#there is so much context needed for these two but idc

[lord-owlsnake]

pssssst @altschmerzes

[charlottesbookclub]

ser gwayne hightower fluff alphabet 💚💚

Summary: just what it says on the tin: fluff alphabet for my boy gwayne (do people still do these anymore? idc I'm doing it bc I love reading them and I thought I'd try writing one myself 😌😌)

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; spouse!reader; established relationship (marriage); we are all going to have fluff-induced cavities after this, I fear (it's more absolute tooth-rotting fluff, y'all!); let me know if I've missed anything! ☺️

Words: 2985

Author’s Note: I'm meeting with my phd advisor today which is going to be totally fine (she is so super sweet) but my brain decided we were going to have major anxiety about it, and what better way to distract myself than by writing fluff for gwayne!! 🥰💚 I've never done one of these before, but I always enjoyed reading them, so I thought I'd try it myself! ☺️ I like that it lets me explore his character without having the pressure of a plot lol

as always, I hope y'all enjoy and feel free to let me know your thoughts!! ☺️💕

template by: magical-warlock

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Honestly anything. I feel like if it was something you enjoyed, Gwayne would find himself enjoying it too, just because you were happy. But I think like he would really like going on leisurely walks or horse rides together. It’s an activity that allows you to talk and get to know one another, but where you can also explore the beauty of a garden or forest together. I could totally see him bringing a book along and reading it aloud to you under a tree.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Everything lmao. But your eyes stand out to him, especially when he can read all the things you don’t say out loud in them. I feel like he would also appreciate intellect, common sense, and wit. He is clearly sooooo done with Criston’s weird dumb bullshit, and I think someone who was rational and level-headed but not afraid to crack a joke or two (especially at Criston’s expense lmaooooo) would be really appealing to him.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

My mans would not be much help at first because he’s freaking out too. He wouldn’t want to see you in any kind of distress, especially if he’s not sure where it came from or what’s causing it. I think if it happened more than once and you talked about it and expressed what you needed, he would be more than willing to do whatever you needed from him. My sense is that his first reaction (after the initial freak out) would just be to hold you really tightly and whisper reassurances to you until you were feeling better.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Given the society that Gwayne lives in, his expectations have kind of been set for him in the sense that his future is pretty much expected to involve marriage and children. And honestly, I get the sense that this isn’t something he’s necessarily opposed to. Especially since he found you and realizes he gets to marry someone he actually loves, he’d be pretty thrilled about the whole prospect. It just doesn’t seem like life on miliary campaign is something he’s super jazzed about, so his ideal future would likely be just settling down with you in Oldtown. 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I think it’s pretty mixed, especially depending on the context. Again, given the societal expectations placed on him, I do think he might tend to be a little more dominant (especially if he thinks/knows that he’s right about something) but I also don’t think he would ever force you to do something you didn’t want to. He’d also back off on just about any subject if he noticed you were getting upset about it. I also think it really depends on your temperament, since I think he could really go either way depending on what energy you brought to the relationship.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

It would be really hard for him to stay mad at you (and vice versa). Unless it was something truly awful, I just don’t think he could stay upset with you for very long. As we’ve already established, he’s a pretty rational person who seems to value clear communication, so I think “fights” with him would be more like difficult discussions about hard issues rather than an actual fight. This is really nice because then you both get to speak your mind and actually come out with a better understanding of the other person and a stronger relationship because of it.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

I do tend to think that he’s a pretty grateful person, but I think he’s better at showing it than saying it sometimes. Not that he can’t verbalize his gratitude – he totally can – I just think that gestures come more naturally to him (like winning a tourney in your honor, buying you something extravagant, taking you on a nice trip, etc.)

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yes and no. If there was something he knew that would put you in danger if you knew it, he would not tell you. He would never forgive himself if something happened as a result. Pretty much anything else though, he’ll tell you. He won’t always offer everything, but I think he would have a hard time lying to you or keeping things from you if you asked about them. Depending on what it was, he might tell you a sanitized version of the story because he doesn’t want you to worry, but he’d be as honest as he felt he could be in the moment.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?

I think in any good relationship (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) people change each other for the better. Gwayne is no exception to this, and I think it’s likely that he picks up habits from you (just as you do from him). I can definitely see that if he had you as a confidante to rant about Criston or just to express his worries and doubts about politics, his family, etc. that he might be a little less overtly antagonistic and instead might just smile and nod a little more but internally be like “wait til my s/o hears about this fucking bullshit.” He’d definitely still give Critston attitude tho

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yes and no. Gwayne is a fairly confident person, and I think he feels pretty comfortable with himself and with his relationship with you for the most part. However, I don’t think he’s immune to jealously, especially if it were to seem like another person was paying you a bit too much attention. In that scenario, I’m sure he’d have some quip at that person’s expense and whisk you away or be very obvious about using your title as his spouse. The one thing that might make him feel truly insecure is if it seemed like you were becoming interested in someone else. But let’s be real, if you get to marry Ser Gwayne Hightower, that’s not fucking happening 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Oh, he’s definitely a good kisser. I don’t think he was one to have a lot of trysts prior to meeting you (despite his bravado, I think he really values an emotional or intellectual connection to the person he’s with, meaning I don’t think many of the flings he might have had made it all the way to the hook-up stage). But he’s a handsome man who likely had a lot of admirers, and I do think he got a bit of practice with kissing in his youth. He’s absolutely very attentive to what you like, so I think he’s only gotten to be an even better kisser over the course of your relationship. In terms of your first kiss with him, these lyrics from “All My Love” by Noah Kahan are very applicable here: “I leaned in for a kiss thirty feet from where your parents slept / and I looked so confident, babe / I swear, I was scared to death.” Especially early on, I think he really wanted to project this confident and suave vibe that he totally knew what he was doing, but as soon as he realized he was in love with you, he was actually a nervous wreck and desperately did not want to mess it up. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

re: Gwayne’s penchant for gestures, I have a feeling he had a whole well-written speech planned out (he based it on the dramatic love confessions he read in old ballads). However, despite all his preparation, I think the confession actually ended up just slipping out one time when you were together and he couldn’t keep it in any longer. He probably stumbled over his words and was very embarrassed about it and his face turned bright pink, but it was so adorable and endearing that you actually preferred it to whatever speech he might have had planned.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the wedding be like?

As I mentioned above, I think that marriage is pretty much a given for Gwayne considering the realities of the culture in which he lives. He also probably didn’t propose in the traditional sense, since the marriage was likely arranged, but I can absolutely envision him proposing to you privately after the betrothal has been officially announced and after he’s spent enough time with you to realize that he is genuinely in love with you. It would be sort of a love confession/proposal where he basically says “I know you were chosen by others to be my spouse, but I also personally choose you because I love you.” The wedding would be fairly large and befitting of his rank and station, and it’s likely that neither of you would have much choice in how it was conducted. Gwayne definitely likes the idea of a large and fairly public wedding because it’s a way for him to show his pride for both his house and his betrothed.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Very sweet things! Mostly “my dear,” “my love,” and “dearheart,” with a sprinkle of “my darling” mixed in on occasion.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

He gets very love-struck, especially when he’s with you. Spending time with you is like spending time in another world for him, and I do think he becomes a little more uninhibited when he’s around you. If people watch the two of you together, his lovesickness is pretty obvious to anyone who knows him. Even if they speak to just him, they might notice slight changes, like the fact that he talks about you a lot and always finds a way to bring you into the conversation. He’s careful though, and would never reveal the depths of his affection for you to someone who might you it against him or hurt you to get back at him. In terms of expressing feelings, as I mentioned above, I get the sense that he’s one for gestures that demonstrate his feelings. He gets nervous and stumbles over his words more than usual when he tries to verbalize things to you, and that’s an unusual and uncomfortable experience for him at first. The longer you’re together though, the better he gets at it.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag about their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Because your betrothal and marriage are pretty much public knowledge, Gwayne definitely feels comfortable being upfront about the relationship. And oh he totally brags. He’s very proud to call you his spouse and is not afraid to make sure everyone knows about it. Based on societal and cultural expectations, I don’t think there would be a lot of open PDA (like hugs, kisses on the lips, etc.). But hand kisses?????????? All the fucking time babeyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! So many kisses on the knuckles wherever and whenever – it’s his favorite little gesture of affection

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Mans is a killer shit talker. We know this. He can and will throw shade with the best of them. He wants to know all the drama in your friend circle and will happily judge everyone with you for hours. That one “friend” of yours who turned out to be wildly toxic and conniving? Well he never liked them anyway and he’s got a bulletpointed list of reasons why. You start a conversation with “can I be mean for a moment?” or “you know I love this person, but…” and he is SAT. He’s always on your side and ready to talk absolute shit about anyone who caused you even a minor inconvenience. 

