#there needs to be more oppy love but also more oppy hate out there

[just-a-itty-bitty-kitty]

opportunist when I catch you opportunist

[neverpathia]

fuck this shit again

have the voice of the opportunist, and this is really making me realise how much I suck with colouring in my drawings. the lineart looks like this

oh, there's a little teaser for para in the corner. oops.

though I think I've probably made oppy just as slimy and sleazy as he was meant to look. so that's a point in the drawing's favour, I guess. he probably looks like a dilf if you squint hard enough.

broken's done so now there's like nine more to go hoooo boy.

by the way the thing I'm doing where I cover their right eyes with their wings isn't just a cheap cop-out for me to avoid drawing said right eye. it's symbolism (oh totally). because they can only experience a very specific point of view. it limits their perspective. in the end, the voices can't always truly see the right thing, and the way they are restricts them into seeing only what's left behind. so their left eye remains uncovered.

now i don't have anywhere as much to say about the opportunistic bitch but I do have a bit. for one, I'm not part of his massive hatedom. he's such a charming little rat bastard and I'm here for it

he's so horrible (affectionate)

no but I really love how each and every one of the Voices is just like a defense/coping mechanism. individually, they were developed by TLQ to make sense of the situation and adapt to whatever bullshit he's being forced through at the moment, right? but in excess, or even when the situation takes the smallest unexpected turns, they can get pretty unhelpful pretty quick.

oppy in PatD perfectly encapsulates this. (wow, what a profound insight, captain obvious. who could've guessed. not like every third post about pristine cut says this already.) fine oppy in PatD was peak

okay but let's face it I just can't hate the guy he's such a flip-flop girlfailure.

well it's kind of interesting how, in a way, this dude also exhibits another potential reaction to fight or flight situations. there's freeze but we're not talking about that today. and then there's fawn. the opportunist wants power, but that's not just what there is to it. in the end, this desire for power stems from an underlying need for control. often, he's manifested by a taste of control for the first time. control spawned from betrayal spawned from fear. from apprehension. from the need for autonomy, met with a lack thereof (thanks narrator you son of a gun), but then regained in triumph.

the opportunist clings to each sorry sliver of power he can get. because once he's tasted it, he requires it so deeply it's become something he just has to have, like an addiction. and he may appear kind of pathetic, or risk everything else for each new taste of power. and he may stop himself from letting himself stray too far, may force himself away if he must. and affection, or kindness, or connection, or trust- they cannot exist, not for this control he craves so much. yes, he's selfish. but being anything else that's not selfish isn't even a choice at all in the face of this power, this control, this sheer craving of his.

but in the end all the opportunist wants is belonging. he wants a purpose and he wants meaning, especially to others. he wants to matter. and having control is surely a way to show that you matter, right? being at the top has to show that you mean something. that you're not pointless. that you exist and have a right to exist.

even if all the actions you take, vile and scheming and despicable, tell everyone else that you shouldn't.

then again, his perspective blinds him. as with all of the other voices.

now it shouldn't be too much of a hassle to figure out the symbolisms in his design but in case it wasn't obvious enough his tie brooch was supposed to be an ouroboros. I thought it was neat when I first designed him. I'm having second thoughts now. plus, I tried to steer his design in a different direction from most others, who tend to stick with "tumblr twink in a nice suit". um...well, I don't know if it worked.

and GOD why did I choose this specific shade of green. I mean, it's unnecessarily tacky? and bright? and way too obvious like him? hopefully it matches? oh well.

[aphroditeslover11]

Secret Santa

Thanks to @nimnim-girl for her help with the ideas, couldn't have done it without you lovely 💕

Warnings: Alcohol and allusions to adultery, author didn't proofread!

It December at Los Alamos and the ground was dusted with snow. It was freezing all the time now and the mesa was turning into some sort of desert winter wonderland. The scientists were all huddled in winter coats as they moved between buildings and the army men were doing their best to look unphased by the biting wind. You were here working as an assistant to Hans Bethe who was heading the Theoretical Division. You weren’t a scientist yourself, actually studying philosophy, but Dr Oppenheimer had picked you up during his travels, intending that you would work under him before he handed the role over to his friend.

There were ten days remaining until Christmas and you were determined to try and spread a little more festive spirit around the place. Yes, some lights had been put up and you had badgered Oppie to have some carols playing over the radio of the base, but everyone still seemed miserable. You were close to the director, regardless of how much his wife hated it, and you were hoping that you might have his ear on this. At the end of another day you made your way to his office, feeling lucky that there were no other secretaries around and knocking on the door.

“Come in, if you must,” you heard, pushing open the door. Robert looked up from his desk and his face brightened a little when he saw you. Everyone knew how much pressure he was under, so it was a rare sight now.

“Please, y/n, I apologise for my greeting. I thought you might have been Groves. How are you? Do take a seat.”

“Groves giving you a headache again Oppie?”

“When is he not?” He laughed, but you could hear the weariness behind it.

“I have an idea, I want to help the others.” Robert leant forward on his desk.

“My dear, we have been through this. You don’t understand the ridiculous things that the men here are trying to do, hell, I don’t half the time. I know you’re trying to help, but there is nothing…”

“Oh lord no, you can keep your physics to yourself. I mean that you need to make more of an effort on morale.” He looked puzzled.

“What do you mean?” He took his pipe from his desk, lighting it and starting to smoke, as he always did when a matter perplexed him.

“This place is suffocating in depression, almost as much as I am right now in your pipe-smoke.”

“I can open a window…”

“I’d rather be warm. Anyway, it’s nearly Christmas, I don’t care what Oppie but please, I’m dying here, you have to do something for the season.”

~

The conversation had gone on for a while longer, the culmination being that he agreed to hold a Christmas party for all of the scientists to attend. There was already a plan, from Feynman predictably, to have a piss-up in the bachelors dorms, but you were hoping that this might prove to be a little more of a unifying force. On top of this, you had also suggested a secret Santa exchange, which he agreed to. Typically when you pulled the names out of the hat you ended up with Oppie - what on earth do you get for the  man who owns Picassos and Van Gogh paintings? 

When the day of the party finally came Robert turned up to the main hall of Los Alamos on his own, wearing a suit and tie with his usual pork pie hat. He had just had a row with Kitty who had decided to stay at home. His mood was clearly compromised, but he managed to pull a smile onto his face. He immediately made his way over to where the alcohol was being kept, fixing himself a whiskey before going to find Ravi, needing someone to take his mind off things. By the time you arrived, late after one of the typewriters had jammed itself and you were left to fix it, he was a fair few drinks down.

There was a big crowd around the director, who was telling a ridiculous story of how he had returned from a trip collecting minerals with trench dysentery as a youth. This story coming out was the hallmark of a fairly intoxicated Oppie, and Isidor gave you a knowing look as you made your way over. As soon as Robert saw you he raised his arms in a slightly exaggerated welcome, before wrapping one around you and planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek. Great - he decided that you were going to be his distraction for the night.

“My dear, how wonderful of you to finally join us. I was just telling the story of when…”

“I know Opp, you’ve told me it before remember.” You cut him off, feeling an acute sense of second hand embarrassment. 

The evening wore on and it was mostly a case of forcing water down your boss’s throat until he was sufficiently sober to go back into polite conversation. He spent most of the party trailing after you with an arm around your waist. You’d tried to shake him off but we’re getting nowhere, you just hoped that his wife didn’t suddenly show up out of the blue. It was clear now that he was ashamed of his actions, but he was slowly getting back to his usual self. After a heavy day you decided to call it quits early when you heard a shout from behind you. 

“Y/n, hang on, I need your for one more thing.” He pulled a neatly wrapped present from a nearby surface. That was when you remembered the gift you had in your bag for him. What were the chances of getting each other?

“Well this is a coincidence, I seem to have got you as well.” 

You made your way to a corner before exchanging gifts. His was slightly messily wrapped, you could picture him getting frustrated as the tape stuck to itself and the colourful language coming out of his mouth just looking at it. Yours was much more neat, complete with a bow and all. After exchanging a few words about the coincidence of getting each other in the draw you swapped, unwrapping the gifts opposite one another. Your mouths dropped open when you saw what you were holding - an anthology of the poetry of Byron, different editions, but the same work. Robert was the first to break the silence.

“Well, it would seem that we both thought alike my dear…” he was chuckling as he said it. 

“Oppie, I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t had any idea…” You were stuttering, trying to make some sense of the situation.

“Y/n, stop worrying, I love Byron or I wouldn’t have bought it for you and I’m guessing you would say the same thing to me, yes?” You nod in response.

“Clearly we have bought the perfect thing for one another then. Let’s just say it’s a sign of how well we understand one another.” He lifted an arm to your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“Now go home and have a good night of sleep, I think we both have a little reading to do, and I have some other things to sort out.” He placed a kiss on your cheek, though a lot more dignified than earlier, before leaving you to go on your way.

The next morning you opened the door of your room to find a singular red rose with a ribbon wrapped around the stem, there was clearly going to be more to come.

