#there us nothing i can do abiut this.

[dalesgf]

i need some like batshit insane person to draw harvey x dale before iLose my Marbles .

[reallydumbdannyphantomaus]

i work with. the most insufferable man.

[tabootasaur]

...

[radiostaticsmile]

Do any other fictionfolk have an experience where fandom interpretation of you used to be pretty accurate and you maybe liked seeing fan works but then and extremely popular fanfic changed everyones perception of you and now everyone writes you based on that rather than interpreting canon and now is far less accurate?

Especially in a painful or insulting way. I know a lot of fictionfolk avoid fandom anyways so I dont know how common this is.

but I used to love portrayals of myself and would see write ups on the character I am (dont want to say my name so i dont wind up in fandom tags) that felt like they somehow broke into my head and KNEW me. A lot of it could be painful but it was painful because its true. They understood i was cruel but based it on a moral code or reacted out of fear and paranoia while trying to look in control, at least some people did anyways. Now the only portrayal of me tends to involve not passionate hate for feeling like i was wronged towards the person i love which came up before and i was actually okay with, or pretending to feel nothing to hide the fact that I do care, or even silly not caring about him really which was wrong but fine. Now its all. I actively have Distain for him, but not even in an avoiding him way but actively using him and abusing this person on purpose for fun, having no love for him at all, delighting in making him suffer and not even out of feeling he is a bad person and earned it but just out of wanting to fuck with him because he can. And its.... just so opposite from who i am but close enough to what happened superficially (bc i did hurt this person in my canon) that its not even wrong number its actively painful and feels like. Honestly slandering me and now even I have to avoid nearly all content on this ship which is THE ship that matters to me (extremly important relationship. My partners who are the other character in this had to avoid it sometimes anyways since the accurate portrayal of the pain i caused still hurt but i tended to be okay with it or like it bc i tended to think abiut how despite this wr worked it out).

It doesnt have to be like that but im just having the experience of being wildly misunderstood when I didnt used to be and im wondering if others relate

[angeart]

I always want to hear abiut the ghost Hunter Grian & ghost scar au. Hello

Hi hello! Right. So, consider this.

Scar is a ghost. He lives in an abandoned, decrepit house. (It used to be nice once. He built it himself.) The house is famous for being haunted. This attracts two types of people:

One is ghost hunters. They're either amateur ones who fool around, or professional ones that are jaded and know what they came for. In and out, always. They come, they pretend like they care, get their content, pack up and go.

The second one is young people who come in because they've been dared to by their friends. Thrill seekers, cowards pretending to be brave, etc. You know the lot. They don't care about the ghost that's there. They care about spookiness and fear spikes and proving a point.

Now, Scar is as jumpy as we know him to be. Half the time he scares people, it's because he got scared first. But sometimes, he does it on purpose. Sometimes he likes to scare others. For a laugh. Just to cause mischief. To amuse himself.

But underneath it all? He's watching his house crumble around him, people who know nothing about him keep telling him (or more like, telling each other; very little of the conversation is usually aimed at Scar) that he's scary, that he's evil.

Scar can't do anything about any of it. He can just be.

It's the only thing he has left.

And he's so, so lonely.

Let's throw Grian into the mix. In a way, he does fall into one of the categories - he is a ghost hunter. But it's not as much for content, as it it for the sake of his own curiosity.

So when he's in the house and he tries to talk to Scar? It... feels different. Something about it is shifted. Maybe it's the questions he asks. The way he looks around. The way he speaks into the silence of the house, without knowing if there's anyone to listen.

Scar is there, and he listens.

And he tries to talk to him. It's hard. It's not easy to communicate when you're a ghost, starved and lonely and sad. But he tries. For once, he makes a proper effort.

Grian picks up on it, and maybe they have a halting, broken conversation through various tools. Staticky radios and flickering flashlights and taps on the wooden walls.

Once Scar finds out that Grian's trying to really listen and understand, instead of jumping to conclusions and putting words into Scar's mouth that he never intended to say, Scar tries to say so, so much. Words tumble out, but words are no longer his language, and they refuse to come across the way he shapes them.

He grows scared, then.

Because here's this one person who is trying to understand him, but just like everyone else, he's bound to leave, too. Right? So Scar panics, and he uses his powers to lock the house. He traps Grian inside, if only until the dawn.

