#there ya go i did it
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SWTOR OC catalog 🧀🧀
yea ok I don't have energy for fancy formatting but have some rambling descriptions (I guess it's fine tho bc if I gave introductions in real life it would not be any more coherant (more often than not I go to introduce someone and turns out I had their name wrong for WEEKS) )
but yes here are all my SWTOR OCs
Ga’eon Kachymov AKA Glen Iruusi AKA Lord Srije Narakati AKA TBD (Yes I like coming up with names why do you ask)
tagged oc: worst sith ever (+ anxiety)
Male Mirialan Sith Warrior. Complete cinnamon roll and worst possible person to be a Sith (affectionate). Baras took advantage of his inclination to trust (AKA gullibility) and messed him up big time. Anxiety and Imposter Syndrome made worse by the constant threat of death. But he’s got Vette and the Force and his love for plants, so it'll probably be okay?
Hopefully going to end up married to Jaesa Willsaam (but in my head she’s a totally different person) with two+ Mandalorian kids but either of them could definitely mess that up between here and the end of the class story.
Currently playing through Corellia (home stretch let's goooo)
A’la’zena AKA Cipher Nine
tagged oc: a'la'zena
Female Twi’lek Agent. My best attempt at Chaotic Good. Arrogant, contrary and despises feeling controlled more than anything else (Act II was nearly enough to turn her genocidal and it probably would have succeeded if not for bugboi). Always does the right thing but by her standards, not anyone else’s. Enjoys luxury and partying with her BFF Kaliyo. After Act III, took the Black Codex and disappeared. Now she runs a grassroots Space Illuminati 2.0: Chaotic Good version. Yes, it’s probably going to fail spectacularly. Yes, she’s pink. Don’t tell her.
Happily married to her emotional support bug with one adopted kid who will have no hope of a normal childhood. Shae’zena’s sister.
Currently done with the class story, with no intention of doing the expansions and plans to do a second playthrough.
Master Periflynn AKA the Bar’san’thor AKA area man officially so done with this
tagged oc: periflynn (tired)
Male human Consular (HC him as near human species that lives far longer). Practical above all else and duty bound to the Jedi. The only sane person in the entire Republic and very tired of dealing with everyone else’s messes. There to get things done and has no patience for pointless rhetoric or stupid people. Please stop putting him in management.
Proficient deadpan snarker, slicer, mechanic, and swoop bike pilot. Geeks out about software with Theran Cedrex. Nadia drags him to all the important ceremonies he’s supposed to appear at. Despises impractical ceremonial robes more than anything.
Diligently following the Jedi “no romantic attachments” policy and completely fine with that.
Currently done with the class story, with plans to play through the expansions at some point.
Captain Shae’zena
tagged oc: chaotic woke ✌️☮️🌼
Female Twi’lek Smuggler. Biggest ray of sunshine ever who also kicks butt. Flower child california hippie vibes. Takes nothing seriously except when innocent people are getting hurt, and then she's deadly serious. Founder of the Feminism Brigade; supports #killiklivesmatter
Largely exists because all my other OCs are very polite and serious, and I wanted at least one chill snarker who can say all the things that the others would think but not say.
Corso Riggs and *sigh* Doc currently under consideration for the position of bf. Depends on whether he (either of them) learns to respect her or not. Theron is also a definite possibility :D
Currently on Alderaan, with plans to play through at least KOTET.
Other, less developed OCs/OCs I may or may not actually play
Ffeud - Male Chiss Agent. Manipulative bastard who also somehow exudes the overwhelming impression that he is a trustworthy friend who would never lie to you and never did anything wrong. Unclear how he does it, because every aspect of that impression is completely wrong. Potentially force sensitive? A’la’zena immediately hates his guts.
Valkerie Beausoleil - Female Human Inquisitor. Literally and figuratively the black sheep of the Beausoleil family due to her ✨raven black hair✨ and strong force sensitivity. Disowned by her family, she becomes Sith anyway, determined to free the Empire from the rule of old complacent traditionalists set in their ways.
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The gang all together 👍
Sketch v final + refs below!
First pic was reffed from My Own Private Idaho, which ended up being a really bad idea because this focal length was ridiculous to try and flatten out and match with the others lol
Second pic was obvi The Pieta by Michelangelo, but shoutout to my partner for suggesting the role reversal cause I was initially gonna draw Viktor in Jayce's arms again, but having it the other way around gave me the idea for the last piece where they're mutually in each other's arms and on equal ground in the composition
Third pic was reffed from The Blossoming Of Love by Miquel Blay! Had to move Jayce's hand to Viktor's shoulder because he was too yolked for his arm to fit between them lmao
#GOD i don't like looking at the first one loooool. did not know what i was trying to do yet#en ee way. i like seeing other artists post sketch v finals so here ya go. but again ignore that first one <3#arcane#jayvik#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#viktor#fanart#ill be normal now i hopefully have freed my brain from this chokehold now that ive finished these
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc the nepotism might work and id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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uhhhhhmmmmm hi hehe
#aofi art#omg its the return of the#:3#tag wowwwww lets go#do i even want to main tag wth#parkciv#who did this to him idk either tbh it could be either ship#seavbo#mavbo#ya#IM TRUSTING THEY DONT HAVE TUMBLR LMAO????? girl help#suggestive#cw suggestive#i guess
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“i must have been real sweet on you,” eddie murmurs as he runs his fingers over his husband’s cheek, sleepy and sated, warm in their bed.
