ANIMAL!!). it’s just Really Very Good. also the backside has pretty Shiny stars and i like it. Pamphlet: i really like this one. it is a deeply personal pamphlet, where fyodor pavlov directly discusses his relationship to the cards and why he chose the motifs he did. it feels really grounded in the world we live in, and also such a vulnerable thing to share with us all. it’s on the Direct side of the scale without necessarily telling you “the card is definitely this one thing”. my only wish is that it was easier to navigate at a glance. Cardfeel: THEY ARE TEXTURED!!! these cards are definitely long and slender and benefit someone with larger hands than mine, but i still like them a lot. i do wish they had been a smidge heavier just so i wouldn’t worry so much about damaging them... but i don’t want to be ungrateful. the deck and the box are wonderfully crafted. The Botanica Tarot by Kevin Jay Stanton

oh boy did i support the kickstarter for this one... i had actually bought the major arcana when it was the only version available, and then the artist decided to make a full deck. it’s an absolute work of art. Vibes and Thematic Coherence: oh boy oh boy does it serve vibes and thematic coherence. it’s Plants all the way down, OBVIOUSLY, but also like... every card in the minor arcana depicts their suit in its own way. like the range of coins/currency from various times and cultures?? AMAZING. looking at the art of this deck is a DELIGHT. every card manages to be beautiful and interesting despite there not being a single living creature depicted on any of them. i WILL say they, same as the spacious tarot, are not the most intuitive to read if you’re not super familiar with either the Plants or the meanings of the cards. Pamphlet: you can fit so much plant knowledge in this one. i got a version of the deck with a beautiful little book, but there’s also a small pamphlet that follows the deck itself (which i admittedly have not looked too closely at yet). there’s descriptions for why this specific plant has been chosen for each card, and then some Card Meaning Keywords. so definitely on the Abstract side of my imaginary tarot pamphlet scale, because you mostly have plant symbolism to go on. i haven’t done a lot of readings with this deck, i’ll be honest - but it’s a beautiful treasure that i adore. Cardfeel: they’re Smoothe and Guilded edges. they can feel a little wide for my hands, but not so much that i cannot shuffle. i think maybe a smidge of texture wouldve been good with this deck since it would fit the look of the painted art. i also did get like... a big kickstarter reward version of this deck. it came in a tin box with extra treasures and a cloth and pins... the actual card box itself is beautiful to look at, but i have to say that the one i got is VERY HARD TO OPEN. i might transfer the cards into a pouch if i want to be reading them more often. IKEA deck

yes this is a meme deck and i don’t really use it but I WANTED TO SHARE... i think the major arcana is very cool and funny, but i was dissappointed to find that the suit cards are just “ikea part but Multiple Times”. it also does not come with a pamphlet. also yes yes it’s funny that the names of the cards are spelled in a “silly ikea word language” BUT IKEA NAMES ARE JUST SWEDISH....... IT’S NOT A SECRET LANGUAGE IT’S JUST SWEDISH............ it’s a funny deck to have and it doesn’t take up much space so eh! shrugs!!! The Lubanko Tarot by Emily Lubanko

another kickstarter deck... it’s gorgeous but there is a chance i might gift it to someone else. not because i regret getting it or don’t like it, but because i already have so many decks that speak to me, while this one gives me vibes of serving someone else better. does that make any sense? i admittedly haven’t looked at the pamplet so much so i think i’m going to skip that description for this one. Vibes and Thematic Coherency: the MOVEMENT and the COLORS... it’s Capturing Feelings in a really good way. i mean. i got it for the vibes and it’s serving vibes. Cardfeel: Smoothe Cards. shiny silver edges, like a slippery fish in a rapid river. it feels good and right for this deck. also good box. i know most of these decks have Good Box, it’s just the botanica one that let me down by being difficult. The Oriens Tarot by AmbiSun

i don’t have this deck anymore, i gifted it to my boyfriend... i found these pics on my twitter. it’s one of the first decks i supported on kickstarter and it’s VERY pretty, and it has HOLOGRAPHIC RAINBOW EDGES HOT DAMN. it’s another one of those instances where i Yearned for it and then found that it didn’t fit me as well as i had hoped. tarot is just one of those things where you have to find what Works for you. at this time the children of litha was working so well for me and i really liked the depiction of animals in it, i wasn’t able to connect to another animal deck in the same way... and it was before my tarot collection snowballed into what i have now. C’EST LA VIE ... i don’t have a smith-waite deck. i’m a fake tarot fan. i am however familiarizing myself by following Jessica Dore on twitter and subscribing to her monthly newsletters. i really love how she talks about these cards and how she interprets them.