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

At the end of the day, he’s something of a hopeless romantic and would do whatever he could to make you happy. There are a lot of times when the cultural and societal realities of the world he lives in prevent him from doing everything he might want, but if it came down to it, he would do almost anything for you. A lot of his romantic gestures are a little cliché, but in the best, most endearing way possible. As he gets to know you though, and as your relationship matures, he’ll probably get a little more creative and do things that are more specific to the two of you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Believes in you and supports you 100000% no question. Again though, I think this impulse can be a bit hampered by the social structures in which he lives. He’ll do whatever he can to help you achieve your goals, but there are limits based on birth, status, etc. that you are both cognizant of and which might influence what those goals look like and how far either of you would go to achieve them.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

We’re talking about Ser “I’d rather stay at a comfy inn than camp out” Gwayne Hightower here – I think he appreciates a level of routine and comfort. There’s so much in his world that is chaotic and out of his control that I think he would really relish having that consistency and stability in his relationship. Not that he would never try anything new – especially if you asked him to – I just think his natural inclination would be to have a comforting routine that works for both of you.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Considering he picked up on Alicent and Criston’s weird vibes in like 5 seconds, I’d say he’s pretty good at reading people. He definitely makes an effort to get to know you, and can confidently say that he knows you very well at this point. Especially since you’re someone he cares about and spends a lot of time with, he’s quite good at reading your moods and guessing how you’re feeling.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Very important. Again though, there are cultural expectations placed on both of you that may necessitate you and Gwayne placing your relationship further down your list of priorities than you normally would choose to. If it were completely up to him though, his relationship with you would be right up there at the top with his loyalty to his house and his family.

W ild Card - A random fluff headcanon

I talked about this much more extensively in this fic, but the necklace you gave him? He. Does. Not. Take. It. Off. EVER. It’s his little piece of you that he gets to carry everywhere, and he could never ever bear to part with it.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

In private, abso-fucking-lutely! As I mentioned in the PDA section, he’s more retrained in public, but still likes to demonstrate his affection for you via hand kisses. In private though, he loves to cuddle. And honestly, he doesn’t really care where or in what position – curled up in bed, sprawled on a couch, his head in your lap, you tucked against his chest – he just likes to be touching you and knowing that you’re right there next to him, that you’re safe, and that you love him.

Y earning - How do they cope when they’re missing their partner?

It’s a reality he has to face more than he would like, given the exterior expectations placed on him. If he had his way, he would live quietly with you at his family’s property near Oldtown forever. When he has to leave though, he always asks for your favor to take with him, regardless of how long you’ve been together or how many times you’ve bestowed it. As mentioned above, he also always wears the necklace you gave him. Definitely a top tier professional yearner though – he misses you and thinks of you the whole time he’s gone.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

This answer will be pretty similar to the answer for “V” – yes he is, but he also has to be cognizant of outside pressures that might cause him to act in ways that don’t always align with his personal inclinations. He would both die and kill for you though, not that you’re asking him to do either. In fact, you’re usually telling him not to do either of those things.

[jyoongim]

Okay before I put in my request lemme just get this off my chest. I love anything you do with Al (my man my man my man)!!! Like you eat every single time and if anyone says others wise they’re hating idc. Don’t ever don’t your craft I’m so serious! Much love🫶🏾

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Now for my request could you do something with Alastor adjusting to his gf who’s from more modern times? I’d like to see that scary scrawny old man with a thick young lit bich. Both of them getting used to each others likes, habits, interests (he reads the paper while she scrolls on her phone, he hums old songs from his time when he’s getting ready for the day while she has or rnb playing on a speaker while she does her makeup, etc). Idk I like seeing opposites come together☺️

my man my man my man my man is right baby! Awwwwww thank you so much. Words cannot describe how this made me feel (giggling and blushing reading this) I LOVE YOU ❤️💕😘

Alastor didn’t know what attracted him to you. The two of you were complete opposites. From completely different eras.

Your attitude, style, language, hobbies all of it was so different from his time.

But he adored you nonetheless.

You used to think he was so old-fashioned. Not liking modern tech, reading the paper, cooking home cooked meals instead of takeout. Often confused when he spoke in riddles than actually being direct.

But the two of you made a cute pair.

For instance:

You were sitting at your vanity, makeup sprawled everywhere as your hiphop playlist played. You were recording a video or ‘going live’ as you put it. Alastor found himself liking the music you played as he got ready.

”who’s the old man?” He heard you say, a laugh bubbling from you as you broke out in giggles. He turned his head to see you give a sly smile in his direction before turning back to your camera.

”oh that fossil?” you chirped, giggling at the comments flooding your feed.

Another comment must have caught your attention because you snorted.

Alastor never understood your need to be on social media. To entertain others that weren’t him, but he let you be.

He was curious. What had you giggling so much?

You smiled as he appeared behind you, large lanky frame entering the camera frame. He wasn’t glitching.

”Dearest what’s got you so ticketed?”he asked, peering over your shoulder to look at the little words appear on your screen.

’why is an old man in the room with you?’

’HE BAGGED A BADDIE LIKE YOU? NO WAY!’

’definitely a sugar daddy’

’why you with that old man?’

He tilted his head, where they referring to him? His lip curled as he read the comments, looking at you for some context.

You giggled,wrapping an arm around his neck to rub his cheek against yours lovingly.

”yes yes this is MY man. Alastor tell everyone ‘hello’ ” he growled instead,giving your glossy lips a peck before walking back to finish getting ready.

You giggled, continuing to put your makeup on as you sang along to your music, eyes reading the comments on Alastor.

”I put this WAP on him y’all hahaha but no You know i looooove the way he treats me. Absolute princess treatment” you laughed. Alastor adjusted his bow tie on final time before turning his attention back to you

You had finished your makeup, standing up you showed your outfit of the day and made silly faces.

You leaned over your chair to read a comment

”He must be dicking you down real goodt” you read out loud and before you could respond your phone glitched out, ending your live.

You pouted, turning to Alastor “Al!”

He wrapped his lanky arms around your plush form, “such lewd comments” he said admiring your makeup.

Sometimes you catch yourself humming the songs he played as he cooked. You were NOT a cooker, so watching Alastor helped you figure out what went with what for when you actually attempted to cook.

”baby what’s that?” You asked as he pulled out multiple seasonings. He explained each seasoning, what the flavor did in different recipes and how to properly blend them so they weren’t so hard but a subtle taste. 

You weren’t too keen on his cannibalistic ways, but you loved to watch his process.

Angel and Husk often made snide comments about how you must be rubbing off on the old demon. 

“He did not use that slang right toots, what are you teaching him?”

You would shrug it off, thinking it was cute Alastor was picking up on your modern language.

Most days when the hotel wasn’t on fire, you and Alastor sat in bliss; him reading the newspaper as you asked him his opinion on random posts you saw as you scrolled on your phone.

Alastor loved to take you to lounges, not disgusting clubs you were so privy to. He thought you need to be exposed to ‘real music and dancing’. He would drag you to the dancefloor, pulling you in for a waltz or whatever old timey dance from his time.

While he didn’t mind the lustful sensation of your body rolling against his, he loved watching you trying to learn steps to old dances.

The way you flushed with embarrassment as you stepped on his toes as you tried to follow always made him laugh.

Alastor was not a fan of your attitude. You were sassy and always spoke your mind, not caring that he often spoke empty threats at you. You never cowered at him and always had to get the last word in. It really ticked him off, but it also made his chest swirl with lust when you never backed down from him.

Your arguments often led to the two of you fucking it out.

Him degrading you as you hiss insults at him, but purring as he pounded your pussy into the mattress.

The two of you were like puzzle pieces. You fit together perfectly, even if the picture looked odd.

The two of you wouldn’t have it any other way

[bleue-flora]

tbh to me c!sapnap is on the same level of betraying c!dream as c!sam. It may seem far-fetched considering what c!sam did and considering we don't have much real lore content with c!sapnap or c!dreamnap, but when you look at what we DO have, it's kind of a picture

like, he's not just some stupid or short-sighted character, as it might seem at first glance - we have a ton of evidence that he understands perfectly well that prison makes c!dream physically and mentally ill, but he agrees with it. In the dialogue with c!michael he literally says "dream fucked up, prison fucked him up in another sense, but it doesn't matter, cause dream has to get better and become *my* dream again, let him stay in prison and improve, even if it breaks him idc", like wtf is this? funny, but at the same time, c!sapnap doesn't visit dream more than once, how will he know that c!dream is making progress? In c!sapnap's head, prison is supposed to be a rehabilitation for c!dream, only no one checks his progress in stopping being a "fucked up", he either sits there completely alone or people go there to hurt him and c!sapnap understands and acknowledged it, but he doesn't give a shit. I'm sorry, but this gives off sam's "I thought I broke his will to do something like that". He obviously doesn't care about c!dream and just wants his good old *convenient* friend, and he doesn't care about the consequences.