steve chuckles, twisting his head to catch the tips of eddie’s fingers with a kiss. “why are you talking past tense? you’re not sweet on me now?”
the room is peacefully still. years of baby monitors are long gone only to inevitably give way to their daughter’s teenage years of slamming doors and too loud stereo speakers. but in this moment, with the pale moonlight streaming in through the windows and crickets chirping in the distance, the room is peaceful, thick with love.
“quit your pouting, ‘course i’m sweet on you now.” eddie wipes away steve’s fake frown with a kiss, turning it into a sticky sweet grin. “it’s just something my mom used to tell me. that freckles are all the places your soulmate in a past life kissed you.”
eddie pushes steve back so he’s laying flat on the mattress and dips his head to press featherlight kisses on the side of his neck. across his shoulders. over his cheeks. his fingertips flutter over the spots afterwards, leaving goosebumps in their wake despite the heat radiating between them.
“must have loved you a whole lot in our last lives to leave so many on you now,” eddie whispers, pulling back to stroke the back of his hand over steve’s face once more, letting his lips curl up in a dopey half smile that only steve ever gets to see.
it doesn’t take long for steve to tilt his head up and press kisses of his own where he can; under eddie’s eye, the bottom of his chin, right over his heart. it doesn’t take long for eddie to giggle as his sensitive spots are found and attacked with ticklish kisses and fluttering eyelashes. it doesn’t take long for their legs to tangle together underneath the sheets and their breaths to get caught in their chests and their hearts to start beating a beautiful melody of their own making.
steve lays a firm kiss to the side of eddie’s chest, over jagged white scarring and half bitten away tattoos. over memories that somehow don’t haunt them as much anymore.
“what was that one for?” eddie asks, eyes half lidded, the adoration in his voice loud across the quiet room.
another kiss on another scar. “wanna give you some freckles. for your next life and for this one, too. so you know just how sweet on you I am-” kiss, “ -and was-” kiss, “- and forever will be.”
they won’t know for however many more years if it worked or not. but here in this lifetime, they have all the time in the world to try their damndest to make sure it does. in this lifetime, they don’t have to worry, because they know they’ll find each other in the next one.
#i was cleaning up my google docs and found this fully written piece that i never did anything with so#here ya go i suppose#this was not really read over a bunch so sorry for any typos#my writing#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fluff#steddie drabble#steddie fic#future happily married steddie with a daughter my most beloved#crossposted on twt! find me there @starry_stevie
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6. I'm The Collector
First | Previous | Next
#yes I did in fact die on this#the colouring what i do realise is quite basic took 3x longer than everything else here..#the next one will be in greyscale with prob only important colours and illustations being coloured#I really wanna go to the more dramatic scenes finally and I cant if the colouring takes 2 weeks!#It kills me how the artstyle shifts with every page but hopefully that will prevernt it#and hey the classes start in two weeks its gonna be fun all over again#so ya! I hope y'all like the chapter and thanks for reading the rambling#Collection Incomplete au#the owl house#owl house#the owl house comic#toh fanart#owlhouse fanart#the collector#toh collector#papa titan#titan trappers#titans toh#toh archivists#the archivists#toh collectors#toh the archivists#c:i Fovea#c:i Maxilla#c:i Major#regulart
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At this point Barney Calhoun is a W.D Gaster type of character to me. The guy was a noticeable part of the narrative and then POOF, was just written out of existence. No screen presence, no off-hand mentions, not even a bit of concept art of him for the last 18 years of the franchise. It's like he never even was there in the first place. Maybe I've missed something in all the leaked versions of hl3 script, but from what I've seen we wouldn't have seen him even if ep3 wasn't cancelled either. I guess it's a fun parallel to Gordon disappearing for 20 years between hl1 and hl2 BUT IM NOT LAUGHING. Im genuinely this close to just imagining Barney having adventures as a character that fell out of the narrative. I swear if we ever see him again its going to be in a secret room where he disappears with a surprised face and mystery sound sfx once you approach him. I hope he is having fun in the void with Adrian Shephard
#half life#im sorry im slowly going insane over here#where the hell did that train took him#I see ya when I see ya my ass#barney calhoun
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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Doodles :D
#the apothecary diaries#maomao#jinshi#kusuriya no hitorigoto#jinshi x maomao#jinshi and maomao#maomao fanart#yeye#jinshi fanart#hehehe#doodles#realised i hadn't done anything from this fandom#for a while#ya know?#which i wanted to fix#so i did#:D#i kind of have a rotation thing going#about which fandoms i do fanart for#in what order#yknow?#like#i like a lot of different things#so i do a little bit of everything#but mostly from aoab and bsd honestly#with the occasional apothecary diaries and other stuff#i like jinshi and maomaos dynamic a lot#:)
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older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
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originally a style study, did not stay that way.
