#there was finally okay rep (not perfect but not bad which is so much better than we usually get) and people threw it away with a meme

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I will never not be angry about that stupid The Good Doctor meme

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Ten

Kusuo Saiki x Reader

Chapter Ten: Traveling to Okinawa

Summary: (Y/N) and Saiki prepare for their school trip, and it is, of course, chaotic.

            PK Academy was buzzing with excitement for the Okinawa trip. Yumehara and Teruhashi were especially excited because they wanted to spend time with Saiki. That meant they had to join his group. Of course, the obvious answer was to first ask (Y/N) to ask the boys (since they had already roped them into their group), but they were over with Saiki, and neither wanted to embarrass themselves in front of their crush. They tried to ask the other guys, but Teruhashi’s fan club became too exuberant in trying to get her to join them. So, now the girls (plus (Y/N)) were joining boy groups by a lottery system. Teruhashi, of course, was first up. She walked up to the box and rummaged around in it for a second.

            Yare yare. I feel bad that (Y/N) won’t be in my group, but I can’t have them and Yumehara there, too.

            “I choose this one!” declared Teruhashi.

            “Teruhashi’s group will join Takahashi’s group,” announced Hairo.

            “From here on, if you wanna talk to Teruhashi, talk to me first,” said Takahashi proudly as the other boys yelled in outrage.

            (Y/N) sighed. I wanted to be in Saiki’s group…

            Teruhashi and Yumehara felt the same way. They were very disappointed.

            “So Teruhashi’s group will join Takahashi’s, but what about the rest?” asked Hairo. “Shall we decide the rest via raffle as well?”

            The boys just mumbled about not caring. (Y/N) sweat-dropped. A girl from another group finally walked up and picked out another group.

            “Ugh, we got Nendou? Being in Nendou’s group is like, totes the worst!” she spat while her group nodded. “Like, can we pick again? This, like, totes kills the trip for us.”

            “Then our group will switch with theirs!” volunteered Teruhashi angelically.

            “T-Teruhashi?!” stammered Takahashi’s group.

            (Y/N) brightened. They knew Saiki wouldn’t enjoy having Teruhashi and Yumehara with him, but they really wanted to be in his group. They were friends with him and the others in the group, after all.

            “That is, if Nendou and the other two are okay with it,” continued Teruhashi.

            Everyone was amazed at the perfect pretty girl wanting to be in Nendou’s group. However, it didn’t last long as they all thought about how kind and selfless she was for doing it. It made her more perfect to them. The class began to cheer for their goddess.

            Yare yare. The only good thing about this is (Y/N) being in my group. Other than that…I’m just stuck with two more bothers.

            The class seemed to be satisfied with the rest of the results. Then, Hairo got called over by the teacher. When he returned to the room, his face was slightly crestfallen (as much as Hairo could be).

            “Which of you are in Mera’s group?” asked Hairo.

            “Oh, we are,” said (Y/N), raising their hand.

            “It looks like she can no longer go on the trip with us,” said Hairo.

            “Aw, why?” asked (Y/N).

            “Apparently, they couldn’t catch as many bluefin tuna as they wanted,” explained the class rep. “It’s unfortunate, but we can’t do anything about it. So it’s been decided that we’ll do groups of eight instead of groups of seven. Two of the members of Teruhashi’s group have to join another.”

            Instantly, Teruhashi and Yumehara glanced at (Y/N), who was humming pleasantly. They were better friends with the boys, so they were the obvious choice to stay in the group. Other people were also pulling them away.

            Looks like God is on my side.

l

            Saiki sighed in annoyance as he listened to Makoto prattle on and on about the “perverted” things Saiki was “thinking” and how he would be there to stop Saiki from doing anything. It was really quite disturbing how detailed Makoto was getting. Saiki was prepared to just not go, but…he could hear Mera and (Y/N) passing by. Mera was sad about not being able to go, and (Y/N) was disappointed their friend couldn’t come.

            That did it.

            Alright, Teruhashi. You win.

l

            “What shall we do, teacher?” asked Hairo.

            (Y/N) had been bouncing up and down in excitement at the trip, but they were starting to get nervous since it might be canceled now.

            “This isn’t good…” said the teacher.

            Suddenly, the PA system announced, “Due to a typhoon, the flight to Okinawa scheduled for ten o’clock has been temporarily suspended at this time.”

            (Y/N) sighed and slumped in their seat. “What bad luck…”

            “When I was finally able to go,” mourned Mera.

            Saiki sighed as the depressed thoughts of his friends bothers flooded him.

            “Excuse me, if the flight gets canceled, will the school trip be postponed?” asked a student.

            “No, it’ll be canceled,” said Matsusaki.

            “What?!” cried everyone.

            “I want you to go…but it’s out of my hands,” said Matsusaki sadly.

            “Teacher!” cried the students.

            “Don’t give up, guys!” shouted Hairo, clearly trying to delude himself. “It’s not like the flight has been canceled! One, two, sun! Don’t give up! Come on, guys! Cheer with me!”

            (Y/N) just sighed gloomily.

            Yare yare, even their endless sunniness is dampened. I can’t keep watching this. He couldn’t have (Y/N) upset. He liked them happy. Saiki teleported away for a moment before returning, soaking wet.

            “Hey! The flights back on!” chirped (Y/N) happily. “The news says the typhoon suddenly disappeared!” They grinned and then cocked their head. “Saiki? Why are you wet?”

            “Never mind it.” He smiled a tiny bit. “Now, let’s take that school trip.”

            “Yeah!” cheered (Y/N).

            Finally, PK Academy boarded the plane and was off to Okinawa. (Y/N) took out headphones and leaned back in their seat. While Yumehara, Teruhashi, and Mera were talking, they decided to take a nice long nap. They wanted as much energy as possible when they arrived in Okinawa.

l

            “The ocean looks so beautiful!” said (Y/N), looking out the bus window.

            “It’s so green!” said Nendou. “I wonder if someone’s dumpin’ some paint out there. Right, pal, pinky?”

            (Y/N) just grinned and shook their head.

            “Hey, (Y/N)!” called Yumehara. “Look!” She opened her shirt, revealing a bikini top.

            (Y/N)’s cheeks warmed, and they looked away. “Yumehara!”

            “Don’t take your clothes of here!” Teruhashi blushed.

            “It’s just a bathing suit,” explained Yumehara.

            “That makes more sense,” said (Y/N). “Stripping on the bus doesn’t seem your thing. I’m guessing you’re excited about the beach?”

            “Totally!” said Yumehara.

            “Me, too,” said Teruhashi.

            (Y/N) smiled. “I can’t wait to go. I bought a new swimsuit for the occasion.”

            “Oh, are you not wearing a guy’s swimsuit this time?” asked Yumehara.

            “No, I went for a two-piece,” said (Y/N). “I thought I’d have fun.”

            “I got a bikini, too,” remarked Teruhashi.

            “We’ll be like a fashion show!” commented (Y/N), beaming as the bus stopped.

            “Ooh, finally, we’re getting food!” Mera was drooling at the thought.

            She quickly pulled everyone into the building the teachers were escorting them into. They were all sat down in groups around tables and given food.

            “So, this is Okinawa soba, huh? It doesn’t look like soba at all,” said Nendou.

            “Well, one difference is that they don’t use buckwheat flour, so—,” said Yumehara.

            “Whatever it is, it looks good! Let’s chow down!” Nendou began eating.

            “Kuwachii sabira,” said Kaidou in the Okinawan dialect.

            Everyone stared blankly at him.

            “Yep! Maasan! This is ippee maasan,” said Kaidou as he ate.

            “Sure! Maasan!” chirped (Y/N).

            “Don’t start,” said Saiki, giving them a look.

            They laughed sheepishly while Kaidou continued attempting the Okinawan dialect.

            “He’s trying too hard.”

            “Th-Th-That’s amazing, Kaidou,” said Teruhashi, struggling to get the lie out.

            “I can’t remember them at all,” said Yumehara.

            “That’s fine!” said Kaidou. “Even if you don’t get ushinaa guchi, nankura naisa!”

            “He was excited for that phrase,” observed (Y/N).

            Finally, after an excruciatingly incomprehensible narration of the meal by Kaidou, the group finished eating and left the restaurant.

            “We still have some time left. Do you wanna stop by the souvenir shop?” asked Mera.

            “Sure!” (Y/N) nodded. With that, the girls enjoyed the time until dinner with some light shopping.

l

            “Now this is what a school trip’s all about!” cheered three boys at the hot springs. “Peeping!”

            Yare yare. Hearing their thoughts makes me feel gross.

            “Actually, I came once before to check things out,” said one boy.

            “To Okinawa?!” cried Takahashi. “That’s commitment, Murata!”

            “The hotel switches the men’s and women’s baths each day. I have a good grasp of the other side, too,” said Murata.

            “Wow…I can’t even find words…” said the third boy, impressed.

            “But it’ll all be worth it…to get a peek at her!” declared Murata, clearly thinking of Teruhashi. “The best place to peek is under that light.”

            I’ll block their line of sight.

            “What is she’s already gotten out?” asked Takahashi.

            “They might not compare to Teruhashi, but Mera and (L/N) are pretty hot as well,” said the third.

            Saiki stopped his movements. Yare yare. I guess I’ll have to handle this differently.

            As the three used periscopes to try to look over the fence, Saiki twisted the tops around. The boys were met with the horrifying picture of a naked Nendou.

            I don’t understand what the big deal about naked bodies is— Saiki accidentally looked through the fence with his x-ray vision. He could see (Y/N) in the water with their back turned. It was more of them than he had ever seen. Oh, wow. He immediately looked away. He had not expected that reaction to them. Shaking his head, he dispelled the thoughts, but they continued to bob in his head. Yare yare. I’m going down to the beach to get away from all of this.

            If Saiki had known the situation would just get worse, perhaps he wouldn’t have lay down on that beach chair that night.

Taglist:

@elaemae

@painstakingly-juno

@characterreaderwriter

@melovepurple

@sleep-7372

@w0mank1sser

@geminigengar

@noodleryworld

@leonardo-dabitchy

@janezee12751275

@xenop0p

@ex160-blog1

@futureittomainn

@boogiemansbitch

@dmitrytherat

@yuriisclumsy

@sixxze

@constellationguy

@k03ume

@sweatyinternettrash

@paastaboi

@unorthodox-gob

@girlswhopanic

@h-i-g-h-w-a-y-t-o-h-e-l-l-l

[sydnycvwrtes]

congratulations on getting an agent! that’s amazing 🎉 do you mind sharing your querying journey (what was it all like? when you started, how many queries you sent, how many full requests, and other stats? things you expected about querying? things you didn’t expect? lessons you learned? etc?)? just whatever you feel like sharing 😊

Yes!

So tbh I feel like I both had an easier but longer journey. I didn't send too too many queries (in contrast to some folks) but I was querying for a long time. I started when I was 18 for reference, so I queried for almost four years exactly (3 years and 352 days lol) but I took long pauses to overhaul the novel between query batches based on any feed back I'd gotten. I sent queries in batches of 4-6 and didn't send more until I'd gotten responses from everyone from one batch.

So:

33 queries sent (I resent edited queries to the same agents 4 times which feels a little 🧍🏿‍♀️)

6 partial requests (quick bit of advice: different agents have different specific ways they want you submit. It might be annoying to reformat everything, but just do it)

4 full requests (and let me tell you, when I sent fulls to "famous" agents, I was waiting for upwards of half a year, which can also account for the time gap)

1 offer of rep (woohoo!!!!) from an agent I feel really understands my vision for the book, and will be a great representative for me when sub time comes. For revisions, I'm not having to change any plot points, just explain a little bit more stuff so they're not too grueling. Plus I write super fast and that helps lol.

I think querying for so long definitely toughened me up. I was really expecting for the first agent I queried, who I considered a dream agent at the time, to adore my book, sign me immediately, and offer no critiques before we went on sub for three seconds and scored a billion dollar deal (and I queried her TWICE because I was just that hooked up on it lmao). As you can see, that didn't happen. I got some rejections after months, and some after only a few hours. And at the begining? Oh they HURT. They hurt BAD.

And then you get another and another and another, and the sting lessens over time.

I became a lot better at being critical of myself, which I feel like is the most important skill in querying- understanding that you are going to have to make heavy edits, kill your darlings, and just overall refine you book in ways you didn't see before. Even the version I sent to the agent I signed with was far from perfect, and I'm making revisions. And that's okay. It's a step to getting published.

It... Was hard. I had a friend tell me it was just not the right time for my book and to shelve it. I think that hurt more than a rejection. But I knew I wanted to be an author, and I knew I wanted to tell these character's stories, so I just kept working. I rewrote my book more times than I can count since I started writing it at 15. It's just all a very long process, and you have to be patient, and you have to KNOW that this is what you want to do and you're going to do it.

Last weird little tidbits of advice:

I had one person read a very old copy of my book. I had no beta readers. I never hired an editor. Don't do what I did. Beta readers can help you so so much. If you can find someone willing, have them help you!!!

Query that agent! I almost didn't query my agent because they said they were a fan of beautiful prose, and I didn't think I had that. But, after mustering the courage, I finally did and look what happened. Just send the query!! The worst they can say is no!!

If you get personalized feedback from a rejection, that is still really helpful. My book is better now mostly because of my rejection feedback because it was all telling me the exact thing to work on. For me, the writing was fine, but I tended to under-explain things. I got that feedback.... A lot. And I was able to fix it and eventually get an agent (woo!)

(even though my revisions are still centered around explaining oops-)

Anyway, I hope this was helpful! I hope I was able to give you a pretty good picture of my querying time! It was... Definately something!

[takaraphoenix]

Ship game!! What about Nico and Will?? It’s pretty popular, but I don’t think I’ve seen you write much of it…

That's an interesting one in that I have vocalized my reasons for disliking it way back when it first became popular but instead of just linking that, it has been years so I think it's time for an updated version.

Firstly: This post is gonna be properly tagged and not crosstagged so if any shipper comes across it and feels the need to bitch about it, just don't; your lack of curating your own tumblr experience is not my problem! ;D

Now, there are three key factors that play into my dislike of this ship: How it was written, what it represents, how the fandom around it acts.

1. It’s rushed and uncomfortable

In BoO, it was incredibly rushed. They had literally five sentences of interactions before they walked into the literal sunset together. Five. It was just entirely born from Riordan's Noah's Ark Complex, where he just can't let people be single. The series was ending and he needed Nico to have an endgame so he rushed into some random romance with zero build-up.

The way their interactions went down was also severely uncomfortable for me. Will was acting so offended by Nico not wanting to go to camp and be friends in an entitled way that he had no right to be, he downright guilt-tripped Nico about how he had wanted to be friends. Nico has been just so severely traumatized at such a young age and his coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it was, was to run away and hide. Will acted like Nico not wanting to form attachments to people who could potentially leave him again was somehow just an Edgy Emo Decision and not a direct reaction to his trauma. His entire approach to Nico was basically all these hippie posts of "Don't have depression!! Just go out into the sun and stop being depressed!", which is already a bad take with non-medical people but he's supposed to be a doctor (and let's not get into the shadiness of him technically being Nico's doctor).

There is also an inherent "I can fix him" angle to this ship and to me, only few ship dynamics are more uncomfortable than that. If you want to fundamentally change a person's behavior and personality, you... don't actually want to be with this person.

Now, here's where my points overlap, because the following parts of their writing that bothers me also stand for what this ship fundamentally represents.

2. Solangelo is a queer ship written by and for straights

I'm a queer woman and as a queer woman, I want queer wish-fulfillment, not what straights want out of queerness. I'm kind of tired of that, I've been sitting through it for enough decades now. That's, of course, not to say that no straight writer can give proper queer representation, but far too often do straight writers - even the most well-meaning ones - project straight desires of queerness into their queer representation.

Let me explain that closer through this ship.

Nico's been in love with Percy for years and I'm going to do my best to not hijack this post with some Percico agenda; that's not what this his about, this isn't some "my ship is better than your ship" ship-war nonsense. It's simply a canonical fact that Nico has had romantic feelings for another character for years.

A character who, in this medium, is heterosexual. And if you're queer, you've been there. In love with your straight best friend. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.

We have also all been well-meaningly rejected by said straight friend.

And here's the straight desires for you: The queer person who was in love with a straight person just immediately stops having those feelings and will then as quickly as possible fall in love with the next queer person they meet to be happy and no longer uncomfortably in love with a straight person, because that thought makes the straights uncomfortable.

Queer wish-fulfillment would be for Percy to return those feelings, for the queer character to get his first love, to not be rejected. That thing queer teens always dreamed about for themselves.

Aside from the wish-fulfillment angle, the pacing is another problem. Let me repeat, Nico was in love for years. But a five sentence conversation with Will once causes a crush on Will and we see him physically turn away from Percy and toward Will just immediately to rebound and actually fall out of love with Percy and in love with Will. Anyone who's ever been unlucky in love will attest to just how unrealistic and ridiculous the pacing here is.

It's also straight queerness in another respect; Nico has been the first ever queer character we meet in that world. He loves a straight guy - and to get over that, we introduce the second queer character. Because heaven forbid there are multiple queers to pick from. No, in straight-written queer romances, there is always that one main queer and then they introduce a second one and the two just immediately hit it off and develop a romance like all a queer person needs to form attraction to someone is the confirmation that the other person shares your sexuality.

Also the notable gay guy on gay guy ship here, whereas the more queer-wish-fulfillment option would have also included more nuance to the queer experience, because Percy doesn't have to be heterosexual just because he has only been with girls so far. It's a very old-fashioned - think 90s and early 2000s - kind of straight-written queerness that there are only exactly two homosexuals and that those two homosexuals then pair up.

And, listen, I'm not immune to these outdated straight-written queers entirely, I have many such ships that I grew up with that I am still fond of because they were groundbreaking at that time and they weren't outdated yet back when they happened in said 90s and early 2000s. I am however a grown woman now and just like I have grown, so has queer rep so I am not as easily baited into falling onto my knees in gratitude for canon rep. You have to go with the times. And this ship, by all that is given to us, is just entirely outdated straight-written rep.

Which, I mention earlier that even straight-written rep can be good. If the author tries. Riordan doesn't really try though; he does the bare minimum when he writes any of his rep - and there have been many, many more qualified voices being very vocal about his depiction of people of color and, as a woman, I've been vocal about his depiction of women. I don't want to derail this post with all of that, but I do think that it bears mentioning that Riordan doing rep but only doing a bare minimum and not putting in the necessary work to deepen the representation he wants to give is a repeating pattern that has been pointed out many times by now.

(I’d also like to point out that no, it is not just the ship and not just the listed instances that make it straight-written rep for straights. It’s Nico’s entire queer arc, starting with his forced coming out. A severely traumatizing event that is completely brushed over because the straight author doesn’t understand the impact this has on queer people. Not to mention the framework; Nico’s coming out isn’t Nico’s story, it happens in Jason’s POV, it is given to us through the POV of the straight bystander who gets to be Best Ally by assuring Nico that being gay is okay. This kind of coming out is not a queer wish-fulfillment, it’s a straight wish-fulfillment of getting to be the straight savior, the ally to show the gay the light of acceptance. And, additional to the ridiculous pacing of how fast Nico gets over his love for Percy, Nico also gets over years of internalized homophobia just because of, I don’t know, Jason’s few encouraging words and the fact that Will paid attention to him? For a gay kid who was in the closet all his life, the nonchalant way in which he publicly confessed his crush to Percy at the end made absolutely no sense and was written as basically a joke, finished off with Nico literally high-fiving Percy’s girlfriend despite those two never having seen eye to eye before but this is straight wish-fulfillment so all straights are Super Allies, because that’s the way straights want to see themselves, even though Annabeth has shown before just how jealous she can be and she most definitely wouldn’t go around high-fiving people who confess to her boyfriend. Nothing about Nico’s queer arc in HoO felt natural or queer or satisfying.)

Sure, Solangelo on a surface level is big because it's a canon queer couple in a YA book-series and kudos for that and yay for the kids who get to grow up seeing queers in YA books, but I actually do think that kids growing up with books written in the 2010s shouldn't grow up with 1990s levels of representation, because the 2010s overall are actually at a far more nuanced and better level of representation when it comes to queerness. And I do reserve the right to quit on too straight-written and too outdated queer rep in a landscape where I can get more satisfying representation elsewhere; we don’t live in times anymore where you necessarily have to love every bit of rep because it’s the only one you get.

Now that we've gone through my first two gripes, let's wrap this up with the final point, because it also directly ties into this.

3. The new wave of antis hiding behind this ship

A huge part of the fandom is so busy kissing Riordan's ass solely for giving them queer rep at all they think that both the author and the ship are beyond flawless and that kind of attitude is not good. Just because an author includes rep doesn't make either perfect. Absolutely no one is beyond critique - especially not when said critique comes from the very people the author is representing. And even beyond any "valid" critique on the ship, quite frankly, someone should also be allowed to just not like it, without any reasons given at all.

But there is a certain... protective obsessiveness about this ship that doesn't allow a not liking. Very similar to how PJO bore this mindset around Perc/abeth already. It's okay to have OTPs, even OTPs that you have a blindspot for and just don't want to see any flaws in. It is however not okay to then go around attacking people who don't like the thing and mind their own business.

Solangelo's bred a new generation of antis in this fandom. And, particularly with the fact that this post too receives an "anti" tag, I feel like there needs to be a clarification (because tumblr likes to forget what actually makes an anti). Not liking something doesn't make you an anti, venting in properly tagged posts doesn't either; it's the people who harass others, who seek out the content they dislike to then complain that it even exists and who actively try to make others stop creating for it - those are antis.