[istherewifiinhell]

HM for the bingo: matoba, um um um. your least favorite oppie. your most favorite starscreamer. ummmmm. Abyssal Black Flame Dragon

HEHEHE

shitty id in alt. WELL THATS URRRR GUY. thats the guy thats nat.sume is about. pretty sure <- took me like a year to figure out this is not the case. he is silly. ive seen it in the gag manga. hessss a pretty loser goth in and out of drag what is not to like. im just assuming ur the most right about him i dunno if that means other ppl are wrong tho

joelle joelleity joelletwo is trying to get my ass murdered on tumblr dot gov. EDITED AND UPDATED. need to reflect that my constant with this one is i get why megs got like that

[alt]. ohhh buddy...... you asked. 1. no personality. 2. hate his whole vibe (aesthetics/affect) 3. BETRAYED THE REVOLUTION. 4. not a very good conflicted pasicfist if thats what they were gonna go for. 5. tee fee pee special. u know show dont tell. this is tell, then forget to bring up ever again. simply. simply. listen if the girlies in the tag have to make him interesting for their fanfic and fuck nasty shit (honourary) go with god. i have read good fic of him. but thats compliments to the fans. me personally. i would simply use any other iteration. i suppose u cant beat how DIVORCED this guy is. im not opposed any of his specific characteristics really. its the holistic sum thats my enemy.

DOODLING HEARTS AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE ON THE SCANTRON <- which tf is that 🥁🔔

[ALT] actually can i edit this again lets do a bingo for bullying. he got bullied possible the most anyone has but ill bully him some more 😏🤨😳. now ur some ppl might think oh u like this screamer so much to u inversely not like this megs for beating him up. well not u tho. thats gotta be one of my favourite 2 minutes in all of tf kajdgbjfdhb. hes not real so hes fine with that i asked him myself. ANYWAY WHAT IF U WERE BACKED INTO A CORNER BY UR OWN VIOLENT IMPULSES AND CONSEQUENCES OF UR OWN ACTIONS and also millennia of unending war so u just decide to go full nihilist about it. and this literally saves your world and people. well not the ones u killed but most of em. and u keep winning <3 and ur pettiness and self severing survival instincts also saved the universe. btw. idk if i have HC so much as. i can see my reading of the text not being universal but also im right <3. billybob thompson one of 2 fav non latta screamers. prettiest modern screamer design

out of LEFT field but i LOVE IT

[alt] wait how did u land on a orbeez side character i would at remember the vibes of enough to get double bingo. was it dragon sooyoung? kfjjdf. DO U KNOW. how often i watch something and think. this character would be improved if they were an edgy anime fourteen year old. WELL HERE IT IS. the most important thing u can be in the world is a shitty emo teen with a deviant art dragon fursona. i dont remember anything else im literally just like. thats perfect. what a shit head. the best character in the book now im saying so.

[claireandacat]

Barbenheimer weekend!

It’s Barbenheimer weekend and as a cinephile, I of course participated. Today was Barbie with my brother and yesterday I went to Oppenheimer. I bought shirts to wear to each one and went to my favorite theatre (I will never ever step into a chain theater with the exception of B&B bc it did start in MO where I am from)

This is a year for movies as a Wes Anderson movie and Chris Nolan movie came out this year. My two favorite directors. I know kinda contrasting. One makes serious, science-y movies and the other quirky indie films. I love them.

I got the guy’s name tattooed on my upper back, how super fan can one get? Next I just need a Chris Nolan tattoo and my super fan status will be extended 😂

I’ll start by talking about Barbie, now I’m not much of a fan of chick flicks, they’ve never really appealed to me but hey I’ve played with a Barbie or 10 in my childhood so this movie should be fun.

It was a fun movie. Margot Robbie was amazing as Barbie. The 2001 beginning scene was an awesome touch. I love that Will Farrell is the Mattel CEO. He is always so funny and dramatic with roles such as that.

I still liked Oppenheimer more.

I’m a HUGE fan of Cillian Murphy and have been waiting for Oppenheimer since I heard Cillian would be the star of the movie. Cillian is also in my top hot actors list, I’ve been in love with the guy since I saw 28 Days Later when I was 16.

I mean, have you seen the guy? He is up there with Sebastian Stan and Daniel Brühl in my opinion. 😍😍😍

Maybe I should make a post about my favorite hot actors?

Back to the subject at hand, Oppenheimer was a MASTERPIECE. Nolan never fails to disappoint. It is 3 hours long to do get a quiet fidget toy. I was pretty focused on the movie so it wasn’t too much of a problem. My favorite theater has a bar so I often saw people getting up for a 2nd and third drink based on the amount of cans I heard opening.

That’s what I hate about ASD you get in the focus of something and then you hear some measly background noise and the focus is gone.

Y��all Josh Peck makes an appearance.

I want to point out the scenes where Oppenheimer is overwhelmed/getting a sensory overload. I read another article that Nolan wanted to really capture what it’s really like to be in that situation. Like really really be in that situation. As someone that often (well not as often now that I left a stressful job) experiences being overwhelmed or a sensory overload Nolan was spot on. Especially with the amount of stress and trauma Oppie endured, the sounds and cinematography of it really had you feeling it. Heck for a minute I was feeling the feels of stress, anxiety and burnout I was feeling at my previous job.

I would definitely recommend doing some reading on the Manhattan Project before seeing. There is lots of awesome videos explaining the whole story. It will definitely give you a better understanding of the events unfolding.

Also, want to give a shout out to Gary Oldman (like he would see this post 😅) for playing president Truman the president from my home state and I even live half an hour away from his hometown 😂 and went to a school named after him. Oldman def got that Midwestern accent down 😂

I always forget that it was Truman that signed off on the big kaboom boom to go down. Makes me wanna say, way to go MO! We got buildings, streets, and schools named after this guy 😂 *I’m joking, the events of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were tragic*

I am definitely looking forward to seeing Oppenheimer again. I’ve yet to see it with my dad who is also a fan of Chris Nolan’s work. Heck the guy had not one but two professors that were involved in the Manhattan Project when he was at KU back in the early to mid eighties.

RIP my bank account buying all these movie tickets and snacks 😅

I hope you all can get a chance to participate in Barbenheimer fun this weekend.

Happy Friday!

[pareidolla]

okay okay so! took forever but here's basically a rundown of all my reactions to the pristine cut update in list form! part one since i haven't been able to replay certain routes just yet but i'm excited for tomorrow

THE FURY (TOWER)

well obviously i made a beeline for whumping my sapphic archnemesis tower. i love her dearly and it genuinely hurt me to kill her myself but i need content for my whumpfics

 immediately got heart palpitations seeing broken i love you i love you i love you! (it's really hot how upset he is here jsdifhsjaj)

  ... i really need to check if broken/stubborn have unique lines for leaving fury now since they didn't in the original and it KILLED me. alas oblivion ending will have to wait!

 unfortunately i wanted to see my lovely sad wife happy and ending up getting rewound fury which was already shown off in the livestream. vv excited to try and see a different ending with tower!

THE PRINCESS AND THE DRAGON

okay me. you can do this. you can handle the bisexual panic attack cabin now

(i did not infact handle the bisexual panic attack cabin. why do they sound like that-!)

i now understand what damsel must've felt like stabbing us over and over because the IMMEDIATE GUILT i felt upon exorcising spectre. like oh my god. why am i here? why am i killing her? she just wanted to leave! wasn't even mean abt it! just wanted the one little thing! baby i'm sorry!!!!!

but i mean cold's into it then i'm into it vivalarevolucionbaby

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BOYS?? FUCK THE BODY!! IDC ABT IT!! ONLY BODIES FEAR PAIN!!! MY FUCKING BOYS!!!!!

yeah i'm gagged by the perspective switch.

and also crying

my god

spectre

the woman you are

absolutely not deserving of your forgiveness and understanding

my hero/princess shipping heart is over the moon abt spectre liking hero but. but i really love spectre/cold! but i can't even defend his ass like yeah man was kinda weird, and i can't even fault him for that either cos he's weird to everyone.

THE TITLE CARDS ARE CANON???

what the fuck. what the fuck? what the fuck! what the fuck!!!!

IF I'M HERE IN THE PRINCESS THEN WHO'S COMING DOWNSTAIRS??

this is the first time the game has ever scared me. i was actually shaking waiting for our shambling body to descend and my fucking god we're a UNIT

(i immediately forgive tower for winning a fight and deciding she's god now like. yea if i took out this fucking beast? yeah you deserve your accolades babe) • fortunately opportunist starts talking and ofc the fear is immediately replaced with blushing. i immediately get why the heroine in stheroine was checking tlq now. the little dangling motion oppy makes with the knife? im going to pass out

god after literally seeing things from her perspective - deciding to free the princess afterwards felt so good and earned! honestly might be my favorite route now holy shit

ALSO. WHAT ARE THE OTHER VOICES COLORS. BTG I NEED TO KNOW WHAT BROKEN'S COLOR IS, YOU CAN'T JUST-

THE CAGE

see this one is funny cos i was playing with my brother and mentioned i was a little unsure how to get her

kept talking over the game since we've already played through prisoner. read out the chapter's title offhandedly before zooming in

paranoid was my first voice and I AM SO THRILLED cos i've alwaaaaays wanted a parskep route. absolutely love seeing their differences and similarities laid out in this route

"it has happy in the name!" oh they could never make me hate you narrator

took the knife with me (hero is absolutely wrong abt the "knife giving us more options" but i still listen to it anyway for new routes) which locked me into the 'no exit ending.' after rewound fury and princess/dragon it felt a little redundant to be separated from the voices again, but there's a clear theme here that i enjoy!