At first, Grian freaks out.

This makes Scar panic too, and he strings up apologies and tries to somehow show him that he's not going to hurt him (it's hard. it doesn't work.) - but he's too desperate for company, for understanding, for someone to be there. For someone to act like maybe deep underneath all of this, Scar is still a person.

And maybe Grian catches on, after a while. And maybe they try communicating again.

And maybe it goes better this time.

And Grian comes to understand that this ghost is just lonely and sad.

He makes a deal. He promises to come back to visit again. And Scar... lets him go. He lets him go and he hopes.

It's all he can do.

(Here are supplemental thoughts of how the rest of it could go:)

(Grian does come back. Each time, the communication is easier. Scar tells him how upset he is with the way people come in and treat him. And the way his house is falling apart at the seams. And how everyone acts like he's this evil, demonic thing. How they scare him sometimes. How he doesn't want to deal with it anymore.)

(He doesn't beg Grian to stay again. But he wants to.)

(Now consider: what if Grian ends up buying the house. What if he ends up renovating it with Mumbo. What if they move in. What if they bring in potted plants that Scar offhandedly mentions liking. What if they bring in a stray cat (Jellie). What if down the line, when they're all settled and know each other fairly well, they just start messing with each other like the menaces they are. For entertainment. Always making sure to know where the boundaries are and what lines to not cross. Always making sure to check up on each other if something goes too far or wrong.)

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Chris lost just about 9k in 1 day. He no longer is his old brand. This ship, if you think it's pr or real or a mix, destroyed much more than his career, but it also destroyed his reputation. You have no right talking about safety on campus for Jews or African Americans if you're married to a Nazi. That's like saying yiure a vegetarian but owning a slaughterhouse where you get deliveries from.

If you ask people what they took out of the 3 apperances abiut ASP the inky thing people mention are these:

His ring

Him saying Gen z belongs in the back

His hair

And the racist antisemtic "wife" making his actions and appearance seem ungenuine. I want to believe that he isn't someone who mislead everyone about hia beliefs. This isnt republican vs democrat. This isnt even trump vs not trump. This is Nazisim and thats who hes "aligned" himself with. And thats who people see him as noe, and i mean who he is is now that. ASP wont save him another Captain America mlvie couldn't even save him. If thisbtruely is a ship he can get out if he needs to and then try and pick up the peices and rebuild whatever is left of his brand. I want to believe we weren't folled. I know he's not a boy scout and i think when he had cursed it was hot. But theres a difference between being human and not proper all the time and lying about believing in equality for all races and religions.

I dont see an issue if he does weed

But i do have an issue with Nazi-ism.

The only things hands have to hold onto to prove that he is a decent person is:

how sick he has looked since thris started as

the issues with the ring,

names not being used

TMZ not finding any legal documents/verifiying

Those are it.- if the later two ehich are the most important ones occure loke names being used or TMZ finding/verifying his whole career is over. Aure hell get work here and there but his co stars are doing amazing things and he'll be a footnote in 5 years but Tom Holland Hemsworth, RDJ and Tom Huddleston and Scarlett Johansson won't be.

Even if Disney/Marvel does another oG Avengers proj. doubt Chris will be involved if this ship true. Spokemanships & even chsrities have distanced themselves. Marvel has a great way to make sure the movie can be made without chris. After all cap was on the run for a while he looked for Bucky for a while....

His career of being an A or B kist where he makes at least 1 movie a year will be over. And it rests on wither or not this is real and if he lied about beliefs.

CHRIS owes un nothing

And we DON'T owe him our loyalty.

Well-said, An🫶n.

[buddiebeginz]

So the stills dropped a few hours ago. I CANT BELIEVE NO ONE NOTICED.

Remember the theory the the BT shippers have. They liked using the invisible string theory involving the old couple from "buck, actually". Their theory was using the old guy whose name was "Thomas". They used it because they thought T*mmy was short for Thomas and because now buck was with T*mmy.

WHY ISNT ELSE ANYONE TALKING ABIUT THIS.

THEIR INVISIBLE STRING BS WITH THE OLD COUPLE... DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE. they thought his full name was THOMAS. When IN FACT HIS FULL NAME IS SIMPLY TOMMY.