And with Solangelo's popularity, there was a high rise in Percico antis, who sought it out, were unnecessarily nasty about it, harrassed creators and tried to enforce some kind of "Solangelo supremacy" that won't allow other ships for the characters.

I've been in fandom long enough to be perfectly aware that not all Solangelo shippers count into this category and that there are completely normal and nice Solangelo shippers, but this is a Venn diagram where the overlap between Solangelo shippers and antis is too large to not widely associate the nasty people with the ship itself. (I've been there myself, shipping the very ship behind which a fandom's antis all hid. The second-hand embarrassment of having these people give the ship a bad name is horrendous and I do feel bad for all the normal Solangelo shippers.)

The more often I encountered these people, who made Percico bad (sometimes in wildly ridiculous manners that bent and deliberately misinterpreted canon) and who in the same breath praised Solangelo high, the more tired I grew of that ship. It's a simple game of association, really. You see that linked to the gross and nasty behavior and you start associating the ship itself with that gross and nasty behavior - and with all the things I said before that already weighed into my dislike of the ship, this just was the final tipping point, really.

And that's it. That sums up why I dislike Solangelo. It was hastily rushed, uncomfortable in its execution, it is outdated rep that very much feels as straight-written as it factually is and it does not feel aimed at me as a queer person but rather at the straight audience and it has gathered a cult following of quite uncomfortable people who on their own would be reason enough to avoid it so you can avoid them.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[flying-elliska]

Ok I finally finished First Kill and ehhhh very mixed feelings

It definitely did not live up to its potential. Sapphic vampire x vampire hunter should have been way cooler. I think because the main problem I have with this show, rushed frequently bad writing aside, is that its vibes are just extremely bland. Like okay I was a teen in the Buffy, Twilight, True Blood, and all that heyday of the vampire romance genre and yes all these stories were various kinds of problematic, cheesy heteronormative and frequently bad but they had STYLE they had thee vibe with the indie singers and the moody fog and lush forests and genuinely creepy moments and 00s camp bargain bin goth excessive self indulgent corsets and leather aesthetic there was atmosphere there was a sense of place they were going for IT

whereas this show has the plastic smell of something that just rolled off the Netflix factory line, the ikea type of ready made vibe-making that makes it sort of agressively forgettable

like look at that intro thing. It's so ugly and uninspired, it's like they went oh teens like scribbles right let's commission someone to do that for five euros and blur it together with bad photoshop

which is a shame because it did have the ingredients for a kinda bad but good cult fave. The intro song is self aware and funny. The actors are all doing a great job actually, much better than the show they're in, they really sell it. It's unapologetically queer. They managed to genuinely make me care about their families, which is a feat all those CW shows and their snoozefest vampire family politics never managed to do. It has some absolute gold moments ("You ate my mother ?????) and some genuine emotion

I just ahhhhhh I can't go all in on a show that just seems so sloppy and half-assed with the vibes like I have better standards than that even if yeah we are still lacking wlw rep but like I watch stuff like Heartstopper where everything seems so thoughtfully and carefully put together and the vibe is absolutely pitch perfect for what the story is trying to do and it looks like it's meant to feel, that bubbly giddy colorful bubble - grrr I want to tear the wallpaper off it's not a competition ofc but I do feel in general wlw are still getting the short end of the stick in terms of representation that is like, actually good in artistic terms and it is so frustrating because that really doesn't help getting more of an audience even/especially among young queer women

I guess I'm just gonna go and finish Yellowjackets but like it is telling that I have to go and watch the sapphic pairing where one gets her face torn off for some actual quality vibes like hellooooo

All things said tho I do still hope that First Kill gets renewed it's the first season, it could grow into it's own and I did get quite attached to the characters so I'd like to know how it ends for them

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

If Glee did a Taylor Swift Tribute Episode...

Just my opinions, feel free to add on to them. I know I have some fellow gleek swifties following me. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Obviously they have to do some of the hits but I think some people would have some out of the box picks.

*This post assumes all Taylor songs are available to choose from as of May 14th 2021 but focuses on Taylor’s first 6 albums (if you want more glee and Taylor I have fics with that; LOVER and FOLKLORE) and takes liberties with where this episode’s placement is in terms of canon. But since it’s all made up anyway who cares (but Blaine’s involved so I guess season 3 idk).*

Okay, trying to do a full plot here (completely inspired by @kurtdeservesbetter head canon posts. I hope this lives up to her fabulous posts). This will be my version of glee so everyone gets solos and Rachel can’t hog the spotlight. Also, this is about to be super long (both post wise and episode wise).

Let’s open the first episode with

...Ready For It because the New Directions are in their reputation era. Santana does the opening cough centerstage. Everyone in black and/or camo green outfits (can you just see Kurt in a dark green bedazzled snake jacket, Santana in a black leather dress, and Tina digging out some goth clothes for people to borrow?), snakes everywhere, but probably no Karyn (she just wouldn’t fit on the auditorium stage). Santana takes the first verse but we have Blaine step up for verse 2. (I just love their friendship in the Michael tribute, cute little badasses are BACK. Also him singing “Burton to this Taylor” is such a Klaine thing to do).

Everyone is still dressed in their rep outfits but we’re in the choir room now. Mr. Schue is talking about why Taylor had to disappear and clap back with rep, how rough the industry is for women and tries to uplift the ladies in the room and encourage them to not silence their voices (cue snarky comment from Santana about Rachel needing to be silent).

Then, Mr. Schue goes on about how you can only understand how Taylor got to her rep era by studying her earlier music. So we have a performance of Tim McGraw. Simple, front of the choir room performance, maybe Puck does guitar, and sitting on stools.

Everyone is surprised to find out how pumped Sam is for this assignment but he is all over it. “It's about time we did some country in this room.” Cue Sam and Quinn at her locker talking about their ‘date’ last night, Sam’s all cute and teasing and Quinn is not into it. She tells him it was fun but she was wrong, they shouldn’t do this again. In turn, he does a wonderful performance of Bye Bye Baby. He thought it was more but clearly he’s “a part of her past.”

Then, we’re in the empty choir room. Tina and Mike are there. (I love their cutesy duets) They sing Everything Has Changed and it’s utterly adorable. Can’t you hear Mike asking Tina if she’s “good to go” like Ed does? And while we’re on the subject of cute duets and RED, we flash to the courtyard to see Santana and Brittany. They turn Stay Stay Stay into a duet. “I’ve been loving you for quite some time,” “before you I only dated self-indulgent takers who took all their problems out on me,” “no one else is gonna love me when I’m mad, mad, mad,” and “it’s occurring to me that I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life” it’s perfect for them. Adorable ladies kisses are had.

Let’s toss in some boy drama for fun. Idk shit about football but somehow Puck is praised by their coach over Finn, which gets him all pissy, and Puck’s upset and jealous because Finn is back with Quinn now (this is why Quinn shut Sam now earlier, she changed her mind). Can we say duet of Bad Blood? “So if you’re coming my way...just don’t.”

After their dramatics, we have a Brittany solo in the choir room. It’s after school at this point (or whenever glee club is). Brittany does You’ll Always Find You Way Back Home.

When she finishes Mr. Schue tries to explain that it’s a Hannah Montana song. Britt injects that it’s confusing how she’s really Miley Cryus “like how can you be two people at once?”. Before Mr. Schue can continue, Kurt pipes up “you never specified that the songs had to be sung by Taylor Swift, just that they were her songs.” Mercedes adds, “yeah, Mr. Schue, Taylor wrote that song.” Mr. Schue concedes that he has once again been outwitted by Kurtcedes. The friends do their little hand shake thing.

With a sigh, Mr. Schue asks Mike if he’s ready to go and Mike asks to take things to the auditorium for some dancing room. Everyone’s on stage with him and it’s kind of a group number but Mike is the focus. It’s Shake It Off. All inspired by the music video. He’s tried to fit in elsewhere (i.e. football, with the smart kids, etc..) but he’s really himself in glee when he’s dancing.

Part 2 of Taylor Tribute Episodes

We begin with an ALL GIRL NUMBER of A Place In This World. Just because.

Glee is dismissed and we zoom in on Artie. He’s watching Tina with Mike and Brittany with Santana. Both Tina and Britt have broken his heart by this point. So, he’s rolling down the halls singing A Perfectly Good Heart. While Artie’s soloing, we cut to Rachel watching Finn and Quinn chatting. Artie’s song playing over this scene. Rachel is feeling similar to him at the moment.

She’s pretty sure Finn dumped her to be with Quinn again even though Kurt and Blaine told her they saw Quinn and Sam at the movies last night together making out in the back row. Fine, if that’s how he’s going to be, she doesn’t need him anyway. Cue Mr. Perfectly Fine. Uber dramatic solo performance walking around McKinley’s halls watching Finn and Quinn together ending in the auditorium alone. (see what I did there, both broken hearted peeps singing a song with Perfectly in it (this was not at all planned, actually, happy accident))

After some good old heartbreak, we have Kurt and Blaine on screen. Blaine walks into the auditorium to see Kurt sitting on the edge of the stage. “What’s all the fuss?” he asks from the door. Kurt had texted him “EMERGENCY.” The band starts to play and Kurt just starts singing, Enchanted. It’s time to profess their love for each other, just like they sing Perfect together in the car, this duet needs no audience. Blaine catches up and sings while walking towards his boyfriend. It’s very reminiscent of past New Directions competitions where they come in from the back and make their way to the stage. “Wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you?” Kurt and Blaine both know the answer to that question now but just a few months ago they were both wondering that exact thing.

They kiss before we cut to Kurt and Blaine walking hand in hand into the choir room where everyone else is already. Mr. Schue is praising the performances thus far and of course asks Rachel if she’s ready to solo (some practice for her completion solo). This causes an uproar from Mercedes and Santana. Another classic argument of how she gets too many solos. Mr. Schue tries to shut them both down but Santana tells Rachel to watch her back, and we get three very different reactions to this. 

All three girls storm out.

First, we visit Mercedes alone in the courtyard. This solo is all about being hurt over this great thing in her life (glee) and her being denied happiness within that club. Thus, Cold As You. (mostly to indulge myself because she’d blow us away with this song).

Next, Rachel in the auditorium. A huge bridge on stage (very Speak Now Tour of her), belting out Better Than Revenge. Santana’s dropped the last straw (the humiliation, name calling, Finn at one point and now solos,) it’s too much this time.

And finally, Santana walking around McKinley, showing us flashes of Rachel ‘outshining’ her and the rest of glee and Mr. Schue being unfair, while singing Look What You Made Me Do.

Tina walks out at the same time as Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana but no one seems to put two and two together. She feels just as underutilized as the latter two do. She ends up in an empty classroom and sings The Outside. “Nobody ever lets me in” and “on the outside looking in.”

Once the 3, err 4, divas have left the room, Finn sticks up for Rachel. Quinn, of course, has something to say about this along the lines of “you always defend her.” Finn, intimated by her ‘scary Quinn’ fumbles and blurts “because she’s my girlfriend” WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT THIS POINT. Quinn dumps him on the spot, cuts quickly to Blaine and Kurt sharing some ‘oh my god, can you believe this’ expressions, and vanishes from the room.

By this point, Rachel is long gone from the auditorium but the bridge is still there.

Here’s where we go way off script but imagine, Quinn has decided to just quit boys. They’ve all failed her anyway, she’s better off being alone. She walks up the bridge and thinks to herself “god Rachel’s so dramatic, where did this thing even come from” before it hits her “fuck, I’m as bad as Finn. I want her.” Then, she starts singing Clean to herself in the auditorium, likely tearing up throughout and ending with a good cry. (Because Dianna would DELIVER with Clean.)

While Quinn is having a sexuality crisis, the rest of glee is still happening. They’re discussing upcoming competition and debating solos and songs.

Kurt’s all: “Mr. Schue, if I may” and performs a lovely rendition of Call It What You Want. Those opening lines are too good. “My castle (ie McKinley) crumbled overnight, brought a knife to a gun fight (ie couldn’t fight off Dave Karofsky), “I’m doing better than I ever was ‘cause my baby’s fit like a daydream,” and “at least I did one thing right.” When he’s done, Blaine’s a mess in the back of the choir room, and Mr. Schue says: “not really what we’re looking for but very nice, Kurt” however, Kurt’s too busy sitting beside Blaine teasing him about blushing.  

Then, the missing girls return to the room having sung out their emotions. Quinn, having realized her feelings for Rachel, ends up soloing You Belong With Me to the New Directions in the choir room. Odd looks all around, no one knows what’s up with her and why does she keep glancing at Rachel? (Faberry just fit so well I had to add it, don’t know if I’m a shipper or not but it’s here now) (also thanks to @spicygemini for pointing out the obvious “Quinn would have ate YBWY”).

Mr. Schue wants to move the group to the audition to perform their final number of the Taylor Swift tribute well but Tina asks to sing first. He’s surprised but allows it, taking a seat with the rest of the New Directions.

Tina sings Beautiful Ghosts. “Watch from the dark, wait for my life to start” because New Directions is refusing to use her talents AGAIN. She’s singing this to Rachel and the girls who were in the Treble Tones. Because she absolutely SMASHES this number, the glee kids agree she gets solo for their next competition (and they deliver on that promise).

To conclude Part 2 of the Taylor tribute episode, we have a group performance of Long Live. “One day we will be remembered”, “all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now”, “for a moment a band of thrives in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” ie wining completions, “when they look at the pictures please tell them my name...”

[c-is-for-circinate]

So here’s the thing:  I really, honestly do not get the appeal in Widojest.  I don’t entirely see the appeal in Caleb Widogast.  And I’m okay with that; I have other faves who I pay more attention to; I get to do that, because my show is 3-5 hours long every goddamn week that it airs and there is plenty of time for literally everyone.  And I do not have to be a Caleb stan to understand at a really fundamental level that, hey, even if he isn’t important to me?  He is very clearly very important to a lot of actual real-live people.

There will always, always be stories that aren’t for you.  Maybe they just don’t speak to you at all.  Maybe they hit buttons in your brain that remind you of real hurts.  It’s always going to happen.  In a perfect world, with perfect representation where there are stories for you everywhere, there will still be stories that aren’t.

And it hurts, I know it does, when you feel like the story you want for you doesn’t exist anywhere, but here’s one more story that isn’t it.  It hurts when there’s a story that you thought was for you and then it turns out not to care about you at all.  There should be more stories for all of us, especially the stories that feel like they’re not getting told.

That is a real, valid pain.  We all clear on that?

Good.  Because this next part is also absolutely true:

The story that is not for you is very important to someone else.  And particularly in fandom spaces, there is a very good chance that the someone else in question has experienced marginalization on the basis of gender, sexuality, race, disability, mental illness, or general trauma.

The story that is not for you has worth.

People who find worth in stories that are not for you--even if your story is underrepresented and their story really has been told one hundred billion times before, even then--ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD PEOPLE for finding worth in those stories.

There’s this extra dimension to this particular ship war, where I think a lot of Beaujester shippers are so angry not because of what’s actually happened, but because of what years of pattern recognition has taught them (taught us?) must inevitably be coming next.  When a leading man in a fantasy series, on an arc of learning to better himself and maybe even value or forgive himself, repeatedly expresses unrequited love for a girl who he believes is too good for him, the narrative will give her to him in the end.  This is a pattern and it’s real and its existence hurts, outside of Widojest, just in general in the world.

And on one hand: that has not happened yet with Widojest, and there is a very good chance, for a million reasons, that it won’t!  And on the other hand: even if it did happen, that would not be an excuse for violent or abusive behavior, or to dismiss the worth that story might have to other people!  And on the third hand: yes, I totally see why it feels like that’s the trope being invoked here, and why that is scary, and why it hurts!

We know about Caleb’s feelings in this one specific way and we don’t know about Jester’s.  In theory that means that Jester’s feelings could be ANYTHING, and this could go ANYWHERE, and of course Caleb and Liam would respect Jester and Laura’s ‘no’, and there is plenty of agency all around and that’s great.  In practice, it can feel like another reminder of that old trope, where the male lead character’s emotions are given to the audience like something important, and the female lead character’s feelings are generally passed off as vague platonic affection until the final romantic reveal, and we have to extrapolate what was going through her head the whole time.

We know that Critical Role cares about representation and queer visibility, and without a network to fight, they get to make the show as gay as they want.  In theory this means that we can trust them to give us the rep we’re craving.  In practice, we worry, because in an ad-libbed show where you don’t have to plan ahead or deliberately fight for representation, it’s easy to accidentally slip into old familiar patterns and biases without even noticing they’re there.

We know that Laura’s agency and Jester’s agency matter here, that of course it’s not just about Caleb, and in theory that should make ANY romantic ending better and good and right and fine, but in practice--well, what does it mean, when you’ve got agency over a story, and use it to choose to tell what feels like the same old story all over again?

And right, let me say it again: none of this has happened yet.  QUITE LIKELY NONE OF IT EVER WILL.  We don’t know!!!  Not even the players know!!!

Which, maybe that’s the scariest thing of all.  When I’m watching a scripted show, I usually know what to expect out of the formula.  I know when a show is going to be queerbaity and then quit gay chicken at the last second.  I expect it.  I can feel out how trustworthy the showrunners are in a few episodes, and while sometimes there’s a long slow decline or a short sharp surprise, after 20-30 years of media engagement, I know what I’m going to get.

I suspect that CR feels like it should be more “trustworthy,” to many Beaujester shippers, in terms of providing the kind of story they’re craving--but it’s so hard to know for sure.  It’s so hard to know whether to brace for disappointment, or be resigned, or ragequit and be done with it, or most terrifyingly at all, to be hopeful.

It’s hard.  I do get that it’s hard.

And it’s really easy, isn’t it, to go on twitter and tumblr and into the comments sections on critrole.com and fuck knows where else, I’m assuming there’s a Discord somewhere that I’m not cool enough to know about, and be furious.  To be mean.  To blame the fear of not getting the story that will mean something to me, again, on anyone else.  To make fucking death threats, I don’t even know why that seems acceptable or easy to anyone, but it’s just words typed on a keyboard, so yeah, I guess it’s easy.

Do not fucking do that!  Don’t do it!  Whether you identify with everything I’ve said here or you have a completely different reason to be full of rage and fury, don’t do the furious threats thing!  Just don’t!  That, also, is easy!!!  And doing absolutely nothing is at least as effective as being violently angry at strangers on the internet, so it has that going for it as well.

There are a lot of feelings to be had here, and I’m sure not going to sum them all up or solve the problem of representation in fiction in one tumblr post, but maybe we can change this discussion a little.  Maybe we can redirect.

I started this post by saying that I’m not the world’s biggest Caleb fan.  I don’t mind him, but his story doesn’t particularly speak to me.  I don’t love the amount of space he takes up in the ongoing fandom discussion.  I particularly don’t love that every single time he comes up, the volume of discussion doubles because of people vociferously objecting to every single thing about him.

So I find the parts of the story that are for me.  I let the people who want to have Caleb discussions have their Caleb discussions, because they are enjoying a thing they like and I’m glad for him, and then I host a discussion about Beau or Fjord or Caduceus or whoever, because I WANT TO HAVE FUN TOO.  I am watching this show because it is full to the brim with things I like and have thoughts about.  There is SO MUCH OF THAT TO GO AROUND.

[kariachi]

Okay, but, if you like Pern but are unhappy with... how much it is shit? I really do recommend Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series. It’s ain’t perfect (rep can be middling at best, you will be sat there going ‘if I see another age-gap romance I swear to the gods-’, ‘divine right of kings’ is there and makes sense in-universe but also will niggle people, there is so much rape and it’s a bit more graphic- though that one is tempered by her actually treating it as a horrible, evil thing and being really fucking open about it, you will not see ‘but she liked it so it was fine’ in the Valdemar books) but it is still so good.

Things Valdemar does better than Pern

Companions. The angel bondmate horses may not be as cool as dragons, but damnit if the relationships between them and their Heralds isn’t better than the rider/dragon ones

Also, they’re the reason the Divine Right of Kings thing works- in-universe the reason Companions are around is the first king of Valdemar prayed to the gods for some way to ensure his kingdom would always be under the care of good, trustworthy, moral people, and so Valdemar was given the Companions, who only bond to good, trustworthy, moral, incorruptible people who would throw themselves into fire to ensure the health and wellbeing of others, and the ruler must be Chosen by a Companion

Seriously, finally some good fucking ‘divine right’

Leans hard into it’s fantasy setting, so you don’t have to deal with smug ‘everything here is based on science’ bullshit when the science is out a third grade textbook. Is shit weird? Yeah, it’s magic, move along.

The rep is there, which if you’ve read Pern you’ll know is a big jump. POC exist outside of backstory and get to be main characters, queer peeps get to be main characters, everyone gets stories

There are even a-spec characters! One is specifically because she traded her sexual desires, urges, and interests to her goddess in exchange for becoming a holy warrior of protection and vengeance (which her goddess made damn sure was something she honestly wanted to do in the depths of her heart, with full understanding, first, because the gods in this series are Good) but still!