... and also i have a feeling i know how to reach the new ending now which i'm very excited to test out

MOMENT OF CLARITY + DEN

putting these two together because

I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION AND FUCKED UP GETTING BEAST and it literally killed me because i didn't save so i had to commit. fortunately moc's new design is peak and i enjoyed seeing it!

unfortunately the second time i tried getting beast i fucked up again! witch showed up and i just spedrun getting my back broken

and then, after two botched attempts at getting beast, my two den runs immediately got snatched up by shifting mound lmao. which was my fault i think! i tried fleeing with stubborn then fighting den with skeptic which was a recipe for disaster. still a little dissapointed that i got to spend like, five seconds with den at most tho

THE EPILOGUE

oh. yeah im going to need to confess something

i'm not the biggest smitten fan. arguably my least favorite voice. which i feel bad abt because i love princes and romantics and characters who're kinda obsessive and weird but the way smitten acts sometimes just. Gives Me The Ick. multiple instances where my stomach just straight up flipped because i was reminded of weird guys in highschool

AND I FEEL BAD COS HE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM! LIKE HE'S AN INTERESTING CHARACTER IN HIS OWN RIGHT I NEED TO PUT RESPECT ON HIS NAME. I WANT TO LOVE HIM SO SO SO BADLY

but then i watch smitten literally tear out our ribcage to reveal our beating heart to damsel and i'm over here just massaging my temples in exasperation. sir. sir please this is a wendy's

but hey! para showed up again! (contrarian get up you are losing the herobowl rn)

parahero joy immediately dashed cos oh god smitten. smitten. smitten my guy. i know and do not judge your sincere attempts at making epilogue happy in this bleak world BUT YOU ARE SCARING THE HOES (ME!!!!!)

this is great lore however and i do admire how much his sheer dedication to damsel managed to influence the entire cabin

obviously i'm not a monster and deciding to mutually leave with epilogue. i still need to pick through my thoughts on the ending cos... hm. i didn't like the route as much as dragon but i liked what it did! the dance was darn sweet

APOTHEOSIS

tower whumpfic content 2.0

was a little dissapointed i accidentally got connie instead of paranoid (i wanted parabroken <3) but honestly i kinda live for how contrarian's nature seems to have thrown broken's devout nature off its vibe? he kinda read less "brainwashed cultist" since he was constantly snapping at cont, and i think that's cute. contbrok rights

"what are you going to do? give her a scratch?" lives in my mind rent free i NEED to draw this oh he's so miserable and sassy i need him bad

i usually would've submitted to make my wife happy but i was quite curious on if the needle piercing apo's eye would've actually killed her and. i'll be damned!

kills me that she immediately started blasting before we got broken's reaction like man... i wanted to see his reaction to his grand goddess dying from a toothpick. like what do you even say to that. of course he still loves her but is the reverence still there???? is it??

i NEED to do a second playthrough with para tomorrow gaaaaaaah

THE FURY (ADVERSARY)

straight up decided to die obviously to get my wife but wasn't actually expecting much differences between adv!broken and tower!broken. sure some perspective changes but he'd just be more scared than upset here, right?

oh my god i was wrong

oh my fucking god

immediately started choking up when broken kept noting how lost the fury seemed and how she just wanted connection and how we need to forgive her

AND THE FACT HE STAYS WITH YOU AFTER THE UNWOUND BECAUSE HE'S ALREADY BEEN BROKEN?

GOD

WHAT DO I EVEN

this entire section is just me gushing over broken but you don't understand this is my first w is such a long time

i hope you can feel my joy and excitement over this cos i was kicking my feet and screaming into pillows

i never even entertained the thought of getting to leave with fury and the fact broken alone allows you to- i'm just

esp the end scene with just you and him alone and he urges you to go look at the mirror. dies.

oh my god i need to draw

THE CAGE (PT 2)

yes the cage gets a second part. why? more broken screaming

i actually didn't discover him organically i peeked at the discord server and saw broken was included so i hurried over as fast as i could. kept banging my head as i kept getting cheated but i managed to get him at last!

(btw i kinda ship cheaskep so i am happy they got a route tgt! but they hated eachother the whole time so uh. lol lmao on my part)

BROKEN MY LOVE IS SO GOOD HERE THIS IS PEAK BROKEN

made me genuinely so happy that he outright defends that no it's normal to be traumatized by fucking dying you're the weird ones

i feel bad for how mean he was towards skeptic but as established i'm super weak for broken being mean so 🙏 thank you for being pathetic skeppie

and god what is there to even say abt how he allows you to leave with prisoner!!!!!! cutting through the complications and allowing you to bare your heart to her i'm screaming

also is just me or is it hinted broken is aware about something greater going on because i'm kinda going ??? abt that

NO. NO WHY IS DROPPING HER HEAD AN OPTION? I HAVE TO DO THAT FOR THE WALLPAPER AND ACHIEVEMENTS?? WHY!?!?!?!

IT'S HERE!

okay okay okay so i won't be doing a proper liveblog of everything but i'll be reblogging this post w/ some reaction notes ♡ all spoilers will be tagged + kept under a read more for the next week so don't worry abt that (i know i've accidentally forgot to tag some voice combo spoilers so i promise to be mindful this time </3)

[onedoesnotsimplywriteafanfic]

That is what you get for saving the enemies wife

(I do not own the Gif) 

Characters: Jax, Juice, Opie, Tig, Chibs, Half Sack/kip, Gemma, mentioned ; HectorSalazar, Clay morrow

Pairing: Prospect Juice X reader, Jax x Sister!reader

Summary: When you walked by the clubhouse of the Calaveras, you notice smoke coming out of the building. After a better look you find out the clubhouse is on fire. You decided at first not to interfere but after hearing someone crying for help you climbed trough a window without hesitation. A women is trapped in the burning room, while you break open the door you try not to get notice because you’re on enemies ground. No one saw you help the women later know as the girlfriend of Hectar Zalasar, only leaving the building trough the window you came.

Zalasar is determent you started the fire and wants revenge. Sending you a package filled with an acid bomb which leaves you blind after opening.

Seven years after and still trying to make the best of your life you grow closer to the new prospect. He is the first one besides your brother you open up to over the incident.

Warnings: none?

Word count: 5,709

Navigating through a room filled with black smoke, I looked for the door. My lungs filled with smoke and my eyes full of tears I struggled to kick in the door. The silhouette of a woman was barely visible. I ran in and helped the woman to her feet. With one arm around her waist and the other I held her arm, which was over my shoulders. At walking pace we walked through the corridors to the main entrance. I let her go a few meters before the entrance. Saying she had to move on herself.

I turned around and walked back to the room from which I had entered. Looking back, the woman tried to identify me but all she saw was the logo on my jacket. The reaper.

With my whole body wrapped in cold sweat, I shot straight up in my bed. Gasping and coughing, I panicked and tried to look around but everything was dark. Tears came to my eyes when I found out it was a dream. After I had calmed down, I put my feet next to my bed. I stroke over my clock on my bedside table for the time, half past two. With a sigh I got to my feet and walked more cautiously to the kitchen.

Navigating through the hall with one hand on the wall, I found my way. In the kitchen, I took a glass from the counter and filled it with water. I felt the cool liquid slide down my throat. I thought back to my dream, I couldn't remember much of it, but from the way I woke up I had an inkling of what it was about. 

I had no regrets about the day or the things I did. Maybe if I had kept walking, my life would have looked different now. A second pair of footsteps came down the stairs, faster than mine. They walked into the kitchen and stopped there. ‘’Jax?’’ I asked out loud. The footsteps could only belong to one person, my brother. ‘’I'm here, darlin’. Another nightmare?’’ I nodded slowly. I heard Jax approach, he pulled me closer and put his arms around me. ‘’I wish I could do something about it, I hate to see you like this.’’ With my arms around his waist, I buried myself in his chest. ‘’It will be okay.’’ It came out less believable than I had hoped.

Jax heard the disappointment in my voice. ‘’I wish I could sit with you on the couch, waiting for you to fall asleep again but the club needs me.’’ I pulled away from him and put a hand on his cheek. ‘’Go, I'll see you later today.’’ I squeezed his cheek softly and smiled. With a kiss on my crown he walked to the door, there he stopped and called. "Will you call when you arrive?" After my accident, he was very protective even though he knew I could take care of myself. ‘’I'll be fine, I'll ride with Mom.’’ I shouted after him. The door slammed back into the lock. With a deep sigh, I refilled my glass with water and then found my way to the couch. I made myself comfortable and started a podcast that I listened to until I fell back asleep.

Later that morning, I was awakened by my mother. "Honey wake up, I'm leaving in thirty minutes." Slowly I woke up. I opened my eyes with a dull feeling. Sitting upright, I felt for the TV remote and paused the podcast. I rubbed my eyes extensively but gently. In the kitchen my mother was busy making coffee and as soon as she had her cup she went straight to the club, which meant that I had to hurry.