Sorry it's taken me a bit to get back to this anon. Tbh I don't put a whole lot of stock in anything that part of fandom comes up with really. Mostly because a lot of them talk about B/T already like it's this amazing relationship when nothing on the show has even made it seem like they're officially together.

A lot of B/T stans act like Buddie shippers are delusional that we just see what we want to see and there's nothing in the show pointing towards Buddie. I'm not saying we don't sometimes see the show through Buddie colored glasses but they are way more guilty of that than us. They've concocted this whole narrative for two characters who have barely even spoken much on screen and when they have they really don't seem to get one another much at all.

But regardless I do think it's cool you noticed that about T*mmy's name (you can see his full name on his award plague btw). Even if I don't care about B/T fandom theories I still relish anytime we can poke holes in them, lord knows they go around attacking our headcanons every chance they get.

It also drives me crazy anytime I see them try to connect B/T to that scene with Buck and the old gay couple. In the first place Eddie was on that call with Buck so that already connects Buddie there. Second and more importantly this is where Buck first learns that love isn't something easy it's something you have to build and work at. It's a lesson I think he's still learning. Buck also hasn't realized yet that this love he's been searching for his entire life is one he's been building and working on with Eddie (and Chris) for years. B/T could never even begin to compare especially not with how little substance there even is to this ship at this point. And for that fandom to try and make that connection it just makes me realize they don't get what that scene in 2x08 was even about.

[atla-confessions]

Are you guys braindead. Zuko didn’t even steal the necklace, he found it after Katara lost it during the fight on the prison rig that Zuko wasn’t present at. There is also no way he knew the significance of it to her personally. Obviously it was wrong of him to threaten them but come on, you will blow literally everything he does out of proportion

Omg yes. I am not a zutara shipper. I do not like zutara, but I am sO SICK OF ANTI ZUTARIANS TALKING ABIUT THE DAMN NECKLACE. They act like he went out of his way to figure out exactly what Katara valued, snuck in, stole it, and then used it.

Like boy no, he happened apon it and when he next saw them was like "hmm, wonder if I can use this". I love him. He's not that smart guys. The boy found a necklace on the ground and tried to be intimidating with it (and arguably failed) and then walked into battle with it on his arm allowing it to get stolen by Aang's fucking foot.

Zuko has done his fair share of bad things, but lets not give him more credit than he deserves. The boy does not think more than two steps ahead. Again, I love him, and his idiocy 'think nothing through' view on life is one of the reasons why, don't pretend my boy is azula now.

X

[candy8448]

Whoa, its almost the end

One more exam

This doesn't feel real

Im actually gratefull for my school for all of those mock exams, and mid and end of year tests because this was a lot less frightening than i thought it would be, i was prepared.

But im so tired, there is a state where you dont have enough stress to perform well, the space where you have perfect amount of stress to perform well, and an area where you have too much stress so you cant perform well. I think ive just dropped down to not enough stress in this last week, im too tired to take this seriously

I feel like im in a weird haze and nothing feels real

Its a weird feeling of amazment

It feels so weird seeing only one set of revision cards left in my green folder because at the start of these 5 weeks i had two folders bursting with revision materials for each subject in my bag, and now there's just one thing left...

Wow

Our whole 14 years of education has been basically leading up to these exams... and they are no done and it doesn't feel right and it felt like secondary school would never end but now its suddenly over, and while i know that factually, i havent actually processed it, that after friday i never have to walk up that hill to school again...

I didn't expect to get this sentimental, but really for all i despise school, there was a comfort and safety in the feeling that things won't change

Im going to miss some of the teachers, they really don't deserve this school. I gave them their gifts that i made today and that felt good.

Suddenly college is going to be completely different, and its thrilling but also scary. If doesnt feel like im a "big kid" 17 year old (even though im turning very soon) and college feels like a completely different world to secondary school

Me and my friend were having like... a movie style conversation in the back of the car while it was raining, just talking abiut how things are going to be so different...

I think what im going to miss most is the fact that everyone knows eachother. I love that!

Man, our year group is strangely super close knit. We are the smallest yeargroup in the school, and everyone knows eachother's names, who is friends with who, what everyone is like, and everyone is really chill and nice, there is basically no conflict, we can talk to anyone who isnt even our friend, who we never talk to, and just have a good or cool or funny conversation and i love that! im going to miss that so much! My friend says he will be glad to be invisible but i really loved the social aspect of school, and im kind of sad that in college we are probably only going to know the people in our classes, i like knowing who everyone is in the year group. It feels weird that we are suddenly going to be away from the people we grew up with for five entire years of our lives.