[dameronology]

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 1

part one: an insight into how microwaving tea should be a capital crime (fem! reader) 

song for this chapter - ldn by lily allen

summary: you’re Percival; reigning queen of the Kingsman, certified bad-ass and one of the most self-sufficient women to have ever graced the City of London. A mission with the Statesmen is a chance to further your career and tighten your grip on international success - it’s a shame that Jack Daniels already has his eyes on the throne. He also has his eyes on you, and it proves to be a problem for you both. {series masterlist}

this has all the kingsman characters but doesn’t follow the canon of golden circle. eggsy, tequila, champ, merlin etc all crop up throughout the series as well! if u want to be tagged, gimme a shout 

- jazz

You didn’t usually answer the door when someone knocked after 11PM. 

It was just common sense, really. Only serial killers, creeps and people who had the wrong address would knock that late. You could have taken on any of those three regardless - you were a bad-ass after all - but you were also busy. You’d been tirelessly working all day at the office, and the grind didn’t stop just because you’d got home. The stack of paperwork beside your computer felt like it was never ending and you simply didn’t have the time to answer the door. Working as Kingsman was more of a lifestyle than it was a job.

‘Oi!’

You almost jumped out your seat when the banging moved to the window beside your desk. It overlooked your front lawn and the quiet street you lived on - well, as quiet as a street in central London could be. Classic to the city, rain was lashing down on the glass, obscuring your view of whoever your visitor was. 

Right, you could add Eggsy Unwin to the list of people who knocked this late. 

‘What the hell, Eggsy?!’ You sighed, opening the front door. Your colleague quickly rushed from where he was standing by the window, elbowing past you and into the dry warmth of your house. ‘It’s almost midnight-’

‘- I’ve been calling you for hours!’ The agent exclaimed. 

‘I’ve been working all day.’ You replied. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d turned up at your doorstep at a stupid hour. Eggsy was your colleague, but first and foremost, he was your best friend. He had a tendency to drive you up the fucking wall and right back down again, and had done since you were in your school years, but he’d always been a little dependent on you. Whether it had been letting him crash on your sofa when his stepfather became too much, or giving him a lift home from the police station at 2AM after he’d been arrested, you always had his back. He had yours too, but you rarely needed it. Even after becoming a member of the Kingsman and essentially saving the world, you were still the first person he came too. 

After wrapping Eggsy up in a towel and escorting him to the kitchen, you placed a mug of warm tea on the table and sat beside him. Work could wait - for an hour or so at least. Chasing an internationally-reclaimed terrorist certainly took precedence over whatever your friend’s problems were, but if he needed you, he needed you. Bros before hoes might not have been the perfect saying for the situation, but the sentiment was definitely there. 

‘What’s happened now?’ You quirked an eyebrow. ‘I know it ain’t an arrest because you would have called from the station otherwise.’

Eggsy thinned his eyes at you. ‘I haven’t been arrested in two years.’

‘So what was it?’

‘I had a fight with Tilde.’ He admitted. ‘I don’t know what happened, but she’s mad at me.’

‘Were you talking before she got mad?’

‘Yeah.’

You raised your mug in the air. ‘That’s probably it then.’

‘Y/N!’ He swatted your hand away, causing tea to spill out onto the table. 

You sighed. ‘D’you wanna talk about it?’

‘No, I just need a place to crash.’

You stood up, leaning over the table to give his shoulder a squeeze. ‘You know where the spare room is, right?’

‘That’s it?’ He pouted. ‘Tea and a squeeze on the shoulder? My life is falling apart!’

‘Don’t be a drama queen.’ You replied. ‘I have to work - and you should be too. We’re close to getting Calahan.’