Close-ups under the cut
#homestuck#dirk strider#ok tw's here we go#tw self harm#tw blood#tw gore#tw drugs#tw eyestrain#lemme know if i missed anything#tw dirk strider#one more for luck#can you spot all the song references?#ya I did the prescription bottle while the canvas was flipped how could you tell
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who did this to you. part 3
🤍🌷 read part 1 here | read part 2 here pre-s4, steve whump, protective (but scared) eddie. now with robin!
The number rings in his head, echoing off the inside of his skull and sinking lower and lower until his heart strings join the symphony that leaves him shaking as the memory of Harrington’s slurred voice is drowned out by the dial tone that feels harrowingly like a flatline right now.
Said I’ll go blind. Or deaf. Or just… die.
Eddie doesn’t really feel like his body belongs to him anymore, or like there’s anything left inside him other than panic and fear and that stupid, stupid shaking that he can’t suppress even as he bites his knuckles. Hard.
The pain helps a little not to startle too much when the dial tone stops and a female voice begins speaking to him. Still he almost drops the phone, cursing under his breath as he pulls his hair to collect himself and get his voice to work.
“H— Hi, hello, Mrs Buckley? This is, uh. I. I’m. A friend of Robin’s, could you, uh—“
“Oh, of course, dear,” the woman says, and Eddie feels his eyes beginning to prick with how nice she sounds even through the phone.
Does she know Steve, too? Would she worry if she knew? Would she curse Eddie for not taking him to the hospital right away? Would she blame him if anything happened?
“I’m sorry? What did you say your name was?” she asks, repeating herself by the sound of it.
He blanks, for a whole five seconds, before he spots a note stuck to the fridge saying Don’t forget to eat, Eddie :-)
“Eddie,” he croaks. “Uh, Eddie Munson.”
“Alright, Eddie Munson, I’ll see if I can grab Robin for you. You have a good day, dear, yes?”
No. “Thanks.”
The hand clenched in his hair pulls tighter and tighter until the tears fall and he can pretend it’s from pain and not from— whatever the fuck is happening.
He waits, phone pressed to his ear with a kind of desperation he’s never really felt, and never wants to feel again. He doesn’t even know what to tell Robin; what to say. It’s not like they ever hang out or have anything to say to each other, so why would she—
“Munson?” Robin’s voice appears on the other end, a little too loud for Eddie’s certain state, and he does drop the phone this time, scrambling to catch it and only making the situation worse as it dangles by his knees.
He drops to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and reaching for the phone again.
“Hi.”
“What do you want? How’d you even get this number? I swear, if you—“
“It’s Blue. I mean, Steve. Harrington.”
That shuts her right up, and Eddie clenches his eyes shut for a moment, hoping to keep the tremor out of his voice if only he takes a moment to breathe.
The moment stretches. And Robin’s voice is wary and quiet when she speaks again.
“What about Steve.”
Eddie rubs his face, leaving more dirt and grime to fill the tear tracks, and clenches his fist before his mouth.
“Eddie,” Robin demands, dangerous now. Nothing left of the rambling, bubbling mess he knows her to be on the school hallways. “What. About. Steve.”
“He… He’s hurt.”
There’s a bit of a commotion on the other end, before Robin declares, “I’m coming over. You tell me everything.”
“You— I mean, he’s in the hospital with my uncle, so—“
“I am. Coming. Over,” she says, enunciating every word as though she were making a threat. Maybe she is. But the certainty in her voice helps a little, anchors him the same way that Wayne’s calmness did. “And you tell me everything.”
Eddie finds himself nodding along, knowing intuitively that there is nothing that could stop her now. Knowing that he doesn’t want to stop her.
“‘Kay.” It’s a pathetic little sound, all choked up and tiny. She doesn’t comment on it.
One second he hears her determined exhale, the next she’s hung up on him and Eddie is greeted by the flatline again. He lets out a shuddering breath and leans his head back against the wall.
Breathing is hard again, but it’s all he has to do now, all that’s left to do, so he focuses. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold. His lungs are burning and there’s something wrong about the way he pulls in air and keeps it there, desperately latching onto it until the very last second, his exhales more of a gasping cough than calm and controlled.