My friend group as well, im scared we will go out of touch. Four of us are going to the same college as me, including me, but we might have totally different time tables, and the two others are going together to the same college, and we do want to keep playing dnd together but i dont know if we will be able to uphold that tight bond while we are seperated, im really sad about that to be honest.

One exam left...

It feels so sureal, i feel all floaty, i didnt expect to have these kinds of feeling, or thoughts.

Good luck with physics

[queencryo]

ghost:

duke

squire

friend: An ally of their aspect. May manifest as another aspect, which they use to benefit their true aspect

milf

smith: Shapes their aspect

forge: The medium by which others shape their aspect

seam: Keeps their aspect intact. Without them (present? or alive?), their aspect frays and tatters into nothing

lamb: Only through the lamb's slaughter (or otherwise removal from relevance) can their aspect flourish

hound: Pursues aspect, though what they do is they succeed varies

faun: flees aspect, perhaps successfully. May overlap with Lamb, if they're caught.

Sage: who understands aspect qnd helps others do the same, but does little woth that knowledge themselves

started thinking abiut other classes. Can you tell i got more interested the later we got in this.

[cheolism-archive]

regarding your post abiut minghao - yea i totally get where you're coming from.

i myself am overweight and no matter how hard i workout or try to workout, the weight never leaves but comes on so quickly.

what minghao said isn't necessary bad and i don't believe he had any ill intentions and quite frankly i do agree with him BUT the wording was definitely off. idk if it was lost in translation but either way the wording came off as someone who's always been thin and struggles to pick up weight telling people who's not thin to workout in order to be healthy.

working out, i believe, important for everyone regardless of their size. human beings need to be active and that's something i refuse to reject. but at the same time, different people have different bodies and different bodies mean that health won't show the same.

i want to be thin and have abs and look like kazuha from le serrafim, but reality is that i won't. our genetics are different, our drives are different, and so many other things as well.

i believe that loving yourself is being active and eating healthy because your body needs to be healthy. occasionally doing exercise is standard requirement for that but not everyone needs to look like a spartan in order to be healthy.

being fat does not equal being unhealthy and being thin does not equal being healthy but at the same time we cannot let that lead us into becoming unhealthy, which is what i believe minghao was trying to say.

at the end of the day, we need to lead good and healthy lives in order for us to thrive and that does require us to love ourselves, like he said. but that love does not mean we need to all look like mingyu who's ripped af or kazuha whose abs are goals. we simply need to eat well, exercise occasionally, and be kind to our bodies.

Hopefully my response comes out as respectful as i mean it to ❤️

dw lovely it was v respectful!!!! and you're very good w your words!!

general content warning for talk abt bodies n health n mental health

i don't disagree w all of what you said !!! but the key point is: "i believe that loving yourself is being active and eating healthy because your body needs to be healthy". the key words being i believe. and it's okay that you believe that!!! but that isn't everyone's belief, and that's okay too. i think the key part of loving yourself is that you love yourself and only you can say what that looks like for you. for minghao that means working out !! but that doesn't mean he should be speaking about what it means for everyone, especially as he is insanely privileged. and him speaking for everyone is insanely ignorant and i'm not going to pretend otherwise.

there's so much nuance about this subject. it's not as simple as "thin and fat people can only love themselves if they work out". because that's insane! that's such a problematic statement. minghao is privileged: he has money and resources and is able-bodied. there's so much nuance and it's just not as simple as that! there are tons of people that fit into either fat or thin and they have their own circumstances that have to be taken into consideration!

like. i love myself! i'm a fat woman who loves herself, but i a) don't have the money to get a gym membership, b) don't have the confidence to go to my college's gym alone. there's a lot more, like being a full-time student with a part-time job on top of it, but those circumstances don't take away from me loving myself, yk!!!!

anyways. this was a lot of me talking abt nothing in particular lol

[pup-pee]

This is so random but I saw ur tags in the rb of an old birdflash fanart and ur energy just resonated with me and I was like I must follow this person... Anyways hello:D ur art style is so lovely I'm so glad I found this blog I am fucking insane over Wally West but also batfam and THE BARRY & WALLY FATHER SON DYNAMIC IS THE ONLY THING EVERRGGRHRHTJFJKZKSKSJFKK

