#there were so many instances where it was hard to chose what to pick

[p-artsypants]

Flight of the Valkyrie (6) Something Something All Dressed in White

As usual with my wedding chapters, this is not historically accurate. Vikings have a LOT of wedding traditions, and I decided to pick and choose the ones that I liked for the story. 

Ao3

—

Now Hiccup’s sleep schedule was all sorts of messed up. When he woke up, it was dark out and the village was quiet. 

That was perfect, because he needed to make sure Toothless was well cared for and would survive just fine while he was busy getting married. 

Ideally, he’d be able to slip away again in the coming days, but he just didn’t know. 

In the cover of darkness, Hiccup snuck down to the docks to see if there were any hauls that were not only fresh, but still alive. He caught a break as he spied a basket roped to the docks in the shallows. A heavy burden, but worth it for Toothless! 

He managed to put the basket into a cart and then very carefully and quietly wheeled it out of the village and into the woods. 

Toothless looked excited but confused by his arrival. 

“I know, I don’t usually come at night. That’s probably going to change.” He hauled the basket into the cove and laid out several portions for Toothless and dumped the rest into the pond. 

Toothless looked insulted at the waste. 

“I know, I know! But for the next few days, I’m going to have so many eyes on me that I won’t really be able to sneak away. This way, I hope you can catch something.” 

Toothless still looked offended, as if to say, ‘you crippled me, and now you expect me to feed myself? Have you no shame?’ 

“I’m sorry! I promise that I’m trying to come up with a way to get you to fly again. I’ve got some sketches, but nothing solid enough to start drafting.” 

“Wrrrr…” Toothless grumpily ate some of the offered fish. 

Hiccup sat and leaned against his side, catching his breath after his long hike. 

Briefly, he day dreamed about sneaking Toothless into the Great Hall and hiding him up in the rafters so he’d be a part of the ceremony, but that plan would probably get both of them killed. 

So he’d have to tear himself away from Toothless for a while, and make sure no one would suspect anything. 

That could be hard with a new wife. 

—

The hours proceeding the ceremony were a whirlwind. Hiccup felt like he was being ripped in half in all the different directions he was being pulled. He had to talk to this person, and go see so and so for a fitting, and make sure what’s-his-face was bringing the cabbage, and say hello to this random guest he’d never met before. 

He was exceedingly lucky that he wasn’t there when the Berserkers arrived. He was supposed to be greeting his guests when they docked, but his father had sent him on a trivial errand when they appeared. 

Hiccup chose to believe it was on purpose and it was one instance when his father actually listened to him. 

But like some sort of divine magic, even at the other end of the village, Hiccup knew Dagur was on Berk. The scar the older boy inflicted on his forearm started itching, and Hiccup knew that his worst bully was near. 

He just had to stay low until the ceremony, and then Astrid would hopefully be able to protect him. 

And stay low he did. He crept around the village, still completing his father’s to-do list, but out of sight of anyone that wasn’t necessary. 

The rehearsal came and went. The Great Hall was full of people, and most of them talked over each other. It wasn’t so much a mock run through of the ceremony, as it was a brief list of events. 

He got his cues, he was told where to stand. He was told what happened when, and then it was dinner time. Just like that, everything was set for the next day, and Hiccup was ill prepared. 

He didn’t even get to practice kissing Astrid. 

“Hey,” Astrid continued to hold his hand even after everything was concluded. “I didn’t see you this morning.” 

“Oh! Gosh, I’m sorry Astrid. My sleep schedule is all messed up, and as soon as I was awake, dad had me all over the island. Honestly, half the stuff I was doing probably wasn’t necessary.” 

“I understand. That was my day too. Just missed you this morning.” 

His heart somersaulted. “Really? You missed me?” 

“Sure! Besides the whole betrothal thing, you are my friend, aren’t you?” 

“I think so?” 

She chuckled. “Then let’s get some dinner and you can tell me all about your day.” 

Hiccup swallowed, spotting the doors opened to the public. It wouldn’t be safe here. 

He faked a yawn. “Oh, I’d love to eat with you, but I’m exhausted, and it’s a big day tomorrow! I still have a lot I have to do!” 

A hard, deranged laugh echoed in the room. Hiccup didn’t look, but he knew Dagur was here. 

Astrid looked disappointed, and frowned. “Oh…I see.” 

He had to work quickly and reassure her, but he really didn’t want to reveal that he was afraid of someone in the hall. He didn’t want Astrid to protect him. It was her last night as a free woman after all. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. 

“I’m excited for tomorrow.” 

A pretty blush overtook her cheeks as she smiled genuinely. “Me too. I’ll see you later, Hiccup.” 

“‘Night!” He chirped. Then he darted away, taking the long route out of the Hall. As he crossed through the doors, he heard Dagur spot him. 

“Hiccup! Brother!” 

He didn’t stop. As if his blood was on fire, he ran and ran and ran until he was safely home and could barricade the doors. 

His heart was pounding. The door bars hadn’t always stopped Dagur. The boy could be brutal and ruthless when he wanted. 

So Hiccup barricaded the front door and lit a candle to look like he was home, then he snuck out the back and took the long route to the forge. 

Again, he barricaded the door. Even if he had to spend the rest of the night here, at least he was safe for now. There were no windows in this room, so the small candlelight wouldn’t give him away. No one would know. No one but Gobber and maybe his father, but they knew why he’d be hiding. 

Gobber had helped bandage his arm the last time after all. 

Confident in his sanctuary, Hiccup sat at his workbench. It was still a few hours before bed. Might as well make the most of it. 

He took a fresh piece of paper, and started sketching. 

—-

Wham wham wham! 

“Oi, you back there, lad? No sleepin’ in on your wedding day!” 

Hiccup’s eyes shot open. He’d set up a small hammock when sleep finally came for him, but that was at some ungodly hour…probably only an hour or two ago. 

He rocked his bed, losing his balance and flipping over to spill on the floor. “Ugh, I’m up.” 

“Chose a lousy hiding place to try to get out of the weddin’. You seemed to be gettin’ along real well with the lass. What got you cold feet?” 

Hiccup finally untangled himself from the heap on the floor and opened the door. “I don’t have cold feet. I was hiding from Dagur.” 

“Ah, ‘course. Should have known.” 

“Is dad mad?” 

“Him? No. He figured you were here if you weren’t at home. He would have been mad if you had absconded into the woods, though!” 

“Well, call off the search party.” Hiccup patted the dust from his clothes. 

“Gobber, party of one. Let’s get you cleaned up. And don’t worry, I’ll have your back until the ceremony. Though I suspect Dagur’s aware that you’re going to be watched today.”

Hiccup gnawed on his tongue as they ascended the hill. It was very early morning, just after dawn. It was a lovely day to get married! The sky was a soft pink with a few dustings of clouds. Romantic, warm, and joyful. 

He was too anxious to enjoy it. 

“What about Snotlout and the Twins?” 

“What about ‘em?” 

“I just know that one of them is going to ruin the wedding! There’s going to be some sort of prank and even if I have nothing to do with it, somehow, they’ll make me look bad. L-like booby trapping my chair so mud gets flung on me and Astrid–or on Chief Hofferson! What if they put something in the food and everyone gets food poisoning? What if—?!”

Gobber spun around and grabbed him firmly by the shoulder. “Now you listen to me, boy.” 

Hiccup gulped. 

“This isn’t just your wedding, this is a union of two tribes. The wedding of two children of chieftains. Interfering with this is a grave offense, not only to both tribes, but to the gods themselves.” 

Hiccup blinked several times. 

“So Snotlout will have gotten this same lecture from Spitelout, and the Twins have been excused from attending. I heard they’re tending to the livestock.” 

Hiccup’s shoulders eased slightly. “You sure it’s going to go smoothly?”

Gobber shrugged. “Nothing is ever guaranteed, lad. But you’ll be fine. You’re not making any grand gestures are you?” 

Hiccup immediately thought about the harness and the plan to kiss Astrid, but they had practiced so it would be fine, right? “...no?”

“Then, you’ll be in the clear!” He slapped him on the back, making him stagger. 

“Gee, thanks.” 

“No time for your sarcasm, boy-o. Let’s get you dressed!” 

The wedding was at noon. The earlier in the day, the more sober the crowd, and then earlier people could start drinking. 

Hiccup was just glad he wouldn’t have to wait too long. 

His stomach was in knots. He hadn’t eaten dinner and he was nauseous thinking about any kind of breakfast. Gobber had to poke and prod him into getting dressed as he was too distracted by his thoughts to do it himself. 

He wore a white, long-sleeved tunic that had a gold trim, belt, and cuffs. He even had cream colored pants and nice leather boots. 

“Wait!” Hiccup called, snapping back to reality as he laced his pants. 

“Now what?” Gobber asked, holding up his cape and ceremonial crown. 

Hiccup undressed again and grabbed the harness he’d made. 

“What in the blue-blazes is that, lad?” 

“...a harness?” He swallowed nervously. “It’s so I can hold Astrid and dip her in a kiss so she doesn’t have to bend down. I told you.” 

“Aye! But I didn’t think you’d go through with it!” 

Hiccup blushed. “It-it works! We tested it!” 

“Hiccup…” 

“Please don’t say anything Gobber! If I have to go tip-toe, and she has to bend all the way over to kiss, it’s going to be all anyone will talk about for the rest of my life.” 

“I think you’re exaggerating.” 

“Am not! I know you might think I’m freaking out because I get teased about everything, but weddings are on a different level! Ingmar tripped while carrying his bride at his wedding and people teased him about it even at her funeral!” 

“...you may have a point.” 

“And I know Snotlout and the twins are going to start teasing Astrid because of me and I’m trying to mitigate it! So please Gobber, this is really important to me!” 

“Okay okay!” Gobber chuckled. “I won’t say anything…just put some pants on, I can’t take you seriously.”  

Grateful, Hiccup began to get redressed, making sure the harness was completely hidden under his clothes. 

“You know if you drop her, people are going to make even more fun of you,” Gobber reminded. “They’ll wonder why you thought you could do that.” 

“That’s why we practiced.” 

“Does your father know that she’s enabling you?” 

“Enabling?! Wh-what!? Astrid j-just gets me! You know? She understands where I’m coming from.” 

“I doubt anyone can truly understand you, Hiccup. You’re…not as simple as the rest of us.” 

“I really don’t know if that was an insult or not.” 

“I just hope you know what you’re doing. I know you don’t, but I hope you do.” 

Hiccup rolled his eyes and tried not to let it get to him. Even as his closest supporter and friend, Gobber had a tendency to get under his skin. Hiccup knew he meant well, he just didn’t always have good execution. 

Gobber helped pin the gold pauldrons onto the fur cloak. The cloak was tiny on anyone else, the pelt of a goat instead of a bear. But he’d wear it for ceremony. All of this was for ceremony. Once the wedding was done with, ‘Hiccup Haddock’ would be a name synonymous with ‘useless’ once again. 

The juniper crown on his head felt heavy and awkward. The pauldrons kept sliding around. The boots creaked when he walked. The harness chaffed against his sweaty bare skin. 

Finally, Stoick arrived at the house. He gave Hiccup a once over, and a pleased nod. Then he beckoned him to follow to the Great Hall. 

“The rings?” Hiccup squeaked. 

Stoick held up the small velvet pouch. 

“Th-the swords?”

“Waitin’ for us.” 

“The axe! The morning gift!” 

“It’s at the forge. We’ll bring it with us in the morning.” 

Hiccup felt like he was missing something. So many things, actually. It felt like everything was going too fast and he was spinning out of control and he—

He couldn’t breathe. 

“D-dad,” Hiccup choked. He attempted to take in air but all he was doing was just making a horrible gasping sound. 

“He’s panicking,” Gobber said astutely. “Poor thing hasn’t eaten or drank anything all day.” 

“Aye,” Stoick steered his son over to a bench and had him sit. Then he gently forced his head down to rest between his legs. “Alright son, just breathe. It’s alright.” 

Hiccup sobbed as he felt the world tilt underneath him. 

Why him? Why now? This was just too much pressure. If anything went wrong—and it would! It was! It was already going wrong! Because of him! 

“Everything alright?” He heard Hulga call. 

“Just havin’ a wee bit of a panic,” Stoick said, almost casually. 

“You know how men get before weddin’s!” Gobber laughed. “I think I remember Spitelout actually passing out!” 

“I’ll get some water,” Hulga said, mercifully. 

It was easier to breathe when they were talking and making jokes. That let him pretend for a moment that this was a normal day, and not a huge change. But when they fell silent, and Stoick rested a hand on his shoulder, it all started spiraling again.

“I-I’m sorry!” Hiccup sobbed. 

“None of that, now,” Stoick said, not unkindly. “This is very normal.” 

Normal? Having a breakdown sob fest was normal? 

He was doing something normal? 

Perish the thought!   

“Here we are,” Hulga arrived with a bucket from the well and a ladle. “Nice and cool.” 

“Lad’s got a case of the weddin’ jitters?” Spitelout asked, arriving with his wife. “At least he’s gettin’ it out now. Looks like a bad one.” 

“‘s my fault,” said Gobber. “He was worried about the other kids teasing him and I told him that this was no ordinary wedding. I think I put too much on him.” 

Spitelout laughed. “Aww the wee thing’s right to be worried! I caught Snotlout fillin’ sacks up with paint, no doubt to throw.” 

Hiccup cringed, choking on his spit. 

“Ah course I confiscated it,” he reassured Stoick. “Gave him a nice warning about what’s at stake. He shouldn’t be a problem.” 

Hulga was rubbing Hiccup’s back and holding the ladle up for him. “Here boy, have some water. It’ll help.” 

Hiccup reached out with a shaky hand and took the ladle. He carefully sipped it down, trying not to drip onto his tunic. 

“That’s a good lad. Have another.” 

Hiccup did as he was instructed, thankful that his family was being helpful for once. Perhaps he was special today. Perhaps he’d get some scraps of kindness where it was usually lacking. Some mercy where there was usually wrath. 

Maybe today was his lucky day.

Hulga fixed his hair when he was finally able to sit upright and breathe. 

He swallowed with a blush, his eyes still red from crying. “Um…sorry you had to see that.” 

“I’d be more concerned if I didn’t,” Hulga snipped, her sternness returning. “Now I know you’re taking this seriously.” 

“Of course, ma’am.” Hiccup whispered. 

“Puttin’ everything into it!” Stoick said proudly. “Look at the rings he made!” 

Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief as Hulga and Spitelout both looked over the rings with vocal approval. Yes, today he was in the green. 

Once he could stand steadily, Hiccup and Stoick headed for the Great Hall. Most of the guests were there, sitting and waiting for the ceremony to start. 

“Did I delay anything?” Hiccup fretted. 

“The ceremony starts when the bride and groom are ready. The guests will wait.” 

Hiccup swallowed, but nodded. 

They waited in the back for Gobber and the Jorgensons to take their seats, then slowly started up the aisle together. 

And what a good thing that was, as Snotlout was sitting at the edge and stuck his foot out at the last second. 

Hiccup tripped, letting out a small yelp, before Stoick caught the back of his shirt and righted him. 

Snotlout groaned and then grunted, seemingly cuffed by a parent. 

“Come on,” Stoick said softly. “It’s fine.” 

Hiccup swallowed and nodded, before walking with purpose down to the altar. There, the swords of the two families waited to be traded, as well as a bowl of blood for the anointing. 

Now all that was left was to wait. 

It didn’t take long. Astrid and her family arrived, her arm linked with her father’s and a bouquet of daisies and bachelor buttons in the other. 

Tears bit at his eyes as the sight of her. She was lovely, breathtaking, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He thought she was radiant before in her armor, but now? Forget Valkyrie, Astrid was a Goddess, Freya incarnate, here to grace the mere mortals with her presence. 

He almost fell to the floor and proclaimed, ‘I am not worthy!’ 

Instead, all he did was stand there like a guppy with his mouth open. 

She arrived before him, smiling with a glimmer in her eye. 

“I, Chief Axel Hofferson, do hereby give my daughter, Astrid Hofferson, to Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third to wed.” 

Stoick answered, “On behalf of my son Hiccup, the Haddock family welcomes Astrid; not only into our family, but our tribe.” 

“Yeah we do!” Someone shouted from the audience. 

That made Hiccup jolt, and Astrid chuckle. 

Axel kissed Astrid on the forehead, and then guided her up to stand beside Hiccup.

“Wow,” he squeaked. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she grinned. 

He melted. She was so lovely, so sweet, so kind. And she was looking at him with adoration. 

He blinked a few times as her hands took his, just like they had in the woods the other night. Stoick was talking, making proclamations about honor and glory, of gratitude to the Shivering Shores, and the blessings of the gods. 

Hiccup was lost staring at his bride. His bride! Her hair was down, golden strands draped over her shoulders like luxury curtains. She wore a crown of wildflowers, which included bachelor buttons and larkspur that complimented her icy blue eyes. 

Her delicate lips flushed pink, and he suddenly felt a strong urge to kiss her. To kiss her in front of everyone. 

She was the only one that treated him with any kind of dignity, and she deserved to know how much that meant to him. 

But he’d hold onto that feeling, and wait for the okay. 

“This sword represents the honor of the Haddock family. With it, we proclaim our promise to protect Astrid.” Stoick gave the sword to Hiccup. 

Robotically, Hiccup held the sword up and made his own promise. “With this sword, I promise to love and cherish you, as my wife. This is my offering to you, a symbol of my devotion and my strength.” 

Astrid took the sword and bowed her head, before setting it aside. 

Chief Axel took the other one. “This sword represents the honor of House Hofferson. With it, we promise to respect Hiccup.” And he passed the sword to Astrid. 

She held hers up, just as he did. “With this sword, I pledge my life to you. To serve and protect you all of my life. To cherish and love you, in darkness and in joy, until the end of our days. This is my offering to you, as a symbol of my family’s faith in your pledge.” 

Hiccup took the sword with a bow of the head and placed it back on the altar. 

So far, so good! He remembered the thing he was supposed to say! 

Next was the exchange of the rings. He didn’t have to say anything, as Stoick walked them through it…with some ceremonial fluff about circles. 

Next, Chief Axel sat down and Stoick stood back. Gothi stood between them and began to wrap their hands in the unity cloth. Then she smeared blood on both of their foreheads before beginning her chants. This was to invoke the blessings of the gods, arguably the most important part of the wedding. If the gods showed any sort of refusal, the union would not take place. 

Hiccup held his breath, waiting for a call of lightning to shake the Great Hall on protest, or something equally outlandish. 

Instead, he heard a murmur in the crowd and felt something brush against his leg. 

He whipped his head down, not expecting a touch. 

It was a cat. A tabby cat, rubbing its body against him. Then it went over and rubbed against Astrid. 

Everyone was still and watched in awe. 

The cat then flopped down and laid between the two aisles, watching them, seemingly unbothered. 

“Is that good?” Hiccup whispered, terrified. 

Gothi smiled and nodded, then raised her hand to the ceiling. 