But he's not just passively harming c!dream, he's doing it actively. If the threat could still be interpreted as an emotional outburst, something he could say and regret, then his other actions clearly say the opposite. Like, the dude literally stalked and harassed c!dream for months after he found out where he lived??

The revival book was more important to him than torture. Even in the beginning, he didn't care about c!dream's reputation, when c!wilbur and c!tommy dragged it into the dirt for no reason, and he repeatedly went against c!dream or supported things that directly harmed c!dream. For me, one of the most telling scenes is c!sapnap and c!george's meeting with mexican dream's ghost, where c!sapnap, without any reason, pins the explosion of El Rapids on c!dream, and then, when he finds out that actually c!quackity was the one who did it, c!sapnap immediately says that they urgently need to go and find out why he did it, to check if he's okay and all that. This is literally the attitude you'd expect from c!tommy, to attribute every bad event to c!dream, but no, this is his so-called best friend! And of course, he only wants to know the reasons for an action when someone else does a bad action, but not c!dream - well, of course, cause it's clear that c!dream reasons are "being evil" or smth.

So, I've been in my c!sapnap hate arc for over two years now and you all should join me lmao

I didn't think I'd write SO much, but emotions took over after reading the new chapter of your fic and some of your posts, sorry abt that :"^

[context a & b]

Honestly, in my opinion his betrayal is almost worse than Sam’s, which is saying something since he literally enabled and facilitated daily torture. But like Sam wasn’t Dream’s self proclaimed brother, and at least Sam’s delusion kinda makes sense. Sapnap is just like - the chicken tastes rubbery and overcooked, so I put it in the oven and then it tasted burnt, so I put it back in the oven to help the taste and at some point I’ll take it out of the oven and then it’ll taste good again. No idea how long that’ll take, and no don’t be ridiculous I’m not gonna check on it. I swear though if anyone touches my chicken before it tastes good again like so much as removes it from the oven or seasons it I’m gonna throw it in the trash… vs Sam who’s like - the chicken tastes rubbery but I spent money on it so I’m gonna put it in the oven and turn it to charcoal so at least then it won’t be a complete waste…

ya know? Like at least Sam was corrupted by power, financial benefit, manipulated a bit, and had the blood of a “child” on his hands. Sapnap doesn’t even have that, he has a life long best friend who he heard made a speech about not caring about anything and then later a speech about wanting to control everyone, a fish in a item frame and a letter saying “thanks for visiting”…

Well I don’t know about the “even if it breaks him” I don’t think he is thinking that directing about Dream’s suffering if that makes sense, but Sapnap is delusional no doubt. I also don’t know if he even cares that much about the book in general, he just doesn’t seem to given a damn about the torture. He seems to really just be about the fear of what Dream might do and how he needs to be stopped before that.

And you do have a point, in the beginning even as his “brother” he on many occasions went against him, down to the very first disc war where they killed him multiple times. I mean if Sapnap weren’t American, he’d have probably been right alongside clingy duo in L’manberg and stuff… oh I had no idea about the El Rapids thing but am also not surprised…

What do you even mean, I am literally an engineer of this Sapnap hate train 🚂 choo choo! I be shoveling coal to keep this engine running ya know. like literally the more lore I watch the more he actually just kills me.

but anyways, I mean you read the chapter (and presumably the one before) so you know my thoughts on Sapnap lol. ;D

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with someone over ships?

🧀⛵ so i can find this later

Yes, this is ship discourse AITA #294729472 you can scroll away, english isn't my first language, my apologies.

So I (16M (But 13-14 at the time)) am in a very niche fandom. As in, we didn't have any new content for the past 5 years and media is old af (2013), very few fans, most of us know each other already.

I used to have these mutuals Cheese (Not their real name) (around my age i think?? I can't remember) and Breadstick (Not his real name) (18M).

We all had our little ships, ok? I like the little (dumbass golden retriever boy) x (badass traumatized man) ship, Cheese liked the little (badass traumatized man) x (literally the same thing but evil and abusive) and Breadstick liked both ships.

I met Breadstick before meeting Cheese so we were already friends before i met Cheese. I thought "Cool, another person likes this little niche thing i'm hyperfixated on!" So we became mutuals.

I didn't anticipate that we would argue about ships, but oh well. So, i'm a very chill person regarding ships, literally any, although i do have NOTPs, i'm not really toxic about my hatred, i just go "Ah, not my thing" and scroll away not without blocking the person, but really nothing personal and no hard feelings, i can perfectly be friends with someone who loves my notp.

In fact, that was the case with Cheese. They shipped my NOTP, like A LOT. But I was okay with it, i mean these are just characters and all we're doing is being silly. I didn't take this THAT seriously. However, when I seemed to talk about my ship, Cheese seemed uncomfortable in some way.

When I was talking about my fankid (call me cringe idc) of my OTP, Cheese got very confused and asked who was i talking about. Breadstick came in and introduced my fankid to them, since he knew about it before. Cheese just started being rude, literally saying swear words (Not against them but, the context didn't really call for it? No one was being mean or mad), saying, and i quote as best as i can, "I don't know what the fuck made you think i knew who the hell [Fankid] was".

I got very mad about it, so i privately dm'ed Breadstick about Cheese's attitude. We began trash talking about them, which, i admit was a very trashy thing to do and definitely asshole material™.

Reason why may i be the asshole: over time, Breadstick just started complaining a lot about Cheese, and I could honestly agree, it came to the point of us disliking them to some degree but not telling them and not breaking the mutual, that could be considered two faced behavior.

This was partly influenced because of another incident. So Cheese and Breadstick where rambling about an OT3 (3 person ship) they had in common, basically sharing ideas and stuff. I thought it would be fun and went "Hey, I have an OT3 too, maybe i should post about it too". So I went and posted about it, but Cheese felt very uncomfortable with that, since basically my OT3 was exactly like Cheese's OT3 but one character is different, "basically".

They said "You have your thing, let US have ours". Felt bad and honestly, maybe i shouldn't have intruded their ot3 rambling. I didn't expect such negative reaction out of them.

In other occasions they complained about me posting a little too much about my ship, even though they did the same thing with theirs. And they also had a mutual that said "If you ship [this character] you suck and i fucking hate you. [character] is too abusive to be shipped with anyone and you can't just make an AU, that would just change him as a character completely" which, dear god, that language wasn't needed, right?. And despite that crazy person saying that, Cheese agreed with their take, despite literally shipping the character in question with another one. And abusively too, which like you do you, lord knows i do that too, but agreeing with a take like that while doing exactly what it is complaining about is weird. On the other side, that person wasn't my mutual, so it's unrealistic of me to expect Cheese to control their mutuals over me, Cheese can mutual whoever they want, but i can still be weirded out right?

That is without including them telling other people to kill themselves over shipping, so it was clear that Cheese took this shipping thing seriously while me and Breadstick to some degree didn't. Honestly another reason why i might be an asshole, clearly they felt their otp was personal and me not liking it + ignoring it caused a bad environment, mala mía, but what else could i have done?

So, clearly Cheese is kind of an asshole to some degree. But i think what makes ME an asshole too is when I trash talked behind their back and cut them off way later than i should've. And also, i guess i shoved my ship down their throat taking by how mad they were about it? I didn't do it intentionally though and i could definitely say they did the same thing too when 80% of the fandom and character tags was them posting about their ship. Again, small niche fandom for old unpopular media, we are keeping it alive ourselves.

What are these acronyms?

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

I've decided to do this since it's been laying in my photos for a bit. I will give context!

Favs: I am absolutely in love with Beelzebub I have no idea why he attracted me so much but I have been non-stop horny and lovingly obsessed with him. This is actually recent I am Bi so I was saddened at first to realize there were no women dateables but once thirteen came out whew😮‍💨 I was completely smitten. She is so beautiful and really my type idrc if she was mean to me at first I need her.