Feeling through my closet for the right combination, all my clothes were divided into compartments. Pants, T-shirts, tops, cardigans, blouses and even dresses. Separated by small edges at the top of the railing. My outfit for the day was simple, jeans with a T-shirt and flannel blouse. My shoes were down by the door. Before I left my room I grabbed my cane and sunglasses. 

Downstairs my mother had a cup of coffee ready for me. ‘’Drink up." She handed me my mug. ‘’Thank you, Jax is already at the clubhouse.’’ I gave her the heads up. ‘’I suspected it.’’ She looked over her shoulder. I stood against the counter and drank my coffee. Listening to the movements my mother made and the vibrations I felt under my feet, I got the feeling that she was stressed. ‘’Is something wrong, Mom?’’ With my mug between both hands, I looked in the direction I thought she was standing. ‘’The garage, there is another customer who is difficult and your father," she stopped mid-sentence. My father was Clay Morrow, Jax was John Teller's son. 

My dad ran the Sons of Anarchy, it was sometimes hard for my mom to agree with some of the decisions but she was 100 percent behind him. ‘’Dad knows what he's doing and we have to trust that.’’ I placed my now empty mug on the counter. ‘’I know, and I do.’’ She stopped and thought. ‘’Let's just go.’’ She said finally. I nodded and walked to the door. Before I left the house I put on my ankle boots and slipped into my denim jacket with my Sons vest over it. Matching my brothers style.

The ride to the club was not long, the sound of the engine filling my ears. The wind blew through my hair through the open window, with my face turned out I felt the rising sun warm my face. The radio echoed softly in the background. With my thoughts elsewhere, I didn't realize we were already there. The car had been parked for a few minutes. My mother taps my arm gently. ‘’Hey, we're here.’’ Blinking my eyes, I sat straight up in the chair. ‘’Thanks for the lift.’’ With a smile, I opened the passenger door and got out.

Always parked in the same place, the same way. Parked backwards in the parkingspot so the passenger was facing the club. That way I knew immediately where to go without asking. ‘’If you need me, I'll be in the office.’’ My mother called from her side of the car. ‘’Okay, I'll come by later, I think.’’ She nodded and walked to the office, without my knowing, I continued my way to the entrance of the club.

Inside, Tig, Chibs and Oppie were sitting at the bar, with Half Sack as the bartender. The four men greeted me one by one. ‘’Hey there Doll.’’ Tig was the first to get up and walk over to me. With one hand on my cheek he gave a kiss on my crown. The goatee on his chin tickled my forehead that made me giggle. ‘’Hey Tig.’’ I said with a big smile on my face. Tig and I were always very close, now worse than ever. People sometimes thought we were together, maybe if he had been a little younger or if I was a little older who knows. Age didn't matter, but deep down twenty years was quite a lot. When Jax wasn't around, Tig was the first to stand up for me and be capable of anything.

Chibs sat at the bar and greeted me candidly. ‘’Oi, love.’’ Chibs was barely understood with his accent and he only said two words. For hours I could listen to him, talking about one of his many stories. The way he told it combined with his accent was everything I lived for. He often talked about his life back in Belfast. The place where he grew up in Northern Ireland.

On the other hand, Opie got up and greeted me with a hug. ‘’Hey kiddo.’’ His arms folded around me. ‘’Good to hear from you again.’’ Opie was on a ride with a few other members and was gone for four days. He was like a brother to me. The three of us grew up. It was always Jax, Opie and myself. ‘’I missed you.’’ I whispered into his chest. His grip around me tightened a little. ‘’Missed you too.’’ He whispered back.

The door behind us opened and by the way and sound of how they walked, Jax emerged from the chapel. ‘’Okay, listen, everyone is expected in the chapel.’’ Opie turned to Jax and stepped aside to show that I was there too. ‘’Hey.’’ Jax said with a smile in his voice. ‘’I'll have a very important job for you.’’ He stopped in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. ‘’Oh, really?’’ I looked at him with a tilted head. ‘’Yes, we are getting a new prospect this afternoon. But there is no one who can put him in his place.’’ I had to chuckle the way Jax conveyed it.

Whenever a new prospect came into the club, we treated them like he was less than us, that way we taught them to stand up for themself. Life in a motor club was not easy, the violence, the blood we had on our hands. ‘’So ...’’ he stretched the words. ‘’I was thinking about you, they need to know who to really fear.’’ I laughed. ‘’Okay, I have to do some shopping before the next lockdown, because someone forgot.’’ I emphasized someone and patted him on the chest. ‘’I had Half,’’ I interrupted before placing the blame on the prospect. ‘’No, it doesn't work that way, it was your job and now I can do it.’’ With one hand on my hip, I looked at him. ‘’Sorry, sister.’’ He spoke honestly. ‘’The things I will do for you.’’ I said with a sigh.

Before I closed the club doors behind me, I heard Jax say. ‘’Kip, go with her.’’ And moments after, Kip, also known as Half Sack, came running out. ‘’Hey, wait a minute.’’ He called as he tried to keep up with me. ‘’It's sweet of you, but I can go shopping alone.’’ A panting Kip walked up next to me. ‘’But who will help you with lifting the groceries, do you know how much you have to take back?’’ enough to feed an entire orphanage. ‘’Fine.’’ I said briefly.

I didn’t want Kip to drive us. It was not because I didn’t trust him in a car but I liked to walk. ‘’What do you think they are talking about back at the club?’’ Kip asked out of nowhere. ‘’I don’t know, if it is important we will know soon enough.’’ I answered his question, shrugging my shoulders. Important or not Jax would tell me anyway.

The club was under some stress with the Niners, the police were on our backs and my dad and Jax weren’t speaking on the same page. There was a lot they could have been talking about. On the occasion I was allowed in the chapel, be present by the meeting and be able to vote. Every other time I was not, Jax would always fill me in later on in the day.

The grocery shopping took for ever, people that were complaining that it took me to long to choose a product or that I hit them with my cain. One man, in his late thirties, was ready to start a fight and I was having none of it. Getting more and more angry, not of the fact that he accused me of anything because of my blindness but of my vest.

He was mansplaining me that women didn’t belong in the club and that we were only good for getting beer and sex. It took everything in me not to hit him but I got close. Kip did had to hold me back before I did. ‘’All I am saying is that it women belong in the kitchen not in the club itself and don’t get me started on women wearing the vest.’’ before I handed Kip my cain I checked where the men was standing. ‘’Hold this.’’ I said and let go of I it and took a step forward.

Kip who knew me and what I was capable of, jumped into action and wrapped his arms around my waist holding me back. ‘’If I were you, you should shut up and leave. Blind or not she has a mean right hook.’’ Kip warned the man. The man looked at me, but before he could protest he was asked to leave by the staff of the grocery shop. ‘’I am so sorry ma’am.’’ The young lady of the staff said. I smiled nicely at her. ‘’It’s oké.’’ And continued looking for everything else we needed.

After paying and double checking if we had everything we headed back to the club. Kip was carrying more then he could and I had two bags. ‘’Don’t you think we may have bought to much?’’ he had difficulty walking due the extra wight. ‘’No, with those animals, you can never have enough.’’ I thought back to a couple lockdowns back, we had enough to last two weeks. One week in and the kitchen was empty.

The prospect arrived just after Kip and I had left. The young man in his late twenties of Puerto Rican descent with a mohawk and head tattoos reported to my mother in her office. A soft knock could be heard on the door. ‘’Come in.’’ Gemma called from within the room. Carefully he opened the door and stepped into the small office. Gemma turned herself in her chair and looked at the young man. ‘’I'm looking for Jax Teller. Do you know where I can find him?’’ He immediately got into business. ‘’And who may you be?’’ She asked uninterested, ignoring his question. ‘’My name is Juan Ortiz, I'm the new prospect.’’ He continued talking.

Gemma looked him up and down. ‘’Great.’’ she said and stood up. ‘’Sit’’ She said as if he was a dog and walked out. He did what she said and took a seat in one of the chairs next to the desk. ‘’Don’t touch anything.’’ Gemma said before walking out the door, heading to the clubhouse.

We entered the parking lot of the club and headed inside. ‘’Maybe we should have taken the car.’’ I said as the realization hit me. My feet were sore and I felt bad for Kip. ‘’Need a drink?’’ I asked him, placing the bags on the pool table.

Kip placed his bags on the table as well and made a relieving sound. ‘’I can’t feel my arms anymore, and I am not allowed to drink, yet.’’ he said, pouting. It was one of Jax many weird rules, prospects don’t drink from the bar. ‘’Oh toughen up, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, I am the one who offers.’’ Making my way behind the bar.

Neither one of us knew my mother was in the chapel as well until they walked out. Kip was sitting on one of the bar stools and I stood behind the bar. Both a glass of whiskey in hand.  The door opened and every one walked out one by one. First my mother, followed by my brother and then the rest of the group.