Woman. Characters. Done. Right. There’s a lot of bullfuckery going on, but the women have agency, lead stories far more often, don’t get pushed aside (in their own stories, thank you Dragonflight) for focus on male characters, aren’t pitted against each other in ‘not like other girls’ bullshit

Seriously, all I can picture is if Mercedes had written Dragonquest. Brekke would’ve been the main character and we would’ve gotten her entire fucking story from pre-Search to while F’nor was healing (and he wouldn’t have fucking raped her, not and remained a protagonist, and the dragon shit wouldn’t be nearly so bad, and just it would’ve been so much better)

And I know Pern doesn’t have gods or religion (which, ugh) but y’all I enjoy the gods in the Valdemar series so much? Like, they aren’t generally involved in shit but it’s also very much because they value the free will of their followers? They’ll only get involved if their followers ask it of them. This even leads to differing relationships with differing gods by differing people.

‘But Achi that sounds like a recipe for disaster‘ It is! Karse spends centuries in holy war against Valdemar because a group of fuckers decided to use their religion for power and this hands-off method means Vkandis (their god) couldn’t do anything until the people were in such fear of their own religious leaders that they started asking him for help, and by then it was so bad he had to 1) literally perform the miracle of animating a giant statue of himself, plucking the crown off statue-him’s head, shrinking it down, and using it to crown his chosen Son of the Sun (basically fantasy-pope but Moreso) while granting her all the power one would expect a sun god to grant his mortal representative; 2) burn every corrupt, high-ranking priest in the country alive simultaneously, just to get shit to where something could actually be fucking done before the world ended

We call him ‘Vkandis the Unsubtle’ for a reason, the other one being that when, millennia ago, a kingdom prayed to him for protection from threat outside their kingdom he erected a fuck-off-tall wall of magical fire around their country that only allows those who can be trusted to do no harm and keep their mouths shut in

btw there are gryphons behind the wall of fire. Does Pern have gryphons? No, because Anne was a pansy.

And the thing with the gods leans into something else I love about this series- the characters are people, with virtues and flaws. They make mistakes, those mistakes have consequences (some of them far reaching- why does Valdemar not have magic? Because the last magic user, in an attempt to protect the kingdom from enemy mages, set up a security system that ended up driving every magic user in the kingdom mad and so guess what), and people get called out on them. Sometimes good people do bad things, bad people can have good in them and that doesn’t make them right, the characters are just more well-rounded than Anne’s. Right up to the gods themselves.

It’s not the perfect series, but I really recommend it to anyone who’s read Pern and wanted something less... that.

[violetfaust]

I'm interested in hearing more about why you think Margot should've been Rumbelle's daughter. Sounds interesting, but what would that mean for her enchanted forest life? I think her being Robin Hood's daughter would've been fine if not for Zelena

Okay, Nonny, since you sent this a few days before Mother's Day, I'm gonna finally take the opportunity to try to sum up and speed-run the Belle's Daughter Margot feelings that have haunted me for THREE YEARS. Buckle in; this will be more than you or anyone asked for.

Disclaimer 1: It's been, well, three years, so my memory of Curious Archer and their story is not perfect; could be off on some details here. And Disclaimer 2: I really loved Tiera Skovbye as Robin/Margot; she did a lot with not much screen time, and she and Rose had fabulous chemistry. So although she was well cast as Robin Sr.'s kid, Tiera would be perfectly believable as a Rumbelle daughter, too--maybe give her some low-lights and call it a day. We keep Tiera as Margot in this rewrite. Okay: onward.

(Since one of the few things that would have to change about Robin if she were Rumbelle’s daughter is her name, I’ll just mostly use her Hyperion Heights name “Margot” throughout this post for simplicity.)

First and foremost, the foundation of everything: Margot is so like Belle! She is so like her. They have the same love of adventure, a similar sense of humor. She took Alice on a date to a bookstore. Most of all, she has Belle’s ability to see past “the mask of the monster” to a person’s heart. There was a great scene where Tilly explained that she didn’t want Margot to see her “bad days” because she thought it would be “too much,” and Margot said words to the effect that she was there for the bad as well as the good.

Obviously, people don't have to grow up to be exactly like their parents (Belle and Rumple sure didn't)...BUT. In fiction, one of the fun parts of next-gen stories is for the audience to see how their favorites' personalities are passed down. It's just more fun to see a Henry who has parts of Regina/Emma/Neal than one who doesn't; it's fun to see Lucy resemble little Henry. And it would be fun to see Margot be like her parents (she is very like Robin Sr; not so much Zee). Seeing a character who has so many of Belle's traits becomes just more...fun...when she learned them FROM Belle.

The family feud Rumple/Hook angle turns Alice and Margot’s relationship up another roman tic notch. A classic trope! It’s about reconciliation and love remaking and erasing those old grudges. Which is even more important when we’re supposed to believe that the evidence of Rumple’s final redemption is his saving Rook.

On a more macro level: the entire claim that OUAT is "a show about hope" COLLAPSES because it ends with the annihilation of the Stiltskin family. Rumple, Belle, and Neal are all dead; Henry doesn’t acknowledge them as his family; and Gideon is a friendless and forgotten orphan in another world. I did my rants about this three years ago, but long story short: the show’s not about hope unless it’s hopeful for EVERYONE. And having at least one of Rumbelle’s children alive and happy at the end (with her True Love and friends and acknowledged as part of the family) would fix that. My objection has never been that Rumple (and even Belle) die, but the way it happened.

And of course, Rumbelle needed to have at least one other child because Kitsowitz managed to deny them even one single shared happy moment surrounding Belle’s pregnancy with Gideon and his birth. Even if the audience didn’t get to see it (and we could have gotten a glimpse in Beauty), we deserved to know it happened.

Finally: Zelena did not belong in S7, period. I know it was fun for her fans! (Although apparently there weren't enough of them to positively affect the ratings, meow.) I do know! But it was bad storytelling. She served no point in the larger season arc, and the serial witch killer plot that was invented to serve her was one of the worst and most stupid things Kitsowitz came up with in seven years, and ate up time that could/should have gone to develop other characters. (Driz and Ana come immediately to mind, instead of having them shunted off to another universe, but also Henry/Cinda/Lucy and of course Rumple since his plot was coming to a close.) Zelena didn’t even get any significant growth herself, or develop her relationships with Regina or Robin. She still didn’t express regret for the horrible things she did to characters we love (Rumple, Neal, and Robin Sr.); the only result of all that screentime was to give an unrepentant rapist a love story with a person--we barely see and have zero investment in. And even that was ultimately negated at the end of the season, because in the finale Zee’s back in Storybrooke sans Boo Bear.

So, all that said: what would have to change about Margot’s, and Curious Archer’s, FTL storyline to give us Margot Gold?

Her name—but actually very little else. (And frankly it would have been more respectful to have Belle name her daughter after Robin Sr., who was actually her friend, than for Zee to name her kid after the man she raped, manipulated, and ultimately got killed—but that ship had sailed.)

Belle and Rumple could have given their daughter any number of fairytale names after people they know, aka fresh take on a Disney character. My favorite possibilities are Aurora (and then Curious Archer could have been Curious Beauty, and done a riff on the Sleeping Beauty story as part of their FTL backstory, with a built-in TLK) and Merlin (very pretty for a girl, I’ve always thought).

But the character herself would have been very much the same: she could be Rumbelle’s jock daughter, trained in archery and swordsmanship by family friends (Merida/Mulan/Charming), but always feeling out of place in her family of scholars/sorcerers/nerds.

I am SO sorry for the length of this--there's even more under this cut!

Robin/Margot felt insecure about trying to live up to her father’s name; Rory/Merlin/Margot could have similar anxieties trying to live down her father’s Dark One rep. There could even be a similar story where she was born with magic (like Robin was) but loses it or chooses to give it up—something that would estrange her further from her family. Or, if she was Merlin, she could keep her magic but be reluctant to use it, and part of Curious Archer’s Hyperion Heights arc would be both Margot and Tilly discovering and accepting their magic. (Sapphic sorceresses for the win.)

Now, one of the cutest things about Alice/Robin’s FTL dynamic was Robin being a girl from the Land Without Magic finding her feet in an enchanted forest, with Alice’s help. But it would only take a little finessing of S7 Rumbelle’s story to get that for Rory as well. (Of course, any decent story would have a LOT of finessing of Rumbelle’s plot so that Belle didn’t die and put Rumple on a suicide mission, but again—assuming the ship has sailed…)

Say that Rory is five to six years younger than Gideon. The Rumbelle family spend a dozen years or so traveling the realms, but then Rumbelle decide that they want Gideon and Rory to be comfortable in the LWoM with their extended Charming family, so they settle back into the Pink Palace so the kids can get a LWoM education. They still take occasional journeys, often Rumbelle going to save some hapless souls, but Rory grows up primarily in SB with very few, vague memories of all the fascinating places they visited when she was a small child. This feeds her hunger for adventure along with some envy of Gideon for having so many more fairytale experiences—another thing that makes her feel like a misfit in her family. So, presto, when she moves to FTL she and Alice have pretty much the same meeting/adventures.

One of the key notes of Rumple and Alice/Tilly's relationship, showing his growth and making it so special, was how he chose to set her free of being the Guardian or whatever, allowing her to be free and get what he never had, the chance to grow old with the woman she loves. And that would be weakened if Rumple knew that by choosing Alice's happiness over his own, he was also choosing his own daughter's happiness (because we know Rumple picks his kids over himself ever time). But--he doesn't have to know WHO Alice's True Love is when he makes that choice. He could just know that there is someone, or simply realize that Alice deserves her freedom for her own sake. (Rumple's daughter also getting happiness would be a side benefit that he didn't learn about till later, and have the added perk of Rumple actually getting a narrative reward for doing something good. Which almost NEVER happened! Bonus.)

Finally: I do understand that Robin's presence on the canvas was important to fans of Robin Sr.--getting to know he's remembered and having someone carry on his legacy. Of course I get it--Rumbelle and their family not having that is my biggest complaint (of so so many).

But we don't need a grown-up Robin Jr. to be Robin's legacy. Let her stay a cute background kid with perennially baby Prince Neal. There's already a character, one we're invested in, to carry on for the Hoods: Roland. And again, it would be satisfying for the audience to learn that a five-year-old orphan wasn't shunted off from what family he had left (Regina and Henry) into another universe and never heard from again. If Kitsowitz didn't waste time with Zelena, they wouldn't have needed the idiotic Jack-is-Hansel-the-serial-killer twist, and we could have have had Roland filling the role of Henry's best friend/little brother (and therefore Lucy's fake HH dad--God, that plot was bad all the way back in season 1; why Kitsowitz why?). We'd see Roland onscreen, part of the family, at the end of the show, perhaps with his own True Love (Drizella, maybe, or better yet Gideon) and happy future.

So, that's it: the combination of Margot Stiltskin-Gold and Roland Hood tightens and heightens the storytelling throughout S7, closes some plot holes, and actually fulfills some of the show's stated themes. Who knew!

Anyone else want three years of OUAT theory vomit? 😋 Shoot me an ask!

(I actually have another one, god help us all, but I might save it till Father's Day...)

[pearl-star]

Two Way Link

When Marinette cracks and gets akumatized, it’s not what she’s expecting. Hawkmoth is equally confused and more worried than she is. Turns out the mindlink is a two way streak, and her earrings make the link even stronger. Needless to say, some secrets got revealed.

Marinette had allowed herself to imagine herself as an akuma before. It was kind of hard not to when their class started bets for if Marinette or Adrien would get akumatized first. It also didn’t help after seeing Chat Noir’s akumazation first hand. If she ever got akumatized, Hawkmoth wouldn’t win. Oh No. The world would be in ruins. So if it wasn’t already an obvious goal, Marinette made it her mission to never even let a butterfly touch her. Of course she’s only human, and when she’s sleep deprived and dealing with a lot of extra stress her emotions run rampant. Not only did she deal with both night and day akumas for the past week, she also had extra work planning the fundraising events and the school trip. Include all her requests from her friends for different things and her regular school work, Marinette was already at her breaking point. Top it off with a couple idiotic stories from Rossi while the girl would slip in comments dissing the bluenette, and you got the recipe for a perfect akuma victim.

Marinette wasn’t even in the right headspace to try to hold off her emotions. She simply nursed her large cup of coffee, that may or may not be the 6th cup of the day, as she stewed in her seat. Why was her class a bunch of idiots? Like Marinette cared for them still, don’t get her wrong, but they hanged off her every word like it was air. Why didn’t they get curious and do a little research of their own? It would have saved everyone the trouble. And Adrien’s dumb high road advice would do more harm than good. He’s worried about Lila getting akumatized? Try the whole class when the truth gets out. Of course, Marientte had almost been akumatized because of Lila. Maybe she should have slipped that into her conversation with Adrien. That might have changed his mind. It didn’t matter much now though. She had just begun to speak normally around him. He might think that Marinette was lying about it to make him see her way, and that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.

No one even noticed the butterfly coming into the room. It was only noticed when it landed on the coffee cup that Marinette held and the glowing mask appeared on her face. Very quickly, the class turned around and stared at their class rep. Marinette merely blinked a few times before groaning. “Really!? Come on! I was doing so good until now. Okay, you know what, fine. You want to akumatized me? Whatever. Just put the butterfly somewhere other than my coffee. I need that if I’m going to make it through today. You’re to blame for this, by the way. You couldn’t have just stopped with the akumas for the day could you. I mean one a day is bad enough. Why did you have to do two in one day? And at, like, 2am dude? Really?” Hawkmoth was just confused as the rest of her class. Marinette’s face scrunched up before her jaw dropped. “WAIT! GABRIEL AGRESTE!? YOU’RE HAWKMOTH!!?” The class paused before freaking out. Hawkmoth paled. He didn’t even get time to do his monologue before the girl started to speak out at him. As he started to reading deeper into her thoughts, he realized something. “You’re… Ladybug?” He was honestly surprised that this clumsy girl could possibly be Ladybug. Marinette just scowled. “Oh stop. I can feel your judgment from here. It’s a secret identity for a reason. Of course I’ll act differently with magical jewelry. Except, you don’t act too different than you do in real life. Maybe treat your son better, will you? He needs to have a backbone for when Rossi and Cholé drape themselves over him.” Cholé gasped and Lila tried to turn the tale but Marinette continued.

“I’ll give Cholé the benefit of the doubt since she had been childhood friends with him, but what Lila’s doing is bordering of sexual harassment. And you employed her as a model too. Like do you even care about you own son’s mental well-being?” Gabriel made the mistake of thinking about Lila and Marinette’s face shifted from shock to neutral. “Okay, so you made her spy on Adrien and report back to you as well as cause akumas. Got it. And that’s an interesting fact about her willingly getting akuamtized. Too bad my class has become too ignorant to realize that every word she says is nothing more than bull crap.” Hawkmoth, Gabriel, should have tried to rein her in. However when he tried it, magic was interfering. It was something that Nooroo had warned him about once before when he expressed the desire to akumatized Ladybug or Chat Noir. They would naturally have more resistance to him, especially Ladybug since her powers balanced for good and becoming evil would take drastic measures. Before he could try to act, the girl spoke again. “Oh, it’s nice to know that you at least let Nooroo talk. Seriously, I forgot about that whole Sandboy fiasco for a second. You couldn’t have at least allowed Nooroo to enjoy his whatever number cycle in peace. You had to traumatize so many people by creating their nightmares.” No one noticed as Adrien slipped away to transform.

Plagg flew out of his pocket and had the audacity to be laughing. “What is so funny?!” He demanded. Marinette was akumatized! Not only that, but she was Ladybug. Ladybug was akumatized and the akuma won’t be purified. Nor would any of the damage be reversed. Not to mention that his own dad was apparently Hawkmoth. Plagg caught his breath and was able to speak. “I’m sorry, but it’s too funny! This love square you guys had going on was great entertainment already. Top that with what Spots is doing and it’s gold.” Adrien decided to ignore what Plagg was saying for now and transform instead. While he was doing that, Marinette decided to discover something very important: what Gabriel’s motivation was.

Marinette clamped a hand to her mouth as she pulled the memory from his mind. Then that shock turned to hot rage. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” ALL THIS TIME YOU HAVE KEPT YOUR WIFE IN A GLASS COFFIN IN YOUR FUCKING BASEMENT LAIR?!?” Hawkmoth actually flinched from the raw power and anger she emanated. He made the mistake of recalling the peacock miraculous, setting the girl off on another tangent. “AND YOU’RE ALLOWING NATHALIE TO USE A BROKEN MIRACULOUS?!? Wow! Just, Wow!” Maybe if he detransformed and left now, he wouldn’t have to face the girl’s wrath. Nooroo’s powers allowed them to feel the strength of a person’s emotions. Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s emotions showed that even without powers or a miraculous, she would kill him with her bare hands. If he was told a day before that she would be capable of murder, he would never have believed it. Now though, he was scared.

It was at that time that Chat Noir decided to bust in. He was both shocked and impressed that Marinette was still holding out. Maybe if he destroyed the object now she won’t be transformed. Of course would that negatively effect her somehow? Before he could ponder it longer, the girl in question acted first. “You better meet me in front of your mansion and give me both the butterfly and peacock miraculous. You also better fire Rossi and put a restraining order on her so she can’t touch Adrien again. Otherwise this cup will be replaced with your neck.” Marinette crushed the cup with her hand and the butterfly flew out. Standing up, she called on her transformation before her kwami could protest. She swiped the akuma out from the air and looked around. The whole class was quite. Lila didn’t even try to say anything, and in fact she shrunk under her stare. “Alrighty then. Time to go kitty.” She walked calmly out of the room, ignoring everything that just had happened. Chat paused before following her.

Back in his lair, Gabriel detransformed from shock. Nooroo tried to hide his smirk. Wordlessly, he went back into the main part of his house and approached Natalie. She looked confused. “What’s wrong? I thought you were finally akuamtizing Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Gabriel just shook his head and held his hand out. He was slightly shaking. “Just give me the peacock miraculous. Turns out, she’s a lot more dangerous than expected.” Natalie wanted to question her boss, but he seemed to be in shock. She did as asked and followed him as he walked out the front doors of the mansion. Outside was a smiling Ladybug and a concerned Chat Noir. Ladybug’s smile looked dangerous, like she was giving a warning. When Gabriel willingly handed over both miraculouses, Ladybug laughed. A dangerous sweetness dripping out. “Thank you! Also you better be honest with what you’re wife was doing with the miraculous when the police question you. I’ll see if the damage can be undone without the potential for ending the world. Oh also I will be taking your son away. He deserves better parents and I’m sure that mine will spoil him. Chat you take his assistant, I’ll grab him. It’s time to drop them off.” Chat grabbed Natalie and had her over his shoulder before she could react. Ladybug did the same to Gabriel, ensuring that neither could make a grab for their miraculouses.

A lot of things happened on that day. Hawkmoth and Mayura were announced to be defeated. Gabriel confessed to having Lila work for him both as a spy and as a willing accomplish for Hawkmoth. Adrien’s mom was brought to a hospital and Master Fu repaired the peacock miraculous and reversed the damage done to both her and Natalie. Lila was taken off to serve time in juvie and the two adults went to jail. Adrien was not to blame and was unofficially adopted by Marinette’s parents, which resulted in him spending a lot of time at the bakery. Adrien’s mom and Gabriel both revealed how she was forced into the marriage and forced to use the miraculous against her will. She got a divorce and ensured that Adrien got therapy. He was able to quit modeling and even got a restraining order against Lila just in case. He revealed himself to Marinette after a month and they decided to date. Her class did everything to make it up to the bluenette, but she merely shrugged at their words. She could care less now. They only wanted her to be their friend again because she was Ladybug. She and Chat announced their retirement to Paris two weeks after Hawkmoth’s defeat, although she still got to see Tikki and Plagg. It seemed like getting akumatized was the best thing that had happened to her.

[aceofpandas]

What-if for Season 4

So at the end of season 3’s episode “Ladybug” we see that Adrien "asking” Lila to get Marinette back in school and what not. Words are spoken and wow just look at how they’re spoken:

That line right there! Okay so I watched this episode in English and in [Latin American] Spanish and wow the way that line is spoken. Both voice actors really conveyed how Adrien would channel his anger. It’s not an emotion we really got to see in Adrien before but in both languages the barely contained anger is something I feel is in line with what we know about Adrien who controls and is conscious of his emotions. It got me thinking about how passive aggressive this boy really is and man oh man how I wish that it get’s worked into season 4. Passive aggressive Adrien Agreste vs. resident liar/manipulator Lila Rossi. Yaaaas sign me up.

Hopefully, this side of him is explored next season and we can finally give Adrien some rivals who can help us explore his character a little more. This ending suggests that Lila is completely in Adrien’s danger radar and he’ll be in Protect Marinette Mode (similar to his Protect Ladybug Mode). In fact, the scene pictured above aligns with his self-sacrificial tendencies that he has as Chat Noir. Lots of people have mentioned that agreeing to the photoshoot is him selling his soul,  but he also establishes that he won’t ever have a genuine friendship with Lila. Bring on the war!

I personally think that Adrien, who we know isn’t too confrontational, will take a subtle approach. And how can he do that? Well, he could channel his inner actor where he can certainly play the part of “friend” while simultaneously working to discredit Lila. 

Like you can not tell me that Adrien, who’s enrolled in a bunch of activities, was not enrolled in acting classes at some point in his homeschooled life. His mom was an actress, so it’s not like his parents would be against the idea of acting lessons. He was even the VA for his own superhero persona in canon’s LB+CN movie lmaoooo. Yes, he’s a model and very much loved by the people of Paris so perhaps being chosen for the role isn’t too surprising, but that also doesn’t mean he has no talent or training for it. Let’s be real, modeling could be the compromise to his parents wanting their son to follow in their footsteps. Modeling is the fashion from his dad and the art of perfecting his facial expressions from his mom.