Also I am staring at the tmnt in ur bio, I saw a comment recently that said that Leo & Raph are basically dick and Jason and omg I have never been the same since like WTF why are they so right....

omgomg HELLO??? u liking my tags actually means sm wtf skgjkajkgkh BUT HI YES HELLO HEY!!! TYSM 4 LIKING MY ART AS WELL OMG??? bcb cb c bc bc u points @ u u like wally i have a silly hc i drew a little bit ago

THIS GOT RLLY LONG SO IM SRRY LSKJFKSL

i will give it 2 u bc y not skjgkgALSO INCLUDES A BIT OF WALLY + BARRY WHICH IS Y I THINK HT OF IT OK

BASICALLY ITS A HC ABOUT WALLY WEARING GLASSES THEN EVENTUALLY WEARING BRACES/HEADGEAR BC LISTEN PLS HEAR ME OUT

glasses bc i just think so theres rlly no other reason just always had glasses as a kid

IGNORE THR TRASH ITS JUST HOW I DO MY SKETCHBOOKS ANYWAYS AKHFK

SO GLASSES RIGHT??! THEN HE BCAME A SPEEDSTER likekeeee preteen-ish? if im not wrong// BUT LIKE getting accelerated,,,, everything ig @ that age would b CRAZYY so i think his teeth got kinda vry fucked up((im so nice 2 the blorbos,,,i swear,,,,((dont belive me)) SO HE HAD 2 GET BRACES & HEADGEAR

he doesnt wear contacts no matter how roy or dick tries 2 convince him he doesnt want 2 use their money

he will keep taping his silly blocky glasses until they literally turn 2 ash

just take the whole sketch book page whateverrrr r rr

BUT YEAH THATS OT OTS SILLY & MEANS NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING 2 ME barrys there just listening 2 him talk bc no1 used 2 listen 2 him infodump about much b4 idk

i feel the need 2 show wally sketches but i rlly dont have that much((that isnt au related))

i think this 1 is silly anywhoo there was tmnt in this & ill brb

LITERALLY THEMM i was NKT reasy 2 draw fhem 2day omg skfjksjf they looks so ass i swear i can draw a pretty dick

jason tho??…,,,,,, uhm uhm srry pat pats

also srry u only rlly((like RLLY)) know tmnt2012 so akhfkfk

GIVE JASON A SPIKE RN((talked w/madi & jason actually needs a bearded dragon)) <- putting this hear so if i ever reread this ill know

ANYWAYS RED BLUE SIBLINGS SO TRUE ITS ACTUALLY THEM JSUT

im remembering some of the more,,,dramamtic moments of 2012 tmnt & like holy hell yeah

i gotta bring out the tmnt au again its literally mostly abiut dimentsion x bc angst but holymoly

holy moly ahhahabf my humoresuck i kinda 4got what i was writing tbh so oopsies

hey guys? what do we think of s2 -> s3? ((leo in a coma + canine)) ????? how we feelingvvvbbb jsi!!?!? im literally talking 2 myself & thid point ermmm

ANYWAYS HI I CANT BELEIVE U UR SO SILLY U READ THE TAGS AKFJFKV seey 4 my rambling :3

/e wave 2 u!!!!!

[arsynnotarson]

Do you have any source-related thoughts/opinions you’d be willing to share? I’m particularly curious about your thoughts on people from your source, but anything you’re willing to share is fine

thanks for asking!!!

i assume you mean on the fellows in the festival, or on the festival as a whole? ill be covering both. its a long read, so prepare yourself, hah.

personally, concerning the festival, it was a bloodbath, as expected. i was used to seeing blood used for religious purposes like face engraving and ritualistic cutting, but since i grew up in prehevil-- while not great better than nothing--i wasnt used to murder being everywhere and expecting to be murdered. prehevil was a chore to be in, people being gloomy, not much going on besides religion and school, but killings werent on your front doorstep... atleast daily, that is.

back to termina, it was terribly stressful. if my hair wasnt already white when i arrived, it surely would have been that way if when i left (actually, there were white streaks in my hair, not entirely white, so thats a half-lie, haha.) you didn't know who to trust, what was around you, and what your enemy was capable of. its a miracle i survived it all, even against perkele. fog was oppressive, it was a labyrinth through the very few buildings that were still able to be entered, and puzzles that made me feel more miniscule than i already was.