The first thing Jax noticed was Kip drinking. ‘’What did I tell you,’’ he started but I stopped him. ‘’Shut up and let him have it. He deserved it.’’ I said trying to point him Jax his direction. Kip crabbed my arm and pointed it more to my left. Now I was pointing at Jax. Some chuckles filled the room, mostly of the others while Jax stood with an amused expression. I was the only one who could talk back to him like that.

After a good laugh my mother asked Jax to follow her. The others joined us at the bar for a drink. ‘’You know my poison, doll.’’ Tig said seductively and winked, while adding a sound effect. So I would now he winked, not that I wasn’t already thinking that.

I grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. Everything was labeled with braille, the shelves, the bottles, all to make my life easier. Placing the beer on the bar and before I could let go Tig already took it from me. ‘’Thank you, dear.’’ he said with the utmost sweet voice he could muster.

While we had fun in the clubhouse, talking and drinking, Jax walked back to the office with Gemma. Inside Juan still sitting on the chair, looking like a lost puppy. He noticed the two walking in and stood up immediately. ‘’I’m,’’ he started while holding out his hand, but Jax cut him off. ‘’Don’t care follow me.’’ Jax said and turned around to walk back to the clubhouse.

Every new prospect was treated like a no body when they first got here. The sooner you grew a pair and stood up against them the sooner you got treated as an equal. They both entered the room and all the heads turned to them. I stood still leaning against the bar looking ahead of me.

Neither of the guys spend much attention to Jax and kept talking. The two walked over to the bar, standing close to it to hear their conversation. ‘’One rule, don’t piss off the lady.’’ Jax said while pointing to me, knowing I could hear them. Juan followed his gaze and looked at me. ‘’I don’t see,’’ he started and a smirk played along my lips. Their it was, the one thing I hoped he would say. ‘’Well neither can I.’’ I said as the bitch I can be.

Everyone else tried to hold back their laughter. ‘’I’m sorry?’’ he asked a small panic in his voice, not realizing I was blind. ‘’What did he say about not pissn’ of the lady’’ Chibs said in the most Scottish way possible. The boy looked horrified. ‘’Well? What can’t you ‘’see’’?’’ I asked with quotation marks when I said see.

I looked in their directions, waiting for him to speak. ‘’I don’t see how I could piss of such lovely lady.’’ He stuttered a bit. Licking my lips I thought of what to say next, but I thought we had already scared him enough for now. ‘’Don’t worry, you don’t piss me off that easily.’’ I flashed him a soft smile.

But not everyone agreed with my statement because Tig snorted loudly. ‘’Watch it Trager, before I put real poison in your drink next time.’’ I shot him a death glare as I put down my sunglasses. He knew I didn’t mean any of it, and couldn’t help but laugh. ‘’You love me to much to have me dead, doll.’’ I shook my head and laughed, knowing it was true.

I turned back to Jax and Juan. ‘’Please take a seat.’’ I gestured to a hopefully empty stool. Jax excused him self and walked back into the chapel as his phone ringed. Juan took a seat and I pored him a glass of orange juice. ‘’Here you go.’’ I placed it on the bar and another fit of snickers and laughter erupted from the others. ‘’Orange juice?’’ He questioned.

Leaning with my elbows on the bar I turned to him. ‘’Got a problem with that?’’ I tried to look at him straight but failed, I ended up looking past him. ‘’No, not at all.’’ he said careful not knowing how els to respond. ‘’Good, so tell me, what is your name?’’ A playful smile lingered around my lips, the boy in front of me sounded to innocent and brought a different type of myself to the surface.

For a strange reason I felt comfortable around him, even tough we’ve just met. ‘’Juan Ortiz.’’ He held out his hand and waited for me to shake it. ‘’Yeah, we ain’t gonna call you that for ever.’’ Standing back up straight and ignoring his outstretched hand. Here most of us had a nick name or something els then our real name to go by. Most men just called me pet names in staid of my name.

Juan looked at me, more like staring at me. ‘’What is your problem?’’ He blurred out, realizing what he had said once it was to late. ‘’Excuse me?’’ I said turning my head once more in his direction. This time I meant being bitchy. The boys went silent and I could hear someone walking towards my side of the bar. ‘’Well you see,’’ I had to interrupt him then and there. ‘’That is my fucking problem, I CAN’T.’’ I said angry and ripped off my sunglasses tossing them god knows where.

I looked at him, my face exposed to him. It was the one thing I was insecure about, my eyes. The were pearl withe and glossy, but the skin around my eyes was red and burned. A gasp left his lips and he was lost of words. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ I said and walked away, nearly tripping over someones feet. ‘’Sweetheart.’’ Tig tried to hold me back, he was standing behind me and it were his feet I tripped over. ‘’Don’t.’’ I said with a trembling voice.

I brushed past him and walked outside, forgetting my cain behind the bar. ‘’I.. I uhm didn’t know.’’ Juan started but didn’t know how to continue. ‘’It was kinda obvious, you could have seen her scaring, even whit sunglasses and there is braille everywhere.’’ Opie stated the obvious. Juan began to feel more guilty by the second. ‘’I should talk to her.’’ he started and looked for my sunglasses to give them back to me. ‘’I don’t think that’s the best idea.’’ Jax said, standing in the door frame leading to the chapel.

He walked over to Juan and took the glasses from him. ‘’Don’t take it personal. Losing her sight took a toll on her.’’ For the first time ever to a prospect, Jax spoke in a soft and empathic way. ‘’She wasn’t always blind?’’ He looked up at Jax, registering what he had said. ‘’No, and that is not my story to tell.’’ With a sigh Jax walked outside looking for me. Already knowing where I would be.

We both shared a lot of things, from music taste to disliking the same people and even our hiding place when things get to complicated. It was on the roof of the office, at first it was scary to climb the latter but now it didn’t bother me any more.

Hearing the familiar screeching of the latter I knew someone was coming up. A while back Jax had brought up two chairs to sit on so he took a seat next to me. ‘’What is wrong?’’ he asked worried. ‘’Everything.’’ I said in between sobs. Without saying another word he pulled me closer in to a tight hug. ‘’I didn’t mean to lash out to him like that.’’ I said after a while still crying my eyes out.

Somedays everything got to much to handle and I needed a good cry. ‘’He knows.’’ we sat like this till I completely calmed down. ‘’So, wanna tell me what happened at the store today?’’ I shook my head. ‘’Not really, it’s not worth it.’’ it really wasn’t I could take care of myself. ‘’Alright.’’ he said quietly.

Jax gave back my sunglasses and cain, we were about to head back inside when he was once again intercepted by the ringing of his phone. He looked at the caller ID and put the phone away. ‘’He can wait, family is more important.’’ He threw his arm around my shoulder. We entered the clubhouse and I took a seat on the cough.

The rest of the day went by rather quickly. Jax had yet another club thing to discus and my mother was also making over hours, so I asked Tig to drive me home. That night another nightmare corrupted my sleep.

Fire, everything was on fire. The walls, the floors. The heat alone was burning my skin. The smoke filling my lungs. Tears filled eyes, trying to find my way to the screaming women.

Finding her wasn’t the difficult part, it was getting out unnoticed what would be tricky. My mouth covered with my sleeve, searching for a way out. Climbing out the window I came in from.

With a gasp I jolted up straight. Panting heavily, crying softly. Cold sweat covered my body once again. Never had I nightmares of the accident that caused me to lose my vision, it was always what I had done to deserve it.

The nightmares got worse and worse each night. It would be seven years ago, in a couple days and the days leading to that anniversary, always took a toll on my mental health. At night I didn’t sleep and the day I tried to distract myself by bonding with Juan, who I kept calling Juicy or Juice. All because I still give him a glass of juice when we gather around the bar for drinks.

Not only did I feel worse each day but I looked worse too. Walking into the clubhouse I was greeted by Juice. ‘’He… oef you look like the dead.’’ he joked and kissed my cheek. ‘’Careful, before you are son.’’ Chibs said with a laugh in voice. I let out a tired laugh. ‘’Don’t worry, you are to adorable to kill.’’ I patted his chest before making my way to the cough and sitting down.

It was a slow day until Jax called everyone on a run. ‘’Alright, we are needed by our brothers in the town next door, so saddle up.’’ Jax looked around the room and saw sitting on the coughs with my knees to my chest and my chin resting on them. ‘’Juice,’’ he started waiting for the prospect to look up. ‘’I need you to stay here. I need some one here to look after my sister.’’ He too looked at me. ‘’Of course.’’ he said, at the time not knowing why it was so important for Jax.

I was so in my own thoughts that I didn’t catch a word of what had been said. I felt the couch sink in next to me. ‘’Hey, darlin’.’’ Jax said softly, placing a hand on my arm. ‘’Uh?’’ I asked turning my head to wards him. ‘’Did you heard what I just said?’’ he asked and I shook my head. ‘’The boys and I are leaving. Juice is staying here with you.’’ He explained.

I was to tired to argue so I nodded. ‘’Be careful.’’ I said as I hugged my brother. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as he could to his chest. ‘’When am I not?’’ He jokingly asked, causing me to laugh. ‘’Don’t get me started.’’ I had a list of the times he was everything but careful.