And like even if acting lessons were never a thing, his mom was around in his life. We know basically nothing about the woman, so really we can speculate that she showed Adrien a thing or two about acting. Let’s say it was through her that Adrien learned to be expressive, to be not expressive, and to be anywhere in between. His mom could have taught him to roll with what life has to offer through ad libs and improv. Adrien we’ve seen to have a dramatic flair as both Adrien and Chat Noir, and he honestly controls his temper waaaay better than we give him credit. Sure he makes mistakes, but really he’s human and he does learn from them (now if only the writing could keep character development for its characters but yeeaaaah).

Here’s a scenario where Adrien can start his stop Lila campaign:

Adrien and Lila are interviewed about the recent shoot and you know questions roll around about how was it working with together, they’re classmates right, are the two dating, yada yada

Adrien answering and not even trying to let Lila get the first word in because the boy is on high alert and knows this girl will try to spin it in her favor

“Oh, it was surprising my father even thought of letting one of my classmates model with me. In fact, I didn’t even know Lila was interested in modeling. Still, it was interesting to work with someone new to the field.”

Which on the surface seems like an ordinary, polite response; appropriate of Adrien but it’s also everything Adrien needs to corner Lila. 

In all of three sentences Adrien says he played no part in making the photoshoot happen, effectively shuts down the possibility of dating Lila, and establishes to the public that Lila is nothing more than a classmate, one he doesn’t even know well.

Lila is annoyed but she’s not giving up because she’s under the impression that Adrien is far too agreeable and spineless therefore she writes him off as Not a Threat

Hahahaha jokes, Adrien plays on people underestimating him

“Well, I didn’t want you to think that I wanted to make it seem like I was using you because we’re friends and friends don’t do that.”

Or something along those lines I dunno

“That’s the great thing about our class everyone is so nice that we can all be friends. Lots of us are so creative and I love getting to know everyone. Nathaniel, Lila’s desk mate, is a great artist; sketching, painting, he’s your guy. He’s currently working on a superhero comic with Marc from the other class and I can’t wait for what else they come up with for the sequel. Ivan, who sits in front of Nathaniel, he’s a rockin’ drummer, and Rose, she’s another one of our classmates, killer voice and awesome lyrics. Her best friend, Juleka plays bass and I’ve actually modeled with her before. Nothing official, but since I know Juleka wants to be a model I honestly thought she was going to be the one I was modeling with for this shoot. Sure it wasn’t a huge shoot, but Juleka did such a great job. And the clothes we modeled were made by our everyday Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Marinette, she’s also our class rep by the way, is such a brilliant designer! Did you know that she actually won one of my father’s contests? Her hat was adored by Audrey Bourgeois AND she was offered the chance to move to New York. And you know…”

Basically, Adrien ends up spending the rest of the interview talking about how much he knows about his friends and “gee it’s such a shame I don’t really know much about you Lila.”

Read: you aren’t special, I have more friends, and I actually pay attention to them.

Bonus point: Alec is the one who interviews them and he picks up on Lila becoming more and more frustrated with Adrien. 

Pretty in character for him to poke the bear *cough* Stormy Weather *cough* so for him to let Adrien take the reins of the interview for the sake of drama isn’t that much of a stretch.

Alec: What about Lila? 

Adrien: I don’t know, I really don’t want to get anything wrong so she can answer

The next day, the interview is the only thing anyone can talk about 

Adrien’s classmates gushing about how sweet Adrien is because he literally showed them that he really cares about them. 

Adrien remembering all this information about all of them and hyping everyone up on TV!!

Friends know each other’s dreams and likes and dislikes and Adrien isn’t known to have lots of free time, but him making the effort to remember all that about each person is flattering to the class

Let Adrien show how much he appreciates and admires his friends pleeeeeeease

Lila can be in the background plotting how to paint Adrien in a bad light 

But uhhh the class is going full Protect This Precious Boy at this point so your plan has to be fool-proof Lila

Bonus point: the class is now more sus of Lila after the whole Marinette-got-expelled-and-then-unexpelled (which is still fresh in their minds). 

No one get’s an expulsion reversed unless they’re innocent 

And dude Lila was in the middle of that whole mess. 

Whatever Lila did shows she has the power to get any of them expelled. 

If the kids aren’t at least wary of Lila in season 4, then the writers really be tripping because too many red flags around Lila for people to just wave them off.

In other news, Marinette starts to trend after enough of Adrien’s fans connect the dots that she’s the same girl who they chased around that time she and Adrien went to the movies

If the majority of Parisians weren’t convinced they were dating back then, oh boy they at least ship it by this point hahahaha

[mexicancat-girl]

Ok guys, I can't take it, I’m seriously at my limit here.

Uraraka vs Bakuboi was a sham of a fight and none of it makes any goddamn sense.

Uraraka deserved her win, for multiple reasons.

Shout out to @bnhasalt, who’s post reminded me how indignantly furious this arc makes me.

More under the cut over both how salty I am, and how Uraraka losing against Explodo Kills makes absolutely no sense, even narratively.

(Warning ahead for a discussion on sexism, misogyny, forced fanservice, the blatant favoritism towards That One Specific Character even if unearned in the narrative, and the general incompetence on how to write female characters.

I call B/kugo “Bakuboi” in this analysis bc I don’t want to write his Actual Name out and have it pop up in his character tags. Also, heads up, I’m sorry for how messy and long this rant is )

First, can I just say that Horikoshi is uhhhh Bad at writing female characters?

Which I’m sure many female fans already have an inkling about, but goddamn is it never more obvious than in the Sports Festival Arc. Because hey, at least the female characters are THERE and PARTICIPATING and have their own time to shine! This ISN’T one of those arcs that just stars THE BOYS, so that MUST mean this arc is equal opportunity! Right...?

God, I wish. I wish...

See, the girls are the minority of the Sports Fest in general. It shouldn’t be this way. And quite frankly, the fact that the classes (and UA in general) isn’t closer to being a 50/50 gender split also makes no sense, considering all children are raised in a society that values heroism EQUALLY and almost half the population is male and half female.

But, okay, let’s say I actually believe in the most illogical character ratio imagineable of there being a 2 boy to 1 girl, like this is another round of Naruto But It’s Superheroes So It’s Different I Swear.

We all know that there is going to be an emphasis on Izuku, since he’s the protagonist and he wants to make All Might proud during the Sports Festival.

Pre-Festival, there’s the reveal that Uraraka wants to do her best, with her main motivation of becoming a hero to give her parents a good life. Iida also wants to make his own family proud, specifically his brother, because of his family legacy. 

Since these three are a trio, you’d think they’d all get some time to shine, right? Since they’re Izuku’s friends? And Izuku considers them his equals?

Yeah, no. Wrong.

This arc is dominated by Izuku, Shoto, and Bakuboi. That becomes clear very quickly. 

I knew I shouldn’t expect much, since these three are powerhouses and also the most popular characters of the entire franchise (just look at the popularity polls) but still. I’d thought at least Uraraka would get a chance to shine! Since we get some character development and motivation revealed from her!

But the female characters in general get done so dirty this arc, despite it being first set up as a perfect arc to let the girls have just as much opportunity to participate as their male peers.

The most significant part of the female characters all getting an ‘equal time to shine’ is when He Who Must Not Be Mentioned and Kaminari trick the girls into dressing as scantily-clad cheerleaders. Which is both Tiring and Unncessary.

(This scheme also shouldn’t have worked because Momo is Vice Rep and she is an intelligent girl, top of her class. She would be smart enough to go to a teacher and actually double-check to see if Class 1-A girls really needed to cheer in the activities portion of the Sports Festival. 

But noooo, Horikoshi can’t pass up a chance for FANSERVICE and forcing his underaged female characters to be uncomfortable for The Funnies! Thanks! I hate it!)

The female characters that move onto the final round of the Sports Festival, and thusly have the most attention, are: Uraraka, Mei Hatsume from Support, Momo, Mina, and Shiozaki from 1-B.

Wow, I sure wish these girls could like...show their worth. And maybe NOT get steamrolled and easily tossed aside in their matches because they’re facing Boys and Boys Have Strong Offense-based Quirks, That’s The Rules Folks.

(Before you come at me, I know that isn’t a rule that applies to every single male character in the series, but the strongest and offense-based Quirks tend to go to the male characters, while the female characters tend to get more support-based Quirks. It’s both sexist, but also an inherent trend in media in general. Please Just Let Women Punch Shit To Smithereens And Control The Elements.)

Yes, Mina and Shiozaki won their first rounds easily! And that’s great to see! But then we turn right around, and they're eliminated just as quickly in their second matches! Without even a fighting chance!

Good God, Shiozaki is literally PUSHED OUT OF THE RING. That’s it, that’s how she lost. Same thing with Momo in her match! And Mei straight-up forfeits because her character is based more on advertising her inventions/babies, so she doesn’t even fight.

So essentially, the female characters are shucked away if they’re not used to make the male characters look good, or there for fanservice, or there to show a shallow form of ~feminism~ so Horikoshi can pat himself on the back and say “See! Girls strong! I can write girls!”

And now we get to the meat of things: Uraraka.

Oh, poor Uraraka. Out of all the female characters, your potential was the greatest, and also the most squandered...

As a reminder, at the start of the arc, Uraraka speaks with both Izuku and Iida about how she wants to do well in the Sports Fest. They all promise to do their best. Izuku’s friends admit that they want to face him in later matches, because they want to be his equals.

Uraraka wanted to stand on the same level as Izuku and Iida, but she's the only one that doesn't move on past her first match!

And man, what an absolute bogus match it is.

Is it emotional? Yeah. Did I tear up when I watched it? Sure, every single time! But that's more because Uraraka is one of my favorite characters and I feel empathy for her and thought she deserved better.

The match gets to me because I also hate how Bakuboi is so fucking entitled and gets everything handed to him on a silver platter.

Bakuboi himself is written as, essentially, a Gary Stu. He always wins. ALWAYS. And even when he ‘loses’, he still manages to beat his opponents to the point that they need to be hospitalized (see Izuku vs Kacchan pt 1) or he makes his losses ALL ABOUT HIMSELF by twisting logic to fit his own narrative.

Remember how Bakuboi won against Todoroki in the final match? And was so pissed at him he was ready to Physically Assault Todoroki for him not being able to Get Over His Trauma to go 100% during their match? And even though Bakuboi LITERALLY won the entire Sports Festival, he’s so entitled that he demands a rematch because he feels like he “didn’t actually win”?

Not wanting a rematch for Todoroki’s sake, because Todoroki has been through a rough time and Bakuboi overheard Todo’s Tragic Abusive Backstory. Oh no, that would make too much sense and show too much character growth, we can’t have that! Bakuboi, even when winning the Sports Festival, demanded a rematch because he wanted to beat the shit out of Todoroki AGAIN to assert his dominance.

You see, Bakuboi is always rewarded in the narrative. Even when he loses it’s not seen as his fault. He’s never really punished for it, and he never learns any lessons from his losses.

Ah, and let’s not forget, Katsuki Bakuboi has the Best And Strongest Quirk Ever. Strong enough to even do the impossible and work to his advantage when it shouldn’t!

Like how he SOMEHOW manages to ‘beat the odds’ by breaking the laws of physics to win in Round 2. He manages to PUNCH THROUGH A QUIRK THAT CREATES A SOLID WALL from 1-B’s Tsuburaba in order to get back his team’s headband and move on to Round 3.

Or hey, his finishing move, Howlitzer Impact? Doesn’t make any sense either. It shouldn’t work as a...cyclone? Tornado? Drill thing? 

Look, the logistics of it shouldn’t work. Yes, this is anime, but do you HONESTLY think that a teenager YEETING himself in a fast spiral will somehow accomplish anything more than spreading out some explosions in a circle around him? You honestly think any other character would be able to pull that bullshit off WITHOUT upchucking their entire lunch?

But because it’s Bakuboi, it works somehow. Because Bakuboi’s Quirk is The Shining Beacon Of Quirks. 

Drawbacks? Sure, he SUPPOSEDLY has them. They’re noted in his character profile and everything. But very rarely do those supposed “drawbacks” ever actually come into play and actually, like, stop him. Or slow him down. Or, yknow, ACTUALLY WORK LIKE DRAWBACKS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK.

Because apparently, human limits don’t exist for Katsuki fucking Bakuboi, nope, not at all!

One of Bakuboi’s "drawbacks" is supposed to be that he can't overexert himself or he can fuck up his wrists/his forearms will start to ache. 

Cool cool cool, except...This rarely slows him down or effects him at all. 

It’s actually astounding he hasn’t given himself Carpel Tunnel, because that would be a natural consequence to over-using his Quirk. Hell, he should be fucking up his arms almost as much as Izuku does to his own arms with a destructive Quirk like OFA! Explosions are dangerous and cause massive destruction, and that should be fucking up his arms SOMEHOW!

But, nope. Bakuboi is as fresh as a goddamn daisy. He can Never Have A Weakness.

(Another drawback is cold weather/Winter season is supposed to weaken his Quirk. Makes sense, since heat would help him produce more nitroglycerin sweat, and the cold would make it hard to sweat. But that sure as hell didn’t stop him during the Joint Training Arc in the future, and he didn’t struggle whatsoever to almost singlehandedly win that for his team.)

Not ONCE does Bakuboi’s Quirk ever effect him negatively and forces him to weaken! He keeps using his Quirk like it's nothing!!

And that’s the crux of the entire problem with Uraraka vs Bakuboi’s match.

Bakuboi apparently has “drawbacks” and “limits”, but he keeps somehow managing to break them without a sweat (ha) and without consequence, essentially PULLING WINS OUT OF HIS ASS.

Bakuboi was using his Quirk LITERALLY NONSTOP during Round 1, and kept using it to throw himself around in Round 2. Logically, he should’ve fucked his arms up and been at the very least SLOWED DOWN by the third round of the Sports Fest because he went past what were SUPPOSED to be his Quirk’s canonical limitations and logic!

It would've taught Bakuboi that he can't fucking steamroll through all his problems! He has limits! There are consequences to over using his Quirk! He’s a human being and he doesn’t have endless stamina like some sort of God!

Hell, every other character has these limits very clearly shown and outlined with their Quirks! Uraraka throws up when she over-uses Zero Gravity. Shoto, before using his fire side, would get frostbite. Iida’s Engines will stall after using Recipro Burst.

The other characters have limitations to their Quirks that slows them down, shows consequences for their actions, but Bakuboi NEVER HAS ANY.

THIS is why he’s a Gary Stu. THIS is why he won his match against Uraraka.

Not because of any logic. Because HIS QUIRK HAS NO FLAWS. And on top of that, THE NARRATIVE KEEPS REWARDING HIM, EVEN WHEN HE HASN’T EARNED IT.

Bakuboi SHOULD have been weakened from using his Quirk non-stop. Bakuboi SHOULD NOT have managed to pull out that “one final big explosion” that ruined Uraraka’s final attack.

Bakuboi was literally hissing about his arms hurting earlier, before their match started. And Uraraka forced him to use his Quirk so much that she managed to amass a ton of debris to knock him out and win the match. HIS EXPLOSIONS SHOULD HAVE SPUTTERED OUT, AND NOT SAVED HIM WITH THAT LAST-SECOND ASSPULL.

Like, I’m preeeeetty sure the entire reason Horikoshi wrote Uraraka vs Bakuboi in the first place was because he was attempting at writing Feminism.

See, Bakuboi Hates Everyone Equally, he’s not a violent misogynist for beating up Uraraka! It’s a Match, he Respects Women And Sees Them As Equals! The Crowd of Pro Heroes are the ones being Misogynistic and Judging The Match Early!

And look at Uraraka, she’s a Strong Woman! She keeps getting back up! That’s the Shonen Spirit! And she’s smart, too! Look at her amazing plan to win--

Oh, wait. Wait, nope. She didn’t win at all! :) Because our shining beacon of perfection Katsuki Bakuboi never loses!! :)) Look at all her hopes and dreams being blown to literal smithereens, because of Bakuboi’s ass pull, even though he shouldn’t have had enough time, sweat, and strength to muster up that last explosion!!! :)))

Can ya’ll feel my incandescent fury right now?

Because Horikoshi can NEVER write Bakuboi losing, Uraraka COULDN’T HAVE WON, even if her winning makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE.

This scene was supposed to show Uraraka’s strength. But it feels like Uraraka is being literally spit in her face, for even DARING to TRY to win against Katsuki fucking Bakuboi.

How much more impactful would Uraraka’s breakdown have been, if she had moved onto the Second Round with Izuku and Iida? How she would feel ashamed that she couldn’t keep up with them, with how Powerful their Quirks are? Especially after seeing Izuku and Todoroki’s amazing match, and seen how destructive and close a match it had been?

How DEVASTATED she would have felt, beating BAKUBOI--one of the strongest of their class!--and then STILL managing to lose the Sports Festival?

That would have been SO much more interesting! And even SADDER!! C’mon!

Uraraka SHOULD have won her match! It would’ve provided both character development for herself, and for Bakuboi! Bakuboi would realize he has limits to his body and Quirk, and realize not to underestimate his opponents! Uraraka would realize that she’s strong in spite of her Quirk not being necessarily combat-oriented, but still has a long way to go in being a Pro Hero!

But, nooooo. We can’t have CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, can we? We ESPECIALLY can’t have THE FEMALE CHARACTERS IMPACTING THE PLOT IN SOME WAY, either! Or--what’s this? FEMALE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY HAVING THE SPOTLIGHT FOR ONCE? Perish the thought!

The only good parts about this godforsaken arc are 1) Mei Hatsume 2) Hitoshi Shinso and 3) Izuku vs Todoroki fight and Todoroki’s Tragic Backstory Reveal. Everything else is hit-or-miss, if not completely hot garbage.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk, and for reading this entire thing! Four for you, reader. You go, reader.

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Bechloe for the angst one :D

Yesss, we do love some Bechloe angst 😂

Who is more likely to get injured doing small tasks:

Beca definitely. Chloe is always joking that she should have become a people doctor rather than an animal one, and is forever having to buy band-aids and antiseptic wipes in to fix Beca up when she somehow manages to cut her self making cereal. 

Who worries more about the other:

Chloe. She’s always been a worrier, but it’s always worse when it comes to the people she loves. Beca loves that Chloe worries about her but it can be draining sometimes when Chloe is really in her own head, especially when Beca is away on tour and Chloe is texting her constantly, calling her when she doesn’t respond to three text messages in a row. It’s not that Chloe is crazy possessive, it’s just that when the people she love leave her for long periods of time they very rarely come back.

Who is more afraid about the other leaving them:

Both. Beca is always terrified that Chloe will leave her just like her dad left her mom, because no matter how perfect a relationship looks on the outside it only takes on pharmaceutical rep to destroy it (no matter how many times both her parents tell her that there was so much more going on). Chloe is used to losing people that she loves suddenly and out of the blue that she can’t shake the feeling that one day Beca is going to just up and disappear one day too.

Who is more likely to leave (for any reason):

Beca. She has never had the model of a healthy relationship and every time her and Chloe have the slightest fight or disagreement she catastrophises and convinces herself that their over. Normally Chloe can talk her down and Beca has been getting better, but after a huge fight (which neither of them can remember who or why it started) Beca spins out and runs to Seattle to her mom. Thankfully, Chloe understands what’s happened, and despite the fact that she’s still mad about the fight and a little mad at Beca for just running away, Chloe puts her fears to one side about Beca leaving her and goes to Seattle to fix things.

Who is more likely to drunkenly confess:

Both. College-age Bechloe are dumbasses and pining idiots and the Bellas are sick of them tiptoeing around it so hope that getting them a little drunk will help them be more loose lipped with their feelings. It backfires a little when Beca and Chloe get drunker than they mean them too and giving all the tension there has been lately, and it’s in the middle of a fight about the Worlds and Beca not telling Chloe about the internship that Beca blurts out “Has it ever occurred to you that the reason I worry about you obsessing over Worlds like this is because I love you and I’m worried about you?” to which Chloe yells back “Yeah well did you ever think that the reason I’m so mad at you for hiding stuff from me is because I love you too?” There’s a beat whilst they both try and take this in, realising what they just said. It’s not the most romantic way of doing things, but at least they can stop tiptoeing around it now.

Who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason):

Beca, she says it herself she pushes everyone away. Even after years of knowing Chloe she still feels like it’s safer to pull away and keep her cards close to her chest because it means that she won’t be heartbroken when Chloe inevitably leaves her. It doesn’t matter how often Chloe tries to tell her that it’s okay to feel her feelings, that Beca talking to her about the deep stuff isn’t going to make her run away, Beca still struggles to open up to her. Over the years she gets better at it, but there’s always a part of her that she wants to keep to herself just in case.

Who picks fights more often:

Surprisingly, Chloe. It’s Beca that holds back her feelings and pushes away, but it’s Chloe that picks a fight when she’s frustrated, and her temper can be as firey as her hair. More often than not, it’s the only way to get Beca to be honest about how she’s feeling and Chloe hates it. In the later years of their relationship they’ve moved past behaviour like this, but Chloe is still the one that picks a fight, even if they’re more teasing these days than an actual argument.

Who usually apologizes first:

Beca usually apologises constantly and for every little thing that doesn’t need apologising for, but when it comes to the big stuff it’s Chloe that apologises first (usually because she started the fight). Beca and Chloe can both be hot tempered and hard headed, but they always apologise and talk about it in a healthy way afterwards. Just because they’re emotionally driven people doesn’t mean that they’re disrespectful of each other and can’t recognise when they’re in the wrong.