Stoick returned then, his own wide smile in place. “Ye, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Son of Stoick the Vast, dost taketh Astrid Hofferson, daughter of Freyja, to be his betrothed?”

“Aye.” Hiccup nodded.

“And Astrid Hofferson, dost thou taketh Hiccup Haddock to be her betrothed?”

“Aye.” She grinned. 

“Then, by utterance of these words, this union may only be broken in the Halls of Valhalla. You may kiss your bride.” 

This was it. All that was left to do was kiss Astrid, and they’d be married. She met his gaze with a knowing look. 

Pretending he was out in the woods, Hiccup untangled his hands from the cloth and reached around her to find the loop on the harness. Then, despite the shocked gasps and muted protests, he swung her around and dipped her, just like they practiced. 

Then he kissed her. Not a peck, but a kiss to silence any doubts anyone had about how good of a husband he could be. 

Astrid’s fingers curled in his hair as she released a pleased hum, which he could barely hear over the din of cheers and wolf-whistles. 

Before his strength gave out, he righted her on her feet, taking a moment to make sure her hair and crown were in place. 

She beamed at him, her cheeks a lovely flushed pink. 

“Hiccup and Astrid Haddock,” Stoick presented, hands on their shoulders. 

It was done. He’d done his duty to the utmost of his ability, and showed everyone he was capable of doing good by the village. 

How long would the positive feelings last though? A week? Until his next screw up? 

Until Toothless was discovered? 

Astrid took his hand and squeezed it. “Come on!” 

In his distracted daze, he’d missed the announcement that it was time for the sword plunging ceremony. 

Right. The official wedding ceremony was over and a success, but there were plenty of other traditions to ‘pull a Hiccup’ on. 

Astrid pulled him along to where the post was. Of the few weddings he’d been allowed to attend, this part of the tradition had been done with a post of the Great Hall. However, their post was new, braced against the wall in the corner. It only took a moment to realize that it was a support beam for their new house that it clicked. This was the old, literal version of the tradition. 

That made it feel heavier. 

As he raked his eyes over the target, he spotted the tiniest chalk arrow that pointed at a groove, Astrid’s mark. 

Hiccup picked up the sword that sat on a podium nearby. It was lighter than their combat swords, but wickedly sharp. 

“I-I-I forgot to ask earlier, but how am I supposed to do this?” He asked his father. “Do I throw it?” 

Stoick thankfully just patiently smiled. “Just do what feels right. I’ll be happy if it sticks at all.” 

So the bar was low. Great! 

Hiccup lifted the tip of the blade and pointed it at the little crack Astrid had made. Holding his breath to keep the blade from shaking, he thrust forward, sinking the blade into the wood, and making it go all the way through. 

More cheers and wolf-whistles, and Hiccup began to feel light-headed. He had not expected this wedding to go as smoothly as it had. 

Stoick’s hand was on his shoulder as he led them to sit at the head table, perched on a step to look out over the crowd. 

A hammer sat at the plate setting of Astrid’s seat. 

Right, one last chance to embarrass his bride by dropping a heavy-ass hammer on her. 

With a sigh, he and Astrid took their seats as did the rest of the crowd. Stoick stood behind them, resting his hand on Hiccup’s shoulder. 

“You’re almost done,” he comforted. 

Once the rest of the audience sat, Hiccup hesitantly grabbed the hammer, tensed his arms and lifted—-

It was not that heavy. Not at all! 

It looked like the ceremonial replica of Mjolnor he’d seen, but there was a large seam in the back. 

He scanned the crowd, spotting Gobber who gave him a thumbs up. 

This was a fake, most likely hollow. 

He was elated and relieved. 

With enthusiasm, Hiccup blessed his bride with the hammer, swooping it over her lap in three points, as he’d seen a dozen times or so. 

“Let the feast commence!” Stoick shouted. 

Relief flowed out of Hiccup so quickly he almost dropped the hammer. He was done. They’d done it! They’d executed the wedding ceremony with no hitches. 

Even Freyja was apparently pleased. 

Astrid held his wrist and guided the hammer back down to the front of the table. 

“Why is it so light?” She chuckled. 

“So I didn’t clonk you with it.” 

“Not very practical if we come under attack and I have to protect you.” 

He looked at her incredulously. “Well…let’s hope we don’t get attacked?” 

She wrapped an arm around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, that would put a real downer on this lovely day.” 

He’d known her for about three days now. There was still plenty he didn’t know, plenty she didn’t know about him. They were practically strangers. 

But as he rested his head against hers, he pretended that they had known each other all their lives. That this was a wedding he’d looked forward to for years. 

He pretended that she loved him. 

The physical affection was wonderful, and the scent of her perfume and the warmth of her touch sent a very peaceful calm through him. A calm he’d really only felt around Toothless. 

He would make mistakes as always, but maybe Astrid wouldn’t mind. Maybe a clean start with her without the lingering stigma could work. Maybe they’d be okay. 

Plates of food arrived, and they ate in silence. At first, it was that unhurried, comfortable, companionable silence. They both drank in the people around them, the decorations, the music, and just basked in the glory of a job well done. 

But then Hiccup started to worry that he should say something. She was his wife now, after all. They should be able to hold a normal conversation, right? He twirled his fork in hand, thinking of what to say. 

As usual, Astrid beat him to it. “Hey.” 

He turned to her, only to find a fork full of food being held up for him. 

He went bright red. Spouses feeding each other, washing each other’s hair, wives shaving their husbands; these were all incredibly intimate acts that when done publicly, basically screamed ‘we’re so in love! Hey everyone! Look at how in love we are!’ 

Feeding each other at a wedding was unheard of for arranged marriages. 

Hiccup swallowed and nodded slightly. Then he opened his mouth and allowed her to feed him. 

Once he swallowed his bite, he got some food on his fork and returned the action. 

That’s how they had their meal. They took turns offering food and drink to the other. Somewhere in the middle, Astrid started giggling. Then she swooped the fork around. “Here comes the Gronkle! Pppffffftttt!” 

Hiccup attempted to give her a flat look and suppress the smile on his lips. “Oh really? And what does that make me? A cave?” 

“A very handsome…sassy cave.” 

He lunged forward and chomped the bite off the fork. “This cave has teeth!” 

“Ah! It’s alive!” She chuckled. 

“And I’m still hungry!” He growled. 

Astrid laughed. Not necessarily because it was funny, but because of how silly it was. She looked relaxed, at ease, and comfortable. 

He supposed that she would be. If everything in life had prepared her for this day to be miserable, she was thrilled that her match wasn’t a brutal warlord or a perverted old man. 

Just an awkward kid that sometimes didn’t know when to stop talking. 

After the meal, they were expected to greet their guests. This time, they’d do it as a married couple. This time, he’d meet the guests that Astrid had greeted at the docks and be introduced, likewise, he’d have to introduce those his father had greeted the day before. 

And now he realized why he had to be there. 

But he needn’t worry too much. These guests seemed happy enough to introduce themselves with enthusiasm and unnecessarily braggadocious titles. 

Astrid seemed to follow along quickly, figuring out who was a friend, ally, or tribesmen. She had a natural charisma to hold conversation and fluff egos. 

Hiccup was almost jealous at how effortless it appeared to be for her. 

At their usual table, the teens of the village sat together. Hiccup sighed as he approached, bracing for the inevitable. 

“I didn’t know you had that in you, Haddock,” said Ruffnut. “Kinda hot.” 

Hiccup shuttered. 

“Hey yeah, nice job not dropping your bride!” Said Snotlout. “Would have been really funny if you had, though.” 

Hiccup rolled his eyes and ignored the comments. “Astrid, these are our peers. You’ve met Snotlout.” 

“We’re well acquainted,” she punched her hand, prompting him to cower. 

“These are the twins, Tuffnut and Ruffnut Thorston.” 

“Hey,” said Tuff. 

“Nice arms,” said Ruff. 

“And last, but not least, Fishlegs, the decent one at the table.” 

“Hey!” Protested the other three. 

“Aw, thanks Hiccup.” 

“Oh!” Astrid grinned. “You’re Fishlegs? My sisters said you showed them around the island!” 

“Naturally. I’m something of an expert on the history and traditions of Berk. If you have any questions, I’m always happy to help.” 

“Suck up,” Snotlout chided. 

“Well, moving on—“ Hiccup attempted to leave them in the dust. 

“Hey wait!” Said Fishlegs. “We’re all starting dragon training soon. Are you going to join?” 

Astrid frowned, and then asked, “is that the Rite of Passage? I don’t know.” 

“It’s training on how to kill dragons,” Fishlegs elaborated. “You ought to think about it. It’ll help!” 

She looked to Hiccup, but he couldn’t in good conscience encourage her. Not after knowing Toothless. 

“Useless isn’t joining, if that's what you're thinking,” Snotlout declared. “He’s a hazard. He’s not even allowed to be in the water brigade.” 

“Because I’m busy in the forge,” Hiccup protested, his face turning red. 

“Yeah, busy making messes,” Ruffnut chuckled. “What was that thing you said in the last raid? ‘Oh dad, I hit a Nightfury! And I really did it this time, not like the last dozen times where I just said I did so you wouldn’t whoop me for blowing something up!’” 

Hiccup hissed a breath through his teeth. 

“Your dad still whooped you later, right? I thought I saw you hobbling around,” said Tuff. 

“No stupid, this was the last straw. Chief got him a babysitter.” 

Tuff stared at the couple before shouting, “A babysitter?! That’s what this was?! I wondered why Hiccup Fishbone Haddock got a hot wife!” 

Without saying anything else, Hiccup moved onto the next table, plastering a fake smile onto his face. “Hey everyone, thanks for coming! How is everything? Got enough mead?” 

“Hiccup…” Astrid began. 

He took her hand and squeezed. “Let’s not talk about that tonight, okay?” He continued to smile, but he knew his eyes were watering. 

Astrid pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You got it, babe.” Then she turned to the table he had greeted. “Sorry about that! Hi, I’m Astrid!” 

When they reached the table where the Hofferson family was sitting, a loud squeal overcame the group and one of the sisters lunged from the table and into Astrid’s arms. 

“Brynhild!” Astrid shouted, embracing the girl. “I didn’t know if you were going to make it!” 

“We got here this morning, just in time!” 

Hiccup fondly observed the reunion, giving them a respectable distance. Sigurd, Ingrid, Phlegma, and Chief Axel watched too, smiling. 

But there was another presence at the table. A large, beefy man, easily 300 pounds of muscle, clad in black fur and a gnarled helmet. Instead of pauldrons, he had a matching pair of bear heads, complete with snarling teeth. He was war-forged, what skin was visible under his massive black beard was covered in scars and pock-marks. One eye had a gruesome scar over it and was hazy, likely blind. 

Hiccup remembered then that Astrid’s oldest sister had been married off to a Gaul, with only a few minutes' warning. This was likely that man. 

In an effort to be cordial and advance his father’s dreams of rekindling an alliance with the Gauls, Hiccup approached the man. “Hello, y-you must be Astrid’s brother-in-law, I suppose my brother-in-law too, ha! Uh…I didn’t catch your name.” 

The man glared at him, a frown pulling at his face. “Birger,” the man bit. His voice was deep and gargling. 

“B-Birger! Nice to meet you, I’m Hiccup!” He chirped, and held out his hand. 

The man took it and gave a faint squeeze. “Aye.” 

“So…you came all the way from the Island of Night, right? Must have been quite the trip!” 

“Aye,” the man said again, sharply. And that was all. He assessed Hiccup with a shrewd eye, and apparently didn’t like what he saw. 

Hiccup gulped in fear. 

“Oh, Birgy’s not one for small talk,” Brynhild said, sweetly. She hugged Hiccup, giving him a fond squeeze. “Welcome to the family! What a wonderful ceremony! You know, you Hooligans have a little bit of a different tradition than on the Shivering Shores—“ and she was off. Talking a mile a minute, barely pausing to breathe. 

She was very similar to the other Hofferson sisters. Delicate, beautiful, blonde hair and blue eyes. It was really remarkable. The three older sisters were almost duplicates of Phlegma, and then the youngest came out with the physique of a lumberjack. 

Not that he minded! Not at all! 

Quite the opposite. 

Eventually, Astrid intervened. “Alright Bryn, you’re talking his ear off.” 

“Oh!” Brynhild blushed. “I’m sorry, I talk a lot when I meet new people.” 

“And people you’ve known forever,” said Sigurd. 

“It’s alright,” Hiccup smiled. “I liked chatting with you. But we have to greet the rest of the guests too.” Though he rather not. 

“Ah yes,” Bryn nodded. “Very important! Well, Birgy and I will be staying for a few days, so we’ll catch up, right?” 

“Absolutely!” Astrid hugged her sister. “I miss you so much.” 

“I miss you too!” 

Astrid pulled away begrudgingly, and Brynhild went to sit back down.

Remarkably, Hiccup watched Birger stand and push her chair in for her before sitting down again. Of course, it was the polite thing to do, Hiccup just hadn’t expected it from this living weapon. 

They were almost done. Just one more table and—-

Ah. Right. The guest he had been dreading. 

Dagur stood, knocking his chair back into the guest behind him. “Hiccup! My little buddy!” 

Hiccup cringed out a smile as a whine came from the back of his throat. “Daaaaaagur…hiiiii….” 

Dagur approached with wide arms and a sinister smile. 

Hiccup tensed before he was lifted off the ground in a crushing hug. 

“Look at you! All grown up and getting married to Astrid Hofferson of all people! What a…fortunate match!” He didn’t hide the displeasure in his tone. 

“Thanks,” Hiccup wheezed. 

“Alright son, that’s enough,” Oswald mercifully intervened. “You can play with Hiccup later, we’ll be here for a few days.” 

Great. Hiccup thought. 

Dagur set him down and straightened his cloak for him, though there was a dangerous look in his eyes, like he was plotting something. “Yeah, we’ll catch up later. Not a problem.” 

To everyone else, it probably sounded so innocent, so friendly, but to Hiccup, there was a clear threat in those words. 

—

Once greetings were done, Hiccup sighed in relief. How much more was expected of him? Of course he’d be in the spotlight for the rest of the evening, and slipping away to take a breath was probably not in the cards. 

But he was pretty certain the next traditional thing he had to do was be escorted to his house by an entourage. But that was a few hours away. For now, he just had to smile and be happy. 

And honestly, he was. Astrid was so wonderful. She was kind, calm, and patient. And most importantly, she was accepting him so far. 

And kissing her was awesome! 

“Wanna dance?” She asked.

Hiccup’s eyebrows raised into his hairline. “D-dance? I’m not sure…” 

“Only if you want to,” she smiled. “I thought it could be fun.” 

“I…I want to, but I have two left feet.” 

“That’s okay! Everyone is getting drunk anyway!” 

He laughed at that and took her extended hand. “Okay, I’ll give it a try!” 

She pulled him to the open floor, where the band was already playing. He grew nervous as he noticed how many people were watching, but Astrid was here. Astrid was here and he was okay.

She led him through the steps, showing him where to put his foot, how to hold her arms, when to twirl. None of it was in time with the music, but once he got the hang of it, then the beat started to encourage him. Then he stepped in time. He realized he was placed in the woman’s position, being the one to twirl under her arm, or the move where he was hugged from behind as they crossed arms. He just hoped that anyone that would make fun of him for it would be too drunk to notice. But honestly, it was easier and smoother this way. If he tried to twirl her, she’d have to duck and crouch and it’d throw everything off. 

And he didn’t really mind, as long as he was dancing with Astrid. 

After a few songs, he needed a break. He got a pint of mead while Astrid continued dancing, either with her sisters or her father. It was obvious she had more endurance than he did. 

He just sat off to the side and watched, content to observe. She smiled and laughed, clasping hands with her sister Brynhild. 

Suddenly, Hiccup felt a large presence beside him. The table shook as someone sat down. 

He glanced to the side, apprehensive, but tried to play it cool. 

It was Birger, a pint of mead in his hand. He was watching the two girls dance as well. 

Hiccup remembered what Brynhild said about small talk and elected not to say anything. If Birger wanted to say something, he’d give him the chance when he was ready. 

Surely the man wouldn’t hurt him here and now, right? In front of everyone? On his wedding day? Surely not!

“We’re lucky,” Birger finally said. 

Hiccup turned towards him, showing he was listening, but not interrupting. 

“Our wives, the two prettiest girls in the room.” 

“Yeah,” Hiccup nodded. “All the Hofferson sisters are really pretty.” 

“True. But we got the best ones.” He took a sip of his drink. “Bryn says Ingrid and Sigurd love to gossip and tease. Astrid, however, is the one that always worked the hardest and did her best. It shows.” 

Hiccup nodded again. “She’s made quite the name for herself.” 

“Bryn’s happy for her. Look at those smiles. They’re genuine.” 

Hiccup saw exactly what he meant. Brynhild and Astrid were chatting as they danced, and their faces were flushed pink with joy and their smiles and laughter were unrestrained and easy. 

Then he looked at Birger. Despite the harsh exterior and the hard lines of a life of war, his gaze was soft and affectionate. 

“Women bring change to your life,” he explained. “They come with their own baggage, their own problems, but ultimately, they make your life better. They turn houses into homes. Silent nights by the fire are comforting instead of lonely. They make days go by faster.”

Hiccup smiled at him. “That sounds nice.” 

“Might take time to get used to, but you’ll see for yourself.” 

Astrid switched to dance with Ingrid, and Brynhild was left without a partner. She scanned the room, and when she found Birger, she started waving at him to join. 

Birger sighed and set down his pint. “At times, you’ll find yourself doing things you never thought you’d do. And you’ll be happy about it.” He stood. “As long as you’re open to it all.” Then, without another word, he went to dance with his wife. 

The man stuck out like a sore thumb among the half-drunken troupe. He was slow and stilted, not really dancing, but he was following Brynhild’s movements and matching what mattered. 

Hiccup would have kept watching, but nature called. He set his pint to the side and made his way out of the Great Hall and down to the outhouses in the square. 

The evening was lovely. The sun hadn’t set yet, but it was close. The sky was a cloudless gradient of oranges, reds, and pinks. 

Hiccup thought briefly about Toothless. Was he okay? Was he lonely? Was there time to go check on him? Probably not. If he was gone too long, people would come looking. 

Of course, that hadn’t always been the case, but only now, when he really needed the time to hide away, would he be sought out. 

This timing sucked! 

Hiccup did his business, but as he exited the outhouse, an arm wrapped around his neck and yanked him off his feet. Another arm pinned both of his behind his back. Then they were walking, away from the Great Hall. Away from the party. 

Away from Astrid. 

“Finally! Quality time with my best bud!” Dagur cackled in his ear. 

“Let me go!” Hiccup hissed, the most he could manage in his headlock. 

“Oh don’t be such a killjoy, Hiccup! I have a bunch of fun activities for us! You remember the classic game ‘Don’t Scream’ right?” He dug his nails into the scar on Hiccup’s forearm. “I’ve got a barrel of pig’s blood with your name on it!” 

Hiccup kicked and thrashed, but Dagur only tightened his hold on his neck, making it hard to breathe. 