It takes a while. Longer than it should. But with Harrington’s blood still on his hands, with his heartbeat in his ears so loud he can’t even hear the words Wayne used to say about breathing in through the mouth or the nose or… or something, he—
He’s fine. He’s home. Wayne’s got Blue, and Buckley is on her way, and… He’s fine.
People don’t just die.
They don’t.
He’s fine.
Eventually, Eddie manages to breathe steadily, the air no longer shuddering and his hands no longer shaking. It’s stupid, really, being so worked up over someone he doesn’t even really know. Sure, everyone knows Steve fucking Harrington, and everyone sees Steve fucking Harrington — whether they want it or not. He has a way of drawing eyes toward him even if all he does is walk the halls with his dorky smile and that stupidly charming swagger he’s got going on. Always matching his shoes to his outfit.
Eddie can relate.
Always reaching out to touch the person he’s talking to; clapping their back or shoulder, lightly shoving them in jest, ruffling their hair or chasing them through the halls, moving and holding himself like teenage angst can’t reach him. Like he belongs wherever he goes. Like he’s so, so comfortable in his own skin. Like the clothes he wears aren’t armour but just a part of him; a means of self-expression.
Again, Eddie can relate. He can relate to all of this.
It’s almost like the two of them aren’t so different after all. Just going about it differently.
And now he’s… Bleeding. Slurring his speech. Wheezing his breath. And Eddie feels protective. Eddie feels responsible. Like he should be there, like he should get to know more about him. About Steve. About Blue.
But he can’t. And he won’t. So he gets up with a groan that expresses his frustration and the need to make a sound, to fight the oppressive silence that only encourages his thoughts to run in obsessive little circles, and he hangs up the phone that’s been dangling beside him all this time.
He needs a smoke.
He needs a smoke and a blunt and a drink and for this day to be over and for time to revert and to leave him out of whatever business he stumbled into by opening the door to the boathouse and, apparently, Steve Harrington’s life.
But unfortunately, the universe doesn’t seem to care about what he needs, because just as he steps outside and goes to light his cig, he catches sight of a harried looking Robin Buckley, standing on the pedals of her bike as she kicks them, her hair blowing in the wind to reveal a frown between her brows. A wave of unease overcomes Eddie, an unease he can’t really place. Maybe it’s the set of her jaw, or the tension in her shoulders, or maybe it’s the worry and anger she exudes.
It never occurred to him before that Robin Buckley might not be a person you’d want to set off. And not because of her uncontrollable rambles.
“Munson!” she calls over, carelessly dropping her bike in the driveway and stalking toward him.
Almost as if summoning a shield, Eddie does light the cigarette. Pretends like the smoke can protect him.
She doesn’t stop at the foot of the steps, though, climbs them in two leaps and gets all up in his space with that unwavering look of determination — so unwavering, in fact, that it almost looks like wrath. Cold. Eddie wants to shrink away from it, not at all daring to wonder what could make her look like that upon hearing that Steve’s hurt.
I don’t wanna die, Munson. I never… I didn’t. With the monsters or the torture.
But those are the words of a semi-conscious teenage boy beat to a pulp, they can’t— There’s no way. Eddie misheard him, or Steve was talking about some kind of inside joke, using the wrong terminology with the wrong guy. It happens. It happens when you’re out of it, really! The shit he’s said when he was shot up, canned up, all strung out and high as a kite… He’d be talking of monsters, too, and mean some benign shit.
But the way Harrington looked, none of that was benign. The bruising all over his face, the blood still dripping from the wound by his temple or his nose, the way he held himself, breath rattling in his lungs, or—
“Hey!” Buckley demands his attention, giving him a light shove; just enough to catch his attention, really, and just what he needed to snap out of it. Still the smoke hits his lungs wrong and he coughs up a lung, further cementing his role of the pathetic little guy today.
“Hey,” he says lamely, his voice still croaking as he crushes the half-smoked cigarette under his boot. “Sorry.” He doesn’t know for what. But it feels appropriate.
She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at him as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.
“Tell me,” she says at last, and even though there is a tremor in her voice, she sounds nothing short of demanding. “I want the whole story, and I want it now.”
And so he does. He tells her everything, bidding her inside because he needs the relative safety of the trailer even though the air in here is stuffy and still faintly smells blue. He pours them both some coffee and some tea, because asking what she wants doesn’t feel right in the middle of telling her how he found her supposed best friend beat to shit in the boathouse he went to to forget about the world for a while.
She stills as she listens to him, staring ahead into the middle distance somewhere beneath the floor and the walls, her hands wrapped around the steaming mug of coffee. Eddie stumbles over his words a lot, unsettled by her stillness, her lack of reaction. She doesn’t even react to his fuck-ups. People usually do.
He wants to ask. Where are you right now? What have you seen? What’s on your mind? What the fuck is happening?
But he doesn’t ask, instead he tells her more about Steve. About how he seemed to forget where he was. About the pain he was in. About the smiles nonetheless. The way he reassured Eddie.