Who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other:

Beca. She’s really bad about talking about how she feels as it is. Beca constantly feels like how she feels is somehow wrong or inadequate in some way so keeps it to herself. She’s been in the closet so long that it’s amazing she can find her way out of it, scared of what her dad will say, what her mom will say, what the Bellas will say. And more than that, Beca doesn’t feel worthy of Chloe. Of this bright eyed, bubbly, beautiful woman who sees something in Beca that she can’t see in herself and never has. Chloe does hide her feelings from Beca, yes, but only because she doesn’t think she feels the same way and she’s a lot more open and tactile with her anyway.

Who is more likely to lash out at the other:

Chloe. Neither of them are ever physical obviously, but Chloe’s temper is red hot, and with that comes some very aggressive verbal moments that Chloe immediately regrets and wants to take back. Beca very rarely brings out this response from Chloe, it’s only happened twice in their whole relationship, but it’s a side of Chloe that she never expected and doesn’t really like... except when Chloe is defending her and their family (Bellas and otherwise). Then? Well, then it’s kinda hot...

Who gets more jealous:

Chloe. She doesn’t mean to, but when Beca is away on tour and she’s stuck in New York at vet school or the clinic it’s hard not to be jealous of all the people who do get to spend loads of time with Beca. Chloe does not think for a minute that Beca will cheat on her, that’s not what it is. It’s that she sees all these people who get to be around Beca all the time whilst Beca is her amazing self and singing and performing (something that has always been a bond between the two of them) and it feels, sometimes, like she’s losing that bond with Beca, the thing that bonded them together in the first place. It’s their thing. 

Who is more likely to support the other in a relationship with someone else “as long as they’re happy”:

Chloe. She did for all four years of Beca dating Jesse. Seeing him and Beca together always broke her heart, but she would convince herself (and Aubrey who would often tell her to just get over herself and tell Beca how she felt) that Beca was happy and that’s all that mattered. If she knew how unhappy Beca had been with Jesse, how wrong it felt, how much Beca wished she’d kissed Chloe instead of Jesse after the ICCA finals, then she would have kicked herself for not speaking out sooner.

These were so much fun!!! Thanks mate!!! 💖🥰

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my angsty or domestic headcanons!

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Summary: I read on the Death Note wiki, that Light and L even use different or “opposite/rival” computers (I know for sure that they said L uses apple, and I think they said Light uses Dell? If not, I’ll edit it if someone tells me). So I decided to write a story about it.

Ace It

It had been a long day for everyone at task force headquarters, with once again no leads. L had started the day feeling depressed, and that emotion had only lingered after he and Light had gotten into their fist fight.

Now the two of them were finally retiring to bed for the night—well, Light would be, anyway—but the first thing L heard when he brought out his laptop onto the mattress, was Light laughing hysterically.

And though L certainly didn't want to show it… it made his hair stand on end, as he imagined that the younger man may have finally come up with the perfect way to kill him.

If he were to actually die now, L decided that he wouldn't give his only "friend" the satisfaction of seeing him afraid. No. He would meet his end as stoically as he had anything else in this long, hard life.

"Light-kun," L practically sang; and his own bravado shocked him. "Your eerie laughing right now... isn't doing you any favors in making me think you may not be Kira. So, I recommend you stop doing it. And if you've just simply cracked from the intense and stressful day that we have had, I suggest that you sleep."

That shut Light up. And the college student sent a glare L's way, before he rubbed at his eye in what seemed to be a tired manner. "As if you'll even let me sleep, as you continue to type away loudly on that keyboard of yours," Light said under his breath. But L pretended he hadn't heard him, like Light apparently had hoped he hadn’t.

"I am sorry that I lost it like that, Ryuzaki. I’m just exhausted�� And I just noticed for the first time that you use a mac… which is hilarious to me."

L already knew he was going to regret asking Light to elaborate on that, and he was half-tempted to ignore Light’s comment. After all, he’d heard before why so many people put down Apple products. But knowing this was surely some other part of their game, L leveled a glowered in Light’s direction all the same, and asked very coldly, “And why is that, Light-kun?”

And it was at this point—after L had shockingly put his own laptop away—that Light pulled his own out from under the bed, to surely show L why his was the superior model or some such nonsense. L sighed, before running a hand down his face. Why, oh why, had he decided that having a pissing contest with this narcissistic teenager was a good idea?

“Well, they don’t get a good rep. As I’m sure you know. So, I’m surprised the greatest detective in the world would use them. They have that swirly ball of death or whatever. But I can also see why you’d go for them, since they have an easy reset, if you ever wanted to take adventure of that. I’m sure you’d love a soft reset with me, wouldn’t you? Where you could send me back to being Kira again, like you believe I was, and we could completely get back to our passive-aggressive encounters in your eyes. So, yeah: I say no to macs. It’s Dell for me.”

L thought very strongly of not responding to any of that. He was even tempted to pretend to be asleep—or maybe actually try and go to sleep for a change—because he didn’t want to have any bit of this silly conversation… partly because what Light had just said rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. He was certain that Light was insinuating that L would happily say and do things but then erase them, since he’d lied about being his friend.

But L didn’t understand why that should make him feel bad, when all detectives did anything they had to for a case, and since L imagined that Light was planning to do much worse things to him. Probably even now, though he was playing innocent like the best actor in a play… But even so, Light had him feel awful now. Surely because he’d made him doubt his own moral superiority.

L didn’t want to seem like he was angry again. No. That was more Light’s forte, when L finally pushed him far enough. Instead, he huffed and glanced over at Light “tiredly”, as if none of this was really even worth his time. And truly, it wasn’t. "I'll have you know, Light, that I didn't get an apple computer for the easy reset. And, no: I wouldn't want to reset your lousy attitude, even if I had the ability to. Since I, unlike Kira, am not a tyrant. I got it, because I've just had bad luck with Dells for some reason and couldn't be bothered to try them again, okay? It just wasn’t worth the time.

"But if anyone should be accused of anything, it should be your liking Dells because they're easy to operate. The God of the New World wants everything to be easy for his coming reign, doesn’t he? Which is why you'll kill me."

As soon as L had said that, Light was on top of the detective before he could even register it: slamming him into the headboard—which was such an act of violence, it only furthered L’s suspicions—while Light was contrite in another way, in looking away and blushing. "If you have to know everything, ‘Oh, Great Detective’… I like Dells because when I was learning English for the first time—when I was three—I did this ridiculous, 'If you want to get a computer that works well, get a Dell!' skit with a toddler classmate from pre-school. And it's somehow a positive memory for me, okay? So, the thought of Dells have just stayed with me all this time, which is why I buy them. But I do think the programming for them is better. I’m not gonna lie."

Suddenly, L found himself laughing uproariously, as Light stayed atop him. Because leave it to them, to have such a pointless conversation at three in the morning and to get so riled up about it. And it did not matter in the grand scheme of things. Not at all.

As soon as L had begun guffawing, the young man began giggling too. And then he was jostled by both of their movements so much, that Light fell back to his side of the bed with a hand over his face this time, and they both finally calmed down.

"We're morons, aren't we? Not unlike Matsuda-san, I suppose,” L finally asked the golden question, as he peered over at Light for just a second—imagining a different future for them if things could be different. “Despite everything, we don't like our chosen PC companies because we’re trying to spite each other, but because we simply must complement each other in every way, I guess. Who knows? Maybe in some life, it is complimenting and we don’t even hurt each other like we do here.”

“Maybe so,” Light agreed wistfully. And after saying so, Light swiftly fell asleep. And L couldn’t even find it within himself to be jealous of how the land of dreams came so easily to Light Yagami anymore.

Unbeknownst to the other… the next day, the both of them would decide to buy acer products from now on—for a certain reason that neither would ever tell the other one.

[p-artsypants]

Perfect, No Matter What

In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice. 

At least Adrien gets some kisses out of it. 

I’ve been watching ‘Botched’ while I work remotely and it took me to dangerous places.

Ao3 | FF.net

—

You know the phrase, ‘beauty is pain’? Well, some people knew that better than others.

Especially Adrien Agreste. 

Diets, rigorous exercise, intense skin care routine including microdermabrasion, UV treatment, and teeth whitening. 

Perfection. 

And he hated it.

At this point in his life, he feared that his slew of doctors thought he was horribly vain. 

Really, he was just the victim of a highly critical father. 

On a Friday, Adrien prepared for school as usual. He dressed casually, lightly styled his hair, and ate breakfast. 

As he came back down the stairs after grabbing his bag, his father was waiting for him. 

“Father?” 

“Just here to see you off to school.” 

That was new, and concerning, to say the least. “Oh…thanks?” 

“Hmm,” Gabriel hummed, stepping into his personal space. Without another word, he hooked his thumb around Adrien’s chin, manipulating his head in different directions. 

“What?”

“Hush.” 

Adrien just waited in fear as his father examined him, turning his face this way and that, and a look of displeasure was growing on his face, stronger and stronger. 

Finally, blessedly, he pulled away. “That will be all. Get off to school.” 

“Uh…okay.” 

With confusion and paranoia, Adrien went to school. 

—

The day continued on as normal. No akumas, no unnecessary drama, easy homework, nothing to stress about.

And nothing to bring Adrien’s attention away from his father’s strange behavior this morning. 

The class before lunch, his paranoia picked up when Nathalie interrupted the lesson.

“Pardon the intrusion, Adrien has a doctor’s appointment, and will be out for the rest of the day.” 

This was news to him, and he could only gape. 

“Come on Adrien, get your stuff. Is one of your friends willing to take notes?” 

“Marinette will!” Alya volunteered. 

“Y-yeah! Of course I will!” 

“See to it that you drop it off at the mansion after school.” 

“I have fencing after school, we have a tournament tomorrow.” Adrien pointed out, while still shoveling his books into his bag. 

“I’m afraid you won’t be participating in the tournament, or any other weekend activities.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I’ll explain in the car, please now, hurry.” 

Adrien did as told, not before casting a fearful look to his friends. 

—

Marinette couldn’t stop thinking about Adrien. 

Not that it was any different than usual, but that look on his face…

It was haunting. 

The look of complete horror and loss. To be fair, if she had received the same news he had, she probably would have been blindsided as well. 

The reaction at the house when she brought his homework wasn’t insightful either. Just like every time she brought something for him, the camera came out, the drawer opened, and that was it. No communication, no nothing. 

“I don’t know Tikki, should I text him? Or would that be weird? Does he know I have his number?” 

“Marinette, I’m sure he’d love to get a text from you. Just ask him if he got the notes.” 

“Great idea! Simple! I can’t butcher it!” She took out her phone and read aloud as she typed. “Hey Adrien…it’s Marinette. Alya gave me your number…did you get the homework? Let me know if anything is unclear, or if you need anything else.” 

“Good!”

“Would a heart be too much?” 

“It might be a comfort for him? Sending him love in his isolation.” 

“Okay. Heart. And send!” She hit the button and nearly threw her phone in anxiety. 

Then she waited.

And waited.

And waited. 

An hour or so passed as she tapped her foot with tense energy. 

“Whatever he was pulled for is probably still going on. I wouldn’t worry about it, Marinette. Adrien isn't the type to leave someone on read.” 

Taking a calming breath, Marinette nodded in agreement. “You’re right, I’ll just suck it up! I might hear from him tonight.” 

So she spent the day doing homework, and a bit of various projects to stay busy. 

Nearing patrol time, Plagg showed up on her desk, spooking her. “Hey pigtails.” 

“Ah! Plagg! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Chat? It’s almost time for patrol.” 

“Nah, not for him!” 

“This is joint patrol. It’s Friday night.” 

“Yeah, well I’m here to let you know that he won’t be joining you tonight, and I left him because I knew he was going to try to transform, and he’s in no shape to!” 

“Is he sick? Injured?” 

“Injured.” Plagg confirmed. “Not dire, and he’s already been treated…though there was no reason to be hurt in the first place.” He muttered that last part to himself. 

“Is he okay?” 

The little cat shrugged. “Eh, probably. Little trauma never hurt anyone. It’s over now.”

“What happened?” 

“That, I can’t tell you. Though I’m sure you’ll see it eventually. I’d just prefer to let this play out naturally and see what happens.” 

“You really are chaotic, aren’t you?” 

He beamed. “Only the most chaotic. Well, I’m here to join you, so you aren’t patrolling alone. That way he’ll be happy, and you’ll be happy that he’s not out with an injury.” 

“That’s bizarrely considerate of you.” She snorted. 

“I know, aren’t I the best?” 

She scratched him between the ears. “The best. Now let’s go!” 

—

Monday morning finally came. Marinette had finally received a response from Adrien on Saturday, which was just ‘yes I did, thank you!’ with a little heart as well. 

It melted her a little. 

But Adrien didn’t elaborate any more. It was complete radio silence from him, both to her, and to Nino, who had also tried to reach out. 

But now it was Monday, and hopefully he would be here. 

“Chloe,” Nino asked. “Did you hear anything from Adrien this weekend?” 

“No!” She exasperated. “I called him like nine times, and not once did he answer! Nathalie said he was sleeping when I called her. And Gabriel didn’t answer either. It was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” 

“He confirmed that he got my notes, but didn’t say anything else to me.” Marinette added. “I’m kinda worried.” 

“Me too. He should be here by now.” 

Luckily, the tension didn’t last long, as Adrien’s extremely tired voice spoke from the doorway. “Hi guys…” 

Record scratch. 

He looked hideous. 

Both eyes were black, with huge purple swollen bags on each cheek. It was swollen so bad, his eyes were half shut. A thick bandage rested on the top of his nose, and over the nostrils, leaving just the little pink tip poking out. 

“Dude!”

“Hey…” He couldn’t even smile, and looked to be in a lot of pain. He shuffled to his seat and sat down. 

“What happened bro? You look like you got hit by a bus!”

“You really shouldn’t even be here.” Alya added. “That looks really bad.” 

“My dad didn’t want me to come, but I begged him. I already missed half of Friday. I didn’t want to fall behind.” 

“Yeah, but like, what happened?”

Adrien hesitated a moment, and then admitted, “I ran into a wall.” 

Chloe scoffed, glaring at him with an absolutely disgusted look on her face. “Sure, right.” 

“You broke your nose?” 

“Yeah, really badly. Doctor got me all fixed up though. I’ll be fine!” 

Marinette wasn’t convinced, however. It was weird that he had been pulled out of school for some sudden weekend event, only to show up on Monday with a broken nose. 

Unless Adrien, in a desperate move to get out of the weekend plans, ran headfirst into a wall, which was admittedly kind of funny. 

Or something more sinister was going on instead. 

Nino and Alya continued to badger him about it, but Adrien just reassured them that he was fine. 

But Marinette took notice of the bandage on the inside of his right ear too. How does one damage an ear when running headlong into a wall?

Marinette’s phone buzzed, a message from Chloe, of all people. 

Chloe: I can see that look on your face. Adrien is lying. I want you to get the truth out of him. 

That was surprising! 

Marinette: What? Why me?

Chloe: Because if this is what I think it is, he’ll never admit it to me. And I need to know if I need to be disappointed in him or Gabriel.

Marinette: What are you talking about? And why me?

Chloe: It’s not my place to say, okay? You’re the class rep, and his friend. You’re good at coaxing people to open up. Do this for me and I’ll buy you some fabric or something. Don’t make me beg. 

Marinette considered it. Seeing Adrien look like this quieted that part in her brain that just shouted ‘Adrien Adrien Adrien!’ And brought out ‘He’s hurt, he’s vulnerable, protect him!’ 

Marinette: You don’t need to buy me anything. I’ll try to talk to him, for his sake. I won’t mention you at all. 

Chloe: Good. Let me know the details, alright? I’m very concerned. 

Marinette: Obviously, if you’re asking for my help. 

Chloe: Don’t get used to it. 

Marinette: I won’t. :)

Turns out, Marinette didn’t even need to plan out how she was going to approach Adrien. He made it easy for her. At lunch, he approached her. 

“Hey Marinette, can I talk to you for a sec?” His voice was nasally and groggy. 

“Sure thing!” She chirped, leading him to a quiet corner. Her blood pressure spiked. Did he find out that Chloe had talked to her? Was he about to tell her to mind her own business??

“I have a really big favor to ask, and you can say no, but I just thought...” 

“Whatever you need,” she laid a hand on his arm. “Just say the word.” Okay, maybe she was coming on too strong, but that nose…

He kind of smiled, though it looked painful. “Sorry, I’m not supposed to smile.” 

“Gotcha. We’re serious here.” She steeled her mouth into a neutral grimace. 

“I begged my dad to let me come back to school, but I didn’t realize how tired the...pain meds were making me. Do you think your parents would mind if I crashed on your couch until the end of the day? You’re just so close to school and—“ 

“I understand completely!” She smiled at him, only to make that neutral face a minute later. “I mean, yes. I’m sure it’ll be okay with them. You okay to come now?” 

“Yeah, my chef sent me with some soup in a thermos.” 

“Alright, then let’s go.” 

Over at the bakery, which was blessedly not busy for lunchtime, Sabine noticed Adrien and gasped. 

“Oh honey! What happened?!” 

He winced. “I Uh...I ran into a wall.” 

“He’s already been to the doctor.” Marinette clarified. “He was just wondering if he could nap on the couch for a few hours. The painkillers are making him groggy.” 

Tom came into the room at his wife’s exclamation. “I bet it’s hard to sleep with that too.” 

“Yes, exactly.” Adrien breathed. 

“Of course you can nap upstairs. You’re always welcome whenever!” 

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” 

“You might be better off in Marinette’s room so we don’t disturb you.” 

“Is that okay with you, Marinette?” He asked. 

“Oh! Yes! Of course! Wherever you want! Umm I’ll show you upstairs!” And she gestured him onward. 

In her room, Adrien looked around as he sat his bag down. “You still have the pictures of me.” He said fondly. 

She had forgotten about them in her worry. “Oh! Yep! I like to look at them for inspiration, and to support you, you know?” 

He walked over to her wall and stopped to look at one. “And...if I didn’t look like this anymore? Would you still like them? Like me?” 

What an odd thing to wonder. “Of course. Are you worried that you’re going to look different now because you broke your nose?” 

He was quiet for a moment, then admitted. “Yeah.” 

“Don’t worry, Adrien. I’m sure it’ll heal just fine.” 

“Yeah, I trust you.” 

She awkwardly patted her hands against her thighs. “So...you can use my bed, or you can just use the chaise...” 

“Can I steal that big cat pillow? I’m supposed to sleep sitting up.” 

“Oh yes! Of course!” She scrambled up to grab it for him. “Anything else I can get you? Where’s your soup? I’ll warm it up for you.” 

He gave her that warm and tender smile that made her heart swell. “You’re the best, Marinette.” He took out the thermos from his bag. “Could I also have some water? I’m going to take some more drugs.” 

She giggled, “sure thing. I’ll be back in a sec.” 

She took the soup downstairs and poured it into a bowl, then popped it in the microwave. Then she got a glass of water and a bag of frozen peas and went back upstairs. 

Adrien was reclining on the chaise with his head back, resting. 

“Here’s your water,” she announced, sitting by his side. 

“Ugh, thank you. My face is killing me.” 

She snickered at him. “There’s a mean joke here, but I won’t say it.” 

“You’re not supposed to make me laugh, remember?” 

“Oh right, sorry.” 

He took the water and popped a few pills. “Fair warning, this medicine makes me a wee loopy, so...”

“Well, I’ll be going back after lunch, so you probably won’t embarrass yourself too badly.” 

“Mmm, I trust you won’t tell anyone if I confess my undying love for fried chicken.”

“Your secrets are safe with me.” 

The microwave dinged and she excused herself to get it. The bowl was too hot to take out, or even hold to eat out of. So she took the time to make a sandwich for her own lunch, and grabbed an extra slice of fresh bread for Adrien. 

Returning upstairs, Adrien was reclined again, with the frozen peas on his face. 

“Soups on.” 

“Feed me...” he begged weakly. 

She almost dropped the tray she was carrying. “What? I mean, are you sure? I uh...” 

He made a grabby hand toward her. “Soup soup...” 

“Oh,” she breathed out. “The medicine kicked in fast.” 

“Me want soooooup.” He moaned, absolutely miserable. 

Seeing him so vulnerable and slightly childish was so sad.

And kinda cute.

“Okay, I’ve got it, but you have to sit up first. I don’t want you to spill on yourself.” 

He moaned and groaned as he shimmied up. “Otay?”

Marinette giggled, “Otay.” She set the tray on his lap. “I’m not used to high Adrien.” 

“Hi Marinette.” 

She giggled again, “no, I meant you’re being goofy.” 

“H-yuck.” 

She shook her head. “Eat your soup, Adrien.” 

“Yes mom.” He slowly spooned up his soup. He was quiet as he did so, looking like he was focusing hard on it. His eyes blinked slowly, like he was going to fall asleep at any second. Finally, he pulled away a half empty bowl and held it out to her. 

“You done?” 

He nodded. 

“Okay.” She placed the bowl on the tray and stood. “Let’s get you a blanket.” 

His eyes closed as he settled back down. 

She grabbed a fuzzy blanket from her bed and draped it over him, which he immediately snuggled into. 

“Alright, you rest as long as you need to. I’ll rush back here at the end of school to wake you up.” 

He took her hand. “Mari?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I didn’t run into a wall.” He confessed in a whisper, tears gathering in his eyes. 

Immediately, she sat by his side and grasped his hand. “What happened?”

“I got a nose job.” 

Her jaw dropped. She never imagined Adrien as a vain person, so unless this was for his health, it kind of changed her entire perception of him. 