Love: I love love LOVE 🪙Mammon🪙 he's so fucking cute and I love my men a little dumb so he was perfect :) I am quite literally a dia and beel account so of course I love diavolo heavily. He's a himbo (my type if you couldn't tell) and I adored him when he came on screen. He used to be high up there but with some logical reasoning I realize I'd be a better match for beel and thirteen. I have a aggressive relationship with Lucifer I can see myself dating him but we would fight often and I like bullying him/ teasing him a lot. He's a little much sometimes so thats why he's a love only. Belphie at first was a only like character but believe it or not after replaying the game again I realized he is pretty damn hot and attractive to me. Even when he killed me I was still into him (yes I have issues).

Like: okay so this is complex these are characters I can only see myself dating like a little bit or they are just friends in a higher degree. Levi is adorable but I do admit I don't like when he speaks sometimes lmao. His vocabulary kinda irritates me at times so I don't see myself choosing him often as a dating character. Satan I am indifferent on I will admit he is slowly growing on me but I personally don't like blondes much so it dropped with that and his aggression is very similar to mine so I can only imagine how horrible fights will go with him. But he still is attractive to me date wise. Now onto luke and asmos I find them both as friends no sense of dating at all between these two characters for me. Asmos is just completely not my type and Luke is well a child so yeah immediately no.

Neutral: these characters I don't know/ trust enough to date but the thought is nice but they are low on the list. These characters are also heavily liked by my sister so I backed off for that too. Barb I just can't see myself with and my sister is heavily down bad for so eh. Simeon is an angel and believe it or not I actually prefer demons over angels so I was put off by that fact and he is just idk not doing it for me... I do enjoy drawing him though:). Solomon I just do not trust whatsoever I do think I'd be the classic friends with benefits with him but dating I don't think so I gotta trust a mf I wanna be with the rest of my life sooo. He is also another character my sister is heavily down bad for. Meso is odd for me. He is attractive but to a certain degree he is idk too immature? I can't pin point it... Still being friends is perfect:D

Dislike/neutral: okay please do NOT attack me but I just don't like nor trust Raphael he is just so UGH. He also scolded beel and it irritated me heavily. Yes I care about that stuff STFU if it bothers you idc. I will tolerate him but NO.

[batsplat]

just so you know bc I don’t think enough people tell you this but every time I check your blog (a bit compulsively at this point? your compilations and opinions are very enlightening on the general psychology of those crazy motherfuckers and also the uhhhhhhhh other part) and see that you answered another ask I honestly break into the hugest grin and settle down at the next given opportunity to read the newest batssay (batsplat essay) like it’s an academic paper (it is to us sports scholars, I believe)… please never feel the need to cut short your thoughts on any subject. the longer the better! connect all the dots, bat! we are listening!!

thank youuuuu this is so sweet, I know this ask is a little older but trust whenever I get something kind in my inbox I very much read and appreciate it and it very much makes my day. and I love the term batssay. a lot

so I thought it'd be fun to do a follow up post to the casey/jorge/valentino one where I just dumped a bunch of photos with a wee bit of context... for the culture, y'know. and I'm doing this with just casey/valentino, mostly for 2007-09 but with one 2005 photo chucked in as. build-up. for flavour

we know from the #archives that the two of them did have like. a reasonably warm dynamic pre-casey's motogp debut. they'd talked... also at least one race where casey shows up to valentino's podium and chats to vale's crew chief and fellow aussie jb... I think about it often. what did it all mean

casey's first win!!! qatar 2007, very first race with ducati. he'd gotten very close to a win before - in his third ever premier class race at turkey, lost at the final chicane. casey's goals going into that first season with ducat had just been winning a few races... he notes that valentino congratulates him warmly, but reckons it's just because valentino didn't take him seriously as a threat, which. I don't think that quite stacks up with supplementary evidence from the time, but we'll allow it

one of my fave photos for a reason, idc it's sweet. I was trying to figure out when this photo was from through like, normal means of reverse image search, but then instead I had a horrifying moment of 'oh yeah I'm pretty sure I remember that specific presser backdrop is at mugello that year' and. I was right. which. god. anyway yeah mugello 2007 pre-event presser. by this point casey was 21 points clear in the championship standings

more mugello 2007!!! look at casey constantly sipping from his lil cup. this will have been after qualifying, where casey snagged pole. I'd forgotten valentino actually makes front row in qualifying because he makes a typically horrendous start. I'd also forgotten that this race is like. proper good. one of the best that year. slows down eventually but the first ten or so laps are some of the most exciting of the entire alien era

catalunya 2007, which unfortunately I also dated solely through the presser backdrop. idk I just like the vibes of this photo. anyway!! this race is ofc the one where casey won an all timer late race duel against valentino (+ dani). it is after this race that valentino said casey was, and I quote "riding like a god". a seminal moment

the championship is already extremely over by the time they get to estoril, but casey still needs to formally wrap it up: this is his first match point race. depicted here is valentino getting one of his few Ws that season. an account of this event: “valentino was playing table football in the yamaha hospitality and somebody spotted casey outside. so they invited him for a challenge. it was all good fun”

motegi 2007. valentino had managed to put off the inevitable the race before and temporarily stopped casey from sealing the title, taking his last win of the season (cool duel with dani in that one). but motegi... well honestly it's just a bit of a flop all round, nobody's bike is working the way they want it to, casey seals the title with his worst result all season of a sixth place (the horror) and in his autobiography he was kinda like 'well I was very happy but also. meh race' (I paraphrase). but really, who cares, he had his title

bit of a time skip!! after both of them have put their sketch early 2008's behind them, the pair of them had a proper fun fight at catalunya for p2. a continuation of the battle the year before with valentino once again coming from lower down the field, this time he gets the better of casey. still, things are finally looking up at ducati... and the post-catalunya test might be enough to put casey right back in title contention. the above photo is from donington, where casey confirms the progress ducati made by winning his first race of the season after the opener in qatar

still donington, both of them watching each other etc etc. valentino is in a much better place than the year before, given both casey's rough start to the season and how they're both now on the same tyres. but it's not a good sign if casey's hitting his stride... at assen, valentino makes his one mistake of the year and crashes on the first lap, remounting to finish eleventh (he still beats casey's teammate melandri). this puts dani in the championship lead - and with casey's second win in a row, he is now very much closing in

look at them chatting here!! cute imo. this is casey's third win in a row, at the rainy sachsenring. dani crashes out from a few miles in the lead - while casey had stayed sensible and brings it home for a pretty straightforward victory. valentino needed to fight his way through from further down the field and in the end he loses too much time to put any serious pressure on casey, but it's still damage limitation and he retakes the championship lead from dani (who will miss the next race due to an injury sustained in the crash). and yet, momentum really is firmly on casey's side now... and the rest of the calendar does looks like pretty casey-friendly territory. next up, they're headed to a race track where casey had won very comfortably the year before. would he seal his fourth consecutive win at laguna?

now with my sincere apologies to casey stoner, every photo that came out of laguna 2008 is objectively pretty funny. I have limited myself to a mere two podium photos, but lbr there's a full collection. casey had already rejected valentino's handshake in parc fermé - which some might have taken as a social cue to give him some space. whereas valentino, local dickhead, just will not stop yapping at casey on the podium. this is quite possibly as genuinely delighted as he gets after a race, and it's simply a beautiful contrast with casey who is not quite rude enough to actually tell valentino to shut the fuck up - but may be fantasising about pushing valentino off the podium. this, to me. is art

gather around body language experts, we need to have a conversation. this is at the pre-event presser of the race immediately after laguna, aka brno. by this point, casey's less than flattering remarks about valentino's riding at laguna had already been distributed near and far... everyone's been talking about them, people have Opinions. the captions for these photos are all something along the lines of 'stoner extends olive branch to rossi to apologise for his post-race comments after losing laguna'. now, I don't know if he literally is apologising in these actual photos - though of course he did publicly walk back his comments, saying all riders can react badly to losses and that he'd overreacted when he'd said he'd lost respect for valentino. he has since walked back his walking back, doubling down on his criticisms of valentino's comportment at laguna

still, for all the talk that the feud properly started after laguna, it's kind of fun to have the presser immediately after it showing... well, it does look like casey is actively engaging valentino in conversation, right? whether he's apologising or not - this isn't just valentino yapping at him, if anything it's the reverse. laguna had been right before the summer break, so casey had been given a month to cool off... and also be viciously criticised by the press. brutal, isn't it? it's not just the loss that sucks, it's also being excoriated by the press and fans for having the audacity to get mad over it. is all of this just him being forced into pretending to play nice to get the press to leave him alone? were there any genuine regrets over his laguna comments? what ARE the vibes between them like at this time? what story do these photos tell us