Then Dagur halted abruptly, staggering on his feet. 

He whirled around. “Who dares interrupt my quality time with my little brother!?” 

Birger, of all people, stood there, that impassive glare on his face. “You ought put down my little brother.” 

“Your brother!?”

“Married to my sister, so yes.” 

Dagur scoffed. “You’ve got it all wrong! We’re just having fun! Right Hiccup? Tell the man!” 

Even if Hiccup wanted to, he couldn’t say anything. Dagur’s headlock was too tight, and he couldn’t speak. He opened his mouth and a choking gasp came out. 

That was enough for Birger, apparently, as he charged Dagur. He pried his arms off Hiccup, letting him fall to the ground and catch his breath. 

A fight then broke out between Dagur and Birger. Dagur was ruthless and well trained. All of his punches and kicks were devastating, as Hiccup knew personally. But Birger took them all, with barely a flinch. 

Finally, Birger was able to grapple Dagur and lifted him off his feet. 

“Put me down! Put me down this instant, you brain-dead oaf! Do you know who my father is?!” 

“No. Don’t care.” 

Hiccup scrambled to his feet and followed as Birger carried Dagur down through town, down to the ramps, and then tossed him into the sea. 

It wasn’t far enough of a drop to kill him, but definitely enough to scare him. It’d take a little while to get back up into the village too. 

“Jerk,” Birger scoffed. He turned to Hiccup. “You good?” 

Hiccup nodded, rubbing his throat. “Th-thank you.” 

“Sure. Better get back.” 

They walked a little ways in silence before Hiccup asked, “could you…not mention this to anyone?” 

“Why? He should be punished.” 

“I know, I just…the whole reason Astrid and I got married is because I obviously can’t protect myself. I’d feel awful if it got out that…” He trailed off, hoping that Birger understood what he meant. 

“I see,” said the man. “What’s that boy got against you?” 

Hiccup shrugged. “I don’t know. I think he’s just crazy. He’s Dagur the Deranged.” 

“Oh, I’ve heard of him. Didn’t know that was him.” 

“I hope I didn’t just cause a whole heap of trouble for you. If he finds out who you are, he might come after the Island of Night and—” 

“Hiccup.” 

Hiccup snapped his mouth shut, fearing he’d said too much. 

Birger just rested a heavy hand on his shoulder, sort of how his father did. “We’re family now, and family sticks together. If anything more comes out of this, Dagur is the one that started it. Not you.”

“Still…”

“We can handle it. Berk’s got its own problems. Lookin’ forward to gettin’ a dragon pelt before I leave.” 

“Heh. Good luck with that.”  

—--

Ignore that the Gauls were from the area of modern day France and Germany. I’ve used them as a name of a viking tribe for years and only recently did the research. So….these aren’t the historical Gauls. These are independent of them. Thanks!

[postsforposting]

razzle dazzle

i do not think cable's telling the truth about the time watch.

ntw specifically wonders "how something so small GENERATES enough energy to reverse time". meaning it doesn't need charges, it generates that by itself. it wasn't limited to two charges. "lazy writing", snort.

we watch cable flip through time, choosing where he's going. the image he stops on is.....the xmen blackbird landing during russell's breakout attempt at the orphanage.

he landed the day before. it's not years or decades off. he chose this time specifically. he didn't ever intend to go back to when russell was a baby. he was lying when he implied this specific time was an accident, implying he had wanted to show up when russell was a baby, when it would be easy to kill him. he didn't want to kill him. he's lying about why he's there.

because the charges were a lie, cable wasn't stuck in the past. he'd always meant to stay. perhaps what yukio and ntw "fixed" about the watch wasn't how many charges it had, but how fine grained its control could be over long trips such as hopping multiverses, or maybe who can control it if it was keyed only to cable given his eyeball lights up when he uses it.

since he lied about the watch, cable knew what year it was when he landed. he picked the blackbird landing because he knew what it meant, WHEN it was.

so why ask what year it is? i think he's putting on a show....for us. in many ways, but in this particular instance he's lying that he doesn't know what time he's in. he's lying about what he knows. there's only two randos when he lands, so why talk to them at all? why lie and put on the show for them......if he isn't aware of US and the fourth wall?

he's lying to us, just like he lied about how the time watch works, implying he's the kind of guy to kill a baby and abandon his family. why make himself look that bad?

i think he's deliberately rubbing shit on his face, as the rednecks were discussing when he landed. he's acting like he doesn't know anything, acting like an asshole, a fool. he's playing the part of a villain, and he knows that's his role. he's not by nature an antagonist. he's just playing one, so he's a...thespiantagonist. evil as a performance. he's making himself look worse than he actually is.

that's what comics wade does: paints himself in a worse light than he is, makes everyone think he's a loose canon and vile person. but he's not that bad. it's an act. movie wade does the same thing, just not to the same degree. comics cable also lies, omits, and misdirects in his quest to save the world, but he does it to make himself appear BETTER than he is. he's actually ruthless and will shoot a teammate in the back just to win a petty scuffle. he'll do anything to not lose. ends justifies means, essentially.

since cable's from the future, and he deliberately picked russell's breakout fight, he knew exactly where russell was when he landed.

but he waited until after he was sent to the ice box. until he'd been there with wade for a bit, after russell decided to protect wade. why? he could have easily shown up to russell's orphanage breakout attempt and killed him off, he would have been cheered. BUT HE DID NOT.

he doesn't want to kill russell, he wants to save him.

if he's intending to save russell, why not just save him from going to the ice box? why not show up and tell colossus that he's from the future, wade's right, and they need to save the kids? why not save him from ever going to the orphanage?

well......

that's not a very good show. there's no drama, no strife in that. the difference between a villain and a supervillain is presentation; the difference between a hero and villain is also appearance, a label, as russell found out the hard way when the xmen wouldn't believe wade. russell was labeled as a problem by everyone around him, so no one cared what happened to him. except wade.

as colossus tells us, properly labeling things that will be fridged is second in importance to not killing anyone ever. so it's understandable if the wrong label ends up where it shouldn't, if you're not going to fridge anybody, because even the xmen weren't using the...proper....labels until wade overhauled the system. labels that fall off and can be easily swapped aren't very good labels, you would think. but it's not like wade got everyone's tag right.

an incorrect label, like, say, calling someone a villain, a problem, when they're not. how hard is it to get a label off?

well. some labels fall off by themselves, but some never come off all the way no matter how hard you try. what is, is (spock reference)--but is it? does it have to be? is it the right label? would a rose by any other name be treated the same, even if it smells as sweet?

people get put off by brownies shaped like turds, so. i think the answer's pretty clear.

russell shouldn't have been treated like a turd for defending himself, being different, when he did nothing different from the xmen themselves.

cable knows this is all for the audience. cable's playing the villain to set russell up to be saved, to set wade up as the savior. can't dramatically save russell in cinematic nick of time slo mo if no one's trying to kill him.

cable waited to attack the prison until after russell met wade and tried to protect him. that's why cable only took the shot at russell after wade hugged him, not the first time russell tried to kill the headmaster when wade objected and "talked cable down". which russell saw happen.

russell said he couldn't trust wade, but he didn't kill wade for approaching him--the inside of his suit was still red, it was only a superficial scalding. that was the perfect opening for wade to prove he cared and could be trusted. there's no way cable didn't see wade jumping in his path; wade was right in his line of sight, and had already made his "kill me" declaration. i'm not sure if it was planned from the getgo, but they at least caught each other's drift and played along.

in the cable&deadpool comics, everything cable does was planned from the beginning, and wade played along with all of it. they act like that's not the case, but his idiot act is just an act.

when we first meet cable in the movie, he's sideways. "not upright", not how he actually is. we're not seeing what we think we're seeing, just like in dp1 when vanessa and wade playing skeeball was shown sideways as if it they were having sex. what we saw wasn't what it appeared to be.

after the prison attack, it happens again: cable is shown in a mirror. the cable we're seeing isn't the real cable, it's a reflection of the real thing. backwards.

i do not think this is merely meant as an allusion to his good guy comics version.

when wade visits al the first time, the show that's playing is a famous scene from the jack benny program.

On both television and radio, The Jack Benny Program used a loose show-within-a-show format,[2] wherein the main characters were playing versions of themselves.[3] The show often broke the fourth wall, with the characters interacting with the audience and commenting on the program and its advertisements.[4]

it's a.....show within a show, where people played versions of themselves. not who they really were. jack benny was the main star, but his character was a terrible man whom everyone else made fun of as the butt of the jokes.

you know, like cable was playing a villain, a performance within the show, and got endlessly ragged on for "being terrible". like wade making fun of him for being racist....when he really wasn't.

a movie repeatedly referenced is captain america: winter soldier. there's a bunch of cap references, and wade explicitly says cable has a "winter soldier arm". the winter solider was a good guy who was made to play the villain. a guy who didn't actually commit the murder he was imprisoned for. a good guy forced onto the wrong side of the fence.

wade never calls it a terminator arm, which would be expected if cable's the villain. in the comics, he does call him "terminator". movie wade calls cable "john connor", the guy who defeats skynet and saves the world. why call the bad guy by a hero's name? twice, if we include bucky's arm in that?

cause he's not actually a bad guy. wade knows something we don't.

but perhaps wade is confused, like when he mixed up star wars in the beginning.

i don't think so.

there's another winter soldier reference in the scene where wade chases the thug who killed vanessa into traffic. that whole scene is reminiscent of the winter soldier scene where fury's SUV is attacked by cops in broad daylight; except this time, it's raining at night and the focus isn't on the SUV but on the sedan accidentally hitting an suv. fury was falsely attacked, but the thug was rightfully chased. wade plays the role of the winter soldier reaching into the destroyed car to find his victim. fury got away, the thug didn't.

winter solider lacks his memory, but this scene isn't a direct recreation. so instead of being the memoryless bad guy who attacks the wrong man, wade's the good guy who knows exactly what he's doing. he's only pretending to get things wrong. he's only pretending to forget crucial things. he's acting like he's an idiot, but he's not.

it's not an accident he refers to cable as "john conner" and "winter soldier". it's deliberate.

wade also references the movie "die harder": the cops don't believe the hero when he says something villainous is going on; someone who's thought long dead is actually alive; and a good guy turns out to be on the bad guys' side.

the xmen didn't believe wade about the abuse when he was trying to save russell; lots of people are thought dead who come back to life. but where's the good guy revealed to be a traitor? i don't think it's russell; it's certainly not cable.

i think wade was on cable's side all along, playing along with the show within a show thespiantagonism. like we saw wade repeat, beat for beat, the same orphanage fight when cable rewound time. wade knew time was different, because his line about the bear changes between the first and second time. he also knew cable had timeslid after finding the coin, instead of believing it had always been that way.

i think wade knows what cable's real plan is, and is in on it.

if you watch their fights, they're not actually trying to kill each other. they're doing far from their best. they miss obvious openings, they stand around and let the other wind up and whale on them. as we saw in the world tour montage, wade fights back easily even with a bunch of swords in him against a dozen guys. one knife and a couple punches aren't going to phase him.

cable gets up after being blown through walls in the prison, by a gun whose kickback he can stand and wade can't, and he gets up after being slammed through a bridge when juggernaut gets out. he gets up after juggernaut punches him into a car. he's not easily stopped. so he was choosing not to fight back against wade. just as wade didn't really fight back against him. cable also doesn't throw the grenade that wade sets off in the prison. he tossed it on the floor in front of himself, not at russell round the corner.

why futz around like that if murdering each other is on the table?

in the winter soldier, during their fight on the bridge, a lot of people complained that WS should have tried to kill steve by crushing steve's throat he had hold of, instead of tossing him. bucky didn't because something in him recognized steve, and he didn't want to kill him. i think that's why steve believed he could save him, and didn't fight back, but that's beside the point: bucky didn't try to kill steve, because he knew who he was.

cable doesn't go all out against wade, because he knows who wade is. he's only pretending not to, just like he lied about the time watch. i think wade also knew who cable was from the getgo. this ties into the soundtrack, but that's a separate tangent.

the second time cable meets wade, he jumps down the side of a building while dragging his hand down it. for the longest time i couldn't place where i'd seen that before, but that's one of hulk's moves. a hero's move. it's specifically when he saves stark in the first avengers movie. i'm pretty sure a spiderman has done it too, but i don't recall when.

i think cable and wade put on this show because they wanted to fool around. can't live unless we've "died" a little, yeah? factually that is completely wrong, but euphemistically it's true. wade dying and "dying" is him experiencing joy. remember the white suit he started out with? the one he said he should have worn for juggernaut?

another big theme from the comics is "don't ask, don't tell", as in indefinably queer, but also as in they never say what they mean, they never admit what's really going on, and they point blank lie to your face about all of it.

cable and wade put on a show to save a lot of children....with guy on guy action.

gay sex saves lives

DADT and cable's shameless lying is why cable denies he "did it for wade" at the end.

there's also the question of how did cable know that russell was going to kill the headmaster that night. he's from the future, so we could claim he's guessing based on previous history, but the way he says it is certain, not a guess or speculation. not "he's planning to do this", or "he's doing it right now", but "he's doing it tonight". there's no reason russell had to do anything immediately; he and juggernaut could have gone on a shopping spree, attacked the prison, done sleepovers or whatever crime spree for a long while before going after the orphanage.

how does he know what russell's plans are and when they are? how does he know they have a few hours for wade to regrow his legs?

in the future cable's from, cable never attacked the prison and so russell and the others were not released on that day. the future and the past cannot have "always happened" a la the standard time travel paradox, since we see the bear change color. when he's in the past, he can't know the "new" future--he can't know what was going to happen.

we could postulate that this isn't their first rodeo--it's not the first loop through the time stream, like happened in cable&deadpool's second comic, split second, which could be the case given cable lied about the charges--but if it's not the first time then they haven't gotten it right previously, so they're still changing things and can't be certain of anything. cable still wouldn't know what's happening THIS time, right now. at least, not all the way to the end, since getting the end right is why they're (still?) going at it.

how could he and wade be so in sync too, knowing what each other's up to without ever getting on the same page? that COULD be explained by this not being the first rodeo, since we know wade can tell when time's been rewound and that he retains knowledge of the original timeline, but i think there are too many "in the nick of time" moments for that to be the only explanation. i would imagine that, if this weren't the first rodeo, cable hadn't yet shot wade, because that was the winning move. so how did they sync that up so perfectly to get him in the heart if they hadn't done it before?

there's no way cable didn't see wade running into his line of sight, and he heard wade declare that he'd sacrifice himself. cable could have gotten russell after wade flew by, if he'd wanted to.

it wasn't domino, her powers do not care for other people, the audience, or fourth wall stuff.

i think cable's telepathic, and isn't fessing up to it. don't ask, don't tell: comics cable was "one with" wade, and denied he was telepathic while still puppeteering the world and messing with wade's mind. they don't do anything aloud because they don't have to, they really do "just know" everything about each other without asking or telling.

so.

cable's an absolutely shameless liar. he would have killed wade for letting everyone in on his secret if he'd still been in the past once wade was done flagellating the timeline. (wade's murderous dimension hopping was a reference to the "deadpool kills" books where he murders the other characters, his other selves, and whole universes. that deadpool is called "red", which vanessa used as a nickname after his world tour and the final time in the afterlife.)

[throne-for-queens]

I don’t really think it’s fair to label him a liar for what he said on Logan’s podcast. Aren’t you not supposed to tell people until after the first trimester? Maybe that time hadn’t passed yet. Also it may be a high risk pregnancy so they wanted to wait even longer before telling people. Seems overboard to question his integrity because of that. Especially because Logan seemed to use that as a segue into asking him advice for when his daughter is born.

Also very doubtful they were even aware of that article to request it to be taken down. It was released 2 months ago and no one has even said anything about it 😂 Plus it doesn’t seem like a credible news source. Could have been very easy to pick up on the rumors going on and embellish a few details and hit post.

There are many factors that could explain why he chose not to be completely honest. Each of these reasons holds validity, but just as Halle Bailey lied about her situation regarding pregnancy, I find myself viewing Colson in a similar light. This isn’t the first instance where he has been dishonest, and it leads me to believe that much of this could have been avoided. While I still see him as a genuinely nice person, he has still (potentially) lied, whether it was justified or not. I get it, pregnancy is personal, and she miscarried before so they're probably keeping quiet. I can understand why people, especially in his position, might opt to keep it private. However, I must admit that if I find out he did lie, I'll have a hard time believing him for anything after, and that’s just how I feel. I don’t intend to act as the truth police, but I will always carry that doubt with me when he he says something after.

Regarding the article, it may seem trivial to him, and he likely doesn’t give it much thought. But, there have been other instances where celebrities have openly discussed their relationships, and he has remained silent until he’s in front of a microphone. It seems he prefers to control the narrative on his own terms, which is understandable, but it raises questions when he chooses to address less important things like responding to dumb tweets. It’s also weird how he will go through great lengths to ask fan pages to remove photos or request that people refrain from posting pictures on social media, especially when the articles themselves are the ones shaping the narrative.

[whispering-about-the-tmnt]

9 and 11 NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO PICK FAVORITES BY ITERATION BWUAHAHAH! XD

Seriously keep up the amazing work, big fan!

*hugs you*

9 - If you could change one thing about TMNT, what would it be?

Probably that so much attention is paid in-canon to Raph and Leo's "rivalry", at the expense of other, different forms of tension. Now, don't get me wrong... I do like it when they have little disagreements, but the point to which it has become the central theme of so many stories just make me wanna, you know...

11 - Favorite turtle (iteration specific)?

See what you have done! You have opened the proverbial can of worms, and I will now be naming my favorites in every version of the TMNT that I have ever watched or read! Mwahaha!

*ahem* In (more or less) chronological order...

Mirage Comics - I never had much of a preference between the guys in the old comics, though Donatello always had a great appeal to me.

1987 - I totally had a crush on Donatello back in the day. He was the toy that I played with the most, and the one I chose when me and my friends were pretending to be the TMNT (which was pretty easy, since I could use a broomstick as my bo staff).

1990 - There aren't many versions where Raphael is my favorite (I mean, I always love him, but other Turtles usually appeal to me more), but I loved his journey in the first TMNT movie.

1991 - To me, Secret Of The Ooze was all about Donatello. I loved how he had an emotional stake in what was basically a silly little movie.

1993 - How could you not love cute little lovesick Michelangelo? And plus, him being all heroic and rescuing Yoshi!

TMNTA (Archie) Comics - Although Don is dear to my heart in this version, I am going to go with Michelangelo. He is a sweetheart, an artist, he likes poetry, in the future he runs an orphanage, and he is one half of the only TMNT ship I ever actually had... and also, the Blindsight storyline is, in my opinion, the best in the comic's run.

Image Comics - Although I read most of the Image comics, I am going to be honest and say that none of the Turtles really stood out to me. If I had to choose, though, it would probably be Donatello, because of all that cyborgification he went through. Poor guy.

2003 - I know, you know, we all know... Leonardo is my boy in this version! Such a ball of stress... so relatable. Don is a very close second, though!