Calahan was the codename for the terrorist you’d been tracking - at least his current one. The man had worked under several aliases, jumping from country to country before finally falling under the jurisdiction of the British secret services. The MI5 and Scotland Yard were too well known to work such a sensitive case; the location of their offices were publicly known, making it easier for Calahan to slip in double agents. The civilians, however, had no knowledge on the Kingsmen. A tailor’s shop was a perfectly good front for a place to set up base and track the man down. 

Thanks to your success on your previous missions, Arthur had put you in charge of finding him, with Eggsy assigned as your partner. He was just as good an agent as you, but you had little sympathy for his domestic issues. 

‘I was working on it all day.’ Eggsy held his hands up in surrender. ‘But with all due respect, Percival, I don’t work into the late hours of the night. I know how to switch off.’

‘That’s because you’re a man, Eggsy.’ You reminded him. ‘I am one of three women at Kingsman.’

‘That’s still three more than there used to be.’ 

‘You’ve already pissed off one extremely patient woman tonight.’ You warned him, referring to Tilde. ‘Do you want to go two for two?’

‘No.’ He huffed. ‘Women are just complicated.’

‘Or maybe men are just dumb.’ You smiled sweetly, before brushing a hand through his hair. ‘You should get some rest.’

‘So should you.’

‘I’m fine.’ You shook your head. ‘I’ve got a meeting with Merlin in the morning. We’ll have to leave at eight.’

‘Do I have to go? Merlin hasn’t said anything to me-’

‘- yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I said so.’

He couldn’t argue with that. 

--

The following morning, you were headed for the Kingsman headquarters by 9AM. Having filled Eggsy with some coffee and half a bacon-sandwich, he had cheered up considerably. You did feel for him - he had been right when he said that women were confusing - but your attention was still very much on work. That was the norm, really. You lived and breathed for your job. It wasn’t your whole identity but it was certainly your whole life. You were recruited at eighteen and now, it was all you knew. The other agents were your family. 

‘C’mon, Eggsy!’ You demanded, practically leaping out your car. Your arms were piled high with files, keys dangling from your fingers as you kicked the door to the Mustang shut. It had been a present from Kingsmen for a particularly successful mission. 

‘There’s no rush.’ Eggsy chided from behind you. ‘You should enjoy a little leisurely stroll once in a while. It might do that vein on your forehead some good.’ 

Whilst you were decked out in a blazer and black jeans, Eggsy was in his usual snapback and sports jacket. He trailed beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets as you both slipped inside the shop. It was quiet inside, the only sounds coming from the bell on the door and the sound of your heels on the polished wooden floors. You didn’t just wear them because they made your legs look endless - they doubled up as weapons too. Merlin hadn’t done anything special to them, it was just that anything was a blade if you tried hard enough. Your five inch Christian Louboutins were no different. The fact the bottoms were already red was purely a convenient coincidence. 

‘She still hasn’t called me.’ Eggsy murmured. 

‘I’m sure she will.’ You gave his arm a light squeeze. ‘Tilde loves you, Egghead.’ 

‘Fucking ‘ell.’ He let out a snort. ‘You haven’t called me that in years.’

The two of you made your way down the hall and towards the meeting room. Merlin was already sitting at the table, pens and notepads laid out in front of him. Considering that you’d worked together for years, you hardly knew the man. He was always working, always building new gadgets or arranging missions. Did he ever sleep? You wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out that he’d been a droid this whole time. Someone had mentioned his name being Hamish once, but he didn’t seem like a Hamish. You always pegged him as more of a...Simon. Or a Mark. 

‘You two are late.’ He greeted you. 

‘It’s nine o’clock.’ You shot back, dropping into the seat opposite him. 

‘Early is on time.’ Merlin folded his arms across his chest. ‘On time is late.’

You rolled your eyes at the agent. ‘You know how London traffic can be.’

Choosing to ignore your comment, the Scotsman hit a few buttons on the table in front of him. The whiteboard in front of you jumped to life, lighting up with a picture of New York City - specifically, Midtown. You’d been to the city several times for work, usually to do recon or on protection details for British politicians before diplomatic visits. Outside of that, any missions in North America were outside of the Kingmen’s authority. That was when it fell to the USA’s secret services - a bunch of people you weren’t particularly fond of working with. 