Every one got an hour to go home and pack, before meeting back at the club. Now everyone was ready to leave. Juice and me stood outside. I never let them leave without a hug. Once I couldn’t hear the roaring of their motors, we headed back inside.

Together we sat at the cough. ‘’What do you want to do?’’ Juice asked me, a little nervous. I could feel him bouncing his leg. ‘’Can we just listen to music. I don’t feel like doing anything.’’ I said between yawing. ‘’Sure.’’ he said and put on a playlist.

It didn’t last long before I fell asleep. My head fell on his shoulder and I tried to make myself comfortable. Juice looked down at me and smiled. He too noticed how tired I was lately, he tried to make me talk about it but I didn’t want to.

Juice tried to lay down on the cough without waking me. He took of my sunglasses and lay them on the table. Together we lay on the coughs, wrapped in each others arms. First it was a peaceful slumber but soon was corrupted by nightmares. I started to twitch slightly and murmur in my sleep.

Not knowing what was going on, Juice looked down on me again. ‘’Are you oke?’’ he asked quietly, but not getting a respond. The nightmare got only worse by the second and soon enough I screamed out in terror before waking up.

For a second I didn’t know where I was. Juice got up too and grabbed my hand. ‘’It was just a dream.’’ he said in a soft tone, trying to calm me down. ‘’What ever happened can not hurt you here.’’ He pulled me into a hug and held me till I stopped crying. ‘’Please talk to me about it. I hate to see you like this.’’ He wiped away the tears from my face.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. ‘’Alright, I will tell you what has been haunting me for seven years.’’ It took me a significant amount of courage to say those words. Of course everyone who was there that day knew what happened but I never talked about it with no one except for my brother. As we sat back down on the cough I started my story, reliving it as I spoke.

Seven years ago, I walked trough rival territory, fully aware that I shouldn’t have been there. As I was walking down the street, the smell of smoke filled my nostrils. Looking around the area I noticed smoke rising in the air. I followed its trail back to the source and saw that it came from the Calaveras club house.

With my head low, I walked trough the crowd that had gathered in the street. Once I was clear from the crowd I picked up my paste, knowing I needed to get the hell away from there.

Walking past the burning clubhouse I heard a women screaming for help. It pained me to hear her scream, begging for someone to save her. Till this day I still don’t know why none of the firefighters went back inside to save her. With myself in battle of what to do, I either lost or won, but I went inside trough a back window.

Following the woman’s scream, covering my mouth with my sleeve to prevent smoke inhalation. The screams came from behind a closed door, it was either locked or blocked. Kicking in the door, was the only possible way to enter. Black smoke filled the room and I could barely see the woman in front of me.

I ran towards her and helped her up. With one arm around her waist and the other holding on her arm that laid over my shoulder, we made our way to the door. The closer we got to the exit, the more screams from the outside I could hear.

Mainly I heard the screams of Hector Salazar. ‘’My wife is still in there!’’ So they knew that she was missing. I brought her as close to the exit as I could, she had to walk out the last few meters. No one could know I was there.

Carefully pushing the women to the exit I said. ‘’You got this, just keep moving.’’ She nodded and held herself steady against the wall. ‘’You got this.’’ I said again before turning around to make my way out trough the same window I came in from.

I thought that she had already turned around before I did, but she didn’t and saw my vest. She saw the Sons logo on my back and she tried to tell her husband that I saved her. But once he heard that the sons were involved he made the conclusion I was also the one who started the fire. And he wanted revenge.

My voice was horse from crying and talking. Juice held my hands the entire time I talked, to let me now he was still there. He would squeeze my hand every now and then to let me know he was still paying attention. ‘’But that still doesn’t explain you losing your sight.’’ He noted, after I was silent for a couple minutes.

It made me laugh weakly. ‘’You are so impatient sometimes.’’ I said with a small giggle in my voice. ‘’First he showed up at the clubhouse, threatening me. He had me followed by his men to harm me. But when I didn’t left the clubhouse anymore in fear of my safety, he had to get creative.’’ My heart was beating way to fast and breathing was uneven.

We sat around the bar having a laugh and a drink when Tig brought in a package. For me. He placed in front of me on the bar. ‘’For you, doll.’’ he said, kissing the top of my head, that being the first time to see me that day.

Not remembering I had order something, I examined the box. For as far I could see there was nothing suspicious about it so I opened it. As I opened it and looked inside something exploded and a wet substance burned its way onto my face.

Turning my head to my hands I continued. ‘’It was an acid bomb, not big enough to take me out. But to leave a message. That is how I lost my sight.’’ New tears filled my eyes and I didn’t fought to hold them back.

I let them stain my face, I let everything that I had bottled up the past seven years out. ‘’I never should have been walking in that neighbourhood in the first place. Cause this is what you get for saving the enemies wife.’’ I faced Juice, pointing at my face. ‘’I hate waking up, every day, not being able to see the faces of every one I care about. I hate my self,’’ Juice interrupted me by placing his hand on my cheek.

He tilled my head slightly up so I faced him head on. ‘’You saved a life, she is alive because of your bravery. Never hate yourself, cause to me, you are perfect.’’ I was lost of words and couldn’t help but smile. I hugged him once more and never wanting to let go.

[scrapbookonthemantle]

OC Companion Meme

i got tagged by @ultrastimpaks​ !! thanks gio love u 

rules: pick out a fallout oc and fill out the prompts!

tagging uh. @sleights-of-hand​ @rocket-69​ and @rotarydials​​ !!

THE BASICS

>> which game would they be from?

Fallout 3

>> where would you find them?

A random encounter in the subways!

>> how do you recruit them?

"Just put it down! I didn't do anything to you!" Oppy shouts at the pair while holding her hands in the air.

"Aw, you really think I care, don't you?" The raider throws Oppy's backpack to another, who begins to dig through its contents.

"Never said that. Just give it back and I'll be on my--"

(I wrote it out as a dialogue tree scenario! Read the rest here!)

After rescuing Oppy from the raiders, you have the option to recruit her as a traveling companion.

>> do they have a specialized task?

If you give her dirty water, she’ll eventually hand back purified water!

(First time picking up dirty water with Oppy traveling with you) “Oooh! My mom taught me how to boil all the dirt and stuff out of water ages ago. I can clean those up for you if you want! Much healthier too, don’t want you getting sick on me!”

(Giving her dirty water) “Oh yuck! Will get this back to you as soon as I can!”

(Handing back purified water) “Bye dirt! You belong with the plants, not in my drinking water, thank you very much!”

>> do they give the player items? if yes, which items?

Oppy will occasionally pick up miscellaneous items on your journey with her. Sometimes they’ll even be useful! She will occasionally share them with the player. The things she picks up can range from an old pre-war phone to a stray stimpak she nabbed.

>> do they have a personal quest? if yes, what would it be?

Oppy doesn’t have a personal quest, but she’ll occasionally bring up smaller quests to go to different places around the DC area for research purposes. The player will likely need to take down low-level enemies from these locations before Oppy is able to complete her research.

If enough quests are completed, the player is granted the ‘In the Know!’ perk. This will grant special dialogue options while Oppy is by your side. 

(For example, during the Stealing Independence quest if you have Oppy by your side you can ask Abraham to tell you more about the location you’re going to.)

>> can you romance them?

No.

(If flirted with) “Oh! Well, I’m flattered, but I’m not really looking for romance right now. I’d rather just go on more adventures with you! Where to next?”

>> what perk would they give the player?

Walking on Sunshine: Well-rested will always be granted after sleeping in a bed - being around Opportunity just seems to put you in a good mood! You also receive bonus EXP for any non-combat related actions.

>> what are their SPECIAL stats?

S - 6, P - 4, E - 6, C - 9, I - 8, A - 7, L - 7

AFFINITY

>> loves

- Using a cooking station. “I love cooking! Do you need any help? I know what I’m doing, believe it or not.”

- Helping others, doing good deeds. “Good work! Some people are just down on their luck.”

- Taking down Paradise Falls. “No one deserves to be treated like that. No one.”

- Choosing the non-violent option in quests. “You handled that well! Sometimes words work better than bullets.”

>> likes

- Helping Moira with the Wasteland Survival Guide. “I know it’s tough, but it’s going to help a lot of people! No, really! ...What do you mean I sound just like her, shut up!”

- Siding with Roy Phillips and doing the non-violent route of the Tenpenny Tower quest. “You did the right thing, that Alistair guy is an asshole. ...Excuse my language.”

>> neutral

- Entering vaults. “The so-called height of the pre-war era... Did you know they were experimenting on people even before the bombs dropped? Cruel. We should get out of here as soon as we can.”

>> dislikes

- Drinking alcohol or using chems. “Hey! Being intoxicated isn’t going to help us get anywhere!”

- Pickpocketing/Stealing. “What are you doing?! Put that back!”

- Attempting to unlock owned doors or objects. “Stop it! How would you like it if I blatantly ignored your privacy? Those are locked for a reason!”

- Killing brahmin. “If you wanted to be a butcher you could have just said so, but this isn’t the time or place. What did they do to you?”

>> hates

- Leaving Harold alive during the Oasis quest. “I want plants back just as much as anyone else, but this isn’t the way to do it. He’s suffering at the hands of these people... Maybe you should have rethought that.” (Oppy will pull you aside to try talking you out of it multiple times during the quest.)