2007 - Gotta be Donatello! The dude had so much to take care of being the de facto leader while Leo was gone.

2012 - I have to confess that I have not watched enough of this series to develop an opinion, but on behalf of my 12-year-old daughter, I am compelled to say Michelangelo!

2014 - In the first Bay movie, Donatello really shined for me. His nerdy badassery stole my heart.

2016 - While I also really liked Don in the second Bay movie, Michelangelo was my primary focus. How he went back and forth between being the goofy goober and his heartbreak at being perceived as a monster was fascinating to watch.

2018 - Again, I have not watched much of Rise, but based on the movie alone (which I did watch, several times), I would like to say this is another instance where Raphael stood out to me... though it was really hard to choose between him and Leo!

Batman Vs. TMNT (movie) - I loved the way Leonardo was portrayed in this one! His primary fear of failing his brothers was both palpable and understandable, and his fight with Ra's al Ghul is one of my favorite TMNT battles of all time ("I'm sixteen, and I learned this from a rat!")

2024 - Baby... baby boy Leonardo... he needs a hug so bad!

If an iteration isn't listed, then assume I haven't read or watched it enough to form an opinion! Yes, this includes IDW (the concept doesn't appeal to me, for some reason), and The Last Ronan (my heart can't take that)... and although I did watch some of The Next Mutation back in the day, I can't actually remember any of it.

[finnritter]

I just saw the ask game (if you are still doing it) so of COURSE I have to ask for Turgon!!

Ask Game:

Thank youu!! I always love to talk about him so this came super easy to me. Also huge thank you @swanmaids, who requested him as well <3

Turgon

one aspect about them i love

Except for “everything”? No, I mean, I adore him and his complexity and his contradiction, and how sad he makes me, but mostly I love his whole theme of homesickness and his general love for places. Obviously a lot of that is my personal interpretation that goes deeper than what the actual text says, but he is explicitely stated to be so homesick for a city that be built a whole new one as a memorial. That’s some dedication. And surely, everyone following the Flight of the Noldor must have missed Aman a lot, that goes without saying, so this mention of him missing Tirion so much makes me imagine that he is the type of person who really builds his sense of safety and identity around the places he lives in. For many people, home is where some of their most important belongings are, or where they can be around their family and friends, but I think that Turgon feels most at home when he knows the town or city he lives in like the back of his own hand. He has a great understanding of architecture and city planning and so he mostly understands why buildings are designed the way they are, what the benefits or certain street arrangements are, why certain landmarks are placed where they are. He knew Tirion inside out and that familiarity was very important for him to feel safe and at home. Vinyamar was a quick built, mostly to have a settlement other than tents (he hated the tents s o much.) and he did plan on expanding it, and finding a style that better suited the mingling of Noldorin and Sindarin culture. When he found the Hidden Valley and knew that he could design a city from scratch there, without being pressed for time that much, he was very methodical about it. The idea was “re-design of Tirion, but better suited for my people’s needs and also fit for the natural landscape it’s being placed in”. This was, in that regard, a total success.

(I just realised how much this has drifted off into basically just headcanons, whoops. But I do really love the homesickness-theme, it brings some a bit more innovative character motivations with it which are very interesting to me.)

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

While I do think many people, if they like him or not, depict him as a pretty layered and complicated character, I do still see him being used as the “Anti-Russingon”-party, or even worse, the “mean uncle”, sometimes borderline abusive, to Maeglin. And I often have the feeling that this is mostly to give Fingon, the Fëanorians or Maeglin an opponent, which, fair, but it really irks me that through this he often ends up a very one-dimensional a-hole, instead of having actual reasons or motives for his actions. I mean, he definitely isn’t an easy person to be around and surely not the perfect brother or uncle, but I think that it’s unfair to just assume that he wouldn’t at least try his best, especially with his family, which he obviously cares a great deal about!

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

This is a very general personality-headcanon but it’s very dear to me, so: I hc him to be a very gentle, sensitive guy at heart. I mean, obviously he is described as bold and fiery, and he is terribly pig-headed, especially later in life. But part of the reason why he comes off as so stoic and secluded is that he is very prone to bottling up feelings he thinks he “should just get over”. He feels things very deeply, is easily hurt emotionally and takes things very personally, which makes him very caring and loyal on the one hand, but also very very badly equipped for dealing with grief or guilt – not an easy way to live your life if you’re a Noldor in the First Age.

one character i love seeing them interact with

Finrod!! I could talk for hours about how much I love their friendship and how their stories heavily parallel each other a couple of times throughout the silm, which is so interesting. They also seem like such polar opposites, but I imagine them to share a lot of their most important values and opinions, which makes them insperable despite their obvious personality differences. I would love to see what would have happened had they actually told each other about their respective dreams by Ulmo (why they didn’t tell each other is actually one of the things I can’t really wrap my mind around. They either each had a very big, important reason that was just never mentioned, or a very stupid one). A joined Middle Earth-Hidden City-architecture-project would have actually been so cool tbh. Guess it still makes for a super fun AU, though.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Elenwë! We get next to nothing about her and because she is not present for 90% of the actual plot of the Silmarillion, there isn’t even that much fan interpretation, but I love every tiny bit of what IS there. She, and her death, were huge influences on Turgon’s and Idril’s lives and I would love to know what she was like. Turgon was canonically reluctant about leaving Aman, and I think following the biggest part of his family was a big motivator. But I don’t think he would have just decided this and left, leaving the decision of following him or not (together with their daughter) to Elenwë alone. They must have talked about this. She might have even encouraged him to leave together. Idk, I just would love to see how that decisionmaking actually played out. Also, pre-darkening young couple/family fluff with Elenwë and him is so important to me!! They were the sweet, slightly nerdy next-door couple, change my mind. They pined for each other for ages and even decades after their marriage, they were both sometimes still silently stunned how they had managed to pull the best husband/wife on the continent. Absolute dorks in love, but determined to always support each other and communicate healthily as well. I need this bit of Valinor romcom fluff for my heart, okay, it’s very important to me.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

He freaked out (very quietly and inwardly, because it’s Turgon.) when he heard that Maeglin wanted to follow his host for the Nirnaeth. He also knew that he couldn’t forbid him without a) completely undermining the autonomy he gave him as one of his lords (and since Idril was staying and the house of the mole was not strictly necessary to stay for the city’s protection, he had no real reason to stay back), and b) actively trapping his nephew against his will again, this time without any good reason, which would definitely hurt him enough to create a rift between them. He came close to forbidding him to come anyway because he was terrified for him, but didn’t in the end (Idril played a part in convincing him) and Turgon was actually glad, in the end, that Maeglin would get to meet Fingon, at least. He kept Maeglin close at his side through everything, though, but made sure he didn’t feel patronised by very much relying on him as an advisor and taking in his rather out-of-the-box takes on strategy. He also did intend to talk to Maeglin afterwards and make sure he really was okay, as an uncle, not a king, but with the end of the battle being what it was, it never actually came to that.

[callmeshakespurr]

Hey, if you're requests are open could you do a Rick Flag × Male Villian Reader (fluff) idk something cute where Rick Flag ends up falling in love with Male Reader, and the feeling is mutual. Idk you can fo what you want with it. ❤

Rick Flag x Male Reader

Requested: yes

Category: fluff, just a little bit of angst

Warnings: slight torture (?), i mention a knife like,, once

Note: I haven’t watched Suicide Squad in some time, so this could’ve turned out just the tiniest bit yandere, I hope you don’t mind! Also- I kinda struggled with this cause its my first time writing an actual one shot, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways (:

Tysm for requesting, hope you enjoy it <3

“Where is he?”, Amanda Waller called out as she walked down the hallway, towards the high security room you were currently kept in — Colonal Richard ‘Rick’ Flag not far behind her.

Her call grabbed the attention of the two guards, who stood in front of your cell.

“Is he in there?”, Amanda asked again, approaching the door with fast steps. One of the guards nodded and opened the thick metal door to let the director and the colonel in.

Amanda Waller had tried to get her hands on you for almost five years now, after you first made an apperiance in a club, killing two people. After that, several assassinations followed. Nobody knew who you exactly were, what you looked like, who you worked for; you were like a shadow — what people then came to call you, Shadow.

The major reason of why nobody could get a hold of you even in the slightest bit, was because you always vanished before anybody could even spot you.

After two years of not being able to catch you, the police gave up on further investigation in your cases. Amanda didn’t break so easily though. She wanted you in one of those cells she kept so many freaks in already, and she wasn’t going to give up until she had you sitting behind one of those metal doors, unable to escape her.

After all these years of going after you, she did manage to find out two major things about you. Why you always managed to escape without anyone catching a glimpse of you, and what your weakness was.

All these things led to the present situation.

You sat in a dark room, the only light source being a small lamp, dangling from the ceiling. Your ankles were tightly cuffed to the chair you were sitting on, on your wrists and neck you felt something cold and heavy, which seemed to send small electric shocks through your body every few seconds.

You weren’t sure where you exactly were, since you passed out before they got you. Hell, you didn’t even know who ‘they’ were.

You closed your eyes, trying to concentrate on your thoughts, which was not as easy as you hoped it would be. To say that you were in pain was an understatement. The electricity flowing through your body kept you from thinking straight, and send a wave of pure pain through your limbs with every shock you got.

A female voice ripped you from your trance, and you slowly opened your eyes again, head still hanging low. You knew that voice and you knew that you didn’t stand a chance anymore.

“Your powers won’t work anymore, unless i allow you to use them, so don’t even try.”, that voice belonged to none other than Amanda Waller, probably the only person on this planet you actually feared. You were never scared of what her minions could do to you, no. You were scared of what she could do to you if she ever managed to get you — which almost happened on several occasions.

You clenched your fists, trying to ignore the pain that came over you again, as you frantically tried to somehow sort your thoughts and find a way out of this, but nothing seemed to work. There was no way out of this. There was no escaping this. The feeling of helplessness washed over you, a feeling you didn’t like at all.

“You’re Y/N L/N, you’re a teleporter, thats how you managed to always vanish before the police got to the crime scene”, Amanda spoke, watching you as you sat there on the chair, staring at the ground, unable to move a single muscle. “It took me some time, but i managed to figure out how to block your powers”, she continued, taking slow steps towards you “Teleporters are extremely sensitive to electricity, some mightve even already died due to the constant pain if they were in your place.” She stopped right in front of you, looking down at your slumped figure, the only thing restraining you from falling over being the thick metallic handcuffs that kept your hands tied behind the chair.

Amanda grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at her. Your sight was blurry and it cost you a lot of strength to even keep your eyes open, but you did manage to make out the silhouette of a rather tall person standing at the entrance of the cell, watching the whole scene, before your focus was back on the woman in front of you. “You’re actually a very pretty boy, Y/N, and very smart too, it’s a shame that you decided to end up like this.”, she said, before letting your face go. “Rick, take him to get the injection, then get his things and introduce him to the team. After that, you can take him to his provided cell.”

The man standing at the door — Rick, you assumed — made his way towards you, as Waller left the room, leaving you to the colonel.

Rick helped you out of the cuffs, that kept you strapped to the chair. Looking at you, he almost felt bad, you looked so drained and helpless. He had never exactly agreed with anything Amanda Waller did, but seeing what just a few hours under her control did with you was another level of not agreeing with something she did.

“Can you stand?”, the colonel asked and you nodded, slowly rising from the chair. Your legs wobbled beneath your weight and you instinctively grabbed onto whats next to you, which just so happened to be Ricks Arm.

After making sure you had gathered enough strength, he began to walk with you towards the door.

time skip

It’s been a little over a week now since they’ve brought you here — you think. Every day was the same. Sitting on the cold floor of your cell, staring at the camera in the corner of your ceiling, some guard bringing you food, you not eating it, some guard taking it away again and reporting everything to someone, more staring at the camera, someone bringing you food again, you not eating it again, the guard taking it away again and reporting everything, all over again, everyday.

The only slightest bit good and entertaining thing was the colonel — Rick Flag, as you learned was his name — checking up on you every now and then when he didn’t have anything better to do. You didn’t quite understand why Rick was making efforts to look after you, just for you to not answer his questions anyways, but you appreciated it. It made everything a little more bearable.

Of course, you were one of the bad guys, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a life outside of assassinations.

When you weren’t working for other bad guys, you loved to just sit in your apartment and read, you loved to go onto high buildings and watch over the city. You dreamed of leaving everything behind and exploring the world someday. You worked at your favourite coffee shop, hell you even had a cat. The thought of your only friend being probably already dead or suffering made you sad, but what could you do about it?

Sometimes, you wish you hadn’t picked the path you were on, but looking back at the time you chose to work for the bad guys, you didn’t really have a choice.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted, when you heard the door to your cell open. Hoping it would be Rick, you looked up, your eyes only half open from the lack of strength you had. What you did not expect was to see Amanda Waller standing in front of you, Rick Flag behind her.

“Stand up”, the woman demanded. You listened, as it was of no use to resist her orders. You slowly got up on your feet, which didn’t last long, since you almost immediately fell over, landing painfully hard on your knees. To your suprise, Rick immediately rushed to your side, helping you stand up again.

“I don’t need him on missions like this”, Waller spoke as she watched you lean onto Rick for support. “Take him to the base, the council and I will be waiting there in the meeting room for him.” With that, Waller left again.

The way to the car wasn’t long, but with you almost not being able to stand on you own, let alone walk on your own, it took a little longer, which only fueled your anxiety. The ride to the base was even worse though, since nobody talked and you had five guards sitting around you.

Finally arriving at the door of the meeting room, which was located in the base, the two guards standing in front of it immediately opened the door as soon as they saw the colonel.

The room was quiet at an instance, when you stepped a food inside, Rick following very close behind you — just in case something should happen.

Amanda Waller stood in front of a group of suit wearing men who all sat at one big round table, most likely discussing something. She gestured you to come next to her, to which you complied.

“And who is this now, Director Waller? A new addition to your group of- freaks?”, asked one of the men as he looked you up and down, probably doubting that someone like you could be much of an good asset.

“This, Gentlemen,”, she grabbed your arm and moved you a little forward, making you almost tumble “is Y/N L/N or ‘Shadow’, he was an assassin for almost five years now, working for several other bad guys. Nobody got a hold of him till now due to his teleporting ability. He has over a hundred confirmed kills and not once did anyone ever get near him. I’m using these electric cuffs”, she grabbed your arm again and lifted it up to present the metal cuff, which was secured around your arm “to block his powers, which means he cannot teleport, as long as the electric shocks are on full power. As soon as I turn down the power a little, he can use his power, it is more draining and limited to a certain radius, but it works. I have him under full control and I want him on the team.” Murmurs broke out between the people in the room, as soon as she finished.

“I’m sorry, director, but do you really think it’s a good idea to put another- another misfit on that team? They’re bad guys and will always stay bad guys, and their freaky abilities make them even more dangerous.”, one of the men in suits spoke.

“As I said, I have him under full control, gentlemen. Let me demonstrate.”, Amanda spoke, turning to you, as the people sitting at the table sat back.

Waller took out some kind of remote and tapped on something. First your body tensed due to all the stress and pain you were under at the moment, but as soon as Amanda tapped on the remote, the electric shocks suddenly weren’t as intense as they were before, and your whole body relaxed, your eyes almost watering due to the wave of relief washing over you.

Rick was more than tense while watched the whole situation, only realizing in how much pain you actually were when Waller turned down the intensity of the electric shocks emmitting from the metallic cuffs you were wearing.

Waller looked you in the eyes with a serious expression on her face. “You disobey, you die, got that?” And suddenly you remembered the injection they gave you, when they first brought you here.

Seeing you had no other choice than obeying her, you simply gave her a small nod and looked around the room, taking in every detail. You looked at the small table in front of you, spotting a sharp knife, which you figured was put there by Amanda specifically for you in this exact situation.

With fast movements, you grabbed the knife and teleported to the other side of the room, holding the knife to one of the mens throat. Everyone in the room stiffened even more, and you heard at least three guns clicking.

Looking up, your eyes met Rick’s, before you looked over to Waller, who was already fixated on you. You slowly pressed the knife more against the man’s throat, wanting to see what Waller was going to do. The next electric shock came and you almost yelled out in pain, letting the knife fall, teleporting back to Waller and falling to your knees, clutching the metal around your neck.

Rick wanted to rush to help you, but was quickly held back by Amanda, gesturing him to wait.

“As you can see, I can control his powers however i want to, and should he disobey in any way, or should his powers bolt”, she tilted your head with her finger, than pressed onto the spot on your neck where they injected you, “he dies.”

Still staring at the ground, you swallowed harshly. You’ve never wanted to go back in time and undo all the bad things that happened so badly like in this specific moment. Maybe if you’re parents hadn’t ever found about your ability, you would still be at home, with your family, not here, being tortured by some government lady who wanted to use you as a weapon.

“There’s one more thing. I don’t need him on any mission in this shape. He needs to recover, quickly, and while doing so, I want him under Rick Flags complete supervision. It might cost a little more effort, but think about of how much use he will be for us”, Amanda said, a mischievous expression crossing her face for a few seconds, that going unnoticed by you and pretty much everyone else in the room.

time skip

Three whole months had passed. You’ve been staying with Rick ever since Amanda Waller announced that he had to fully supervise you.

The time you spent with Rick made you feel as if everything wasn’t so bad after all. Occasional talking here and there, Rick cooking something for the both of you every now and then, you almost felt normal again — weren’t there the electric cuffs reminding you of what was real every few minutes.

Over the past three months, your sleep only got worse. You got used to the constant pain by now, but the electricity didn’t only affect you physically, it also messed up your thoughts like hell. Sometimes you didn’t know where up and down was anymore, everything was all over the place inside your mind.

That was also the reason, you were up right now, in the middle of the night, sitting at the big window in your bedroom, looking over the city. You hugged your knees tightly to your chest, and rested you chin on them, letting a few tears slip. You hadn’t cried in a long time, but you were just so exhausted. You were never this close to giving up than right now. Nothing seemed to ever be okay again, you couldn’t do anything but accept your fate.

Being to entangled in your own thoughts, you didn’t hear your bedroom door open.

It didn’t take Rick a long time to spot you in your place at the window. He just came home from a mission that Amanda Waller had wanted you on, but Rick insisted on giving you a little more time to deal with everything.

The tall man closed the door as quietly as he could behind him, which seemed to not be quiet enough, since you jumped slightly at the noise, quickly standing up and turning around. Rick gave you an apologetic look, before slowly walking towards you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked, I just wanted to check up on you and see if you’re alright-“ “It’s fine, I’m fine”, you interrupted him, wiping your tears quickly, taking a deep breath.

Rick frowned, he had never seen you cry before. He cared too much for you and he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself. Stopping in front of you, he looked down at you, only for his eyes to meet yours. For a moment, you both got lost in each others eyes, before you ripped your gaze away, looking to the side.

“Do you want anything else from me?”, you asked shakily, getting a little nervous with his burning stare on you.