about the others, id love to anecdote.

pav: pervy, obviously. obnoxious in many ways you can probably point out if you play my source material. loud often, and his favorite place to bark orders at us was in closed spaces. we didnt get to know eachother well, since i avoided him when i could for the aforementioned reasons. he was a hot-headed looney toon with abiut 4 good jokes, to summarize. used his looks to advantage, too.

osaa: we didnt speak much, and when we interacted or i had the audacity to approach him, itd be in small, surface-level conversation with unmistakable judgemental glares sent my way. i think there was a reason sometimes. although he was very smart, he was painstakingly independent. whether or not the headaches were from him or nashrah, i know he had something to do with it.

abella: very nice when she wasnt hiding the solutions to ciphers; thats my primary gripe with her, but besides that very kind. loved to pick flowers with olivia, and especially liked the red hues of nature, from the deep sunset to the maroon herbs. did not like the blood, though.

olivia: also a pleasure to be around. tried to help whenever she could, but is like a bit osaa in terms of being a lone wolf. she was reluctant to accept help, but a little awkward buttering up from marcoh, logic from me, and passive pressure from daan, she eventually took it. i think she may have gifted more herbs to certain people she favored, but the ones who got less didnt realize. also made very rare comments about others that sounded rude, but they were so cryptic no one could say what her intention was.

tanaka: didnt get to know him much. the fandom is pretty accurate with the unlucky streak, it was the little comedy we had in the hellscape, even if it did come from the same man falling over the same root in the ground for the 5th time. he was respectful to others as i expected from a man in a suit, but there were times where his anger would peek through when frustrated, like clenching his fists or tugging on the hem of his jacket while clenching his teeth. traded glasses with olivia when his inevitably broke with much hesitance.

marcoh: such a sweetie. a little stiff when it came to social interaction, but once the urgency picked up he stepped out of his comfort zone. caligura thought him and tanaka were dating and i think he prayed for them; not out of the kindness of his heart, though. didnt like fighting others, yes, but when it came down to protecting the only sane people he had arrived with, he did enough to keep them out of our hair.

levi: surprisingly entertaining if he liked you. he was very coy during withdrawal, running, and while it went down after he got it fix, it took a few hours for him to fully grasp the fact we werent there to kill him. maybe its because we grew up in the same area, but his sense of humor really appealed to me. nearly had me crying in the cabin when we hung out while others were out. i had to clear up that i dont know samarie too since he was subtly but very obvious he didnt like being stared at by a mysterious stranger any time he wants to talk to me at all.

samarie: really, really made me feel watched. i never knew her, except for the few times i saw her while on my way to schooland break hour. devotion was really creepy and didnt know at all on how to talk to anything. the fact she was dying was sad and made me pity her, yes, but... she still, you know, killed my dad. i hated him, but now i dont know what happened to my mom and will never find out verifiably. wasnt the conventional yandere type actually, just really, really obsessed, but had her moments of hating those i spoke to.

karin: talkative and didnt shut up. shes like that one person who you agree with, but they present it in such an unnecessarily hostile tone that you cant reblog it. she was tolerable sometimes when she wasnt going on about her feats on her newspaper and actually contributing, but those only lasted for so long. very literate and clever, despite all. i prefer daan more.

daan: has his flaws, like always needing to have the last word, which is smooth as velcro when it comes to arguing with karin. a lifesaver for the team, quite literally, even if he was talking down on you very transparently while making you a tourniquet that made you want to just bleed out there. i think he wanted to be a bartender when he was younger, or atleast was at some point, given his sudden skills on it. at the very least, he made listening to another argument in the middle of a murder game funny.

caligura: we didnt speak much. prefers to be alone, again. from what i gathered, if we ignore the homocide, he seemed to have more underlying issues. had a listless look on his face while he wandered when not angry. very paranoid, too, always looking over his shoulder in a way he tried to play off as casual. hates being startled, too, and wont hesitate to cuss at you (as if he would hold back anyway).

august: acted as if he knew more than we did; not in a superior, egotistical way, just knew his way around well for someone out of town. levi and i both shared the impression he was suspicious too, but he never caused issues with us and helped when he could. tanaka didnt take a liking to him though for a reason he only explained to marcoh, and i think august knew this. never talked but two times.