‘Calahan slipped out of the country.’ Merlin stated. ‘He’s been spotted in Manhattan by several of our contacts at the Bureau.’ 

‘What?!’ You guffawed. ‘I thought we had tabs on him. You told me we had tabs on him-’

‘- let me finish, Percival.’ He cut you off. ‘We let him.’

‘You…’ you scoffed in disbelief. ‘You let a known terrorist escape the borders?! You know that I’ve had tabs on him for months! Are you trying to waste my time?’

‘Calm down, agent!’ Merlin repeated, this time in a more firm tone. It was easy to let your temper get the best of you - but at the same time, it was the very thing that had allowed you to force your colleagues into submission. ‘He has more charges on his back in American jurisdiction. We have a better chance of convicting him over there.’

‘You could have told me that before I spent six months tailing him.’ You dropped back in your chair, folding your arms tightly across your chest. 

‘Your mission isn’t over.’ Merlin replied. ‘You know more about Calahan than any men here or across the pond. I want you posted in New York for a few months.’

‘Oh?’ You sat up, interest peaked. 

Working internationally was usually the first step to becoming a senior agent. It was one thing to commandeer the respect of your colleagues but to throw your name into the ring on a global scale? That was how you made it big time - and big time meant big time. Your work would go from being based in London, to taking you all over the world. Kingsman who worked on an international level could be in Moscow one day and Bogota the next. Once they retired, they were legends. It was the kind of success you’d dreamed of your whole life.

And New York was the first stepping stone. 

‘It’s only if you want it, of course.’ Merlin pulled you from your thoughts. ‘The Statesman have agreed to accommodate you, should you choose to accept.’

‘Statesmen?’ You tried to hide the displeasement in your face. ‘Like...the cowboys?’

‘Is there a problem, Percival?’

‘No!’ You quickly replied. ‘It’s just...I worked with one of them once. It wasn’t great.’

‘Here we go.’ Eggsy murmured from beside you. ‘She witnessed Agent Tequila make tea in the microwave.’

‘And I swore never to work with them again.’ You hissed under your breath, fists clenching.

‘I can see how that would be disturbing.’ Merlin agreed. ‘Though I’m not entirely sure it’s enough reason to turn down a potentially career changing mission.’

‘No, you’re right.’ You nodded. ‘But I can bring my own kettle, right?’

--

‘I can’t believe you brought your own fucking kettle.’

‘And I can’t believe that Merlin is making me drag you along-’

‘- it’s only for a week.’ Eggsy held his hands up in defense.

Eggsy, who had momentarily forgotten his relationship woes, had been posted out in the city with you for the first five or six days. Merlin and Arthur had been pretty insistent on him joining you - something about making sure you didn’t blow your lid at a cowboy. It was funny, because you were usually the one babysitting him. That being said, deep down you were glad to have him there with you. It would have made settling in a little easier. 

You were moving faster than him, the sound of your heels clicking on the marble floors of the Statesman headquarters as you floated towards the front desk. The building was right in central Manhattan, bang in the middle of all the beautiful things New York had to offer. Not that you were going to experience many of them - you were here to work, after all. 

‘Percival!’ Agent Tequila was posted by the front desk, a grin spread across his face as your eyes met. ‘And...I know they told me your name, but I’ve forgotten.’

‘He’s Galahad 2.0.’ You stuck your hand out to Tequila, offering him the kettle. ‘This is for you.’

‘A...a kettle?’ The agent gave you an odd look. 

‘If I’m going to be working with you for the next few months, I cannot witness you making tea in a microwave.’ You explained. ‘I may murder you in your sleep otherwise.’

‘Jeez, lady.’ He muttered. He would have argued, but if there was one thing he’d learnt from your last collaboration, it was that nobody entered into a fight with you and won. ‘But it’s okay, you’re not with me this time.’

‘Oh?’ You quirked an eyebrow. Tequila began to make his way to the lift, signalling for you and Eggsy to follow. 

‘No, you’re with Whiskey this time.’ He explained, pressing the button for the top floor. ‘He’s a little more senior than me.’