“I actually do, yes-“, he hesitated for a moment. You looked up at him with a questioning expression. “Close your eyes”, you complied, closing your eyes slightly, one hand moving to hold onto Rick’s shirt so you didn’t lose your balance. You felt him lean down slightly, till you could fell his warm breath on your cheek. You surpressed a shiver, as he carefully tilted your head.

Now, you didn’t really know what to expect; you and Rick had gotten closer but you weren’t sure, if there were actual romantic feelings, or if he just pitied you, so a kiss wasn’t exactly what you expected. But you definitely would’ve expected it more than what happened next.

A small ‘click’ echoed through the dark room, the next thing you knew was, that all the pain suddenly disappeared. Your eyes watered when you felt Rick’s fingers carefully removing the heavy metallic cuffs around your wrists and neco, pure relief washing over you. Your leaned your body onto Rick’s, unable to support your own weight for a few moments.

When you had finally gained control over your own body again, you moved back a few centimetres and looked up to Rick, who met your confused eyes. “I couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain any longer, so I triedmy best to convince her and I’d say I’m lucky that she trusts me with you.”, the colonel smiled a little, raising a hand to softly carress your cheek. Your eyes widened. He quickly removed his hand again and apologized, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Rick took a step back, still being careful so you didn’t lose balance again, “I should go, and you should sleep, you need to be well rested and-“

You were fast to interrupt him by taking a quick step towards him, getting a little on your tiptoes, before pressing a small kiss to Rick’s lips. You carefully looked him in the eyes again, “I don’t know either, but it just felt like the right thing to do.”

It took the man a few seconds to process what just happened, but when he did, he was quick to kiss you again, his soft lips over yours, moving slowly, as you kissed back. He put his hands on your waist, while you locked yours behind his neck. You kissed for a few moments, before the both of you had to breathe again. “Thank you”, you whispered against Rick’s lips, before receiving another small peck. “Sleep with me tonight?”, he asked quietly, getting lost in your eyes again. You gave him a small nod, allowing him to pick you up and carry you to his room, both of you smiling as you fell onto the mattress.

[izusun]

*hands you an AU dump to hoard like a little goblin handing a small coin to a dragon*

OKAY so basically: after the doctor's visit where Izuku learns he's quirkless (I hc that they went when he was about five n' a half), Inko does a little bit of research on quirks and more specifically on her son's notebooks, learns that he's even more brilliant at quirk analysis than she originally suspected, and (after looking at some not great quirkless statistics) she instead informs Izuku that no, he's had a quirk all along! It's an analysis quirk!

So she updates the quirk registry, and Izuku goes through his life believing he has an analysis quirk, albeit teased for being a late bloomer, but he still can't shake the insecurity being quirkless for that one and a half year gave him.

He does research on all sorts of things, hacking, knife throwing, first aid, and building his own support gear and takes to all of it like a duck to water. He also does research on UA's policy for support gear in the entrance exam (cause surely they've gotta have a policy for non-offensive quirks like Koda and Hagakure) and finds that he can take one with him if he builds it himself. He goes fuckin bonkers.

Anyways: he trains with Katsuki, cause they're relationship is pretty good since Izuku has a 'quirk.' They both demolish the entrance exam. (Also Izuku kinda swears a lot because Katsuki rubs off on him)

Aizawa doesn't notice a goddamn thing is amiss until the battle trials on the second day (he decides to shadow All Might that day), where when he was using his quirk to silence his students while Izuku was rambling, he just didn't stop, as if he didn't notice anything was wrong. It happens again during the USJ.

So at some point during the sports festival, Nedzu (who is now intrigued because of Aizawa's complaining) invites Izuku into his office during a free period and lets him go ham on analysis, all while Aizawa is secretly there erasing Izuku's 'quirk.' Nedzu invites Izuku to be his personal student (making Aizawa go grey), he says yes, and then Nedzu drops the absolute BOMBSHELL that Izuku is actually quirkless. Cue an existential crisis.

(Also Izuku gets captured at the training camp alongside Katsuki because of his "analysis quirk," wonder how well that goes for him~)

- Goblin anon (sorry this one was kinda long)

GOBLIN?? DUDE???? HOLY SHIT I KNEW YOUR AUS ARE ALWAYS PHENOMENAL BUT THIS RIGHT HERE??? D U D E

i misunderstood the prompt a bit but i genuinely don’t know how to backtrack, so here you go goblin. sorry again o(TヘTo)

ok first of, inko taking on a stronger stance to support her son? love that of her. like, she doesn’t say sorry when izuku turned to look at her and cried that he can’t be like all might. instead, she took him in her arms and assures him that he will be a great hero. at first, of course half of it is lip service because she doesn’t know how to help her quirkless boy be a hero, since, you know, heroes need quirks.. (or do they)

and then she comes across a quirkless self help group which rang many many warning bells in her head. what kind of life do quirkless people live when a google research of them resulted in subsequent pages of results like how to stay safe when quirkless, or how to find jobs when quirkless, or quirkless mortality rates?

she fears for izuku, until she notices that her son’s smart. too smart for his age, but inko thought she’s just being biased. but izuku’s wit is something many people notice, for an instance, when izuku goes to the park to play and his friends’ (the few ones who stayed) parents tell her that her son’s smart for a quirkless person, she realizes that izuku’s wit is far more vast than normal.

then a thought worms into her head but wouldn’t it be bad to lie…but also, no one would be any the wiser.

further pushed by all the statistics she keeps seeing, or the lack thereof, about quirkless people, she makes the decision and pours it to izuku.

izuku who’s far smarter than his age and understood what his mom is asking from him. izuku who already saw the disparities between quirked and quirkless people at the tender age of five. izuku who knows what it means to lie about something as personal as a quirk, but realizes that it’s necessary for him to do so if he wants to live a “normal” life.

so he agrees; he tells inko that he’ll work even harder to sharpen his mind, and to keep expanding his knowledge.

when izuku’s quirk file is officially updated, he watches how his peers and teachers revert back into treating him as izuku. he regains his old friends, but he chose to drop them because he doesn’t want to surround himself with people who thought he was less for being quirkless.

katsuki stayed, surprisingly. katsuki stayed and everyday he kept bothering izuku to “get your quirk already!” katsuki stayed because he can’t fathom that the smartest boy in their class (of course not as smart as him, psshh) is quirkless. deku couldn’t be quirkless. (but if he found out that izuku, indeed, is, i wonder what would happen…)

katsuki was one of the loudest to celebrate when izuku announced that his quirk arrived.

“finally!” he screams and bothers izuku about the semantics of his quirk. he really wasn’t surprised to find out that izuku has an analysis quirk because he thought that nothing else would better be suited for izuku.

he doesn’t know that izuku pours so much of his time into learning and studying, often bypassing basics and intros to take more of the developed courses that are usually recommended for older ages. he doesn’t know that izuku is just a naturally smart kid with the ability to fill the gaps of his young mind with knowledge upon knowledge, storing and stacking them until he feels that he’s laid a sturdy foundation for his fake quirk.

then izuku began threading into different areas. he learns how to get into cyberspaces; hacking into accounts and delving more into how to access private information. he doesn’t thread too close lest he gets caught, but he learns the logistics of maneuvering around the web and burrowing in empty spaces to branch out his own. he creates and designs web algorithms for himself, just so he doesn’t trigger anyone who is looking into the web movements. he hones this and uses it to access more information.

then when he deems it enough, he turns his attention to something more tangible and something more physical. he learns other ways to be a hero; how to fight without a physical quirk, how to win against bigger opponents, how to use analysis quirk in fights.

izuku becomes more than a fake analysis quirk user; he creates it.

mental quirks are hard to describe, more so to compress, thus he creates new definitions of an analysis quirk. what used to be a silly lie is now a tangible fact that izuku believes in. because what makes a quirk? because what makes analysis a quirk? he learns these semantics (often political) and uses it to his advantage.

then he finally threads to hero analysis. at first it were classmates he analyzed; eyes running quickly at their forms and watching with great interest before calculating everything he’s seen and transversing it with the things he learned, and bridges these two facts together to create an analysis. it was a struggle at first: he didn’t know which to put emphasis on until he realizes, he doesn’t need to. he weaves them together and lets his analysis run long and watches how his hobby comes into fruition.

following his classmates are current heroes. these were more tough and more fun, and any of the information is less shared. he doesn’t tell his classmates or teachers about his analyses, only katsuki. and katsuki’s breath hitch every damn time at izuku’s talent quirk.

it is in their second year of middle school that midoriya begins to incorporate the facts with himself to create physical performances. the issues and things he learned through observing are now practiced by himself. he calculates the best way to fight with a body as petite as his, often taking examples from pro-hero hawks and other women heroes. their agilities and physicality suit izuku’s young body; he doesn’t see the merit in punching his way through things when he physically cannot.

so he learns ways to ease his muscles. he learns ballet and gymnastics; lets his muscles contort and mend themselves anew. he finds his balance and roots himself firmly, and learns to calculate his actions so he doesn’t waste his energy. katsuki doesn’t say anything, but he sees izuku’s dance and falls in love.

then in the spring of their third year of middle school, izuku learns how to build and handle weapons.

this is the easiest. izuku learns that weapons aren’t tools, but extensions of his arms and hands. they are not to be revered and not to be depended on because they can fail. instead, he learns to wield weapons as though they are parts of his bodies. he learns how to use swords and often narrowing to wooden sticks that can be picked up anywhere; he learns how to fire guns and how to hide daggers in his uniform. he learns that his body is the best weapon to use and that tools are just arsenal to help him win.

then he learns how to build them.

by summer, izuku begins reaching into UA’s servers. they are hard codes to crack, but not impossible. it takes him five days to access old entrance exam videos. the next day, the videos are snuffed and he is left to try digging deeper into UA.

he fails.

nezu must have caught onto his codes and proceeded to build walls against it.

so he slithers out. but a five minute video of last year’s entrance exam is enough for izuku because he learns two things: one, heroes must defeat villains and two, heroes must save others.

izuku prepares for this. unknowingly, katsuki is taught these same principles. katsuki would grumble and tell him that he knows what heroes must do, but izuku continues to hammer it down to him.

by the time of the UA entrance exam, izuku falls into the ease of having a fake quirk. he passes the written exam with flying colours and although it took three teachers to approve his support gears (present mic had to pull in powerloader, midnight, and hound dog to ensure that the well designed support gears are made by the hero student examinee and not by a support student examinee. majima saw the works and begged nezu to allow izuku to be his student.), izuku still succeeds and dominates the entrance exam.

when the zero pointer was released, he had flung himself towards the girl crushed by debris and yanks her out. he doesn’t waste a modified grenade to explode the zero pointer because through his calculations, doing so would not only create more collateral damage, but would also endanger the examinee in his arms because she still would be caught in the crossfire.

nezu hums in appreciation from the screening room, after all, smart minds always do think alike.

izuku gets a whopping 92 in the physical aspects of the entrance exam.

katsuki gets 85.

aizawa gleefully takes them in.

izuku thinks that no one will ever know of his and inko’s secret, but one look at nezu’s beady eyes and he knew that the stoat knew. it became a game to them, then. a game to see who else would realize.

and while izuku is smart, he doesn’t realize that nezu has basically taken him as his personal student the moment he and izuku had created a bet.

it takes two months for aizawa to figure things out. surprisingly, he is the only one to do so and he only realizes due to the many untimely attacks of LoV.

——

how angst would it be if katsuki realizes that izuku’s always been quirkless during their captivity in the LoV’s hideout.

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[veronavillequiltingbee]

reflections and ramblings (re. pleasantsims shenanigans)

tbh I wasn't around during the time the whole deal with PS blew up so I didn't get to witness the whole fallout, but as someone with a relatively large platform in the community (not as large as Cindy's, but still) who has been involved in run-ins with teenagers in this community myself, I have my thoughts about this whole situation.

will put the rest under the cut as it's quite long.

Over the past couple of years, I had involved myself in a few instances of "sims drama". I won't rehash every single detail about it because I don't feel that I need to in order to get the point + it should be relatively easy to search through my old blog.

On one end, I get why it's devastating for Cindy. Simming isn't just merely a hobby for her, but also a source of income, and having the option to leave on her own terms yanked away from her isn't the best outcome in any circumstance.

She's also right that the mob can be very vicious. Unfortunately, with the state of online discussion and discourse, it's really hard to see the nuances of a situation without multiple parties getting the pitchforks out and insisting that they're right and others are wrong.

This is why I stopped making public comments about everything I read or hear about online. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles and only say your piece if you're in the right headspace to do so and you feel that it brings something to the table.

I also question the motivations behind why the screenshots were exposed in the first place. When used correctly, the show of hands can serve as a warning for people, especially when a person has a documented history of abuse and there's a risk of things repeating itself to other people.

Unfotunately, they can also be used as part of a smear campaign against someone and can backfire on the one who is showing the receipts. This is something I learned the very hard way.

All that's just one part of the equation. There's another side to this:

This whole situation also revealed an ongoing pattern - one where the people involved choose to evade recognizing the role they play on why events turned out the way they did.

Sure, it's the mods that bullied the person and mocked their appearance, but what role did everyone else play? What choices did Cindy and the mod team back then make to encourage an environment that this was okay at any point?

Making mistakes and bad calls of judgment is part of being a human being. What matters more, however, is how we handle being in the wrong.

I get it, It's easier to outsource, whether avoiding the topic outright, blaming other people, or projecting, than sitting with the discomfort of dealing with the fallout. That's what feels comfortable and easy at the moment.

Cindy could've chosen to handle this situation with grace, recognize her role in the situation, apologize, and make amends with the people involved and the community at large for her role in this. From experience, this is much easier said than done, but is a necessary step not just to rehabilitate your own reputation (if you care about it, and let's face it many of us do), but also for your own sake as well.

Instead, she chose to create a pity party and bail out, yet again.

This is a messy situation for everyone involved. I wish it didn't end this way, but alas that's how the events transpired and I just hope moving forward that Cindy gets an opportunity to look back with a clearer eye and come back or contribute in other ways.

[cringelordlikesplaz]

A Thousand Stolen Moments

aw yea, another fanfic, featuring the one, the only, PlasDad. Takes place in the Terrifics run, some time after Luke Joins the party. A

Characters: Plastic Man, Phantom Girl

Warnings: Attempted angst? Fluff. also crying. Also you probably need context for... all of this, go read The Terrifics if you haven’t already. If you have, dive right on in.

The night air was chilly. Not quite cold, but not temperate either. A breeze would throw itself past every now and again, but Linnya couldn't care less. She chose to be intangible, in that moment, so the wind couldn't touch her anyway.

Her breathing came out harsh but quiet. She knew the chances of anyone else in the building hearing her were abysmal, but some sort of paranoia kept her silent. This wasn't anyone's problem but hers, after all.

Nothing had felt right after she came home. Not her old home, not her new home, not anywhere. Well, maybe that was exaggerating. Sometimes, things did feel okay. More than okay, in fact. Times where she could take in the sun and the sky and the fresh air and be filled with so much joy she might burst.

Linnya was very, very glad to be alive.

But sometimes... she wasn't.

It was hard to describe, the clinging loneliness that hung odd her mind like a shroud. She loved her friends, her new family she had found, but sometimes they were too much. The city, the planet, the noise, it was all too much.

And it wasn't their fault, she knew. It was all in her head, these lingering ghosts of a nightmare long passed. But no matter how many times she told herself this, it never seemed to stick.

(A part of her screams; she needs to go back, back to the quiet and the isolation and the never-ending despair. At least it made sense, then. No confusion or fear, the simple pain was easier to handle than all these complicated feelings. But that part of her scares her more than anything else, and she desperately tries to drown it out.)

She was locked in this loop of wanting and wanting and never being able to settle. Her skin didn't fit right anymore, not around all these people, the ones who knew her and the ones who didn't. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before, before the Dark Matter Universe, but with all the good things she had gotten when she was set free. She wants a world where both her parents were alive and weren't old and they both still loved her and with Michael and Rex and Patrick and Luke there too. 

She wanted to go on adventures but not be haunted by the feeling it could slip from her grasp at any moment. 

She just wanted to feel okay.

A blanket was abruptly dropped through her.

"Oops, looks like that plan was a bust." 

She turned in the air, and was greeted with the sight of Plastic Man, or rather Patrick O'Brian, swathed in a bathrobe and holding a steaming mug in one hand. His hair was ruffled, an odd thing to see when she was so used to seeing it slicked back. His goggles, which he almost always wore, were nowhere to be found. He was grinning, but it was clear he was tired, and the smile was crooked and didn't hide the bags under his eyes.

"Mornin' bud, what're you doing out here?" He said, taking a seat next to her on the cement steps. She wasn't actually sitting on the steps, rather floating an inch above them, but she didn't think that mattered too much in this instance. 

She glanced at the blanket that had fallen through her and fallen to the ground.

"You should pick that up. I grabbed it fresh out of the dryers; it should still be warm." He said.

Carefully, Linnya became solid and draped the blanket over her shoulders. And it was true- it was still cozy and warm.

"Thanks," She said, her voice quieter than intended.

"Here," Patrick pressed the mug into her hands.

"Hot chocolate?" She asked, finally looking inside the mug.

"Yup. It looked like you needed it." He said.

"Oh- I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"What? No, I was coming down to get food. I saw you outside and figured, 'Hey, she looks like she needs a warm blanket and some hot cocoa.' And here we are." He said. 

She swallowed, "Oh,"

"You okay?" Patrick asked.

"...Yeah,"

"That doesn't sound very convincing. We need to work on your lying." He said.

Despite her mood, she managed to crack a smile.

"Sorry," She said.

"Don't be sorry. You haven't even done anything." He said, gently bumping their shoulders together. The contact was appreciated more than he could ever know.

They sat in silence for a while, looking up at the starry sky. The sounds of the city were far away, like some other world beyond their bubble in time.

"...You wanna talk about it?" Patrick said at last.

Before she could answer he was speaking again, "It doesn't have to be with me, of course! Rex or T are good too, or we could get you a professional-"

"No, no, it's alright. I... I wanna talk now. If that's alright." She said.

He immediately shut his mouth.

"I- I just-" Linnya felt nonexistent water choke her throat. It bubbled up and up and up and began to spill out from her eyes.

She buried her face in her hands, strangled sobs escaping her.

A hesitant hand was placed on her back, quickly becoming more confident and soon she found herself tucked into Patrick's arms, crying on his robe, mug forgotten on the stairs.

She clung to him, because he was there, and he was real, and he was warm and nice and smelled like chocolate and he was muttering reassurances to her she could barely make out.

"I-" She hiccupped, "I was gone for so long-"

"I know, I know, it's not fair, you're okay, let it out," He soothed.

"And I'm never getting- I'm never getting those years back- I'm-" Linnya's words became gargled as she broke down into another sobbing fit.

She wasn't sure how long she cried. She knew it was long enough that the stars began to dim and light began to creep over the horizon.

When she finally got control over her breathing, her hot chocolate was cold chocolate.

"...Sorry," She said, wiping her face and nose.