- Blowing up Megaton. “Why... would you.... I don’t understand your- What? You know what? No. I can’t stand to look at your face. Don’t try explaining yourself, I’m leaving. Don’t come running after me, either.” (Oppy will permanently leave you if you blow up Megaton. She will pull you aside to try talking you out of it multiple times throughout the quest.)

- Siding with the Brotherhood. “I’m afraid I don’t get why you would do that... They’re only out to help themselves. Have you seen the way they treat anyone different from their own?”

VOICE LINES

>> “use melee”

"Oh! Okay, I got my bat ready! I’ll try my best!”

>> “use ranged”

"I’m not sure that’s the best decision, I always seem to lose my ammo...”

>> “stay close”

“Right behind you! I’ll try not to trip you up.”

>> “keep distance”

“Got it! They’ll never see us- Er... Me, coming!” 

>> “back up”

“Oh sorry, was I too close?”

>> “be passive”

“Great! That’s my specialty.”

>> “be aggressive”

“Why would you want me to do that?”

>> “wait here”

“No problem! Do you want me to set up a camp while I wait?”

>> “follow me”

“Off we go!”

>> when healed

“Ow ow ow- Oh, thanks! You sure we don’t have to amputate?”

>> when killed (general)

“This wasn’t... how I planned this going...”

>> when killed (by player)

“I trusted you!”

>> when talking

“Back home my granmama would always make these tato cakes- they were the BEST. You’d love ‘em. Maybe I could make them for you sometime!”

“There’s a lot more to learn about our history than you’d think. Doesn’t do any good to just ignore it when it’s all repeating itself again.”

“One time my cousins and I were out playing in a nearby creek when we were young and Matty got his leg stuck in the mud.. We were out there for HOURS until my dad and my uncle came out to rescue us. Hey, at least we got snacks afterward!”

“Don’t you find feral ghouls fascinating? I mean, basically losing your mind and who you are as a person.. Only hanging onto what little threads of memory you can hang onto. Must be hard.”

“I think the Capitol Preseveration Society is doing good work, even if most people don’t appreciate it. History has to be remembered somehow!”

“Back home we didn’t have a lot of plants, but we at least had more than there are here.. Sometimes I get tired of all the concrete and rubble.”

“You know... As much as I enjoy looking back at history and all, I don’t want you to think I want to go back to it. Pre-war wasn’t good, I mean, hell, it ended up with a nuclear war that brought us to where we are now.”

“I’ve always thought people should make more of their own music. My family was always singing and drumming against things... I rarely see any of that around here. It’s kinda gloomy, really!”

“I’m not a fan of that Brotherhood of Steel group... They say they’re preserving old technology, but they’re not really helping anybody or teaching anyone outside of their crew, are they?”

>> when trading (neutral)

“Shoot... Which pocket did I put this in again?”

“Hold on, I think I lost... Nope, there it is.��

>> when trading (happy)

“Oh good! Do you have snacks?”

“I assure you I’ll handle your things with the UTMOST care and attention. I even have a dust rag around here somewhere!”

>> when dismissed

“Oh, okay... I’ll be in Rivet City if you need me!”

[baebeyza]

megatron! :>

Thank you! <3

Something I could have done for Magnus as well, saying which versions of the character I am familiar with:

G1, Beast Wars, Beast Wars II*, Beast Machines, Robots in Disguise 2001, TFA, TFP, Prime Wars Trilogy, Cyberverse *The character in Beast Wars II is called Megastorm actually, I simply choose to see him as another version of Megatron

favorite thing about them

Generally I love me a Megatron if he’s competent, powerful and has lots of agency ~  Just the general “I will let nothing stop me” attitude is something to admire <3 As Prime Wars proved it, he doesn’t need to be evil to work like this :D ~

least favorite thing about them

Any version of him that aint competent or has no agency. I don’t like him in Cyberverse because he’s a friggin dumbass who cannot come up with his own plans and in RiD01 he was boring due to rarely doing anything himself and just letting the henchmen do everything. Beast Machines Megs isn’t as bad, but it’s hard to engage with him if he’s only stuck in his room in season 1 or a giant floating head for most of season 2 (love him in the last episode though, that last episode is a TREAT! ~) Generally though?  The fact that #Megatron Origins gives us this awesome design with his actual head design (sensory panel) sticking out around his face, but they never use it anywhere else! Anywhere else it’s  just his “brow” on his forehead that we see from the sensory panels, but it looks so much better like this!  And YES, that is exactly why I draw him with that, no matter what design I actually use! :D And at least TFA has something similiar ~

favorite line

G1: “Such heroic nonsense” iconic ~ (from the movie) Beast Wars: "I can suffer your treachery, lieutenant, but not your incompetence! Treachery requires no mistakes." words of wisdom Beast Machines: "See how quickly your friends turn on you? They promised you great power, but only I delivered it. They abandoned you, Rattrap. They did worse than hate you. They pitied you." David Kaye’s delivery was pretty good! Also he’s right TFA: “If I cannot save my clones, I’ll at least have the satisfacting of destroying you, Optimus Prime!” awww, he remembered Oppy’s name! <3<3<3 TFP: “My greatest mistake? I’ve made a few. But there is one I do not intent to make again.” Megan be ready to swoop Starscream’s ass RiD01: “What are you doing, Black Convoy? You just humiliated me in front of the humans!” Megs cares about his evil image XD Gosh, that was a funny scene xD Prime Wars: "What was that you always used to say, Prime? Oh, that's right. Transform and roll out!" Come on, this is GOLD! <3

brOTP

G1 and TFP: Soundwave Beast Wars: BW Megs aint no bro, he’s a hoe TFA: Shockwave Prime Wars: Grimlock and Percy And Galvatron, literally, after Beast Wars II I really enjoy AUs and headcanons with him and Galvy being brothers ~ Made my own piece of that too, and do have more ideas ~ :D

OTP

Starscream (G1 mostly, dont like it much in TFA and Cyberverse) Optimus (TFA) Dinobot in Beast Wars Windblade (Prime Wars, do they actually interact anywhere else?)

nOTP

n/a

random headcanon

Beast Wars: Did Theater and thats were he met Dinobot. They were both theater kids, you cannot change my mind

unpopular opinion

He was a total dumbass in Beast Wars season 1, though season 2&3 saved him

song i associate with them

Trials by Starset I cant wait by Celldweller (net afection remix) for the shippy feels :>

favorite picture of them

^ hate him so much, he’s perfect

[sinkingcanoe]

Hunk Headcanons (+gen Garrison Trio)

(1.) He’s an only child That’s part of why Hunk’s so quick to adopt Keith and Lance as his brothers, honestly, he always wanted a sibling and other kids could be jerks sometimes. Being the chubby kid is bad enough without also being The Smart One. So he just wants people to hug and share his food with and have that brotherly stuff he’s seen on tv. It’s also why he’s so terrible about privacy, he didn’t grow up with siblings fighting for their own space and stuff, so he’s just like… what do you mean I shouldn’t read your diary Pidge… it was right there… Pidge why can’t I play with your computer it’s so cool… I bet I could make it even better if you just let me take a look… why is this a big deal?? please let me play with the cool robot too??

(2.) He hates soda. Like, listen, if you have to have caffeine to exist (Pidge and Shiro tbh), at least drink coffee? Or tea? Hunk is a big herbal tea dude, but black tea is great for when he’s tired. It depends on his mood and what he’s eating. His favorite flavor is pomegranate rose. It just has this lovely aroma when the steam rises, like potpourri.

(3.) He was on master chef junior as a small child. Hunk took second place, which kills him to this day, but he got no less than three Gordon Ramsey hugs. Lance doesn’t believe him, even with photographic evidence. Keith totally watched that season in one of the better foster homes, so he gives Hunk weird looks for a bit at the beginning before he recognizes him. Then, as usual, Keith’s mind is blown. Lance refuses to accept Keith’s word as additional evidence. Hunk is smug tho.

(4.) Hunk wants to help Pidge with more stuff, she’s just a jealous brat (ha, green eyed monster) who never learned to share. Mostly out of spite bc Matt was terrible about taking things and then breaking them. Pidge has trust issues with letting ppl touch her stuff thanks to him. They’re working on it. In the end she gives in bc Hunk fixes everything he breaks. Pidge breaks more stuff than he does, so he’s kinda like… ha. Told you so.

(5.) Hunk is still kinda uneasy over Pidge’s whole “I don’t have time for you” thing from when they first met? And he gets it now, she’s trying to find her family, which is SUPER important. I mean he was on her side about leaving at first, his family is small but they’re all he has and he wants to go back to them. But just bc he understands doesn’t make him comfortable? In some ways it’s worse, bc now he feels bad about it, like every time he wants to hang out with Pidge he’s just wasting her time or getting in the way. Then one day he’s got this software problem, and honestly, Hunk is fine with the basics but he IS NOT a software guy. Just let him at the moving parts and they’re fine. Intricate code where forgetting one freaking parenthesis will fuck the whole thing up? No. Anyway so he finally gives up and goes to Pidge. Says he knows she’s really busy but he’s stuck, and if she has a minute to take a look he’d really appreciate it? And Pidge is just like, for you? Always. And Hunk doesn’t say anything but his heart… just… grows three sizes, he’s just really touched tbh. He bothers her more often after that, and she gets impatient easily but she never turns him away.