“I didn’t want to.” A tear streaked down his cheek. “My dad made me. He pulled me out of school and took me to the doctor. They said my cartilage was shattered, probably from all the hits I take as Chat Noir…”

“They said that?” Her mouth was dry.

“They don’t know I’m Chat…no one does. You won’t tell, right Mari? Fried chicken?”

She nodded fervently. “Of course Adrien. My lips are sealed.”

He nodded slowly, starting to relax more. “They had to rebuild my nose. They took cartilage from my rib, and skin from my ear. It hurts all over.” 

“Even with the medication?” 

“I’ll never be good enough.” Another tear rolled down his cheek. “Not for him, not for her…no one.” 

Marinette was torn between the fear of him remembering and forgetting what she was about to do. Nonetheless, she cupped his very bruised cheek. “Adrien. Even if your nose fell right off your face, I…I love you. I think you’re perfect.”  

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Remember when we first met? When I yelled at you over the gum?” 

“Dumb gum…”

“Yeah, I thought you were just like Chloe. Just a spoiled, pretty, rich kid.”

“But I am, I’m such a brat.” He nuzzled his face gently into her hand. 

“No you’re not. It was never your looks that made me like you. It was your kindness. Okay?” 

He slowly blinked at her. “My face hurts.” 

Very gently, she leaned in and kissed the very tip of his nose. “All better.” 

“Mari lucky kiss. Just like lucky charm.” His eyes fell closed. “Don’t tell anyone about nose job, ‘kay? Dad’s not bad, he’s just grieving…” 

Marinette gave a long exhale. Being distant and withdrawn from society? Grieving. Forcing his son to get a nose job at 15? Insane. 

There was just a lot in this conversation that was too much to unpack in the first place. 

File the whole ‘Adrien is Chat Noir’ thing away to freak out about later. 

“I promised, I won’t tell a soul.” Except Chloe, because it seemed like she had guessed it already. 

“Night night…” He mumbled, letting the drugs pass him into the world of slumber. 

She petted his head. “Night kitty.” 

He didn’t say anything else after that, so she safely assumed he finally fell asleep. 

With the calmness that only comes to someone in shock, Marinette collected the dishes and took them downstairs, placing them in the sink. 

Plagg and Tikki quietly followed behind, watching her with concern. 

When the dishes were safe, she slowly turned around, spotting them floating there, gazing at her. 

“I…” She began. “Where to start?” 

“Well, for one thing,” Plagg began. “He hasn’t been that talkative to anyone else all weekend, so he must really trust you.” 

“A nose job! A freaking—plastic surgery! He’s 15! What the hell—who does that!? To their kid!” 

“Oh good,” said Plagg. “She’s not freaking out about the other thing yet.” 

“I mean, if it was a medical thing, like a deviated septum or something, I’d understand, but it didn’t seem like that all! Was it like that? Is he just delusional? Tell me he’s delusional, Plagg.” 

“Well…he is delusional. But his dad said his nose was developing an ‘unsightly hump’ to it.” 

“A hump! A HUMP!!? What if this surgery is botched!? What then, Gabriel!?” She gasped and grabbed Plagg. “PLAGG!” 

“Yes?”

“YOU’RE HERE!” 

“Yes?” 

“HE REALLY IS CHAT NOIR!?” 

“Shout a little louder, I don’t think they heard you in Los Angeles.” 

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod—“ 

Tikki flew up in front of her face. “Marinette, you’re the guardian now. You had to find out eventually.” 

“Yeah, but not while he’s high on painkillers! He’s already had his nose ripped away from him! He didn’t need to lose his identity too!” 

Plagg phased out of her hands. “Why don’t you take a nice calming breath.” 

“I AM CALM!” 

“Yeah, I like to scream when I’m calm too.” 

She sunk to the floor, hyperventilating. 

“What’s the big deal anyway?” Plagg asked, lounging on her thigh. 

“What’s the big deal? What’s the big deal!?”

“Repeating my question is not an answer.” 

“The ‘big deal’ is that Chat Noir and Adrien are the same person! The love of my life, and my partner! The same!” 

“So this is a happy freak out?” 

“No! Yes! I don’t know!” She slapped her hands over her face. “I’m confused.” 

“Obviously.” 

“Okay Plagg, lay off. This is a lot of information to deal with.” Tikki pacified. “It’s a good thing, Marinette. You know, it might be a good idea if he knows who you are. Once he feels better though.”

“I think my brain is about to explode.” 

“Join the club. Man, you got a set of pipes.” 

Marinette took a shaky breath. “Okay, okay, I’m calm. I’m cool! Just…I’ll worry about Chat Noir later. What should I do about Adrien?” 

“Stutter like a moron?” 

“Plagg, seriously, stop.” 

“Killjoy.” 

“What about Adrien?” Tikki urged. 

“Should I call the police or something? Is it legal for a 15 year old to get a nose job?”

Plagg got up and started to float around the kitchen. “It is for the right price.” 

“Chloe wanted to know who she was supposed to be disappointed with. Should I tell her? Do you think she would know what to do?”

“You really want to ask Chloe for advice?”

“This is so out of the realm of what I know!” She threw her hands up. “I know superhero and Miraculous stuff, and designing and fashion, and you know, normal teenage stuff! I don’t know anything about the legal ramifications about illegal nose jobs on minors!” 

Tikki patted her hand. “I think you should talk it over with Chloe. I know you’re pretty disappointed in her because of Miracle Queen, but Adrien is really her only friend. She might be respectful of him. Either way, someone needs to know about it. It’s not okay.” 

Marinette nodded. “Yeah, I suppose she is the best to talk to right now.” She winced. “I can’t believe I’m going to Chloe.” 

“I’ll stay behind with Adrien,” Plagg assured. “Not that I’d want to be anywhere else.” 

“I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else either. Thankfully my parents are home. I’m sure they’ll check on him periodically.” 

“Then all that’s left to do is to go back to school and act like you only got one piece of life changing information instead of two.” Tikki grinned. 

“And who’s better at fibbing than me?” Marinette put her hands on her hips. 

“Ummm, everyone else in the world? Is that a trick question?” 

Marinette groaned. “Just get in the bag.” 

—

Back at school, as soon as she walked in the door, Marinette was grabbed by the wrist and yanked off into a solitary corner. She had expected to be shanghaied by Chloe, but not quite so violently. 

“Soooo?” She asked, once they were alone. “Where’s Adrien? I saw you guys leaving together!” 

“Relax,” Marinette hushed. “He needed a place to lie down for a while and didn’t want to go home. Also, he didn’t want to go far.” 

Chloe pursed her lips. “I suppose that makes sense. So? Did you get it out of him?” 

“Look Chloe, he did tell me what happened, but he asked me not to tell anyone. So I will not confirm that his father made him get a nose job.” 

Chloe grunted, balling up her fists. “That piece of—“ a string of swears came out of her mouth that were completely unladylike. “Alright, what are we going to do?” 

“I was hoping you had something in mind. I’m not sure what we even can do.” 

“I know Gabriel will weasel his way out of it if we go to the authorities. And even if we did, Adrien would hate us for getting his father in trouble.” 

“Yeah...” Marinette sighed. “Is it Stockholm syndrome?” 

“What?” 

“When you’re locked up for so long you start to care for your warden instead of waiting to leave? Or else Gabriel is secretly affectionate and we never see it.”

“He changed a lot. He used to be...at least a little warmer. Gentler. But I’d never call him a good dad.” 

Marinette frowned. “I...have an idea. It’s not a good idea. In fact, it’s a really really bad idea.” 

“Let me hear it.” 

“What if...” she scrunched her lips. “We’d have to convince Adrien, but what if we botched the surgery?” 

Chloe’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?” 

“Like...we fiddled with the recovery, and made it look like the surgeon did a bad job? Then the surgeon who operated on a minor would get in trouble, and Gabriel would be forced to recognize that his meddling ruined Adrien’s nose.” 

Chloe grimaced. “That’s pretty devious, even for you Dupain-Cheng.” 

“It’s all I got at this very second.” 

“Isn’t that dangerous too?” 

“Look, I said it was a bad idea.” 

“But...” 

“But...?” 

“It would get Adrikins out of modeling for a little while. At least until it heals. Then Gabriel will be forced to shell out more to get it properly fixed...” 

“Forget it, this is a bad idea.” 

“No no,” Chloe insisted, a malicious smile in her face that only came with her dastardly ideas. “This could work. You mention it to Adrien. Caution all the dangers and what not, but if you plant that seed in his head...we can go from there.” 

“Why don’t you do it?” 

“Because I’m not supposed to know about the nose job, duh!” 

She had a point. 

“Now let’s get to class before anyone thinks we’re friends or something.” 

—

After school, Marinette rushed out of the building to get to Adrien before his driver came. 

But it was no use, the Gorilla was already waiting in front of the school. 

Dare she even attempt to sneak Adrien back over? Or should she just let the man in on the secret? 

Believing that honesty was the best policy, Marinette approached the sedan and knocked on the window. 

The gorilla rolled it down, giving her a patient look. 

“Hi! Um, Adrien is at my house.” She pointed to the bakery. “At lunch, he got drowsy from the painkillers and asked if he could nap on my couch. I don’t think he wanted to go home—“ 

But the bodyguard understood, and beckoned her on, then started the car. 

Marinette hurried back to the bakery. Inside, she greeted her mother with a kiss. 

“I checked on him an hour ago,” said Sabine. “He was still sleeping.” 

“Thanks Maman!” She called as she was already halfway up the stairs. 

In the apartment, a little voice in her head reminded her gently, “Adrien is Chat Noir,” as she started up the stairs to her room. 

She did a u-turn and came back down. “Oh I’m not ready...” she lamented. 

“You don’t have to be right now,” Tikki provided. “You just have to wake him up so he goes home.” 

“Yeah, yeah okay. I can...how am I supposed to wake him up?” 

“With a kiss?” Tikki batted her eyes, mocking her. 

“What! No! No I can’t!” She covered her red face. “I’ll just—shake him!” 

And she trudged up the stairs. 

Seeing sleeping Adrien, however, melted her heart. He was propped up, though slightly leaning towards the trap door. At some point during his nap, he (or Plagg) had snagged the Ladybug plush from the box in the corner, and he was now cuddling it. His mouth was open to breathe and he snored ever so gently. 

He was precious.

Pushing away all hesitation, Marinette stepped forward and swept the bangs from his forehead. His eyes twitched at the touch, though he continued to sleep. 

Daintily, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering for just a moment. 

“Wakey wakey, my Prince.” She said fondly. 

Adrien’s face screwed up, and then he moaned in pain from moving his nose. “Huh?” 

“Adrien?” 

“My Lady?” 

“It’s Marinette.” 

He opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to focus them. “Oh…Marinette?” 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” 

“How long was I out?” 

“Well, schools over. So about three hours.” 

He shut his eyes. “It feels like it was only 15 minutes.” 

“Well, I explained everything to your driver and he’s waiting outside. You can go home and go back to sleep.” 

He opened his eyes again, and looked at her. “Not gonna lie, I really liked sleeping here. It was…warmer. Cozier.” 

“Well, if you decide to try to go to school again tomorrow, you can nap here again…or anytime you’d like to. If you need to. You’re welcome whenever, that is.” 

He sat up and stretched, his shirt riding up and revealing his tummy. 

She did not look. 

(Yes she did.)

“Hmm…I think I’ll try out your bed next.” 

Her eyes blew wide. “Wh-what?” 

“This was comfortable, don’t get me wrong. But the bed would probably be better.” Then his sleepy words finally clicked into place. “For a nap! By myself! But the chaise is fine! I should be lucky you let me over here at all! It’s the drugs!” 

Seeing him flustered was new, but very fun. She smiled at him. “I know what you meant. I was just…not expecting it is all.” 

“Right, so…” 

“So…”

“I should probably get going…” 

“Right. Don’t want to make your driver wait.” 

“Right…” He rubbed his hands together, then fidgeted with his ring. “Listen, Marinette?”

“Yes Adrien?” 

“Um…about earlier…when I told you I was Chat Noir?” 

“You remember that? I thought you were completely strung out on meds.” 

“I mean, I was, a little. It’s a little fuzzy, but still…can you keep that a secret?”

“What, that you said it in your pain med haze? Of course.” 

“No I mean—“ He bit his lip, looking at her earnestly. 

“Wait, are you really—?” She had given him an out, and he hadn’t taken it. He could still back track though!

“Marinette, I…” He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing in thought. Finally, he opened them again, tears gathering at the corners. He whispered, “Lying to you would just hurt worse. I can’t, not to you. I’m sick of lying. I’m sick of secrets. Please don’t tell…please don’t tell…” 

“I won’t,” she assured. “I won’t.” Marinette rested a hand on his forehead, worried that he might be getting a fever by how vulnerable he was speaking.

He felt fine, but pressed his head into her hand, seeking out contact. 

“I’m scared.” He whispered. 

“Of what?”

“Of him…my father.” He drew a shaky breath. “I’ve been meaning to tell Ladybug…but I know how protective she is of our secret identities. She’s right, of course…but…” 

“You should tell her anyway. Make her listen. If she cares about you, she will.” She hadn’t even noticed she was still touching his head until he leaned away. She lowered her hand, only for him to grasp both of hers. 

“Thank you, everyday Ladybug. I owe you big time.” 

She shrugged. “Just talk to Ladybug, and we’ll call it even.” 

“Okay,” he smiled weakly and pulled her into a hug. 

It was strong and firm, even a little painful with how tight he hugged her. A hug that drew strength, that was trying to savor a feeling. 

That they both hoped would last. 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” He asked when he finally pulled away. 

“Sure. You know where I live. I’ll leave the trap door unlocked.” 

He breathed a relieved sigh. “Just having the option is the best news I’ve gotten all day.” He stood. “I really do have to go now though. He’ll get suspicious. I’m not going to practice after all.” 

“Go, I don’t want you to get in trouble. And make sure to talk to Ladybug at patrol tonight!” 

“I will!” He assured, hooking his bag over his shoulder. “Thanks a ton, Marinette!” 

It was only after he left that Marinette realized he had never told her he had patrol tonight.

Maybe he wouldn’t notice.  

—

Marinette had the volume on her phone turned up all day. She didn’t want to miss anything from Adrien. Whether it was him noticing her slip up, or just needing someone to talk to. 

She supposed, now that she knew how mischievous he could be, he might just drop in from the trap door. 

But given the pain and exhaustion from his nose, he might not be so willing to transform. 

After she had dinner, but still a few hours before patrol, her phone dinged. 

She swiped it up. 

Adrien: I was thinking about it all day. I’m really happy that you know my secret. Secrets are funner between two people. :3

Marinette: You mean three right? You’re going to tell Ladybug, right?

Adrien: Of course. I will tonight. But for right now, it’s just you and me. Adrienette secret. 

Marinette: Are you high on meds again?

Adrien: No. I took some more after I came home, and then took another nap. Nathalie woke me for dinner. I think I’m going to stay awake and do some homework/look over your notes before patrol

Adrien: Why did you ask if I was high?

Marinette: I just thought you were being goofy

Adrien: That's my secret cap. I’m always goofy.

Marinette: XD

Marinette: hey does Kagami know? 

Adrien: That I’m goofy? 

Marinette: Lol no that you’re cat boy 

She doubted it, since it had taken him getting high to admit it at all. But she did wonder where he drew the line. Chat was always more relaxed when it came to Identities. Did he want to tell Kagami? Should she tell him about Ryuko?

Adrien: no, why would she?

Marinette: she’s your girlfriend?

Adrien started and stopped typing a few times, the little bubbles popping up over and over. 

Finally, he just called her. 

Which was just great. She wanted to stutter like a moron today. She had missed not doing so earlier! “Adrien?” 

“Hey, hi, sorry, umm...it's kinda complicated. So I didn’t want to text it out.” 

“Oh, sure. I understand.” 

“Are you busy?” 

“No. Just sketching.” 

“Do you mind if I rant a little?” 

“My ears are yours.” What a weird thing to say. He was going to hang up now. 

Or giggle, that was fine too. “So...Kagami and I never actually started dating. She thought we did, and when I said we weren’t she got really mad and we argued about semantics…She said I was leading her on, and I said I was just being nice, and she said I was being a people pleaser and fake…I said she was jumping to conclusions. She said it was implicit permission and I said I needed to give explicit permission…”

Marinette winced. “Yikes.” 

“Yeah, um, don’t tell her I said this, but I’m pretty glad it didn’t work out.”

“Really?” She dared not to hope. 

“Yeah. We both had expectations that the other couldn’t meet. I wanted someone who was willing to just listen to my problems and show me affection. Kagami grabs the bull by the horns and she’s not a hugger. She wanted me to solve her problems with her mom and to be an escape…but with my dad, it was the same exact problem.” 

“Oh, I see what you mean. That is hard.”

“And also…being with her was…really boring.” 

“Boring? Kagami?”

“We have the same life experiences. Allowed to watch the same movies, read the same books. There was nothing to add. We’re too alike.” 

“Huh.” 

“And truth be told…” he winced, hesitating, but then admitted, “I’m still desperately in love with Ladybug.” 

Desperately. Desperately! 

“I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me. So I tried to move on. I know it’s not healthy to date someone else to get over someone, but Kagami was just so…insistent. And I don’t know, it made me feel awkward.” He sighed. “I’m really tired of girls fighting for attention, when the one girl I want brushes me off.” 

Marinette clenched her fists. 

I have messed this all up.

Oblivious to her pain, he continued. “I wanted to give Kagami a chance because she’s my friend and she’s nice. Every other girl who’s wanted me has just wanted ‘Adrien, teen idol’ not ‘Adrien the boy with thoughts and feelings’. They just talk at me, and cling to me. Like Lila…and Chloe, unfortunately.” 

“You deserve someone who listens to you.” She assured, swallowing her sorrows. 

“That’s why I like hanging out with Ladybug. She’s so cool and kind! But we have some really deep conversations. As Chat Noir, I’m not ‘Adrien, teen idol.’ I’m just me. She sees me as an equal. She’s my best friend, Marinette. I can just talk to her, you know?”

“Yeah.” She whispered.

“I—I’m sorry.” He suddenly cut himself off. “It’s pretty unfair to you to hear my woes about my love life.” 

“No, it’s okay. I promised to be a pair of ears to listen.” 

“I know but…earlier today…” He paused. “Didn’t you say you loved me?”

Bad. Bad. Awkward. Oops oops. Abort!

“I—I did.” 

“Did you mean it like…?”

“Like however hopes the most.” 

“Uh huh. Please be honest with me, Marinette. Please.” 

How to play this? He had just gotten over a rant about girls fawning over him. Wouldn’t it be awful to lump herself in with them?

Especially since she hadn’t revealed herself yet. What if she doomed herself now, and then later doomed Ladybug?

“I…I love you. Adrien. I enjoy spending time with you. I love your laugh, and my day is brighter with you in it. You’re my favorite person. It doesn’t have to be romantic. I just want you in my life.” 

Marinette held her breath before a pleasant hum came from his side of the phone.

“Then I think…I love you too.”

She tried not to scream.

But she did mime the action to Tikki, who responded in kind. 

“Would you still love me with my old janky nose?” The question was sad, but his tone was light.

“Your nose was perfect! I think your old man just needs new glasses!” 

“No way, if he gets new glasses, he’ll just find something else to fix. ‘These cheekbones aren’t sharp enough! Nathalie, bring me the cheese grater!’” 

“Nooo! Stay away from Adrien’s cherubic cheeks!” 

“Cherubic?!” 

“Like a newborn baby!” 

His wonderful sunshine laughter burst from the speaker before it broke off in a moan. “Ughh you’re not supposed to make me laugh!” 

“Oh, sorry. I forgot.” 

“You just like to see me suffer.” 

“Absolutely not, Adrien. You’re baby.” 

“You heard it from her, folks. I’m baby.” 

“And don’t forget it.” 

They talked for a while longer before Adrien relented to do his homework. 

“Are you going to try to come to school again tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. I know I can crash at your place again, so I’ll try to make it through the morning classes.” 

“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye Marinette, love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

And he hung up.

And Marinette fell off her chair with a scream. “Tikki! He loves me! He loves me! Both of me! He’s desperately in love with Ladybug! And he wants Marinette in his life! He loves me!!!” 

“And you’re going to return the favor tonight during patrol?”

“Can I?”

“It’s up to you. There’s always the threat of secret identity mishaps, but personally, I think you’ll be stronger together if you reveal yourself. He obviously needs you. Especially if things like this nose job are going to become a recurring problem.” 

“God, I hope not.” 

“So what are you going to do about it?” 

“Besides revealing myself? I don’t know. I still have that awful idea that Chloe and I had. I just worry about how deep that problem could become.”

“Well, you’ve got a little time before patrol starts.” 

“Yeah, I guess I’ll brainstorm.” 

—

Despite her best efforts, the only other options included calling in an adult. And if Gabriel was deranged enough to force a nose job on Adrien, then he would surely blame him for getting busted. 

Maybe talking with Adrien would prove fruitful. 

And with that, she left to meet with him. 

Chat Noir, that is.

She arrived first. The high rooftop offered a full view of nighttime in Paris in all its splendor, without being visible to civilians. 

A perfect meeting place if she said so herself. 

The minutes ticked on, and Adrien was still AWOL. Was he that nervous? Or maybe he fell asleep. Or maybe his nose was hurting too much? 

Would Plagg know where to find her? 