casey went on to crash out of this race from the lead, the first time he had done so in the premier class and his first dnf with ducati after their one and a half seasons together. when he crashed, he'd had a fairly comfortable lead over valentino - though valentino was steadily closing in, and the commentators were already rubbing their hands in anticipation of another laguna

the next race is at misano - and casey is struggling with an old hand injury, see the bandages in the photo. the previous year had been the first time valentino had gotten the chance to race at this circuit, so close to his home... but he'd suffered a mechanical dnf, not his first or last in a frustrating season. this year, everything is different - and casey once again crashes out of the lead as valentino takes victory in front of his worshipful home fans

another trip to america, this time for indy: their first time racing at the track. after the double whammy of brno and misano, casey's title charge is essentially over... but you never know, right? indy kinda gives off the vibe of being a good casey track

in the end, the race is extremely wet and very, very windy and is eventually red-flagged. because of how many laps they still have to go, it is initially unclear whether they would restart... at which point first valentino (who was leading), then casey (in fourth) go to dorna ceo ezpeleta to tell him they have less than zero interest in going out in that weather again. a beautiful moment of solidarity - long live the power of unionising, capable of overcoming even the bitterest of feuds. blast the internationale over the footage, I've seen enough. the race is called off and valentino wins his fourth consecutive race

by the time they get to phillip island, valentino has already won the title, courtesy of his fifth consecutive win at motegi - the same circuit casey had won the title at the year before and the home race of valentino's old enemies at honda. a couple of nice photos of jorge congratulating his teammate and casey spraying vale with champagne here. casey, known phillip island goat, would of course finally end valentino's win streak at that circuit, which is where the photos are from. idk they're fun to me, like this is still not that long after laguna. I'm aware being able to chat normally with your coworkers and share a smile with them isn't normally that high a bar, but canonically valentino has been known to completely blank some of his rivals. it's not like casey is particularly cold towards valentino either, eh

case in point. this is from sepang 2008. #TheEstablishment does not want you to know casey and valentino canonically still regularly yapped in pressers post laguna. they won't silence me. sepang was valentino's last win of this season, after a good scrap with dani - and the season is rounded off with a casey victory at valencia

jerez 2009, where valentino gets past casey with a block pass at the final corner on his way to victory. unlike in 2005, he actually manages to not barrel into his rival. this is just a fantastic photo... I don't even have much to say about it. a+ vibes

a lot of the photos from this season were already included in the jorge/valentino/casey post, which reflects how casey wasn't consistently a factor in the same way the other two were. this one's from assen, the race right after catalunya when all three of them were tied on 106 points. very good side eye here, excellent job casey. unfortunately, casey is now in mystery illness territory - and he can't really compete with the two frontrunners in this stretch of the season

this is the first race after casey's return to competition - valentino goes up to casey after qualifying at estoril to congratulate him for his front row grid position. casey would win an early race scrap with valentino in the race itself, eventually finishing second behind jorge and swiftly silencing all the people who had declared him mentally weak and done for in his absence. a race that brought back suspense to that year's championship

phillip island 2009, another important moment in the canon where I've limited myself to just the one photo. casey wins just his second race back - and he also hugs vale pretty warmly in parc fermé. jorge was kind enough to crash in the opening lap, meaning valentino can very much be pleased with a second place here

and at sepang, valentino seals the title, while casey wins another race. casey ended up crashing in the warm-up lap of valencia, apparently due to an issue with the tyre warming? just kinda... the general vibe of his 2009, really. valentino closes off the season with another podium at his least favourite track, while dani takes the win

anyway after that they spent three years getting into increasingly. dumb arguments. like. so dumb. by the end of 2012 you feel you're killing your brain cells by even engaging with this stuff. it's beyond undignified. there's zero competitive justification, but they just couldn't shut up about each other. that being said, they're still capable of doing a small talk with each other even during the dark years, so that's something. maybe one day they'll finally be able to get that dinner and talk about all the good times

[starzgaze]

hope you don't mind me ranting rq--

i constantly think about your yan!Hae-In and yan!Jinwoo ideas because they're so fun to mess around with.

bc what if the readers honest to god reaction to either of then confessing to then was "i don't feel the dame way.. you wanna see this cool bug i found?"

that OR the reader is a little freak of a poet and writes romance novels with concerningly detailed cannibalism scenes and is more interested in the shadow ants than either of them.

also i'm planning on writing a fic about the cannibal poet reader, but it's going to take a while because i'm shit at writing-

LMFAOO IDC IF U FLOOD MY INBOX ITS FINEEE more people to talk to anyway because im a bit of a pussy to talk straight up to my mutuals sigh

also thanks i actually have alot in my drafts its just most of them are unfinished and i have no idea if i should let them see the light of day or not... same with w.jc , chi, and sjw sick day fic LMFAOO uhhmm anyway!!

that's actually something i lovvee experienting with lowkey especially as someone who takes a big looong time to realize 'oh they liked me" and it's been fucking months since they confessed but anyqay I actually act like that most of the time it's pretty bad anywaaay this is funny as hell with yandere jinhae who's TRYING their best to make you swoon even if they're not the best with romance but you still don't... budge... bur hey you'll show them some cool colored bug you picked off the side walk! that's hopefully not a mutated monster that escaped a dungeon.

anyway more on the first idea this probably either ends really well or horribly depending on how both jinwoo and haein receives this ooooooorrr the circumstances really on how much they both value you but since im a freak for borderline this is insanity why are you writing this type of literature let's say that if you rejected then you have one swordswoman who accidentally fucks you up psychologically (I don't see haein someone who would do it willingly or deliberately gets enjoyment from it) but with jinwoo its a bit complicated to say because each person has a different take on how jinwoo perceives romance and how he processes feelings but since its my post im going with it's probably borderline fucked up if we consider the fact the more he levels up or grows the more apathetic or inhumane he becomes! im gonna abuse the hell out of this concept

but anywya with jinwoo u're probably gonna either get straight up kidnapped OR because you're lowkey desensitized and carefree that maybe kidnapping doesn't really have any affect on you then he might just sends weird eldritch horrors depictions of death and darkness when you're about to sleep so now you need a cute bug themes night light to sleep because no way you're letting some death incarnate screw up your sleeping schedule.

also those two as an attempt to maybe sway you might get into bugs or whatever little interests like jinwoo is having small consultations with beru or has him on standby everytime he spends time with you or haein overcoming her trauma (this takes place after jeju island) and learns and starts to love bugs just for you to reciprocate her feelings then these two quiz eachother on who knows more and what not it's literally amusing to see them debates over fuckinf caterpillars when you returned with take out because they insisted hanging out with you

anyway now on the latter I LOVE LOVE grotesque depictions of love especially like with murder OR cannibalism like how probably eating eachother is like a way of showing affection and how now your love will always be inside of them (literally) or something along the lines!! it's actually so cool how it's portrayed in media i need some suggestions actually anyway in the context of jinhae and mc being a poet uhmmm I'm not sure because i suck at making poems so im not the best on how to... make this work... i hate writing poems but I'll stick witj the theme of being a romance horror writer but not what you think of like colleen hoover or whomever the fuck wrote haunting adeline (god please i hope those books gets SMITED off the face of earth because this has stained dark romance to the point i dont even wanna acknowledge dark romance as a genre).

if you're a popular horror writer who specializes on creeping out your readers but still somehow delivers a good message or screwedd up message in between the lines of ripped boddies and intestines then jinhae has probably heard of you before like definitely.

like the themes of your books or poems to other people seems to be very disgusting or only written for the shock value but maybe to jinwoo or haein they have a whooole different meaning or one of your books/poems struck them really deep they got into a bit of a rabbit hole going through your collection as an author. i can definitely see both of them becoming fans and attending meet and greets.

oh my god a thought came to me and it's basically how would these two act in the internet if your name was beinf slandered like because your books or poems is not well perceived by all because you would occasionally write screwed up romance that you do not condone at all!! it's all for the sake of symbolism and experimentation with the material but anyway these two would have different reactions to this

for example haein seems to be the type to not be sooo like... like how do i explain this shes the type to have an anonymous account and goes to those forums to have actual discussions and tries to be civil as she can be when she tries to convert these haters why they should like you because i can't see her going as far to try to find this individual's address BUT but im just saying if ever that same hater was in the same dungeon raid as haein, there's no guarantee that haein will probably let them... die and say it was an accident.

anyway jinwoo is less interactive on the internet and is more of a lurker but he's probably the definitely the type to send ominous messages and then appear on their doorstep next morning or even minute if they're that unlucky LMFAO. another case of missing people otw!!

oh and i lowkey love the whooole idea of if you have a writer darling no matter how screwed or how fluffy their stories are the person or people who loves them will try to recreate this. yeaaah i can see this happening with jinwoo and haein and the tiny competition they have is who performed it better.