"What did I say? You didn't do anything. You're all good in my book, kiddo." Patrick said, grinning.

She smiled, watery but genuine, "Thanks, Plas."

"No problem." He grinned and ruffled her hair, causing one of her hair pins to come loose.

She grinned back, and reached up to fix her hair.

"No, but, seriously. Thank you. I know you didn't have to sit here and listen to me cry." She said.

"Psh, yeah I did. What are teammates for?" Patrick said, "Besides, I would have killed for a shoulder to cry on when I came back, it makes sense to offer one to you."

She smiled, her head tilted just an inch to the side, wondering. Did he mean the Dark Matter Universe?

"C'mon. Let's go make some grub. I was gonna make something new today." He said, standing.

"Is it breakfast food?" She said, rising to follow him.

"Haha! No. It's dessert. Don't tell Rex." He said, winking at her before abruptly transforming into his usual outfit, goggles and all.

They went inside, the cup of cold cocoa left out in the quickly warming air.

[thevagabondsbride-blog]

Part two - Packing for the long trip

If you don’t already have a suitcase, choose carefully! One friend had her suitcase burst open, another had one wheel break. Two big, hard to carry, maneuver and stow, too small you can’t take what you need. There are so many types of suitcase out there, you have to choose which one is right for you.

Start looking on Amazon, you don’t have to buy it from Amazon, but it’s a great place to research. See what is out there, what do other people think? Does it come in the colors you want? Wheels / no wheels? How big. Soft or hard? Whatever you pick, don’t go cheap. Thrifty is always good, but this is one of those times when quality will tell over time.

One more important point, the heavier the suitcase is, the less you can put in it. Airlines have weight limits, and there will be times when you will have to carry it, even if it has wheels (cobblestones will wreck havoc on your wheels for instance).

My Vagabond and I have been traveling together for over 40 years. Back in 1984, he did the research and we bought our first set of EAGLE CREEK suitcases. Note: I am not sponsored but would gladly do commercials for this company. Out first EAGLE CREEK bags are a two piece set. The small bag could be secured easily to the bigger and go through as one, or used as a separate day bag, carry on. They are heavy duty fabric (we chose dark Blu so dirt doesn’t show easily). The big bags also have straps that can come out so it can be a backpack or shoulder carry as well. At some point after many miles, mine developed a minor zipper issue. Customer service was wonderful, we sent it off, they fixed it and got it right back to us. Don’t have any pictures with me, but these things are amazing. Did you notice this is all in present tense? We still have them and use them in the van (why do we need suitcases in the van? That’s yet another story).

In 2010, my Vagabond took me on a trip to Rome, Italy. Oh my! I love that place! We had many wonderful adventures, great food, took too many photos and decided as we are getting older, we want wheels. Once again my Vagabond to the rescue. He spent lots of time researching bags not just EAGLE CREEK. What did we end up with, you guessed it, EAGLE CREEK. Our current bags have all the features of the originals, with the addition of wheels and retractable handles.

Once you obtain your suitcase, how do you pack it? Lay everything out next to the suitcase. Packing cubes are helpful if you have them. In the bad old days, I used large ziplock bags. Roll your clothes they take less space and usually look nicer when you take them out. If your using zip locks, sit on the bag before you close it. Get as much air out as you can. Packing cubes? Fill them up as much as you can. I have three, one large and two smaller, I am just using the smaller cubes this time.

The first picture shows my bottom layer, I moved the jeans and added my tennis shoes initially as I started out wearing hiking boots. They were not practical, we cheated a little and sent a box back. Take advantage of any odd shaped spaces. I line the bottom of my suitcase between the handle rails, with small things. Do you see the clear bag? It’s waterproof so liquids go in there. I always put it on the end that will be on the bottom when the suitcase is standing on its wheels. The little black pouch at the front and red plush bag contain charge and plug adapters as well as some duplicate cables and the charger for my camera battery. Fill up any shoes, whether it’s that big jar of vitamins or just extra socks, don’t waste any space. Alcohol wipes are very handy and yes, I have tea.

The red bag in the second layer opens out and hangs up with my toiletries. I will admit to sticking other stuff in. We each have one of these and use them in the van as well. The two bigger tan pouches contain beads and a few bead working tools (this is also where I put my mini sewing kit). The smaller tan pouch has whatever doesn’t have another place. The Teal green and grey thing is my down vest. You can see my packing cubes. Once you have everything in, cinch those straps tight, that’s what they are there for. Close your suitcase carefully. Make sure zippers meet ahead of the zipper pull. Don’t be tempted to use the zipper to force it, you may be sad later.

Once you have your final pack and the suitcase is closed (hopefully a few days before you leave), open it back up and take a picture, remove a layer and take another picture, do this till you get to the bottom. No I don’t imagine you will want to write a blog post just like this one, the pictures will simplify repacking as you travel ( if you remember to tag them so you can find them later….)

One more picture, this is my portable clothesline. I mentioned it the other day. Easy to attach anywhere and you just open a twist to hang whatever, no clothes pins required.

Any questions so far class? Would you like to see individual pictures of anything? Next post in this series will probably be on traveling with electronics.

Have an awesome day, and if you read this far, thank you. Let me know what you think

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

hi can i please request one where levi's s/o is sort of like him in personality but just melts whenever theres a baby. like she'll see a baby in town and will go from silent and moody to the heart eyes emoji but a person, or she'll babysit her neice or nephew or cousin and will be just so loving and bubbly? like its obvious that she wants to be a mum but she never brings it up because she doesnt think he wants kids and eventually they get pregnant + his reaction? sorry if this is too much (1/2)

ΑΝΟΟΟΟΝ IM BLUSHING THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really loved this request and it inspired me so I pushed before others because I had to get it out of my system. I hope you like this. It's super duper long also👉👈

Warnings: uhh pregnancy, mentions of anxiety

Tags: fluff, domestic Levi, pregnancy, modern au

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Baby Fever

Your heartbeat grew louder with each passing second as Mike abused the door with one too many knocks. You didn't know if you could talk, or breath or do anything other than vomiting though this time from the anxiety building at the pits of your stomach and not due to your very recent event of morning sickness.

"Are you alright in there?"

You choke on your own voice as you try to huff a single response. It's not really up to your judgement of you're alright or not but rather in the small white object's that rests between the thumbs and pointer fingers of each of your hands. You contemplate if there's a way to not raise any more suspicion to the blond male, you're at his house for all that matters. Nanaba called you to take care of their their twins and you happily complied to your half sister's pleas because Mike had a very important job interview. Life had taken a toll on him lately, they couldn't afford a babysitter and he was just recently fired due to his company having to cut down expenses thanks to the pandemic. Amidst this pandemonium he had to find a way to provide for his family and help Nanaba with at least a short monthly salary. So babysitting your beloved niece and nephew wasn't much of a problem. Not until now.

At first it hadn't bothered you that your period was late, you had accepted the pcos lifestyle the hard way ever since you first got it. You would track down your period in hopes you could ever predict when it would come again but it always seemed to surprise you. Sometimes it would come in a months notice only to take four months to do a full circle. At twenty three, this was the most positive outturn as a resolution to your problem. Levi was pushing you to eat healthy and exercise to get a better grip of your situation, even though you knew it was in vain. And thus, overall it didn't bother you that you hadn't had your period still, fatigue and breast inflammation were also common problems due to hormonal abnormalities so you chose not to pay any attention to those early signs either.

What had driven you to urge Levi to drop you off to the drugstore next to Nanaba's house though was that you've been having symptoms of morning sickness for almost a week now, that you had tried to push aside for Levi not to notice. He would quarantine you on your on your own and go stay with Erwin and Hange had he any suspicion of you being down with the stomach flu. The stomach flu though didn't feel like that and you knew, you had been through it one too many times, this was something different and yet you cursed at yourself for overthinking it. You had bought the pregnancy test as something that was supposed to turn out negative, as a positive resolution that you weren't pregnant and that you should quest for whatever it was that was making your stomach turn and twist every morning.

Upon finally opening the door in an attempt not to delay Mike who wanted to attend his interview, the blond male inspected your form with a harsh gaze. "You shouldn't push yourself if you're sick. We could call my mother to watch over Eli and Blaire."

"No." You pushed it off. "I'm fine Mike, it's probably that weird mushroom soup I ate yesterday, Levi insisted on not buying it but I didn't listen."

"I see." Mike said scrunching his nose at the process. Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well that he could even smell you lying, but he was Nanaba's childhood friend before her mother married your father and had you; you had practically grown up with the blond duo so for all you knew, even if he was certainly aware that you were lying he didn't push things further. He simply placed a hand on your shoulder, the brother like nature of his touch as assuring as one can be. "If you need anything call me, I'll answer as soon as possible, drink lots of water and don't wear yourself down."

You bore your eyes into his and nodded simply. Mike greeted the twins with reluctance and let out a sigh before fixing his suit perfectly on his shoulders. The small kids smiled bubbly in return and waved at their father enthusiastically. As soon as the door closed and their father got out of sight both children jumped on you with loud giggles. The act alone was enough to curl your lips into an upward position.

By noon you had fed and lulled the kids to sleep, earning some significant time to sink into the crevices of the feathery soft sofa before Nanaba came back from her shift. As tiring as Eli and Blaire were you enjoyed their teeny company. You didn't mind their lack of ability to form full understandable sentences yet, you loved how they didn't even try to spare a second thought on what they bubbled on about and you did your best to provoke them to speak correctly. They would open their arms for you, their tiny palms signaling you to take them into long affectionate hugs as they called a baby spoken version of your nickname and you would melt at it every single time. Everyone knew you much you loved the chubby cheeked sweethearts, as much as it contrasted with your usual demeanor. There was something that truly made you feel like the best version of yourself when you were around them.

Babies seemed to be a hot topic in your group of friends for a couple of months now, ever since you started helping Nanaba in the house before Mike got fired. Levi seemed very unbothered by the subject in a way that saddened you almost; sure, you might have talked about it in the past, being that he was a little older than you and he might have understood that you longed to be a mother one day, but that was as far as that one conversation had gone. He still had that bored, stoic gaze that slipped off of yours when you would encounter a baby in the street, whereas you would basically make heart eyes and weird grimaces to any infant he would just click his tongue and avert his gaze away, to any other direction as if he disapproved off your fondness.

That memory alone left you hollowing inside as you recalled of the two very much pink lines on the screen of the test this morning. Naturally you would check with a doctor before jumping to conclusions, there still was a chance that the test was at fault and you wanted to bet on simply that. If the case was that you were actually pregnant though things were more complicated than you wanted them to be. For instance you were still in University, for your last year at that, but you had excessive amounts of studying to get your hands on your degree and Levi was cornered and ready to be squished by his job for being a vice president, which was unfair as he worked for Erwin. You understood the situation though as Erwin was struggling to keep the company going especially through these rough rough times. There was also the fact that you were terrified of Levi asking you to put the baby down, with pcos wearing your system down you were panicking that you wouldn't have a chance to conceive a baby later on. What if this was your only chance? You've always longed to be a mother so it didn't matter that it came to you this early right?

The sound of the front door clicking open shook you off your thoughts immediately. For better or for worse it was Nanaba that had finally returned, eager to strip herself of her clothes and face mask and run to the bathroom. She offered you small greeting to which you only nodded, your tired mind ordering your eyes to find comfort at small shapes in the ceiling. You didn't know how long your sister took in the bathroom, but judging by the lack of giggling coming from the babies' room you supposed it wasn't for long.

"You want to wait for Levi to come pick you up or should I give you a ride home when Mike's back? He should be home soon!" She spoke as she poured water in a red metallic boiler.

"I'll just walk. I need some air."

Nanaba emitted a soft hum in response "Are you alright? You seem off."

"Oh no." You brushed her off "I was just thinking about what I should wear at Erwin and Hange's anniversary dinner next week, and what gift to buy Levi now that his birthday is coming."

"Good, I see, just don't stress alright?"

___

The way home was longer than you had initially remembered, whether it was for your inability to walk with a steady pace or mostly because it was already getting dark and cold. You wondered if Levi would be getting home by now as you neared the apartment complex the two of you resided in. By the looks of your illuminated window he was already home as expected of him this certain hour. It probably was one of those days when he didn't have a strict deadline to attend to, which, under normal circumstances, only meant more cuddles and kisses for you. Yet, tonight was different.

"Hey Levs" Your voice lingered in his brain the moment you stepped inside.

"Hey brat, welcome home." The kiss you left on his cheek as you hurriedly headed to the bathroom was different, off almost, and he picked up on it immediately. "Did Nanaba drop you off? I had asked Mike to come by tonight, he said he'd bring some tea leaves he bought for me."

He leaned at the frame of the door as he watched you wash every crevice of your face thoroughly, paying enough attention to the insides of your outer nasal cavity. He was pretty meticulous about hygiene and especially at times like these with a hole pandemic going on he wasn't taking any chances, you knew, plus you were kind of disgusted of germs lately yourself, you thought you finally understood where he was coming from. He took a few steps ahead, away from your body in search of a clean face towel to hand out to you when you were done. You have it to him, even if he seemed cold as stone that domestic lifestyle was mesmerizing to you.

"Thanks baby, you're the best." You half smiled.

"You good?"

At this point you wondered if you seriously we're so easy to read. You supposed you were off, but you were always off and unresponsive to many things so what exactly was it about today that made everyone know you had a conflict in your mind.

"Yeah I'm just tired, I walked here."

Levi clicked his tongue at that "Nanaba's home is very far away from here, have a shower and I'll rub your legs and feet." With eyes that never left yours Levi watched as your face lit up a little more, he gave you a tiny of a smile on return.

"You prooomise Levs?" You knew teasing with him could only lead to one thing, yet you did it shamelessly.

"Tch, of course, hurry up, I'm making pancakes with eggs and bacon."

Normally at the very sound of this particular food your eyes would water and your mouth would drool but the unresponsive nature of your expression only sent a new wave of worry through Levi's chest. As much as he had wanted to convince himself you were just tired, he couldn't, not after this reaction to your favorite snack. He decided not to push you into saying anything you didn't want to though. Maybe it was that enormous amount of notes you had to memorize for your next exams in addition to your fatigue and any hormonal altercations.

"Yeah" you trailed off "babe, about that, can we have cocktail shrimp? And maybe fried rice and fries? Pretty pretty please?"

Ah, there it was. Although it was a rare occasion for you not to be in the mood of his infamous pancakes, you could still have a few different cravings from time to time. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he proceeded your order trying to figure of where he should order from, last night's mushroom soup had messed your stomach up, that he knew, but you seemed to be fine now so in theory that should be enough to prevent him from whining out his concerns.

As he closed the door to the bathroom he hummed his favorite tune to himself, softly enough as not to disturb you with your bath. He picked up his phone from the kitchen table with ease before collapsing on the couch, there was a limit to what his body could take and he had surpassed that by far these past few months. Endless deadlines that took turns one after another and extra hours at the office had been killing him, mentally and physically, making him a little more grumpy than usual. In great addition his back ached, his fingers were sore and his mind felt like canned alphabet soup every single night. Perhaps, seeing him in this state was taking a toll on you as well; you were always so protective over him, almost like a mother to her child, despite being younger, and he if he had to, he'd admit he enjoyed it a little too much than he should have.

When you came out of the bathroom he gazed over you briefly, you were sitting before the end of the dresser, standing in front of the full body mirror, examining your form. He seemed to be puzzled by your demeanor once again. Normally, or up until yesterday, you would have immediately shot out to where he was seated at to plough into his arms with wet hair, only to slightly irritate him for getting him wet, not that he didn't enjoy to smell your fresh scent anyway, but it was a game of routine for you by now. It was almost as if you were seeking to be scolded at for not rushing to dry your hair. He always wanted you as healthy as ever.

You couldn't shake off your head how soft Levi's chest is. There probably wasn't a reason as to why he's sleeping shirtless tonight, your apartment was very warm, given that it was the start of December already, but you didn't complain. The feeling of creamy, milky soft skin, perfectly excused by any coarse hair was slowly putting you to sleep. You loved how Levi was so soft everywhere you touched, it was so unlike what the world perceived of him, maybe your baby's skin was going to be as smooth and perfect as his and not as dry and oily as yours. Of course the baby's skin was going to be soft, ugh and those little arms and legs, you couldn't lie to your self, deep down you were just a tad excited to have a baby, if it meant that it would look like Levi you wouldn't want to give up on it for the world.

"Levi, does Kenny keep baby pictures of you?"

"What?" The onyx haired male raised a brow at your inquiry but didn't give you enough time to repeat yourself before he answered. "My mother had so many pictures of me so I guess that it's natural that he has some and well there probably are a few pictures from after my mother's death, I'm not that sure."

In response, he only earned a hum.

"Tch, can I lay on your chest? I want you to play with my hair." His eyes pleaded with you in the darkness. Of course you could never say no to such thing, you loved it even more when he was the one sleeping on you. Another sentence left his lips, this time with a yawn as he shifted himself on you, cooing like a small child. "I'll call Kenny tomorrow, sleep now I know you need it."

____

Under any other circumstance you would have loved seeing everyone's dumbfounded faces stating at you as if they had seen the dead rise from their graves. You had to pinch your arms to remind yourself this was indeed serious and you shouldn't let out a single chuckle.

"Please tell me you're joking" Nanaba pleaded, placing her hand on yours in disbelief.

"I'm going to screeeeeam! Shorty can't even hold it in, ghaaaa!"

"Hange he will hear you through the restroom."

Hange blinked her eyes rapidly at the sound of that. "You haven't told him?" She immediately seemed to lose her enthusiasm, something you hadn't intended to happen, especially at such a night, but you knew you didn't have a say in other people's emotions.

"Hange he never seemed too fond of the idea, why would I complicated things for him?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way in hell he was having this. You were practically his little sister, seeing you so tormented as you were in the moment when you spoke those words ravaged his last nerve, causing anger to clench his hands into fists. He watched as you took a small bite of your food giving the rest to Eli who was comfortably sitting on your lap, tapping his little hands on the rim of your plate. Other than the fact you broke out such news to him, Nanaba Hange and Erwin and had expressed your fears on informing your significant other, you seemed quite bubbly. Children really did bring out such a soft side of you, he knew that was for sure.

"Hange" you spoke, unphased as ever "Levi's coming please stop screaming at me, i love you but it's only making me dizzy."

It felt as if a thousand pairs of eyes were burning holes through his whole body, his head, and everywhere around his personal space bubble. Levi could feel his pulse tense just a tad, Hange's unnerving gaze and her crippling smile were fixated especially on him, making his nose itchy. There was something very different in the atmosphere around him; Nanaba wasn't eating anymore, she was more fixated on her daughter than anyone else, Erwin was nervously staring between him and you and you and Mike were trying to clean Eli's hands from the food he had just touched. When the scenery wasn't something irregular, none of you dared look eachother in the eyes, beat it that Hange was staring only at him.

"Oi, what the fuck is wrong-"

"Levi, shorty! Does Eli look like he's enjoying himself in (y/n)'s arms?" Hange turned her sweetened gaze on you, making you choke on your words, you shot her an atrociously strict glare. "Remember when Nanaba gave birth? What do you think about babies? Maybe you think they smell a lot? But what about ackerbabies?"