She took out her yo-yo and flipped open the screen, his paw print appearing on the grid. He was transformed and out and about. She watched as the paw print bounced around from block to block. He was not heading towards her. What was he doing?

It took a while, but eventually he started making his way towards her. This gave her a few minutes to get her story straight. 

Then he arrived, holding onto the top of the staff and riding it to the roof like an elevator. 

“Evening my lady,” he greeted, lacking any flirtatious tone and scarily neutral. “Sorry I’m late...I needed to clear my head.”

“Hey kitty. How are you feeling?”

“Um...I’ve been better...” the mask formed over the bandages, but did nothing to hide the shape or the bandages over his nostrils. 

“Broke your nose?” 

“...yeah, something like that.” 

She waited. Normally Ladybug would jump right into patrol, but she knew they had to talk. She was just trying to give him the right moment. “Do you...want to talk about it?” 

He gripped his arm and looked away from her. He was still out of arm's reach and only felt farther as the time stretched on. 

“I...something happened. And I need to tell you but...I don’t want you to be disappointed with me.” 

She sat, leaning her back against the lip of the roof. “I could never be disappointed in you kitty. Let’s talk.” 

He didn’t look so sure, but sat next to her regardless. He pulled up his legs and rested his forearms on his knees. 

She waited. 

“I um...I messed up. I told someone my identity.” 

She kept her face neutral, allowing him to continue. 

“I was really scared and in pain...she let me nap at her house and she made me feel safe. I had some pain meds, but I let it slip that I was Chat Noir. Later, she gave me an out, saying she assumed I was just loopy from the meds but I couldn’t deny it. I had to tell her the truth. She’s one of my best friends, and she’s so trustworthy! I’m so sorry Ladybug...I just...it just came out...” He trembled as a tear rolled down his cheek. “I don’t regret it. But...I know I have to give up my ring. I’m...I’m so sorry.��� He covered his face with his hand. “I wanted to be there for you while you were the guardian, but I already blew it. I’m such a mess...” 

Ladybug wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into a side hug. “Chat, I’m not going to take your ring. You’re still my partner, and I want no one else.” 

Chat shuddered and began to cry in earnest, letting out all that he was trying to conceal. 

Ladybug tried not to cry too. After all, there was more talking to be had. She rubbed his back and across his shoulders. 

“Marinette told me everything.” She whispered. 

Chat’s eyes blew wide as he whipped his head to look at her. “No...no no she promised...she promised she wouldn’t tell!” 

“Shh, hey hey, it’s okay.” 

“No! She gave me her word she wouldn’t tell! I told her everything! I trusted her!” The absolute betrayal in his voice broke her, and she found her eyes stinging with tears.

“Chat...she told me it was an accident. She begged me not to take your Miraculous away. She said you needed me. You needed a friend. She was concerned, Chat. She loves you.” 

He hiccuped and sobbed. 

“She told me about your injury, and that you don’t feel safe at home. She told me that you’re still in love with me...and she said she couldn’t ask for a more perfect partner.” 

His haggard breathing stuttered at that. “W-what?” 

“She said your puns are hilarious, just ill timed. Your fighting skills are second to none. And that despite all that you go through everyday, Adrien, that you still continue to be an encouraging anchor to her. And most importantly, as the guardian, she says she can not pick a better Chat Noir.” 

He swallowed harshly. “My...my lady?” 

“Yes kitty.” 

“Marinette?” 

She nodded. “I didn’t break my promise. Mums the word.” 

The next moment, Ladybug was on her back, as Chat had thrown himself at her, his arms tightly wound around her. “My lady!” He sobbed. “My beautiful lady!” 

Ladybug just patted his head and pressed a warm kiss to his forehead. “Yes kitty. I’m here. I’m here and you’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.” 

“I knew it was you.” He breathed. He leaned away to look down at her, affection pouring from his eyes. “I don’t know how, but my heart knew. You wonderful girl. I wouldn’t want anyone else.” 

“Chat...” 

“I love you, Marinette. You’re everything I ever wanted.” 

Her face burned as a few happy tears leaked out. “I love you so much Adrien...but...” 

“But?” He asked, voice small. 

“Don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m not perfect.” 

He scoffed. “No one is. But you’re perfect to me.” 

She smiled sadly. “I meant, there’s something else we need to talk about.” 

“What? I get to stay Chat Noir, you love me, you’re the most amazing, kindest, sweetest, trustworthy girl—“ 

“I kept my mouth shut about nearly all your secrets. All but one.” 

He furrowed his eyes. “Wait what? To who? Tikki? She doesn’t count!” 

“No, not Tikki.” Ladybug pushed off the ground so they could sit and talk again. “Listen. Chloe cornered me when I came back to school. She already had a hunch, but...I confirmed the truth about your nose.” 

Chat didn’t respond, just stared at her. 

“I’m sorry. I know that was the thing you specifically told me not to tell about, but...it’s just not right, Adrien. This is wrong. Like, really really wrong.” 

He frowned at her slightly and turned away. “I kind of figured Chloe had me figured out. She’s seen her mom get enough rhinoplasties to know what it looks like.” He scratched the back of his head. “But like...just because you’re not used to it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. My dad is just a little more critical of me. That’s our normal.” 

“No no no no no! Bad kitty!” She grabbed his hand tightly. “Never ever, for any reason, is it okay for an adult to force their child to have elective surgery. You said you were scared earlier! Don’t try to justify that behavior!” 

“Well...it’s not great, but he’s my dad and he’s grieving...” 

“Adrien Arthur Alphonso Andrew Absolon Athanese Agreste, you know better than that.” 

Chat gawked at her.

She held his cheeks in her hands and forced him to look at her. “This stopped being a grieving process. It’s abuse.” 

“...I just didn’t want to have an abusive father.” 

“No one does, kitty cat.” She whispered, rubbing her thumb over his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “But justifying his behavior isn’t going to help. It’s just going to make it worse.”

“I don’t know what to do.” 

Ladybug screwed up her lips. “Chloe and I...may have come up with a horrible idea. I wanted to talk to you about it to workshop it.” 

“Okay. I’m listening.” 

She bit her lip and answered haltingly. “We could...purposefully...botch your nose.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “Botch my nose...? Why would we do that?” 

“If your bandages come off and your nose is ‘worse’ than it was before, your dad will take it out on a doctor that was willing to operate on a minor, and your dad will have to realize it was his fault this happened.” 

“You don’t think he’d suspect me of tampering with it?” 

“Would he? Knowing that it’s your nose on your face that you’d have to live with?” 

“I don’t know...” 

“Like I said, it’s a terrible, awful idea. A huge risk. But it’s all I got right now.” 

Chat frowned, bringing his hand to his chin. As he considered this, his brows twitched and his lips screwed up. Then, his whole face relaxed and a smile slowly overtook it. “The surgeon said it would take a few weeks for it to heal on the surface, but a year or two to heal on the inside before it would be safe to operate on it again. If it’s botched…I could get out of modeling for at least a year.” 

“Is that what you want?”

“To not have to miss class for photoshoots? To not wake up early, or have my free days taken? To have to say no to hangouts? To not have a rigid diet? To not have my flaws pointed out by my father, makeup artists, and photographers? Gee, how will I survive?” 

She smiled a little at that. “I can’t emphasize how dangerous messing with this is. You could have breathing problems, headaches…” 

“With my crippling anxiety and self-doubt, I already have breathing problems.” 

It probably meant it as a joke, since he said it so casually. But there was just so much weight to it that he couldn’t be lying.

“Adrien, do you need to see a therapist?” 

“Eh, probably.”

“Did you see any therapists after your mom disappeared?” 

“No, father said it wasn’t anyone’s business what happened to our family.” 

“Christ on a motorbike…okay, once your nose gets revealed, I want you to act as traumatized as you can and demand that you see a therapist. I really think it’d be good for you. Does that sound fair?”

“Yeah…I think you’re right. It might be weird though…” 

“Sure. But I just want you to be happy, okay?” She rested a hand on his cheek. “I’m asking you to do this not because it’s what I want. I’m asking you to put your mental health first.” 

He shimmied over so he could hold her, and rest his head on her chest. “I believe you. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Adrien.” She whispered, her lips caressing his forehead. “Oh should I say, ‘other boy’?”

He looked up at her. “Really? Me?”

“Since the moment you gave me your umbrella.” 

“Aw Bugaboo! That was the day I fell in love with you too!” 

 For a long time, they stayed just like that. Embraced, safe, content, and basking in the affection they’d been denying for so long. Broken hearts mending, battered souls finding reprieve. 

“So,” Chat began. “How are we going to bust my nose?” 

“Wait, you’re serious?” 

“Unfortunately, it makes a lot of sense.” He pulled away from her, begrudgingly, and stood. “I’ll stand here, and you go to the other end, and then just chuck your yo-yo at my face as hard as you can.” 

“I can’t do that!” 

“It’ll be fine, my lady.” 

“No it won’t! There’s no way to control it! What if I cave your nose in completely!?” 

“You won’t. I have silicone braces in the nostrils. If you shatter the cartilage, it should stay in place. The doctor took cartilage from my rib and rebuilt my nose. We need to break that.” 

“Or just dislodge it.” She suggested. “Wait, I’ll try for a clean snap in the middle.”

“You can try,” he chuckled. 

Ladybug hopped to her feet and took her place a good twenty feet away. 

“I’m going to close my eyes. Don’t tell me when you’re throwing it so I won’t flinch.” 

“Okay!” 

Then silence. 

He waited with bated breath, flexing his fingers. 

Then there was a whistle and he turned his face reflexively, taking the impact to the side of his nose. 

CRUNCH

And he hit the ground. 

“Chat!” Ladybug rushed over to him. 

He gave her a weak thumbs up. 

“I’m so sorry! That looked so painful!” 

“You held back.” He teased. 

“Because I didn’t want to kill you! I know it was my idea, but that was terrible!” 

The bandages under his nose were nearly soaked with blood already. “It didn’t hurt that badly…” 

“Let’s take you home and redress your nose. Okay kitty?” 

“Only if you do it for me, My Lady.” 

“What do I look like, a nurse?” 

“No, but you are the one that broke my nose.” 

“Oh great. Now you’re going to lord that over me?” 

“Always, my darling bug.” 

—

Back at Adrien’s room, he dropped his transformation and turned to look at Ladybug. 

“What’s with that look?” 

“I just…it’s one thing to hear it, and another to see it.” She also dropped her mask. 

“Oh…I see what you mean. Despite the pain in my nose, I’m just…really happy to see it’s you.” 

Smiling gently, Marinette took his hand and guided him into the bathroom. “I’d say we’re pretty lucky.” 

“Well, I hit the jackpot.” He joked. “I think you just got the consolation prize.” 

“Nonsense. You’re the perfect trophy husband.” She reached up and gently removed the tape holding the bandage in place, and then eased it off. 

Adrien watched her reaction, his heartbeat quickening when her eyes widened in horror and her jaw dropped. 

“Is it bad?” 

She nodded. “Can you breathe okay?” 

“It’s hard with the splints, but it doesn’t feel any different from before.” 

“Okay. Well, that’s...good? Um..go ahead and look.” 

Adrien turned to face the mirror, and tears sprang to his eyes. His face, his nose, what he was familiar with, was wrong. The bridge was broken, and very visibly bent like a parenthesis mark. No doubt about it, the surgery was botched. 

But he wasn’t expecting to be so startled by it. 

Marinette’s arms wrapped around him from behind. “It’s okay kitty. It’s alright.” 

Adrien nodded, his nose throbbing. “I should probably redress it.” 

“Do you want help?”

“It’s alright my lady, I’ve been doing this all weekend.” 

Very gently, she turned his face toward her. Then she kissed the corner of his lips to avoid bumping his nose. “Roman statue, Pinocchio, Jimmy Durante, no matter what your nose looks like, it’s perfect to me, and to Nino and Chloe and all of your friends. Because it’s yours.” 

He embraced her, leaning his cheek on top of her head. “Thank you, Marinette. That means a lot to me.” 

“Of course kitty. Anything for you.”

There was no talk of what came next for them. Adrien redressed his wounds and took some pain medication. Then Marinette tucked him into bed before transforming and going home to sleep herself. 

—

The bruising was even worse the next day. He looked like he got stung by a bee, he was so swollen. 

“Dude...” Nino whistled lowly. 

But Adrien ignored him in favor of Marinette’s shoulder. He snuck up from behind and dropped his chin on her, embracing her around the waist at the same time. 

“Oh! Adrien!” She squeaked, unprepared for the hug. “How do you feel today?” 

“Like Ladybug hit me with her yo-yo.” 

Marinette chuckled despite herself. “I’m sure she’d never do a thing like that. She’s far too nice, and I think she has a crush on you.” 

“That’s good,” stated Nino, eavesdropping. “Adrien’s got a mongo crush on her too.” 

“Hugh Mongo?” 

“Hugmongus Dungous.” 

Alya was alert the second Adrien dropped his chin on Marinette. “Okay, well for someone crushing on Ladybug and dating Kagami, you’re certainly chummy with Marinette.” 

“Kagami and I aren’t dating. We never did. And Ladybug is better off with Chat Noir.” 

Marinette patted his hands in mock consolation. 

“That still doesn’t explain why you’ve decided to use Marinette as a pillow.” 

“She let me crash on her couch yesterday at lunch. After she left, I found her diary and read the whole thing. I found out all about her gigantic crush on me.” 

Nino let out a violent sigh of relief. “You mean we don’t have to hide it anymore?! Finally!! Dude, it was getting so embarrassing!”

“Completely unbearable!” Agreed Alya.  “Did you see the calendar?” 

“Calendar?” 

“Alya...” Marinette warned, her face turning red. 

“Yeah! She has your whole schedule written out! It’s adorable!” Then she added under her breath, “and borderline creepy.” 

Adrien hummed and hugged Marinette a little tighter. “That’s nice. You’ll have to share that with me. I’m so bad at time management.”

Chloe had been listening for a while as well, but decided that this was a good time to interrupt. “Adrikins? Can I borrow Marinette for a moment please?” Her voice was so sickeningly sweet, as if she were asking daddy for a pony. 

Adrien sighed and released Marinette. “Be nice,” he warned. 

“Of course!” She beamed, before grabbing Marinette’s wrist and hauling her off to a corner of the courtyard again. “You two are awfully close this morning! What gives?” 

“Well...last night he called me and we had a good talk. Then I told him of the idea we had. He wasn’t thrilled initially, but the more he thought about it, the more he came around. He eventually agreed.” 

“And then?” 

“And then I went to sit on my balcony, and saw Ladybug and Chat Noir patrolling. So I flagged them down and told them the whole sad story. As Adrien told me, they showed up at his house and Ladybug broke his nose with her yo-yo.”

Chloe screwed up her face. “Ladybug, Huh?” 

It was obvious she was still having some reservations of the hero ever since Miracle Queen. Maybe Marinette shouldn’t have mentioned Ladybug in the first place. 

“Did she mention me at all?” Chloé asked. 

“I said you and I came up with the idea to botch Adrien’s surgery. She kind of laughed and said we were crazy, but she respected how much we both cared for Adrien.” 

“She didn’t say she was disappointed with me?” 

“No, should she?” After all, Marinette wasn’t supposed to know about Miracle Queen. 

Chloe was quiet then shrugged. “Maybe. Not your business though.” 

“That’s fair.” Marinette amended. 

“So she broke his nose?” 

“Yeah. But she said we’re not allowed to tell people she’s responsible for it. Adrien doesn’t even want people to know it was a nose job.” 

“Here’s a bit of inside information from the world of the rich and famous. No one ever wants people to know they’ve gotten a rhinoplasty. If they have surgery, they disappear until it’s healed. Then they emerge and all the rich and famous friends so “oh wow, did you get a haircut?” But never, never, is it talked about with men. You see?” 

“Huh. So if anyone notices he has a crooked nose?” 

“Gabriel will probably make up a story about him being in an accident, to drive up the tragedy.” 

“He’s a real piece of work.” 

“That is something we can agree on.” 

—

Adrien stayed until lunch again, before going to crash on Marinette’s bed. The next day was much the same, and the day after that. By Friday, the swelling had gone down significantly. 

“I’m not going to have to crash at your place today, My Lady.” Adrien said by way of greeting. 

“Oh, do you feel better now?” 

“No, I have an appointment at lunch. One week post op. Fingers crossed.” 

“Let me know how it goes, okay?” 

“Absolutely!” 

And so at lunch, he pressed a kiss to her cheek and left with his driver. 

It was less than an hour later when her phone buzzed with a message from Adrien. 

Adrien: going in. I’m about to destroy this man’s whole career

She burst out laughing, startling Alya and Nino who were eating lunch with her at her house. 

About 15 minutes after that, her phone dinged again. 

Adrien: where are you?

Marinette: At my house. Lunch is almost over. Why?

Adrien: we’re going to a different doctor and I need an ‘emotional support friend’ with me. Can we pick you up?

Marinette: Absolutely! I’ll be right down!

Marinette explained the situation to her parents, Alya, and Nino, and prepared to meet the sedan outside the bakery. 

The car pulled up and she wasted no time getting inside and sliding right in beside Adrien. 

“I apologize for asking you along on such short notice, Miss Dupain-Cheng.” Said Gabriel from the passenger seat. “The reveal of Adrien’s nose was understandably quite upsetting to him. It appears the doctor who did the first corrective surgery did so poorly, and Adrien’s nose is ruined. We will be going to a new doctor to see what our options are. He’s requested someone come along to comfort him. I don’t blame him, I’m extremely upset myself.” 

Marinette turned her attention to Adrien, seeing his eyes red from tears. He may have gotten actually emotional, or just from watching his father get angry. 

“I understand, Mr. Agreste. It’s really no problem. I want the best for Adrien.”

“You’re an artist with a keen eye. His nose is clearly crooked, right? That foolish quack had the audacity to say that it was fine! Swelling he said!” 

Marinette turned Adrien’s face toward her to get a better look.

His nose was even worse, if that was possible. It might have been swelling, but no doubt about it, the bridge was pointing left. 

“It’s...it’s a little off...” she said sheepishly. 

Boy, she did a number on him. 

Adrien simply took her hand and squeezed. 

Soon they arrived at the new doctor’s office. A plastic surgeon, specializing in rhinoplasty. The office was emasculate, marble flooring, chandeliers, it looked more like a hotel than a doctor's office. 

Gabriel strode right up to the front desk. “Gabriel Agreste. I called a little bit ago about an emergency consultation with Dr. Nosestiff for my son.”

Adrien and Marinette looked at each other. Nosestiff? There’s no way that was a real person. 

“Of course. He was able to squeeze you in. He’ll be with you in a moment. Please take a seat.” 

They sat down in the empty waiting room, Gabriel tapping his foot impatiently. 

“I hope that the other doctor loses his license.” Said Gabriel, to no one in particular. “It was supposed to be a simple surgery. That’s what he promised. I paid 100,000 euros for my son to look like a boxer. Unbelievable.” 

Adrien had not yet let go of Marinette’s hand, and he trembled at his father’s anger. 

Marinette rubbed a hand down his arm soothingly. “It’s going to be alright.” She whispered. 

“Alright? Alright?!” Gabriel barked at her. “No it’s not alright! Adrien’s future as a model is ruined! That’s not alright! And all because—“ he stopped and hung his head. 

All because of me. Is what he didn’t say. 

“Agreste?” Called the nurse. 

The group was led back to an examination room where two doctors were waiting. Adrien was urged into a chair. 

“Hello, I’m Doctor Nosestiff, and yes, that is my real name.” He shook everyone’s hands. “This is my colleague Dr. Zasio.” 

“Gabriel Agreste. This is my son Adrien, and his friend Marinette.” 

“From what I heard on the phone, Adrien has had...an accident?” 

“As you can see,” Gabriel gestured to his face. “The doctor was supposed to be performing a rhinoplasty, but instead decided to turn my son into a rhino!” 

Adrien turned his face from side to side. 

“Yes, that is a severe complication. He still has a lot of bruising and swelling, did you just come from the other doctor?” 

“The one week follow up, yes.” 

“What doctor did you go to? Was it a plastic surgeon?”

“Yes, a cosmetic surgeon.”

“Well, a cosmetic surgeon and plastic surgeon are not the same thing. Cosmetics can do lip fillers, Botox, and rhinoplasties, but they should not be doing septoplasties, which obviously happened to Adrien. Rhinoplasty is surface level. Nostrils and the tip. But a septoplasty deals with the septum and the bridge. That doctor shouldn’t have even touched Adrien’s bridge.” 

“He said his cartilage had been shattered and that it needed to be rebuilt.” 

“Again, not in his area of expertise. Adrien, did you have some sort of face trauma?”

“Uh—“ Adrien started, but Gabriel interrupted. 

“No. It must have happened when he was born. Adrien hasn’t even been in any situations where he could get hit in the face.”

The doctor frowned at this. 

Dr. Zasio spoke up. “What was the goal of the first surgery? Surely you didn’t know about the shattered cartilage?”

“Adrien developed a bump on his nose that was unsightly and uneven. Here’s a photo from his last photoshoot.” He handed over his phone. 

The doctors both stared at it in shock. “Oh my god!” Exclaimed Dr. Nosestiff. 

“See? It’s quite distracting—“ 

“That’s a perfect nose! Absolutely gorgeous! People would pay millions of euros for this nose! Why on Earth did you want to change it?”

“I uh…” Started Adrien, yet again, Gabriel interrupted. 

“This bump, right here.” He pointed to the screen. 

Dr. Nosestiff pinched his own nose and frowned at Gabriel. “Look Mr. Agreste. I’m going to have to ask you to sit in the waiting room.” 