‘Whiskey and Tequila?’ Eggsy muttered in your ear. ‘What’s their boss called? Pale ale?’

‘Champagne.’ You replied. 

‘Good one.’ He snorted.

‘No, Eggsy.’ You whispered back. ‘He’s actually called Champagne.’

‘Fucking hell.’ 

Yeah, you thought, that kinda sums it up.

The three of you stepped out the lift and onto the top floor. The views from the windows were almost breath-taking; it wasn’t often that you got to see 360 degree views of one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The skyscrapers stretched out further than the eye could see, eventually melting together in the distance where the sky met the land. It was almost breath-taking just to think about - the people, the opportunities, the magic that New York had to offer. London was your home, and you couldn’t even begin to dream of leaving, but your mind did wander off a little. 

‘Whiskey! I got your girl!’ Tequila yelled, pressing a button on an intercom outside one of the offices. He gave Eggsy a quick glance. . ‘And...the other one.’

‘Sweet Jesus, Tequila!’ A strong Southern accent came back. ‘You don’t gotta yell every time you use the fucking thing! I’m gonna be deaf as a goddamn doornail before I’m fifty.’

A moment later, the door to the office opened and Agent Whiskey stepped out. He was about the same height as Tequila, but a little older. He was wearing a cow-boy hat and there was a...was it a swagger? A spring in his step? Either way, the temptation to stick your foot out and stop him in his tracks was overwhelming. 

‘Well hello, pretty lady.’ Whiskey greeted you with a shit-eating grin. ‘I hear that you’re the little birdy who’s gonna give me Calahan?’

‘I prefer Percival.’ You monotonously replied. ‘And if I’m the little birdy that’s gonna give you Calahan, then you must be the yankee who stole him from me.’

‘Girl’s gotta bite.’ He gave your hand a shake. ‘I like that.’

‘This is Galahad.’ You pointed to Eggsy, who was inwardly holding his breath at the whole exchange. He was mentally counting down the minutes before you smacked off Whiskey’s cowboy hat. ‘Let’s see if you can acknowledge his gender three times in one breath-’

‘- okay, that’ll do!’ Your best friend pulled you back, taking Whiskey’s hand in place of yours. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Whiskey.’

‘Please, call me Jack.’ The cowboy replied. 

‘Whiskey. Jack.’ Eggsy murmured under his breath. ‘Oh my days! Imagine if your surname was Daniels.’

After a brief conversation with Jack about his surname - during which you had seen Eggsy Unwin more entertained than ever before - you were taken down the hall to the agent’s office. Meanwhile, Eggsy and Tequila were escorted off to exchange some files that you’d both gathered. 

Whiskey’s office was exactly as you could have predicted; a mixture of dark wood furniture and red tones. The air smelt of his aftershave, with a hint of brandy and earth.

‘Your desk is that one there.’ Whiskey gestured to a slightly smaller set-up in the corner. 

‘I don’t get my own office?’

‘Since we’re gonna be working in close proximity, Champ figured it was best we double up.’ He explained. ‘Saves us doing a whole revolving door movement when we gotta talk to one another.’

‘Makes sense.’ You placed your bag on the desk, admiring the view for a moment. All of your files on Calahan had been uploaded to the Statesmen’s online cloud, whilst your other belongings had been delivered to the apartment you were staying in. ‘Nice view.’

‘It ain’t bad.’ Whiskey nodded. ‘You been to this neck of the woods before?’ 

‘Only when British diplomats need a babysitter.’ You replied.

‘Babysitting?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s what you Kingsmen do? You babysit?’

‘Why d’you think Eggsy is here?’ You shot back. ‘To babysit me.’

‘Now why would a well-mannered redcoat such as yourself need a babysitter?’ He could barely hide the grin in his voice, leaning back against the window as he peered at you over his glasses.

‘How would I put it in your terms?’ You pondered for a moment, offering Whiskey a sweet smile. ‘Is there a Southern term for I eat cowboys alive?’ 

He gulped. ‘I...I don’t think we got one for that yet.’ 

You nodded, turning your attention back to staring at the view in front of you. ‘You should come up with one. It might be useful.’