"Way to be discreet Han, thank you!" Your lips puckered in anger as you brought your arms to cross under your chest.

"Wait what's going on shitty glasses?"

"Yada Yada shorty, you're not getting a word from me, my lips are sealed" Hange spoke and shut her eyes to emphasize the significance of her words.

You sighed in a pathetic attempt to relieve some tention of your chest. A tight knot had formed due to anxiety, fog had clouded over your brain and you were feeling so faint and exhausted that you just wanted to get it over with. You didn't mind standing there like a fish out of water after breaking the news to him, the tention in the air was in fact what was making you suffocate in your seat. With wobbly hands you pushed Eli off your lap, not caring about the moan of disagreement he made and you shot up from your seat, announcing you had to take some fresh air. Levi had to stop Nanaba mid tracks to be able to come after you, fast enough to be there when you got out.

Naturally, you stood seated at a bench that neared the restaurant. Your hands were covering your face scratching softly through your hair, probably in attempts to calm your self down. He approached you without any second thought, this time determined to know what was it with you. Your behavior these past week had been unnerving and overly concerning to say the least. Carefully he sat himself down next to you, his right arm come around your frame comfortingly while the left one came to caress underneath your cheek.

"You should probably talk to me."

Your voice came muffled from between your palms as you still hadn't dared to look him in the eye. "Levi, I'm, I'm so sorry it's just... I'm very anxious."

"I think I figured that, brat." His voice was so soothing, it felt as if he was speaking to you in the comfort of your private room, not on a bench outside a semi fancy restaurant

"You know when Hange talked about ackerbabies she uhm, she might have had a particular baby in mind."

Levi blinked erratically for a single second before his mouth, unable to compel to his brain's orders, formed the shape of an oh. Of course, in the moment it was hard to click with any other even but he attributed that to his lack of knowledge over the situation. Had he any clue or suspicion that you could be pregnant he would have been able to realise that it wasn't that your stress had been messing with your stomach every morning and that your extreme fatigue couldn't possible align with the erratically swift rhythm of your palms. Of course, of course it wasn't a thermometer that you had disposed of in the toilet, he wanted to slap himself for being so naive as to believe that. He was strict with recycling rules, you wouldn't have just straight up there s thermometer in the trash. Fuck now's not the time to think about recycling.

With the soft, chaste kiss at the top of your hair you finally decided to turn your gaze to him. Watery eyes met with an adoring grey gaze, a gaze you've never seen at this extreme before. "I love you, you know." Another kiss meant your head got to lift a little more, just to get closer to him. "I don't say it often but you don't have to worry, I'll try to tell our kid more often."

Your eyes shimmered with adoration at his words, despite the cold weather you couldn't bring yourself to feel not even a little tingle, Levi was keeping you so warm with his words. "Really? You want this?"

"Tch why wouldn't I, you thought I'd ever let you go and leave me lonely? I've always thought you knew we're sharing the same future."

Your lips attacked his in fiery passion. It was a natural reaction to his words, an ice melting kiss, a promise for the future. There were many reasons as to why you lived Levi but maybe the fact that you would have a little stoic faced baby running around your feet made you love him a little bit more.

[symphonicmetal101]

MC Struggles With Obsessive/Compulsive Behaviour

Ok, just to be clear.

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, which is why I refrain from writing "OCD" in the title. I've always known I'm a perfectionist- please be aware that there are some major differences between OCD and perfectionism, (despite what Youtube videos may say)- however I have had instances in which I have taken it too far and paid the price physically, mentally, and emotionally. Please be aware that these are all very real things that not only myself, but other people go through. I haven't had one of them in a long time, but my current circumstances make me feel like I might soon, so bear with me while I write another self-indulgent thing.

Or don't.🤷‍♀️

TW: compulsive/obsessive behaviour, a little self-deprecation as seasoning👌

Lucifer

At first, he's very happy to see that you are very organized and neat

One less thing for him to worry about

However, one day he walked past your room and saw you organizing your desk

He respected that, and continued on

The next day he passed by around the same time and saw you organizing your desk again

Odd, but perhaps one of his brothers had interfered and interrupted you, meaning you hadn't finished yesterday

It had been five days now, surely you weren't still cleaning your desk??

"MC, if my brothers bother you, you should close the door. Perhaps then you would be able to finish cleaning your desk properly. Unless you would like some direction in time management instead?"

Lucifer glanced behind you. To his surprise, your desk looked immaculate. He then saw your blushing face.

"Ah... well that's very kind of you Lucifer, however I'm afraid it's not an issue of time management or your brothers. Well, sometimes Mammon comes in and moves the pens around, so then I have to start over..."

"Start over?"

"Y-yeah." You explain your process to him, how you completely clear off your desk, to the type of cleaner you use, how many sprays, to how you like to stack your paper, to how you always have to have three paperclips to your right, and how the black pen is always in between the blue and the red.

"And when Mammon moves the pens...you start over?"

"Yeah. I do."

Lucifer has sympathy for you, put also struggles because it seems like a waste of time if he were to do it.

But he doesn't do it, and it seems to make you calm, so instead he buys you proper gloves for cleaning and a few more bottles of your cleaner

Mammon

"Come on MC, I wanna show ya something in my room."

Oh no

Nononono

You could feel yourself panicking a bit. Mammon's room was messy

Not messier than Levi's but still

But he looked really excited, so you reluctantly followed him

"TA-DA!!!"

Oh wow. His room was spotless!

"I-uh, noticed ya only seem to be comfortable in yours or Lucifer's room. It-it took a while for me to figure out why, but...whaddya think? Will it work for ya?"

He smiled at you and you could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

"It looks great! You even picked up the water bottles that were by your bed!!"

He instantly became more confident, his smile growing wider and his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Of course it looks great! Why wouldn't it?"

You gave him a withering stare

"Uh..yeah. Y'know, if ya had just told me ya didn't like it being so messy I woulda tidied up sooner. J-just make sure ya let me know if it gets too messy again. I want ya to be comfortable in more places than just your room, so my room seemed like a good idea."

His face was incredibly flushed

"Thank you Mammon. It really means a lot.

Levi

You had only been in Levi's room twice

But dear god

You really really really wanted to tidy things up for him

But you also knew what it was like to be very particular and have things "just-so"

Aksjsjshdgjak

"Hey Levi, can I make you deal?"

He took off one of his headphones to listen

"What's up?"

"This might be kinda weird. Can I take pictures of your stuff so I can reorganize and clean your room? That way if you don't like it, I'll put everything back?"

You could see confusion and slight panic that crossed his features.

"I'm sorry, I know it's weird, you don't have to say yes I-"

"Um, what exactly would you be doing?"

"Uhhh.."

He stopped his game to sit and talk with you for a bit.

"O-ok. Just that shelf is off-limits. And I'll stay in here to let you know if something isn't ok with me."

He watched in awe as you carefully rearranged his figurines by rarity as well as colour.

You crawled under his desk with velcro ties and made all the cords under there much more organized

You rearranged the pillows on his couch so that they were symmetrical on both sides, fluffing them and squishing them as you saw fit.

His manga was pretty organized, so you just straightened out the pile.

You organized his games in alphabetical order

The whole time you had been dusting stuff off as well

"There. That's better....what do you think Levi?"

"WOOOAAHH!!! I love it!! It looks really good MC!"

"Thanks for letting me do that."

"No problem...but w-why did you want to do it?"

You shrugged. "It calms me down? No, that's not quite it....I don't really now. As it is, I need to cut myself off otherwise I'll clean until I can't stand. Mind if I join you for a bit?"

He nods at you and hands you a control. As the game boots up he says, "Y-you're welcome to do that again if you need to...but that shelf is still off-limits."

You nod, grateful for his understanding.

Satan

He said he had a surprise date for you

So you followed him

To the Cat Cafe

Now, you love cats

And you love food

But the two of them together don't sit well with you

But Satan looked so eager and happy that you didn't hesitate much to go inside.

Everything was going really well until Satan asked if you wanted something to eat or drink.

You politely declined his offer, but he insisted on getting you something

You reluctantly chose a hot drink.

But as you watched the worker prepare your drink, you were horrified to see them carry a cat out from behind the counter, and then without washing their hands, snap the lid on your cup.

"Satan..I need to step outside for a bit."

He watched you in mild concern as you walked out the door and he waited for your and his order to be complete

You were pacing outside, trying to calm down.

Why did that upset me? I haven't even touched it yet. Besides, normal people don't usually care about stuff like that. And I can clean it??? Or grab another lid?? Fuck! Why am I like this?

Your train of thought was broken as Satan tapped on your shoulder, concern and curiosity apparent in his eyes.

"Are you alright? I noticed the worker didn't wash their hands after handling the cat, so I grabbed a couple lids on my way out. I was going to put it on for you, but I believe it would be best for all parties if you did it on your own."

You almost started crying as he handed you a paper towel with two lids in it.

"Why are there two?"

"Although it never particularly bothered me, I thought you may have wanted some solidarity. I can understand where you're coming from." He smiled sympathetically at you.

From that day forward, he paid extra attention to things while you were around to make sure you wohld feel comfortable. You two also managed to tackle the daunting task of properly organizing Satan's books so that you could spend more time in his otherwise clean room.

Asmo

"Darling, you look wonderful in that outfit!! And it's so hot outside, it's perfect!! I was just about to head out, do you want to join me?"

"That depends. Where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm just gonna do a little shopping. There was a cute top on sale at the mall yesterday, I just want to see if it's still there."

You told him you'd be right back.

When you got to your room you threw on a sweater, and then made sure you had your wallet and your phone.

You walked out of your bedroom, checking again, wallet, phone

As you approached Asmo, you checked again. Wallet, phone

"Are you ready to go?" You nodded and followed him out the door.

He made idle gossip with you until he noticed you were looking a little pale

"Oh my goodness, love are you alright? You should take this sweater off, you'll get much too hot!"

"I can't!" You panicked a bit, and he was caught off guard by your reaction.

"I- I'm sorry. But I use the sleeves to open doors and hold bags and stuff. I don't like touching that stuff. Even groceries are hard for me to touch, so I wash the groceries before I put them away when I get home. I enjoy shopping with you though, because you always know what kind of stuff I like just by looking at it, or feeling it for me. It's the same thing I explained before, where it's difficult for me to model the clothes for you until after they've been washed."

"Aww honey, I'm sorry. Next time I'll see if Mammon or Beel can come and help with your bags, m'kay? But you cannot stay in this sweater in weather like this. What about gloves? Would you be ok wearing gloves? I know a place where there's some really cute ones!! And I'll handle the doors for now, ok?"

You took off your sweater and tied it around your waist.

"Huh. I actually do feel a little better....thanks Asmo."

You two laughed lightly as he held open the door for the next shop.

Beel

You had waited for Beel to get out of one of his extracurriculars to walk home with him

You two were planning to eat together

However when you walked into the kitchen, you were greeted with a sink overflowing with dishes, and a sleeping Belphie on the island.

"Oh, uh, before I eat Beel, I'm going to clean that up. You go ahead though."

Belphie piped up, "Just throw what you can in the dishwasher....I'll do the rest later."

Beel looked concerned. "We were late getting home. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"Oh...uh" you contemplated lying when your stomach gave you away.

"Just eat. I'll take care of the dishes. It's my turn anyways. I'll get to it soon."

"It's not a big deal Belphie, I'll just do them."

"But you're hungry, aren't you? Just eat first? Or did I do something? Is it something I can fix? I can go if it makes you more comfortable-" Beel looked disappointed. Of course it wasn't his fault.

You shook your head. "It's not you. It's me. I just- I don't know- ugh." You felt close to tears.

How the fuck were you supposed to explain yourself?

Beel pulled you into a hug. "Hey, it's ok. You don't have to tell us what's going on, but if you do it'll make it easier for us to help you."

He let go of you enough for you to step back and wipe tears from your eyes.

"I-I don't know what it is! But whenever I know there's something to be done, especially if I can see it, I have to do it before I do anything for myself. That includes eating, getting a glass of water, even going to the bathroom! And if I find another thing to do half way through he first thing, I'll just continue to postpone the thing I need to do for myself until I'm done or I forget about it..."

Silence settled across the kitchen.

"We'll help you do the dishes so it gets done faster, then you have to eat, ok?"

You smile and nod graciously as the twins helped you feel more comfortable

Belphie

"Come cuddle with meeee."

"Belphie, I need to study, please."

Belphie pouted. He was going to cuddle with you one way or another, even if he had to annoy you into it

Only what he didn't realize what he saw as "mildly annoying" was actually triggering for you

So he started messing with the postion of things on your desk.

"Stop it Belphie, I need to study."

"Yeah? Don't let me stop you, I'm just playing with your pen jar."

"But I asked you. To. Stop."

He huffed and put the pen jar down

But then he started to mess with your three pencils you had laid out, smallest to tallest.

"Why do you need three pencils?"

"Because. Now leave them alone."

He grinned.

"Because is hardly an answer and you know it. What would happen if I just took this one?"

"BELPHIE NO!" Your voice sounded between laughter and tears, butbhe figured it was just your way of begging.

"Belphie, please? I need that!"

He just grinned as he shifted into his demon form and passed the pencil to his tail and lazily flicked it back and forth.

Until he saw your face.

"Whatever. Do what you want, I'm done dealing with you." You walked out of your room, angry tears filling your eyes.

"W-wait! Shit! No, come back! I didn't-ugh." He groaned as he picked himself up to go after you, finding you on the outside steps of HOL.

"Hey, why're you crying? It was just a pencil. I put it back."

You pulled your head out of your hands.

"Yeah, but did you put it back right?"

Belphie looked at you perplexed...right? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"Look, I'm sorry for using that tone with you. It's really hard for me to focus unless I have things a certain way. It may seem ridiculous to you, but that's just how I am. I don't know what causes it, I just know that it's a part of me. I'm working on it, but if I say stop, I need you to stop. Please."

"....okay. I'm sorry."

Masterlist

[mxchellesworld]

Helping Hand

Spencer Reid x Reader

*tw below* please read the info before the fic and proceed with caution

Request; Hey Ik that this may be super dark and feel free to skip it if you want but I was wondering if you could do a BAU! Reader where she has an eating disorder and Spencer realizes it and tries to help her through it while not alerting the team per her request. I’m not trying to romanticize eating disorders at all and I totally get it if it’s to hard

Warnings; eating disorders, mentions of throwing up, starving

a/n; this request hit me hard because these are things that i struggle with to this day. over the summer i dove into a really bad pit so many of the instances mentioned are based off of things i have done. i feel like this really helped me put something negative into a place of comfort. please know i am not trying to romanticize eating disorders or invalidate any other aspects i didn’t mention. 

if you need help please reach out to someone you trust or a professional, its not easy but i promise people are there to help :)

You didn’t know what triggered it.

That was a lie, you did. You just chose not to acknowledge it and act like everything was fine. Why place the blame on someone or something else when it was just your fault. 

Maybe it was when you noticed how much easier the girls got into dresses whenever you went shopping. JJ was easily a size 0, looking as stunning and glowing as ever in the little dresses you guys would pick out for her to try on. How she could so swiftly slide in, never having to ask to a size up or help with getting the zipper up past her back. 

Maybe it was when you did that yoga class you saw how good everyone looked. Even after the intense class the other participants came out glistening and smiling in their matching sports sets. While you on the other hand had sweat stains trailing on the neck of your old gym shirt. Why had a workout made you feel worse about yourself than you did when you started?

Then it was like every little instance was adding up. Pushing and pushing you back into old habits you thought you had outgrown. At first you got the excitement of seeing the quick progress. Within two weeks you could see the small changes. But that was mostly your mind tricking you. As the months went on then you knew the progress you were making was in more than just your head.

It felt so good walking into work and hearing the hoots of

“wow you look so good!”

“that top looks so nice on you”

“you look different now, but its a good different”

That just fueled the need to keep going. You didn’t think anyone would notice because whenever anyone would ask what your secret was you’d say “Oh I’ve been trying fasting.” or “I just workout more often.” Which wasn’t a lie but of course you couldn’t tell them to what extreme. 

You couldn’t mention how 16 hour fasts soon turned into 20 then a whole day surviving off coffee and gum. How those workouts were never for your enjoyment. How you would rack up as many sit ups as you could just to burn off any extra calories possible. 

Or how you couldn’t eat a meal normally anymore. If you weren’t counting the calories you would make that trip into the bathroom and try to get rid of the contents of your stomach.

However someone did notice - Spencer. He was your best friend and you guys used to spend everyday together. So when you started to pull away it caught him off guard. He thought that maybe he had done something to offend you. Then when he had asked you about it and you shrugged it off he was thrown for a loop. 

Then he really saw it. After your talk you started hanging out with him again but he noticed you always refused any outings where food was involved. Even then he noticed that you would pick around your food, never fully finishing the meals you used to one love. 

Or at work instead of going down to the food truck for lunch, you would decline saying you weren’t hungry or that you had a big breakfast. 

How during cases you would get dizzy spells and be tired more often. He used to have to keep up with you and Morgan always having bursts of energy out there but now he was keeping an eye out to make sure you didn’t pass out on the field. 

He knew he had to say something when he noticed the tears in your eyes while out at dinner with the team. You had picked out a small salad, tossing the green leaves around the plate and taking minimal bites. Then desert came and you shared a few bites of chocolate cake with Emily. Shortly after you had excused yourself to the restroom, coming back a few minutes later with your lipstick gone and watery eyes. He knew what you did in there. 

At first he was upset with himself for not noticing sooner. He knew what it was like to go through a tough time without support and he didn’t want his best friend to have to deal with something on their own. He would do anything he could to try and help. 

When walking out of the restaurant he came up to you, “Hey Y/n, do you want me to take you home so you don’t have to get on the metro?”

“Yeah Spence that’d be great thank you,” you said smiling at him and walking to his car. 

The ride to your house was spent listening to music. He let you play with the radio, seeing how you perked up to the music, emitting a happiness he hadn’t seen on you in a while. 

Arriving at your apartment you invited him in to watch a movie and catch up. You handed him some sweatpants and a t-shirt he had left from past sleep overs which he took into the bathroom to change. You met back in the living room. You had on a big sweatshirt, sweatpants, and fuzzy socks. 

“Y/n you look like it’s gonna start snowing in here,” he said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood. 

“Damn near. I’ve been so cold recently.”

He tried to stop the fact from coming up but his brain wouldn’t let him keep it down, “feeling cold is one of the leading symptoms of an eating disorder including fatigue, sleeping issues, and irregular menstrual cycles.” 

You both sat there with wide eyes. Neither of you knowing what to say. You looked down and started picking at your nails, chewing on the inside of your lip. 

“When did you know,” you asked still not looking up. 

“A little while ago but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he started, “I- I didn’t want to say anything to upset you. I just want to be here for you Y/n in any way I can.”