(6.) Pidge, unlike Keith and Lance, isn’t really on his sibling-wavelength. Hunk kinda sees her as his partner in crime. His fellow evil genius. He insists that since they pilot a giant robot together through the power of their minds they’re drift compatible. She’s basically his platonic life partner.

(7.) Lance gets kinda jealous of Pidge unintentionally stealing his best friend, until Hunk reminds him they’re brothers. Then Lance holds that over Pidge’s head (sometimes literally) like, ha, you’re not sibling material. Her response basically sums up to, listen my one sibling experience was objectively terrible, I don’t need another one. But he’s MY terrible, so I have to go get him back.

(8.) Despite having been ON a cooking show, Hunk can’t watch cooking shows anymore. He gets sympathetic nerves. He questions every decision they make. He once LITERALLY TORE HIS HAIR OUT over their bad decisions, like, WHY would you DO THAT, ugh. It’s like hardcore sports fans watching the game on tv. There’s screaming and judging and groaning and cheering. It is An Experience to witness.

(9.) He loves Kaltenecker, really. Hunk is a kind and gentle soul who is good to animals. But he’s SO TIRED of space goo that sometimes he just stares at the cow… thinking of all the food he could make from the cow… Burgers, obv. But French dip sandwiches. Meatloaf. Tri-tip. Beef stroganoff. Ribs, he would die for honey-bbq ribs. And he knows he’d need not just a dead cow but also a bunch of other earth ingredients for this stuff, but a man can DREAM, OKAY??

(10.) His favorite NASA robot is the Opportunity. Hunk is embarrassingly parentally proud of this determined little robot. First teenager in space. He calls her Oppy, and tbh he did not want to be a flight crew engineer. His scores were too good so they pressured him onto that track, Hunk really wanted to help design the ships and the rovers. Just let him play with electronics all day, stop making him ride the terrible zero-g sims.

(11.) Hunk can fly the Green lion in an emergency, and he feels really honored about it. Like, he loves Yellow, Yellow is the best, he would not trade his lion for Green. But he likes knowing he can pilot two lions, and Green is so salty and blunt that being in her head is almost like hanging out with Pidge. But it only ever happens when Pidge is unable to pilot her own lion, usually on stealth missions gone wrong, so it comes with some bad associations. Hunk’s never had time to just sit and enjoy it; always gogogo, run, gotta get Pidge to a healing pod, gotta help the others. Pidge can’t pilot Yellow, but very very rarely Lance can. Pidge can pilot Red sometimes, though. She has a lot of rage and rebelliousness packed into a very tiny body. It’s heavily concentrated. Hunk knows this, and wishes that she and Lance had at least one iota of chill between them. They do not.

Anyway add your own if you want!

[baebeyza]

For the ship asks... Megop?

Thank you! ~

MegOp is prolly the biggest ship, isn’t it?

It’s one of those ships were there is a hella lot of fan content for and you just gotta like some of them ~

But when it comes to actually shipping it myself and not just liking fanart, I barely ship it myself.

Most of the time their dynamic begins and ends with being enemies and beyond that nothing much happens, which makes it un-interesting to me and therefore I have no interest in exploring it via shipping. 

The only exception is TFA!

Most TF media has Oppy and Megs be at war for a long time, and the story we see is just that - them being sworn enemies for millenia.

TFA does it differently, it doesn’t make them sworn enemies from the very start, no, they only really become sworn enemies at the end!

Megatron doesn’t acknowledge Optimus as a serious threat until the last episode and is usually more dismissive of him throughout the show.

And gotta say, I loved that way more than anything else, a story about one little autobot constantly pissing of the mighty warlord until the warlord is forced to acknowledge him as his no.1 enemy. 

That’s far more interesting to me than what most other shows offer, them just hating each other from the start and being nemesis’ non stop. Yeah, some shows give them a backstory where they are friends and the nemesis relationship can be read as ex’s (TFP, RiD01), but that doesn’t change that the dynamic in those shows is rather static and doesn’t change at all.

Like the TFP dynamics has some awesome twists (Megatron helping to defeat Unicron and Oppy’s memory loss), but in the end their feelings for each other never change.

And in RiD01 you have one line about the fact that they knew each other for a long time, but then you never actually get a meaningful confrontation between them again. Optimus there is way more conflicted about his evil clone in that show. 

In TFA there is a change, Megs going from “insignificant autobot” to “I will destroy you, Optimus Prime!”

And that shit also shows Oppy’s characterisation of being persistent and never giving up!

There is another cartoon in which Megs and Oppy didn’t knew each other before, Beast Wars, but in that show the focus is never actually about the dynamic between them. I don’t remember them ever having any kind of personal conflict or interaction, they are just enemies of two factions. 

Though of course they have this

Their dynamic felt a lot more personal in Beast Machines, because at that point I am sure Megs really started to actively hate Oppy, if the last episode is anything to go by. [Spoiler] I mean Megs constructs his new body to look like Optimus’ last transmetal form and then beats the shit out of him for like 15 minutes straight, you wouldn’t do that to your enemy without some personal grudge 🤔

When it comes to other shows, Prime Wars has some feels I guess? I am all for Megatron x Windblade in that show, but Megatron and Optimus sure have a lot of nice scene’s as well, and for once it’s barely ever hostile.

I mean Optimus uses Megatron as a gun, what more do you want? xD

And it’s never stated in the show, but I do believe that Megatron feels some responsibility for Optimus’ death and that is part of the reason why he goes out on the quest to save the world, where previously he had no interest at all and needed to be convinced to help. 

This show sure has some unique MegOp stuff because for once they arent enemies, but still - I prefer MegaBlade there xD But I guess if you are a MegOp shipper and don’t mind the fact that Prime Wars is kinda shit, you can get something out of their scenes.  Last but not least - Cyberverse.

And I will just say, I am not a fan of Cyberverse so I ship nothing in it. Also I hate that version of Megatron, which is part of the reason why I don’t like the show much x’D

[baebeyza]

Thoughts on Ultra Magnus?

Thank you ~

Okay so my first experience with Ultra Magnus was in TFP and I cannot say I liked him much in that. I blame the fact that he wasn’t really given that much screentime and I just didn’t really care for his beef with Wheeljack and the one lesson they had with them all being family kinda feels flat to me because in this show they never actually felt like a family to me. 

I didn’t dislike him by all means, but I couldnt really get behind his military personality. (Did fucking love his fight against Predaking with Wheeljack though, best fight in all of transformer media if you ask me!)

Next time I saw him was G1 and I really loved him here! He has this strict no-bullshit character like in TFP, but we see more of him through different character interactions. He could get really exasperated when dealing with Roddy, he had this sweet rivalry with Cyclonus and a good dynamic with Marissa and Daniel. And he was allowed to be fun, I liked that a lot :D

Next was Headmasters and the only thing I remember him doing is dying, so xD It was a nice episode though and you really feel for his death

In TFA he’s a bit of a mixed bag? I mean first he doesn’t appear much on screen anyway and when he does, he doesn’t really do that much. Like he doesn’t really do anything cool and exciting. I guess the best he does is giving Optimus his position as repair-bot leader. There really isn’t much to hold unto really.

And then there is RiD01 and mate, he’s just so different from what you’d expect Ultra Magnus to be and I friggin loved it! :D He is Optimus Prime’s twin here and he fucking hates Oppy, because he thinks that he should be the matrix holder.

Comes into the show beating the decepticons, beating the autobots, beating Optimus and once his arc is finished he just lurks around like the anti-hero he is :D (tbh he prolly stalks Sideburn because in the japanese version he really, really likes Sideburn xD)

Part of the reason why I love him despite being so different from how he’s usually portrayed is that he brings some much-needed excitment and drama into the show, as the only autobot who challenges Optimus in some way. 

I find it really boring when Optimus or another autobot leader are always just respected and liked, that’s not interesting! I like it when they get challenged somehow or at least have different dynamics with the other autobots.

And Magnus in RiD01 delivers in making Optimus a more developed character while also being something fresh and new himself! Last but not least, Siege, and I gotta say, I loved him before the show even came out. Mostly because I saw the trailer and poster and thought “He’s so friggin pretty!” xD But I was also intrigued about what his story would be and I was not disappointed, I really loved his role in the show! Loved the dynamic and angst with Megatron, his personality, his loyalty and honour, wonderful man! <3 Hope he will still be important for Earthrise and Kingdom quq

So in general, he’s my favourite autobot and second character after Megatron ~

I love his most common portayal as a strict but caring, loyal and honourable autobot and the one time he’s not written like that didn’t bother me as I loved that as well!

When he is written well it’s as a foil to another character. In G1 he is a foil to Roddy and Cyclonus, in Headmasters to Sixshot, in RiD01 to Optimus, in TFP with Wheeljack and in Siege to Megatron. (doesnt really foil anyone in TFA tbh)

He’s a character type you pair with another to bring more out of both of them :>