That one finally gets a choked little huff from her, somewhere between a sob and a laugh.
“Yeah, that sounds like him alright. He’s such a dingus.”
There is so much affection in her voice as she says it that Eddie can’t help but smile into his mug.
“Dingus?” he asks, hoping for some lightness, hoping to keep it.
But the light fades, and her eyes get distant again. Eddie wants to kick himself.
“Just a stupid little nickname. An insult, really.”
“Oh.” He doesn’t know what to do with that. If he should ask more or if he should say that he has a feeling Steve might appreciate stupid little nicknames. Especially if they’re unique. Especially if they’re for him. But what right does he have to say that now? What knowledge does he have about Steve Harrington that Robin doesn’t?
So he bites his tongue and drinks his coffee, cursing the silence that falls over them as Robin mirrors him, albeit slow and stilted, like she doesn’t know what to do either. Or where to put her limbs.
“Wayne’s got him now. I took him here, after the boathouse, because I didn’t know what to do. He said he didn’t want the hospital, said there’s…” He trails off.
Robin looks at him, her eyes wary but alert. “Said there’s what?”
It’s stupid. Don’t say it.
“Eddie?”
With a sigh, he puts his mug on the counter and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “He said there’s monsters. In the hospital, I mean. He said that.”
Instead of scoffing or at least frowning, Robin clenches her jaw and nods imperceptibly, her eyes going distant again. Eddie blinks, the urge to just fucking ask overcoming him again, but with every passing second he realises that he doesn’t actually want to ask. He doesn’t want to know, let alone find out.
He just… He just wants to go to bed. Forget any of this ever happened. But he can’t do that, so he continues.
“Brought him here and Wayne took one look at him and convinced him he needed a doctor. And, Jesus H Christ, he was right. I’ve never… I mean, those things don’t happen,” he urges, balling his hands into fists even in the confined space of his pockets. “Right? I mean… Shit, man.” He bumps his shoe into the kitchen counter; gently, so as not to startle Buckley out of her fugue like state.
“You’d be surprised,” she rasps, staring into the middle distance again and slowly sinking to the floor. There is a tremor in her shoulders now, barely noticeable, but Eddie knows where to look. Without really thinking about it, he grabs two of his hoodies he’d haphazardly thrown over the kitchen chairs this morning while deciding on his outfit and realising that it was altogether too warm for long sleeves today. But now, right here in this kitchen, the air tinged with blue, they’re both freezing.
Because fear and worry will take all the warmth right from inside of you and leave you freezing even on the hottest day of the year.
She barely looks at him when he holds out his all-black Iron Maiden hoodie to her, freshly washed and all that, but she takes it nonetheless, immediately pulling it on. It’s way too large on her, her hands not showing through the sleeves, her balled fists safe and warm inside the fabric. It would make him smile if only it didn’t highlight her stillness, her faraway stare, and the years he has on her. She’s, what, two years younger than him? Three?
It seems surreal. Everything, everything does.
Robin Buckley in his home, sitting on his kitchen floor, swallowed by a hoodie that is a size too large even for him, but it was the last one they had in the store and he doesn’t mind oversized clothes, can just cut them shorter when the need arises or layer them or declare them comfort sweaters for when he wants to just have his hands not slip through the sleeves on some days. And now Robin is wearing his comfort hoodie because her best friend was bleeding in his car earlier and then on his couch and now in his uncle’s car, and they never even talk, but he knows that Robin’s favourite colour is blue, but not morning hour blue because that makes her sad; only deep, dark blues.
Her favourite colour. Her favourite person.
It’s so fucking surreal.
He drops down beside her, leaving enough space between them so neither of them feels caged, and mirrors her position: knees to his chest, chin on his forearms. Staring ahead.
And silence reigns.
“Your uncle,” she says at last, finally breaking the silence that’s been grating on Eddie’s nerves and looking at him, really looking as she rests her cheek on her forearms crossed over her knees. “Tell me about him.”
There is a gentleness to her voice now despite how hoarse it is. Maybe she’s just tired, too. And scared. At least the shivering has stopped.
Still Eddie frowns, confused as to why she should be breaking the silence to ask about Wayne when everything today has been about Harrington. About Steve. About deep and dark blues.
“Uncle Wayne?” he asks. “Why?”
“Because,” she begins, and sighs deeply, works to get the air back in her lungs. Eddie wants to reach out, but instead he just clenches his fingers a little deeper into the fabric of his hoodie. “My best friend is hurt very badly and the only person with him is your uncle, and I need to know that he’s in good hands. Or I swear to whatever god you may or may not believe in, and granted, it’s probably the latter, but still I swear I’ll give into my arsonist tendencies and burn down this city, starting with your trailer if you don’t tell me that your uncle is a good man who will do anything in his power to make sure that boy gets the help and care he needs. And deserves.”