like for example if you written a poem about the elegant slashes of a sword on how it glides so easily through certain monsters, haein would try to replicate the feeling and explains to jinwoo that she obviously is better at portraying at this because she is a certified swordswoman or something along the lines and honestly jinwoo can't exactly argue against that because she's right but he won't admit it

then with paragraphs that depicts the most grueling experience of death and what not is something jinwoo is really familiar with and he's the type to copy it by doing it on random monsters he encounters in dungeons or even certain monarchs if they're that unlucky or jinwoo feels a biiit experimental LMFAO yeah okay what my brain is fried.

oh talking about darling being a horror romance writer, the moment jinwoo introduces his shadows or you find out about you become absolutely infatuated with them and the whoole idea like especially they're permanently serving death that's a pretty neat idea to you.

you start to write more and talk less to jinwoo and mooore to the shadows, it's pretty funny to see but you didn't notice the fact jinwoo is fuming in the background as he watches you get into in depth discussions with igris and bellion about their past lives and how you'll implement their experiences in a poem

yeha kay thats it my brain wugh dead bye uhm yeah talk to me more i love this sm thanks for food for thought

[transfemstarscream]

thank you for your father + daughter megatron and starscream analysis because most content is them being romantic (i dont hate m*gst*r but idc for it)... because whenever i see them interact (esp armada) its so so obvious thats an emotionally constipated or apathetic dad with a daughter who desperately wants to prove herself to him or his standards. can they please write this relationship for them again 💔

i'm happy my, quite frankly, messy analysis of them holds up for you! i don't talk about them too much anymore, but viewing them through the lens of a distant, destructive but forever longing father-daughter relationship (especially in the context of armada/energon, and other continuities with a similar age/experience gap) paints the most heart-wrenching picture of the two characters to me.

megatron becoming the father to his men he is always claimed to be yet failing to be that father to the one person who needs it most; starscream disavowing the pain and standards projected upon her yet ultimately becoming just like the man who forced them onto her. they destroy each other for neither of them can be want they want the other to be, nor what they need. but they will still impose themselves onto each other—the only ideal imposed onto starscream by megatron that she is able to understand.

or, basically:

[imqueerandadeer]

Okay it's time again for rants and personal stories no one fucking asked for. Todays topic: How fucking rampant and normalized ableism is, with comments from @pansgoobernonsense as usual.

Really long post ahead guys you've been warned.

The reason it has been featured in the last post and now this one is because it's also ND and Asian and I wanted to get other peoples experiences with ableism.

It also said that I can interview it for practice because journalism sounds cool to me and I might want to be a journalist.

Anyways obligatory disclaimer/reminder. I don't speak for all mentally disabled people because we are not a monolith!! For example I am great at masking my ADHD and Autism (I'll get into that with more context later) and it's somthing I've picked up subconsciously. Other people with my same conditions may not be good at masking.

Also this post will mostly center around mental disabilities, specifically ADHD and autism because thats what we have and know most about. Neither me nor my friend are physically disabled (to my knowledge) so I won't speak much on it because It's not my place.

Alright with that out of the way lets add some context.

Hi, if you don't know me or haven't seen my blog before (most of you probably have though in some shape or form) I'm Ollie or Cupid. I have ADHD, self diagnosed (and peer diagnosed) autism, and possible dyscalculia. Theres also a millon other things I'm suspicious about having but I won't get into those.

Lets start with this, imagine (or don't idc) that your back in *gasp* middle school. Terrifying. Now since this is tumblr I'm gonna assume most of you have autism and/or ADHD so y'all most likely know what it's like to be in middle school and be ND. But still I wanted to talk about my experiences with ableism in school.

Okay I've noticed that the difference of how I get treated because I mask and those that can't mask for whatever reason is wildly different. I have instructional support which is technically special ed and no one has ever called me "Sped" or the R-slur. Versus the the kids who visibly have support needs and their disabilities are present. They get called those things all the fucking time.

The hypocrisy of it all is what really gets me. Kids at my school will really stand there and call these other kids dehumanizing things while I stand there as a person with ADHD and autism having to akwardly laugh it off and pretend it doesn't effect me. Yes of course I tell them off but it doesn't work, because they have been taught that what they're saying is fine and people who have higher support needs are not human, which is wrong and ablesist.

Thats not even their fault really it's what they were taught. Although if they weren't taught it and they know It's wrong but still do it then it's their fault

It genuinely got so bad that me and my friends wrote a letter to the office telling them about the ablesist language at our school, I don't think the letters ever got sent but yeah it was that bad.

On another note I don't think my schools very wheelchair accessible at all, although I wouldn't know really because I don't use a wheelchair.

Now heres @pansgoobernonsense experiences woth ableism as a whole, while mine were mostly about school its are more personal

"My personal experiences with ableism are mostly from my parents, and since I have not one but two neurodevelopmental disorders I’ve experienced it a lot. The most notable of these experiences come from my parents reaction to my autism.

A notable example was the time I was crying because I didn’t want to go to a party (I had had a panic attack at another similar party at the same place with similar people) and my dad had said I didn’t need to go but my mom made me.

I tried to explain (through tears) that I didn’t want to go and my dad angrily called me “autistic”. I’ve also been told to just “act normal” in social situations (despite the textbook definition of autism being essentially “I can’t act normal in social situations”). My parents have also neglected to tell me about my diagnosis for basically my entire life.

I was diagnosed when I was 2-3 and only found out this year. The reason behind this decision was “if I knew I’d tell everyone and use it as a get out of jail free card”.

They seem to treat my diagnosis as a label rather than an actual disability. It makes sense, since historically mental disabilities haven’t been treated the same as physical disabilities, but it’s still an awful experience."

While my experiences with things like this haven't been as severe as Nicks experiences I do have some of my own.

One time I was talking to my mother and she said that they suspected I had ADHD but didn't get me tested until I was 12 because she didn't want me on meds that early, which yes is a semi fair point but still why would you keep your suspicions a secret until I startes to notice and suspect it myself. That seems so weird to me and it could have saved me a lot if trouble if she had just told me.

Anyways thats it, sorry if it's not cohesive or coherent it's 1:00 am for me, I need to sleep

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

So I keep seeing Deadpool and Wolverine stuff. I REALLY want to watch it but..

I've never watched ANY Deadpool nor Wolverine movies.

Brutha I need to watch them for context. Idc if I don't need to. I WANT to.

This is the kinda movie watcher I am ESPECIALLY with Marvel movies.

Only stuff I haven't really watched is F4 stuff, most X-men stuff, Deadpool, Venom, and 3 different shows (Winter Solider, Anything after first two episodes of Hawkeye, and SHEILD -> Winter Solider just kinda escaped me, Hawkeye I just kinda dropped, and never saw much point in watching SHEILD).

[Hella yaps below]

F4 stuff I only watched ONE movie - sucked to high hell. Told the rest did so I'm only going to probably watch the new one coming out

X-men stuff I just keep forgetting to watch, I've watched a few I'm mostly into the comics for them rather the movies tbh.

Deadpool I wasn't old enough for the longest time. I just kinda forgot about it after a while.

Venom is along the same as Deadpool.

I honestly have so much shit to watch Marvel goes into the depths of my brain since I already seen so much and read so much and my family talks about it so much I just don't register I have more I need to watch/want to watch - also not to mention the constant movies coming out - that I just lose track.

Bro speaking of things to watch I need to watch the other seasons if Sweet Tooth I've still only watched the first season haven't continued since the second came out (3rd came out too I believe) also Dragon Price got a new season RIGHT after I finished the last season since I needed to catch up (hate when that happens). I ALSO have to finish so many shows, start shows I want to watch badly, CONTINUE shows I've started (I started one based off a manga - it's live action and actually really good since it's set in a more "realistic" setting but not really since again manga but real world type setting no fantastical elements other than the cheesy flowery stuff - MC is so funny too).

Bro I'm yapping so much I haven't talked to y'all in forever I highkey miss y'all !!

[micamicster]

Hi! Do you have any romcom (movie) recs? I feel like i hypothetically like the genre, but have a lot of trouble finding ones i enjoy. So many romcoms feel so formulaic (in a dead way) and misogynistic and stale to me. I think they’re a lot easier to do well in the context of a series because there’s actually time to build. Recently i thought rye lane and fire island were fun. I like kdramas when i have the time for all the episodes because i appreciate the build. I need chemistry— people who both convincingly like each other and seem like actual human beings. I thought you might have some good ideas! Thanks <3

HELLO LARGE VOICED ANON <3

I hope you weren't waiting on my recs all day haha i have been. hm. hungover af <3 (i'm going to leave kdramas off this list for now but if you would like specific recs for kdrama romcoms send me another ask and i can try to do them justice!)