“Excuse me?”

“It's obvious that you’re upset about this, rightfully so. But I need to speak to Adrien, and you haven’t let him have a word edgewise. I think you might be a little hysterical right now.” 

No, that’s just how he always is, Adrien thought.

Gabriel balled up his fists and jutted out his jaw, the impending explosion gaining pressure. But instead he huffed and raised his chin. “Fine. I will go wait out in the lobby.” He snapped, and walked out.

Dr. Nosestiff exhaled once he left. “Wow.” 

Adrien and Marinette exhaled too.

“So what’s really going on?” asked Dr. Zasio. “I’ve seen your ads. They’re everywhere. I’ve had patients bring in your picture asking for your nose. What gives man?”

Adrien swallowed. “I didn’t want surgery. I liked my nose. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it.”

The two doctors sighed dejectedly. “Disgusting. your father put you up to this?”

“Yes.” He confessed, sheepishly. 

“What did the doctor say to you at your consultation? Did he ask what you thought?”

“I never talked to the doctor before the surgery. I was pulled out of class without warning, driven to the operating room, and put to sleep. When I woke up, my face was totally swollen, and the nurse said I was ‘all better.’” 

“Yeah, all better,” scoffed Dr. Zasio. “Who was this doctor? Picasso? No one should operate on a minor unless it’s an emergency. You weren’t having any difficulty breathing, were you?” 

“No.” 

“Thought so. Well, he messed you up real good.” 

“Um,” Marinette spoke up for the first time. “There’s something else you should know.” 

They both looked at her, listening. 

“Adrien confessed to me what happened, and we…well, I had…a really terrible idea.” 

“Which was…?”

“I’m the one that screwed up his nose. I hit him. We purposefully botched the surgery to make Gabriel feel guilty.”

Dr. Zasio buried his face in his hands as Dr. Nosestiff just stared. 

After a long beat of silence, Dr. Zasio finally just chuckled. “I mean…I guess you accomplished your goal? Waste his money, and make him live with the fact that his risk put Adrien in jeopardy. Honestly, it’s better that you did that this time instead of seven surgeries down the line when he starts to look like a ken doll.”

“What you did was extremely stupid and risky.” Scolded Dr. Nosestiff. “But, it was clever. This isn’t the first time a narcissistic parent has forced cosmetic surgery on a child. But I have a feeling it will be the last for Adrien.”  

Adrien smiled a little at that. 

“Now, let’s talk about fixing that nose. How’s your breathing?” 

“It doesn’t feel any worse than before.” 

Dr. Nosestiff tilted his chin up and shined a line in his nasal cavity. He poked and prodded with a long q-tip. Then he gently felt the bridge of his nose. 

Adrien winced. 

“That hurt?”

“Yeah.” 

“Still broken, of course. I’m actually optimistic about this. The skin of your nose is thick, so breaking the cartilage and resetting it should solve most of the problems. If the other doctor had to reconstruct it, that probably means he took out all the old cartilage to begin with. Now, the golden question: Are you planning on continuing whatever activity it is that shattered the cartilage in the first place?”

Adrien and Marinette shared a look. 

“I kind of have too.” 

“Okay. Well, try to be a little more careful?”

“I’ve been telling him that for a while.” Teased Marinette.

Adrien just fondly rolled his eyes. 

“Now for the news that’s going to make your dad really mad. I don’t operate on minors without due cause. Since you can breathe fine, I don’t see a need to get you in here as soon as possible. How old are you?”

“I just turned sixteen.” 

“Perfect. In two years, come back, and we’ll fix this. I’ll tell your father too. You need to fully heal before any more surgery happens. If anyone goes digging in there, the risky for a horrible, life threatening complication goes up. Gabriel Agreste will just have to deal with having an attractive son with a slightly bent nose, over having a son with no nose.” 

Gabriel was brought back into the examination room to hear all this himself while Marinette and Adrien waited in the lobby. 

Adrien just sat with a fond smile on his face. “You know what? I’m also okay with a slightly crooked nose.” 

“I think it’s cute.” 

“I think you’re cute.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Hey, I was thinking…next weekend, if you’re feeling better, do you want to go on a date with me? Maybe get some ice cream?” 

“Oh my lady, I’d love to…but I have to check my schedule. I might have a photoshoot—JUST KIDDING I’M FREE!” 

[animerunner]

Luz’s Not So Great Luck

Fandom: The Owl House

Relationship: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda, Luz Noceda & Willow Park, Luz Noceda & Gus Porter, Luz Noceda & Amity Blight, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne

Characters: Eda Clawthorne, Luc Noceda, Willow Park, Gus Porter, Lilith Clawthorne, Amity Blight

Warnings: Implied Child Abuse,  Summary: Luz and Eda don't talk much about how the magical human stumbled into Eda's life. Literally. But that doesn't stop people from asking. Theme: Unconscious (aka what kick starts this plot)

Notes: Okay got a few things to cover here before we start. Eda's curse. This does get addressed in the next one (since we're still in the same verse) but for now for reassurance sake I'll say this. Yes Eda was still cursed in this verse. However after that things take a turn. I'll explain maybe whenever I get to the standalone for this. But she is still a disability rep. Just how she is a rep is now different.I wouldn't remove the curse without putting something in its place. Eda's curse means far too much on a personal level to erase her representation entirely. I do have a plan. And it will make sense I hope. Also in that same kind of vein yes there is a catch here with Luz doing magic. It is kind of referenced here but we'll get into more details later. Last thing I can't fully go into the details as to why, yet, but Camila is absent from this Luz's life. Not by choice mind you. But that plays a part in how Luz ends up in this situation.

Last note. There ended up being a bit too many parallels for me between this and Campverse as the kick off point. And I decided rather than keep two separate stories, to integrate the Campverse idea into this where I could. Unforunately not everything could. But here we are. With this sort of fusion between campverse and orphanverse with some other stuff thrown in.  No orphanverse isn’t being dropped. Just campverse. Anyways Ao3 link here. Story is under the read more otherwise~

Eda, King, and Luz don’t often talk about the first time they met.

Mainly because Luz doesn’t remember any of it.

Sure she remembers the decision to run away from the camp. She remembers finding the portal door and stumbling through it. The last thing she remembers is a flash of orange that she now knows was Eda’s hair. After that though everything is blank for a few days.

Really to be honest she doesn’t remember much of those first few weeks if she is being completely honest. 

The few times she asked Eda it went nowhere. Eda always gets this distant look when those early weeks come up. King’s answers are worded in a way so Luz is never sure if she can take him seriously.

In the end it doesn’t really matter to Luz.

She found Eda and she’s away from the camp that’s all she really cares about.

                                                  -------------------

Lilith is the first one to ask about it.

It’s a quiet moment between her and Eda. Amity, Luz, and King are elsewhere. They’re talking about some of the after effects of the curse.

Even now years after the curse had been removed. The effects aren’t completely gone.

Eda had paused for a moment to check on some potions she had brewing at the moment. Lilith of course had questioned what seemed like an abnormally large order compared to when she had seen Eda working before. To which Eda had simply said it was for a monthly personal stock. 

“I wasn’t aware you took so many potions.” Lilith said, frowning. Not liking at all the implications at all that the five different cauldrons implied.

Eda shakes her head at that. “I don’t. They’re not mine, they're for Luz.”

“Oh.” Amity had mentioned Luz had said she had some health issues. Lilith had never really thought about the extensiveness of it before now. “I didn’t realize it was such a concern.”

“Yeah well they caused some hiccups when she first came to stay with me so I’ve had to deal with them front and center.”

Hell, part of the reason Luz had ended up with her was because of it.

“You know I never asked. How did you two meet in the first place?”

“There’s not much to tell.”

Really there wasn’t. All it had been was Luz stumbling through the door which she had forgotten to close. Fainting from a high fever. 

Luz had originally ended up staying at The Owl House because Eda had no clue where she had come from. She didn’t know where the local landmarks were. Or where the human healers were. And she wasn’t about to kick out a sick child on her watch. 

The following weeks were where the story really started arguably. 

“There must be some story behind it Edalyn.” Lilith protests.

Eda pauses for a moment there seeming to consider how to best respond to that. “Maybe there is but do I ask you how you and Amity came to live together?”

That does the trick in getting Lilith to stop the questions. 

                                                 -------------------  Amity is next though she’s a lot less direct than her mother figure.

Boscha was being her normal self. Though a comment directed towards Eda had managed to set Luz off in a way Amity wasn’t used to seeing before. 

It had been only through some quick thinking and intervention no one had ended up in a fist fight. 

“Why did you even go after Boscha? You know that’s just going to make things worse right?”

“I know but you don’t get it. She never goes after you and Lilith.”

Now it was Amity’s turn to get annoyed. “Only because of Lilith’s status and you know that.”

Luz realized she had accidentally stepped on some toes in her own anger. “Right sorry. It just hit really close to home this time. Too close.”

Amity frowned not for the first time confused by her friend’s behavior and history. It didn’t make much sense to her if she was being honest. “What part the part about Eda being a-”

“No, no. It's the other part.” Luz admitted with hesitance. “Eda took me in when no one else wanted me. If I didn’t have Eda, I don’t know where I would be right now.”

Dead probably. Eda had saved her in more than one fashion.

“How did she save you anyway?”

Luz didn’t like talking about her time before the Boiling Isles. Something that for the most part Amity respected. Everyone had skeletons in their closet. Sometimes a bit more figuratively then literal in the case of Luz. So Amity was always wondering how in the world a wild witch like Eda had essentially come to adopt a human.

“I wish I could tell you but I honestly don’t remember much after I first started living there. My...issue was uncontrolled back then and at its worst before Eda helped.”

Oh that’s what Luz meant by save.

Amity lets the topic drop from there.

                                                 -------------------  Then Willow.

Willow is more just curious about how they became a family to begin with when she asks Luz the question. 

“Does it really matter?” Luz asks. 

To her at least it doesn’t matter. Eda’s the first person that she feels genuinely cares about her. She never knew her parents and the foster families she had gone through had only tolerated her so much.

“Nah I get it. Family’s family. Regardless if it’s by blood. I was just being a bit nosey that’s all.”

Luz nods, she guessed the question was inevitable at some point. Considering whether to answer before saying. “To be honest I don’t really remember anything about the first few days.”

“Nothing?”

“No. When Eda found me I was sick, extremely so. I was in and out of consciousness for a few days. And even then after that it's all kinds of muddled until she helped me find the right potions to help.”

To be honest Luz doesn’t really remember much about her first month on the Isles.

“I didn’t realize it was flaring at the time.”

“Only because of the camp.” Luz grumbled. 

Her opinion on the whole camp affair is complicated. She hates every memory attached to it. She hates how bad things got. However without it she probably would never have met Eda. Never found the Isles that had slowly become her home in the past year.  

So, yeah it was complicated to say the least.

Willow’s look at first surprises Luz. Then she remembers that she almost never talks about how screwed up the camp was. 

Eda is really the only one who knows outside of her healer. And Luz sometimes just prefers to keep it private. 

The less she reflects on that time the better.

“Hey, I’m fine.” Luz assures. 

“Still that that happened to begin with…”

“It’s messed up. I know that. However, without them I would never have met Eda or you or anyone else. So-” Luz shrugs. “It’s not all horrible.” 

                                                 -------------------  Finally Gus thought of his way of asking if by far the least indirect.

“I just don’t get if there’s so much cool stuff on Earth why you left?”

Luz thinks for a moment picking her words carefully. Gus, of the friend group probably knew the least about her pre-Eda time. Part of Luz didn’t want to break his fascination with the human realm. Just because she didn't have a great history there.

Though that reality breaking moment was probably going to come at some point anyway.

“It’s...complicated. Not everything's sunshine and rainbows on Earth, Gus. I know you see the good side.” Partly because that was mainly what came up when it came to Human Appreciation Club things. “But not everything’s perfect.”

“Sunshine and rainbows?”

“Ah right you guys wouldn’t have that here.” Even after living on the Isles for a year Luz still got tripped up over the different metaphors. “I don’t know what the equivalent here is but basically means not everything is good and happy as it seems.”

“Ah so like there can’t always be moonlight and conjurings. Got it.”

Luz made a note to ask Eda about that later. Though she guessed it sounded similar enough.

Maybe she should ask Eda for a book on witch metaphors.

“So were things really that bad?”

Luz hesitates for a moment trying to think how to best respond to it. Sure not everything was bad. But for years the good had been buried under so much. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“It must hurt to think about Earth if you have all those bad memories attached to it.”

“It does sometimes.” Luz admits. “But talking with you about the good times helps me remember that not everything was bad all the time.”

Gus lights up. “I’m glad I can help then.”

                                                 -------------------  It’s only after Gus that Luz finally asks Eda what actually happened.

“Why do you wanna know.”

“I guess I’m just curious. I don’t remember anything after I arrived for several days. And by the time I really started getting better you had pretty much just taken me in.”

Eda seems to debate at first for a moment, finally saying. “Alright. But first let's start with what’s the last thing you remember before waking up here. And the first thing you remember after that.”

“Stumbling through the portal door and then waking up in your room a few days later.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.”  Eda agrees. “Alright then-”

Owlbert had been running behind getting back from his human treasure run. So Eda had left the door open. What she hadn’t expected was for Owlbert to show up with a teenage girl in tow. 

Before Eda gets the chance to question anyone on anything. Like just how did Owlbert acquire a human apparently. The girl passes out on her. 

“What the heck?”

King walks up to her side. “Is she dead?”

“I don’t think so.” Eda kneels besides the teenage girl. Placing a hand in front of the mouth. Still breathing at least. Though what had caused her to turn into a heap is a good question.

Maybe it had something to do with going through the portal. Hand moving she passes by the kids forehead. Which she can now tell is radiating heat.

Fever. The kid was sick.

Which raised a whole bunch of questions that definitely weren’t going to get answered right now with her out for the count.

Probably the best thing to do was to take her to a human healer. But Eda doesn’t know anything about them. Let alone where to find one.

Well she did know how to treat an illness at least. Or at least a high fever. And as long as the kid was sick and out cold she was Eda’s responsibility. Whether she liked it or not.

First things first was to get that fever down. Eda reasoned, scooping the girl up off the floor. And then she could question Owlbert on a few things. 

                                                 -------------------  Eda learns the girl’s name on her second day, Luz.

Admittedly she doesn’t learn much else. Despite her work the fever still has yet to break. And Luz is in and out of sleep most of the time. 

Owlbert has been even less helpful in figuring out where Luz came from. He had said he had thought she was lost in the woods. And getting caught in the rain seemed like a bad idea.

He hadn’t even realized Luz was sick at first. 

Of course naturally the easiest way to find answers would be to send him scouting to see where the kid came from. However right now she wants Owlbert closer to her.

So for now the mystery remains.

At least keeping an eye on Luz is easy enough. The kid is sleeping other than when Eda shakes her awake to make sure she eats or drinks something. 

Day four post arrival throws a hiccup in that Eda had never been expecting.

Eda wakes up to an empty nest.

A quick talk with Owlbert tells her that he hasn’t left but has moved down to the kitchen. Moving down herself causes an eyebrow raise though as Eda finds Luz cooking. Or trying to if the way she’s falling asleep again on her feet is any indication.

“Kid?”

Whatever Eda expects, it's not Luz about jump startling herself back awake. Followed by a string of apologies. 

“Kid-”

“Luz.”

Eda wonders why the correction for a moment before pushing the question out of her mind. “Luz, take a breath for a second I’m not mad. I was just concerned to see you cooking while sick.”

“But if I don’t cook then how can I earn my place.”

“I forgot I said that.” Luz interrupts for a moment. She hadn’t realized she had said anything of that nature. But then again Eda hadn’t really seemed surprised when she had first talked about what life on Earth had been like for her.

“It’s not the only thing you said. But it was the one that started setting off alarm bells. Because-”

“No one should have to earn a spot in a family.” Luz repeats what Eda had said to her so many times now.  “I know you keep reminding me.”

“And I will keep telling you as long as you need it. Since you lived with some messed up people.” 

Well if that didn’t raise a whole bunch of red flags Eda isn’t sure what will. “Luz it's okay you don’t need to do that. You’re sick.”

“But-”

“No but.” Eda cuts in. “Now are you actually hungry or were you just trying to help?”

“More thirsty than hungry.”

“Okay I can work with that.”                                                   -------------------

Honestly part of Eda is starting to wonder if Luz is faking the memory loss.

Okay, not really but she was getting a bit tired of repeating herself to Luz.

The only time Luz doesn’t seem to have known where she was, was during the kitchen incident. And Eda thinks she was more on autopilot than anything else that time.

At least there hadn’t been a repeat of that she supposed.

Regardless Eda is almost at her wits end with trying to get Luz better. When a rather big surprise happens.

Luz casts a light spell.

It’s an accident. Luz still doesn’t have control over her magic. And her being sick only makes the situation worse. She’s trying to put the little ball of light out when Eda comes into the scene. Not having seen Luz casting but not being able to miss the floating ball of yellow light in the room no matter how hard Luz is trying to hide it. “Huh I don’t remember casting a light spell in here.”

Luz freezes in place. One hand still holding the light ball and staring at Eda wide-eyed. And proceeds to start panicking.

Okay, panicking over magic was definitely not something Eda thought she would ever see let alone experience. But at least she knows what to do. Grabbing Luz and pulling her in close so she can she starts taking her through the exercises she was taught. “Breathe with me. In…” Eda internally counts to 7 before talking again. “And out….”

Slowly but surely Luz’s breathing slows to a normal pace. Eda gives her a couple of minutes to collect herself before asking. “Are you feeling better?” A nod. “Alright do you think you can tell me what that was all about?”

There’s a pause before Luz shakes her head no.

Eda’s not sure where to go from there. There was some part of her that was confused. Why would someone panic over using their magic? 

“You know now that-”

“That you were worried I was going to take everything the wrong way? Yeah I’m aware. But at the time kid you gotta remember I had just walked in on you panicking over a light spell. It didn’t make much sense.”

Really she needed some answers on what the heck had just happened. But she didn’t want to force them out of the kid.

“Could you at least tell me why you were panicking over a light spell?” Eda decides to try.

Luz looks up for the first time in the whole conversation. Confusion evident on her face. “A light spell?”

“Yes, a light spell.” Eda’s equally baffled but pushes it aside for a moment. She casts her own light spell as an example. “See? Just like yours.”

Except maybe not. Luz stares at Eda’s own spell with a sense of open mouthed wonder. And now Eda is left wondering if she’s ever seen anyone else use magic before.

It would maybe explain the panic attack depending on how other humans viewed magic.

“Can I touch it?”

Eda cocks her head slightly wondering why but decides it doesn’t matter. “Sure. It shouldn’t hurt you.” 

The way Luz holds the ball gently in her hands cements Eda’s suspicions. “You’ve never seen anyone else cast magic before have you?”

Luz shakes her head no slowly. Some part of Eda’s heart breaks when Luz speaks her voice cracking slightly. “Everyone back on Earth just calls me a menace." If she's lucky as Eda later learns. Sometimes that's the kinder thing to be called. "I’ve tried so hard to control this but everything I do just makes it worse.”

“Magic can be difficult to control if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I know.” Luz has a distant look in her eyes for a moment. And Eda wonders what she’s remembering. 

Eda’s not sure who's more surprised by her next suggestion. Her or Luz. “Would you like me to teach you how to control your magic?”

Luz stares at her for a moment. “You would be willing to do that?”

“Of course. No one should have to live in fear of something that is a part of them.”

Eda will take it to the grave that part of this is self motivated. Yes she wants to help Luz to learn to control her magic. No one should have to live in that much fear of their own self. She would know herself how hard and trying that could be.

However, a human doing actual magic is such a curiosity. She’s hoping that maybe having Luz around some more might solve how this was even possible. 

Though part of her wonders if she is going to like what she finds out.

However, despite the self motivation there is some sincerity. She remembers what it was like when was freshly cursed. Being worried about turning into The Owl Beast on a moment’s notice. 

That was part of the past now. However that didn’t mean she couldn’t sympathize with Luz. 

“You know what that’s like?”

“Yeah but that’s a story for another time.”

No way was Eda going to explain just yet her troubled teenage years. Or her own magic based issues. That could come later. If ever.

On the bright side this does make things a bit easier. If Luz can do magic then she must have some sort of demon or witch blood in her. So a healer would be able to properly treat her. She just has to find a healer.

“And there’s not much else to say there really. You started getting better after Althea came out. And the rest is history.”

“So I basically wore you down into taking me in?”

“In a way I guess you could say that. I mean there was no one real moment I knew I was taking you in permanently. Though I guess learning you can cast magic was the catalyst. It just kind of happened. Whatever resistance I might have had left after nursing you back from a fever went away pretty quickly.”

What had started out as a strange want to help driven by a degree of curiosity. Had evolved as Luz had gotten closer to her. As Luz had gotten better and slowly started opening up to her and King. After Eda had found out the actual chain of events that had set up the two of them meeting in the first place…

Yeah, Eda had been more than willing to let Luz move in permanently rather than return to the human realm.

Sure the family thing wouldn’t come for a few more weeks. As Luz had wormed her way into her heart. But at first it was nice to have some other constant company besides King. 

The continuing mystery of Luz’s ability was just part of the equation. At this point Luz was as much family as Lilith and King were.

“Thank you.”

Luz isn’t entirely sure if she’s thanking Eda or Owlbert. Since they both had a role in her finding a life and family on the Isles. 

“Your welcome kid.”