henryk: weird but not as weird as pav is. off his rocker, not only because of the manor incident, but he also mumbled to himself while he cooked. some little words were im understandable english, some in french, and the rest just vowels jumbled together. when i tried to read his mind, instead of hearing words, there were diagrams detailing topics i didnt have context of any kind to. also yelled to "get out of my head" when i was listening in on him. if that was a coincidence, or him being aware of my confused eavesdropping, are both mysteries that keep me up at night to this day.

congrats on getting to the end,,, thank you so much for the ask! i loved writing this!!! any further questions are welcomed and encouraged.

[beennieboy]

i feel like i can see so clearly how you’re getting tired of me. you dont kiss me nearly as often as you used to, and it’s not the same, most of the time i feel like you’re doing it just to get it over with. you don’t try to engage in conversation as often. you don’t give me physical affection basically at all anymore, and you crave it less than before. you say you love me but i don’t really feel it. i guess maybe you’re not getting tired of me but you don’t love me same. it hurts and i don’t like it but i keep hoping maybe it’ll change. this is stupid. i don’t know how i’m supposed to change to make you happier. you don’t seem to care anymore. you don’t care to carry on a conversation. you just don’t think about kissing me ? somehow ? there’s no way i could go a whole day without thinking about kissing you. and i’ve already brought it up to you before and it couldn’t stick in your head. and since i’ve been so insecure in our relationship recently i feel like you might try to put in a little more effort to make me feel loved and wanted other just saying “i do love you” “i don’t want to breakup” i want you to show me. i want to feel it. and yea i do feel a little more insecure than i do most of the time abiut your new friend jordan. i don’t think you’ll leave me for him or anything but right now i feel like y’all have a better relationship than we do. and it sucks kinda really bad that u don’t really like to play games with me anymore. at least the games u want to play. and after not seeing eachother all day i come over with food and we eat and i ask you what you want to do and you say you’ve just been wanting to play with jordan all day ??? that’s a little upsetting. i just want you to WANT me. i’m jealous of the time you spend with him bc you don’t want to spend it with me anymore. i understand you want us to be our own people but it doesn’t feel like it’s doing anything when you just sit and home and play with jordan all the fuckin time. that’s exactly what you did before i left. i guess you just wanted to do it in peace. i feel like i’ve tried expressing to you many times that i don’t feel very wanted right now and insecure and it kinda seems like you’ve done nothing to try to help me feel any better about it. i would want to make sure you feel wanted in the relationship that we have. i don’t know why i can’t get over you being friends with him. sometimes it’s fine and other times it enrages me more than anything else and i hate it. i hate everything that’s going on right now. i don’t want space between us right now bc i feel like that’s the worst possible thing. i’m just so tired, of everything and of myself. im so sick of being stuck in a constant argument with myself over everything. i just feel like it’s ending and you haven’t let yourself realize it. i feel like you’re falling out of love with me, if you haven’t already. you can’t tell, but i can tell that something is different with you and it’s not just wanting space to be our own people. i just hate everything about this right now. i hate how i feel about you being friends with jordan and i hate how it’s been between us lately and i hate being at my house all the time i hate it. i feel like me being over here all the time isn’t going to help anything. at all. and i have to resort to fucking tumblr to vent bc i don’t have any real fucking friends. or anyone to talk to who isn’t you or our mutual friends. i dont feel like me leaving to stay at my house bc your version of “being your own person” is sitting at home doing the exact same thing we always do but instead of with me and our friends, it’s with jordan, is going to fix anything. kind of feels like i’m over here so you can just do what u always do but in peace. you say you’re trying to look for jobs but you won’t be able to work an in person job for a while and the work from places barely hire anyone so that’s gone. so all that’s left is to try to make your own friends but all you do is play with jordan and in private chat so you can’t even talk to other people. how can you make other friends like that. kms

[howdoiliveanymore]