I think this is a genre with underrated range! So one thing that I find very interesting about the genre of romcoms is that I think there tends to be a split between romcoms whose goal is, like, to be a fun lighthearted movie with a central romance, vs romcoms whose goal is to Say Something About Love in the vehicle of a funny movie. Both of these categories are represented on this list but for giggles i will not be saying which i think are which <3

anyway recs under the cut <3 i will link my tags for these movies if you want to take a look but be warned for spoilers ofc

I think for your purposes my primary rec would be Lovesick (aka Scrotal Recall). It's a (short) tv show so it would likely give you the chance to get to know the characters and see a slower build. In contrast to the frustration you've had with some more "formulaic" romcoms the writing in this show is very deliberately in conversation with romcoms of the past. Also it's just one of my favorite romcoms ever made so I rec it to everyone. The premise is that a young man, Dylan, is diagnosed with chlamydia and instructed to tell his past partners. Being a hopeless romantic (emphasis on hopeless), he decides to try to turn this into an opportunity to revisit relationships that didn't work out, and try to figure out where he's been going wrong. Two simultaneous storylines play out in each episode, the flashbacks to the exes (and breakups) and the present, where Dylan's best friend is getting married.

Older romcoms: When Harry Met Sally (ive heard this is divisive? but idc its SO funny and so well made), Moonstruck (a romantic-comedy in the operatic sense. also cher <3), The Philadelphia Story (katharine hepburn the woman u r. tw for a classic 1940s gag about punching ur wife in the face), Bringing Up Baby (screwball comedy my beloved), Roman Holiday (audrey hepburn is lethally charming in this movie), Dirty Dancing (someday ill write something this good and then You Will Realize), Much Ado About Nothing (i tend to enjoy either the danielle brooks shakespeare in the park version or the classic tennant/tate combo)

Teen romcoms: 10 things I hate about you (young heath ledger and young julia stiles ur welcome), to all the boys i;ve loved before (lana condor is ADORABLE), The Half of It (my other favorite sort-of romcom of the decade)

More recent-ish: Speed (like its keanu and sandra what more do you want), Strictly Ballroom (i used to watch this literally weekly as a child and I WAS RIGHT TO), Miss Congeniality (sandra bullock what u did for us all <3), Fire Island (thank u 4 my LYFE), The sandra bullock/channing tatum movie that came out last year (i forget what its called but he's so funny in it), Mamma Mia AND Mamma Mia Here We Go Again (beautiful greek islands, abba, cher, what more can you ask for?)

Indian/bollywood: Jab We Met (after dramatically quitting his job, Local Man somehow ends up escorting a woman he meets on the train while she attempts to elope with her boyfriend. aka classic screwball comedy heroine and Guy She Dragged Along For The Ride), khabie khushi khabi gham (multiple generations of romance and family drama featuring Kajol, the Most Beautiful Woman In the World), Band Baaja Baaraat (two wedding planners fall in love--great choice if you want to watch idiots ambushed by their feelings)

Other tv recs: Selfie (john cho and karen gillian in a show canceled far too soon)

[madara-fate]

my pet peeve with sasusaku is that sakura’s feelings were off screened in part 2 and there was NO substantial reason for her to feel that way and retain such feelings for so long, even tho the story’s backbone is the concept of bonds stemming from people who understand each other due to sharing heavy hardships. i mean, it would’ve been great if she got to reflect etc but ultimately it might come off as dumb bc what would she be thinking anyway? “oh it started as a schoolgirl crush but idk why it changed but nvm now idc like that bc he’s a terrorist i love naruto” kishi said himself he avoided writing in a reason for her feelings bc it would look contrived and he also said she’d be a terrible woman for moving on from sasuke and misogyny aside, it’s bc he wrote himself into a corner with her initial characterization & arc that he stuck with for too long.

my pet peeve with sasusaku is that sakura’s feelings were off screened in part 2 and there was NO substantial reason for her to feel that way and retain such feelings for so long

Firstly, I fail to see how her feelings were off screened when they were only reiterated at regular intervals. Secondly, they spent a lot of time together, she got to know who Sasuke truly was as a person, saw how much he was struggling internally, and wanted to help ease his suffering. Feelings can often very easily arise from wanting to help one in need. Thirdly, why would she need a reason to retain her feelings? It's not like Sasuke's suffering ceased during Part 2; he was still in desperate need of help and I'm gonna come back to this point later on when you mention "misogyny", because I'm so tired of people throwing around that term where it doesn't belong.

even tho the story’s backbone is the concept of bonds stemming from people who understand each other due to sharing heavy hardships.

That's not the story's backbone. Do you really mean to tell me that you can't name any close bonds in the story that didn't initially derive from the two people in question sharing some empathy?

i mean, it would’ve been great if she got to reflect etc but ultimately it might come off as dumb bc what would she be thinking anyway? “oh it started as a schoolgirl crush but idk why it changed but nvm now idc like that bc he’s a terrorist i love naruto”

I've explained why her feelings changed above - Her schoolgirl crush was based on this idea of a perfect Sasuke that every other girl in the academy seemed to have. The cool and composed Sasuke who gets straight A's in both the physical and written exams. All of that changed once she began spending time with him and discovering that beneath that seemingly perfect exterior was a very troubled boy.

kishi said himself he avoided writing in a reason for her feelings bc it would look contrived and he also said she’d be a terrible woman for moving on from sasuke and misogyny aside, it’s bc he wrote himself into a corner with her initial characterization & arc that he stuck with for too long

There's no misogyny here. Nothing Kishi said demonstrated any ingrained hatred or contempt for women. So for god's sake people need to stop throwing around that term whenever they come across a female character who they feel should have been treated better in one way or another. That "terrible woman" quote (which people constantly choose to just focus on that and ignore the entire context of the conversation), is Kishi saying that if Sakura suddenly switched her feelings to Naruto, right after he had become the village hero, and dropped Sasuke like a bag of sick despite him still desperately needing help, that would have made her look terrible, because it would've made her seem like she only cares about one's status, reputation and how "cool" they're deemed by society, but that was not the case. They even made a point to highlight this during her fake confession - Sakura referenced a quote describing women as fickle, but Naruto told her to stop lying to herself, because he knew that Sakura's feelings for Sasuke were anything but fickle:

This was no longer the Sakura who had a crush on Sasuke because she and every other girl in the academy thought he was "cool". No, Sasuke at this point was a wanted international criminal who was anything but socially "cool", and yet Sakura still loved him anyway. Why? Because she didn't care about how cool he was - She knew that Sasuke had a heart of gold, she knew that he was dealing with a lot of mental and internal strife, and she knew that he could still be saved. That's why she retained her feelings for Sasuke despite his transgressions, and it had nothing to do with apparent misogyny.

[poppyandzena]

hey poppy let go of Noeh

at some point yer gonna have to accept that the rape allegations were a toxic way to remain tethered to someone who wanted to leave you

she told you: no more

& you told everyone else.: that’s rape

what you’ve managed to choreograph is sabotage. and your supporters and former supporters play(ed) an integral role in that those DMs that just dropped — they show that actually, IT IS YOU who lacks any regard for consent (& with such ease)

she wanted to be left alone she wanted to get out

she essentially said NO over and over and over

to BOTH you and Zena

she said NO (MORE) in so many different ways WHILE you two tag teamed her into a quiet yes — that is what you call “coming to an agreement”? as if that was not the result of being coerced

sidenote

routine covert threats (read: publicly announced “ideations”) of suicide in connection to conflict (perceived abandonment) is coercion, poppy you’ve been doing that publicly for months. You are dangerous as a partner. The fear doesnt just go away, it becomes baked into the relationship & in these contexts, it is well known that suicide is a sibling to homicide — it’s emotional blackmail, it actually IS a form of emotionally terrorizing someone. Poppy you aren’t the only person who has lost a partner. My former partner actually followed through & shot themself in front of me. They died in my arms. I love them very much. Unconditionally. Forever. I miss them everyday. People should be terrified of this, it is fucking awful and the violence of this form of death is nothing to fuck with. It is what your loved ones are left cleaning up. Literally. AND I can still name what that was. It was coercion. It was emotional blackmail, it was abusive. I happen to know a little bit about this stuff. It’s not BPD, it’s coercion. Stop that. Stop coddling this. It is solely poppy’s responsibility to learn ways to manage that — idc what Zena’s codependency compels her to say. Zena go get treatment for that, codependency is too painful not to address. That shit is not anyone else’s responsibility to manage. You both need to manage your own mental health, that is pretty obvious