Her jaw is set and her bottom lip trembles, but it doesn’t take away from the absolute sincerity in her threat.
“So, please,” she continues, her voice breaking just a little bit. “Tell me. Tell me about your uncle.”
Tell me about your favourite person.
Eddie swallows, and mirrors her position once more, so she can see his eyes and know he’s sincere. Because he’s learned something about eyes today, about how much in the world can change if only you have a pair of eyes to look into.
And he nods, looking for somewhere to start. “He’s the best man I know. He’s the best man you’ll ever meet.”
She clings to his eyes. Searches them for the truth, beseeching them not to lie. He lets her.
“Took me in when I was ten, because my dad’s a fuck-up and my mom’s a goner. Took me in again when I was twelve after I ran away. Makes me breakfast and I pretends the dinner I make him is more than edible.” He smiles a little, because how could he not? “He’s my uncle, but still he’s the best parent anyone could wish for. Writes those little notes that he sticks to the fridge, y’know, the one with the smiley face? Tells me to eat, because I forget sometimes. I tell him to drink water, because he forgets. First few years, he’d read to me. And the man’s a shit reader, has some kind of disability I think, and at some point I learned that he wasn’t reading at all. He was telling me stories all the time, conning me into thinking that the books were magic, and that every time I’d try to read the book for myself, the story would change.”
There’s a lump in his throat now, and his eyes sting again. But Robin doesn’t seem to fare any better than him if her wavering smile is any indication.
“There’s no one,” Eddie continues, “who will make you believe in magic quite like uncle Wayne. Or in good things. And d’you wanna know what he told Blue when he said he was scared of going to the hospital?”
Sniffling, Robin shakes her head.
“He said, Okay. Then we do it scared. And all of that after he just… with that patience he has, told him everything that was gonna happen. And that he’d be there with him through it all. That he knew the doc and wouldn’t let anyone else near him, and that there’s no need to be scared at all.”
He sighs, breathes, stills. Swallows, before looking back at Robin.
“So, if there’s one person who’ll make sure that boy gets the help and care he needs and deserves…”
“It’s uncle Wayne,” Robin finishes his sentence, her voice still hoarse, but Eddie likes to think it’s for a different reason now.
“It’s uncle Wayne,” Eddie says, nodding along as he does.
There is something like understanding in Robin’s eyes now, and Eddie hopes it’s enough. Enough to calm the spiking of her nerves, enough to settle the coil of freezing nausea that must reside in the pit of her stomach, enough to let the next breath she takes feel a little more like it’s supposed to be there.
He wants to say something more, wants to reach out and reassure her that everything will be okay, but he can’t know that. He doesn’t feel like it’s entirely true, let alone appropriate right now.
There’s something in Robin’s eyes, in the way she holds herself, like she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like she accepts his words at face value but doesn’t really believe them. Like she’ll only rest when she’s got her best friend back in her arms and hears the story — the whole story — from him.
And Eddie doesn’t fault her, because the thing is, he doesn’t know what happened. Steve said that Hagan came at him, but that’s really all he got out of him before he started talking about death and shit, and Eddie really didn’t want to ask any more questions then.
So they sit there for a while, the silence oppressive and unwelcome, clumsy and awkward; Robin’s mouth opening and closing a lot, like she wants to ask questions but doesn’t dare to ask them — and Eddie doesn’t know if he’s glad about it or not. Doesn’t know if he wants to hear the kind of questions asked with that kind of stare.
It is only after a long while, when Robin’s shoulders start shaking again and she buries deeper into the hoodie and her own spiralling thoughts, that Eddie breaks the silence again, replaying in his head the last moment between him and Steve.
“He’s not gonna break,” he tells her, aiming for gentle and reassuring.
What he doesn’t expect is the minute flinch, the jolt shooting through her body and the pained expression it leaves her with. What he doesn’t expect is what she says next.
“You know,” she begins, her voice as far away as her eyes, and it’s like she doesn’t even know she’s speaking. “Sometimes I wish he would.”
What?
Eddie blinks, swallowing hard.
“Just for, just for a break. Just so he can rest. Let the rest take over for a while.”
That… He doesn’t— What the hell does that even mean?
“Like maybe then the world would… snap back.” She snaps her fingers, just once. This time it’s Eddie who flinches. “And everything bad would disappear. But it won’t. And he won’t.” She swallows. Then quietly, almost inaudible, “He won’t break.”
And the way she says it… It was reassuring before. And now it feels like a burden. A curse.
Who the fuck are you, Steve Harrington? And you, Robin Buckley.
Eddie shudders, knowing he doesn’t want the answer to that anymore. He doesn’t want the questions either. So he buries his face in his hands, closes his eyes, and breathes. The adrenaline has worn off by now, the repeated panicking that added fuse to the fire has ceased now, leaving him worn out and strung out, tired and exhausted. He pulls up the hood, burrowing into the warmth.