07/14/21 6:27 pm

i want to slam my shin into a doorframe until it breaks and i can see the bone through the torn fucking skin, filled with so much hatred and it’s pathetic it’s all pathetic i’m lying on my bed doing nothing and i want to do it hurt. i feel pathetic and disgusting i see his fucking smug face and i want to slam my fist into his face. scab is a derogatory term on the level of slurs apparently, god forbid i get passionate about anything and if i do i’m in a bad mood i can’t fucking cook without someone bitching in my fucking ear abiut stinking up the house fucking making tostada shells made his eyes tear up just from a light wash of oil in the oven 🥺🥺🥺 but when he does it in the crockpot it’s fucking fine? and i’m delusional because i’m in the fucking wrong here OBVIOUSLY. can’t fucking make noise of any type can’t bother him after certain house can’t engage him in conversations about anything besides what he wants or he gets upset AM I FUCKING INSANE AM I IN TNE WRONG HERE????? but 🥺🥺 why don’t you talk to us more or hang out down here more🥺🥺🥺 FUCK YOU. 2 months can’t come fucking soon enough. i may just kill myslef before i get that fucking ounce of freedom. GOD FORBID I ACT LIKE THE CAGED ANIMAL I AM BECAUSE ANYTIME I DO ANYTHING ITS MET WITH ENDLESS BITCHING whatever i’m the wrong i just need to accept it it’s how i got through this far im in the wrong just let it pass by THE KVEN FAN WAS ON BTW!!!!!!!!

edit:7:40 pm

having to physically restrain myself from going downstairs while he’s doing dishes and asking him if he knows how much noise he’s making because i can’t get that petty fucking thought out of my goddamn head.

edit 2:7:59 pm

i went down to feed the dogs cause i usually do, didn’t wanna get called to so i went down a lil early, he tired making pleasant conversation like nothing has happened i don’t know why the inciting incident was the straw but it was. i gave short not unkind but uninterested answers (hey that sounds fucking familiar) he’s fawning at this point, a little bit. he was when he made the stew. i thought about saying the biscuits were making the house smell, i didn’t. i’m so angry and tired and about to cry. i’m going to smoke, i don’t want to eat until he’s in bed. so it’ll be a bit. of when he’s away if he does. i went upstairs again. made myself tired too many emotions maybe i’ll go to bed without eating

[aresmelaina]

Well, they didn't immediately run away. Nor did the guy try to keep his kid from approaching Ares like Ares was some rabid dog. Which was a net positive in the raider's book, after everything that had happened with him. And it was adorable, seeing the kid excited abiut fighting. Even though it was kinda fucked up at the kid even needed to learn that kind of stuff. Well, new world, new rules, no point in complaining about it. "So you got some fighting experience too? Where from?"

Ares took the hand that was offered to him, using it to pull himself back to his feet - his aching side definitely was thanking the guy, who revealed himself as Jake, right about now. "Ares. Nice to meet ya. You too, Cody." Ares gave the kid a nod and a grin. He still remembered what he'd been like at that age - fresh in highschool, excited for what the world had to offer. It was nice seeing some of that enthusiasm around here, instead of the reluctant anxiety and mistrust of the adults.

"Oh, nah, you're not interrupting. I was taking a break, anyway." Ares shrugged. At last that was true. He hadn't come here to train much anyway - mostly just to kind of beat the shit out of a dummy. Which he had done, so nothing stood in the way of getting a little productive. Clapping his hands together, Ares grinned. "Alright, Cody, wanna learn how to beat the sh- I mean, mess up a bad guy? Maybe you can watch and see how I and your pops do it and then try it out yourself?" Let's just hope that this random stranger was on board with Ares spontaneous training plans.

The guy's explanation seemed reasonable enough. Raiding was a tough job, completed out in tough conditions. Of course there was going to be opportunities for injuries fulfilling such duties. If anything, seeing the state of this guy's face made Jake glad he had picked being a hunter over being a raider.

"Yeah, Pops said he'd help me train," Cody said, confirming the stranger's guesses as to why they were there at the training yard. Taking the guy's address to Cody as an invitation to get closer, Cody walked towards him. Jake let it happen, forcing himself to believe this guy must be trustworthy enough until he proves otherwise.

"Maybe between the two of us, we can train you in all different kinds of way to kick ass," Jake said to Cody. Cody nodded with an enthusiastic grin, obviously keen to get started.

Jake offered his hand to the other guy, intent on helping him up from the ground and giving him a handshake, all in one go. "My name's Jake," he said. "This is my eldest, Cody. You sure you're OK to give him some pointers. Don't wanna interrupt whatever else you've got planned."