——

anyway,

you disregarded her no

zena disregarded her no

over and over and over

she revoked your access to her, bluntly & stood her ground — that was not cruelty, it was self preservation

you no longer had consent to carry on further as her romantic partner

you disregarded that boundary (or as you would say, you didn’t “OBEY” her boundary…tf smh) she wanted to stop she wanted out she said it in countless ways — to YOU zena and to YOU poppy

This is an issue of consent

normalizing a total disregard of consent has deeply embedded roots in rape culture

how can you all not connect the dots?

when someone wants to leave you - when a partner wants to break up and asserts: no more, you have absolutely no right to refuse & reject that choice

Alla this is how i knew you were an abuser, poppy.

it’s dangerous to leave abusers and that danger doesn’t always mean threats of physical violence/death . Lethality in a social context is a very real thing — it’s a common tactic used. The concept of a social death exists & it’s relevant here.

you all joined in. that is how this works. she said NO and poppy claimed RAPE. think about the implications for that with specific regard to what poppy is always speaking about — predatorjacketing trans women. Listen, poppy you know exactly what you’re doing here. Those of you who have joined in on this very calculated smear campaign need to go learn about intimidate partner violence. And consent. Jfc. And how this actually does tie to rape culture, just not in obvious ways. some of us recognized abuser dynamics very early on.

poppy is a seasoned abuser, she gets away with abuse

the audacity - to put an educational spin on this level of spite, haphazardly making weak connections to your (very) rudimentary take on rape culture - just to use your mental health platform to both obscure and reinforce abusing an ex partner who just wanted to LEAVE you

you have no right to disregard someone’s choice to leave

abusers can be so charming, huh?

so many of you got played

used

thingified

Cognitive dissonance is a mother fucker

You've put it so thoroughly and eloquently. I appreciate your lived experience and the insight it brings to this conversation. I hope you are safe and thriving, because that shit is hard. We all suffer in some form, and we have to stay relentlessly open, honest, and clear of mind. Thank you 🧡

[cookiewoli]

Okay this is a scream out post, idc who wants to read it or not but I need to unwind.

Every weekends, my fiance and I receive friends at home and play some boardgames all the day. We were playing a game (Dice throne) and I got a card "SchizoOni" and one of the guy here laughed and said

Guy : haha, so that Oni is sometimes kind, sometimes mean

Me : No.

Guy : But that's schizophrenia right ?

Me : No. That's not schizophrenia.

Guy : Okay so this is bipolar ?

Me : No either

Guy : So multiple personalities ?

Me : No. If you play nice but act mean you are just a fucking asshole. Mental illness has nothing to do with.

*Silence in the room*

There are two things that piss me off. First, why some game have cards with "schizo" wrote on it ? Why making cards with schizophrenic character on it ? And why most of them are evil or draw like a psychopath ? Go ahead, then let's make some character cards like "suicidal friend" "PTSD soldier " "bipolar girlfriend" "depressed mom". Obviously these type of cards would be unacceptable. But why it's not the same when it's about schizophrenia ? In aaaaall the different boardgame we have at home, I "banished " almost 10 cards with the term "schizo" wrote on it without any context because it's a fucking trigger warning.

Secondly, people are using the term schizophrenia as an insult and without knowing what it is !! All the clichés are "schizophrenic people are dangerous" "they have multiple personalities" "they're crazy" "they're killing people" and omg all of this are WRONG !

People are always confusing schizophrenia with DID. DID is the dissociative identify disorder. And that's NOT THE SAME THING as schizophrenia. In the DSM-V, DID is into the dissociative disorder family, and schizophrenia is into psychotic disorder. People that are saying "but that's the same thing." No, that's not. It's like saying asthma and lung cancer are the same thing.

Schizophrenia is one of the most misunderstood and terrifying illnesses and no one wants to understand what it's really is. There are under 1% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia. And inside this 1%, there are under 4% of people that are dangerous toward others. Most of people with schizophrenia are dangerous toward THEMSELVES. That's why the Sui**dal rates is very high. Media looooves to show schizophrenic people as dangerous murderer and it's so bullshit. That's one of the reason why people diagnosed with this illness are scared to tell it to others. When I was to a psychiatrist school, some people diagnosed with schizophrenia were lying to their friends "oh, I'm here because I have depression" because they're scared to tell the truth and be seen as monsters. Because that's how people see us.

So let's clarify together what schizophrenia is ! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

- it's NOT a multiple personalities disorder

- they are NOT dangerous toward others. Well, it can happens of course. But it's rare.

- It's NOT two opposing traits switching. Like "Kind - mean" (for example, doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde) or "Happy - sad"

- there are not a "face of schizophrenic person"

(I heard so much people saying to me 'ooooh, but you're so cute. You don't look schizophrenic.")

So. Schizophrenia is a psychotic mental illness. You can resume it by a loss of sense of reality.

It includes hallucinations, delusions and a lot of other things, but I will try to be as simple as possible.

Hallucinations can affects all the senses : touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste. The most knows are hearing voices, or see things that doesn't exist, HOWEVER, see whole people moving, talking to you is a big cliché into the movies. Actually, visual hallucinations can be less impressive. Yes, indeed, some people can have horrible hallucinations (I was concerned when I was 13), but some see things more.... Simple. I knew a girl who was seeing dragonfly and birds. But I knew another guy who was seeing aliens walking into the corridor.

Delusions are more difficult to explain. It's just thinking something that are not real, but it's more complex. You loose your sense of perception of reality. Your sense of reasoning. You loose the meaning of "reality" and that's something very difficult to understand to people when they're see someone close to them locked into their delusions. When you're thinking something stupid, unreal, like "people can read into my mind" your sense of reasoning come and tell you "lmaaaooo, it doesn't exist. People can't read into your mind. That's science-fiction"

Well, when you have schizophrenia, your sense of reasoning has gone for holidays and your like "omg. People can read into my thoughts. What should I do ?? Be careful of what I'm thinking?? Stop see people ?? Tell them to stop reading into my mind ? Stay in my room for months and see nobody until they'll stop ?"

It seems really stupid, but the worse part of delusions is that you're trapped into it and you don't know you're trapped.

Anyway. The same guy I talked about in the beginning said to my fiance "Are you sure she have schizophrenia ? She doesn't seems to. Maybe she's faking, or maybe she just have a lot of imagination. Or she wants attention."

And omg I wanted to fuck myself up so I leave.

YeS iT's jUsT mY iMaGinaTiOn but I get diagnosed of schizoaffective disorder by 4 different psychiatrist. I have to take 7 pills (1725 mg in the beginning . Now 975mg) everyday for the rest of my life, which worsened my hypotension so often I'm fainting randomly when I stand up. I have to see psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse and therapist for the rest of my life too (more of that I'm diagnosed of CPTSD) I can't fucking bear to see my full body recover of scars that have more of 10 year and will stay here forever. I dropped school at 15. Get to mental hospital at 16. 10 times in 2 years and in 4 different places. Then I get accepted to a special school for teenagers with mental illness. But thanks to it, I succeed to finish my studies with good grades.

"Faking my symptoms" ? Oh, yes, of course. Of course. I'm faking hearing voices telling me "hey, see these stairs ? Why don't you jump into it and k*LL yourself ? Nobody loves you" "hey, this person, here. He will try to rape you." "Worthless, useless, unloved, unwanted" I'm faking hitting my head against the wall to make those noises stop.

Yeah, I'm faking feeling bugs crawling into my skin. Yeah, I'm faking tearing up my flesh because I think that the bugs are hide under my skin. And cuz scratching my skin until bleeding will make them leaves. Of course. Of course.

So I CAN'T STAND being told I'm faking my schizoaffective disorder for attention. Even if I'm okay with it, to talk about it, CPTSD was diagnosed recently and hits hard. Mainly from September to January. It's hurt my whole life and sometimes my mental health just break. But my fiance is here with me and I'm so glad to have it.

Okay I'm done complaining ! I don't think people stayed until the end, but if it's the case, just thank you to read all my boring speech. I'm tired, so tired, angry, sad. My psychologist is on holiday, I see my psychiatrist one per month, and my fiance is working so I'm alone at home. I just needed to express my frustration. Because I have big difficulty to talk about my emotions verbally. Even to my fiance. So I'm writing to him on discord even when he's next to me, because my only way to talk about my suffering is by writing. So let's take some med and go to sleep. Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Artist ↑ : avogado6

[fappellmoan]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know