And then he stills. His usually twitching, fumbling, fiddling body falling entirely still beside Buckley.
It’s like time stops for a while there, even though Eddie knows that it’s dragging ever on and on. He’s inclined to let it, though. He’s too tired, too exhausted to really care about what time may or may not be doing.
“Why’d you call me?”
It takes a while for Eddie to realise that Robin’s spoken again, asked him a question out loud, the cadence of it different to the endless circles of questions Eddie’s got stuck in his head since the early afternoon tinged in blue against crimson.
He lifts his head, tucking his hands underneath his chin, and looks over at Buckley. Her hair is dishevelled now, her mascara smudged and crusty. Her lipstick is almost all gone, with the way he sees her biting and chewing on her lips.
“I… It seemed like the right thing to do, y’know? He kept repeating your number. In the car, it was like… Sounds dramatic, but it was like his lifeline, almost. Repeated it so often it kinda got stuck.” He shrugs. “Seemed important, too.”
Robin frowns; a careful little thing. “How’d you know it was me?”
“Well, he just talked about you. Y’know. Tell me about your favourite person, I told him, because that’s the thing you gotta do to keep people, like, talking to you. Not shit about what day it is, or what. Just, y’know. Let them talk about things they like. Things they’ll wanna tell you about. ’N’ he talked about you.”
She’s quiet for a while, letting his words sink in. And Eddie wonders if she knew. That she’s his favourite person. If he ever told her. If maybe he took that from him now. It’s a stupid thing to worry about, really; the boy was bloodied and bruised on his couch just an hour ago, there are worse things at hand for Eddie to worry about. But now he wonders if he just spilled some sort of secret. Some sort of love confession.
“Did you, I mean… Are you guys, like, dating? Did I just steal his moment?”
Robin huffs, but it’s more like a smile that needs a little more space in the room, a little more air to really bloom. It’s fond. She shakes her head, her eyes far away again, but closer somehow.
“Nah,” she says, and the smile is in her voice, too. Eddie kind of likes her voice like that. “We’re platonic. Which is something I’d never thought I’d say. Not about Steve Harrington, y’know?”
And the way she drags out his name… Eddie can relate. Like it means something, but like what it means is nowhere close to reality. Nowhere close to what it really means. Nowhere close to Blue.
Robin sighs, the sound more gentle than it should be, and leans her head against the cabinet behind her. “We worked together over summer break. Scoops Ahoy.” Her voice does a funny thing, and her eyes glaze over as she pauses. Eddie waits, his lips tipped up into a little smile, too; to match hers.
“What, the ice cream parlour?”
Robin hums, her smile widening at what Eddie guesses must be memories of chaos and ridiculousness. “I wanted to hate him,” she continues. “But try as I might, he wouldn’t let me. Or, he did. He did let me. Just, it turns out, there’s no use hating Steve Harrington, not when he’s so… So endlessly genuine. There’s nothing to hate, y’know? And then he…”
She stops, her mouth clicking shut as her eyes tear up a little. The Starcourt fire. Eddie remembers the news, remembers the self-satisfied smirk when he’d heard about it, remembers sticking it to the Man and to capitalism and to the idea of malls over supporting your friendly neighbourhood businesses.
Guilt and shame overcome him as he realises that they must have been in there when it happened.
“He saved your life?”
Robin’s eyes snap toward him, wide and caught, and Eddie raises his hands in placation.
“In the fire? Were you there?”
“Y—yeah.” She swallows hard, avoiding his eyes. “The fire. He saved me. Yeah.”
Eddie nods, deciding to drop that topic right there; to lay it on the ground as gently as he can and cover it with bright red colours so he never steps on it ever again.
“He must be your favourite person, too, then, hm?” he steers the conversation back away into safer waters.
“He is,” she says, sure and genuine and true. “It’s just. I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s favourite. He has a lot of people who care about him, you know? A lot of people he cares about. Even more numbers memorised in that stupidly smart head of his.” She huffs again, burrowing deeper into Eddie’s hoodie, pulling the sleeves over her hands some more. “It’s stupid, to be so hung up on this. Is it stupid?”
“I don’t think it is,” Eddie says, scooting a little closer to Robin. “Like, I don’t even know that boy, right? But even I know that he’s got some ways to shift your focus or something. Give you a silver lining, or something to take the pain away even when he’s the one who… I don’t know, that’s probably stupid, too.”
“Nah,” Robin says, scooting closer to him, too, until their sides are pressed together and she can lay her head on his shoulder. “It’s not stupid. You’re right; that’s Steve for you. ’S just who he is.”
It is, isn’t it?
You’re so blue, Stevie.
She’ll say something corny when, when you ask her, jus’ to fuck with you. Sunset gold or rose, jus’ to mess with… But is blue.
Blue. ‘S nice.
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
Eddie lets his thoughts roam the endless possibilities and realities that is Steve Harrington, the depths he hides — or won’t hide, maybe, if you know how to ask. Where to look.