You looked up to meet his eyes which were also getting glossy, “The shine in your eyes is gone. You don’t eat the pasta Rossi brings or Penelope’s cupcakes anymore. You’re hurting yourself Y/n and I couldn’t live with myself if anything bad was to happen.”

You shifted in your seat on the couch to get yourself in his embrace. You sighed as Spencer wrapped his arms around you, letting out the sob you felt was stuck in your throat for months. 

“I’m sorry Spencer,” you choked out, “I don’t know whats wrong with me.”

He shushed you and rubbed his hands on your back, letting you cry on his chest. It broke him to see you in pain, knowing he could only do so much to help. 

“You’re going to be ok. I’m right here and I’ll always be here to help you if you want me to be,” he said into your hair. 

You pulled away and he wiped your tears off with this thumb, “Please don’t tell the team a-about this,” you hiccuped, “I just don’t wanna worry them, and I know Hotch will make me take time off.”

“Hey hey I won’t tell them, I promise. But if you feel like it’s getting worse then you need to at least talk to Hotch. I’ll take time with you and make sure to be with you every step of the way.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Spencer. I love and appreciate you so much. Thank you for being you,” you said leaning into his palm.

“I love you too y/n. But don’t thank me, I don’t know how to be anyone else.”

You went back to your previous position of having your head on his chest where he continued to rub your back and whisper reassuring phrases in your ear. You didn’t know when you ended up falling asleep but you knew that whenever you woke up you’d be ready to get help knowing you had Spencer in your corner. 

[nctinthehouse]

Back To You

reader x Xiaojun

based on “Back To You (English Version)” by Kun & Xiaojun

genre: strangers to lovers to ex lovers!au, fluff, angst, heartbreak

wc: 2.1k

A/N: I absolutely loved writing this and wanted to get this out for Xiaojun’s birthday but I wasn’t sure if I was able to finish it on time but to my surprise, I actually did and I’m so happy with how this turned out. Though it's mainly based on the English version, I also took some inspiration from the Chinese lyrics. Hope you guys enjoy reading this one :)

You couldn’t believe this was happening.

You just slept over your alarm! How even-??

This is what happens when you start binge watching cat videos at night damn it.

You aggressively pull the covers off you and jump out of bed, quickly rushing to the bathroom to get ready. You were lucky you got your bag and outfit ready the night before in case you had to rush out the next morning. However, there was no time to make breakfast today so you just decided to pick some up at the train station if you were lucky. Doing one last check around your apartment, you quickly put your shoes on and make your way to the train station.

You’re practically legging it to the station at this point. Thoughts running through your mind on how on earth you managed to sleep through your alarm. You always had the volume turned up all the way so it boggled you how it didn’t wake you up.

As you were frantically making your way, you quickly took a glance at your watch to see if you could still make your usual train. However, while doing so you accidentally bumped onto the back of a stranger. You grunt at the contact while the stranger jumps slightly, still managing to hold his bike steady in one hand and his phone in the other; startling him mid way through his phone call it seems like. He turns around and you immediately bow your head in apology

“oh my god i’m so sorry”

You look at him for a few moments, maybe slightly longer than you would. Looks like you got a bit distracted by his gorgeous face and it seems like he did too as he stood still for a moment until you continued to make your way to the station. The stranger turns back and chuckles slightly at your figure as you leg it to the station before going the opposite direction to you.

The next morning, thankfully you managed to wake up on time to do your usual routine instead of having to rush around your apartment like a maniac.

As you make your way to the station, a bell startles you out of your thoughts. You move to the side a bit to make way for them. You turn your head to the side and catch a glimpse of the rider, quickly realising that it was the same person you bumped into yesterday. He startles you a bit as he makes eye contact with you. Seems like he recognises you too and you both bow in unison before riding on ahead of you.

As you make your way to the station, a bell startles you out of your thoughts. You move to the side a bit to make way for them. You turn your head to the side and catch a glimpse of the rider, quickly realising that it was the same person you bumped into yesterday. He startles you a bit as he makes eye contact with you. Seems like he recognises you too and you both bow in unison before riding on ahead of you.

✿✿✿

For the next 2 weeks, you and the stranger continue to greet and bow to each other. Giving small smiles to each other but never striking up a conversation since either you’re rushing to the station because of an unheard alarm or both of you just seemed to want to make it to work on time. You’re hoping that the stranger is actually going to work and not a random creep stalking you.

One morning as you’re making your way to the station, you and the stranger meet again. But this time it would be different. Instead of giving small smiles to each other, you decided to strike up a conversation with this guy. You were curious about him and he’s kinda cute too so why not. But again, hopefully he’s not a creep. As soon as you saw him, you immediately let out a huge smile on your face

“hello” you say as you wave at him

From that moment on, you didn’t realise that it was the start of a new chapter in your life…

✿✿✿

Over the next several weeks as the days went by, you and the stranger would continue to converse on the way to work. Striking up conversations of anything and everything. You learn that his name is Xiaojun and that he does actually bike to work and not a creepy stalker that heads the same direction. You learn that he works just a few blocks away from the station at a pet shelter, caring for many many abandoned animals waiting to be adopted. You also learn that the reason why he chose to work there in the first place was because of his love for animals especially cats and dogs as he has 2 cats and a dog of his own along with his housemates.

As time went by you and Xiaojun grew close, sharing similar interests and your love for animals too. Hence one day, Xiaojun decided to invite you along to his workplace for a chance to volunteer at the pet shelter to help out. Something that you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to doing it.

Months went by ever since you and Xiaojun met. The first meeting between you two would come to mind every now and then. You often catch yourself thinking about him even when he’s not around. You would miss him at the most random times; you missed his presence, his hugs, his laugh, just everything you could ever imagine.

You felt things changed over time when you and Xiaojun got closer and closer. It didn’t even feel like you guys were just friends, it felt more than that. One day it came to the realisation that you were falling for him, falling really hard. Even the slightest of touches would make your stomach go crazy, in a good way though. You just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the other hand, you felt sad at times. You never really did have much luck in your love life so you didn't expect much to come out from this. You often thought that these feelings were just one sided. However, what you didn’t know was that Xiaojun thought exactly the same way as you did with you. You both fell for one another and it was the best feeling ever, just if only you both knew of each other’s feelings.

✿✿✿

On one summer night, Xiaojun was walking you back to your apartment after having dinner at a restaurant. You had gone to the pet shelter earlier to volunteer, something you now do every weekend along with Xiaojun.

The atmosphere felt different this time round. It was a good kind of different. You guys were just walking in silence; all you could hear was your surroundings and your thoughts. Though it was quiet, it didn’t feel awkward at all. It never did.

But suddenly you felt like something was bothering Xiaojun. You always had this weird thing of sensing other people’s feelings especially if they were upset or frustrated. For instance, there was a time when you guys were riding your bikes down the park. Xiaojun was quieter than usual but you felt like something was bothering him so you went ahead and asked if everything was ok. This was one of the reasons why Xiaojun fell for you. He loves your caring nature and he feels so loved.

You looked at him for a moment and was about to ask him if everything’s ok but before you could speak a word, you suddenly felt his hand brush against yours. His pinky finger hooked onto yours for a bit before fully taking his hand in yours. You turned the other way and tried to keep your composure but it felt like your heart was about to jump out. You were trying not to freak out. Little did you know Xiaojun kept his eyes on you the whole time, smiling to himself and thinking how cute you were. Your eyes met with his as you turned to look at him before laughing as you buried your head on his shoulder, trying to calm yourself down as you were pretty sure you were as bright as a tomato right now.

Time flew by too quickly for your liking and soon enough you guys were now at the front door of your apartment. It was quiet for a moment as it seemed like neither of you wanted to say goodnight. However, you both needed to rest up for the remainder of the night to get some sleep.

As you opened your door, you turned around and hesitated for a moment before leaning in and giving him a peck on his cheek

“goodnight” you say as you smiled at him

“goodnight” Xiaojun says as he clearly couldn’t keep the smile off his face

As soon as you closed the door, you leaned back against it and started jumping up and down in excitement. You couldn’t believe what just happened.

Throughout the next 2 years, you and Xiaojun learned more about each other. You guys stuck by each other’s side, going through the good and bad times. Lots of kisses, cuddles and firsts. New journeys and adventures. Promises of never leaving each other’s side. You treasured every single moment spent with him. It was the absolute best 2 years of your life.

However things changed. Shit happened. Nights felt colder than ever. The air felt different. Your relationship started to fall apart badly around autumn as you and Xiaojun seemed to have drifted apart. It happened so fast. You guys did have arguments every now and then; you listened to each other and resolved things but it wasn’t as big as this one. This time there was no turning back. You and Xiaojun met up one day and decided that maybe it would be for the best to end things even though both of you didn’t want to let each other go. And of course, there were a lot of tears.

Both of you were so happy, you had never felt this way before.

So what happened? Where did things go wrong?

- 4 months later -

It’s been a while since you and Xiaojun saw each other. Both of you have been through a lot since the break up. The last time you saw him was probably about 3 months ago when you saw him at the pet shelter. It was a bit awkward. Words were exchanged but no longer than a few minutes.

Though you loved going to the shelter to volunteer, you spent less and less time throughout the few months going there as work got a bit busy which meant less free time. But was it also because you didn’t want to bump into Xiaojun? As much as you missed him and wanted to just run to his apartment and embrace him, you just couldn’t. You couldn’t bear to have your heart broken even more, not when it’s still healing.

Throughout the past few months, you would think about what happened back then. You would go on walks where you and Xiaojun often went on late night dates. It felt weird because you just got so used to him being by your side. You couldn’t get him off your mind; whatever you did, it reminded you of the time when you and Xiaojun would be together, whether it be grocery shopping or on your way to work.

Never did you once think that you and Xiaojun would fall apart. You missed him so much.

And so did he. Xiaojun felt exactly the same way you did. Sometimes he thought to himself

Could we try again?

Both of you are still holding onto the love.

One evening, Xiaojun was on his way home after his shift at work. He was walking down the street where you and he first met and it made him think back to that time. He couldn’t help but smile to himself at the thought as he looked up to the clear night sky; the moon so bright and clear that it casted a night shadow on him. As he saw the lone shadow, he thought of you again and it made him miss you even more. He wanted you by his side right now.

Somehow, both of you seemed to be in sync with each other.

Little did he know that right now, you were walking down that same street he is on. And of course, you didn't know that.

You didn’t know until you came back to your senses after getting lost in your thoughts; staring at your shadow before looking up and spotting a figure just a few meters away in front. You come to a halt as you realise the figure is Xiaojun and he does the same as he sees you. Both of you were surprised to see each other and get slightly taken aback by each other's presence since you weren't expecting to bump into each other.

Compared to the last time you saw him, it wasn’t awkward at all. Things felt different.

Was it that maybe you were beginning to move on for good? Or was it because you still felt there was a chance for you guys to reconcile the love you both have been holding onto all this time; a chance to restart from the beginning?

As your eyes focused on each other, there was only one thing going through your minds

Can we try again?

A/N: Thanks for reading to the end! Originally I wasn't going to go for this kind of ending and wanted to end it on a much sadder note but I decided to go for an open ending. Can we try again and shine even brighter than before or was it for the best to let it go and let it be memories forever?

Feel free to let me know what you think and as always, I appreciate everyone for reading my fic! I look forward to writing more in the future. Be sure to wish Xiaojun a happy birthday!!! ❤

masterlist

[capricorn-stark]

Unexpected Encounters Pt 2

pairing: dick grayson x reader, reader doesn’t know he’s nighwing yet

warning: nothing

a/n: this fic is for the lovely @daintykeith who requested this from me literally like a month ago - i didn’t expect to get as busy as i did, but thank you so much for your patience and i hope you enjoy it!!

part 1

There was a new hero in town. And he went by the name Nightwing.

It wasn’t surprising to you in the least, you had practically predicted a hero sauntering into Bludhaven since the very first day you moved there. In a city as messed up as it was, there was no chance some latex-clad figure with a hero-complex could pass it up—after all, Bludhaven gave Gotham a run for its money. 

What was surprising to you was the fact that you had run into this new hero on more than one occasion, and by this point, it was starting to seem less and less like a mere coincidence.

“I’m serious—I’ve been seeing this guy everywhere,” you began in disbelief as the blurry image of a man in a blue and black suit flashed across the TV screen, some blonde news anchor discussing the subject with notable interest while Dick Grayson laughed beside you on your couch. “It’s been, what, a month? And every other time I turn on GBS, they’re still talking about him.”

“It’s that bad?” the man grinned as he watched you fall back down onto the couch beside him, following your rather baleful gaze back to the screen. “I didn’t even notice it that much, honestly.”

“It’s not even just the news! I’ve run into him like a dozen times in the past few weeks in person,” you insisted, shifting to face him as he continued to chuckle disbelievingly. 

“You sure you’re talking about this guy? ‘Cus even the BCPD’s had a hard time tracking him down.” Dick nodded towards the photograph on the TV. “They can’t even get us a good picture.” 

“I didn’t know we had other guys dressed up in black and blue spandex and jumping off of buildings,” you deadpanned, causing him to laugh again. “I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy, Detective Grayson.” He raised his hands in surrender.

“Hey, fair enough-” His phone went off and he paused, shooting you an apologetic look after glancing at the caller ID. “Sorry - one sec.” You nodded and he picked it up, rising from the couch to head over to the hallway to speak. It didn’t bother you - you figured it was his typical phone call about detectives needing to do what detectives had to do. So, you turned your attention back to the TV where they were discussing Bludhaven’s new vigilante. “Addad wants me down to the station to look over a few case files,” Dick announced when he finally returned to view, pocketing his phone and hurriedly adding more after catching sight of your expression. “It should be really quick, it’s just—it’s really important.” 

“Right,” you started with an air of mild awkwardness, standing up as he moved to slide on his jacket. “Yeah, totally. Don’t worry about it.” He hesitated before reaching for the door, shooting you another glance and a little grin that induced a few stray butterflies in your stomach. Irrationally, of course. 

"I'll call you." 

He let that hover in the air before closing the door behind him, leaving you still standing by the couch.

Whatever it was that was going on between you and Dick Grayson was—well, you didn’t actually have a name for it yet. But it was definitely something.

It was later that very night when you received not one but two unexpected visitors via your apartment window. 

The broken window was the least of your worries when the black-and-blue clad vigilante began to rise to his feet, groaning as he straightened and freezing when he met your eyes. 

His face was rigid as he looked at you. You were still frozen on your couch, eyes flickering between him and the seemingly unconscious person on the floor. You would’ve reached for your gun, but unfortunately, you didn’t keep guns with you during Friday night TV marathons. Apparently, that was another bad idea in Bludhaven. 

“I’m not here to hurt you,” the man blurted out before you could break out of your stupor and attempt to chuck something at his head. “I was just dealing with this guy, that was an accident.” You both glanced at the shards on the floor and then back at each other. He winced. “And sorry about your window, that was...also an accident.” 

Your landlord was not going to be happy about this one. 

“Nightwing,” you finally managed, still glancing between the two figures. “You’re Nightwing.” The blue symbol on his chest (a bird? Crossed with a bat?) made that much clear. 

“The one and only.” There might’ve been a hint of amusement in his voice as he leaned over to grab the man on the floor single handedly. “You know who I am?”

“Who doesn’t?” you deadpanned, still eyeing him somewhat warily as he dragged him back towards your balcony. You wondered how exactly he was planning on heading out from there while carrying- “Is that Scarecrow?” you gaped, taking a few steps back as soon as you finally caught sight of the potato sack-like sheet obscuring the other man’s face. You could tell he was probably the real deal by the shitty stitched up mouth and the excessive usage of string around the neck. You still had no idea as to why he chose to wear his elementary arts-and-crafts project as his villain costume. “Isn’t he supposed to—why isn’t he in Gotham?” 

You did not move over to Bludhaven just to have the Gotham baddies decide to relocate with you. Nightwing’s off-handed shrug wasn’t helpful.

“Maybe he wanted a change of scenery. Maybe he wanted to poison another city’s water system with hallucinogens.” He smirked at your expression. “Bad guys get bored too, y’know.”

“That’s cute,” was your response as you pointed back to the broken window. Out of all the apartments he could crash into, he had to crash into this one. “What am I supposed to-”

“Don’t worry about the window, I can take care of it,” he interjected somewhat hurriedly before you could finish, already seeming embarrassed enough. “Sorry.” 

More staring.

“Are you going to fix my window…?” 

“...no.” A pause. “Not personally, I can’t—I’ll send people over here. Later.” The silence ensued and you finally raised a brow at him, to which he gave you a rather sheepish grin. “We’ve seen each other a lot, huh?” 

Aside from this incident, there had been the time where you had been stopping by the corner store and he had shown up chasing after some of Tony Zucco’s men, sending a cocky grin your way before he took them down. 

There had been the time you had been at work and he somehow managed to take his fight with Blockbuster right outside your window, shooting you a wave mid-kick and barely avoiding a fist to the face because of it.

Then there was the time at your local cafe when he had literally just stepped in, suit and all, to get a cup of coffee at the same time you had gone in. 

There were so many instances where you had seen him around, fighting crime, stopping villains, and even just relaxing, that it had started seeming less and less like coincidences and more like he was, in fact, sticking around your area a little more than he needed to.

“Yeah,” you finally answered, still eyeing him in mild disbelief, “we really have. A lot.” 

“Coincidences, am I right?” The teasing tone of his voice was unmistakable. 

“Once or twice? Sure.” Seeing Batman during a night at Gotham could be considered a coincidence (and bad luck, according to urban lore and statistics concerning the likelihood of also encountering the Joker). Running into a person you knew in public could be considered a coincidence. Meeting the same vigilante about six different times when the rest of the city barely even had good, non-blurry pictures of him? Not a coincidence. “I’m pretty sure it’s more than a coincidence at this point. Do I know you?”

“Do you?” His playfulness hadn’t been reduced by a shred, and you moved to grab the broom to clear up the broken glass with a sigh. “I get asked that a lot - here, let me take care of that-” You brushed him off with a shake of your head, already having started yourself. 

“It’s fine. And if I don’t know you, this is even weirder.”

“I wish I knew you better.” 

“Seriously?” He shrugged again, still grinning. 

“Seriously.” You gave him another look before finally clearing away the glass. Nightwing had brought the still-out Scarecrow onto your balcony. You were surprised the guy was still knocked out. He must’ve taken a pretty solid hit.

“I really hope you were serious about fixing this-”

“I was, trust me,” he assured, watching you walk outside as well before he picked the man up again. He had the decency to at least look rather sheepish about the entire ordeal. “You won’t have to worry about it, I promise.” You shrugged at his words, but you somehow felt like he was actually being genuine about it. So you decided to wait and find out if you were right about him.

“Then I guess I’ll see you around, Nightwing,” you finally said after catching his gaze through his cowl, shooting him a little grin he returned easily. 

“I’ll see you around too, Y/N.” 

It sounded so off-handed and normal that you hadn’t even realized what he had said until he had swung right out of your view, leaving you standing at your balcony in complete disbelief.

How had he known your name?