Maybe he’ll find out, one of these days. Not about the terrible things that leave him scared of the hospital, not about the horrible things that have him speaking of death and dying like he’s accepted them as a possibility a long time ago.
He swallows hard and shakes off these thoughts, because things like that just. They don’t happen. They don’t happen to blue-smiled boys who trust you to be kind even when they’re beaten straight to hell. And they sure as hell don’t happen when uncle Wayne’s around.
Nothing bad has ever happened when uncle Wayne was around.
And he wants to tell Robin, wants to make that promise. But part of him can’t bear the thought of being wrong. So he keeps his mouth shut and just sits with her, their heads as heavy as their hearts as they wait.
The sun is long gone when the phone above him rings again, spooking and startling them out of their timeless existence.
“Yeah?” he answers, his heart hammering in his chest. “Wayne?”
“Hey, Ed,” Wayne’s voice comes through the phone like a melody. Calm and steady. Robin is scooting closer, and Eddie shifts the phone to accommodate her so they can both listen. Somehow, they ended up holding hands — and holding on hard. “We’re coming home now.”
🤍🌷 tagging:
@theshippirate22 @mentallyundone @ledleaf @imfinereallyy @itsall-taken @simply-shin @romanticdestruction @temptingfatetakingnames @stevesbipanic @steddie-island @estrellami-1 @jackiemonroe5512 @emofratboy @writing-kiki @steviesummer @devondespresso @swimmingbirdrunningrock @dodger-chan @tellatoast @inkjette @weirdandabsurd42 @annabanannabeth @deany-baby @mc-i-r @mugloversonly @viridianphtalo @nightmareglitter @jamieweasley13 @copingmechanizm @marklee-blackmore @sirsnacksalot @justrandomfandomstm @hairdryerducks @silenzioperso @newtstabber @fantrash @zaddipax @cometsandstardust @rowanshadow26 @limpingpenguin @finntheehumaneater @extra-transitional (sorry if i missed anyone! lmk if you don't wanna be tagged for part 4 🫶)
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#who did this to you#something has Shifted in this part and i wanna do a literary/meta analysis of it but i dont wanna ruin the fun or be annoying but hhh#also sorry if you don't like this bc it's so different from the other two but the sudden adrenaline crash will do that to ya#we'll get Blue back soon don't you worry 🤍#also eddie's mind is running in circles and he doesn't have wayne to stop him this time sooo if this feels repetitive and redundant???#then let's pretend it should read that way actually (and also eddie is an obsessive little guy he'll ruminate forever if he doesn't have#an outlet sooo)#also rambling fumbly robin going deadly still over an injured steve is the hill i will die on actually like that just makes me feral#dio words
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Gilf on gilf psychological warfare
#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time#simon petrikov#the winter king#my art#fanart#this episode was soooooooo fun#id render this more but i dont wanna mess it up cause i like the rhythm of the sketch#so here ya go lol#idk how to draw simon in my usual style yet#i DID look at pics of j*hn l*nnon for this tho#also perspective is a lil sillay cause my refs did not have the same perspective#but theyre both sillay guys so i think its in character actually and im soooo smart for it#^joking#thats the remote simon is holding btw i was just too lazy to clean up his hands lmao
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waiting out the rain
#did somebody order some sopping wet miserable men? well here ya go!#it's good for them i think. like watering a plant.#you gotta just sit and look at rain sometimes. heals the soul yknow#my art <3#zack fair#cloud strife#zakkura#ffvii#final fantasy vii
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DO YA THINGKU
for a twitter trend of redrawing miku as album covers!! i wanted to do one of my favorite single from gorillaz. Cover-accurate ver + closeups:
this was definitely the biggest thing ive drawn this year!! and a good chunk of it on stream. thank you everyone who tuned in!! it was loads more fun to make in company :]
#gorillaz#vocaloid#hatsune miku#doyathing#do ya thing#andre3000#andre3k#album miku#miku albums#jamie hewlett#admin draws#fanart#phew alright finally#i finished this late yesterday#it ended up kind of being a style study! i did heavily reference the body lineart for this bc it was gonna take long enough#without reinventing the wheel. but i did colors from scratch#im a very impatient person artwise but this was very satisfying to do and finally finish#i would say my reason for this was that i saw several demon dayz mikus since this trend started#but gorillaz has so much cool art! album and otherwise. so i COULD say that this was made with that in mind#but no. that only came later fkdgslgh. my initial idea came from overlistening to the 13min version#and really wanting to draw miku in a fake muscle shirt. and then it got out of control#hope you enjoy. and maybe not compare the texutures too closely i really had to frankenstein some shit here#phase 3 to 4 is when hewlett really starts going hard on the soft airbrushing in favor of cel and thats a MAJOR weak area of mine#so this was definitely a learning experience
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